Baking

Brookirby Bentley

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Baking, Dessert, Snack, Survivor: Australia V The World, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the tribes finally merged, with lines drawn neatly down the middle with five a piece. They celebrated the milestone with a classic Survivor auction, where Luke won the power to send someone back to camp before it even truly began. And despite Parvati giving him ample opportunities to change his mind and not make an enemy of her, she was the unlucky individual. Or as she thought, as she arrived at camp to find a large jar of cookies. And when she accidentally smashed them while trying to bury them, was even more delighted to find a Steal a Vote advantage. Despite all that excitement, the immunity challenge was cancelled due to a wild lightning storm, so the last four standing drew rocks with Tommi the lucky one to ‘win’ the first individual immunity. Back at camp Luke desperately tried to keep the Aussies together, though Kirby had other ideas, flipping to Parvati and Cirie with Shonee, and blindsiding her former ride or die Sarah in the process. Officially making her the Queen of the Jury, as she – and the audience, TBH – deserves.

Back at camp Luke quickly congratulated everyone on the spicy little blindside, despite clearly being pissed about the turn of events. Kirby pulled him aside to tell him that she had actually told him she threw out Sarah’s name, so he shouldn’t be shocked or upset, which only made him angrier. Leading he and Janine to catch up over their mutual rage, confirming the Aussie alliance is dead and that they will work with whoever it takes to carry the two of them to the end.

The tribe awoke the next day to more rain, as Kirby and Parvati flirted and couple-dressed. Kirby told us that she is all in on her alliance with Parvati, as she desperately wants to go to the end with the best of the best. The duo then caught up in the jungle with both of them playfully talking about not being sure if the other trusts them, though Kirby continued to assure her that  she’d love to go to the end with her and Cirie. Which was music to Parvati’s ears, as she just wanted to get to the end, given it is so unlikely as the biggest target remaining. Parvati then caught up with Lisa, whispering about not wanting to be seen talking to each other in front of Luke and Janine as the duo were way too shifty. While pissed off Lisa, as she caught up with Kass about feeling like they have been cast aside for Shonee and Kirby.

Janine meanwhile was pissed about Kirby putting all the Aussies on the bottom, well her and Luke at least, so they split up to find a crack in the World tribe. First Janine got to work on Parvati, assuring her that she would love to work with her and Cirie, before casually digging for intel on Kass and pretending that Kass had been laying the groundwork to pull off a Parvati blindside. And whether it is true or not, the fact that Janine is orchestrating it makes me so happy. Particularly since George was saying she didn’t deserve to be here, when she does. She is an ICON.

The tribe met up with Jonthan for the latest immunity challenge where they would each have to stand on a box and hold up two weighted beams with the last person standing jagging individual immunity. And a mystery scroll. Everyone tried to take their places, with Shonee and Lisa struggling to even get started given they were so heavy. Surprisingly they lasted a minute, which is not something Cirie can say as she became the first to drop. She was followed by Janine and Lisa, as Shonee continued to struggle before finally dropping at the two minute mark. Luke was squirming and moaning for ages, though managed to hold on for five minutes, dropping just after Tommi. Kirby, Kass and Parvati continued to fight, with the latter two literally just standing like statues. While Lisa sweetly praised Parvati for being so strong. After ten minutes Kirby dropped, leaving the battle of the challenge beasts with Kass super chill, while Parvati squirmed back and forth before dropping at 15 minutes, handing Kass immunity. And the scroll, which JLP told her she wasn’t allowed to read until tomorrow morning.

Back at camp everyone praised Kass for being so strong, questioning where she has trained to become such a beast. Parvati meanwhile was devastated, worried about Kass being immune and potentially coming for her. Thankfully she pulled her aside, telling her that she is so nervous to not be immune because she has heard that Kass had been throwing her name around. After Kass assured her it was all a lie, they agreed to stay World strong. Parv immediately caught up with Kirby, with the latter pledging her undying loyalty and assuring her that she hasn’t heard anything. And will protect her, promising to never write each other’s name down. They then locked in a plan to get rid of Lisa and Tommi, before Kirby approached Luke and Janine to loop them in. Which they were obviously keen on.

Shonee meanwhile was thrilled to have given the public what they wanted by voting with Parvati last tribal council, though could see that Kirby’s fan girling over Parv was getting a bit much. As such, she caught up with Luke and agreed that she would be thrilled to work together to get rid of Cirie instead. After giggling about having a little bit of fun, Luke pulled Lisa and Kass aside to see if they would be interested in working with them. Skillfully telling them he would happily get rid of Kirby or Cirie, whoever they preferred. Janine meanwhile was disappointed that Kass was now immune after all of her maneuvering, so caught up with Cirie and Kirby to lock in a Lisa vote instead. Before Kirby disappeared and the duo quickly started talking shit about her, before agreeing that it would make more sense to get rid of her instead. Though Cirie admitted she was nervous about missing the shot, because Kirby would clearly target them instead if she survives. 

Before she admitted to us that she is frankly just terrified of all of the Aussies as they play hard.

Lisa and Kass caught up with Cirie, with the latter telling them about Janine’s plans, while Kass told her that Shonee and Luke were throwing out her name. Cirie then went to loop in Parvati, assuring her that she trusts Janine wholeheartedly, particularly since Kirby has already voted out her number one in Sarah. While Parvati was concerned about whether she could trust Kass moving forward. And the fact she promised not to vote Kirby out. Kass then caught up with Parvati, throwing out Kirby as an option and just as Parvati looked to be locking in the plan, Kirby arrived and pulled her aside. She then got a little paranoid about Parv turning on her, before confirming she won’t come for her. Though admitted to us that she feels like she is going to betray one of Kirby or Cirie, and that makes her nervous. And when Kirby mentioned that she has trust issues after Feras went back on his promise to play his idol for her, it gave Parvati the idea to do the same, as she would then have a very grateful and loyal ally in her corner.

At tribal council Lisa spoke about how chaotic it was on the beach that afternoon, with Cirie agreeing that she is even finding things moving way too fast and this is her fifth rodeo. Luke then explained everything that happened at the last tribal council, outing Kirby for blowing up the Aussie alliance and for being the reason that Sarah is on the jury. To her credit, Kirby backed her move and said you have to make a move when you can, more importantly, before the other person does, and she knew Sarah would strike eventually. With Janine agreeing that it did make sense. Cirie meanwhile wasn’t sure whether you can ever trust that conversations are true in the game, given people could be trying to play you. While Lisa joked that she tries not to lie, just flim flam. While Kass admitted she definitely cannot lie in English.

As talk went back to Kirby turning on her ride or die, she joked everyone should stop talking about it. She admitted she was hopeful that Sarah could still reward a good move if she made it to the end, because she could have easily made it against Kirby first. Cirie meanwhile was hoping to get some clarity after the vote, while Kirby was committed to doing what she said to her allies back at camp, while Parvati was just wanting to solidify her trust with someone and, ideally, clear a path to the end. With that the tribe voted and after a couple landed on Cirie and Lisa, Janine banded with the World tribe – Parvati included – to send Kirby out of the game to join her former ride or die on the jury.

To say that Kirby was emotional to be voted out, particularly by Parvatai, was an understatement. But to her credit, she took it in her stride and knew that she was fast becoming one of the biggest targets. And that is in no small part due to the fact that she plays hard, always opts to take the big move and frankly, is deadly. In all meanings of the word. So I pulled her in for a massive hug and tried to wash away the bitterness with a big batch of Brookirby Bentley.

Yeah, yeah – this is kinda, sorta a cheats recipe. But when it is this good, you can’t be made. Simply a brownie dotted with cookie dough, combining the two seems to elevate them to somewhere godly. And oh so delicious.

Enjoy!

Brookirby Bentley
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
3 cups flour
½ tsp kosher salt
125g dark chocolate, roughly chopped
250g unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 ½ cup muscovado sugar
¾ cup raw caster sugar
3 eggs
1 tbsp vanilla extract
2 tsp baking powder
200g milk chocolate chips

Method
Preheat the oven to 160C and 1 cup of flour and the salt into a large bowl and leave aside.

In a double boiler, melt the dark chocolate and half the butter until smooth and glossy. Remove from the heat and stir in half the muscovado sugar and all the caster sugar until combined. One at a time, whisk in two eggs until the mixture comes back together before folding in the flour and salt.

Pour the batter into a lined 25cm square cake tin and leave to rest while you prep the cookie dough.

Place the remaining butter and muscovado sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer and beat until thick and creamy. Add the egg and vanilla and continue to beat for a further minute, or until it just comes together.

Remove from the mixer and fold through the remaining flour and baking powder. Again, when just together, fold through the chocolate chips.

Dot the cookie dough over the brownies, spreading and smooshing to your heart’s desire. Pop into the oven to bake for 20-30 minutes, or until just set in the middle. And by just set, just set. Remove from the oven to cool in the pan for an hour before carving and devouring.


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Coffee and Paulienut Michake

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Baking, Cake, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor things got chaotic. And by a little, a lot. After Myles made a massive play of stealing Kristin’s idol and using it to save Paulie and send home PD instead, Logan was positively irate. Not at Myles, however, but her frequent sparring partner AJ. Myles on the other hand found unwavering loyalty in his newest ally Paulie. When it came to tribal council, Logan tried to target AJ, while the Graduates decided it was time to come back together to take out Logan. Hopefully sending her home with an idol in her pocket, to boot. Karin though had other plans, whispering to Logan to play her idol and while Karin was able to pull the rug out from under the boys, it still resulted in Logan’s bestie Laura going home. As Queen of the Jury.

Back at camp everyone was basically okay with the outcome of tribal council, except for Logan, who was angry to have lost her closest ally and her idol. Like Paulie before her, she was ready to pledge her undying loyalty to Kaz though, and take control. Sadly for them, Kaelan was busy telling AJ and Myles that he overheard Kaz whispering at tribal council and as such, they should not trust her. As such, their plan was now to eliminate some of the girls to weaken Kaz’s game, first being Logan followed by Kate. Sadly for them Kate was right behind them when they were discussing it. Whether she heard it or not.

The next day Paulie’s buff fell into the fire giving him a rough new bankrobber look. As rough as Logan was still feeling, given she had no friends left in the game and felt super hurt. Zara pulled her aside to attempt clearing the air, and when that failed, Zara traded out with Kristin and TBH, Logan kinda just needs to calm down. Particularly given she has now decided that Karin only warned her because it benefitted her game. And while, yeah that is what Kaz wanted, it still saved her. Logan then questioned whether she and Kate are still even friends, while Kaz told us how she plans to now use Logan’s volatile nature to get what she wants.

Like the boys last night, Kaz was hoping to weaken her rival, AJ. And to her, the best way to do that would be to split up Kate and Morgan, given he has clearly befriended them and they will always side with him. She caught up with Myles, who wisely reminded her that he had stuck his neck out over the last few days and as such, he is happy to jump on any plans that pop up but would be leading the charge. So yeah, he will happily join the Kate plan. Not to be outdone, AJ and Kaelan caught up to talk through a potential blindside of their own, with Kaelan happy to let AJ take all the credit for the move – aka get his hands dirty – while he would slide to the end and then make a show of everything he was involved in. And damn, is this the start of a winner’s edit?!

The tribe joined Jonathan in the jungle for the Survivor Auction. Or so they thought. Instead, they would come up one at a time to choose between two covered items. They would then flip a coin for the chance to reveal one, but if they lose, they would be choosing blind. Paulie was hoping for pizza, pasta, booze, biscoff and nutella. Instead, Myles went first and chose a loaf of bread, blind. Paulie went next and after winning his coin toss, happily passed up the opportunity for a phone call home and instead got the covered item which was a pickle. Which, gays love, right? (No, he raged, hard). Kaelan then got a bowl of rice as his blind item, Morgan went blind for a coconut, Karin got a lemon meringue pie blind, before Zara got to reveal a huge steak dinner, which she happily took. Much to Paulie’s simmering rage, as Myles offered him some bread. Kate then revealed a scroll, which she obviously took despite some hesitation. She revealed that she was now able to steal any item of her choosing after it was revealed. Kristin then won her coin flip revealing lasagne and beer, which Kate promptly stole. AJ then revealed pizza and promptly took it before Logan took her place at the table, losing the coin flip but winning the phone call home. She then called her husband and promptly broke down in tears and ugh, she was starting to frustrate me, but now I love her again. Plus, she is a mum who is also mother. And just like that, we’re back in the game Logan.

The next day everyone turned their attention back to the actual game, with AJ hoping to foster his relationship with Morgan and Kate to go to the end. Starting with getting rid of Karin first, given she is clearly out for splitting up one of the pairs. AJ and Kate then caught up with Myles, confident their plan was foolproof and that he definitely won’t turn on them. Sadly for them, Myles knows he can work with Karin, she will always be a threat and kinda sucks at endurance challenges, and as such, he was planning to play along to their face but keep Karin around.

Jonathan made a speedy return for the immunity challenge where they would each balance a ball on the end of a plank using a single leg, with the last person standing winning. Which is obvious, so I don’t really need to say that, right? Anyway, it is pretty boring to write about so let’s just list things out! Kaelan dropped out of nowhere, quickly followed by Zara, Karin and AJ within five minutes. After struggling for what felt like hours, Myles eventually dropped, followed by Paulie and Morgan, the latter out of nowhere. Kristin manoeuvred a miraculous save, while Kate was like a statue, as Kaelan whispered to Karin that this challenge is a bad one to show your cards in, given the final immunity challenge is always endurance. After 35 minutes, Kristin dropped leaving Logan and Kate to battle it out. And given Kate didn’t move within the first 55 minutes, she asked if they could make it harder, so the girls had to put their hands behind their head. They still went at it for another 20 minutes before Logan spotted a spider on her shoe, forcing her to lose her balance and hand Kate immunity.

Back at camp everyone quickly congratulated Kate on her win. Well, everyone except for Karin, given her plan had now fallen apart. Well, kinda, given she was happy to flip it to Morgan instead, and just move on. Karin, Myles and AJ caught up by the shore, quickly locking in a split vote between Morgan, Paulie and Logan, with the plan being for Morgan to go home. Obviously as soon as Karin left, AJ called bullshit on the plan as she was being too kind to him, deciding that it meant someone had told her he was targeting her. Morgan and Paulie joined the duo with Morgan agreeing with Myles that she has no interest in getting rid of Karin yet, and instead locked in a vote to get rid of Logan given she dominated the immunity challenge. At that very moment Karin and Kaelan were assuring Logan that she is safe but warned that she will cop a couple of votes tonight. While Myles pulled Paulie aside to let him know that the way the split was playing out, they could just pick a side and send whoever they wanted home.

Despite being told not to let Zara or Karin know that Logan is the target, AJ pulled Zara and Kristin aside to float just switching up the vote and getting rid of Logan without Myles knowing. Which obviously annoyed the shit out of Zara, given the game has been defined by men playing chaotically moments before tribal council. She and Kristin took the intel back to Karin and Kaelan, who then immediately ran over to AJ to put an end to this new plan. And while Karin was happy to do whatever the boys wanted, Myles was completely enraged because AJ shouldn’t have run his mouth at all. Once again everyone came together to lock in the split vote and once they were all sure of what they were doing, AJ and Karin caught up to discuss the fact that the move is logical, however she wished they just spoke things through, rather than making the choice later and running to them in a panic, which is shady. And while Karin was happy to get rid of Logan, she was sick of playing along and considered doing some whispering at tribal council.

Speaking of which, at tribal council everyone learned that the evening’s proceedings would be a little bit different. Instead of voting someone out of the game, they would be splitting the tribe in two for the next cycle with the winner of the upcoming immunity challenge winning immunity for their entire tribe. Oh and the tribes would be split by Barren and Bounty, with the former having nothing, while everyone else would get their camp, a fully cooked breakfast and an advantage at the next immunity challenge. Oh and Kate would automatically be on the Bounty tribe, as will someone she chooses. The two people with the highest votes tonight, however, would automatically land on the Barren tribe, while the other six would draw rocks.

Everyone was rightly a little nervous about how things would play out, and hopeful that they at least landed on a tribe with numbers. Zara was sick of leaving it to chance, so stood up and asked the girls what they were thinking, with Kristin simply focussed on wanting someone to have a shitty sleep. While at the other end, Myles was fixated on making sure Logan was on the Barren tribe. AJ spoke about it being clear that Kate would pick Morgan, and as they all joked, Karin, Logan and Paulie agreed that AJ needed to be split from them, so decided to load their votes on him. With that, the tribe voted with Paulie immediately landing on the Barren tribe, as the remaining votes tied up between AJ and Logan, before Logan officially joined our zaddy king. The rest drew rocks – after Logan cussed out Kaelan for voting her, despite him explaining he wanted to even up the skills – with Myles, Kaelan and Kristin going to Barren, while Zara, Karin and AJ went to Bounty.

Obviously we followed the temporary Barren tribe back to the empty beach they would call camp, and let’s just say the mood was low. Really low, as the skies opened up and drenched them. Kaelan still had a smile on his face, though, despite the miserable experience. Paulie meanwhile was acting like me, completely heartbroken to be kicked while he was down. As he quietly sulked, Logan was cussing people out again, talking about how she was being kicked while she was down. While Paulie threatened to get revenge on everyone when they’re reunited.

The next day the Bounty tribe were living their best lives, cooking up a full breakfast and getting primed for a win at the immunity challenge, given they will be fed and have an advantage. Karin meanwhile wasn’t all smiles, as she was stuck in a group with three people that she was wanting to get out and as such, if they win, she can’t. And if they lose, she won’t have the numbers. But hey, they have eggs, right? As they speculated how angry Logan would be with them, we checked in with the Barren tribe where they were desperate to try and crack a coconut. While poor Paulie continued to sulk by the ocean. Myles checked in with him and our zaddy was not buying his apology, telling him he doesn’t need to lie because he will still work with him, given he really has no other options.

Back at Bounty, Morgan and Kate were doing their hair in the well water and while they were living the life of luxury, they were still feeling awkward given they were stuck with Karin and Zara, and it is clear they were out to get them at the last tribal council. Morgan was concerned about them losing, so suggested they need to start acting as one to make it through the immunity challenge. Though Kate did suggest that they should use the time to bond with Karin and Zara to float getting rid of Myles when they’re reunited, because he continues to survive. Conveniently, Karin and Zara were keen on that plan and as such when Kate floated it, the foursome became the best of friends. Sadly, Kate also felt the need to loop in AJ to avoid pissing him off. Despite being aware that he could easily leak the intel and ruin it, he was actually on board as he had been feeling that Myles was now actively hurting his game. And if they win, the five of them can control the vote if they just don’t budge at tribal council.

Things were still pretty dire over at Barren as Paulie spoke about having zero reason to trust anyone on his tribe, so felt like a dead man walking. Kaelan, bless, continued to try and keep spirits up, cracking coconuts and trying to trauma bond with the people left. Kristin joined the fun as she and Kaelan practiced each other’s final tribal council speeches before pulling Logan and Paulie aside to float working together at the next vote and sticking together as a foursome. Paulie, hilariously, told Logan he doesn’t trust her and that the other two just do as they’re told, so what incentive does he actually have? Logan reminded him that she is equally screwed and has no other choice, so they should all band together and pitch to the others that they get rid of Myles should they lose. And once they pulled together a fire, Paulie was back to being a happy delight, dancing by the flames and ugh, he is so happy and I have a bad feeling he is about to be kicked again. Because we can’t have nice things!

Jonathan finally returned for the big immunity challenge, the classic, where they would all have to hold onto a pole with the last one hanging on winning. And given the Bounty peeps got an advantage, they would start at the top while Barren were in the middle. After ten minutes everyone was gagged to see Logan become the first to drop, quickly followed by Kaelan, Morgan and Karin, the latter two due to heights. At fifteen minutes the Bounty trio were forced to the narrower footholds, which cost AJ at the 20 minutes mark, quickly followed by Kristin. After Paulie spoke about being motivated to snatch the win, Myles dropped, leaving it all on Paulie’s broad, glorious shoulders. Sadly for him, at the 30 minutes mark he, Kate and Zara transitioned to the narrowest foothold and given the Bounty girls were tiny and he had huge feet, it wasn’t easy. They continued to fight for another twenty minutes and while Kate struggled, Zara managed to talk her through the pain long enough for Paulie to drop.

Back at camp the tribe were thrilled to be reunited, with both groups seemingly happy to get rid of Myles. Karin, however, was feeling a little confused about why AJ was all of a sudden happy to get rid of Myles, and started to panic that Logan was the actual target. Given Logan was better for her game. As such, she rallied the troops to split the votes between Myles and Paulie to guarantee she gets rid of someone she can’t work with. Which was smart, given AJ straight up pulled Myles aside and told him to play his idol, as it would force some separation between the two of them if he voted against him.

Myles obviously wasn’t vibing that, so pulled Logan and Paulie aside to let them know that he has an idol and if one of them is the split vote, they are screwed. So instead, the three of them could work together to vote out Kristin instead. They just need to pull in AJ, despite his entire plan being to distance themselves. Myles tried to talk to AJ thinking he would be on board, with AJ pointing out that he thinks he can work with Kristin, so doesn’t want to ruffle any feathers, before Myles pointed out that everyone thinks they can work with Kristin, which actually means she is a threat. Paulie was super frustrated to be forced into working with Myles, so caught up with Logan and they realised that it was kinda their only option.

Paulie caught up with Kaelan and Kristin, who promptly told him that everyone is loading on Myles with a few votes thrown on him for safety. This led to an absolute meltdown, as he cussed out Karin and then AJ, trying to convince them to vote for literally anyone else. He then tried his luck with Zara and ugh, my zaddy, people are not going to change their vote with this approach. Logan meanwhile was surprisingly zen, and while she didn’t want to work with Myles, she instead went looking for her own idol. And then, for safety, went to Kaelan and Kristin to let them know that Myles has an idol and as such, whoever is the split will go. Oh and that he wants to target Kristin. This led to Kristin pulling Paulie aside to give him one final chance to be honest with her and let her know about the idol, which he tragically did not, instead asking her to vote for Logan. Which seemingly convinced her and Logan to stay targeting Paulie.

At tribal council Zara spoke about how exposed she felt by the split tribal and that is why she was focussed on taking out victory. Despite conversations during the split offering hope, Paulie was concerned that everyone was too happy to stick with their OG allies. While Myles was just wondering if tonight would be the night where someone draws a line. Kaelan joked about checking if he could vote for himself – Lucinda is triggered – so was going with the majority, while Logan was just resigned to seeing her name come out of the urn. While she was immune, Karin still felt the vote had some risk, as AJ agreed that there is a right and wrong person for everyone to send home tonight and as such, they had to find some common ground among themselves.

Kate meanwhile was focussed on keeping her allies happy. Myles was planning to vote with people that he thinks he can work with, and to just put trust in the conversations he has had. This spooked Karin, who checked with AJ that he is 100% voting Myles tonight, which he promptly agreed with. While Logan hoped to not just vote to survive tonight, but to give her options for the next few tribal councils. With that the tribe voted, Myles played his idol for himself before a vote piled up on each Paulie, Kristin and Logan each before the last two came in for Paulie and tragically sent our zaddy home.

As Paulie arrived at the Jury Villa I ran into his arms and immediately broke down into heaving sobs. I then held him for a gull six hours before I was strong enough to pull back, look him in his gorgeous eyes and tell him how much I loved watching him play. Emphasis on watching. While it looked like we would lose Paulie pre-jury for a while there, I told him how grateful I am to be able to see him serving looks on the jury. And that little, accidental reminder was all it took to turn things around. As we toasted his run with cakes. Our own, and a big, fat slice of Coffee and Paulienut Michake.

This mildly tweaked Nigella number is truly perfection. Earthy, sweet and with a nice coffee kick, it melts in your mouth and have you wanting more. And more, and more. Just like Paulie.

Enjoy!

Coffee and Paulienut Michake
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
50g walnuts or walnut meal
225g raw caster sugar
400g unsalted butter, softened
200g flour
2 ½ tbsp instant espresso powder
2½ tsp baking powder
½ tsp bicarb soda
4 eggs
2 tbsp milk
350g icing sugar
walnut halves and chocolate coated coffee beans, to decorate

Method
Preheat the oven to 160C, and line two 20cm sandwich tins with parchment.

Combine the walnuts or meal with the raw caster sugar in a food processor and blitz to form a fine powder. Add 225g of butter, the flour, 1 ½ tablespoons of espresso powder, baking powder, bicarb, eggs and milk, and blitz until smooth. Divide the mixture between the sandwich tins and transfer to the oven to bake for 25 minutes, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean. Remove from the oven and cool in their tins for 10 minutes, before transferring to a wire rack and cooling completely.

While the cakes – swoon – chill, get to work on the buttercream. Blitz the icing sugar in the food processor to get rid of the lumps before adding the remaining butter and the remaining espresso powder dissolved in 1 tablespoon of boiling water, and blitzing until combined.

To assemble, pop one of the cakes on a cake stand and spread half of the icing on the top. Add the next cake, followed by the icing before decorating with walnuts and chocolate coated coffee beans and devouring. Like the zaddy king of the season.


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Peanut Butter and Chocolate Bendt Bylett Cake

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Baking, Cake, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the Brains smashed parmies and pints, while Myles continued to piss off Zara and Laura as he ran his mouth trying to make friends. Despite the ladies assuring him that the OG Brawn will not move for any of them. At the immunity challenge, Laura and Logan caught up and agreed that both of their tribes were clearly trying to throw the challenge, rather than Ben and AJ just being flops when it came to shooting … baskets. Back at camp an injured Noonan was irate that AJ didn’t tell her he was throwing, given she could have saved herself the injury by not participating. She then told Logan that AJ was coming for her and continued the chaos at tribal council where Paulie played his idol, which in turn spooked AJ into playing his – infuriating Karin in the process due to him keeping it from her – before Noonan sadly went home.

We followed them back to camp where AJ congratulated Paulie on his correct idol play before begging Paulie to tell everyone the truth, that he didn’t throw out Logan’s name. Which led to the duo arguing back and forth about semantics, given AJ didn’t directly say to vote her out but he clearly, heavily implied it. Practically via sky writing. Seeing this for what it is, the tribe grew tired of it so all disappeared, as Karin congratulated Paulie on his successful idol play and assured him that she trusts him. This upset AJ, who asked her to stick around and talk to him, while he tried to explain that he kept the hidden immunity idol secret because that is what you do on Survivor. While Karin argued that she just felt that if they were aligned, there wouldn’t be any secrets between them. As Logan and Paulie giggled off to the side, absolutely living for the drama. Mama.

Things were slightly less tense the next day as AJ watched the sunrise before checking in with Karin as she tended the fire. Though given their conversations were all pleasantries, he should still be nervous, despite whatever assurances she may or may not have offered. He then joined Kaelan hunting for idols to thank him for working together and being a constant in the game. Karin, Logan and Kristin caught up to talk about the former’s very emotional reaction to the idol play, before it descended into swapping stories about how AJ is telling them all the same thing. And his robotic attempts at connection are giving them the ick. And ugh, I feel bad for him now! 

Paulie meanwhile was leaning into his strengths, wearing his speedo and looking like a gorgeous King. He then floated to the OG Brains that going to the merge together would be best for everyone, so they should just replace AJ with him instead. As he desperately wants to work with him, and that he is trustworthy and has integrity. Rather than AJ’s shiftiness. And he drastically improves their odds moving forward, given he has friends over on Brains. And while it was a good pitch, Karin knew Paulie was a snake oil salesman. But all of his sales come with a kernel of truth, and he is so damn likeable, that she kind of wants to see where things go anyway.

Over at the Brains Kate and Morgan were hanging by the shore and absolutely vibing, given they have the numbers advantage and don’t have to stress about anything. At all. Except for the fact that Ben and Jesse feel like they’re in control, and they aren’t feeling it, so would prefer to explore new opportunities. Jesse called everyone together for a snack, suggesting that this new tribe should be the new majority alliance rather than the OG Brawns, so they can all share margies at the Jury Villa. And while everyone smiled at the idea of having an alliance with everyone in the tribe, the girls had had it. Officially. They ventured down to the beach to wash off, reading him and his idea for absolute filth. We then got a proper introduction to Kate and ugh, she is an icon, she is the moment. She and Morgan pulled Laura and Zara aside at the well, assuring them that they want to work with them on this tribe and after the merge, despite their alliances on the other side. And just like that, Girls Gone Wild was formed and please, let this damn all women alliance stick as I need it in my life. Like, yesterday.

My love JLP returned for the immunity challenge where the tribes would face off using poles to hold a trough up. Aka the tribal version of When It Rains It Pours. Well, after a little kiki between the tribes about the mass of information that was dropped. Specifically between Zara and AJ, through mime. After Kate and Zara took their place on the sit out benches, the challenge was on. Well, for a brief moment, after Brains dropped out of nowhere in the first five minutes. With the surprise loss, everyone started to question who threw the challenge. With Morgan, in particular, irate. Obviously AJ did remind them it could have been a complete accident, but not a single Brain believed it. Particularly Laura. Though Logan was grateful to learn Zara and Laura felt safe. 

Back at camp things were very, VERY, tense, as Jesse spoke about how the challenge was just so hard, aye. Happy to be done with said new Brains strong alliance and ready to get rid of one of the OGs. Myles took Laura and Zara for a walk to lock something in. And by lock in, went hunting for an idol. Meanwhile, Ben and Jesse and the former Brawns were busy locking in all their votes for Laura. With a single vote on Myles for safety. Morgan and Kate offered to go talk to Laura and Zara, with Jesse telling them it is finally time for them to get some dirt on their hands. Which obviously pissed them off, just before they ran off to talk to them. Meaning the girls promptly re-confirmed the newly formed Girls Gone Wild alliance, with Laura hoping to loop in Myles. And when she learned she was Jesse’s target, she decided to target him instead. Kate and Morgan caught up about how they navigate around PD and Ben feeling betrayed, while Laura and Zara told Myles that he and Laura are the split vote. But if they all vote Jesse, they just may take control.

Jesse and Ben, however, were feeling a little bit spooked about how much the girls were getting along. And as such, thought about looping Myles in and getting the men to load all their votes on Laura. Hilariously talking about potentially talking to Myles IN FRONT OF MYLES. Ben and Jesse were feeling super confident about their new plan, but the more they spoke, the more Myles realised that they have no idea how the game is played, and as such, ensured he will stick with the women. Despite naming the men’s alliance the Hunkz based on one of Jesse’s tatts. The bobbsey twins then pulled PD aside to loop him in, as they happily wandered off thinking 4 was a majority in a tribe of 5.

While everything felt settled, Laura started to get nervous about whether Kate and Morgan are actually with her, so pulled Kate aside to confirm. Sadly, in front of the boys. After sending Kate off, telling her to tell them she is desperate and just throwing out plans, Laura went idol hunting. And while she didn’t jag an idol, she did jag an advantage. One so good, she felt like she would be on top. Zara stumbled upon her, with the duo locking in their trust as she shared the as yet unknown advantage. Which seems kinda dicey, given Zara’s angry fuck. Despite being current besties, Zara had had it. Officially. As she just can’t catch a break and felt like the advantage was actually a disaster. Laura pointed out it is a solo game and as such, was going to play it. Not to be out done though, Zara vowed to spill the information far and wide.

We pivoted straight to tribal council where Zara refused to vote for Laura, which kind of gave a hint of what the advantage was. Jesse spoke about struggling with the poles, and that is why they dropped, not him throwing the challenge or anything. Zara meanwhile whispered to Laura that she is a rat. And once JLP called it out, Laura tried to save face, by pointing out that whoever received the most votes tonight won’t be going home and instead they would join Brawn. Zara and Myles suggested it go down to an open forum, with Laura and Zara both putting their hands up. Myles asked what the goal would be of them going, with Zara and Laura sharing why they would be best placed to foster relationships heading into merge.

Ben suggested Laura just wants to go over to reunite with her bestie, with her countering that Zara’s bestie Karin is also there. Though when Ben and Jesse pointed out Karin is working with Kristin, things looked more hopeful. Well, for Zara. As Laura congratulated her on a game well played. Ben asked Zara if she would get rid of AJ if she were to go, with her assuring them she has no interest in playing with chaotic players. Leading to the former Brawns whispering about which one was the right decision. With that the tribe voted and Zara, narrowly, came out on top. And after eventually gathering her things, she wandered off to reunite with Karin. As Laura simmered with rage, telling everyone that she wouldn’t have done that to Zara.

We followed her off to her new tribe where Karin and Logan were absolutely delighted to see their former ally. She then regalled them with the tale of how she made her way there, with her conveniently saying that she and Laura found the advantage together. She assured Logan that while the OG Brains were on the bottom of the tribe, they had all worked their arses off to make some inroads with the tribe. She then asked if they could catch her up on what she had missed, though was unsure she should do that in a group setting, given it sounds pretty feisty.

The next day Laura was still simmering with rage at Brains, talking about how angry she was that Zara stole her exit to Brawn. And when Jesse apologised, not realising Zara was hijacking it and that he would have voted differently if he did, she assured him that all her anger is directed towards Zara. Kate too was frustrated, though at both Laura and Zara, because they were about to blindside Jesse. And still could have done that, if only they didn’t find the damn non-advantage. And now that they have to wait longer, their plans could leak before they have the chance to get him. As such, Kate caught up with Jesse to talk through plans post-merge, with him rightly clocking that their alliance could crumble and suggesting that they need to figure out their next moves. With him pitching they take out Zara at the merge.

Myles meanwhile was having a good laugh, given he once again copped votes at tribal council, even though he wasn’t part of it. Thankfully, though, he assured us that he wasn’t serious about aligning with the boys, given they are idiots (my words, not his). What he was serious about, though, was finding an idol, so he scurried away to go hunting. With him once again making easy work of it, pocketing the idol and keeping our pole-dancing bi king alive for another day.

Also Ben is nowhere to be seen around camp, which feels odd, no?

We checked in with the Brawns where Zara realised she was now living a life of luxury, while Karin was just delighted to have her bestie back in the game. And hopeful that she would be able to use Zara to get rid of AJ. He obviously knew it, following them around like a bad smell every time they tried to chat, with Kaz eventually storming off, enraged with him. AJ used the time to loop Zara in on the fact that he didn’t tell Karin about her idol and how that was the final straw, after his theatrics. Though he was now hopeful Zara would be able to help him smooth things over. He told her not to trust anything Paulie says. Which she agreed with, suggesting that once he is gone, she would like to turn their attention to Logan, as they cannot risk her and Laura reuniting at the merge. Which was music to AJ’s ears, as he felt he could finally claw his way back to the top.

My love JLP returned for the reward challenge where the tribes would face off 1 on 1, sliding down a ramp to collect a ring and then wrestle it to their pole. With the first tribe to three scoring a trip to the Survivor Spaghetti Shack. Just a reminder, they would be slipping a ring on their poles, which is important. Logan and Kate were first to battle, with the icons fighting hard before Logan scored the first point for Brawn. The twink and twunk faced off again, with Paulie dragging Myles and the ring to put Brawn further in front. Morgan then destroyed Karin before Ben, who apparently was just on the toilet earlier, tied things up over AJ. Who literally just gave up. PD and Kaelan then faced off for the win, with Kaelan once injuring someone, as medical were called in as PD’s arm made a cracking sound. 

As he received care, Kaelan ran to the side in tears, heartbroken to have injured someone. Again. As everyone assured him it was an accident. PD was moved off to a seat where JLP – a qualified doctor, need I remind you – and the doctor decided he may have just torn a tendon, given he could still move his arm. As everyone was focused on making sure Kaelan didn’t stress about his latest victim, Laura pulled Logan aside to warn her that Zara hijacked the non-advantage and not to trust her. Rather than calling off the challenge, JLP called that battle a draw and instead Zara and Laura would end their feud for the win. While JLP begged everyone to be gentle from now on. As they made their way to the top of the ramp, Zara apologised profusely and while it appeared that everything was all good, neither gave an inch during the challenge and after 10 minutes, Laura took out victory for the Brains. After JLP handed the Brains a scroll to explain how their feast would work, PD assured Kaelan everything was all good before he was taken off for further assessment, and ugh, seeing Kaelan break down in tears again was so heartbreaking.

We followed the Brains off to their reward where they read the scroll outlining they would each visit the shack solo. Being fair they all drew sticks, with Jesse first and Kate forced to go in last. Jesse ventured and absolutely demolished the entire set while going to town on some balls. After finding nothing, Ben went in to try, followed by Laura before Myles got to have his turn. And unlike the rest of the tribe, he emptied the bowl to discover a note telling him to check the shelf. Or so he thought, given the note actually said to check the shelter. And while he turned the place apart, he didn’t realise his mistake. Nor did Kate, who went last. 

Back at camp the Brawn tribe were heartbroken to have missed out on the spaghetti, though didn’t have time to dwell, as Kristin asked if anyone managed to get information from the other tribe during the challenge. Logan obviously stayed awkwardly quiet, given Laura told her that Zara threw her under the bus at the last tribal council. Logan pulled Karin aside to see whether they can trust Zara, particularly given she is close to AJ and may just let him get away with voting her out. Logan and Karin agreed they now have the ick with AJ and while they tried to float getting rid of him with Kaelan, the quiet killer still wanted to take out Paulie first. As such, the trio went idol hunting as Logan was convinced that AJ would be the death of her. She then immediately found the idol, thrilled to have some power. And can be assured that neither AJ or Paulie don’t have it. Oh and she managed to build a little trust with Kaelan and Karin in the process, which she hoped could help her take control at the merge.

Meaning PD is definitely not coming back and this episode is now just dedicated to setting up merge plot lines, no? Though watching Karin and Logan cackle about accidentally sending home AJ on a split was fun.

We checked in with the Brains where Kate held onto a massive bag of food for PD’s return, presumably to distract herself from how irate she was with Jesse for eating all the meatballs. While Myles was angry at himself for not finding the idol on the shelf. Thankfully he perked up after finding the scroll in the shelter, and this one was actually good, the power to steal an idol before JLP sends people off to vote at tribal council. Aka Knowledge is Power.

The tribes reunited for the latest immunity challenge where PD joined them with his arm in a sling. Again, the second person to become Kaelan’s victim. Thankfully for Kaelan’s guilt, PD was allowed to stay, Missy style, as his bicep was just torn. Though JLP cautioned that he may not be able to compete in every challenge. PD promptly sat out for the Brains meaning AJ had to sit out on Brawn. Which was wise, as it was a challenge that one person could throw. Everyone would hold a rope to balance a disc while they worked to build a stack of blocks on top. With the first to ten scoring immunity. Logan ran the Brawn tribe like it was a military operation, getting out to a huge lead as the Brains struggled to figure it out. Until Brawn dropped after loading their ninth block, opening things up for Brains. Brawn caught up and then dropped again, before Kate put everyone out of their misery, saving the Brains stack while placing the final block.

Back at camp Paulie and AJ were both feeling anxious, pulling their people aside to find some allies. Paulie tried his luck with Kristin, while AJ, Karin and Kaelan caught up, with AJ pretending he will be fine to be the split vote to apologise for playing so crazily. He, Karin, Zara and Logan caught up by the well with Zara telling AJ to pull his head in and make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid. As she will not tolerate his bullshit. Karin, meanwhile, wanted to make AJ sweat a little to punish him for his theatrics. As such, she caught up with Paulie with our zaddy reiterating that she can not trust AJ and he clearly isn’t going to help her make it to the end. And as such, she needs to jump on board his plan to get rid of AJ before he gets rid of her. Paulie pulled Kristin aside to float the idea of her playing her idol for him tonight to send AJ home instead. He made a very wise pitch, suggesting that if she saves him, at the merge they just need to pull PD over and then they can play the middle for the first few votes. Which Kristin found hilarious given she now holds all the power, and PD is actually her ally anyway.

AJ started to get nervous as Paulie and Logan kikied in the shelter, so pulled Kaelan aside to talk through the vote and make sure he didn’t need to worry, given Paulie seemed way too comfortable. AJ was confident that Kristin and Zara wouldn’t turn on him, but was concerned about Karin and Logan. And given he was nervous about a Paulie idol play, he wondered whether they should be talking out Logan instead. He clocked that Kate and Morgan would join Logan and Laura at the merge and become a dangerous foursome, while Paulie will always be a target. And while Kaelan tried to talk him off the edge, Zara joined the boys to confirm with them that the Paulie plan is still on. Kristin and Karin joined the fray, with Kristin telling them everything and shutting it all down. Though trust, Karin was kinda hoping for some drama or an idol play, so she could see AJ accidentally heading out the door.

When the Brains arrived at tribal council, the tribe – along with us – were gagged to learn that none of them would be going home tonight as tribal council was cancelled. Ben had opted to quit the game, off screen, leaving us with no clarity or final words. After an assurance that one of them just got a second chance, they all got sent back to camp as I made a beeline for the airport hoping to catch Ben. And while he was already through customs, I wasn’t able to get answers about his mysterious exit – let’s pray the producers give us something tonight – I was able to lob a Peanut Butter and Chocolate Bendt Bylett Cake to him for the flight home.

Despite leaving no impact on the season, Ben lucked out with arguably the best recipe – a NYT copycat – as this cake is God tier. I mean, you can’t go wrong with the combination of peanut butter and chocolate. And when we slather it in two glazes, it is even better.

Enjoy!

Peanut Butter and Chocolate Bendt Bylett Cake
Serves: 12.

Ingredients
240g smooth peanut butter
115g cream cheese, at room temperature
75g muscovado sugar
5 eggs, at room temperature
1 tbsp vanilla extract
430g flour
¾ tsp sea salt, plus a pinch for the icing
95g cocoa powder
240ml boiling water
240ml cold natural yoghurt
225g unsalted butter
120ml vegetable oil
400g caster sugar
1 ¼ tsp baking powder
¾ tsp baking soda
140ml thickened cream
60g smooth peanut butter
60g icing sugar
pinch of sea salt
55g dark chocolate

Method
First in a stand mixer, cream 180g of the peanut butter with the cream cheese and muscovado sugar using a paddle attachment on medium speed for five minutes, or until light and fluffy. Egg one of the eggs and a teaspoon of the vanilla, and mix until fully incorporated. Reduce to low and gently add three tablespoons of flour and ¼ teaspoon of salt and mix until just combined. Transfer to a bowl while you work on the chocolate cake.

Speaking of which, preheat the oven to 170C. Lightly butter a bundt tin and dust with cocoa to fully coat.

Pop the 95g of cocoa in a small bowl and whisk in the boiling water to form a nice, chocolatey slurry before adding the yoghurt and whisking to combine. Leave to rest.

Meanwhile combine the butter, oil and caster sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer and cream with a paddle attachment on medium for five minutes, or until light and fluffy. Reduce to medium and add the remaining four eggs one at a time, allowing the mixture to come back together after each addition, before adding the remaining vanilla. Whisk the remaining flour in a bowl with the baking powder, soda and salt. Reduce the mixer to low and slowly add a third of the flour until it is all combined. Add half the cocoa-yoghurt, and once it is combined, follow with a third of the flour, followed by the remaining wet ingredients and then the remaining flour until the batter comes together.

Pour about two-thirds of the chocolate batter into the lined bundt, spreading to form an even layer, before carving a little moat in the middle of the ring. Spoon in the peanut butter batter, before covering with the remaining chocolate batter, once again smoothing the top. Pop the bundt on a lined baking sheet and pop it in the oven to bake for 60-75 minutes, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean. Transfer to a wire rake to cool in the pan for ten minutes, before flipping and allowing to cool completely.

While the cake chills, get to work on the glazes. First, heat 60ml of the cream in a small pot and combine the remaining peanut butter with the icing sugar and a pinch of salt in a small bowl. Once simmering, pour the cream into the peanut butter and stir until combined.

Repeat the process with the remaining cream, this time pouring it over the chocolate in a separate bowl and stirring until it is melted and combined.

To decorate, transfer the cake to a baking sheet and spoon half the chocolate glaze over the top, allowing it to drip down the sides. Follow with half the peanut butter glaze, before repeating the process, swirling the glazes with a spoon to make it nice and pretty.

Allow the glaze to set for half an hour before carving and devouring, solo. While it’s namesake flies away from the island with no context.


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Kent Miller-Feuillendle

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor everything was on the up and up for the Brawns after winning their first immunity challenge. After a little scene with Zen talking about his hunger, the tribes arrived at the reward challenge where JLP announced that despite it only being episode three, it is a doozy. Eleven individual bowls of fries, ready for the loading. The Brawn tribe dominated the challenge 5-0, however Zen appeared to do something with his hand while wrestling Kaelan. Back at camp, Paulie found a clue to the hidden immunity idol in his bowl, so quickly went hunting while the rest of the tribe went swimming. It was then that Zen realised his hand had doubled in size. We then fast forwarded to the immunity challenge where both tribes were gagged to see him return from medical leave with a cast on his hand due to a badly broken finger, which sadly meant he was being pulled from the game.

As everyone wiped away their tears, we did a hard pivot and turned our attention back to the immunity challenge where they would race over a series of obstacles to collect rope and bamboo. They would then use said rope and bamboo to fashion a big ol’ stick to knock a bottle off a shelf to release a key. Next, they would use said key to unlock coconuts and then use said coconuts to knock out tiles. On the first obstacle Kent almost became the second medevac as he took a hard fall on his head. Both tribes were neck and neck – no pun intended – with Kent working at a feverish pace, clearly knowing his terrible game hasn’t made him many friends. Brawns started to pull away as the Brains descended into chaos, with Rich barking orders and annoying the hell out of all the women. Somehow things got closer with both tribes shooting coconuts, as Kent proved himself valuable to the Brains knocking tile after tile. Just sadly not as quickly as Ben for the Brawns, who secured their second immunity challenge.

Back at camp Kent immediately got back to work targeting Myles, lecturing him in front of the tribe, which only made him more dislikable. As such, the dolls rightly got to work locking in a plan against Kent instead, and immediately looped in Myles. After assuring him to not worry about any other plan he hears. The Coven joined the rest of the tribe to lock in the Kent plan, which frustrated AJ, who felt it was a waste of time given he will always be a target. But given AJ is literally wearing a different outfit in his confessional, I think he will be on the wrong side of the vote tonight.

AJ pulled Myles aside to float a plan to get rid of Logan instead, given she is popular, likeable and influential. Like Shonee, remember. With Myles apparently open to it, AJ went to Kaelan before finding a potential woman to flip to his side. Deciding Ally was the most likely to jump, he checked in with her and while she was open to it, he didn’t actually name names. Sadly she went straight to Logan assuming his plan was Rich, and floated getting rid of him instead. Which Logan, obviously, was 100% fine with. She then ran the plan past Laura, unaware that she was really the plan. While Laura tried to talk her out of it, she doubled down on hating Rich so much that getting rid of him would be best for her mental health. They then hilariously caught up with AJ, who had to pretend the plan was still Kent.

AJ finally pulled Ally and Max aside, who were gagged to learn that Logan was his actual target and as such, pulled the pin in the plan and went back to getting rid of Kent. As Ally assured him she is fine to get rid of Logan, just not yet. Despite AJ begging Ally to not say anything, she immediately took the information back to Logan, who was rightly pissed and looped in Laura, begging her to flip the vote on AJ and send him home instead. Which is 100% what would happen to a poker player, no?

We finally ventured to tribal council where Kent spoke about how much easier this tribal council will be compared to their first. Logan admitted she has an idea of who is potentially aligned, but still isn’t confident in knowing who to trust. Myles spoke about being a free agent and just wanting to prove himself as such to downplay the perception that he is playing too hard. Rich shared that there are multiple people on the block tonight, with Logan coyly pointing out someone may not even know they’re on the block. As she whispered to Laura about how much she wants to see AJ go. Kent then spoke about having an exceptional read on the situation and felt it was unlikely he was being blindsided. AJ spoke about the fear of making the wrong move and not getting your target out. Which Logan laughed about, admitting she is struggling to decide whether to go for instant gratification of getting someone out or planning three steps ahead. While Laura tried to caution everyone to think their moves out carefully.

With that, obviously, the tribe voted – Kent even more obviously for Myles – before the tribe stuck to the original plan and the votes piled up on Kent. Much to his shock and the utter jubilation of everyone at home. None more so than me. As Kent arrived at Loser Lodge, however, he was actually kind of sweet, so instead, I commiserated with him about his loss. Because as a super fan, that is one thing I can relate to. As such, I toasted him living out his dream, however short it may have lasted, with a gorgeously rich Kent Miller-Feuillendle.

Like the man himself, this little treat is oh so rich. But in this instance, it is a good thing. The custard is velvety and smooth, the pastry is crisp and light, creating the perfect quick and easy dessert. Only because this is a cheats version, obviously.

Enjoy!

Kent Miller-Feuillendle
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
1 tbsp custard powder
1 cup milk, plus extra for glazin’
1 tbsp raw caster sugar
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1 ½ sheets puff pastry, thawed
⅔ cup thickened cream
1 cup icing sugar
2 tsp glucose syrup
2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
1 tbsp cocoa powder

Method
Preheat the oven to 200°C.

Combine the custard powder and a quarter of the milk in a saucepan until well combined. Whisk in the sugar, vanilla and remaining milk and cook over medium heat for about five minutes, or until the custard thickens. Remove from the heat and transfer to a bowl, covering with a piece of cling film directly touching the surface and chill for a couple of hours for an hour or so.

While the custard is chilling, place the pastry on a lined baking sheet and top with a second piece of baking paper, followed by a second baking tray, and bake for 20 minutes. Remove the top trays and bake for a further five minutes, or until golden and crisp. Transfer to a wire rack and allow to cool completely.

To make the glaze, whisk the icing sugar, glucose and melted butter in a bowl with a little bit of milk, one tablespoon at a time, until you have a thick but pourable glaze. Remove a quarter of the glaze to another bowl and whisk in the cocoa.

When you’re almost ready to start assembling, whisk the cream until stiff peaks form and fold it through the custard mixture. Cut the pastry in half using a serrated knife and place one piece on a platter. Spread with half the custard cream, top with another sheet of pastry and the remaining cream before topping with the last piece of pastry. Pour over the white glaze, spreading evenly with a spatula. Drizzle lines of chocolate glaze lengthwise along the strip, before using a skewer or toothpick to create a pattern.

Pop in the fridge to set before devouring, greedily, thinking about burning the hats of teachers.


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Soa de Muesli Cookies

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars 1, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Global All Stars the dolls starred in boobielicious Boobie Movie sequels in the vein of one of the best episodes of All Stars 2 featuring Thelma and Wheezy and the birth of doo-wa, but make it Barbie. But I’ve digressed. In record time. I mean, the first sentence! Everyone was kind of great this week, but Kween Kong dominated as the giant Jurassic Boobie and rightly took out her second win of the season. Then Ru had to split hairs, tragically going with Gala being overwhelmed by her look on the runway and Eva falling in and out of character as reason to be in the bottom. With the iconic Eva tragically going home.

Backstage the dolls were gagged to have lost Eva though Gala was thrilled to prove that she is a lip sync assassin on the global stage. But vowed to step it up this week to avoid showing those skills too often. Pythia meanwhile was heartbroken to be losing her besties week after week, which in turn breaks my heart because Pythia is the sweetest. Vanity spoke about how sure she was that she was going to lip sync because she is getting stuck further and further in her head. Kween sympathised about how hard that can be, sharing that she felt like that was her experience on her OG season. While Alyssa tried to give a pep talk about them being stars, as they remain while the room gets more spacious.

Oh and then Gala (almost) showed hole, which is important.

The next day the dolls were energised to slay another week, with Alyssa in particular thrilled to get out of the safe zone. Everyone congratulated Kween for getting her second win, before turning their attention to Gala’s survival. Thankfully she and Vanity were ready to rise from the bottom though, so all was right in the world. Or they are back in the bottom tonight. Talk turned to what this week’s challenge could be before Ru dropped by to put the girl’s through a little quick-drag flight mini challenge. With the make-up being done in the air, during a heavy bout of turbulence. And hot damn it was silly, fun and a solid reminder of the kind of challenges we enjoyed in the early years when there was an off season. That being said, there was allegedly a judging criteria somewhere and that handed Tessa the win. 

Ru asked the dolls to partner up with the sister they would like to have a drink with, leaving Nehellenia alone. Leaving her free to pick her throuple. Tessa and Alyssa formed one duo, with Kween and Gala, and Vanity and Soa the others, while Kitty and Pythia’s couple was joined by the aformentioned third, in the form of Nelly. Ru then explained that the pairings are important for this week’s maxi challenge as before the season, they were all asked to pack a suitcase of raw materials, which their partner would now be using to design a cocktail dress. So congratulations Tessa, because Alyssa’s supplies are going to be expensive. While Kween will be naked, given Gala loves to serve body and Kween has a lot of it.

After dropping that bomb, Ru exited and allowed the dolls to go through their new supplies. Soa was thrilled with Vanity’s golden fabric while Vanity was hoping the emerald green would be enough to get her rudemption. As predicted, Tessa was delighted by her luxe new materials while Alyssa was ready to break down looking at the scraps she inherited from Tessa. Literal scraps. Kween was excited that Gala actually pulled together a bunch of fabrics, looking forward to serving another design, given it is her bread and butter. While Gala was hoping to serve glamour with the lovely fabrics she inherited. Our throuple were a little more apprehensive as Nehellenia inherited two lycras from Kitty, along with a lace, much to her disgust. Kitty on the other hand was loving her suitcase from Pythia.

As they got to work on their looks, Soa grew more and more nervous about the process, though was hopeful there were enough terrible designers in the pack to help her scrape through one more time. Given Alyssa can’t sew, Tessa has questionable taste and Nehellenia was in tears over her fabrics and unable to focus. Kitty briefly checked in to see if she was ok, before flipping it and confronting her for being ungrateful for the multiple, expensive fabrics she inherited when other girls just got one option.

Before the fight could explode, Ru dropped by to kiki with Tessa continuing to delight in how well stocked Alyssa’s suitcase was and how she will be using it to her advantage. Alyssa meanwhile showed off her collection of scraps. Ru praised Alyssa for turning look after look each and every week, cautioning her to not be too boring with her design and oh Alyssa, you (may be) in danger girl. Soa meanwhile was going to glue, drape and hope for the best, Vanity was going rich-glam bow, Gala was going luxe whore and Kween was planning to serve Gala by way of Grace Jones. Nehellenia was still pressed about her fabric though her design looked exceptional, Kitty was planning to twin it with Ru and Pythia had essentially done her dress already and it looked incredible.

Oh and then Kitty handed Nehellenia a tagline in the form of ‘margherita pizza’, which delighted Ru to no end.

After Ru departed again, the dolls quickly buckled down to pull their dresses together. Which in Vanity’s case was just making it over and over again, as she kept changing her mind. Two-thirds of the throuple, on the other hand, were vibing, while Nehellenia was now battling with the sewing machine.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to beat their mugs with Gala ready to serve body-ody-ody, sharing that she would be padding today and trying something new. Soa meanwhile was lightening her make-up as Michelle requested, as Kween sweetly coached her how to work with the skin tone. Tessa was hoping her gown would finally get Alyssa to adopt her and if not, she would like an expensive meal to congratulate her on her win. Vanity meanwhile was spiralling, as she tried too many options the day before and was left with nothing more than scraps, so was literally working paper on to the new gown she was pulling together in the minutes before stepping on the runway.

Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by the gorgeous Jasmine Tookes as Alyssa Edwards opened the 5 O’Clock Somewhere runway trying her best to enjoy her cheap fabric like only Katy Perry could. Alyssa’s words, which I co-sign. Tessa meanwhile was stunning, feeling all her oats and giving her best Alyssa. Soa’s dress lacked shape but hot damn, her make-up was stunning. Vanity somehow managed to pull the look together serving avant garde Poison Ivy, Kween served expensive frill neck lizard, Gala meanwhile looked like Alyssa Edwards doing Marilyn Monroe, Kitty was a silly delight, once again giving night on the town. Nehellenia looked lovely, though she herself hated everything about her ugly dress. While Pythia gave gilded glam and looked stunning, despite her wig not making much sense.

Alyssa, Kitty and Nehellenia were sent to safety before the judges lavished Tessa with all the praise for serving such a stunning look. And by Tessa, Alyssa’s fabrics. Soa’s softened mug was beloved, as was the colour, though she was read for the general shape of her gown. Vanity was praised for the concept, though read for the general execution as she opened up about struggling with her inner saboteur. Kween was praised for giving something different and finding a way to combine herself and Gala in the look. And getting her rudemption from Down Under. Gala meanwhile was praised for trying something different this week and while the dress wasn’t perfect, they lived for what she was trying to do. Oh and then Pythia was beloved, because she is Pythia. Again, despite the wig.

Backstage the safe dolls were delighted to be deemed as such, though Kitty didn’t waste any time throwing shade at Nehellenia for being so emotional. After clocking the tops, them and the bottoms joined the safe dolls with Tessa delighted by how much the judges lived for everything she served this week. Gala meanwhile was hopeful that she wasn’t the worst and ready to slide by, while Vanity was ready to lip sync and fight for another day. Kween asked her to try and relax and get out of her head so she could enjoy herself. Soa meanwhile knew she was in the bottom, though was so proud of how far she had come.

Ultimately it was Tessa that took out her first win of the season before Kween and Pythia were sent to safety. As was an extremely shocked Vanity, leaving Gala and Soa to lip sync to Jessie J, Ariana Grande and my girl Nicki’s Bang Bang. And let’s just say the assassins proved how they got their titles, giving their everything and hitting every lyric, feeling all the feels and flipping around the stage. Sadly for my sweet Soa, however, Gala proved herself unstoppable, giving all the anger and attitude, saving herself and sending Sia out of the competition.

As is oft the case, it didn’t take Soa to find me backstage. All she had to do was follow my guttural, wailing cries, as I desperately tried to figure out why such a bright star like Soa was sent home early. She pulled me in for a massive hug and assured me that she loves Kween, Kitty and Alyssa, so doesn’t want me to hold it against them that Ru may be appearing to play favourites with her girls. I continued to sob for a minimum of four hours before finally telling Soa how proud of her I am, for pushing herself and showing the world just how talented she is. And while that isn’t a crown, there is a form of win in there somewhere. And if we don’t count that, we can always count the delicious batch of Soa de Muesli Cookies.

There is nothing more delicious that a muesli cookie. I mean, yeah, chocolates and cornflakes and nuts all make delightful fillings, but the simplicity of dates, oats, coconut and raisin are their own wholesome form of fun.

Enjoy!

Soa de Muesli Cookies
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
100g pitted dates, roughly chopped
⅓ cup boiling water
1 egg
2 tbsp honey
¼ cup coconut oil, melted
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 ¼ cups rolled oats
½ cup flaked almonds
⅓ cup desiccated coconut
½ cup sultanas
¾ cup almond meal
½ tsp baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C and line a baking sheet with baking paper.

Pop the dates in a bowl and pour over the boiling water and leave to soak for ten minutes. Once nice and soft, mash with a fork to form a paste before mixing in the egg, honey, coconut oil and vanilla.

When the wet ingredients are combined, fold in the oats, almonds, coconut, sultanas, almond meal, baking powder and cinnamon to form a thick batter.

Divide the batter into 8, rolls into balls and flatten on the lined baking sheet to form thick mounds. Transfer to the oven and bake for 20 minutes, or until golden.

Remove from the oven and leave to cool on the tray for 10 minutes, before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely. And then devour.


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Nutella Biskitty Scott-Clauscake Bars

Baking, Cake, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars 1, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race, hang on, hold the phone Mabel – where have we been?! We missed Nymphia snag a crown on the mothership and *checks notes/the edit* Lemon get her non-Ru rudemption on Canada vs the World 2, but we’re back for a farewell tour? Well, the answer is yes. Because if Ru is going to assemble a single iconic queen from 12 franchises around the world, well I am seated. Or in the words of Ru, my pussy, like the world’s, is about to be set on fire. Exactly like my girls Lady Gaga and Celine did in Paris for the Olympics.

But that is the other opening ceremony, and I’ve digressed.

Forgoing entries into the Werk Room, the dolls went straight to the mainstage to met with Ru, Michelle and Jamal. And first to strut the runway in her Opening Ceremony Extravaganza Eleganza was Athena Likis from Drag Race Belgique serving sexy milk maid and sassing Ru for being old. Miranda Lebrão from Brasil was silly and living her best life while simultaneously giving Sasha Velour. And requesting four vaginas. Canada’s Pythia – the icon herself – arrived ready to cluck outside the box. Kween Kong chuckled her way onto the international stage ready to do Jamal, which is relatable. Soa de Muse gave burlesque and continued to charm through acting and lip syncing all the way from France, in the hope that Jamal fucks her. Nehellenia gave sweet, space glamazonian and ugh, I love her. Germany’s Tessa Testicle was a shimmering floral delight ready to marry Michelle, proving she is smart.

And has balls. Geddit? Well, one. I’ll show myself out.

Gala Varo joined us from Mexico looking stunning and ready to serve sex. Eva Le Queen from Philippines – Marina’s sister – packed her lip gloss and was ready for a crown. Alex’s bestie Vanity Vain arrived serving forest moose, representing Sweden. Kitty Scott-Claus scratched her way back onto the teev, ready to camp it up to the end before Alyssa arrived and reminded us that always and forever, she is an icon and is hands down the one to beat.

All twelve returned to the stage for their official welcome into the competition, and learnt that not only will the winner head to Daytona Beach to inaugurate the international pavilion of the Hall of Fame, but they’d also score a cheeky $200K. US dollars. Which is honestly sickening, no? Better yet, nobody would be going home this week, in the spirit of world peace. Just like the Olympics proper. Athena, Miranda, Kween, Soa, Kitty and Alyssa were then called forward as the first contestants in the two-part Global Glamazon Talent Extravaganza, while the other dolls would just watch on from the sidelines and take a little wander down the runway.

Finally, we entered the global Werk Room where the dolls were gagged by how stunning it was. Kween was quick to welcome Alyssa back, while she looked at herself in the mirror as she greeted her international sisters, who were all rightly delighted to be amongst greatness. We then got a flashback to Alyssa’s first two iconic seasons, with her admitting she is ready to snatch the crown on her third time, knowing exactly what Ru and Michelle expect from her. As Kitty and Kween helped her de-drag, she met her new sister Tessa Testicle. Noting it is singular, in honour of her torsion.

Tessa then caught up with Soa and Athena to talk about how sexy Jamal is, which again, duh. Athena then moved on to Pythia, with the Greek duo excited to go from touring together to competing. We then learnt how Athena became an icon in her first season, ready to go from runner-up to the winning ambassador from Belgium. Miranda, Pythia and Eva meanwhile spoke about how weird it was to be in front of Ru, though questioned how much of an advantage Kitty, Kween and Alyssa have from already being known entities. Before Kitty broke the wardrobe, ruling her out from winning, given she cost Ru money.

Dia de Talent Show Part Une arrived with the performers splitting off to beat their mugs, as those who stupidly slept on France got to learn who Soa is. And who she is, my friends, is my favourite and I hope she is winning the crown. Kitty meanwhile told Gala and Nehellenia how excited she was to perform her talent before we were reminded that Ella was robbed in UK Season 3, though Kitty well and truly deserved her place at the end. Gamed out or not. Miranda meanwhile was busy opening up to Alyssa about how nervous she is to perform, with Alyssa agreeing that she is terrified to make her debut as she desperately wants Ru to see that she has applied herself. While Miranda explained she was nervous actually just nervous as she is doing something kinda dangerous. We then learnt that she made it all the way to the end of Brasil Season 1 and damn, she looks like an icon.

Kitty then got thirsty, leading the dolls in decreeing Gala the trade of the season. Which adds nothing, but is very important.

Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by Adriana Lima as Kween opened up the show with an iconic dance performance to her original song where she straight up lifted one of the back-up dancers and carried him around on her shoulders. Then, THEN, used leaf blowers as a wind machine and sassed them out for being colonisers. So crown her. Miranda was hilariously stupid before she jumped on a trapeze and while it was absolutely iconic, I was also so anxious about her falling, I couldn’t enjoy it as she flipped her sisters off. Plus, Ru looked scared about how much she’d have to pay her if she fell and cracked her skull, so we know she isn’t winning the challenge.

Kitty then sang live and damn, she has the pipes but the audio is kinda a flop this episode, no? But looking at the back-up dancer’s midriffs, I am anything but. Athena gave camp burlesque baby, complete with windmill nipple tassels. And wacky, waving inflatable arm Michelles. Soa too sang live and ugh, I love her so damn much. She was sultry, moody and Ru, please give her the flowers she so rightly deserves. Speaking of flowers, Alyssa gave a jazzercise lip sync performance and she just knows why she was invited back and this already feels like a victory lap. As she was a star. And so stupid. Which is just what we want from her.

On the Garden of Eden runway, Athena was stunning as a bound Eve, complete with apple in her mouth. Miranda was eaten by a snake and so beautiful, Pythia was a rotten apple – right to the core, right – Kween went with tree of life realness, Soa gave Lilith and was stun. Tessa gave neon bondage as she ate the apple, Nehellenia went from angel to devil and ugh, she is fun. Gala gave them original sin, tempting the judges in addition to her sisters. Eva went with the colourful version of the tree of life, Vanity gave the street-snake to Voldemort pipeline before Kitty showed her rosebud. Alyssa then stole the show in a shimmering garden-green beast of a gown.

Ru then announced that this week’s top two would lip sync for the win and a $10K cash tip. After sending the other dolls backstage, the judges lavished Athena with praise for being silly and fun in the show and looking gorgeous on the runway. Miranda is clearly a fave of Ru’s, from the stunning runway to the difficult madness of runway trapeze. Kween was praised for kicking the opening in the dick – thanks Hannah – and slaying the talent show, and looking moody on the runway. Soa’s runway received wall to wall praise, as did her cabaret performance. Kitty was praised for being fun and charismatic, before Alyssa got all of the praise, from her perfect talent to her glorious runway. Making Ru hold back tears – or pretend to – as she told Alyssa how proud of her she is.

Backstage Nehellenia was talking about how nervous she is to perform next week, given they have a lot to live up to, as they praised everyone for a job well done. The performers joined their sisters, talking about how great their feedback was. Everyone agreed Alyssa will definitely be in the top, with Alyssa thinking that Miranda will be joining her, on account of how challenging her performance was. Miranda then opened up about how she suffered from burns as a child which will lead to muscle wasting as she ages, and how the performance was a farewell, given she will likely lose the skill and ugh, I’m crying.

The dolls returned to the mainstage where Ru announced that it would be our very own Kween Kong that would face off against Alyssa for the win. And, yeah, we know this is going to be quite the lip sync. As soon as Rhianna’s Only Girl in the World kicked off, the dolls were fire. And yeah, it felt good to see Alyssa killing a lip sync again in 2024. She hit every lyric and every line, while Kween reminded us why she is considered the lip syncing assassin of Down Under, barrel rolling mid-air once again, overshadowing an Alyssa death drop in the process, before they finished hand in hand. Which rightly earned them both the win, splitting $10K in the process.

Backstage the dolls were gagged that Kween and Alysssa shared the win, while the duo were just excited to have a seat in the peanut gallery for the next week and relax and watch their sisters dominate.

The next day Eva was looking forward to getting the chance to show off her talent, while Vanity was pumped to redeem herself, given she bombed her first season. We then learnt more about Tessa who may not have had the longest run, but her mirror message was just her smooshing her bum on the mirror, so she is an icon. Plus, she is desperate to be adopted by Alyssa, so I love her. Gala opened up about doing pole dancing for her talent, with Kween valiantly volunteering to be the pole, should it be needed. Nehellenia admitted that she is very nervous about the talent show, given she was never in the bottom in her season of Italia. And she worried she wouldn’t be able to keep the streak going.

Ru dropped by to kiki with her daughters, by way of a little photoshoot for the cover of Quick Drag Magazine. Obviously the Werk Room descended into chaos with everyone hoping to avoid looking like a BEAST while slapping on their quick drag. They got in a soul train line for the zaddy pit crew member who was playing the photographer, with Pythia cute and fun, Kween was an absolute mess, Eva gave middle aged drunk, Alyssa served stoopid, Miranda was wacky, Gala gave arse – swoon – Kitty gave drunk Geri Halliwell, Vanity gave gogo cutie, Athena gave straight up cartwheels, Nehellenia served actual dancing diva, Soa was hilarious and Tessa rocked titty balls before Ru stopped the line, for the sake of dignity. Given she was actually a stunning dancer, it was Nehellenia who took out the win and earned herself $2,500 in the process.

After Ru disappeared, Kween dropped by to congratulate Nehellenia for being an absolute icon in the mini challenge. Alyssa meanwhile went to kiki with Gala who we learnt was an actual professor and met his deceased husband at an Alyssa Edwards show and ugh, I am crying again. Alyssa then moved on to give Nehellenia a pep talk about believing in herself before she opened up about her journey with her father, who went from someone that didn’t want little Nehellenia to dance to being her biggest supporter and best friend. Vanity meanwhile opened up about being a lone wolf in Sweden without a drag family, though admitted she was ready to show off her stunning singing voice. And hopefully not her temper, unlike last season.

Performance day arrived with Pythia realising this is literally the last time they will all be safe. Eva spoke about how hungry she is for a win, given she made it to the end of her original season without claiming one. Kinda like Cheryl, you know? Tessa meanwhile was just hoping to show that she was stupid and flexible in her talent show, while Alyssa opened up to her sisters about how she never went on a plane until she started doing drag. Talk turned to the diversity of the drag scenes, with Kween opening up about how Australia is super homogenised – because it is – and that she is so grateful to be among her new sisters and is able to find that universal language together.

When it came to Talent Show 2: Back in the Habit, Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by Danna as Pythia opened up the talent show with a demented clown bedtime story. Finishing by literally pulling a crown out of her bum. Nehellenia then slayed, singing an original song and dancing, live, and um, is this a new frontrunner emerging? Tessa then gave a comedy burlesque number, and given she continued to add Pit Crew members throughout the song, I live. Even if Kitty didn’t. Eva then taught us how to cook rice in a rice cooker before stripping down and sword fighting the Pit Crew and then slayed an inflatable dragon. Sooooo, crown her now, ploise. I mean, she finished screaming SON OF A BITCH, when she learnt the rice cooker was unplugged. So stupid. Gala then served all of the sex in her pole dance, while all of her sisters marvelled at how hot she is. Vanity then closed the show with a live performance and oh god, please don’t punish her for being a good singer Ru, because this was good.

On the Money Makes the World Go Round runway – local currency edition – Nehellenia gave a camp mille into euro barbie and ugh, I love it. Tessa gave coin warrior , Kitty was a shimmering delight, dripping in pounds. Pythia served Lady Britannia realness, Kween was a golden glamazon, Alyssa was the expensive version of Kween’s look, Eva went from piggy bank to a shimmering delight, Gala gave bohemian peso diva, Athena was a delight in silver chainmail, Soa gave historic finances in shell before Vanity was perfection giving krona realness and Miranda closed the show giving golden animal.

Nehellenia received wall to wall praise for her talent show, and they loved how fun her outfit was on the runway. While Tessa’s performance was messy, they loved that it was meant to be, while Ru was delighted by her look. Pythia was praised for thinking outside of the box, gagging Michelle that she literally makes all of her outfits. Eva was praised for being absolutely demented and looking gorgeous, and Gala was beloved for being so sexy and focussing on all the details. While Vanity was absolutely adored for all that she gave, particularly since her song was a bop.

Backstage the viewer dolls were proud of their runways and rather confident theirs was the better talent show, with all of them agreeing Eva, Gala and Vanity were the standouts. And they were kinda ready for Tessa to go. The other queens joined them to talk through their critiques, with all of them still mainly just shocked to be in Ru’s presence. Returning to the mainstage, it was ultimately Eva and Vanity were deemed the top two of the week, and lined up to lip sync for the win to Danna’s Paranoia. And yeah, it was a slay from both of the dolls. Eva was polished and turned a show, while Vanity was frankly captivating, leaning into the emotion as she hit every lyric. And while both were strong, it was Vanity that took out her first win of the season

Given Kitty was feeling it was high time to send some dolls home, I decided to pull her aside and remind her that while she knows how good it is to receive culinary comfort from moi, not all of her sisters have experienced that same luck, so be respectful of their nerves. Plus, nobody went home for two episodes, so I had to choose someone to celebrate early and as such, it was her. And I was kinda, sorta craving a big fat piece of Nutella Biskitty Scott-Clauscake Bars.

Biscoff has been having her moment for the last 5 years or so, and if every little treat you can make with it tastes this good, I am cool with her taking the mantle from nutella. These little bars are sticky, spicy and oh so sweet, though like Kitty’s humour, pack a little bite. And I love it.

Enjoy!

Nutella Biskitty Scott-Clauscake Bars
Serves: 2 dear friends, not yet gamed out.

Ingredients
220g lotus biscoff biscuits, finely crushed
70g unsalted butter, melted
500g cream cheese
100g icing sugar
50g nutella
300g biscoff spread

Method
Combine 200g of the crushed biscuits with the melted butter, stirring until well combined. Press into a square cake tin to form a base, and pop in the fridge to chill while you prepare the filling.

Equally as easy, pop the cream cheese in the bowl of a stand mixer with the icing sugar, nutella and 100g of the biscoff spread, and beat with the paddle attachment on medium for a couple of minutes, or until well combined. Pour on top of the base, smooth out the top and return the cake to the fridge.

Finally, melt the remaining biscoff and pour over the filling and smooth out. Sprinkling the top with the remaining biscuits crumb however inspires you creatively. I went with a pole, in honour of Gala, obviously.

Return the cake to the fridge and allow to set for at least four hours before carving into bars and devouring, to distract yourself from Gala and the zaddy Pit Crew member, pacifically.


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Kitty Cake Blomfield

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Baking, Cake, Dessert, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Kirby and Ri were left right out, with Kirby in particular feeling the heat for the very first time. Thankfully, she wasn’t ready to lie down just yet. She approached Feras and told him that she wants to beat the best and as such, promised that she would take him, Ri or Kitty at the end. Sadly, including the other two made her safe, but moved the target to them as Feras decided Ri was now expendable. After Kirby jagged immunity, she finally started to worry about losing her gal pal, so tried to woo the women to pick off the men instead. Sadly for her, Caroline and Kitty were more focused on building a resume and Feras was extremely convincing in telling them that Rianna was the best way to do it and as such, joined him to get rid of her.

Back at camp the mood was, let’s just say, intense as Kirby tried to pretend she was cool with things, asking who is claiming the move for their resume with a tone that felt like she was wielding a machete. And then when Caroline and Kitty tried to sell it as a group move, she burst out laughing. Kirby then pointed out that it is now three versus three down OG tribal lines, with the Titans laughing that that is definitely not the case. Kirby went for a wander as Feras and Ray joined the Titans, telling them that all will be good if they stick together. So not to worry. As they clearly started to worry.

The next day everyone was feeling every single one of those 42 days on the island, building a fire through the pain and at least trying to vibe. As Kirby sassed them all out for stabbing her in the back. Sadly for her, nobody really cared that she was pressed by Ri’s departure, since it was only making them more likely to knife her. After a brief interlude where she almost cut off Mark’s fingers, she caught up with Kitty to make her feel guilty for turning on Ri before going hunting for an idol. Feras followed her to catch up, with Mark nervous about the two Rebels being out there together, so sent Kitty as a spy. Sadly for her, however, they both knew she was there and as such, nothing wild could actually happen. Kitty then reminded Kirby that she will clearly have the best argument at final tribal council, as she in turn told Kitty that she, Kirby, will never win an endurance challenge, so can be taken out whenever, so what is the rush?

Given everyone else was out hunting, Caroline joined the fun to lessen the likelihood of Kirby getting it. With her quickly snatching the idol, vowing to use it wisely and build her resume. While also making sure nobody knows about it.

The tribe met up with JLP for the immunity challenge where they would have to build a tower on the end of a wobbly apparatus, walking back and forth hoping not to trip and knock the tower over. Feras dropped on his first walk, as Kirby and Ray got out to a small lead. To be fair though, it was pretty neck and neck outside of Feras, with everyone dropping at least once. Kirby had the lead, then Ray and finally Kitty, before she dropped and it went back to Kirby and Mark powering ahead. Kirby then knocked off a couple of blocks that she felt were problematic, leaving Mark and Kitty in front as Feras just kept dropping over and over again. Until Kirby ultimately put them all out of their misery as she placed her final block and made it back to the end of the course to jag her third immunity.

Back at camp everyone congratulated Kirby as Mark started to stress about being the new target. To save himself, he decided he would just join any majority that presented itself. And what do you know, Kirby, Feras and Ray were keen to work with him to get rid of Kitty given she is now unbeatable in an endurance challenge with Ri gone. Caroline meanwhile was hoping to use her idol to make another big move and as such, wanted to work with Kitty to finally get that revenge on Mark. She then caught up with Kirby, asking if she would be interested in working together to get rid of Mark, with Kirby quickly agreeing to jump onboard. They then pulled Feras aside to see if he and Ray would be interested in taking him out, and two minutes later, there was a new locked in plan. Caroline then shared with us that she planned to play her idol for Mark, idoling out Feras instead. And while it is a solid plan, I struggle to see Feras not playing his idol for himself if the supposed target has an idol played for them. But whatever.

Caroline started to feel super confident, hoping to wipe the smug look off Alex’s face at tribal council when she single handedly gets rid of Feras. She decided to lock in Mark to ensure they can keep it together without telling Kitty, given she cannot lie. Speaking of Feras, he was busy catching up with Kirby as they laughed it up and lived their best lives. He doubled down, wanting to go to the end with her, agreeing that they truly are the best two out there this season. Sadly for him, he felt the best idea would be to take out Mark over Kitty. Thankfully for him, Kirby felt Kitty was the bigger threat and tried to pressure him to change his mind. Particularly since the Titans appear to be arrogant, despite the deadlock.

At tribal council Kirby explained that she came to play the game as hard as possible, and if people won’t help her make moves, she will just battle for immunity instead. Mark meanwhile was disappointed to have fallen short at the challenge, but is still confident he can find a way to the end. While Caroline spoke about the importance of having a healthy level of nerves, while Mark reiterated that the jury wants big moves, so you need confidence to make them. Feras admitted he was sure that he doesn’t have all the information at the tribal council, with Kirby giggling about having the necklace and not having to worry about whatever blows up either way. Kitty reminded them that Kirby is unbeatable according to Alex, with her joking about Kirby making it all the way to the end on immunities alone, which lead to some side eye from Kirby and Feras.

Kitty admitted she could end up surprised and go to the jury, while Ray pointed out that while Kirby has won multiple immunities, it ultimately makes her more of a threat, meaning the longer she does survive, the bigger the target gets. While Kirby pointed out that Alex already made her a massive threat, so you best believe she is going to keep trying to win. Mark spoke about his fears that he will get votes tonight, Kitty said she was nervous while Caroline said nobody should feel safe unless they have a necklace. Though she was pretty confident her plan was going to happen. With that the tribe voted and Caroline played her idol for Mark, while the Rebels stuck together and blindsided Kitty from the game.

Given Kitty isn’t the best liar and has spent the entire game vibing, she was completely fine with being booted. Probably the least phased person I have ever cooked for, TBH, and that is why I love her. She was out there to have fun, she tried her best, beasted challenges and then gladly dipped to the jury when it was her time. So I was pretty damn pleased to reward her with a big ol’ Kitty Cake Blomfield.

Yes, this is literally just the iconic AWW cat birthday cake. But rest assured, Kitty did not get yellow cake mix for this filling. Use whatever cake recipe you like – I went with a Vania Vainilla Cake aka Milk Bar’s Birthday Cake – but bake it in two round cake tins, and decorate with your favourite lollies. It is truly perfect at any age.

Enjoy!

Kitty Cake Blomfield
Serves: 12.

Ingredients
1 batch Vania Vainilla Cake, cooked in a 20cm and 23cm round tins
1 batch Vania Vainilla Cake frosting
food colouring to make whatever colours you want your puss
Jujubees, musk sticks, mint leaves or any other lollies you enjoy, for decorating 

Method
So yes, this is less a recipe and more construction instructions, but whatever. In any event, Cut about an inch off an edge off each cake to create one flat side. Pop a little bit of icing on a cake board and position the two cakes on the board with the flat sides lined up. Cut up the offcuts of the two cakes to form ears, and position them on the top of the smaller cake.

Split the icing into two bowls – about half a cup in one, the rest in the other – and colour them as desired. Use the bigger batch to icing the cat, and the smaller portion to make a circle belly and the inside of the ears.

Using the lollies, fashion eyes, a nose and whiskers, and a little mouth and tongue. Use a long lolly to do a tail and then, honestly, just go nuts decorating with lollies to bring your inner child joy. And then devour, overwhelmed with soothing nostalgia.


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Sheeta Panaj Lemon Chicken

Main, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World 2, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World the dolls created an immersive experience for fans that promotes everything we love about the ever-expanding franchise, Drag Race World. While Scarlet was quickly able to identify this one as a branding challenge, and given she has a marketing degree, took control and absolutely slayed the game. Tia meanwhile tried desperately to keep Keta and Marina on task, in their group and while she was able to join Scarlet in the top, Keta was too much of a mess and landed in the bottom. With Jonbers, who was just flat as not a joke landed, while LGD and Hannah shone. In deliberations, Keta offered Tia some massages, while Jonbers worried that Scarlet was intimidated by her killer looks. Which may have been proven, as after Scarlet won the lip sync, she promptly booted Jonbers.

Backstage Scarlet was thrilled to finally grab her first solo win over the course of her three seasons, particularly since she felt sending a UK doll home was iconic. She felt her oats while cleaning the mirror, as Choriza felt that sending an icon like Jonbers home meant that the contest is really on. Keta thanked Scarlet for saving her, with Scarlet explaining her top performance in the ball is what tipped her over the edge, given she would like others to base decisions on her track record. Tia then tried to do a fake-out, pretending that she voted for Keta, before admitting that she too would have sent Jonbers home given she literally was just in the top two and has been slaying. Also, as she told us, eliminating one of the UK dolls means the target on her, Choriza and Gothy, is that much smaller with Jonbers gone.

The next day the mood was honestly full party mode as the dolls conga-ed into another week, while Marina just modelled, given she is an icon. The three victors showed off their badges as Hannah joked about being the queen of the safe club and as such, was grateful her target wasn’t so large. Ru then dropped by and quickly announced that this week the dolls would be playing the Snatch Game. Family Edition. Which obviously filled Tia with dread, given it is the challenge she went home. And as the winner of last week’s challenge, Scarlet had the power to select her family.

Everyone sat down to talk through the challenge, with Hannah, LGD and Keta proudly being past winners, while Choriza and Tia were terrified, given it was the challenge they went home on. Marina was happy with her OG performance, which is iconic to those in the Philippines, while Gothy and Scarlet were about to lose their Snatch Game virginity, and were equal parts nervous and excited. With that out of the way, Scarlet picked her family, going with Hannah, Choriza and Tia. Leaving the three ESL queens together, and Gothy, who is super shy, which feels shady. Which I love and hate. The families split up, with Scarlet announcing she will be making her debut as the Statue of Liberty, Tia was going with Anne Boleyn, while Choriza was going to be Henry VIII’s first wife, Catherine of Aragon.

Before we could learn who Hannah was doing, Ru dropped by to kiki, laughing at Tia finally jagging a win before she announced she will be Anne Boleyn, which delighted Ru. As Tia vowed to smash it out of the park. LGD was going with Carla Bruni, which made Ru nervous, as the double French accent was becoming hard to understand. Marina is following Melinda Verga’s footsteps with some Manny Pacquiao, while Ru was equally delighted by Choriza’s choice to play Catherine of Aragon. Which is good that she is Spanish, because her English accent isn’t great. Though better than Marina’s TBH, but damn they are charming. Keta will be bringing Fran Drescher, while Hannah is following in Jimbo’s footsteps as Shirley Temple. But make it Megan the doll. Side note: both of these repeats were filmed BEFORE the others aired, so these are not copycats, ok? Ru was delighted by Scarlet’s choice of Statue of Liberty and a little nervous for Gothy giving Kim Woodburn. And ugh, her nerves are going to get to her and I hate it.

We ventured to the Snatch Game: Family Edition set as Team Scarlet were led by Sinitta, while the rest were led by guest Jane McDonald. Team McDonald all stuck with their OG choices, with LGD cute, Keta started off strong, but lacked the jokes while Marina, like Melinda, was an icon as Manny. And poor Gothy just straight up bombed. Team Sinitta also stuck with their plans where Hannah was demented – though not as demented as Jimbo, obvi – Scarlet was iconic, Choriza was glorious and Tia stole the show holding her own head in her hands. Tragically the international girls all really struggled competing in their second language, though thankfully Marina did land a few killer blows. Scarlet was a powerhouse and Choriza filthy, though it was Tia and Hannah who really owned Snatch Game, hopefully leaving us with another two-time victor and some much needed rudemption.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls in varying moods as Hannah was feeling her oats, Scarlet was thrilled to do a good job on her first go, while Gothy knew she bombed and felt she did worse than she even thought possible. Keta too, knew she bombed, while LGD knew their family were far and away the shittest. Knowing they need to do a good job, the dolls split up to get ready for their runways to hopefully save them. Talk turned to the dating scenes in their respective countries, with LGD opening up about being a romantic, though looking forward to being a little looser too. Marina admitted that she is perennially single, given there is too much beauty. Hannah joked about importing her favourite d, her Geordie boyfriend. While Scarlet and Gothy just desperately wanted to have a loving drag husband. Gothy opened up about not knowing who she is and how can’t love someone else until she figures it out and ugh, Gothy is just such a sweet, tragic figure in the franchise. Isn’t she?

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined on the panel by knitting king Tom Daley as the dolls stomped the runway in Gone Cruisin’ looks. Keta gave patchwork pirate and ugh, she looked so stunning I mean, she even had an anchor nipple ring. Choriza was gorgeous in a blue and white latex mini with tentacles, LGD gave high fashion genuine sailor stripes in Gaultier, while Scarlet gave first class victim of the Titanic and Gothy gave baby Birth of Venus in the cutest way possible. Hannah gave Picnic at Hanging Rock on the ocean, but made it nightgown, Tia gave Ozempic Ursula – aka Karen the Kraken – and Marina closed the show with water heels and titties as a straight up sexy boat. And yeah, it was another slay.

Choriza and Marina were sent to safety before Keta was read for only just giving a laugh, and lacking the energy and fun of Fran. Which was tragically all there in her runway, which was excellence upon excellence. Tia meanwhile got wall to wall praise for being stupid and smart in equal measure as Anne Boleyn, and they also loved the runway, despite its simplicity. They wished LGD gave more and had fun, though obviously lived for her straight up perfect runway. Scarlet was praised for doing a solid job and looking perfect as Rose without her door from Titanic. Poor Gothy was read for just giving nothing in Snatch Game, and being too simple on the runway. While Hannah received wall to wall praise for being dumb and manic, and looking stunning.

Ultimately Tia and Hannah were deemed the top two of the week, and Scarlet and LGD were sent to safety leaving Keta Minaj and Gothy Kendoll up for elimination. Backstage Hannah and Tia were feeling their oats, while Choriza was gutted to be the new queen of the safe club. Tia opened up about how weird it is to be winning challenges, while Hannah was sad to elect a new president for her club in Choriza. Everyone spoke about how stunning LGD’s runway is, though they laughed about her choice of pizza boxer briefs underneath. Hannah checked in with Gothy whole was weeping quiet tears, while Keta was more upbeat about her bomb. Scarlet clocked Gothy for deciding she will be bad and as such, being bad in all the challenges.

Hannah caught up with Gothy to let her know how much she loves her, with Gothy talking about how difficult the contest is and how it keeps her stuck in her head. Hannah tried to get the fight from her, asking what Gothy needs to succeed. Though she seemed too broken to muster a tangible answer. Tia told Keta how strong she knows she is, though also noted that she has now been in the bottom twice in a row. They traded places with Keta telling Hannah that while she isn’t funny, she has a fire to be here and is ready to fight. Which both delighted and made Hannah scared that she could beat her in the end. Gothy spoke to Tia about how much the competition means to her, though worried about how she will be able to apply the judges feedback. With Tia straight up asking if she can cut it, or whether she should eliminate her as Keta is ready to fight each and every episode.

After Tia and Hannah selected their lipsticks, they ventured back to the mainstage as Ru pulled out the wireless and popped on Alcazar’s Crying at the Discotheque. And damn, the dolls turned a show. Though like Jimbo before her, Hannah tragically failed by not lip syncing as Shirley Temple. So while she hit every lyric and gave sex, Tia gave camp and emotion in equal measure, which was all it took to take out victory and claim her first badge. And then promptly saved her UK sister and showed Keta the door.

As Keta arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that while she was robbed, it still remains the best way to go if you’re going to place in the middle of the pack. Which she eventually agreed was true. I mean, look what happened to Pangina and Jimbo? Universally beloved and everyone is gagging for more, while Jujubee stayed consistent and made it to the end, but with a whimper and now we can’t have her back every year or so. Which honestly, is a travesty. I went on this exact rant with Keta and while she got bored in the middle, I brought it back to her situation and how bright her future may be. Which cheered her up as much as eating a big ol’ Sheeta Panaj Lemon Chicken.

This is the perfect mid-week meal, for when you need something warm and comforting, but are also close to tears as the weight of work and life gets to you. What, just me? Oh well, try it on a Wednesday night and you will understand.

Enjoy!

Sheeta Panaj Lemon Chicken
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1kg chicken breasts, diced
¼ cup extra virgin olive oil
8 cloves garlic, minced
1 tbsp smoked paprika
2 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp chilli flakes
1 tsp dried oregano
¼ tsp cinnamon
¼ tsp ground coriander seeds
kosher salt and black pepper
2 sweet potatoes, cut into thick chips
200g Jaida Essence Halloumi, sliced
1 lemon, quartered
1 cucumber, sliced
1 batch Aileen Choddess Dressing
1 cup Sierra Dawn-Hummus
4 Pita Andre Breads

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C. 

In a bowl, toss together the chicken with half the oil, the garlic, paprika, cumin, chilli, oregano, cinnamon, coriander, and a pinch of salt. 

While that does a quick little marinade, toss the sweet potato in the remaining oil with a good whack of salt and pepper. Spread on a lined baking sheet and pop in the oven for 15 minutes. Remove from the oven, flip and push to one end, adding the chicken, halloumi and lemon. Return to the oven to bake for a further 20 minutes, or until the chicken is golden and the chips crispy.

To serve, line a bowl with the Aileen Choddess Dressing, divide the chicken, chips and halloumi, dollop over the hummus, sprinkle with cucumber coins and squeeze over the caramelised lemon. Then devour, greedily, with a pita.


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Salted Peanut Caramel Jonbars Blonde

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World 2, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World the dolls were tasked with throwing a little Happy Endings Ball. By Michelle, no less, given Ru was busy recovering from the flu, or something. I am not a doctor. In any event, the first two categories were generally slays across the board. However the third and final category required them to pull together a look from scratch, and that is where things went a little wild. While LGD and Keta dominated and created beautiful gowns, Hannah had to rely on charm to carry her dress through, while Choriza just chose a hideous fabric and Arantxa was basic. Ultimately a recovered Ru decreed that LGD dominated the lip sync, and despite concerns about a UK alliance, opted to be fair and send home the iconic Arantxa. Breaking all of our hearts in the process.

Backstage LGD was thrilled to have her first badge, though gutted to have been the one to send sweet Arantxa home. Choriza, meanwhile, was heartbroken that her best friend’s run was cut so short, though grateful that the world would get to know who she is. Whether they could pronounce her name or not. Everyone congratulated LGD on her win, with her explaining that she didn’t save Arantxa as she felt she did worse in the challenge and that is how she is playing. While Tia was concerned Choriza rallying against her friend means they need to watch out for her. Talk turned to who Keta voted for, with her revealing she had Choriza’s lipstick, given without Arantxa, she wouldn’t have even had an outfit. Though everyone just assumed she was voting because she was more of a threat. Which Scarlet argued is how they should all be playing. Which obviously made everyone nervous.

The next day Gothy was thrilled to be continuing to break records by surviving two eliminations. After briefly admiring LGD’s new hardware, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be designing immersive experience attractions in Drag Race World, and then starring in a commercial to sell it to us in teams of three. As the tops and bottoms of last week, LGD, Keta and Choriza were deemed team captains, with LGD selecting Hannah and Jonbers, Keta opting for Tia and Marina, while Choriza selected Scarlet and was left with poor old, record-breaking Gothy. 

After Ru departed they split up into their teams to come up with concepts. Team Choriza got to it after she and Scarlet gave Gothy a pep talk about going from being the last pick to winning the challenge, which both of them managed on their OG seasons. Choriza had bigger fish to fry, though, as the green screen in UK Season 3 was so bad it resulted in nobody winning the challenge, which is yet another Drag Race record. Scarlet meanwhile took control, ideating and executing like an advertising icon, thrilled to finally get a chance to put her advertising degree to good use. Over at Team Keta, they were hoping to highlight their different countries as Tia tried to get them to potentially do the challenge instead. Team LGD learned about Hannah’s slutty ways, as she suggested Hannah’s Cove as an option, given that was what they called the back-room at the clubs. Jonbers was leaning into Ireland, while LGD was filling her attraction with her entourage, giving people the chance to meet someone that has met her. Which is iconic.

Ru made her return to kiki, with Team Keta talking through their two-thirds travel ad, complete with trauma from Tia to bring it back to the franchise. With Tia putting her UN experience to good use, it seems. Team Choriza, meanwhile, were completely on track, as they clocked this challenge as being all about branding, as Scarlet wisely found out how Ru sees her and opted to lean all the way into that. And is she the winner and the drama? Team LGD meanwhile had Ru giggling from start to finish, thanks in no small part to Hannah talking about feeling comfortable in the UK because you are what you eat. And her husband is British. Begging the question, did I love her in Down Under or is she just killing it this season? The teams regrouped to go through the feedback and figure out how to enhance their concepts. While LGD and Choriza’s gangs were thriving, Team Keta began to spiral, as Tia desperately tried to pull them together and get them to deliver on the task.

Team Choriza were first up to film with Michelle as Scarlet got it all done in one shot, slaying the game and feeling her oats. Gothy too was loving herself sick, giving the Brit Crew a bukkake party, despite Michelle cautioning they don’t need another cum joke in the franchise. While Choriza was just kiking with the girls. Team Keta went with an airline theme, with Tia terrified about her fellow dolls. And while Marina got a few chuckles, Keta was a bit of a mess. And by a bit, a lot. Thankfully, Tia was a star, nailing every moment and being an all around delight. Team LGD meanwhile brought a little chaos as LGD struggled with her lines, which is fair, given English is her second language. Plus, the scenes were weird and I love them. Given she ran over, Hannah powered through on the fly leaving Jonbers a little more time for her scenes, which are either terrible, or the fake out. But either way, she wasn’t happy with LGD.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to beat their mugs as Hannah ockered it up as she told Tia about having to cram in her time filming. LGD told the dolls that she really struggled and knows she took up a lot of time, which clearly bothered Jonbers, who wished she had way more. Keta whispered to Marina that she thinks they did well, with Marina just blindly hoping, given she hasn’t had those sort of immersive experiences, given the queer community isn’t supported or even protected in the Philippines. LGD opened up about being a victim of a hate crime in Nice and given the police did nothing about it, she opted to move to a bigger city, Paris, for safety. Because even when the law is with us, getting justice is really hard. Which feels that little bit more poignant to hear after the tragic murders in Sydney. Leading to Jonbers reminding the world at large that it is easier to love than it is to hate, as Hannah begged them all to never get complacent.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined on the panel by the iconic Kim Petras as the dolls stomped the Ruveal Yourself runway. Which LGD owned from the first moment, going from Miss France to Miss Piss. Choriza went from Marge Simpson to slutty Marge Simpson, complete with blue bush. Tia went from Ru to Ru to Ru and hot damn, she looked good. Marina gave a dramatic erupting volcano before revealing a lava gown and yes, it was another slay. Keta went from pantsuit to pantsuit, to a burning purple witch, Hannah gave pope to showgirl and yeah, it was fun, before Jonbers gave the full rainbow to pot of gold journey. Scarlet went from white coat to orange shimmering gown before Gothy slayed in a quilted pink, mod mini, before stripping down to show off the twins. Literally.

When it came to the Drag World commercials, Team Keta’s was an absolute mess, well, Keta, anyway. As Marina and Tia arrived to serve the task and had the judges giggling, despite the Keta confusion. Team LGD’s was far more cohesive, as the dolls played off each other, had a narrative and TBH, were delightful. Hannah in particular, who was demented, doing the most with the absolute lack of time she had to film. While Jonbers closed the ad with a fizzle, sadly. They saved the best for last, however, as Team Choriza were lucky to have Scarlet’s expertise, as they gave fun, leant into the show and to quote Law Roach, did, what needed, to be done. Each and every one of them.

Marina, Hannah and Choriza were sent to safety at the back of the stage before the judges praised everything Tia did this week. Particularly given she was the star of her ad, Alan finally gets her and she leans into her brand at all times. Keta on the other hand was praised for her runway, though read for being a mess in the challenge, despite the fact she lived for her own ideas. LGD was read for being too awkward in the challenge, which I would argue was the point, proving she is the best person on the cast. Thankfully, they also lived for her pissing pants reveal runway. Jonbers was read for being too confusing in the experience and for not having any jokes, though they lived for the runway. Scarlet received wall-to-wall praise for the immersive experience and for dragging her team through, despite them wishing the reveal was more of a reveal, though they agreed it was stunning. While Gothy finally got her roses for zigging when they expected her to zag in the experience, and for giving a fun look and presentation. Which again, they loved.

Tia and Scarlet were named the top two of the week before Gothy and LGD were sent to safety, leaving Keta and Jonbers up for elimination. Backstage the dolls grabbed their drinks and toasted Tia and Scarlet on their success, as they worried about having to send someone home. Keta was obviously gutted, while Jonbers continued to complain about not having enough time to shoot. LGD hilariously just told her that her material wasn’t great. Before it exploded, the tops took a bottom each, as Keta praised Scarlet for being so stunning and lovely, joking that villains should stick together. While Scarlet worried she should send home the bigger threat, which would be Keta. Jonbers, meanwhile, was crying as she asked Tia to save her because she desperately wants it. As Tia mentioned she just wants to compete against the best, whoever that is. The safe girls talked through what they would do, with everyone saying it is Keta’s time, except for LGD, given they were in a team.

The bottoms switched places as Keta charmed Tia, despite her gut telling her that she would always save Jonbers. Tia told us that while Keta was a dud leader, she did brand herself, which was the task, so to her, she wasn’t the worst. Scarlet meanwhile praised Jonbers for being a fashion queen and looking gorgeous, though it also sounded like she was praising her as a consolation prize. Tia and Scarlet selected their lipsticks and made their way back to the mainstage to do battle. To Kim Petras’ own, Future Starts Now. Both the dolls gave a very classic Drag Race lip sync performance, though it was clear Scarlet had a fire in her, so that by the time she air-kicked Tia, it was only fair she took out the win. Before promptly sending Jonbers out the door and back to Northern Ireland.

As Jonbers sadly arrived backstage, I probably shouldn’t have screamed out “JB in the house ya’ll” like I was at a football game. But I did. And after apologising for a couple of hours, Jonbers eventually forgave me and we were able to toast a fun little run. While she may have only lasted a few episodes, I assured her she still showed growth and honestly, going out a little robbed is still better than lasting long enough to become the villain. Which, TBH, happens to the best of us. Thankfully, that was all it took to get our friendship back on track and allow us to have a craic. Whilst also smashing a delicious batch of Salted Peanut Caramel Jonbars Blonde.

Part caramel slice, part snickers, this glorious little treat is oh, so decadent. Viciously sweet with a glorious earthy crunch of the salty peanuts, it is the perfect snack to dull any and all pain. Like going from the Top Four to the third out.

Enjoy!

Salted Peanut Caramel Jonbars Blonde
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
1 cup flour
1 cup muscovado sugar
½ cup desiccated coconut
185g butter, melted
395g sweetened condensed milk
¼ cup golden syrup
2 tbsp crunchy peanut butter
100g unsalted butter
1 cup salted roasted peanuts

Method
Preheat the oven to 180°C, and line a 3cm deep slice pan.

Pop the flour, half the muscovado sugar and coconut in a bowl and stir in 125g of melted butter, until well combined. Transfer the mixture into the pan, press into the pan to form and base and pop in the oven to bake for 15 minutes.

While that bakes, combine the remaining melted butter in a pan with the condensed milk, half the golden syrup and the peanut butter. Cook, stirring, over medium heat for 8 minutes, or until golden. Pour over the base when it is cooked, return to the oven and bake for a further 10 minutes. Remove from the oven and leave to rest.

Finally, while the filling sets, place the remaining sugar, golden syrup and unsalted butter in a pan over medium heat. Cook, stirring, for 5 minutes, or until the sugar has dissolved and it has started to thicken. Remove from the heat, stir in peanuts and pour over the base. Return to the oven and back for another 10 minutes, or until golden and cooked.

Remove from the oven and allow to cool completely before slicing. And then devouring, like an icon.


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Pumpkinna Bhudding

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the tribes came together, joyously forming the new and improved Tasi tribe. With seven OG Titans and seven OG Rebels, both sides were looking for any advantage. After Valeria jagged the first, winning safety without power and 60K, Kitty and Caroline thought things were coming together for them. Despite the fact Valeria and Mark were pushing really hard to get rid of them. Everyone locked in on the plan to get rid of Kitty, though Scott felt bad and let it slip, leading to absolute chaos at camp. At tribal council, Kitty fought hard to protect her game – though oddly also mentioned she is rich, for reasons – before Scott stopped things in their tracks, announcing that he is struggling with his mental health and left the game as everyone felt awful for their friend.

Back at camp the mood was obviously sombre, though not for the reasons you would think. Despite Scott laying his emotions bare for the tribe before he exited, Caroline sobbed in the dark, complaining about how she simply cannot sleep near Mark due to his continued betrayals, as Kitty had to take her away from the shelter to comfort her. They complained about how much of an arsehole Mark is for plotting against them, despite the fact they literally led the charge against him and his allies pre-merge. Multiple times. And it is the game they all signed up for.

The next day Caroline, Kitty and Eden caught up to talk about how lucky they were that Scott told them they were the target, and then quit. Kitty thankfully realised that fighting hard at tribal council was a bad idea, so approached Kirby to see what she was thinking now. Kirby went back to iconic queen era Kirby, pointing out she isn’t leading any conversations and as such, doesn’t know what to believe. Though given Kitty is intense about it, Kirby felt awkies. Caroline meanwhile was trying to keep Jaden on side, vowing to go to the end together. Kitty approached Mark to see if they intended to just keep gunning for each other, with him kinda just shrugging. Which, lol. Caroline and Kitty then went person to person to make friends, as Mark caught up with Eden to laugh about how much of a target they are putting on their backs by being so paranoid. Mark left to check in with Kirby and the Rebels, with her assuring him that they intended to get rid of Kitty last night. And given they trust the same people unreservedly, they can ride it to the end together.

The tribe joined Jonathan at the beach for the latest immunity challenge where they would have to hold onto a rope dangling over the water, while balancing on small knots. With the last one standing jagging immunity. Mark was the first to drop at the seven minute mark, allowing Kirby and Jaden to feel comfortable dropping out straight after. Alex almost slipped off, but the power of the speedo saved him, leaving him to make the 10 minute transition to the smaller ball. Which Feras just missed. Valeria also couldn’t make the transition and dropped, before the rain rolled in and made life difficult. After 15 minutes, Raymond dipped out, followed by Caroline and Winna, and out of nowhere, Kitty. At 20 minutes the remaining four made it to the tiny knot, well almost, as Eden slid off and Alex gave his dick rope-burn. With that, it was a battle between Aileen and Ri until the former gave up and handed Rianna immunity.

Back at camp Rianna was feeling her oats, no doubt thrilled to have safeguarded herself from her own bad decisions. She caught up with Kirby, with them agreeing to let both the Titans factions whittle down the numbers until they are ready to take control. While Ri was worried about turning on Kitty and Caroline, given they became close after the swap. Valeria and Mark pulled Kirby aside to confirm that they would still like to get rid of Kitty, so they just need to lock in as many people as possible. Caroline and Kitty were trying to loop in Jaden to get rid of Mark instead, before Caroline approached Ri to see if she would be willing to go against Kirby’s wishes. WIth her assuring both Caroline and Kitty that she will gladly vote with them to get rid of Mark. Making this three from three of Kirby’s allies that have voted against her.

Valeria caught up with Kitty to pretend that they aren’t targeting her, as Kitty assured her she doesn’t need to pretend as she knows. Val being Val, she circled back to Kirby and Mark to point out that since Kitty knows she is going, maybe they should get rid of Caroline instead. Which obviously delighted them, because blindside. Feras and Aileen then caught up with Mark who looped them in on the new plan. Sadly for Mark, though, he looped in Jaden, who seems likely to let Caroline know. Mark then caught up with Alex and Valeria, with Alex thrilled to once again be in on the plan. While Caroline was feeling straight up screwed, and worried how she would continue without her friend in the game.

Kitty and Caroline went back to Ri to lock in the fact they only have her and Eden. Thankfully they realised that is not a majority and as such, caught up with Feras to see if he, Aileen and Raymond would be interested in joining them to get rid of Winna instead. And damn, did this just get interesting? Because that is something I would love to see. Feras and Aileen caught up with Eden and Caroline, with they excitedly talking about confusing both Ri and Alex with decoy plays so that hopefully, six votes is all it takes to take control of the new tribe. Eden went back to Alex to lock in his decoy vote for Valeria. While Kirby and Ri caught up again, with Kirby asking if they can trust Kitty and Caroline, as Ri pointed out she trusts Kitty but not with Caroline around. Which was all Kirby needed to hear to convince her that they need to get rid of Caroline then, so they can work with Kitty to eliminate Valeria and Winna next.

While Caroline worried that her plan is destined to fail if even one person votes the wrong way.

At tribal council Mark spoke about being disappointed to plan a blindside the night before and have it blow up, though assured everyone he is glad Scott chose to look after himself. Feras admitted that the extra time is all it takes to make a new move, with Eden hoping tonight will draw a line in the sand. Rather than say, last night, which everyone knew about. He spoke about the chaos back at camp being like speed dating, as everyone plotted with everyone, as they all went round in circles. Which Caroline was hoping could help get her out of a tight spot. She shared that tonight’s vote is all about trust and that she hopes actions cement things for the next phase of the game, while Jaden was sure trust will be broken and that is it. Kitty meanwhile spoke about obviously being nervous, given she was the target, with Caroline wisely pointing out that everyone should be worried. While Winna pointed out that they should all just relax and instead, await the clarity of the vote. 

Valeria admitted that she will never trust someone again once they cross her. And that she will be voting out the weakest person in the tribe tonight, given they don’t even deserve to be here. Which is classic Valeria, no? With that the tribe voted and five votes piled up on Winna, five on Caroline, one on Mark and then one on Valeria, before Winna was gagged to find himself booted from the game. As he arrived at Loser Lodge, I had a quiet chuckle to myself about how hilarious it is to see someone blindsided when they are so confident in their place. Thankfully Winna is also an absolute delight so had a laugh at his demise and then got ready to do what he does best – eat! A massive batch of Pumpkinna Bhudding.

I wanted to test our eating champs prowess with one of the richest, sweetest puddings known to man. Sure, it isn’t Halloween, so it doesn’t exactly make much sense, but it was closer to the holiday during filming. And how can you say no to spiced, velvety pumpkin goodness?!

Enjoy!

Pumpkinna Bhudding
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
350ml evaporated milk 
1 ¾ cup pumpkin puree, canned is perfect
140g instant vanilla pudding 
1 tsp ground cinnamon 
¼ tsp ground nutmeg
½ cup whipped cream
2 cups chocolate ripple biscuits, crushed 
4 tbsp butter, melted 
8 milano cookies 
black food dye, for decoratin’

Method
In the bowl of a stand mixer, combine the evaporated milk, pumpkin puree and instant pudding, and whip for a couple of minutes, or until starting to thicken. Pop it in the fridge for 5 minutes, before removing and stirring in the cinnamon, nutmeg and whipped cream. Return to the fridge for a couple of hours, until set. 

While the pudding gets nice and chill, combine the chocolate ripple biscuits and butter to form a nice, wet dirt. Set aside.

Finally, brush the milanos with food dye.

To assemble, pop some of the biscuit on the base of a glass, top with pudding, finish with more biscuit and stab with a blackened biscuit grave. Before devouring.


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