Fruit

Eva Le Queen’s Cocktail

Drink, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars 1, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Global All Stars the dolls were tasked with reviewing census data on the way to forming Global Girl Groups. Everyone, thankfully, was allowed to write verses in their mother tongue, because that would have been completely unfair. Soa and Kween were super confident given they won the Girl Groups challenge on their original season, while Kitty was hoping to finally live up to her potential given she made her name in a literal Girl Group. We know that could have gone either way in the world of Drag Race, but luckily for her, Kitty owned the challenge from start to finish and took out victory. In Untucked, Nehellenia felt everyone was attacking her and telling her she wasn’t good enough while riling up her sisters, when she wouldn’t actually say who felt that way. Ultimately Miranda and Vanity landed in the bottom, with sweet Miranda sent home.

Backstage Vanity was grateful to have survived the lip sync, but sad for the delightful Miranda. To her credit, Vanity agreed that she was the weakest in her team, though pointed out that any of Alyssa’s back-up dancers should have been in the bottom with Miranda instead. Or even Alyssa, given she is the one that did choreography that her sisters couldn’t handle and yas, queen, give us drama, mama!

The next day the energy was far more jovial with Kitty thrilled to have a victory under her belt, particularly since she won more money than Krystal did for winning their OG season. After briefly touching on Vanity’s killer lip sync – her last of the season, allegedly – Alyssa brought things back to Nehellenia’s Untucked tantrum with her awkwardly staying quiet, before apologising for sharing her feelings. Kween explained to Nehellenia that she felt like she and Kitty weren’t able to talk about their own positive critiques due to her drama, and that is why she was so frustrated.

Once again the Ru-larm interrupted what was bound to be an epic Alyssa monologue, as Ru arrived to open the international biblioteca. Because reading is what? Fundamental. Tessa was up first, giving cute and topical, before Pythia was read by Alyssa while she tried to read her. Nehellenia vowed to never watch Tessa’s season, Vanity begged Tessa to shut up and then bombed badly, Kitty meanwhile was hilarious. Full stop. Kween was savage, Alyssa was hilarious, Gala was brutal, Eva was cute, while Soa was iconic and energetic. Rightfully, though, victory went to Kitty because she is nothing if not a shady doll. Pushing her into the role of frontrunner, according to her.

With that out of the way, Ru announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge, they would be starring in Boobified – drag doll Barbie – movie shequels.  The Pit Crew arrived to help decide teams as the dolls picked their films out of his pink, furry box. Tessa landed on Frankenboobie alongside Vanity, Gala and Eva, Pythia, Nehellenia and Soa were starring in Boobies Of The Caribbean, while Kitty, Kween and Alyssa were cast in Jurassic Boobie.

The dolls split into their teams to read through the scripts with Team Tessa calmly grabbing roles, with Vanity and Gala rocking off for the final role. And while Vanity didn’t get the role of Weird Boobie, she vowed to slay nonetheless, given she needs to prove herself after her bottom two and bomb in the reading challenge combo. While Eva started to panic she was only in the last scene and as such, needed to stand out. Over in Team Caribbean, Soa was thrilled to lean into her heritage with the trio calmly dividing the roles and preparing to have fun motorboating. Which is a cultural thing Nehellenia is only learning. Meanwhile at Jurassic Boobie, Alyssa felt typecast as the older girl, while Kween related to the T-Rex role leaving Kitty as the Laura Dern.

Team Purple were first up to film with Michelle and Jamal with Tessa serving drama, as is her way, Gala was cute and silly, while Vanity pushed through her nerves to deliver madness while Eva struggled to find her bitchy Karen. Boobies of the Caribbean was demented and slutty from start to finish, as Nehellenia embraced her lisp for comedic effect, Pythia walked that fucking duck instead of plank while Soa had her sword stroked. Wrapping up the shoot, Jurassic Boobie was glorious from start to finish as Alyssa gave rando accent and was hilariously iconic as she always is – do wah, do wah – while Kween relished being a big ol’ bitch. Before Kitty snapped the giant blow dryer prop.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone feeling rather confident in their performance, with Alyssa grateful to make it through the shoot without flubbing her lines. Eva meanwhile cheeked in with Pythia, asking what the political climate is like in Canada. She opened up about how progressive it is, however felt growing up in Greece was truly terrifying. She spoke about how she had a falling out with her parents before Canada’s Drag Race, but she secretly went on the show and her parents watching helped them understand and improve their relationship. Gala on the other hand spoke about the disparity in Mexico, with the urban areas very progressive, over the climate was far less kind in outer states.

Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by style superstar Carson Kressley as Tessa opened the Brown Town runway giving fashion ABBA by way of delivering for UPS. Gala looked like a beast from Mad Max, Vanity was golden glamour in honour of the winner of her season, Eva gave prehistoric fashion, Pythia was her ice age sister, Nehellenia was perfection as a violin, Soa gave William Dorsey Swann and looked gorgeous. Alyssa gave clockwork Kansas steampunk realness, Kitty was living her Kardashian realness while Kween closed the show serving Pasifika warrior realness.

When it came to their movie trailers, Team Frankenboobie were cute and camp, Team Boobies of the Caribbean were oh so silly and gloriously fun, before Jurassic Boobie stole the damn show with Kween thriving and living her best life as a demented doll-dinosaur. Rightfully, Jurassic Boobie were declared the winners with Kween singled out as the best of the best before they were all sent backstage to untuck. After assuring the dolls they were all great this week, Tessa was praised for taking risks and having fun. Gala got her flowers for letting going and was praised for looking glorious on the runway despite there being a lot going on. Vanity was deemed the best of her group, while Eva was read for kinda getting lost in the performance. Pythia was praised for embracing the silliness, Nehellenia was beloved for everything while Soa was praised for constantly surprising the judges.

Backstage the Ru girls were thrilled to remain in the top, as Kween thanked them for having fun and making the challenge a joy. Talk turned to who would be in the bottom this week, with everyone agreeing on Eva but unsure of who in her team would be joining them. The bottoms made their way backstage with Soa opening up about feeling emotional despite getting generally strong critiques. Vanity was worried she would be in the bottom again, not wanting to spend the season in her head like in her OG run. Gala was feeling good, despite being read for giving too much in the look. While Eva was aware she was clearly in the bottom, so disappeared to prepare for the lip sync.

On the mainstage Ru reminded them they all did good this week before declaring Eva and Gala as the bottom two, sending the rest of the dolls to safety. And this too was a show. As Take On Me by A-Ha kicked off – this time minus Gigi’s attempted cheating towards a crown – Eva was gorgeous and hit every note. Gala meanwhile gave silly, camp fun and was clearly not interested in going home. And despite a wig reveal from Eva and some of the 80s finest moves, Gala’s emotion and stunts guaranteed her another week, as poor Eva found herself exiting.

As soon as she stepped off stage, I gave my best rice-cooker-not-plugged-in scream and pulled her in for a massive hug. Despite being such an early boot, there is no denying that Eva, like her sister Marina, is a bonafide star and more than worthy of a crown. But alas, the international queens tragically don’t appear to be faring well this season, and as such, she had to settle with an Eva Le Queen’s Cocktail while she waits.

While I never got to share it with you all previously, I was a dear friend of Liz II’s, may she rest in peace. And since I’ve given up using time travel – the TV show Loki scared me off fucking with it further – I figured she wouldn’t mind me pouring won out for a fellow queen.

Enjoy!

Eva Le Queen’s Cocktail
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
60ml dubonnet
30ml gin
ice
1 lemon wedge

Method
Pour the dubonnet and gin in a shaker and stir until well combined.

Pop the ice in a glass, add the lemon wedge and pour the cocktail over. Then down, and repeat, as required.


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Chickena Sagankis

Baking, Cheese, Main, Pasta, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars 1, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Global All Stars twelve of the brightest stars from across the franchise answered Ru’s call for the ultimate battle. Or a legit Olympics of Drags. In the first of Ru’s big openings, the six dolls razzled and dazzled before Alyssa kindly allowed Kween to tie with her for the win. Slipping into Ru’s second holeopening, the remaining dolls rose to the challenge and while Pythia’s hilarious bedtime story was killer, it was Eva and Vanity who (rightly) landed in the top. And despite killing it with perfect vocals, Ru didn’t punish Vanity and handed her the win. And since nobody went home, I caught up with Kitty as she was kinda primed to trim some of the fat.

Backstage Vanity was feeling her oats, thrilled to not just put her stamp on the competition but get the chance to vibe in front of Ru. Tessa meanwhile was feeling shady about the lip sync, telling her newest sisters that it was terrible, and hot damn, I live for her mess. As she clearly came to stir the pot and be remembered.

The next day Gala spoke about being a little disappointed about not being in the top, though agreed with Tessa, and was more pressed about how bland the lip sync was. With Vanity reminding her she lip synced because she was the best in the challenge. And if she won by simply not being the worst, so be it. Talked turned to upcoming first elimination, with Alyssa just hoping they wouldn’t be eliminating each other or voting, as it didn’t work out well for her on All Stars 2. Unless she packed sequined singlets, obvi.

Ru made her triumphant return to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge, they would be throwing a ball. The International Queen of Mystery Ball, pacifically. Much to Soa’s heartache, given she is not a designer. First, they would strut their stuff on the Boss Lady in Charge runway, showing off their spy she-EO looks. Second, they would serve She-vil Villain realness before finally giving International Queen of Mystery. The latter of which the dolls would be designing in the Werk Room using supplies left behind by production. After Ru departed, things turned into chaos as the dolls pilfered through everything for the goods. Pythia and Eva kikied about their designs, with Pythia thrilled to be showing off her skills, knowing it is one of her strengths. Gala meanwhile told Kitty she isn’t sexy which adds nothing, but is kinda hilarious, no? Soa meanwhile was still bricking it, knowing that she is not a sewer, reminding us just how badly she went in her OG season.

Pythia meanwhile was wandering around helping out the girls, before Ru dropped by to check on her daughters. And most importantly, give Pythia a break. Gala, Pythia and Kween spoke through their plans, with Pythia delighting Ru with her ideas, while the others relied on laughs. Miranda drew a stick figure and had Ru giggling, Soa meanwhile was hoping to pay homage to Grace Jones while Athena planned to sell sex. And given the way she had Ru laughing, she should be ok, right? Tessa was feeling her oats, planning to make a full blown gown. While Alyssa was planning to drape her fabrics and hope for the best. In the middle of shading Tessa and being so fun and stupid.

After Ru left, Eva started to worry about her skills and pulling the look together in time. Kitty on the other hand was nervous for Soa and Athena, while Alyssa focused on confronting Tessa for calling her out in front of the head judge. And again, crown her. Because that wonky line was definitely not something she learnt from her degree.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to beat their mugs, while Nehellenia also fit in time to giggle at how bad Tessa’s wonky outfit was. Alyssa meanwhile giving Soa a pep talk about not being a sewer, but knowing the most important thing, which is selling it on the stage.

Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined by culturalista herself Matt Rogers aka Bussy Galore. Pythia opened the Boss Lady in Charge runway offering Patsy Stone doing surveillance. Eva was dressed for her daughter’s wedding, Kween served Scary Spice’s mother, Athena gave denim warrior with all the eyelets, Kitty gave blonde Baga Chipz, Miranda was iconic in a latex Carmen San Diego number, Nehellenia looked like she was ready for a Dallas boudoir, while Alyssa gave straight up Matrix bomb-shell. Vanity was an absolute whore in all the right ways, while Soa was perfection in a textured white suit, while Gala gave anime icon and Tessa gave pirate Elle from Kill Bill.

When it came to the She-vil Villain runway, Pythia gave lady-two-face complete with surgical equipment and neon. Eva was a gloriously scaled delight, Kween was an evil bush siren, Athena was lady Shape of Water, now with nails. Kitty’s tits were on fire as a shiny boobarella. Miranda gave cartoon tongueing, Nehellenia was all spikes, Alyssa gave gorgeous black swan, Vanity was a spiky night-demon, Soa was a manga warrior, Gala was a scaled delight – complete with buns – while Tessa was red. Thankfully, not the Testicle.

They debuted their International Queen of Mystery looks they designed and hot damn, HOW did Pythia make Britney’s latex look in 12 hours? Eva looked like a sexy, young extra from a Golden Girls ballroom scene, Kween was a velvety delight, Athena gave sloppy sex-bomb, Kitty looked like she was Eva’s friend on GGs, Miranda served sexy Daphne from Scooby Doo and ugh, I live. Nehellenia was a midnight delight, Alyssa was a glorious nude goddess, Vanity was ribbed for our pleasure in a ruched black gown, Soa served foreskin realness, Gala made a full suit, before Tessa closed the show in her wonky, degree-level Miss Congeniality look.

Ru announced that this season, one person would win the challenge while the bottom two would lip sync for their lives. So, yep, Global All Stars rules are just regular rules, FYI.

Eva, Kween, Kitty, Nehellenia, Vanity and Gala were sent to safety before Pythia rightly received all the praise for each and every one of her looks. Because they were ALL perfection. Athena’s first look was beloved, though the second look got lost amongst a sea of spikes and the third look just wasn’t executed well. Miranda was praised for giving something different in each look, though the judges felt the second was hiding herself amongst all the fabric. Despite it being absolutely iconic, and unique in the seas of other villains. Alyssa was beloved for all of her looks, despite the last one being a little basic. Because she is what? Sickening. Soa’s first look received all the praise, though they hated the other ones. Tessa meanwhile got all the love for her first two looks, though the third one was read for being messy and off topic, despite giving Ru the laughs.

Backstage the safe girls were thrilled to have made it through the week, so speculated who would be going home instead of them. Everyone was sure that Tessa would be in the bottom, though they weren’t sure who would join her out of Athena and Soa. Kween joked about Tessa being in the top, gagging them all as they descended into laughter. Right on cue, the tops and bottoms joined them with Tessa confident she was safe, leading to the most awkward silence ever. Athena meanwhile was busy reading Tessa’s gown for being an absolute mess as she admitted she was one of the bottom. Soa laughed at the dolls and their drama before Tessa, bless, shut her down and told her to laugh in the lip sync.

Ultimately Alyssa Edwards was deemed safe, leaving Pythia to take out her first win of the season. Tessa too was safe, despite us being unsure if she was high or low. As was Miranda, thankfully, leaving my girl Soa to face off against Athena for the last slot. And as soon as bad idea right? by Olivia Rodrigo kicked off, it was clear Soa was not looking to be the Porkchop of Global All Stars, hitting every letter and mopping up every corner of the stage. Athena served rocker queen with a little bit of camp fun thrown in, but this was clearly the Soa show, which guaranteed her place in the competition and sent sweet Athena home.

Not used to how things work in the culinary comfort space, I found Athena wandering backstage sadly, unsure of what to do. I pulled her in for a massive hug and told her that everything would be ok. Because why? First boots are always remembered, and it is the early-mid outs that we forget. Plus, Athena did a solid job on the ball and a lot of the other queens – Ms. Scott-Claus does Baga, for instance – were lucky to be safe, and as such, she goes out a robbed queen. Which earns public adoration and love, in addition to a comforting Chickena Sagankis.

While you can’t really tell what lies beneath – an underrated movie, FYI – the layer of gooey melted cheese, I can assure you this little number is as delicious as it is comforting. Punchy and fresh, with a glorious gloop of sharp cheese, some would say it is even better than a crown.

Enjoy!

Chickena Sagankis
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g chicken mince
¼ cup oregano leaves, finely chopped
2 spring onions, finely chopped
5 garlic cloves, minced
1 lemon, zested and juiced
salt and pepper, to taste
1 tbsp olive oil
1L passata
1 tsp sugar, pretty much anything but icing would work
100g mozzarella, grated
150g feta, crumbled
1 tsp dried oregano
risoni or thick crusty bread, to serve

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C.

Mix the chicken mince, fresh oregano, spring onions, garlic and lemon rind in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper until just combined. Using wet hands, roll them mixture into golf ball sized balls and pop on a lined baking sheet.

Heat the oil in a large, ovenproof cast-iron skillet over medium heat. Add the meatballs and cook, turning infrequently, for about 5 minutes, or until browned on the outside. Add the passata and sugar, stirring for a minute until combined and coated. Sprinkle with the mozzarella, followed by the feta and dried oregano. Transfer to the oven and cook for 15 minutes, or until the cheese is golden and starts to brown around the edges.

Serve the meatballs immediately with risoni (or your pasta of choice) or thick, crusty bread. And devour, greedily.


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Mark Warnorkchop & Salsa Verde

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the final four were well and truly locked down tribal lines with Middle-Aged Mafiosos Caroline and Mark locked in against our star actors, Ray and Feras. With immunity kind of deciding who had the upper hand. After Feras was pipped at the post by Mark in another immunity challenge, Mark and Caroline got to work convincing Feras to stick to his word and vote out Ray. Sadly for them, however, Feras was nervous and knew that if he and Ray split their vote, Mark and Caroline could do something spicy and get rid of him instead. This led to a deadlock between Caroline and Ray, with the fire challenge resulting in King Ray joining the Fourth Place Robbed Goddess of the season, which both sucks and feels right.

The next day, Feras was emotional and tired as he reflected on losing his closest ally and best friend in the game. Caroline and Mark, meanwhile, were thrilled to have made it to the end together despite their rocky journey. Despite his pain, Feras knew that everything came down to the upcoming immunity challenge and that if he doesn’t win, he is out. And while he hasn’t won an immunity challenge yet, he is looking for his rudemption. Sorry, redemption. Given he had been quite successful in challenges, Mark was feeling confident in his chances of taking out the hattrick. Caroline on the other hand knew that she had been underestimated all season long and was ready to prove it one final time.

Given it is all we’ve heard about so far, we met up with JLP in the jungle to see three massive torture wheels set up for the final immunity challenge of the season. They would stand on narrow pegs on each wheel, which would spin at regular intervals, forcing them on to narrower pegs, with the last person standing going straight to final tribal council and getting the choice of who to face off against. But first, loved ones. Mark’s wife Saskia came out in a red dress in honour of Queen Shonee – but seriously, what an icon for that move – she was followed by Caroline’s husband Murray and Feras’ wife Iman. After they wiped away their tears, the final three took their places on the wheels and strapped in for the pain.

Everyone was joking about their various attempts to blindside each other for the first 40 minutes, until JLP made the first crank of the wheel to narrower pegs. They survived the live transition before Feras spoke about how he knows that if he loses the challenge he is out, with Mark teasing him and talking about definitely having the taste for the win, and was looking forward to winning again. While Caroline reminded them that she gave birth to three children, so arguably, she is best placed to win this one. Which is as true as it is iconic. After an hour, JLP gave the wheels another crank, followed by one at 90 minutes before Mark opted out of the challenge after two hours. That left Feras and Caroline to face off after one final crank before Caroline stepped out, handing Feras final immunity. And let’s be honest, the game.

We pivoted straight to tribal council where sweet Ray was delighted to see his bestie wearing the immunity necklace, while Kirby looked on with pride and ugh, am I crying? Feras spoke about how much has changed in the last 24 hours, going from being heartbroken over having lost his two closest people back-to-back, but proud that he was finally able to push through and get the win and guarantee his place at the end. Mark and Caroline kindly congratulated Feras on killing the challenge, with Feras admitting he is now stressed about making the right decision of who to take to the end, particularly since he is single handedly deciding who to send to the jury.

Caroline spoke about coming so close to victory, though hoped that Feras wanted to battle it out with the best, in her, tomorrow night. Mark agreed that he would love the chance to battle with Feras, but cautioned Feras that what Caroline can say and do at final tribal is unknown and as such, she is far more of a risk. With that Feras voted and despite a clever plea from Mark, he made the wise decision to send him out of the game as the final juror.

As Mark arrived at the Jury Villa I pulled him in for a hug and congratulated him on a game well played. Despite the fact he and Caroline were frequently at each other’s throats and trying to blindside each other, I loved that neither of them held it against each other and were always willing to try again. It is iconic and makes for a fun season – I mean, who can believe we had them and Kirby and Feras feuding with each other all season long? As such, I thanked him for the drama and mess, and toasted his eventual return with a piping hot Mark Warnorkchop & Salsa Verde.

While pork chops are normally a first boot thing, when slathered in a spicy, punchy salsa verde, they are more than worthy of a final boot. That being said, Porkchop is a glorious icon, so this is worthy of her too.

Enjoy!

Mark Warnorkchop & Salsa Verde
Serves: 4

Ingredients
4 garlic cloves
2 tbsp pickled capers, drained
generous handful of mint
⅓ cup olive oil, plus extra 
1 lemon, zested and juiced
salt and pepper, to taste
1 tbsp butter
4 thick pork chops

Method
Combine the garlic, capers, mint, olive oil, lemon juice and zest, and a good whack of salt and pepper in a food processor and blitz until well combined. Taste and adjust seasoning, and leave to rest.

Pop the butter and a lug of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat. While the pan gets nice and hot, season the chops. Add them to the pan and cook for 5 minutes, before flipping and cooking for another 5 minutes, or until cooked through.

Remove from the pan and leave to rest for five minutes before slicing and serving with a generous slathering of salsa verde. And devouring.


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Raymond Chaney Temple Black

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Drink, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor everyone was on the hunt for an idol, until Feras rehid his for Ray to find to guarantee nothing fell into the Titans’ hands. Leaving Kirby with immunity as her only hope, given Ray was presumably safe. Tragically she fell out of the challenge, leaving it up to Feras to take all the Rebels to the end. After Mark took out immunity, Kirby begged Feras to play the idol for her, promising that if she goes tonight, he is next out the door. Sadly for her, the pitch fell on deaf ears as Feras played the idol for himself and sent the Queen to the jury.

Back at camp Mark and Caroline were overjoyed to make it to the final four, with Caroline in particular, thrilled by the fact she is the last woman standing. She tried to convince Feras and Ray that getting rid of Kirby was a massive move for all of them, while Feras was mainly focused on his guilt over ending her game. Despite knowing that he had no chance of winning if he were sitting next to her. He then caught up with Ray to assure him that it is them to the end, and that all they need to do is guarantee Mark doesn’t win immunity.

Which always feels like foreshadowing, no?

The next day Mark was still feeling his oats after the Kirby vote, confident it guaranteed him a clear and easy path to the end. And potentially a win, given he is more well liked than Caroline. We then got a little flashback to Feras and Mark locking in a final three deal, which explains his confidence a little more. And oh sweet baby Jesus, don’t let it be Ekin-Su. With the role of Ekin-Su played by our resident thespian, Raymond. Caroline meanwhile was busy washing up, reflecting on her time in the game and how being underestimated has fast become her super power. 

Despite all of his deals, Feras was nervous about being sent out as the fourth placed robbed goddess of the season should he not win immunity. Knowing sweet baby Ray is the only one that would never screw him over. Mark, however, Feras was sure would turn against him straight away and would be able to speak well in front of the jury. Meaning that he needed to make sure Mark doesn’t win immunity to guarantee that he goes home. Feras then returned to Caroline, floating the idea of sending Mark from the game if he isn’t immune and then – NO Feras, NO – if Mark does win immunity, she promised to get rid of Ray instead.

Given all we’ve spoken about is immunity, we quickly pivoted to JLP by the shores for the final four immunity challenge where they would race through a massive obstacle course to collect balls and then shoot said balls into a basket. First to win, obvi, jagging immunity. Feras and Mark were neck and neck reeling in their crates before Feras made quick work of the second obstacle. He maintained a minor lead through the third obstacle before Mark closed the gap, applying plenty of pressure as they got to work shooting their baskets. As Caroline and Ray tried to make their way to the end, Mark landed his first two balls, while Feras was stuck at one. Mark then got his eye in, landing ball after ball before Feras too got his eye in and miraculously tied things up with two balls remaining. Sadly for Feras and likely Ray, Mark got his eye back in and landed the final balls, securing himself immunity and some ugly crying, which was quite sweet.

Back at camp, Mark was barely able to suppress a smile as Ray and Feras were positively bereft. Feras opened up to us about feeling like he let down a lot of people in the process of losing the challenge; not just Ray, but also his family and community. He spoke about how he made the choice to vote out Kirby at the previous tribal council as he assumed he would win immunity and as such, now felt like he didn’t belong in the competition. Ray being Ray, he congratulated Mark for winning immunity but admitted that he has three very sad people with him in camp. He then said Mark got lucky, and the fact that he snapped back that it wasn’t luck – I assume as a joke, maybe – shows he may not actually do well in front of the jury.

Mark and Caroline meanwhile locked in their votes on Ray, though he admitted that he no longer trusted Feras would be joining them. He tried to give Caroline the heads up that she is likely making fire, only for them to realise that Feras had made independent final three deals with both of them and as such, they can’t trust him. Meaning they both considered voting him out. Mark, however, admitted that all he really cares about is going to the final three with Caroline as she is an instant win for him, so all he needed to do was convince Ray or Feras to vote the other out as he can beat them in the final immunity challenge. Feras caught up with Caroline to talk about how hard it is for him to consider turning on Ray, particularly given he is worried that Ray will vote for her, he votes for Ray and then Mark and Caroline would stick together to vote Feras out instead.

With that playing on his mind he went back to the shelter to talk to Mark, who assured him that he is to vote out Ray and honour the deal they made. Though given he used the word willing, Feras grew more and more nervous, to the point that Mark decided he was being lied to and as such, would be going to swing for the fences and make Feras look like a fool in front of the jury.

At tribal council Feras spoke about how heartbreaking it was to lose the immunity challenge, as it is once again a time when he has fallen just short. And he truly felt it today. Mark spoke about how the Titans and Rebels have all leaned into their characters, before making a little dig about the fact that Feras didn’t play his idol for Kirby. Feras opened up about his love for Raymond before Mark decided to Mark. As the jury rolled their eyes, he spoke about how Feras had made a final three deal with him and Caroline that were independent of each other. Meaning he is either sticking to his word to them and voting out his closest ally, or lying to them. Which, TBH, seems like something the jury would consider a good thing, but whatever.

Mark couldn’t pick up that the jury couldn’t care less, pointing out that if he played his idol for Kirby the last night, she would still be here. Leading to Feras straight up admitting that he regretted getting rid of Kirby, given she would have immunity and Mark and Caroline would have been dealt with by now. This annoyed Caroline, who argued that getting rid of Kirby was the best move for him, before Mark went back to talking shit about Feras. This hilariously led to Ray calling Mark out for pandering to the jury, essentially telling him it was a really stupid idea and yas, King Ray, YAS.

With that the tribe voted and despite Mark’s best efforts to shame Feras – though that shirt really shamed himself, no? – he stuck with sweet baby Ray and forced a tie between him and Caroline. Given neither Mark or Feras were budging, JLP brought out the fire making kits and Caroline and Ray took their places alongside each other to survive. Feras sweetly got to work coaching Ray to a strong start, only for Caroline to get the first flame. Despite not being as prepped, her fire took, as Ray desperately tried to get a spark leading to us quietly watching it grow as Ray scrapped at the flint. Before Caroline burnt through the rope and eventually put Ray out of his misery.

Like Kirby before him, Ray followed my howling sobs all the way from tribal council to the Jury Villa. As soon as I saw his sweet face, I ran into his arms and broke down even further until I realised something fitting and magical – Ray is officially our Fourth Place Robbed Goddess of the season. And if that isn’t perfect and a sign that fate is real, I honestly don’t know what is. So I wiped my eyes, congratulated him on being an icon and toasted him joining the illustrious group with a punchy Raymond Chaney Temple Black.

A boozy Shirley Temple? Sign me up! The rum, lemon, lime and grenadine work perfectly to give you a nice little buzz while smacking you with the right balance of tart and sweet. Just like our famed thespian, Ray.

Enjoy!

Raymond Chaney Temple Black
Serves: 2

Ingredients
30ml grenadine
60ml dark rum
½ cup(ish) lemon and lime soda
ice, maraschino cherries and lime, to serve

Method
Fill a short glass with ice. Pour over the grenadine and rum, and stir.

Top with the soda and garnish with the cherries and a slice of lime, before downing and repeating.


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Vietnamese Riannoodle Bowleys

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Alex invited Kirby on reward to try and finally win her over. I’m not sure how almost slicing off his nipples factored into his plans, but while shaving his chest, he sure gave it a red hot go. After Ri narrowly beat him at the third endurance immunity challenge, he tried to rally the boys to come together to make a move against Kirby, deciding they needed Caroline on board to take her out. Though specifically not Kitty, given she had grown close with Kirby. There was also a plan to take out Ray which was born at the reward, though TBH, I’m not sure how close that ever was to eventuating. Alex then read everyone for filth at tribal council and in the process, turned everyone against him, so they banded together to boot him. Either as planned, or instead of their other blindsides.

The next day Ray, Kirby, Ri and Kitty hung out by the fire in silence, with Kirby in particular feeling stressed, given she can no longer fly under the radar. Kitty and Kirby spoke about how aggressively Alex played at tribal council, and as such, nobody wanted to work with him because of it. Kirby and Ri went for a walk to talk about their exact level of being screwed, with them deciding that the only way to get the target off themselves is to give everyone a better option. Quickly deciding Mark needs to go. As such, Kirby caught up with Caroline and suggested she would gladly do whatever she wants at the next tribal council. And when Caroline offered up Mark, what do you know, she was super keen. Caroline told us that she truly is concerned about building her resume, and knew that partnering with Kirby could be the ticket to making hers unbeatable.

Kirby meanwhile went to check in with Feras, with him asking if she is nervous after everything Alex said. Feras straight up told her that he doesn’t think he needs to get rid of her yet, though in two episodes, he will probably have a crack. Feras wisely, and calmly, spoke about happily voting out Mark, before talking about how they need to figure out whether they want to move forward with their allies, or whether they should look at who they could beat. With Kirby straight up suggesting her ideal final two would be her and Feras, given it would be the biggest competition and she could then say she beat the best. Feras then went for a wander with Ray, who wisely cautioned that Kirby is obviously going to say that to him, given she knows she is the one to beat. So she won’t care who she sits next to. And just like that, operation take down Kirby was back on.

As Mark, Kitty, Ri and Kirby frolicked in the ocean, Caroline got back to Pat Mullins-ing, telling us that she and Kitty are focused on keeping Ri and Kirby close enough so they will be able to get rid of Mark, given it is all she has wanted since the swap. Feras meanwhile was busy fishing, talking about how it is clear that Kirby is nervous and as such, he is confident that she is busy building a female alliance. As such, he pulled Caroline aside to run interference, telling her that Kirby told him about the all women alliance, but cautioned her plan was to get rid of Caroline next. And while it wasn’t true, it worked and Caroline was ready to chop Kirby and/or Ri. Feras then looped in Mark and Ray, while Kirby took over the watching game from Caroline, and seeing all the chats made her super nervous. Caroline then caught up with Kirby and was so friendly and high-pitched, it was clear to her that Caroline was just lying to her to keep her placated.

That night Kirby lay awake, overwhelmed by how much she is loving the game and how she will do anything to stay. As such, she woke up Feras and said that she would happily vote out Ri if it means he will keep her around. He then admitted that he has definitely heard her name being thrown around, and sadly, doesn’t see a way to stop it. Unless everyone loads up on Ri, obviously!

The tribe met up with JLP for the immunity challenge where they would race to stack a series of blocks on a plank and get them to fall like dominoes at the end. Sadly, they would also be holding a weight the entire time, and if they don’t keep it high enough, it would knock over the blocks. Almost instantly Ray and Feras knocked over their first block, as everyone struggled to get their eye in. As is oft the case the challenge was back and forth as people would start to make progress and then drop, or in Feras’ case, the wind would just blow over his blocks. Ri got out to a lead before she dropped, allowing Kitty and Kirby to power ahead, until one of Kitty’s ended up on the ground and she thought she was out of them. Which was all it took for Kirby to finish her stack, however sadly for her, they weren’t close enough, causing her to rebuild. This led to Ray, Ri and Kitty closing the gap before Kirby rebuilt and ended up falling just one short. Kitty then tried and failed, Ray tried and failed before Kirby tried one final time and finally jagged immunity.

Before she broke down in tears, wandered off to the shore and we skipped JLP popping the necklace around her neck.

Back at camp Feras and his allies quickly pivoted and locked in the plan for Ri, while Kirby tried for one last ditch attempt at getting rid of Mark. As such, she pulled Feras aside to point out that Ray and Ri just follow whatever they do but haven’t actually done anything. And as such, it is unwise of them to get rid of Ri or Ray yet, given they need them to stop the Titans from picking them off. The Titans all disappeared from camp at the same time, with Ri telling Kirby and Feras she knows she is at least copping a few votes. Ri then caught up with Kitty who straight up flubbed and told her that she would be voting for her. She then asked Caroline, whose voice went up an octave, which was the tell that it was a lie. Kirby then caught up with Kitty and Caroline, with them once again assuring her they would like to get Mark. However this time, it inspired her to flip, given the Ri vote is following the group, but she desperately wants a move on her resume, and as such, was thinking Mark was the smarter choice for her.

At tribal council Feras spoke about how busy Kirby has been back at camp after Alex’s explosive exit at the last tribal council. Caroline spoke about how it broke the tribe apart, with literally everyone reassessing how they would make it to the end. Kirby spoke about feeling the need to win immunity today, and literally all the others, as she is on display, but trust and believe, she will always fight to stay whether she has a necklace or not. Ri spoke about how happy she was to see Kirby win, though was disappointed to know it meant she is likely copping votes. She then pointed out that while she is a challenge threat, people should also look at what people are doing back at camp. Which Mark agreed was the case, going so far as to say challenges won’t win the game. This led to a little back and forth between them, trying to get the target off themselves.

Kirby turned everyone’s attention to resume building and how hard they are all working, not just to get to the end, but to be in a winning position. She then doubled down, talking about how she firmly believes that she wants to face off against the best at the end, and while it was heartfelt, Feras laughed about wanting a fun resume and that anything can deliver a win. Mark pointed out that the tribe is well and truly full of threats, though they really need to articulate things well. Ri then whispered to Kirby that they’re good, with Kirby whispering to Feras to write down Mark’s name. And while JLP called it out, they moved on as Caroline spoke about focusing on making it to the end. With that the tribe voted and despite her confidence, the tribe banded together to boot Ri. 

As she arrived at the Jury Villa I pulled Ri in and shook her hand, congratulating her on aligning with an icon and killing the endurance challenges. Specifically the ones in that frame contraption. While I’m sure she did a lot more than we were shown, poor Ri was just kind of there and while I’d love to praise her game, I just don’t know what hers was. And as such, I gave her a pat on the back, served her some Vietnamese Riannoodle Bowleys and moved on.

Unlike Ri’s edit, these bowls pack a punch and are in your face. Spicy, fresh and oh-so-more-ish, they’re the perfect thing to whip up when you’re starving and can’t decide what you want to eat.

Enjoy!

Vietnamese Riannoodle Bowleys
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 tbsp minced lemongrass
4 garlic cloves, minced
2 tbsp coriander, roughly chopped
3 tbsp soy sauce
1 tbsp honey
1 tbsp muscovado sugar
3 tbsp fish sauce
500g chicken thighs, sliced
½ cup water
3 tbsp caster sugar
1 lime, zested and juiced
1 bird’s eye chilli, thinly sliced
4 Bruce Springsteen Rolls
200g rice vermicelli noodles
sesame oil
1 head butter lettuce, roughly chopped
1 carrot, peeled and julienned
1 cucumber, julienned
1 capsicum, sliced
½ cup roasted peanuts, roughly chopped
coriander and mint leaves, to taste

Method
Combine the lemongrass, garlic, coriander, soy, honey, muscovado and 1 tablespoon of the fish sauce in a large bowl with the chicken thighs. Cover and pop in the fridge to marinate for a few hours. 

While the chicken is getting juiced, combine the water, caster sugar, lime juice and bird’s eye chilli with the remaining fish sauce in a jug. Whisk, cover and pop in the fridge to come together.

When you’re getting hungry, cook the spring rolls as per Bruce’s recipe and the rice noodles per packet directions, and prep the veg for the bowls.

Heat a large skillet over medium heat and add a good lug of sesame oil. When shimmering and fragrant, add the chicken and stir fry for a few minutes, or until cooked through. Add all the marinade and continue to cook until it is sticky and caramelised on the outside.

To assemble, pop some lettuce in the bowl, topped by the noodles. Arrange the veg together, cut up the spring rolls and place next to the veg before popping the chicken in the final third. Sprinkle with peanuts and herbs, followed by a generous splash of the dressing. And then devour.


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Sheeta Panaj Lemon Chicken

Main, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World 2, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World the dolls created an immersive experience for fans that promotes everything we love about the ever-expanding franchise, Drag Race World. While Scarlet was quickly able to identify this one as a branding challenge, and given she has a marketing degree, took control and absolutely slayed the game. Tia meanwhile tried desperately to keep Keta and Marina on task, in their group and while she was able to join Scarlet in the top, Keta was too much of a mess and landed in the bottom. With Jonbers, who was just flat as not a joke landed, while LGD and Hannah shone. In deliberations, Keta offered Tia some massages, while Jonbers worried that Scarlet was intimidated by her killer looks. Which may have been proven, as after Scarlet won the lip sync, she promptly booted Jonbers.

Backstage Scarlet was thrilled to finally grab her first solo win over the course of her three seasons, particularly since she felt sending a UK doll home was iconic. She felt her oats while cleaning the mirror, as Choriza felt that sending an icon like Jonbers home meant that the contest is really on. Keta thanked Scarlet for saving her, with Scarlet explaining her top performance in the ball is what tipped her over the edge, given she would like others to base decisions on her track record. Tia then tried to do a fake-out, pretending that she voted for Keta, before admitting that she too would have sent Jonbers home given she literally was just in the top two and has been slaying. Also, as she told us, eliminating one of the UK dolls means the target on her, Choriza and Gothy, is that much smaller with Jonbers gone.

The next day the mood was honestly full party mode as the dolls conga-ed into another week, while Marina just modelled, given she is an icon. The three victors showed off their badges as Hannah joked about being the queen of the safe club and as such, was grateful her target wasn’t so large. Ru then dropped by and quickly announced that this week the dolls would be playing the Snatch Game. Family Edition. Which obviously filled Tia with dread, given it is the challenge she went home. And as the winner of last week’s challenge, Scarlet had the power to select her family.

Everyone sat down to talk through the challenge, with Hannah, LGD and Keta proudly being past winners, while Choriza and Tia were terrified, given it was the challenge they went home on. Marina was happy with her OG performance, which is iconic to those in the Philippines, while Gothy and Scarlet were about to lose their Snatch Game virginity, and were equal parts nervous and excited. With that out of the way, Scarlet picked her family, going with Hannah, Choriza and Tia. Leaving the three ESL queens together, and Gothy, who is super shy, which feels shady. Which I love and hate. The families split up, with Scarlet announcing she will be making her debut as the Statue of Liberty, Tia was going with Anne Boleyn, while Choriza was going to be Henry VIII’s first wife, Catherine of Aragon.

Before we could learn who Hannah was doing, Ru dropped by to kiki, laughing at Tia finally jagging a win before she announced she will be Anne Boleyn, which delighted Ru. As Tia vowed to smash it out of the park. LGD was going with Carla Bruni, which made Ru nervous, as the double French accent was becoming hard to understand. Marina is following Melinda Verga’s footsteps with some Manny Pacquiao, while Ru was equally delighted by Choriza’s choice to play Catherine of Aragon. Which is good that she is Spanish, because her English accent isn’t great. Though better than Marina’s TBH, but damn they are charming. Keta will be bringing Fran Drescher, while Hannah is following in Jimbo’s footsteps as Shirley Temple. But make it Megan the doll. Side note: both of these repeats were filmed BEFORE the others aired, so these are not copycats, ok? Ru was delighted by Scarlet’s choice of Statue of Liberty and a little nervous for Gothy giving Kim Woodburn. And ugh, her nerves are going to get to her and I hate it.

We ventured to the Snatch Game: Family Edition set as Team Scarlet were led by Sinitta, while the rest were led by guest Jane McDonald. Team McDonald all stuck with their OG choices, with LGD cute, Keta started off strong, but lacked the jokes while Marina, like Melinda, was an icon as Manny. And poor Gothy just straight up bombed. Team Sinitta also stuck with their plans where Hannah was demented – though not as demented as Jimbo, obvi – Scarlet was iconic, Choriza was glorious and Tia stole the show holding her own head in her hands. Tragically the international girls all really struggled competing in their second language, though thankfully Marina did land a few killer blows. Scarlet was a powerhouse and Choriza filthy, though it was Tia and Hannah who really owned Snatch Game, hopefully leaving us with another two-time victor and some much needed rudemption.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls in varying moods as Hannah was feeling her oats, Scarlet was thrilled to do a good job on her first go, while Gothy knew she bombed and felt she did worse than she even thought possible. Keta too, knew she bombed, while LGD knew their family were far and away the shittest. Knowing they need to do a good job, the dolls split up to get ready for their runways to hopefully save them. Talk turned to the dating scenes in their respective countries, with LGD opening up about being a romantic, though looking forward to being a little looser too. Marina admitted that she is perennially single, given there is too much beauty. Hannah joked about importing her favourite d, her Geordie boyfriend. While Scarlet and Gothy just desperately wanted to have a loving drag husband. Gothy opened up about not knowing who she is and how can’t love someone else until she figures it out and ugh, Gothy is just such a sweet, tragic figure in the franchise. Isn’t she?

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined on the panel by knitting king Tom Daley as the dolls stomped the runway in Gone Cruisin’ looks. Keta gave patchwork pirate and ugh, she looked so stunning I mean, she even had an anchor nipple ring. Choriza was gorgeous in a blue and white latex mini with tentacles, LGD gave high fashion genuine sailor stripes in Gaultier, while Scarlet gave first class victim of the Titanic and Gothy gave baby Birth of Venus in the cutest way possible. Hannah gave Picnic at Hanging Rock on the ocean, but made it nightgown, Tia gave Ozempic Ursula – aka Karen the Kraken – and Marina closed the show with water heels and titties as a straight up sexy boat. And yeah, it was another slay.

Choriza and Marina were sent to safety before Keta was read for only just giving a laugh, and lacking the energy and fun of Fran. Which was tragically all there in her runway, which was excellence upon excellence. Tia meanwhile got wall to wall praise for being stupid and smart in equal measure as Anne Boleyn, and they also loved the runway, despite its simplicity. They wished LGD gave more and had fun, though obviously lived for her straight up perfect runway. Scarlet was praised for doing a solid job and looking perfect as Rose without her door from Titanic. Poor Gothy was read for just giving nothing in Snatch Game, and being too simple on the runway. While Hannah received wall to wall praise for being dumb and manic, and looking stunning.

Ultimately Tia and Hannah were deemed the top two of the week, and Scarlet and LGD were sent to safety leaving Keta Minaj and Gothy Kendoll up for elimination. Backstage Hannah and Tia were feeling their oats, while Choriza was gutted to be the new queen of the safe club. Tia opened up about how weird it is to be winning challenges, while Hannah was sad to elect a new president for her club in Choriza. Everyone spoke about how stunning LGD’s runway is, though they laughed about her choice of pizza boxer briefs underneath. Hannah checked in with Gothy whole was weeping quiet tears, while Keta was more upbeat about her bomb. Scarlet clocked Gothy for deciding she will be bad and as such, being bad in all the challenges.

Hannah caught up with Gothy to let her know how much she loves her, with Gothy talking about how difficult the contest is and how it keeps her stuck in her head. Hannah tried to get the fight from her, asking what Gothy needs to succeed. Though she seemed too broken to muster a tangible answer. Tia told Keta how strong she knows she is, though also noted that she has now been in the bottom twice in a row. They traded places with Keta telling Hannah that while she isn’t funny, she has a fire to be here and is ready to fight. Which both delighted and made Hannah scared that she could beat her in the end. Gothy spoke to Tia about how much the competition means to her, though worried about how she will be able to apply the judges feedback. With Tia straight up asking if she can cut it, or whether she should eliminate her as Keta is ready to fight each and every episode.

After Tia and Hannah selected their lipsticks, they ventured back to the mainstage as Ru pulled out the wireless and popped on Alcazar’s Crying at the Discotheque. And damn, the dolls turned a show. Though like Jimbo before her, Hannah tragically failed by not lip syncing as Shirley Temple. So while she hit every lyric and gave sex, Tia gave camp and emotion in equal measure, which was all it took to take out victory and claim her first badge. And then promptly saved her UK sister and showed Keta the door.

As Keta arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that while she was robbed, it still remains the best way to go if you’re going to place in the middle of the pack. Which she eventually agreed was true. I mean, look what happened to Pangina and Jimbo? Universally beloved and everyone is gagging for more, while Jujubee stayed consistent and made it to the end, but with a whimper and now we can’t have her back every year or so. Which honestly, is a travesty. I went on this exact rant with Keta and while she got bored in the middle, I brought it back to her situation and how bright her future may be. Which cheered her up as much as eating a big ol’ Sheeta Panaj Lemon Chicken.

This is the perfect mid-week meal, for when you need something warm and comforting, but are also close to tears as the weight of work and life gets to you. What, just me? Oh well, try it on a Wednesday night and you will understand.

Enjoy!

Sheeta Panaj Lemon Chicken
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1kg chicken breasts, diced
¼ cup extra virgin olive oil
8 cloves garlic, minced
1 tbsp smoked paprika
2 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp chilli flakes
1 tsp dried oregano
¼ tsp cinnamon
¼ tsp ground coriander seeds
kosher salt and black pepper
2 sweet potatoes, cut into thick chips
200g Jaida Essence Halloumi, sliced
1 lemon, quartered
1 cucumber, sliced
1 batch Aileen Choddess Dressing
1 cup Sierra Dawn-Hummus
4 Pita Andre Breads

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C. 

In a bowl, toss together the chicken with half the oil, the garlic, paprika, cumin, chilli, oregano, cinnamon, coriander, and a pinch of salt. 

While that does a quick little marinade, toss the sweet potato in the remaining oil with a good whack of salt and pepper. Spread on a lined baking sheet and pop in the oven for 15 minutes. Remove from the oven, flip and push to one end, adding the chicken, halloumi and lemon. Return to the oven to bake for a further 20 minutes, or until the chicken is golden and the chips crispy.

To serve, line a bowl with the Aileen Choddess Dressing, divide the chicken, chips and halloumi, dollop over the hummus, sprinkle with cucumber coins and squeeze over the caramelised lemon. Then devour, greedily, with a pita.


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Aileen Choddess Dressing

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Condiment, Sauce, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Jaden woke up after Winna’s blindside. Both literally, in the middle of the night to workout, and figuratively in the game, given he literally spent the first month vibing, joking and having a good time. Mark won a car at an epic reward challenge – costing him the season in the process – and used an epic BBQ reward to help Valeria, Kitty and Caroline reconcile. At immunity challenge, Jaden didn’t go for the joke and give up, snatching his first win. With the Titans seemingly back together, Eden tried to rally the troops to get rid of Ray and weaken the Rebels. At tribal council, however, Feras and the Rebels felt something was up and decided to load their votes on Eden. And then on the revote, Jaden flipped to send Eden home, for getting rid of Winna.

Aka another perfect Shonee-esque revenge arc.

The next day Caroline pulled Feras aside to apologise for turning on him mere hours after forming an alliance. She then went back to the shelter, where Kitty was sobbing, heartbroken for superfan Eden. While Ray literally sat beneath them laughing about being the number one physical threat on the tribe, so it makes sense they were targeting him of all people. Then awkwardly laughing about how his jokes just don’t seem to be landing for them. Feras and Aileen caught up by the well, trying to figure out who could actually be useful for their game moving forward. Feras opened up to us about how much he relies on Aileen to edit his ideas and keep him in check. He listed off the potential allies, Kitty and Caroline, and Jaden, and even Kirby at this point. But given every mention of Kirby’s name leads to rattlesnakes, I feel like Aileen may be voted out to weaken Feras.

Feras then went back to Caroline to assure her that there are no hard feelings and that he would love to ride it to the end with her and Kitty. He then returned to camp to chat to Aileen and Alex, while Kirby looked on suspiciously. She opened up to us about how she has been sitting back and watching post-merge, but feels like she has collected as much information as she needs to make a move. Starting with getting rid of Aileen, so that Feras has no other option but to align with her. And again, why didn’t they just align on day one and not bicker, you know?

The tribe met JLP in the middle of the jungle for the Survivor Auction with each getting $500 to spend, and as usual, the auction would end at any time without notice. Ray went hard for popcorn and lemonade, spending $400, and ugh, I love to see our king win. Aileen spent $500 for a covered item which ended up being fried chicken. Despite Ray trying to spend $100 for pizza, Kirby won it for $500. Caroline spent $420 for brownies, ice cream and diarrhoea in about half an hour. Parmie and beer went to Valeria for $120, which honestly is such a bargain. Even though she gave the beer to JLP. Feras then pointed out he would like whatever is under a box off to the side, with him straight up paying his entire $500 for. Which was money well spent from an oral health perspective, as it was a toothbrush, toothpaste and some mints to take back to camp. As he brushed his teeth, Ray found a little surprise in his popcorn, which is what we can assume Feras thought would be hidden under the aforementioned box.

Back at camp Feras offered everyone a little mint as they chuckled about his misfortune, while Raymond excused himself to learn that his advantage is an interesting little twist on an idol, where if every single person votes for him, his vote becomes the only one that counts. And to make it even more exciting, he has to use it in the next three tribal councils. Dangerous but fun, so thankfully Ray found it as he is a king. He returned to camp to loop in Feras and ugh, why do I now get the sad feeling he is going home tonight. Not my sweet angel Ray-Ray!

That night Kirby couldn’t sleep as the potential options continued to spin around her head. She knew that Feras is somebody she wanted to work with and as such, she needed Aileen out if it is ever going to work. She woke Feras up to assure him that she is definitely Rebel strong as a cover, throwing out Mark as her main target with a split on Caroline. And while it is all I lie, their banter is such a joy that I just wish she was up front with him to solidify their power couple status. We then got a 3am timestamp to show that Kirby is still wide awake, as Jaden caught up with her to talk about how Eden betrayed him and the Titans kept leaving him out of chats, thus turning on them. As such, she played into what he needed from her, chatting through options and casually suggesting the two of them and Rianna work with the OG Titans to get rid of Aileen next.

The next morning Kirby was energised, despite no sleep, so she and Rianna pulled Kitty aside to let Her know what the Rebels were planning. But assured her they have a lifeline for Caroline, and that is if all the Titans stick together and vote Aileen. And while they aren’t 100% they can trust Kirby, they are also kind of screwed and had to. Kitty pulled Caroline, Mark and Valeria aside, with Mark and Caroline very much against the idea of turning on Feras, while Kitty and Valeria agreed that Kirby will stick with the Rebels if they don’t agree to work with her.

The tribe caught up with JLP for the immunity challenge where they would hold onto a rope to balance a disc while walking back and forth down a lane to stack blocks on top of it. Jaden got out to an early lead, calmly powering along, as everyone else nipped at his heels. Well, except for Kirby, who could only vibe with one block. Tragically after loading up the sixth block, Jaden dropped and had to start over, allowing Aileen to take out the lead with Feras nipping at her heels. For a second, as he too dropped. Aileen continued to power ahead as Kitty closed the gap, though her nerves really kicked in as she started to walk back to the mat after stacking all the blocks. As she barely moved, Kitty closed the gap and tried to overtake before Aileen dropped them all only centimetres from the mat. Giving Kitty all the time in the world to work her way back and collect immunity.

Back at camp Kitty gave her sympathy to Aileen for dropping so close to the end before Feras pulled the Rebels aside to lock in the vote against Mark. He and Aileen went for a walk in the jungle to lock in the vote split, while figuring out how to apologise to Caroline after. He caught up with Caroline to let her know that while the Rebels want her gone, he and Aileen were able to flip things to Mark instead, but assured her that they can still trust each other despite the fact she will be seeing her name come up. Kirby and Jaden, meanwhile, were giggling about their plan coming together. She then got Valeria and Kitty to keep Mark and Caroline from spiralling, given she doesn’t want Feras to see her discussing anything and spooking him. Caroline told the trio that Feras warned her that votes were coming her way and as such, she was terrified. Kitty tried to keep them together as Caroline reiterated that they just don’t know if they can trust Kirby.

Feras and Alex watched on, clocking how nervous they were and as such, caught up with Caroline. She denied having heard any names which made Feras more and more nervous that something was afoot, given it is very clear she was lying to him. He then went in search of Kitty, knowing she is far more likely to crack, pledging his undying allegiance to her while she continued to be evasive. Alex joined them, as Feras continued to push hard for information until she eventually mentioned she promised to stick to their plan. Ray, Feras and Alex figured out that Kirby must be part of what the Titans think they have planned, so the Rebels decided to lock in all their votes for Mark to minimise the risk of errors. Caroline continued to spiral, crying in Kitty’s arms about how nervous she is and that she doesn’t know if she could trust Kirby. While Kirby was busy being awkward with Feras and Ray when they tried to joke around with her and while the newbies aren’t the best gamers, they do make for great TV.

At tribal council Feras spoke about his hope that the Rebels would be able to stick together for at least a few rounds, while Kirby joked about the Titans clearly being sitting ducks. Caroline continued to lead with her nerves, stating this is the most nervous she has felt all game long. Alex likened the scramble to the school yard, particularly how quickly relationships can end. Kitty joked about being grateful she is safe given the drama, while Valeria shared how hopeful she is to have found some cracks. Given a few people have become way too confident and as such, they need to go ASAP. Particularly those with idols. Kirby then reiterated it might be time for Alex to play his, as Aileen confirmed not one has been played correctly yet. Yet. Feras started to whisper to Aileen about the fact Kirby has clearly flipped on them and as such, they tried to figure out how to save themselves. Kirby spoke about how she and Rianna felt like they’re on the bottom of the majority, with today being the first time she has heard a name. Which is better than the last few rounds.

With that the tribe voted, Alex made a show of not playing his idol before Aileen was gagged to find herself blindsided from the game. At the very least, to become the Queen of the Jury. As she arrived at the Jury Villa, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that while she wasn’t the standout character of the season, it was clear she is an epic gamer and as such, seems primed for a return. Given her threat will be lower, while her skillz are clearly high. Which was such a great pep talk that she perked right up and got to joyfully smashing a vat of Aileen Choddess Dressing together.

While their are many variations on what constitutes a goddess dressing or sauce, the one consistency, is their bright, freshness. And therefore, this well and truly fits the bill. Zingy and packing a punch, it works on just about anything and will have you coming back for more and more.

Enjoy!

Aileen Choddess Dressing
Serves: 2 dear friends.

Ingredients
2 avocados, halved
¼ cup greek yoghurt, plus extra to taste
½ cup coriander
½ cup basil
1 jalapeño, halved and seeded
1 lemon, zested and juiced
1 tsp cumin
1 garlic clove, minced
kosher salt and black pepper, to taste

Method
Pop everything in a blender or food processor, and blitz until smooth, adding a tablespoon of yoghurt at a time until it reaches your desired consistency.

Season to taste, then devour as you see fit.


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Eden Portato & Burrata Pizza

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, Pizza, Street Food, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor the Middle Aged Mafia were out to get revenge on Val and Mark, after they had tried (and failed) to get rid of Kitty at the tribal council before. After a hard fought battle, Ri won immunity over the other challenge beast of the season, Aileen, making her feel super smug and confident about her place in the tribe. Despite the fact she has essentially bumbled through despite herself, thus far. Kirby, Val and Mark locked in a vote against Caroline to surprise the opposition, when they would assume Kitty is still their target. While Caroline and Kitty instead tried to woo Feras to get rid of Winna. And given Winna was rude to Feras and Aileen, they gladly joined because the theme of the season is revenge. Alex and Ri were given hinky votes, to ensure a majority, leaving them and Jaden very surprised as Winna went home.

The next day things were still rainy and miserable, unless you were Kitty and Caroline, who were thrilled to have survived and taken control with Feras. We flashed back to the night before where the trio locked in an alliance, vowing not to let anyone else get in their ears and to ride it to the end. Caroline approached Mark to confront him, cussing him out for the fact he keeps gunning for her, assuring him that she has never thrown his name out. When she has, multiple times. In the cold light of day, however, she was more hurt by Valeria’s comments at tribal, as she called her worthless and weak. As Valeria caught up with Ri, Kirby and Aileen to tell them she never said anything mean at tribal, so feels really good. 

Eden and Raymond were busy serving Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, commenting on how rude Valeria was at tribal council and how the tribe is now in chaos. As Alex comforted Caroline in the shelter, Eden decided it was time to wake Jaden up and get him to stop singing and being a delight, and instead, play the game. First step being to reunite the Titans, and play the middle until all the Rebels are gone (which is also the Rebels plan). Leaving Feras as long as possible as a shield, and instead targeting people like Raymond. So apologies Eden, but I have no choice but to cancel my stan card as nobody comes for my King. Next step for Eden’s flop plan was to pull Mark aside and float it, with Mark reiterating that Kitty and Caroline hate him, so it is kind of pointless.

The tribe met up with JLP for the reward challenge where they would compete in stages. In round one they would split into two teams, racing to use water to fill buckets to release a gate. Stage two they would form two smaller teams to use monkey fists to release nine flags to progress, while the final three would race to solve a puzzle. With the winner jagging a car and an Aussie BBQ to celebrate, though tragically being cursed into losing the game. Alex quickly got his eye in for the blue team, getting the rest to fill buckets while he filled the bigger buckets, which proved effective, meaning Mark, Kitty and Valeria, and Eden, Caroline and Alex faced off in round two. Once again Alex and Eden slayed, while Caroline struggled and madly tried to release her flags. Sadly that was all it took for Mark, Valeria and Kitty to overtake and move on to round three. Which Mark absolutely dominated, handing him a car but ruling him out as our winner, I’m afraid.

After sobbing though his victory, he was given the chance to bring someone along to enjoy the reward, locking in Kitty and then Valeria, given they were both in the final round. JLP then let him pick one more, with him opting for Caroline, which immediately spooked all the Rebels into realising something was afoot. While Valeria looked ready to kill him.

Back at camp the losers rallied around, heartbroken to be starving and carless. Ri and Alex lead the tribe in talking about how odd Mark’s choices were, given it clearly pointed out that they were hoping to make some moves at the next tribal council. Though I think Eden was potentially just jealous he wasn’t eating, as the rest of the tribe laughed about Caroline and Valeria’s tension. Speaking of which, we checked in with the world’s most awkward BBQ as Valeria and Caroline refused to even look at each other, and Mark tried to get everyone to see they needed to work together. But first, they had to clear the air. Valeria kicked things off explaining why Caroline is weak, namely her emotions. Given she didn’t apologise, Caroline wasn’t thrilled and rightly pointed out it is the harshest thing anyone has ever said to her. With Valeria eventually, finally, apologising. Before they all agreed to wipe the slate clean and have new beginnings.

As Caroline told us she still doesn’t trust Mark. Ugh.

That night as the tribe slept, Jaden couldn’t sleep, so instead got to working out and vowed to us that he is ready to avenge Winna and take control. Making the most of the fact everyone is underestimating him. As he promised Eden he is going to win the next immunity challenge, he somehow time travelled and manifested JLP for the very thing. Where they would each have to balance an idol on a pole, which they would slowly have to extend over time. Everyone made it through to their fourth length of pole before Caroline dropped. She was quickly followed by Kitty and Aileen. At fifteen minutes, they added their fifth length of pole, causing Raymond and Valeria to drop before Eden’s pole straight up crumbled. Alex and Feras were next to drop as those that had been eliminated marvelled at how strong Ri is at all the challenges. They then added a sixth segment, which saw Mark and Ri drop, followed by a long-suffering Kirby, handing my boy Jaden victory.

Back at camp the tribe all congratulated Jaden on his victory as he just laughed it up and was an all round delight. Because duh. Eden pulled Raymond, Feras, Alex and Aileen aside to lock in a split vote between Ri and Valeria. Sadly for them, it is their decoy vote, as the Titans planned to take out King Ray. Which again, is a shit idea, as I love Ray. Eden looped in Jaden and Mark, who were delighted by how fun of an idea it is, particularly since Mark wanted the Titans to reunite and slay. Eden then looped in Caroline, with her ropeable at the idea of getting rid of Ray instead of Val. With her rightly pointing out to Eden that crossing Feras means that she will be screwed out of ever working with the Rebels again. She caught up with Kitty, who was equally nervous about crossing Feras, agreeing the timing was just not right. The ladies caught up with Eden to reiterate that this decision to target Ray guarantees the Rebels will turn on them straight after the vote, with him expertly assuring them that it won’t matter, given they will have the numbers anyway. Which makes sense, but also doesn’t, given how splintered everyone is.

Kirby and Ri caught up in the shelter, completely in the dark about what is being planned for tribal council. With Ri suggesting she will ask Eden, given he isn’t a good liar. He straight up told her that the majority were planning to vote for her, with Kirby reiterating that she simply needs to play her idol to keep them safe. Eden then went to chat to Kitty again, which made Feras very nervous that something is afoot. He caught up with Ray before detouring to Caroline to see if she is across what is being planned. He told her that he had heard Ray and Aileen’s names had been thrown around, with her denying it and laying it on thick that she and Kitty were the only ones that haven’t lied to him. He then cross checked with Kitty and while they both denied it, Feras still didn’t feel right. So would be trusting his gut after the vote. And oh god, don’t make this Ray blindside actually work?!

At tribal council Mark spoke about how he simply invited Caroline on reward as they needed time to mend fences or heal wounds, rather than mend wounds. Caroline admitted it was a surprise for her, though she appreciated the chance to clear the air. Talk turned to her feud with Valeria, with them agreeing they were able to talk it out and all is good now. The Rebels all started to grow nervous, whispering amongst themselves to figure out if the Titans were now tight. Ray laughed about how he is buying they are actually kumbaya and as such, he is a little nervous. As Eden and Mark whispered, Feras hoped that tribal council would go as they had planned back at camp. Which clearly stressed out Kitty, talking about how she is struggling with all the lying.

This was all the Rebels needed to know something was afoot and as such, suggested writing Eden’s name instead. Alex then got up to talk to Feras and figure out what is planned, with everyone locking in on Eden. While Alex tried to downplay the whispers as just confirming the alliance were on the same page. With that the tribe voted, Ri played her idol for herself while Feras tragically held onto his, as the Titans held firm and loaded their votes on Ray. Thankfully the Rebels all loaded their votes on Eden, making it a cheeky little tie between the boys. With that, everyone but Eden and Raymond revoted, and thankfully, Jaden flipped, leading to Eden exiting the game as our final pre-juror (I assume) and saving my sweet King Raymond.

As Eden arrived at Loser Lodge he was rightly disappointed, though was glad to go out in such an iconic way. Which honestly is the only silver lining, right? Eden once again gave hope to the superfans, playing a solid, stealth game which tragically ended up leading to his demise, as he truly was the centre of the Titans alliance. I gave him a massive hug and assured him that we will definitely see him again and as such, we got to work planning his second run. Which was the least I could do, honestly, as not only did he not make the jury, he was brought down by the infamous Survivor Pizza Curse. Thankfully, though, he knew that made his exit even more iconic, so we toasted his run with a glorious Eden Portato & Burrata Pizza.

This rustic, earthy pizza is oh so delicious. The roasted potato is sweet and crisp, the mushrooms provide a richness while the oozing burrata to finish adds the level of luxe which makes it hard to hold a grudge.

Enjoy!

Eden Portato & Burrata Pizza
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
½ cup Toni Basil Pesto
2 potatoes, thinly sliced
2 cups small mushrooms, halved or quartered
4 garlic cloves, minced
3 sprigs thyme, leaves removed
1 tsp chilli flakes
2 tsp rosemary leaves, roughly chopped
2 tsp lemon zest
1 cup swiss cheese, grated
250g burrata cheese, at room temperature

Method
Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 180°C.

Smear the bases with the pesto, potatoes, mushrooms, garlic, thyme, chilli, rosemary and lemon zest, followed by the swiss cheese. Pop it in the oven to bake for 15 minutes, or until bubbly and golden.

Remove from the oven and serve piping hot with the cracked burrata on top. Before devouring, like a dateable icon, who sadly missed the jury.


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Shirley Tempelli Harris

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Drink, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the Titans were way ahead in the immunity challenge before Jaden Jaden-ed, scoring goal after goal to guarantee the Rebels’ safety. The OG Titans and Kirby’s alliance quickly locked in a plan to split the votes on Feras and Aileen at tribal council, so had a relatively calm afternoon. Sadly for them, at tribal council, JLP unveiled a twist where the tribe would compete in another challenge, with the first three to finish scoring their votes and immunity. Aileen, Kirby and Feras won the challenge, meaning the duo on the outs were now in control. Winna desperately tried to lure the votes to him, so he could idol someone out with Kirby’s vote. Sadly not realising Feras and Aileen could and did split, leading to Charles going home on a revote, keeping King Ray on the screen.

Which again, is v. Shonee coded.

We checked in with the Rebels the next day where Jaden was showing off the island fashions he had woven and was being an all around delight. Even better, he knew it, loving that everyone just thinks he is a charmer and as such, aren’t taking him seriously as a threat. Which for someone that athletic, is a magical win. Back at the Titans, Raymond sacrificed Charles’ socks to the fire and while all the OG Rebels were having a good old laugh. Valeria wasn’t so happy, disappointed that one of their numbers went home. Though grateful Kirby stayed loyal to them and as such, was confident she could ride the remaining numbers to merge. And while they were kinda off Feras, they were more against Aileen as she was too much of a flipper. Aileen caught up with Valeria, Winna and Kirby who continued to berate her for voting with Feras, questioning why she didn’t do exactly what they wanted and play their game, rather than her own. Essentially. Which is just, ugh, TBH.

The Rebels tribe were far more harmonious as they played charades and were all just vibing. Eden was grateful to be in the majority of the tribe and while that was good, he also knew it was time to start thinking a few steps ahead. Mark caught up with Caroline and Kitty to reiterate that he wants to reconcile, and debated the merits of keeping Ri or Alex. With the girls incorrectly suggesting keeping Ri was a good idea, so they can align with her allies, rather than having a free agent in Alex. Caroline and Kitty caught up with Ri, who was busy pointing out that Mark is too much of a threat and would hook back up with Winna and Valeria come the merge, and as such, he needs to go ASAP. And of course Ri is going to orchestrate someone’s exit. Though I guess this time was at least deliberate, rather than her doing something dumb, so that is a win.

My love JLP made his triumphant return for the immunity challenge where the tribes would hold onto ropes over a pyramid, with the last ones standing jagging immunity. Everyone survived phase one with two footholds, so after ten minutes, they moved higher up the pyramid, using a single foothold. This still wasn’t difficult, so at the twenty minute mark, they moved to the top without a foothold. And almost instantly, everyone started to struggle. Mark was first to drop, followed by Caroline and Kirby, the first out from the Titans. Raymond was next to go, followed by Jaden, Winna, Eden, Valeria and Scott, leaving Kelli and Aileen fighting for Titans, against Alex, Kitty and Rianna for the Rebels. Sweat cost Alex his place, followed by Kelli, leaving Aileen battling alone at the 45 minute mark. After an hour and twenty minutes, JLP got bored, so made them go down to a single hand with Kitty and Rianna playing a relaxed approach, while Aileen knotted herself amongst the rope. Which was all it took, as Kitty and Rianna dropped, handing Titans immunity and Aileen the status of challenge beast of the season.

Back at camp Mark was confident the Middle Aged Mafia would hold firm at tribal council, simply needing to pick who goes out of Alex or Rianna. They all caught up by the well, locking in a split between Rianna and Alex, with Alex the ultimate target. Instead of going to loop in Jaden, Caroline and Kitty found Rianna and pledged their loyalty to each other before locking the vote in on Mark, to ensure they can spin the Viola vote however they want. They split up, with Rianna going to share the plan for Jaden and Alex, which honestly seems sloppy, as she is terrible, but she managed not to stuff it up.Yet.

Mark meanwhile was feeling good, grateful that the Middle Aged Mafia were back together and ready to get rid of one of the Rebels. Mark conveniently was involved in most conversations, so the Titans started to get confused about what their real and fake plans were, with things getting a little bit awkward as they caught up in the shelter and Mark started to point out how they kept changing things up. Caroline and Eden caught up, with him confused why they were turning on Mark, so Caroline flip-flopped back to getting them to vote out Alex. While poor sweet Jaden just chuckled along, confused about what in the hell was going on. Though he did rock suspiciously clean hair and clothes in the confessional.

At tribal council Kitty spoke about how they have successfully healed relationships, while Eden spoke about how they have always been playing, despite a nice break from attending tribal council. Mark admitted he was grateful for the time away, and hopeful it let things breathe so they could come up with a solid alliance heading into the merge. Caroline spoke about finding the right time to solidify alliances and making moves, while Alex admitted he is nervous each and every tribal council. While Jaden started whispering with Mark and Kitty, still not sure who he was voting for. This made Mark nervous, as the OG Rebels grew paranoid about what in the hell was going on, before Caroline started whispering to Rianna to let her know that Alex was the target.

Well, that is until JLP announced that the tribal council would play out a little differently tonight. Instead, all names that land in the urn would be at risk of switching over to the Titans. One by one everyone will vote and every name in the urn would then have to draw rocks and the one to draw blue joining the Titans. Everyone split up to start whispering again, with the OG Titans deciding they should load all their votes on Alex given he has less alliances over there. Eden spoke up, pointing out that making the wrong choice could really set someone up for success by solidifying a power alliance. Caroline urged them to stick to the plan, while Kitty admitted that she has no interest in bouncing back to the other side, given life is sweet over here, while Rianna knew she was sweet either way. Alex spoke about being open to flip, given they are a clearly tight five and he is likely to be booted if they go back to tribal. While Mark just worried where Alex’s single vote could land, as Caroline panicked to Eden that Mark is the only person they can’t have going to the Titans.

With that the tribe voted, split between Alex and Rianna, with Alex heading out to join the Titans. Being reunited with his bestie Kelli, which is just so sweet, isn’t it! Presumably there was no screaming like Kelli as he arrived, so we checked in with the Titans the next day as everyone talked about being surprised to see him. Kelli joked that she thought it was a nightmare with their banter quickly turning into an argument and oh god, how I have missed their sexual tension. They then moved on to Kelli lecturing about people finding conflict with trying to rationalise death, as Alex tried to zen through it. Kelli shared it was her son’s 18th birthday, rallying the tribe to celebrate him as she spoke through tears about how much she loves him. And her dog, who is also turning one that day. The tribe then placed flowers in the water for them, which was sweet, as Feras tried not to laugh. Which wasn’t as sweet.

Feras and Raymond pulled Alex aside to give him a tour of the camp, and quickly locked him in as a number for their side. While they were away, Kirby looped in her allies, knowing Alex was a lost cause, so instead threw out idea of getting rid of Raymond. Which thankfully pissed off Kelli, who was not willing to eliminate someone that supported her from day one. Kirby and Valeria tried to talk her through their plans, asking her to think beyond a single tribal council to see the bigger picture. Which made her angrier, given she doesn’t have a relationship with Winna and Val, and it is her son’s birthday. She asked to speak privately with Kirby, cussing her out for getting too close to the Titans and not wanting to budge on saving Raymond. Going so far as to point out the other alliance is growing stronger, implying a flip is afoot.

The tribes reunited with JLP for the latest reward challenge where they wouldn’t compete at all, and instead, all be able to sit down for some food and dranks. Or get a scroll with specific directions to the location of an idol at each camp. Obviously Aileen, Feras and Alex all went for scrolls at Titans, while Rianna, Mark and Eden opted in at Rebels, immediately bouncing from the site. The, I want to say victors, sat down at the table to start smashing their feast, grateful to have some sustenance. Everyone was hugging and introducing themselves, high on snacks and vibing. Well, except for Valeria, who immediately got to work questioning Caroline and Kitty about what happened to Viola. And while Caroline pretended she just played too hard, Kitty was a little more honest and as such, Valeria knew it was bullshit. And vowed to get them out ASAP.

We checked in with the Rebels where they all split up to hunt for the idol, which Rianna quickly snatched as the boys scaled the tree. Which is obviously the worst case scenario for poor Mark, who I am rooting for over Ri, given her decisions are always bad. And smug Kirby isn’t very fun, TBH. Speaking of the current queen of the Titans, she was thrilled to be making new friends and feasting, given she is in control and doesn’t need the idol. Her words. As she watched over everything going on, she spotted Kelli whispering to Kitty about the current state of play on the Titans tribe. Straight up telling Kitty to go for Kirby if she goes home, given she is the one calling the shots. Switching over to those not calling the shots, Feras, Alex and Aileen started hunting for the idol with the former immediately spotting it. Leaving it for the other two to grab, given it is a very public idol and he didn’t want to be a target because of it. Sadly for him, Alex and Aileen just couldn’t see it, until he spoon fed them the idol and let Alex claim it.

Everyone came together for the next immunity challenge where, in the ocean, they would race to collect three balls and land them in baskets, while the other tribe ran interference. Round one saw Mark and Rianna face off against Kirby and Feras, with the duos tying things up at two before doing fierce battle until the Rebels finally scored. And then Ri quickly told Kirby she has the idol. Next was a one on one between Kitty and Aileen, if you could call it that, as Kitty dominated and jagged another point for the Rebels. Winna and Raymond then faced off against Jaden and Mark, which was essentially just Mark shooting hoops and scoring immunity for the Rebels, as Jaden took his sons for a swim.

Back at camp, Kirby was ready to take a shot on Kelli, given her chaos has finally started to impact her game as well as the rest of the tribes. First stop was talking to Scott and Feras, with the latter pointing out Alex got the idol. And to reward the honesty, Scott threw out that they desperately want Kelli out as she is a mess. Particularly since they are going to face off against serious gamers at the merge, making Kirby finally realise that they need to work together. Everyone locked in the plan to get rid of Kelli while Raymond played babysitter. After he let her run free, she started to worry that there is potential for a blindside, so got to work hunting for an idol. She then looped him in, essentially telling him he owes her and requested he hunts for an idol for her. Thankfully, once she left,  he opted to just sit down in the jungle and relax a little.

With everyone finally feeling cohesive, Kirby decided it was time to Kirby, and create chaos with a little flip. She pulled the OG Titans aside to tell them they need to make Alex and Feras nervous enough to play their idols, while still loading all their votes on Kelli to send her home. Just to help lessen their threat moving forward. Winna and Scott were then sent to start confusing Feras, making him feel like the simple vote is just a cover. So he split off to spy on them to try and get to the bottom of it. Though given how confident everyone is about the idols being flushed, I am hopeful it bombs. Like, it isn’t the mastermind move they are making out, ok? Aileen caught up with Feras to encourage him to hold on to his idol, though his nerves only appeared to get worse and worse. He went to go find Raymond to help calm himself, as Feras spoke about being sure something was afoot. As King Ray assured him he has heard nothing. While sitting alone in the jungle. Feras then went to Alex, not wanting to play his idol, as Alex tried to rationalise that it is worth the risk to hold onto it. 

At tribal council Kirby spoke about taking up the chance for food because she was starving, and a public idol makes for a public target. Feras spoke about how an extra day is always more powerful, despite missing the chance to make new friends. Alex spoke about how chaotic things were back at camp, and how he intended to play the idol to be here in the morning. Feras shared he felt there were too many unnecessary chats happening around camp and as he wasn’t sure what they were about, he was nervous. Kirby continued to sow chaos, making both the boys nervous and ugh, she is going to pull this off, isn’t she? Kelli meanwhile started to talk about how she ended her alliance as she was sick of following along with things and didn’t want to lose a friend. This fired up Valeria, who called her out for throwing them under the bus at the feast, pointing out that that is why she is now the target. As Valeria scoffed at the prospect of Kelli being strategic, given she is chaos.

Kirby pointed out that Kelli’s behaviour at the lunch is what put her on the outs, while Kelli countered she had already removed herself from the alliance, so it doesn’t matter. As Valeria and Kirby grew more and more sassy. While Alex was just glad to see somebody else coming for Kelli. With that the tribe voted, both boys held on to their idols – pissing off Kirby enough to get her nice and shady with Kelli, telling her Alex would never play an idol for her, when she asked – and Kelli was unanimously sent home. Well, eventually, after forgetting her torch, announcing she is a psychologist and then missing the exit. No joke.

As she arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled Kelli in for a massive hug, thanking her for single-handedly bringing the drama and chaos to the pre-merge. And for defying expectations to give us four weeks of her majesty. Kelli being Kelli, she pointed out my speedo tan – which TBH, is my fault, I was wearing it at night in a kitchen – before we had a good laugh about all the excitement she brought to the game. As it slowly became clear, Kelli was doing what Phillip Sheppard should have, playing annoying and silly to make it to the end, before outing herself as a mastermind. And while that still may not have worked, I counter the Tobias vote proved she knew what she was doing. Which was a word for word quote from my toast, over a Shirley Tempelli Harris.

What a Shirley Temple lacks in liquor, Kelli and I make up for with unlimited energy which is prone to annoying people. This sweet little number is a fresh little burst that can get you through the darkest of days, like knowing Kelli just missed the merge. Which would have been even more iconic for our icon.

Enjoy!

Shirley Tempelli Harris
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
ice
150ml ginger ale, plus extra to top
30ml lime juice
15ml grenadine
1 maraschino cherry, to garnish

Method
Fill a glass with ice, and top with the ginger ale and lime juice. Slowly add the grenadine and garnish with the maraschino cherry before topping with extra ginger ale.

Down and repeat, depending on thirst.


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Baked Garreek Meatballdman Pitas

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Mark was ready to do revenge against the Middle Aged Mafia for blindsiding Viola. Despite the fact they all felt it would force Mark into being closer with them. After the new Rebels lost yet another immunity, he convinced them that everything was all good and that he was all in on their plan to get rid of OG Rebels. He calmly suggested that they once again split the votes between Rianna and Sarah, given Alex has zero connections. He then went to said OGs and told them to join him in loading up the votes on Caroline to take control of the tribe officially, rather than just being on the bottom of the alliance. Tragically a series of blunders from Sarah and then Rianna screwed the plan, leading to a chaotic tribal where Mark wasted his idol, Ri flipped her vote to Mark and Sarah was shown the door.

The next day the mood was, once again, a little sombre as Mark tried to clear the air with Caroline about the vote. She agreed things were super messy, as he explained that the dynamics of the four are the reason why he had tried to lead the charge against them. He apologised for his actions, with her assuring him that she is happy to move past it and continue to work together. Though she warned him that the only way they can move forward is if he is able to prove trust. Which at this point is just a bit of a lol, you know?

Over at the Titans things were far more jovial as Ray was busy trying to take his undies off without removing his track pants. Accidentally flashing Valeria in the process. He then went for a swim with Feras, yelling to each other about strategising and playing idols as the tribe watched on giggling. Well, the tribe minus Kelli, who was being suspiciously quiet and calm. Which immediately made Feras worry that she found an idol. Feras and Raymond caught up with Kirby, who decided to play into things by admitting that Kelli did have an idol, hoping the spectre of it keeps them safe. Kirby looped in Kelli, who found it super funny that they thought she had an idol and she agreed it would be fun to use it to her advantage. Leveraging her psychology, of course. As such, Raymond, Feras and Garrick decided they needed to lock in the vote against Kirby with the help of the OG Titans.

The tribes reunited with Jonathan for the reward challenge where they would race into the water to collect coconuts with letters on them and spell words in a little spelling bee. Best out of 3 scoring an epic Mexican feast. Caroline and Alex faced off against Kelli and Garrick in round one to spell salsa, with the Titans taking out victory despite Kelli struggling to spell the word. Even though she hilariously assured the tribe that she can spell before the round. No joke. Mark and Rianna made things physical with Feras and Winna as they powered ahead to spell chilli, buying them enough time to tie things up for the Rebels. Winna fought hard against Kitty and Alex, as Valeria calmly worked on writing out tortilla, scoring victory for their tribe.

Back at camp the new Titans were positively delighted to discover their Mexican feast awaiting them. Everyone sat down and started smashing all the food, with Winna, Charles and Valeria in particular thrilled to finally have something to eat for the first time in three weeks. After pressing pause on the game for a little, both Feras and Kirby got to work trying to woo the OG Titans. Charles, Winna and Valeria caught up in the water debating the merits, with Charles wisely pointing out that aligning with Kirby, Scott and Kelli makes the most sense, as at least they have an even playing field, rather than going with a four. That night, Charles pulled Kirby and Scott aside to talk through their plans, with them agreeing Feras is so concerned about Kelli having an idol, he isn’t thinking about much else. Wanting to play both sides, Charles and Winna then joined up with Feras and Raymond to hear their plans, with Feras reminding them that whichever way they decide to go, they need to make sure they aren’t picked off afterwards.

Which feels a little ominous, no?

JLP made his triumphant return for the immunity challenge where the tribes would each hold up heavy barrels with the first tribe to drop a single barrel losing and joining Jonathan at tribal council. Things started out pretty zen, with only some minor adjustments to everyone’s hands before Caroline tapped out and handed her barrel to Jaden. After ten minutes, Jaden passed his second barrel over to Alex for a little bit of a break. That took its toll on Alex, trading back after ten minutes before the Titans lost their first person in Valeria. Winna was like a statue as he held onto two barrels before Aileen started to get dangerously close to dropping, forcing her to pass it off to Kirby. She needed a break, so handed her second to Garrick who immediately passed it to Feras. Winna started to get tired, passing one off to Charles and while it looked bad, both tribes were still fighting after 50 minutes. Garrick then dropped out, requiring some shuffling on Titans to save Kirby from dropping, before the tribe admitted defeat and dropped in unison, sending themselves to tribal council.

Back at camp the tribe reconvened around the fire lamenting their loss before splitting up to come up with their plans. After splitting up, Valeria was confident she, Winna and Charles will be able to pick who goes home. Sadly Aileen realised that the Rebels need to stay together for at least one vote, rallying them together and asking Feras and Kirby to put down their guns to assure themselves that OG Rebels have the advantage when they merge. By getting rid of Charles, ideally. And after a little bit of back and forth, they agreed to stick together. Garrick reluctantly, who felt it was the right time to make a break as they already have the numbers. As he simmered in his jocks, he approached Winna to see what the OG Titans were thinking, with him obviously assuring him that they are locked on Kirby. This emboldened him to go back to Feras and Aileen to make one final, hard push for Kirby. With them eventually agreeing. Again, somewhat reluctantly.

Meanwhile Raymond and Kelli were busy talking through the drama, with him telling her there will no doubt be a lot of last minute whispers as rival plans pop up. He then asked her not to play her idol for Kirby, given he wants her to be safe. This made Kelli nervous, so she approached Kirby who then looped in Scott, and just like that, they got to work locking in a rival plan to not take out Feras, but his second in command Garrick. The OG Titans disappeared to talk through their options, with them all agreeing that Kirby is more trustworthy and that is nothing else, they have the power tonight. And once each faction is down to three, they can reassess. They caught up with Kirby who looped them in on the Garrick plan, as they whispered it throughout camp. All the chatter made Feras nervous, who pulled Winna aside to talk about the possibility of Valeria flipping on them. With Winna assuring him that Valeria won’t flip on them, begging the question, which them is he talking about? They then turned their nerves to Kelli and her (non) idol, and how to navigate it. With Kirby assuring us that she will be trying to make everyone paranoid about what exactly Kelli could do. Which will be super easier for Kirby, given the Kelli of it all.

At tribal council Aileen spoke about how the OG Rebels clearly have an advantage, though if the OG Titans stick together, they have so much power. Winna agreed that when there are cracks, they can kind of make the choice, while Charles straight up pointed out that tonight is just about picking a side between the divided Rebels. Kirby pointed out that a true alliance doesn’t need to overdo it and simply have a discussion, and stick to it. Feras spoke about finding the balance between being paranoid and trusting in people. Kirby then called him paranoid, though admitted it is right to be, given he and Aileen pushed to be Rebel strong and then immediately switched. Kirby pointed out they had been duplicitous, leading to Garrick and Feras arguing that she was actually the one that turned on them first and that is why they don’t trust her. Despite her now playing the victim.

Garrick spoke about how disappointed he was in Kirby betraying them and how upset he still is. This led to Kirby denying she did anything wrong, with chaos erupting as Kirby, Feras and Garrick got extremely heated. Kirby tried to take credit for the Peta vote – again, no jury yet, so not relevant – despite not voting for her, which was the sticking point for the boys. Feras put a pin in the fighting as he admitted the divide is so large that there is absolutely no point denying it. Garrick meanwhile was super nervous, feeling like the tribe turned against him, as Feras confirmed with Valeria that the OG Titans were voting with them. And Scott just begged JLP to let them vote so they can finally draw some lines in the damn sand and move on tomorrow.

With that the tribe voted as Aileen begged Feras to play his idol for Garrick, before he held firm and she was proven correct, as the OG Titans joined Kirby’s alliance to blindside Garrick from the game. And let’s just say, he was well and truly pissed. As he arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled him in for a massive hug and assured him all would be ok. Because with such on point reads and a great display (despite going out early), if there is justice, he will make a triumphant return. And between that epic peptalk and piping hot Baked Garreek Meatballdman Pitas, he was feeling better in no time.

This meal looks like hard work, but is truly so simple. Prep everything, chuck it on a tray and  you’re good to go. And better yet, it is jam packed with flavour and oh so good. Spicy, creamy and warming.

Enjoy!

Baked Garreek Meatballdman Pitas
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
500g lamb mince
1 onion, grated
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 lemon, zested and juiced
½ cup parsley, roughly chopped
2 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp dried oregano
½ tsp cayenne pepper
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
4 potatoes, cut into 1cm matchsticks
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
200g Jaida Essence Halloumi, diced
1 capsicum, diced
1 large avocado, halved and seeded
¼ cup greek yoghurt 
½ cup basil
1 jalapeño, trimmed and if you don’t want the heat, seeded
1 tsp smoked paprika
½ tsp garlic powder
½ tsp onion powder
4 Pita Andre Breads, to serve

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C and line two baking sheets. 

Combine the mince, onion, garlic, lemon zest, parsley, cumin, oregano and half the cayenne pepper in a large bowl, with a good whack of salt and pepper, and scrunch with your hands to combine. Wet your hands and roll into golf ball sized meatballs, popping on the lined baking sheet. Cover and leave to rest.

Toss the sliced potatoes in olive oil and salt and spread over the second baking sheet. Pop in the oven and cook for 15 minutes, before flipping and cooking for a further 20 minutes. Add the haloumi and capsicum to the meatball tray and pop in the oven when you take the chips out to flip.

While they are cooking, pop the avocado, yoghurt, basil, jalapeno and lemon juice in a blender, and blitz until smooth. Season to taste. 

Combine the paprika, garlic and onion powders and cayenne pepper in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Remove the meatballs, haloumi and chips from the oven, and toss the chips through the spices.

To serve, dollop some avocado onto plates. Followed by the meatballs, fries, halloumi and capsicum, with pitas. And devour however you see fit.


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