Chilli Flakes

Hollymajoun Star

Main, Pizza, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 3, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under the dolls competed in a Drag Brunch Talent Show, which almost felt like the producers had another episode planned which got asked at the last minute and the two challenges were combined. But I digress. Flor was iconic from start to finish as she did a sexy CPR tutorial, Hollywould sang, Bumpa had no jokes, Gabriella was wacky with nothing but hula hoops while Isis was emotive and beautiful. And far and away won the challenge. At the other end of the pack, Hollywould was cautioned to open up before rightly being sent to safety, leaving Italy’s own Gabriella to tragically send Aunt Bumpa home.

Backstage Gabriella was feeling it after the lip sync, glad to have survived though heartbroken she took Bumpa’s chance in the process. The dolls thankfully praised Bumpa for being a damn icon before heading over to the couches to sit down and have a kiki. Isis was thrilled to jag her second win before speculating just who would be the one to miss out on a spot in the finale, telling Flor she is most likely to go given she is winless. While Hollywould speculated to us that it would be more likely Gabriella was going home, given Flor is at least consistent. 

The next day the doll’s were overjoyed to have made it to the top four, though Flor in particular was still just desperate to jag a win. They spoke about whether they had predicted that this would be the top four when they arrived, with Hollywould scalping Gabriella by saying she expected everyone but her to get to the end. Talk turned to Hollywould and Ru’s interaction on the mainstage with Flor, who speaks English as a second language, once again explaining that Ru meant she just wanted her to open up to the judges like she does to them, given she is so charming and lovely backstage.

Right on cue Ru dropped by and immediately warmed my cold heart by wheeling out four dogs and their owners. Who would become the newest members of the dolls’ drag families. Humans and dogs. As the winner of the previous challenge, Isis was able to pair everyone up, so jagged the skinny girl for herself, Gabriella got the zaddy, Hollywould got the alternative doll while Flor got the sweet, shorter lady.

The dolls pulled their human and dog aside for a get to know you session, with Isis’ dog instantly bonding with her while we learnt her human was queer. So yeah, slay. Arlene, doggy Ru and Hollywould were vibing hard, talking about the heaviness of mental health and how the love of dogs can help and ugh, I am in tears already. Flor meanwhile wasn’t winning over Burrito, while she and Grace did become the fastest of friends. Gabriella’s human meanwhile can sit on my face, though he and Billy are also icons and I only want good things for them.

Oh and then Gabriella wisely shared that her cat pissed in her drag bag once, which adds nothing, but is very important to me.

Ru made her ruturn to kiki with Hollywould and Arlene looking on as Ru and dog-Ru just vibed like the bestest of friends. Oh and then Ru confronted Hollywould about lying about her age which was honestly, iconic. Taina opened up about how much her brother loved drag growing up, before Isis gushed about how comfortable she was becoming in the race. Flor, Grace and Burrito meanwhile were charming and had Ru in absolute hysterics and ugh, I love it. Aaron, meanwhile, had Ru dripping, which, relatable. Before she challenged Gabriella to show more facets of herself and just feel everything, rather than overthinking things. 

After Ru left, Gabriella smartly focused on slutting Aaron up while Isis and Taina were having D&Ms about life and becoming the firmest friends and well, they are winning the challenge, right?

Flor, Grace and Burrito were first up to rehearse on the mainstage and while Flor was desperate to form a bond with Burrito for the gags, she was having none of it and TBH, I love it. Isis, Taina and Blue meanwhile were absolutely iconic before Hollywould and Dog Ru were energetic and iconic. The latter potentially a little too much. While Gabriella was focused on getting Billy off lead, like a seasoned performer.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls kiking about how tired they are after staying up all night getting things ready. The dogs and their humans returned with Aaron unveiling her lack of moustache, arm and chest hair. They split up to get prepped with Isis and Taina giggling, Flor trying to get Grace in the zone while Gabriella was opening up to Aaron about her lack of confidence in her body and that she wants to leverage his sexiness to help her serve something different. Because dammit, Gabriella knows she is worth it and ready to do the thing, Angela Bassett style. Flor and Grace meanwhile were bonding over their husbands and ugh, give them the win too as I love it all.

Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined on the panel by zaddy Josh Cavallo as the Haus of Hollywould kicked off The Drag Family Resemblance: Doggy Style runway serving old Hollywood glamour, flowing in beads and satin. Ivis Avis, Venus Tina and Neptune Loren shimmered in glorious white gowns, complete with Neptune serving tricks and being a complete star. Flor and Rosa allowed Burrito Bouquet to make a glamorous entrance, with all of them looking expensive and beautiful. While Gabriella, Isabella and B’Leaning Tower of Pisa served stunts and tricks, giving sexy, slutty Flintstones and ugh, I love it too.

Hollywould was praised for looking glam, despite a complete lack of family resemblance. While Rhys was more thrilled to see Hollywould having fun and living it up. Isis deservedly received universal praise, for giving killer looks, serving family resemblance and all around charming the judges. Flor too received nothing but love, particularly since she far and away gave the best doggy outfit. And after Grace thanked RuPaul for creating the show, I am confident Flor may just get her first victory! While Gabriella’s concept won over the judges, they wished there was more family resemblance. And more importantly, they loved how well behaved 10 month old Billy is. Oh and then Gabriella explained she didn’t give camp because she wants to show them she believes she can truly be sexy.

Backstage Hollywould was ready to lip sync if needed, on her way to the crown, while Gabriella was disappointed Michelle didn’t live for her concept. Isis on the other hand wasn’t sure who would take out another win, given she and Flor both got glowing critiques. 

Ultimately both of them took out victory and found themselves the first two members of the top three, while Hollywould and Gabriella had to battle for the last spot. And damn, they were hun-gry. As Not About You by Haiku Hands kicked off, both of the dolls had all the energy, hit every lyric and served moves, but there was something about Gabriella you couldn’t take your eyes off and it was that extra something that sent her through to the finale and Hollywould home in fourth place.

While I am thrilled for each and every member of the top three, I do think Hollywould deserved to be there alongside them and as such, broke down in tears of shattering disappointment. Hollywould being sweet, followed me sorrowful weeping and pulled me in for a massive hug backstage. And like an icon, flipped the script, assuring me that she will be the first Down Under girl to win and All Stars season and as such, no more tears would be cried. So I followed her lead, dried my eyes, got to brainstorming ideas to get her to the top on her second round and, most importantly, whipped up a piping hot Hollymajoun Star.

This glorious little number is Antoni’s – my beautiful ex – take on a lahmajoun, with a few tweaks here and there for taste. Earthy and rich, yet fresh and zingy, it is a quick easy meal that you’ll come back to time and time again.

Enjoy!

Hollymajoun Star
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 green capsicum, diced
1 onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
⅓ cup flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped
¼ cup mint, roughly chopped
500g lamb mince
2 tsp tomato paste
1 tsp chilli flakes
¼ tsp ground allspice
¾ tsp kosher salt
¼ tsp black pepper
6 Pita Andre Breads
1 tomato, diced
¾ cup natural yoghurt
⅓ cup black olives, sliced

Method
Preheat the oven to 190C.

Blitz the capsicum, onion, garlic, parsley and mint in a food processor until finely chopped. Add the lamb, tomato paste, chilli, allspice, salt and pepper and blitz until well combined.

Pop the pitas on a pair of lined baking sheets and divide the meat between them, flattening out to form a flat disc on top. Transfer to the oven and bake for 10-15 minutes, or until golden and brown.

Remove from the oven and dab away some of the excess fat with a paper towel before serving piping hot, with a sprinkle of tomato, dollop of yoghurt and a smattering of black olives. And then devouring, like a boss.


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Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath

Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Main, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France the remaining dolls were well and truly challenged as Nicky challenged them to throw a little Time Ball. Despite it being one of the more notoriously difficult challenges of the franchise, every single one of them slayed. Nicky decided to get a little shady and asked everyone to name who they think should go home, with the dolls gagging her by agreeing on frontrunner Sara for her single dud look. Not surprisingly, Keoina slayed and snagged her second win with the next gag of the episode being that she wasn’t alone, as Cookie (rightfully) joined her in victory. Moon meanwhile landed in the bottom alongside Sara, however Moon saved the biggest gag for last as she opted to exit the contest before the lip sync.

After Moon’s exit, the dolls returned backstage to talk through how sad they were to see her go, though grateful she put her mental health first. Sara meanwhile was conflicted, feeling a little guilty to have survived without a fight and feeling like she owed her place to Moon.

Things were far more upbeat the next day as the dolls giddily welcomed themselves back for another week. Well, until the cocorico struck and officially welcomed them, that is. Nicky stomped the stairs before ominously mentioning a twist before promptly pulling out the puppets for a cute little mini challenge. Why? Because everybody loves puppets! Duh. Keiona got to read Mami, Punani pulled out Keiona, Sara got Punani and Mami got Cookie, leaving Cookie with Sara. After beating their puppets to varying degrees of success, Keiona was adorbs as she bombed and Cookie served a slutty Sara before Punani arrived and finally bought comedy, as she expertly read Keiona. Sara read Punani for filth and was oh so good, while Mami closed the show brutally reading Cookie. And it was perfect.

Which was all it took to hand her victory.

Before departing, Nicky announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be forming a girl group and performing live to Nicky’s original song. Oh and they were not the only band, as Ginger, Piche, Kitty, Vespi and Rose would be returning to compete for the right to return to the competition. Yep, we have a girl group returning challenge on our hands, All Stars 3 style! The best of the eliminated girls would lip sync against the worst of the top five, with the winner staying in the contest and the loser going home. So either keeping their place in the competition, or stealing a spot back in the new top five.

The OG top five sat down to work through the song and brainstorm choreography as the eliminated queens remained backstage as an ominous spectre over the episode, which TBH, feels like a missed opportunity. Knowing they would be facing a fiery fivetet, Keiona opted to take the lead of the group, working through the choreography and cataloguing the skills of the eliminated queens they were about to battle. They pivoted to the mainstage to properly work on the choreography and damn, the dolls were cohesive, on point and well, I feel sorry for the eliminated queens. Speaking of which, they snuck onto the stage to work through their choreography and catch up with the current top five. 

As the eliminated queens worked through their own choreo – with Piche showing the top of her thong, swoon – the top five ventured backstage to beat their mugs and reflect on the competition thus far and kiki about how close they have gotten. Talk turned to their respective profiles and how they’ve had to adapt their work the more famous they have gotten. They then spoke about the different spaces they work within and how people – particularly in America – have a misconception of how sexualised drag is and well, it is not the case and people just need to fuck right off. My words, not theirs.

Nicky, Daphne and Kiddy were joined by Victor Weinsanto and Virginie Despentes as the eliminated queens stomped the stage for their performance and well, let’s just say Piche was Piche perfect from start to finish. She had all the energy and lines, pulling focus through every single solo and well, it was not even close. The top five meanwhile were a little more even as everyone came to fight, dancing in complete synchronicity and all around proving just why they made the top five in the first place.

On the Brillex pour nous runway Keiona slayed as she vogued down the runway in a gorgeous blue and gold sequined jumpsuit, giving Cleopatra of the ballroom. Mami gave shimmering face, nips and corset, Cookie gave sparkly nude illusion and well, it was kind of a mess, Sara meanwhile brought the drama in a full length black sequin gown with reversible sequin embellishment like the kids Ts at H&M and yeah, it was a slay. Despite the fucking H&M reference. While Punani shone head to toe as a straight up cartoon character.

Keiona, as usual, received universal praise for being a killer performer and slaying the hell out of the runway. Despite the fact the judges felt she brought herself down to her sisters level when it came to the choreography. Mami was beloved for her magnetism in the challenge and for making the runway work. Cookie meanwhile was read for being the weakest of the dolls in the performance, though they loved her camp runway. Sara meanwhile received universal praise for dominating the performance and giving all the drama on the runway. While Punani received top marks for giving comedy in the performance and serving a very creative runway.

Backstage the dolls toasted making it to the first go at the top five, with everyone agreeing how strong they performed and how nice it was to work together as one in the challenge. Talk turned to their competition with everyone agreeing Piche was far and away the star on that team. Cookie meanwhile felt she would be the one lip syncing tonight, though assured us and her sisters that she has fared well thus far and as such, has no fear about saving herself. Again.

Ultimately Sara took out her third win of the season, booking her spot in the semi finals alongside Keiona, Punani and Mami, leaving Cookie to battle for the final spot alongside Piche. Because duh. As soon as Et alors! by Shy’m kicked off, Piche kept the fire from the performance, stomping the floor and killing every damn moment; voguing and flipping, fierce and funny, she gave everything and rightly earned her place back in the competition as a sweet and gracious Cookie exited stage left.

Given Cookie left with such grace and humility, I was at a bit of a loss for words backstage, given I regularly have to remind them how good they are and that winning isn’t everything. While the latter is a lie (it is), the first is always true, but thankfully, given Cookie is such a damn star, she never lost sight of that. So all I had to do was give her a big hug, congratulate her on a stellar run and career, and toast it off with a Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath.

You thought we were going to go with a cookie, didn’t you? Nope! When it looks like we’re going to zig, sometimes, we zag even if it needs to be shoehorned a little. But when it tastes as good as this – sweet, rich and a little camp – who cares what it’s called. Something, something rose by any other name, and all that.

Enjoy!

Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
800g butternut pumpkin, deseeded and cut into a 3cm dice
salt and pepper, to taste
1 onion, sliced
500g chicken breast, diced
300g ricotta
1 cup fresh basil and parsley leaves, roughly chopped
¼ cup pine nuts, toasted
¼ cup parmesan cheese, grated
1 lemon, zested
4 garlic cloves, crushed
1 tsp chilli flakes
½ cup sundried tomatoes, drained and cut into strips
1 egg, whisked
2 sheets puff pastry, just thawed
2 tbsp mixed sesame seeds, to sprinkle

Method
Preheat the oven to 190C and line a large baking tray with baking paper. Toss the pumpkin in half the oil, season with a good whack of salt and pepper and bake for 30 minutes or until golden and tender. Transfer to a plate lined with a paper towel and leave to drain.

Heat the rest of the olive oil in a large frying pan over medium heat and sweat the onion for a couple of minutes. Add the chicken breast and cook for about ten minutes, or until the chicken is cooked through. Drain off all the excess fat and leave to cool.

Combine the ricotta, herbs, pine nuts, lemon zest, garlic, chilli and sundried tomatoes in a bowl. Stir and fold through the pumpkin, chicken and onion with a good whack of salt and pepper.

To assemble, place the pastry on the bench and cut in half. Press three together to form a long rectangle. Place the filling in a line down the centre, brush a side with some egg and roll the pastry to enclose. Slowly shape the log into a wreath, brushing the end with egg and pressing to close. Transfer to the fridge to set for about fifteen minutes.

Once the wreath has firmed up, cut the remaining pastry into strips. Brush the wreath with some egg, hatch the remaining pastry over the top for artistic flair – why the hell not, right? Brush with egg one final time, sprinkle with the sesame seeds and transfer the wreath to the oven to bake for about 45 minutes, or until golden and cooked through. Remove from the oven to rest for about 15 minutes before carving, serving and most importantly, devouring.


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Diavory Glazalami & Burrata Pizza

Main, Pizza, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 3, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under ten new queens tied their kangaroos down and moved on into our teeny, tiny Werk Room. Forgoing any form of opening photoshoot – which sucks, TBH – the dolls put on an epic Mardi Gras welcome performance. To a megamix of Ru’s hits, no less. Ivory was confident with her uplifting lyrics, until Hollywould and Flor cautioned her to focus more on selling herself. They were then followed by sweet Gabriella, and while the advice was 100% correct, it was enough to make her spiral. Coincidentally, the trio that gave her the advice made up the tops – leading to a well deserved Hollywould – while at the other end of the pack, Amyl too got stuck in her head. With it tragically sending Amyl out of the competition as the Jojo Zaho of the season.

Backstage while Ivory was completely gagged by the fact she won the lip sync, she was glad to be able to prove to both herself and her sisters that she can perform. She congratulated Hollywould on taking out the win before Ashley jumped in and immediately turned the attention to herself, gagged by the fact she was in the bottom but glad her ill fitting outfit was so beloved that it saved her. Rita hilariously jumped in herself, reading it as fugly, which upset Ashley.

The next day things were far less tense, with Ivory vowing to be as loud and gay as possible and show the judges confidence. Aka the thing she lacked in the performance. Flor asked her if she and Hollywould actually got into her head, with Ivory doubling down admitting they did. But before a fight could break out, Ru dropped by to put the dolls through their paces in a sexy selfie boudoir mini challenge. Bumpa Love was up first and well, I love her thunderdome, slutty vibes. Ashley Madison was a mess, but rocked the staging, Flor gave slutty Dora the Explorer like an icon, Gabriella was demented and stunning, Hollywould was just sexy, Isis gave awkward old dominatrix, Ivory was a trainwreck in the best way possible, Ivanna Eiffel Towered her way into my heart and Rita gave shitting the bed. Literally.

After Gabrielle was handed victory – justice for Flor – Ru announced that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be attending Muriel’s Wedding. And they’d need to design their outfits using the bedding on set for their pictorials. It descended into chaos as everyone snatched whatever they could, while Gabriella just flicked through and thought it was all shit. 

As they split up to look through their hauls, Ivanna was confident to not fall prey to Anita’s sewing curse and survive a design challenge. Isis meanwhile was vibing, given she is a very good sewer, Bumpa felt she could safely be middle of the pack, Rita was wanting to stand out while Ivory was ready to have her moment. While Gabriella, ugh I hate it, was spiralling. Though her idea to call her dress Muriel so it could be deliberately terrible and save herself was an iconic idea. Ivanna and Isis were busy working away which started to make Flor nervous, given she has no skills in the area. But unlike her sisters, she knew that she needed to stay confident.

Ru dropped by with Raven to kiki with the dolls, with Isis confidently speaking about her history in bridal design. Which Raven pointed out put a target on her back. Ivory was selling confidence, despite being unable to sew with her gorgeous red fabric. Bumpa Love had Ru in stitches as she sold drunk aunt energy, Ashley threw shade as she shared she was using the exact same fabric as Ivory. But with sewing skills. Obviously Ru and Raven lived for the drama, which didn’t really kick off until they left, as Ivory read Ashley as a tasteless bitch.And like their sisters, I love it. Flor meanwhile was spiralling over the outfit, leading to Isis stepping in to help her. Followed by helping Ivory and then all her sisters, begging the question, is she going to be able to finish her outfit? Gabriella didn’t want to bother anyone though, however sadly it meant she just quietly spiralled. While Ivanna knew she should line her gown, but was worried about having enough time.

Oh and Hollywould decided she hated her fabric and decided to start again.

Elimination Day arrived with rumours swirling that Isis had made a completely new outfit for Hollywould. Which they both emphatically denied – just some hemming – before Hollywould pointed out that they should hope she doesn’t land in the bottom anyway, given she would murder them in a lip sync. As they split up to finish, Bumpa and Rita meanwhile were frustrated that other queens were getting help when they did everything themselves. Meanwhile Ashley asked if Hollywould felt she could best three people, with her hilariously pointing out Flor as one of them, who was right behind her. Talk turned to their relationships, with Bumpa talking about being married for 10 years – with Gabriella hilariously pointing out you get less for murder, which is such an ockerism – before Isis shared a touching story about how much weddings and marriage equality went to making her feel whole.

Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined by Maria Thattil on the panel before Ivanna served bitchy mother in law realness, in white for emphasis. Rita gave cutesie flower girl as she flashed the judges, Ashley’s jealous sister looked ok but her hair was a mess. Sadly Ivory’s dress was such a mess though, it made Ashley look great. Bumpa Love meanwhile sold the hell out of her horny, mother of the bride realness, Hollywould looked SO good as a glamorous flower girl supermodel – thank you, Isis – Gabriella slayed as a fringed showgirl waitress at the wedding, Isis served a draped, gown – though looked dead, according to Rhys – before Flor closed the runway as she sold the party. And I love it. 

Ashley, Gabriella and Flor were sent to safety – with a “thank you so much,” from Gabriella – before Ivanna was praised for her sewing, though read for not lining the dress. Or steaming the garment. And kind of not sharing enough energy. Rita meanwhile was read for not having flowers, though praised for hemming, despite a lack of shape to the gown. While the judges loved Ivory’s presentation, they read her outfit for absolute filth. Specifically the wonky tits and pregnant vibe. Bumpa meanwhile received universal praise for the details and the energy, while Hollywould’s outfit was beloved, thanks to Isis, though so was her energy. Isis meanwhile received wall to wall praise for the look, though Michelle cautioned her to tone down the eye makeup.

Oh and then Rhys offered some important advice, “Why talk about anal beads? Use them!”

Backstage Ashley was thrilled to be safe, though shocked to be there alongside Flor and Gabriella. The tops and bottoms joined them, with everyone agreeing Isis is taking out the victory, while Gabriella agreed with Ashley, shocked that she was safe. Hollywould admitted she is in the top, while Ivanna started to break down, disappointed to be in the bottom and potentially going home on a sewing challenge. Just like Anita. Rita too was in her feelings, while Ivory tried to cheer them up. Ashley asked if that meant she thinks she is safe, with Ivory talking about how she got opposite critiques to last week. Admitting that she is mainly annoyed that she is in the bottom when people literally had their garments made for them.

Ultimately the doll’s suspicion was correct as Isis jagged her first victory, before Bumpa and Hollywould were sent to safety. At the other end of the pack, Ivanna – thankfully – narrowly avoided the bottom, leaving Rita to face off against Ivory. Well, eventually, as Ivory fainted and had to go outside to recover, leaving poor Rita to sit there on stage wondering what the hell was going on, with sweet Gabriella ra-ing her up from the back of the stage. As a wonky Ivory returned to the stage, Ru decided enough was enough and told them that NOBODY would actually be lip syncing tonight. Instead, due to the medical episode, the dolls would have a night to rest before lip syncing at the top of the next episode.

Given the extraordinary circumstances, I decided to bring forward Ivory’s culinary comfort. As she wobbled off stage, I quickly took her under her wing, and while she continued her sassiness, pointing out she is still in the competition, I figured that given she almost went over the edge of the stage, she should be happy. Plus, in her two, soon to be three, episodes, she already proved to be an icon and as such, that is worthy of a celebration. Whether she lives – poor choice of words – to fight another day, or exits as the second boot. And conveniently, Diavory Glazalami & Burrata Pizza is perfect for either situation.

The hot and fiery salami – think week two Ivory – pairs perfectly with the light, creaminess of the burrata – week on Ivory – to give you a nearly perfect pizza. Even if it means she will likely go out next, on account of the pizza curse.

Enjoy!

Diavory Glazalami & Burrata Pizza
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
½ cup passata
2 tbsp italian herbs
¾ cup mozzarella, grated
20 slices diavola salami
1 tsp dried chilli flakes
1 ball burrata, torn

Method
Prep the base as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 200°C. 

Roll out the dough and spread with passata, then scatter with mozzarella, salami and chilli flakes. Transfer to the oven to bake for 20 minutes or so, or until golden and bubbling.

Remove from the oven and top with burrata. Before devouring, like an icon.


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Vespeach and Haloumi Pitas

Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Main, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race France Nicky reminded us – again – how popular the first season was resulting in Paloma’s triumphant victory. Begging the question, is that going to open every episode? Because I both live, and lol. We then pivoted to the actual recap, which was that last week 11 new queens arrived and immediately dropped an absolute banger as they wrote and recorded a new Drag Race France anthem. While there were a trio of iconic performances, Sara Forever took out the first win of the season – justice for Keiona and Punani – while Rose and Kitty Space were deemed the weakest, landing them in the bottom. Being a dancing queen, Kitty was able to turn a show and save herself, sending Rose out of the competition first. As the La Kahena of the season.

Backstage Kitty was holding back tears as she returned to read the mirror message, heartbroken to lose such a sweetheart like Rose. And, you know, to realise that the competition is real. Punani meanwhile was truly gutted to have lost her best friend, while Sara just felt intimidated about what she will be facing each week as they are all so fierce. Despite proving herself fiercest as the winner of the first challenge. 

The next day the top ten had wipes their tears and marched in ready to slay another week. As they speculated what the next challenge could be, they were interrupted by the cocorico signalling the arrival of Nicky. And this week’s mini challenge, where they would get into panda drag in just 15 minutes and they boots the house down to Pandi-Panda which I think was all translated correctly. Thankfully the zaddy Pit Crew were wheeled out with a few supplies and after the queens ravaged their box, they got to work getting Pandafied. Well, Mami did, the rest just looked hilarious. One by one the dolls got up – and off – and slayed their pandied self, dancing in the most unhinged ways until Moon was deemed the victor. I assume for being the most unhinged. 

Before departing Nicky announced that for this week’s maxi challenge they would be throwing a little old talent show. In front of the cast of Season 1. The dolls immediately split up to prepare for the show, with everyone confident they’d be able to impress their Season 1 sisters. Keiona, obviously, was excited to bring some legit vogueing to the mainstage, while Mami opened up to the doll’s that her family doesn’t know she does drag due to how religious they are. To the point her mother signed her up for conversion therapy, and how she still speaks about her mother with so much love in her heart, says all you need to know about Mami. Because that is some fucked-up, horrid behaviour yet Mami continues to be kind. Moon admitted that conversion therapy is still a thing in Switzerland too with some of her friends having had ECT as part of it and oh god, fuck the world and just let everyone live.

The conversation turned more broadly to parents and hearing Moon talk about how parents have a job to accept their kids and make their lives easier sounds so simple but for some people, they just seem to get it so, so wrong.

We did a hard pivot from the trauma bonding of the queens to the mainstage where Nicky, Daphne and Kiddy were joined by Zahia Dehar on the panel before the dolls of Season 1 were bused in to join the audience. And then, and only then, did Keiona take the stage to open the show and absolutely demolish as she vogued the house down and showed just why she is a legend. Punani then was adorable as she gave the stupidest, camp ‘80s workout routine. It was absurd and just perfect. Vespi meanwhile was trollied in with a disco ball on her head until it split in half half-way through, ruining her reveal during a camp robot dance number. Sara Forever then gave demon moan realness before busting out opera lip sync and well, I live. Because they are all ridiculous. Ginger then went a more traditional route, serving comedy with a messy wig and had the judges in stitches. Kitty then bombed with a skit before it pivoted into a sexy dance number.

Well, I think. She was carried a lot?

Mami then gave a powerful dance in honour of her African heritage, complete with a living gown and yeah, it was iconic and I love her, so I don’t care what the judges think. Cookie then did a puppet show and again, it was unhinged, so I love it. Moon then did a lip sync to reveal a claw fingered creature with paint on its fingers which she used to paint a portrait. And again, I live. Piche then stuck with something more traditional, showing off her pipes with vocal runs and all the notes before giving a full R&B performance in the cutest damn tracksuits and yeah, give her the win because it was good. Really good. Whether I am crushing on her or not. 

On the 2 in 1 runway, Cookie went from suit to evening gown however the suit was still visible, so I’m not happy. Keiona went from sexy zebra to a red gowned vixen. Sara served penis to vulva, lika a damn icon, before Punani went from winter to spring and Kitty went from the caged bird to glamorous phoenix. Moon went from Gen Z influencer to boxing bra, Ginger gave Jackie Kennedy to Marilyn – eventually – Mami went from bug to artist’s canvas, complete with her buns out before Vespi went from virgin bride to goddess. But again, struggled with her headwear. Piche then went from Arlesian to a stunning flamenco gown and again, give her the win. 

Ginger, Cookie, Sara, Mami, Vespi, Keiona and Piche were summoned forward as the tops and bottoms, with the Punani, Kitty and Moon heading backstage to untuck. Cookie’s talent show was read for being too safe and for being stuck in her head. Keoina obviously received universal praise for her performance and the runway, leading to her breaking down over how happy she is to be cutting through with the judges and respresenting ballroom. Sara once again was beloved for her – unhinged – performance, Ginger’s runway received top marks as did her killer comedy before Mami was read for having a strong start in the talent show, though going nowhere after that. Vespi meanwhile was praised for her outfit though read for offering no reveal and for the general mishaps in the talent show. Piche on the otherhand received universal praise for the perforamnce and for giving a full moment on the runway.

Backstage the dolls reconvened with Piche very excited by how much the judges love her, while Keiona was worried her runway would cost her the win. Mami meanwhile was in her feels, worried about potentially lip syncing as the dolls rallied to remind her how much they loved her runway. Vespi too was sure she was lip syncing as Cookie felt like her inner saboteur had gotten her tonight.

Ultimately Keiona’s fears were correct as she was sent to safety alongside Sara and Ginger before Piche took out her first win of the season. As she deserves. Vespi was then sent straight through to the bottom before Mami was sent to safety, leaving Cookie to join the battle for survival. But as soon as Lara Fabian’s Tout kicked off – again, gagged we’re hearing thisin Australia and not hold music – it was clear that she was not going anywhere, feeling all the emotions and hitting every lyric. Not to say Vespi didn’t slay, as she did, destroying her garment as she stripped off, but sadly, this is the kind of song that lends itself to a legend and Cookie knocked it out of the park, saving herself and sending Vespi out of the competition.

Backstage, sweet Vespi was in her feels, heartbroken to be out of the competition so soon. Particularly since a lot of it came down to things going wrong for her, rather than the concepts. I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that she still got to show off her talent and given the hijinks, it kind of made her more iconic and as such, she should be able to benefit from it. Kinda like the French version of Farrah Moan. With that, she was pretty chuffed – I mean, hello All Stars – and gladly sat down to celebrate her brief run with some Vespeach and Haloumi Pitas.

Sweet, sticky and salty, these little veggie kebabs are such a surprising delight. Everyone’s favourite squeaky cheese works perfectly with the peach to provide a surprising, delicious summer BBQ treat that will have you coming back time and time again.

Enjoy!

Vespeach and Haloumi Pitas
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
540g haloumi, cut into 2cm strips
4 yellow peaches, pitted and cut into segments
60ml olive oil
8 sprigs thyme leaves
⅓ cup honey
1 tsp chilli flakes
1 lemon, juiced
salt and pepper, to taste
¼ cup basil leaves
8 Pita Andre Bread

Method
Pop a griddle pan over medium-high heat as you thread haloumi and peach onto skewers, alternating as you go, until you fill the skewer. Brush the skewers with oil and once the pan is scorching, add the skewers and cook for a few minutes each side until they are crisp and have a little bit of char about them. Remove from the heat and keep warm.

Combine the thyme, honey and chilli flakes in a saucepan and cook over medium heat for a few minutes, stirring as you go, until it is caramelised. Stir in the lemon juice and immediately remove from the heat. Season to taste.

Pour the syrup over the skewers and serve with the pitas and a generous helping of basil.


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Smokey Lamb Pitita

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 3, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race España doce chicas nuevas y La Macarena arrived for a shot – or another – at joining Carmen y Sharonne in the España winner’s circle. Given the first two seasons were so damn good, the judges weren’t feeling the dolls over the first couple of weeks and cussed them out, begging them to lift their game. And lift their games they did. Tragically though, we had to lose icons week after week, with sweet Maria becoming the La Macarena of the season. She was followed out the door by a trio of zaddies, first Drag Chuchi, then Chanel Anorex and then Kelly Roller pop on her skates and headed out the door. The tragedy for my loins was distracted as La Macarena ended her redemption run followed by the iconic Visa. 

Supremme y Co. then went for the ultimate gag by emulating the All Stars 2 revenge of the queens episode. Sadly for them, however, Pitita wasn’t eviserating Visa like Phi Phi was Alyssa. That being said, the comedy show turned out the same with some awkward pairings landing Pink, Pakita and Pitita in the bottom while Kelly returned thanks to a pitch perfect turn with Vania. After Pititia saved herself in the lip sync, Kelly returned to being a power bottom and sent Bestiah out the door.

The top five then made Cinderellas out of waste management staff and while Pitita, Vania and Kelly shone, Clover and Hornella landed in the bottom with Hornella earning her spot in the finale alongside her sisters, sending Clover to the house. The top four then performed in Supremme’s new filmclip before Hornella and Kelly were cut, leaving Vania and Pititia to lip sync for the crown before the latter rightly took out the crown after a dominant performance across the season.

As she arrived backstage with her new crown and sceptor, I pulled Pitita in for a massive hug and congratulated her on a job well done. Despite her sisters feeling the judging was questionable – I’d agree if they were speaking about the Clover hate, but I digress – there is no denying that Pitita never really put a foot wrong. She was stunning, creative, funny and oh so polished, giving a masterclass on how to do Drag Race right, kinda like Trinity the Tuck. But you know, way more likeable. So with that, there was nothing more to do but crown her with a glorious Smokey Lamb Pitita.

This may be a quick and easy mid-week kind of meal, but when it packs this much flavour, it is hard to discount it as perfection. Smokey, spicy and oh so fresh, it will quickly find a way into your regular rotation. Better yet, it uses some Peasa Hummus to help elevate it, which you know Visa would love.

Enjoy!

Smokey Lamb Pitita
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
4 Pita Andre Breads, halved
2 tbsp dukkah
olive oil
500g lamb mince
1 tsp coriander seeds, ground
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp smoked paprika
½ tsp turmeric
¼ tsp chilli flakes
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
1 tomato, diced
1 Lebanese cucumber, diced
¼ cup parsley, finely chopped
2 tsp red wine vinegar
Peasa Hummus, to taste

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C, split the pitas and cover with foil and bake for 10 minutes, or until softened and warmed. Place a frying pan over high heat and cook the dukkah for a minute, or until fragrant. Transfer to a bowl.

Heat a lug of oil in a skillet over high heat. Add the lamb and cook, breaking up with a wooden spoon for a minute or so. Add the coriander, cumin, paprika, turmeric and chilli, and cook for a further 5 minutes or until browned and crisp. Season to taste.

Combine the tomato, cucumber and parsley in a bowl with a tablespoon of oil and the red wine vinegar.

To assemble,  smear the pitas with the hummus, fill with the lamb and then the salad. And then devour. Regally.


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Bakitad Orzo and Meatballs

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 3, Main, Pasta, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race España the dolls starred in a rusical which obviously lasted a full 15 minutes, because this is Spain. Pink Chadora and Clover Bish were a solid duo of Dorothy’s in the club scene take on The Wizard of Oz, though once again it was Pitita that shined amongst the trio of friends. At the expense of the others. Visa in particular, who was also read for her runway while Clover was read for blending in despite being the lead. Further cementing her place as the frontrunner, Pititia took out her third win, enraging Visa who felt she was being favoured. Her mood definitely didn’t improve when she landed in the bottom opposite Clover – who is experiencing the opposite of favouritism – who promptly sent her home.

Backstage Clover was fondly remembering Visa and her potty mouth. After reading her mirror message the dolls all spoke about their love for Visa, while Clover was glad they could turn a show for them in the lip sync. Pitita on the other hand, wasn’t so sad, given Visa read her in Untucked. Thankfully though, that was only in a confessional because the mirror lit up revealing each of the eliminated queens. The top seven were gagged, taking their places around the table to kiki as the six eliminated queens sashayed back into the Werk Room one by one and while they all looked an-gry and Visa straight up threatened revenge, I’m hoping they are all lovely and supportive.

The next day the reunited cast returned to the Werk Room with everyone as kind and excited as I hoped, as everyone welcomed them back. Well until Visa jumped in, assuring the dolls she has more to show and that she is ready to fight. She then caught everyone up on the fact she read Pitita for being favoured by the judges given she can’t lip sync and they don’t want her eliminated. And while she was looking for a fight, Pitita was confident in her skills and was rather unbothered by the entire thing and well, I love the drama but was glad when Supremme dropped by and put an end to things. She welcomed back her fallen daughters explaining that for a chance to return to the competition, they would be paired with a surviving queen to perform a comedy set with the one in the winning duo returning to the competition. Oh and to really up the stakes, she shared that two of the surviving queens would be going home in a threeway lip sync.

The eliminated queens were called forward to select partners with Visa opting for Pitita – for reasons beyond my comprehension if she wants back in, but whatever – The Macarena selected Pink, Kelly went with Vania, Chanel locked in with Hornella, Chuchi picked Bestiah while Maria partnered up with Pakita. Leaving poor Clover in the cursed spot of being the solo host, who generally ends up in the bottom in the US seasons. But as she rides solo, if she wins, she alone can decide who makes a triumphant return to the contest.

As they split up to work on their set, Visa admitted she chose Pitita to clear the air and become friends. But mainly since they have drama, it should make for an exciting watch for the judges. And if she is favoured, that should help her. Though when clearing the air, Pitita carefully worded her apology, meaning Visa wasn’t thrilled by it and well, the feud lives, sadly. After 10 minutes of fighting that ended with them agreeing to use the rage, we checked in with Bestiah and Chuchi and while the former was disappointed to be paired with her, they were super zen and focused. Well, until Clover dropped by to kiki, no doubt sick of being lonely. The dolls told her that they hoped that since nobody expects them to excel at comedy, that surprising them is all it should take to survive.

The Macarena and Pink were glad to already be comfortable reading each other, while Hornella felt that as a duo, they were a ticking time bomb. Hornella and Chanel meanwhile were trying to make the best of things, though Chanel admitted to being the gift Hornella didn’t really want. Oh and then Clover dropped by to needle them for information, and I love that vibe for her. Vania and Kelly meanwhile were dirty and giggling and ugh, just seeing their chemistry you know they are the ones to beat. Once again begging the question, why did Visa and The Macarena pick people they didn’t vibe with? Oh and Pakita and Maria were drama-free sweethearts and I only want good things for them. 

Dia de eliminacion arrived with the dolls talking about how they are handling the pressure as they beat their mugs, with Pitita once again getting attacked, this time by Pink Chadora, who decided she also helped her and as such, Pitita needed to learn to thank others and credit them on the runway. Clover being an icon, ran to the drama to see it all unfold and ideally, use it to fuel her set. The Macarena joined in on the pile up with Pink calling Pitita her external saboteur and well, isn’t continuing to fight with her keeping her in her mind and as such, weakening you for the challenge ahead? But whatever.

Supremme, Ana y los Javis were joined on the panel by Eva Soriano as Clover stomped onto stage to open the Reinas de la Comedia show with charm and energy. Maria started with an awkward little song before Pakita popped out of her dress like a baby and while I thought it made zero sense because of the language barrier, the judges also looked pretty confused, rather than amused. Clover was cute as she read her sisters before Bestiah and Chuchi did a solid performance as influencer mean girls, reading for filth and shocking the judges and their sisters equally. 

Each break Clover went from strength to strength, reading Hornella and Chanel before the dolls were cute with their kiddy schtick. Sorry, vicious kiddy schtick. Vania and Kelly meanwhile were perfection from start to finish giving dirty, gossiping housewives that had the energy of Detox and Tatianna, which is a smart choice on their part. Most importantly, they had everyone in stitches from start to finish. The Macarena y Pink Chadora had some strong reads, though kinda felt like they forgot about the challenge half way through and just started to yell at each other and let’s just say, everyone was awkward. Pitita and Visa closed the show and while they started strong, it derailed quickly and while they thought the fake out fight and storm out was cute, Pitita girl, you are in danger. So thankfully Clover closed the show strongly.

On the Peluca Palooza runway, Pink looked devilishly good in red. Ironically. Pitita gave pink Diana Ross realness and was absolute perfection, Bestiah looked like Club Kid Sulley, though stacked it and bled through what should have been a triumphant walk. Vania gave plait, plait, plait and looked camp and fun in equal measure. Hornella meanwhile gave full glam and full bush and damn, she really is overdue for a win because she hasn’t really faltered. Oh and Clover was lovely in lilac serving bearded anime icon while Pakita was drowning in all my hair that is stuck in the drain. 

The judges felt Pakita’s look was creative and different from what her sisters offered, however felt the comedy was not great. Bestiah was praised for playing to their strengths and selling their chemistry, and for looking stunning on the runway, despite the blood stains. Hornella was read for not maintaining the momentum of their solid start in the performance, though the judges agreed she was perfect on the runway. Vania and Kelly received universal praise for all that they did, maintaining the laughs from start to finish and for looking stunning on the runway. Pink meanwhile was read for having no chemistry or jokes, despite a beautiful runway while Pitita too was read for giving such an awkward performance. While they obviously loved her runway. Clover on the other hand received universal praise and ugh, I am so proud of her and glad that she got the chance to shine.

Backstage The Macarena felt bad about bringing Pink down in the challenge, while Visa was shocked that she and Pitita didn’t shine. Which the latter felt was a deliberate attack against her. Pakita meanwhile thought she was definitely in danger, though admitted she just hoped Maria  enjoyed herself, before the dolls congratulated Clover on a solid MC gig and for finally snatching her moment.

Ultimately Clover was sent to safety – robbed – before Vania and Kelly were deemed the winners of this week’s challenge, seeing zaddy Kelly skate her way right back into the competition like a damn icon. Pink learnt that she was one of the dolls lip syncing tonight before Hornella and Bestiah were sent to safety, leaving Pakita and Pitita to face off against Pink. And given Pakita was up against the two front runners, it was obvious she would be going home.

As soon as she sashayed away, I pulled her aside and pulled her in for a massive hug; grateful for not just being a stunning, sweet soul but also a sickening performer who truly belonged at the end of the competition. But alas, Drag Race producers love to both gag and goop in equal measure, and as such, we were robbed of her being a finalist. And instead, had to celebrate the only way I know, a gloriously rich pasta dish like Bakitad Orzo and Meatballs.

Not only is this dish gloriously comforting and delicious, but given that it is baked, it is super easy. Which as I get older, definitely becomes a priority. Sweet, rich and a little spicy, it is the perfect dish for the middle of the week or a glorious weekend meal.

Enjoy!

Bakitad Orzo and Meatballs
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 tbsp butter, melted 
2 tbsp olive oil
6 garlic cloves, minced 
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
2 tbsp tomato paste 
400g tin diced tomatoes 
2 ½ cups chicken stock
500g orzo 
500g beef mince
250g pork mince
1 egg, beaten 
½ cup panko bread crumbs 
¼ cup fresh basil, roughly chopped
¼ cup flat leaf parsley, roughly chopped
1 tsp chilli flakes
½ tsp oregano
¼ tsp thyme
¼ tsp rosemary
3 cups spinach 
½ cup parmesan cheese

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Combine the butter, oil, ½ of the grated garlic, ½ teaspoon of kosher salt, a good whack of pepper, tomato paste, diced tomatoes, 1 cup of the chicken stock and orzo in a casserole dish, stirring well. Cover with some foil and bake for 20 minutes. 

While that gets juicy, combine the minces, egg, bread crumbs, half of the basil, the remaining garlic, two teaspoons salt, chilli, oregano, thyme and rosemary in a large bowl. Once well combined, form into golf-ball sized balls and leave to rest on a plate.

Remove the orzo and stir through the remaining stock, basil, parsley and the spinach and parmesan, before dotting the balls on the top. Return to the oven to back for a further 20 minutes, or until cooked through

Serve immediately with some parmesan and fresh herbs, devouring like an icon.


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Peasa Hummus

Condiment, Dip, Drag Race España, Drag Race España 3, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race España the queens finally played the Snatch Game and while it is often something I struggle to translate, it was clear that Pink Chadora, Hornella, Vania and Visa were the stars of the show. Though it did feel like Hornella and Vania were a double act, rather than two performances. At the other end of the pack, Bestiah struggled, The Macarena gave only voice and somehow, the judges hated Pakita’s slutty Peppa Pig which was honestly iconic. After Pink took out her second victory – and vowed to split the money with Hornella – before Bestiah was saved leaving robbed icon Pakita to face off against our favourite returning queen. And then promptly sent her home. Again.

Backstage Pakita was feeling bad for The Macarena, given she was so kind to her despite the fact she also drove her mad. As she sobbed through cleaning the mirror, the dolls looked on a little awkwardly given Pink Chadora, in particular, was thrilled to see her go. After they sat down, Pakita opened up about how surprised she was to have made such strong bonds in the competition, while Clover was just gagged to see Pakita showing emotion after being so stoic. Talk turned to Pink’s second win with her admitting she was sure Hornella would win, which is why she shared her prize. While Pitita hilariously pointed out to us that it made more sense to trust the judges opinion, even if they clearly just focused on the loudest person in the room. 

The next day things were far more uplifting as the dolls entered the Werk Room to The Macarena’s song. Talk immediately returned to the competition, with Vania hoping she would also get a little prize from Hornella, given she helped carry her to second. Pitita pointed out a table of gifts sitting next to them, with them speculating maybe a little sewing challenge is coming up. Supremme then dropped by to announce that they won’t be whipping out the Janome, and instead, they’d be starring in a rusical. No doubt lasting 45 minutes like last season. But first, the boxes, with Supremme announcing they were actually gifts from home with Pakita getting a belt and shaw – or is that sash – Hornella had a styrofoam papaya – yuck – and a vibrator – work – Pink Chadora had a book of her husband’s poetry, Bestiah got an anime drawing of her little family, Clover got nutella and a letter, Pitita got a teddy from su abuela, Visa got Mexican candies from su novio y Vania got a turtle from su madre, which was originally her grandmothers.

Meaning grandmothers and teddys are having a big episode tonight.

As everyone wiped away their tears, Supreme announced that they’d be starring in El Mago Precoz – aka The Wizard of Oz – and to secure their roles, they will even have to audition. After Supremme departed, the dolls sat down to read the script and figure out which roles they’d be going out for. Barely able to finish it, Vania was called into the audition suite with Supremme and a trio of zaddies with her being a delight from start to finish. Clover was up next and missed the final note of her scale, Hornella was horny, Pitita was camp and kooky, Pakita was a screaming delight, Pink struggled to maintain the anger they required, Visa flooded my basement while Bestiah closed auditions with demented delight. 

Dia de eliminacion arrived with the dolls a healthy mix of excitement of nerves, with Clover thrilled to have jagged one of the leads (Doro, to Pink’s Tea, get it?). Pitita, Pakita and Visa were excited to be her three friends, Hornella was ready to shine as the Wizard while Vania was thrilled to be the Glinda proxy while Bestiah was ready to eat as the Wicked Witch. As they split up to beat their mugs, Pitita opened up to Pakita about being misunderstood as a child and how growing up in a conservative household made it difficult at home in addition to school, where she didn’t have many friends. Thankfully once she left school and moved out, she learnt to trust in herself and form good relationships, which have helped her thrive and TBH, just crown Pitita now because she is such a sweet icon.

Supremme, Ana y Los Javis were joined by my dear friend Penelope’s little sister, Monica Cruz to watch the opening and closing night of El Mago Precoz – which commenced at the 34 minute mark, for the record – with Vania killing it as Club Glinda, while Pitita ate as the scarecrow stand-in, which sadly left Pakita and Visa to fade into the background. Hornella was fun with her brief role, while Clover and Pink were hurt by the fact they spent the entire time on stage. All 60 hours of it, like 8 Gay Men with AIDS. Finishing at the 48 minute mark, FYI.

On the Tres Looks en Uno Runway Pakita went from yellow frilled fun into flamenco to sexy icon, however I already fear the judges will say they weren’t really three looks. Vania went from winter coat to a messy brown dress to an even messier dress before offering a fourth pride swimsuit look. Hornella served from trash bag to pigeon lady to a rag princess, Pink went from PJs to house dress to evening gown, Pitita served LBD to gorgeous green gown to full length pink drama and dolls, this is how it is done. Bestiah went for rock queen, to cloud demon before slaying a red and black look and well, it was GOOD. Visa meanwhile was a pink puff before revealing a teal gown(?) before transforming, slowly, into a butterfly. While Clover iconically served Bratz in all the colours – aka Sugar and Spice.

Bestiah and Pink were sent to safety before Pakita was praised – rightly, despite my fears – for a stunning runway though read for not having enough of a presence in the rusical. Vania received universal praise for the challenge, though was cautioned to bring more polish to the runways. Hornella too was beloved, before Pitita – as is becoming tradition – received all the praise and then some, for stealing the show in the rusical and giving such a killer runway. Visa meanwhile was read for not bringing enough in the challenge though praised for two out of three of the looks landing. Clover was praised for lip syncing two episodes ago, though read for not bringing that passion to the rusical, despite a strong runway. Clover rightly wasn’t sure why the judges were reading her, with Javier Ambrossi explaining they just don’t want her to bring herself down to other people’s level when dancing and instead shine.

Backstage Bestiah was disappointed to be safe while Pink was more focused on the fact Hornella is likely winning. On the other hand, they could not clock the bottoms. Right on cue, the dolls joined them with Clover opening up about the judges reading her again, despite not really being bad. Visa was okay with her critiques, given she knows rusicals are not her jam, despite the dolls telling her she slayed all the moves. She admitted that it sucks to see other dolls slay weeks they felt they were going to bomb before she read dolls for being favoured. Specifically Pitita and while I love Visa, Pitita is not the one to come for. Pink is, but I digress. 

Ultimately Vania was deemed safe before Pitita took out her third win of the season, leaving Hornella as a very capable runner-up. Pakita meanwhile was the last to join them, leaving Clover and Visa to battle it out for the final slot to Beth’s Dime and once again, Clover proved to be a killer performer when it counted, owning the stage and giving all the energy. Visa meanwhile was living her best life, feeling all the emotions, stripping off and flipping up onto heels. Sadly for her, however, it wasn’t enough to win over the judges – despite both the dolls splitting in perfect synergy – as Clover was sent to safety, eliminating her from the competition.

Well, until next week’s return challenge, but once again, I digress.

Before she took her place behind the mirror All Stars 2 style, I pulled Visa aside and assured her that she has more than slayed the competition and should hold her head high. Despite the fact she felt Pititia was getting praise she didn’t deserve, I tried to redirect her anger towards Pink and while we’ll have to wait and see next week whether I was successful, we dropped the conversation and instead toasted her run – thus far – with a sweet, rich Peasa Hummus.

While this recipe is super simple – mashing peas into hummus, if you go store bought – it is one of those things that prove how you don’t have to work hard to eat something delicious.

Enjoy!

Peasa Hummus
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
1 cup Ivana Hummus
¾ cup peas
1 tsp chilli flakes

Method
Make the hummus as per Ivana’s recipe and cook the peas – in the microwave or boiled, I don’t mind – for a couple of minutes, or until vibrant, bright and warmed.

Drain and place the peas in a bowl and mash before stirring through the hummus and chilli flakes. While you could also blitz, I prefer this one to feel a little more rustic with the chunkiness, rather than it being too smooth. If that is your jam, no judgement, get blitzing.

Either way, load up on crudites and crackers and then devour. Feeling healthy and fresh, like the skinny legend you – and Tracey Martell, of course – are.


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Sashawarma Colby

Main, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 15, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race 16 new queens arrived in the Werk Room in two groups of 8, for no reason but to create a little bit of drama in the first episode since they were immediately united after their mini challenges. Despite everyone taking an instant dislike to TikTok twins Sugar and Spice, they quickly won hearts and minds with their sweet demeanours and killer talent show. Someone who didn’t walk the fuck in the talent show, however, was Bosco’s sister Irene DuBois, who was promptly eliminated from the competition.

She was soon followed by Princess Poppy who essentially laid down her sword in the lip sync so she could go ahead and quit drag. Sugar was next out despite her sister giving the most unhinged version of Miley, a sentence I ask you to re-read to understand the gravity of it. She was followed by Amethyst, Robin Fierce and the newest member of the win to elim club, Aura Mayari. After Anetra showed mercy to Spice in the Lalaparuza, she promptly eliminated Jax before Spice’s luck ran out. Officially. Miss Congeniality, Malaysia Babydoll Foxx soon followed before Marcia Marcia Marcia was eliminated in what should have been a double shantay for the sole purpose of not having her own the rusical. Said rusical was the undoing of Salina EsTitties before mini-challenge queen Loosey LaDuca was felled after a very strong makeover.

Despite Ru promising the top four one of them would be eliminated before the finale, their killer performance in the rumix forced the judges hands as the top four were sent through to the finale. After a super-length reunion – arguably the only episode that should be an hour – the top four delivered individual performances on the Ace Theatre stage before Ru culled them down to just two, our lip sync queens Anetra and Mother Sasha Colby leaving Luxx and Mistress to sashay away. And while they both obviously slayed the final lip sync, only one could actually take out the crown and that woman was Sasha Colby.

Just as I predicted before the season (even filmed) and most importantly, just as she deserves.

As she exited stage with her fresh crown and sceptre, I pulled her in for a massive hug to congratulate her on her win. Week after week, Sasha was polished, open, charming and dripping in talent, and while she faced stiff competition throughout the season, her impeccable performance never left any doubt she would be taking out the crown. So with another feather in her impressively adorned cap, I thanked her for sharing herself with the world and told her how excited I am to see what she does next. All while smashing our faces with a big, fresh Sashawarma Colby.

Like the Avengers before her, Sasha firmly believes in the power of shawarma to celebrate a victory. Earthy and spiced, warm and fresh, it is perfect for any triumphant occasion. As her daughter’s friend Jasmine Kennedie says, this is our moment and we are going to have it.

Enjoy!

Sashawarma Colby
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
¼ cup tomato paste
3 tbsp white vinegar 
8 garlic cloves, minced
1 ½ tsp paprika 
1 ½ tsp chilli flakes
1 tsp cumin 
½ tsp ground coriander 
½ tsp dried oregano 
½ tsp sumac 
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
1kg chicken thigh fillets
Coolaioli, Pita Andre Bread and salad, to serve

Method
Place the tomato paste, vinegar, garlic, paprika, chilli, cumin, coriander, oregano and sumac in a large bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Whisk to combine before adding the chicken. Toss to coat, cover and transfer to the fridge to marinate overnight.

When you’re ready to go the next day, preheat the oven to 200C. Thread the thighs onto a duo of metal skewers (so they form a ladder of chicken), pressing down so each thigh is firmly against the next, leaving a couple of inches free at each end. Repeat the process with subsequent duos of skewers whenever you run out of space. Line a baking dish and balance the ends on the sides so the chicken remains elevated. Transfer to the oven and bake for about 20 minutes, or until charred on the outside and cooked through.

Remove from the oven and allow to rest for five minutes before slicing the meat of the skewers. Serve piping hot with salad, or rolled into a delicious kebab using Coolio and Pita Andre’s goods. Devour, like the mother fucking queen that you (and Sasha) are.


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Paige Donarred Greens

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Side, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor Stevie was grateful for Shiz saving him in the most chaotic tribal council of the season, while Jordie was left right out on the Villains. Though with Shiz secretly vowing to have his back. While Simon was Simon. Shonee meanwhile casually found herself a new piece of bling in the form of an idol, wisely keeping it a secret from even her closest of allies. At the immunity challenge George and Simon aired their dirty laundry to the Heroes before Shiz single handedly scored them immunity. Back at the Heroes, Gerry was fired up and ready to call them out for the way they handled sending him to the Villains, while Ben quickly realised it was him or Gerry going home. After finding the cookie non-idol, Ben used it as a clue to finding another idol on the Heroes beach, which he ultimately used to save himself, as he stitched up Sharni and swiftly got her booted from the game.

In no small part thanks to Paige’s lie that Sharni dropped the block, but whatevs, I’m not bitter.

Letting us know we’re in for a big episode, the tribes immediately joined with Jonathan in the middle of the jungle where they were delighted to discover an auction awaiting them. Psych, it wasn’t an auction though, as Jonathan unveiled the first covered item, new buffs, meaning they are finally switching! One by one they went up to select their new buffs with Nina going to the Villains, Ben sticking with the Heroes, Sam going to the Villains, Gerry sticking with the Heroes, alongside ally George before Liz found herself isolated on the Villains, as Shonee also landed on the Heroes. David added more beef to the Villains, alongside Shaun and Simon before Matt stuck with Heroes, Hayley went to Villains, Stevie went to Heroes and Jordie stuck with the Villains. Alongside his nemesis Simon and all his new alpha bros. While Flick and Paige were stuck on the Heroes tribe.

And while everyone laughed about the meat tray all landing together, George hilariously reminded them that meat heads normally suck at Survivor and as such, he isn’t concerned with the idiots. Basically.

But turns out, there was actually an auction too with each tribe getting $2500, with max bids set at $500. The catch being, the money would be shared amongst the tribe meaning some could win big and others end up with nothing. George quickly worked out that everyone then had $320 to spend, with Liz winning the first item, a cheeseburger and beer for $320. Ben jumped straight to $320 on a covered item which led Sam to jump to $360 for what he assumed was an advantage, but ultimately ended up being chocolate. Which honestly, I think makes more sense for him than a note. The next item was a scroll with Ben jumping straight up to $400 as Paige, shock horror, started to bitch to George about needing to vote Ben out ASAP. Oh and the scroll meant he scored an onion and while everyone laughed, Paige – again, shock – looked sour.

Paige then bid $400 on spag bol and red wine – I guess we can all go over $320 now – before Shaun bought it for $500. Flick then bought tacos and margs for $480 before Liz and Paige went into bat for Jordie and Matt bidding on a call from home, given they are both expecting children. While Jordie sweetly tried to step back and let Matt take the call for $200, Matt just as sweetly pointed out he is up to date with the scans and knows the baby is good and as such Jordie can have it to get his update as the two both burst into tears. As did I. While Paige told Matt he is such a good bloke. As Jordie spoke to Sam, he learnt they got the all clear from the doctors AND they found out they are having a boy and ugh, watching everyone cheer for him was so damn wholesome. As was him sobbing about how much he misses her. 

Matt tried to assure him he was crying happy tears for him which honestly broke me even more before George spent $320 on a covered item, which turned out to be a pass as the guest of Honour at a Survivor afternoon party with two of his friends. And while Ben tried to remind him it is a social game, he was loyal and stuck with Shiz as Paige, once again, looked saltier than the dead sea. While Jordie and Simon cautioned everyone that was a dangerous reward, particularly for someone like George.

The Spice Girls arrived at their epic reward, ready to devour everything in sight – including some leftover Sharlami Vinson, FYI – before George learnt he had just won $60,000 from Set for Life. They debated whether they should be checking for an advantage, with them agreeing to just wait until the end before Shonee straight up found an idol while smashing a party pie. Making it two in two episodes. Liz turned the talk to their new tribes, with George sharing that Flick told them Ben can’t be trusted while Liz was confident in all the strength she had on the new Villains, but knew that should they lose, she will be first on the chopping black. With Shonee assuring her that she will hand off the idol if she does lose an immunity. Since she should probs keep it as new Heroes is super weak comparatively and more likely to attend all the premerge tribal councils.

Back at the Heroes camp, Paige told Stevie that everyone helps out around at their camp before reiterating to Flick how much she wants to get rid of Ben ASAP. Given he allegedly twisted her words the previous night, which he didn’t. He told Flick that while she doesn’t trust George, she feels she could at least work with him for a couple of rounds, knowing they’ve split up the chance that he and Ben could potentially align. While Ben quietly worked nearby and oh god, I hope he heard. Also, as an aside, does it feel like a lot of the hate towards Ben comes from a place of casual homophobia? Because it is starting to feel like it. Though to be fair, I am super sensitive about that and may be finding reasons why my hero keeps getting called shady.

We checked in with the new Villains tribe where Hayley was thrilled by their surroundings, while Simon was more focused on how stacked their tribe is and thrilled to finally put an end to his losing streak. Knowing he no longer is the only person carrying the tribe through every challenge. Simon caught up with Shaun to fangirl over him, before Shaun admitted that he plans to use the Jeremy Collins meat shield strategy as Simon desperately tried to get pulled in. They returned to camp with Jordie overhearing him suck up and as such, he decided the only way to survive this mess is to blend in as best as possible, talking footy and copying Shauns’s fashion choices. And ugh, I love Jordie so much as this is hilarious, knowing he is quietly mocking them. Despite how well Simon was trying, the Heroes were still focused on sticking together with Shaun, Hayley, Nina and David locking in a plan to flush Simon’s idol ASAP and then pick off the original Villains. Because yeah, they can all see how desperately Simon was trying to win their love.

The new tribes reconnected for an epic immunity challenge where they would race to transport a tribe member locked in a cage through a tunnel, then a gate, up a huge ramp and then down into a pool before they unlocked said member and two people solved a puzzle. Because duh. Shonee and Hayley took their places in the cages, with the former loving the chance to have a little R&R during the challenge. Obviously the Villains got out to an early, massive lead, unlocking Hayley before the Heroes even made it to the ramp. Hayley and Nina got to work on the puzzle as Stevie cheered his tribe on before finally getting the chance to free Shonee and starting on the puzzle with George. A full circle moment, and I love it. While Hayley and Nina calmly worked through the colours, George started to bicker with Stevie about messing up his work. While Ben looked frustrated to be shut out of the puzzle before subbing out with George. That made the challenge exciting as the Heroes closed the gap as Hayley and Nina madly finished the puzzle and just snatched immunity for the Villains.

As the tribes hugged it out, David told Paige not to trust George whatever she does – like duh, is that really the most important message to share – which made her change her mind about targeting Ben as soon as she returned to camp. Well, after yelling at Stevie for trying to debrief too early and then yelling at everyone to get to work on fire and making some rice. Thankfully George is wise and instead got to work scrambling and locking in a plan of his own. Flick tried to lock him and Shonee in on a plan to get rid of Ben, floating that afterwards, they could align with Paige and Matt to run the tribe. Once Shonee and George were left alone, they laughed about how easy her plan would be to derail, given they are not going to just do what the OG Heroes want and instead will work with Gerry to get rid of one of the originals. And after finding God, they locked in Paige as their target given life is for living.

With that George and Shonee got to locking in a new majority, first pulling in Stevie to get rid of Paige and assured him that under no circumstances are they to tell Flick, Matt, Paige or Ben. George then floated the idea with Gerry, who was also very much on board given he wanted to mix things up. And admitted Paige can be hard work.

After locking in the 4-3-1 vote – given Ben’s is irrelevant at this point – and filling me with joy, Paige decided to ruin everything and pulled Flick and Matt aside to talk about getting rid of George instead, given the meat heads are too scared of him making the merge and told her to do it. Flick wisely cautioned them that they need to decide whether it is better to stay hero strong, or to get rid of Ben. Right on cue, Ben arrived who assured them all that the OG Heroes would be so proud of them if they managed to get rid of George. While Paige once again acted like Ben has given any reason not to trust him. He then pointed out that they need to try and woo Gerry to their side if they want it to work, with Ben offering to do it while Flick wisely suggested they should all try, given he hasn’t exactly felt the love from the original Heroes tribe. 

Up first, Ben pointed out that he and Gerry were both kind of on the bottom of the OG Heroes and as such, they need to make a decision that would save them in the long run. Gerry the icon told him he wasn’t willing to commit to anything yet, before all the Heroes obviously pulled him aside to take their shot. While Shonee quietly watched on as it all unfolded. Feeling confident, Paige went off to relax, while Shonee decided to act on the nervous energy; pulling George aside to warn him that something is afoot as the Heroes hung out, gleefully talking about taking out the King as Shonee assured us that while she doesn’t want to play the idol, if that is what it takes, she will.

At tribal council George and Shonee joked about being frequent flyers while Paige spoke about how it was too soon to deem any of the newbies heroic. Eyeroll. George spoke about this tribal council drawing a line in the sand and letting people know where they stand. Paige said that she doesn’t focus on goals when voting, given they all have the same – I mean, duh, but also WHAT? – while Flick spoke about how scary tribal council always is. Shonee brought some intelligent strategy to the table, telling JLP that if you have enough conversations, you can build trust and prove that you can add value to people’s games long term and meet those goals. Gerry meanwhile spoke about having loyalty to people, but he doesn’t know if he has it from others. And while trust takes forever to build, it can break just as quickly.

George felt like Gerry should be able to trust him and he hopes they are still friends, while Paige started whispering to Flick that she is sure they can get George out. Shonee meanwhile admitted she isn’t feeling as confident as George, while Matt spoke about being very nervous given the OG Heroes were whispering. Paige had a big shit eating grin talking about how confident she is that her conversations from the afternoon will hold firm. George meanwhile wanted tonight’s vote to bring a group of people together that will be able to run the game and make it to the end. Like a shared goal, even.

With that the tribe voted, Shonee wisely opted to play one of her idols on George as Paige looked ready to shit her pants, realising that her genius plan didn’t exactly account for an idol. As four votes piled up on George the cocky Heroes grew less and less confident as the rest came in on Paige, sending her out of the game in tears of rage. And ugh, it was GLORIOUS. As was Flick congratulating them as Shonee reminded her that the whispering tipped her off, given this is not her first rodeo.

Paige was still rather annoyed by the time she arrived at Loser Lodge and despite myself, I told her to hold her head high and be proud of the game she played. While her confidence and the paranoia of the game turned her quite bossy in the last few episodes, she started off strong, building a lot of trust with her allies and firmly placing her in the Heroes majority. Sadly though she was undone by two of the best at the game in George and Shonee, meaning she had to settle for some pre-merge comfort in the form of Paige Donarred Greens.

Given the off-screen drama that fueled Rogue to hate on Paige so much, it was kinda poetic that both of them ended up with vegetarian dishes. But when they taste as good and wholesome as this, it is hard to pass up. A little spicy with a hint of tang, this is the perfect side for a Sunday roast. Of ethically farmed meat, obvi.

Enjoy!

Paige Donarred Greens
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
3 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, diced
5 garlic cloves, minced
6 cups collard greens (aka borekale), washed and dried, removed from the main stems and bruised
2 bay leaves
1L chicken stock
¼ cup lemon juice
1 tbsp raw caster sugar
1 tsp chilli flakes
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Place the oil in a large pot over medium heat and saute the onion and garlic for about ten minutes or so, or until sweet and tender. Add the bay leaves and cook for another minute or so.

Slice the greens into 3cm thick ribbons and add to the pot along with the stock, juice, sugar and chilli. Bring to the boil, reduce to a simmer and cook, stirring infrequently, for about  an hour or until the greens are gloriously soft and the liquid reduced. Season with a good whack of salt and pepper before devouring with your favourite roast. 

Or on its own, whatever.


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Frasausage Melack

Keeping it Kardashian Khristmas, Main, Sandwich, Snack, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Gerry joined the Villains as a spy, though after being welcomed so warmly, he embraced his new tribe and well, rose to the top with George and Shiz. After the Heroes narrowly took out immunity – thanks to Benjamin and Paige slaying with some signing to stealthily solve the puzzle – Simon was ready to finally take the shot on George, given he has an immunity idol – lol – and a group of allies behind him to seize power. Sadly, Shonee realised she, Liz and George couldn’t trust Sarah and as such, whipped everyone into a frenzy to take out the swing vote instead of taking a shot, Sarah, who definitely didn’t push Miss Greece down the stairs.

The next day the Heroes were talking about how small their tribe feels without Gerry, while Sharni in particular was still annoyed at how things played out. Despite Sharni loving the idea of playing with loyalty, I live for how annoyed she is at the tribe. Realising she was annoyed, Sam checked in with her with Sharni talking about how desperately she was hoping Gerry survived, knowing it spoke to how strong a game he can play. And how kind he is.

Speaking of Gerry, he was living his best life at the Villains camp, smashing some rice in awe of the waves on their beach. And TBH, he did not really want to go back to his old tribe anymore, given they are so kind and he just clicked with Shonee, Liz and George. This glorious foursome were hunting for wood as Gerry grew more and more nervous about returning to the Heroes, given they stitched him up. Despite the initial purpose being to get goss for the Heroes, he pointed out to his new besties – he is Old Spice in the alliance, FYI – that Simon needs to go ASAP as if he makes the swap, he will immediately align with the alphas running the Heroes and as such, he is down to get rid of him. Though sadly George spoke about it in front of Simon.

As Simon prepared to go for a swim, he could barely hide his disdain for George who was trying to make conversation. As he was chilling out, Liz called his bestie Jordie over to point out what happened, with him realising that his ally is getting way too toxic for the tribe. And that night under the cover of darkness, Jordie and George caught up about how to navigate the escalating tensions, while Jordie shared with us that now just might be the time to play Simon and George off against each other and give the rest of them a break.

The tribes reconvened with Jonathan for the immunity challenge where the Heroes were delighted to see Gerry had survived the previous tribal council. Well, until JLP got cheeky and offered him the choice between sticking with the Villains and returning to the Heroes in which case they got super awkward, until he opted to return to them. While the Villains were left reeling, Jonathan explained that to win immunity they would face off in trios to push a ball into a goal in the water with the first tribe to two securing victory. First up were Shiz and Simon opposite Flick, Hayley and Shaun, with the Heroes obviously taking out the first point, despite some heroic fighting from Shonee. As George whispered from the sidelines that Simon’s desire to face Shaun is hurting their chances. Jordie, Fraser and George then faced off against Sam, David and Matt with the Heroes quickly scoring immunity despite some epic fighting from George. As Stevie muttered about getting rid of George on the sidelines.

Back at camp the tribe spoke about how disappointed they were to lose Gerry before everything descended into absolute chaos. Simon’s faction were thrilled to be able to take out their biggest nemesis, George. With Simon feeling particularly confident, given he has the idol – he doesn’t – and a loyal bestie in Jordie – debatable. He caught up with Stevie who was thrilled to jump on board getting rid of George while Simon coached him on how to sell his desire to get rid of him to Shiz and George. After thanking Stevie for protecting him after all he has done to protect him, Stevie came up with some codes before they split up to scramble. Stevie went to George to tell him how he is over Simon bossing him around, while Simon caught up with Shiz who questioned why George and Stevie were even talking.

Jordie meanwhile continued to question what is the best path forward given Simon is abrasive and rubbing everyone the wrong way. He approached Fraser and outlined everything, telling him that they now have a decision to make. Ready to lock in with George and Shiz – knowing that joining the alpha alliance would be his undoing – Jordie told them about Simon’s idol, telling them they need to make sure he has no clue about the vote to guarantee he doesn’t play it. After getting Fraser over the line, the group locked in their plan as Liz worried about Simon crying once he is blindsided with an idol. Again. Feeling uber confident, Simon then caught up with George to assure him that he knows they need each other and that Stevie will be going home tonight.

While Shiz spoke about how much they are looking forward to Simon going home.

At tribal council George spoke about how disappointed he was that Gerry left them, despite the Heroes voting him out previously. That being said, he accepts the fact he felt safer amongst a tribe of athletes that consistently win challenges. Which obviously annoyed Simon. As George spoke about wanting to focus on getting rid of the weak, Simon angrily told him he can’t exactly vote for himself, while George calmly thanked him for calling him weak. Liz spoke about being sick of the tension, while Stevie felt something needed to be done while Jordie cautioned everyone needed to come together otherwise they will all be screwed. George meanwhile spoke about how much he achieved in his first seasons and as such, he doesn’t feel like he needs to build a legacy because he already has one while not every returnee can say that.

Growing more irate, Simon sassed out George, asking why he doesn’t want to win, rubbing salt in his wounds for Hayley beating him. Jordie grew more and more exasperated, assuring everyone to trust in the last conversations they had, with Shonee agreeing it was for the best. As they seemingly tried to wrap things up, JLP decided to throw a spanner in the works, announcing that tonight’s tribal council will be a little different as while they are still booting someone from the game, it won’t happen until after they have competed in a little individual immunity challenge.

With that Jonathan and the Villains relocated to a field outside tribal council  where they would each race to build poles long enough to release a flint from a post before building a fire big enough to burn through a rope. Simon quickly built his pole, though failed to release his flint as he and George started to bicker. While quietly working away, Shonee made her first attempt before failing as Simon tried again and jagged his flint. As George and Shiz looked ready to murder him, Liz quietly cheered on Jordie, willing him to close the gap and keep the plan from falling apart. Though it was all for nothing as Simon built a large fire and jagged immunity, while George turned his attention to scrambling. As Simon tried to squeak out a tear over how proud he is to win immunity.

After returning to tribal council, George and Shiz went to one corner of tribal council while the rest of the tribe went to another. George told Shiz to join the boys and act like he is going home, while he intended to create war and chaos amongst them. When Shiz approached them however, Simon loudly told them all to go sit down and open it up to the floor instead. While Liz requested he calm down. Simon spoke about his pride at having immunity, particularly since he knows he was likely copping votes tonight. George piped up and said that he was told that Stevie was going home, meaning the plan had clearly changed multiple times. Stevie said that came as a shock to him, while George asked Simon why he was told that plan.

Simon said that he told multiple people different things to keep things from blowing up, while George doubled down on how much Simon throws out way too many options. Stevie questioned why Simon threw out his name ahead of the second tribal council, while Simon desperately tried to assure him they were close and how much he values their friendship. George pointed out that Simon’s attitude shows he takes the game way too personally and he really needs to correct if he wants to last much further. Before ominously pointing out that the numbers will speak loudest tonight.

The groups split up to lock in their plans, with George filling Shiz in on the fact he has an idol and that he will be playing it but making things as uncomfortable as possible before the votes are read. While Simon forced the boys to lock in on George. After returning to their seats, Simon attempted to apologise to Shonee and Liz, with the later pointing out he clearly has no respect for them or their games before he and George grew more and more hostile with each other. That led to Jordie jumping in and reminding them that this is a game and it is meant to be fun, rather than them speaking to each other like absolute trash. To which Jonathan agreed, as George ominously shared that he is looking forward to a little bit of fun.

With that the tribe voted – Simon of all people telling George to treat people with respect – as George pulled out his idol as the last person – Stevie – stood up to vote, leading to laughter from Jordie and Fraser as Simon asked him who was going home, then. He then started taunting Simon, asking if he would be playing his idol to save Stevie and prove whether he is a hero or a villain. Sadly he took it one step further though, pointing out that Jordie is coming for him and told everyone about his idol. Which is worse than what Dani did in their first season, given Jordie pretends to be his bestie. He then told Simon to play his idol for Stevie and prove he is good, before Simon asked Jordie what was true. Jordie admitted to everything, knowing the numbers were against him and shared that he voted against Stevie.

George then double down, telling Simon his smartest move was to play the idol for Stevie and guarantee that one of the people that have been disloyal to him goes home and wake up tomorrow in power with him and Shiz, a clean slate between them and the knowledge that he only has one more traitor to get rid of before they swap. Simon held firm, pointing out that somebody needs to go while George turned his attention to Stevie, apologising and pointing out he desperately wanted to wake up with him tomorrow morning. Simon then offered a heartfelt apology to Stevie who was flabbergasted that Simon had turned on him while George pointed out that he will know who he can trust when he wakes up the next morning.

Which should have been a clue that all was not as it seems as two votes piled up on George – which did not count – and a pair came in for Stevie before George, Shonee and Liz’s votes piled up on Fraser. Brilliantly ruining Simon’s game and locking in Stevie as a number for George. And ugh, it was hard to watch for most of the time, but that was an epic tribal council. As was Stevie telling Simon they are not friends as he tried to apologise.

By the time Fraser arrived at Loser Lodge he was relieved to be away from the drastically escalating tensions, disappointed to be out of the game and a teeny tiny bit excited to be the person going home after such a memorable tribal council. I pulled him in for a hug and assured him that there was honestly nothing he could have done amidst the chaos that had unfolded over the course of the night and as such, he should still be proud of the game he had played. Oh and of course, rest easy knowing that being the person eliminated after the biggest tribal council of the series pretty much guarantees him a second shot. Which cheered him up almost as much as the piping hot Frasausage Melack I whipped up.

While I know a melt is nothing more than a toasted sandie, there is something so soothing about them that I instantly put them on a pedestal over a classic toastie. Though maybe it is because they focus even more heavily on cheese, which is essentially my personality and life at this point. Add in a little sausage and you know I’m in heaven.

Enjoy!

Frasausage Melack
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
2 onions, thinly sliced
1 red capsicum, seeded and sliced
2 tsp chilli flakes
salt and pepper, to taste
500g Italian sausage, casings removed
8 slices sourdough
¼ cup Shayonnaise Swain
1 cup provolone cheese
1 cup mozzarella cheese
¼ cup butter

Method
Pop the oil in a large skillet over medium heat and saute the onions and capsicums for about ten minutes, or until nice and soft. Add the chilli flakes, season and cook for a further minute or so before removing from the heat.

Shape the sausage meat into four thin patties and add to the still hot pan and cook for a couple of minutes each side until cooked. Remove from heat and wipe out the pan.

To assemble the sandwiches, smear the mayo on each slice of bread before dividing half the cheeses on four of the slices. Top with the onion and capsicum, followed by the patties and the rest of the cheese. Close the sandwiches with the remaining bread and smear some butter on the top of each.

Pop the clean skillet over medium heat again and place the sandwiches buttered side down on the pan and cook for a few minutes. Butter the tops of the sandwiches before flipping and cooking for a further couple of minutes. Serve immediately, cut in half of course, and devour.


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