Soa de Muesli Cookies

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars 1, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Global All Stars the dolls starred in boobielicious Boobie Movie sequels in the vein of one of the best episodes of All Stars 2 featuring Thelma and Wheezy and the birth of doo-wa, but make it Barbie. But I’ve digressed. In record time. I mean, the first sentence! Everyone was kind of great this week, but Kween Kong dominated as the giant Jurassic Boobie and rightly took out her second win of the season. Then Ru had to split hairs, tragically going with Gala being overwhelmed by her look on the runway and Eva falling in and out of character as reason to be in the bottom. With the iconic Eva tragically going home.

Backstage the dolls were gagged to have lost Eva though Gala was thrilled to prove that she is a lip sync assassin on the global stage. But vowed to step it up this week to avoid showing those skills too often. Pythia meanwhile was heartbroken to be losing her besties week after week, which in turn breaks my heart because Pythia is the sweetest. Vanity spoke about how sure she was that she was going to lip sync because she is getting stuck further and further in her head. Kween sympathised about how hard that can be, sharing that she felt like that was her experience on her OG season. While Alyssa tried to give a pep talk about them being stars, as they remain while the room gets more spacious.

Oh and then Gala (almost) showed hole, which is important.

The next day the dolls were energised to slay another week, with Alyssa in particular thrilled to get out of the safe zone. Everyone congratulated Kween for getting her second win, before turning their attention to Gala’s survival. Thankfully she and Vanity were ready to rise from the bottom though, so all was right in the world. Or they are back in the bottom tonight. Talk turned to what this week’s challenge could be before Ru dropped by to put the girl’s through a little quick-drag flight mini challenge. With the make-up being done in the air, during a heavy bout of turbulence. And hot damn it was silly, fun and a solid reminder of the kind of challenges we enjoyed in the early years when there was an off season. That being said, there was allegedly a judging criteria somewhere and that handed Tessa the win. 

Ru asked the dolls to partner up with the sister they would like to have a drink with, leaving Nehellenia alone. Leaving her free to pick her throuple. Tessa and Alyssa formed one duo, with Kween and Gala, and Vanity and Soa the others, while Kitty and Pythia’s couple was joined by the aformentioned third, in the form of Nelly. Ru then explained that the pairings are important for this week’s maxi challenge as before the season, they were all asked to pack a suitcase of raw materials, which their partner would now be using to design a cocktail dress. So congratulations Tessa, because Alyssa’s supplies are going to be expensive. While Kween will be naked, given Gala loves to serve body and Kween has a lot of it.

After dropping that bomb, Ru exited and allowed the dolls to go through their new supplies. Soa was thrilled with Vanity’s golden fabric while Vanity was hoping the emerald green would be enough to get her rudemption. As predicted, Tessa was delighted by her luxe new materials while Alyssa was ready to break down looking at the scraps she inherited from Tessa. Literal scraps. Kween was excited that Gala actually pulled together a bunch of fabrics, looking forward to serving another design, given it is her bread and butter. While Gala was hoping to serve glamour with the lovely fabrics she inherited. Our throuple were a little more apprehensive as Nehellenia inherited two lycras from Kitty, along with a lace, much to her disgust. Kitty on the other hand was loving her suitcase from Pythia.

As they got to work on their looks, Soa grew more and more nervous about the process, though was hopeful there were enough terrible designers in the pack to help her scrape through one more time. Given Alyssa can’t sew, Tessa has questionable taste and Nehellenia was in tears over her fabrics and unable to focus. Kitty briefly checked in to see if she was ok, before flipping it and confronting her for being ungrateful for the multiple, expensive fabrics she inherited when other girls just got one option.

Before the fight could explode, Ru dropped by to kiki with Tessa continuing to delight in how well stocked Alyssa’s suitcase was and how she will be using it to her advantage. Alyssa meanwhile showed off her collection of scraps. Ru praised Alyssa for turning look after look each and every week, cautioning her to not be too boring with her design and oh Alyssa, you (may be) in danger girl. Soa meanwhile was going to glue, drape and hope for the best, Vanity was going rich-glam bow, Gala was going luxe whore and Kween was planning to serve Gala by way of Grace Jones. Nehellenia was still pressed about her fabric though her design looked exceptional, Kitty was planning to twin it with Ru and Pythia had essentially done her dress already and it looked incredible.

Oh and then Kitty handed Nehellenia a tagline in the form of ‘margherita pizza’, which delighted Ru to no end.

After Ru departed again, the dolls quickly buckled down to pull their dresses together. Which in Vanity’s case was just making it over and over again, as she kept changing her mind. Two-thirds of the throuple, on the other hand, were vibing, while Nehellenia was now battling with the sewing machine.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to beat their mugs with Gala ready to serve body-ody-ody, sharing that she would be padding today and trying something new. Soa meanwhile was lightening her make-up as Michelle requested, as Kween sweetly coached her how to work with the skin tone. Tessa was hoping her gown would finally get Alyssa to adopt her and if not, she would like an expensive meal to congratulate her on her win. Vanity meanwhile was spiralling, as she tried too many options the day before and was left with nothing more than scraps, so was literally working paper on to the new gown she was pulling together in the minutes before stepping on the runway.

Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by the gorgeous Jasmine Tookes as Alyssa Edwards opened the 5 O’Clock Somewhere runway trying her best to enjoy her cheap fabric like only Katy Perry could. Alyssa’s words, which I co-sign. Tessa meanwhile was stunning, feeling all her oats and giving her best Alyssa. Soa’s dress lacked shape but hot damn, her make-up was stunning. Vanity somehow managed to pull the look together serving avant garde Poison Ivy, Kween served expensive frill neck lizard, Gala meanwhile looked like Alyssa Edwards doing Marilyn Monroe, Kitty was a silly delight, once again giving night on the town. Nehellenia looked lovely, though she herself hated everything about her ugly dress. While Pythia gave gilded glam and looked stunning, despite her wig not making much sense.

Alyssa, Kitty and Nehellenia were sent to safety before the judges lavished Tessa with all the praise for serving such a stunning look. And by Tessa, Alyssa’s fabrics. Soa’s softened mug was beloved, as was the colour, though she was read for the general shape of her gown. Vanity was praised for the concept, though read for the general execution as she opened up about struggling with her inner saboteur. Kween was praised for giving something different and finding a way to combine herself and Gala in the look. And getting her rudemption from Down Under. Gala meanwhile was praised for trying something different this week and while the dress wasn’t perfect, they lived for what she was trying to do. Oh and then Pythia was beloved, because she is Pythia. Again, despite the wig.

Backstage the safe dolls were delighted to be deemed as such, though Kitty didn’t waste any time throwing shade at Nehellenia for being so emotional. After clocking the tops, them and the bottoms joined the safe dolls with Tessa delighted by how much the judges lived for everything she served this week. Gala meanwhile was hopeful that she wasn’t the worst and ready to slide by, while Vanity was ready to lip sync and fight for another day. Kween asked her to try and relax and get out of her head so she could enjoy herself. Soa meanwhile knew she was in the bottom, though was so proud of how far she had come.

Ultimately it was Tessa that took out her first win of the season before Kween and Pythia were sent to safety. As was an extremely shocked Vanity, leaving Gala and Soa to lip sync to Jessie J, Ariana Grande and my girl Nicki’s Bang Bang. And let’s just say the assassins proved how they got their titles, giving their everything and hitting every lyric, feeling all the feels and flipping around the stage. Sadly for my sweet Soa, however, Gala proved herself unstoppable, giving all the anger and attitude, saving herself and sending Sia out of the competition.

As is oft the case, it didn’t take Soa to find me backstage. All she had to do was follow my guttural, wailing cries, as I desperately tried to figure out why such a bright star like Soa was sent home early. She pulled me in for a massive hug and assured me that she loves Kween, Kitty and Alyssa, so doesn’t want me to hold it against them that Ru may be appearing to play favourites with her girls. I continued to sob for a minimum of four hours before finally telling Soa how proud of her I am, for pushing herself and showing the world just how talented she is. And while that isn’t a crown, there is a form of win in there somewhere. And if we don’t count that, we can always count the delicious batch of Soa de Muesli Cookies.

There is nothing more delicious that a muesli cookie. I mean, yeah, chocolates and cornflakes and nuts all make delightful fillings, but the simplicity of dates, oats, coconut and raisin are their own wholesome form of fun.

Enjoy!

Soa de Muesli Cookies
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
100g pitted dates, roughly chopped
⅓ cup boiling water
1 egg
2 tbsp honey
¼ cup coconut oil, melted
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 ¼ cups rolled oats
½ cup flaked almonds
⅓ cup desiccated coconut
½ cup sultanas
¾ cup almond meal
½ tsp baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C and line a baking sheet with baking paper.

Pop the dates in a bowl and pour over the boiling water and leave to soak for ten minutes. Once nice and soft, mash with a fork to form a paste before mixing in the egg, honey, coconut oil and vanilla.

When the wet ingredients are combined, fold in the oats, almonds, coconut, sultanas, almond meal, baking powder and cinnamon to form a thick batter.

Divide the batter into 8, rolls into balls and flatten on the lined baking sheet to form thick mounds. Transfer to the oven and bake for 20 minutes, or until golden.

Remove from the oven and leave to cool on the tray for 10 minutes, before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely. And then devour.


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Back, back, back rolls again

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars 1

Well well well, look who decided to wake up from their little Mexicoma and make a (what is sure to be triumphant) return to the world of food blogging, influencing and providing culinary comfort for reality TV cast-offs. Most of whom I have been a longtime friend of, and in the instance of the Global All Stars girlies, the inspiring reason they all started drag.

Ru included. But as you have no doubt come to know, I have digressed.

As you’ve probably surmised amongst the rambling, Ru pulled me out of my semi-retirement to celebrate the inaugural season of what is bound to be an iconic, battle for the ages – Global All Stars!

“Ben, hun, I need you there. I just need you. Get to Colombia,” Ru begged.

“I need you like Coco needs orange. Like Cheryl needs another week of doing mediocre. Like Tia needs an adequate dress. Like Alaska needs to borrow a sequined tank top. Like Spankie needs a chippie. You see what I’m doing, right? Just come, please. Now!”

Despite the fact I saw the cast list and questioned the cheek, the nerve, the gall, the audacity, and the gumption of Ru and Co. not including Tayce (and Bimini), apparently, she was all gamed out and as such, I hopped the next plane and prepared to look after my girls.

Will Soa continue to be le-gen-daire? Will Alyssa’s icon status finally earn her the win? Or, most importantly, will Kween bring the first global crown down under and once again prove that Season 2 was iconic? Well, you’ll just have to wait around to find out. 

And check back next week for all the deets from our double opening.

Now teleport us to Mars! Party.

📷: Paramount+.


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Sheeta Panaj Lemon Chicken

Main, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World 2, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World the dolls created an immersive experience for fans that promotes everything we love about the ever-expanding franchise, Drag Race World. While Scarlet was quickly able to identify this one as a branding challenge, and given she has a marketing degree, took control and absolutely slayed the game. Tia meanwhile tried desperately to keep Keta and Marina on task, in their group and while she was able to join Scarlet in the top, Keta was too much of a mess and landed in the bottom. With Jonbers, who was just flat as not a joke landed, while LGD and Hannah shone. In deliberations, Keta offered Tia some massages, while Jonbers worried that Scarlet was intimidated by her killer looks. Which may have been proven, as after Scarlet won the lip sync, she promptly booted Jonbers.

Backstage Scarlet was thrilled to finally grab her first solo win over the course of her three seasons, particularly since she felt sending a UK doll home was iconic. She felt her oats while cleaning the mirror, as Choriza felt that sending an icon like Jonbers home meant that the contest is really on. Keta thanked Scarlet for saving her, with Scarlet explaining her top performance in the ball is what tipped her over the edge, given she would like others to base decisions on her track record. Tia then tried to do a fake-out, pretending that she voted for Keta, before admitting that she too would have sent Jonbers home given she literally was just in the top two and has been slaying. Also, as she told us, eliminating one of the UK dolls means the target on her, Choriza and Gothy, is that much smaller with Jonbers gone.

The next day the mood was honestly full party mode as the dolls conga-ed into another week, while Marina just modelled, given she is an icon. The three victors showed off their badges as Hannah joked about being the queen of the safe club and as such, was grateful her target wasn’t so large. Ru then dropped by and quickly announced that this week the dolls would be playing the Snatch Game. Family Edition. Which obviously filled Tia with dread, given it is the challenge she went home. And as the winner of last week’s challenge, Scarlet had the power to select her family.

Everyone sat down to talk through the challenge, with Hannah, LGD and Keta proudly being past winners, while Choriza and Tia were terrified, given it was the challenge they went home on. Marina was happy with her OG performance, which is iconic to those in the Philippines, while Gothy and Scarlet were about to lose their Snatch Game virginity, and were equal parts nervous and excited. With that out of the way, Scarlet picked her family, going with Hannah, Choriza and Tia. Leaving the three ESL queens together, and Gothy, who is super shy, which feels shady. Which I love and hate. The families split up, with Scarlet announcing she will be making her debut as the Statue of Liberty, Tia was going with Anne Boleyn, while Choriza was going to be Henry VIII’s first wife, Catherine of Aragon.

Before we could learn who Hannah was doing, Ru dropped by to kiki, laughing at Tia finally jagging a win before she announced she will be Anne Boleyn, which delighted Ru. As Tia vowed to smash it out of the park. LGD was going with Carla Bruni, which made Ru nervous, as the double French accent was becoming hard to understand. Marina is following Melinda Verga’s footsteps with some Manny Pacquiao, while Ru was equally delighted by Choriza’s choice to play Catherine of Aragon. Which is good that she is Spanish, because her English accent isn’t great. Though better than Marina’s TBH, but damn they are charming. Keta will be bringing Fran Drescher, while Hannah is following in Jimbo’s footsteps as Shirley Temple. But make it Megan the doll. Side note: both of these repeats were filmed BEFORE the others aired, so these are not copycats, ok? Ru was delighted by Scarlet’s choice of Statue of Liberty and a little nervous for Gothy giving Kim Woodburn. And ugh, her nerves are going to get to her and I hate it.

We ventured to the Snatch Game: Family Edition set as Team Scarlet were led by Sinitta, while the rest were led by guest Jane McDonald. Team McDonald all stuck with their OG choices, with LGD cute, Keta started off strong, but lacked the jokes while Marina, like Melinda, was an icon as Manny. And poor Gothy just straight up bombed. Team Sinitta also stuck with their plans where Hannah was demented – though not as demented as Jimbo, obvi – Scarlet was iconic, Choriza was glorious and Tia stole the show holding her own head in her hands. Tragically the international girls all really struggled competing in their second language, though thankfully Marina did land a few killer blows. Scarlet was a powerhouse and Choriza filthy, though it was Tia and Hannah who really owned Snatch Game, hopefully leaving us with another two-time victor and some much needed rudemption.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls in varying moods as Hannah was feeling her oats, Scarlet was thrilled to do a good job on her first go, while Gothy knew she bombed and felt she did worse than she even thought possible. Keta too, knew she bombed, while LGD knew their family were far and away the shittest. Knowing they need to do a good job, the dolls split up to get ready for their runways to hopefully save them. Talk turned to the dating scenes in their respective countries, with LGD opening up about being a romantic, though looking forward to being a little looser too. Marina admitted that she is perennially single, given there is too much beauty. Hannah joked about importing her favourite d, her Geordie boyfriend. While Scarlet and Gothy just desperately wanted to have a loving drag husband. Gothy opened up about not knowing who she is and how can’t love someone else until she figures it out and ugh, Gothy is just such a sweet, tragic figure in the franchise. Isn’t she?

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined on the panel by knitting king Tom Daley as the dolls stomped the runway in Gone Cruisin’ looks. Keta gave patchwork pirate and ugh, she looked so stunning I mean, she even had an anchor nipple ring. Choriza was gorgeous in a blue and white latex mini with tentacles, LGD gave high fashion genuine sailor stripes in Gaultier, while Scarlet gave first class victim of the Titanic and Gothy gave baby Birth of Venus in the cutest way possible. Hannah gave Picnic at Hanging Rock on the ocean, but made it nightgown, Tia gave Ozempic Ursula – aka Karen the Kraken – and Marina closed the show with water heels and titties as a straight up sexy boat. And yeah, it was another slay.

Choriza and Marina were sent to safety before Keta was read for only just giving a laugh, and lacking the energy and fun of Fran. Which was tragically all there in her runway, which was excellence upon excellence. Tia meanwhile got wall to wall praise for being stupid and smart in equal measure as Anne Boleyn, and they also loved the runway, despite its simplicity. They wished LGD gave more and had fun, though obviously lived for her straight up perfect runway. Scarlet was praised for doing a solid job and looking perfect as Rose without her door from Titanic. Poor Gothy was read for just giving nothing in Snatch Game, and being too simple on the runway. While Hannah received wall to wall praise for being dumb and manic, and looking stunning.

Ultimately Tia and Hannah were deemed the top two of the week, and Scarlet and LGD were sent to safety leaving Keta Minaj and Gothy Kendoll up for elimination. Backstage Hannah and Tia were feeling their oats, while Choriza was gutted to be the new queen of the safe club. Tia opened up about how weird it is to be winning challenges, while Hannah was sad to elect a new president for her club in Choriza. Everyone spoke about how stunning LGD’s runway is, though they laughed about her choice of pizza boxer briefs underneath. Hannah checked in with Gothy whole was weeping quiet tears, while Keta was more upbeat about her bomb. Scarlet clocked Gothy for deciding she will be bad and as such, being bad in all the challenges.

Hannah caught up with Gothy to let her know how much she loves her, with Gothy talking about how difficult the contest is and how it keeps her stuck in her head. Hannah tried to get the fight from her, asking what Gothy needs to succeed. Though she seemed too broken to muster a tangible answer. Tia told Keta how strong she knows she is, though also noted that she has now been in the bottom twice in a row. They traded places with Keta telling Hannah that while she isn’t funny, she has a fire to be here and is ready to fight. Which both delighted and made Hannah scared that she could beat her in the end. Gothy spoke to Tia about how much the competition means to her, though worried about how she will be able to apply the judges feedback. With Tia straight up asking if she can cut it, or whether she should eliminate her as Keta is ready to fight each and every episode.

After Tia and Hannah selected their lipsticks, they ventured back to the mainstage as Ru pulled out the wireless and popped on Alcazar’s Crying at the Discotheque. And damn, the dolls turned a show. Though like Jimbo before her, Hannah tragically failed by not lip syncing as Shirley Temple. So while she hit every lyric and gave sex, Tia gave camp and emotion in equal measure, which was all it took to take out victory and claim her first badge. And then promptly saved her UK sister and showed Keta the door.

As Keta arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that while she was robbed, it still remains the best way to go if you’re going to place in the middle of the pack. Which she eventually agreed was true. I mean, look what happened to Pangina and Jimbo? Universally beloved and everyone is gagging for more, while Jujubee stayed consistent and made it to the end, but with a whimper and now we can’t have her back every year or so. Which honestly, is a travesty. I went on this exact rant with Keta and while she got bored in the middle, I brought it back to her situation and how bright her future may be. Which cheered her up as much as eating a big ol’ Sheeta Panaj Lemon Chicken.

This is the perfect mid-week meal, for when you need something warm and comforting, but are also close to tears as the weight of work and life gets to you. What, just me? Oh well, try it on a Wednesday night and you will understand.

Enjoy!

Sheeta Panaj Lemon Chicken
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1kg chicken breasts, diced
¼ cup extra virgin olive oil
8 cloves garlic, minced
1 tbsp smoked paprika
2 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp chilli flakes
1 tsp dried oregano
¼ tsp cinnamon
¼ tsp ground coriander seeds
kosher salt and black pepper
2 sweet potatoes, cut into thick chips
200g Jaida Essence Halloumi, sliced
1 lemon, quartered
1 cucumber, sliced
1 batch Aileen Choddess Dressing
1 cup Sierra Dawn-Hummus
4 Pita Andre Breads

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C. 

In a bowl, toss together the chicken with half the oil, the garlic, paprika, cumin, chilli, oregano, cinnamon, coriander, and a pinch of salt. 

While that does a quick little marinade, toss the sweet potato in the remaining oil with a good whack of salt and pepper. Spread on a lined baking sheet and pop in the oven for 15 minutes. Remove from the oven, flip and push to one end, adding the chicken, halloumi and lemon. Return to the oven to bake for a further 20 minutes, or until the chicken is golden and the chips crispy.

To serve, line a bowl with the Aileen Choddess Dressing, divide the chicken, chips and halloumi, dollop over the hummus, sprinkle with cucumber coins and squeeze over the caramelised lemon. Then devour, greedily, with a pita.


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Salted Peanut Caramel Jonbars Blonde

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World 2, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World the dolls were tasked with throwing a little Happy Endings Ball. By Michelle, no less, given Ru was busy recovering from the flu, or something. I am not a doctor. In any event, the first two categories were generally slays across the board. However the third and final category required them to pull together a look from scratch, and that is where things went a little wild. While LGD and Keta dominated and created beautiful gowns, Hannah had to rely on charm to carry her dress through, while Choriza just chose a hideous fabric and Arantxa was basic. Ultimately a recovered Ru decreed that LGD dominated the lip sync, and despite concerns about a UK alliance, opted to be fair and send home the iconic Arantxa. Breaking all of our hearts in the process.

Backstage LGD was thrilled to have her first badge, though gutted to have been the one to send sweet Arantxa home. Choriza, meanwhile, was heartbroken that her best friend’s run was cut so short, though grateful that the world would get to know who she is. Whether they could pronounce her name or not. Everyone congratulated LGD on her win, with her explaining that she didn’t save Arantxa as she felt she did worse in the challenge and that is how she is playing. While Tia was concerned Choriza rallying against her friend means they need to watch out for her. Talk turned to who Keta voted for, with her revealing she had Choriza’s lipstick, given without Arantxa, she wouldn’t have even had an outfit. Though everyone just assumed she was voting because she was more of a threat. Which Scarlet argued is how they should all be playing. Which obviously made everyone nervous.

The next day Gothy was thrilled to be continuing to break records by surviving two eliminations. After briefly admiring LGD’s new hardware, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be designing immersive experience attractions in Drag Race World, and then starring in a commercial to sell it to us in teams of three. As the tops and bottoms of last week, LGD, Keta and Choriza were deemed team captains, with LGD selecting Hannah and Jonbers, Keta opting for Tia and Marina, while Choriza selected Scarlet and was left with poor old, record-breaking Gothy. 

After Ru departed they split up into their teams to come up with concepts. Team Choriza got to it after she and Scarlet gave Gothy a pep talk about going from being the last pick to winning the challenge, which both of them managed on their OG seasons. Choriza had bigger fish to fry, though, as the green screen in UK Season 3 was so bad it resulted in nobody winning the challenge, which is yet another Drag Race record. Scarlet meanwhile took control, ideating and executing like an advertising icon, thrilled to finally get a chance to put her advertising degree to good use. Over at Team Keta, they were hoping to highlight their different countries as Tia tried to get them to potentially do the challenge instead. Team LGD learned about Hannah’s slutty ways, as she suggested Hannah’s Cove as an option, given that was what they called the back-room at the clubs. Jonbers was leaning into Ireland, while LGD was filling her attraction with her entourage, giving people the chance to meet someone that has met her. Which is iconic.

Ru made her return to kiki, with Team Keta talking through their two-thirds travel ad, complete with trauma from Tia to bring it back to the franchise. With Tia putting her UN experience to good use, it seems. Team Choriza, meanwhile, were completely on track, as they clocked this challenge as being all about branding, as Scarlet wisely found out how Ru sees her and opted to lean all the way into that. And is she the winner and the drama? Team LGD meanwhile had Ru giggling from start to finish, thanks in no small part to Hannah talking about feeling comfortable in the UK because you are what you eat. And her husband is British. Begging the question, did I love her in Down Under or is she just killing it this season? The teams regrouped to go through the feedback and figure out how to enhance their concepts. While LGD and Choriza’s gangs were thriving, Team Keta began to spiral, as Tia desperately tried to pull them together and get them to deliver on the task.

Team Choriza were first up to film with Michelle as Scarlet got it all done in one shot, slaying the game and feeling her oats. Gothy too was loving herself sick, giving the Brit Crew a bukkake party, despite Michelle cautioning they don’t need another cum joke in the franchise. While Choriza was just kiking with the girls. Team Keta went with an airline theme, with Tia terrified about her fellow dolls. And while Marina got a few chuckles, Keta was a bit of a mess. And by a bit, a lot. Thankfully, Tia was a star, nailing every moment and being an all around delight. Team LGD meanwhile brought a little chaos as LGD struggled with her lines, which is fair, given English is her second language. Plus, the scenes were weird and I love them. Given she ran over, Hannah powered through on the fly leaving Jonbers a little more time for her scenes, which are either terrible, or the fake out. But either way, she wasn’t happy with LGD.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to beat their mugs as Hannah ockered it up as she told Tia about having to cram in her time filming. LGD told the dolls that she really struggled and knows she took up a lot of time, which clearly bothered Jonbers, who wished she had way more. Keta whispered to Marina that she thinks they did well, with Marina just blindly hoping, given she hasn’t had those sort of immersive experiences, given the queer community isn’t supported or even protected in the Philippines. LGD opened up about being a victim of a hate crime in Nice and given the police did nothing about it, she opted to move to a bigger city, Paris, for safety. Because even when the law is with us, getting justice is really hard. Which feels that little bit more poignant to hear after the tragic murders in Sydney. Leading to Jonbers reminding the world at large that it is easier to love than it is to hate, as Hannah begged them all to never get complacent.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined on the panel by the iconic Kim Petras as the dolls stomped the Ruveal Yourself runway. Which LGD owned from the first moment, going from Miss France to Miss Piss. Choriza went from Marge Simpson to slutty Marge Simpson, complete with blue bush. Tia went from Ru to Ru to Ru and hot damn, she looked good. Marina gave a dramatic erupting volcano before revealing a lava gown and yes, it was another slay. Keta went from pantsuit to pantsuit, to a burning purple witch, Hannah gave pope to showgirl and yeah, it was fun, before Jonbers gave the full rainbow to pot of gold journey. Scarlet went from white coat to orange shimmering gown before Gothy slayed in a quilted pink, mod mini, before stripping down to show off the twins. Literally.

When it came to the Drag World commercials, Team Keta’s was an absolute mess, well, Keta, anyway. As Marina and Tia arrived to serve the task and had the judges giggling, despite the Keta confusion. Team LGD’s was far more cohesive, as the dolls played off each other, had a narrative and TBH, were delightful. Hannah in particular, who was demented, doing the most with the absolute lack of time she had to film. While Jonbers closed the ad with a fizzle, sadly. They saved the best for last, however, as Team Choriza were lucky to have Scarlet’s expertise, as they gave fun, leant into the show and to quote Law Roach, did, what needed, to be done. Each and every one of them.

Marina, Hannah and Choriza were sent to safety at the back of the stage before the judges praised everything Tia did this week. Particularly given she was the star of her ad, Alan finally gets her and she leans into her brand at all times. Keta on the other hand was praised for her runway, though read for being a mess in the challenge, despite the fact she lived for her own ideas. LGD was read for being too awkward in the challenge, which I would argue was the point, proving she is the best person on the cast. Thankfully, they also lived for her pissing pants reveal runway. Jonbers was read for being too confusing in the experience and for not having any jokes, though they lived for the runway. Scarlet received wall-to-wall praise for the immersive experience and for dragging her team through, despite them wishing the reveal was more of a reveal, though they agreed it was stunning. While Gothy finally got her roses for zigging when they expected her to zag in the experience, and for giving a fun look and presentation. Which again, they loved.

Tia and Scarlet were named the top two of the week before Gothy and LGD were sent to safety, leaving Keta and Jonbers up for elimination. Backstage the dolls grabbed their drinks and toasted Tia and Scarlet on their success, as they worried about having to send someone home. Keta was obviously gutted, while Jonbers continued to complain about not having enough time to shoot. LGD hilariously just told her that her material wasn’t great. Before it exploded, the tops took a bottom each, as Keta praised Scarlet for being so stunning and lovely, joking that villains should stick together. While Scarlet worried she should send home the bigger threat, which would be Keta. Jonbers, meanwhile, was crying as she asked Tia to save her because she desperately wants it. As Tia mentioned she just wants to compete against the best, whoever that is. The safe girls talked through what they would do, with everyone saying it is Keta’s time, except for LGD, given they were in a team.

The bottoms switched places as Keta charmed Tia, despite her gut telling her that she would always save Jonbers. Tia told us that while Keta was a dud leader, she did brand herself, which was the task, so to her, she wasn’t the worst. Scarlet meanwhile praised Jonbers for being a fashion queen and looking gorgeous, though it also sounded like she was praising her as a consolation prize. Tia and Scarlet selected their lipsticks and made their way back to the mainstage to do battle. To Kim Petras’ own, Future Starts Now. Both the dolls gave a very classic Drag Race lip sync performance, though it was clear Scarlet had a fire in her, so that by the time she air-kicked Tia, it was only fair she took out the win. Before promptly sending Jonbers out the door and back to Northern Ireland.

As Jonbers sadly arrived backstage, I probably shouldn’t have screamed out “JB in the house ya’ll” like I was at a football game. But I did. And after apologising for a couple of hours, Jonbers eventually forgave me and we were able to toast a fun little run. While she may have only lasted a few episodes, I assured her she still showed growth and honestly, going out a little robbed is still better than lasting long enough to become the villain. Which, TBH, happens to the best of us. Thankfully, that was all it took to get our friendship back on track and allow us to have a craic. Whilst also smashing a delicious batch of Salted Peanut Caramel Jonbars Blonde.

Part caramel slice, part snickers, this glorious little treat is oh, so decadent. Viciously sweet with a glorious earthy crunch of the salty peanuts, it is the perfect snack to dull any and all pain. Like going from the Top Four to the third out.

Enjoy!

Salted Peanut Caramel Jonbars Blonde
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
1 cup flour
1 cup muscovado sugar
½ cup desiccated coconut
185g butter, melted
395g sweetened condensed milk
¼ cup golden syrup
2 tbsp crunchy peanut butter
100g unsalted butter
1 cup salted roasted peanuts

Method
Preheat the oven to 180°C, and line a 3cm deep slice pan.

Pop the flour, half the muscovado sugar and coconut in a bowl and stir in 125g of melted butter, until well combined. Transfer the mixture into the pan, press into the pan to form and base and pop in the oven to bake for 15 minutes.

While that bakes, combine the remaining melted butter in a pan with the condensed milk, half the golden syrup and the peanut butter. Cook, stirring, over medium heat for 8 minutes, or until golden. Pour over the base when it is cooked, return to the oven and bake for a further 10 minutes. Remove from the oven and leave to rest.

Finally, while the filling sets, place the remaining sugar, golden syrup and unsalted butter in a pan over medium heat. Cook, stirring, for 5 minutes, or until the sugar has dissolved and it has started to thicken. Remove from the heat, stir in peanuts and pour over the base. Return to the oven and back for another 10 minutes, or until golden and cooked.

Remove from the oven and allow to cool completely before slicing. And then devouring, like an icon.


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Arantxa Castilla-La Mash & Fries

RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World 2, Side, Snack, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World 11 queens from across the globe descended on the UK, ready to prove themselves to be the fairest of them all. Or, you know, the second best of the top four, but I digress. Immediately Ru threw down the gauntlet, making them star in a little Queens’ Variety Show. I assume to mark Chuckie’s coronation, but again, I’ve digressed. When it came to the performances, Mayhem found herself hilarious and forgot the rest, Marina was an ICON, Gothy lacked power as she literally ate fire while Le Grand Dame was stupid in the best way. When Gothy and Mayhem landed in the bottom, it was up to Marina and LGD to choose who to send home before Marina won the ultimate power. And promptly sent Mayhem straight back to Riverside, ending the run of all US dolls making it to the end of Vs the World seasons.

Backstage Tia was shocked that Mayhem was gone, despite the fact she clearly bombed the talent show. Funny and iconic, but a total bomb. After the dolls congratulated Marina, she explained that she sent home the legend because she just wants to give Gothy the chance to actually shine, given they have all had the full experience. Oh and then she made a joke about how poor taste it was to wipe off the message, given she is a Filipina cleaning a mirror in the UK. Again, she is an icon. Gothy meanwhile was on cloud nine to have made it to the second episode and ugh, her joy truly is super cute. Hannah, being Australian, asked LGD to share who she had voted for, with her agreeing she voted to get rid of Mayhem as she wants the world to get the chance to fall in love with Mayhem. Like Arantxa, who spoke about how emotional she is to be among this cast, as LGD reminded her it may be her hormones.

Oh and then the UK dolls caught up to strategise, with Hannah loudly and hilariously pointing out the alliance was meeting. As the holiday makers pointed out they outnumber the UK girlies, warning that they best be careful.

The next day Marina unveiled her gold badge and while LGD was a little jealous, she assured us she will be the next to jag one, so wasn’t overly bothered. Scarlet pointed out that given four UK girls are around, they should be nervous about being the targets. Though Choriza pointed out that the first elimination actually calmed her, given it is clear they are playing fairly. Tia meanwhile was too happy about having walked the runway in front of Ru in a nice outfit for the first time to care. Which, lol, is iconic. Michelle then dropped by to put the girls through their paces in an itty bitty quiz mini challenge with the most glorious of Brit Crew members. Everyone decreed Marina the Fairest in the Land, Shadiest was named as Hannah – doing Down Under proud, obvi –  Mightiest (aka Biggest Competition) was also named Marina while Neediest was Arantxa, aka most in Need of some new Drag. Which pissed off Jonbers, given she got three votes, which she obviously felt wasn’t fair.

But over to the maxi challenge, which Michelle announced was the ball. And not just any ball, but The Happy Endings Ball. First category they would walk in their Lady Prince Charming looks, in category two they would serve She-vil Queen, while finally, they would walk in Drags to Riches Eleganza, which they would make using scraps of fabric left behind by the Brit Crew. Since the dolls felt Arantxa was needy, she got an extra 10 seconds to grab at it before the rest of the dolls joined the fray. And as is tradition, create absolute chaos. Choriza was busy hoarding literally everything, leaving Tia was next to nothing. Which obviously made her nervous, given sewing challenges are really not her jam. 

Hannah pulled together a bunch of knitted mice, hoping they would help her through, given she is a hot glue gun queen. She then caught up with Jonbers, who eventually admitted she was pressed, so put it to the crowd. WIth Marina straight up admitting to it, before Gothy eventually zoned-in and claimed the second one while the third person stayed silent. Until they all started listing their votes, forcing Choriza to admit it was her. With a laugh. Everyone got busy working away and bartering fabrics, as LGD opened up about coming so close to winning the ball in her first season – thanks Paloma – that she is looking for redemption. She caught up with Tia, flirting hard to try and get fabric, while Tia was just wanting her to get it.

Michelle interrupted before it became BBC after dark, with Marina sharing she would make a shimmering mermaid gown and while it is a big task, she is confident in herself. And hot glue. While Scarlet was going classic Cinderella. Hannah was excited to go with something shimmering and neon, while Keta was going dark and moody, Gothy was looking forward to putting her fashion background to use to serve pastels, LGD was the polar opposite, going with futuristic shimmering gold and ugh, I love her. Arantxa meanwhile was looking forward to serving Wednesday Addams at the prom realness, opening up about how her style is missing because she never got the chance to trial as a teen girl, in honour of the woman she has always been, given she missed out on those milestones after transitioning as an adult. Tia meanwhile was going full glamour in cherry red velvet, Choriza was looking forward to another owl shitting in her eye and Jonbers was vibing on an 80s Lacroix inspired number.

Michelle then asked if the UK dolls will be sticking together, with Jonbers straight up saying they will. Sadly for her, in front of everyone. After Michelle left, Tia opened up about her design being dedicated to Cherry Valentine, given she knows that if she was still here, she would be an All Star by now. And ugh, I just want to hug her and Cherry, as the entire situation is tragic. But Tia slaying the ball in her honour is all I care about now.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone splitting up to put the finishing touches on their looks. Except for Hannah, who felt she was done. I assume emotionally, as the gown is straight up trash, so hopefully her charm sells it. Arantxa’s look was held together with safety pins and a prayer. Scarlet obviously put being a third timer to good use, giving the dolls a pep talk to sell the garment, if nothing else. Even if their looks are mediocre.

Ru recovered enough to appear on the panel alongside Michelle, Graham and Adwoa Aboah as the dolls opened The Happy Endings Ball in their Lady Prince Charming looks. Hannah was camp as hell, giving Better Midler as Prince Charming in Shrek 2, Jonbers was a glorious plaid prancer while Arantxa was a cute Bowie. Tia gave glam Robin Hood realness, LGD was stunning in a high fashion blue suit giving the silliest faces and sound effects as she ran the railroads in Gaultier, Scarlet was a half-stripped warrior in white and Keta was a glorious knight. Gothy served a stunning twink in a little floral number, Marina was perfect as an underwater prince before Choriza gave a moody matador Dali. And yeah, it was a slay.

On the She-Vil Queens runway, Hannah cackled away in a classic black and navy gown serving nothing but drama. Jonbers was glorious in a slutty dragon look, Arantxa gave Mean Girls devil, Tia’s gown dedicated to Cherry’s promo look was perfect, emotional and ugh, she should really be proud of herself. LGD then came out as an alien queen, obviously serving wacky noises, Scarlet was green, moody and powerful, before Keta literally rode the dragon all over the runway and ugh, it was funny. And I love it. Gothy was monochromatic and glam as Daphne Guiness, Marina served Dugong realness and lets just say, it was so weird and I love it. While Choriza was smoking and purple, as the upcycled owl from Season 3. Obscuring all the views in the process.

Closing it out with their Drags to Riches Eleganza, Hannah was a total mess, though TBH, not as bad as I was expecting. Jonbers looked good in a shimmering ruffled number, Arantxa was a cute goth teen, Tia gave glamour in a gown, which honestly is above adequate and LGD was a straight up golden goddess and just give her the win now, please! Scarlet revealed her gorgeous Cinderella gown, complete with the Season 1 filter reveal, Keta was a gorgeous dame, kinda giving Narcissa Malfoy. Gothy was puffy pink perfection and damn, this is the rudemption she was looking for, and I love it. Marina was beautiful in her gown which honestly looks better made then her first look before Chroiza closed the show as the ugly step sisters, complete with dead owl in a cage.

Jonbers, Tia, Scarlet and Gothy were sent to safety at the back of the stage before the judges praised Hannah for her charm and personality, though read the final look for being ugly. Despite feeling it was a little fun. Arantxa was essentially read for not giving enough when it came to the details, though she was proud to have a chance to bully for once and ugh, I love her. LGD received wall to wall praise, obviously, because she is perfection. Keta too was absolutely beloved for giving glamour, polish and jokes, finally letting the judges see her personality. Marina once again was beloved, despite the judges feeling like the first look didn’t exactly make sense for the category. And they had no idea who Dugong was. Choriza meanwhile was praised for having all the ideas, though read for a bunch of fit issues. Particularly the last one, which was just too basic.

Ultimately Le Grand Dame and Keta Minaj were named the top two of the week, Marina and Hannah were safe, leaving Arantxa and Choriza up for elimination. Backstage the queens congratulated the top two, with Keta joking it just feels correct. Even though it is simply a fact. Keta praised all the girls for doing a good job, before Choriza and Arantxa spoke about how much it sucks to be in the bottom with their bestie. Keta caught up with Arantxa, thanking her for giving her the pattern for her dress. Arantxa spoke about how excited she is to represent the trans community, not wanting it to end. Meanwhile Choriza opened up to LGD about how she is friends with Arantxa, though knows she did better than her sister. LGD meanwhile only cared that if a UK queen lands in the bottom and deserves to go, Choriza would send the right girl home. 

The safe girls were kikiing, with Scarlet hoping Choriza goes given she is more competition. Once again confirming she is the drama. Arantxa really drove home the potential UK alliance to LGD, while reiterating how close they have gotten. Choriza took her no alliance message to Keta, reiterating she has nothing to worry about. While neither doll really could tell where Keta stands, given she has an epic poker face. Or doesn’t care.

After selecting their lipsticks, Keta and Le Grand Dame took their places on the stage. As Cascada’s Everytime We Touch kicked off, it was clear LGD was desperate to jag her first win, hitting every letter, giving all the energy, drama and camp and ugh, again, I love her. How is someone that perfect also so damn stupid and weird?! While Keta was a killer lip syncer, just as she promised, Ru loves to laugh and as such, LGD rightly took out victory. And then promptly sent sweet Arantxa home. After sobbing in Choriza’s arms, that is.

She then followed the sound of my sobs backstage before I jumped into her arms. Arantxa held me for the hours it took for me to calm down, before I was finally able to spit out how proud of her I was. Despite being the second boot and robbing us of a season full of joy, Arantxa’s two episodes showed how much of a delight she is, and hopefully, earned her a spot on a future All Stars season as you know that glow up is going to be epic. And until then, we have Arantxa Castilla-La Mash & Fries.

Credit to this delight goes to Antoni Porowski, who was brave enough to think, there isn’t enough potato if you have mash or chips, so why not combine them! And ugh, it is perfection. Particularly with a hearty kick of sour cream and chives.

Enjoy!

Arantxa Castilla-La Mash & Fries
Serves: 2 dear friends slash icons.

Ingredients
1 batch Jud Beerza Battered Fries
500g russet potatoes, peeled and cut into 2cm chunks
3 tbsp unsalted butter
120g sour cream
120ml milk
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
2 tbsp chives, finely sliced

Method
Prep the fries as per Jud’s recipe.

While those are underway, pot the potatoes in a large pot of salted water and bring to the boil over high heat. Once rollicking, reduce slightly and boil for 10-15 minutes, or until tender. Drain and return to the pan, cover with the lid and place over the turned-off hob to steam for a minute.

Add the butter to the pan with a good whack of salt and pepper, and mash until smooth. Stir in the sour cream and milk, and return to a low heat to cook through, adjusting the seasoning as required.

To serve, dish the mash into a bowl, top with fries and a sprinkle of chives. And then, devour.


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Mayham & Cheese Pithivller

Breakfast, Main, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World 9 queens from around the globe booked their tickets to the UK for the first franchise-crossing battle. Kinda like the Avengers for the gays or Ultimate Girls Trip for performers. And let’s just say, it started with a bang as Jimbo, Pangina and Janey demolished the first half of the season and put their little franchises on the map. Tragically, however, they went back-to-back-to-back, leaving four of the five Ru girls in the cast to make it to the finale in the form of Juju, Baga, Blu and Mo Heart. And despite Mo being Mo and Blu being Blu, the little doll that could from Northern Ireland won the lip sync for the crown and found herself the inaugural Queen of the Mothertucking World.

Not to be confused with the Queen of the Motherpucking World.

First to make their triumphant return this go around is the icon of UK Season 2, Tia Kofi, who was puzzled by being invited back despite the fact she is a killer confessionalist. She was joined by Down Under’s own Hannah Conda and yeah, she is ready to have some fun this year and I look forward to her kicking it in the dick once more. Arantxa rang in her own arrival from Spain, literally, giving charm, fun and yes, I am here for everything about her. Arantxa quickly opened up about coming out as trans since her OG season before a very hard pivot into talking about the fact she is not actually sure whether Ru exists. Which is relatable. Mayhem Miller was next to arrive, questioning why she opted to come back, even though we know she just wants to bring the party.

Next up, Choriza bought the sausage to represent the UK with a little of her heart left in Spain. Oh and she is vibing for her own glow up and is ready to thrive, giving Nadja from What We Do In The Shadows energy. La Grande Dame gave the most iconic entry of all time, screaming France. And yeah, Ru is going to love her because she is stupid. While also being so damn gorgeous. Marina Summers came in representing the Philippines and given she looks like that, and is ready to chop the colonizers, I am here for everything about her. JB is once again in the house and is still a delusional delight, so werk queen. They were joined by Holland’s own Keta Minaj and hot damn, I forgot how hot she was. Choke me daddy, etc. Scarlet Envy arrived dripping in red, ready to act up a storm, turn tricks and grab a crown. All while being the drama. And then rounding out the cast was the UK’s very own Porkchop, Gothy Kendoll – roar – looking more expensive than 50P.

As the dolls kikied, a surprise 12th queen was unveiled as Raven stomped the runway. Though after she realised Jujubee was missing, she stepped aside and instead introduced RuPaul before going back to her home backstage. For the non Ru girls, they were overwhelmed to finally get in front of the mother of the franchise, as she assured them it would be a fair playing field for all. Despite how last season made it look. After recapping the rules – top two lip sync for the win and eliminate one of the bottom queens – she then gagged them by announcing that for the first time in UK herstory, the winner would bag herself 50,000 pounds. She then added that for their first maxi challenge, they would be performing in the Queens’ Variety Show before disappearing to hang with Raven and Michelle.

The dolls finally made it to the Werk Room where Hannah was gagged by the sheer size of it – obviously – before they grabbed their bags, found a station and began de-dragging. Hannah caught up with Marina, La Grande Dame, Keta and Jonbers, asking if the money changed the way they were planning to play the game. On the other side of the room, Team USA were busy gossiping, with Mayhem not sure about anyone’s name, as Scarlet marvelled at how good Hannah looked. Though admitted everyone looked good. Well, almost everyone, as she looked Mayhem up and down.  Hannah and La Grande Dame were quickly became friends, while Arantxa, Marina and Keta were bonding over being the sole girls of their franchises and hoping to find a way to have fun and give themselves. Team UK quickly locked in an alliance before they realised they only had one challenge win between them. Which is ironic. Even more so, since they found it so funny. Assuming it proves that personality clearly took them far.

Which Gothy giggled at, given she is literally the Porkchop of UK.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone buzzing as they split up to get prepared for the talent show. With Tia continuing to be the most relatable, hoping it isn’t just 11 lip syncs, as that is always boring. Keta and Marina, meanwhile, were looking forward to representing their countries and putting Filipino and Dutch drag on the map. Hannah was excited to do her first talent show, while Mayhem was just hoping to not forget the lyrics to her performance like she did during her first one. She opened up to Hannah about how she has had to pivot her drag style due to long COVID, so the dolls may be surprised by her number. While Hannah assured her she is confident she will kick it in the dick, given she is an icon who essentially runs L.A. That being said, she may be an icon, but the colloquialisms of our fair country seem to have confused her, as she wondered how a kick to the dick could possibly be a good thing. Jonbers and Scarlett meanwhile admitted they were planning to give Ru all the comedy, knowing that is key to making it far.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by honorary gay icon Richard E. Grant as Choriza opened the Queens’ Variety Show with all the energy as she gave a very Spanish lip sync to her original song. Which was kinda like Adriana from Real Housewives of Miami, but gayer and more fun. Scarlet meanwhile did a little boudoir song and dance about dishing out bad advice and lies, which was so fun and cute. La Grande Dame’s talent was hard to describe, as she gave weird noises and beats, bad dancing and then a runway and yeah, it was stunning. Like, so demented and so stunning. Gothy meanwhile lip synced to an original song before offering a literal glow up as she danced with and ate fire. Shocking even herself in the process. Marina then brought down the house with a stunning lip sync to her own song. She hit every line, she vogued, she twirled ribbons and the song was a legitimate bop. So yeah, just hand her the win, ok?

Keta gave a demented Alice in Wonderland performance which was trippy perfection before lip syncing, flipping and giving reveal after reveal. And even gymnastics. And it was special, k? Mayhem then gave the polar opposite, giving a comedic guided meditation. That is until she started giggling at the second joke and straight up forgot the rest of her lines. Hannah then gave legit talent, tickling the ivories and singing live and hot damn, when did she become charming? Oh, wait, the piano was a fake out. Though the song and singing were great, so well done. Jonbers then gave a song about fashion, like Milk’s talent, if Milk was funny. Arantxa meanwhile played into the fact nobody can say her name with a dream state orgasm while lying on the pit crew as she called everyone idiots. And yeah, I love it. Tia then sang live too and honestly, it was a bop. I mean, aside from Mayhem, was this just good across the board?

On the Queen and Country runway, Scarlet did an ode to Drop Dead Gorgeous with the Mount Ru-shmore headpiece and yeah, give her a win for that alone, TBH. Keta was perfect as a milk maid who can milk me, right now, please. She then revealed an Indonesian witch and yeah, Holland is always going to give us everything. Jonbers meanwhile served slutty leprechaun, complete with a clover headpiece, Arantxa was a delightfully pink flamenco doll that you sit on the TV, apparently. Tia meanwhile served her first stunning look as she rocked a glamorous gown combining her Nigerian and UK roots.

Marina was perfection in a glamorous rice farmer inspired look, Choriza served Ru Britannia as a knight and Mayhem gave Lady Liberty, serving all the curves. Gothy was then adorable as she served King’s Guard, while also clearly being in awe of the fact she was invited back for a second go. La Grande Dame was perfection in a gown of a frog killed by the Eiffel Tour. Before Hannah gave a Priscilla inspired frill-neck lizard, which showcased first nations artists and called for a treaty. Once again reminding us she has learnt and grown from her past mistakes.

Keta, Jonbers, Arantxa, Tia and Hannah were deemed safe and sent to the back of the stage before the judges read Scarlet for not giving enough in the performance, given the idea was solid. Though they loved the look. Marina received wall to wall praise for literally everything she served; killer looks, high energy performance perfection and even some casual education about how rice grows for Alan. Choriza’s energy was praised for opening the show so strongly and they loved that she gave such a camp, gorgeous look. Mayhem, obviously, was read for flubbing literally all the lines in her talent show, though they lived for her runway. Gothy meanwhile was praised for such a strong glow up, though they felt she still wasn’t confident enough. Particularly not to make fire dancing work. Though they lived for her look. While La Grande Dame received wall to wall praise for being so stupid and so polished and oh so perfect. And that isn’t even taking into account how strong her runway was.

Obviously Marina and La Grande Dame were announced as the top two of the week before Choriza and Scarlet were sent to safety, leaving Mayhem and Gothy up for elimination. As the dolls ventured backstage to untuck, they grabbed their drinks and toasted Marina and Dame for landing on the top. Or kicking it in the dick, if you will. Scarlet meanwhile checked in on Mayhem, who had a good attitude about being in the bottom, realising that laughing at herself straight up cost her. Gothy on the other hand was worried about being in the bottom in the first episode two seasons in a row, before the winner’s asked for one on one time with their bottoms.

Marina caught up with Mayhem, who quickly pointed out her performance wasn’t bad, she just made mistakes. Which I guess is the only argument she really could make, so werk. When Marina didn’t seem open to saving her, however, Mayhem floated the idea of an alliance and vowed to help her make it to the end. Grande Dame meanwhile was checking how Gothy was feeling, with her disappointment for the repeat bottom, as La Grand Dame admitted she actually enjoyed her performance. Despite losing an eyelash to the flame. She then went for the emotion, pointing out that Mayhem has so much experience and should know better, while this is her second episode ever of Drag Race. The safe girls questioned how the top girls were planning to play it, as Mayhem took her alliance proposition over to La Grande Dame and honestly, I feel like neither of the queens are taking it seriously. Gothy meanwhile continued to lean into her heart with Marina, reiterating she knows she needs to give the judges more of herself, but she assured her that she will be able to overcome the nerves and shine.

Marina and La Grande Dame grabbed their lipsticks and headed out the mainstage before doing battle to Dreamer by Livin’ Joy. And as you can imagine, both the dolls absolutely devoured. La Grande Dame served humour and used every inch of her 7 feet to her advantage while Marina was all energy, as she hit every moment of every letter. And as such, Marina rightly took out victory before Mayhem and Gothy took their places on stage and Marina announced that Mayhem would be the Gothy Kendoll of the season. Sparing our sweet underdog and allowing her another chance to shine.

When she arrived backstage, Mayhem was in great spirits, despite her loss, knowing that she straight up lost because she found herself to be too damn funny. Which in itself, is too damn funny. I pulled her in for a massive hug and thanked her for coming back for another iconic run. As they may keep getting shorter, but she always manages to leave a mark with whatever time she has. Obviously Mayhem always manages to bring the party, no matter what the situation, she I toasted her icon status and sent her on her way with a deliciously hot Mayham & Cheese Pithivller.

Don’t get your hopes up! Despite the name, this isn’t exactly a fancy dish. Essentially just a textured little pie, this pastry melts in your mouth as the ham and cheese serve perfect French brunch. Second only to La Grand Dame, obvi.

Enjoy!

Mayham & Cheese Pithivller
Serves: 2-4.

Ingredients
25g butter
25g flour
1 cup milk
salt and pepper, to taste
⅛ tsp nutmeg, finely grated
200g gruyere cheese, grated
2 sheets puff pastry
12 slices ham
1 egg, whisked

Method
Melt the butter in a pan over low heat and once it is starting to foam, whisk in the flour and cook for a couple of minutes, or until it is cohesive and cooked off. Remove from the heat and whisk in the milk. Return to the heat, crank up to medium and cook, stirring, until it starts to thicken. Season to taste with salt and pepper, and add a pinch of nutmeg. Fold through half the cheese and stir until melted. Decant into a lined shallow baking dish, cover directly with skin and pop in the fridge to chill.

Preheat the oven to 180C.

Cut the puff pastry into a 20 and a 21 centimetre circle. Pop the smaller one on a lined baking tray. Layer the base with a third of the ham, leaving a 2cm border around the edge. Top with a layer of chilled bechamel, then a third of the cheese. Repeat the process until you’re out of ham and cheese. Brush the edges with the egg and top with the second disc of pastry, pressing the edges of each disc of pastry together to seal. Trim excess pastry from the edges.

Using a knife, gently scallop for creative flair before brushing with egg wash and popping in the oven to bake for 30 minutes, or until golden. Then carve and devour.


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Club Tickety Boo International

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World 2, TV, TV Recap

Like Ru, I only recently became aware of the magical phrase tickety boo, and while I am still not exactly sure what it means, I am glad it is part of my lexicon (I want to say it is about tickets, but if it is a slur, please let me know as that is not what I want).

Once again the Beeb is bringing a little joy back to the globe, as they invite queens from across Europe, the US and one of their colonies to the UK. No doubt looking to bring a little dignity back to the monarchy.

On that note, I hope Chuck recovers quickly and that he Guerdyfys cancer, but come on, Andrew is not only an albatross around his neck but also an embarrassment. But I’ve digressed.

While the first UK vs the World kinda ended on a whimper, we forget how iconic the first five episodes were. Cheryl was mediocre, Jimbo crystallized into an icon, Pangina was the ultimate robbed goddess and Janey was just a delight from start to finish, you almost don’t care that Jujubee couldn’t be bothered clocking in.

So if Tia comes back serving an adequate dress…made of material that is on her body, I will walk away from the series well-fed. Plus, maybe Hannah will devour and prove the Down Under 2 is truly a magnificent season, despite how tiny our Werk Room is.

Who has what it takes to win the UK’s first ever cash prize? And who will be the Gothy Kendoll of the season. Ideally not Gothy Kendoll herself, though if Drag Race gave us a Francesca Hogi, I wouldn’t be mad. Anyway, check back next week for all the deets.

📷: BBC Three.


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Punanilini Bean Dip

Condiment, Dip, Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race France the top five were thrilled to learn they’d be competing in the famed Girl Groups challenge. That is until they learnt that they would be facing off against the eliminated queens, with the best of their fallen sisters battling against the worst of the top five for a chance to return. As such, the dolls gave it their absolute all, working as one and straight up proving just why they made it to the end. That being said, Sara slayed and as such scored her third win of the season. Piche meanwhile, absolutely dominated from the eliminated queens and faced off against Cookie in the lip sync. And used that fire to demolish the lip sync and return to the competition, sending Cookie out in her place.

Backstage Piche tried to hide her jubilation as everyone sadly paid their respects to sweet Cookie. Eventually talk turned to Piche’s return and while the rest of the dolls felt like it was odd and a disappointing way for Cookie to go, Mother Keiona did assure Piche that she was happy for Piche to get another shot at the crown. Because, trust, if she was eliminated she would want another shot.

The next day the dolls were trying to sell the Werk Room to prospective buyers – Down Under, it’s a good space! – before everyone praised Sara on her third win. She meanwhile was just thrilled to be on the up again after a string of bottoms, which is something Piche obviously related to. The clock struck Cocorico as Nicky arrived to pop them through a Weakest Link mini challenge, hosted by the iconique Lova Ladiva. After five minutes to beat their mugs, the dolls ventured to set and well, they were stupid and oh so fun. Though Punani, obviously, stole the show, shouting out her fake sons and living her best life. Sadly though, it was treated like an actual quiz show, so her charm meant nothing and Ms. Mami Watta proved unstoppable as she snatched the win.

But that means nothing because for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be making over rugby players and swoon, my basement is flooded. As were the queens’, though they seemed to be more excited about having new sisters. For winning the mini challenge though, Mami was able to pair the queens taking the zaddiest for herself, giving the bearded zaddy Ryan to Piche, François went to Sara, a lovely man called Ludovic to Kieona leaving Florent for Punani and TBH, it was super fair, as everyone kinda looked like a perfect match.

After Nicky departed the dolls got to know their rugby players with Mami gagged to learn she paired herself with a straight. Though he loved the show thanks to her wife, so that is not nothing, I guess. And hearing him talk about being the Maddy Morphosis of France, essentially, has me delighted. Sara’s player meanwhile was excited to show inclusivity by participating and hoped to make his kids proud, and ugh, like Sara, I am already crying. Keiona meanwhile was lucky to get a gay guy, though he was scared to get rid of his beard while Piche and her player were just vibing and living their best lives. As were Punani and her zaddy, given they are just sweeties. I mean, he practised walking in heels at home to help the process. Sadly though, it didn’t appear to give him much of an advantage as the dolls raced their daughters and he lost.

We then did a hard pivot to a supercut of the dolls shaving their players – except Piche, obviously – before they beated their mugs and bonded even further. Punani’s player, like Sara’s, was thrilled to set an example for his kids and hoped his appearance would contribute to a better world in some way. It then led to Piche opening up about being kicked out of home at 13 after her boyfriend outed her to her parents and seeing everyone, including the rugby players, rally around to comfort her was just beautiful to see. As beautiful as the rugby players felt when they saw themselves in drag for the first time. Because they were all gagged.

Nicky, Daphne and Kiddy were joined on the panel by Nicolas Huchard et La Zarra as Piche and Christabiche fought to be the star of the ball and well, looked a million bucks. Despite being modelled on Cinderella’s ugly step sisters. Mami Watta and Queen Mera went from grannies to glamazonian dominatrixes, and well, swoon. Punani and Lovali were absolute camp delights while Keiona and Lola were pretty in purple, before Sara stole the show with her new sister Divina serving Ed and Pats and yeah, give her her fourth win, I guess. Because it was absolute perfection. Per. Fec. Tion.

Christerbiche was absolutely beloved for looking stunning, though Piche was read for the ill fitting outfits. Queen Mera too was praised for her energy, with Mami in turn was read for not finessing the details. Punani and Lovali were praised for the camp, though read for the outfit falling off Lovali. As Lovali sweetly tried to take the fall for Punani, like an icon. Keiona once again received universal praise before Sara was almost handed the win then and there just for being an absolute star.

Backstage the vibe was upbeat as the dolls bonded further. Well except for Mami, who was worried she was in the bottom. Punani on the other hand was hoping to avoid the bottom, despite the fit issues of the dresses. Oh and then they did a group cocorico. Which is important.

Before getting to the results, the dolls were asked why they should go through to the finale, with Piche sharing she was ready to prove herself. Mami wanted to teach others to dream big, Punani was proud of her growth and ready to cap it off with that win, Keiona was thrilled to take risks and prove she can still grow while Sara was proud of being able to grow to love herself and that she deserves it.

Ultimately, the judges agreed with that as she snatched her fourth win and made her way directly through to the finale. Keiona was next to book her ticket – as she deserves – followed by Mami Watta, leaving Punani and Piche to battle for the final spot. As soon as the lip sync kicked off – to Une femme avec une femme by Mecano, which tragically reminded me we didn’t have any licensing issues this year – it was clear this was Punani’s to lose as she felt all the emotions and channelled her fire for the crown to knock it out of the park. And ultimately book her spot in the finale, sending Piche out the door one final time.

Given we had already dabbled in comfort, I gave Piche a hug and sent her on her way before pulling Punani aside for a bit of a pre-finale perk up. Why Punani you ask? Well, since the other dolls track records were iconic in their own ways – no tops or bottoms for Mami, 4 wins and some lows for Sara and never lower than second for Mother Keiona – I figured Punani deserved it for her more classic trajectory of highs and lows. Which she was ok with, given a pre-finale advantage is a pre-finale advantage. And when it comes in the form of a vat of Punanilini Bean Dip, how could she be disappointed?

Earthy and lightly spiced, this easy dip is so warming and nourishing, it will have you coming back for more. Better still, it is pretty damn healthy, so you don’t even have to contend with guilt.

Enjoy!

Punanilini Bean Dip
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
400g can cannellini beans, drained and rinsed
1 lemon, zested and juiced
2 tbsp olive oil
3 garlic cloves, minced
2 tbsp chargrilled capsicum, drained
2 tbsp fresh flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Pop everything in a food processor and blitz until smooth. Season to taste.

Decant into a small bowl and devour, with your fave crackers.


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Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath

Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Main, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France the remaining dolls were well and truly challenged as Nicky challenged them to throw a little Time Ball. Despite it being one of the more notoriously difficult challenges of the franchise, every single one of them slayed. Nicky decided to get a little shady and asked everyone to name who they think should go home, with the dolls gagging her by agreeing on frontrunner Sara for her single dud look. Not surprisingly, Keoina slayed and snagged her second win with the next gag of the episode being that she wasn’t alone, as Cookie (rightfully) joined her in victory. Moon meanwhile landed in the bottom alongside Sara, however Moon saved the biggest gag for last as she opted to exit the contest before the lip sync.

After Moon’s exit, the dolls returned backstage to talk through how sad they were to see her go, though grateful she put her mental health first. Sara meanwhile was conflicted, feeling a little guilty to have survived without a fight and feeling like she owed her place to Moon.

Things were far more upbeat the next day as the dolls giddily welcomed themselves back for another week. Well, until the cocorico struck and officially welcomed them, that is. Nicky stomped the stairs before ominously mentioning a twist before promptly pulling out the puppets for a cute little mini challenge. Why? Because everybody loves puppets! Duh. Keiona got to read Mami, Punani pulled out Keiona, Sara got Punani and Mami got Cookie, leaving Cookie with Sara. After beating their puppets to varying degrees of success, Keiona was adorbs as she bombed and Cookie served a slutty Sara before Punani arrived and finally bought comedy, as she expertly read Keiona. Sara read Punani for filth and was oh so good, while Mami closed the show brutally reading Cookie. And it was perfect.

Which was all it took to hand her victory.

Before departing, Nicky announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be forming a girl group and performing live to Nicky’s original song. Oh and they were not the only band, as Ginger, Piche, Kitty, Vespi and Rose would be returning to compete for the right to return to the competition. Yep, we have a girl group returning challenge on our hands, All Stars 3 style! The best of the eliminated girls would lip sync against the worst of the top five, with the winner staying in the contest and the loser going home. So either keeping their place in the competition, or stealing a spot back in the new top five.

The OG top five sat down to work through the song and brainstorm choreography as the eliminated queens remained backstage as an ominous spectre over the episode, which TBH, feels like a missed opportunity. Knowing they would be facing a fiery fivetet, Keiona opted to take the lead of the group, working through the choreography and cataloguing the skills of the eliminated queens they were about to battle. They pivoted to the mainstage to properly work on the choreography and damn, the dolls were cohesive, on point and well, I feel sorry for the eliminated queens. Speaking of which, they snuck onto the stage to work through their choreography and catch up with the current top five. 

As the eliminated queens worked through their own choreo – with Piche showing the top of her thong, swoon – the top five ventured backstage to beat their mugs and reflect on the competition thus far and kiki about how close they have gotten. Talk turned to their respective profiles and how they’ve had to adapt their work the more famous they have gotten. They then spoke about the different spaces they work within and how people – particularly in America – have a misconception of how sexualised drag is and well, it is not the case and people just need to fuck right off. My words, not theirs.

Nicky, Daphne and Kiddy were joined by Victor Weinsanto and Virginie Despentes as the eliminated queens stomped the stage for their performance and well, let’s just say Piche was Piche perfect from start to finish. She had all the energy and lines, pulling focus through every single solo and well, it was not even close. The top five meanwhile were a little more even as everyone came to fight, dancing in complete synchronicity and all around proving just why they made the top five in the first place.

On the Brillex pour nous runway Keiona slayed as she vogued down the runway in a gorgeous blue and gold sequined jumpsuit, giving Cleopatra of the ballroom. Mami gave shimmering face, nips and corset, Cookie gave sparkly nude illusion and well, it was kind of a mess, Sara meanwhile brought the drama in a full length black sequin gown with reversible sequin embellishment like the kids Ts at H&M and yeah, it was a slay. Despite the fucking H&M reference. While Punani shone head to toe as a straight up cartoon character.

Keiona, as usual, received universal praise for being a killer performer and slaying the hell out of the runway. Despite the fact the judges felt she brought herself down to her sisters level when it came to the choreography. Mami was beloved for her magnetism in the challenge and for making the runway work. Cookie meanwhile was read for being the weakest of the dolls in the performance, though they loved her camp runway. Sara meanwhile received universal praise for dominating the performance and giving all the drama on the runway. While Punani received top marks for giving comedy in the performance and serving a very creative runway.

Backstage the dolls toasted making it to the first go at the top five, with everyone agreeing how strong they performed and how nice it was to work together as one in the challenge. Talk turned to their competition with everyone agreeing Piche was far and away the star on that team. Cookie meanwhile felt she would be the one lip syncing tonight, though assured us and her sisters that she has fared well thus far and as such, has no fear about saving herself. Again.

Ultimately Sara took out her third win of the season, booking her spot in the semi finals alongside Keiona, Punani and Mami, leaving Cookie to battle for the final spot alongside Piche. Because duh. As soon as Et alors! by Shy’m kicked off, Piche kept the fire from the performance, stomping the floor and killing every damn moment; voguing and flipping, fierce and funny, she gave everything and rightly earned her place back in the competition as a sweet and gracious Cookie exited stage left.

Given Cookie left with such grace and humility, I was at a bit of a loss for words backstage, given I regularly have to remind them how good they are and that winning isn’t everything. While the latter is a lie (it is), the first is always true, but thankfully, given Cookie is such a damn star, she never lost sight of that. So all I had to do was give her a big hug, congratulate her on a stellar run and career, and toast it off with a Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath.

You thought we were going to go with a cookie, didn’t you? Nope! When it looks like we’re going to zig, sometimes, we zag even if it needs to be shoehorned a little. But when it tastes as good as this – sweet, rich and a little camp – who cares what it’s called. Something, something rose by any other name, and all that.

Enjoy!

Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
800g butternut pumpkin, deseeded and cut into a 3cm dice
salt and pepper, to taste
1 onion, sliced
500g chicken breast, diced
300g ricotta
1 cup fresh basil and parsley leaves, roughly chopped
¼ cup pine nuts, toasted
¼ cup parmesan cheese, grated
1 lemon, zested
4 garlic cloves, crushed
1 tsp chilli flakes
½ cup sundried tomatoes, drained and cut into strips
1 egg, whisked
2 sheets puff pastry, just thawed
2 tbsp mixed sesame seeds, to sprinkle

Method
Preheat the oven to 190C and line a large baking tray with baking paper. Toss the pumpkin in half the oil, season with a good whack of salt and pepper and bake for 30 minutes or until golden and tender. Transfer to a plate lined with a paper towel and leave to drain.

Heat the rest of the olive oil in a large frying pan over medium heat and sweat the onion for a couple of minutes. Add the chicken breast and cook for about ten minutes, or until the chicken is cooked through. Drain off all the excess fat and leave to cool.

Combine the ricotta, herbs, pine nuts, lemon zest, garlic, chilli and sundried tomatoes in a bowl. Stir and fold through the pumpkin, chicken and onion with a good whack of salt and pepper.

To assemble, place the pastry on the bench and cut in half. Press three together to form a long rectangle. Place the filling in a line down the centre, brush a side with some egg and roll the pastry to enclose. Slowly shape the log into a wreath, brushing the end with egg and pressing to close. Transfer to the fridge to set for about fifteen minutes.

Once the wreath has firmed up, cut the remaining pastry into strips. Brush the wreath with some egg, hatch the remaining pastry over the top for artistic flair – why the hell not, right? Brush with egg one final time, sprinkle with the sesame seeds and transfer the wreath to the oven to bake for about 45 minutes, or until golden and cooked through. Remove from the oven to rest for about 15 minutes before carving, serving and most importantly, devouring.


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Apple & Almond Cinnamoon Bun

Baking, Dessert, Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France the dolls got into the dirtiest of quick drags before popping the hands in jars of, well, dirty stuff, to find keys. After using the keys to unlock the Pit Crew’s package, Keiona took out victory which gave her the power to cast this week’s maxi challenge, the rusical – Le Bossu de Notre Drag. Despite being filled with an overwhelming sense of dread after another stellar performance, Keiona finally took out her first, very well deserved win of the season. At the other end of the strong pack, Ginger and Punani landed in the bottom. And after spending Untucked fighting with Cookie, rather than practising, Ginger found herself booted while sweet Punani lived to fight another day.

Backstage the dolls farewelled their fallen sister, though were more focused on how disappointed they were that she had left the competition angry. Cookie obviously felt very emotional, given they are friends and just wished they could have talked in the moment rather than her holding it in until Untucked. Things got more positive as they turned their attention to Keiona finally getting her win and well, like her, I am feeling it and look forward to her getting many more. While Punani was just feeling energised after being in the bottom and ready to dominate the rest of the season. And since I love her, I support it.

The next day the dolls rolled in in a mime car and spoke about their track records, with Cookie and Moon ready to ride their upward momentum to a victory. Forgetting that I am already busy willing Keiona to another, but I digress. After a signature cocorico, Nicky dropped by to put the dolls through their paces in a live lip sync mini challenge. Featuring Bilal on the mic, while they would be rocking their best 15 minute quick drag. And while it was wild and confusing, Keiona and Cookie slayed it all, Punani was a silly delight, Sara was demented, Moon was smutty, Mami lost her wig and well, it was fun but I’m not sure what exactly the criteria was. Though Punani won, so I am happy.

And with it, came a minor advantage in this week’s maxi challenge, the Time Ball. Category One would see them design an outfit in honour of their heroines, the second would serve futuristic chic while the third would see them design an outfit for prom out of items from a child’s bedroom. With the aforementioned advantage being an extra 10s to loot items before the other dolls joined the brawl. And while she grabbed a tonne in that time, it didn’t stop things from quickly dissolving into chaos as the rest snatched anything in sight.

Nicky and the Pit Crew departed as the dolls split up to go through their hauls with Punani just vibing, Keiona thrilled to go fully fluffy while Sara luxuriated on her mattress. Thankfully Nicky made a speedy return to check in on her girls, with Keiona sharing her plans for a stunning gown, while Nicky was concerned about her fabric. Punani on the other hand was worried she would be a failure, Sara was going to literally have a mattress on her back, Cookie was confident while Moon was trying to bring euphoria after the dysphoria she experienced during the previous challenge. Oh and Mami was planning to bring full glamour. After Nicky left, Keiona and Mami started a conversation about how we as queer people often live in fear of violence. And the fact they all had a personal experience shows just how prevalent it is.

We immediately arrived at the ball where Nicky, Daphne and Kiddy were joined on the panel by Christian Louboutin and Léna Situations. Punani opened the Héroïne du passé category  in honour of her grandmother as a pink and green beauty queen and well, it was a slay. Mami also slayed in a suit in honour of Grace Jones and ugh, it looked GOOD. Moon slayed as a gypsy queen, Sara gave sexy writer realness, Cookie was polished as her flamenco dancer grandmother, before Keiona slayed as a stunning Josephone Baker, complete with a little strip moment.

On the Futuristic Chic runway, Punani served as a cyborg CEO, complete with QR codes to her own instagram filter. Mami gave bridal, floral robot, Moon gave future rocker, Sara gave glamour toad from Super Mario, Cookie was a shiny, sparkling fighter and Keiona slayed in a yellow gown with the world’s longest ponytail. When it came to their Reine du bal looks, Punani gave a pastel patchworked dream, Mami too was patchworked, though rocked it in blue and with a train. Moon meanwhile meant from gloom to glam with her yellow gown, Sara was a neon, colour blocked, well, something. Before Cookie slayed as a punk rocker in all the right ways before Keiona slayed her third of three looks, giving anime and shimmering in silver.

Punani was praised for showing all the versatility across her three looks, as did Mami, though mainly for slaying her made look. Moon was beloved for living everything she sold on the runway. Sara’s first two looks were beloved, though they hated the look she whipped up. Cookie meanwhile got us back to wall to wall praise as did Keiona, but honestly, are we even surprised by that at this point?

Before sending the dolls to untuck, Nicky asked them who they would send home, with everyone clearly wanting to make the most of Sara’s run at the bottom, and singling her out in front of the judges. Backstage she was pressed to be the one the dolls wanted to go, until Moon started to break down about being in the bottom and having to lip sync against her bestie Sara. She tried to hold back tears as she realised that she could not possibly stay any longer; emotional and spent, she just wanted to go home and look after her mental health. Which is oh, so valid.

After praising all the dolls for slaying the ball, Nicky announced that both Keiona and Cookie took out the win. With both scoring a pair of Louboutins. Mami and Punani were then sent to safety before Moon stepped forward to announce that there would be no need for the lip sync as instead, she would like to go home. And ugh, it was heartbreaking to see her go, but empowering to see her make the choice to look after herself. Unlike Down Under, however, the top five lip synced after giving Moon a standing ovation as she made her way out the door.

As she arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and thanked her for not just slaying the competition, but doing it with so much heart. And while I was sad we wouldn’t get to watch her slay any further, I was happy to know she was listening to herself and knew when to prioritise her health. And that is truly iconic. Iconic and more than deserving of a piping hot Apple & Almond Cinnamoon Bun.

How do you improve upon the majesty of a cinnamon bun? Add apples and almonds, of course! Gloriously sweet, with a subtle nuttiness, this fluffy little buns will have you comes back for more and more and more.

Enjoy!

Apple & Almond Cinnamoon Bun
Serves: 8-12.

Ingredients
325g unsalted butter, chopped
2 cups milk
7g sachet active dry yeast
150g raw caster sugar
1 tsp kosher salt
1 tsp almond essence
6 cups flour
2 tbsp ground cinnamon, plus extra to sprinkle
2 granny smith apples, grated
½ cup flaked almonds
2 eggs
raw sugar, to sprinkle

Method
Melt 175g of the butter in a saucepan over low heat before removing from the heat, and stirring in the milk and leaving to cool to just under 40°C. Stir in the yeast, half the sugar, the salt and almond essence, and leave to foam for about five minutes.

Transfer the liquid to a large bowl of an electric mixer and slowly add the flour, stirring by hand with the dough hook. When it is starting to come together, attach the dough hook and turn the mixer on medium speed until smooth, a couple of minutes.

Remove the dough to an oiled (second) large bowl, cover with a tea towel and leave to prove until doubled in size, or about an hour and a half.

Preheat the oven to 225°C.

While the dough is proving and the oven is heating, mash the remaining butter in a bowl and mix  with the remaining sugar, cinnamon, apple and flaked almonds until smooth.

Once the dough is ready, knock it back, turn it out onto a floured bench and roll it out until it is a large ½cm rectangle. Smear the apple, cinnamon and almond butter very liberally over the top and roll the dough lengthways to form a long cylinder.

Slice the cinnamon, doughy sausage in half, half again … and half again, and half again (or just evenly, depending on how tall you want them to be) until you reach the magic number – I prefer mine to be fat, so cut the 8 into 3 to make 24.

Place each disc in a square of baking parchment and leave them to sit, a couple of centimetres apart on baking sheets. When they are all lined up, cover with a tea towel and allow to prove a further 30 minutes.

When they are ready to roll – pun obviously intended – whisk the eggs and brush the buns before coating liberally with sugar.

Bake for 10-15 minutes or until golden and glorious. Then devour, like a sweet, iconic, boss.


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