Thaison Beef Salapostol

Main, Salad, Survivor, Survivor: Winners at War, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Parvati and Danni found an advantage on the Edge and while they planned to keep their riches secret, were caught and had to share it with their fellow old schoolers. Aka everyone but Yul and Wendell, given they hadn’t been suffering as long. After the immunity challenge, the tribe returned to camp where things immediately descended into chaos. In the span of 30 seconds of screen time literally everyone’s name was thrown out except for Kim and that was only because she had immunity. The chaos continued at tribal council where everyone was whispering during deliberations, which made Adam so nervous he tried to play Probst’s podium as a hidden immunity idol. And given it clearly wasn’t one, he was swiftly sent to the Edge when the votes piled up on him.

Forgoing any interlude, Probst appeared to welcome the remaining contestants for the reward challenge featuring a little bit of love. Yes my friends, it is time for the loved ones visit! We first met Kim’s husband and three kids, and instantly everyone dissolved into a puddle of tears knowing that they too will soon see their entire families. And the fact that Kim’s adorable kids were too shy to walk around the corner to see her. Ben’s wife and kids were next, cute but not as cute as Kim’s family. Though Ben did give a really nice speech about how grateful he is to Survivor. Sophie and her husband are couple goals, Sarah’s partner and son were super cute – and hot damn, she is tough to have played Game Changers while her son was so little – and then Denise’s husband and daughter arrived and they are just so cute. Adopt Malcolm and they are officially my favourite family.

Nick and his fiance are adorkable and I live for them, and then Tony broke down at the sight of his wife and young kids and honestly, that is where I lost it. So pure, so gentle, I love him and well, he can be the King to Sandra’s Queen. Poor Michele joined the one-visitor club as her sister was wheeled out and while it isn’t as emotional as the entire family, you know they’d love to party. Tyson’s wife and former contestant Rachel arrived with one of his daughters and honestly, they are too pure for this world. And hot damn, how is this his first ever family visit? Rounding out the group, Val brought out all of her and Jeremy’s homemade idols to visit their dad – two of which were born after Val’s two idol season in San Juan del Sur. Coincidence, I think not.

After a little psych out about forcing the contestant’s kids into slave labour, Probst announced that for the first time in Survivor history there would be no actual challenge and instead everyone would be going back to camp so that they could all feast with their families. Seeing Tyson, Sarah and Ben goofing around with their kids was literally the best thing I have seen on Survivor. Well, except for this …

Meanwhile at the Edge of Extinction everyone noticed a boat full of people approaching and worried about what they could be in for. Then Natalie spotted Nadiya and lost it, screaming to the tribe as she ran to shore to hug her twinnie and the cutest baby I have ever seen. Everyone started sobbing at the mere sight of their families, but honestly Rob and Amber’s kids and Parvati and Samoa John’s baby were the standouts – I mean, the mini-Marianos are adorbs. Wait, now Adam is sobbing to his dad who couldn’t come out last time because his wife was battling cancer, Yul’s family are perfect, Ethan and his wife are sweet, Danni and her kids are cute. I love it all. Even Ethan and Parvati making out with their partners. As they said goodbye to their families, Natalie well and truly had a fire in her belly to be strong like her baby niece and slay the next challenge.

With all the love out of the way, my love Jeffrey returned to get the game back on track with the next immunity challenge. And let’s just focus on how iconic Kim is for not doing the annoying “I’m not giving it back, Jeff” schtick, okay? Anyway, the challenge requires them each to hold on to a rope to balance a tray and then walk towards it with blocks to spell out immunity. So you know Ben will suck, given he failed at spelling on Triple H. Kim, Tony, Tyson, Nick and Jeremy got out to an early lead until the latter’s risky play made him drop his first five letters. Kim was the next to drop, handing Tony and Tyson the lead. Until Tyson dropped, followed by Nick and Jeremy – again – making it now a race between Tony and a surging Ben. Thankfully Tony maintained his lead and avoided a disaster – while Ben dropped – handing him his first ever individual immunity challenge victory. And two fire tokens.

Back at camp Tony was thrilled to finally take out victory, though shocked that it was a slow and steady style challenge, which is far from his forte. Knowing immunity gives him power, Tony waited until Jeremy approached him and suggested that they split up Sarah and Sophie who had grown to be very tight. Sarah then approached him and suggested getting rid of Kim given she is charming and has everyone in her back pocket. Tony however disagreed and suggested Tyson instead, given Kim could be dealt with later. They then squabbled like a married couple and honestly, I love their chaotic energy. Tony approached Ben and Nick about potentially blindsiding Jeremy, given his game isn’t in sync with his. Meanwhile Jeremy was chatting to Kim and Tyson, suggesting that they band together with Denise and Michele to take control of the game. Kim then shared intel about her idol and vowed to use it to protect themselves and get rid of Sophie, wanting to go out taking a swing rather than not bothering.

Meanwhile Sarah caught up with Ben and Nick, and was shocked to learn that they would now be targeting Jeremy instead. And while Sarah wasn’t on board with the idea, she came around when Tony shared that they were voting for him because he tried to target her. Tyson and Jeremy caught up again, with Jeremy filling him in on his exit tribal council power though Tyson reminded him that that screws their alliance out of a vote and guarantees their plan fails, which appeared to be enough to trigger Jeremy’s firefighting, all-in-this-together spirit. Emphasis on appeared. Oh and on their way out to tribal, Sophie pulled Sarah aside and suggested she play the steal a vote to guarantee their safety and hot damn, this could get messy!

At tribal council Nick spoke about the fact the game had finally kicked into gear as whispering already commenced. Jeremy spoke about how chaotic everything was as everyone else joined the whispering, with Tony thrilled that he finally had immunity. Kim spoke about paranoia kicking off the whispering, Jeremy said that it was crazier than Second Chances and then as such, when Jeff said that they should head out to vote both Jeremy and Sarah tried to put a stop to it. Neither wanted to go first, so sat back down leading to Jeff sending them to vote before they both called out his name again. Sick of Sarah playing coy, Jeremy took his chance, got up and played his advantage to exit tribal council immediately. This left Tyson, Kim and Denise to hang their heads, immediately kicking off the whispering again. Sick of it, Sophie decided to put a stop to it and called her allies away to pick a target, while the other four nervously tried to formulate a plan.

With everyone locked in, Sarah put a stop to the proceedings again and opted to use her advantage and steal Denise’s vote. Finally, the tribe – minus Denise – headed out to vote, Kim decided to play her idol for Denise, which sadly only negated two votes against her, as the rest piled up on Tyson, sending him back to the Edge of Extinction. This time, he called out my name asking for his latest little snackie to help him settle back into hell. I hug him and told him how heartbroken I was that he never really got to find his footing this season, until he yeah yeah food-ed me, until I handed over Thaison Beef Salapostol and returned that fire to his belly.

As I often remind you, I normally follow Marge Simpson’s belief that you don’t make friends with salad, but this is another one that bucks that trend. Spicy, sweet and warm, it is honestly perfect. I mean, it is almost hearty?!

Enjoy!

Thaison Beef Salapostol
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 birds eye chilli
2 garlic cloves
two handfuls of coriander, plus extra for garnishing
1 tbsp caster sugar
¼ cup fish sauce
2 limes, zested and juiced
2 tbsp vegetable oil, plus extra for frying
salt and pepper, to taste
500g beef sirloin, at room temperature
4 cups mixed lettuce leaves
handful of mint leaves, plus extra to garnish
1 cup cherry tomatoes, quartered
½ small red onion, thinly sliced
½ cup roasted peanuts, roughly chopped

Method
Pop the birds eye, garlic, half of the coriander, caster sugar, fish sauce, lime zest and juice, and vegetable oil in a food processor with a pinch of salt and blitz until almost smooth and combined. Cover and leave to rest.

Place a skillet over high heat and once scorching hot, rub a little bit of oil on the steaks and sprinkle with some salt and pepper. Add to the skillet and cook for a couple of minutes, before flipping and cooking for another minute (depending on the thickness of your steak). The goal is to cook the steaks to a medium rare. Remove from the skillet to a plate, tent in some foil and leave to rest for 10 minutes.

Pop the lettuce and mint in a bowl with the remaining coriander and toss through a couple of tablespoons of the dressing. You want them dressed, but not wet. Thinly slice the beef against the grain and combine in another bowl with the tomatoes, red onion, peanuts and remaining dressing. To serve, layer the dressed leaves on the bottle of your plate, top with the beef mixture and a sprinkle of extra herbs. And then devour, like an icon.


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Tyson ChocTopostol

Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor: Winners at War, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Natalie continued to dominate the game on Edge of Extinction, finding yet another advantage, this time selling it to Sarah for another fire token. Over at Dakal, Sandra was trying a new approach to win allies by becoming the provider and while Tyson tried to highlight she was adding no value, she straight up caught a baby shark and treated her tribe to a feast. After Sele lost another immunity challenge – never be on a tribe with Denise, it seems – things were still squarely split down Old School and New School. Adam was busy trying to rally the troops against Parvati for being Parvati, he made the rookie mistake of telling Ethan and Rob who promptly went to Michele and Jeremy for answers. Leaving them no choice but to flip the vote to Ethan instead, tragically felling the zaddy victor of Africa.

We returned to Sele where Rob was lamenting the loss of Ethan before congratulating the tribe on the blindside. Well, except for Adam, who he was thrilled he was able to outsmart and blow up his plan to get rid of Parvati, despite it not working well enough to save Ethan. Rob and a very dejected Parv caught up away from the tribe, with Rob filling her in on the extent of work it took to save her, with her grateful that she could trust him. Remember when they couldn’t trust each other in Heroes vs. Villains? This is some Jerri and Colby level redemption right here. Adam meanwhile was catching up with Ben and Michele, who quickly told him that he needs to pull his head in and stop playing both sides unless he wants to be next. He then did a cheeky apology tour and everyone seemed open to it, except for Ben and, and – am I liking Ben? Despite him still wanting to get rid of Rob and Parvati?

The next day we ventured over to Dakal where Yul was celebrating making it a quarter of the way through the game. He hugged his tribe, spanked Tony and damn, I think I ship them. While Dakal are happy and content after their winning streak, Yul was thrilled that it had also allowed his alliance with Sophie, Nick and Wendell to grow very tight without having to show their hand yet. Speaking of Sophie and Nick, they were perched on the edge of camp watching the Edge of Extinction, fearing going there and joining the misery being experienced by Ethan, Danni, Amber and Natalie, the richest woman in Survivor.

Speaking of the Edge, Amber found treemail with the offer for each of them to receive a fire token. The catch being that they all had to transport 20 pieces of firewood from the top of the mountain to their camp. One at a time. Before sundown. On the first trip the foursome were powering along, Danni then opted to stick with a slow and steady pace while Natalie just dominated them all, running up the hill like it was nothing. Danni compared it to childbirth, minus the joy of a baby, Amber willed it to be over and poor, sweet Zaddy Ethan straight up started to fall apart, first mentally and then physically requiring medical to visit the island. It turns out that his blood pressure was low and he risked fainting. With four logs to go, he willed his campmates to keep pushing before mustering the energy to continue on himself, reminding him that if he can beat cancer, he can beat this. Natalie was the first to finish and immediately went to the water to breakdown, overwhelmed by the emotion of the day. Amber too started to sob as soon as her 20th piece landed, while Danni was jubilant. On Ethan’s final run, the girls joined him to make sure he knew how proud of him they were and hot damn, I can’t stop crying.

Does this actually make me enjoy the Edge?

Back at Sele, Rob and Michele were catching up about just how long it had been since Rob and Parvati had played the game. He pointed out that she was 9 years old the first time he played the game and it has evolved so much in that time. Talk soon turned to Michele’s return to the game, sharing that her siblings were very concerned given the backlash she experienced after beating Aubry. Thankfully she made far more friends this time than Adam has, who has moved on from apologising to instead working hard around camp to prove himself indispensable. Parv was still feeling down, knowing that she and Rob were well and truly on the bottom of the tribe. That being said, she wasn’t lying down and waiting to be voted out. She and Rob caught up with Adam and despite him not having a slip of the tongue, they decided to channel Sandra and instead approach Jeremy and Michele to let them know that he is furiously scrambling against them again. Which they believed, vowing to get him out ASAP.

We returned to Dakal where Sarah was proving to be a far more entertaining character, testing stinky breath with Tyson and doing random physical tasks that are on the borderline of being dangerous. But not dangerous enough to get Tony interested. Sarah shared that despite not being aligned with Tyson, she was enjoying his company and loved having someone that she could be goofy with and have fun. Tyson meanwhile was trying to work through not having allies, going the Sandra route and catching octopus for the tribe and when that didn’t work, spending time with Sandra and Tony to try and get a new alliance going. He rightly pointed out that the four unconnected people are running the game by letting all of the big threats take each other out until they have the numbers. And while that is exactly what is happening, Sandra had no interest in working with him given the fact that he was trying to take her out last week.

My love Jeffrey arrived for this week’s immunity challenge where the tribes were required to split up with four people tethered to a boat, and swim it and the remaining three people in the tribe to a tower. The trio would then climb the tower and jump off the edge to grab a key before using the key to unlock puzzle pieces, and obviously, solve it. Oh and in addition to immunity, the winning tribe also gets chickens. Once again Sandra sat out – with Parv throwing some shade about renaming the bench after her, which didn’t bother the Queen in the slightest – this time with Tony. Dakal once again got out to an early lead, grabbing all of their keys while Sele struggled. Adam managed to grab two keys while Nick and Sarah started working on the puzzle for Dakal. Adam continued to go up and down the tower, desperately trying to get the third key while Dakal continued to pull away. Finally he grabbed the final key, leading to the tribe desperately swimming to the puzzle to try and close the gap. Which they did, in a terrifyingly quick manner, as Rob and Michele destroyed them, getting piece after piece with no mistakes and finally earning a second immunity for Sele.

A shocked Dakal returned to camp with Nick heartbroken to have let down the tribe, which only Tyson seemed to want to acknowledge. With that, Tyson saw the chance of a crack, approaching Sarah and Yul to get them on board, pointing out that Nick doesn’t do anything around camp and blew the challenge. He quickly lined up seven people to get rid of Nick, pointing out that it seemed too easy. Which it was, because as soon as he left camp, everyone else locked in the vote against Tyson. Nick was upset that Tyson was targeting him in particular, given he is a big fan. Well, was. Tyson and Tony caught up by the shore and while the vote seemed to be locked for Tyson, Tony was desperate to try and find a way to save him. Given he is both a number and a shield for him. Tony quickly got Sarah on board, who in turn wooed Kim, leaving Sandra as the key to the plan. And while she agreed with Tony’s pitch, she was more nervous about the fact that Tyson has already targeted her and could take her out if the eventual swap doesn’t go her way.

At tribal council Tony spoke about how close the tribe has become, though reminded Jeff that that doesn’t impact how clearcut the vote is. Yul spoke about how natural groups have formed, though was hopeful that they would be able to keep them secret so that they didn’t have any firm lines drawn in the tribe. Sophie echoed the sentiment, pointing out that while we all know it may be a facade, they need to exit tribal council with eight people that are willing to keep the facade through a swap to make sure they have control on the new tribes. Nick quickly jumped in saying that he will be loyal to any of them, which was quickly echoed by the rest of the tribe. Sandra reminded everyone that her strategy is and will always be, anyone but me. Yul spoke about how different everyone is to be playing against versus who they were on TV, admitting that Tony is less crazy than expected. Kim and Sophie admitting to feeling starstruck by some of the other winners, before Tyson reminded them that focusing on taking out someone like a trophy can throw off peoples’ games. Nick spoke about letting the tribe down and feeling nervous, but felt like he was let in on the plan.

Someone everyone else on the tribe also felt they were across.

With that the tribe voted and it turned out that everyone but Tyson was in on the plan, as he found himself out of the game and heading to the Edge of Extinction. While I was heartbroken to see Tyson booted so soon, he was coming for my girl Sandra when they should have been sticking Villains strong and as such, I chastised him as he arrived. Tyson being Tyson, however, took it all in his stride and just wanted me to give him a little treat before settling on the Edge. Which is super relatable, given there is nothing better than a Tyson ChocTopostol.

As a kid I was a moron, and never appreciated that a choc top is the ultimate cinema snack. But these glorious numbers are essentially my penance – crispy waffle cones, dripping ice cream and a glorious crunch of chocolate? Sign. Me. Up.

Enjoy!

Tyson ChocTopostol
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 waffle cones
1 cup Vanilla Ice Cream, or any flavour you could want
½ cup ice magic

Method
This one is difficult to do, so strap in. Divide the ice cream between the cones, smoothing the top as best as possible.

Coat the ice cream with ice magic, allow to set and then devour.

Like an icon.


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Battle Royale

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, Survivor, Survivor: Winners at War

Like my dear Phil Collins, I can feel it. Coming in the air tonight. And oh lord, I am excited. It may seem trivial, but 20 former Survivor champions – most, icons of the game – return to find out who is the best of the best. 

While the answer is obviously Sandra, or Parvati, depending on what mood I may be in at the time, they will clash with 18 fellow victors. And my feelings are akin to what I imagine the people of Panem were feeling ahead of the 75th Hunger Games. Though with less literal death.

Who out of Adam, Amber, Ben, Danni, Denise, Ethan, Jeremy, Kim, Michele, Natalie, Nick, Parv, Rob – yep, I’m totally doing this – Sarah, Sophie, Tony, Tyson, Wendell or Yul will join Sandra as a two-time victor? Or will the icon go three from four?

And more importantly, who will be the first person to have a quick snack with me – despite me being the whole, damn meal – on their way to the soon to be defunct Edge of Extinction?

Image source: Robert Voets/CBS.

 

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Tyson Apostollen

12 Days of Survivor Christmas, Baking, Bread, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Sweets

While Yul most definitely has the most festive name in Survivor history, my dear friend slash Survivor three-peat Tyson is the most festive person to play the game.

I mean, sure, he had an epic three season arc going from cocky douche, to bumbling babe to dominant champion, but he also had a three season ascension in zaddiness which was decidedly festive.

Yes, I only learnt the word zaddie last Thursday.

From his nude Tocantins tribal twink look, to his animalistic Samoan swimmers to his lovely bunch of Caramoan coconuts, Tyson made me feel things that lay dormant inside for year.

Oh what a lovely ma’ fuckin’ bunch of coconuts.

I first met Tys back in the mid-00s while researching Utah as part of my work writing the little known musical The Book Of Mormon, the hit TV show Big Love AND getting into the cycling world as part of an elaborate scheme to bring down Lance Armstrong. My third least favourite Lance.

While I’m not normally keen on the site of male cyclists in lycra – mainly because they only sit around cafes leaving their ball-sweat on the chairs … which in retrospect, should be my jam – I had a soft spot for Tyson and we fell into a passionate love affair.

Like most of my passionate love affairs, ours fizzled out quite quickly – maybe it would have been different if he listed me as his loved one in Tocantins – we remained close friends. Mainly because he was such a babe and it is super hard for me to find friends that have as much sass as I do, so I have to hold on to them when I find them.

But anyway, we celebrated a Christmas together in Utah during our brief romance and he fell in love with my sweet dough. I mean, all freaking Christmas, his face was buried in it, ravenous. But I guess, who can pass up a Tyson Apostollen.

 

 

Inspired by culinary queen Christina Tosi’s Milk Bar stollen, this baby is delicious enough to convert even the most staunchest of anti-marzipan-ers. Fruity and dense with pockets of gooey sweetness, did I just describe myself. Who knows!? Eat up!

Enjoy!

 

 

Tyson Apostollen
Serves: 12.

Ingredients
1 egg yolk
¼ cup muscovado sugar
1 tbsp glucose
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp ground cinnamon
7g active dry yeast
5 ½ cup flour, plus extra for dusting
1 tsp kosher salt
1 ¼ cup warm water
145g butter, cubed, plus extra 115g melted for coating
1 cup raisins
¾ cup craisins
½ cup currants
¼ cup candied lemon
3 tbsp bourbon
250g marzipan, broken into chunks
oil, for brushing
icing sugar, to coat

Method
Whisk the egg yolk, sugar, glucose, vanilla and cinnamon in a medium bowl until fluffy and thick, or about 5 minutes.

Meanwhile combine the yeast, flour and salt in the bowl of a stand mixer. Add the warm water and stir by hand with the dough hook for a minute or so. And by that, holding the dough hook like a wooden spoon. You get it? Anyway, add the yolk mixer, pop the hook in the mixer and knead on medium for about 10 minutes, or until smooth and lump free. Add the cubed butter, piece by piece, allowing the dough to come together after each addition.

Reduce speed to low and add in the mixed fruit, kneading for an additional minute or until combined. Brush a clean large bowl with a flavourless oil, transfer the dough to said bowl, cover with some cling and leave to prove for an hour.

Preheat the oven to 170°C.

Punch back the dough and dot with the marzipan before lightly knead throughout. You could also split the dough in two, roll them out, smear with marzipan and roll up, but I find dotting it throughout haphazardly makes it more cray, like Tys. If you do dot, then split it into two and transfer to a lined baking sheet, shaping like a turkish-bread-esque loaf.

Transfer to the oven and bake for 30-45 minutes, or until golden and an inserted skewer comes out clean. Transfer to a cooling rack and leave to cool.

Once cool, brush with the melted butter and press into the icing sugar to seal. Dis is both good – dis real good – and fresh.

Then devour, greedily.

 

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