Afternoon Tea

Brookirby Bentley

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Baking, Dessert, Snack, Survivor: Australia V The World, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the tribes finally merged, with lines drawn neatly down the middle with five a piece. They celebrated the milestone with a classic Survivor auction, where Luke won the power to send someone back to camp before it even truly began. And despite Parvati giving him ample opportunities to change his mind and not make an enemy of her, she was the unlucky individual. Or as she thought, as she arrived at camp to find a large jar of cookies. And when she accidentally smashed them while trying to bury them, was even more delighted to find a Steal a Vote advantage. Despite all that excitement, the immunity challenge was cancelled due to a wild lightning storm, so the last four standing drew rocks with Tommi the lucky one to ‘win’ the first individual immunity. Back at camp Luke desperately tried to keep the Aussies together, though Kirby had other ideas, flipping to Parvati and Cirie with Shonee, and blindsiding her former ride or die Sarah in the process. Officially making her the Queen of the Jury, as she – and the audience, TBH – deserves.

Back at camp Luke quickly congratulated everyone on the spicy little blindside, despite clearly being pissed about the turn of events. Kirby pulled him aside to tell him that she had actually told him she threw out Sarah’s name, so he shouldn’t be shocked or upset, which only made him angrier. Leading he and Janine to catch up over their mutual rage, confirming the Aussie alliance is dead and that they will work with whoever it takes to carry the two of them to the end.

The tribe awoke the next day to more rain, as Kirby and Parvati flirted and couple-dressed. Kirby told us that she is all in on her alliance with Parvati, as she desperately wants to go to the end with the best of the best. The duo then caught up in the jungle with both of them playfully talking about not being sure if the other trusts them, though Kirby continued to assure her that  she’d love to go to the end with her and Cirie. Which was music to Parvati’s ears, as she just wanted to get to the end, given it is so unlikely as the biggest target remaining. Parvati then caught up with Lisa, whispering about not wanting to be seen talking to each other in front of Luke and Janine as the duo were way too shifty. While pissed off Lisa, as she caught up with Kass about feeling like they have been cast aside for Shonee and Kirby.

Janine meanwhile was pissed about Kirby putting all the Aussies on the bottom, well her and Luke at least, so they split up to find a crack in the World tribe. First Janine got to work on Parvati, assuring her that she would love to work with her and Cirie, before casually digging for intel on Kass and pretending that Kass had been laying the groundwork to pull off a Parvati blindside. And whether it is true or not, the fact that Janine is orchestrating it makes me so happy. Particularly since George was saying she didn’t deserve to be here, when she does. She is an ICON.

The tribe met up with Jonthan for the latest immunity challenge where they would each have to stand on a box and hold up two weighted beams with the last person standing jagging individual immunity. And a mystery scroll. Everyone tried to take their places, with Shonee and Lisa struggling to even get started given they were so heavy. Surprisingly they lasted a minute, which is not something Cirie can say as she became the first to drop. She was followed by Janine and Lisa, as Shonee continued to struggle before finally dropping at the two minute mark. Luke was squirming and moaning for ages, though managed to hold on for five minutes, dropping just after Tommi. Kirby, Kass and Parvati continued to fight, with the latter two literally just standing like statues. While Lisa sweetly praised Parvati for being so strong. After ten minutes Kirby dropped, leaving the battle of the challenge beasts with Kass super chill, while Parvati squirmed back and forth before dropping at 15 minutes, handing Kass immunity. And the scroll, which JLP told her she wasn’t allowed to read until tomorrow morning.

Back at camp everyone praised Kass for being so strong, questioning where she has trained to become such a beast. Parvati meanwhile was devastated, worried about Kass being immune and potentially coming for her. Thankfully she pulled her aside, telling her that she is so nervous to not be immune because she has heard that Kass had been throwing her name around. After Kass assured her it was all a lie, they agreed to stay World strong. Parv immediately caught up with Kirby, with the latter pledging her undying loyalty and assuring her that she hasn’t heard anything. And will protect her, promising to never write each other’s name down. They then locked in a plan to get rid of Lisa and Tommi, before Kirby approached Luke and Janine to loop them in. Which they were obviously keen on.

Shonee meanwhile was thrilled to have given the public what they wanted by voting with Parvati last tribal council, though could see that Kirby’s fan girling over Parv was getting a bit much. As such, she caught up with Luke and agreed that she would be thrilled to work together to get rid of Cirie instead. After giggling about having a little bit of fun, Luke pulled Lisa and Kass aside to see if they would be interested in working with them. Skillfully telling them he would happily get rid of Kirby or Cirie, whoever they preferred. Janine meanwhile was disappointed that Kass was now immune after all of her maneuvering, so caught up with Cirie and Kirby to lock in a Lisa vote instead. Before Kirby disappeared and the duo quickly started talking shit about her, before agreeing that it would make more sense to get rid of her instead. Though Cirie admitted she was nervous about missing the shot, because Kirby would clearly target them instead if she survives. 

Before she admitted to us that she is frankly just terrified of all of the Aussies as they play hard.

Lisa and Kass caught up with Cirie, with the latter telling them about Janine’s plans, while Kass told her that Shonee and Luke were throwing out her name. Cirie then went to loop in Parvati, assuring her that she trusts Janine wholeheartedly, particularly since Kirby has already voted out her number one in Sarah. While Parvati was concerned about whether she could trust Kass moving forward. And the fact she promised not to vote Kirby out. Kass then caught up with Parvati, throwing out Kirby as an option and just as Parvati looked to be locking in the plan, Kirby arrived and pulled her aside. She then got a little paranoid about Parv turning on her, before confirming she won’t come for her. Though admitted to us that she feels like she is going to betray one of Kirby or Cirie, and that makes her nervous. And when Kirby mentioned that she has trust issues after Feras went back on his promise to play his idol for her, it gave Parvati the idea to do the same, as she would then have a very grateful and loyal ally in her corner.

At tribal council Lisa spoke about how chaotic it was on the beach that afternoon, with Cirie agreeing that she is even finding things moving way too fast and this is her fifth rodeo. Luke then explained everything that happened at the last tribal council, outing Kirby for blowing up the Aussie alliance and for being the reason that Sarah is on the jury. To her credit, Kirby backed her move and said you have to make a move when you can, more importantly, before the other person does, and she knew Sarah would strike eventually. With Janine agreeing that it did make sense. Cirie meanwhile wasn’t sure whether you can ever trust that conversations are true in the game, given people could be trying to play you. While Lisa joked that she tries not to lie, just flim flam. While Kass admitted she definitely cannot lie in English.

As talk went back to Kirby turning on her ride or die, she joked everyone should stop talking about it. She admitted she was hopeful that Sarah could still reward a good move if she made it to the end, because she could have easily made it against Kirby first. Cirie meanwhile was hoping to get some clarity after the vote, while Kirby was committed to doing what she said to her allies back at camp, while Parvati was just wanting to solidify her trust with someone and, ideally, clear a path to the end. With that the tribe voted and after a couple landed on Cirie and Lisa, Janine banded with the World tribe – Parvati included – to send Kirby out of the game to join her former ride or die on the jury.

To say that Kirby was emotional to be voted out, particularly by Parvatai, was an understatement. But to her credit, she took it in her stride and knew that she was fast becoming one of the biggest targets. And that is in no small part due to the fact that she plays hard, always opts to take the big move and frankly, is deadly. In all meanings of the word. So I pulled her in for a massive hug and tried to wash away the bitterness with a big batch of Brookirby Bentley.

Yeah, yeah – this is kinda, sorta a cheats recipe. But when it is this good, you can’t be made. Simply a brownie dotted with cookie dough, combining the two seems to elevate them to somewhere godly. And oh so delicious.

Enjoy!

Brookirby Bentley
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
3 cups flour
½ tsp kosher salt
125g dark chocolate, roughly chopped
250g unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 ½ cup muscovado sugar
¾ cup raw caster sugar
3 eggs
1 tbsp vanilla extract
2 tsp baking powder
200g milk chocolate chips

Method
Preheat the oven to 160C and 1 cup of flour and the salt into a large bowl and leave aside.

In a double boiler, melt the dark chocolate and half the butter until smooth and glossy. Remove from the heat and stir in half the muscovado sugar and all the caster sugar until combined. One at a time, whisk in two eggs until the mixture comes back together before folding in the flour and salt.

Pour the batter into a lined 25cm square cake tin and leave to rest while you prep the cookie dough.

Place the remaining butter and muscovado sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer and beat until thick and creamy. Add the egg and vanilla and continue to beat for a further minute, or until it just comes together.

Remove from the mixer and fold through the remaining flour and baking powder. Again, when just together, fold through the chocolate chips.

Dot the cookie dough over the brownies, spreading and smooshing to your heart’s desire. Pop into the oven to bake for 20-30 minutes, or until just set in the middle. And by just set, just set. Remove from the oven to cool in the pan for an hour before carving and devouring.


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Coffee and Paulienut Michake

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Baking, Cake, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor things got chaotic. And by a little, a lot. After Myles made a massive play of stealing Kristin’s idol and using it to save Paulie and send home PD instead, Logan was positively irate. Not at Myles, however, but her frequent sparring partner AJ. Myles on the other hand found unwavering loyalty in his newest ally Paulie. When it came to tribal council, Logan tried to target AJ, while the Graduates decided it was time to come back together to take out Logan. Hopefully sending her home with an idol in her pocket, to boot. Karin though had other plans, whispering to Logan to play her idol and while Karin was able to pull the rug out from under the boys, it still resulted in Logan’s bestie Laura going home. As Queen of the Jury.

Back at camp everyone was basically okay with the outcome of tribal council, except for Logan, who was angry to have lost her closest ally and her idol. Like Paulie before her, she was ready to pledge her undying loyalty to Kaz though, and take control. Sadly for them, Kaelan was busy telling AJ and Myles that he overheard Kaz whispering at tribal council and as such, they should not trust her. As such, their plan was now to eliminate some of the girls to weaken Kaz’s game, first being Logan followed by Kate. Sadly for them Kate was right behind them when they were discussing it. Whether she heard it or not.

The next day Paulie’s buff fell into the fire giving him a rough new bankrobber look. As rough as Logan was still feeling, given she had no friends left in the game and felt super hurt. Zara pulled her aside to attempt clearing the air, and when that failed, Zara traded out with Kristin and TBH, Logan kinda just needs to calm down. Particularly given she has now decided that Karin only warned her because it benefitted her game. And while, yeah that is what Kaz wanted, it still saved her. Logan then questioned whether she and Kate are still even friends, while Kaz told us how she plans to now use Logan’s volatile nature to get what she wants.

Like the boys last night, Kaz was hoping to weaken her rival, AJ. And to her, the best way to do that would be to split up Kate and Morgan, given he has clearly befriended them and they will always side with him. She caught up with Myles, who wisely reminded her that he had stuck his neck out over the last few days and as such, he is happy to jump on any plans that pop up but would be leading the charge. So yeah, he will happily join the Kate plan. Not to be outdone, AJ and Kaelan caught up to talk through a potential blindside of their own, with Kaelan happy to let AJ take all the credit for the move – aka get his hands dirty – while he would slide to the end and then make a show of everything he was involved in. And damn, is this the start of a winner’s edit?!

The tribe joined Jonathan in the jungle for the Survivor Auction. Or so they thought. Instead, they would come up one at a time to choose between two covered items. They would then flip a coin for the chance to reveal one, but if they lose, they would be choosing blind. Paulie was hoping for pizza, pasta, booze, biscoff and nutella. Instead, Myles went first and chose a loaf of bread, blind. Paulie went next and after winning his coin toss, happily passed up the opportunity for a phone call home and instead got the covered item which was a pickle. Which, gays love, right? (No, he raged, hard). Kaelan then got a bowl of rice as his blind item, Morgan went blind for a coconut, Karin got a lemon meringue pie blind, before Zara got to reveal a huge steak dinner, which she happily took. Much to Paulie’s simmering rage, as Myles offered him some bread. Kate then revealed a scroll, which she obviously took despite some hesitation. She revealed that she was now able to steal any item of her choosing after it was revealed. Kristin then won her coin flip revealing lasagne and beer, which Kate promptly stole. AJ then revealed pizza and promptly took it before Logan took her place at the table, losing the coin flip but winning the phone call home. She then called her husband and promptly broke down in tears and ugh, she was starting to frustrate me, but now I love her again. Plus, she is a mum who is also mother. And just like that, we’re back in the game Logan.

The next day everyone turned their attention back to the actual game, with AJ hoping to foster his relationship with Morgan and Kate to go to the end. Starting with getting rid of Karin first, given she is clearly out for splitting up one of the pairs. AJ and Kate then caught up with Myles, confident their plan was foolproof and that he definitely won’t turn on them. Sadly for them, Myles knows he can work with Karin, she will always be a threat and kinda sucks at endurance challenges, and as such, he was planning to play along to their face but keep Karin around.

Jonathan made a speedy return for the immunity challenge where they would each balance a ball on the end of a plank using a single leg, with the last person standing winning. Which is obvious, so I don’t really need to say that, right? Anyway, it is pretty boring to write about so let’s just list things out! Kaelan dropped out of nowhere, quickly followed by Zara, Karin and AJ within five minutes. After struggling for what felt like hours, Myles eventually dropped, followed by Paulie and Morgan, the latter out of nowhere. Kristin manoeuvred a miraculous save, while Kate was like a statue, as Kaelan whispered to Karin that this challenge is a bad one to show your cards in, given the final immunity challenge is always endurance. After 35 minutes, Kristin dropped leaving Logan and Kate to battle it out. And given Kate didn’t move within the first 55 minutes, she asked if they could make it harder, so the girls had to put their hands behind their head. They still went at it for another 20 minutes before Logan spotted a spider on her shoe, forcing her to lose her balance and hand Kate immunity.

Back at camp everyone quickly congratulated Kate on her win. Well, everyone except for Karin, given her plan had now fallen apart. Well, kinda, given she was happy to flip it to Morgan instead, and just move on. Karin, Myles and AJ caught up by the shore, quickly locking in a split vote between Morgan, Paulie and Logan, with the plan being for Morgan to go home. Obviously as soon as Karin left, AJ called bullshit on the plan as she was being too kind to him, deciding that it meant someone had told her he was targeting her. Morgan and Paulie joined the duo with Morgan agreeing with Myles that she has no interest in getting rid of Karin yet, and instead locked in a vote to get rid of Logan given she dominated the immunity challenge. At that very moment Karin and Kaelan were assuring Logan that she is safe but warned that she will cop a couple of votes tonight. While Myles pulled Paulie aside to let him know that the way the split was playing out, they could just pick a side and send whoever they wanted home.

Despite being told not to let Zara or Karin know that Logan is the target, AJ pulled Zara and Kristin aside to float just switching up the vote and getting rid of Logan without Myles knowing. Which obviously annoyed the shit out of Zara, given the game has been defined by men playing chaotically moments before tribal council. She and Kristin took the intel back to Karin and Kaelan, who then immediately ran over to AJ to put an end to this new plan. And while Karin was happy to do whatever the boys wanted, Myles was completely enraged because AJ shouldn’t have run his mouth at all. Once again everyone came together to lock in the split vote and once they were all sure of what they were doing, AJ and Karin caught up to discuss the fact that the move is logical, however she wished they just spoke things through, rather than making the choice later and running to them in a panic, which is shady. And while Karin was happy to get rid of Logan, she was sick of playing along and considered doing some whispering at tribal council.

Speaking of which, at tribal council everyone learned that the evening’s proceedings would be a little bit different. Instead of voting someone out of the game, they would be splitting the tribe in two for the next cycle with the winner of the upcoming immunity challenge winning immunity for their entire tribe. Oh and the tribes would be split by Barren and Bounty, with the former having nothing, while everyone else would get their camp, a fully cooked breakfast and an advantage at the next immunity challenge. Oh and Kate would automatically be on the Bounty tribe, as will someone she chooses. The two people with the highest votes tonight, however, would automatically land on the Barren tribe, while the other six would draw rocks.

Everyone was rightly a little nervous about how things would play out, and hopeful that they at least landed on a tribe with numbers. Zara was sick of leaving it to chance, so stood up and asked the girls what they were thinking, with Kristin simply focussed on wanting someone to have a shitty sleep. While at the other end, Myles was fixated on making sure Logan was on the Barren tribe. AJ spoke about it being clear that Kate would pick Morgan, and as they all joked, Karin, Logan and Paulie agreed that AJ needed to be split from them, so decided to load their votes on him. With that, the tribe voted with Paulie immediately landing on the Barren tribe, as the remaining votes tied up between AJ and Logan, before Logan officially joined our zaddy king. The rest drew rocks – after Logan cussed out Kaelan for voting her, despite him explaining he wanted to even up the skills – with Myles, Kaelan and Kristin going to Barren, while Zara, Karin and AJ went to Bounty.

Obviously we followed the temporary Barren tribe back to the empty beach they would call camp, and let’s just say the mood was low. Really low, as the skies opened up and drenched them. Kaelan still had a smile on his face, though, despite the miserable experience. Paulie meanwhile was acting like me, completely heartbroken to be kicked while he was down. As he quietly sulked, Logan was cussing people out again, talking about how she was being kicked while she was down. While Paulie threatened to get revenge on everyone when they’re reunited.

The next day the Bounty tribe were living their best lives, cooking up a full breakfast and getting primed for a win at the immunity challenge, given they will be fed and have an advantage. Karin meanwhile wasn’t all smiles, as she was stuck in a group with three people that she was wanting to get out and as such, if they win, she can’t. And if they lose, she won’t have the numbers. But hey, they have eggs, right? As they speculated how angry Logan would be with them, we checked in with the Barren tribe where they were desperate to try and crack a coconut. While poor Paulie continued to sulk by the ocean. Myles checked in with him and our zaddy was not buying his apology, telling him he doesn’t need to lie because he will still work with him, given he really has no other options.

Back at Bounty, Morgan and Kate were doing their hair in the well water and while they were living the life of luxury, they were still feeling awkward given they were stuck with Karin and Zara, and it is clear they were out to get them at the last tribal council. Morgan was concerned about them losing, so suggested they need to start acting as one to make it through the immunity challenge. Though Kate did suggest that they should use the time to bond with Karin and Zara to float getting rid of Myles when they’re reunited, because he continues to survive. Conveniently, Karin and Zara were keen on that plan and as such when Kate floated it, the foursome became the best of friends. Sadly, Kate also felt the need to loop in AJ to avoid pissing him off. Despite being aware that he could easily leak the intel and ruin it, he was actually on board as he had been feeling that Myles was now actively hurting his game. And if they win, the five of them can control the vote if they just don’t budge at tribal council.

Things were still pretty dire over at Barren as Paulie spoke about having zero reason to trust anyone on his tribe, so felt like a dead man walking. Kaelan, bless, continued to try and keep spirits up, cracking coconuts and trying to trauma bond with the people left. Kristin joined the fun as she and Kaelan practiced each other’s final tribal council speeches before pulling Logan and Paulie aside to float working together at the next vote and sticking together as a foursome. Paulie, hilariously, told Logan he doesn’t trust her and that the other two just do as they’re told, so what incentive does he actually have? Logan reminded him that she is equally screwed and has no other choice, so they should all band together and pitch to the others that they get rid of Myles should they lose. And once they pulled together a fire, Paulie was back to being a happy delight, dancing by the flames and ugh, he is so happy and I have a bad feeling he is about to be kicked again. Because we can’t have nice things!

Jonathan finally returned for the big immunity challenge, the classic, where they would all have to hold onto a pole with the last one hanging on winning. And given the Bounty peeps got an advantage, they would start at the top while Barren were in the middle. After ten minutes everyone was gagged to see Logan become the first to drop, quickly followed by Kaelan, Morgan and Karin, the latter two due to heights. At fifteen minutes the Bounty trio were forced to the narrower footholds, which cost AJ at the 20 minutes mark, quickly followed by Kristin. After Paulie spoke about being motivated to snatch the win, Myles dropped, leaving it all on Paulie’s broad, glorious shoulders. Sadly for him, at the 30 minutes mark he, Kate and Zara transitioned to the narrowest foothold and given the Bounty girls were tiny and he had huge feet, it wasn’t easy. They continued to fight for another twenty minutes and while Kate struggled, Zara managed to talk her through the pain long enough for Paulie to drop.

Back at camp the tribe were thrilled to be reunited, with both groups seemingly happy to get rid of Myles. Karin, however, was feeling a little confused about why AJ was all of a sudden happy to get rid of Myles, and started to panic that Logan was the actual target. Given Logan was better for her game. As such, she rallied the troops to split the votes between Myles and Paulie to guarantee she gets rid of someone she can’t work with. Which was smart, given AJ straight up pulled Myles aside and told him to play his idol, as it would force some separation between the two of them if he voted against him.

Myles obviously wasn’t vibing that, so pulled Logan and Paulie aside to let them know that he has an idol and if one of them is the split vote, they are screwed. So instead, the three of them could work together to vote out Kristin instead. They just need to pull in AJ, despite his entire plan being to distance themselves. Myles tried to talk to AJ thinking he would be on board, with AJ pointing out that he thinks he can work with Kristin, so doesn’t want to ruffle any feathers, before Myles pointed out that everyone thinks they can work with Kristin, which actually means she is a threat. Paulie was super frustrated to be forced into working with Myles, so caught up with Logan and they realised that it was kinda their only option.

Paulie caught up with Kaelan and Kristin, who promptly told him that everyone is loading on Myles with a few votes thrown on him for safety. This led to an absolute meltdown, as he cussed out Karin and then AJ, trying to convince them to vote for literally anyone else. He then tried his luck with Zara and ugh, my zaddy, people are not going to change their vote with this approach. Logan meanwhile was surprisingly zen, and while she didn’t want to work with Myles, she instead went looking for her own idol. And then, for safety, went to Kaelan and Kristin to let them know that Myles has an idol and as such, whoever is the split will go. Oh and that he wants to target Kristin. This led to Kristin pulling Paulie aside to give him one final chance to be honest with her and let her know about the idol, which he tragically did not, instead asking her to vote for Logan. Which seemingly convinced her and Logan to stay targeting Paulie.

At tribal council Zara spoke about how exposed she felt by the split tribal and that is why she was focussed on taking out victory. Despite conversations during the split offering hope, Paulie was concerned that everyone was too happy to stick with their OG allies. While Myles was just wondering if tonight would be the night where someone draws a line. Kaelan joked about checking if he could vote for himself – Lucinda is triggered – so was going with the majority, while Logan was just resigned to seeing her name come out of the urn. While she was immune, Karin still felt the vote had some risk, as AJ agreed that there is a right and wrong person for everyone to send home tonight and as such, they had to find some common ground among themselves.

Kate meanwhile was focussed on keeping her allies happy. Myles was planning to vote with people that he thinks he can work with, and to just put trust in the conversations he has had. This spooked Karin, who checked with AJ that he is 100% voting Myles tonight, which he promptly agreed with. While Logan hoped to not just vote to survive tonight, but to give her options for the next few tribal councils. With that the tribe voted, Myles played his idol for himself before a vote piled up on each Paulie, Kristin and Logan each before the last two came in for Paulie and tragically sent our zaddy home.

As Paulie arrived at the Jury Villa I ran into his arms and immediately broke down into heaving sobs. I then held him for a gull six hours before I was strong enough to pull back, look him in his gorgeous eyes and tell him how much I loved watching him play. Emphasis on watching. While it looked like we would lose Paulie pre-jury for a while there, I told him how grateful I am to be able to see him serving looks on the jury. And that little, accidental reminder was all it took to turn things around. As we toasted his run with cakes. Our own, and a big, fat slice of Coffee and Paulienut Michake.

This mildly tweaked Nigella number is truly perfection. Earthy, sweet and with a nice coffee kick, it melts in your mouth and have you wanting more. And more, and more. Just like Paulie.

Enjoy!

Coffee and Paulienut Michake
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
50g walnuts or walnut meal
225g raw caster sugar
400g unsalted butter, softened
200g flour
2 ½ tbsp instant espresso powder
2½ tsp baking powder
½ tsp bicarb soda
4 eggs
2 tbsp milk
350g icing sugar
walnut halves and chocolate coated coffee beans, to decorate

Method
Preheat the oven to 160C, and line two 20cm sandwich tins with parchment.

Combine the walnuts or meal with the raw caster sugar in a food processor and blitz to form a fine powder. Add 225g of butter, the flour, 1 ½ tablespoons of espresso powder, baking powder, bicarb, eggs and milk, and blitz until smooth. Divide the mixture between the sandwich tins and transfer to the oven to bake for 25 minutes, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean. Remove from the oven and cool in their tins for 10 minutes, before transferring to a wire rack and cooling completely.

While the cakes – swoon – chill, get to work on the buttercream. Blitz the icing sugar in the food processor to get rid of the lumps before adding the remaining butter and the remaining espresso powder dissolved in 1 tablespoon of boiling water, and blitzing until combined.

To assemble, pop one of the cakes on a cake stand and spread half of the icing on the top. Add the next cake, followed by the icing before decorating with walnuts and chocolate coated coffee beans and devouring. Like the zaddy king of the season.


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Peanut Butter and Chocolate Bendt Bylett Cake

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Baking, Cake, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the Brains smashed parmies and pints, while Myles continued to piss off Zara and Laura as he ran his mouth trying to make friends. Despite the ladies assuring him that the OG Brawn will not move for any of them. At the immunity challenge, Laura and Logan caught up and agreed that both of their tribes were clearly trying to throw the challenge, rather than Ben and AJ just being flops when it came to shooting … baskets. Back at camp an injured Noonan was irate that AJ didn’t tell her he was throwing, given she could have saved herself the injury by not participating. She then told Logan that AJ was coming for her and continued the chaos at tribal council where Paulie played his idol, which in turn spooked AJ into playing his – infuriating Karin in the process due to him keeping it from her – before Noonan sadly went home.

We followed them back to camp where AJ congratulated Paulie on his correct idol play before begging Paulie to tell everyone the truth, that he didn’t throw out Logan’s name. Which led to the duo arguing back and forth about semantics, given AJ didn’t directly say to vote her out but he clearly, heavily implied it. Practically via sky writing. Seeing this for what it is, the tribe grew tired of it so all disappeared, as Karin congratulated Paulie on his successful idol play and assured him that she trusts him. This upset AJ, who asked her to stick around and talk to him, while he tried to explain that he kept the hidden immunity idol secret because that is what you do on Survivor. While Karin argued that she just felt that if they were aligned, there wouldn’t be any secrets between them. As Logan and Paulie giggled off to the side, absolutely living for the drama. Mama.

Things were slightly less tense the next day as AJ watched the sunrise before checking in with Karin as she tended the fire. Though given their conversations were all pleasantries, he should still be nervous, despite whatever assurances she may or may not have offered. He then joined Kaelan hunting for idols to thank him for working together and being a constant in the game. Karin, Logan and Kristin caught up to talk about the former’s very emotional reaction to the idol play, before it descended into swapping stories about how AJ is telling them all the same thing. And his robotic attempts at connection are giving them the ick. And ugh, I feel bad for him now! 

Paulie meanwhile was leaning into his strengths, wearing his speedo and looking like a gorgeous King. He then floated to the OG Brains that going to the merge together would be best for everyone, so they should just replace AJ with him instead. As he desperately wants to work with him, and that he is trustworthy and has integrity. Rather than AJ’s shiftiness. And he drastically improves their odds moving forward, given he has friends over on Brains. And while it was a good pitch, Karin knew Paulie was a snake oil salesman. But all of his sales come with a kernel of truth, and he is so damn likeable, that she kind of wants to see where things go anyway.

Over at the Brains Kate and Morgan were hanging by the shore and absolutely vibing, given they have the numbers advantage and don’t have to stress about anything. At all. Except for the fact that Ben and Jesse feel like they’re in control, and they aren’t feeling it, so would prefer to explore new opportunities. Jesse called everyone together for a snack, suggesting that this new tribe should be the new majority alliance rather than the OG Brawns, so they can all share margies at the Jury Villa. And while everyone smiled at the idea of having an alliance with everyone in the tribe, the girls had had it. Officially. They ventured down to the beach to wash off, reading him and his idea for absolute filth. We then got a proper introduction to Kate and ugh, she is an icon, she is the moment. She and Morgan pulled Laura and Zara aside at the well, assuring them that they want to work with them on this tribe and after the merge, despite their alliances on the other side. And just like that, Girls Gone Wild was formed and please, let this damn all women alliance stick as I need it in my life. Like, yesterday.

My love JLP returned for the immunity challenge where the tribes would face off using poles to hold a trough up. Aka the tribal version of When It Rains It Pours. Well, after a little kiki between the tribes about the mass of information that was dropped. Specifically between Zara and AJ, through mime. After Kate and Zara took their place on the sit out benches, the challenge was on. Well, for a brief moment, after Brains dropped out of nowhere in the first five minutes. With the surprise loss, everyone started to question who threw the challenge. With Morgan, in particular, irate. Obviously AJ did remind them it could have been a complete accident, but not a single Brain believed it. Particularly Laura. Though Logan was grateful to learn Zara and Laura felt safe. 

Back at camp things were very, VERY, tense, as Jesse spoke about how the challenge was just so hard, aye. Happy to be done with said new Brains strong alliance and ready to get rid of one of the OGs. Myles took Laura and Zara for a walk to lock something in. And by lock in, went hunting for an idol. Meanwhile, Ben and Jesse and the former Brawns were busy locking in all their votes for Laura. With a single vote on Myles for safety. Morgan and Kate offered to go talk to Laura and Zara, with Jesse telling them it is finally time for them to get some dirt on their hands. Which obviously pissed them off, just before they ran off to talk to them. Meaning the girls promptly re-confirmed the newly formed Girls Gone Wild alliance, with Laura hoping to loop in Myles. And when she learned she was Jesse’s target, she decided to target him instead. Kate and Morgan caught up about how they navigate around PD and Ben feeling betrayed, while Laura and Zara told Myles that he and Laura are the split vote. But if they all vote Jesse, they just may take control.

Jesse and Ben, however, were feeling a little bit spooked about how much the girls were getting along. And as such, thought about looping Myles in and getting the men to load all their votes on Laura. Hilariously talking about potentially talking to Myles IN FRONT OF MYLES. Ben and Jesse were feeling super confident about their new plan, but the more they spoke, the more Myles realised that they have no idea how the game is played, and as such, ensured he will stick with the women. Despite naming the men’s alliance the Hunkz based on one of Jesse’s tatts. The bobbsey twins then pulled PD aside to loop him in, as they happily wandered off thinking 4 was a majority in a tribe of 5.

While everything felt settled, Laura started to get nervous about whether Kate and Morgan are actually with her, so pulled Kate aside to confirm. Sadly, in front of the boys. After sending Kate off, telling her to tell them she is desperate and just throwing out plans, Laura went idol hunting. And while she didn’t jag an idol, she did jag an advantage. One so good, she felt like she would be on top. Zara stumbled upon her, with the duo locking in their trust as she shared the as yet unknown advantage. Which seems kinda dicey, given Zara’s angry fuck. Despite being current besties, Zara had had it. Officially. As she just can’t catch a break and felt like the advantage was actually a disaster. Laura pointed out it is a solo game and as such, was going to play it. Not to be out done though, Zara vowed to spill the information far and wide.

We pivoted straight to tribal council where Zara refused to vote for Laura, which kind of gave a hint of what the advantage was. Jesse spoke about struggling with the poles, and that is why they dropped, not him throwing the challenge or anything. Zara meanwhile whispered to Laura that she is a rat. And once JLP called it out, Laura tried to save face, by pointing out that whoever received the most votes tonight won’t be going home and instead they would join Brawn. Zara and Myles suggested it go down to an open forum, with Laura and Zara both putting their hands up. Myles asked what the goal would be of them going, with Zara and Laura sharing why they would be best placed to foster relationships heading into merge.

Ben suggested Laura just wants to go over to reunite with her bestie, with her countering that Zara’s bestie Karin is also there. Though when Ben and Jesse pointed out Karin is working with Kristin, things looked more hopeful. Well, for Zara. As Laura congratulated her on a game well played. Ben asked Zara if she would get rid of AJ if she were to go, with her assuring them she has no interest in playing with chaotic players. Leading to the former Brawns whispering about which one was the right decision. With that the tribe voted and Zara, narrowly, came out on top. And after eventually gathering her things, she wandered off to reunite with Karin. As Laura simmered with rage, telling everyone that she wouldn’t have done that to Zara.

We followed her off to her new tribe where Karin and Logan were absolutely delighted to see their former ally. She then regalled them with the tale of how she made her way there, with her conveniently saying that she and Laura found the advantage together. She assured Logan that while the OG Brains were on the bottom of the tribe, they had all worked their arses off to make some inroads with the tribe. She then asked if they could catch her up on what she had missed, though was unsure she should do that in a group setting, given it sounds pretty feisty.

The next day Laura was still simmering with rage at Brains, talking about how angry she was that Zara stole her exit to Brawn. And when Jesse apologised, not realising Zara was hijacking it and that he would have voted differently if he did, she assured him that all her anger is directed towards Zara. Kate too was frustrated, though at both Laura and Zara, because they were about to blindside Jesse. And still could have done that, if only they didn’t find the damn non-advantage. And now that they have to wait longer, their plans could leak before they have the chance to get him. As such, Kate caught up with Jesse to talk through plans post-merge, with him rightly clocking that their alliance could crumble and suggesting that they need to figure out their next moves. With him pitching they take out Zara at the merge.

Myles meanwhile was having a good laugh, given he once again copped votes at tribal council, even though he wasn’t part of it. Thankfully, though, he assured us that he wasn’t serious about aligning with the boys, given they are idiots (my words, not his). What he was serious about, though, was finding an idol, so he scurried away to go hunting. With him once again making easy work of it, pocketing the idol and keeping our pole-dancing bi king alive for another day.

Also Ben is nowhere to be seen around camp, which feels odd, no?

We checked in with the Brawns where Zara realised she was now living a life of luxury, while Karin was just delighted to have her bestie back in the game. And hopeful that she would be able to use Zara to get rid of AJ. He obviously knew it, following them around like a bad smell every time they tried to chat, with Kaz eventually storming off, enraged with him. AJ used the time to loop Zara in on the fact that he didn’t tell Karin about her idol and how that was the final straw, after his theatrics. Though he was now hopeful Zara would be able to help him smooth things over. He told her not to trust anything Paulie says. Which she agreed with, suggesting that once he is gone, she would like to turn their attention to Logan, as they cannot risk her and Laura reuniting at the merge. Which was music to AJ’s ears, as he felt he could finally claw his way back to the top.

My love JLP returned for the reward challenge where the tribes would face off 1 on 1, sliding down a ramp to collect a ring and then wrestle it to their pole. With the first tribe to three scoring a trip to the Survivor Spaghetti Shack. Just a reminder, they would be slipping a ring on their poles, which is important. Logan and Kate were first to battle, with the icons fighting hard before Logan scored the first point for Brawn. The twink and twunk faced off again, with Paulie dragging Myles and the ring to put Brawn further in front. Morgan then destroyed Karin before Ben, who apparently was just on the toilet earlier, tied things up over AJ. Who literally just gave up. PD and Kaelan then faced off for the win, with Kaelan once injuring someone, as medical were called in as PD’s arm made a cracking sound. 

As he received care, Kaelan ran to the side in tears, heartbroken to have injured someone. Again. As everyone assured him it was an accident. PD was moved off to a seat where JLP – a qualified doctor, need I remind you – and the doctor decided he may have just torn a tendon, given he could still move his arm. As everyone was focused on making sure Kaelan didn’t stress about his latest victim, Laura pulled Logan aside to warn her that Zara hijacked the non-advantage and not to trust her. Rather than calling off the challenge, JLP called that battle a draw and instead Zara and Laura would end their feud for the win. While JLP begged everyone to be gentle from now on. As they made their way to the top of the ramp, Zara apologised profusely and while it appeared that everything was all good, neither gave an inch during the challenge and after 10 minutes, Laura took out victory for the Brains. After JLP handed the Brains a scroll to explain how their feast would work, PD assured Kaelan everything was all good before he was taken off for further assessment, and ugh, seeing Kaelan break down in tears again was so heartbreaking.

We followed the Brains off to their reward where they read the scroll outlining they would each visit the shack solo. Being fair they all drew sticks, with Jesse first and Kate forced to go in last. Jesse ventured and absolutely demolished the entire set while going to town on some balls. After finding nothing, Ben went in to try, followed by Laura before Myles got to have his turn. And unlike the rest of the tribe, he emptied the bowl to discover a note telling him to check the shelf. Or so he thought, given the note actually said to check the shelter. And while he turned the place apart, he didn’t realise his mistake. Nor did Kate, who went last. 

Back at camp the Brawn tribe were heartbroken to have missed out on the spaghetti, though didn’t have time to dwell, as Kristin asked if anyone managed to get information from the other tribe during the challenge. Logan obviously stayed awkwardly quiet, given Laura told her that Zara threw her under the bus at the last tribal council. Logan pulled Karin aside to see whether they can trust Zara, particularly given she is close to AJ and may just let him get away with voting her out. Logan and Karin agreed they now have the ick with AJ and while they tried to float getting rid of him with Kaelan, the quiet killer still wanted to take out Paulie first. As such, the trio went idol hunting as Logan was convinced that AJ would be the death of her. She then immediately found the idol, thrilled to have some power. And can be assured that neither AJ or Paulie don’t have it. Oh and she managed to build a little trust with Kaelan and Karin in the process, which she hoped could help her take control at the merge.

Meaning PD is definitely not coming back and this episode is now just dedicated to setting up merge plot lines, no? Though watching Karin and Logan cackle about accidentally sending home AJ on a split was fun.

We checked in with the Brains where Kate held onto a massive bag of food for PD’s return, presumably to distract herself from how irate she was with Jesse for eating all the meatballs. While Myles was angry at himself for not finding the idol on the shelf. Thankfully he perked up after finding the scroll in the shelter, and this one was actually good, the power to steal an idol before JLP sends people off to vote at tribal council. Aka Knowledge is Power.

The tribes reunited for the latest immunity challenge where PD joined them with his arm in a sling. Again, the second person to become Kaelan’s victim. Thankfully for Kaelan’s guilt, PD was allowed to stay, Missy style, as his bicep was just torn. Though JLP cautioned that he may not be able to compete in every challenge. PD promptly sat out for the Brains meaning AJ had to sit out on Brawn. Which was wise, as it was a challenge that one person could throw. Everyone would hold a rope to balance a disc while they worked to build a stack of blocks on top. With the first to ten scoring immunity. Logan ran the Brawn tribe like it was a military operation, getting out to a huge lead as the Brains struggled to figure it out. Until Brawn dropped after loading their ninth block, opening things up for Brains. Brawn caught up and then dropped again, before Kate put everyone out of their misery, saving the Brains stack while placing the final block.

Back at camp Paulie and AJ were both feeling anxious, pulling their people aside to find some allies. Paulie tried his luck with Kristin, while AJ, Karin and Kaelan caught up, with AJ pretending he will be fine to be the split vote to apologise for playing so crazily. He, Karin, Zara and Logan caught up by the well with Zara telling AJ to pull his head in and make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid. As she will not tolerate his bullshit. Karin, meanwhile, wanted to make AJ sweat a little to punish him for his theatrics. As such, she caught up with Paulie with our zaddy reiterating that she can not trust AJ and he clearly isn’t going to help her make it to the end. And as such, she needs to jump on board his plan to get rid of AJ before he gets rid of her. Paulie pulled Kristin aside to float the idea of her playing her idol for him tonight to send AJ home instead. He made a very wise pitch, suggesting that if she saves him, at the merge they just need to pull PD over and then they can play the middle for the first few votes. Which Kristin found hilarious given she now holds all the power, and PD is actually her ally anyway.

AJ started to get nervous as Paulie and Logan kikied in the shelter, so pulled Kaelan aside to talk through the vote and make sure he didn’t need to worry, given Paulie seemed way too comfortable. AJ was confident that Kristin and Zara wouldn’t turn on him, but was concerned about Karin and Logan. And given he was nervous about a Paulie idol play, he wondered whether they should be talking out Logan instead. He clocked that Kate and Morgan would join Logan and Laura at the merge and become a dangerous foursome, while Paulie will always be a target. And while Kaelan tried to talk him off the edge, Zara joined the boys to confirm with them that the Paulie plan is still on. Kristin and Karin joined the fray, with Kristin telling them everything and shutting it all down. Though trust, Karin was kinda hoping for some drama or an idol play, so she could see AJ accidentally heading out the door.

When the Brains arrived at tribal council, the tribe – along with us – were gagged to learn that none of them would be going home tonight as tribal council was cancelled. Ben had opted to quit the game, off screen, leaving us with no clarity or final words. After an assurance that one of them just got a second chance, they all got sent back to camp as I made a beeline for the airport hoping to catch Ben. And while he was already through customs, I wasn’t able to get answers about his mysterious exit – let’s pray the producers give us something tonight – I was able to lob a Peanut Butter and Chocolate Bendt Bylett Cake to him for the flight home.

Despite leaving no impact on the season, Ben lucked out with arguably the best recipe – a NYT copycat – as this cake is God tier. I mean, you can’t go wrong with the combination of peanut butter and chocolate. And when we slather it in two glazes, it is even better.

Enjoy!

Peanut Butter and Chocolate Bendt Bylett Cake
Serves: 12.

Ingredients
240g smooth peanut butter
115g cream cheese, at room temperature
75g muscovado sugar
5 eggs, at room temperature
1 tbsp vanilla extract
430g flour
¾ tsp sea salt, plus a pinch for the icing
95g cocoa powder
240ml boiling water
240ml cold natural yoghurt
225g unsalted butter
120ml vegetable oil
400g caster sugar
1 ¼ tsp baking powder
¾ tsp baking soda
140ml thickened cream
60g smooth peanut butter
60g icing sugar
pinch of sea salt
55g dark chocolate

Method
First in a stand mixer, cream 180g of the peanut butter with the cream cheese and muscovado sugar using a paddle attachment on medium speed for five minutes, or until light and fluffy. Egg one of the eggs and a teaspoon of the vanilla, and mix until fully incorporated. Reduce to low and gently add three tablespoons of flour and ¼ teaspoon of salt and mix until just combined. Transfer to a bowl while you work on the chocolate cake.

Speaking of which, preheat the oven to 170C. Lightly butter a bundt tin and dust with cocoa to fully coat.

Pop the 95g of cocoa in a small bowl and whisk in the boiling water to form a nice, chocolatey slurry before adding the yoghurt and whisking to combine. Leave to rest.

Meanwhile combine the butter, oil and caster sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer and cream with a paddle attachment on medium for five minutes, or until light and fluffy. Reduce to medium and add the remaining four eggs one at a time, allowing the mixture to come back together after each addition, before adding the remaining vanilla. Whisk the remaining flour in a bowl with the baking powder, soda and salt. Reduce the mixer to low and slowly add a third of the flour until it is all combined. Add half the cocoa-yoghurt, and once it is combined, follow with a third of the flour, followed by the remaining wet ingredients and then the remaining flour until the batter comes together.

Pour about two-thirds of the chocolate batter into the lined bundt, spreading to form an even layer, before carving a little moat in the middle of the ring. Spoon in the peanut butter batter, before covering with the remaining chocolate batter, once again smoothing the top. Pop the bundt on a lined baking sheet and pop it in the oven to bake for 60-75 minutes, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean. Transfer to a wire rake to cool in the pan for ten minutes, before flipping and allowing to cool completely.

While the cake chills, get to work on the glazes. First, heat 60ml of the cream in a small pot and combine the remaining peanut butter with the icing sugar and a pinch of salt in a small bowl. Once simmering, pour the cream into the peanut butter and stir until combined.

Repeat the process with the remaining cream, this time pouring it over the chocolate in a separate bowl and stirring until it is melted and combined.

To decorate, transfer the cake to a baking sheet and spoon half the chocolate glaze over the top, allowing it to drip down the sides. Follow with half the peanut butter glaze, before repeating the process, swirling the glazes with a spoon to make it nice and pretty.

Allow the glaze to set for half an hour before carving and devouring, solo. While it’s namesake flies away from the island with no context.


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Kent Miller-Feuillendle

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor everything was on the up and up for the Brawns after winning their first immunity challenge. After a little scene with Zen talking about his hunger, the tribes arrived at the reward challenge where JLP announced that despite it only being episode three, it is a doozy. Eleven individual bowls of fries, ready for the loading. The Brawn tribe dominated the challenge 5-0, however Zen appeared to do something with his hand while wrestling Kaelan. Back at camp, Paulie found a clue to the hidden immunity idol in his bowl, so quickly went hunting while the rest of the tribe went swimming. It was then that Zen realised his hand had doubled in size. We then fast forwarded to the immunity challenge where both tribes were gagged to see him return from medical leave with a cast on his hand due to a badly broken finger, which sadly meant he was being pulled from the game.

As everyone wiped away their tears, we did a hard pivot and turned our attention back to the immunity challenge where they would race over a series of obstacles to collect rope and bamboo. They would then use said rope and bamboo to fashion a big ol’ stick to knock a bottle off a shelf to release a key. Next, they would use said key to unlock coconuts and then use said coconuts to knock out tiles. On the first obstacle Kent almost became the second medevac as he took a hard fall on his head. Both tribes were neck and neck – no pun intended – with Kent working at a feverish pace, clearly knowing his terrible game hasn’t made him many friends. Brawns started to pull away as the Brains descended into chaos, with Rich barking orders and annoying the hell out of all the women. Somehow things got closer with both tribes shooting coconuts, as Kent proved himself valuable to the Brains knocking tile after tile. Just sadly not as quickly as Ben for the Brawns, who secured their second immunity challenge.

Back at camp Kent immediately got back to work targeting Myles, lecturing him in front of the tribe, which only made him more dislikable. As such, the dolls rightly got to work locking in a plan against Kent instead, and immediately looped in Myles. After assuring him to not worry about any other plan he hears. The Coven joined the rest of the tribe to lock in the Kent plan, which frustrated AJ, who felt it was a waste of time given he will always be a target. But given AJ is literally wearing a different outfit in his confessional, I think he will be on the wrong side of the vote tonight.

AJ pulled Myles aside to float a plan to get rid of Logan instead, given she is popular, likeable and influential. Like Shonee, remember. With Myles apparently open to it, AJ went to Kaelan before finding a potential woman to flip to his side. Deciding Ally was the most likely to jump, he checked in with her and while she was open to it, he didn’t actually name names. Sadly she went straight to Logan assuming his plan was Rich, and floated getting rid of him instead. Which Logan, obviously, was 100% fine with. She then ran the plan past Laura, unaware that she was really the plan. While Laura tried to talk her out of it, she doubled down on hating Rich so much that getting rid of him would be best for her mental health. They then hilariously caught up with AJ, who had to pretend the plan was still Kent.

AJ finally pulled Ally and Max aside, who were gagged to learn that Logan was his actual target and as such, pulled the pin in the plan and went back to getting rid of Kent. As Ally assured him she is fine to get rid of Logan, just not yet. Despite AJ begging Ally to not say anything, she immediately took the information back to Logan, who was rightly pissed and looped in Laura, begging her to flip the vote on AJ and send him home instead. Which is 100% what would happen to a poker player, no?

We finally ventured to tribal council where Kent spoke about how much easier this tribal council will be compared to their first. Logan admitted she has an idea of who is potentially aligned, but still isn’t confident in knowing who to trust. Myles spoke about being a free agent and just wanting to prove himself as such to downplay the perception that he is playing too hard. Rich shared that there are multiple people on the block tonight, with Logan coyly pointing out someone may not even know they’re on the block. As she whispered to Laura about how much she wants to see AJ go. Kent then spoke about having an exceptional read on the situation and felt it was unlikely he was being blindsided. AJ spoke about the fear of making the wrong move and not getting your target out. Which Logan laughed about, admitting she is struggling to decide whether to go for instant gratification of getting someone out or planning three steps ahead. While Laura tried to caution everyone to think their moves out carefully.

With that, obviously, the tribe voted – Kent even more obviously for Myles – before the tribe stuck to the original plan and the votes piled up on Kent. Much to his shock and the utter jubilation of everyone at home. None more so than me. As Kent arrived at Loser Lodge, however, he was actually kind of sweet, so instead, I commiserated with him about his loss. Because as a super fan, that is one thing I can relate to. As such, I toasted him living out his dream, however short it may have lasted, with a gorgeously rich Kent Miller-Feuillendle.

Like the man himself, this little treat is oh so rich. But in this instance, it is a good thing. The custard is velvety and smooth, the pastry is crisp and light, creating the perfect quick and easy dessert. Only because this is a cheats version, obviously.

Enjoy!

Kent Miller-Feuillendle
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
1 tbsp custard powder
1 cup milk, plus extra for glazin’
1 tbsp raw caster sugar
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1 ½ sheets puff pastry, thawed
⅔ cup thickened cream
1 cup icing sugar
2 tsp glucose syrup
2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
1 tbsp cocoa powder

Method
Preheat the oven to 200°C.

Combine the custard powder and a quarter of the milk in a saucepan until well combined. Whisk in the sugar, vanilla and remaining milk and cook over medium heat for about five minutes, or until the custard thickens. Remove from the heat and transfer to a bowl, covering with a piece of cling film directly touching the surface and chill for a couple of hours for an hour or so.

While the custard is chilling, place the pastry on a lined baking sheet and top with a second piece of baking paper, followed by a second baking tray, and bake for 20 minutes. Remove the top trays and bake for a further five minutes, or until golden and crisp. Transfer to a wire rack and allow to cool completely.

To make the glaze, whisk the icing sugar, glucose and melted butter in a bowl with a little bit of milk, one tablespoon at a time, until you have a thick but pourable glaze. Remove a quarter of the glaze to another bowl and whisk in the cocoa.

When you’re almost ready to start assembling, whisk the cream until stiff peaks form and fold it through the custard mixture. Cut the pastry in half using a serrated knife and place one piece on a platter. Spread with half the custard cream, top with another sheet of pastry and the remaining cream before topping with the last piece of pastry. Pour over the white glaze, spreading evenly with a spatula. Drizzle lines of chocolate glaze lengthwise along the strip, before using a skewer or toothpick to create a pattern.

Pop in the fridge to set before devouring, greedily, thinking about burning the hats of teachers.


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Soa de Muesli Cookies

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars 1, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Global All Stars the dolls starred in boobielicious Boobie Movie sequels in the vein of one of the best episodes of All Stars 2 featuring Thelma and Wheezy and the birth of doo-wa, but make it Barbie. But I’ve digressed. In record time. I mean, the first sentence! Everyone was kind of great this week, but Kween Kong dominated as the giant Jurassic Boobie and rightly took out her second win of the season. Then Ru had to split hairs, tragically going with Gala being overwhelmed by her look on the runway and Eva falling in and out of character as reason to be in the bottom. With the iconic Eva tragically going home.

Backstage the dolls were gagged to have lost Eva though Gala was thrilled to prove that she is a lip sync assassin on the global stage. But vowed to step it up this week to avoid showing those skills too often. Pythia meanwhile was heartbroken to be losing her besties week after week, which in turn breaks my heart because Pythia is the sweetest. Vanity spoke about how sure she was that she was going to lip sync because she is getting stuck further and further in her head. Kween sympathised about how hard that can be, sharing that she felt like that was her experience on her OG season. While Alyssa tried to give a pep talk about them being stars, as they remain while the room gets more spacious.

Oh and then Gala (almost) showed hole, which is important.

The next day the dolls were energised to slay another week, with Alyssa in particular thrilled to get out of the safe zone. Everyone congratulated Kween for getting her second win, before turning their attention to Gala’s survival. Thankfully she and Vanity were ready to rise from the bottom though, so all was right in the world. Or they are back in the bottom tonight. Talk turned to what this week’s challenge could be before Ru dropped by to put the girl’s through a little quick-drag flight mini challenge. With the make-up being done in the air, during a heavy bout of turbulence. And hot damn it was silly, fun and a solid reminder of the kind of challenges we enjoyed in the early years when there was an off season. That being said, there was allegedly a judging criteria somewhere and that handed Tessa the win. 

Ru asked the dolls to partner up with the sister they would like to have a drink with, leaving Nehellenia alone. Leaving her free to pick her throuple. Tessa and Alyssa formed one duo, with Kween and Gala, and Vanity and Soa the others, while Kitty and Pythia’s couple was joined by the aformentioned third, in the form of Nelly. Ru then explained that the pairings are important for this week’s maxi challenge as before the season, they were all asked to pack a suitcase of raw materials, which their partner would now be using to design a cocktail dress. So congratulations Tessa, because Alyssa’s supplies are going to be expensive. While Kween will be naked, given Gala loves to serve body and Kween has a lot of it.

After dropping that bomb, Ru exited and allowed the dolls to go through their new supplies. Soa was thrilled with Vanity’s golden fabric while Vanity was hoping the emerald green would be enough to get her rudemption. As predicted, Tessa was delighted by her luxe new materials while Alyssa was ready to break down looking at the scraps she inherited from Tessa. Literal scraps. Kween was excited that Gala actually pulled together a bunch of fabrics, looking forward to serving another design, given it is her bread and butter. While Gala was hoping to serve glamour with the lovely fabrics she inherited. Our throuple were a little more apprehensive as Nehellenia inherited two lycras from Kitty, along with a lace, much to her disgust. Kitty on the other hand was loving her suitcase from Pythia.

As they got to work on their looks, Soa grew more and more nervous about the process, though was hopeful there were enough terrible designers in the pack to help her scrape through one more time. Given Alyssa can’t sew, Tessa has questionable taste and Nehellenia was in tears over her fabrics and unable to focus. Kitty briefly checked in to see if she was ok, before flipping it and confronting her for being ungrateful for the multiple, expensive fabrics she inherited when other girls just got one option.

Before the fight could explode, Ru dropped by to kiki with Tessa continuing to delight in how well stocked Alyssa’s suitcase was and how she will be using it to her advantage. Alyssa meanwhile showed off her collection of scraps. Ru praised Alyssa for turning look after look each and every week, cautioning her to not be too boring with her design and oh Alyssa, you (may be) in danger girl. Soa meanwhile was going to glue, drape and hope for the best, Vanity was going rich-glam bow, Gala was going luxe whore and Kween was planning to serve Gala by way of Grace Jones. Nehellenia was still pressed about her fabric though her design looked exceptional, Kitty was planning to twin it with Ru and Pythia had essentially done her dress already and it looked incredible.

Oh and then Kitty handed Nehellenia a tagline in the form of ‘margherita pizza’, which delighted Ru to no end.

After Ru departed again, the dolls quickly buckled down to pull their dresses together. Which in Vanity’s case was just making it over and over again, as she kept changing her mind. Two-thirds of the throuple, on the other hand, were vibing, while Nehellenia was now battling with the sewing machine.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to beat their mugs with Gala ready to serve body-ody-ody, sharing that she would be padding today and trying something new. Soa meanwhile was lightening her make-up as Michelle requested, as Kween sweetly coached her how to work with the skin tone. Tessa was hoping her gown would finally get Alyssa to adopt her and if not, she would like an expensive meal to congratulate her on her win. Vanity meanwhile was spiralling, as she tried too many options the day before and was left with nothing more than scraps, so was literally working paper on to the new gown she was pulling together in the minutes before stepping on the runway.

Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by the gorgeous Jasmine Tookes as Alyssa Edwards opened the 5 O’Clock Somewhere runway trying her best to enjoy her cheap fabric like only Katy Perry could. Alyssa’s words, which I co-sign. Tessa meanwhile was stunning, feeling all her oats and giving her best Alyssa. Soa’s dress lacked shape but hot damn, her make-up was stunning. Vanity somehow managed to pull the look together serving avant garde Poison Ivy, Kween served expensive frill neck lizard, Gala meanwhile looked like Alyssa Edwards doing Marilyn Monroe, Kitty was a silly delight, once again giving night on the town. Nehellenia looked lovely, though she herself hated everything about her ugly dress. While Pythia gave gilded glam and looked stunning, despite her wig not making much sense.

Alyssa, Kitty and Nehellenia were sent to safety before the judges lavished Tessa with all the praise for serving such a stunning look. And by Tessa, Alyssa’s fabrics. Soa’s softened mug was beloved, as was the colour, though she was read for the general shape of her gown. Vanity was praised for the concept, though read for the general execution as she opened up about struggling with her inner saboteur. Kween was praised for giving something different and finding a way to combine herself and Gala in the look. And getting her rudemption from Down Under. Gala meanwhile was praised for trying something different this week and while the dress wasn’t perfect, they lived for what she was trying to do. Oh and then Pythia was beloved, because she is Pythia. Again, despite the wig.

Backstage the safe dolls were delighted to be deemed as such, though Kitty didn’t waste any time throwing shade at Nehellenia for being so emotional. After clocking the tops, them and the bottoms joined the safe dolls with Tessa delighted by how much the judges lived for everything she served this week. Gala meanwhile was hopeful that she wasn’t the worst and ready to slide by, while Vanity was ready to lip sync and fight for another day. Kween asked her to try and relax and get out of her head so she could enjoy herself. Soa meanwhile knew she was in the bottom, though was so proud of how far she had come.

Ultimately it was Tessa that took out her first win of the season before Kween and Pythia were sent to safety. As was an extremely shocked Vanity, leaving Gala and Soa to lip sync to Jessie J, Ariana Grande and my girl Nicki’s Bang Bang. And let’s just say the assassins proved how they got their titles, giving their everything and hitting every lyric, feeling all the feels and flipping around the stage. Sadly for my sweet Soa, however, Gala proved herself unstoppable, giving all the anger and attitude, saving herself and sending Sia out of the competition.

As is oft the case, it didn’t take Soa to find me backstage. All she had to do was follow my guttural, wailing cries, as I desperately tried to figure out why such a bright star like Soa was sent home early. She pulled me in for a massive hug and assured me that she loves Kween, Kitty and Alyssa, so doesn’t want me to hold it against them that Ru may be appearing to play favourites with her girls. I continued to sob for a minimum of four hours before finally telling Soa how proud of her I am, for pushing herself and showing the world just how talented she is. And while that isn’t a crown, there is a form of win in there somewhere. And if we don’t count that, we can always count the delicious batch of Soa de Muesli Cookies.

There is nothing more delicious that a muesli cookie. I mean, yeah, chocolates and cornflakes and nuts all make delightful fillings, but the simplicity of dates, oats, coconut and raisin are their own wholesome form of fun.

Enjoy!

Soa de Muesli Cookies
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
100g pitted dates, roughly chopped
⅓ cup boiling water
1 egg
2 tbsp honey
¼ cup coconut oil, melted
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 ¼ cups rolled oats
½ cup flaked almonds
⅓ cup desiccated coconut
½ cup sultanas
¾ cup almond meal
½ tsp baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C and line a baking sheet with baking paper.

Pop the dates in a bowl and pour over the boiling water and leave to soak for ten minutes. Once nice and soft, mash with a fork to form a paste before mixing in the egg, honey, coconut oil and vanilla.

When the wet ingredients are combined, fold in the oats, almonds, coconut, sultanas, almond meal, baking powder and cinnamon to form a thick batter.

Divide the batter into 8, rolls into balls and flatten on the lined baking sheet to form thick mounds. Transfer to the oven and bake for 20 minutes, or until golden.

Remove from the oven and leave to cool on the tray for 10 minutes, before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely. And then devour.


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Drew Bastachio & Plum Danish

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 45, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Austin and Dee were slowly but surely falling in love, forming an unbreakable alliance in the process alongside their fellow Rebas. When Drew decided it was time to get rid of Julie, he told Austin, reiterating that Dee can’t find out in the process. Obviously he told her, given he is smitten, and she immediately told Julie, directing Julie to play the idol she stole from Austin to get out Emily. And while Julie was tempted to take a shot at someone else and solidify her game, she ultimately stuck to her bestie Dee’s plan and eliminated Drew’s second bestie and our queen, Emily.

Back at camp everyone was awkward AF until Katurah congratulated Julie for saving herself. Julie meanwhile was trying to contain her excitement, though pretending to be annoyed at Dee for ‘blindsiding’ her to keep their closeness hidden. Austin meanwhile was glad that he didn’t have to waste his amulet, meaning he has guaranteed safe this episode. So swoon. Dee on the other hand was giving an Oscar winning performance, pretending to be gutted that Julie played her idol and was now worried she would now be Julie’s target. Dee and Austin caught up, with her assuring him she never told Julie, before they locked in a final three alliance. Drew dropped by, happily believing Julie’s reads are on point and that somebody’s acting wasn’t. Julie then arrived and made things awkward, questioning when they gave up on the Reba 4 and while it was cute, Drew couldn’t even look her in the eye. So goodbye Drew, I guess?

The next day Katurah got up early to make a start on finding the replaced idol to block Julie from getting it. Sadly for her, Dee and Austin realised she was awake and as such got hunting themselves. And while she didn’t find an idol, Austin found her and made things super awkward. Despite her explaining she was just trying to make sure Julie couldn’t find anything, he cautioned that spooking Julie could lead to her hunting even harder. Everyone returned to camp with Drew and Julie catching up to clear the air, as Drew pretended Reba 4 making it to the end is still viable, while she pointed out that she just doesn’t know how to trust him. Drew, on the other hand, told us that he is just swallowing his rage and still plans to get rid of her next. After delivering Drew back to camp, Julie asked to talk to Dee and both of them acted angry as they scurried away from camp before they started laughing at how well they managed to pull off the blindside. Dee laughed about swearing on everyone in her life and how she is still close with everyone, assuring Julie that Drew is the one coming for her and as such, they need to rally new numbers to get rid of him. Immediately.

The tribe met up with Probst for an epic reward challenge where they would race from the ocean and then barrel roll through a course to collect keys which they use to unlock a slide puzzle. With the first person to win scoring an epic picnic on a sandspit in the middle of the ocean. Which they will arrive at by helicopter. Austin powered out to an early lead with everyone nipping at his heels to varying degrees of success. Drew was first to close the gap, leaving the besties to fight it out on the puzzle, as everyone slowly made their way to fighting with them. Before Austin solved the puzzle out of nowhere and snatched reward. Obviously Probst asked him to select a friend to go with him, opting for Dee before Probst gave him one other person, which was Katurah, to keep Drew and Julie back at camp to guarantee nobody starts throwing out his name. Given they’re focused on getting each other out.

Back at camp, the world’s most awkward throuple popped on a pot of rice and lamented how shitty it was to miss out. Even though they all understand why Austin didn’t choose them. Julie awkwardly told Drew she could go grab some peppers with Jake to make sure Drew’s babysitting isn’t ruined. As Drew tossed the lid of the pot into the shore, the duo were busy hunting for idols and causing chaos and yeah, I love that for them. As they returned to the shelter, the helicopter did a flyby to prove they weren’t on reward, with Drew continuing to be salty.

On the helicopter, the trio were giddily enjoying the ride as Katurah realised she was third wheeling as Dee and Austin held hands and rubbed knees, and ugh, it was sweet and I love this story and am a little shocked it took so long for us to get here. Was the love story happening from the first episode? I want to know and I want them to get married, Boston Rob and Amber style. Just as they decreed. I mean, the supercut of the two of them blushing, talking about how much they love each other was adorbs, and I love love, ok?

Back at camp Drew was still miserable as they finally got to work cooking the rice, as Jake pretended to be going to get changed so he could hunt for an idol. Sadly for him, he found something, however it was just a clue. Directing him to find the idol in a secret compartment of the raft. He then stripped down to his underwear to keep his story up as he finally grabbed the idol, vowing to leverage it to earn him votes at the final tribal council.

The tribe came together with Probst for the latest immunity challenge where they would use a leg to balance a ball on a long paddle, with the last one standing guaranteeing themselves a spot in the final five. And given the paddle has a lip, I honestly don’t see how this is that difficult. And as soon as I wrote that, Julie and Jake dropped back to back within minutes. Katurah was next to go, followed by Drew after an epic save around the seven minute mark, leaving Dee and Austin to battle it out. With the lovebirds being shady about how easy they are finding the challenge. After surpassing the dreamteam’s winning time of 21 minutes, Austin started to wobble and dropped while Dee just did not move, earning herself immunity as Austin hobbled over to congratulate his girlfriend.

Back at camp the tribe congratulated Dee on her epic victory as the lovebirds joked about being desperate to beat each other in every challenge. As Julie wandered off, Drew and Austin locked in Jake and Katurah on the Julie vote. Sadly for the boys, Jake knew he needed to do something bigger if he wants to win and as such, pulled Julie aside to float a Drew blindside instead. Which she was obviously thrilled about. Julie knew that Dee would also be down to write Drew too, though had to pretend it would be a harder sell to get majority. Jake quickly looped in Katurah who was down and while Katurah was confident she could convince Dee to join them, Jake didn’t want to get her onboard until after a tie, so she can’t claim the move as her own. Sadly for him, however, Katurah went to Dee and suggested that she would love to get rid of Drew giving her yet another feather in her cap.

Dee then pulled Drew aside to talk about how cleanly the merge has gone for him, loving how closely he and Austin have worked together, looking towards greats like JT and Stephen, and Tyson and Gervase. As he hoped it would all stay together so they can make it to the end. Dee and Austin caught up by the shore, with Dee worried about whether she should loop him in on the blindside, given he could easily play his idol for Drew and pull off the move she did just last week. Leaving her to battle between her head and her heart.

At tribal council Austin spoke about how grateful he was to not get much blowback for picking Katurah to go on reward and leave the kids to babysit. Julie joked about her kids turning on her, while Katurah spoke about how well the tribe are compartmentalising given they like each other but are all fighting hard to win. Drew and Dee spoke about how the relationships are also making things more difficult, as everyone is also lying to each other. Drew meanwhile shared that if he makes it through tonight, he feels like he has a very clear path to the end. Which Julie pointed out was a blessing, given she can’t even see how she could possibly get to the four let alone three. Before Drew gave a lovely analogy about how difficult Julie’s path is to the end, while Julie made a plea for everyone to play smart. Talk turned to how people are now thinking about who they want to face at the end, with Dee admitting she has a plan but knows that it is unlikely for anyone to get the exact final three they’re hoping for.

With that the tribe voted, Austin played his idol for himself and his closest ally not called Dee, Drew found himself blindsided from the game. As Austin looked on at Dee, heartbroken. Before we could find out whether it was the end of my favourite lovers, I ventured to Ponderosa to try and cheer up Drew because he was, in a word, pissed. Super pissed. I tried to pull him in for a hug to assure him that going out just before the finale is generally better to being cut first in the finale, however given he was so confident in his path forward, he wasn’t having it. That is until he had a Drew Bastachio & Plum Danish or five.

The earthy pistachio and tart, juicy plums work perfectly to counteract the crisp, fresh pastry. Flavourful, decadent and melt in your mouth, these danishes have the power to turn around even the worst of moods.

Enjoy!

Drew Bastachio & Plum Danish
Serves: 4-8.

Ingredients
250g pistachios
250g unsalted butter, at room temperature
250g raw caster sugar
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 eggs
2 sheets good-quality butter puff pastry, quartered
8 davidson plums, pitted and sliced

Method
Preheat the oven to 200ºC. Pop the nuts on a baking tray and toast in the oven for 5-10 minutes. Remove from the oven and allow to cool (though leave the oven on).

Once the nuts have cooled a little, pop 200g of them in a food processor and blitz until they have formed a meal-like consistency and no further. Add the butter, sugar, vanilla and eggs and blitz until well combined.

To assemble, cut the squares of pastry into circles, spoon a dollop of the pistachio mixture in the middle and top with some plum, leaving a 2cm rim around the edge. Roughly chop the remaining nuts and sprinkle over the top. Pop in the oven and bake for twenty minutes, or until golden, puffed and crisp. Then, obviously, devour.


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The Girlfruitmince Piexperience

Baking, Canada's Drag Race 4, Canada’s Drag Race, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls went into marketing mode as they hosted their own little spots on QVShe. And let’s just say, it was freaking damn terrible. Like bomb after bomb, except for Venus in her skit and the duo of Kitten and Melinda. Who ironically were the ones everyone else avoided. Despite being a strong duo, it was ultimately Kitten that took out victory. After Brooke warned all the other dolls they were lucky they had to stop at the bottom three, she announced the new twist of the season, the Golden Beaver. Where the winning queen would be able to save one of the bottom three from lip syncing. With Kitten wielding her power to save The Girlfriend Experience. Leaving Luna to send Sisi home, giving the ultimate that’ll do.

Backstage Luna was shell shocked to have survived the lip sync, while Denim was already missing her Montreal sister. Vowing to win the whole competition in her honour. Aurora meanwhile was thrilled her Toronto sister had survived. Before Aimee decided it would be a wonderful idea to verbalise that she wasn’t vibing with Luna’s lip sync performance. Kitten meanwhile directed things to the big old twist, talking about the potential for alliances helping people make their way to the end. She explained to Luna that she didn’t save her as she just was closer to Girlfriend. While also hoping Girlfriend would return the favour in the future. Luna however did vow to return the favour, and suggested she would save only people that would benefit her making it further.

The next day Girlfriend was thrilled to not be a Porkchop – when it is clearly Juice Boxx – before Melinda led the girls in congratulating Kitten on her win. Again. Denim meanwhile wanted to find out how everyone else would vote with the power of the beaver, with Kiki wanting everyone to stick with the judges critiques. Nearah on the other hand wanted everyone to try their hardest to get rid of the threats. To help her get to the end.

Traci dropped by to put them through their paces in a press junket mini challenge. Complete with 20 minute quick drag. First up to promote The Godmotha 3 was Melinda who was so messy and patronising, and I loved it. Venus was obviously polished and demented, while The Girlfriend Experience just bomb, bomb, bombed again. While Kitten gave Liza, Aurora was shrill, Kiki was horny and Denim was detached. Obviously Melinda won, given she was the only one committing to a bit. And for winning, she was a team captain in this week’s girl groups maxi challenge. While Luna, as the survivor of the lip sync, was the other.

Melinda quickly jagged Kiki, Kitten, The Girlfriend Experience and Aimee for her band while Luna grabbed Venus, Aurora and Nearah, leaving Denim to round out group two. Giving us a battle of the oldies and the younguns. And given Denim was last to be picked, she got to select the songs, opting for Heartbeat, a love song. Giving the old gals Heartbreak. As is tradition, they would write lyrics and put together choreo and looks, all under the mentorship of pop star Rêve.

The dolls split up to figure out their genre and how best to serve their songs. The oldies locked on the band name Vixens, while the dolls went with Love Bugs. Before promptly pulling together an alliance. The bands started to listen to their songs and got to work on their lyrics, with Aurora dropping line after line, while at the other end of the pack, Girlfriend just struggled. 

The Love Bugs were first up to record with Rêve, with Denim slaying albeit a little slowly. Luna meanwhile was positively glacial, as poor Rêve desperately tried to get her to give even a hint of energy. Aurora meanwhile spit bars like it was nothing, Nearah went for some money notes before Venus, once again, was perfect and damn, am I stanning? They traded out with The Vixens with Melinda actually a diva, Kiki meanwhile struggled and got stuck in her head and Kitten gave old cabaret. Nothing more, nothing less. While Girlfriend slowly got more comfortable throughout the record, before Aimee gave sass in a Bebe Zahara kinda way. We ventured to the mainstage where The Love Bugs got to work on the choreography where Nearah and Aurora took control and absolutely slayed, while Denim struggled. When The Vixens hit the stage, Melinda took control and immediately got under everyone’s skin.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone splitting up to beat their mugs and get ready to slay the house down boots. Denim meanwhile opted to be shady, asking why she was picked last. While Aimee opened up about getting in her head about the fact she was singing in her second language, though she is super proud of herself. Nearah meanwhile opened up about her zaddy fiance, before Denim spoke about her husband and how thrilled it is to be with another trans man. Kitten meanwhile opened up about her boyfriend and how supportive she is of Kitten. Aimee spoke about getting divorced just before coming to the show and that she is ready to turn it out.

Brooke, Brad and Traci were joined by Rêve on the panel as The Vixens debuted their hit song Heartbreak and let’s just say, this was the Melinda Varga show and I 100% stan her. Kiki meanwhile couldn’t lip sync to her own lyrics, Girlfriend struggled with the choreography and Kitten was a little flat. Aimee meanwhile was a surprise, giving attitude and charm and ugh, I love to see it. When it came to The Love Bugs performance of Heartbeat, it was polished, cohesive and oh so stunning. The moves were camp and silly, yet still a little sickening. While Luna didn’t have the same energy as the rest of her sisters, it still kinda worked. Though maybe that is just because the others really got a star moment.

On the Sunglasses at Night runway Aurora was stunning in fiery red and black, all hanging from her shades. Luna gave ruffle pleather crow, Nearah gave purple hooded dame, Denim was bright, beaded and wearing all the sunnies while Venus gave terminator drag diva. Aimee was glorious in green and blue, like a denizen of Oz. Girlfriend gave full dominatrix, Melinda gave Madonna Frozen with face-shield glasses, Kitten gave goon sack daddy before Kiki closed the show looking perfect in a mariachi ghost demon look, complete with big ol’ bow.

Aimee, Kiki, Denim, Girlfriend, Kitten and Aurora were deemed the tops and bottoms, as the rest of the girls were dismissed backstage. Aurora received wall to wall praise for each and every thing she did this week, from the killer lyrics, the on point choreography and most importantly, giving the best runway of the night. Denim too was absolutely beloved while the judges lived for everything Aimee did this week, particularly since she woke up the song and finally had her breakthrough. Girlfriend meanwhile was praised for showing a little more of herself, particularly on the runway, however they clearly hated her performance during the song. Kitten was read for being a little bland and not being connected to the performance. And while Kiki’s runway was absolutely perfect, she was read for not giving enough in the challenge.

Aurora was deemed the winner of this week’s challenge and named the holder of The Golden Beaver, while Denim and Aimee were deemed safe. When they arrived backstage Melinda was busy talking about how gutted she was to see her bandmates make up the bottom. Aurora giddily shared that she took out the first win of the season, while everyone was shocked to hear Aimee was in the top. Talk turned to the power of the beaver, with Kiki disappointed that she isn’t giving the judges enough, assuring Aurora that if she is saved, she will bring the fire and make it worth it. Kitten meanwhile spoke about the judges thinking she was tired, while Girlfriend was disappointed to once again be read for being herself.

Ultimately Aurora opted to save Kiki, leaving Kitten and Girlfriend to battle for the last spot to Rêve’s Tongue. And while the song kinda felt like it would be up Girlfriend’s alley, Kitten was hungry for the win and absolutely demolished, giving camp, as she hit every lyric and used every inch of the floor. Which was enough to let her fight another day, as The Girlfriend Experience was sent out the door. As Girlfriend arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that she is talented and a star, and as such, she shouldn’t let a competition make her feel any less. Which cheered her up, a lot quicker than expected, and as such, we toasted her success with a fresh batch of The Girlfruitmince Piexperience.

I always hated fruit mince pies as a kid, as like Rachel Green making a trifle, I thought they used mince. But then I got a taste of Fruit Mince Pylie Jenner and it was the gateway to the majesty of the traditional kind. Rich, spiced and sweet, they are the perfect festive treat to get you to the end of the year.

Enjoy!

The Girlfruitmince Piexperience
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
225g cold butter, diced
350g flour
100g raw caster sugar
¼ tsp kosher salt
300g mincemeat
1 egg, beaten
raw sugar, to sprinkle

Method
Using your fingers, rub the butter into the flour until it resembles wet sand. Then mix in the caster sugar and salt, kneading with your hands until it just forms a ball. Form into a disc, wrap in cling and pop in the fridge to chill for an hour.

Heat the oven to 180C.

Remove the dough and roll out until it is 3mm thick. Cut into 5-10cm discs and place half into mini pie pans. Spoon in some mincemeat, store bought is fine. Top with the other discs, pressing the edges to seal. Brush the tops with egg and sprinkle with the raw sugar before slicing a small vent in the top of each.

Pop the pies in the oven and bake for 20 minutes or so, or until golden. Remove to cool in the tin for 5 minutes before popping out and placing on a wire rack to cool completely. Or devouring, no judgement.


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Apple & Almond Cinnamoon Bun

Baking, Dessert, Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France the dolls got into the dirtiest of quick drags before popping the hands in jars of, well, dirty stuff, to find keys. After using the keys to unlock the Pit Crew’s package, Keiona took out victory which gave her the power to cast this week’s maxi challenge, the rusical – Le Bossu de Notre Drag. Despite being filled with an overwhelming sense of dread after another stellar performance, Keiona finally took out her first, very well deserved win of the season. At the other end of the strong pack, Ginger and Punani landed in the bottom. And after spending Untucked fighting with Cookie, rather than practising, Ginger found herself booted while sweet Punani lived to fight another day.

Backstage the dolls farewelled their fallen sister, though were more focused on how disappointed they were that she had left the competition angry. Cookie obviously felt very emotional, given they are friends and just wished they could have talked in the moment rather than her holding it in until Untucked. Things got more positive as they turned their attention to Keiona finally getting her win and well, like her, I am feeling it and look forward to her getting many more. While Punani was just feeling energised after being in the bottom and ready to dominate the rest of the season. And since I love her, I support it.

The next day the dolls rolled in in a mime car and spoke about their track records, with Cookie and Moon ready to ride their upward momentum to a victory. Forgetting that I am already busy willing Keiona to another, but I digress. After a signature cocorico, Nicky dropped by to put the dolls through their paces in a live lip sync mini challenge. Featuring Bilal on the mic, while they would be rocking their best 15 minute quick drag. And while it was wild and confusing, Keiona and Cookie slayed it all, Punani was a silly delight, Sara was demented, Moon was smutty, Mami lost her wig and well, it was fun but I’m not sure what exactly the criteria was. Though Punani won, so I am happy.

And with it, came a minor advantage in this week’s maxi challenge, the Time Ball. Category One would see them design an outfit in honour of their heroines, the second would serve futuristic chic while the third would see them design an outfit for prom out of items from a child’s bedroom. With the aforementioned advantage being an extra 10s to loot items before the other dolls joined the brawl. And while she grabbed a tonne in that time, it didn’t stop things from quickly dissolving into chaos as the rest snatched anything in sight.

Nicky and the Pit Crew departed as the dolls split up to go through their hauls with Punani just vibing, Keiona thrilled to go fully fluffy while Sara luxuriated on her mattress. Thankfully Nicky made a speedy return to check in on her girls, with Keiona sharing her plans for a stunning gown, while Nicky was concerned about her fabric. Punani on the other hand was worried she would be a failure, Sara was going to literally have a mattress on her back, Cookie was confident while Moon was trying to bring euphoria after the dysphoria she experienced during the previous challenge. Oh and Mami was planning to bring full glamour. After Nicky left, Keiona and Mami started a conversation about how we as queer people often live in fear of violence. And the fact they all had a personal experience shows just how prevalent it is.

We immediately arrived at the ball where Nicky, Daphne and Kiddy were joined on the panel by Christian Louboutin and Léna Situations. Punani opened the Héroïne du passé category  in honour of her grandmother as a pink and green beauty queen and well, it was a slay. Mami also slayed in a suit in honour of Grace Jones and ugh, it looked GOOD. Moon slayed as a gypsy queen, Sara gave sexy writer realness, Cookie was polished as her flamenco dancer grandmother, before Keiona slayed as a stunning Josephone Baker, complete with a little strip moment.

On the Futuristic Chic runway, Punani served as a cyborg CEO, complete with QR codes to her own instagram filter. Mami gave bridal, floral robot, Moon gave future rocker, Sara gave glamour toad from Super Mario, Cookie was a shiny, sparkling fighter and Keiona slayed in a yellow gown with the world’s longest ponytail. When it came to their Reine du bal looks, Punani gave a pastel patchworked dream, Mami too was patchworked, though rocked it in blue and with a train. Moon meanwhile meant from gloom to glam with her yellow gown, Sara was a neon, colour blocked, well, something. Before Cookie slayed as a punk rocker in all the right ways before Keiona slayed her third of three looks, giving anime and shimmering in silver.

Punani was praised for showing all the versatility across her three looks, as did Mami, though mainly for slaying her made look. Moon was beloved for living everything she sold on the runway. Sara’s first two looks were beloved, though they hated the look she whipped up. Cookie meanwhile got us back to wall to wall praise as did Keiona, but honestly, are we even surprised by that at this point?

Before sending the dolls to untuck, Nicky asked them who they would send home, with everyone clearly wanting to make the most of Sara’s run at the bottom, and singling her out in front of the judges. Backstage she was pressed to be the one the dolls wanted to go, until Moon started to break down about being in the bottom and having to lip sync against her bestie Sara. She tried to hold back tears as she realised that she could not possibly stay any longer; emotional and spent, she just wanted to go home and look after her mental health. Which is oh, so valid.

After praising all the dolls for slaying the ball, Nicky announced that both Keiona and Cookie took out the win. With both scoring a pair of Louboutins. Mami and Punani were then sent to safety before Moon stepped forward to announce that there would be no need for the lip sync as instead, she would like to go home. And ugh, it was heartbreaking to see her go, but empowering to see her make the choice to look after herself. Unlike Down Under, however, the top five lip synced after giving Moon a standing ovation as she made her way out the door.

As she arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and thanked her for not just slaying the competition, but doing it with so much heart. And while I was sad we wouldn’t get to watch her slay any further, I was happy to know she was listening to herself and knew when to prioritise her health. And that is truly iconic. Iconic and more than deserving of a piping hot Apple & Almond Cinnamoon Bun.

How do you improve upon the majesty of a cinnamon bun? Add apples and almonds, of course! Gloriously sweet, with a subtle nuttiness, this fluffy little buns will have you comes back for more and more and more.

Enjoy!

Apple & Almond Cinnamoon Bun
Serves: 8-12.

Ingredients
325g unsalted butter, chopped
2 cups milk
7g sachet active dry yeast
150g raw caster sugar
1 tsp kosher salt
1 tsp almond essence
6 cups flour
2 tbsp ground cinnamon, plus extra to sprinkle
2 granny smith apples, grated
½ cup flaked almonds
2 eggs
raw sugar, to sprinkle

Method
Melt 175g of the butter in a saucepan over low heat before removing from the heat, and stirring in the milk and leaving to cool to just under 40°C. Stir in the yeast, half the sugar, the salt and almond essence, and leave to foam for about five minutes.

Transfer the liquid to a large bowl of an electric mixer and slowly add the flour, stirring by hand with the dough hook. When it is starting to come together, attach the dough hook and turn the mixer on medium speed until smooth, a couple of minutes.

Remove the dough to an oiled (second) large bowl, cover with a tea towel and leave to prove until doubled in size, or about an hour and a half.

Preheat the oven to 225°C.

While the dough is proving and the oven is heating, mash the remaining butter in a bowl and mix  with the remaining sugar, cinnamon, apple and flaked almonds until smooth.

Once the dough is ready, knock it back, turn it out onto a floured bench and roll it out until it is a large ½cm rectangle. Smear the apple, cinnamon and almond butter very liberally over the top and roll the dough lengthways to form a long cylinder.

Slice the cinnamon, doughy sausage in half, half again … and half again, and half again (or just evenly, depending on how tall you want them to be) until you reach the magic number – I prefer mine to be fat, so cut the 8 into 3 to make 24.

Place each disc in a square of baking parchment and leave them to sit, a couple of centimetres apart on baking sheets. When they are all lined up, cover with a tea towel and allow to prove a further 30 minutes.

When they are ready to roll – pun obviously intended – whisk the eggs and brush the buns before coating liberally with sugar.

Bake for 10-15 minutes or until golden and glorious. Then devour, like a sweet, iconic, boss.


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Kitty Spiced Apple Biscuits

Baking, Dessert, Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Snack, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race France the dolls threw a little talent show and to up the tension, Nicky brought back their Season 1 sisters to act as an audience. Driven to prove they were well and truly an upgrade, the dolls knocked it out of the park as each and every one served something fun. Keiona slayed as she brought Ballroom to the stage, while Piche had an absolute star moment as she sang, rapped and showed off all her talent. Even the poor dolls that landed in the bottom were delightful, with Vespi(‘s outfit) completely falling apart while Cookie Kunty had puppets. And we know everyone loves those. When they lip synced, though, Cookie was able to redeem herself as she came out victorious and sent sweet Vespi out of the competition.

Backstage Punani was once again in her feelings after losing another sister, while Cookie was living with a serious case of survivor’s guilt. Despite being heartbroken herself, Piche assured Cookie that she slayed and deserved to stay and as such, not to feel any guilt about brutally kicking her bestie out. As Piche spoke about her bond with Vespi however, she started to break down in tears and while she seemed sad to her sisters, in confessional, she was more fired up in confessional, vowing to win the crown for her and Vespi.

The next day the dolls were channelling Jaws – inaudibly, according to subtitles – before Nicky arrived (post cocorico, obvi) to open the library. Officially. After ouverture de la bibliothèque courtesy of the zaddy Pit Crew, Ginger was brutal, Piche was charmingly mean, Moon slayed from start to finish and Punani was adorably fun. Sara Forever once again proved to be strong before we finally had a couple of weaker turns in the form of Kitty and Mami before Keiona warmed things back up calling Sara Trinity the Tuck and Cookie closed the show with a brutal read of Mami being the before photo to Keiona’s after. 

Ultimately though it was Piche that took out victory. But on to the maxi challenge where the dolls would be starring in a parody morning show, just like UK 2. And for winning the mini challenge, Piche also won the power to assign the parts. After Nicky departed, the dolls sat down to fight for the roles, until Piche sadly (for us) requested decorum, so instead everyone calmly listed what they’d be willing to play before Piche made her decisions. Mami got the sports role, Sara was doing interviews, Kitty was doing infomercials, Ginger and Cookie were cooking off, Moon took weather, Keiona was on astrology while Piche would act as an anchor alongside Punani.

The cast pivoted directly to set to record their scene with Nicky and Daphne where Piche and Punani were fun, Moon was completely demented in ALL the right ways and Sara once again was a polished, horny and hilarious star. Kitty meanwhile was doing both too much and nowhere near enough before Keiona once again knocked it out of the park, despite what Nicky’s feedback would have you believe. Mami was living out my dream with her sexy work out with the Pit Crew, while Cookie and Ginger literally ate onion and vinegar.

The dolls pivoted backstage to prepare for the runway bonding over their childhood passions for dabbling in drag. Keiona opened up about gender fluidity which led to Moon talking about how drag helped her come to terms with her trans identity and her struggles getting to the point of acceptance. Thankfully everyone rallied around her as she broke down in tears and as it generally does, admitted that things got better for her and as such, she was thrilled to be able to live her truth. Mami then opened up about how she feels she is a trans woman however will never be able to confirm her identity out of the fear it would kill her parents. And hearing the dolls rally around her too and Moon telling her that that is not a reason to live a lie was important and please Mami, live your truth.

Nicky and Daphne – where is Kiddy?! – were joined by Rossy De Palma and Loic Prigent as Cookie Kunty kicked off the La Nuit des 1000 Dalida looking a ‘50s playboy showgirl, Keiona served full bridal goddess, Sara gave red, white and fringed – and looked perfect – while Kitty did the weaker, limp version of Cookie’s look. Punani gave runway, alien, Grace Jones, Ginger gave grecian bust, Piche was a shimmering space delight before revealing a perfect belly dancer look, Moon gave lady of the house at a ball before Mami served full blown white showgirl. And looked stunning. 

When it came to the acting challenge, Punani and Piche were delightfully demented anchors, Sara was even hornier in her interview with Daphne, and the scene was all the better for it. Moon was pitch perfect and bonkers in every moment before Mami brought the Pit Crew out with her, so obviously, it was a win. Keiona was charming and silly, Kitty was cute while Cookie and Ginger appeared to be in completely different skits, despite starring as a pair.

Piche was called forward and grilled by the judges for not being across the material, though was ultimately sent to safety alongside Punani and Moon. Cookie was praised for giving the stronger of the outfits though read for not giving enough in the challenge, ultimately allowing Ginger to star. Keiona was once again beloved for her perfect outfit and slaying something out of her comfort zone. Sara was even more beloved for essentially going from strength to strength. While they loved Kitty’s runway, they hated her performance and wished she could do well, despite not being happy with the role. Ginger’s runway and silliness in the performance received all the praise before Mami was praised for being stunning on the runway – despite some dodgy hems – though read for not taking her workout further.

Backstage the dolls were gagged about Piche’s solo call out and how terrifying it was, while Moon just wanted a little feedback after a run of safes. The tops and bottoms soon joined with Kitty completely aware she’d be lip syncing, while Cookie and Mami were battling it out for the final slot in the bottom. 

Ultimately Sara took out yet another victory before Ginger and Keiona were sent to safety. In a repeat of last week, Mami narrowly avoided the bottom as Kitty joined Cookie in the bottom. When Dalida’s Monday, Tuesday… Laissez-moi danser kicked off, the dolls were well and truly in their elements – and TBH, perfectly dressed in their matching looks – feeling the lyrics and giving full disco diva. Though Cookie obviously slayed, feeling her oats and knocking it out of the park, tragically eliminating Kitty Space in the process.

As poor Kitty arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and congratulated her on her run and assured her that despite an early exit, she should still be proud of what she brought to the competition and was able to share. And despite it being a pretty ordinary pep talk, it appeared to do the trick as we turned our attention to kiki-ing and smashing a big batch of Kitty Spiced Apple Biscuits.

These glorious little biscuits come courtesy of the Rice Bubbles box and while I know recipes on the side of packets can be hit and miss, I assure you they are delicious. And the perfect little spicy treat for Christmas in July, TBH.

Enjoy!

Kitty Spiced Apple Biscuits
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 ¼ cups muscovado sugar
⅓ cup butter
¼ cup apple puree
¼ cup honey
2 eggs
3 cups rice bubbles, blitzed in a blender
2 ½ cups flour
1 ½ tbsp baking powder
1 tsp ground ginger
2 tsp ground cinnamon
¼ tsp ground clove

Method
Preheat the oven to 180°C.

Using a stand mixer, cream the muscovado sugar and butter until light and fluffy. Reduce to low speed and add in the apple puree, honey and egg whites. Remove from the mixer and fold through the rice bubble powder, flour, baking powder and spices until a dough forms.

Roll tablespoons of the dough into balls and place them on lined baking sheets, leaving a little space for them to spread, pressing down each with a fork to flatten slightly. Transfer to the oven to bake for about 10 minutes, or until golden and brown. Remove from the oven and allow to cool on wire racks before devouring. With glee, even if they fall apart.


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Apple and Rosemary Cake

Baking, Cake, Dessert, Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France ten queens arrived ready to dazzle and delight Ru’s iconic smoking baby Nicky Doll. And dazzled they did, with wit, charm, skin and cocoricos on the reg, that by the end of the season I may not have understood everything they said, but I had a thorough understanding of the love I felt for them. Honestly, I would have been happy with any of the top five taking out the crown and while Soa was my clear favourite, there is no denying that Paloma demolished the competition and well and truly deserved her crown. And how sweet of her to return to the Werk Room to leave the dolls a little welcome mirror message to commence handing over the crown!

Speaking of the new dolls, first we met Mami Watta with all the abs, looking fresh off a snowy beach holiday and I love everything about her vibe. And by vibe, passion for serving body. She was joined by Sara Forever rocking a pink cowbell and well, it is absurd and I love her and her rocker energy. And the fact her neck line served vulva. As they kikied about being a star, Ginger Bitch arrived serving old Kam Hugh and I live for every moment of it. Next in was Moon serving witchy realness in chartreuse and well, I love the oooky, kooky spookiness. And her horniness for Mami. Kitty Space joined the fray serving both of those things, and was oh so expensive. 

Bearded zaddy Piche was next through the door – eventually – serving architectural avant garde and well, he is a zaddy, so you know I’mma stan. Rose soon followed dressed, as you would expect, as a Rose, giving big Joe Black energy and immediately snatching my heart. Cookie Kunty was next through the door giving big French Jennifer Tilly energy and again, I stan. All my former shower puffs arrived with Vespi who revealed herself to be a star covered disco diva and I love her Courtney Act energy. We were then graced with the presence of the one and only Keiona Revlon, ballroom legend and like Sasha and Jimbo before her, crown her now. We then got an extra, eleventh contestant, in the form of Rose’s performance partner Punani who gave Vivian Vanderpuss energy in green and while I love to see it, I hate that one of them will get the Sugar treatment.

As they debated whether this was the full cast or whether there would be a dozen of them, Nicky dropped by to welcome her daughters and confirm that yes, the 11 of them were the full cast. And to celebrate, they’d immediately be facing a little photoshoot mini challenge! With the zaddy pit crew and their skimpy panties for back-up, obviously. La premier reina to the floral swing photoshoot was Rose who looked right at home in the garden, until the fans kicked off and blew her around. Kitty Space fell off the swing, but got the shot, Vespi didn’t sweat, Moon was caught mid-choke and Sara gave full crotch. Piche hilariously could barely fit her gown in the chair, though looked great while Mami struggled to land the swing on entry. Cookie was unfazed while Keiona gave nothing but glamour, Ginger on the other hand was right at home while Punani lived for a rough ride and then hilariously botched the landing. Which was all it took to snatch the win, as she deserved. 

Nicky then announced that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be writing verses and recording the anthem of Drag Race France, We Are Legendaire. And then performing it live on the mainstage as a single group. As the dolls split up to unpack and de-drag, they finally discovered Paloma’’s message and while they felt it was sweet, immediately rubbed it off and moved right along. As they de-dragged, Moon quickly took the chance to let her sisters know that she is a trans woman and as such, her pronouns are she all the time. And it was so sweet as she admitted she already felt so much love from them and as such, felt it was ok to confide in them now rather than waiting. The dolls moved on to how excited they all were to make the cast, with Sara admitting she is using the show as a tool to come out as a drag queen to her mother. Ginger meanwhile spoke about her dad calling her after watching the first season and how much he loved it and ugh, I love it all.

After the getting to know you was done the dolls sat down to listen to their song and work through lyrics before Nicky dropped by to offer some support from Chris. And while Sara was confident in her operatic chops, not everyone was as thrilled, though felt better when Chris just told them to find their niche and stick to it. With that they pivoted to the mainstage to learn their choreography with Claude Carmier. Well, after a little solo dance break where Rose was hilariously awkward, Sara dropped into a split, Moon was sultry and Keiona gave 10s, 10s, 10s across the board. In any event, despite breezing through the rehearsal, it was clear Piche, Moon, Mami and Keiona were far and away the strongest while poor Rose was just not compatible with dancing.

Forgoing any elimination day fun, Nicky, Kiddy and Daphne were joined on the panel by Chris and Nicolas Sirkis as the dolls stomped the floor to debut We Are Legendaires. And it was a bop. Keiona, Mami, Moon, Piche and Punani owned the show while poor Kitty, Rose and Ginger just kinda got eaten up by the rest of the dolls. On the Super Drag runway, Kitty Space looked like an exploded Tina Burner in all the right ways. Ginger served truth and justice which is topical, given I am currently on jury duty like a judicial icon. Punani was stunning in a glam gown of scraps, Mami gave Woman King warrior realness, Moon was ravishing in red while Cookie served neon blow-out realness and Rose gave camp comedy perfection. Piche was fucking stunning and oh so hot in a gorgeous suit and while I have no idea what is happening, I stan and love her. Sara then gave supergrills, Vespi served wasp before Keiona closed the show giving metallic vogue hero.

Mami, Moon, Vespi, Piche and Cookie were sent to safety before the judges praised Kitty for the stunning runway, though read her for fading into the background in the performance. Ginger’s look was beloved though she was read for not giving enough energy in the performance. Punani was beloved for her Bowie vibes in the performance and for being a thrifty zaddy on the runway. Rose meanwhile was read for stopping lip syncing throughout the performance despite loving the energy she brought to the runway. Sara’s polish and energy were beloved, as was the creativity and uniqueness she brought to everything. And then Keiona, obviously, received wall to wall praise because she is a star.

Backstage the safe dolls were giddily kikiing about living to see another week before the tops and bottoms joined the party. Rose opened up about clearly being in the lip sync though vowed to fight. As did Kitty, who felt it would definitely be her in the bottom rather than Ginger. Punani meanwhile was just nervous to lose her sister so soon and to be left all alone.

After speeding out of Untucked, Punani and Keiona were ultimately sent to safety as Sara took out the first win of the season, before Ginger joined them at the back of the stage as Kitty Space and Rose took their places for the lip sync. And unlike last season, we actually got the music as 3Sex by Indochine et Chris kicked off. And while Kitty gave all the comedy, it kinda fell off for the song and while Rose’s emotive take felt right, Nicky and the judges appeared to disagree as Rose was sent out of the competition to become the La Kahena of the season. Breaking mine and Punani’s hearts in the process.

She found me backstage in the Werk Room by following the wailing sounds of my cries. Sweet Rose had so much more to give – and is a total zaddy, but I digress – so I was heartbroken to see her go so soon. As I do with all first boots, I reminded her that the first boot is always more memorable than most of the other dolls and while she literally just reminded us of that in her exit, she seemed to appreciate it coming from a third part. Though maybe she was just excited to eat away her feelings with a thick slice of Apple and Rosemary Cake.

This tweaked version of a delicious Nigella number may sound like an odd combination, but everything about it is pitch perfect. Sweet, earthy and tart in all the right places, it is the perfect snack to get you through the day.

Enjoy!

Apple and Rosemary Cake
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
1 granny smith apple, peeled, cored and roughly chopped
2 sprigs fresh rosemary
½ lemon, zested and juiced
170g raw caster sugar
230g butter
3 eggs
300g flour
2 tsp baking powder

Method
Combine the apple, half the rosemary, the zest and juice of the lemon and a teaspoon of both the sugar and butter in a skillet and cook on a low heat for 5-10 minutes, or until the apple is soft. Leave to cool and remove the rosemary.

Preheat the oven to 160C.

In a food processor, blitz the apple, remaining butter, 150g sugar, eggs, flour and baking powder to form a smooth batter. Transfer to a lined loaf tin, smooth the top, sprinkle with the remaining sugar and lay the remaining sprig of rosemary down the middle. Pop it in the oven to bake for 45 minutes, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean. Transfer to cool on a wire rack for about ten minutes before turning out the cake. And slicing and devouring.


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