Dessert

White Chocolate and Jimboconut Bundt

Baking, Cake, Dessert, RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on All Stars, Ru assembled 12 queens in need of some form of redemption, either for themselves or in the eyes of the fandom. And well, they came to race! Well, except for Jimbo, of course, who was frank about the fact she solely came to cruise. One by one the dolls were eliminated – or quit, we miss you Heidi! – before Kandy booked her place in her second top two alongside the iconic, cruising Canadian import, Jimbo. Friends from the start, the duo were thrilled to have made it to the end together to compete for the crown. Only to be put on pause for a week – as many a housewife has claimed (love you Dorinda!) – as the eliminated queens returned and performed in talent show to enhance their Fame Games vote. Ultimately it was Jaymes and Lala that slayed both the performances and the lip sync, earning Jaymes a vote double while Lala likely won herself the secondary crown after trebling her score.

Backstage the duo were well and truly feeling their oats, Jaymes in particular, given it also acted as her first ever win across her seasons. Being congenial – one of Lala’s other titles – the duo praised their sisters for turning a show before celebrating that it kinda means they are one step closer to $60k. Talk then turned to the actual top two of the season though, with everyone praising them for making it to the end and being stellar representatives of the season and ugh, it has been a long season, but I love seeing the dolls all celebrating each other and their different styles of drag.

The next day the entire cast returned again, where Lala showed off the filthy Spanish that Monica had kindly taught her. Kandy then tried to trick the girls into believing she and Jimbo were actually the ones that picked the top two for the talent show, but could barely get it out without giggling. After Darienne and MKD reiterated how fun Jaymes’ performance was, Naysha jumped in to point out she liked it, but thought others were better. Which left us the shot of Jaymes looking like Ralph Wiggum when Lisa broke his heart. Before she could break Jaymes any further, Ru dropped by to focus the dolls on the final challenge, where Jimbo and Kandy would have to perform original solo numbers on the mainstage. With full choreography, obviously filling Jimbo with dread.

After a tic tac luncheon with Ru and Michelle of course! 

Up first was Ru’s favourite Canadian – did I lie? – with Ru and Michelle absolutely gushing over how much they love her. Jimbo opened up about growing up the child of alcoholics before her mother got sober and moved herself and the kids out of the house, and how it shaped her into becoming the silly, happy clown that we love. She spoke about how much winning would mean to her, as it would make her a beacon for weird kids all over the world. Kandy meanwhile admitted she had been super nervous about coming back, but how grateful she is to have come back and grown as much as she did. She admitted she relied on friends to make it through the competition, because she is ready for the crown damn it, and she knows she deserves it. And seeing her breakdown about how much she wants it, I feel bad, because it still feels like this is leading to the (rightful) Jimbo victory.

Meanwhile backstage the eliminated queens were sticking their hand in Ru’s big, pink box and giggled through a quiz before MKD won $1k and gifted some to Monica. This sent off a gold rush as they all pulled cards earning tips and holidays and I live, I guess.

Everyone came together to meet with Miguel Zarate and learn the choreography, so you know Jimbo was already bricking it. Thankfully Kandy was first up, reminding us she has been both in the bottom and won a rusical under Miguel’s guidance, so she hoped to err more towards victory for their latest dalliance. She appeared to be having fun though, giving sex and sass and living her best life. Jimbo meanwhile may not be the best dancer, but you best believe she was focused as hell and had so much heart, that she just may pull it off. I guess proving that grit and determination can take you all the way.

Coronation Day arrived with Kandy and Jimbo hoping to focus on celebrating their runs, rather than putting too much pressure on themselves. Darienne meanwhile jumped in on the love, telling them how excited she was to see them do battle and star. After a brief Sunday Riley commercial – CEO glow is great, so Jimbo was not lying – the dolls started talking about the tic tac luncheon with Kandy excited that Ru said she was her biggest fan. Which obviously made Jimbo nervous, given she didn’t get that feedback. Thankfully though, she focused on sewing a special outfit for the lip sync to give everyone a little surprise. Which I obviously hope is a Shirley Temple ruveal.

The rest of the dolls were busy kiki-ing, with Jaymes talking about not realising how much she wanted to win something, Jessica thrilled to have snatched some coin before Kandy was gagged about the eliminated queens winning money from Ru’s box. Alexis meanwhile tried to get everyone in their feels, with everyone gushing over their sisterhood and it was sweet, sweet filler.

We finally ventured to the mainstage where it was family only as Ru, Michelle, Carson and the hilarious Ross Mathews took their places on the panel. Before one final bit of filler as Ru performed ASMR Lover, sadly with long shorts on the back-up dancers, rather than the booty kind we all love. Eventually it was time for Jimbo to perform her delightfully camp number I Remember Being Born and while Jimbo wasn’t confident during rehearsal, she sold the hell out of it, leaning into all the stupid and fun and I live for every moment of it. Kandy’s Pay Me with Money was just as perfect for our finalist – and had back-up dancers in speedos! She was living her Gaga fantasy and proved to her lingering haters that she is nothing short of a star. We also got an epic gospel interlude with the entire cast and well, it was great so i’ll let this filler stay.

On the Finale Fabulosity runway Monica slayed in a regal, puffy, purple gown with a perfect mug. Naysha followed it up with an architectural blush and blue gown, MKD was a black and white stunning old dame, Darienne shone in a lime and black nude illusion while Jaymes gave dra-MA in an orange showgirl number. And it was PERFECT. Kahanna gave sunflower goddess realness, complete with a mirror cape – stunning – while Lala lived in a red, rosy number. Alexis served classic drama in a red satin gown, while Jessica looked so rich in a pretty, perfect pink gown. When it came to the finalists, Jimbo served as a sexy rocker demon queen – it was good – while Kandy looked stunning in a yellow feathered gown.

The top two took their places on the stage as the judges lavished Jimbo with praise for literally all that she did, including in the final performance as she committed to the story and stole the show. And as always, gave them something that only she could. Jimbo in turn thanked the judges for importing her from Canada by way of the UK, and letting her shine on drag’s biggest stage. They lived for how much Kandy grew between her seasons and for always knowing who she is, and committing. Kandy spoke about how she left it all on the floor for a chance to win the crown, before praising all the dolls for offering hope for the queer community.

Backstage the dolls joined together to toast their missing sister Heidi before Jimbo thanked them for how much they helped her and Kandy get to where they are. We then got an extra 20 minutes of sister on sister love and while it was lovely, let’s not waste any additional time on filler, ok?

The eliminated queens were wheeled out first to learn who would take out the Fame Games, with Lala hilariously earning yet another title. They were quickly wiped off stage as Jimbo and Kandy made their returns looking sparkly and bright, and of course, ready to ruveal. As soon as Do You Wanna Funk? kicked off, both of the dolls came out strong. Jimbo was silly and camp and had titties bouncing all over the stage – front and back – while Kandy was fierce and focused. Sadly though, that could only take her so far, as Jimbo’s massive titties and titty-buns shook her all the way to a very deserving crown, leaving Kandy to join Raven as a dual runner-up (which is impressive).

As the confetti settled, I snuck backstage and as soon as I saw Jimbo’s breastplate turn the corner, I pulled her in for a massive hug and congratulated her on a very deserving victory. I mean, from the very first moment she stepped into the Werk Room, it was clear that she had levelled up from her already sickening turn in UK vs the World and it was highly unlikely anyone would catch her. And week after week, she proved they couldn’t. Always on brand, always entertaining and constantly radiating joy, she learnt from her first two runs and applied them into a dominant performance that made sure she was the only possible victor. And that alone is worthy of the recipe of the season, a White Chocolate and Jimboconut Bundt.

This is one of those cakes that just screams winner. A copycat of the cake Tom Cruise sends to his friends at Christmas – I assume the only reason non-Scientologists answer his calls – it is so decadent and delightful. Just like Jimbo.

Enjoy!

White Chocolate and Jimboconut Bundt
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
300g unsalted butter at room temperature, plus excess for the pan
3 cups flour, plus excess for the pan
¾ tsp kosher salt
½ tsp baking powder
3 cups raw caster sugar
6 eggs, at room temperature
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp coconut extract
1 cup sour cream
3 ½ cups shredded coconut
1 cup white chocolate, finely chopped
115g cream cheese, at room temperature
2 cups icing sugar
2 tbsp double cream

Method
Preheat the oven 180C, and grease and flour a 10-inch bundt pan. Combine the flour, ½ tsp of the salt and baking powder in a large bowl.

Meanwhile in a stand mixer, cream 240g of the butter and raw caster sugar in a bowl on medium for about 5 minutes, or until light and fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time, waiting until the mixture comes back together until it comes together. Next, beat in half the vanilla extract, the coconut extract and sour cream until just combined. Remove from the mixer and fold through the flour mixture, 2 cups of the coconut and the white chocolate. Pour the batter into the bundt, pop it on a baking sheet and into the oven to cook for about 90 minutes, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean. Allow to cool in the pan for 20 minutes, before removing to a wire rack to cool completely.

Toast the remaining coconut in a dry saucepan until golden. Remove from the heat to cool.

Once the victorious cake is nearly completely cool, combine the cream cheese, remaining butter, vanilla extract and salt in a stand mixer and beat on medium for a couple of minutes or until smooth. Reduce to low and add the icing sugar, half a cup at a time, followed by the cream and beat until smooth.

Smooth the icing over the bundt and press with the toasted coconut to cover. Then slice, serve and devour. Because mama, we’re all hungry.


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Kitty Spiced Apple Biscuits

Baking, Dessert, Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Snack, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race France the dolls threw a little talent show and to up the tension, Nicky brought back their Season 1 sisters to act as an audience. Driven to prove they were well and truly an upgrade, the dolls knocked it out of the park as each and every one served something fun. Keiona slayed as she brought Ballroom to the stage, while Piche had an absolute star moment as she sang, rapped and showed off all her talent. Even the poor dolls that landed in the bottom were delightful, with Vespi(‘s outfit) completely falling apart while Cookie Kunty had puppets. And we know everyone loves those. When they lip synced, though, Cookie was able to redeem herself as she came out victorious and sent sweet Vespi out of the competition.

Backstage Punani was once again in her feelings after losing another sister, while Cookie was living with a serious case of survivor’s guilt. Despite being heartbroken herself, Piche assured Cookie that she slayed and deserved to stay and as such, not to feel any guilt about brutally kicking her bestie out. As Piche spoke about her bond with Vespi however, she started to break down in tears and while she seemed sad to her sisters, in confessional, she was more fired up in confessional, vowing to win the crown for her and Vespi.

The next day the dolls were channelling Jaws – inaudibly, according to subtitles – before Nicky arrived (post cocorico, obvi) to open the library. Officially. After ouverture de la bibliothèque courtesy of the zaddy Pit Crew, Ginger was brutal, Piche was charmingly mean, Moon slayed from start to finish and Punani was adorably fun. Sara Forever once again proved to be strong before we finally had a couple of weaker turns in the form of Kitty and Mami before Keiona warmed things back up calling Sara Trinity the Tuck and Cookie closed the show with a brutal read of Mami being the before photo to Keiona’s after. 

Ultimately though it was Piche that took out victory. But on to the maxi challenge where the dolls would be starring in a parody morning show, just like UK 2. And for winning the mini challenge, Piche also won the power to assign the parts. After Nicky departed, the dolls sat down to fight for the roles, until Piche sadly (for us) requested decorum, so instead everyone calmly listed what they’d be willing to play before Piche made her decisions. Mami got the sports role, Sara was doing interviews, Kitty was doing infomercials, Ginger and Cookie were cooking off, Moon took weather, Keiona was on astrology while Piche would act as an anchor alongside Punani.

The cast pivoted directly to set to record their scene with Nicky and Daphne where Piche and Punani were fun, Moon was completely demented in ALL the right ways and Sara once again was a polished, horny and hilarious star. Kitty meanwhile was doing both too much and nowhere near enough before Keiona once again knocked it out of the park, despite what Nicky’s feedback would have you believe. Mami was living out my dream with her sexy work out with the Pit Crew, while Cookie and Ginger literally ate onion and vinegar.

The dolls pivoted backstage to prepare for the runway bonding over their childhood passions for dabbling in drag. Keiona opened up about gender fluidity which led to Moon talking about how drag helped her come to terms with her trans identity and her struggles getting to the point of acceptance. Thankfully everyone rallied around her as she broke down in tears and as it generally does, admitted that things got better for her and as such, she was thrilled to be able to live her truth. Mami then opened up about how she feels she is a trans woman however will never be able to confirm her identity out of the fear it would kill her parents. And hearing the dolls rally around her too and Moon telling her that that is not a reason to live a lie was important and please Mami, live your truth.

Nicky and Daphne – where is Kiddy?! – were joined by Rossy De Palma and Loic Prigent as Cookie Kunty kicked off the La Nuit des 1000 Dalida looking a ‘50s playboy showgirl, Keiona served full bridal goddess, Sara gave red, white and fringed – and looked perfect – while Kitty did the weaker, limp version of Cookie’s look. Punani gave runway, alien, Grace Jones, Ginger gave grecian bust, Piche was a shimmering space delight before revealing a perfect belly dancer look, Moon gave lady of the house at a ball before Mami served full blown white showgirl. And looked stunning. 

When it came to the acting challenge, Punani and Piche were delightfully demented anchors, Sara was even hornier in her interview with Daphne, and the scene was all the better for it. Moon was pitch perfect and bonkers in every moment before Mami brought the Pit Crew out with her, so obviously, it was a win. Keiona was charming and silly, Kitty was cute while Cookie and Ginger appeared to be in completely different skits, despite starring as a pair.

Piche was called forward and grilled by the judges for not being across the material, though was ultimately sent to safety alongside Punani and Moon. Cookie was praised for giving the stronger of the outfits though read for not giving enough in the challenge, ultimately allowing Ginger to star. Keiona was once again beloved for her perfect outfit and slaying something out of her comfort zone. Sara was even more beloved for essentially going from strength to strength. While they loved Kitty’s runway, they hated her performance and wished she could do well, despite not being happy with the role. Ginger’s runway and silliness in the performance received all the praise before Mami was praised for being stunning on the runway – despite some dodgy hems – though read for not taking her workout further.

Backstage the dolls were gagged about Piche’s solo call out and how terrifying it was, while Moon just wanted a little feedback after a run of safes. The tops and bottoms soon joined with Kitty completely aware she’d be lip syncing, while Cookie and Mami were battling it out for the final slot in the bottom. 

Ultimately Sara took out yet another victory before Ginger and Keiona were sent to safety. In a repeat of last week, Mami narrowly avoided the bottom as Kitty joined Cookie in the bottom. When Dalida’s Monday, Tuesday… Laissez-moi danser kicked off, the dolls were well and truly in their elements – and TBH, perfectly dressed in their matching looks – feeling the lyrics and giving full disco diva. Though Cookie obviously slayed, feeling her oats and knocking it out of the park, tragically eliminating Kitty Space in the process.

As poor Kitty arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and congratulated her on her run and assured her that despite an early exit, she should still be proud of what she brought to the competition and was able to share. And despite it being a pretty ordinary pep talk, it appeared to do the trick as we turned our attention to kiki-ing and smashing a big batch of Kitty Spiced Apple Biscuits.

These glorious little biscuits come courtesy of the Rice Bubbles box and while I know recipes on the side of packets can be hit and miss, I assure you they are delicious. And the perfect little spicy treat for Christmas in July, TBH.

Enjoy!

Kitty Spiced Apple Biscuits
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 ¼ cups muscovado sugar
⅓ cup butter
¼ cup apple puree
¼ cup honey
2 eggs
3 cups rice bubbles, blitzed in a blender
2 ½ cups flour
1 ½ tbsp baking powder
1 tsp ground ginger
2 tsp ground cinnamon
¼ tsp ground clove

Method
Preheat the oven to 180°C.

Using a stand mixer, cream the muscovado sugar and butter until light and fluffy. Reduce to low speed and add in the apple puree, honey and egg whites. Remove from the mixer and fold through the rice bubble powder, flour, baking powder and spices until a dough forms.

Roll tablespoons of the dough into balls and place them on lined baking sheets, leaving a little space for them to spread, pressing down each with a fork to flatten slightly. Transfer to the oven to bake for about 10 minutes, or until golden and brown. Remove from the oven and allow to cool on wire racks before devouring. With glee, even if they fall apart.


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Apple and Rosemary Cake

Baking, Cake, Dessert, Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France ten queens arrived ready to dazzle and delight Ru’s iconic smoking baby Nicky Doll. And dazzled they did, with wit, charm, skin and cocoricos on the reg, that by the end of the season I may not have understood everything they said, but I had a thorough understanding of the love I felt for them. Honestly, I would have been happy with any of the top five taking out the crown and while Soa was my clear favourite, there is no denying that Paloma demolished the competition and well and truly deserved her crown. And how sweet of her to return to the Werk Room to leave the dolls a little welcome mirror message to commence handing over the crown!

Speaking of the new dolls, first we met Mami Watta with all the abs, looking fresh off a snowy beach holiday and I love everything about her vibe. And by vibe, passion for serving body. She was joined by Sara Forever rocking a pink cowbell and well, it is absurd and I love her and her rocker energy. And the fact her neck line served vulva. As they kikied about being a star, Ginger Bitch arrived serving old Kam Hugh and I live for every moment of it. Next in was Moon serving witchy realness in chartreuse and well, I love the oooky, kooky spookiness. And her horniness for Mami. Kitty Space joined the fray serving both of those things, and was oh so expensive. 

Bearded zaddy Piche was next through the door – eventually – serving architectural avant garde and well, he is a zaddy, so you know I’mma stan. Rose soon followed dressed, as you would expect, as a Rose, giving big Joe Black energy and immediately snatching my heart. Cookie Kunty was next through the door giving big French Jennifer Tilly energy and again, I stan. All my former shower puffs arrived with Vespi who revealed herself to be a star covered disco diva and I love her Courtney Act energy. We were then graced with the presence of the one and only Keiona Revlon, ballroom legend and like Sasha and Jimbo before her, crown her now. We then got an extra, eleventh contestant, in the form of Rose’s performance partner Punani who gave Vivian Vanderpuss energy in green and while I love to see it, I hate that one of them will get the Sugar treatment.

As they debated whether this was the full cast or whether there would be a dozen of them, Nicky dropped by to welcome her daughters and confirm that yes, the 11 of them were the full cast. And to celebrate, they’d immediately be facing a little photoshoot mini challenge! With the zaddy pit crew and their skimpy panties for back-up, obviously. La premier reina to the floral swing photoshoot was Rose who looked right at home in the garden, until the fans kicked off and blew her around. Kitty Space fell off the swing, but got the shot, Vespi didn’t sweat, Moon was caught mid-choke and Sara gave full crotch. Piche hilariously could barely fit her gown in the chair, though looked great while Mami struggled to land the swing on entry. Cookie was unfazed while Keiona gave nothing but glamour, Ginger on the other hand was right at home while Punani lived for a rough ride and then hilariously botched the landing. Which was all it took to snatch the win, as she deserved. 

Nicky then announced that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be writing verses and recording the anthem of Drag Race France, We Are Legendaire. And then performing it live on the mainstage as a single group. As the dolls split up to unpack and de-drag, they finally discovered Paloma’’s message and while they felt it was sweet, immediately rubbed it off and moved right along. As they de-dragged, Moon quickly took the chance to let her sisters know that she is a trans woman and as such, her pronouns are she all the time. And it was so sweet as she admitted she already felt so much love from them and as such, felt it was ok to confide in them now rather than waiting. The dolls moved on to how excited they all were to make the cast, with Sara admitting she is using the show as a tool to come out as a drag queen to her mother. Ginger meanwhile spoke about her dad calling her after watching the first season and how much he loved it and ugh, I love it all.

After the getting to know you was done the dolls sat down to listen to their song and work through lyrics before Nicky dropped by to offer some support from Chris. And while Sara was confident in her operatic chops, not everyone was as thrilled, though felt better when Chris just told them to find their niche and stick to it. With that they pivoted to the mainstage to learn their choreography with Claude Carmier. Well, after a little solo dance break where Rose was hilariously awkward, Sara dropped into a split, Moon was sultry and Keiona gave 10s, 10s, 10s across the board. In any event, despite breezing through the rehearsal, it was clear Piche, Moon, Mami and Keiona were far and away the strongest while poor Rose was just not compatible with dancing.

Forgoing any elimination day fun, Nicky, Kiddy and Daphne were joined on the panel by Chris and Nicolas Sirkis as the dolls stomped the floor to debut We Are Legendaires. And it was a bop. Keiona, Mami, Moon, Piche and Punani owned the show while poor Kitty, Rose and Ginger just kinda got eaten up by the rest of the dolls. On the Super Drag runway, Kitty Space looked like an exploded Tina Burner in all the right ways. Ginger served truth and justice which is topical, given I am currently on jury duty like a judicial icon. Punani was stunning in a glam gown of scraps, Mami gave Woman King warrior realness, Moon was ravishing in red while Cookie served neon blow-out realness and Rose gave camp comedy perfection. Piche was fucking stunning and oh so hot in a gorgeous suit and while I have no idea what is happening, I stan and love her. Sara then gave supergrills, Vespi served wasp before Keiona closed the show giving metallic vogue hero.

Mami, Moon, Vespi, Piche and Cookie were sent to safety before the judges praised Kitty for the stunning runway, though read her for fading into the background in the performance. Ginger’s look was beloved though she was read for not giving enough energy in the performance. Punani was beloved for her Bowie vibes in the performance and for being a thrifty zaddy on the runway. Rose meanwhile was read for stopping lip syncing throughout the performance despite loving the energy she brought to the runway. Sara’s polish and energy were beloved, as was the creativity and uniqueness she brought to everything. And then Keiona, obviously, received wall to wall praise because she is a star.

Backstage the safe dolls were giddily kikiing about living to see another week before the tops and bottoms joined the party. Rose opened up about clearly being in the lip sync though vowed to fight. As did Kitty, who felt it would definitely be her in the bottom rather than Ginger. Punani meanwhile was just nervous to lose her sister so soon and to be left all alone.

After speeding out of Untucked, Punani and Keiona were ultimately sent to safety as Sara took out the first win of the season, before Ginger joined them at the back of the stage as Kitty Space and Rose took their places for the lip sync. And unlike last season, we actually got the music as 3Sex by Indochine et Chris kicked off. And while Kitty gave all the comedy, it kinda fell off for the song and while Rose’s emotive take felt right, Nicky and the judges appeared to disagree as Rose was sent out of the competition to become the La Kahena of the season. Breaking mine and Punani’s hearts in the process.

She found me backstage in the Werk Room by following the wailing sounds of my cries. Sweet Rose had so much more to give – and is a total zaddy, but I digress – so I was heartbroken to see her go so soon. As I do with all first boots, I reminded her that the first boot is always more memorable than most of the other dolls and while she literally just reminded us of that in her exit, she seemed to appreciate it coming from a third part. Though maybe she was just excited to eat away her feelings with a thick slice of Apple and Rosemary Cake.

This tweaked version of a delicious Nigella number may sound like an odd combination, but everything about it is pitch perfect. Sweet, earthy and tart in all the right places, it is the perfect snack to get you through the day.

Enjoy!

Apple and Rosemary Cake
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
1 granny smith apple, peeled, cored and roughly chopped
2 sprigs fresh rosemary
½ lemon, zested and juiced
170g raw caster sugar
230g butter
3 eggs
300g flour
2 tsp baking powder

Method
Combine the apple, half the rosemary, the zest and juice of the lemon and a teaspoon of both the sugar and butter in a skillet and cook on a low heat for 5-10 minutes, or until the apple is soft. Leave to cool and remove the rosemary.

Preheat the oven to 160C.

In a food processor, blitz the apple, remaining butter, 150g sugar, eggs, flour and baking powder to form a smooth batter. Transfer to a lined loaf tin, smooth the top, sprinkle with the remaining sugar and lay the remaining sprig of rosemary down the middle. Pop it in the oven to bake for 45 minutes, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean. Transfer to cool on a wire rack for about ten minutes before turning out the cake. And slicing and devouring.


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Vania Vainilla Cake

Baking, Cake, Dessert, Drag Race España, Drag Race España 3, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race España – well, before everyone returned for a cheeky reunion, that is – the dolls were tasked with turning cleaning employees, into drag Cinderellas in the annual makeover challenge. For winning the previous challenge, Pitita was able to pair up the dolls with their new sisters and given she is the clear frontrunner, opted to keep things rather fair. As such, everyone did a solid job, though Hornella was read for giving no story, while the judges felt like Clover fell into the trap of only dolling herself up and leaving her sister as the ugly step-sister. Vania meanwhile received wall to wall praise and snatched the final victory of the season while Pitita and Kelly joined her in the finale, leaving Hornella to earn her spot by sending Clover home.

Backstage the top four were gagged to officially have made it to the end, none more so than Hornella who felt like she had snuck in despite not having any wins under her belt. After toasting to Clover, Hornella praised her sisters for being so sickening, proud to have made it to the end with them. After they sat down they kept the mood jubilant, celebrating being finalists while it should be obvious to everyone involved that this is Pitita’s season and they’re just living in it.

The next day the dolls were feeling equally part silly and focused, reflecting on their journey from being in the same girl group before making it all the way to the end. Supremme dropped by to stop the reflection and after reminding the dolls of the prizes on offer, announced that their final maxi challenge would see them star in her new film clip, in adission to writing and recording a verse. Oh and kiki on her podcast too. So basically, like every finale ever filmed. 

First up to record was Vania, who opened up about how she lost all her confidence after arriving at the competition however slowly but surely, she has gotten out of her way and been the icon she is on the outside. Pitita meanwhile was thrilled to have made it so far and then gagged me with the fact she injured her finger before coming to the competition. Like, how did that get lost in translation over the last three months? She opened up about not believing in herself until she won her third challenge and while her sisters grew to think she was favoured, she learnt to stay proud of what she has achieved. Kelly meanwhile was just gagged to come back to the competition, let alone make it to the end and just hoped to make her hometown proud. While Hornella spoke about how she entered the competition confident in her skills but as the week’s progressed she started to doubt herself as she saw her sisters shine. We then got a supercut of why every queen thought they should win and while I love them all, come on, this is Pitita’s crown, right?

With that out of the way the dolls split up to listen to their Sup-remix and write their verses, with Vania and Kelly quickly devolving into slutty gags and singing about rimming. Before Kelly settled on STI education. Pitita and Hornella were a little more focused, with the former planning to stamp her status as the frontrunner. Hornella on the other hand just wanted to be true to herself. They then piled around each other in front of the mirror to praise their sisters and ugh, it was sweet, but also a little bit too much padding, no?

Loved up the dolls dropped by the mainstage to work through the choreography for the performance and while Vania struggled the entire time, she appeared to be having so much fun. And that should matter. Pitita was focused and committed, despite not being the most comfortable while the others weren’t really focused at all.

We skipped any other work room action and pivoted directly to the mainstage where it was family only on the panel as Supremme, Ana y los Javis took their places at the desk. We then got to see the premiere of Supremme’s new film clip Fever and TBH, it makes me so, so jealous about how little budget Down Under has comparatively. Because it and the dolls looked good. It then pivoted to the mainstage for a live performance including the eliminated queens and it was just so joyous and fun.

On the Mejor Look Drag runway, Vania served a stunning red, Chinese dragon gown and looked absolutely perfect. In a Jessica Rabbit kind way. Pitita served opulent, vintage dame in black and white – again, stun-ning – while Kelly gave drama in red and black as she skated around the stage and into my heart while Hornella was a pink, puffy delight.

Vania received universal praise for her runway though read for struggling in the choreography. That being said, she was a consistent icon all throughout the competition. The judges lived for everything about Pitita’s run, from always serving a fashion moment to being creative and funny, she never put a foot wrong. And while that made the other girls feel resentful, she slayed and there is no denying it. Kelly meanwhile was praised for serving stunning looks, while also having a delightful attitude and the wonderful ability to laugh at herself. Hornella on the flipside was praised for always making the judges feel something, while giving sickening, creative looks. Particularly her final look, which is perfection.

Backstage the dolls were thrilled by home much the judges loved everything they did, particularly since Ana deemed them iconic. Talk turned to who they think will be lip syncing for the crown, with Vania suggesting she’d love to do it alone, but if that isn’t the case, she’d rather it be all four of them. Which is sweet, but unlikely.

The eliminated queens then stomped the runway in their finale gowns and honestly, they all looked lovely and it was wonderful to see. When it came to the top four, Vania ultimately didn’t get her wish as Kelly and Hornella were cut, leaving her to battle Pitita for the crown to Punto de Partida by Rocio Jurado and ugh, it was perfect (and oh so long). The drama of the song suited the moment as the dolls served all the emotion, feeling every lyric and building throughout the song. And given they both were solid, it should be no surprise that when Sharonne appeared to pass on the crown, it went to the season-long frontrunner Pitita.

As Vania arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and praised her for such a solid run. I mean, were it any other season, she would have been the clear frontrunner however Pitita came in and Pitita-ed the shit out of the thing, leaving her to have to setlle for being an icon. And most importantly, the recipe of the season, in the form of this Vania Vainilla Cake.

Not just any vanilla cake, this copycat of Milkbar’s Birthday Cake (which to complete the inception, is a copycat of a funfetti cake) is near perfect. Balancing the sweet with the salty, this light, fluffy cake is packed full of flavour to celebrate any occasion. Like a future All Stars winner, for instance.

Enjoy!

Vania Vainilla Cake
Serves: 1 iconic runner-up and her equally horned friend.

Ingredients
vegetable oil spray
2 ¾ cups flour
2 ¼ tsp baking powder
1 ¾ tsp kosher salt
½ cup rainbow sprinkles, divided
½ cup buttermilk
⅓ cup and ¼ cup grapeseed oil
3 tbsp vanilla extract
1 ¾ cups raw caster sugar
⅓ cup and ¼ cup vegetable shortening
¾ cup unsalted butter, room temperature
5 tbsp light brown sugar
3 large eggs
60g cream cheese, room temperature
2 tbsp light corn syrup
1 ¼ icing sugar
⅛ tsp citric acid
¼ cup milk

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C and line a half baking sheet with parchment paper and coat with the vegetable oil spray.

To start, whisk two cups of flour, 1 ½ teaspoons of baking powder, ¾ teaspoon of salt, and ¼ cup sprinkles in a large bowl. Then, combine ½ a cup of buttermilk, ⅓ cup of grapeseed oil, and two teaspoons vanilla in a jug. 

Beat the 1 ¼ cup raw caster sugar, ⅓ cup veegatble shortening, ¼ cup unsalted butter and 3 tablespoons light brown sugar in a stand mixer on medium until light and fluffy, about 4 minutes. Add the eggs one at a time, qllowing the mixture to come back together before adding the next. Reduce speed to low and add the buttermilk mixture, followed by the dry ingredients, beating for a minute or so or until it all comes together.

Pour the batter into the prepared pan, sprinkle with the two tablespoons and bake for about half an hour, or until golden brown and cooked through. Remove from the oven to cool completely on a wire rack.

Reduce heat to 150C and line a baking sheet with baking paper.

Combine the rest of the flour, raw caster sugar, light brown sugar, rainbow sprinkles and grapeseed oil with half a teaspoon each of baking powder and kosher salt and 1 tablespoon of vanilla extract in the bowl of a stand mixer. Mix on low for a couple of minutes or until it comes together into clusters. Transfer to the baking sheet and bake for 10-12 minutes, or until golden and crisp. Remove from the oven and allow to cool completely.

While everything else gets chill, combine the remaining butter and shortening in the bowl of a stand mixer with the cream cheese and beat on medium for 3-4 minutes, or until smooth and fluffy. Scrape down the sides before beating in the corn syrup and one tablespoon of vanilla for another few minutes, after which it will be glossy and white. Scrape down the sides again and on low, add the icing sugar and remaining salt, baking powder and citric acid. Increase to high and beat for another few minutes until it is light, fluffy and oh so bright.

To assemble, turn out the cake and cut out two 6-inch rings, which will form the top two layers. Place a 6-inch cake ring on a lined cake stand and line with a strip of acetate. Break up the excess cake, pressing into the shape of the ring to form the base layer. Combine milk with the remaining vanilla and brush over the cake to bring it all together.

Smear the cake with three tablespoons of icing over the cake, followed by ⅔ of a cup of birthday crumbs, pressing them into place. Top with another three tablespoons of icing before adding another layer of cake and brush with some milk. Repeat the frosting-crumb-frosting process, followed by the final round of cake. Cover with the remaining frosting, smoothing with a spatula, before topping with the remaining crumbs.

Pop the cake in the freezer to set for three hours, followed by a three hour defrosting period before unveiling the cake, carving and devouring. Triumphantly.


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Clover Bishcuits

Baking, Dessert, Drag Race España, Drag Race España 3, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race España the dolls played another littler game show – Un Dos Drags – which was essentially just a low rent version of Snatch Game with them paired up and forced to improv in characters, rather than as celebrities. Pitita and Clover were perfect as a peasant couple leading to the former’s fourth victory in the season, while Vania and Bestiah had a strong concept but just felt flat while Kelly and Hornella were delightfully vapid. After stomping the runway, Bestiah landed in the bottom for struggling in the challenge despite slaying the runway while Kelly sucking on the runway and slaying the challenge earned her a spot in the lip sync. Feeling like she was the one to land Bestiah in the bottom, Vania asked to trade out and lip sync in her place however Supremme and the dolls talked her out of it before Kelly rolled in to another week and the iconic Bestiah was sent home.

Backstage the emotions were still running high as the dolls toasted Bestiah’s killer run, before they turned their attention to the fact that Kelly is the undisputed lip sync assassin, to go along with her prowess at power bottoming. Clover admitted she was shocked to see Bestiah go – same – while poor Vania was still in her feels about feeling responsible for her departure. Pitita tried to praise Kelly for slaying another lip sync, though could barely even muster excitement for the fact she is clearly taking the crown. But she was grateful everyone was proud of her either way. Oh and Hornella unveiled a brain reveal in her wig and ugh, I love that and wish we got it on the runway rather than the heart on the wrong side.

The next day everyone admitted to being shocked to have made it to the top five. Or at the very least, shocked that they had the energy to survive this long in the competition. Supremme dropped by to congratulate the dolls for making the semi-finals and to celebrate, immediately put them through their paces in a cheeky five minute quick-drag. She then wheeled out the Pit Crew and explained they’d then be filling their mouths with liquid, playing scissor paper rock and slapping each other with pancakes. Which is not something I lost in translation. In any event, to win, they had to be the last person standing without spitting out the liquid. And somehow it proved to be another thing that Pitita excelled at as she defeated Vania, Clover and Kelly before she met her match in Hornella. Who eventually grew tired of the battle and just spat on her and bowed out. 

To reiterate, that was all true and translated perfectly.

Anyway, for taking out victory Pitita won a massive kit of make-up and the ability to pair up the queens for this week’s maxi challenge, the makeover! Which really upped the stakes of the game drastically and me thinks Hornella wouldn’t have spat if she’d known. This year the dolls were paired with making Cinderellas out of waste workers and cleaners and after brief introductions, Pitita snatched the one that had already walked in heels, Vania got the sweet lady, Hornella got the hotty and Clover and Kelly got the gentle bears.

After Supremme departed, the duos split up to get to know each other with Kelly vibing with Jorge’s charm and humour, despite his heterosexuality. He explained he also does stand up when he isn’t driving a garbage truck and as such he is confident to take the stage and shine. Vania and Sandra meanwhile were just vibing and living their best lives, bonding and being oh so sweet. Well, to each other, as Sandra is sassy and ready to cut the competition for Vania like a ride or die icon. Clover and Enrique were a little more subdued, until they bonded over the fact people need to always aim their arsehole at the toilet. Which reminds me of a story of a scream I heard from a staff member after walking in on shit covered walls in the female toilets of a David Jones on a Sunday afternoon, butI digress.

Pitita obviously was thriving with her partner Francisco, who admitted he was previously a drag queen for close to a decade, which meant she was far and away at the biggest advantage. Hornella and Javi meanwhile were bonded over the prejudice he has experienced as a garbo and while he is straight, I look forward to him and Hornella getting married. Bouncing back to Kelly though, she was in hysterics watching how badly her partner was walking in heels and it was a joy to watch. But Kelly girl, you’re in danger.

Supremme then made her triumphant return, bringing this iconic Club 96 owning Valentina along for the ride. First they caught up with Vania, loving Sandra’s sassiness and how well she was vibing with Vania. While Valentina just encouraged them to have fun. Pitita delighted them by already having her daughter padded, though that may not last for long given Pitita admitted he used to be a drag queen and as such, their expectations are now sky-high. Kelly y Jorge delighted them with the latter’s comedy chops, which again, could come back to bite them given it ups the expectation. While Clover was just intimidated to be in the presence of the icon that is Miss I’d-Like-To-Keep-It-On herself Valentina, who quickly taught her daughter how to walk in heels for Clover. While Hornella was working hard to make sure I ship a non-couple by highlighting how much she loves Javi.

Dia de eliminacion arrived with the girls manic as they split up to get their daughters ready for their mainstage debut. After shaving away the beards and glueing down the brows, Pititia opened up to Francisco about how excited she was to be doing the makeover and how relieved she was to get someone with experience. Clover meanwhile shaved Enrique’s eyebrows off while Vania and Sandra just continued to bond, with Vania opening up about the time she was the victim of a hate crime and how even the police blamed her, given she was in drag and ugh, this is why I hate people. Just to reiterate that sentiment. Not Sandra though, who gave her a pep talk and told her not to let losers take her shine. Essentially. So I love Sandra, hate people.

Hornella meanwhile was opening up about how supportive her mum has always been, however spoke about her difficult relationship with her father. And the way Javi immediately rallied and told him how loved he is makes me happy to have such delightful allies. Kelly and her daughter meanwhile spoke about the former’s passion for roller skating and how it made her feel free and while it added nothing, it was sweet, so I love it.

Supremme, Ana y Los Javis were joined on the panel by the iconic Valentina as Pititia y Noah opened the Barricientas runway serving camp, vintage glamour and all the cohesion. Kelly Roller and Nelly Moller served shimmering party girls at a ball with an open bar. Hornella y Hortensia were stunning and silly, rocking full glam as they took out the trash. And served sex, in Hortensia’s case. Clover y Cúrcuma served full disco, complete with golden sequined toilet rolls which were very important, if you ask me. While Vania y Nati were perfectly in harmony with their contrasting looks, giving joy, glamour and all the fun. And well, it was good. I mean, Sandra is an actrice.

Pitita received praise for telling a story and doing a solid job, despite not making her sister as glamorous as herself. Kelly was praised for bringing the comedy and cohesion while Hornella was praised for bringing stunning mugs, though below, was read for lacking polish. Clover was praised for her storytelling, though read for not putting enough into her daughter’s outfit. While Vania received wall-to-wall praise for serving up two stunning looks, not being afraid to let her daughter outshine her and most importantly, giving a fun narrative on the runway.

Backstage the dolls praised their new daughters for absolutely slaying the runway and being so open to everythings. Kelly went so far as to say it was her favourite time on the mainstage, which again, is super sweet. Pitita thanked Francisco for doing such a solid job, though knew she wasn’t winning. Vania on the other hand was thrilled by how much the judges loved what she and Sandra did. Hornella meanwhile started to break down, disappointed to have not been able to cut through with the judges while Clover too was dejected, though kinda expected it, given the judges are always harder on her.

Back on stage, Pitita was asked to give advice to her younger self, encouraging him to dream big and always believe in yourself because there is a place for her in the world. Kelly meanwhile told baby Kelly to always enjoy skating, stay on the right track and to rally around those that love you because she is worthy of love. Hornella reminded her adorable self – on the toilet, no less – that she will have a marvellous life, though to spend more time with her dad and make the most of the time you have. Clover encouraged her younger self to find those that support her and to never worry about not being normal. While Vania encouraged herself to follow her own path and always be proud of herself.

Ultimately Pitita was deemed safe while Vania took out the win, making them the first two members of the top four of the season. Kelly was the next to join them, leaving Hornella and Clover to battle for the final spot to Natalia’s Vas a Volverme Loca. And while Clover was obviously living her best life, hitting every note and giving clean lines and tricks, Hornella’s experience shone through, giving camp and turning a show as she bounced off Clover’s energy. Which was enough – outside of the track record – to save her and send her through to the finale, leaving Clover to finish robbed in fifth place.

As she made her way backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and immediately started ranting and raving about how disappointed I was to see her be booted. And honestly, never appreciated. While Clover is a baby queen, she brought such a high level of polish, skill and energy that you honestly could mistake her for a veteran. And again, I feel like the judges never gave her the props she deserved. But you best believe I did, toasting her bright future with a big batch of Clover Bishcuits.

While I don’t really have a reason for making these cookies halloween themed – aside from the spooky way she was overlooked by the judges like a ghost – that doesn’t make them any less delicious. I mean, almondy sugar cookies? Sign. Me. Up.

Enjoy!

Clover Bishcuits
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
250g unsalted butter, softened
250g raw caster sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp almond extract
500g plain flour
1 tsp baking powder

Method
Cream the butter and sugar together in a large bowl using a stand mixture until it is pale and so fluffy it looks to be pulsating. Add the eggs one at a time, allowing the mixture to come back together in between, before beating in the almond extract. Fold through the flour and baking powder before returning to the mixer and beating for a minute or so, or until it comes together into a ball. Shape into two discs, wrap in some cling and pop in the fridge to bind for about an hour or so.

Preheat the oven to 170C and roll the dough out to a 5mm thickness. Cut using whatever cookie cutters you desire, though I recommend something to highlight Clover’s robbery. Pop the shapes on lined baking sheets and knead the offcuts together, roll and cut into more shapes, repeating until done.

Pop the cookies in the oven to bake for 10-15 minutes, or until firming and lightly browned. Remove and leave to cool on the tray for 10 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely. Then either devour, or decorate in your spookiest manner and then devour.


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Nestiah Cake

Baking, Cake, Dessert, Drag Race España, Drag Race España 3, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race España the eliminated queens popped up in the mirror post-Visa’s elimination and while they acted cranky, they were generally just excited to be back. To make that a permanent situation, however, they would have to pair up with one of the surviving queens to perform a comedy set, with the winning loser coming back. And two queens going home. Defying the solo queen curse, Clover was a killer host while Pitita struggled through being paired with her nemesis Visa. Pink meanwhile was bland with her nemesis The Macarena while Pakita and Maria were just awkward. Vania and Kelly, meanwhile, were perfection from start to finish, earning Kelly her place back in the competition and Vania her first official win. At the other end of the pack Pitita gagged the dolls as she won the lip sync – deservedly – sending Pink and Pakita out the door with their previously fallen sisters.

Backstage Pitita was thrilled to still be in the competition, given she was and is the frontrunner and felt like her one bad day shouldn’t be what sent her home. Though trust and believe she doesn’t mind that two other potential finalists were sent out the door in her place. As the dolls sat down, she continued to raise herself up which frustrated Bestiah who wasn’t feeling her ego. Thankfully talk turned to zaddy Kelly’s triumphant return, with everyone thrilled for her and Vania for snatching the win on account of them being beloved. Despite them knowing Clover was just as deserving, though she admitted she too would have brought Kelly back given she was so supportive of her before she left. And you know, she felt super guilty about being the one to send her home.

The next day everyone was still thrilled to have Kelly back, Pitita though, was mainly happy because they now only have one other spot in the bottom they could possibly land in. You know, since Kelly is a power bottom. Everyone felt it was quiet without Pink before talk turned to what challenge they could possibly face next. Before they got too wild with their theories, Supremme dropped by to announce that for their Mini Challenge this week they’d be looking at the hottest member of the Pit Crew and then partnering up for someone to beat their mug in 3 minutes while blindfolded with the founder of Krash Kosmetics judging who did the best job. Hornella had Kelly looking like she was hit with a faulty Simpsons make-up cannon, Bestiah had Clover looking like a work of modern art – kinda – while Vania brutalised Pitita’s face in all the right ways. So obviously Clover and Bestiah won, simply by being the least shit.

Supremme then announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge they’d be playing a game of Un Dos Drags and while it feels like a new version of Snatch Game, it brought out Zaddy Pit Crew and two of his friends so, werk. The dolls then all grabbed bags to figure out how they’d be paired up in the challenge, with Kelly and Hornella staying paired up, Vania working with Vania and Pitita and Clover left as the final duo. Despite Pitita being the clear frontrunner, Clover was nervous how they would go, but you know the judges will eat her up, despite me thinking it is deserved. But back to the challenge, the dolls would have to figure out characters then go play the game and try and get as many laughs as possible, basically. After Supremme departed the dolls split up to work through their characters with Vania and Bestiah going the mother daughter route, Pitita and Clover meanwhile went with a married Catalonian couple as Hornella and Kelly debated between vintage and influencers.

We ventured to set where Las hermanas Hurtado were apparently still stuck on the original set from 30 years ago as they faced off against three new duos. Vania and Bestiah were committed to their character work, though were kinda lacking humour. On the other hand, Pitita and Clover were perfect as Catalonian peasants, while Hornella and Kelly were delightfully vapid. As the game progressed Vania grew hornier – which, relatable – while Bestiah tried to get silly, though kinda didn’t land. Pitita and Clover’s characters meanwhile were perfect for the questions as they prudishly named dick euphemisms, while Hornella and Kelly looked to be competing in different challenges. They then started cracking eggs on each other’s faces and while I was confused by the challenge in general, it is clear that Pitita and Clover are back on top while the rest were all kinda hoping for the best, given there is minimal skill involved.

Dia de eliminacion finally arrived – that was longer than a rusical, though way less interesting – as the dolls spoke about how much fun they had in the challenge. Which I guess is a silver lining for them, at least? They split up to beat their mugs with Bestiah opening up to Clover and Pitita about how she prefers not to label herself with a gender, admitting she doesn’t talk about it with her family though, given they are still grasping with the more basic concepts. She then shared that her sister – who has down syndrome – is the only person that has never judged anyone, just accepting everything at face value and living her best life like a bloody icon. Vania, Kelly and Hornella meanwhile were busy speaking about the latter’s diagnosis of HIV and how traumatic it was going to unknown doctors and having a cold experience while trying to grapple with things. They then pivoted to how bad sex education is and TBH, it is important that all countries overhaul it as sending people into the world without any understanding is super dangerous.

Supremme, Ana y Los Javis were joined by Maria Pelae as Vania opened the Una Ilusion runway as a stunning graffiti icon that glowed in the dark. And damn, it was goooood Clover served astronaut floating in space like Sandy B in Gravity, Bestiah was stun-ning as a demonic bug, ripping apart its own guts, Kelly glided across the stage as lady Zeus, while Pitita gave stunning Middle Aged queen with a hidden laser kinky side before Hornella was a burnt bride before ripping out her own heart. Just on the wrong side. 

Vania received universal praise for her neon look, despite it not offering much illusion while they all agreed she was held back in the challenge. Clover on the other hand was beloved for nailing the challenge and serving an absolutely stunning, creative runway, despite Ana thinking it was a little too costumey. Because of COURSE they have to shit on her for something. Bestiah was read for being one note in the challenge, though they loved her runway. Kelly on the other hand was praised for being fun in the challenge, though was read for a basic runway. Pitita was back to her usual universal praise for each and every moment she served this week – collect the crown now, TBH – while Hornella was praised for being fun in the challenge and giving a solid look.

Before dismissing the dolls, Supremme asked them who should go home with Vania giving a straight up f-you to the question, saying she should go home as she’d refuse to name her sisters as they are like daughters to her now. Clover named Vania, Bestiah thought it should be Kelly, Kelly in turn named Pitita for being the biggest threat, Pitita returned serve and named Kelly while Hornella also felt her partner should head back to power bottoming.

Backstage the dolls were rather subdued as Hornella shared she only Kelly because she felt she could take the feedback. Right on cue, Kelly shared she was proud of herself and didn’t mind, leading to Vania breaking down over how far she has come though hates to stumble this close to the end. Straight up admitting that she doesn’t want to fight any of her sisters, meaning she wouldn’t put up much of a fight in a lip sync, I assume. Clover apologised for naming her, with Vania admitting she was right, as Bestiah shared that she doesn’t care what the judges said about their performance as she loved working with her. As they both sobbed. Hornella jumped in to praise them all for making it this far, reminding everyone how great they are and to be proud of all that they have achieved. While Clover and Pitita were obviously just thrilled to be in the top this week.

Ultimately Pitita took out her fourth win of the season before Clover was sent to safety alongside her. Hornella was next to be deemed safe before Vania was gagged to join them, leaving Bestiah to face off against the power bottom herself, Kelly Roller. Even after Vania offered to trade out with her sisters. As soon as Maria Pelae’s La Nina kicked off it was clear Kelly had zero intention of going home again, stripping off to reveal a camp swimsuit, complete with wig reveal. While both dolls hit every lyric and served camp – and a crunchy duck walk from Bestiah – the judges opted to keep Kelly for another day as Bestiah found herself booted from the competition. Or bested, if you will.

Backstage I pulled her in for a massive hug, thanking her for giving such a strong performance – I mean, her looks were always on point – reminding her that when it gets this close to the end, they are down to send home the good queens and as such, she should hold her head up high. And while it was far from being my best pep talk, it worked, so we celebrated her success with a decadent Nestiah Cake.

This tweaked version of a Nigella classic is oh so delicious. Adding in a little bit of an almond twist, the rich chocolatey cake retains its lightness, while the cream and eggs add the camp Eastery touch that I feel is appropriate year round.

Enjoy!

Nestiah Cake
Serves: 8-12.

Ingredients
375g dark chocolate
125g unsalted butter
6 eggs
175g raw caster sugar
2 tsp almond extract
250ml double cream
1 tsp vanilla extract
mini chocolate eggs, to top

Method
Preheat the oven to 160C and line the base of a 23cm springform tin with baking paper.

Using a double boiler melt 250g of the dark chocolate and the butter, stirring until combined and shiny. Remove from the heat and allow to cool slightly.

Separate four of the eggs and whisk the whites in a stand mixer – popping the yolks in another bowl – with 100g of the sugar until they are glossy and hold their shape, but not stiff. Ughhhhh.  Remove the bowl and trade out with another, whisking the whole eggs with the yolks, remaining sugar and almond extract. Once combined, fold in the chocolate until it comes back together. Spoon in a little bit of the fluffy whites, folding through quickly, before gently folding through the rest. Transfer to the lined tin and pop in the oven to cook for 40 minutes, or until risen, set and cracked. If there is any jiggly, leave for an extra five minutes.

Remove the cake to cool in the tin on a wire rack, not worrying about the fact it will sink rapidly and crater.

Once cool, melt the remaining chocolate in a microwave and allow to cool. Whip the cream until it is just starting to thicken but still malleable. Add the vanilla and chocolate, folding through and transferring into the centre of the cake. Top with the mini eggs and pop in the fridge to set for about half an hour before devouring, like an icon.


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Chocolate, Hazelnut & Mrspresso Eskashagot Davis

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on All Stars the dolls starred in live sketch comedy show RDR live (and despite having three SNL cast members appearing across the season, hilariously none guest judged the episode). After rehearsal, Lala approached Heidi about forming a little bit of an alliance, making Heidi far and away the most protected person on the cast should she ever land in the bottom. One of her OG allies Jimbo absolutely slayed the challenge with light and shade – as did Heidi herself, Jessica and Jaymes – while Kahanna was one note and Naysha just got lost. Ultimately Jimbo took out victory – that runway – and faced off against UK vs. the World nemesis, Pangina, who obviously won the lip sync, leaving Naysha to be sent home by the girls.

Backstage Jimbo was well and truly feeling her oats after taking out the win – murder by lip sync, be damned – while Jessica was gutted to have lost her sister Naysha. Who reminded the dolls that she will always be prettier than them via mirror message, so she is ok to be eliminated. After sitting down to receive her flowers from the dolls, Jimbo revealed she also voted for Naysha given Kahanna just won the week before. On that note Kahanna counted the lipsticks – eventually – gagged to see three votes for her, with Jessica admitting that she just couldn’t bring herself to vote for her Puerto Rican sister. And she did not give a shit about what anyone feels about that decision. MKD then admitted to being the other one that voted for her, opening up that she reacted to Naysha’s emotional plea in Untucked and while Kahanna assured her dolls there is no bad blood, Mrs. Kasha Davis, you in danger girl. And I hate that for us.

The next day the dolls were excited to potentially be lip syncing for $30K this week. Well, if they win, that is. Everyone asked Jaymes about her kerchief, with her admitting it is hankie code for bondage, which made Kahanna wet. Alexis asked everyone if they had been in a swing, with her arm shooting straight up before Jaymes admitted she had, while Heidi offered that she had pushed someone in one, as she is what? A dom top. Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge they would be throwing a little ball. Specifically the Supermarket Ball, first they would be stomping the runway in a Legen-dairy Queen look, the second would be Fruity Patootie and finally they would design and make a Supermarket Supermodel Eleganza look for the third runway. Using only supermarket supplies. Carried in by an epically large Pit Crew and hot damn, my basement is flooded. I mean, it was Spain up in here.

After aggressively rifling through the goods the dolls split up to figure out what the hell they would design, with Jimbo worried about looking messy while MKD admitted the only balls she has dabbled in are Mr Davis’. She ran her ideas by Heidi to try and lock her plan, desperate to prove herself and get out of the safe zone. Jessica meanwhile was drowning in diapers, giddy for her first go at a ball. Jaymes meanwhile was hoping her one sewing class would have her shining, while Lala was drowning in PTSD, knowing she can’t do a viral fuck-up again. And while she assured us she learnt to sew, she forgot to add thread to the machine, so yup. Kandy meanwhile was just confused about what happens in a supermarket, and therefore unsure what to serve and straight up drawing stick figures and shapes for her design.

The Miss Congenialities caught up to reconfirm their alliance and while Heidi cautioned they need to keep it quiet, they got interrupted every ten seconds and ugh, dolls, this ain’t going to work. Kandy meanwhile spiced things up, pointing out Alexis is constantly horny and ready to have the dolls come over for a chicken dinner. While MKD admitted she made out with Darienne back in the day. Ru dropped by to Kiki as Jimbo told her about her weird ideas, leaving Ru in hysterics, despite Jimbo deciding to serve high fashion instead. Darienne’s plan was to serve colour, Alexis was hoping to survive the ball this time – or at least not go blind – with a hyper fashion look while Jessica was just ready to surprise Ru. With diapers. Kahanna was going with some yellow, assuring Ru that from here on out, she will be voting based on revenge – watch out MKD. Heidi’s plan was tequila sunrise, before sobbing as she opened up to Ru about losing her grandmother and how she didn’t get to say goodbye due to COVID. 

Elimination Day arrived with Kandy putting on a brave face despite her nerves, given her look is a bit of a mess. She was hopeful she could be safe however, given Darienne’s look is just a little bit messier. As Lala and Jaymes beat their mugs, Jimbo asked if Lala planned to serve something iconic again and while Kandy admitted she didn’t even notice how bad the bag look was before they took the runway, Lala obviously called shady boots. MKD showed off an image of her husband, with Alexis admitting she was desperate for a relationship while Darienne scoffed, talking about her passion for being single. With everyone talking about how important it is to be ok on your own, before Alexis encouraged them all to love themselves because Alexis. Heidi brought it back to the competition, talking about how there is usually a unanimous vote early on, with everyone dancing around the fact they came to play this season and it is very unlikely there will be one. Essentially.

Ru, Michelle and TS were joined by Lemon, sorry, Jojo Siwa as Jimbo opened the Legen-dairy Queen runway with a mod inspired milk bubble look. Kahanna had her udders out as a slutty cow, Jaymes was iconic serving milk and cookies with hands all over her body before Kandy served glam spilt milk. Alexis ate grass as she stomped the runway as a biker cow, Lala gave bondage cow, Darienne was fold after fold of satin, Jessica was the most glamorous bowl of cereal, MKD gave sour cream – my fave – while Heidi rocked sexy milk man and ugh, she looked good.

When it came to Fruity Patootie, Jumbo served queer icon Warhol, Kahanna served full banana – split me – Jaymes gave us a lemon showgirl number, Kandy popped our cherry as another showgirl, Alexis was stunning as a blueberry, Lala gave slutty caramel apple, Darienne gave messy gown before revealing her banana split bodysuit.Jessica went on a picnic of açai to day drink, MKD served banana Mame before Heidi stole the show as a gloriously plump strawberry.

In their Supermarket Supermodel Eleganza looks, Jumbo stunned in a full lettuce and artichoke gown, Kahanna was a Swedish superhero, Jaymes was stunning in a sexy housewife number, Kandy shimmered in silver – aka foil fire blankets – Alexis gave shimmer and fringe and it was alright before Lala gave Grace Jones realness in cream, getting redemption but probs not the win. Darienne was an absolute mess in strips of colour with crinkled foil trailing behind her. Jessica Wild was perfection as a pink garden nymph while MKD was worse than Darienne selling cake. And so much, too much, colour. While Heidi was a mess, but was lucky to walk after MKD.

Kahanna, Jaymes, Alexis and Heidi were sent to safety before Jimbo received universal praise for each and every look, despite the made look being lettuce glued on a bodysuit. Kandy was read for giving the same silhouette, though they lived for her confidence and the fact her made look mixed things up. Lala meanwhile received all the praise, with the judges in particular proud of her design look. Darienne on the other hand was read for messing up all the details, aside from a solid middle look. Jessica rightly received all the praise for everything she served before MKD was read for only serving sour, not sour cream and while her middle look was perfect, they all agreed her design look was an absolute mess. Completely. Ultimately it was Jessica that took out victory before Jimbo, Kandy and Lala were deemed safe, tragically leaving Darienne and MKD up for elimination.

Backstage Kahanna praised everyone for surviving the ball with them agreeing Jimbo and Kandy would be in the top, while Kahanna didn’t buy Jessica would be in there with them. They all agreed MKD would be in the bottom, though couldn’t agree whether Darienne was a mess. Alexis praised Heidi for her Legen-dairy look, which triggered Heidi, who felt she deserved to be in the top. And with the lack of sleep and stress, she had had it. Officially. Alexis then felt tipsy before borrowing Kandy’s first neckpiece to do a little impersonation. She then realised she had to go back out to the stage though, so her sisters over blushed their cheeks like Kandy to go back out in solidarity. 

As the tops and bottoms joined them, they were confused by their Kandy inspired makeup while the safe girls were gagged by Jessica taking out the win. Jimbo checked in with Heidi to see if she was feeling ok, with the soft and supple queen barely containing her disappointment and ugh, I hate it. They opened up that MKD and Darienne are up for elimination, before Jessica pulled Darienne aside with Ms Lake pointing out her looks weren’t reviled like MKD’s final look and as such, she shouldn’t go. And if she stays, she will have her back. Alliance style. Heidi meanwhile was sassily reading Jimbo’s dairy look. MKD was next to talk to Jessica, admitting while she bombed on the third look, she feels like she deserves to stay – I agree – though assured Jessica she has a loving family waiting for her back at home and as such, she is happy either way. Which disappointed Jessica, given she wanted to see her fight.

Back with the dolls Kandy joked about whether anyone felt they should have been in the top, with Heidi not having her jokes, telling her the dolls will be gagged tonight as she will be quitting. While Kandy tried to assure her she is amazing and will get her time to shine, she was well and truly ready to walk as she felt she has shown enough. Jojo then dropped by backstage and while she was at an 11, I think that was just her, as she thanked the dolls for showing people their talent and for helping make it easier for queer kids. With Kandy in turn thanking her for coming out so visibly and making other kids feel ok to be queer.

With that the dolls voted before Jessica took her place on the stage before Canada vs. the World winner Ra’Jah was announced as the assassin. As soon as Kim Petras Coconuts kicked off, Jessica revealed her epic bouncing kitties under her coat, which obviously had Ru and Michelle in hysterics. While Ra’Jah was just straight up living her best life, turning a show, because that is what does. But Ru loves a bouncing titty, so you know Jessica took out victory and the epic $30K tip. Which broke our little accountant Kandy’s heart to learn she’s back down to only a $10K kitty. Darienne and MKD took their places on stage before Jessica pulled her lipstick out of her wrist, surprisingly not the titty, eliminating MKD from the competition and ugh, I hate it here.

As Mrs. Kasha Davis arrived in the Werk Room, I pulled her in for a massive hug, selfishly, to be held as I sobbed and sobbed over my loss. Well hers, but mine and ours. Through tears, I told her how sad it was to see her go so soon, particularly since I’ve been waiting years and years for what should have been a triumphant return. Given MKD is wise, however, she assured me that she knows how talented she is and as such, is ok going home. And well, I guess that should be ok with me, given she is and forever will be a camp, sweet icon who is more than worthy of a delicious Chocolate, Hazelnut & Mrspresso Eskashagot Davis or six.

I first encountered this little delight at Agnes Bakery, and knew I would have to try a copycat at home. And while, yes, they are a little more flaky than my hand rolled number, they are still delicious. Like a nutella mocha, this melts in your mouth and keeps you coming back for more.

Enjoy!

Chocolate, Hazelnut & Mrspresso Eskashagot Davis
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
1 batch David Croissant dough
1 cup dark chocolate, finely chopped
1 cup hazelnuts, half blitzed and the other half roughly chopped
¼ cup espresso
¼ cup muscovado sugar
1 tsp cinnamon

Method
Prepare David’s recipe all the way through the lamination and final resting process. When that is almost complete, combine the dark chocolate, blitzed hazelnuts, coffee, muscovado sugar and cinnamon in a bowl.

Preheat the oven to 220C.

Roll the dough out until about half centimetre thick – or thicker, given it is tough and I am lazy – smear the chocolatey paste over the top to coat before rolling up from the short end to form a sausage. Cut into 2cm thick discs and pop on a lined baking sheet, before pressing some of the chopped hazelnuts into the top.

Open your oven and with a wet hand, sprinkle in a little water. Transfer the escargot to the oven, spritz with a little more water and close, immediately dropping the temperature to 180C. Bake for 15-20 minutes, or until golden and crisp, spinning the tray halfway through cooking.

Remove and allow to cool for about 15 minutes before devouring, gleefully.


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Jaime Lynormandy Pearuiz Cake

Baking, Cake, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 44, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor our icon Carolyn was inspired by the release of the remake of The Little Mermaid, designing impressive statement jewellery using the shells of lobsters and prawns. Actually, maybe it isn’t inspired and more she went on a Mad Max style adventure through the ocean. After Yam Yam took out his first immunity challenge of the season – the iconic Last Gasp – the tribe were split on who was the most threatening. You had Ratus and Sokas looking to put aside their differences to take out Carson while the Tika couldn’t trio couldn’t decide which side was more dangerous, and then of course, who was worse for their game on Soka. With Queen Carolyn ultimately coming out on top and playing an idol to save her baby Carson, completing her revenge arc as Danny made his way to the jury.

Back at camp Heidi was way more chill about being on the outs at tribal council, with everyone more focused on Carolyn’s iconic – though needless – idol play. Despite it not changing the outcome, Carolyn was proud of the fact it kept the Tika trio safe to the top six. She then regaled everyone with her tales of finding the idol and while it was cute, Yam Yam was worried she was showing everyone just how smart she is and as such, feared she is fast becoming the biggest threat. Sensing the idol would be rehidden, Heidi woke up early to go hunting. Though sadly for her, Carson spotted her stirring and as such, he woke everyone up and told them they too should go out and look. While Lauren was more focused on luring Carolyn into climbing trees to collect her coconuts. The Ratus caught up with Carson and Yam Yam back at camp, with Lauren floating the idea of getting rid of Carolyn next, like her coconut collector means nothing to her. While Carson had absolutely no interest in turning on his island mama, he also knew he had to pretend to be keen in order to blindside one of them.

The tribe caught up with Probst by the beach for an epic team reward where two blindfolded members would push another person around, strapped inside a ball before solving a table maze. With the two free people still blindfolded. And given it was for a massive afternoon of food and massages, everyone was fired up. Carolyn and Heidi were pushing Jamie on one team, while Yam Yam and Lauren rolled Carson for the other. And from the jump, the latter trio got out to an epic lead as Carson calmly directed his team mates to the end before solving the maze before the other trio barely made it through the course.

We followed the victors to their reward where Yam Yam was delighted to finally have a reward, smashing food and living his absolute best life. As they sat down to enjoy their massages, the boys continued to paint Carolyn as a massive target to Lauren and while Carson assured us it was just to lull her into a false sense of security, Yam Yam was definitely feeling like it may actually be time to make a move on Carolyn. Speaking of our icon, she, Heidi and Jamie were dejected to be slumming it at camp. But instead of wallowing, they got to work figuring out which of the victors needed to go next, with Jamie pushing for Carson. And while Carolyn knows she can’t beat him, she also felt it wasn’t the right time. As Jamie went idol hunting, Carolyn and Heidi caught up with the duo agreeing they feel like they can’t trust Jamie and Lauren, and as such, know they need to hold firm. For now.

After the groups came back together, Yam Yam burped in Carolyn’s face – as requested – before Carolyn and Carson caught up to fill each other in on the conversations they had missed. Agreeing that either Jamie or Lauren need to go, given Heidi gives them an easier path to the end. Yam Yam meanwhile caught up with Jamie and floated the idea of getting rid of Carolyn at the next vote instead and while Jamie was still more nervous about Carson, she was happy just as long as one of the Tikas went and as such, gladly locked in on the vote. And Yam Yam, please don’t do this to me, ok?

The tribe caught up with Jeffrey once again as he explained that to snatch immunity, they would have to balance a ball on a disc that is held flat by two ropes with the last person standing winning. Jamie was the first to drop, quickly followed by Carolyn and Carson, before Yam Yam just missed out on going to the next stage. Heidi and Jamie moved further away from their discs before resetting and battling it out until Heidi couldn’t hold it any longer, handing Lauren immunity.

Back at camp everyone split up to scramble, with Carolyn and Heidi concerned about the fact nobody was talking to them. As such, they locked in their votes against Jamie. Heidi meanwhile was hopeful that she was being told the truth, but knew that worst case, she has her idol. While Carolyn was looping in the boys, Heidi stumbled upon them, with everyone agreeing to get rid of Jamie. Hopeful that even if she has an idol, she is so confident in the boys voting with her that she doesn’t play it. Yam Yam caught up with Lauren and Jamie to lock in the Carolyn vote and while I think the plan is to only make them think they are working together, he then caught up with Carson and floated that maybe they would turn it into a reality. And ugh, I hate it here. While King Carson calmly tried to steer him back to their original plan, Jamie. As Yam Yam debated the merits of trusting his brain and his heart.

At tribal council Probst was gagged to discover the tribe had brought everything with them, assuming they will be sent to a new beach for the rest of the game. Yam Yam joked about holding on to the rice as an immunity idol, while Carson just felt anxious about being vulnerable. Jamie mentioned that they still have to try and navigate around advantages, which Yam Yam agreed complicated everybody’s decision making. Jamie meanwhile wanted to jazz up her resume – her words – while Yam Yam admitted he is getting more and more confused about who would be best to go to the end, which complicates who he is working with. While Carson just worried about going through a break-up this close to the end. Yam Yam admitted he is getting more and more emotional when it comes to the votes, knowing his head needs to win at this point, which obviously made Carolyn nervous.

Our Queen spoke about the fact she has clearly played an emotional game, but that also doesn’t mean that she can’t be strategic. But yeah, you know she is emotional about the vote. Yam Yam then plainly said that the person leaving tonight is the one that needs to leave for the sake of everyone’s game. And ugh, I want to vom. With that the tribe voted, Heidi played her idol for herself before it thankfully turned out not to be my sweet icon Carolyn going home as the boys stayed loyal, joining Carolyn and Heidi to send Jamie off to the jury.

As she arrived at Ponderosa, I pulled Jamie in for a massive hug and just embraced her kind, loving, exuberant spirit. And then realised the producers have really been trolling her for the entire season through no fault of her own, so stealthily covered her ears and told her fellow jurors to break the fake idol information to her gently. Sadly I forgot as soon as I uncovered her ears, carelessly lol-ing about her closest ally making her the producers’ target of the season. Thankfully, though, she is a delight, so took it in stride and calmly sat down to smash a fresh Jaime Lynormandy Pearuiz Cake.

Rich and sweet pears and the dense crumb of the cake pair perfectly for either an afternoon treat or a decadent dessert. Better still, this cake is super easy to make but will always have you looking like a pro in the kitchen.

Enjoy!

Jaime Lynormandy Pearuiz Cake
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
150g butter, at room temperature, plus extra for greasing
¾ cup raw caster sugar
2 eggs
1 ½ cups flour
1 tbsp baking powder
½ cup sour cream
500g pears, peeled, cored, roughly diced
½ cup walnuts, roughly chopped
⅓ cup sultanas
1 tsp mixed spice
½ tsp cinnamon
⅓ cup brandy
2 tbsp maple syrup
icing sugar and/or double cream, for sprinkling or dolloping respectively

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C and rub some butter around the edge of a 23cm springform pan and place a disc of baking paper on the base.

Cream the butter and caster sugar in a stand mixer on medium until pale and fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time, allowing the mixture to come back together in between. Fold through the flour and baking powder, and once together, fold through the sour cream. Return to the mixer on low and beat for a further minute. Remove from the mixer and fold through the pear, walnuts, sultanas, mixed spice and cinnamon. Transfer the batter to the prepared tin and pop it in the oven to bake for 45 minutes, or until an insert skewer comes out clean.

While the cake cooks, combine the brandy and maple syrup in a small saucepan over low heat and cook, stirring, for a couple of minutes, or until combined.

Once the cake is done, use the skewer to pierce holes over the surface before pouring over the syrup. Leave to rest for about 15 minutes before transferring to a wire rack and removing the sides of the tin. Serve barely warm with a dusting of sugar or dollop of cream, and devour joyously.


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Frannberry Ice Creamarin

Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 44, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Jeffrey wheeled out the annual Angelina Keeley Memorial Rice Bartering at the immunity challenge and despite Danny encouraging everyone to power ahead without going for the food, four people sat out and secured the bag. As Danny assured them they wouldn’t be voted out. After Frannie secured another win, the tribe got to scrambling back at camp as Tika continued to play the other factions off against each other. Ratu meanwhile were focused on advantage roulette to fight a Knowledge is Power play, with Lauren handing her extra vote to Jamie to play while Jamie in turn handed her unbeknownst-to-her fake idol to Kane. Who promptly walked out the door with it in his pocket, which upset her given she still, somehow, thought it was real.

Back at camp Frannie too was shocked by Kane’s departure, given she had been expecting Jamie to go home. Danny assured her it just came together too late to let her know, however she took it as a sign she should continue to worry about Tika. Lauren too was confused given she has no idea about the plan, worried about the dwindling numbers of Ratu members and what it means for her game. Carson on the other hand was busy doing damage control with Jamie, telling her that Kane told everyone about her idol and as such, that is why he was ultimately voted out. She then obviously vowed to us that she would find a new idol – or come clean about Kane taking it with him to the jury – to get the target off her back, unaware it was a fake anyway.

The next day the tribe met up with Probst for a reward challenge where they would have to spin in a frame to wind in a buoy, collect balls on a balance beam and then land said balls on a trough. For an epic overnight reward at the sanctuary, complete with tacos and margs in honour of Shonee, one assumes. Obviously Frannie powered ahead from the start as Danny nipped at her heels. The balance beam was a great equaliser with everyone catching up before Frannie once again pulled ahead and promptly jagged reward before anyone else even landed a ball. Probst being Probst he told Frannie the reward also included letters from home, and that she would be able to invite someone to enjoy it with her, with her picking Carolyn. After Carolyn sobbed through her thanks, Probst let her pick another, going with Lauren before Probst gave her just one more spot with her selecting Heidi. Leaving Jamie and the boys to head back to camp.

Back to camp where things were well and truly bleak. It was cold and rainy as Yam Yam smarted about missing out on yet another reward, admitting he is just so hungry and is emotional knowing that a letter from his husband is sitting somewhere on the island while he was stuck at camp missing him. Thankfully Jamie and Danny sweetly assured him it will be ok, letting him feel his emotions and assuring him that they were there to support. Given they were all bitter though, Frannie was now definitely public enemy number one.

Speaking of Frannie, she was busy giddily smashing the margs and getting into the food as Carolyn gushed about how sweet she was to have immediately chosen the mums. Frannie spoke about how much she looks up to Carolyn, seeing someone that doesn’t care about fitting in and is true to herself. We then got a supercut of everyone reading their letters, learning just how iconic Lauren is as a powerful single mother that has fought so hard to get to where she is. Carolyn had everyone laughing as she joked about her son not loving writing, shocked that he pulled together a par for her. Despite knowing Frannie was a threat, Carolyn also knew that she couldn’t bring herself to get rid of her – yet – and as such, suggested they get rid of Danny ASAP. Assuming Heidi was on board with them, which she said she was, however I don’t trust it.

Back at camp they were pulling together their counter plan, locking in the vote for Frannie with Danny suggesting they use flushing Jamie’s idol as a fake plan. Seeing her moment, she came clean about her (fake) idol going out in Kane’s pocket and while she felt everyone believed her, they didn’t, locking in a plan to get rid of Jamie instead, should Frannie win immunity. The victors returned to camp the next day with Jamie quickly filling the girls in on her lost idol, and while she once again felt liberated about letting the truth out, everyone thought she was lying and also decided she needed to go ASAP.

Probst made his triumphant return for the immunity challenge where they would be bound and forced to slither through the sand, dragging a buoy along with their mouths. They would then guide the buoy through a rope obstacle before, yep, solving a puzzle. Danny powered ahead like a sexy seal before untying himself and getting to work on his buoy as Carson and Heidi nipped at his heels. As is oft the case, everyone caught up at the puzzle before Carson’s 3D printer came in for the win as he powered through it and quickly jagged himself immunity. As Mama Carolyn looked on with pride, like the sweet icon she is.

Back at camp Frannie was feeling excited to have to play herself out of elimination, given she has been immune at every tribal council she has attended. She, Carolyn, Heidi and Carson locked in the vote for Danny before immediately flipping it to a split between Danny and Jamie, eliminating the latter if she doesn’t play her idol. Danny, Lauren, Yam Yam and Jamie meanwhile were locking in the vote against Frannie, though Yam Yam was still nervous about Jamie too. As such, he approached Carson to see what the best idea was, with them agreeing Jamie and Frannie are both dangerous, though Carson cautioned the latter is growing close with Carolyn and as such, they need to get rid of her to keep Carolyn in their pocket. Which isn’t guaranteed, if Carolyn is annoyed – which she will be – but whatever. 

Danny meanwhile looped Heidi in, though told her he doesn’t even need her vote to get rid of Frannie but cautioned she should jump on board. She immediately took this to Carolyn who grew very nervous, looping in Frannie before they tried to rally the girls to get rid of Heidi given she has been controlling the vote at the last few tribal councils. Knowing they needed one more, she approached Carson who was worried about a last minute change as Carolyn assured him that sometimes last minute plans are the best.

At tribal council Frannie admitted it would have been better to be taken on reward rather than have won it, given she couldn’t keep everyone happy. Danny spoke about how Frannie winning challenges is fast making her a legend, though admitted that all the winning also makes her a threat. Oh and yeah, I’m ignoring Probst trying to make full-tilt boogie a thing. Yam Yam spoke about the fact that it is sometimes more important to lose a few battles to win the war. Jamie once again told the truth about her fake idol, eliciting eyerolls from everyone that clearly didn’t believe her. She then spoke about how the new era of Survivor keeps things fresh week to week, with alliances almost obsolete. 

Danny spoke about how everyone has grown so close, though they are still focused on playing the game, voting out their friends or not. While Carson admitted today was the most stressed he has been all season, and that is when he has immunity. Heidi meanwhile was worried about how many plans have blown up, knowing all it takes to be eliminated is a wrong word at the wrong time. And with that the tribe voted and tragically Carolyn was unable to sway the tribe as her bestie challenge beast Frannie was sent to the jury. To reunite with her sweet boyfriend Matt, who was gutted to see her eliminated but no doubt thrilled to reunite with her.

Before the lovebirds could reunite however, I pulled her in for a hug and through quiet sobs thanked her for being such a joyous part of the season. Proving you can be both a nerd and strong, and dorky and cool, I ship the hell out of her and Matt so much, because they proved that there are still such delightful people in the world and humanity isn’t doomed. Yes, I love them that much. And I look forward to their inevitable return on a Blood Vs Water season and their eventual progression into the modern era Romber. But until then, I thanked her for being an icon and plotted how to tackle her return as we smashed big bowls of Frannberry Ice Creamarin.


This festive feeling ice cream is such a delightful surprise. A little sweet, a hint of spice and tart in all the right ways, even though it may not be something you’d run to on paper, I promise it is delicious.

Enjoy! 


Frannberry Ice Creamarin
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
2 cups double cream
1 ¾ cups raw caster sugar
6 egg yolks
¼ tsp kosher salt
4 cups cranberries
1 orange, zested and juiced
1 cinnamon quill

Method
Combine the double cream and half a cup of the sugar in a heavy based saucepan and bring just to the boil, stirring until sugar is dissolved. Remove from the heat and keep covered.

In a large bowl of the stand mixer, beat the yolks with a quarter of a cup of sugar with the salt on high speed until thick and voluminous. This should take about 3-4 minutes. Reduce to low speed and slowly pour in the hot cream before transferring the combined mixture back to the saucepan. Cook over low heat, constantly stirring, until it reaches 75C and has thickened. Pour the custard through a sieve into a heatproof bowl and leave to cool completely to room temperature.

While it gets chill, combine the remaining sugar, cranberries, orange juice and zest and the cinnamon in a large saucepan and bring to a boil over high heat, stirring frequently. Once boiling, reduce to a simmer and cook for about 15 minutes. Remove from the heat and allow to cool for a couple of minutes before discarding the cinnamon and transferring to a blender. Blitz the mixture until smooth before straining through a sieve into the bowl of custard. Stir until combined and leave to cool again.

Once it has returned to room temperature, transfer to an ice cream maker and churn as per packet instructions before transferring to an airtight container and popping in the freezer to chill for at least 4 hours. And then devour.


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Matt Cornflakinship Brownies

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 44, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor the three tribes dropped their buffs ready for the dragged out, needlessly complex earn the merge episode which is essentially just a split into two tribes with a joint tribal council, but whatever. Thankfully Carson’s passion for 3D printing guaranteed he and Carolyn were safe, though tragically their bestie Yam Yam wasn’t so lucky. And given everyone was worried about Josh having an idol – despite Carolyn assuring them he doesn’t – he quickly became a target. Yam Yam in turn tried to turn things on Kane which was ultimately unnecessary as the group threw caution to the wind, banded together and sent Josh out of the game. Meaning we’ve still only lost minority players or females thus far.

Back at camp Yam Yam quickly told everyone he loves them despite copping some votes and while he was feeling the pressure now that he has had his name out there, he quickly got back to joking about and charming the hell out of everyone and well, we need to protect him and Carolyn at all costs.

The next day everyone came together to pick a tribe name and while nobody bought the fact Yam Yam was actually a Fijian word that would be perfect for the tribe, they did love his suggestion of Va Va meaning 4-4. And by coming together, it was everyone but Matt and Frannie who were on a private date being cute as shit, celebrating the fact he finally has his vote back in addition to having his idol. He then caught up with Brandon, Yam Yam and Kane, with Brandon telling everyone about the fact the cages had two idols – one real, one fake – which made Matt realise he had been played since there was only one in the bag when he snatched his. Slowly he pieced together that Danny must have the real one, offering to show the boys his fake to prove his theory.

Meanwhile Danny was busy catching up with Carson, locking in the next vote as Lauren since she has an extra one. And while Carson was quiet and non-committal, Kane outright shut him down when he approached him with the idea, since the extra vote in the hands of an ally would be super powerful for them later in the game. Begging the question, did I know they were aligned with Lauren? Kane then approached Matt and Frannie about Danny’s plan, suggesting that while Danny is fixated on getting rid of her, it may actually be the perfect time to blindside him instead. And after they pulled in Carson, he realised that he, Carolyn and Yam Yam are sitting pretty in this impending feud between Ratu and Soka.

The tribe came together with Probst where they would each stand on a beam and hold a long pole above their head and balance a ball with the last one standing securing immunity. Oh and since Jiffy Pop can’t go a week without some rando twist, they will be split up into groups of five – why did we merge again? – with a person winning immunity from each group. And the person winning the whole challenge earned immunity for their entire team too. Oh and sadly, only those eligible to be eliminated will be the only ones voting too, meaning someone is about to get screwed to rule as the King or Queen of the Jury. When they split up into groups, Carson was the odd one out, meaning he got to bet on who would win and tie his fate to theirs. Confused? Same. Oh and the winning group would also get PB&Js, because why not.

In any event, Carson locked in with Heidi, Kane, Danny, Frannie and Carolyn, which seemed like a shitty idea as Carolyn became the first to drop. She was followed out by Lauren on the other team, before the remaining people transferred to a narrower portion of the beam. Which immediately cost Kane, followed by Heidi and Danny leaving Carson’s fate in Frannie’s hands. While she continued to power on, Jamie dropped before everyone transitioned to the narrowest portion of the beam. Just like Kane, that transition cost Matt and Yam Yam leaving Frannie and Brandon to battle for their group’s safety. The duo fought valiantly for a little while longer before Brandon dropped, meaning Frannie earnt her group immunity, but left her boyfriend in danger and ugh, I have a horrible feeling this is not going to end well for my sweet angel Matt.

The winners were sent back to camp to smash their sandies as the losers were sent to a different camp to scramble. Meaning in addition to the winners not having a vote, they also don’t have sway, which is infinitely worse. Back at camp, the group joyously smashed the food before talk turned to the upcoming vote, with Frannie and Danny talking about how much nobody wants Matt to go but accepted that it is clearly either him or Yam Yam going. Which obviously scared Carolyn, as she definitely didn’t want to lose her bestie. And just to up the tension for them, there was also an ominous note sitting on the table telling them they couldn’t open it until everyone was done eating.

Before we could address the note we ventured over to the losers’ camp where Brandon was feeling bad to have let his team down, though was thrilled to still be immune in addition to having his vote. Particularly since he also has Lauren and Jamie there who will totally stay Ratu strong. Matt meanwhile knew he was screwed and asked to talk to everyone, though pulled Jamie and Brandon aside to casually mention they may have a crazy plan to get rid of Lauren but if not, he is happy to work with them to take out Yam Yam. Despite the fact Yam Yam is the only one he actually wants to work with. Sadly for Matt, Yam Yam was busy throwing his name out to Lauren, filling him in on the fact Danny and Matt have been throwing out her name because of the extra vote and as such, she was ready to bounce him ASAP.

Back with the victors Frannie opened the note to announce a new advantage locked in the cage with keys hidden around the jungle. The catch being, you could only grab a second key once you’ve tried your key and found it didn’t work. Instantly everyone ran off to look with key after key coming up short before Heidi finally put us out of our misery, unlocking the cage and snatching it for herself. It being the new Control the Vote Advantage, meaning she can choose one player at the upcoming tribal council to force to vote the way she wants. Meaning she could be the one to save both Yam Yam and Matt, if she wants to be my best friend.

We returned to Playa de Loser where Matt was missing his boo Frannie, gifting us a heartbreaking recap of their love, instantly filling me with even more anxiety that it is soon to be ending. Matt and Yam Yam caught up as the former Ratu hung out by the well, with Yam Yam pointing out that if they can get the other group to split their vote, they will be able to force a tie, meaning they just may be able to survive. Sadly for them the trio were busy planning to load all their votes on one person, either Yam Yam as it won’t piss as many people off or Matt to weaken Soka. Wait, no, Lauren wants them to split so we may be saved! 

Frannie and Heidi caught up at the winners’ beach to talk through the advantage, trying to figure out the best way to use it to take control. While everyone was onboard with telling Matt and Yam Yam to vote together, Heidi admitted to Kane that since Matt is so well liked, she is just as concerned about him getting too far as she is about breaking up Ratu.

At tribal council Jamie spoke about how wild it is to once again be in a small group and potentially screwed if your allies are on the wrong side. Almost speaking for the audience about how tired we are of the constant tribal council twists. Matt spoke about the fact he didn’t have his bags or any tricks that may be in them, and when Frannie admitted she hadn’t packed it, he pulled out a papaya to ask Jeff for mercy and to cancel tribal council. When that didn’t work, Matt lay out that it is him and Yam Yam on the block, with the latter admitting he was also very nervous. Lauren and Jamie downplayed it, talking about how one advantage could screw them out of the game, but if they do stay, they also need to think about the six people not voting.

Matt tried to remind everyone how strong of an ally he is, with Brandon admitting he would love to work with him before pointing out he even voted for Yam Yam just the week before. Yam Yam wisely pointed out he has zero allies, while Matt has options, meaning if he is kept, he is more likely to stay loyal, while Matt would flip right back. Matt then was a beautiful angel, breaking down as he talked about his anxiety and nerves before playing the game, and how proud of himself he was to overcome it and play a strong game. As sweet Frannie looked on, beaming with pride. Jeff then called out Yam Yam for deflecting with humour – why show his game, Jeff – with him too breaking down about how growing up as a queer kid in Puerto Rico, he never dreamt he could be here and he now he isn’t ready to go.

As they were about to go out to vote, Heidi stood up and snatched Lauren’s vote, instructing her to vote for Yam Yam. After clarifying whether Heidi controlled one or two of her votes, Lauren kicked off the voting, wisely holding on to her extra as the group united to break up mum and dad, sending Matt out to become the King of the Jury. Which feels so wholesome and lovely I could almost burst. But fuck am I going to miss our sweet king. As soon as her arrived at Ponderosa, I pulled him in for a massive hug and thanked him for playing such an exceptional game and for repping for all the nerds with anxiety. As is becoming a trend this season, I reiterated that due to the twist there was truly not much he could have done to save himself, but I am grateful that someone as kind as him is the one setting the tone of the jury. Which is perfectly shown with a big, fat plate of Matt Cornflakinship Brownies.

As sweet as our nerd king, angel zaddy these elevated brownies are all about balance. Crunchy and soft, sweet and salty, everything about them works together to warm your soul and keep the jury in a positive state. I assume.

Enjoy!

Matt Cornflakinship Brownies
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
375g unsalted butter
150g dark chocolate
5 eggs
200g muscovado sugar
650g raw caster sugar
100g plain flour
50g cocoa powder
1 ½ tsp kosher salt
300ml double cream, at room temperature(ish)
200g cornflakes

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C and line a rectangular cake tin.

Start by melted 125g of butter with the dark chocolate, either in a double boiler or using a microwave. Stir until smooth, shiny and combined, and then leave to rest.

Meanwhile using a stand mixer, beat the eggs, muscovado sugar and 150g of the raw caster sugar until light and fluffy, almost pulsating with the volume. With the mixer on low, slowly pour in the butter and chocolate, mixer until just combined. Remove the bowl from the mixer and fold through the flour, cocoa and half a teaspoon of salt until combined. Pour the batter in the pan and transfer to the oven to bake for 30-40 minutes, or until the brownies are just cooked through. Remove and leave to cool.

To make the caramel cornflakes, pop the remaining sugar in a large saucepan over medium heat and stir until it has melted. This will take a while, but is worth it for an angel like Matt. Keep cooking the sugar until it is a deep golden colour. Remove from the heat and add half of the remaining butter and mixing in. Once combined, add the remaining butter and whisk until that is combined. Followed by the cream, carefully, as this will bubble and spit. Once combined, return to the cooktop and heat for 2 minutes, or until it has thickened slightly. Remove from the heat, stir in the remaining salt, followed by the cornflakes.

Immediately pout the cornflake topping over the brownies and smooth the top. Transfer to the fridge to set for a couple of hours before slicing and devouring.


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