Condiment

Dwight Moorshroom Gravy

Condiment, Gravy, Sauce, Survivor, Survivor 43, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor the three tribes came together for not the merge, but the now traditional non-merge-but-earn-your-place-in-the-real-one-a-palooza. Now, thankfully, gloriously hourglass free. After Elie, Owen and Sami were left vulnerable, the Baka’s worked overtime to put the target on Cassidy or James. Though obviously told them to target Cody. Sadly as hard as they worked to get rid of anyone else, Gabler decided to air their dirty laundry at the merge feast and outed Elie for going through his bag earlier in the season (when it was in fact Jeanine). And while she valiantly kicked it into overdrive to save herself, it was all it took to unite the rest of the group against Elie and boot her from the game as the final pre-merger.

Tragically, for my drama loving heart.

We returned to camp where the Gaia Tribe were reeling from what happened at tribal council, specifically Jeanine who was ready to rise from the ashes despite being left out. Noelle pulled her aside and assured her that despite what happened to her closest ally, she is still safe and if her experience with being left out of the Justine vote is anything to go by, it may actually help things. As such Jeanine went person to person, assuring them that there are no hard feelings and she is glad to lose her partner. Though in private, she still kinda just wanted to just cry.

The next day everyone ventured down to the beach for sunrise where Owen and Dwight quietly strategised about how to proceed, with Owen admitting he just doesn’t see himself working with Gabler any more given he is too unpredictable. Speaking of Gabler, he was busy talking to Cody about how chill he feels now that Elie is gone. He explained to us that he planned to continue playing like an ali-gabler. Aka duck back under water to chill until he next needs to strike.

Owen and Dwight continued their double act, collecting treemail which they thought was for art supplies to paint the tribe flag. Instead they learnt that the tribe would need to split into pairs for the upcoming challenge. And how those pairs were formed is completely up to them. While everyone obviously was desperate to get Ryan or Cody though, nobody outright said it and instead they decided to draw rocks.

We quickly pivoted to said epic challenge where Jeffrey confirmed it was for immunity and explained that the pairs would only be pairs for the first two stages of the challenge and after that, it was everyone for themselves. In the first stage, the pairs would race through a tangled net tube before digging up planks and a flag, with the first four back to their mat moving on. For stage two, they would race up a cargo net and cross a rope bridge and race to a mat with the last two pairs moving forward to the final stage, where they would each have to hold a bucket containing 25% of their starting weight. Last one holding the bucket jagging immunity.

Ryan and James were first through their tube followed by Karla and Cassidy. After Ryan and James moved on to the final round, Owen and Gabler and Cody and Dwight joined them, while Karla and Cassidy secured their spot in the next round with the other duos making it to the end as Noelle and Sami, and Jesse and Jeanine were eliminated without even exiting the tube. Before moving on to a new round, Probst gave a speech praising how hard Noelle fought in the challenge and while she was down on herself, seeing Sami and the rest of the tribe rally around her was heartwarming.

We then did a hard pivot as Probst set the second round in motion as Dwight and Cody blitzed through the competition and secured their place in the final round before Owen and Gabler narrowly joined them as the Coco duos dropped as they tried to rush to the finish. The four men took their place holding the buckets for the final round. Almost instantly Dwight dropped out as the other trio shared what was inspiring them before Owen lost concentration and dropped his bucket. Oh and then after 37 minutes of Gabler dedicating minutes to random people – which was far sweeter than I just made it sound – Cody put us out of our misery as he dropped his bucket and handed immunity to Gabler.

Back at camp Gabler opened up how much the veteran community means to him while the rest of the tribe washed the mud of themselves. In the water everyone started scrambling with the Baka and Vesi crew looking to stick together to get rid of James or Ryan. That is until James, Dwight, Owen and Sami went to get water and found a clue in the well, telling them an advantage was hidden under the shelter. While James assured them he wouldn’t take it until after tribal council, he obviously made a beeline for it. Dwight then went and looped Noelle in, who in turn went and told everyone about the advantage, rallying the troops against James.

Jesse and Karla meanwhile were spooked by how quickly Noelle was able to get everyone on side and as such, wanted to weaken her. When Jesse approached Cody about getting rid of Noelle, Cody suggested that getting rid of Dwight would be the better option, given Dwight is better at challenges and has always been sketchy to him. James meanwhile learnt that he had found the Knowledge Is Power advantage, fresh from Geo’s pocket. And rather than keep things quiet, he thought it could help build trust with people and as such, told his potential allies. Who were immediately spooked and started trading out idols and advantages so that he couldn’t snatch them. Jeanine gave her idol to Dwight, Owen scored Noelle’s extra vote and Jesse ended up in possession of Cody’s idol. Meaning everyone was nervous and mildly confused by the end of the day.

At tribal council Karla spoke about how reflective the immunity challenge was of the game, while Jesse felt like today truly levelled up the competition. Dwight spoke about how everyone has kicked in to playing their own game while Noelle felt like they needed a steady stream of plans to make sure they and their allies survive. James spoke about how advantages are only useful when played correctly and as such, people needed to spend less time focussing on them and, instead, just play the game. Cody spoke about surfing at Probst’s request, while most people admitted they were feeling confident they were on the right side of the numbers. Except for Sami who knew that there was always a risk and as such, they just needed to all play balls to the wall. Basically.

With that the tribe voted and despite a solid 7 out of 10 he was sure he was on the right side of the numbers, Dwight was shocked to be voted out of the game. With Jeanine’s idol in his pocket, no less! Despite being crushingly blindsided as the final pre-juror, Dwight was in pretty good form and took his boot like an absolute champion. While he played a low-key game – at least in the edit, given he was on a tribe with Cody – it was clear he was a strong contender, having relationships across all the OG tribes and dare I say it, should he had survived the vote, had what it takes to go all the way. And given that was a super upbeat and nice assessment from me, he was feeling pretty happy with himself and as such, gladly drank a jug of Dwight Moorshroom Gravy to toast his success.

The earthy nuttiness of the mushroom and the punch of wine work perfectly with the cream to form a warm, soulful gravy. Pop it with chicken, steak or maybe even something coming up later this season, and you’re alway left with the same result. An empty plate and a happy belly.

Enjoy!

Dwight Moorshroom Gravy
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
extra virgin olive oil
500g mushrooms, sliced
3 garlic cloves, minced
2 sprigs fresh thyme
½ cup white wine
⅔ cup cream
salt and pepper, to taste
¼ cup fresh parsley, roughly chopped

Method
Pop a lug of olive oil in a large skillet over high heat and saute for five minutes or until golden, soft and the liquid has reabsorbed. Add the garlic and thyme and cook for a further couple of minutes.

Pour in the wine and leave to bubble up, cooking till it’s almost all absorbed before stirring in the cream. Leave to bubble for a couple of minutes until it slightly thickens before seasoning to taste, alongside the parsley.

Then devour, either pour onto a protein or into a glass. No judgement.


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Za’tarlet

RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK 4, Spice Mix, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race UK twelve new queens arrived and promptly paid tribute to the Spiceys’ iconic entrance at the London Olympics in a photoshoot Mini Challenge. Which Peppa promptly won, as she is an icon, despite the fact the premiere Geri Halliwell impersonator was in the building. For the Maxi Challenge, the dolls were tasked with stomping too runways in honour of the BBC and their hometown. Poor Copper, Dakota and Just May struggled, while Black Peppa slayed literally everything she did and took out the first win of the season. And more importantly demolished Danny Beard to be the Grand Supreme Blobby. Tragically it just wasn’t Just May’s week, as while she gave a solid lip sync, Dakota’s was full of fire and saved herself, leaving May to become the Gothy of the season.

Backstage the dolls were feeling the usual shock that the competition is well and truly on. Dakota opened up about the shock that it wasn’t Copper in the bottom with her while Starlet was just grateful she learnt who Geri Halliwell was, given nobody bothered to teach her in her five years in the UK. The dolls sat down for a little kiki, with Copper ready to redeem herself and prove her stint in the bottom was a one off while Peppa was thrilled to stamp her mark on the competition. Pixie meanwhile was just happy she broke the Brighton curse. And Sminty’s insides were rearranged, which is important if you ask me.

The next day the girls were feeling far more hopeful and upbeat, with Danny in particular ready for the challenge ahead. Starlet meanwhile shadily speculated over who would be the next to go before Pixie opted to focus on good things, praising Peppa for absolutely slaying. Danny pointed out the fashion queens did well last week, begging the question, how will they go with the next challenge? Which summoned Ru faster than saying Bloody Mary in a mirror, where he announced the arrival of one of the earliest girl groups challenge of all time. This year, they would split into two bands for a headlining performance at Yass-tonberry Festival with their new singles, Come Alive. Which had Baby ready to slay, given this is right in her wheelhouse.

As the winner of last week’s challenge and lip sync respectively, Peppa and Dakota were tasked with choosing their groups with Peppa snatching Baby, Sminty, Jonbers and Starlet while Dakota opted for Danny, Le Fil, Cheddar and Pixie, leaving Copper as the last one standing. And while she was smarting, she had the last laugh by getting to pick which team she sided with, selecting team Dakota. Or the winning team as she told their rivals, while Peppa was just glad to avoid having her.

The bands split up to listen to the songs, with team Peppa kiki-ing about being happy to avoid landing on team Dakota. Which totally means they are going to bomb, right? Particularly since they went with the name Triple Threat. Despite their being five of them. Pixie meanwhile suggested Team Dakota should be Shakespeare’s Fister while Danny thankfully suggested the greatest name of all time, Queens of the Bone Age instead. Pixie opened up about having a girl group pedigree, though was hopeful she would do better than bandmate Tia Kofi, who landed in the bottom on her season. Danny described their aesthetic like a band that broke up, had kids and is returning to the festival for a comeback. While Triple Threat were super confident, given Baby has a doctorate in songwriting. And while yeah, she slayed, will she be the only one on her team?

Ru made her ru-turn with songwriting icon Cathy Dennis for a bit of a masterclass, with Baby giddy to meet such a talent and likened her own writing as FKA Twigs inspired. Peppa meanwhile had Cathy in hysterics, Starlet was nervous about her shy personality, Jonbers’ lyrics were a bit bland – but what about the FAMINE?! Queens of the Bone Age traded out, with Dakota using her time in the bottom to give herself a phoenix verse, Cheddar was ready to melt, Danny dropped some F-bombs in front of Cathy while Pixie was ready to Famke Jansen her way to choking people. Oh and on Ru’s exit, he announced FKA Twigs would be this week’s guest judge which instantly blew Baby’s mind.

Queens of the Bone Age were first to record their track with Leland and Freddy, where Dakota was lacking the confidence while Le Fil was dripping in it. Speaking of dripping, Cheddar wasn’t dripping after getting rid of the melting cheese line, though damn can she sing. Copper was energetic and full of joy, Danny was a powerhouse – despite the swears – and Pixie was an absolute hilarious delight. The five members of Triple Threat traded in where Baby slayed from start to finish while Starlet was stuck in her head and Sminty gave us all of the attitude. Peppa too was perfection – duh – before Jonbers just bombed. Oh so badly. Which just breaks my damn heart, because Jonbers is a perfect delight.

When it came to learning the choreography, Dakota quickly put Le Fil in charge of Queens of the Bone Age’s performance. And well, she was born to choreograph, working around people’s weaknesses and giving them enough to make it look stunning. Despite the fact Danny was terrified about each and every moment. Thankfully though, her sisters were confident for her. And well, maybe this is RuPaul’s Best Friend’s Race after all. Triple Threat meanwhile were giving all the confidence, well, three of them were, as Starlet and Sminty struggled to get it down.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls feeling all the oats as they split up to talk through their outfits. Bone Age locked in lime green before Dakota opened up to Sminty about how close she is to her twin and how grateful she is to have that relationship. Particularly since they were both bullied agressively at school and came out as queer together before her sibling came out as non-binary and her as trans. Despite having a stereotypically cockney father, she admitted she feels all the love from her parents, despite the initial difficulty as she came into her tran-ness. And ugh, you know I’m crying. 

On the Mainstage FKA – or is it Twigs – took her place next to Ru, Michelle and Graham as The Triple Threats kicked off the show with their debut performance of Come Alive. And oh my God, Baby was perfection from start to finish, as was Peppa. Sadly Starlet just felt lost the entire time and Jonbers was trapped in her head. Though Sminty was having fun, which was nice to see! Well, until she got backstage and brokedown about messing up some of the moves, though Baby assured her that while she was annoyed by it – lol – she will move on. When it came to the Queens of the Bone Age however, each and everyone of them knocked it out of the park, they were in the pocket from start to finish, were in sync and felt like one cohesive unit.

While backstage Baby continued to fume and was ready to tell her sisters how disappointed in them she is.

Starlet kicked off the Neon Nights runway looking like a fluffy version of Peppa’s Blobby from last week. Jonbers was a sexy neon painter, Baby was a feathered neon delight – of a feather go’a if you ask my new bestie, FKA – Sminty was a perfect showgirl jellyfish, despite thinking she looked alien and Peppa was a glorious neon yellow delight, serving ALL THE DRAMA. Again, crown her. Copper was a Shakespearean delight does new wave, while Danny was a genuine alien invasion, though coming bubbles. Cheddar then brought out hallucinogenic mushrooms delight – and oh so sexy – Dakota gave Gaga in House of Gucci, skiing at a Pokemon resort, while Le Fil was sexy in honour of Naomi Campbell collecting litter and Pixie was a bright, wet delight. 

Obviously the Queens of the Bone Age took out victory – meaning 7 of the 11 dolls have a win – before they were sent backstage to untuck before the judges read Starlet for absolute filth given she looked so nervous. SO nervous. And while she looked stunning on the runway, she needed to give more in the performance if she wanted to make it to the end. Jonbers was praised for her energy, though read for going Toto with too many syllables in her lyrics. Though they loved her runway. Baby received universal praise for each and every moment this week, though was read for standing out compared to her sisters. Ru then told Twigs how big of a fan she is, leading to some effusive praise from her hero and well, it was lovely. Sminty was read for her struggles on stage, despite the judges loving her confidence and vibe. While Michelle wanted a new silhouette. Oh and then Peppa received all the praise yet again.

Because. She. Is. Perfect.

Backstage the victors were absolutely bouncing off the walls, shocked to have taken out victory but so proud of how hard they worked. Pixie in particular was thrilled to kill it, despite the pressure she put on herself. The bottoms joined them and the mood quickly turned tense, as Peppa and Baby were disappointed to be in the bottom despite slaying. The remaining trio however were bricking it, with Jonbers ready to lip sync after her choke – which breaks my heart – while Sminty was sure it would be her joining Starlet in the bottom. Sminty was worried about serving a new silhouette, given she doesn’t want to serve old maiden, which obviously annoyed Cheddar who wanted her to realise there are more styles than sexy. But whatever. While Starlet was just disappointed that Michelle thought she was uncomfortable. Given she was having fun.

Ultimately it was Sminty that joined Baby and Peppa by being sent to safety, leaving Starlet and Jonbers to lip sync for their lives to Sugababe’s Cathy Dennis penned hit About You Now. And from start to finish, it was the Jonbers show as she served all the emotion and flipped around the stage. While it is Starlet’s vibe to serve muted, she hit every lyric and stayed true to herself. But yeah, Jonbers rightly earned her safety as Starlet sashayed away.

Backstage Starlet asssured me she was feeling ok about her elimination, like Michelle before me, I was honestly feeling like she was disappointed. Or annoyed. I pulled her in for a hug anyway and assured her that despite a short run, she showed off some stunning looks and as such, she will always have a place in my heart. Which, combined with a fierce punch of Za’tarlet, was enough to cheer her up.

Za’atar is one of the best things to add to a dish if you want a quick punch of flavour. Not every dish, obviously – this isn’t my dad and coriander in the ‘90s – but when it is right, it is right. Herby, fresh and packing a zing, it makes lamb in particular sing.

Enjoy!

Za’tarlet
Makes: ½ cup.

Ingredients
1 tbsp​ roasted sesame seeds
¼ cup ground sumac
2 tbsp dried thyme
2 tbsp dried marjoram
2 tbsp dried oregano
1 tsp kosher salt
1 tsp toasted groud cumin
½ tsp chilli

Method
Pop everything in a jar. Shake. Use, or like we did, shot like you’re Jaida and her Tajin.


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Yuraita Guaii

Condiment, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 2, Sauce, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race Down Under the dolls played the Snatch Game and thankfully raised the low bar – outside Anita and Etcetera, obvi – from last season that even famed nice person Bindi Irwin had to rubbish. Continuing in the tradition of celebrated producer Alexis Michelle and Queen of All Queens Jinkx, Hannah slayed with a member of the Garland-Minneli clan. And while Yuri and Spankie were just as good, Minnie was far and away the weakest as Ellen despite the fact she would have killed as her back-up, Jeanne Little. Ultimately Hannah won, while Bev narrowly saved herself after a painfully boring Snatch Game, sending the iconic Minnie home.

Backstage the mood was sombre outside of Bev, who was thrilled to take the title of lip sync assassin after eliminating a second icon. They then discovered that Minnie’s exit message thanked Spankie, Yuri and Kween for being so kind, which obviously pissed off the dolls she called bitches. Essentially. Thankfully Hannah pivoted and said she would cry into her tears, while Spankie was delighted that Minnie did one final pot stir. Talk turned to their track records, where everyone noticed only Bev and Kween were without wins, and while everyone seemingly knew Kween’s victory was inevitable, Bev was also ready to prove herself despite everyone sleeping on her.

The next day Yuri was ready to have fun and be silly, while Beverly reiterated that she is here to prove herself. And did a very long monologue about how hard she will fight. Which led to everyone taking micro-naps, while Yuri summed things up simply by pointing out that Bev had been in the bottom the most and well, that’s just that. Before anyone could pick their jaws up from the floor, Ru dropped by to open the library – or libo, I assume – for the reading challenge. Bev kicked things off very sexual, until Kween read her as not interested. And I love every moment of it. Yuri was so silly and charming, despite hating every moment of it. Molly was hit and miss, but at least it was funny. Kween then arrived and destroyed literally everyone and everything and while I normally just focus on her looks, she is just so fucking good. Spankie did some accurate word association before Hannah closed the show very strongly. But yeah, Kween was the only person that could have won that – she was amazing.

Oh and for this week’s Maxi Challenge, the dolls would be keeping the shade alive as they diss their bandmates on their verses on the new song Bosom Buddies. Then record the song with Michelle before performing them on the mainstage. And well, Bev was ready to shine. Ru then gave them the chance to choose their own groups, with Kween quickly grabbing Hannah and Spankie and well, just like that, it was decided. Leaving the rest as the leftover group. But given Bev was feeling like the dancing diva of Brisbane, she was ready to drag them over the line. Kween, Hannah and Spankie locked in the name BAB’Z – or Bad Ass Bitchez – living for the song, while over with the other dolls, Molly and Bev were worried about how many words Yuri was hoping to spit while dropping the beats.

As BAB’Z were living their best lives, being silly and camp and building their chemistry, Beverly whipped Molly and Yuri into shape learning the choreo. And by choreo, Molly felt like it was a bit of a show choir, asHannah tried to hide her giggles from the other side of the room. While Kween and Spankie just lived for their general dynamic. When Bev, Molly and Yuri asked the other girls to do their choreo live in front of everyone, it led to a delightful blow-up between Kween and Bev as they both triggered each other and went to 1000 with everyone else kinda unsure how it escalated to that point.

BAB’Z were up first to record with Michelle with Hannah delighting as Michelle read her via lyrics, though ultimately slayed. Spankie meanwhile has some damn pipes and nailed every note, while Kween was perfect from start to finish as she channelled that rage from her fight with Bev. The Hung Divas – which is an iconic name, TBH – traded out with Bev giving delightfully ocker rap, with not much sass according to Michelle. Yuri meanwhile was on the struggle bus from start to finish but since I love her, it was charming. And then Molly gave Mr. G vibes as she nailed it in one take only. Much to Bev and Yuri’s nerves.

We cut to rehearsal where Kween was ready to slay as she whipped BAB’Z into shape, giving charm and flips and kicks. And well, when she shared that she was galvanised, happy and ready to finally shine in the competition, I wanted to cry tears of joy. On the flipside, watching Yuri struggle in The Hung Divas’ rehearsal made me sad because I love her. While Bev grew more and more desperate about trying to nail the choreo.

Elimination Day arrived with Bev confronting Kween about their drama the day before, with her explaining that their group felt like they were the unwanted outcasts and she was trying to playfully challenge them. In turn Kween called her out for projecting on her and whispering and taking things a little too seriously. Eventually though, they both apologised and were ready to move on. As they split up to beat their mugs, Kween started to spiral, stressed about the drama and worried about her issues with Bev while Spankie tried to encourage her to breathe and push it aside so she could star. And while she assured us that she will do what needs to be done, given it is what she always does, I am still heartbroken to see her sad at a time when she is clearly poised to shine.

And shine she did, as BAB’Z opened the show and absolutely slayed. They felt like a cohesive girl group, they all shon and sold their personalities. They were camp, they were funny and well, did what needed to be done. When it came to The Hung Divas they all gave killer bright looks and their song was super fun, despite Yuri clearly not being the strongest of dancers. But when she is clearly having fun, does that matter? Given I love Yuri, I vote no.

On the Belts, Buckles and Chains runway, Kween opened the show in a sexy belted, bondage outfit in honour of Mean Girls and her niece. In all the right ways. Spankie gave a sexy, slutty Barbie and well, I love it despite knowing Michelle will hate the lack of pants and its bagginess. Hannah was gothic and sexy, serving Gaultier realness. Bev meanwhile gave Britney’s denim outfit, after dark, Yuri was perfection as a chained snake while Molly closed the show giving yellow and black rocker madam, but make it Elvira.

The judges lived for everything Kween served this week, with Rhys particularly loving the fact she finally owned herself and her place in the competition. Spankie was read for an ill fitting look, though given Rhys and Ru felt it was on brand, they loved it as much as her performance on the girl group. And well, Hannah received universal praise for everything she did this week too. Even charming as she explained her low-rent lyrics. Bev received wall to wall praise much to her delight, while Yuri was read for struggling with her inner sabo-teur, though the judges explained that they love her. While Molly was praised for nailing the runway and rehearsal, despite there being some stumbles in the main performance.

Backstage the dolls were feeling a little confused about who would be in the bottom, given they all received wonderful critiques. Though Molly and Yuri were fairly sure they would be the ones lip syncing. While Bev suggested that maybe they would all be saved for doing well, which is nice, despite Yuri just wanting to feel her feels. The ring of a phone interrupted them as Sophie Monk dialled in – not Courtney Act, FYI – to send her love and give them a pep talk and well, despite myself, I can’t help but love that icon with all my damn heart.

#JusticeForBardot.

Ultimately BAB’Z were deemed the winners of this week’s challenge while Bev was sent to safety alongside them, leaving Yuri and Molly to lip sync for their lives to Chains by mother tucking Tina Arena. And while it was tragically a remix, both the dolls served the hell out of the song, giving emotion, camp and hitting every damn lyric. But when the song kicked it into the epic Tina money-notes, it became Molly’s show as she gave us everything. And then some. Which tragically cost my love Yuri her place, as she exited the competition.

She was crying, the dolls were crying, I was crying and then she gave us iconic words to live by, live fast, eat arse. Which honestly, is now my motto. 

Backstage I managed to spot Yuri enter the Werk Room through my tears and immediately pulled her in for a massive hug. There was something just so lovable about Yuri, as she exudes joy and fun throughout the competition. Kinda like a young, kiwi Katya? No matter what it is that made me get a stan card, Yuri now has a fan that will fight anyone that talks shit about her. And while she may have been nervous about my energy, she appreciated the sentiment as I ranted about how robbed she was before dishing up a big bowl of Yuraita Guaii.

While paneer is great, as are all curries, raita is truly the heart and soul of any and all visits to an Indian restaurant. Poppodum too dry? Raita. Curry too hot? Raita. Need something in your mouth? Raita. Spicy, creamy and oh so fresh, it is, to me, perfect.

Enjoy!

Yuraita Guaii
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 ½ cups Greek yoghurt
1 garlic clove, minced
1 tsp ginger, minced
2 tbsp coriander, roughly chopped
2 tbsp mint, roughly chopped
1 lime, zested and juiced
½ tsp garam masala
1 lebanese cucumber, seeded and diced
1 tomato, diced
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Pop everything in a bowl. Stir. Serve. Devour, obvi.


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Salsanté Verde Villiers

Condiment, Dip, Sauce, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Return of the Outcasts, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Survivor South Africa the tribes were gagged to learn they had merged while at tribal council. And not just that, they had also been gifted a new and improved camp. Despite being one big happy family, the internal battles of OG Masu continued to dominate the new tribe as Toni rallied an army to counter the early power of the Breakfast Club. Which for the record didn’t even survive a tribal council given they booted Chappies first. After Phil peed his way to individual immunity, both sides tried to rally the numbers with Marian, Meryl and Steffi coming out on top as Toni was booted and anointed as the second most important placing behind a Fourth Place Robbed Goddess, the Queen of the Jury.

Back at camp Tejan was a little embarrassed to have burnt his idol, admitting he was completely shocked by the fact Toni was the ultimate target. Steffi meanwhile felt she had no other choice but to vote out Toni, given her earlier alliances were clearly the best path forward.

The next day the tribe were well and truly drained, with Tejan in particular feeling like his days were numbered. Meryl pulled him aside to check in and see why they are no longer getting along. He told her that Steffi was the one that was feeding information to him and Toni and while it is true, she did not believe him for a second. Marian and Shane meanwhile caught up with Marian quickly pushing for Dante to be the next one out, given he is too close to Felix and Toni has already pledged her vote for him to win. She then caught up with Phil and Meryl, with both of the women trying to avoid being the first person to float Dante’s name. Though they eventually all agreed that he needs to go. Particularly because Meryl is exhausted by babysitting his mood swings.

After Meryl disappeared, Marian locked in her alliance with Phil. Despite the fact neither of them really know if they can trust each other. Meryl found Dante by the well with the latter quickly floating Dino as their next target, given everyone is slowly building their trust with him and he is concerned that everyone’s interests are growing more and more individual, rather than supporting his.

The tribe reconvened with Nico for the latest immunity challenge where they would have to race to collect three keys from the top of the dunes, then use said keys to unlock three chests to release puzzle pieces and then solve a puzzle. Oh and in addition to immunity, the victor would get to smash some Chinese takeout. Obviously Dante got out to an early lead before Tejan overtook him, while Steffi and Dino nipped at their heels. Tejan and Dante started working on their puzzles as everyone slowly started to join them. Out of nowhere, Meryl flew through her puzzle and jagged herself individual immunity before anyone even realised she had made it to the end.

She broke down, proud of winning immunity on Day 22, which is when she was voted out on her first season. Oh and it’s also her son’s birthday. Nico being messy took the kind moment and gave her the chance to pick three people to join her at reward with her smartly taking everyone that didn’t get to eat at the Merge Feast, who conveniently, were also the three people she felt like she needed to talk to about the upcoming tribal council.

Back at camp, Meryl discovered she had the choice to either smash the Chinese food or to take blankets for all the tribe. Ultimately choosing to take blankets, meaning everyone also got a fortune cookie. Meryl and Steffi floated who they think should be the next to go, suggesting Dante and Tejan. While Meryl assured them that she only voted against Toni for revenge and she invited them on reward to apologise to them and build trust. Meanwhile by the shelter, Dante and Shane caught up with Tejan about the fact his alliance clearly isn’t looking out for him given he wasn’t told about anything at the last vote. Though given Dante was super forceful about it, Shane was fairly confident that there was no way they were getting Tejan across the line.

Meryl and Co. returned from reward with the blankets, sharing that they gave up the chance for food for them. And when the response was a resounding meh, she instantly regretted her decision. Meryl then read the note about the fortune cookies, with Dino sure that the cookies lead to a trip to the Outpost. Which was 100% true, with Meryl hilariously getting it, meaning she is very likely to jag herself another advantage. Jealous of her swag, Marian whispered to Phil about Meryl’s growing power and suggested that they need to blindside her sooner rather than later. Steffi, Dante and Shane caught up on the beach with Steffi pretending she thought everyone was locked in on the easy Dino vote. And while she sold it, Dante was still nervous about whether he could trust what everyone was saying and that it wouldn’t be a surprise Tejan vote instead.

The next morning Dante quadrupled down on his focus to get rid of Dino while Shane was concerned that Tejan had disappeared to go hunting for an idol. Felix meanwhile was stuck in the middle of both of his alliances and as such, approached Meryl about identifying a third option. Which is all well and good if she didn’t see it as him pushing his own agenda. Steffi and Marian caught up with Meryl to talk about the vote, with Steffi well and truly ready to get rid of Dante. Marian meanwhile quietly grew more nervous about Meryl’s trip to the Outpost. Steffi caught up with Dino to talk about the upcoming vote, assuring him that the plan is to get rid of Dante, while he grew more and more nervous about the fact he could be the one getting played.

Meryl finally arrived at the Outpost where she discovered that if she was willing to give up her vote at the upcoming tribal council, she would get a 50:50 coin. Which duh, you know she is willing to add to her haul.

Back at camp Steffi had turned her attention to Shane, talking about getting rid of Dante next, while he was worried about upsetting Dante, despite him being a massive threat to his own game. Shane then caught up with Tejan, who was nervous about Shane just being on the wrong page about the Dante vote. Dino and Phil were also busy catching up, worried about the Dante vote being a smokescreen and that everyone is just planning to blindside them. And while Phil was confident he was safe, there was a nagging pit in his gut about Dino’s safety.

Meryl returned from the Outpost and caught everyone up on her story, telling them she had two bags to choose from and that she clearly chose the wrong one which led to her losing her vote at tribal council. Oh and Dante whispered to Marian about the fact nobody believed him about Rob running things on his original season, which cost him the game and handed Rob victory, which is why he is so fixated on getting rid of Dino.

At tribal council Tejan spoke about the fact the tribe is being led by a controlling alliance and that those that aren’t in charge need to realise that goats are not going to be earning the win this season. He then suggested the women are in charge, with Meryl pointing out that they are also horribly outnumbered, and that Tejan is clearly just scrambling. Tejan then outed Steffi for backstabbing Toni and lying to her about Dante and Meryl getting votes. This made Dante nervous, who got up and started whispering to people, with Marian telling Tejan to stop being a hypocrite while also assuring Dante he was safe and to stick to the plan. Marian and Tejan then started fighting, which made her far more likely to turn on him while Dante was concerned that anything could happen, while Steffi assured everyone that they should hold firm.

With that the tribe voted and Dante was gagged to be blindsided from the game and from my perspective, I was heartbroken to have lost our final speedo zaddy of the season. Given we’ve been down this path before, Dante knew to follow the sound of my tears to Ponderosa, where I pulled him in for a massive hug and told him how proud of him I was this season. But also, that I really loved his speedo and that I think he should design a line. And while he was sceptical, he was happy to drown his sorrows with a vat of Salsanté Verde Villiers.

You should know by now that while most people have their condiments on something, around here, we are fast and loose with the rules. And when they pack as much of a punch as this, why wouldn’t you shot it. I mean, Jaida has Tajin, let me have this, ok?

Enjoy!

Salsanté Verde Villiers
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
5 garlic cloves 
2 handfuls flat-leaf parsley 
1 handful fresh basil 
1 handful fresh mint 
⅓ cup capers 
¼ cup gherkins
1 tbsp Dijon mustard 
3 tbsp red wine vinegar 
½ cup extra virgin olive oil
salt and pepper

Method
Pop everything in a blender or food processor and blitz until combined with only smaller chunks remaining.

Season to taste before devouring, either in shot form, or on a perfectly cooked steak. Your choice!


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Schmearus Holmes

Breakfast, Condiment, Snack, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Return of the Outcasts, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor South Africa with Tania gone, the target on Pinty’s back was briefly reduced. Though given she continued to upset people on her tribe, it quickly grew back bigger than ever. After Yontau lost another immunity challenge, it looked like the tribe were going to send her from the game. That is until Phil and Dino hatched a plan to blindside Tevin from the game for being too powerful. Oh and to make Pinty feel super loyal to them. They went person to person until they had enough numbers, leaving Seamus, Shona and Killarney on the outs as Tevin exited the game.

The next day Seamus was disappointed to find himself on the outs with his tribe, despite not really caring that his buddy Tevin left. To try and fix things, he approached Dino to clear the air and see why he was left out. Dino admitted to us that he never knew where he stood with Seamus, though he apologised to him and said they can work together moving forward. Phil meanwhile was thrilled by how everything went down, glad to have built trust with a majority AND have Pinty’s undying loyalty. Shona meanwhile was also feeling disappointed, worried that once again her tribe was underestimating her. Though she assured us it would be at their peril. And well, werk Queen Shona.

Over at Masu Dante was busy removing the symbols from the trees as they all anticipated a swap. He then moved over to Toni and assured her that he is always willing to work with her and come swap, he wants her to know he can be trusted.

The tribes met up with Nico for the next reward challenge where they were gagged to remain on their OG tribes. Anyway, one person would sit in a crate and be wheeled and carried through an obstacle course by the rest of the tribe before solving a puzzle at the end. First tribe to finish getting to spin a wheel to decide their reward. Despite a slower start, Dino’s untying – with burnt hands, no less – got Yontau out to an early lead. Finishing in a blow-out, despite a late-breaking burst from Meryl on Masu, as once again they struggled to work as a team. After spinning the wheel Yontau were less than thrilled to discover they won a bag of lentils. They were thrilled, however, to get the chance to invite two people from Masu to join them, who will also get a chance to spin the wheel. And just like that, Toni and Tejan locked in mac and cheese for them. Well Toni, but Tejan got to go for the trip too so let’s give him some credit.

Back at camp Marian, Dante and Steffi worried about how much shit Toni will talk about while on the reward. Palesa meanwhile was busy working her way back in with her tribemates, speculating who was the biggest threat on the other tribe, with Dante identifying Dino and boy was he laser focused on getting him out ASAP! Speaking of Dino, he and the Yontau tribe were joyously smashing their mac and cheese as Toni warned everyone about how threatening Dante is. Particularly for the men. And while she was running her mouth, poor Tejan just looked on, worried about how to navigate her mouth moving forward.

They returned to the Masu camp with Toni feeling the welcome was frosty and therefore chose to hold back sharing most of the information. And sadly for her, everyone knew it. As such, Shane went for a walk with Tejan, where he admitted how much information Toni gave the rival tribe and he was now willing to join the rest of the tribe to vote her out.

The next day Seamus was still busy making new friends to take control over at Yontau, doing some yoga with Killarney. While she wanted to work with Dino, Seamus suggested he was only wanting to protect the strong men to help him come merge. And while she was open to all plans, she ultimately just wanted to stick with the numbers until after the merge. Seamus then tried his luck with Shona where things went far more poorly, as she didn’t buy anything he was saying and as such, was ready to turn on him instead. Over at Masu, Steffi and Marian continued to bond, with Steffi going so far as to share the fact she found the hidden immunity idol.

Zaddy Nico made his triumphant return for the immunity challenge where the tribes would have to solve a puzzle to release a key, unlock a gate and climb through some obstacles before solving another, giant slide puzzle. While Masu generally struggles with the challenges where they have to work together, they managed to get out to an early lead. Well, until Yontau caught up at the final puzzle as Masu struggled to listen to one person. While Yontau started to pull ahead, Masu managed to get things together, overtake them and secure immunity once again.

Back at camp Shona quickly got to work scrambling, approaching Phil to float the idea of getting rid of Seamus before he could turn things on Dino. Killarney soon joined them and the trio locked in the vote, but Killarney was quite confused so it could get cooked like Cara before her. Seamus meanwhile was busy approaching Pinty about getting rid of Dino, worrying that a swap is imminent and not wanting to face off against him during a puzzle challenge. After locking in Pinty, he approached Thoriso to join what he felt was their final number. Thoriso meanwhile was not keen, immediately approaching Pinty about getting rid of Seamus too. Much to her absolute delight.

Unaware everyone else was already down to get rid of Seamus, Shona approached Dino to fill him in on everything that had been going on around camp. And while Dino had wanted to protect Seamus in the game, he was happy to pivot and turn on him instead. With him quickly looping in Felix, as he delighted in everyone working for him and essentially doing his dirty work. Oh and he was going to throw a vote on Killarney JIC Seamus had an idol.

At tribal council Shona spoke about the tribe generally being unified, despite being left out of the loop on the last vote. Phil agreed that while that will happen, the tribe collectively wanted to get as many people to merge and that is unwavering. Thoriso stopped Nico from pulling apart the argument, saying that unity is about sticking together in the face of differences and not a sign of any larger problem. Like a damn boss. Killarney explained how the votes have been based on a number of reasons, while Dino just wanted to play the game without being malicious and always wanted to be fun and friendly. While Seamus said it would be silly to trust everyone, though he was trying not to be paranoid and trust is all about taking a leap of faith. Which Felix agreed with.

With that the tribe voted and poor Seamus found he lept in the wrong direction, as the tribe banded together to boot him from the game. While Seamus spoke about the trauma of being voted out first in the Philippines, it forced him out of his shell and to address things that were bothering him. And that introspection, led to him being an absolute delight this go around and while I was sad to see him go so soon, I am proud about how he had grown. Which is word-for-word what I told him as we smashed Schmearus Holmes in Loser Lodge.

Yeah yeah, bagels and cream cheese are a match made in heaven. But if you really want to elevate your breakfast experience, a good schmear is where it’s at. And this one is glorious. Salty bacon, sweet shallots and a hint of paprika work together to start your day right.

Enjoy!

Schmearus Holmes
Serves: 1 person with a spoon, TBH.

Ingredients
100g bacon, diced
250g cream cheese, softened 
4 spring onions, finely sliced
1 tsp paprika
salt and pepper, taste

Method
Place a frying pan over medium heat and cook the bacon for a few minutes, or until crisp. Remove and drain on a paper towel until cool.

Once chill, combine everything in a bowl – less salt, more pepper is my advise – or using the paddle attachment in a stand mixer if you’re feeling lazy. Transfer to a serving bowl and leave to chill for half an hour or so before schmearing on a bagel. Or devouring with a spoon. Because it is good.


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Blueberry Jam Hugh

Condiment, Drag Race France, Drag Race France 1, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France the dolls threw a little French Ball, serving hometowns and cliches before stomping the runway in a final look fit for the Cannes red carpet. Though made out of pool toys. While everyone kinda slayed the first two categories, it was Kam who rose above the pack and even shone in her designed look, serving glamour Nemo. At the other end of the pack, Briochée, Bertha and Soa kinda sucked. Ultimately though Bertha was given a reprieve, leaving Soa to solidify her place as the lip sync assassin of the season as she sent sweet Briochée home.

Backstage they were heartbroken to have lost Briochée while Soa made the dolls horny as she flashed her butt while cleaning the mirror message. Which was all we got for an aftermath meaning they either had nothing bad to say about Briochée, or we’re in for a big episode. The dolls Squid Game-d their way back into the Werk Room the next day with Soa disappointed to once again be in the bottom, though was proud to be deemed the lip sync assassin of the season. Everyone congratulated Kam on her win, while she was ready to finally intimidate the dolls as a winner.

Nicky interrupted the pleasantries to drop by and open the bibliotheque with the help of the zaddy Pit Crew for the première French reading challenge. First up was Big Bertha who absolutely eviscerated Paloma as looking like the critic from Ratatouille and Lolita as a pain. Kam meanwhile was a mess, Lolita was read while trying to read, Elips was surprisingly cutting and so damn good while La Grande Dame was amazing calling Lolita as an Oompa Loompa, which would hurt if it wasn’t so true. And then Nicky for not winning. Paloma then read Grande Dame for being a slut and Kam for being nipped and tucked before Soa charmed the hell out of me whether she was necessarily good or not. In any event, La Big Bertha took out victory.

But that was only the warm up, as has become habit, the dolls would need to back up their shade by participating in the ultimate Drag Race challenge – Snatch Game! As Nicky left the dolls split up to talk through their strategies with Grande Dame nervous about slaying the improvisation, while Soa was ready to be as wild as possible. Nicky returned to Kiki with the dolls with Paloma opening up that she will be playing Fanny Ardent or Roselyne Bachelot, which was Nicky’s choice for her. Kam meanwhile went with Mirielle Mathieu despite being cautioned she isn’t the funniest character while Lolita looked to be on a winner with Rossy de Palma. Elips would be playing Chantal Ladesou and despite being nervous, clearly has the voice locked down. Soa is going with the wild and underground Félindra, ready to return to the top. While Bertha was confident in her decision to play Jean-Pierre Coffe. Oh and Grande Dame is ready to slay as Alexandra Rosenfeld.

We quickly ventured to the Snatch Game set where Berengere Krief and Bilal Hassani joined the dolls with Soa immediately slaying, being stupid and fun. Grande Dame leant into all the beauty queen jokes, bouncing off Soa perfectly. Bertha meanwhile didn’t have the laughs translate over from the Werk Room. Lolita was charming, Kam looked perfect though quickly faded into the background. Paloma meanwhile was fun and breathy while Elips was hilarious despite me having no idea what was going on. While Soa, Grande Dame, Paloma and Elips went from strength to strength throughout the challenge, Bertha and Kam struggled more and more and well, it was hard to watch.

Jour de l’elimination arrived with everyone splitting up to beat their mugs, with Bertha and Lolita clearly petrified about landing in the bottom after struggling throughout Snatch Game. With Soa working overtime to try and give her a pep talk/reading her before Lolita opened up about feeling like she pushed all her sisters away and while it was hard to watch her breakdown, it was nice to see everyone rally around her to make sure she was okay. Proving emphatically that she isn’t isolated and truly is loved.

Nicky, Daphné and Kiddy were joined by Bilal Hassani on the judges panel as the dolls stomped the Lendemain de soirée runway where Elips was stunning with a disco ball lodged in her head. Bertha gave glamour in a black pantsuit with a train of trash bags,  Soa was sexy and street and ready to fight while Kam brought the bed back in a pink and red quilted gown. Grande Dame was stunning dressed as a used condom, complete with a cum wig like a damn icon. Paloma served tabloid princess, Lolita served balloon baby that got drunk at her kid’s party, complete with a drink in her wig.

Ultimately Elips was sent to safety before the judges praised Bertha for looking stunning on the runway, with her opening up she made the look last night as she felt her original one was too simple and she needed to prove herself after Snatch Game. Which the judges agreed just wasn’t fun. Soa was praised for everything she served this week, from the killer runway to her hilarious Snatch Game. Kam’s runway received universal praise for looking such a delight, while her Snatch Game was read for being such a bomb. Grande Dame received universal praise for being the sexiest condom of all time and for nailing Snatch Game AND having fun doing it. Paloma too received universal praise for all that she did, while Lolita was read for being lost in Snatch Game. Despite the judges loving her fun concept on the runway. Allowing her to open up to the judges and having them reiterate that she truly belongs.

The tops and bottoms joined Elips backstage where they all agreed Grand Dame would be taking out the win, though they weren’t sure who out of the bottoms would be lip syncing. Kam admitted she was disappointed she wasn’t funny, though this was the challenge she was most afraid of. As she broke down, she told them she was angry at herself for going from the top to the bottom. Bertha too was emotional, hating to have disappointed the judges but to also have to lip sync against one of her sisters.

Ultimately the dolls were right as Grande Dame took out her first win of the season while Soa and Paloma were sent to safety. At the other end of the pack, Lolita narrowly avoided the bottom as Bertha and Kam lip sync to a song that was banned in Australia which is a bit of a lol TBH. But either way, Bertha was doing the absolute most while Kam walked off stage for a baggy wig reveal. Though sadly, it wasn’t enough to save herself, as Bertha was saved and Kam joined the win to elim club, which is kinda iconic. As iconic as say, somebody not paying for the rights to the song for all regions.

As a heartbroken Kam ventured backstage, I quickly pulled her in and reminded her that not only is she a massive talent. The win-elim club seems like hella fun and if you can’t be a Porkchop girl, that is definitely the way to go. Plus, she will always be remembered for serving such a strong package in the ball and that is enough to be beloved. And to smash a vat of Blueberry Jam Hugh.

Like Kam, this little jam is a perfect little sweet number with a hidden layer of depth to it. In colour and juiciness from the blueberries. We’ve all fallen in love with raspberries and strawberries, though I implore you to give their blue sister a go. Because it is good.

Enjoy!

Blueberry Jam Hugh
Makes: 2 cups.

Ingredients
500g blueberries
2 cups raw caster sugar
6 tbsp fresh lemon juice

Method
Combine everything in a large saucepan over medium heat and bring to the boil. Reduce heat to low and cook, simmering for half an hour, stirring frequently. When the jam is starting to jell, you know it is done, otherwise keep on truckin’ for another 5-10 minutes.

Spoon the hot jam into sterilised jars and sealing, inverting for a couple of minutes before turning the right side up and leaving aside to cool completely.


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Caesharonne Salad Dressing

Condiment, Drag Race España, Drag Race España 2, Sauce, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race España 12 iconic new queens entered the Werk Room, ready to live up to the hype generated by their first season sisters. As good as they all were, somebody had to go first as the delightful Marisa Prisa stumbled at the first hurdle. My sweet zaddy Ariel soon followed before Samantha Ballentines was felled on her third go in the bottom. Jota was the next to go before Snatch Game took out the immensely talented Onyx. Diamante soon followed before Sethlas was cut on her first time in the bottom before Juriji narrowly missed out on getting to the top.

Since everyone nailed the makeover and were sent through to the finale.

After a gruelling final challenge, Marina was eliminated in fourth place before the top three lip synced for the crown. And while Estrella and Venedita are both stars, Sharonne demolished the competition and did everything she could to guarantee herself the crown. And you know, cementing herself as having the best track record of all time.

Ever the consummate professional, Sharonne was humble as she claimed victory thanking everyone involved in the show and her new sisters for being so kind and supportive. By the time she was dedicating her win to her actual sisters and mother for being the shining queens of her life, I was pushing out a single tear Lisa Rinna style.

As she exited the stage, I pulled her in for a hug and congratulated her on such a dominant performance throughout the season. Week after week she delivered a stunning performance, was kind and loving with her sisters and all around was a delight to watch. And as such, I was filled to victoriously guzzle Caesharonne Salad Dressing with her!

Now I know I spend a tonne of time bitching about seafood, but I fell in love with caesar dressing before I learnt what the black chunks were so thankfully have continued to love it. Anchovies be damned! Plus, I have a passion for salty, creamy sauces, so I will look past it.

Enjoy!

Caesharonne Salad Dressing
Makes: 1 cup.

Ingredients
6 anchovy fillets, drained
2 garlic cloves
kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 egg yolks
1 lemon, zested and juiced
1 tsp Dijon mustard
2 tbsp olive oil
½ cup vegetable oil
¼ cup parmesan cheese, grated

Method
The fateful day I learnt about the whole anchovy of it all, I was working in a cafe and making a huge amount of dressing. As such, my method is the commercial quantity version using a food processor or blender.

Start by blitzing the anchovy and garlic together with a pinch of salt over high speed. Reduce to low and blitz in the egg yolks, followed by 2 tbsp of lemon juice and all the zest and the mustard. Increase speed to medium and pout in the olive oil a few drops at a time, not rushing the process otherwise it will split. Add the vegetable oil in a very slow and steady stream until the dressing is thick and glossy.

Add the parmesan and blitz further, before seasoning and adding more lemon juice if required. Then either drizzle on a salad, or drink triumphantly.


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Maryanne Picoketchutney

Condiment, Sauce, Survivor, Survivor 42, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor 18 new castaways were marooned on the islands of Fiji, ready to repeat all the tricks of last season. But hot damn did they have more success. Despite tragically losing Jackson before the first immunity challenge, the Ika tribe arrived at tribal council ready to play. Sadly for Zach, that was as far as his game went. More importantly, it also broke Maryanne’s heart as he was the literal embodiment of every white man she has ever loved. We then lost Marya, Jenny and Swati in quick succession, before Daniel blew up his game and set up the demise of Vati post-merge.

Speaking of which, the fake merge cost Lydia her game before Chanelle became the queen of the jury. Ika lost Rocksroy and Tori in a double tribal council before Omar took control by getting rid of Hai and Drea. In turn, that painted a target on his back and got him booted by Maryanne’s epic 3-2-2 play. This then led to Lindsay getting booted before the fire making challenge took out Jonathan, leaving Romeo, Mike and Maryanne to face the jury at final tribal council.

Despite Romeo putting in a strong showing, he came out of the experience with nary a vote while Mike’s subpar performance scored him only one as the jury gave Maryanne a resounding win for not only a game well played, but for dominating final tribal council.

After the cast finished filming the on island reunion, I quickly pulled Maryanne aside to toast her success. While she had a wild yet somehow quiet game at the start, she expertly read the room and was able to reset once she realised how she was being perceived, leading her on a path to greatness. Pulling off some epic moves at the right moments to not only get her to the end, but earn her the win. More importantly, she also was an epic and engaging character that will go down in the pantheon of legends. But for now, we’ll always have Maryanne Picoketchutney.

I always had a fear of the bright yellow pickle that lived in my fridge as a child, but thankfully with time comes wisdom and as an adult, my love affair began. Super tart, a little bit sweet and lightly spice, this is the perfect accompaniment for any occasion. Particularly a win.

Enjoy!

Maryanne Picoketchutney
Makes: 1.5L.

Ingredients
500g cauliflower, cut into small florets
200g zucchini, cut into a fine dice
100g green beans, trimmed and thinly sliced
1 onion, diced
2 tbsp sea salt
600ml malt vinegar
3 tbsp English mustard powder
1 tbsp coriander seeds
2 tbsp yellow mustard seeds
2 tsp cumin seeds
1 tsp turmeric
¼ cup plain flour
⅔ cup raw caster sugar
2 bay leaves

Method
Combine the cauliflower, zucchini, beans and onion in a bowl with the salt. Cover and leave to steep at room temperature overnight. In the morning, rinse under cold water and drain.

Whisk 100 ml of vinegar with the mustard powder, coriander, mustard and cumin seeds, turmeric and flour to form a paste.

Combine the rest of the ingredients in a saucepan over medium heat, whisking until the sugar dissolves. Whisk in the mustard mixture and cook for a couple of minutes, or until starting to thicken. Add the drained vegetables and cook for a further couple of minutes.

Ladle the mixture into sterilised jars and seal immediately, storing in a cool dark place until opened. Then devour, immediately.


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Romesco Saucobar

Condiment, Sauce, Survivor, Survivor 42, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor 18 new castaways were marooned on the lush islands of Fiji where one by one they were eliminated, starting with the tragic loss of Jackson and Zach within the first few days. They were followed out the door – yes, this is happening – Marya, Jenny, Swati and Daniel before three became one as the tribes merged, or so they thought, as once again, the merge was a bit of a gag. That cost Lydia her game before the official merge saw Chanelle ascend to the throne as Queen of the jury. She was soon joined by Rocksroy, Tori, Hai, Drea and Omar before the final five were sent to a new beach to start over. Despite winning an advantage for the challenge, Lindsay couldn’t take out victory and landed on the jury bench before Romeo narrowly snatched final immunity and took Maryanne to final tribal council with him, leaving Mike to earn his place and sending Jonathan from the game to become the final juror.

The final three awoke on Day 26 to watch the sunrise, proud to have made it all the way to the end and to get the chance to argue their case. Though Mike was worried about how he would be able to convince the jury of his game, despite all of them giving confessionals about really needing him to own the fact he is the biggest snake left in the game. Romeo meanwhile was proud of playing from the bottom the entire game, with the jury admitting that his ability to persevere and outlast everyone has been very impressive. Maryanne meanwhile was readying herself to scream all of her achievements from the rooftops and while the jury were thrilled to see Maryanne make it to the end, they worried about her ability to articulate her superior game. And TBH, focus on the task at hand.

With that, the final three arrived at the final tribal council where Probst quickly explained the proceedings for the evening. Omar kicked off the discussion about their social games, praising all of them for making it to the end and encouraged everyone to outline what they did to deserve the win. Tori spoke about Mike’s passion for trust and integrity, while Maryanne was charming and fun while Romeo was quiet, asking how accurate her read was and whether she missed anything. Mike leant straight into his love of trust, while Maryanne countered that she has always taken the game seriously, desperately trying to downplay her threat level as all the young people kept getting voted out when they tried to make a move. While Romeo just agreed that yes he was paranoid, but that he kept throwing hinky votes out to keep people riled up.

That sadly upset Hai, who accused him of gaslighting him and ugh, Hai destroyed him. Despite his attempts to apologise and them ultimately moving on, I still worry for Romeo in this final tribal. Giving him hope, Omar asked Mike about some of the other times he lied that he hadn’t copped to, including the blindside of Drea. While Mike tried to talk around things, Chanelle jumped in to call bullshit on the situation, leading to Mike getting more and more desperate as he tried to explain that he only crossed people that crossed him. Which Hai pointed out was mainly Omar feeding him lies. Jonathan tried to get Mike to fight before Drea cooled things down and reminded everyone that they all lied, but the fact of the matter is that Mike’s social game was just on point.

Talk turned to Maryanne’s sloppy social game pre-merge, with Maryanne admitting she hadn’t realised how much her tribe hated her before the merge but once she realised, she rightly course corrected. Lindsay then gave Maryanne the chance to explain who she pulled in herself, with her highlighting her skills in taking out Omar. And while Jonathan tried to take ownership of the move, she slapped him down and rightly took credit. Because trust and believe, it was her moment.

Rocksroy kicked off the physical portion of the game, with Maryanne talking about her contribution around camp, weaving fronds and prepping the fish. Mike meanwhile highlighted his work ethic, powering along all season to look after his tribe. While Romeo admitted he has never camped and just learnt to swim, and as such, he is proud of himself for persevering and finally snatching immunity at the final four.

Drea kicked off the strategic portion, telling the final three that this is what will decide her vote. She asked each of them to outline their biggest move with Romeo talking about his fake immunity idol and winning the final challenge. Oh and that he took Maryanne because she didn’t have a strategy. Mike meanwhile spoke about orchestrating the blindside on Hai, with him admitting that sometimes his emotions got the best of him before he realised mid-sentence that he wasn’t as honest as he thought. Maryanne meanwhile shut it down, explaining that getting rid of Omar set her up with a bunch of final three combinations she could navigate. She then outed her idol, impressing everyone by keeping the secret and clearly articulating how removing Omar is the thing that took her to the end.

Romeo meanwhile broke down, disappointed to have had to play the game from the bottom and to not show his real self throughout the game. Though he was proud to have never given up and make it to the end, and to finally be able to live his life as a proud gay man. Mike spoke about being proud of himself for overcoming the generational barriers, competing with the younger kids and making the bonds to get to the end. While Maryanne once again dominated, sharing how she learnt to stand up for herself and to not self-sabotage, which is why she voted out Lindsay. She cried about having to turn on a friend, though finally knew that she had to take the risk of getting rid of her, to give herself the best shot at winning.

With that the jury voted and once again, everyone was gagged to discover that Jeff would be reading the votes right then and there in the middle of Fiji. Sadly for Romeo, none of them were for him as he found himself becoming the second runner-up of the season.

As Jeffy pop and co reset to film the reunion, I pulled Romeo aside and gave him a massive hug for all that he achieved throughout the season. And for giving a surprisingly dominant performance in the final tribal council. Romeo perfectly articulated how he managed to navigate the game despite being on the bottom the entire time, while also going on a massive journey to self-acceptance. Which is not bad for 26 days of work! And while it didn’t jag him the win, it was more than enough to win him my heart and a big ol’ ramekin of Romesco Saucobar.

A little bit tangy with a touch of earthiness and punch of sweetness, this Spanish sauce is the perfect accompaniment for pretty much anything. Make it a bit thicker and you’ve got a punchy dip, thinner and it works perfectly with some charred chicken.

Enjoy!

Romesco Saucobar
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
150g chargrilled capsicum, drained well
½ tsp sweet smoked paprika
¼ tsp chilli powder
20g flaked almonds, lightly toasted in a dry pan
1 lemon, zested and juiced
5 large garlic cloves, crushed
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tsp kosher salt
¼ tsp freshly ground black pepper

Method
Pop everything into the blender and blitz until smooth.

Decant and either down, dip or drizzle on something and devour – your choice!


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Sichuanyx Chilli Oil

Condiment, Dip, Drag Race España, Drag Race España 2, Sauce, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race España the dolls starred in los Javis’ neauvo rusical Holy Drag Camp! And well, while we literally saw the entire show, the quality held up and I kept my complaining to a minimum. Despite having a killer voice, Juriji struggled while Jota disappeared into the background as her sisters shone. Oh and Onyx was just there, but given her character was a painting, there wasn’t much she could actually do to stand out. While Sharonne continued to deliver killer performances, it was Estrella who was rewarded for killing each week as she took out her first victory of the season. Juriji and Jota landed in the bottom too and while Jota put everything on the line, Juriji absolutely slayed the lip sync, saved herself and sent sweet, young Jota packing. 

Backstage Diamante couldn’t give a shit to have lost their youngest sister, while Juriji paid tribute to Jota’s bravery and how talented she is at such a young age. Despite not lip syncing, Onyx was disappointed to have received negative critiques from the judges, while Sharonne desperately tried to remind them how talented both the bottom queens are. While Diamente, again, just wanted Juriji to wake up and put up, though was hopeful lip syncing was the push she needed. Everyone pivoted to praising Estrella on her well deserved win, before Diamante gave them all one final wake up Pearl moment, which is a pretty confident thing to do for safe.

They then all made out and snuggled and yeah, my basement was and continues to be, flooded.

The next day the dolls were doing their best animal impersonations, which is a vibe, before speculating what challenge they would be facing this week. Supremme soon arrived to put them out of their misery by immediately throwing them into this week’s Mini Challenge where they would have to recite poetry in front of a big fan. More importantly, the Pit Crew arrived in mesh underwear, so obviously I stopped paying attention on anything else. After they all hornily reached into the Pit Crew’s sacks to grab a poem, they had 20 minutes to merrorise the poem and get into some quick drag before the Pit Crew wheeled out said fan to blow on their face while they recited their erotic poetry.

As is oft the case when the Pit Crew around, we all proved to be winners, though apparently it was Onyx that took out victory for keeping her dignity, winning a huge haul of sex toys.

Supremme then dropped the big news though, as the dolls learned that for this week’s Maxi Challenge they would be playing Snatch Game! The dolls quickly split up to start prepping their looks before Supremme dropped by to learn who everyone would be playing with Diamante hilariously doing wrestling mask RuPaul – don’t get this franchise cancelled, Diamante! – Marina will be playing Antonia Dell’atte, Onyx shared she would be doing Jauna de Loca or Valencia’s neighbour, which got a big reaction from Jruiji, given the latter is her number one choice. Sharonne will be playing Veronica Forque – who died after the show was shot, thus her receiving a tribute at the top of the episode – while Drag Sethlas will be Carmen Lomana, Estrella meanwhile was playing Paquita Salas and Venedita will be Miguel Bose.

We quickly pivoted to set where Jedet and Eva Hache were lined up to star as guests, and while it is always harder to get the references in foreign franchises, it was clear that Sharonne and Juriji were slaying the game. While Onyx was well and truly bombing, alongside Diamante, who made RuPaul as proud as Trixie before her. And while the rattlesnake noise tells me she was bombing, I lived for Drag Sethlas vocal fry as Carmen Lomana. Oh and Venedita’s wackadoo, anti-vaxxer was hilarious in a way that transcended language.

Dia de eliminacion arrived with Diamante terrified about landing in the bottom, while the dolls were proud of how funny Juriji proved to be. They then split up to get prepped for the runway and for some of them, hopefully save themselves from their terrible performances. Onyx opened up to Juriji and Drag Sethlas about her depression and the struggle to accept her weirdness as her strength. Marina and Estrella joined the conversation, talking about how great it is that they can all be themselves and are celebrated for it and ugh, again, they are all too sweet.

Supremme, Ana, y los Javis were joined on the panel by Goya winning actress, Maria Leon for the Spanish Dolls runway where Marina opened the show as a neon, plastic disco delight and damn, she looked good. Diamante was a voodoo ragdoll, Sethlas went nude, serving genderless Barbie realness, while Onyx was perfection as a porcelain doll. Sharonne was serving perfect face as a pillow doll before revealing herself as Teela from Masters of the Universe. Juiji was a glam, goth porcelain doll, Venedita was perfection as a Matador souvenir doll, while Estrella was a creepy, crazed paper doll before revealing herself to be a sexy blow-up doll.

Ultimately Marina was sent to safety alongside Estrella before the judges read Diamante for being terrible in Snatch Game, which is something she freely agreed with. The judges wished Sethlas chose her other Snatch Game option, before Onyx was read for being completely stuck in her head, though they loved her runway. Sharonne once again received universal praise for everything she did this week, particularly for nailing the characterisation of Veronica. Juriji too received universal praise, with the added bonus being that she surprised the judges with how good she was. Oh and they lived for everything that Venedita did this week too.

Backstage the safe dolls were busy chatting away when the tops and bottoms joined them to talk things through, with Diamante sure that she would lip syncing. While Sharonne admitted the choice between Sethlas and Onyx joining her is a tough one, with both sure it would be them. Juriji meanwhile was proud to show off her skills while the dolls questioned if there was anything Venedita can’t do!

Despite Juriji and Venedita giving very strong performances, it was Sharonne who took out her second win of the season. At the other end of the pack, Sethlas narrowly avoided the bottom leaving Diamante and Onyx to lip sync for their lives. As soon as Arrasando by Thalia kicked off, both the dolls went off. They hit every lyric and danced around stage and while Diamante gave the more traditional, ballroom-style lip sync, I was living for Onyx’s silliness and campy moves and as such, I was absolutely heartbroken when she was told to sashay away.

Like Onyx, I am riddled with self-doubt and each day is a struggle to self acceptance so when we met up backstage, I quickly pulled her in for a massive hug. I mean, yeah, I also find Onyx ridiculously attractive, so the hug was just as good for me as it was for her, but I knew she needed to remember that she is talented, loved and to know other people could see it. And while it may not seem like it, I feel my Sichuanyx Chilli Oil truly proved it to her.

As hot and spicy as Onyx herself, this oil packs such a deep, earthy punch. Perfect for dipping, drizzling and in a state of disappointment, I guess, drinking, the oil’s warmth carries on long after it passes your lips and acts as a delicious hug for everything that passes. Food wise, obvi, because it is spicy.

Enjoy!

Sichuanyx Chilli Oil
Makes: 1 ½ cups.

Ingredients
1 cup vegetable oil
1 cinnamon stick
4 star anise
2 bay leaves
2 tbsp Sichuan peppercorns
2 tbsp chilli flakes
1 tbsp chilli powder
1 tsp salt

Method
Pop the vegetable oil, cinnamon, star anise, bay leaves and Sichuan peppercorns in a saucepan over low heat. Cook for about half an hour, or until lightly fragranced. Crank the heat to high and cook for a a couple of minutes before removing from the heat.

Combine the chilli flakes and powder, and salt in a bowl and strain the oil over to combine. Stir and leave to infuse for a couple of hours before serving. Or devouring.


As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.