Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II

Buffalaura Cheeseburgarras

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Burgers, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap


Previously on Australian Survivor we were reminded of a series of alliances and the varying ways they failed, which is the reason the tribe is now made up of only duos. Oh and zaddy Paulie, who is so glorious, that he doesn’t need to be elevated by anyone else. As such, he was the obvious target after losing immunity. Thankfully Myles and Laura were more interested in splitting up a duo, specifically PD and Kristin, to free the latter up to work with them. Unfortunately, Logan – who always said Zara was bossy – threw a tantrum about never getting her way if they don’t take out Paulie. The tantrum spooked Laura, who fell back in line with the Paulie plan leaving Myles to steal Kristin’s idol, play it for Paulie and send PD home with just his and AJ’s votes.

We followed the tribe back to camp where things were spicy as Logan told Myles to stop trying to talk to her. She complained to all the women that her plans kept getting squashed and while they nodded, their faces all screamed, move on babes. Laura caught up with Myles, living for what he did but also frustrated to see him make himself the enemy once again. AJ meanwhile was trying to connect with the women, though the fact that Kristin asked him not to touch her, it doesn’t look good for him either. Myles explained to Laura that he was sick of everyone fiddling around and looking for excuses to not make a move, as she pointed out she just didn’t want to come back to camp and deal with Logan’s wrath, otherwise she is all good. Which AJ was in the middle of dealing with, as she berated him for breaking her trust – and their alliance – yet again.

Myles then joined the fray as AJ went to sulk, with him explaining to Logan that they never even had any trust, so he didn’t betray her. And Laura is smart and rational, and will move on from his betrayal. This obviously didn’t sit well with Logan, as she questioned whether she was dumb and irrational, with him calmly pointing out that Laura’s intelligence is why she will move on from betrayal but as they didn’t have trust, he doesn’t need her to use hers to move on. With Logan going full teen movie villain and telling him he will never have the chance to work with her, which is honestly just a lol. Myles and AJ removed themselves to gloat about their improved place before Myles looped AJ in on his other idol, assuring him that even if the tribe hates them, they have tricks. While back at the shelter, Logan continued to monologue to anyone that would listen that she will be getting one of AJ or Myles out next.

Meaning both of them are safe, no? Because this is not a good episode for Logan’s edit.

The next day things were fractionally less intense as Paulie continued to marvel about still being in the game against all odds. He was dancing with Morgan, pledging allegiance to Myles and ugh, I love to see our zaddy so happy after his power bottoming. On the flipside, Logan was still cranky, as Laura and Zara spoke about their fears about giving too much power to Myles. Speaking of Myles, while Paulie was busy pledging his undying loyalty, Myles admitted to us that he doesn’t see Paulie in his long term plans, though he will use him to get through the battle ahead. Which seems to firmly be with Laura and Logan, who are ready to take things to the next level and bring down the boys. 

Myles and Kaelan – the latter I believe now rocking Max’s speedo – went hunting for the rehidden idol, before they caught up with AJ to float the idea of reuniting with the Graduates to protect themselves from a potential women’s alliance. And while they were confident that Zara would be onboard, AJ was worried Karin feels too betrayed by him for it to work. Right on cue, Zara appeared with them calmly explaining that given nobody knows they are aligned, it is the perfect plan to pick off the pairs until the Graduates have the majority. And while the four of them agreed to take out Logan next, Zara was concerned about getting Karin onboard with that specific plan. As such, AJ pulled Karin aside to try and clear the air given she has been ignoring him since his idol play. Thankfully they were able to come to an agreement to stick together, though she flagged that she was now concerned about Myles because she can’t trust that he will do what is best for the alliance after his little move.

Oh and while she agreed to work together, trust and believe, she is ready to make a move and get rid of one of the power players in AJ or Myles.

JLP returned for the reward challenge where they would split into two teams and then duos would face off to race and collect a ball in the water and score a goal in a basket. First team to four scouring a feast of burgers, wings, milkshakes and all the good stuff. Given they were essentially shoved into tribes just after merging, I will keep things brief. AJ and Kate scored the first point for the blue team, despite Kaelan being a sweetheart coaching Logan through how to leg it through the water. Morgan and Zara tied things up for red, Paulie and Myles scored their second point, and AJ and Kate got their third before Paulie and Myles secured victory for the blue team.

Myles, AJ, Paulie, Karin, Kate and Kristin ventured into the jungle to enjoy their feast and honestly, it was an absolute slay. They smashed their shakes and devoured all of the food, before AJ floated discussing what to do at the next tribal council. Which Myles shut down, given he didn’t want all their plans to leak given they’re all in different alliances. Though he happily pointed out he doesn’t want Logan to win immunity, given it is clear they won’t work together. AJ joked that Kristin is looking for revenge against him after the last tribal council, rather than Myles. Not wanting to move on, however, Myles decided to let everyone know that Logan has an idol, which gagged they all, as he suggested it would be really good to get rid of her with an idol in her pocket.

Kate wondered if the losers would be having strat chats back at camp, so we quickly pivoted there to check. We found Logan once again complaining about constantly being on the losing side of things, be it votes or challenges. Though she did admit this time wasn’t the worst, as with Myles and AJ gone, she could float getting rid of Myles with the rest of the girls. Like the gGraduates, Morgan was keen to break up a duo, specifically Myles and AJ. Sadly for Morgan, Zara took the plan straight back to Kaelan to assure him that the Graduates are still on, no matter what he hears. As Laura watched on, concerned about what Zara could potentially be doing.

The tribe came together with JLP for the latest immunity challenge where they would each hold onto a grate under water as the tide rises, with the last person in the water winning immunity. Myles was singing and chatting through the earliest stages of the challenge, though quietened down as the water started covering his face. At the 45 minute mark Kate became the first person out of the challenge. She was soon followed by Laura and AJ before Myles kicked off the narration again. At the hour mark Paulie dropped, before a massive surge led to Morgan, Kristin, Logan and Zara dropping in quick succession, before Myles finally dropped after being underwater for what felt like an eternity. Karin and Kaelan continued to fight until Karin ran out of breath after 75 minutes, handing Kaelan his second individual immunity.

Back at camp Logan was hyper focussed on making AJ the first member of the jury, while Myles was just grateful that Kaelan had immunity as it kept it out of Logan and Laura’s hands. Myles pulled AJ and Paulie aside to lock in their plan to split the vote between the girls, with Logan the main target and Laura as back-up. With everyone onboard, they agreed to tell the girls that Kristin was their target and split up to loop in everyone else. Logan meanwhile, was equally as confident in her plan to split up Myles and AJ. She caught up with the rest of the former coven to lock in their split, with Laura and Logan grateful to be able to trust them 100%. They then looped in Morgan, Kate and Kristin, and just like that, both plans were feeling confident. Meaning someone is in for a big shock in about half an hour.

Kate and Morgan caught up, realising that they are the ones that are really in charge of who goes home based on which side they’re with. They looped in Kristin, and while they wanted Logan gone for being too dramatic, Kristin was hyper fixated on getting revenge on AJ. Right on cue, he approached the girls and quickly let Kristin know that another plan was in the works, making things super awkward. After everyone split up, Kate pulled AJ aside to let him know that she was trying to keep things quiet in front of Kristin given she is gunning for him, but assured him that she and Morgan are 100% voting with him and Myles tonight. And while it was reassuring, the Kristin confusion made AJ super nervous, as numbers clearly weren’t as locked as he thought. AJ pulled Myles aside to let him know about the rival plan, with the latter trying to reiterate that they just need to keep calm as their plan makes the most sense for everyone involved and Kristin is the only one interested in working with Logan and Laura.

Particularly since Karin can’t make a move with her one vote, right?

Wrong. Karin pulled Kristin aside to float the idea of voting with the boys, but scaring Logan into playing her idol tonight and get rid of AJ instead. The plan was for them, Logan and Laura to load their votes on AJ and tell Logan that she needs to play her idol if she wants to have any hope of surviving. The only fear Karin had with following through on this plan, however, was Zara and how she would react to her turning on the Graduates.

Laura meanwhile was starting to worry it was all too calm, so she pulled Myles aside to see where his head was at. She told him that everyone was annoyed after tribal council, before she reiterated that she can’t protect both him and AJ, so she is choosing to protect him. Sadly unaware that his plan is to ruin her game. The women all continued to catch up with Logan and Laura assuring them to stick with the plan, while Logan was just excited to get rid of AJ. Logan and AJ then caught up, hilariously lying about both of them only hearing about the Kristin plan, though they told their closest allies that they knew each other were clearly lying. While Karin was just loving the fact that she held all the power of who goes home.

At tribal council Myles was serving looks wearing his buff as a bra, though he assured JLP it was nothing compared to the drama he caused back at camp after the last tribal council. And now he has to figure out whether it would lead to more big moves, or lead to his demise. AJ admitted that he copped some guilt by association, as Logan stared blankly in the fire. Laura delivered a gorgeous quote reminding Myles that the toes he steps on today are attached to the arses he may need to kiss the next day and honestly, Shakespeare wishes. Myles stood by his decision and told everyone to stop playing the game like they were scared and to make a damn move and draw some lines in the sand. Morgan agreed that they needed to make a move, but she was also sick of dealing with post-tribal tantrums whenever a move was made. Kate felt like everyone was a little bit more paranoid, with everyone agreeing that everyone is fair game. While AJ was sure that someone would be surprised tonight.

Logan looked nervous before Karin even whispered to her to play her idol, which gagged both her and Laura, who were completely unaware they were in danger. Zara was silenced as we focused on the drama, before Laura joined the group’s discussions to talk about wisely choosing the first juror, given they set the tone of how the game plays out. Logan agreed she is scared about people holding grudges and poisoning the jury against her if she blindsides them, while Kate suggested they all need to grow up and accept it is a game and to not get butthurt. Unlike say, Logan. Laura meanwhile was whispering to Morgan and Kate to see who they are voting for, while Karin said it was hard to figure out whether people would be blindsided. While Zara was just looking forward to continuing Myles’ work and breaking up another duo.

With that the tribe voted – Myles serving absolute C.U.N.T – and Logan heeded Karin’s warning, playing her idol for herself. Sadly for her, it didn’t result in AJ leading the jury, and instead her bestie Laura was sent out of the game to become the Queen of the Jury. And TBH, after welcoming her to the Jury Villa with a massive hug, they made the right call. While she was disappointed to be out of the game, she also respected it and vowed to enjoy her time on the jury and make sure everyone rewards big, exciting gameplan. Which is exactly what I needed to hear before serving up what I deem to be the recipe of the season in the form of my Buffalaura Cheeseburgarras.

Step aside Malcolm Freburger – aka In’n’Out Animal Style Double Double – this is my new favourite burger in rotation. Super cheesy and gooey, it is the truffle buffalo which elevates it from decent burger to god-tier. Run, don’t walk.

Enjoy!

Buffalaura Cheeseburgarras
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
500g beef mince
salt and pepper, to taste
4 slices jack cheese
4 slices burger cheese
2 Briocher Bünsberg
½ cup ricotta
2-4 tbsp truffle buffalo sauce
2 pickles, sliced

Method
Gently scrunch the mince in a bowl and form into four pucks, leaving loose so there are still strands of mince. Pop a large skillet over high heat, add the meat, flattening with a spatula until about 1cm thick. Season with salt and pepper, and cook for a few minutes before flipping and topping with a slice of jack cheese and then the burger cheese, and cook for a further couple of minutes or until cooked through.

Slice the buns and toast the centres until golden. Smear the top of the burger with the ricotta, and drizzle the truffle buffalo sauce on the bottom. Pop the sliced pickled on the base, followed by the cheesy patties and closing. Before devouring alongside some fries or gems, with the best colour aura known to man.


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Paul Spanakopdee Quiche

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Main, Pie, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor after nearly four weeks of hard-fought battle, the tribes finally merged, with the OG Brains having a lovely little numbers advantage. Despite that their many dynamics made things quite challenging. After Logan won the first individual immunity with a hidden immunity idol in her pocket, she was feeling confident. Her first step was to confront sometime ally, sometime enemy Zara to get her on board with taking AJ out. Eventually. AJ meanwhile was busy schmoozing his way around camp to try and get rid of Paulie, falling into Kate’s eyes and sucking up to PD. Poor zaddy Paulie on the other hand had his back, warning AJ that the two of them just needed to lay low if they wanted to protect themselves. Despite all the chaos, none of the big moves came together as all the alliances came together to boot Jesse from the game, much to Paulie’s surprise.

The next day Paulie shared just how gagged he was to still be alive in the game, particularly since it came down to just a single vote. Despite the joy, he was feeling all alone, with nobody even checking how his head was! Tragically Zara was busy planning to take him out, as he continued to sulk. Sulk and watched all the duos that had formed around camp, realising that as the odd man out, he could find some power yet. And if he can’t make inroads, best believe, he was going to find an idol. As he hunted, AJ, Logan and Kristin caught up, talking about how much they didn’t want Paulie on the jury given he would never vote for them to win, and is persuasive enough to turn people against them. AJ then caught up with Kaelan, as our violent, nipple king whispered to AJ that Logan has an idol. And ugh, Kaelan, no – don’t screw Logan! AJ immediately ran to tell Myles with our pole dancing king letting him know that he conveniently has an advantage allowing him to steal an idol. And he is totally taking Logan’s, isn’t he?

Jonathan made his triumphant return for the latest immunity challenge where the tribe would each have to pull down on a bar to hold a spool in place with the last person standing scoring immunity. Oh my god, how much easier is it to explain individual challenges? I live. Anyway, PD obviously took his place on the sit out bench as Zara and Logan started to speculate who could beat Paulie. That distracted Zara enough to be the first person to drop, shockingly followed by Paulie, much to the delight of her and everyone else. This led to a mass exodus with AJ, Laura, Kate and Logan dropping in quick succession. Morgan and Myles were next, followed by Karin leaving Kaelan and Kristin to fight for more than fifteen minutes before Kristin had her first wobble and saved it. Sadly it wasn’t much longer before the momentum became too much as she dropped, handing nipple-god Kaelan immunity.

Back at camp everyone congratulated him on taking out the win before agreeing that tonight would be an easy Paulie vote. While Logan was happy to bring everyone together with this plan, AJ, Zara, Kristin and Kaelan caught up to discuss the merits of loading all the votes on Paulie or doing a split, just in case. After agreeing that it wouldn’t be an issue, AJ suggested to us that he felt now would actually be the best time to blindside Logan instead. Laura meanwhile was also thinking that keeping Paulie around could be a good idea, so caught up with Myles to point out that Paulie would work for them and as such, they could use him to get rid of someone who wouldn’t. Like say, PD. Plus, it would free up Kristin to work with them.

With them agreeing to save our zaddy, Myles went off to loop in AJ and see what he was thinking, before assuring Paulie that there may be hope and to just relax. That left Laura with the more difficult job of convincing the girls, and while Morgan and Kate were keen, they were concerned about Kristin finding out. Right on cue, Kristin appeared and put an end to the conversation. Laura then approached Logan and Karin, with the duo telling Laura that Paulie was too dangerous to leave in the game any longer. Laura tried to calmly explain that a desperate Paulie is more likely to help them get further, than a relaxed and settled PD, but it all fell on deaf ears. Logan then threw a tantrum, enraged about Laura being inflexible, just like she accused Zara of being, and dare I say it, maybe Logan is the one that is inflexible? That being said, I obviously live for the drama and love that she is threatening to vote out her closest ally for suggesting they get rid of PD.

But she is on thin ice, TBH.

Laura was rightly terrified of her tantrum, so ran back to Kate and Morgan to call the plan off, just as they were telling Paulie to vote for PD. She pulled Myles and Kate aside to let them know how angry Logan was, with her assuring them that she cannot afford to take out anyone but Paulie. But kind of inferred she was happy with them powering ahead. Karin and Zara joined the chat, with them agreeing it is smartest to stick with the plan, while Myles desperately complained to us about wanting to make a move. He caught up with AJ to let him know that the PD plan was dead, just as PD walked up to talk about how paranoid everyone was. And while they were able to assure him the plan is still Paulie, the fact that everyone ran round and round the island, you know this tribal council is going to be chaos.

Myles and Laura talked through Logan’s issues, and hearing that it was just Logan complaining that she ‘never’ gets her way, Myles was pissed. As the resident power bottom. While Logan assured us that she would be playing her idol for herself if Paulie pulled one out to save himself.  Zara and Karin meanwhile caught up with PD and Kristin, with the former Brains warning PD that he will likely cop some votes today. And when they found themselves alone, Kristin promised PD that should Paulie play an idol, she would 100% play hers for him. Soooo basically, Myles is stealing Logan’s idol, playing it for Paulie and PD is going home, based on the last couple of minutes, no?

At tribal council Morgan spoke about how hectic their afternoon had been, though admitted she was glad to be there and was ready to vote. Logan spoke about feeling comfortable that she knew what would happen tonight, though admitted she was worried about how it could change moving forward. Talk turned to all the pairs that had formed in the tribe, while Kristin freely admitted that she was looking for multiple buddies, so to not put her in a box. While zaddy Paulie would be happy to just have one buddy and ugh, stop bullying my speedo king. He admitted that he realised he was buddy-less, though tried to remind everyone that being alone also made him useful and as such, people should make the most of using him. Logan agreed that being alone could be useful to others, though suggested that Paulie isn’t the right person as he has proven himself untrustworthy. While our power bottom Myles reiterated that he just needs to prove himself trustworthy over time, if given a chance.

Paulie assured everyone that he has taken notes and plans to grow from this, and prove himself to the tribe. And should someone save him, he would owe them his life in the game and he would never forget it. And I know I am biased – and a little bit horny for him – but he was swap screwed and was just trying to save himself, move on. As Jonathan tried to send them off to vote, Myles whipped out his steal an idol advantage and suggested that people are scared enough to burn theirs tonight, so to save a needless idol plays, he would be stealing Kristin’s. Immediately proving my earlier prediction wrong. With that out of the way, the tribe went to vote before Myles became the hero of his queer community, playing Kristin’s idol for Paulie and sending her closest ally PD out of the game.

Like Jesse before him, not much was shown of PD on the show, but it was very clear when he arrived at Loser Lodge that he is an absolute sweetheart. And maybe the editors just didn’t want us to get too attached to someone that was kind of screwed by his injuries. Despite it all, PD was glad to have had the opportunity to have played and didn’t hold his bicep against the quiet-killer Kaelan. But who would focus on holding grudges when you’ve got a delicious Paul Spanakopdee Quiche sitting in front of you.

This little copycat number is frankly delicious! The saltiness of the jatz base perfectly cuts through the rich, creaminess of the cheesy, spinach filling. Plus, it is super easy, which always makes things taste just that little bit sweeter.

Enjoy!

Paul Spanakopdee Quiche
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
225g Jatz crackers
150g butter, melted
2 tsp olive oil
4 garlic cloves, minced
250g frozen chopped spinach
2 green shallots, thinly sliced
2 tbsp chopped fresh mint
250g cream cheese, at room temperature
⅓ cup sour cream
⅓ cup milk
4 eggs
80g feta, crumbled
1 cup vintage cheddar, grated

Method
Pop the crackers in a food processor and blitz until finely crushed. Still on, pour in the butter and mix until combined. Transfer the mixture to a quiche dish and press into the base and sides to form a shell. Transfer to the fridge for 15 minutes to set.

Preheat the oven to 160C before baking the crust for 10 minutes, or until golden. Leave to cool slightly.

While the base is baking, pop the oil in a skillet over medium heat, and cook the garlic for a minute or until nice and fragrant. Add the spinach, shallots and mint, and cook stirring for five minutes, or until it has defrosted and all the liquid has evaporated. Set aside until required.

Next, beat the cream cheese in a stand mixer until smooth. Reduce to low and slowly add in the sour cream, followed by the milk, until combined. Add the eggs one at a time, waiting until it comes together before adding the next. Turn off the mixer and fold through the spinach, shallots and mint, before seasoning with a good whack of pepper.

Pour the filling into the baked crust, top with the eta and cheddar, and bake for 20 minutes, or until setting. Leave to rest for ten minutes before serving and devouring, like a quiet king.


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Kimjesse Egg Sandoonan

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Breakfast, Main, Sandwich, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor sweet, gentle Kaelan continued to flex his muscle, as PD became his second victim at the reward challenge. Thankfully for his guilt, however, a torn bicep did not cost PD his place in the game. Though it did seem he would be sitting out of all the remaining challenges. Oh and Laura and Zara appeared to end their feud at the reward too! The Brain girlies were sick of Jesse and Ben’s bossiness, so planned to take them out. Sadly for them, I guess, they won immunity, sending Brawn back to tribal council. It was absolute chaos back at camp as while everyone seemed united against Paulie, they were all trying to use that to blindside AJ. Logan was gunning for him, as was Karin,, despite Zara trying to keep her calm. Luckily for them, they were all gagged when they arrived at tribal council to learn that Ben had quit off screen with zero context, saving them all.

We started the episode with an appearance from Jonathan – which always precedes something major – as the tribes were brought together for an epic challenge. As individuals, because they officially merged. Which was obvious based off the challenge structure alone, but I’ve digressed. Logan and Laura were giddy to be reunited, Kate was congratulating everyone while Paulie and Myles were thrilled to finally be on the same beach to serve twink and twunk. Logan told Laura about her idol as they hugged while Paulie felt like he was finally going to rise from the ashes. AJ, meanwhile, was ready to jag the world series poker championship that is Survivor. Seemingly unaware that, to reiterate, professional poker players traditionally don’t fare well in Survivor.

Rather than being sent back to camp, JLP actually put the newly formed tribe through their paces in the first individual reward challenge where they simply had to sloth on a rope the longest. With the victor scoring themselves a merge cocktail party with the guests of their choice. Kaelan’s second victim took his place on the sitout bench, before he was quickly joined by Laura, AJ, Karin and Jesse within the five minutes. Kaelan soon followed – this time without causing injury to anyone – followed by Kristin as Laura and Karin gossiped about who they could and couldn’t trust from OG Brawn. AJ meanwhile spoke to Kate to distract her from the pain of the challenge, while Karin read him for being super robotic and awkward. Myles was next to drop, followed by Morgan, leaving Laura, Zara, Kate and Paulie to fight it out. Despite the latter wriggling the entire time. Paulie eventually dropped, before Zara kicked off negotiations with the ladies to put an end to the challenge. With Logan and Zara dropping the instant Kate agreed to take them on the reward.

JLP pulled Kate aside to make her selections, sticking with the deal before she was given three more spots, opting for Morgan, Paulie and AJ. Thanks to his robotic chattiness. JLP then gave her one more ticket, with her selecting Kristin, which appeared to annoy Karin, despite the fact they hadn’t ever been on the same tribe. We followed the victors to their cocktail party where they smashed the snacks and grabbed their first drink. Right within sight of the merge camp, meaning the losers sat and bonded over their rage. Kate got to work bonding with the Brains she hadn’t met, hoping her time on reward would help get her out of the minority. She caught up with Logan and Kristin, with Logan telling them about the rival girls alliance and how they could now join together to take control. Karin meanwhile was heckling from the fire, frustrated to be slumming it with par-cooked beans, before chatting with Jesse about how chaotic AJ is. 

Eventually the two groups joined together with Logan thrilled to have Laura back, and now, was hoping to use their combined numbers to take control and stop voting how other people want. They caught up, with Logan awkwardly sending Kaelan away when they were talking. Zara was allowed to join, however, with Logan telling her that she doesn’t want to get AJ out yet, but when she does say she needs him gone, Zara needs to get on board or they are over. Zara then confronted Laura to make sure they cleared whatever air needed to be clear after non-advantagegate, with her explaining she didn’t try and steal it, but was actually trying to help Laura. While Logan watched on, telling us that Zara is quite challenging to deal with and as such, she is still on her hit list as soon as AJ is gone.

The next day the tribe bonded as they watched the sun rise before PD shared that before the game started, he asked a man what the Samoan word for stronger together is – and just like that, the Malosi tribe was formed. With that out of the way, everyone split up to continue the get to know you game. Well except for Paulie, who was fixated on reconnecting with the former Brawn to try and find some form of alliance, entrancing Jesse with a monologue about his strength. Paulie admitted that he was super nervous about AJ, though, given he was schmoozing his way around camp to rally the troops. Not to be outdone, Paulie caught up with Myles to find out why he has struggled to find allies with the icons talking about being chaotic to save themselves while in the minority and that also burns some bridges.  And ugh, please align, my queer kings. I need it. I mean, Myles told Paulie he would flourish as a bottom any day of the week.

Need. It.

The Graduates caught up under the cover of darkness later that night, with AJ in particular, thrilled to have his closest ally back by his side in the form of Myles. Both of them gloated about having all the information in the merged tribe, and while Myles was also nervous about Logan, he still wanted Jesse out first. I assume to reward the audience by having none of the idiots remain after merge.

No offense, Jesse. But you and Ben had some bad strategies. Really bad.

The next day the tribe reconnected with Jonathan for the first individual immunity challenge where they would have to balance on a seesaw, while maintaining three balls on individual tracks, with the last person standing taking out the win. PD obviously sat out immediately as everyone struggled to get their balance, so you assume one of our pilates girlies will take it, in the form of Zara and Logan, right? Laura was first out after touching her ball to readjust, quickly followed by Zara, immediately making me look as dumb as one of Ben’s strategies. And wrong. AJ soon followed, as did Kristin, Morgan, Karin, Kate and Kaelan. Everyone else lasted long enough to add their second ball, which immediately cost Paulie. After fifteen minutes, Myles dropped leaving Jesse and Logan to battle as they added their third balls. Despite some very near misses Logan continued to hold on until 20 minutes before Jesse wobbled out of nowhere, dropping and handing Logan victory.

And proving me right. Kind of.

Back at camp Logan rightfully thanked pilates for her win before gloating about not having to pack anything for tribal council. And the fact she has double protection with her hidden immunity idol, means she is ready to go on the attack. Jesse meanwhile was begging Morgan and Kristin to stick Brawn strong, with his goal to get rid of Zara. He went person to person to pull everyone in, hoping Myles would join them to take control. Logan caught up with Jesse and Paulie to float the plan to get rid of Zara, with her assuring Jesse that she is very keen to jump on board after what she did to Laura. Thankfully she knew that getting rid of Zara would upset Karin and ruin her majority, so she told us she was more likely to take out Jesse instead as it would actually not ruffle any feathers. 

Kate and Morgan were even more excited by the thought of getting rid of Jesse and taking control with the women. Though Kate was concerned about not having enough numbers and as such, she decided she needed to loop in AJ, so that she could get rid of Jesse tonight, so he doesn’t have the chance to find out about it. And surely it is a good move for AJ too, right? Womp womp, AJ was still fixated on zaddy Paulie and ugh, just stop. We need him to serve looks on the jury. Sexy, slutty looks.

Since AJ seems intent on ruining my life, he pulled the OG Brains aside to question why they aren’t splitting the vote, with them reluctantly agreeing to splitingt on Paulie. Paulie caught up with AJ to tell him that both of them need to lay low, and ugh, Paulie don’t try to help him. AJ quickly looped in PD about this new plan, saying that Paulie was the ultimate target, with PD okay, as long as Kristin was onboard. Wisely PD caught up with Kristin who warned him not to trust AJ, though agreed that Paulie also couldn’t be trusted and as such, neither of them really cared about who went home. Jesse and Paulie caught up in the ocean, hoping that their Brawn and Myles plan would come together to get rid of Zara. Making Paulie feel galvanised, confident and ready to take control. While Jessse was just thrilled to get revenge on Zara for what she did to Laura, seemingly unaware that he is the Brains real target.

As someone whacked Paulie in the face with a torch on the slow-mo walk to tribal council.

Paulie arrived at tribal council with a giant bandage on his head thanks to the aforementioned injury, courtesy of Laura rather than Kaelan, the resident brute. Zara spoke about how the merge felt like they’ve just started a second marathon, while AJ was just vibing, thrilled to have made a bunch of new friends and have new options. Kate agreed that being an open book is the only way to be, coming into merge, with AJ talking about how much he loves looking into fresh eyes. Specifically Kate’s baby blues, I presume. Logan meanwhile reiterated she is here to play the game and not just make friends, while Krsitin felt that the old tribes are dead and merge, truly, is a mixed bag. Zara meanwhile was grateful to have previously been on a tribe with every single person, hoping it would prove helpful in the long run. Which Jesse suggested made you a threat.

Paulie spoke about needing to switch things up post-merge, as predictability will get you voted out. While Myles diplomatically said he would be voting with the people that kept himself safe pre-merge. Not to be outdone, Jesse said his trust is through the richter scale. While Logan joked she would be voting for vengeance, before admitting she was just motivated by boring old solidifying alliances for the weeks ahead. With that the tribe voted, everyone held onto their idols before Jesse was gagged to find himself booted from the gang. Almost as gagged as Paulie, who copped five votes in the process.

As soon as Jesse arrived at Loser Lodge, I begged him to tell me why Ben quit, but sadly he gave me nothing. Which is kind of fitting, given that is what the editors gave the duo on the show. While we didn’t see much of Jesse on the show, he seemed like a really chill guy and well, sometimes, that is enough. That and a big old Kimjesse Egg Sandoonan.

While yes, this season has kind of been all about the sando – here’s to you, Zen and Nash – when they’re all unique, and all this good. It is hard to be angry. The kimchi and umami eggs work perfectly with the egg to give you a wholly satisfying meal.

Enjoy!

Kimjesse Egg Sandoonan
Serves: 1

Ingredients
1 tbsp unsalted butter
1 Beygel Knowles
2 tbsp kimchi, chopped
1 egg
½ tsp tamari
2 slices burger cheese

Method
Pop the butter in a skillet over medium-low heat until melted, and pop the bagel in a toaster.

When the butter is nice and foamy, add the kimchi to the skillet and cook for a couple of minutes, or until warm and the butter is rich and red. Whisk the egg and tamari together, before adding to the skillet, stirring until it is almost set. Using a spatula, shape into a sandwich sized portion and top with the cheese, cooking for a minute or two, or until it is melted.

Add the portion to the toasted bagel and devour, greedily, before the cheese drips onto the plate.


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Peanut Butter and Chocolate Bendt Bylett Cake

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Baking, Cake, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the Brains smashed parmies and pints, while Myles continued to piss off Zara and Laura as he ran his mouth trying to make friends. Despite the ladies assuring him that the OG Brawn will not move for any of them. At the immunity challenge, Laura and Logan caught up and agreed that both of their tribes were clearly trying to throw the challenge, rather than Ben and AJ just being flops when it came to shooting … baskets. Back at camp an injured Noonan was irate that AJ didn’t tell her he was throwing, given she could have saved herself the injury by not participating. She then told Logan that AJ was coming for her and continued the chaos at tribal council where Paulie played his idol, which in turn spooked AJ into playing his – infuriating Karin in the process due to him keeping it from her – before Noonan sadly went home.

We followed them back to camp where AJ congratulated Paulie on his correct idol play before begging Paulie to tell everyone the truth, that he didn’t throw out Logan’s name. Which led to the duo arguing back and forth about semantics, given AJ didn’t directly say to vote her out but he clearly, heavily implied it. Practically via sky writing. Seeing this for what it is, the tribe grew tired of it so all disappeared, as Karin congratulated Paulie on his successful idol play and assured him that she trusts him. This upset AJ, who asked her to stick around and talk to him, while he tried to explain that he kept the hidden immunity idol secret because that is what you do on Survivor. While Karin argued that she just felt that if they were aligned, there wouldn’t be any secrets between them. As Logan and Paulie giggled off to the side, absolutely living for the drama. Mama.

Things were slightly less tense the next day as AJ watched the sunrise before checking in with Karin as she tended the fire. Though given their conversations were all pleasantries, he should still be nervous, despite whatever assurances she may or may not have offered. He then joined Kaelan hunting for idols to thank him for working together and being a constant in the game. Karin, Logan and Kristin caught up to talk about the former’s very emotional reaction to the idol play, before it descended into swapping stories about how AJ is telling them all the same thing. And his robotic attempts at connection are giving them the ick. And ugh, I feel bad for him now! 

Paulie meanwhile was leaning into his strengths, wearing his speedo and looking like a gorgeous King. He then floated to the OG Brains that going to the merge together would be best for everyone, so they should just replace AJ with him instead. As he desperately wants to work with him, and that he is trustworthy and has integrity. Rather than AJ’s shiftiness. And he drastically improves their odds moving forward, given he has friends over on Brains. And while it was a good pitch, Karin knew Paulie was a snake oil salesman. But all of his sales come with a kernel of truth, and he is so damn likeable, that she kind of wants to see where things go anyway.

Over at the Brains Kate and Morgan were hanging by the shore and absolutely vibing, given they have the numbers advantage and don’t have to stress about anything. At all. Except for the fact that Ben and Jesse feel like they’re in control, and they aren’t feeling it, so would prefer to explore new opportunities. Jesse called everyone together for a snack, suggesting that this new tribe should be the new majority alliance rather than the OG Brawns, so they can all share margies at the Jury Villa. And while everyone smiled at the idea of having an alliance with everyone in the tribe, the girls had had it. Officially. They ventured down to the beach to wash off, reading him and his idea for absolute filth. We then got a proper introduction to Kate and ugh, she is an icon, she is the moment. She and Morgan pulled Laura and Zara aside at the well, assuring them that they want to work with them on this tribe and after the merge, despite their alliances on the other side. And just like that, Girls Gone Wild was formed and please, let this damn all women alliance stick as I need it in my life. Like, yesterday.

My love JLP returned for the immunity challenge where the tribes would face off using poles to hold a trough up. Aka the tribal version of When It Rains It Pours. Well, after a little kiki between the tribes about the mass of information that was dropped. Specifically between Zara and AJ, through mime. After Kate and Zara took their place on the sit out benches, the challenge was on. Well, for a brief moment, after Brains dropped out of nowhere in the first five minutes. With the surprise loss, everyone started to question who threw the challenge. With Morgan, in particular, irate. Obviously AJ did remind them it could have been a complete accident, but not a single Brain believed it. Particularly Laura. Though Logan was grateful to learn Zara and Laura felt safe. 

Back at camp things were very, VERY, tense, as Jesse spoke about how the challenge was just so hard, aye. Happy to be done with said new Brains strong alliance and ready to get rid of one of the OGs. Myles took Laura and Zara for a walk to lock something in. And by lock in, went hunting for an idol. Meanwhile, Ben and Jesse and the former Brawns were busy locking in all their votes for Laura. With a single vote on Myles for safety. Morgan and Kate offered to go talk to Laura and Zara, with Jesse telling them it is finally time for them to get some dirt on their hands. Which obviously pissed them off, just before they ran off to talk to them. Meaning the girls promptly re-confirmed the newly formed Girls Gone Wild alliance, with Laura hoping to loop in Myles. And when she learned she was Jesse’s target, she decided to target him instead. Kate and Morgan caught up about how they navigate around PD and Ben feeling betrayed, while Laura and Zara told Myles that he and Laura are the split vote. But if they all vote Jesse, they just may take control.

Jesse and Ben, however, were feeling a little bit spooked about how much the girls were getting along. And as such, thought about looping Myles in and getting the men to load all their votes on Laura. Hilariously talking about potentially talking to Myles IN FRONT OF MYLES. Ben and Jesse were feeling super confident about their new plan, but the more they spoke, the more Myles realised that they have no idea how the game is played, and as such, ensured he will stick with the women. Despite naming the men’s alliance the Hunkz based on one of Jesse’s tatts. The bobbsey twins then pulled PD aside to loop him in, as they happily wandered off thinking 4 was a majority in a tribe of 5.

While everything felt settled, Laura started to get nervous about whether Kate and Morgan are actually with her, so pulled Kate aside to confirm. Sadly, in front of the boys. After sending Kate off, telling her to tell them she is desperate and just throwing out plans, Laura went idol hunting. And while she didn’t jag an idol, she did jag an advantage. One so good, she felt like she would be on top. Zara stumbled upon her, with the duo locking in their trust as she shared the as yet unknown advantage. Which seems kinda dicey, given Zara’s angry fuck. Despite being current besties, Zara had had it. Officially. As she just can’t catch a break and felt like the advantage was actually a disaster. Laura pointed out it is a solo game and as such, was going to play it. Not to be out done though, Zara vowed to spill the information far and wide.

We pivoted straight to tribal council where Zara refused to vote for Laura, which kind of gave a hint of what the advantage was. Jesse spoke about struggling with the poles, and that is why they dropped, not him throwing the challenge or anything. Zara meanwhile whispered to Laura that she is a rat. And once JLP called it out, Laura tried to save face, by pointing out that whoever received the most votes tonight won’t be going home and instead they would join Brawn. Zara and Myles suggested it go down to an open forum, with Laura and Zara both putting their hands up. Myles asked what the goal would be of them going, with Zara and Laura sharing why they would be best placed to foster relationships heading into merge.

Ben suggested Laura just wants to go over to reunite with her bestie, with her countering that Zara’s bestie Karin is also there. Though when Ben and Jesse pointed out Karin is working with Kristin, things looked more hopeful. Well, for Zara. As Laura congratulated her on a game well played. Ben asked Zara if she would get rid of AJ if she were to go, with her assuring them she has no interest in playing with chaotic players. Leading to the former Brawns whispering about which one was the right decision. With that the tribe voted and Zara, narrowly, came out on top. And after eventually gathering her things, she wandered off to reunite with Karin. As Laura simmered with rage, telling everyone that she wouldn’t have done that to Zara.

We followed her off to her new tribe where Karin and Logan were absolutely delighted to see their former ally. She then regalled them with the tale of how she made her way there, with her conveniently saying that she and Laura found the advantage together. She assured Logan that while the OG Brains were on the bottom of the tribe, they had all worked their arses off to make some inroads with the tribe. She then asked if they could catch her up on what she had missed, though was unsure she should do that in a group setting, given it sounds pretty feisty.

The next day Laura was still simmering with rage at Brains, talking about how angry she was that Zara stole her exit to Brawn. And when Jesse apologised, not realising Zara was hijacking it and that he would have voted differently if he did, she assured him that all her anger is directed towards Zara. Kate too was frustrated, though at both Laura and Zara, because they were about to blindside Jesse. And still could have done that, if only they didn’t find the damn non-advantage. And now that they have to wait longer, their plans could leak before they have the chance to get him. As such, Kate caught up with Jesse to talk through plans post-merge, with him rightly clocking that their alliance could crumble and suggesting that they need to figure out their next moves. With him pitching they take out Zara at the merge.

Myles meanwhile was having a good laugh, given he once again copped votes at tribal council, even though he wasn’t part of it. Thankfully, though, he assured us that he wasn’t serious about aligning with the boys, given they are idiots (my words, not his). What he was serious about, though, was finding an idol, so he scurried away to go hunting. With him once again making easy work of it, pocketing the idol and keeping our pole-dancing bi king alive for another day.

Also Ben is nowhere to be seen around camp, which feels odd, no?

We checked in with the Brawns where Zara realised she was now living a life of luxury, while Karin was just delighted to have her bestie back in the game. And hopeful that she would be able to use Zara to get rid of AJ. He obviously knew it, following them around like a bad smell every time they tried to chat, with Kaz eventually storming off, enraged with him. AJ used the time to loop Zara in on the fact that he didn’t tell Karin about her idol and how that was the final straw, after his theatrics. Though he was now hopeful Zara would be able to help him smooth things over. He told her not to trust anything Paulie says. Which she agreed with, suggesting that once he is gone, she would like to turn their attention to Logan, as they cannot risk her and Laura reuniting at the merge. Which was music to AJ’s ears, as he felt he could finally claw his way back to the top.

My love JLP returned for the reward challenge where the tribes would face off 1 on 1, sliding down a ramp to collect a ring and then wrestle it to their pole. With the first tribe to three scoring a trip to the Survivor Spaghetti Shack. Just a reminder, they would be slipping a ring on their poles, which is important. Logan and Kate were first to battle, with the icons fighting hard before Logan scored the first point for Brawn. The twink and twunk faced off again, with Paulie dragging Myles and the ring to put Brawn further in front. Morgan then destroyed Karin before Ben, who apparently was just on the toilet earlier, tied things up over AJ. Who literally just gave up. PD and Kaelan then faced off for the win, with Kaelan once injuring someone, as medical were called in as PD’s arm made a cracking sound. 

As he received care, Kaelan ran to the side in tears, heartbroken to have injured someone. Again. As everyone assured him it was an accident. PD was moved off to a seat where JLP – a qualified doctor, need I remind you – and the doctor decided he may have just torn a tendon, given he could still move his arm. As everyone was focused on making sure Kaelan didn’t stress about his latest victim, Laura pulled Logan aside to warn her that Zara hijacked the non-advantage and not to trust her. Rather than calling off the challenge, JLP called that battle a draw and instead Zara and Laura would end their feud for the win. While JLP begged everyone to be gentle from now on. As they made their way to the top of the ramp, Zara apologised profusely and while it appeared that everything was all good, neither gave an inch during the challenge and after 10 minutes, Laura took out victory for the Brains. After JLP handed the Brains a scroll to explain how their feast would work, PD assured Kaelan everything was all good before he was taken off for further assessment, and ugh, seeing Kaelan break down in tears again was so heartbreaking.

We followed the Brains off to their reward where they read the scroll outlining they would each visit the shack solo. Being fair they all drew sticks, with Jesse first and Kate forced to go in last. Jesse ventured and absolutely demolished the entire set while going to town on some balls. After finding nothing, Ben went in to try, followed by Laura before Myles got to have his turn. And unlike the rest of the tribe, he emptied the bowl to discover a note telling him to check the shelf. Or so he thought, given the note actually said to check the shelter. And while he turned the place apart, he didn’t realise his mistake. Nor did Kate, who went last. 

Back at camp the Brawn tribe were heartbroken to have missed out on the spaghetti, though didn’t have time to dwell, as Kristin asked if anyone managed to get information from the other tribe during the challenge. Logan obviously stayed awkwardly quiet, given Laura told her that Zara threw her under the bus at the last tribal council. Logan pulled Karin aside to see whether they can trust Zara, particularly given she is close to AJ and may just let him get away with voting her out. Logan and Karin agreed they now have the ick with AJ and while they tried to float getting rid of him with Kaelan, the quiet killer still wanted to take out Paulie first. As such, the trio went idol hunting as Logan was convinced that AJ would be the death of her. She then immediately found the idol, thrilled to have some power. And can be assured that neither AJ or Paulie don’t have it. Oh and she managed to build a little trust with Kaelan and Karin in the process, which she hoped could help her take control at the merge.

Meaning PD is definitely not coming back and this episode is now just dedicated to setting up merge plot lines, no? Though watching Karin and Logan cackle about accidentally sending home AJ on a split was fun.

We checked in with the Brains where Kate held onto a massive bag of food for PD’s return, presumably to distract herself from how irate she was with Jesse for eating all the meatballs. While Myles was angry at himself for not finding the idol on the shelf. Thankfully he perked up after finding the scroll in the shelter, and this one was actually good, the power to steal an idol before JLP sends people off to vote at tribal council. Aka Knowledge is Power.

The tribes reunited for the latest immunity challenge where PD joined them with his arm in a sling. Again, the second person to become Kaelan’s victim. Thankfully for Kaelan’s guilt, PD was allowed to stay, Missy style, as his bicep was just torn. Though JLP cautioned that he may not be able to compete in every challenge. PD promptly sat out for the Brains meaning AJ had to sit out on Brawn. Which was wise, as it was a challenge that one person could throw. Everyone would hold a rope to balance a disc while they worked to build a stack of blocks on top. With the first to ten scoring immunity. Logan ran the Brawn tribe like it was a military operation, getting out to a huge lead as the Brains struggled to figure it out. Until Brawn dropped after loading their ninth block, opening things up for Brains. Brawn caught up and then dropped again, before Kate put everyone out of their misery, saving the Brains stack while placing the final block.

Back at camp Paulie and AJ were both feeling anxious, pulling their people aside to find some allies. Paulie tried his luck with Kristin, while AJ, Karin and Kaelan caught up, with AJ pretending he will be fine to be the split vote to apologise for playing so crazily. He, Karin, Zara and Logan caught up by the well with Zara telling AJ to pull his head in and make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid. As she will not tolerate his bullshit. Karin, meanwhile, wanted to make AJ sweat a little to punish him for his theatrics. As such, she caught up with Paulie with our zaddy reiterating that she can not trust AJ and he clearly isn’t going to help her make it to the end. And as such, she needs to jump on board his plan to get rid of AJ before he gets rid of her. Paulie pulled Kristin aside to float the idea of her playing her idol for him tonight to send AJ home instead. He made a very wise pitch, suggesting that if she saves him, at the merge they just need to pull PD over and then they can play the middle for the first few votes. Which Kristin found hilarious given she now holds all the power, and PD is actually her ally anyway.

AJ started to get nervous as Paulie and Logan kikied in the shelter, so pulled Kaelan aside to talk through the vote and make sure he didn’t need to worry, given Paulie seemed way too comfortable. AJ was confident that Kristin and Zara wouldn’t turn on him, but was concerned about Karin and Logan. And given he was nervous about a Paulie idol play, he wondered whether they should be talking out Logan instead. He clocked that Kate and Morgan would join Logan and Laura at the merge and become a dangerous foursome, while Paulie will always be a target. And while Kaelan tried to talk him off the edge, Zara joined the boys to confirm with them that the Paulie plan is still on. Kristin and Karin joined the fray, with Kristin telling them everything and shutting it all down. Though trust, Karin was kinda hoping for some drama or an idol play, so she could see AJ accidentally heading out the door.

When the Brains arrived at tribal council, the tribe – along with us – were gagged to learn that none of them would be going home tonight as tribal council was cancelled. Ben had opted to quit the game, off screen, leaving us with no clarity or final words. After an assurance that one of them just got a second chance, they all got sent back to camp as I made a beeline for the airport hoping to catch Ben. And while he was already through customs, I wasn’t able to get answers about his mysterious exit – let’s pray the producers give us something tonight – I was able to lob a Peanut Butter and Chocolate Bendt Bylett Cake to him for the flight home.

Despite leaving no impact on the season, Ben lucked out with arguably the best recipe – a NYT copycat – as this cake is God tier. I mean, you can’t go wrong with the combination of peanut butter and chocolate. And when we slather it in two glazes, it is even better.

Enjoy!

Peanut Butter and Chocolate Bendt Bylett Cake
Serves: 12.

Ingredients
240g smooth peanut butter
115g cream cheese, at room temperature
75g muscovado sugar
5 eggs, at room temperature
1 tbsp vanilla extract
430g flour
¾ tsp sea salt, plus a pinch for the icing
95g cocoa powder
240ml boiling water
240ml cold natural yoghurt
225g unsalted butter
120ml vegetable oil
400g caster sugar
1 ¼ tsp baking powder
¾ tsp baking soda
140ml thickened cream
60g smooth peanut butter
60g icing sugar
pinch of sea salt
55g dark chocolate

Method
First in a stand mixer, cream 180g of the peanut butter with the cream cheese and muscovado sugar using a paddle attachment on medium speed for five minutes, or until light and fluffy. Egg one of the eggs and a teaspoon of the vanilla, and mix until fully incorporated. Reduce to low and gently add three tablespoons of flour and ¼ teaspoon of salt and mix until just combined. Transfer to a bowl while you work on the chocolate cake.

Speaking of which, preheat the oven to 170C. Lightly butter a bundt tin and dust with cocoa to fully coat.

Pop the 95g of cocoa in a small bowl and whisk in the boiling water to form a nice, chocolatey slurry before adding the yoghurt and whisking to combine. Leave to rest.

Meanwhile combine the butter, oil and caster sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer and cream with a paddle attachment on medium for five minutes, or until light and fluffy. Reduce to medium and add the remaining four eggs one at a time, allowing the mixture to come back together after each addition, before adding the remaining vanilla. Whisk the remaining flour in a bowl with the baking powder, soda and salt. Reduce the mixer to low and slowly add a third of the flour until it is all combined. Add half the cocoa-yoghurt, and once it is combined, follow with a third of the flour, followed by the remaining wet ingredients and then the remaining flour until the batter comes together.

Pour about two-thirds of the chocolate batter into the lined bundt, spreading to form an even layer, before carving a little moat in the middle of the ring. Spoon in the peanut butter batter, before covering with the remaining chocolate batter, once again smoothing the top. Pop the bundt on a lined baking sheet and pop it in the oven to bake for 60-75 minutes, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean. Transfer to a wire rake to cool in the pan for ten minutes, before flipping and allowing to cool completely.

While the cake chills, get to work on the glazes. First, heat 60ml of the cream in a small pot and combine the remaining peanut butter with the icing sugar and a pinch of salt in a small bowl. Once simmering, pour the cream into the peanut butter and stir until combined.

Repeat the process with the remaining cream, this time pouring it over the chocolate in a separate bowl and stirring until it is melted and combined.

To decorate, transfer the cake to a baking sheet and spoon half the chocolate glaze over the top, allowing it to drip down the sides. Follow with half the peanut butter glaze, before repeating the process, swirling the glazes with a spoon to make it nice and pretty.

Allow the glaze to set for half an hour before carving and devouring, solo. While it’s namesake flies away from the island with no context.


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Laura Noonaan Pizza

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Main, Pizza, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor a surprise tribe swap – you know, a real one that wasn’t a random non-elim single switch – led to AJ going full Game of Thrones Mad King. He went wild and dominated the new Brawn tribe, vowing and then threatening to get rid of the OG Brawns if the Brains didn’t start throwing challenges. Which obviously annoyed the OG Brains who were in the minority on the new Brains, given they would be the ones taken out instead. With idols hidden at the last immunity challenge, both tribes took throwing to new heights until Kristin and Max snatched them and made everyone get back to work.After the Brains threw the challenge, the OGs tried to work together, however Max was too fixated on his feud with Myles to stay focussed for long. Despite pulling Zara and Laura to his side to vote out Myles and get him to burn his idol on Zara, Myles wisely played it for himself. Which made it even more satisfying as Max held on to his, before he learnt that the Brawn tribe had betrayed him instead, sending him home with an idol in his pockets.

The next day the Brains were wet and miserable, and while Myles was still alive in the game, he would have preferred to have been in the loop of the last vote. But hey, correct idol play is correct idol play. While he was disappointed to find out that Zara and Laura turned on him, he is luckily a power bottom and as such, was fine being back to riding the bottom. Whether he was being treated like Cinderella by Ben and Jesse, or not. Laura on the other hand was not doing well on the bottom, realising that Myles is a lot more resilient than she gave him credit for. Thankfully while Zara and Laura were struggling, the tribe spotted a rainbow and were ready for a food reward.

Over at Brawn, the tribe were also delighting in the rainbow, as AJ promised it is a sign of good things to come. Karin, meanwhile, was just glad to be in the clear majority and able to whittle down the numbers of the OG Brawn before the merge. Kristin was offering up crabs to Kaelan, before AJ caught up with Paulie telling him that he is so grateful to be on the new Brawn tribe with him as he can finally play. While assuring us that he is both on the top and happy to replace anyone in his alliance at any given time. And as such, wanted to use the Brawn members as his puppets. First, he pulled Noonan aside and told her that he definitely wants to work with her and run the merge together. His new target? Logan, given she has so many friends on the OG Brains and could easily be the one to dominate once they merge. As could Paulie, so he was his other option. And Noonan – how DARE you – agreed that Paulie would try and protect her, but would never stop the vote if it was locked in. So would be open to either option.

We checked in with my zaddy who was definitely feeling nervous, while AJ moved on to Kristin to lock her in. Sadly for them, Paulie appeared at that very moment and the conversation shut down immediately. Paulie and Kristin then went for a walk and swapped stories, with Kristin going out on a limb and pointing out that she would prefer to target Noonan and AJ next. And seeing the writing on the wall, Paulie was happy to target out his closest ally and not make room for Noonan’s Jack on the door. And leverage Kristin’s idol if required, rather than his own. Though Kristin assured us that her idol is only for her, no matter what Paulie may think.

My love Jonathan made his first appearance of the episode for the latest reward challenge where the tribes would face off 1 on 1 to knock their opponent’s idol to the ground. This time with the added complication of a second idol on a pole which they also needed to knock off. First tribe to three winning parmies and pints and ugh, I could use that right about now. First up were Ben and Kaelan with our nipple king narrowly securing the first point for Brawn. Kristin made quick work of Zara, before PD defeated zaddy Paulie and put Brains on the board. Jesse then tied things up against AJ, giving us a challenge as Karin and Morgan battled for the win. Which ended in a whimper as Karin failed to flick hers high enough, when knocking at Morgan, which handed Brains the win.

We followed the Brains off to the Survivor pub, where the victors quickly skulled a pint before sitting down to smash their parmies. Which everyone assured us was the best they’ve ever tasted, despite it not being a Mexican parmie in honour of our nude king John. Zara, meanwhile, was miserable given the OG Brawns were still ignoring her, and/or shutting her down any time she tried to talk to them. Despite being hopeful about making inroads with them after voting how they wanted the night before. Zara, Laura and Myles caught up with Morgan and Kate, and while Zara tried to connect with the girls, Myles interjected and continued to talk about how he has absolutely no allies. Particularly given AJ was making everyone’s life harder. He continued to go full Ally, spilling all of the OG Brains secrets to try and win some friends in the hopes of making it to merge. As Laura and Zara looked on angrily, willing someone – the other Ursula – to take his vocal chords.

That night the tribe returned to camp where Zara and Laura confronted him for running his mouth, and while Zara fulled mum-ed him. Myles was having NONE of it, calling them out for turning on him at the last tribal council. Though eventually Zara and Laura pointed out that no matter what he does, the Brawns are not with him and want all three of them gone, so they’re better laying low and not throwing their allies under the bus. While the OG Brawns stayed by the shelter and agreed that they wanted to boot the OG Brains one after the other, and easily skate to merge.

Jonathan returned for the immunity challenge where AJ wished the Brains a hearty good luck, before they raced through a series of obstacles to collect sections of ladder until they could build it and climb a tower. They would then secure baskets in place, with the first to toss three balls in said baskets taking out the win. Kaelan punished his log – swoon – and quickly secured the Brawns their first section of ladder. PD eventually cut through his, with Myles and Zara making quick work of the knots on the second obstacle and giving Brains the lead. Jesse then powered through the third obstacle, as did Paulie, allowing Brawn to close the gap once again. It then became a shoot out as Ben quickly landed his first basket, while AJ floundered. Eventually he scored one, followed by Ben landing his second. AJ then closed the gap before AJ and Ben got to talking, with both of them admitting that they were trying to throw the challenge as Laura and Logan speculated the same. JLP started to get sick of waiting, so threatened to call off the challenge and make both tribes vote someone out. Which quickly changed Ben’s tune, as he landed his third basket and put everyone out of their misery.

Much to Noonan’s simmering rage, as she would have preferred to not try so hard in the challenge. As she raged, Jesse suggested that they could just send AJ home tonight if they’re annoyed with him. Kaelan pointed out that Ben was also throwing, and suggested AJ was just reacting. And while Ben denied it, Laura was well and truly pissed. Despite the OG Brawn assuring everyone Ben wouldn’t have done it. While AJ limply asked Ben why he was hiding it as the tribes departed.

Back at camp things were, in a word, tense. Noonan more than anyone, given she rolled her ankle during the challenge when AJ was throwing. AJ explained his decision, given he saw that a Brain had gone home and as such, the other Brains would always work with them come merge, so they need to take out people that won’t work with them on this tribe. Noonan then ran her mouth, telling Logan that AJ actually wanted to get rid of her to weaken Laura, given she is a shoo in to win. Eventually the fight quietened down, as everyone went their separate ways. Logan pulled Kaelan and Karin aside to float getting rid of AJ instead and while Kaelan assumed Noonan was lying to him, the girls were sure that AJ definitely said that. With Kaelan just suggesting that AJ is now hated by everyone in the game and as such, he will always be a target and they would be protected. At least for one vote.

Despite everything, AJ was confident that his plan hadn’t gone as bad as it looked, and while Noonan put a wrinkle in the plan, it was salvageable. The OG Brains caught up to lock in their votes, with Paulie and Kristin joining and putting an end to it. And while Karin admitted the Brawns are in trouble, they agree to join in the split vote against Noonan if it would save them. Sadly for AJ, though, he counted out more votes for Paulie, in front of Paulie, alerting him to the fact that he is actually the plan. Despite the fact that Kaelan quickly pulled him up on it. After the Brawn duo left, Logan told AJ that she hates hearing your name whether it is true or not. And while he rightly pointed out that he doesn’t have the numbers to get rid of her anyway, she still looked pissed.

Noonan and Paulie were hanging out by the fire, admitting that they had no hope but to vote for each other. As everyone else went idol hunting, Noonan sat by the fire with her sore ankle and cried and TBH, it was hard to watch. AJ approached her to remind her that he told her she is safe, and as such, she decided to create her own version of chaos. She then went to Logan and Karin, lying to them and saying that AJ was still trying to take out Logan and they should all just band together to get rid of him. Paulie caught up with Logan, Karin and Kaelan, calling it sketchy and cheap to throw immunity challenges and pointed out that if they were to blindside AJ, they would have strong allies in himself and Noonan. Logan was still furious and while Karin and Kaelan were happy to still get rid of Paulie, she pulled Kristin aside to float the idea of joyfully getting rid of AJ in the swiftest show of karma.

Oh and trust and believe, Paulie was planning to play his idol no matter what.

At tribal council AJ quickly owned throwing the challenge, despite the fact he told the Brains to throw it first. He then explained it was all about keeping the OG Brains in the numbers. Noonan called out AJ for having way too many plans, and said that she felt burnt by him with Paulie pleading with the OG Brains to see the light and get rid of him ASAP. Logan agreed that it would be mad for her to continue to trust AJ despite his untrustworthiness. Noonan and Paulie then double teamed AJ, while he suggested that everyone of the OG Brains are aligned on their decision making, whether they were part of the plan or not. Though trust, Karin doesn’t trust anything he says. Paulie meanwhile leaned hard into integrity, telling the Brains that he wanted to win the game the right way. Not like AJ.

To his credit, AJ tried to defend himself, leading to Paulie saying that AJ immediately told him they need to get rid of Logan after the tribe swap. And while Paulie said that he was coming for Logan, AJ pointed out he actually saved her when Rich was voted out. Noonan called bullshit on it, pointing out AJ came to them with the plan to get rid of Logan. And while they went hard, he was confident that he proved himself by saving Logan and as such, he didn’t need to entertain things further. Noonan continued to fight her best fight, pointing out that if she goes home tonight, one of the Brains will go home soon enough, so they should make a move while they can. She then got sombre, pointing out that she and Paulie knew they’d have to vote each other out eventually and while he loves her, he loves himself more and will do what he needs to do, to survive.

With that the tribe voted and after the absolute chaos, Paulie decided to play his idol for himself. AJ then realised that everyone had accidentally voted for Paulie and forgot to split the votes, so he pulled his idol out to play for himself, despite Noonan trying to convince him not to. Which angered his alliance, who felt like he should have told them about it. JLP finally got to tallying the votes, with all the votes coming in for Paulie and AJ before Noonan was sent out of the game with just two votes. From Paulie and Kristin. After Noonan eventually hobbled in to Loser Lodge, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that she is 100% my favourite of the famous Noonans. Neglecting to mention that I have no idea who the other Noonans are. I assured her that she was my winner pick after the first episode and do believe she would have made it far, if she wasn’t screwed by the swap. Which was honestly super kind of me, so between that and some Laura Noonaan Pizza, she felt much better.

Obviously I neglected to mention that my little Survivor Pizza Curse is potentially responsible for dooming her. Thankfully it is so tasty – and easy – that she wouldn’t have cared about it anyway. 

Enjoy!

Laura Noonaan Pizzas
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 Dannaan Beard
¼ cup tomato paste
1 tbsp dried oregano
¼ cup antipasto mushrooms, sliced
¼ cup sundried tomatoes, sliced
1 cup gruyere, grated
3 stalks thyme, leaves removed

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C and pop the naans on a lined baking sheet.

Smear the bases with tomato paste and sprinkle with some dried oregano. Dot with the mushrooms and tomatoes, before topping with the gruyere and thyme.

Transfer to the oven to bake for 10 minutes, or until the cheese is golden and crisp. Then devour, greedily.


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Maxiwillsiam Affair

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Drink, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Myles was busy chatting his way into the bottom of the new Brains tribe. Max too was left out in the new tribe, but he at least found an idol, so had some form of safety Max, Zara and Laura didn’t. Despite Paulie’s best efforts, the new Brawn tribe lost their second immunity and as such, AJ planned to make the OG Brawn members his hostages to try and force the Brains into throwing challenges and save them. Which isn’t good for his original tribemates Zara, Myles, Max or Laura, no? While he was confident that it was the best plan ever, his allies were not on board in the slightest, nor was Ursula. But that latter part didn’t matter, given she was promptly booted from the game.

The next day AJ was thrilled to have gotten his way at tribal council and come up with a killer plan. Sadly for him, Logan was frustrated by said alleged killer plan and thought he was an idiot, given his moves not only impact them, but their allies on the other side. Specifically Laura. Karin and Kaelan agreed it was a bad idea, but weren’t seething and hoped they could somehow reel him in. Logan being an icon pulled Kristin aside to talk about AJ’s flippant play, with Kristin agreeing he has lost the plot and is definitely not thinking straight. Though the duo agreed not to tell anyone else how they were feeling, because if AJ gets nervous, he is likely to do something even sillier. He then approached Kristin in the water, with her expertly acting like she has no idea how the game is played and was just happy to go with the flow. Though trust and believe, she wanted to kick AJ to the curb ASAP.

We checked in with the Brains where Max was busy meditating, as Myles continued to talk – and talk and talk – about how he played the game too hard, too fast and as such, deserved to be on the bottom of the OG Brains. He realised that he has been a power bottom all game, and was now stuck with his nemesis Max and the OG Brawn members, who made it clear they were not budging from getting rid of a Brain. Max meanwhile was vibing, confident he was the Brawn’s favourites of the OG Brains, and with an idol in his pocket, he was feeling his oats. He quickly approached Jesse and got him to agree to get rid of Myles, with him obviously just giving a yep before Max ran off to pull in Laura.

And Max is totally getting owned this episode, right? Again.

JLP made his triumphant return for the immunity challenge where AJ quickly told the Brains tribe that he has hostages and he is willing to vote one off tribal after tribal unless they start throwing challenges. Much to the rage of Zara and Laura, given it meant they would be the collateral damage on their tribe. But back to the challenge, the tribes would unload sandbags from a canoe and then carry it up the beach to release puzzle pieces and then toss balls on a trough. After begging Brains to not throw the challenge, Zara and Kate sat out as Brawn powered ahead to win the challenge without the need for Brains to throw, just like Kaelan wanted to do. Though given how far ahead they got, maybe the Brains were throwing it. Wait, no, they were throwing, as Morgan, Ben and Jesse admitted they were all individually taking their time.

Sadly for them, Brawn solved the puzzle alerting the OG Brains that a hidden immunity idol was in one of their sandbags. Laura ran off to try and snatch it, and give the OG Brains some hope. This led to Jesse and Ben abandoning the challenge in the hope of keeping it out of her hands, soon followed by Morgan. After Logan landed her ball for Brawn, she joined the hunt for their idol, bitching and moaning to the new Brains about AJ’s chaos. While Myles screamed at Ben to come back and help him and Max with the puzzle, the Brawns each joined the hunt before Kristin snatched it. The Brains, meanwhile, couldn’t find it before Myles straight up came down, grabbed it and continued to yell at them to try and win the challenge. The Brains then managed to close the gap as Karin was the last Brawn standing, getting more and more nervous, until she put everyone out of their misery as she finally secured immunity.

Back at camp the OG Brains were absolutely livid, with Zara in particular irate and mocking the Brawns for being a mess. Ben was confident that they’ll be able to stay Brawn strong, despite Myle’s idol complicating their plans. Now, they planned to flush his idol and put four votes on Max to take him out instead, given his idol is still a hidden one. Brawn planned to tell each Brain that they are not the target in the hope that it would create so much confusion that Myles is too scared to play the idol for anyone but himself. Laura, being smart, realised that the OG Brawn were planning on splitting their votes and as such, the four OG Brains just needed to stick together. And while everything seemed good, Max couldn’t understand that they were all trying to save him with this plan, and that he just needed to vote for Kate and shut up. But given he couldn’t look Zara in the eye and say he would work with them, it did not look good.

Max went full Indy, feeling like they were dictating plans to him and he wasn’t happy, so pulled Ben and Jesse aside to jump in on their plans. He then shared that he believes Myles has no interest in playing the idol for himself, so if they were smart, they could still vote him out. Or Zara, given she threatened to kill him if he crossed her. Which is flawed logic if she genuinely planned to kill him, but alas, he locked in the split vote between Zara and Myles. And damn, I really want him to not play his idol and embarrass himself again, so please, make it happen universe. Max then followed Jesse around like a bad smell all afternoon, talking about how great the plan is, while Jesse subtly tried to find out who the OG Brains would be voting for.

Wanting to help his pal out, Max pulled Laura aside to bring her up to speed on his plans to betray them. Sadly for him, she shut him down instantly. She tried to calmly explain that this is their chance to claw back the numbers, with Max instead hyper fixated on getting revenge on Myles and Zara. Seeing he refused to budge and therefore the plan was dead, Laura eventually joined the flip to save herself, but when she caught up with Zara, she told her everything too and suggested they both join Max in throwing Myles under the bus. And while Zara wanted to save him, she didn’t see any other way to save Myles. Even as he agreed to play his idol for her. The OG Brawns meanwhile caught up as Jesse floated the idea of taking Max out instead, despite assuring him he has nothing to worry about. While Max laughed it up about the fact he will be getting his way tonight like a budget Ace Ventura. And he assured us that if it feels weird at tribal council, he had an idol in his pocket for protection.

At tribal council Ben spoke about missing JLP, but was glad to get back to the game and take another person out. Max continued to talk about how exciting tribal council is, admitting he is feeling confident and looking forward to building trust with this vote. Myles meanwhile spoke about his power bottom credentials, and knew he was an easy target to take revenge on AJ, given he is his closest ally. Ben spoke about it being an easy vote, until Myles found the idol, and admitted he was now a little bit worried. Jesse agreed they’ve had to shuffle things around, but he was hopeful things would still work out for the OG Brawn. Laura spoke about wishing the Brains could stick together, while Myles knew that an idol could only protect him for one vote but he would prefer to use it to lock in alliances. While Zara was wanting to build bridges in the tribe, and not cause drama like AJ was doing. Max, meanwhile, felt it was a great idea to play as a swing vote tonight and he wanted to power through the game like a steam train with his new allies. Laura said that can happen with whoever he chooses, though Max was confident that after tonight, he will be on the right side of the numbers. Myles on the other hand was just hoping he was trusting the right people to save himself.

With that the tribe voted, Myles played his idol for himself and negated four votes against him before a single vote landed on Kate and the rest of Max, sending him out of the game with an idol in the pocket. Once again burnt at tribal council like an absolute fool. As he arrived at Loser Lodge, I spent a quick minute pointing and laughing at him for once again being burned at tribal council before pulling him in for a hug and thanking us for the memories. And giving us another, very satisfying pre-merge boot. Which is enough to earn him a gloriously strong Maxiwillsiam Affair.

Given Max gave us a gloriously epic downfall, I kind of felt I owed him something special. And this cocktail definitely fits the bill. All at once floral, tart and packing a punch, it is the perfect palette cleanser after a bitter blindside.

Enjoy!

Maxiwillsiam Affair
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
30ml mezcal
30ml elderflower liqueur
15ml red vermouth
15ml lemon juice

Method
Fill a cocktail shaker with ice, add all the ingredients and shake well.

Strain into a glass, garnish with some peel and down. Smugly.


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Lemon Chicken Orzula Rose

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Main, Pasta, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the tribes switched things up leaving four Brains and Brawn as the minority on their new tribes. After finally clawing the majority back on OG Brains, Myles and Zara were particularly disheartened to be with Laura and Max, who weren’t exactly their closest people. Meanwhile after losing the immunity challenge the new Brawn majority were chaos; Rich wanted Logan gone, AJ was happy to join him, though not vote her out and Logan was just annoyed to be voting someone out. The OG Brawns were not much better as Ursula’s feud with Noonan created more chaos and when Ursula wouldn’t vote for anyone else, the two tribes had to join together to take out Rich instead. While Ursula fired a warning shot at Noonan, for reasons.

The next day the new Brains tribe were miserable as their terrible shelter got inundated by rain. Thankfully this introduced us to Ben, who finally arrived on screen in Episode 8 to bitch about how shitty it was, before leading the tribe to pull together an epic shelter so they can actually get some rest. As Myles chatted away with him rather than helping. He then went to Jesse to talk shit about Max playing chaotically at their final OG Brains tribal council, and just giving them all the intel. Leading to Zara pulling Myles aside to beg him to stop flapping his gums and give them some secrecy so they could find a crack in the Brawns. As the girls seemingly came together over his madness.

Over at the Brawn, Kaelan was living his best life, living in warm, dry, luxury. AJ too was loving himself sick, given he got rid of Rich and won the hearts and minds of many. The one wrinkle being that Ursula is still there, but totally miserable. He pulled Kristin aside for a chat to figure out what she was thinking, with her pledging her undying loyalty, suggesting they need to get rid of Paulie as he is the actual threat. And ugh, I want to stan her, but don’t come for my Paulie. We then got a close-up on Kaelan’s nips as Noonan tried to make conversation with Ursula who promptly shut her down as they sat in silence. Knowing she and Paulie could be in danger, Noonan pulled AJ aside to gauge how he was feeling, with him obviously suggesting they get rid of Ursula ASAP. And that the two of them and Paulie will be the best of friends once they merge.

But realistically, AJ has all the power.

JLP made his triumphant return for the next immunity challenge, where they would hold onto numbered pegs dotted along the wall, while two people from the rival tribe would toss sandbags at numbered coconuts to remove the corresponding pegs. Brains knocked out a couple in their first round, while Brawn got none. Another three pegs dropped for Brains in the next round, while Brawn got nothing. Again. Brains knocked another two in the next round before Brawn finally got the single peg Zara was standing on, and took one out from Kate. Finally, it became a showdown as AJ’s strategy to focus on the footholds knocked Zara off the wall. Karin soon followed, as did Myles and Kaelan, tying things up. It was at this point, AJ suggested the Brains should just throw the challenge, given they have the numbers advantage, while Brawn is tied up and anything could happen if they go back to tribal council. Jesse and Ursula then dropped, as did Kristin and Logan leaving Paulie as the only hope, literally hanging there like Jesus. Until he was literally hanging on by a single peg for two rounds before he finally dropped, handing Brains immunity.

Back at camp AJ was positively buzzing for the vote ahead, pulling Karin aside to see what she was thinking, with the duo feeling they needed to split the rival duo of Paulie and Noonan up with the former being the bigger threat, rather than Noonan. That being said, AJ also wanted to get rid of Ursula ASAP, as she is immovable which is even more annoying to work around. AJ explained that keeping Paulie and Noonan around will also spook the OG Brawns over at Brains into thinking they’re hostages and trick them into throwing some challenges. As AJ locked in Paulie and Noonan to vote with them to get rid of Ursula, Karin tried to woo Kaelan who put his foot down and said that Paulie is the one they need to deal with as Ursula will always upset someone, while Paulie is likeable. And since Logan was also in to take out a threat – noooooo – they just needed to convince AJ.

After Karin found a maggot in her food, we followed Paulie as he tried to convince Ursula that they can take control if she and Noonan stop coming for each other. As Ursula used the age-old excuse for targeting Noonan, being that Noonan came for her first. Noonan and Kristin joined in, with the OG Brawn agreeing to put it all to rest and convince the Brains to split their votes, so they can load their votes on Karin and boot her instead. With Ursula and Noonan apparently united, it was Noonan that flipped first, going to Karin and Logan to throw Ursula under the bus as the mastermind. And while it is suss, it could keep Paulie safe and as such, I stan. Karin, AJ and Logan caught up with Kristin and Paulie, with OG Brawn denying ever hearing about said plan. AJ obviously saw right through it, knowing the plan clearly came from Paulie. While Kristin told Ursula what Noonan did, instantly ending the truce. For good.

The OG Brains tried to make a decision who to get out as Noonan dropped by to find out what they were planning, leading to Ursula dropping by and blocking her from making any inroads. The Brains were worried that Ursula’s unpredictability was more dangerous than Paulie’s likeability, so locked in the plan and thankfully decided to keep Paulie. Just as he dropped by to check if he should be worried. AJ then went to each Brawn duo to tell them the Brains were split in their decision, so they would be able to decide who to vote for at tribal council. He then straight up clocked one of Noonan or Paulie had an idol, and told them if they did have one, he would signal for them to play it if needed.

At tribal council AJ said that the old tribes are dead to him, though his plan was to create the optics of hostages in the OG Brawn to force the new Brains tribe to throw challenges. This was a surprise to his allies, as Kaelan suggested he just wanted to win some challenges, while Karin shut it down, wanting to make friends rather than force people into being friends in a non-consensual way. Paulie meanwhile was keen to play hostage for AJ, if it saves him, while Ursula had no intention of playing hostage and doesn’t see any of the Brawn throwing a challenge. Ever. Karin meanwhile pointed out that they may have to throw challenges, though, if they want an advantage at the merge.

With that the tribe voted, Paulie held onto his idol despite a look from AJ, and everyone except Kristin came together to boot Ursula from the game. As Ursula arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled her in for a massive hug and applaud her on navigating her feud with Noonan as long as she could. I mean, sure, both of them could have not been petty and worked together for their own goods, but you see, I’ve known Urusla for years as she went to school with my cousin. And I was the one that taught her everything I know about pettiness. As such, it was kinda my fault, so I glossed over it as we shared a comforting Lemon Chicken Orzula Rose.

Lemon, parmesan and chicken are kind of like the holy trinity of flavours. And this gloriously tart orzo paired with this crispy, classier version of a chicken shnitty just proves it.

Enjoy!

Lemon Chicken Orzula Rose
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
¾ cup flour
¾ tsp kosher salt
1 tsp freshly cracked black pepper
2 eggs
1 cup panko breadcrumbs
½ tsp garlic powder
1 cup parmesan cheese, grated
2 chicken breasts, sliced in half horizontally
olive oil
1 tbsp butter
6 spring onions, sliced
6 garlic cloves, minced
1 cup orzo
2 cups chicken stock
1 lemon, zested and juiced
¼ cup double cream

Method
Preheat the oven to 160C.

Combine the flour in a shallow bowl with half a teaspoon each of the kosher salt and black pepper. In another, whisk the 2 eggs, and another, combine the breadcrumbs, garlic powder and three quarters of a cup of the parmesan.

Dredge the chicken in the flour, then dip in the egg before coating in the cheesy breadcrumbs. Pop on a lined plate and repeat until the schnitzels are prepped. 

Heat a good lug of olive oil in a large frying pan over medium heat. Once nice and hot, add the chicken and cook for 5 minutes, before flipping and cooking for a further five minutes. Pop on a lined baking sheet and place in the oven to keep warm.

Pop a lug of olive oil and butter in a large skillet over medium heat. Once melted and foamy, add the spring onions and garlic and cook for a minute before adding the rest of the pepper. Mix in the orzo and cook for another couple of minutes, before stirring in the stock and bring to the boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer, stirring frequently, for about 15 minutes or until cooked through.

Remove from the heat and stir in the lemon zest and juice, remaining parmesan and double cream until the cheese has melted.

Serve immediately, dividing the orzo between four bowls and topping with a piece of chicken. Before devouring, greedily.


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Rich Houzos, Lemon and Mint

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Drink, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor after Rich landed on the Brawn tribe, he proved clutch in securing them an Ikea comfort collection. Sadly for him, however, when Karin and Usula were locked in a wrestling battle for half an hour, she warned Ursula that the Brawns can’t trust him under any circumstances. After Brains lost the immunity challenge, Rich handed off his safety without power advantage to allow Max to take control. And oh boy, did that make Max’s already abundant confidence explode into insufferable arrogance. His sights, as they oft are, were firmly set on Myles, completely unaware that the Coven break-up had created a new majority between Karin, Zara, Myles, AJ and Kaelan. And when he sent Laura and Karin were sent away from tribal council, the new majority blindsided him and took out Ally. Much to Logan’s rage at Max.

We followed the splintered tribe back to camp where Karin and Laura were shocked to see Ally had been booted, as Logan bitched at the girls about Max flipping on everyone. The Graduates meanwhile pulled Max aside to have a couple of lols at him being blindsided by his own advantage, and that he burnt his last couple of allies in the process. Everyone came together where Logan completely cussed him out before he eventually explained he didn’t vote for Ally and threw Zara under the bus. Who instead of admitting she has a new alliance, tried to convince Logan that she pulled a Cara and cooked the vote and damn, Zara can act too? Queen, I love her. I mean, Logan was hugging her to make sure she was okay by the end of her performance, given tribal council was such a chaotic mess.

And given the graduates were feeling super confident about being in charge, we know a little twist is imminent, no?

Right on cue JLP arrived for a reward challenge for sandwiches. Which the winning new tribe would be feasting on, as it is now time to switch things up. Officially. After everyone dropped their buffs, the new Brains tribe consisted of Ben, Laura, PD, Kate, Morgan, Myles, Zara, Jesse and Max while the new Brawn tribe was made up of Ursula, Kaelan, Rich, AJ, Logan, Noonan, Paulie, Kristin and Karin. But anyway, the challenge. One at a time, the new tribes would swim out to a platform to memorise symbols and then recreate it back on shore. First tribe to three scoring the reward. Laura and Kaelan were up first with the latter absolutely dominating the swim and scoring the first point for new Brawn. Rich continued the streak defeating Zara, before Ursula and Kate both got theirs wrong on the first round, giving Ursula a huge head start to fix hers and take out the win for Brawn.

We followed the new tribe back to their camp where everyone was delighted to see the sandwiches. While the former Brains were more shocked to see the luxury their rivals were living in. Karin was even more thrilled to be in the majority, though was kind of stressed, given that majority included Rich. He told the former Brains that Brawn had a far better culture than theirs, unaware that they all thought that he (and before him, Kent) was the problem, not the tribe. When Logan defended the Brains, Ursula decided to hold Rich’s beer and told everyone she has been on the bottom the entire game and is the person the Brawns were all against.

Over at the new Brains tribe, Zara was shitting her pants, stuck in the minority with Max and Laura, two people she could not work with. Ever. Under any circumstance. The former Brawns immediately disappeared to strategise by the well, while Zara and Myles went hunting for advantages and locked in their loyalty to each other. And agreed to throw Max and Laura under the bus, in that order. Sadly for them, it was Max who jagged the idol they were searching for. Though given it filled Max with confidence, we know it will somehow screw him over because it is Max and if there is one thing he is going to do, it is get cocky and fuck something up.

The tribes reconvened with Jonathan for the immunity challenge where they would race to untangle chests from a pole to release a key, use the key to unlock the chests and carry them through an obstacle course, before unlocking them to release tiles, which they would push up a slope with a thin pole and land at the top of a wall. It was super hard to follow who was ahead, until Brawn got themselves knotted and handed Brains the lead. While new Brawn tried to close the gap, Brains continued to power through the course allowing Ben plenty of time to practice how to use the pole before Brawn joined the fray. Pushing the tiles up proved to be quite the challenge though, leading to both tribes desperately trying to figure it out. And with Noonan coaching Rich, Brawn quickly landed two in a row before Ben and PD closed the gap, giving us a challenge. As the Brains quickly landed their third, after Rich refused to be subbed out at Brawn.

Insert eye roll.

Back at camp things got pretty awkward pretty quickly, as Karin worried that Rich would be their undoing. She, AJ and Logan caught up, with AJ suggesting it could be safest to throw Rich under the bus and tell the OG Brawn that they’re interested in getting him out. That, or target Noonan and then go for Rich next. They took the plan to Rich, who was keen to get rid of her. Noonan meanwhile pulled Kristin and Ursula aside to come up with a plan. Though given Ursula hasn’t been aligned with Paulie and Noonan all game, and it all hinges on working together, things don’t look good. Particularly since Noonan and Ursula argued the entire time they hung by the well to lock in the vote. Eventually Paulie got them to calm down long enough to agree to vote for Logan, allowing him time to pull Rich aside and float the plan with him. And given Rich wasn’t overly keen on Logan, he was pretty open to turning on her.

AJ meanwhile wasn’t confident in being Brains strong, so pulled Paulie aside to catch up – and flirt? My basement, stahp – with the zaddy floating the idea of him joining Brawn to get rid of Logan. AJ then caught up with Rich, with them both agreeing that potentially getting rid of Logan would be best for their games and ugh, I went from a budding gay romance to losing a queen. It was whiplash in a minute. AJ’s plan, however, was for Rich to vote Logan but for him to stick with the OG Brains to be able to play both sides. Which was all well and good, except Rich wanted him to vote out Logan too, otherwise Rich planned to come for AJ next.

Logan meanwhile was catching up with Ursula and Kristin by the fire, with the trio talking about how hard it is to vote someone out already, given they haven’t been together very long. With Logan using it to her advantage, pointing out that Noonan and Ursula clearly hate each other given the former was rolling her eyes at her. Ursula went straight to confront Noonan, as AJ told them that Rich was planning to get rid of Logan and as such, the two of them need to stick together. Paulie then ran off to lock in Rich while Ursula and Noonan continued their fight with Ursula admitting that she wasn’t sure whether she will vote for Logan or Noonan after the drama.

Ursula then walked off as AJ realised the Logan vote was not, in fact, coming together. As such, he pulled Karin aside to let her know that Rich was planning to get rid of Logan, so they should band with Brawn to take him out instead. AJ then pulled Kaelan and Logan aside to let them know that she was in danger, and that they would have to work with Brawn at tribal council. As Karin looped in Noonan, AJ tried to loop in Ursula and Kristin just as Rich walked out of the ocean, leaving us unsure whether they were down to get rid of him more than Ursula’s desire for revenge against Noonan.

At tribal council Karin spoke about how confusing things were after the swap, while Paulie suggested tonight actually proved a huge opportunity for someone to make a big move. Logan agreed it could be a simple vote down tribal lines, though simple rarely wins out and as such, everyone should be nervous about a big move. Rich too pretended to not want Logan out, while Noonan suggested they should all just agree to be fun and do something wild. Karin and Rich suggested they kill off old tribal lines, while Ursula agreed that she loved that idea, given two former Brawns are the ones that continued to vote against her.

Rich jumped in to speak about a logical plan and the fun one, while Kristin politely suggested there are many options for everyone. Before Rich straight up suggested he was thinking he could easily be nasty, though. She played it far more kinder, no doubt playing for the Brains while Kaelan suggested trust will definitely be broken. As AJ shared that he hoped that the vote would actually make the tribe stronger, before Noonan added it will make it stronger and they’ll all go back to camp with mutual respect. Logan then told JLP that she believes it is distasteful of him to make them vote tonight, because she doesn’t know enough about the OG Brawn members, listing a litany of facts about them and proving herself kind, but also a threat. Which made Noonan feel touched and nervous, while Rich was just ready to kick the second act into high gear. With that, the tribe voted and like last episode, Rich’s pride came before a fall, this time his own, as the tribe banded together to take him out instead.

As he arrived at Loser Lodge, I gave him a high five and thanked him for being entertaining. And like Logan, I chose kindness, because I didn’t explain that the entertainment was due to his terrible gameplay and flameout via arrogance. Though that is probably because I kept it super brief, handed him a Rich Houzos, Lemon and Mint and sent him on his way.

Ouzo is something that I always heard horror stories about from my parents and their own bad experiences. But when drunk as an adult, rather than a teen, and mixed with some fresh lemon and mint, it slaps.

Enjoy!

Rich Houzos, Lemon and Mint
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
75ml ouzo
30ml fresh lemon juice
3 mint leaves
ice

Method
Combine the ouzo, lemon juice and syrup in a jug, and stir to combine, before adding the mint and bruising with a wooden spoon to release the oils.

Fill an old fashioned glass with ice and pour the cocktail over, before downing, like an iconic flameout.


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Buffally Chicks in Blankettle

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Party Food, Snack, Tapas, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor AJ became public enemy number one at the Brains after his failed attempt at getting rid of Logan. Unlike the poker players that came before him, however, he didn’t lay down and die. Instead, he went to Rich to let him know that Logan was actually out for him, inspiring him to take charge and lead a rival, all male alliance. All that set up was for nothing – yet – as the Brawns went on a losing streak, in no small part thanks to the golden foot of pole dancing king Myles. Knowing he was in danger, Nash pretended to find an idol right in front of Paulie in the hopes of scaring up a split vote he could take advantage of. Sadly for him, his social game wasn’t as on point as he thought, leasing to the tribe calling his bluff, sending him home and freeing us of the other, obnoxious camera hog.

The next day the Brawn tribe were as gloriously harmonious as the Brains were after booting Kent. Everyone was well slept and vibing by the fire, and even people that weren’t getting along previously, were getting along and living their best lives. Not everything was roses though, specifically Ben, who admitted that he stank. And Ursula was super salty to have had her name written down a second time. She and Noonan caught up to clear the air, with Noonan assuring her that she doesn’t intend to vote for her again and that she was only copping votes because of Nash. But trust and believe Ursula was not convinced, and she still intended to come for her at the first available opportunity.

We checked in on the Brains where we finally heard from Zara as the tribe were once again fireless and hungry. Because the boys miscalculated their rations. As Ally threatened to kill them all with the machete, we learnt that Zara is a luxe queen and ugh, I knew I loved her for a reason. The second one being that she hates Rich. She caught up with Karin to talk it out, realising that Laura and Logan were protecting him and as such, suggested that if they don’t get on board at the next tribal council, the Coven is over. AJ meanwhile was feeling great about his place in the tribe despite his faux pas, and was now going to lay low and let Ally bury herself given she has such a big mouth. While he was sulking by the ocean, Ally complained about him ignoring her, while Zara explained that he is clearly annoyed that she threw him under the bus. Despite briefly considering apologising to him, she started to berate him for being immature and told him she wanted to remember him more fondly once he was gone, so he should just get in line and smile. He then laughed to us about the fact that he actually had a good bond with Myles and Kaelen, and along with the other boys were planning to take a shot at the girls, so he isn’t down and out yet. Nor are the Brains, as they finally built a roaring fire.

Jonathan arrived for the reward challenge where the tribes would jump into a pool of mud, cover themselves in it and carry it down a path to fill a crate. They would then pull said crate to the end of the path before forming mud balls and using them to knock over targets. And given it was for an epic trip to the Survivor spa, everyone had a laser focus. Kalaen and Max got out to an early lead for the Brains, but the Brawns were wearing more clothes and were able to use it as a scoop, dumping in huge load after huge load. Of mud, that is. The Brawn tribe had a hefty lead to start forming and tossing balls, while the Brains desperately tried to close the gap. Sadly nowhere near quickly enough, as PD secured reward for their tribe. And ideally give us a gorgeous Paulie nude scene. Hopefully. Before sending the Brawn tribe away, JLP told them to pick someone to join them and while Logan was literally in tears wanting some glam, they selected Ally to join them given she wanted to give them the snags yesterday.

And just like that, Ally, Logan is coming for you.

Brawn + Ally arrived at the spa, quickly sitting down to their meal and pouring champagne, as Ally thanked them for their kindness and got to know them. Kristin casually tried to fish for intel before Ally went all in oversharing. She started with shading Myles and Kent, before straight up telling literally the tribe who to watch out for and outlining every single alliance and Ally, you’re an absolute moron. Goodbye, I can’t wait for Logan to take her revenge. Oh and we didn’t even get Paulie naked because of her stupidity, so boo.

Back with the Brains, the tribe were far more demure as they washed off in the ocean, assuring themselves that Ally is smart enough to keep her mouth shut and be sensible. And ugh, I wish. AJ meanwhile was growing more and more nervous that Rich and Max’s chaotic energy will blow up his game, and as such, went hunting for an idol. Wanting to protect themselves, Zara, Logan and Karin joined him on the hunt in the hope that they would find it first. Sadly for them, they were not quick enough as he snatched it out from under them and gave him the hope he was looking for.

The tribes reunited with JLP for the immunity challenge where they would race to build a fire on a see saw while the rest of the tribe would build a cube to release a key, use the key to unlock a net and then use that to transport coconuts to a platform which they would use to toss them into a bucket to weigh down the see saw and light a flag with the fire. Well, not until after the Brawn tribe heavily implied Ally had the loosest of loose lips. After throwing her under the bus, the Brains whipped through the puzzle and got out to a massive lead, releasing their nut sack – JLP’s words – and lining up their coconuts, as Laura and Ally struggled to make fire. While Brawn’s fire was roaring, the tribe managed to close the gap and started tossing their nuts. While Ally and Laura continued to not even get a spark. Meaning Brawn easily took out victory and sent Brains back to tribal council.

Back at camp the boys were all well and truly pissed with Ally and Laura for choking, quickly locking in a plan to take a strike at one of the girls before the alliance could actually jag the numbers. Specifically they would blindside Ally for her presumed loose lips, bossing everyone around and most annoyingly, screwing up the challenge. Zara and Karin, meanwhile, were hyper focused on getting rid of Rich. The challenge being making sure all the girls were onboard with the plan. Laura continued to defend Rich which frustrated Zara and Karin, while Laura told them they were being illogical and emotional, rather than listening to them. Zara calmly explained why they’re so focused on him and that they’re sick of always talking about Rich, but not actually being allowed to take a shot because of Laura always getting her way. With Logan and Laura still wanting to save Rich, our good witch approached him to let him know that he was the girls’ target. Rich wisely pointed out the boys were voting for Ally and as such, she could easily just join them to get rid of her with them.

Zara and Karin checked in to make sure Ally was actually still wanting to get rid of Rich. They all agreed it was likely that Laura will stay with them, despite not being happy about it, so they should hold firm. Ally went to coach AJ once again, lecturing him about the fact he is likely safe but that he will exit soon after. She then told him that one wrong vote would get rid of him, so he should be extra careful tonight. As he laughed to us about the fact that Ally clearly has no idea about her surroundings and how much people want her gone. Zara tried to check in with Laura and Logan, and while Logan was keen to smooth things over, Laura ran off angrily. Sensing the alliance may not have much life, Zara and Karin went to find new allies, with Zara quickly pulling in Myles to take out Rich and form a meaningful, collaborative alliance.

Myles then went to AJ to pull him over to their side, as AJ shared that he was a little worried about Zara and Karin being too stubborn. Which feels like a false narrative from Laura, but whatever. Thankfully his trust in Myles proved stronger than his desire to get rid of Ally, so he locked in with them. Karin once again tried to make sure Laura was on board with them, who assured them she was. Zara and Ally then joined them with the latter thinking she made a killer move on the previous reward, telling everyone she assured the Brawns they could trust the girls. And that all of their alliances were locked and loaded, particularly the all girls one, which again is stupid. As is telling the girls about said stupidity.

At tribal council AJ spoke about how tribal council will finally draw a line in the sand for the tribe, given the last votes were pretty easy. Ally said that all the alliances were pretty solid, though the votes should confirm them, yes. Zara spoke about the challenge of needing to have alliances that operate as a democracy, with Logan agreeing that the vote should be pretty straightforward whether she is happy about it or not. Rich admitted he was nervous, given this vote is far less obvious than the last ones. But trust, he isn’t keen on going. Laura meanwhile shared this is one of the most pivotal votes, to her. AJ referenced his alliance, talking about wanting to find loyal people to go to the end with. A bomb squad if you will. This spooked the girls, who seemed to clock the name, with Ally obviously very vocal about being concerned about AJ.

JLP promptly announced that we’re in for a very different tribal council tonight and that instead of voting someone out of the game, they would be voting someone out of the tribe and over to Brawn. With a little scroll they would only be able to read after they left. AJ immediately volunteered to switch tribes, which Laura shut down just as quickly. Ally too was keen to go, no doubt because she told them everything about the tribe and she believed she would be in charge. She then had the nerve to say that AJ runs his mouth too much, and lol. AJ said he wanted to go because it is likely a clue to an idol and as such, he can use it to survive another night. Rich too offered himself up, leading to the girls having a group meeting to chat through the merits. After landing on Rich, they joined Rich and the boys who all locked in the vote as Ally tactlessly told AJ majority will rule and he has no say. With that the tribe voted and as expected Rich was sent packing with a Brawn buff in one hand, and the scroll in the other. As soon as the tribe exited tribal council, he pulled open the scroll where he learnt he had won safety without power for two people at the next tribal council. No matter which tribe goes to tribal council.

We checked in with the new Brawn tribe the next day where Rich was vibing, thrilled to be living in a superior camp, complete with a fire. He reassured them that he is definitely part of the tribe and won’t be going back Kelli style. And while everyone was thrilled to have a new person to hang out with, trust and believe Noonan was happy to get rid of him at the first opportunity. If he doesn’t get sent back to Brains before the next tribal council, that is. Unaware that if she pulls a Nash, he will be able to save himself and another person. Worried that his job may be to sabotage them at the next immunity challenge, they decided it was smartest to sit him out of the next immunity challenge, just to be safe.

We checked in with the Brains tribe where everyone was living for the new zen mood. Well, everyone but Karin, who was annoyed that Rich managed to survive, despite her wanting him gone, given he was the cause of division within the coven. She realised that Laura and Logan were too emotional and reactionary for her liking, so got to work locking in a more zen alliance. She and Zara caught up with Myles, who floated the idea of them working together with him and AJ for more than just taking out Ally. With the girls catching up privately to lock it all in as their main alliance. Laura and Logan meanwhile caught up to lament their losses at tribal council, though felt they played it all perfectly and that Zara didn’t. And as such, they wanted to target her. Even though they literally got their way every tribal council until the Rich vote. Logan and Laura, on the other hand, were planning to work with Max and Kaelan to take control. Logan approached Max with the idea, who was obviously thrilled, as they quickly locked in the vote against AJ. And while it looks like we’re locked in 4-4, Kaelan appears to spend more time with AJ and Myles, so it feels like we’re being sold more of an even playing field than there actually is, no?

JLP returned for the latest reward challenge where the tribes would face off in a game of Sumo at Sea. With the victors getting a little interior design pack from Ikea, including cushions and rugs. First to face off were Myles and Zaddy Paulie, with my king making quick work of our pole dancing king. Noonan and Ally were up next, with Noonan too, making quick work of the Brain. Ursula and Karin, meanwhile, gave us a legit battle as neither woman was willing to give an inch. While locked in battle for 20 minutes, Karin told Ursula to not trust Rich under any circumstances and ugh, I love it. Sadly, it ended in a draw for both of them and while it was iconic, the challenge continued. This time, in duos to speed things up. Max and Kaelan then faced off against Rich and PD, with the Brawns snagging victory after Max dropped almost instantly.

We followed the victors back to camp where Kristin rejoiced to have a little comfort in her life. They then discovered tea, coffee and biscuits, and letters from home hidden at the base of their haul. Everyone poured a drink before reading their letters one at a time, as the tribe descended into tears. None more than Paulie, who’s dad literally called him a hero for surviving the bullying he went through at school and wrote that he is so proud of him for not just overcoming but thriving. We then learnt a little more about Zaddy Paulie and ugh, I love him so damn much. Give him the win right now, you cowards!

Over at the Brains tribe, the new alliances were busy locking things in as Zara requested Myles come up with a name ASAP today. Well, after locking in his closest ally AJ, that is. AJ thankfully was keen to work with the girls, given they give him good vibes. Not wanting to rest on his laurels, Myles decided he would even potentially loop in the other girls to get rid of Max too. Worst case, though, they needed to get Kaelan on board and while he doesn’t talk much strategy, Myles was confident he would work with him, given he warned him that Kent was out to get him. Kaelan and Myles caught up at the well, thrilled to work with Karin and Zara to get rid of Max. Sadly for them, Ally, ugh, was wandering around the jungle and overheard the conversation, so immediately took the information back to Max. Who was, in a word, livid. While Max gloated to us about having an army behind him, before straight up telling Myles he is watching him.

My love JLP returned for the latest immunity challenge where the tribes would race to swim out and collect a wooden grid before climbing up a slide to retrieve puzzle pieces and then solve the aforementioned puzzle. After Rich was forced to the sit out bench, the tribes were whisked out to the ocean to commence their swim, with the Brawns getting out to the tiniest of leads before Brains overtook them at the shore. After setting up their grids, the Brawns took back the lead as Rich tried to whisper to his bestie Max to throw the challenge as he has a massive advantage for him to use. Whether the Brains intended to throw it or not, the Brawn tribe continued to pull ahead giving Noonan and Morgan a decent advantage at the puzzle. As Myles and Logan diligently worked to close the gap, Rich kept muttering bomb squad to Max despite him having nothing to do with the success or otherwise of the challenge. Both tribes got stuck until Logan thought she had it, only to be wrong. Thankfully after Noonan figured it out, Brains almost snatched the win out from under them, until Myles dropped a tile and sent them back to tribal council.

Before returning to camp, Rich passed off the advantage to Max, giving him the express instruction to save Logan. And then muttered bomb squad multiple more times for dramatic effect. On the way back to camp, AJ whispered to Karin that he saw Rich hand over an advantage, while Ally too was terrified, given she heard him telling Max to continue their work. Which she took to mean the boys’ alliance, not his one with Logan and Laura.

Back at camp things got pretty chaotic pretty quickly, as Max summound everyone to tell them about the advantage, given everyone saw it go down anyway. He then went full Ally, sharing that Rich told him to use it to secure the alliance of boys, but he has a bigger issue he wants to deal with by taking out Myles. And to make sure he gets it done, he is going to exit tribal council with AJ, which is literally the worst decision he could make as then he can’t even vote him out. It also pissed off Logan, who thought they were aligned and the plan was to get rid of AJ, so making him immune means he has crossed her. AJ, Karin, Zara and Myles got together to figure a way out of the mess, with the girls happy to get rid of Ally given she is immovable but also runs her mouth at the drop of a hat. Plus, they think Kaelan will be thrilled to get rid of any woman, so it will be easy to get him on board.

Oh and Myles named themselves the graduates, because they’re above the high school drama. But Zara pointed out they also have the most degrees, so it makes sense for multiple reasons. After Myles pulled Kaelan into the alliance, he then caught up with Max, Logan and Laura where Max became the second person to pitch an Ally blindside to him in as many minutes. And while he thought their alliance was solid once more, the girls were pissed about the thought of getting rid of Ally. Instead, Laura now wanted to take out Zara. Presumably for reasons other than the fact Zara shops at Hermes and she is a witch. Which is now a read, given she is coming for Zara, when I would traditionally stan a witch on Survivor.

Laura’s logic was that Zara is too emotional and not logical, even though it seems like she is having quite the emotional response. Max caught up with the girls, with him completely fine with Zara going home. And to get it done, he was now planning to send Karin and Myles away from tribal council. Laura floated the plan with Kaelan and while he pretended to be onboard with the plan, he admitted to us that he is sick of being thought of as someone else’s number and as such, he was ready to make the decision that was best for him. Zara and Karin meanwhile realised something was up and that the girls were well and truly ready to put an end to the coven. So worried about Max and the advantage ruining their plans. Logan too knew Max was chaotic and his behaviour could screw things up for lots of people, and as such, vowed to just vote for whoever he wants at tribal council. As she begged him to just make a decision and stick with it, essentially. While he was just overjoyed to be the centre of attention.

At tribal council Laura spoke about the tribe being far more relaxed with Rich gone, despite being on edge. Logan admitted that Rich still looms large over the tribe given he handed Max an advantage. Very loudly, in front of everyone, AJ confirmed. Max then continued to showboat talking about how powerful he is and that he is looking forward to having some fun. He then handed the scroll over to JLP immediately with Zara talking about the fact they have plans for tribal council, but they need to see what Max actually does with the advantage before they know what they can actually pull off. Ally was confident Max would do what is best for the tribe – ugh – while Logan was worried that he would make a decision for the drama, rather than strategy and that frankly, she wished it was up to her instead.

Max then continued to be infuriating, talking about being at war with Myles because he is a snickering jungle rat. And that he would love to use the advantage to get his revenge (Side note, while calling Myles a rat seems super problematic, Myles has assured us on social that Max asked him permission before calling him any names). While Myles reiterated that the one thing about rats is that they survive. Zara suggested that Max seems to be playing emotionally, rather than strategically. He then got smarmy, talking about thinking he has something special tonight and as such, he wants to look after his alliance. While Karin told him to stop playing schoolyard games and send the damn people away.

Finally he was forced to play his advantage, sending Laura and Karin out of tribal council which is a combination that literally shocked each and every person. None more so than Logan, who was completely pissed at Max and damn, Max, you’re in danger, girl. Logan and Zara then appeared to reconnect, as Max told all the girls to vote for Myles. While Max gloated about being super confident he knows exactly what is going to happen and he is thrilled to be safe, despite being left at tribal council. With that the tribe voted and while Max was safe, he didn’t get his way, as he and Ally were gagged to see her booted from the game.

As soon as Ally arrived at Loser Lodge, she pulled me aside to let me know about the state of every relationship back at camp. In addition, she lectured me on how badly AJ had been playing that game. And while I wanted to scream, I had to admire her consistency, so pulled her in for a hug, thanked her for the comedy and celebrated her short run with a batch of Buffally Chicks in Blankettle.

Pigs in Blankets and buffalo chicken are two of my favourite things, so it is an absolute no brainer to combine them. The comfort of the sausages and flaky pastry are perfectly offset with the little bit of zing from the hot sauce. And frankly, it is perfection.

Enjoy!

Buffally Chicks in Blankettle
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 sheets puff pastry, defrosted
¼ cup Frank’s RedHot, plus extra for serving
½ tsp garlic powder
½ tsp onion powder
½ tsp paprika
16 chicken chipolatas
2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
Blue Cheese Dressing, to serve

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Cut each sheet of pastry into squares, and then the squares in triangles. Like the superior primary school sandwich cut. Brush pastry with half the hot sauce and sprinkle with the garlic and onion powders, and the paprika.

Working one at a time, wrap the sausages in a triangle of pastry and transfer to a lined baking sheet, seam side down. Combine the melted butter with the remaining hot sauce and brush over the pastries.

Pop them in the oven to bake for 20 minutes, or until golden and crisp. Serve immediately drizzled with extra hot sauce and a vat of blue cheese dressing. Before devouring greedily, but also in a way that felt like you were lecturing someone.


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Nash Brown Sando

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Breakfast, Main, Sandwich, Street Food, TV, TV Recap


Previously on Australian Survivor two new tribes of Brains and Brawns were dropped in the islands of Samoa to be put to the ultimate test. This time, starting the game with a roaring fire each, though no flint. And given that was being highlighted in the episode 4 recap, one of them is going out tonight, right? After losing the first immunity challenge, the Brawns bounced back and won two in a row. Sadly for them, they did have a loss as Zen went out after breaking a finger in a challenge. Nash found an idol in the opening minutes, though given how badly he flopped the game, he immediately had to play it to stay alive. After winning the reward, Paulie found the newly hidden one – thank f – and tried to keep it secret from his ally Noonan. Over at Brains, after losing the third immunity AJ tried to take out Logan while everyone was distracted by the Kent and Myles feud. Despite his best attempts, his plan failed though was successful in making her well and truly pissed, despite Kent going home.

We checked in with Zaddy Paulie and the Brawn tribe, where Noonan was desperately trying to help Paulie find the idol, unaware that my king already had it stuffed down his pants. And while he felt bad to have kept the information from her, he didn’t feel bad enough to tell her. Being an icon, he then began to speculate that Nash had found it before he got the chance. He shouldn’t feel too bad though, as she assured us that if she got to the idol first, there is no way in hell she would tell Paulie about it. Which is just bad allyship, right? I mean, on mardi gras week?!

Over at the Brains everyone was thrilled to be Kent free, watching the planes fly overheard, grateful that he is likely on one of them, departing the island. Sadly for them, with Kent not around to tend the fire at night, theirs went out – as predicted – which left them all tired and starving. Instead of dwelling on that, Logan turned her attention towards the firing rage within, which was a plan to get revenge on AJ for trying to get rid of her. Because cute and fun people shouldn’t be punished for being cute and fun. Thankfully AJ is as smart as he is cute, realising he tanked his gang and as such, needed to make another move to save it. We then got a cute flashback of AJ catching up with Kaelan and Rich after tribal council, planting seeds that Logan and Laura were both coming for him. Rich started to absolutely spiral and as such, he decided he needed to get rid of Logan ASAP.

Back at Brawn the tribe made a clock out of Zen’s old shoes while Nash completely failed at the basic task of sitting (let’s not talk about it being in a hammock, which is tough). Despite losing his ally Zen, he was confident the rest of his alliance – Ursula, PD and Kristin – were still loyal, so he just needed to bamboozle one more person. After seeing Jesse was regalling the tribe with a tribute rap to Zen, and clearly loving his energy, he realised he had to go a different route. Specifically, emotional blackmail. He broke down by the shore, leading to sweet, sexy Paulie coming down to comfort him and hot damn, Paulie. Could you please stop? My basement is flooded.

My love JLP returned for the reward challenge where everyone would be paired up to balance on narrow pegs which got progressively narrower over time. With the tribe to have the last pair standing winning a good, old-fashioned sausage sizzle. Or as I prefer to call it, a sausage fest. That being said these challenges are never that fun to recap, so let’s just go through everyone that dropped. Nash, obviously, was first to go after 30 seconds, taking Noonan with him. Ben and PD joined them on the Brawn bench before everyone else moved to narrower pegs at the ten minute mark. That cost Rich and AJ their place, as the rest of the Brains told them to get intel on the bench. Kaelan and Max dropped, followed by Laura and Karin, giving Brawn the upper hand. At 20 minutes, Ally and Myles exited, leaving Logan and Zara to carry the hopes of the tribe on their shoulders as they moved to the narrowest pegs. Ursula dropped out of nowhere, followed by Paulie and Jesse leaving the icons to battle the equally iconic Kate and Morgan at Brawn. Who eventually gave up, giving Logan and Zara the hero moment they deserve.

Knowing they were desperate, JLP decided to get spicy and give them a choice – either take the sausage sizzle, or take a flint to restart their fire and give the sausage sizzle to their rivals. Feeding them and potentially pushing them to victory at the next immunity challenge. Ally advocated for them to play it smart and take the flint so they have consistent food for the weeks ahead. Rich, however, cut her off and said he was hungry and wanted a snag, putting it to a vote instead. Which promptly went in the favour of the food.

We followed the Brains back to camp where they were delighted to find a barbecue set up by the shore. Much to Ally’s rage, who still felt they should have taken the flint and struggles to keep her opinions to herself. Ignoring the fact they could have lit a napkin on fire on the barbecue to restart theirs, but whatever (I know production probably banned it). As everyone sat down to smash their feast, Rich realised that the boys and girls were clearly divided and as such, he wanted to formalise something with the rest of the boys. Rich told everyone that Logan is after him and as such, the boys all need to stick together to protect all of their games. When it really feels more like a him problem. Max, Kalaen and Rich pushed really hard for Myles and AJ to join them despite clearly being on the bottom, before christening their alliance with a name – the Bomb Squad.

That night we checked in with the Brawns, where the tribe delighted in having a fire and laughing about the misfortune of their rivals. Nash meanwhile was bored, given nobody was playing the game as hard as him. Apparently. He then shared with us that he had actually thrown the first immunity challenge, which TBH, makes a lot more sense given nobody can be that stupid. He wanted to build trust, however, so decided now was the right time to lock in with his allies, so told PD, Kristin and Ursula the truth. Much to the absolute rage of PD, who wasn’t sure whether Nash was just dumb and trying to save face. But either way, if this gets out to anyone else, Nash, you in danger, girl. Particularly since Ursula was close to becoming his collateral damage already.

We arrived at the next immunity challenge where the tribes competed in some ball sports, another favourite activity of mine. In groups, two members of each tribe would face off to collect a ball before passing it to someone on a platform, who would kick it at the goal which was guarded by another person.

First up, Ben, Jesse, Nash and PD faced off against Myles, Kaelan, Nash and Logan. And while Brawn collected the ball first, PD kicked it at the wrong goal, which allowed the Brains to pass it over to Myles. And despite his own tribe thinking he was a bad choice for the kicker, he promptly scored the first point. Morgan, Ursula, Noonan and Paulie faced off against Rich, Zara, Karin and Ally, with Noonan tying things up on her second kick. We got a rematch of the first round, with Rich trading places with Logan, with Myles proving himself a beast, as her quickly scored his second point of the challenge. Like the pole dancer king that he is. Myles and Rich stayed in their places as Laura and Karin faced off against Morgan and Ursula in the field, with Myles literally securing his hat trick and pushing the Brains further in front. In the fifth round, the Brains left Myles where he was which proved sensible as he kicked his fourth goal and handed Brains immunity.

Again, icon.

Back at camp Brawn lamented their loss, while Noonan led everyone in praising Myles as a star athlete. She then swiftly turned her attention towards getting rid of her nemesis Nash, pulling aside Morgan and Kate to make sure they weren’t still locked in with Nash after turning on Candy at the first tribal council. As the girls and Paulie locked in their plans, Ursula realised that being aligned with Nash was a bad idea and as such, she joined them to assure them she is open to anything. This pissed off Morgan, calling her out for only coming to them when she is in trouble, which is fair, while Paulie tried to calm them all down. Realising she needed to do something major, she told them that Nash threw the first challenge, reminding them that she clocked it from the start and they need him out ASAP. Which was all it took to assure them she was in with them. Nervous about him pulling off another miracle, Noonan didn’t want to split the vote, telling Paulie to go get his idol to keep them all safe.

To his credit, Nash wasn’t overly worried about going home, assuming he and his allies would be able to pull off another miracle. He approached Jesse and Ben to try and convince them that without Zen, he has no buddies left in the game and as such, wants to align with some fun friends. Like, say, them. He then took Jesse to talk to Ursula and Kristin, with Ursula slipping and telling Jesse that Nash threw the challenge. To distract, Nash then decided to target Morgan, for reasons, pulling Paulie aside and praying for a miracle.

After praying by the ocean, Nash got to work idol hunting and fuck me dead, he found another one. Or at least pretended that he did. He read a note and ran away from Paulie, who asked him to show him the idol. Nash told him there was no need to, as he’ll see it later that night. And while nobody wanted to believe he had found another one, they were also terrified about not splitting the vote and as such locked in another couple of votes on Ursula. Everyone then got to work tailing Nash for the rest of the afternoon, while he locked in his alliance with Kristin before trying to convince Paulie or Noonan to join him instead and flip on Morgan. Though given his pitch was that he was playing the best social game and that they needed him if they’re going to survive the merge, me thinks it won’t work. Because if your social game was good, you wouldn’t have been a target from day one. He then took that pitch to Jesse, telling him he can’t confirm whether he has an idol as they aren’t connected. But if he votes out Morgan with him, he will take him to the end. Which, to reiterate, is never happening as Nash will not last the week without a string of increasingly wild miracles.

At tribal council Noonan spoke about how the short break from tribal council had helped them come together, with Paulie agreeing that they have all come together and become a family. Ursula meanwhile realised she was well and truly on the bottom, all because she was aligned with Nash. Though she did caution everyone that anything can happen at tribal council. PD agreed that being aligned with Nash isn’t helpful before Kate reiterated she doesn’t hate Nash, just doesn’t think he is playing the good, honest game he has told them he is playing. Given he threw the first challenge. Nash tried to explain it away as wanting to figure out who he could and couldn’t trust. Which annoyed the hell out of Noonan, who pointed out he put his alliance in danger in the process as Ursula almost went home. Kate and Morgan joined the fray, with the latter cussing him out for being a hypocrite because he would be irate if she threw sandbags at his head, rather than at the discs. Which fair. Violent, but fair. 

Noonan admitted she is now terrified of ever touching a puzzle, given he completely screwed her over by making her look like a flop. While he just thought they should all move on. Paulie felt Nash threw a challenge way too soon, while Nash tried to make a play for their hearts talking about how he loves them. Before doubling down on his potential idol, with Paulie just asking him to flop it out and show them what they’re working with. Or shut up. Ursula spoke about being nervous given the vote will be split between her and him, with Nash trying one last mind game, suggesting they load the votes on him and just see how things play out. While Jesse was nervous about Nash maybe, just maybe, actually having a trick up his sleeve. With that the tribe voted and despite Nash’s assurances that he had an idol, he didn’t – despite taking a theatrically timed sip of water to scare them. And thankfully, the Brawns stuck to their guns and finally sent him out the door.

By the time Nash arrived at Loser Lodge, I had softened slightly. Do I think he played a terrible game and shouldn’t have tried to copy his friend’s winning path last year? Yes. But the man also gave us some drama, and an iconic flameout is always a delicious thing to watch. As such, I pulled him in for a massive hug and after whispering to never copy the strategy of the winner everyone watched before departing – if we learnt anything from Abby in All Stars, it is that you target the same type of player – thanked him for giving us a show, however brief it ended up being. Before toasting his drama with a gloriously soothing Nash Brown Sando.

If there is one thing I’m going to do, it is find a way to sneak a potato into a meal it isn’t traditionally. And since I have a bit of a thing for a hashie-b, using it to form a breakfast sandwich was frankly a no-brainer.

Enjoy!

Nash Brown Sando
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
4 Slash Browns
4-6 bacon rashers
4 eggs
2 slices American cheese
¼ cup Hollandaise Taylor

Method
Cook the Slash Browns and Hollandaise Taylor per their respective recipes.

Fry up the bacon until nice and crisp, before transferring to a plate lined with a paper towel to drain. Crack the eggs into the fatty pan and fry to your liking.

To assemble, pop a hash brown on a plate followed by some bacon, an egg, the cheese, another egg and some bacon. Drizzle with the hollandaise, close the sando with a hashie and devour, like an icon.


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