Previously on Survivor South Africa three tribes of seven South Africans were abandoned on the Samoan islands to backstab and blindside each other. Seventeen have left – including Lee-Anne, Paul, Ting Ting – yes, we’re doing it – Rose-Lee, Felix, Tania, Rocco, Nathan, Meryl, Geoffrey, Seipei, Dante, Cobus, Mmaba, Jacques, Mike and Steffi – leaving Durao, Nicole, Rob and Laetitia to battle it out for victory. Durao was on the periphery for most of the game, before loyally destroying every chance to blindside Rob throughout the merge. Nicole cried, Rob dominated and Laetitia was a total fucking icon.
When it came down to the final four, Rob won yet another immunity and ruined any chance of a blindside. And while Laetitia tried her hardest to talk her way into the final three – and she came really close – her killer argument proved just how big of a threat she would be if she found herself in front of the jury. As such, she found herself joining it instead.
At tribal council Durao was read for being Rob’s biggest fan and completely shut out of the vote, leaving Rob and Nicole to battle it out for the title. And while they both clearly articulated just how dominant of a game they each played, Nicole’s hyper personal – and a little preachy – game rubbed the jury the wrong way but not even a genuine, solid apology was able to win enough of them over, handing Rob the win.
A very well deserved win.
As he arrived at Ponderosa, I pulled him in for a massive hug and congratulated him on a game well played. Despite the fact the merge dragged on a little bit, the reason it did, was because of how well Rob played the game. And that is always worthy of a piping hot celebratory Robotie Bentele.
A little pot pie is always a win. Particularly when it comes with a golden little quiche-esque topping. Spicy, rich and oh-so-warming, it is the perfect meal for a cold winter night. Or to mark a dominant victory.
Enjoy!
Robotie Bentele Serves: 6.
Ingredients ½ cup panko breadcrumbs 1 cup milk 2 tbsp olive oil 1 onion, diced 1 carrot, peeled and cut into half moons 6 garlic cloves, minced 5cm piece ginger, minced 1kg beef mince 2 tbsp hot curry powder 5 fresh curry leaves, finely chopped ½ cup raisins 2 tbsp slivered almonds, toasted 2 tbsp fruit chutney 1 cup beef stock 1 lemon, zested and juiced salt and pepper, to taste 2 eggs ½ tsp ground turmeric
Method Preheat the oven to 180C, and soak the breadcrumbs in half of the milk.
Heat the oil in a dutch oven over medium heat, and cook the onion and carrot for five minutes until golden and soft. Add the garlic and ginger and cook for a further minute, or until fragrant. Add the mince and cook, breaking up with a wooden spoon, until browned. Stir in the curry powder and leaves, raisins and almonds, and cook for a couple of minutes before stirring in the chutney, stock, zest and juice and soaked breadcrumbs. Season with a good whack of salt and pepper, bring to the boil and reduce heat to low and simmer for five minutes.
Pop the mince into an ovenproof dish and pop in the oven to bake for 30 minutes. While the meat is getting gorgeously thick, beat the egg and turmeric with the remaining milk. Remove the dish from the oven and pour the eggy mixture over the top, before returning to the oven to cook for 20 minutes or until set.
Previously on Survivor South Africa the final three awoke on Day 39, overjoyed to make it to the end and ready to plead their case in front of the jury. Nicole was looking forward to owning her game and proving the haters wrong about her lying, while Rob was rightly confident in how dominant he played. While Durao was looking forward to talking about how strong he played by protecting Rob. Sadly you can tell one of these pitches is not like the other, so when they arrived at final tribal council, it was no shock that Jacques told Durao he had no chance of winning the game. So I pulled him aside for his loser meal early.
Jacques then congratulated Rob and Nicole on playing well, though explained that they seem to be a pair and as such, it is hard to tell who actually played the better game. He then wished them all luck and sat back down. Mike told Durao that he still has a shot if he can give a decent answer, asking why he was so loyal to Rob. Durao said it was because he felt like he was protected from bullies by Rob. Mike then roasted Nicole’s game, though asked her to articulate her game as despite it being horribly personal, it was good. Nicole said that the personal connections were all real, though she played hard because she needed to. Seipei asked Rob to explain his journey, with him saying that he found family at Sa’ula and planned to stay loyal to the end. Only when Seipei suggested that they vote out Steffi and Nicole, did he realise that she needed to go. Seipei called bullshit though, and said that his loyalty until crossed approach, has made him cross more people than he needed to.
Geoffrey got up just to point out that Nicole is horrible and pathetic. Dante jumped up to call out Rob for being threatened by him and went in on him for saying he stole food from him, until Rob congratulated him for being strong and apologised. Mmaba tried to have Durao’s back and advocate for him, before asking Rob how his ‘safe’ game was better than Durao’s. To his credit, Rob mentioned that he didn’t want to put anyone down and told her to swing Durao a vote, thank you, goodbye, next. Cobus got up to share that he will vote for the person he likes best and then would factor in the game. He told Nicole that he likes her best, though needed her to explain her malicious behaviour to win him back over. She reiterated the personal connections were all real but her loyalty to Rob is the reason she had to ice people, and she was starting to regret bonding with everyone if it has hurt them.
Laetitia asked Rob and Nicole to explain why they deserve to win, with Rob focusing on his challenge prowess and knowing that the jury hates Nicole and as such, he knew it was the best strategy to take her to the end. Nicole countered that she played harder than Rob simply because she had to, not winning immunities and having her back against the wall as a middle-aged woman. Meryl said that she related to Nicole as a mother and felt selfish for coming out to play the game, therefore was unsure how Nicole could talk about being brave when she was just as selfish as her.
Steffi wrapped things up by congratulating everyone on making the end before asking Rob what drove the amigo alliance, with Rob saying it was love. She then questioned why he ignored that and didn’t approach her to find out why she was trying to target him. Steffi then asked Nicole how she could think of herself as a role model, then didn’t let her answer before asking Rob whether he believed she wouldn’t have turned on him if she had the chance. Once again, that question was rhetorical, as Steffi cussed them out for humiliating her two tribals ago. Which, preach. Rob then pointed out that he had red flags about her around the family visit, when she didn’t appear surprised to see her friend and then barely spoke to her, he realised that they already caught up at the Island of Secrets. She then admitted to lying and then apologised to Rob and Nicole and honestly, I am fucking confused.
Nico gave the final three one last chance to explain their games, with Durao mentioning that he used his charm and charisma to get to the end. While he compromised his integrity at times and knew that people may have found him to be a bit of a joke, he had a great time and is just happy to be there. Swoon. Rob then spoke about owning the Island of Secrets before actually getting to the point, talking about controlling every single vote and knowing everything that was going on at any given moment. And also won a shit tonne of immunities … and his competitors are only here because he wanted them here, which is super true.
Nicole then tried to start by thanking everyone in the jury and the other finalists, before saying she fought hard, tried her best physically and knowing she couldn’t rely on it, had to dominate strategically. She then apologised for hurting people, but knew that she had to use her personal connections to ride to the end with an alliance, even if she threw herself under the bus in the process. She then said that while Rob knew everything that was happening, it was her connections and intel that gave him said information. With that the jury voted and as promised, Durao received no votes and wound up in third place.
The votes finally rolled in and after landing at four votes a piece, Rob pulled away with the last two, winning the title of Sole Survivor. And leaving poor Nicole in second place. Despite just experiencing an absolute roasting from the jury, Nicole was still happy as she arrived at Ponderosa. While I may have been bored by their dominant games, there is no denying that Nicole played a strong game. And as is often the case for a woman using social connections to survive, the jury kind of treated her unfairly. Which thankfully was all it took to have her feeling great and ready to celebrate her run with a fresh, hot Nicole Capperlaka.
Part sauce, part stew, part beans, chakalaka sounds like a bit of a hodge-podge to non-South Africans, but trust me, it is delicious. Spicy and rich, it is oh so soothing.
Enjoy!
Nicole Capperlaka Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 tbsp olive oil 1 onion, diced 8 garlic cloves, minced 1 green chillies, thinly sliced 2cm piece ginger, finely grated 2 tbsp hot curry powder 1 red capsicum, diced 1 yellow capsicum, diced 1 green capsicum, diced 4 carrots, grated 2 tbsp tomato paste 800g can diced tomatoes 1 tsp paprika ½ tsp smoked paprika ½ tsp ground cardamom 2 tsp dried thyme 400g can navy beans salt and pepper, to taste
Method Heat the oil in a dutch oven over medium heat, and sweat the onion for five minutes, or until soft and starting to brown. Stir in the garlic, chilli and ginger, and cook for another couple of minutes before stirring in the curry paste and a quarter of a cup of water to stop it catching.
Add the capsicum and carrots, and cook stirring for a couple of minutes to coat before adding the tomato paste, tomatoes, paprika, smoked paprika, cardamom, thyme and navy beans. Bring to the boil, reduce heat and simmer for 15 minutes until the vegetables are soft and the sauce has thickened.
Serve with some bread and devour, like a proud runner-up.
Previously on Survivor South Africa Laetitia had well and truly had it, officially after the tribe banded together to humiliate Steffi on her way out the door. And boy was it fun watching her go all scorched earth. First she pulled Rob aside and threw Nicole straight under the bus, pointing out that she was planning to blindside him before he won immunity. Which obviously led to a patented infuriating Nicole speech. Sadly when Rob won final immunity, Nicole was claiming it as a victory of her own. At tribal council Laeitita continued to scalp Nicole and while she did an impeccable job of guaranteeing Nicole doesn’t win the game, she proved to Rob and Durao that she was the real threat and as such, found herself becoming the final juror.
The final three awoke on Day 39 laughing about how they got there, mocking Nicole’s penchant for lying and Durao’s confusion, and honestly it just isn’t cute and I am over it. Give the money to Laetitia and our pre-jury Queen Tania. Nicole laughed about how – wait for it – epic the final tribal council will be when she fights back at everyone that comes for her impeccable social game. Particularly Steffi, who she anticipates will be out for blood. To her credit though, she plans to explain her lies and how they differ from her lie about being virtuous. Rob was less nervous, knowing that he is clearly the frontrunner while Durao planned to see himself as the victor because he protected Rob the entire time. Which is a feather in Rob’s cap, not his.
Given it seems like a forgone conclusion, we pivoted immediately to final tribal council where Jacques kicked off the proceedings, letting Durao know he made the merge being respected but tonight sits here with 0 shot at winning. Which is 100% true, so let’s pause it right there and celebrate – and I use the term loosely – our third place finisher. Despite starting out strong and full of hope, when he came into Rob’s orbit, he simply became his number and all hope was lost. Making him the first Mariano – don’t fact check me – to not win the game. Which is a shame requiring a big bowl of Bunnão Chouzo Mariano to distract from the pain.
Despite what the name bunny chow would have you believe, it does not contain bunny and it is actually delicious. I mean, it is a curry served in a cob loaf. Need I say more?
Enjoy!
Bunnão Chouzo Mariano Serves: 4-6.
Ingredients 2 tbsp olive oil 2 onions, diced 10 garlic cloves, minced 5cm piece ginger, grated 4 bay leaves 2 small cinnamon sticks 1 tbsp ground turmeric 1⁄4 cup garam masala 800g crushed tomatoes 1kg lamb shoulder, diced 2 tbsp kosher salt 3 potatoes, peeled and diced 2 cups chicken stock 1 cob loaf coriander, to serve
Method Heat the oil in a large dutch oven and sweat the onions, garlic and ginger for a few minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the bay leaves, cinnamon, turmeric and garam masala and cook for a minute before stirring in the crushed tomatoes. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for 5 minutes.
Add the lamb and salt, and stir to coat. Simmer for a further 15 minutes, or until cooked through. Add the potatoes and chicken stock, bring to the boil again, reduce heat to low and simmer for 45 minutes.
To serve, carve out the centre of the cob and fill with the curry and top with a sprinkling of coriander. And devour, eating away your feelings.
Previously on Survivor South Africa Rob and Nicole had managed to successfully navigate the game while hanging on to their idols, while poor Jacques played his and then was beaten to the rehidden one by Laetitia, sealing his fate and sending him from the game. Just ahead of the family visit. Laetitia continued to rise to power, bringing in the women to form the newest black widow brigade. Until she told Rob about her idol at the family visit with Steffi. Meanwhile Nicole was seething to have missed out on family visit, leading to Rob feeling super nervous at tribal if he didn’t have immunity. While Mike tried to flip the game at tribal council, the amigos outplayed him and sent him from the game.
Back at camp Durao was feeling pretty salty, finally realising that Rob is someone that he shouldn’t have placed his trust in. Sensing drama Rob tried to talk about how hard the lying is on everyone, before sharing with us he is still loyal to Nicole and Steffi. Speaking of Nicole and Steffi, they were joining up with Laetitia to lock in their final three deal. Laetitia spilled the tea about her idol, leading to Nicole finally fessing up that she is also the proud owner of an idol which she assured Steffi that she always planned to use it for her. Nicole then reminded us that the key to their success in moving forward together is making sure that they never speak of it again to avoid making Rob feel nervous and you just know that is going to backfire on them.
The next day the tribe lazily tended to camp, counting down to the end of the game with Steffi reiterating that Durao can not be looped in on the Rob plan given he runs his mouth at the drop of a hat. She and Laetitia then caught up by the well, with Laetitia questioning why Nicole kept her idol a secret from Steffi and whether she is legitimately loyal to them. Speaking of Nicole, Rob approached her to apologise for leaving her out of the family visit and she pledged her undying loyalty to him and assured him that she wants him to shine and hot damn, is she being serious? In any event, Rob couldn’t see any issues for his game and that is making him nervous. Which makes me feel like we’re screwed with a boring endgame.
Nico arrived to add some intrigue to the proceedings with the latest reward challenge where everyone would need to balance a goblet on the end of an ever expanding pole to see giant bats, which sound fucking terrifying, and a boozey picnic, which sounds glorious. After adding five lengths of pole Steffi found herself the first person eliminated, quickly followed by Laetitia and Durao who just couldn’t keep it up. The sixth segment proved to be Nicole’s undoing, handing Rob yet another victory. He then sent Laetitia to the Island of Secrets before Nico gave him the opportunity to share the reward with one person, opting to take Nicole as a peace offering for her missing the family visit.
On reward the duo quickly smashed all the hot dogs and chips that they could fit before once again pledging their loyalty to each other, with Nicole reassuring us that she is all in on the girls alliance. She then made a misstep however and told Rob that last night she told Steffi and Laetita about the idol JIC he overheard their plans to get rid of him. Rob then spoke about the spectacle of everyone playing their idols at the next tribal council, with Nicole desperately hoping to convince Rob that it would be more impressive if they were to all pull out their idols at the final three and gloat about beating everyone without needing them. And while it is a terrible plan to mock the people voting for you to win, it seemed to work and kept Rob happy.
Laetitia arrived at the Island of Secrets to discover that she had been gifted a vote nullifier which lasts until the final four, filling her with hope that the girls will make it to the final three together as long as Nicole keeps her mouth shut. Meanwhile back at camp Steffi was worrying about not blindsiding Rob sooner, breaking down that she thinks she has completely blown the game for herself. She and Durao then bonded over some chicken, hugging out their differences and trying to find some common ground.
The next day Steffi was feeling more confident about executing the perfect blindside on Rob, taking the glorious sunrise as a sign that they will succeed. Nicole too was feeling desperate to take out immunity, terrified that Rob will snatch it and ruin their plan while Rob was desperate to make sure Durao doesn’t win. As such Nico appeared for the immunity challenge where the five castaways wandered around a maze to find five bags of puzzle pieces, before returning to the start and solving the epic tower puzzle. Rob and Durao were neck and neck out in front, with the ladies all close behind. Rob started to edge ahead, with everyone but Laetitia vying for second place. Rob and Steffi dropped their third bags as Laetitia arrived with her second, as Rob continued to extend his lead. Durao and Rob started on their puzzle first, with Steffi and Nicole desperately trying to close the gap and Laetitia meandered around to find her final bag. Nicole closed the gap on the first layer of the puzzle, though struggled with the second and allowed Rob to pull ahead and snatch immunity yet again.
With their plan in tatters, Steffi decided that getting rid of Durao is their only shot. Rob was blissfully unaware about their planned deceit, looking forward to go to the end with his amigos. Steffi pulled Rob, Nicole and Laetitia aside to discuss the idea of everyone walking in with their hidden immunity idols hanging from their necks to show how loyal they are to each other. Laetitia then lied about her trip to the Island of Secrets and wisely said that she got nothing, though that made Nicole nervous that she was lying given the island always gives you something. Nicole then said that she needs to focus on making decisions that serve her and nobody else. She and the girls caught up, with Laetitia continuing to stay silent before they agreed that voting out Durao is their only option. NIcole then decided to approach Rob, while Laetitia used the time alone with Steffi to tell her about the nullifier and pledge their undying loyalty to each other.
Nicole then destroyed any chance of us experiencing joy, telling Rob about the women’s alliance and throwing all the blame on Steffi. She then complained about Steffi not celebrating men that support strong women, and suggested that the two of them go to Durao to come up with a plan B. And honestly, Nicole is psycho and I don’t know whether I like her cold-hearted gameplay or am terrified of her. She then reassured us that she trusts Rob and needs to eliminate Steffi, the threat, when she can. Unaware of his last minute reprieve, Durao lamented to Rob about his upcoming boot before Rob assured him that something may be in the works to keep him safe.
At tribal council Rob spoke about winning immunity only being to keep it out of someone else’s hands. Durao reiterated how out of the loop he has been all game, unaware that it makes him look stupid in front of the jury. He then outed the alliance and said that in all likelihood he is going home tonight and given Laetitia is unlikely to win the final immunity, she will be next. Queen Laetitia ignored his shade and said that the game is full of unknowns and it won’t change until the end of tribal council. Steffi spoke about how much she trusts in her fellow amigos, which didn’t seem to bug Laeitia who assured Durao that she too is an amigo. Much to the confusion of the jury, who don’t understand why nobody is making a move against the amigos. Rob spoke about the depth of their trust and told Durao and Laetitia that it will not be broken. Rob then got biblical, shading Durao for breaking trust and pointed out that it is going to come back to bite him. Nicole then jumped on the Icarus metaphor and hot damn, they are being nasty about turning on Steffi aren’t they?
With that the tribe voted before Nicole set off the fun with the idols, pulling her’s out and playing it for Durao for being a strong man. Rob then played his for Nicole, leaving a shocked Laetitia to play hers for herself leaving Steffi as the only person eligible to receive votes. And receive them she did, getting two votes while Durao’s two and Laetitia’s were all nullified.
Steffi was pretty gutted to find herself betrayed by Nicole and not taking a shot at Rob sooner, though was glad to have made it as far as she did. And to go out in a brutally memorable way. I mean, getting Cirie’d as punishment is a level of petty I aspire to. But anyway, I told Steffi that while I was annoyed that she was swept up in Nicole’s sanctimonious ways, I am proud that she eventually tried to take a shot at Rob and that is enough to earn a piping hot Steffi Potbrinkos.
While a stew isn’t anything flashy, there is no denying that they are one of the true great sources of comfort. And with chicken that melts in your mouth and a tonne of veggies, this one is damn near perfection. Add in the wine and you’ve got the perfect recipe to dull the post boot pain.
Enjoy!
Steffi Potbrinkos Serves: 6-8.
Ingredients 2 tbsp olive oil 2 tbsp butter 2 onions, diced 6 garlic cloves, minced 250g streaky bacon, diced 1kg chicken breasts, diced 1 carrot, peeled, halved and cut into half-moons 4 sticks celery, sliced 1 cup chicken stock 1 cup white wine 3 zucchinis, cut into 2cm discs 250g mushrooms, sliced 250g baby corn 10 sage leaves 2 tbsp thyme 250ml cream salt and pepper, to taste
Method Place the oil and butter in a dutch oven over medium heat and once foaming, add the onion and garlic and cook for five minutes or until soft and fragrant. Add bacon and cook for a further couple of minutes. Add the chicken, carrot and celery and cook for a couple of minutes before adding the stock and wine. Bring to the boil, reduce to a simmer, cover and cook for an hour. Stirring infrequently.
Once the stew has reduced slightly, bring the heat back up and add the zucchini, mushroom, corn, sage and thyme and cook for a further 15 minutes, or until the liquid is pretty much gone. Reduce heat, stir through the cream and season with a good whack of salt and pepper, and cook until warmed through.
Serve immediately with a generous mound of fresh bread. To sop up the stew and your tears.
Previously on Survivor South Africa Mmaba was blindsided with an idol in her pocket which triggered Mike to realise that he was in fact on the outs, despite whatever Nicole and Rob had been telling him. Rob took the blame for the move and threw Steffi under the bus with him, since they already had targets firmly on their back anyway. The reward challenge was a game of reward roulette, with Steffi blocking Jacques’ trip to the Island of Secrets where she got to spend time with her friend, who thankfully pushed her to start playing the game for a change. After Mike took out a much needed immunity, the girls solidified their final three deal, while Rob tried to rally the boys to votes Steffi. Jacques tried to find an idol to save himself, which Laetitia snatched from under his nose, leading to him exiting the game.
The tribe were feeling relieved after tribal council except for Steffi, who was annoyed that someone – named Rob – orchestrated the other votes to go her way. This fired her up to finally take him out, trying to figure out how best to get Nicole on board with the blindside of their OG ally.
The next morning Rob approached a pensive ally by the shore to make sure that they were still good, explaining that he had to put all the votes on one target to ensure a correct idol play if necessary. While Steffi put on a happy face, she did not buy it for a second and had a much stronger resolve to boot him asap and make it to the final day. Their cold war was interrupted by the arrival of treemail announcing the reward challenge which is clearly a loved ones challenge. Wait, no, Nicole is still focusing on plotting, agreeing that sticking with the girls is her best bet and hot damn is Queen Laetitia wins, I stan.
Nico arrived for the combined reward and immunity challenge which would be completed in pairs, quickly wheeled out everyone’s loved ones to help them compete. Nicole’s boyfriend seemed super sweet as she broke down in his arms and introduced himself like the polite angel he is, Durao’s mum is a fucking icon and needs to compete on a Blood vs. Water season yesterday, Laetitia’s daughter came out dressed in matching outfits with her mum and solidified the icon’s winner edit. Steffi’s friend came back for a more low-key reunion as they pretended not to bond last episode, Rob’s mum is also BAE and needs to appear next season before Mike’s dad came out to hold his son as he sobbed in his arms.
With that out of the way, Nico announced that the loved ones would do the lion’s share of the challenge, untying a bunch of knots to open a box with a crate of sandbags and a key, which they use to unlock their tethered castaway before they come together to throw said sacks at a punch of idols, with the first to knock all of theirs down scoring immunity and a huge brai back at camp. Rob’s mum and Laetitia’s daughter got out to an early lead, with Steffi, Nicole and Durao’s loved ones close behind and Mike’s dad left, right out. Rob knocked an idol off before being joined by Laetitia, Nicole and Steffi. Eventually everyone arrived at the end, with Laetitia chucking her sandbags at Nico before Rob took out the win before anyone even got on the board. After handing over the necklace Nico announced that he and his mum could invite two other pairs to join him for the brai, while the rest of the castaways are sent to the Island of Secrets. Rob told everyone he was picking Laetitia because she is old and may die soon – no shit – before selecting Steffi because he is sick of her being hangry, immediately making Nicole break down.
Back at camp the victors proudly showed off the camp to their family before getting down to their BBQ and smashing some wines. They then toasted to their success, with Rob working the girls hard by praising them as the only reason they have stuck together. Steffi then came clean about her last trip to the Island of Secrets, pretending she just found out about the family visit early rather than getting to spend a day with her bestie. Rob started to feel nervous about leaving Nicole out of the reward given how distraught she was, despite knowing she was the best person to look after the boys and make sure they don’t try anything. Then Queen Laetitia told everyone that she found an immunity idol and hot damn, why did you do this Laetitia?
At the Island of Secrets Nicole had stopped crying long enough to discover that they would receive nothing and return to the game for tribal council. Nicole then shared her pain about missing her children with the boys, explaining how hard it was to miss out on reward and not get an update about how they are going. Mike tried to throw Rob under the bus, pointing out all his lies and wondering why he fed Steffi when he said that he was targeting her. Ever loyal Durao tried to deflect from his close friend’s lies, though Mike was undeterred, suggesting that they all load their votes on Steffi and stay strong together.
Back at camp Laetitia showed off her idol to her daughter, vowing that she will fight tooth and nail to get to the end. Laetitia, Steffi and their loved ones got together to strategise, after Steffi chastised her for sharing the news about the idol. Then they furthered the plot to get rid of Mike at the next tribal council, then use her idol to get rid of Rob at the following one with Laetitia completely unaware that that plot would have been far better if her idol was a secret. Rob meanwhile was catching up with his mum, assuring her that he is dominating the game and has everyone wrapped around his little finger.
We returned to the Island of Secrets where they were still speculating what would happen at tribal council, with Mike nervous about becoming the target while Durao tried to put out the fire and keep Rob safe. Which again, is stupid. Given it is pointless to try and pull Durao over to his side, Mike hoped he could get through to Nicole, unaware that she is just as blindly loyal and was catching up with Durao to make sure he doesn’t fall under Mike’s spell.
The two factions joined up at tribal council where Jacques learnt that he was moments away from the loved ones visit as Rob spoke about how hard a decision it was to select people to join him on reward. Acting ageist in the process, reminding everyone that Laetitia is going to die soon as she is 50. As Nicole started to quietly cry like Lisa Rinna after bunnygate, she spoke about how painful it was to miss out on the reward as a mother but said that her trip to the Island of Secrets gave her the resolve to push towards the end. Not before mentioning that Steffi getting selected because she is hungry pissing her off. Durao too was annoyed that Steffi’s hunger meant more to Rob than his. The Island of Secrets trio started to get delirious, laughing about how hungry they were and how it was stifling their cognitive abilities. Nicole did say that she has focused on who needs to be her target. Laetitia tried to give her a pep talk, though admitted that fierce Nicole is somebody who scares her.
Nicole said that she can’t win, as she is either tough and people target her for making a move or she is weak and everyone thinks she is riding coattails. Laetitia clarified that she admires Nicole, all while Rob looked like her was about to throw up. Rob spoke about building trust from day one, which made Durao nervous given he and Rob started on different tribes. Growing more anxious Rob asked Nicole if anything went down at Island of Secrets and whether he should be worried, with her assuring him that he should trust her. She then sat on her rage for a hot second before exploding on him, in her way, telling him that today was one of the worst days of her life and she is pissed that he has the hide to question her publicly. He tried to backpedal and say that he was about to share the plan with her, but honestly, the damage with the jury could already be done.
He tried to calm her down and then openly said that the plan is to vote for Mike, as he knows that Mike has been trying to blindside him for a week. They fistbumped before Mike interjected that they are all aware of how strongly he was playing, and getting rid of Rob was the only way to win. Durao denied telling Rob the truth, with Nicole announcing it was her. This made Durao ropeable as he finally realised that if Mike goes, he will be next before debating whether Nicole or Laetitia will land in fourth. They then bantered back and forth and honestly it was hilarious, as Durao struggled to figure out just how few numbers he had on his side. Laetitia assured them it was too late to turn to her, before Rob reassured Nicole he only did the welfare check as he wasn’t sure if something exploded on the Island of Secrets and whether he should change his vote. With that the tribe voted as Durao and Mike bickered over the fact Mike knew it actually was him that told Rob about his blindside plan … before poor Mike’s fate was confirmed and he was booted from the game.
While it took me a hot minute to warm to Mike, the fact that he got extremely island hot had me pulling him into my arms as soon as he left the island. He was disappointed to find himself booted from the game but thankfully wasn’t shocked to find himself booted by the amigos. I chastised him for not rallying Cobus and Dante to take control early and avoid a boring post-merge – and not letting me watch them a little while longer. So despite my disappointment, I pulled him into the dining room and sprayed him with a fresh batch of Mikey Gland Sauce on our meat.
Don’t be scared this isn’t as sexual as it sounds, nor does Monkey Gland Sauce feature any monkey – despite what I originally thought – we were putting sauce on leftover boerewors. Which in retrospect are totally off by now and will give us the runs. Not that we could tell though, as the sweet and sour sauce could make anything taste good. Anything.
Enjoy!
Mikey Gland Sauce Makes: 1-2 cups.
Ingredients olive oil 1 onion, diced 4 garlic cloves, minced 1 tbsp ginger, minced ⅓ cup port ⅓ cup chicken stock ½ cup Joe Manngo Chutney ½ cup tomato paste ¼ cup ketchup 2 tbsp dijon mustard 2 tbsp Worcestershire sauce 1 tbsp soy sauce salt and pepper, to taste
Method Place a good lug of oil in a large saucepan over medium heat and sweat the onion, garlic and ginger for five minutes, or until sweet and fragrant. Add everything else, bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for an hour, or until thick and sweet.
Either guzzle immediately on meats or transfer to a sterilized container and keep for a couple of weeks.
Previously on Survivor South Africa Dante’s exit led to the slot of number one target becoming filled with Jacques, particularly with Steffi who didn’t love that he was keeping his hidden immunity idol a secret from her despite not being that closely aligned. After the reward challenge was split into three competitions for different prizes, Rob was pleasantly surprised to discover that the advantage in the game was the two other rewards in addition to the chance to practice the final stage of the immunity challenge. Not one to rest on his laurels – not that one – he decided to pretend that his advantage was in fact the chance to read two people’s votes at the next few tribal councils, hopeful it would be enough to stave off the attack he felt was inevitable. He then won immunity, leading to Cobus requesting the spitshake seven sticks together one final time while Steffi still wanting to flush Jacques’ idol. While Jacques, Cobis and Mmaba considered making a move against Rob, Nicole and Steffi, they stood firm and tragically my final zaddy Cobus found himself booted from the game.
Back at camp Jacques was feeling his oats after surviving tribal council without having to play his idol, leading to Steffi pontificating about how she got emotional and instead of voting out Jacques, she got scared at wrote the wrong name. Exasperating Mike to no end. Steffi then requested that their gloves come off and they commence street fighting – not a joke – before Jacques’ rightly pointed out that if they all plan to vote against him at the next tribal council, he is deciding who goes home next. He also called them all mother fuckers in the excitement – at least it wasn’t a dog c@$% – which led to everyone getting highly offended, none more so than Steffi and Laetitia. This led to another sanctimonious sermon from Steffi and TBH, she needs to go asap. Though probably won’t given everyone now hates him and are vowing that nobody is allowed to talk to him one-on-one.
The next day Steffi continued to be insufferable, with Jacques rightly calling everyone out – albeit just to us – for talking about morals but being hypocritical about the way they play the game. I mean, it is starting to feel as awful as South Pacific’s church squad, which thankfully was owned by Sophie. Rob asked the tribe if anyone had spoken to Jacques since the fight, with everyone assuring him that they hadn’t. Steffi continued to talk about his need to redeem himself, and again, she needs to go. Mike then worked in with the pack, telling them about the reward steal and thankful that there is a bigger target than him. Mike then retrieved treemail where it instructed them to send two people to the Island of Secrets, agreeing that Mmaba and Laetitia should go as they have never attended. Steffi then spoke up and said that she hasn’t had protein since the merge and suggested that she go instead of Laetitia. Again, insufferable. Thankfully Mike appears to be making a plan and I choose to believe it is to get rid of Steffi. Oh and speaking of her, she assured Rob and Durao that she only wants to go to make sure people can’t lie to them about what happens.
On the Island of Secrets Steffi and Mmaba were greeted by an epic feast which they could enjoy prior to battling it out for an advantage. While they gorged, Mike approached Durao back at camp to talk about getting rid of Rob instead at the next tribal council. Unaware that Durao considers Rob his number one. He assured Durao that Mmaba and Nicole will vote with them, if he is keen and while Durao knows it makes sense, I don’t believe that he will follow through. Back at the Island of Secrets, Mmaba and Steffi finished up their meal and discovered that their challenge was a game of connect four, with the first to win three snatching the reward. Obviously Mmaba secured the reward given it was a battle of wits, and obviously Steffi made the excuse that she wasn’t trying. More importantly Mmaba opened her advantage and discovered that it contained a map to the next immunity idol, in the lid of the voting urn. Steffi asked if she could share her advantage, with Mmaba lying and saying it allowed her to snatch a reward or immunity. Which Steffi immediately telling us that she plans to flush it, despite assuring Mmaba that she won’t tell a soul.
Back at camp Mike continued to strategise, cornering Nicole and Laetitia by the shore and wisely asking the latter to tell him what she wanted to do for the next few votes. She then said that Mmaba will be the next to go because Rob and Steffi are strong. While Nicole said she understood what he was doing by trying to stir things up, it feels like she is missing the point as someone will have to upset the apple cart unless she wants to come second to Rob.While they reclined by the water, Durao approached Rob to tell him about the plan. To reward him for his honesty, Rob handed over his hidden immunity as a sign of trust, with Durao returning it straight away and seriously, do we already know the winner?
My boy Nico finally arrived for this week’s immunity challenge where the tribe had to race out to a cage in the water and dive under to release a key. When they get the key they return to the shore and unlock a box to release ropes which they then crossfit to release another key, which opens another box inside which is a bag full of puzzle pieces. Then, obvi, they solve said puzzle to win. Rob got out to an early lead, with Nicole, Jacques and Mike close on his tail while poor Laetitia brought up the rear. Rob maintained his lead on the ropes, with Jacques taking out second place while the rest of the tribe struggled. The boys commenced work on their puzzles before Nicole and Steffi finally made it to the puzzle. Given the puzzle is made of teeny tiny pieces, the boys epic lead was all for nought as out of nowhere Nicole solved the puzzle and secured herself immunity.
Back at camp Rob and Steffi openly celebrated Nicole’s win, thrilled about Jacques losing the challenge and Mike being able to attempt to taking a shot at Rob. While Mike tried to come up with a way to bring up Jingle Bells, which was Durao’s designated code for if he was voting Rob. Nicole then joined Steffi on the insufferable bus, pointing out that they all need to focus on tribal and if anyone dares to speak to Jacques they will be assumed to be turning on the tribe. With that, Jacques only had us to talk to, sharing that his current plan is to play his idol five minutes into tribal council and leave the people enabling Rob’s win to either turn, or let him decide who will be booted. Nicole and Laetitia caught up by the well, agreeing that they need to split the vote between Jacques and someone. They agreed that Mike would be the best bet, given he is betraying confidences in the worst way possible. Again, direct quote and I now hate Nicole. Rob and Nicole caught up with Rob telling him that he will be using his non-existent advantage tonight in the hope that he can stop him flipping.
With that working, Mike told Durao and Mmaba to cancel the plans to flip, leaving them all as sitting ducks. Laetitia and the amigos caught up, with Laetitia continuing to lead the charge against Mike. Steffi then interjected to share the intel about Mmaba’s fake advantage, identifying Mmaba as the biggest threat. They all agreed to flip to her, with Nicole questioning what they will tell Mike so they sent Laetitia back to camp, so they can tell him that they will be loading votes on her, just in case. They will then actually load votes on Mmaba and blindside her before she can use the fake advantage, with Steffi assuring them it will be easy since there is no way that she will have an idol. Durao and Rob caught up, with Durao telling him that Mike cancelled his plans and Rob pointing out that they now need to get rid of Mmaba and hot damn, I need her to play the idol after she snatches it.
Mike caught up with Nicole and Durao to share that he thinks Rob is aware of his plan and as such, will be voted out that night. They assured him that he will still be their the next day, though didn’t tell him any additional information. They then got together with Rob, Steffi and Mmaba to discuss who will be voting for who at tribal, before Jacques arrived on the scene and they were insufferably rude to him. Seriously, don’t they realise that they’re being dislikable sore losers.
At tribal council Nicole continued to be annoying, saying her immunity is for the tribe and is so thankful they can get rid of Jacques at tribal council. Jacques assured Nico that he is screwed and has nobody that will work with them. Nicole continued to lose jury votes, interjecting and telling them that they all congratulated him on his move after the last tribal and that he spoke to them really meanly. This drew a wave of laughter and eyerolls from the jury which I don’t think she realised was occurring and oh girl, you’re not winning. Jacques continued to explain that Cobus was voted out not because of his move, but by Steffi being an idiot and voting for the wrong person. And not in a victorious Natalie Anderson way. Jacques explained the meaning behind his outburst, saying that people will be screwed if they vote for him and don’t have a plan b.
Durao then shared that nobody is allowed to talk to Jacques one on one, with Steffi, Rob and Nicole not realising how badly they appear to the jury and honestly, if they don’t stick together, none of them will win. Jacques then decided to play his idol, sharing that he will be voting for Rob and should anyone want to join him, that is great. Everyone smugly sat around happy that they don’t need to discuss any other plans, which again, doesn’t look good for any of them. Mike then spoke about needing to believe in something, while Nico grew frustrated that nobody is feeling concerned. Mmaba spoke about being nervous after going to the Island of Secrets and missing out on vital information for tribal. Jacques then questioned Mmaba feeling safe, asking who she intends to vote for if she was told to vote him. Sadly she thought sticking to the plan was her best move, despite knowing her vote will be invalidated. Durao assured everyone that they will be safe, since no one will flip and his plan won’t work. Laetita spoke about the strength of the premerge alliance, despite two of them now sitting on the jury.
Rob then threatened anyone that dared to rock the boat, assuring them that they will be the next target if they make waves. Nico then gave everyone one final chance to plead their case on the off chance that they will be voted out, which sadly led to crickets. With that the tribe voted, Mmaba pocketed her idol which she tragically didn’t play, leading to her booted from the game when it could have been Rob with just one vote. I should also point out that two people stupidly voted Jacques, knowing he was immune. But I digress, Mmaba was gutted to find herself blindsided just after snatching her idol (talk about a kick in the nuts).
Mmaba was inconsolable as she arrived at Ponderosa, unsure why she didn’t play the damn idol and eliminate the biggest threat in the game in the form of Rob. I too was unsure why she didn’t do that, so may have kinda chastised her before changing the topic to offer her a Springmmabatlokkie Molefe or ten.
Surprisingly I am not a huge fan of shots. I don’t know if it has anything to do with the fact that I am hella basic and as such dabble mainly in white wine or frose, but this is a shot I am willing to make an exception. Creamy and minty fresh, it may not sound great on paper, but damn it is delicious.
Enjoy!
Springmmabatlokkie Molefe Serves: 2.
Ingredients ¼ cup peppermint liqueur ¼ cup Amarula Cream
Method Divide the peppermint liqueur between two shot glasses. Gently pour the amarula on top.
Down. Lather, rinse and repeat until the pain of a blindside subsides.
Previously on Survivor South Africa Dante continued to be an Island all by himself – which I would love to make land on – after the Seipei blindside when he pushed to get rid of Rob instead. Jacques and Cobus weren’t thrilled to be left out of the Seipei vote, confronting Rob who assured them that they needed to keep it quiet despite how profusely they said that they wanted Seipei gone too. After Dante won another reward and opted to share it with Laetitia, Mmaba and Mike, he pissed off everyone else in the tribe who decided it was because they are so strong. Dante tried to get the rest of those on the outs to join him, this time to get Cobus out, while Durao gave up his vote to get a cheat code for the immunity challenge. After it worked and Durao was safe, the tribe got to deciding who to split their votes on between Mmaba and Jacques – with Dante the target, obvi – with the latter chosen to burn his idol. Sadly for them, and particularly Steffi who was annoyed about any idols she isn’t aware of, Jacques didn’t burn his idol though they were successful in getting rid of Dante.
Back at camp Jacques was pissed about his alliance getting sanctimonious about his secrets, when they were secretly plotting to get rid of him. He approached Cobus to see if he would be willing to flip, given he has been left out of two votes in a row. Cobus was non-committal, deciding it would be best to talk to his allies to find out what happened before making any rash decisions. Oh and Steffi continued to be upset that Jacques didn’t burn his idol. While everyone else slept, Steffi approached Mike and Durao and took them to the well to shade Jacques and Cobus for playing up to the jury … who will decide the winner. While that sounds stupid when you type it, the logic that that makes them a threat is solid.
The next day Nicole tried to do damage control with Jacques and Cobus to make sure they didn’t panic, with Jacques suggesting he will burn his idol if needs be. Nicole shared that she prefers to play with integrity and doesn’t like it when the lines get blurred, and started to question Steffi’s motives because her morals change day to day. Meanwhile Cobus was glad to have Jacques remain in the game as it kept the target off him and damn, I am nervous.
Nico arrived for this week’s immunity challenge where everyone would have to suspend a bar between two handles over a tile, with the last tile left unsmashed winning the victor steak and veggies, wine or an advantage … or a letter from home. To complicate matters further, people would only compete against those that want the same reward. Durao and Nicole were the only ones going for food, Mmaba and Rob went for the advantage and the rest were fighting for letters from home. Nicole and Durao were first upm with Durao nobly dropping out almost immediately, knowing that she needed it more. And honestly, I don’t even think he was trying for anything in return and TBH if he had speedos, he would be my fave. Mike, Cobus, Jacques, Steffi and Laetitia went next for the letters, with Steffi struggling early before Jacques, Laetitia and Cobus dropped out of nowhere in quick succession before Mike dropped out to give Steffi a letter, this time to benefit him down the track. Finally Rob and Mmaba competed for the advantage and while I wish I could tell you Mmaba owned him, she tragically dropped and handed him the advantage which Nico made him read allowed to the tribe. And while I wish that was juicy, it just told them all that his advantage awaited on the Island of Secrets.
We followed Rob to the Island of Secrets where he learnt that his advantage was the food Nicole won, the letter Steffi won and the chance to practice the final puzzle of the upcoming immunity challenge. He sat back and relaxed on the island, knowing that he was in control of the game before breaking down over his letter from home, learning that he had become an uncle since leaving South Africa. Meanwhile back at camp the tribe got down to prepping a meal where Cobus spoke about his shock over picking a letter from home rather than a meal. Steffi found a quiet place on the beach to read her letter, breaking down over the love she was missing though thankful that it will give her the push she needs. She then found Mike to thank him for giving up his letter for her, which made him breakdown over what he missed out on.
While Mmaba was sitting by the shore, Cobus rallied the rest of the troops to ask them to stay together one final time to get rid of her. Steffi was agreeable, though said that Jacques needed to burn his idol to earn back her trust. This frustrated him and led to him asking whether she truly believes that he is the only person with an advantage in his bag, leading to the root of her saltiness coming out – she had been to the Island of Secrets three times and came back with nothing.
The next day Jacques shared that all he wants is to until the loved ones visit so that he can use his reward steal to spend time with his wife. He approached Cobus to see whether he would be willing to watch out for him and help him get to the loved ones visit, with repayment of a visit from his mum. Which he was super keen for. While they were away however Steffi continued to rally people against Jacques, despite assuring him they would stick together if he flushed his idol and god I hope this doesn’t end well for her. They all agreed to split the votes on Jacques and Cobus, with Steffi cocky that her plan was going to be a game changer.
Nico and Rob returned for the reward challenge where they were required to race through a series of obstacles balancing a ball on a bow. Once they navigated three balls through the obstacles, they would have to land them in grooves on a flat, wavy piece of wood. Oh and in addition to immunity the winner would get to drive a luxury SUV around for a month when they get home, which is only notable in how strange it is. Rob made quick work of the obstacles, proving adept at ball play. Cobus followed close behind, with Jacques nipping at their heels. Rob, Jacques, Cobus and Steffi were the first to reach the puzzle, with Rob’s advantage proving too much for them to overcome, snatching immunity and a month of a hire car. Again, strange.
Back at camp Cobus was hoping to stick with the easy vote tonight, as it is the safest way to guarantee that he will still be here the next day. He caught up with alliance of seven, asking them to stick together for one final ride with everyone saying that they are happy to get rid of Durao. Steffi and nicole immediately approached Mmaba to get her on board to split the votes between Jacques and Cobus, while Rob locked in Mike, Durao and Laetitia. While Mike was confident in his alliance with Mike, Mike shared that he is only keeping him around as a shield and will gladly slit his throat when needed and hot damn, it may start getting interesting again. Just not at the upcoming vote. Mike then approached Mmaba and Durao to share his plan to stay tight as a four – with who else, I am not sure – to take out Rob, Nicole and Steffi. Speaking of that trio, Rob started to get spooked about them turning on them so decided that he would tell everyone that his advantage was the chance to steal two people’s votes at one of the next few tribal councils to make them fearful of flipping on them. Which they all agreed was a great idea.
But back to the vote ahead, Cobus started to get nervous, approaching Rob and then Steffi, Laetitia and Nicole, where he learnt that they still plan to split the vote on Jacques to get rid of his idol instead of a straight up vote against Durao. This made Cobus even more nervous, so he approached Jacques, Mmaba and Durao to talk about getting rid of Steffi instead. Cobus was hopeful to tee it all up, then back out and hopefully get Mike to vote her out instead to keep his hands clean and TBH that just makes me nervous that he is about to screw himself over. To try and woo Mike to his side, Jacques showed him the reward steal and promised to share it with him. This led to a moment of real talk, where they agreed that shit is about to hit the fan and that they need to work together to make it to the end. And somehow, Mike still thinks Nicole is someone he should trust which feels important but doesn’t flow with the narrative.
At tribal council Rob continued to downplay his threat status, while Cobus admitted that he is nervous given he hasn’t been looped in on the last three votes. Jacques agreed that he is on the outs, wearing his idol to protect himself, though I am not convinced that he will actually vote. He then reiterated that all he cares about is making the loved ones visit, which he believes is the next day and he will do anything to get there. Talk turned to who the next target is then, if he is out of the picture with Mmaba slyly admitting that people are now talking to her and she isn’t sure whether it is perfect timing, or way too late. She then shaded people for having blind trust in the game before Steffi sounded like a broken record about trust and people breaking their word, Durao admitted that it is important but sometimes it needs to have an expiry date and to be open to options, even if you only trust one or two people.
Everyone reiterated that they are confident in who they trust, while the jurors obviously felt enraged every time she spoke. Rob mentioned that blindsides need to be played perfectly, otherwise they were too risky, while Jacques pointed out that they need to have a purpose rather than being for attention. Queen Laetitia spoke about the post challenge chaos, saying that her strategy was to wait for people for people to make up their minds and then shop around the plans and go with whichever suits her best. Jacques whined about people playing passively, which Mmaba called out as exactly the style he is playing. Laetitia jumped in to say she is anything but passive, given she talks to everyone before Steffi started to act strange, laughing about people strategising and again, coming across as hella cocky. Before Cobus reminded us that he went to his alliance to try and convince them to stick together.
With that the tribe voted, Jacques enraged Steffi by choosing to hold on to his idol and tragically my last boyfriend of the season Cobus became the latest victim of a blindside. Though given Steffi received votes, you know some fireworks are coming and that will keep me happy.
Cobus pulled me into his big, strong arms as soon as he spotted me in Ponderosa, thrilled to see such a dear friend slash ex waiting to cheer him up. Despite our relationship coming to an end when I was deported from South Africa, we’ve remained the closest of friends and as such, I knew the only thing that could dull the pain of being booted was a fresh batch of Cobsister Hugo.
Crisp on the outside, warm and fluffy on the inside with a kick of spice and a sweet lick of honey, there is nothing better to warm your soul. Even when you’re smarting from being booted.
Enjoy!
Cobsister Hugo Serves: 6.
Ingredients 1¼ cups warm milk 60g unsalted butter, melted 1 egg, lightly beaten 3 ½ cups plain flour, sifted, plus extra, to dust 14g dry yeast 2¼ cups raw caster sugar 1 ½ tsp ground cinnamon 1 tsp ground nutmeg 1 tsp ground mixed spice 1 tsp ground ginger 1 tsp ground cardamom 1 tsp ground cloves vegetable oil, to deep-fry 1 cup honey
Method Whisk the milk, butter and egg in a jug. Meanwhile, combine the flour, yeast, sugar and spices in the bowl of a stand mixer. Pour the liquid into the dry ingredients and mix by hand with the dough hook until just coming together. Engage in the stand mixer and mix for about five minutes, or until a sticky dough is formed. Transfer to an oiled bowl, cover and leave to prove for a couple of hours.
Transfer dough to a lightly floured surface, split it into quarters then divide each quarter into four. Roll into 30cm strips, cut them down the centre, leaving attached by a centimetre or so at the end and then plait the strips and sealing the ends together. Cut the braid into three, place on a lined baking sheet and repeat the process until done.
When you’re ready to get your fry on, heat about 10cm of vegetable oil in a large stock pot. Once the oil reaches 180°C-ish, place a couple of buns in the hot oil and fry for five minutes, or until cooked through, golden and crisp. Transfer to some paper towel and repeat the process until done.
Drizzle with honey and devour immediately, enjoying the departure of the last remaining Zaddy. Other than Mike.
Previously on Survivor South Africa Mmaba was feeling all alone after Mike blindsided her when voting out their closest ally Mike. Feeling in the mood for a little blindside action herself, Seipei suggested that she and Rob will need to think about turning on Nicole and Steffi sooner rather than later. Cobus and Nicole were sent to the Island of Secrets to battle for one immunity, with Cobus taking it out while the remaining nine were split into groups to compete for triple immunity, with Dante, Mike and Jacques taking out the others. While Dante pushed to get Rob out at the upcoming tribal council, the rest of the tribe had other ideas, targeting Seipei for dominating the tribe. Mike told Dante about the plan, pissing off the zaddy, before ultimately Queen Seipei was blindsided.
Back at camp Jacques was feeling nervous about his place in the tribe after being left out of the Seipei blindside with Cobus. While he wasn’t nervous, Dante was annoyed that all the weaklings he tried to help didn’t take him up on the offer to help them vote out of Rob. He continued to be a ball of rage, cussing out Mmaba and Durao for not voting for Rob, vowing to join the majority to instead get rid of them. On the other side of camp Rob was running damage control with Cobus and Jacques who both assured Rob that they were thrilled at the outcome and only annoyed about the fact that they were left out of the loop. Nicole and Steffi joined the group to fill them in on Dante’s growing meltdown, with them all promising to fight like hell to make sure the angry zaddy doesn’t win immunity.
The next day we went straight to Nico for this week’s reward challenge where the tribe would face off in eliminations, first releasing a cylinder from a rope, the next digging out a further 12 cylinders from a sandpit and the final stage to carry another collection of cylinders on a tray over a balance beam and use them to complete a puzzle. It was for a huge overnight Samoan feast, so everyone was pumped to battle it out. Cobus and Dante were neck and neck, with Cobus first through to the next round, followed by an out of nowhere Steffi, Dante – who has a split in his speedos – Nicole, Jacques and Rob. Dante was the first through to the final round, followed by Rob and Jacques, just ahead of Cobus. Dante got out to an early lead, giving him a headstart on the puzzle while Jacques started to close the gap. Rob eventually made it to the puzzle while Dante struggled to pull the incorrect cylinder out of the puzzle, just snatching victory while Jacques breathed down his neck. Nico then gave him a chance to share it with two people, selecting Laetitia and Mike. Nico then offered him one more which he handed to Mmaba before opting to send Durao to the Island of Secrets.
At the Island of Secrets Durao was offered the chance to give up his vote for a cheat code at the upcoming immunity challenge, which he readily took even though his alliance desperately need his vote. He opened the cheat sheet to discover that the code of fuck-off long and tragically, the poor thing was played. Meanwhile at reward Dante was thrilled to take some time out of camp, breaking down about finally feeling present in the moment without fear. Laetitia felt so lucky to have experienced the culture, and that was before they all sat down to annihilate the food. Dante was starting to relish sharing the reward with people – despite his initial hesitations – hoping that it will make them think twice about booting him. Finally we checked back in with the camp where they were all assuring themselves that they won’t taken on reward because he is threatened by that strength, none more so than Rob, who was struggling to continually get beaten by Dante. Thankfully Rob is killing the social game, using the smaller numbers at camp to lock in Cobus’ loyalty, which he can sense is slipping away.
Back at the Island of Secrets Durao realised that he won’t be able to see the cheat sheet without light, just as the sun went down leaving him to desperately cramming in the fading light. We returned to the reward where the group were trying to come together, identifying Jacques and Cobus as the most dangerous people left in the game. Dante assured them that he is in and all he is asking for is loyalty in the upcoming vote. They decided to make Jacques feel so nervous ahead of tribal council that he burns his idol, while they all vote out Cobus instead. They then discovered their bed and mosquito net and honestly, their pure joy was heartwarming.
The next day the losers at camp were gorging on a huge feast of rice and bananas with nobody around to stop them, hopeful it will be enough to beat Dante at the upcoming immunity challenge and get rid of him. The victors briefly returned to camp before heading out to meet Nico for this week’s immunity challenge where they were reunited with Durao who was nervous about losing given his huge advantage. Nico then explained that the challenge would see Nico showing a series of images, with the castaways then required to show the combination – which Durao studied – in order. Rob was the first person eliminated in the very first round, joined by Mike, Steffi and Laetitia in the latter stages of the round. Round two claimed Dante, Cobus and Mmaba in quick succession followed by Jacques and Nicole, handing Durao immunity and proving that study always pays off.
Back at camp the tribe congratulated victory on his win, unaware that they could have potentially screwed their plans by losing his vote. Dante was feeling very uneasy about his place in the tribe, hoping that what they discussed at reward will come to fruition. Durao approached Mmaba who told him that Cobus is their new target and that they’re going to attempt to make Jacques nervous enough to get rid of his idol. Cobus, Mike and Rob got together to discuss splitting the vote between Dante and Mmaba, before Mike approached Rob, Nicole and Laetitia to talk about needing Jacques to burn his idol ASAP. Rob then caught up with Durao, who filled him in on the no vote predicament, before pulling in Mike to lock in the vote for Dante and Jacques.
Rob and Steffi caught up to confirm the Jacques back-up vote, while Mike approached Mmaba and Durao to catch them up to speed. Mmaba however was feeling loyal to Dante, worried about turning on him too soon. She then approached Steffi, Nicole and Cobus – in a tiny red speedo, swoon – to see whether she could find a crack and save Dante, who was busy sleeping in a hammock nearby. While it seemed like a bad idea, the fact that Dante was so relaxed was starting to make everyone nervous, unsure if that means that he has an idol. Mike used this uncertainty to make Jacques nervous, hopeful it is enough to get him to burn it. Though he is vowing to hold strong, knowing that even if he plays it, it only saves him one extra tribal.
At tribal council Dante and Jacques acknowledged that they’re the ones in trouble at tribal council, with Dante knowing his is a target because he isn’t willing to be someone’s lap dogs who are the ones that continually survive tribal council. Cobus countered that it is only because he doesn’t have the relationships, and not having an alliance is why he is leaving. Jacques jumped in to point out Rob and Steffi were starving, which makes them less of a threat than say, Dante, who had won every reward since the merge. Nicole and Dante acknowledged the fluid nature of alliances, though the latter lamented that unless the people on the bottom join together with him, they are destined to follow him out the door. Cobus got annoyed that Dante was questioning him feeling great about his place in the tribe, Rob pointed out that tribal will be easy while they still have a common enemy … named Zadante. Nico then queried who the target will be once Dante goes, making Rob nervous and quickly pointing out that they can’t think too far ahead.
Steffi reminded everyone to stick with their alliances before going on a weird speech about half truths, which sadly worked by making Jacques nervous. They then spoke in rumours, pissing Nico off before Steffi acknowledged that she is annoyed that her alleged idol hasn’t told her about it. Dante got angry, pointing out that it is a hidden immunity idol and she needs to get over it, while Jacques said that if she gives him half-truths, why can’t he give the same. Essentially. Nicole said that her vote is based on what is easiest for her going forward and Rob was sticking with the numbers while Cobus sassily whispered to Jacques like the icon he is. With that, the tribe voted and tragically Zadante’s run came to an end … just before the lining broke in his hole riddled speedos.
Needless to say, I was heartbroken to see Dante walk into Ponderosa and started screaming uncontrollably until he pulled me in for a tight hug until I calm down. Three hours longer than I actually needed, I told him I was ready to talk about his loss and try and bring him some comfort. I told him to go get changed into something comfortable – leaving his dirty clothes aside for me to launder – as I whipped up a duo of Danté de Malvilliers Puddings.
While malva pudding is relatively simple to make, it sure packs a delicious punch. A light, delicate sponge covered in thick, sticky caramel, it is the perfect thing to celebrate my love Dante. Particularly if I need to wipe some sauce off his beautiful chest.
Enjoy!
Danté de Malvilliers Pudding Serves: 2 lovebirds, or 4 regular folks.
Ingredients 125g butter, plus 2 tbsp 2 ¼ cup raw caster sugar 1 egg 1 tbsp apricot jam 1 tsp bicarb soda ½ cup milk 1 cup plain flour 1 tbsp vinegar ¾ cup cream 1 tbsp vanilla essence
Method Preheat the oven to 180°C.
Cream two tablespoons of butter with ½ a cup of raw caster sugar until pale and combined. Add the egg and jam and beat until fluffy and well combined.
Dissolve the bicarb in the milk and add to the creamed butter, alternating with flour until well combined. Add the vinegar and beat for a further minute.
Transfer the batter to a round baking dish, cover with foil and place in the oven to bake for an hour.
While the pudding is cooking, combine the remaining butter and sugar in a saucepan with ¼ cup of water and bring to the boil. Simmer for two minutes before adding the cream and vanilla. Cook for a further couple of minutes before removing from the heat.
Once the pudding is done, serve immediately, generously drizzled is the sauce.
Previously on Survivor South Africa Dante was feeling all alone after losing his bestie Meryl, while Nicole managed to overcome voting out Rob’s boyfie Nathan, with Rob – who tragically isn’t rocking a speedo – welcoming her into the spitshake second which isn’t as hot as it sounds. Dante tried to make inroads after securing reward with Mmaba, Geoffrey and Durao, while Jacques was sent to the Island of Secrets to collect his latest advantage, a reward steal. Rob snagged immunity – wearing shorts – with speedo loving Zadante deciding to try and convince his new allies to vote out Nicole, unaware that they were all loyal to her. Meanwhile the spitshake seven decided to target Geoffrey, putting Mike in the middle of his old and new alliances, opting to put his faith in the spit crew and vote Geoffrey from the game.
The next day the tribe were forced into bonding with each other in the shelter due to the constant rain, while Mmaba silently broke down over the thought of Geoffrey being blindsided by their former ally Mike. Seipei and Rob braved the rain to discuss the current lay of the land, identifying Dante as the next person to go. Seipei was hopeful of pulling Mmaba in as a number to get rid of Nicole and Steffi, so that Seipei, Rob and Jacques can go to the final three. This made Rob nervous, as she was so willing to break their alliance and then decided that Seipei was the puppetmaster Nicole was warning them about last tribal. Which I’m fairly certain she wasn’t, though it does fit. So, you know, whatever?
Jacques appeared in camp carrying a big sack and advised that they were each required to pick a block and that the losers with white blocks would go to the Island of Secrets immediately, while the other colours would decide their team at the upcoming reward. Every stuck their hand deep in the sack with Cobus and Nicole discovering that they would be going to the Island of Secrets, while the rest of the tribe would be competing for reward and immunity. Nicole and Cobus arrived at the Island to discover that they would be the ones competing for immunity, while the others would only be fighting for reward. They discovered that they would be dueling with a shape puzzle, with Zaddy Cobus making quick work of things and snatching immunity and my heart. I mean, I have been resting on how down hot he is.
Again, the SA boys are really on point this season.
Speaking of on point men, the rest of the tribe arrived to meet Nico in a clearing where they are still competing for immunity. Three necklaces in fact, meaning four people will soon be immune and holy shit, please don’t screw Seipei or Laetitia. Anyway the challenge involved the teams releasing puzzle pieces, one at a time, run them through obstacles to a giant wall when they use the symbols to solve a suduko-esque puzzle. In addition it was for wine and pizza and honestly, they’re lucky I didn’t run in and snatch it from their damn hands. Dante got the yellow team of him Mike and Jacques to an early lead, with Steffi, Rob and Laetitia nipping at their heels while Mmaba, Durao and Seipei languished in last. Yellow continued to extend their lead and while I’d love to pretend something exciting happened, they snatched immunity without breaking a damn sweat.
The boys arrived at their reward, giddy at the sight of the pasta mountains before starting to talk strategy. While Mike was a fan of Dante, he sadly didn’t see any way that he could use Dante to get rid of someone from the spit shake alliance. They then went to look out over a giant waterfall and celebrate like drunk woo-girls. Back at camp the remaining tribe members were miserable, while Steffi tried to convince everyone to kill a chicken and feast before the guys returned from reward. She then didn’t want to commit to her decision, driving Seipei mental, until Durao just stepped in and said that they would eat. Which Laetitia noticed.
While the tribe got to work prepping the feast, Seipei pulled Rob aside to discuss getting rid of Laetitia at the upcoming vote and granting her wish. Or Mmaba. Or Durao. Pretty much everyone that isn’t immune outside of Steffi and Nicole. Eventually they settled on a split vote between Mmaba and Laetitia, and why do I feel like shit is about to hit the fan. Back at camp Steffi wanted to crack a coconut on top of their chicken, which pissed of Seipei while back at the well, Rob and Durao discussed Seipei’s plan, and instead identified her as the biggest threat that needs to be dealt with. Given she is dominating the game and is so damn likeable.
Back at the Island of Secrets Cobus and Nicole were discussing strategy, with Nicole identifying him as one of the smartest in the game and the best person to utilise to break the seven when it comes to it. He assured her that he wants the final four to be powerhouses like them, leading to Nicole sharing the information about Seipei’s half idol to test his trust. Though sadly it only made him sure that Seipei needs to be the next to go. Meanwhile Rob was back at camp pulling in his army to take out Seipei, quickly getting Steffi on board after sharing that Seipei plans to get rid of her down the track. While they felt confident that they had the numbers to pull off the move, they worried that making such a big move was too soon and would stop Jacques from ever working with them again. Oh and they decided to ask for the half idol back from her before blindsided her, which makes me sad.
The victors returned to camp with Jacques making a beeline for Seipei and Rob to see who they were planning to blindside with Dante immune. Seipei continued to push hard for Laetitia to go over Mmaba, which only mad Rob more sure of his plan to get rid of her. And given her growing confidence, I am not feeling good.
The next day Rob started working on Laetitia, who was keen to join him and honestly, they can’t make it this obvious. Can they? Rob approached Jacques to assure him that Mmaba is the next to go, with Jacques not really seeming like he trusts him, though confident that it is a bad idea to rock the boat already. Meanwhile at the well Dante and Durao caught up to discuss their status as periphery players, with Dante deciding that it is in their best interests to go together and take control of the tribe for themselves. Sadly Zadante – who looks really good this episode – pushed quite hard and I’m fairly certain that is not the way to convince Durao to get on board. Dante approached Mmaba who was keen to join him, until he got to Mike and suggested that they target Rob which we know is not something that Mike or Durao will be on board with. Dante and Mike then walked away, leaving Durao to suggest to Mmaba that they go for Seipei instead as that is the person that more people will be willing to get rid of.
Mike and Rob caught up by the shore, with Rob pointing out that Seipei was the head of the snake that Nico referred to at tribal council with Mike thrilled to jump on board. He then approached Mmaba and Dante – who surprisingly was not keen, assuming that he will play an idol to save himself – while Rob approached Durao and everyone giggled at the thought of Queen Seipei being the victim of a brutal blindside. Cobus and Nicole returned to camp to discover that four people are immune at the next tribal council, with Nicole assuming Mmaba was the next to go. She then caught up with Rob by the well and discovered that the entire tribe had decided to get rid of Seipei. They then got to work formulating a plan to snatch back the half idol that Seipei is holding with Queen Seipei suggesting that Rob holds both halves for the former Sa’ula, handing it over before he handed it on to Nicole to claim as her own.
At tribal council Dante was thrilled to be wearing immunity and living to fight another day, while Rob pretended that he was feeling a little bit nervous, though pointing out that the tribe is unified and his alliance is strong. Mmaba lamented or pretended that shs is sadly in the minority, while poor Jacques went on an elaborate lion vs. zebra tangent, unaware of the massive plot that the tribe worked on to take out his closest ally. Durao countered that the zebras are smart enough to try and direct the lions, while Laetitia and Mmaba spoke about new targets popping up every day. Seipei spoke about her confidence in her allies, with Rob playing along and saying that his majestic alliance are all on the same page, so it is a group decision and nobody is truly in charge. Steffi started to smirk about the upcoming vote before trying to dance around Nico’s needling with a fruit analogy which is honestly more confusing than Jericho’s cat story. Jacques tried to turn the conversation back to the savannah and said that the alliance shouldn’t double up on attributes and Dante advised that people shouldn’t wait for things to fall into their laps.
With that the tribe voted and turns out, the obvious thing actually happened as Queen Seipei was sent packing. Much to her and Jacques’ shock, and my boiling rage. I mean, I get why they targeted her, but I loved the damn Queen and couldn’t stop myself from screaming a steady stream of expletives as she walked into my arms. Given she is such an icon, she focused on calming me down and took me into the kitchen to grab some of the Seipeppermint Crishugane I had just made in her honour.
Peppermint crisps tragically disappeared from our supermarkets a few years ago and my heart has been heavy ever since – kinda like the coffee scroll sitch, you know? Well, until I learnt to make my own. Crispy, crunchy peppermint, coated in glorious chocolate – there is nothing better.
Enjoy!
Seipeppermint Crishugane Serves: 6.
Ingredients butter 2 cups raw caster sugar 1 cup glucose 2 tsp peppermint extract ½ tsp vanilla extract ¼ tsp green food coloring 200g milk chocolate
Method Line a baking sheet with baking paper and grease with a slick of butter.
Combine the sugar and glucose in a large heavy-bottomed saucepan and bring to the boil, and cook for a couple of minutes, or until the sugar has completely dissolved. Cook, stirring to avoid any bubble overs, until it reaches 150°C on a candy thermometer. Aka the hard-crack stage.
Remove from the heat, stir in both extracts and food colouring. Pour onto the baking sheet and leave to cool completely before cutting into pieces.
Melt the chocolate in a double boiler and dip the peppermint in to coat. Transfer to a lined baking sheet until set.
Previously on Survivor South Africa the merge proved a trying time for Nicole, who was reunited with her amigos straight after blindsiding their dear friend Nathan. While she tried hard to win them back over, they all had their doubts and had moved on to new alliances. Dante and Meryl tried to pull back Jacques and Cobus, while Mike was reunited with Mmaba and Geoffrey and hoped to be able to work together. After Steffi snatched immunity and sent herself to the Island of Secrets, the spitshake crew rallied together to split the vote between Meryl and Geoffrey, ultimately sending Meryl to become the Queen of the Jury without upsetting Dante, who they may need further down the road.
Back at camp Rob was thrilled at the perfect execution of their plan, while Geoffrey was nervous about how many people were against him despite being thankful to have stayed. He tried to clear the air with the tribe, assuring them that he holds no ill will, though since Jacques was making jokes about trying to vote him out twice, I’m not sure he will be getting very far. The next day the tribe were miserable as the rain hammered their camp. Well except for Rob, who was sitting pretty in the seven, though decided that pulling Durao in would also be a good idea for him. They went for a walk down the beach, with Rob pledging loyalty to him and while it is good for Durao, I’m not sure Rob bringing everyone in is a great idea. He then approached Nicole to fill her in on the alliance and vowed to protect her, now extending the alliance to nine which is extremely shortsighted.
Nico made a relatively early return for the reward challenge where the tribe would be split into three teams, run through a series of obstacles while collecting bags of discs which they slide up a curved wall and attempt to land it in a basket. It was for a spa reward, complete with snacks, sandies and drinks, so everyone was desperate for the win.
Geoffrey, Durao, Dante and Mmaba got out to an early lead with Rob, Nicole, Mike and Jacques, while Steffi, Laetitia, Seipei and Cobus brought up the rear. Rob, Nicole, Mike and Jacques made quick work of the second and third obstacles, gaining a slight lead, landing the first two points before anyone was on the board. Dante closed the gap and took the lead until Rob clawed it back. They were neck and neck, going point for point until Dante scored their tenth point and secure immunity before Seipei, Steffi, Laetitia and Cobus even scored a point. With Queen Laetitia particularly pissed, since Nico kept pointing out that she was the reason they lost. Before the victors headed out to the spa, they decided to send Jacques to the Island of Secrets, hopeful that they can trust him to fill them in on what happens while he’s away.
Back at camp Laetitia was still upset about letting her team down, feeling like she is losing her dignity and pride so requested that they vote her out at the next tribal council. While everyone was supportive, Mike preferred that she quit rather than waste being able to get rid of someone they want. Thankfully she changed her mind however, vowing to stay and honestly I’m a little confused slash suffering from whiplash. At reward Dante was feeling left right out so decided it was the right time to make friends, telling Geoffrey, Mmaba and Durao that he would rather align with the three of them rather than the other group and given Geoffrey was trashed, he was receptive to the idea. Particularly since he can pull in Laetitia and Cobus to snatch the majority. Finally we checked in with Jacques on the Island of Secrets who was gifted another advantage, this time a reward steal which he was giddy to use at the family visit. Whenever it may be. Back at reward Durao and Dante went to shower, tragically alone, while Mmaba and Geoffrey ran the numbers before they traded out, all got massages and basically were loving life.
The next day Rob and Steffi caught up with Durao to find out what happened on the reward challenge, with Durao spilling the beans on Dante’s attempts at making allianced and despite scrambling being the nail in Meryl’s coffin, Rob didn’t seem to be too scared about Dante. Instead finding it endearing. Geoffrey and Mike then caught up with Geoffrey pointing out the Durao is shifty and tried to convince Mike that working with Dante would be in their best interests.
Nico returned for this week’s immunity challenge where the tribe would be submerged under a grate as the tide rises, with the last person to stay underwater snatching immunity. Before throwing them underwater, Nico advised that not everyone had to compete and if people were feeling safe, they could opt to sit out and smash some Nachos, with Cobus, Seipei and Jacques preferring to eat instead of compete. Almost immediately Mmaba dropped out, no doubt regretting the choice not to smash some nachos instead. Durao and Mike quickly followed, with Laetitia dropping after half an hour before Dante and Nicole joined her. After an hour it was down to Rob, Steffi and Geoffrey who were all completely submerged with the latter dropping first, before Steffi eventually couldn’t hold on any longer, handing Rob immunity.
Back at camp the tribe congratulated Rob on his crazy performance in the challenge before Rob doubled down on his plan to get rid of Geoffrey. Meanwhile Zadante approached Jacques to figure out what their plan is, with Jacques worried that he needs to cut ties with Zadante ASAP. Seipei and Cobus caught up to lock in their votes on Geoffrey, with Seipei approached Jacques and Steffi to make sure they were on the same page. Rob and Mike agreed to get rid of Geoffrey, which made Mike feel upset given he was aligned with Geoffrey and if he backs out of the vote, his new alliance will no longer trust him. He approached Geoffrey who was hopeful about his ability to pull someone else in. Rob tried wooing Zadante back at camp, pointing out what his vote would say to try and get him into the fold. Dante took that intel directly to Geoffrey and neither of them could seem to get on the same page, with Dante wanting him to vote out Nicole despite it being one of Geoffrey’s closest allies. Geoffrey and Nicole caught up, with the former vowing to never write her name down, while the latter deliberately ignored returning the favour.
Geoffrey then approached Durao to find out which way his was leaning, unaware that he too had been swept up into Rob’s group. This left Geoffrey with only Mike and Mmaba left to trust, with Mike concerned that there is no way that he can continue to play with both of his alliances. Durao and Rob caught up again, with Durao laying out where all the votes lay and hot damn, Durao is low key the best social player right now. Rob and Geoffrey got together to clear the air, with Rob concerned that Geoffrey was targeting Nicole. He desperately tried to convince him of his loyalty, pointing out that Dante was trying to get her out instead however it doesn’t actually look like Rob is buying it.
At tribal council Steffi pointed out that the tribe is clearly divided into multiple alliances, which Dante agreed with and pointed out that anything is enough to become a target at the moment. Cobus said there is scheming going on all over the beach and while you can see some of it, there is a hole lot that people are missing. Durao talked about the lols of seeing Geoffrey and Dante buddying up at reward, given they straight up hated each other mere episodes ago. Durao then continue to dig Geoffrey and Dante’s hole, pointing out that the boys talked about aligning and suggested targets. This led to Geoffrey coy outing someone that is clearly Dante for trying to get him to betray Nicole before Rob reminded people that they need to stop looking too far ahead, given it could burn potential bridges later down the road. Jacques admitted that if other people are locking in final fours, the other eight need to come together to get rid of them before likening the hierarchy to that of upper management. I assume, like a board of directors. Geoffrey brought up the importance of trust which Jacques agreed with, though said that in reality, allegiances will shift after each vote and people need to accept that.
Talk turned to the vote ahead, with Rob saying he is sticking with his alliance, Dante going with individuals that he trusts and hopes to earn theirs in return before Mike shared that he hates tribal, which is inevitable and he needs to just get over it. Meanwhile Geoffrey is sticking with his heart. With that the tribe voted and sadly nobody’s heart was with him, sending Geoffrey from the game as the second juror.
It feels like nobody is going to wake up to the fact that the amigos will always stick together until it is too late and while that – and the fact I still miss Tania – has me feeling hella bummed, I was ok to welcome Geoff into Ponderosa. I mean, at least it wasn’t Dante, you know? Obviously I didn’t mention that as we toasted his game and smashed a bunch of Geoffrey Vetkoeke-Tonnesen.
While these are essentially just rolls, the fact that they are fried make them something special. Extra crispy and crunchy on the outside, still soft, fluffy and warm on the inside – they make a strong case for just eating bread as is. No ifs, ands, butters or condiments.
Enjoy!
Geoffrey Vetkoeke-Tonnesen Serves: 6.
Ingredients 1 ½ tbsp muscovado sugar 1 tsp kosher salt 7g yeast 2 ½ cups flour vegetable oil, to fry
Method Combine the sugar, salt and yeast in a jug with 1 cup of lukewarm water and leave to rest for five minutes.
Place the flour in the bowl of a stand mixer, add the yeast mixture and knead for about five minutes. Transfer to an oiled bowl, cover and leave to prove for a couple of hours.
Once doubled in size, transfer to a floured surface and punch back. Break into small ½ cup sized balls and place on a lined baking sheet.
To cook, heat 10cm worth of oil in a dutch oven and bring to 180C. Once hot, add the dough a couple of balls at a time and fry for five minutes, or until golden and crisp. Transfer to paper towel and leave to drain. Repeat until done and then devour, happily.