Drag Race España

Chanel Persianorex Lamb and Lentil Pilaf

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 3, Main, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race España fresh off their first challenge – and first time surviving a first episode for The Macarena – Supremme tasked her newest queens with celebrating Eurovision. In a little geography based mini challenge, followed by an epic dance challenge. After The Macarena won the mini, she was given the power to select a rival team captain as the duos built their crews. Despite Clover doing that, it was Pink Cahdora that took out the ultimate win from Team The Macarena. Meanwhile Chuchi landed in the bottom two yet again after dedicating most of her time to helping her sisters in the challenge, before she was tragically sent home by Vania.

Backstage Vanie was giddy to have survived, though heartbroken it came at the cost of Chuchi’s place in the competition. While Hornella was just thrilled to still have her bestie around. And well, Vania too was busy focusing her rage against The Macarena anyway, more than ready to send her home ASAP. Before the revenge arc could commence, the dolls praised Pink Chadora for winning the challenge particularly since nobody actually felt she had a shot in hell. With Bestiah in particular pressed that someone that can not even dance managed to take out the dance challenge, which is relatable, but probably says more about how the judges see everyone else.

The next day the mood was once again perky and camp as the top eleven stomped their way back into the Werk Room celebrating Vania as their new Lip Sync Assassin. After another shout out to Chuchi, talk turned to how hard the judges were coming for them as Supremme warned them that they needed to serve more polish if they want to make it much further. While Chanel lol’d about Pink’s moustache and the fact Visa doesn’t tuck, though seductively suggested if she tried, she would have to tape it to her shoulder. Like Yvie. Insert Jinkx reflecting on life while snorting joke, which is a perfect reference for any and all situations, TBH.

Supremme made her return to put the dolls through their paces in this week’s maxi challenge, the big, bad ball! Which this year was Celebrating Spanish Culture. And for the final category, they would stomp in something they make using traditional regional costumes as their inspiration. And since Pink won the last challenge, she was given the power to assign them. She took the Salamanca suit for herself, Chanel got the Euskadi suit, Valencia for Pakita, Madrid went to Bestiah, Extremadura for Pitita, Aragon to Hornella, Asturias to Kelly, Canary Islands went to Visa and La Rioja to The Macarena, leaving the Flamenco for Clover and Pubilla to Vania. While the first two categories would be celebrations of colour and flavours of Spain.

With that Supremme bid them adios, leaving the dolls to rifle through supplies and come up with a plan for their third outfit. Clover appeared to be having a great time, emulating the orgasm scene from When Harry Met Sally while Bestiah was crapping herself. Vania meanwhile was thrilled to be playing within her wheelhouse, given she was so out of her element last week and now everyone else knows how she felt. Though Pitata was trying her best to help everyone, bless. Whether Chanel believed her intentions were pure or not. Kelly and Chanel were busy shading Pink Chadora for strategically allocating their inspiration, and while she denied it, she totally was being shady. As she should.

Supremme made a triumphant return to kiki with her daughters alongside Ana, with them loving Pink’s concept and the fact she was staying within her brand. Pitita served confidence in her skills and seemed to leave the judges wanting more, Clover meanwhile was nervous after Ana suggested making a negligee. Pakita meanwhile vowed to show off skin, whether it was appropriate for the region, assuring us that she was going to trust her instincts. The Macarena planned to serve wedding dress, using the anniversary of her father’s death to push her over the line. Visa on the other hand was thrilled to be celebrating her Mexican heritage through her look, particularly after Ana advised her on a few killer changes. Vania vowed to sell slutty icon queen of hearts, Bestiah talked around her nerves, focusing on making her aunt proud through her look. Kelly meanwhile was getting by with hot glue and a prayer and Hornella was just in her feels and hoping for the best.

Dia de eliminacion arrived with everyone exhausted after pulling an all nighter on their final looks, as Pakita suggested she was kept up by the hammering sound of sex among the girls. After nobody fessed up – despite Kelly’s awkward face – Visa admitted she was shocked by how difficult the challenge was, always assuming it just looked horrible on TV, but was actually fine. While Pitita whipped out a headlamp and confused the hell out of each and every one of them. Clover meanwhile was disappointed in her look – those damn flamenco ruffles – though vowed to sell it to avoid the lip sync. As the dolls split up to beat their mugs, Hornella checked in with The Macarena who opened up about being quiet since her return to the competition due to the fact she is in recovery and how the shame made it difficult for her to open up to others.

Supremme, Ana y los Javis were joined by Palomo Spain as Pakita opened the Colores runway in a stunning shade of green in honour of Carmina. Hornella was camp, lace-hatted patchwork perfection, Pink Chadora served white thistle glam, Vania was a shimmering red sun and Chanel served lamp, oil and curtains. The Macarena was a glamorous blooming bride, Clover was the sexier bride, paying homage to the Cuban flag, Pitita was a frilly, red delight, Kelly gave shimmering power politician, Visa stole the show as a sexy corn queen and Bestiah gave highlighter, transformer realness. 

When it came to the Sabores runway, Pakita gave a sexy fried egg dame, Hornella served shrimp realness with the coolest, camp wig I’ve ever seen, Pink served red wine – swoon – Vania gave a sexy Suzy Caramel, Chanel served sinner strawberry with an iconic cake wig reveal, The Macarena continued in the slutty ways, this time making it sea urchin. Clover meanwhile gave us glam honey coated nuts, Pitita gave burlesque croquettes before revealing a stunning calamari, Kelly served milk maid realness – which feels right – Visa served spicy chilli before Bestiah stole the category as a gorgeous Chupa Chupa headed sugary delight.

Closing out the show in their looks in honour of the Regiones, Pakita gave sexy mediaeval queen, Hornella was a fringed delight, Pink Chadora served ‘80s Madonna, though called it 90s. Vania meanwhile gave regal camp, Chanel gave Sailor Moon/Gem villain cosplay, The Macarena served grieving old widow, Clover was a power puff delight – spotted, frilled and perfect – before Pitita stole the show in a stunning, architectural look, though erred close to the source material. Kelly Roller also appeared to be inspired by ‘80s rock chicks, Visa was stunning draped in fabric, showing all the skin, before Bestiah closed the ball with an avant garde look which only further cements her as the frontrunner.

After thanking the dolls for stepping their pussies up, Supremme sent Pink, Vania, The Macarena, Visa and Hornella to safety before helping Pakita with all the praise for serving three, perfect, fully realised looks that were each oh so different. Chanel on the other hand was read for giving messy, ill fitting looks and well, it was as brutal as it sounds, and I would argue, nowhere near as bad as the judges made out. Pitita too was heaped with praise for all that she gave before Clover, for some reason, was read for not giving enough in the looks she brought from home and for giving no variety. Kelly was read for paying no attention to detail before Bestiah rounded out the top, thanked for giving perfection once again.

Backstage the safe girls were breathing a sigh of relief to have made it past the ball, with everyone quietly laughing about The Macarena questioning why she was safe. The tops and bottoms joined with the girls pointing out the win is definitely between Patitia and Pakita, while Bestiah was just gagged to be in the top yet again despite her lack of sewing skills. Kelly essentially treated the kiki as a farewell to the girls, knowing she will be lip syncing while Chanel was heartbroken to clearly be in the bottom with her, given she felt she gave something different each time.

Ultimately it was Pitita who took out the win as Pakita and Bestiah were sent to safety as lovely first and second alternates. At the other end of the pack Clover was rightly saved from the lip sync, leaving Kelly Roller and Chanel Anorex to battle to safety. To the Spanish language version of Christina Aguilera’s Genio Atrapado, so yeah, it was a bop AND a show. Chanel was flashing the dolls, Kelly was cartwheeling in skates and while it was messy, it was FUN. And as such, I was heartbroken that both the zaddies didn’t survive and poor Chanel Anorex was felled from the competition.

As she arrived backstage, I quickly pulled Chanel in for a massive hug and assured her that despite being an early out, she easily showcased how much of a sickening queen she is. And well, since she is hot, she will always be a robbed goddess, which is honestly the best you can hope for sometimes. While that didn’t immediately pull her out of her disappointment, after smashing some Chanel Persianorex Lamb and Lentil Pilaf, she quickly rallied, ready for her shot to return to the competition.


This glorious little fusion dish is one of those God-level mid-week meals. Quick and easy, yet hearty and warming, the spiced lamb pairs perfectly with the pilaf to perk up any and all bleak days.

Enjoy!


Chanel Persianorex Lamb and Lentil Pilaf
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
olive oil
1 onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
400g canned lentils, drained and rinsed
½ cauliflower head, cut into florets
1L chicken stock
300g basmati rice
500g lamb mince
2 tbsp Moroccan seasoning
salt and pepper, to taste
1 cup Greek yoghurt
¼ cup mint leaves, roughly chopped
¼ cup slivered almonds, toasted

Method
Heat a lug of oil in a large saucepan over medium heat and sweat the onion and garlic for about 5 minutes, or until soft. Add the rice and cook, stirring, for a further minute to coat. Slowly pour in the stock, cauliflower and lentils, and bring to the boil. Reduce heat to low, cover and cook for 10 minutes, or until the rice is tender and the liquid absorbed.

While that is cooking, heat a lug of oil in a skillet over medium heat and cook the lamb and Moroccan seasoning, breaking up lumps with a wooden spoon, for 5 minutes or so, or until cooked through. Remove from the heat and season.

Finally, combine the yoghurt and mint in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper.

To serve, divide the pilaf between four bowls, top with the lamb followed by a good dollop of minted yoghurt and a sprinkle of almonds. Then devour, like a zaddy.


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Drag Chumchi Pancakes

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 3, Side, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race España doce chicas nuevas y La Macarena arrived, and instantly put on a massive talent show. There was charm and shade, so struggles to find a key in live songs and some poignant piano turned Wizard of Oz hell. Most importantly, Drag Chuchi served body, though sadly not much else, Maria on the other hand lacked precision while Bestiah slayed from start to finish and jagged the first win. Landing in the bottom it was the body versus the bawdy dame, with the former winning as Chuchi sent Maria home to be the next The Macarena. Mercifully saving The Macarena from becoming the Francesca Hogi of Drag Race. Well, maybe, depending on the teased return challenge.

Backstage the dolls were all heartbroken to have lost a sister, which Chuchi was shocked to have even been in the bottom while Chanel hoped it would bring her back down to earth and force her to be a little mas humble. Talk turned to The Macarena surviving her first first episode, while Kelly admitted she was just grateful that two people did worse than her so she didn’t have to lip sync. Bestiah on the other hand was thrilled to have taken out the first win of the season, with Hornella agreeing the game is now well and truly afoot and well, all the dolls were ready to fight.

The next day the queens arrived in formation, ready to slay another week as they worried what exactly it could entail. Once again they praised Maria for being a killer queen – not to be confused with Killer Queen – before talk turned to The Macarena’s opening anus and who exactly the trade of the season is. With Kelly – and most of us – crushing on Chanel Anorex, while Pakita felt Clover was the hottest. Before the dolls could act on any of their feelings, Supremme arrived to announce that for this week’s Mini Challenge, they would be facing off in placing flags of Eurovision songs on a map held up by the zaddy Pit Crew. The first round was hit and miss with only Pakita, Pink, Clover, The Macarena, Kelly and Hornella making it through to the next round guessing an artist based solely on their songs. Which ultimately led to The Macarena taking out victory, much to literally everyone’s chagrin.

And for winning, she would get to select a rival team captain for this week’s Maxi Challenge where they would do a live dance performance. After anointing Vania a rival leader, The Macarena selected Clover, Visa, Chanel, Bestiah and Pink, while Vania enlisted Kelly, Chuchi, Hornella and Pakita, leaving Pitita to round out her team. The groups immediately split up to talk through their plans, with Bestiah concerned about The Macarena and Pink Chadora bringing them down with their complete lack of skills. While Clover was selected to lead the choreography, as The Macarena continued to annoy her sisters by pointing out she is still in charge. The other group were far more zen as they came up with a name and elected Pakita as their lead singer. Aka the low rent version of Clover, according to Kelly. They quickly pivoted to the mainstage to learn their choreography with The Macarena’s Team Glitterazo confident to slay while Las Muerta Haris looked like they were having the absolute best time. Despite Carmelo, the choreographer, not having much faith in them slaying. That being said, I would argue both teams were struggling.

Dia de eliminacion arrived with the dolls all pumped to perform, even Pink Chadora, who knows dancing is not her strong point. Although, that was mainly just an act in front of the queens, as you know she was actually nervous. Kelly meanwhile got shady with The Macarena for having so much chaos in their team, while the other team were proud of how zen they were. And how much Chuchi focused on getting them over the line. As they split up to beat their mugs, the dolls spoke about the discrimination they’ve experienced for showing their feather side, while Chuchi opened up about trying desperately to stay in the closest growing up. Meanwhile Bestiah and Vania were having a quiet moment in the corner of the room, bonding over their difficult experiences coming out to their families and while Vania’s have come around, it is heartbreaking to see them still carry around this trauma.

Supremme, Ana y los Javis were joined by Eurovision icon Soraya as the dolls stomped onto the stage for their dance battles with Team Glitterazo demolishing from start to finish as Clover absolutely owned the performance and Pink was surprisingly killer. Las Muerta Haris, meanwhile, elicited awkward faces from the judges, despite being rather cohesive and on point.

Pink opened the Spain in Eurovision runway with an iconically camp satin purple jumpsuit and robe. The Macarena looked like Diana Ross and Marilyn Monroe’s love child before Chuchi was cute in a suite of reveals to cover an entire band, however it was a little clunky, which sucks, given it was a fun concept. Vania was a camp Grecian delight, Visa was a glittering, shimmering beauty, complete with a sickening rocker reveal, Hornella was a vamp delight inspired by the same look The Macarena was as Kelly took the stage with signature roller skates revealing from a bed through to an ice skater’s gown. Pakita meanwhile was stunning in a little black dress giving all the 80s, as she did reveal after reveal. Bestiah was a vision in a gorgeous red gown before revealing a shimmering silver one underneath. Clover too gave fringed fun, shimmying her way across stage and looking perfect. Chanel was stunning as a shimmering sea witch, whether it was on theme or not, before Pitita stole the show in a stunning rainbow gown.

Before getting to the critiques, Supremme told all the dolls that the judges were concerned about their sloppiness, asking them to remember where they are and to bring some polish. And for heaven’s sake, brush. Their. Wigs. Despite this warning from the judges, Team Glitterazo took out victory with Pink Chadora taking out the ultimate win, despite the fact Clover Bish was right there, since her outfit was subpar, apparently. After they were shooed off stage Chuchi was read for lacking edit and polish on the runway, despite being good with the dancing. Vania was read for getting lost in her head and not being polished with her mug, Hornella was praised for being camp and fun, Kelly was praised for enjoying herself and looking stunning, Pakita’s looks were beloved before they read her for bombing the performance, while Pitita’s passion for highlighter was a dud, despite them judges loving everything else she served.

Backstage the victors were thrilled to have made it through another week, with The Macarena particularly excited to have crushed her episodic record. Pink meanwhile was shocked to have taken out the win, despite not being a good dancer. With Bestiah hoping it will bode well for her when she faces something she isn’t strong with. The bottom group joined them with Chuchi confident she would be lip syncing again due to serving four ugly outfits, while Vania apologised for letting her team down and landing them in the bottom. 

Ultimately Pitita, Hornella and Kelly were sent to safety before Pakita narrowly joined them, leading Vania to lip sync for her life against Drag Chuchi. As La noche es para mi by Soyara kicked off Chuchi looked to have almost given up and while she turned a show, there was no denying it was Vania that was bringing all the fire. And camp comedy, which was enough to take out victory and send poor Drag Chuchi out of the competition.

As she arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a long hug, assuring her that while she didn’t get to slay the competition, she did show that she is a sickening performer. And well, she is hot, so me and the fandom will always remember her as a robbed goddess and land her a place on All Stars, kinda like Milk. Which surprisingly was enough to perk her up, even before the Drag Chumchi Pancakes were done.

Kimchi pancakes are such a glorious little snack. A little spicy, a little tart and oh so comforting, they warm the soul and delight your taste buds. Which is just how Drag Chuchi makes me feel, TBH.

Enjoy!

Drag Chumchi Pancakes
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 egg
1 tsp kimchi brine
¼ cup soy sauce
¼ cup water
¾ cup flour
1½ cups kimchi, roughly chopped
4 shallots, sliced
grapeseed oil, for fryin’
3 tbsp rice wine vinegar

Method
Whisk the egg, brine, a tablespoon of the oil and water in a bowl, followed by the flour. Fold through the kimchi and half the shallots until just combined.

Heat a lug of the oil in a medium skillet over medium heat and add a couple of quarter-cups of batter into the pan and cook for a couple of minutes. Flip and cook for a further few minutes before removing to a wire rack and repeating the process.

Combine the remaining soy sauce and vinegar in a bowl and serve alongside the pancakes with the extra shallots sprinkled over the top. And devour while piping hot.


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Instant Mariamen Edilia

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 3, Main, Snack, Soup, Street Food, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race España 12 reinas nuevas arrived in the Werk Room, ready to prove that they and Supremme are the greatest international franchise. Starting with a stunning display of nudity on the first runway, courtesy of Marina. The dolls dazzled and delighted, with camp fun and a whole lot of heart – and drama, thanks to Marina and Juriji – before it was whittled down to just four. Well, three after Marina was eliminated in the final episode. Ultimately though, despite Marina starring in this here recap, it was Sharonne who dominated from start to finish and rightly landed herself the crown.

It is lights up in the Werk Room for another year, however, as Pink Chadora arrived looking like a floral bimbo queen and instantly I fell in love and saw a place for her in the Barbie movie, so fit her in please Margot! She was joined by Hornella Góngora who gave Jessica Rabbit realness in all the right ways. After they became the fastest of friends – bonding over Hornella’s papaya – Pakita arrived serving smut and sex as a fluffy devil and well, my basement is flooded and I am struggling to breathe. Bestiah rock’n’rolled her way into the competition looking like a cartoon high school baddie and again, I am in love. She was followed by Pitita serving old Hollywood glamour in a hard pivot, which I’ve come to love from España.

The fivesome’s kiki was interrupted by the arrival of Spanish Ginger Minj, Maria Edilia with an epically long entry line that won over my heart. Representing the Canary Islands this year was Drag Chuchi who served golden stilt realness and looked like he could choke me out of drag. So yeah, she is my new fave. Vania Vainilla arrived serving goth showgirl realness, but then Pitita explained her anus was closed for renovations and that information became more important than any new arrivals could ever be. Clover Bish became the second cis female to compete globally, looking like Adore Delano does Cher Horowitz and well, I love her. As does Pitita, busted anus or not. Channelling Trixie entering All Stars, Kelly Roller arrived serving roller Barbie and well, I live. Particularly seeing her out of drag, as once again, my basement is flooded.

Chanel Anorex was next to join the fray looking like the love child of a bull and the green goblin, but surprise surprise, was a zaddy out of drag, so I stan. Rounding out the cast was Mexico’s finest Visa arrived, serving ancient goddess realness and ugh, it was perfect. Wait, hang on, there is another doll this season as The Macarena returned for another shot at the crown which gagged everyone. Who were obviously super shady about having a repeater in the class. Before they could completely break The Macarena, Supremme arrived to welcome her newest girls. With a cheeky little roll around the hay mini challenge. Aka a photoshoot with each serving barnyard chic, based on the animal they pulled out of the zaddy pit crew’s sack. 

After getting into animal quick drag, the dolls joined the zaddies on set as Pitita gave the most demented rat, channelling the icon herself – and newest three timer – Jimbo. Kelly Roller buzzed her way into my heart as a rollerskating bee, The Macarena was an unhinged hen that would make Detox proud while Maria Edilia was an adorable, smutty little piggy. Clover gave hot cow, Chanel was a wild, junky boro, Bestiah bounded into our hearts as a bunny, Vania was a horny horse and wisely got the Pit Crew to ride her, so yeah, that is a win for me. Pink Chadora meanwhile was a glamour fly, before Visa gave party ladybug and Hornella served an even hornier cow than those that came before her. Chuchi meanwhile gave sexy sheep, wisely getting the Pit Crew involved too before Pakita stole my heart as she showed us just how hungry a wolf can be. Ultimately though there could only be one winner and that was rightly Hornella, because it was completely unhinged.

Before departing Supremme announced that for their first maxi challenge they would be throwing a little Talent Show! But more importantly, they all dedragged to flood my basement while checking in on how The Macarena feels to be back. And decide whether a single episode even gives her an upper hand. The Macarena meanwhile was busy bonding with Clover and Chuchi, with the old hands telling Clover to stand firm and know she belongs. Oh and then they all bonded over not getting laid without eyebrows, which makes me and my Eugene Levy’s feel really good right about now!

Dia de eliminacion arrived with everyone excited for their first challenge, while The Macarena was just hoping to avoid the bottom. Talk turned to everyone being talented singers, which made Pink nervous about it landing her in the bottom. They then pivoted to who they see as the biggest threat – already – as everyone agreed it was Pitita, while she in turn was nervous about Hornella. As they split up to beat their mugs, the dolls bonded over their partners with Pink Chadora thrilled to have sucked the same dick for 15 years. Like an icon.

Supremme, Ana y los Javis were joined by zaddy Paco Leon on the judges panel as Visa opened the Supremme Eleganza Talent Extravanganza with a killer, camp Mayan gymnastic act in ropes. She spun, she split, she sung, sha danced and it was amazing and I love her. Bestiah then calmly sat with her talent, playing the piano and singing and well, it was beautiful, lack of camp be damned! Wait, no, it turned it a punk rock performance with backup dancers rocking in like the monkeys in Wizard of Oz. It was wild and a bop and this is why España is my favourite franchise. Vania meanwhile gave boudoir glam as she taught tantric, complete with fire and rotating through the Pit Crew like magic. Or Khalessi’s power. Clover then listened to our lord and saviour Anetra and walked the fucking duck. And it was glorious.

Like the Pit Crew’s speedos.

Maria meanwhile served typing lip sync before getting with her boss and well, it made no sense which is why I kinda love it. Pink Chadora meanwhile sung an original song about farming, Bambi or global warming. Either way, there were dancing carrots and therefore, I love it. The Macarena served sexy Britney as she sang her original song, despite a missing key here or there. Pitita gave camp, mime, chic complete with snacks both food and in the form of sexy sailer back-up dancers. So again, I live. Drag Chuchi meanwhile served drama as she lip synced about Dia De Los Muertos before it too turned sexy. Hornella Góngora then sang Dancing on My Own as two zaddies danced live and made out. So yep, you guessed it, another win. 

Kelly Roller was thankfully on brand skating her way across stage as she lip synced looking ready to compete in the Hunger Games and while I live, that is mainly because she went off the stage. Sometimes on purpose. Pakita then gave an emotional performance singing before stripping off and pole dancing and well, I love it. Chanel Anorex then closed the show giving sexy snow beast before lip syncing to Cannibal as the back-up dancers coated her in red paint. So yep, I did stan it because it was amazing.

On the Spain is Different runway, Bestish was a glamour serrano ham, ready for battle in all the right ways. Hornella was a shimmering red Goya delight, Vania was a gaudy (in a good way) pink and purple puffy star and looked to be having the most fun possible. Pink Chadora was a ruffled, leather femme fatale, ready to take you as soon as you start something. Drag Chuchi gave disco ball comes disco diva, looking stunning in the process. And serving all the body. Chanel gave camp icon ready for a day at the races or fresh from an easter hat parade. Complete with high heeled crocs. Pitita gave us Alaska’s trashbag look, though upcycled with a tonne of cash. Maria gave camp, vamp ladybug, Pakita was the most camp, giving the sun and moon, dripping in tinsel like a glam car wash. Again, in a good way. Clover looked ready to sing cabaret at a rich fundraiser in a shimmering black gown, The Macarena served drama as she gave bleeding, murdered art before Visa served shimmering tower, into a chameleon and well it was batshit, so I love it. While Kelly walked the runway selling herself as an 80s theatre icon.

Vania, Pitita, Pink, Chanel, Clover and Visa were sent to safety before Bestiah received universal praise for her looks and for slaying the talent show. Hornella was praised for singing live and holding their attention, despite being pitchy. Chuchi was read for not giving enough Canary Islands in the talent show and for being hit and miss with her looks. Maria was read for messing up the sync of the lip sync of her talent show. Pakita received wall to wall praise for all the diverse things she showed this week. The Macarena was read for being pitchy throughout the performance, though was praised for fitting everything to her body. Despite the exposed corset. Kelly too was read for her nerves and the moment where she fell from the stage, despite them loving her runway.

Backstage the safe girls celebrated making it through another week, with Pink in particular happy to survive on something she was scared of. Clover meanwhile felt she and Visa were robbed of a place in the top, while the others were a little shocked it wasn’t Vania winning, though agreed out of the dolls left, it should be Bestiah snatching the first victory. The tops and bottoms soon joined them with Maria opening up about clearly being in the bottom, while The Macarena was concerned about history repeating itself. Chuchi on the other hand was proud of her performance, despite being read for it.

Ultimately the dolls proved to be right as Bestiah took out victory after Hornella, Pakita and Kelly were sent to safety. Despite her fears, The Macarena narrowly avoided the lip sync as she was sent to safety, leaving Maria and Chuchi to battle it out to Despechá by Rosalía and while I’d like to say it was a battle, it erred more on the side of a bloodbath as Chuchi stripped down to pasties – top and bottom – shaking and flipping all over stage completely nude. And well, maybe I am distracted by the flooded basement, but she rightly earned her safety as sweet Maria became the The Macarena of the season. Or is she, given Supremme’s cryptic video at the end? Dun, dun, DUN.

Despite whatever it is Supremme has planned for the eliminated dolls this season, I pulled Maria in for a massive hug as soon as she returned to the Werk Room. While we were tragically robbed of seeing everything she has to offer, I once again rolled out the platitude that first boots are always more memorable than early boots and as such, she is now as iconic as the future winner of the season. Plus, being the first boot doesn’t appear to have stopped Jaymes Mansfield from becoming an All Star now, does it? After that, she was feeling very pleased with herself and was thrilled to join me in toasting her speed run with a piping hot bowl of Instant Mariamen Edilia.

Like Tayce before me, 2 Minute Noodles are one of my favourite foods (of childhood, at least) and this little copycat is an elevation that warms your soul. Sweet, smooth and earthy, the miso broth adds the perfect kick for any mood.

Enjoy!

Instant Mariamen Edilia
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 tbsp miso paste
1L chicken stock
300g instant ramen
1 tbsp parsley, roughly chopped

Method
Combine the miso paste and stock in a large saucepan over medium heat, and cook, stirring, until it comes to the boil. Reduce heat to low, add the noodles and simmer for a couple of minutes, say two, until they are soft and tender.

Remove from the heat, stir in the parsley, stir and then devour. Joyously.


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¡Telétransportame a Marte, iconos!

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 3, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

La versión hipercolor favorita de todos de Drag Race – España – está de vuelta en nuestras pantallas y mi corazón está abierto para sus poderosas discusiones previas a la pasarela. Y mi sótano obviamente está listo para ser inundado por las miradas de los Javis.

Al igual que la mujer que supongo inspiró el tema promocional, la insumergible Tammie Brown, España es un poco chiflada, específica en todos los sentidos y, lo que es más importante, absolutamente genial. Es decir, tan pronto como Supremme me envió una línea y me pidió que le brindara comodidad a sus muñecas – dos veces, con el próximo All Stars – inmediatamente alquilé un avión para ayudarla en lo que ella necesitara.

¿Alguien de Carmen y Sharonne se abrirán paso en la competencia por tercera vez, o los jueces irán un poco al Reino Unido y elegirán un ganador comodín? no puedo decir

But board the rocket and get ready to shoot to the moon, because you know these queens are going to make the journey fun! And I’ll be keeping them fed – while they keep us fed – each week after they’re eliminated (sorry, university and duolingo could only take me so far).

And who will be the The Macarena of the season?

📷: ATRESplayer Premium.


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Caesharonne Salad Dressing

Condiment, Drag Race España, Drag Race España 2, Sauce, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race España 12 iconic new queens entered the Werk Room, ready to live up to the hype generated by their first season sisters. As good as they all were, somebody had to go first as the delightful Marisa Prisa stumbled at the first hurdle. My sweet zaddy Ariel soon followed before Samantha Ballentines was felled on her third go in the bottom. Jota was the next to go before Snatch Game took out the immensely talented Onyx. Diamante soon followed before Sethlas was cut on her first time in the bottom before Juriji narrowly missed out on getting to the top.

Since everyone nailed the makeover and were sent through to the finale.

After a gruelling final challenge, Marina was eliminated in fourth place before the top three lip synced for the crown. And while Estrella and Venedita are both stars, Sharonne demolished the competition and did everything she could to guarantee herself the crown. And you know, cementing herself as having the best track record of all time.

Ever the consummate professional, Sharonne was humble as she claimed victory thanking everyone involved in the show and her new sisters for being so kind and supportive. By the time she was dedicating her win to her actual sisters and mother for being the shining queens of her life, I was pushing out a single tear Lisa Rinna style.

As she exited the stage, I pulled her in for a hug and congratulated her on such a dominant performance throughout the season. Week after week she delivered a stunning performance, was kind and loving with her sisters and all around was a delight to watch. And as such, I was filled to victoriously guzzle Caesharonne Salad Dressing with her!

Now I know I spend a tonne of time bitching about seafood, but I fell in love with caesar dressing before I learnt what the black chunks were so thankfully have continued to love it. Anchovies be damned! Plus, I have a passion for salty, creamy sauces, so I will look past it.

Enjoy!

Caesharonne Salad Dressing
Makes: 1 cup.

Ingredients
6 anchovy fillets, drained
2 garlic cloves
kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 egg yolks
1 lemon, zested and juiced
1 tsp Dijon mustard
2 tbsp olive oil
½ cup vegetable oil
¼ cup parmesan cheese, grated

Method
The fateful day I learnt about the whole anchovy of it all, I was working in a cafe and making a huge amount of dressing. As such, my method is the commercial quantity version using a food processor or blender.

Start by blitzing the anchovy and garlic together with a pinch of salt over high speed. Reduce to low and blitz in the egg yolks, followed by 2 tbsp of lemon juice and all the zest and the mustard. Increase speed to medium and pout in the olive oil a few drops at a time, not rushing the process otherwise it will split. Add the vegetable oil in a very slow and steady stream until the dressing is thick and glossy.

Add the parmesan and blitz further, before seasoning and adding more lemon juice if required. Then either drizzle on a salad, or drink triumphantly.


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Liquidita Von Däshcake

Baking, Cheese, Dessert, Drag Race España, Drag Race España 2, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race España the top four made over older gay men from the Fundación 26 de Diciembre. One of whom was famous fashion designer Petro Valverde, meaning the pressure was well and truly on Sharonne to do well. Thankfully she did as the duo formed a tight bond and pulled together a killer performance. Estrella and Marina meanwhile landed in the bottom for not having their details down pat. Ultimately though it was Venedita who won the challenge and went straight through to the final alongside Sharonne, leaving the duo to battle it out for the final slot. The gag of the season however was that both of the girls slayed the lip sync and as such, Supremme had no choice but to have a top four this year.

Backstage the dolls were thrilled to stay as the top four, particularly Estrella who was sure that she was the one being eliminated. She opened up about how she was trying so hard to put on a brave face on stage, so was overwhelmed by the fact Supremme saw something in her that was worthy of saving. Sharonne reminded everyone to focus on the fact they are the first top four in Drag Race España history and that is because they are all icons. While Venedita continued to try and woo the audience to her side by subtly hashtagging in the background. Estrella on the other hand was ready to Showgirls her way to the end, while Sharonne was going to try her best, which is arguably the strongest track record ever.

The next day the finalists returned to the Werk Room feeling nostalgic about the experience and emotional that it is ending. Venedita reiterated that she would love to be the first bearded queen to win, while everyone agreed it is currently Sharonne’s crown to lose. Though that doesn’t mean anyone is going to make it easy for her. Speaking of which, Supremme eventually arrived to announce that for their final challenge the dolls would be performing alongside her in a music video, including writing and recording a verse and learning a tonne of choreography.

Oh and everyone would get to join her for a light lunch, with Venedita first on the guest list, opening up to Mama Supremme about how happy she is to make it to the end and that it was like a dream to her. She opened up about the explosion of social media leading to her starting drag and inspiring her to play with androgyny in her performance. Estrella was next and couldn’t believe she had made it to the end and how much the judges loved her. Hilariously she got her start in drag by befriending three queens in the street when trying to avoid someone picking her up. Which is as wild and iconic as you’d expect from her.

Sharonne opened up about the pressure that comes with going into the competition as an already successful, famous queen, though was proud of herself for continuing to evolve throughout the season. She opened up about being inspired to do drag by listening to her dad’s old records and wanting to perform like them. Marina meanwhile spoke about how drag to her is conceptual and creative and hard to explain, though she was proud of the character she created and looked forward to reflecting on the experience to see just what she has learned and how much she has grown.

With that out of the way, the dolls finally got to work writing their verses with Estrella and Venedita working well together and agreeing it is good to play into their strengths and keep it on the safer side. Marina and Sharonne were being a bit more creative and sensual with their approach and honestly were living their best lives as they bounced off each other. One thing all four of them could agree on is that they all have a massive challenge ahead of them and that this season truly has upped the ante. As has Marina, who the dolls were living for as she continued to drop killer lyric after killer lyric.

The dolls ventured to the mainstage to work on their choreography with Drag Race choreographer Carmelo and a series of flexible daddies. Venedita was feeling the pressure of pulling everything together at one time, while Sharonne was well and truly feeling her oats. Despite worrying about the complexity of the choreography. Marina was encouraged to give more confidence before Carmelo decided that their eliminated sisters should join them for the final performance and well, the reunion was sweet to see. Despite it distracting from the sweats-clad Pit Crew.

Speaking of sweats, Estrella’s had a massive hole in the crotch and well, I live.

It was family only on the panel as Supremme, Ana y Los Javis took their places at the table as Carmen arrived to drop off her crown – please tell me she doesn’t actually have to return it – and kick off the film clip. The dolls all turned it out, though it truly was Sharonne’s show as she gave it her all and hit every damn note. Marina was sensual, Estrella had all the personality and Venedita looked stunning. More importantly, why weren’t the Pit Crew wearing jockstraps?

On the My Best Drag runway Venedira was a sumptuous, blue belle, serving glamour and sex and looking oh so expensive. Marina was a dramatic black flower and was completely stunning. Estrella was full pastel perfection, camp and fun as she went back to the 19th century. And then Sharonne shut it down in a shimmering gown complete with a massive heart on her chest, ready to rebirth and take flight as a phoenix.

The judges lived for Venedita’s versatility and for alway bringing fashion to the runway and looking stunning. Marina meanwhile was beloved for always being smart and thinking outside the box and giving them something different. And for serving some of the most iconic looks on the runway and always telling a story. Estrella was praised for constantly evolving and being present, serving not just comedy but for doing it in the right way thanks to her impeccable instincts. She was fun, warm and smart, and well, the judges clearly love her. When it came to Sharonne, she received universal praise for being a star and being versatile enough to succeed at anything and everything she put her mind to. And for her ability to keep her ego in check.

Backstage the dolls were overwhelmed by all the love from the judges, despite the fact they were all completely exhausted. Estrella was emotional about the fact it was all coming to an end, while Marina shared how proud she was to be sitting alongside her three sisters with Sharonne agreeing that she is leaving the competition with a family she will treasure forever. Talk turned to who they thought would win with Venedita feeling like Sharonne is still the front runner, while Sharonne admitted that they are all stars though that she always felt like Venedita would be a worthy winner. While Estrella praised Marina for bringing mystery.

The eliminated queens walked the runway one final time with Marisa serving red-hot arse, Ariel gave sexy Ariel, Samantha was ravishing in red, Jota gave drama in shimmering bondage black, Onyx gave alien queen, Diamante was a black and white delight while Sethlas brought all the papal drama you’d expect from the Canary Islands while Juriji was sexy in a gorgeous mulberry tulle number.

Ultimately though, the top four were the stars. Well, top three as the judges opted to cut Marina just ahead of the final lip sync to Ni tú ni nadie by Alaska y Dinarama. And well, all three were desperate for the crown and ready to fight. Estrella leant into comedy and gave many a gag, Venedita gave burlesque beauty, though it truly was Sharonne’s victory lap as she hit every lyric and gave drama and emotion. And even a wig reveal, followed by showering herself in confetti followed by exploding her heart in glitter. And well, it was only correct that she took out the win.

That being said, Venedita was impeccable throughout the entire competition and well and truly deserving of her place in the final. From the very frist moment she entered the Werk Room, it was clear she was a star which is exactly what I told her as we caught up backstage. While she was disappointed to not take out the crown, she knew that she had done herself proud so after a big hug from a dear friend like me and a bowl of Liquidita Von Däshcake, she was well and truly ready to take on the world.

Another Milk Bar delight – actually the filling for Jonathan’s bun (pie) – this velvety smooth confection is hard to describe. Packing the flavorful punch of cheesecake but with the texture of custard, this versatile sweet is perfect spread on cookies, baked into a pie, turned into ice cream, or better yet, eating solo, gladly.

Enjoy!

Liquidita Von Däshcake
Serves: 1 runner-up and her bestie.

Ingredients
250g cream cheese
150g raw caster sugar
1 tbsp cornstarch
½ tsp kosher salt
2 tbsp milk
1 egg

Method
Pop the cream cheese in the bowl of a stand mixer and beat on medium for a couple of minutes. Add the sugar and beat for an additional couple of minutes and scrape down the sides.

Combine the cornstarch, salt, milk and egg in a jug and whisk together until smooth, before adding to the mixer and beating for another 3 or 4 minutes, or until beautifully smooth.

Pour into a lined square cake pan and bake for 15 minutes, or until the outside is just setting, but it is still jiggly in the middle. Remove from the oven to cool. Then devour, greedily.


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Porchettarina

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 2, Main, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race España 12 new queens entered the Werk Room, ready to slay. Tragically though, not everyone could stick around – this isn’t All Winners, or half of the season 13 and 14 episodes – as Marisa, Ariel, Samantha, Jota, Onyx, Diamante, Sethlas and Juriji exited. At the top four, the dolls madeover older members of the LGBTQIA+ community and while Sharonne and Venedita slayed – with the latter winning her second challenge – Estrella and Marina didn’t shine as brightly and landed in the bottom. Thankfully though, Supremme knew that all four were worthy of a place in the final, keeping both of them around to battle their sisters for the crown. But first, they all had to get back together!

Supremme kicked off the reunion welcoming the dolls back to the Mainstage to talk shit about the season. Oh, and to crown their Miss Congeniality. But more importantly Yara Sofia sent in a video message to send them her love and praise them on a killer season, followed by Samantha Hudson at the salon mid-bleaching, sweet old icon Karina who I sadly hadn’t heard of before the show and Manila Luzon who gave up on speaking Spanish after the first sentence. And well, needless to say all the dolls were touched. Particularly Onyx, who was thrilled by Manila’s message about not needing a crown to win. Because, duh, she is a sexy icon.


We then got a series of recaps of each of the top four’s journeys and while everyone clearly slayed the game this season, if Marina’s full frontal doesn’t take the crown, it has to go to Sharonne, right? Or did I just jinx her? In any event, Estrella was thrilled to narrowly make it through to the final as was Marina, while Sharonne admitted the last few weeks of the competition were truly stressful and emotional, whether you were in the top or on the bottom. Being a humble icon, when Supremme inferred it was obvious she was making it to the end, she spoke about the fact the competition is all about luck and she got lucky that the judges liked all that she had to offer. While Venedita was glad to get a win just before the finale and have that confidence boost going into the final challenge.

That was followed by a filler segment watching the eliminated queens audition tapes and well, the production values were on point but yeah, it was all filler. Except for the fact we learnt Drag Sethlas has a tonne of money because her outfits were on point and looked expensive.

Talk turned to Estrella and Samantha being stupid, fun and/or loud in the Werk Room, and while some of their sisters lived for it Ariel felt they kinda took a lot of air out of the room and made it hard for the quieter girls to shine. And well, Ariel Rec is hot and I love her, so I accept her take as gospel. Despite loving the madness her sisters brought to the show. Everyone turned their attention to Jota’s penchant for lies and exaggeration, with her reading them for saying she lies when she simply embellishes her stories. Though the Lola Flores shawl she said she owns is definitely Lola Flores’, despite what her sisters have to say. When it came to talking about Diamante and her potential lies about having no sewing skills despite turning an epic look, everyone was a little more open to believing her.

We finally turned our attention to the epic feud between Marina and Juriji, which importantly centred on Marina’s penchant for gross farts. While Juriji was happy to talk it through and resolve things, Marina wasn’t really looking to move on given she felt very disrespected by Juriji at that moment and she isn’t sure how to talk about it. Juriji admitted she too felt disrespected during their fight, but even that didn’t seem to make her want to resolve things. Particularly when they had to talk about their feud when Sethlas teamed up with Marina, because it only made Marina angrier at her sister. Despite Juriji explaining that she felt she has never fit in and them telling her she was the weakest was a trigger to her.

Before recapping the looks of the season Pedro ma’tuckin’ Almodovar sent the dolls a message praising them for their runways dedicated to him. And admitted he shared the videos far and wide in the fashion world and ugh. Is Spain the prime franchise, now?

Supremme then tasked the eliminated queens with stomping the runway in a look they couldn’t show with Marisa opting for a killer art look, shagadelic and dedicated to Picasso. By way of the loom. Ariel slayed as a smurf cleaner to a queer superhero, while Samantha rocked a TV, Jota mashed up neon ballet with latex rocker gimp, Onyx was a sexy flapper vampire, Diamante came out of the closet as houndstooth and Sethlas was a showgirl charity pin. Ultimately the queen that won the Best Lost Look sash was first boot Marisa and well, it’s what she deserves.

They then gave another prize for the Hungriest Queen, with this time only Estrella and Juriji eligible for the prize. Though obviously that one was going to Estrella, who found a way to work eating into any and all challenges. Talk turned to who should win the season with everyone pleading their case before the queens voted and were split between Estrella, Venedita and Sharonne. And since this reunion is starting to feel like election coverage, we then finally learnt who the queens voted as their Miss Congeniality of the season – Samantha Ballentines! And well, wasn’t she thrilled to get some 1-on-1 time with the zaddy Pit Crew who delivered the sash!

As the exited the mainstage, I quickly pulled Marina aside to give her some late breaking sustenance and encouragement ahead of the final challenge. How lucky is she to be next in the alphabet after Estrella! While my favourite moment of hers from the season was due to my aggressive thirst – free the peen! – she also slayed from start to finish, giving a polished collection of creative runways and also shining in the roast. As such, I carved her off a chunk of Porchettarina and toasted her success.

There is honestly nothing better than a perfectly cooked porchetta. Sweet and juicy meat, melting away in your mouth with a hearty crust of crackling and a delicate punch of herbaceous garlicky heaven? Swoon.

Enjoy!

Porchettarina
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1.5kg pork belly, boneless
1 tbsp fennel seeds
2 tsp black peppercorns
8 cloves garlic
½ tsp kosher salt, plus extra for salting
10 sage leaves, finely chopped
2 tsp chilli flakes
1 tbsp olive oil

Method
Start by scoring both the skin and meat side of the pork belly to form a cross hatching.

Meanwhile, toast the fennel seeds in a dry, medium-heat frying pan until nice and fragrant before popping into a mortar and pestle alongside the peppercorns, garlic and salt until it forms a paste. Transfer to a bowl and mix through the sage, chilli and oil.

Rub the paste over the meat side of the pork and then roll to form a log and using kitchen string, tie it along the meat in intervals to secure. Transfer to a roast pan with a rack and aggressively rub the skin with the additional sea salt. Transfer to a fridge for 8 hours or so to allow the skin to dry. I may have cut a corner here, which is why we’re missing out on glorious crackling.

When you’re ready to go, preheat the oven to 220°C and rub the excess salt off the skin. Transfer to the oven and cook for 20 minutes before reducing heat to 150°C and cooking for 2 hours.

Depending on how the crackling has gone, you could then crank the oven back up to 220°C for ten minutes for a final crisp, or pop it under a hot grill for five minutes. But ideally, that shouldn’t be necessary.

Rest for ten minutes or so before removing the string, slicing and most importantly, devouring.


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Estrella Garlixtravagaanza

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 2, Side, Snack, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race España the dolls popped on a roast, which is apparently not something that is done in Spain. Which TBH, makes sense, since everyone just seems loving and passionate, rather than the kind to shit talk. Despite this, Marina was shockingly dominant in the challenge while Sharonne and Estrella were their usual brand of solid. Sadly that left Juriji y Venedita as the bottom by default and despite both turning one hell of a show in the lip sync, we finally suffered the tragic loss of losing Juriji.

Backstage the dolls were shocked that Juriji had finally left the competition, though given Venedita was her only one that was close with her, the rest of the dolls couldn’t relate to her pain. Though they did agree that the duo put on an epic show in the lip sync and that had everyone gagged. They turned their attention to Marina, congratulating her on finally jagging a win. Before moving on just as quickly to de-drag.

The next day the dolls were focused on celebrating the fact they made it to the top four, aka the semi-finals. Though Estrella had already put herself and Sharonne in the final, telling Venedita and Marina one of them will likely be eliminated. Essentially. Supremme dropped to also congratulate them on making it so far, before smacking them back down to earth and forcing them into a five minute quick drag. While Estrella hurled abuse at her like an icon. After getting into the quickest drag, the dolls were tasked with sticking their hands inside a big old box and guessing what was inside. And well, since the Pit Crew was there, I know I would have preferred to feel what they were up to. But I digress. 

Estrella was up first and was immediately disgusted by the scent of her box, though correctly guessed they were pickled eggs. Venedita was lucky enough to get a dildo and a merkin and well, got it immediately. Marina got jelly, while Sharonne was lucky enough to rub one of the zaddy Pit Crew’s heads. The one up top, sadly. Apparently they were competing and Estrella won. And not just any prize, but a magazine shoot.

Supremme cleared out the Pit Crew – boo – before announcing that for this week’s challenge the dolls would be doing makeovers. For members of the Fundación 26 de Diciembre and ugh, this is going to be so sweet. I mean, if one of them announced they may have killed Judy Garland, I would be even happier, but older queer people getting in drag always makes me happy. But side bar, the charity supports old queer people in Spain who experienced persecution under the Franco regime and provide them with supports to live visibly, so I love them all already.

As the winner of the mini challenge, Estrella also got to pair everyone up going rather fair, matching everyone up with someone with a similar vibe. Though poor Sharonne did get paired with fashion designer Petro Valverde as her drag mother, which should make sewing any outfits a very stressful experience.

Everyone split up to get to know their new drag family members with Venedita’s partner Consuelo opening up about struggling more with his sexuality as he got older as it was harder to be accepted and find queer spaces. Marina’s partner Antonia was adorably excited to be with a no-binary queen and ugh, watching her correct herself when Marina calmly glazed over it was so cute. As was watching Marina’s heart break for Antonia having to live such a colourless life to fit in. Petro meanwhile was giving Sharonne a history lesson and explained that in addition to dressing Infanta Elena, he also dressed a drag queen when she was starting out. While Estrella just told her partner how they would be performing on the mainstage and then made her practice walking in her heels.

After everyone did a bit of a practice in their heels, Venedita straight up got to work sewing her look and well, it looked good. Really good. Marina meanwhile was busy trying to squeeze her new mother into her own costumes, before Supremme returned with Ana to deliver a giant birthday cake for Estrella and Petro. They then checked in on all the girls, reminding Estrella to focus on nailing the silhouette and telling a story. Ana and Sharonne gushed over their love for Petro while their runway story will focus on talking shit about each other, which I love. Venedita and Consuelo were clearly vibing and ready to take out victory, while Marina and Frederico would be playing with all the colour.

Dia de elimination arrived with everyone quickly getting into their pairs with Marina and Venedita’s partners opening up about their marriage and how both their parents lived with them for a time and ugh, they are so adorable and full of love. But the dolls had work to do, so we all dried our tears as they split up to shave, pluck and glue down their brows. Petro and Sharonne meanwhile had a little heart-to-heart with Sharonne opening up about how difficult it was for her family to accept her and ugh, I love this duo so much.

Supremme, Ana y los Javis were joined by Alexis Mateo – BAM – on the judges panel where Estrella y Teresa opened the show giving neon space fighters and well, they looked similar and were oh so charming. Sharonne and Sharinne gave us old Hollywood glamour and it was perfect.  Marina and Antonia looked like Natalie Portman in Closer’s aunts, though made it Disney villain before Venedita shut it down with Vinagreta, wearing matching comic trenches in black and white and colour, looking stunning and giving us all the personality.

Estrella and Teresa were praised for having such killer chemistry, despite the outfits being a bit basic. Sharonne once again received universal praise, particularly for how much effort she put into her new sister. Marina and Antonia were praised for bringing all the fun and silliness, though they were read for being a little sloppy with the details. And then Venedita and Vinagreta rightly received all the damn praise. Because it was perfection.

Backstage Estrella was nervous about lip syncing so close to the end, knowing it is definitely her and Marina in the bottom two. Given they knew each other before the competition, they were particularly disappointed to be battling it out, while Vinagreta toasted to Venedita and Sharonne for doing such a good job. While Sharonne justly panicked that they might to a bottom three again to get into the final.

The top four were brought back to the stage where they had to talk to their younger selves with Estrella reminding her baby self to focus on all that is good in the world and to believe in herself. Sharonne told little Cristobal to take everything in his stride and to invest in the ones he loves while Marina told little Juan to prepare for a wonderful life, living large and being free. And to value how loving and supportive her parents are. Before Venedita told a grumpy looking Borja to learn from the negative moments, embrace the positive and be herself.

Ultimately Venedita took out her second win of the season and earned her place in the finale, before Sharonne learnt that her fears were unfounded as she was sent through to the finale while Estrella and Marina lip synced for the final slot. Or so they thought, as after they both killed the lip sync to J-Lo’s El Anillo, Supremme had no other choice than to put them both through to the final, giving España their first top four. Well, not until after a little fake-out that poor Estrella was actually eliminated, which was awkward because upon hearing Marina was making it to the finale, I quickly whipped up some comfort for Estrella.

Despite giddily dancing off stage on the way to compete for the crown, I yanked Estrella aside and explained that we new vibe is to celebrate some finalists prior to the finale to avoid wading through more non-eliminations. Since, you know, Ru traumatised me with Season 14. Since All Winners is getting the reverse alphabetical order, I’ve opted to flip back to alphabetical order which could be problematic, since I am confident the crown is between Sharonne and Estrella. And when she heard that explanation, she was thrilled to embrace the celebration and split some Estrella Garlixtravagaanza.

There is nothing better than a garlic naan. Well, aside from spinach and cheese, but if they are excluded, garlic is where it’s at. Packing a punch, these little babies are the perfect pairing for a curry, or just snacking on when you’re in need. Because, carbs.

Enjoy!

Estrella Garlixtravagaanza
Serves: 4-8.

Ingredients
7g dry yeast
1 tbsp raw caster sugar
2 cup flour, plus more for rolling
6 cloves of garlic, minced
1 tbsp olive oil
salt and pepper, to taste
3 tbsp butter, melted
1 tsp parsley, roughly chopped

Method
To make the dough, combine ½ cup of warm water in a jug with the sugar and yeast. Give a quick stir and leave to rest for about 10 minutes, or until foamy and smelling like a brewery.

Place the flour and half the garlic in a large bowl of a stand mixer, pour in the yeasty water, oil and a pinch of salt and pepper, and knead with a dough hook for five minutes, or until combined to make a smooth, elastic dough. Transfer to a large, oiled bowl and leave to prove for an hour, or until doubled in size.

Once the dough has proven itself, transfer the to a bench, punch back and split into 8 chunks.

Heat a small skillet over medium-high heat, roll out a chunk of dough and then sprinkle some water on the naan and place on the pan. Cook for a few minutes, flip and cook for a further couple of minutes. You want it to be golden and crisp but still soft on the edges. Remove from the pan and repeat the process.

Combine melted butter in a bowl with the remaining garlic and the parsley. Brush each naan generously with the garlic butter (which I forgot to do before taking photos, sorry) and then devour. Gloriously


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Lamb Yiroji Der Klee

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 2, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race España the dolls starred in three commercials to entice people to Spain. And while all the duos leaned heavily into the sexy-Spanish stereotype, Sethlas and Marina were sadly just one, horny note. Sharonne and Estrella meanwhile gave light and shade, while Juriji and Venedita were delightful bimbos. After receiving their critiques, Supremme asked everyone to name who they think should go home, which opened a can of worms, which exploded backstage as Juriji fought for Sethlas and Marina. Sadly for them, they should have focused on the lip sync as the duo landed in the bottom with Marina narrowly saving herself and sending Sethlas home. In tears.

Backstage Marina was feeling her oats to have survived the lip sync, treating the moment as a warning to all of her remaining sisters. Estrella led the dolls in praising Sethlas for being suchan inspiring kind doll, but that wasn’t enough to cut through the tension between Juriji and Marina who well and truly hate each other and had zero problem showing it. Sharonne and Estrella instead tried to distract everyone by congratulating themselves on yet another win and well, it is Sharonne’s crown to lose at this point, right?

The next day things were less tense between Marina and Juriji as the latter opened up about why she was upset that people said she should go home, because despite positive feedback the vibe is that her sisters don’t like her drag or value her. Marina pointed out that that isn’t what they meant and while Juriji apologised for unintentionally fanning the flames, Estrella called her arrogant and well, that was a pivot I wasn’t expecting.

Supremme dropped by, tragically without the zaddy Pit Crew for a little puppet mini challenge. Because everybody loves puppets! Or sticking their hand inside a glory hole, I don’t know. One by one the dolls picked their puppets with Venedita dragging up puppet Marina, Sharonne got Estrella, Juriji got Venedita, Marina got nemesis Juriji, leaving Estrella to play Sharonne and ugh, I love it. After madly beating their puppet mugs, Venedita took to the stage and while she definitely had Marina’s voice down, the jokes kinda went nowhere despite calling out her farts. Juriji had Venedita’s look down and was cute before Sharonne arrived and finally had us laughing as she read puppet Estrella for absolute filth. Estrella somehow absolutely bombed as Sharonne, going from bad, so-bad-its-good to just bad again. Oh and then Marina was shady but not great at bringing the jokes.

Obviously Sharonne took out victory as the only funny person in the challenge and as such, she won the power to set the order in this week’s maxi challenge, the roast! And not just any roast, roasting their Season 1 sisters Dovima, Pupi, Sagittaria, Killer Queen and victor, Carmen Farala. Aka the OG top five. 

The dolls took their seats to throw some cross-season shade before Sharonne paired the queen for a get to know you session. Sagittaria gave Venedita some shady things to pick on about her sisters, while Carmen advised Sharonne to go early in the set up to leave someone else to go first in case they bomb. Estrella meanwhile was thrilled to be getting so much advice from Pupi while Dovima and Marina just appeared to have a super zen vibe. Killer Queen meanwhile advised Juriji to contextualise the roast as a Christmas dinner and well, I am nervous for her.

Dia de élimination arrived with Sharonne finally setting the order, with Marina requesting first position – which is super brave – though ultimately, she was given last place instead. Wait, no, it was a joke – she is first! But damn, she was about to throw a tantrum if she wasn’t. Sharonne took out second, with Estrella going in third, Venedita asking for fourth, leaving Juriji to accept closing the show. 

With that out of the way, the dolls split up to beat their mugs, with Juriji opening up to Venedita about how her grandfather used to make cabinets with the queen once owning one. That meanwhile was an introduction to her close bond with her grandmother and how she was like a second mother to her and well, it was heartbreaking to hear that her grandmother passed away from COVID within 24 hours and that Juriji was carrying so much guilt for not having one final dinner with her. The positive however, is that this loss finally gave her the confidence to accept herself as she came out as trans and started the confirmation process. And ugh, I love her so much.

Supremme, Ana y los Javis were joined by Anabel Alonso on the panel as the top five arrived to read their first season counterparts for filth. Marina opened the show and while she started out slow, she quickly found her rhythm and brutally read everyone for filth and had the judges in hysterics. As expected Sharonne was solid and charming as hell, though probably would have benefitted from going first herself. Estrella meanwhile was all energy and even when her jokes fell flat, her charm carried her through. Venedita meanwhile tried her best but struggled to keep the momentum going before Juriji was cute though felt a little flat for the end of the show.

On the Spanish Heroines runway, Juriji stole the show as a crotchet queen in honour of her grandmother and ugh, I love it. Marina meanwhile honoured the fight of trans women and looked perfect doing it before Estrella honoured the power of female journalists and well, work, I love it! Sharonne meanwhile was a bright and sunny housewife in honour of her mother and ugh, again, it was glorious. Venedita closed the show looking perfect as she paid homage to unsung female artists throughout history and TBH, the dolls all knew what needed to be done.

Juriji opened up to the judges about her grandmother, with them loving everything about the look she served this week. Complete with Ana in tears. While they thought she was funny in the roast, they did worry she was too calm and came across as flat. Marina meanwhile received universal praise for both her runway and surprising them with her confidence – and brutality – during the roast. Estrella was once again beloved, though they wished she had more light and shade in the roast as it erred on the side of one, loud note. Sharonne too received universal praise, though almost is a victim of her own success because they always expect her to be good so she can’t really surprise them anymore. Oh and then Venedita’s roast was read for filth, though they admitted her runway was perfect.

Backstage Venedita immediately got comfortable before admitting she knows she is lip syncing. Talk turned to how strong everyone’s runways were this week and how the judges loved them showing their heart. Despite having such a perfect look, Juriji knew that she too would be lip syncing with Venedita, which is something Estrella agreed with.

Ultimately Marina’s surprise performance was enough to pip the comedy queens at the post and take out victory, while Venedita and Juriji landed in the bottom as expected. And while Juriji felt all the emotion of Fuego, she was no match for the fire of Venedita who was focused on making it through. She gave full burlesque fantasy and perfectly bounced off Juriji who served a wig reveal that would make Roxxxy Andrews proud. Sadly though, said reveal and flipping around the stage wasn’t enough to save herself as Venedita live to see another day and Juriji was tragically eliminated.

Backstage Juriji had the same zen vibe that she has carried through the entire competition as I pulled her in for a massive hug. On top of praising her for a job, very well done, I reminding her that I was so proud of her for being 100% her. A little bit kooky, very camp and absolutely delightful, she went through the competition doing her and appeared to be having a lot of fun doing it. Rightfully earning her not a crown, but a Lamb Yiroji Der Klee.

Yiros are one of the most comforting food, maybe because they are literally aggressively flavoured meat, punchy sauces and chips. I mean, what more could you want.

Enjoy!

Lamb Yiroji Der Klee
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
½ cup olive oil
8 garlic cloves, finely chopped
2 tsp chilli flakes
a handful of mint, roughly chopped
2 lemons, zested and juiced
salt and pepper, to taste
1kg lamb, cut into large chunks
1 batch Pita Andre Bread
1 batch Jud Beerza Battered Fries
1 cup Greek yoghurt
2 tbsp tahini
2 tomatoes, diced
1 cup salad leaf

Method
Combine the oil, 7 of the garlic cloves, chilli flakes, mint and half the lemon in a large bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Add the lamb, toss to coat and covering. Pop in the fridge and leave to marinate for five-six hours, or ideally, overnight.

Preheat the oven to 220C and line a baking sheet. Oh and make the Pita Andre Bread as per his instructions and get the Jud Beerza Battered Fries on.

Thread the lamb onto pairs of skewers and position on the baking sheet, leaving the meat elevated. Pop the lamb in the oven and leave to bake for 20 minutes or so, or until starting to char on the outside. Remove from the oven, push it off the skewers and roughly chop. Transfer to a bowl so it can baste in any leaking juices.

Combine the yoghurt, tahini and remaining garlic and lemon in a bowl. Season to taste.

To serve, smear the sauce on the pita bread, top with lamb, fries and some tomato and lettuce. Then devour, greedily.


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Drag Slidlas

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 2, Main, Party Food, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race España the dolls travelled time – not in the way we do it here, which is legit time travel which again, we invented – as they threw a little centuries ball. As they traversed the past, present and future of drag, most of the girls soared however none moreso than Drag Sethlas, who finally scored a well deserved win. Tragically as the rest of the girls were solid, aside from Estrella’s terrible designed 30th century look, Diamante landed in the bottom opposite her for not doing enough, rather than being a mess. Which tragically led to Estrella destroying the lip sync and sending Diamante home. Again, on a very solid week.

Backstage the dolls were delighted to see that Diamante had left them the antenna from her look, though Estrella did worry that maybe it would bring them bad luck. Which TBH, is not something she could really risk right now. The one thing they could all agree on was that they would miss her kind spirit. Oh and then Estrella pressed her titty on the mirror, which is important. Marina meanwhile told Estrella she was lucky to get the lip sync song she did, before they quickly swept any drama aside to congratulate Sethlas on finally jagging a well earned win.

The next day the queens were butching it up talking about football for some reason, before getting back to normal as they recapped their own ball. With everyone agreeing Estrella’s dumpster fire outfit belongs in a museum. Or to be burnt. Supremme dropped by before they could reach consensus, challenging them to a little itty-bitty mini challenge where they would get into quick drag, write a fighter introduction/poem and get into skydiving suits. And no, that is not something that is lost in translation, the dolls are just as confused as we are.

Given there was a giant gong between Supremme and zaddy pit crew, it should have been obvious that the dolls would be sumo wrestling. For an advantage in the upcoming Maxi Challenge, so you know the dolls were ready to battle. Somehow little Sethlas destroyed Venedita, Estrella quickly beat Sharonne before Marina eliminated Juriji. Tragically. In round two, Sethlas was quickly disposed of by Estrella before she then destroyed Marina. Earning herself the advantage of selecting who everyone would be partnered with in the upcoming Maxi Challenge, where the duos would film Spanish tourism ads. Obviously she selected to work with Sharonne before popping Juriji and Venedita together, leaving Sethlas and Marina to form the third duo.

Supremme departed and left the girls to prep their commercials with Estrella worried about being overshadowed by Sharonne’s talent, though was confident they would continue to work well together. Sethlas and Marina meanwhile looked enraged to be working together, though bless Marina, she focused on writing before they pivoted to shit talking Venedita and Juriji. Who as they predicted were planning to lean into being sexy bimbos and while Marina and Sethlas thought it would be a bad idea, you know they will turn it.

Sharonne and Estrella were first to make it to set with Estrella getting her face sandwiched by the Pit Crew’s butts, so win or lose, she won today. Sharonne then got topped and well, I don’t know if they had a plot but consider me on the next flight. Venedita and Juriji were so fun and stupid, AND had the Pit Crew fucking in their fake dunes, so again, I’m sold. Rounding out the shoots, Marina and Sethlas struggled. Badly. Though maybe because they had a lot less sex in it?

Dia de eliminacion arrived with Marina and Sethlas admitting that they would have preferred to work with someone else, while Sethlas shaded Estrella for taking the easy route of teaming up with frontrunner Sharonne. They split up to prep for the runway with Marina getting this week’s emotional moment, talking about how close she is with her mother and how she is struggling without her and her dad around for support in the competition.

Supremme, Ana y los Javis were joined by Ruth Lorenzo on the panel as the queens debuted their Raffaella Carra looks for the Night of 1000 Raffaellas runway. Estrella was a vision in red, peeking out of an umbrella and being an absolute delight. Venedita too chose a red look, giving disco diva glamour and ugh, it was perfection. Juriji was stunning in a simple white gown, complete wth shimmering boobs and a phone hidden in her crotch. Sharonne was a golden diva and looked stun-ning while Sethlas was a bronzed beauty in a sea of fabric. Oh and then Marina stole the show in a sequined, cabaret style look.

When it came to the commercials, Sharonne and Estrella were totally demented and showed off pit crew booty, so yeah, that is a win to me. Despite it making zero sense. Though bless their passion for the glory hole. Oh and the judges loved it and both of their runways. Sethlas and Marina’s ad was far more sexed than the taping led us to believe, and somehow, it made less sense than the first one. The judges meanwhile read it for being too filthy and not showing any light or shade. Marina’s runway was praised for playing into her strengths, while Sethlas was read for being too abstract in her approach. Venedita and Juriji’s ad was hilariously camp and culminated in seagulls shitting on them. So yeah, the judges lived for it and them. Particularly praising their chemistry, despite it being quite stereotypical. When it came to their runways, both where praised for looking absolutely stunning and doing Raffaella proud.

Supremme decided now would be the right time to make them all shady, asking who should go home tonight with Sharonne singling out Marina for a lack of personality. Estrella said that Sethlas should go home because of her shitty ad, while Marina said Juriji though couldn’t give a reason. Sethlas thought Juriji should go because she isn’t showing enough diversity, while Venedita and Juriji agreed Marina should go for her sub-par performance in the ad.

Backstage the dolls were well and truly feeling tense, while Sharonne tried to remind them that it wasn’t personal and they need to move on. While Estrella tried to make Sethlas feel better about saying her, she ended up saying that Juriji isn’t versatile which filled her with rage. When she got sassy with the girls, it was Sethlas’ turn to feel enraged as she cussed out Juriji for disrespecting her. Before Marina thankfully pointed out she is the one that was named the most and as such, they should chill out. Sadly it didn’t work as Sethlas continued to bitch about Juriji not being versatile and the judges not expecting the same from her, before they thankfully split up to freshen their mugs.

Ultimately Sharonne and Estrella both took out the win, while Juriji and Venedita were thankfully sent to safety leaving Sethlas and Marina to lip sync for their lives. Obviously, to one of Queen Raffaella’s songs, Que dolor. And while I was expecting Sethlas to absolutely demolish Marina, the latter absolutely slayed. Giving all the camp fun and fancy footwork the song required, embodying Rafaella while Sethlas was kinda just there and while she did give us a surprising glitter reveal near the end, it wasn’t enough to save herself as Marina stayed in the pocket and saved herself.

Despite being heartbroken to have missed out on the finale, Sethlas perked up when we were reunited backstage. You see, as a short man, I have an affinity with the Carina queens, given we always meet up at platform conventions. Which is where Sethlas and I first became friends as little fellas. As such, it was such an honour to be there for her in her lowest momentand reminding her how much of a star she is over a big ol’ batch of Drag Slidlas.

Rich, sticky barbecue pork, mised with the creaminess of the slaw and the tartness of the pickle work together perfectly to deliver a quick and easy snack, that also feels like you’ve put in a tonne of effort. Which, TBH, is important.

Enjoy!

Drag Slidlas
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
4 cups pulled pork
1 ½ cups apple cider vinegar
3 garlic cloves, smashed
1 red chilli
2 tbsp muscovado sugar
2 tbsp tomato paste
1 tbsp dijon mustard
2 tsp smoke essence
½ tsp kosher salt
½ tsp pepper
16 slider rolls
2 cups Benjamin Slaw
8 dill pickles, drained and sliced

Method
I’m going to assume you’ve got a favourite pulled pork recipe, or you’ve got some pre-prepped. That is for no other reason than me being lazy and not living for the fattiness of the pork. In any event, get the meat ready first and foremost.

While the meat is getting prepped, combine the vinegar, garlic, chilli, muscovado sugar, tomato paste, dijon mustard, smoking essence, salt and pepper in a small saucepan and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer for five minutes. Remove from the heat and pout over the warm pulled pork.

To assemble your sliders, cut all the buns in half and spoon some slaw on the bottoms of each. Top with a couple of slices of pickle, followed bu the pulled pork before devouring, greedily. You could also add some swiss cheese if you want some cheese in the mix, but these are so tasty, you honestly don’t need to worry.



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