Drag

Harissa Steaksie

Main, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race UK the dolls tried to masc it up and hock a new supplement, with Tomara’s filthiness jagging her a little win. A win that gave her the power to decide the trios who would each host disaster classes. Tomara wisely chose to work with Ginger and Michael, which led to the Geordie girls taking out their first wins of the season. At the other end of the pack Naomi was bland, while Banksie, Vicki and Cara just couldn’t get it together. That being said, Banksie was cute, despite her sisters hating her, so Cara rightly landed in the bottom with Naomi for being a total mess. Sadly for Miss Carter, however, Cara Cara’ed and demolished the lip sync and sent Naomi home. Thankfully with the best exit line ever.

Backstage the dolls were heartbroken to have lost Naomi, though grateful for the competition proceeding again given we’ve already had two non-elims. Banksie toasted her dear friend Naomi before Cara turned her attention to herself, reminding the dolls she is a force to be reckoned with and she was thrilled to prove it in the lip sync. Tomara got shady and asked Cara how it felt to land in the bottom, with her admitting it sucks but she still didn’t feel she was that bad. Ginger however, called bullshit and reminded her she sucked and that Ru agrees with her. And werk, Ginger, I love this confident, sassy side. Banksie meanwhile apologised for feuding with Vicki, with Vicki in turn apologising and ugh, I also love them all being so congenial. I guess.

The next day the Geordie’s were feeling their oats and I love to see it because I now have an epic crush on Ginger. Before Tomara could shoot charm all over the Werk Room, Ru dropped by to open the library because reading is what? Fundamental. Banksie was up first and eviscerated DeDe and slut shamed Vicki, DeDe was confident though not very fun, Michael was hilariously brutal – tinted windows on the incubator is a stunning read – Ginger slayed the house down with wordplay, Tomara had herself a ball, Vicki was horny, Cara was a total bomb before Kate was adorable, witty and oh so fun. Which was more than enough to finally jag her her first win, albeit a mini challenge.

Before departing, Ru announced that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would star in Panto-she-better-don’t: The Rusical. And since Kate won the mini challenge, she got to select her role while the rest of the dolls would have to get scrappy. The dolls grabbed their scripts and read through, living for the camp of it all. Kate jagged herself the lead of Twinkerbelle before Tomara grabbed Dick, Dame Muffin-Top went to DeDe, Vicki wanted the Milk Maid, Butterface went to Banksie before Cara and Ginger battled for Daisy the Cow before Ginger stepped aside. Well, until pointing out Cara and Tomara should share the pop diva roles, and as such, Ginger got her role and left Michael to take Dick off Tomara’s hands.

The dolls met up with Michelle Voice-age to get the songs down with Kate slaying, DeDe was an absolute mess but still, somehow, charming, while Banksie gave all the villain energy before Tomara had all the fun while Cara was there. And yeah, Tomara is winning this side by side. Michael and Vicki harmonised, eventually, before Ginger knocked it out of the park, while Cara sat on the sidelines simmering in jealousy. Michelle then traded out with Karen Hauer to work on the choreo before DeDe admitted to having never seen a musical, like an absolute fucking monster. Cara started to shine as she and Tomara killed all the moves, Banksie meanwhile was an absolute mess, Ginger served sex(y cow) and Michael and Vicki were even sexier. While Kate was living her best life.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone nervous as they split up to beat their mugs. Talk turned to pantos and how much they meant to the dolls, with Ginger opening up about how it was panto that made her want to be a drag queen. Banksie and Ginger meanwhile spoke about how they do drag storytime, with Ginger getting fired up about how hypocritical it is for people to support pantos but to not accept storytime, given it encourages openness and diversity and werk Ginger, you are an icon. She continued to earn my love, talking about how hard it is to work through the trauma of growing up in a closed world before Kate stepped in for a late-breaking win, saying she hates kids but would love to fight for the dolls’ ability to do storytime.

Ru, Michelle and Graham were joined on the panel by Cush Jumbo as the dolls debuted Panto-She-Better-Don’t: The Rusical. And it truly was glorious and camp. Kate was perfect as the demented fairy, Michael kept us fed, as Dick, DeDe, bless her, was having a lot of fun, Vicki was slutty and stupid in equal measure, Tomara and Cara were glorious as they served as divas while Ginger stole the show as the cow. She was camp, emotional and just glorious from start to finish, as she vamped all over the stage, before Banksie rocked out as she closed the show and um, they were all good?

Despite the runtime giving full Espana.

On the Mirror Mirror runway, Cara served sexy skank in Beyonce’s hand-me-downs, DeDe was on brand as a zombie Bloody Mary, Vicki gave blue-helmet biker, Banksie looked like a futuristic 80s supermodel, Tomara was perfection as a shiny robot, Kate was stunning in a foil blanket before revealing an 80s pop diva Phantom of the Opera, while Ginger gave, and I quote, Schiaparelli, holographic earthworm, while Michael gave mirror Mad Max and yeah, she is good. 

Cara and Tomara were deemed safe and sent to untuck before DeDe was read for being good, not great, despite her energy. And giving such a perfect runway. Ru pointed out that the panto was so good it would be splitting hairs tonight, with DeDe admitting she wished she had actually seen a panto before taking the role. Vicki was absolutely beloved in the performance, while Banksie was read for getting lost behind her nerves, when she really could have slayed. Kate was beloved for carrying the entire performance and they enjoyed her runway while Ginger received universal praise for each and every thing she gave this week, from chewing up the scenery and giving a stunning look that made the judges laugh so hard. While Michael was beloved, though sadly for her, just that little bit less than Ginger.

Backstage Carmara were disappointed to only be safe, regretting handed over their first choices to the other girls. Particularly when the tops and bottoms joined them and Ginger and Michael were clearly battling for the win. Banksie and DeDe were clear they would be lip syncing tonight, though got great critiques, so it kinda, sorta sucks. And while they all did great, Tomara admitted that if they have to have bottoms, it was definitely them. Vicki spoke about the win being between herself and Michael, while Kate and Ginger looked on quietly. Before sharing how beloved they were by the judges.

Ultimately Kate was deemed safe, as were Vicki and Michael as Ginger took out her second win of the season. Which she capped off with a thumbs up reveal from her iconic, armless gown. Leaving DeDe and Banksie to battle out for the last slot to SuBo’s I Dreamed a Dream. And hot damn, DeDe absolutely demolished, hitting every lyric and burning with drama, complete with air strings section. While Banksie tried her best giving an understated performance, DeDe felt it all and played it for the back of the theatre and the cheque cashing place down the street. So while we expected her to exit, she stole the final slot out from Banksie who gagged us by exiting so soon.

She followed the sound of my heaving, guttural sobs all the way back to the Werk Room where she pulled me in for a hug and assured me she was fine. I then realised that was my job, so started yelling at her before I realised what I was doing. I then took a deep breath and just told her how sad I was to see her go so soon, though I look forward to her rudemption arc on All Stars because she will get that rudemption, trust. And until then, she will always have a piping hot Harissa Steaksie.

Even if you’re not a massive steak fan, like me, this Antoni number will swiftly make you a believer. Spicy, sweet and melt in your mouth, the harissa cuts through the perfectly cooked steak – which I guess is on you – to make any meal a winner.

Enjoy!

Harissa Steaksie
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
90g unsalted butter, at room temperature
2 tsp Harissa Oleynik
¼ tsp lemon zest
⅛ tsp kosher salt, plus extra for seasoning
2 x 300g sirloin steaks
freshly ground black pepper
2 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil

Method
Pop the butter, harissa, zest and salt in a bowl and stir until well combined.

Season the steaks with salt and pepper, and heat the oil in a heavy based skillet over medium-high heat.

Add the steaks to the pain and cook for five minutes before flipping and cooking for a further five minutes, or until cooked to your required doneness.

Remove from the pan and allow it to rest for five minutes. Slice and top with butter before serving and devouring. Gloriously.


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Missionfruit Naomeringue Cartouign-amann

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, Snack, Sweets

Previously on Drag Race UK the dolls were gagged to have a week one reprieve from eliminations. Sadly for them, there was no such safety net when it came to using pet supplies to pull together a gown. Edward Enninful and dog Ru dropped by to kiki with the dolls which led to an epic fight between besties and flatmates, Cara and Tomara. And while they managed to squash the beef, it feels like they are here to keep us fed. Banksie slayed the runway from start to finish and took out her first win. While at the other end of the pack Naomi was a mess and Alexis made questionable choices, leading to the latter being defeated by the northern queen and sent out as the Gothy of the season.

Backstage the dolls toasted their fallen sister Alexis, with everyone wishing she could see the star that she is, because if she had just a little more confidence, she could have stayed. They sat down to kiki, congratulating Banksie on a job well done with her becoming a monster, ready to win any and all challenges. DeDe meanwhile was just thrilled to get some positive critiques, as did Tomara who was shocked to land in the top thanks to hot glue and a prayer. Talk turned to Cara and Tomara’s fight and how Ru even brought it up on the runway, with Cara admitting she is now chill and just needed to get it out. And while Vicki and Banksie tried to keep the drama alive, the housemates kept things chill as they assured everyone they may fight, but that is family.

The next day the odd framing miraculously ended as we got to enjoy full group shots as the sisters spoke about their excitement for the week ahead. Naomi meanwhile opened up about how a tit-bang went wrong and she now has knee troubles. Like many a queen before her. Ru dropped by before she could go the way of Victoria, Eureka and Silky to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge, they’d be forming girl groups. And rocking their new singles – Don’t Ick My Yum – on the mainstage. Oh and the dolls had the power to select their own groups, meaning Cara, Tomara, DeDe, Michael and Vicki ran to each other, leaving Kate, Ginger, Banksie and Naomi as the leftovers. Despite feeling a little unwanted, Ginger joked that they give brunch. And werk, I live.

The bands split up to work through their lyrics with the popular dolls feeling very confident, while Michael warned them that underdogs and funny people are something Ru loves and they need to not lose sight of things. While the other dolls were excited to lean into the comedy and for Kate, read the other band for filth since they’re made up of only icks. Apparently. The popular dolls then named themselves Fierce Force Five, while the northern gals named themselves the M-52s in honour of the highway north. And rock lobsters, obviously.

Fierce Force Five were first up to record with the voice – Ru’s words – Michelle Visage and TBH, they were all very good. As were their demented icks, though who would have guessed DeDe would be the relatable icon that hates loud chewers on account of her being a loud chewer. Even Cara, who was struggling through her second puberty, but please, she is all energy and we know she will slay. They traded out with the M-52s, with the dolls just having so much fun. Full of jokes and um, which one is the fake out edit because they all seem good?

They reset the mainstage as the dolls got to work on their choreography with Cara taking the lead and making it dead serious as they hit every line and lived their girl group fantasy.  And she ruled with an iron fist and while there was almost a full blown fight, Tomara assured Cara that she will get the moves down and that Cara just needs to calm down. Meanwhile the M-52s realised how much pain Naomi’s knee was in, with the dolls trying to figure out a way to help her out. Despite not feeling confident, Banksie took the lead as Cara kindly offered advice from the wings while the rest of her team begged her to keep quiet.

Elimination Day arrived with Fierce Force Five full to the brim with confidence, while the M-52s were clearly nervous. Given they were already struggling before Naomi had to pop herself on a couch as she couldn’t stand on her knee. Talk turned to the pop icon runway with everyone excited to pay homage to the musicians that made them feel good about themselves as young queer people. Cara meanwhile opened up about realising she was trans and how Nicole Schwerzinger was a beacon of hope for her growing up and who she aspired to be. She then gave an impassioned speech about education and the importance of visibility and knowledge, and how different her journey could have been if it was available and ugh, crown her now as she is an icon.

Ru, Michelle and Graham were joined on the panel by Queen Sophie Ellis-Bextor as Fierce Force Five debuted their version of Don’t Ick My Yum and yeah, they were good. Everyone had energy and hit every damn lyric, but it was clearly Cara and Tomara’s show as they gave sultry songstresses, complete with a powerful message for the latter. Backstage the other dolls were proud of their rivals, though clearly nervous about landing in the bottom. That being said, The M52s slayed and TBH, the use of the couch was iconic. I mean, Ginger played Naomi’s foot as a saxophone, damn it. Plus, they were legit good and leant into the fact they couldn’t exactly dance and that is something I admire.

On the Night of 1000 Pop Icons runway, Vicki was a star as Freddie Mercury, serving sex and camp in equal measure. DeDe was an icon as my dear friend Nicki Minaj – she was funny, too – Cara was perfection as Beyonce at Coachella, Tomara was so damn sexy in honour of Elvis – by way of Demi, according to Ru – while Michael was just so good as a frankensteined version of the Spice Girls. Banksie was glorious as Bowie – and oh so perfectly self-cast – Naomi slayed as Lemonade Beyonce, Ginger was a camp showgirl in honour of Elts before Kate closed the show in honour of Shania Twain. And let’s just say, that does impress me much.

The M52s were deemed safe and sent to untuck before Ru congratulated the Fierce Force Five. They were then gagged to learn that despite the win, only one of them will snatch a badge and it would be decided by a lip sync between the top two. Vicki received praise for her stunning vocals and bringing pasties to music. And they loved the glam of the outfit. DeDe meanwhile was praised for being so much fun through the performance and on the runway, for giving the Baby Spice of the group. Cara rightly received wall to wall praise for carrying the dolls through the performance and being, well, the Beyonce of the group. Tomara too was beloved, for giving slutty and sass on stage, though was read for not dragging it up enough on the runway. They lived for everything Michael did, though cautioned her to put down the glitter. Though they did love her demented take on the Spice Girls.

Backstage the safe girls were shocked and excited to be safe, speculating whether the other group had won or whether they were a combination of tops and bottoms. After they came together, DeDe shared how thrilled she was to be in the top again, as the rest of the dolls wanted her to focus on someone else. The top dolls spoke about how disappointed they were not to be able to share the win like Girl Groups of seasons past. Talk turned to The M52s with everyone praising the couch-ridden Naomi before talk turned to how shady Banksie is. 

Ultimately Cara and Tomara were deemed the best of the week, battling it out for victory to Becky Hill and David Guetta’s Remember – aka a bop from my pilates classes, FYI. And damn, it was easy to see why they were the top two divas, continuing their epic run and turning a show. Though rightly, victory went to Cara who was dripping joy and talent all over the stage and again, ugh, she is a star and I stan.

Backstage Cara and Tomara were feeling all of their oats, though DeDe was growing just a wee bit sick of the non-eliminations. To which I say, preach, but knowing the circumstances, I’m ok. Vicki led the dolls in congratulating Cara on victory as DeDe spoke about how close she has come to winning multiple times. Tomara meanwhile asked if anyone felt like they were coasting, with everyone looking directly at Kate Butch and while she assured us she wasn’t pressed. She was. Though I do agree that it is better to coast than be stuck on the rollercoaster like some of the other dolls. Like say, Tomara and Cara.

The next day the dolls were energised and thriving, with Michael focused and ready to finally get her win. Before Banksie could knock any of the dolls down a peg, Ru arrived to put the dolls through their paces in a mini challenge to become the face of new nut-based yoghurt S.P.N.K. And the icon herself, Raven, would be taking the photos. Maybe. The dolls got into quick drag before Michael slayed with smut, Naomi was ratchet, DeDe lost her wig – again – while Ginger was demented. And glorious. Kate was a rabid grot, Cara got physical, Tomara was packing while Banksie was adorably hilarious and Vicki showed hole. Almost. So that is a win to me.

Despite that, it was Tomara who took out the win, which allowed her to pick teams for this week’s maxi challenge where they would be hosting RuPaul Disasterclasses. Wisely, she grabbed Michael and Ginger for herself, then grouped Naomi, DeDe and Kate together, leaving Banksie, Vicki and Cara as the third group. Michael and Co were talking Party, Naomi and Co would tackle Werk while Banksie’s babes would advise on Love.

The dolls split up to talk through the plan with Michael oozing charm and confidence, with Tomara admitting she knew Ginger and Michael were her best shot at the win. And TBH, she doesn’t care about how the other dolls go. Vicki meanwhile pointed out they were team winners, before Vicki spoke about meeting her partner on the apps and Banksie opened up about her partner who is a trans woman. And while they didn’t appear to have much cohesion, Vicki felt she needed to focus on not controlling and as such, stayed silent. Kate meanwhile was trying to help her girls find their confidence and knock it out of the park.

Ru dropped by to check-in with her daughters with Team Party explaining that they will teach bringing the north-east spirit to wherever you are in the world. Team Love were congenial AF, feeling comfortable talking about their own lives and encouraging people to define themselves. Though Ru was concerned they would struggle to find the jokes. Ru meanwhile learnt Yorkshire slang as the dolls spoke Werk, though Kate was the one doing the learning, as Ru questioned her drinking habits. After Ru departed the teams were confident in their ability to be funny, except maybe Cara. Tomara meanwhile checked if the dolls were happy with the teams, before admitting she chose her team because she isn’t dumb.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone splitting up to beat their mugs as Banksie and Vicki bonded over their relationships, with the former beautifully sharing how her understanding of sexuality changed as part of the process of her girlfriend’s own coming out process.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by Suranne Jones on the panel as Team Werk took the stage and while DeDe dripped charm, Naomi was a little eaten up by nerves – the rambling – and forgot her jokes, while Kate, obviously, was light and fun, keeping things moving and ugh, she was good. Team Party meanwhile were all perfect all the time, dropping genuine pearls of wisdom amongst the wall to wall jokes. Making fun of themselves and having the time of their lives. While Team Love were a bit of a bomb, despite all of them desperately trying to bring the energy. Vicki, however, did have some solid jokes and that should count for something. That is until she couldn’t even tell her sisters apart.

When it came to the Slaycation runway, DeDe gave demented dame in the American south. Kate served scuba chic, Naomi gave ski Barbie realness, Tomara gave snow skank in all the right ways while Michael was a work of art on the beach.  Ginger gave intergalactic traveller, Vicki was a camp cowgirl, Cara gave sexy Storm before Bakisie closed the show giving fur and animal print and ugh, it was wild. And stunning.

Tomara, Ginger and Michael were deemed the winners before they were sent to untuck. DeDe was praised for being solid in the challenge and looking stunning on the runway. And for trying to soften her make-up. Kate rightly was beloved for being a stunning host and bringing all the jokes in the challenge. And for thinking outside the box on the runway, despite it being a little boring. And the blonde being a mess. While Naomi was read for lacking all the jokes and bringing no funny in the challenge, though they loved her runway. Vicki meanwhile was praised for the energy in the challenge and the runway, before throwing her sisters under the bus. Particularly Banksie, given she hated the moderation. Cara meanwhile was praised for almost being funny, though read for giving nothing of herself. Though her runway was beloved. Banksie on the other hand was deemed the highlight of the team and praised for her look.

Oh and she was not happy with the other dolls for throwing her under the bus. Opening up to Ru about the fact she made two mistakes, reclaiming the shade and making the others looki petty. And oh so pressed.

Backstage the dolls were thrilled to jag their badges however they couldn’t even talk shit before the bottoms joined them. DeDe quickly admitted she was safe, as was Kate while Naomi was prepared to be in the bottom. Cara meanwhile spoke about feeling disappointed before Vicki tried to school Banksie about throwing her under the bus, for throwing her under the bus and well, it was glorious. The duo then went in on Banksie and while Cara felt she was not worse than Banksie, the latter was fed up and stormed out. Cara then tried to explain to the other girls, with Kate wisely pointing out Cara is being a dick. And well, it was wonderful.

Ultimately DeDe and Kate were sent to safety as Naomi landed in the bottom two. Ru then sent Vicki and Banksie to join the safe girls, leaving Cara to battle Naomi. And prove that Cara truly was worse than Banksie. Despite what she felt. As soon as Yazz’s The Only Way Is Up kicked off, however, it was clear that the panel was going to be Cara’s only stumble this week as she knocked it out of the park, giving camp comedy, every lyric and even air drum. And while Naomi held her own despite her knee injury, there was no eliminating Cara as Naomi found herself exiting the competition. Before uttering the greatest exit line of all time – see you in a bit, dogshit, indeed.

As she arrived backstage, I scooped her up in my arms and gave her a massive hug to thank her for being such a sweet icon. I carried her over to the couch to avoid ruining her good knee before explaining that while usually the first boots are the only ones we remember, after so many non-eliminations this season, she will always be remembered. Plus, her voice is so beautiful that she has won hearts all over the world. And that, my friends, is all it takes to earn a Missionfruit Naomeringue Cartouign-amann.

This glorious little pastry may be a lot of work, but TBH, the feeling of satisfaction of knowing you pulled it off is half as good as the taste. And the taste is simply glorious. Flaky and melt in the mouth, with a velvety meringue and a tart kick of passionfruit, it is perfect.

Enjoy!

Missionfruit Naomeringue Cartouign-amann
Serves: 12.

Ingredients
1 recipe David Croissant
2 cup raw caster sugar
1 tbsp kosher salt
4 egg whites
pinch of cream of tartar
3-4 passionfruit

Method
Prepare the pastry as per David’s recipe, all the way up to the final shaping, at which point switch out to this one.

Preheat the oven to 190C.

Sprinkle raw caster sugar over the bench and top with the pastry. Rotate 90 degrees and sprinkle with more sugar. Fold in half, roll flat, sprinkle with sugar and fold again. Sprinkle more sugar and roll the dough out to be half a centimetre thickness. Cut the dough into 8cm squares and, you guessed it, sprinkle it with more sugar.

Grease a 12-hole texas muffin pan with butter and sprinkle with 1 teaspoon of salt and a pinch of salt to coat. Press each square into the muffin holes and pinch the corners to meet in the centre. Leave to stand for 15 minutes before popping in the oven to bake for 30 minus, or until golden and crisp.

Remove the pastries from the pan and transfer to a wire rack, upside down, for 15 minutes to let the sugar set.

Meanwhile combine 200g of sugar and 200ml water in a small saucepan and bring to the boil, stirring continuously with a wooden spoon until the sugar dissolves. Reduce heat to medium and brush down sides of pan to remove sugar crystals. Leave to boil undisturbed until it reaches 115C.

Start whisking the egg whites and cream of tartar in a stand mixer on medium, until soft peaks form. Once the syrup hits 121C, increase the speed of the stand mixer to high and still running, slowly pour the syrup into the meringue. Reduce to medium and cook until cooled to room temperature and the meringue is thick and glossy. About 15 minutes or so.

Pipe the meringue into the centre of the pastries, top with some passionfruit pulp and leave to rest for about half an hour to set. Then, finally, devour.


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Alexis Saint-Peteloaf

Main, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race UK, Ru, Michelle and Co. had themselves a true battle royale as both Cheddar Gorgeous and Danny Beard dominated the season. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Twelve of the brightest stars across the UK assembled to compete for the crown, where we had the joy of experiencing such iconic moments as Sminty’s sad twerk, the formation of wonder duo Black Peppa and White Salt, and had the joy of having JB in the house, ya’ll. But as I mentioned, it was Cheddar and Danny who emerged the star, with once again Ru opting for the funnier queen in Danny, leaving our cerebral cheese as the runner-up.

First to arrive for this season, however, is Tomara Thomas, serving chav Bond girl and TBH, I live for everything about her. She is hilarious, smutty and iconic. Instantly. Banksie finally arrived, serving naked, glam, hooker and you know they’re going to be fun. Oh and they are Cheddar’s doll? So, sign me up for my stan card. Next through the door was Miss Naomi Carter and she serves energy and silliness, and I live. Though maybe I am just like Ru, because her accent is stunning. Michael Marouli arrived serving the love child of Morgan McMichaels and The Viv, so I live for her. Though may hate, and then love her again later. Next to arrive was Kate Butch and between the name and her nerdy look out of drag, my basement flooded.

Cara Melle stomped in all the way from Atlanta, Georgia and I love her energy. And the fact she is flatmates with Tomara? Stunning. Ginger Johnson arrived fresh from the not-so-fresh blocking of the toilet, serving all the old ladies she was around growing up. And like many of the sisters, she is from the north, so is ready to vie to be Ru’s favorite for nothing but her accent. DeDeLicious was up next giving glam and when we found out she is Krystal’s sister, it is not exactly a surprise. Vicki Vivacious arrived serving, and I quote, Cornish Joan Collins and well, I love it as much as I love her pastie. Rounding out the cast is the iconique Alexis Saint-Pete, giving sex doll realness and ugh, she is going to be so much fun and I live for everything about her.

Ru dropped by to welcome her newest daughters to the race, thankfully by wheeling out the Brit Crew. And announcing that their first Maxi Challenge, would be a little ball. With the first category being what they are wearing now. The second category would be Club Tickety Boo, judged by international tastemakers. Aka sisters from across the globe. And they would only have an hour to get dressed. Pangina, Lady Camden, Nicky Doll, Silky, Blu, Sminty and Jimbo took their places alongside the judges as the new dolls arrived ready to stomp the Club Tickety Boo runway.

Tomara high kicked and split, giving warrior stripper and well, I love it all. Banksie gave trash realness and I love her, despite Sminty feeling like she didn’t use the runway. Silky lived for Naomi, Michael Marouli looked like a Vegas half-time show and you know she will let you have a sip of her wine, if you want. Kate Butch tapped her way into their hearts, Ginger looked like an aunty dressed like a lolly at the wedding while Cara Melle ate them all up. DeDe was silly and slayed … so hard, her wig came off. While Vicki was an icon, like the love child of Bianca Del Rio and the doll from Saw, according to Nicky. While Alexis gave sexy stripper, almost falling off the stage in the process. 

The dolls made their way backstage to dedrag with DeDe already spiralling over the fact she lost her wig, though trust, she was not going to be playing the victim and will hope her looks are enough to keep her safe. Cara and Banksie caught up, with the latter grateful to have no fuck ups, though admitted she was still worried she didn’t give enough. Cara opened up about trying to get on the show six times, though was grateful it is now when she had come out and live her truth as a trans woman.

Elimination Day arrived, with Ginger feeling the pressure of the competition, worried she didn’t do enough on day one, considering they have been judged from the moment they walked in. Michael and Vicki meanwhile were bonding over their friendship of 15 years, and hearing Michael talk about how hard she has worked and the adversity she has faced and how much getting here means to her was just, well, beautiful. DeDe meanwhile was terrified of landing in the bottom and going home first, though was confident she would be able to beat whoever lands in the bottom with her. Particularly Alexis, who she felt had the most stumbles other than her.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by the icon herself, Kristen McMeaneny, as the dolls opened the Fierce Impressions Eleganza Extravaganza runway. Michael Marouli was an iridescent delight in spiked pants and hips for days and well, it was good. Alexis meanwhile gave Polish queen, but make it slutty and well, it was just lovely. Ginger gave glam hippy on the way to the BBQ, DeDe gave baby Shannel coming out of a feathered vagina, Cara was stunning giving golden Aaliyah before Banksie stole the show in a hand painted graffiti gown, homemade in Manschester. While Vicky served slutty British Guard and was absolutely perfect. Kate rolled around stage in curtains, in a good way, while Naomi slayed serving Diana Ross and let’s just say, everything was perfect. While Tomara served sexy angel, despite the fact her wings opened unevenly.

DeDe, Banksie, Kate, Naomi and Tomara were sent to safety before the rest of the dolls were announced as the top queens of the week. Because trust and believe, nobody is going home tonight, instead, the top two will lip sync for the win. The judges lived for all that Michael Marouli served, specifically her energy. Alexis’ final look was beloved, despite the fact all of her looks were kinda the same. Ginger’ Club Tickety Boo moment was read, though given she slayed the final look and made everything she packed – bar one – I love it and so do the judges. Cara meanwhile received wall to wall praise for each and every moment this week. As did Vicki, who gave silly, charm and glamour and did it all perfectly. 

Backstage Kate is just thrilled to be safe, as was DeDe who was all but ready to lip sync. The dolls spoke about not being sure who the bottoms would be, assuming it must be Alexis, Vicki and Ginger. The tops arrived and played a bit shady, asking who they felt were in the bottom before gagging them with the fact no one would be going home. Talk turned to who would be lip syncing if there was a bottom, with everyone agreeing on DeDe and arbitrarily guessing Tomara for the wings. Alexis started to spiral about the fact everyone felt she would be in the bottom, which annoyed Ginger, who stepped in to point out how much the judges loved her. And well, I love it.

Ultimately Ginger was sent to safety as were Alexis and Michael, leaving Vicki and Cara to lip sync for the win. To Ooh Aah … Just a Little Bit by Gina G and well, given Cara was in a floor length gown, it was always going to give an unfair advantage to Vicki. Who stomped the floor and took out the first win of the season.

Backstage the dolls were gagged to have made it through the first week and move on as a complete set. Everyone congratulated Vicki on her win, except for Cara who was disappointed to have been pipped at the post. Everyone speculated what the next challenge could be, leading to some shade about Dee coming for Alexis. But none of that really matters, since nobody went home and well, now, the real games begin.

The next day the dolls lined up around the table to kiki about week one, as everyone adired Vicki’s badge. And promptly reminded her the only way to go now, is down. DeDe meanwhile apologised to Alexis for accidentally getting in her head, with Alexis kindly admitting she knew she wasn’t trying to hurt her but trust, she is confident again this week.

Ru dropped by to chat to her new daughters before wheeling out the Brit Crew for a wee mini challenge where they would have to play a game of shady, catty pass the parcel. Banksie was deemed funniest, Cara deemed the most likely to start a fight, Tomara named trade, DeDe was named sloppiest before Tomara took out victory. Of a chew toy, and the ability to choose one item to use in this week’s maxi challenge before the rest of the dolls. Speaking of the challenge, they would be pulling together a look using pet supplies. And it wasn’t just Tomara who could get a pre-selection, she got to take a friend, opting for DeDe. In the hope that she would help with sewing, should she run into issues.

After everyone looted the supplies, Tomara told DeDe she was expecting a hand, while DeDe was living in her confidence, given she made four of Krystal’s best gowns. Banksie meanwhile was inspired by Moschino, Michael was planning to sell iridescent glamour, Alexis was spiralling and Ginger was zen. Naomi too was rather confident, as was Cara – and then some – given she went to fashion school.

Ru made his return alongside THE Edward Enninful alongside the iconic Ru, his sweet Boston Terrier who was just napping on the table like an icon. Banksie shared she was planning to serve dancer, however Ru wanted her to give something fresh and new. Kate on the other hand was collaging animal furs. Banksie had moved her inspo to acid Chanel, Michael was planning to go Grace Jones with a big old train and DeDe was going sexy-dom. Ginger was going OTT with animal print, while Noami was distracted by doo rag and oranges. Tomara meanwhile was worried about her lack of skills, while Cara was throwing down her skills, though we know that runs the risk of setting the judges expectations sky high.

Oh and then Ru set her and Tomara bickering as Tomara tried to explain that she selected DeDe as she can sew, despite the fact Cara is right there.

After the trio departed, Alexis opted to change her plans and make a gown while Vicki was essentially ready to stomp the runway as she powered ahead. Cara meanwhile was well and truly in her feels, heartbroken about the fact Tomara said she had never seen anything she has sewed over the years . And then things got super heated, which made everyone both awkward and want to grab some popcorn.

Elimination Day arrived with the energy a mix of anxiety and chaos as they tried to put some finishing touches on her look. Alexis turned her attention to storytelling, ready to charm and distract her way to a victory. Michael was going Disgrace Jones, while Vicki was going OTT Barbie though was really fighting for congeniality, as she assured Banksie and Michael she’d be happy for them to win. Naomi and Cara were busy spiralling as time started to hurt their finished products. Ginger meanwhile was hopeful to avoid the bottom, while DeDe was confident she would be getting redemption as Tomara was ready to sell her bag of shit. 

Ru, Michelle and Graham were joined by Yasmin Finney as Kate Butch opened the runway, serving slutty cat lady in all the right ways. Banksie rocked handkerchiefs in the most stunning gown possible, Cara was solid, despite not being fully feathered before Ginger gave old Jem on the way home from the races, Bankies was caught in a net and oh so camp while Naomi’s outfit was just a net but damn she is charming and TBH, sometimes, that is enough. DeDe served rich old lady out walking the dog, Tomara gave glamour showgirl, Michael served full psychic diva while Vicki’s Malibu Barbie look was absolutely stunning.

Kate, Ginger, Michael and Vicki were sent to safety before Banksie was praised for a stunning concept and even better execution. The top of Cara’s dress was beloved, though not finishing the bottom was a fail. Alexis’ performance was beloved though the execution of the dress was deemed a mess. Speaking of messes, Naomi’s dress was read as fugly, though given she also hates it, it doesn’t really matter. DeDe received wall to wall praise, earning her rudemption, before Tomara got all the love for turning such a glorious outfit. Thought Michelle would like her to cover her arse just once on the runway.

Backstage the dolls admitted they felt they all could have been in the top. Before the disappointment could kick in, the tops and bottoms joined them, and shared Dede, Tomara and Banksie are in the top. With DeDe vibrating at the possibility of winning, though shared she thinks it would ultimately go to Banksie. Who said the same about DeDe. Alexis and Naomi meanwhile were disappointed to be clearly lip syncing, though Naomi had to admit she deserved it. And honestly sold it. While Cara broke down over letting herself down.

Ultimately Tomara and DeDe were deemed safe as Banksie took out her first victory before Noami was sent to direct to the bottom two alongside Alexis. As Cara joined the safe girls at the back of the stage. As Hot in It by Tiësto and Charli XCX kicked off, it was clear that neither doll wanted to become the Gothy Kendoll of the season, however Naomi went from strength to strength as she charmed the judges. Poor Alexis tried to take off her shoes – and failed – and strip down. Sadly though, it wasn’t enough as Naomi lived to see another day and sweet Alexis was sent packing.

As Alexis arrived backstage, I pulled her in for an epic hug and reminded her that if you can’t be first, it is better to be the worst (placing queen) as you will always be memorable. And given how much of an icon she is, she also gets the benefit of being viewed as a robbed goddess. Which does wonders for one’s career. After that epic peptalk, we kikied about the good old days – I spent my 20s in Poland, as I was on the prowl for pole and got confused – before toasting her ongoing success with a warming Alexis Saint-Peteloaf.

This Swedish meatball inspired loaf is melt in the mouth majesty. Delicately flavoured with a nice whack of herb, it is the perfect Sunday dinner to warm the soul, fight off Sunday scaries and dull the pain of becoming first boot. That is its power.

Enjoy!

Alexis Saint-Peteloaf
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 cup breadcrumbs
½ cup milk
10 rashers streaky bacon
500g pork mince
500g beef mince
25g cold butter, grated
1 onion, diced
6 garlic cloves, minced
2 tbsp parsley, roughly chopped
2 tbsp dill, roughly chopped
½ tsp ground nutmeg
¼ tsp ground allspice
2 eggs
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Heat the oven to 180C.

Combine the breadcrumbs and milk in a large bowl and leave for a minute or so, or until the milk has all been absorbed. Roughly chop two of the bacon rashers and add to the bowl along with the minces, grated butter, onion, garlic, parsley, dill, nutmeg, allspice, egg and a good whack of salt and pepper. Gently scrunch together with your hand until just combined.

Line a baking sheet and transfer the mixture to the centre, forming into a large loaf. Lay the remaining bacon over the top, tucking in on either side to secure. Transfer to the oven and bake for 90 minutes, or until golden and crisp.

Remove from the oven and allow to rest before serving with some piping hot mash, and devouring.


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Rule Britannia, innit?

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, TV, TV Recap

You alright babes? Well, you should be now, as RuPaul’s Drag Race UK is back and TBH, I would argue it is the best version of the franchise.

Sure, some of the judging is weird, but isn’t that always the case? And what it oft lacks in fairness – #Justice4Bimini and #Justice4Ella – it makes up for in camp, stupid fun. Dunnit?

Once again Ru and Michelle asked me to swing by the mother country – or is it father, now that Chucks is in charge? – to provide culinary comfort for their newest girls. You know, tea, sympathy and all that.

Who will follow in the footsteps of Danny Beard and join the UK winner’s circle? Who will Ru love for their accent alone? And most importantly, who will be joining me as the latest member of the Gothy Kendoll Club? You’ll have to check back next week!

Or, you know, watch the episode.

📷: BBC Three / World of Wonder.


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Hollymajoun Star

Main, Pizza, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 3, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under the dolls competed in a Drag Brunch Talent Show, which almost felt like the producers had another episode planned which got asked at the last minute and the two challenges were combined. But I digress. Flor was iconic from start to finish as she did a sexy CPR tutorial, Hollywould sang, Bumpa had no jokes, Gabriella was wacky with nothing but hula hoops while Isis was emotive and beautiful. And far and away won the challenge. At the other end of the pack, Hollywould was cautioned to open up before rightly being sent to safety, leaving Italy’s own Gabriella to tragically send Aunt Bumpa home.

Backstage Gabriella was feeling it after the lip sync, glad to have survived though heartbroken she took Bumpa’s chance in the process. The dolls thankfully praised Bumpa for being a damn icon before heading over to the couches to sit down and have a kiki. Isis was thrilled to jag her second win before speculating just who would be the one to miss out on a spot in the finale, telling Flor she is most likely to go given she is winless. While Hollywould speculated to us that it would be more likely Gabriella was going home, given Flor is at least consistent. 

The next day the doll’s were overjoyed to have made it to the top four, though Flor in particular was still just desperate to jag a win. They spoke about whether they had predicted that this would be the top four when they arrived, with Hollywould scalping Gabriella by saying she expected everyone but her to get to the end. Talk turned to Hollywould and Ru’s interaction on the mainstage with Flor, who speaks English as a second language, once again explaining that Ru meant she just wanted her to open up to the judges like she does to them, given she is so charming and lovely backstage.

Right on cue Ru dropped by and immediately warmed my cold heart by wheeling out four dogs and their owners. Who would become the newest members of the dolls’ drag families. Humans and dogs. As the winner of the previous challenge, Isis was able to pair everyone up, so jagged the skinny girl for herself, Gabriella got the zaddy, Hollywould got the alternative doll while Flor got the sweet, shorter lady.

The dolls pulled their human and dog aside for a get to know you session, with Isis’ dog instantly bonding with her while we learnt her human was queer. So yeah, slay. Arlene, doggy Ru and Hollywould were vibing hard, talking about the heaviness of mental health and how the love of dogs can help and ugh, I am in tears already. Flor meanwhile wasn’t winning over Burrito, while she and Grace did become the fastest of friends. Gabriella’s human meanwhile can sit on my face, though he and Billy are also icons and I only want good things for them.

Oh and then Gabriella wisely shared that her cat pissed in her drag bag once, which adds nothing, but is very important to me.

Ru made her ruturn to kiki with Hollywould and Arlene looking on as Ru and dog-Ru just vibed like the bestest of friends. Oh and then Ru confronted Hollywould about lying about her age which was honestly, iconic. Taina opened up about how much her brother loved drag growing up, before Isis gushed about how comfortable she was becoming in the race. Flor, Grace and Burrito meanwhile were charming and had Ru in absolute hysterics and ugh, I love it. Aaron, meanwhile, had Ru dripping, which, relatable. Before she challenged Gabriella to show more facets of herself and just feel everything, rather than overthinking things. 

After Ru left, Gabriella smartly focused on slutting Aaron up while Isis and Taina were having D&Ms about life and becoming the firmest friends and well, they are winning the challenge, right?

Flor, Grace and Burrito were first up to rehearse on the mainstage and while Flor was desperate to form a bond with Burrito for the gags, she was having none of it and TBH, I love it. Isis, Taina and Blue meanwhile were absolutely iconic before Hollywould and Dog Ru were energetic and iconic. The latter potentially a little too much. While Gabriella was focused on getting Billy off lead, like a seasoned performer.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls kiking about how tired they are after staying up all night getting things ready. The dogs and their humans returned with Aaron unveiling her lack of moustache, arm and chest hair. They split up to get prepped with Isis and Taina giggling, Flor trying to get Grace in the zone while Gabriella was opening up to Aaron about her lack of confidence in her body and that she wants to leverage his sexiness to help her serve something different. Because dammit, Gabriella knows she is worth it and ready to do the thing, Angela Bassett style. Flor and Grace meanwhile were bonding over their husbands and ugh, give them the win too as I love it all.

Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined on the panel by zaddy Josh Cavallo as the Haus of Hollywould kicked off The Drag Family Resemblance: Doggy Style runway serving old Hollywood glamour, flowing in beads and satin. Ivis Avis, Venus Tina and Neptune Loren shimmered in glorious white gowns, complete with Neptune serving tricks and being a complete star. Flor and Rosa allowed Burrito Bouquet to make a glamorous entrance, with all of them looking expensive and beautiful. While Gabriella, Isabella and B’Leaning Tower of Pisa served stunts and tricks, giving sexy, slutty Flintstones and ugh, I love it too.

Hollywould was praised for looking glam, despite a complete lack of family resemblance. While Rhys was more thrilled to see Hollywould having fun and living it up. Isis deservedly received universal praise, for giving killer looks, serving family resemblance and all around charming the judges. Flor too received nothing but love, particularly since she far and away gave the best doggy outfit. And after Grace thanked RuPaul for creating the show, I am confident Flor may just get her first victory! While Gabriella’s concept won over the judges, they wished there was more family resemblance. And more importantly, they loved how well behaved 10 month old Billy is. Oh and then Gabriella explained she didn’t give camp because she wants to show them she believes she can truly be sexy.

Backstage Hollywould was ready to lip sync if needed, on her way to the crown, while Gabriella was disappointed Michelle didn’t live for her concept. Isis on the other hand wasn’t sure who would take out another win, given she and Flor both got glowing critiques. 

Ultimately both of them took out victory and found themselves the first two members of the top three, while Hollywould and Gabriella had to battle for the last spot. And damn, they were hun-gry. As Not About You by Haiku Hands kicked off, both of the dolls had all the energy, hit every lyric and served moves, but there was something about Gabriella you couldn’t take your eyes off and it was that extra something that sent her through to the finale and Hollywould home in fourth place.

While I am thrilled for each and every member of the top three, I do think Hollywould deserved to be there alongside them and as such, broke down in tears of shattering disappointment. Hollywould being sweet, followed me sorrowful weeping and pulled me in for a massive hug backstage. And like an icon, flipped the script, assuring me that she will be the first Down Under girl to win and All Stars season and as such, no more tears would be cried. So I followed her lead, dried my eyes, got to brainstorming ideas to get her to the top on her second round and, most importantly, whipped up a piping hot Hollymajoun Star.

This glorious little number is Antoni’s – my beautiful ex – take on a lahmajoun, with a few tweaks here and there for taste. Earthy and rich, yet fresh and zingy, it is a quick easy meal that you’ll come back to time and time again.

Enjoy!

Hollymajoun Star
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 green capsicum, diced
1 onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
⅓ cup flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped
¼ cup mint, roughly chopped
500g lamb mince
2 tsp tomato paste
1 tsp chilli flakes
¼ tsp ground allspice
¾ tsp kosher salt
¼ tsp black pepper
6 Pita Andre Breads
1 tomato, diced
¾ cup natural yoghurt
⅓ cup black olives, sliced

Method
Preheat the oven to 190C.

Blitz the capsicum, onion, garlic, parsley and mint in a food processor until finely chopped. Add the lamb, tomato paste, chilli, allspice, salt and pepper and blitz until well combined.

Pop the pitas on a pair of lined baking sheets and divide the meat between them, flattening out to form a flat disc on top. Transfer to the oven and bake for 10-15 minutes, or until golden and brown.

Remove from the oven and dab away some of the excess fat with a paper towel before serving piping hot, with a sprinkle of tomato, dollop of yoghurt and a smattering of black olives. And then devouring, like a boss.


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Breakfast Hamburger Helpa Love

Breakfast, Main, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 3, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under the dolls lined up to write another little verse as they competed in the Girl Groups challenge. This time inspired by our Nicole’s hit movie, BMX Bandits. Even more unhinged than the last two seasons, the song BMX Bitches was a glorious ‘80s inspired bop. Team Challenge Winners (minus Ashley) were mostly feeling confident, while Team Ashley and The Rest were a bit of a mess. Bumpa struggled with choreo and Ashley was in her head, while poor Flor desperately tried to hold it together. Hollywould meanwhile was the Beyonce of the other better group, and took out her second win of the season. Flor was obviously deemed safe leaving Bumpa to battle against Ashley and send her home to join the win-to-elim club.

Backstage Hollywould was surprised by how much she was missing Ashley already, while Bumpa was stressed about the fact the judges don’t think she is confident. Isis meanwhile was focused on the fact that Ashley joined the win to elim club and as such, worried that it meant anyone could go home. Specifically, I assume, her. Hollywould turned their attention to the positive, thrilled to be the first one to collect two wins, while Flor just wanted to get one and Gabriella was worried about going from strength to strength to jag another win.

The next day the dolls were thrilled when they realised they had officially made the top five, before talk turned to who hasn’t lip synced yet. With SNS thrilled to have not had that bother as Gabriella and Isis just wanted to keep avoiding landing in the bottom. Which means one of them is literally lip syncing tonight, no? Right on cue, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be hosting a Drag Brunch Talent Show and as the winner of the last challenge, Hollywould would have the honour of selecting the running order.

After Ru departed, the dolls split up to kiki, with Hollywould confident in her opera skillz, Gabriella her pro-hula hooping background, Isis was keeping her plans a secret while Bumpa was confidently doing stand up. Something she has never done before. Gabriella sweetly suggested that stand up rarely goes over well and maybe she should do something safer. Something which proved even sweeter once Bumpa ran one of her jokes past the dolls because it was a mess. Bumpa gurl, you’re in danger. Talk turned to the running order with Bumpa sharing that she was desperate to open, while on the other hand, Gabriella was happy with anything and Hollywould felt she would make a lovely showstopper.

The dolls joined Rhys and Bree Tomasel on the mainstage to rehearse, with Rhys concerned that Gabriella’s act was one note, given she isn’t actually a professional hula hooper as she told the dolls. And was just going to gag around. Flor was going to honour her nursing skills with a CPR set and while it appeared to confuse them, the fact that she plans to teach a real skill makes me hopeful she will pull it off. Isis was going deep, talking about weathering the storm that is mental health, which meant she had to navigate the change between the energies. Bumpa had the duo laughing at the start, despite the lack of jokes. And while Hollywould’s singing was hidden from us, she did assure the duo that she is thrilled by the prospect of being shady with the order but also didn’t want to leave it to become a shit show. Literally.

Backstage Hollywould put the dolls out of their misery, announcing that Isis would be opening the show, followed by Bumpa, then Flor, Gabriella and that she would be closing it herself. Which was her final decision. That is, until Isis suggested the energy of her performance would best sit in the middle, so she offered it to Gabriella instead. While Bumpa grew more and more enraged by the fact she wanted to open the show, but clearly wasn’t viewed as strong enough by Hollywould. She, though, calmly explained her rationale and all’s well that ends well, it seems.

Elimination Day arrived with Isis exhausted from all the rehearsal, while Gabriella admitted she had a good sleep and plans to wing it opening the show. As they split up to beat their mugs, we had another bug visitor before Flor opened up to Hollywould about how nervous she is to perform live on the mainstage while the latter assured her that she has so much charisma, that she just needs to have fun and believe in herself. Bumpa and Gabriella meanwhile were speaking about needing to prove themselves. Hollywould meanwhile asked Gabriella the origin story of her name, which came from a stoner saying they felt like Gabriella Labucci one night and after googling the name and finding there was no such person, she snatched it for her character. Flor then opened up that hers came from her biological mother, who died bringing her into the world and hot damn, I am crying. It is beautiful to see the dolls rally around her as she broke down in tears.

Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined on the panel by Amy Taylor who is essentially Gabriella Labucci, for those that are unfamiliar. Speaking of Gabriella, she opened the Drag Brunch giving stupid hula hooping and while it was fun for 20 seconds, it was kind of a bomb. Bumpa meanwhile was a mess, relying on Ru to prompt the entire set and well, that made it funny. Flor by comparison slayed, giving jokes, silliness and useful health education. It was unexpected, smart and so much fun, so I love her. Isis meanwhile was a consummate professional – did I just jinx her?! – as she gave a moving, meaningful and a little sexy lip sync performance. And then Hollywould opened with a little opera before lip syncing to an original song and she was so good, Bumpa adorably just spoke about how talented she is in her confessional.

On the Not in My Backyard BBQ runway Gabriella served sexy, slutty tomato sauce, Bumpa gave bad Sandy, Flor was a beautiful burnt BBQ in yellow, Isis gave The Nanny does Looking for Alibrandi while Hollywould was stunning in an inflatable pool gown.

The judges lived for Gabriella and her glamour on the runway, though felt her talent show was undercooked. Badly. Bumpa too was read for being confusing as hell in the performance though they loved her runway, despite it not really making sense for the category. Flor received wall to wall praise, particularly since she is such a caring nurse. Isis meanwhile was totally beloved and cemented herself as the frontrunner while the former frontrunner’s singing was beloved, though there wasn’t enough. While Michelle desperately wanted to see more of who she is, given she appears to be quite guarded.

Backstage Flor was thrilled to clearly be one of the top queens, as Hollywould congratulated her and Isis for slaying the challenge. Bumpa and Gabriella meanwhile were ready to lip sync, given it is very clear they were in the bottom. Gabriella though was worried about the fact the judges aren’t seeing who she is, which is something that also worried Hollywould. With Flor, who has English as a second language, explaining that Ru doesn’t want her to be an extrovert, just to let her guard down.

Ultimately Flor had to settle for safe as Isis claimed her second win, before Hollywould was deemed safe. She then went unsafe, asking Ru what she wants to see from her, with her asking Hollywould to pull down the wall as it is what she needs, not just to succeed, but for a happy life. After making her way to the back of the stage, Gabriella and Bumpa lined up for the lip sync – as expected – and as soon as Jet’s 20 YEAR OLD Are you Gonna Be My Girl kicked off, it was clear our Italian queen was not going anywhere. She had all the energy, she was camp and she was flipping in every direction, and while Bumpa was a star, it wasn’t enough to save her as she exited with her head held high and praising the crew like a kind, hardworking icon.

As she arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug, assuming that praising the crew was essentially just a comment targeted at me, given I cook 10 meals per season. I mean, talk about a hardworking icon, no? Given Bumpa is obviously on the fast track to a vs The World season, I assured her that she has the chops for victory given she is so charismatic. So instead, focus on earning the coin to upgrade the wardrobes and she will coast even further into our hearts like Down Under’s version of Alyssa Edwards or Katya. And while she waits, well, she can smash a bowl of Breakfast Hamburger Helpa Love.

Yes, yes – this is just another one of my crack an egg on it and called it breakfast recipes. But the fact that they are simple – or lazy – shouldn’t matter, only that they taste delicious and fill you with joy. And, make good use of leftovers.

Enjoy!

Breakfast Hamburger Helpa Love
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 serves Irene HamduBois Helper
1 tbsp butter
2 eggs
kosher salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Cook (or reheat) the hamburger helper per Irene’s recipe.

Pop the butter in a skillet over medium heat and once foaming, crack the eggs in and fry until the white are set. Sprinkle with a good whack of salt and pepper, and remove from the heat.

Divide the hamburger helper between two bowls, top each pile with an egg and then devour, joyously.


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Chicken & Kimchley Madisondwich

Main, Poultry, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 3, Sandwich, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under the dolls played the Snatch Game. And well, as is tradition, there weren’t many wins, though thankfully Ashley and Isis slayed. The former giving us gay Jesus – but for real, not JVN – while Isis’ choice to pivot from her original pick Gloria Swanson to Donatella Versace proved correct. At the other end of the pack was the rest of them, though for reasons, Flor was popped in the bottom despite her Charro only being one note rather than bad (like say, Italy’s Gabriella Labucci). Rita, however, was just bad bad as she found herself lip syncing for the third time and finally being put out of her misery. Though she got the recipe of the season, so that is kind of a win, TBH.

Backstage Flor barely read the mirror measure before wiping it away and assuring the dolls that she is now primed and ready to rise again. As they sat down, Gabriella praised Ashley for the victory and slaying Snatch Game in general, while Bumpa admitted that she was sure it would be Isis taking out victory. Which obviously annoyed Ashley, who felt she was just being bitter as she is on the decline, while Ashley is on the up and up. So they’re either a winning duo or in the bottom two tonight, no?

The next day the dolls were feeling rather zen, reiterating it felt like it was Rita’s time to go which led to Isis joking that Flor’s time may also be up soon. This fired her up, leading to Gabriella explaining that everyone has kinda won or had a star moment, while she hasn’t and as such, it was a fair assessment. Which absolutely made her lose it, cussing out Gabriella and telling her she bombed Snatch Game and should have been in the lip sync but just got lucky. Lucky to be beloved.

Before she could make it physical, Ru arrived and thankfully opened the library, with the help of a rugged zaddy member of the Pit Crew named Ben. So like the dolls, my basement is flooded. Gabriella was up first and bombed like it was Snatch Game. Isis too, sucked. Thankfully, them being so bad let Ru open up and read the dolls herself, so at least we started to win, I guess. Bumpa had a single joke, Flor was ok, Ashley also had a single read while Hollywould had energy but zero jokes. Not a one. And as such, for the first time in Drag Race herstory, Ru deemed Ben from the Pit Crew the winner. And in addition to his $2500 worth of glitter, he would be the one dividing the dolls into two girl groups for this week’s Maxi Challenge.

Inspired by Nicky Kid’s greatest film (outside of the AMC commercial) BMX Bandits, the dolls would write verses on the new hit single BMX Bitches, record them with Michelle and then perform live on the mainstage. And with Ben from the Pit Crew being another messy Ben (or under the guidance of Alexis Michelle), he joyfully grouped Ashley, Bumpa and Flor as one band, leaving Isis, Hollywould and Gabriella as the other.

After Ru exited, the dolls split up to work through their lyrics, with the latter group thrilled to be together. Gabriella planned to lean into character in the performance, given she is starting to get sick and lose her voice, with her sisters sweetly assuring her it was a good idea. The other group meanwhile were ready to prove themselves, while Ashley wistfully looked at the group of challenge winners, wishing she was with them rather than win-less Flor and Bumpa. As team winners powered ahead with their verses, Bumpa and Co were focused on trying to come up with a name. And sitting round in awkward silence. Meaning they are winning, or it is so obviously bad, there is no hiding it.

F.A.B. International – aka Flor, Ashley and Bumpa – were first up to record with Michelle with Ashley struggling to give energy, notes and personality. Flor on the other hand was sassy and delightfully, getting Michelle back into a good mood. While Bumpa was somewhere in the middle, giving so many words Toto style, though also getting a chance to shine. Leaving Ashley super nervous about the performance. The dolls traded out with SNS (Sexy & Stupid) where Gabriella’s smoker character to hide her busted voice was beloved, Hollywould rapped the shit out of her verse while Isis committed to singing. Sadly just the one note though, annoying Michelle who asked her to speak her verse instead. Leading her to spiral as Gabriella and Hollywould encouraged her to stay confident.

Backstage Isis opened up to her sisters, heartbroken to have let herself down as Ashley too joined the pity party. Feeling like she has well and truly made a fool of herself. Thankfully their sisters divide their time between the duo, raising them up and encouraging them to focus on how fierce they are.

F.A.B. were first to work through the choreography with Corey Barker, complete with bikes for all the dolls. And while it looks to be hilarious, camp fun, I’m not sure either of the groups will be able to nail it. Because bikes. Ashley continued to doubt herself and Bumpa had Corey confused, so bless, Flor seemed great by comparison. SNS meanwhile were solid, nailing their handlebar wanking, though it was clear Hollywould was truly a star (see what I did there?). Though Gabriella was also pretty damn good.

Elimination Day arrived with Isis still nervous, while Gabriella’s voice sounded even worse, morphing more and more into Madge. Ashley, bless, tried to assure her she’ll be resting at home tomorrow, Gabriella destroying her as she reminded her that she shouldn’t really talk as the weakest dancer of the group.

We quickly pivoted to the mainstage where Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined on the panel by the iconic Rachel Hunter. F.A.B. were up first with the performance clearly owned by Flor as Bumpa seemed lost for most of the time and well, it happened and Ashley was there. SNS meanwhile, slayed. Even Isis who had the energy and sold each moment. Gabriella was a demented, bogan, delight, though it was clear Hollywould was the Beyonce of the group; fierce, energetic and fun in each and every moment. On the Fuschia? I Don’t Even Know Her! runway Gabriella was a gorgeous fuschia space diva, Isis meanwhile gave futuristic snake queen, Hollywould was all glamour in an ode to old Hollywood, Bumpa was hilarious as I Dream of Jeanie, Ashley on the other hand was perfection in a gorgeous gown while Flor too gave alien enchantress.

Gabriella received universal praise for the performance, particularly for overcoming her lack of voice, while they also lived for her runway. Isis was praised for slaying the performance despite her weakness in the recording, and her outfit was just as beloved while Hollywould was the most beloved, for owning the performance and the runway. Bumpa’s runway received praise though she was read for getting lost in the performance, despite the fact she always sells fun. Ashley’s look in the performance was beloved, though all they could focus on were her nerves. Which was a direct contrast to the runway, which she nailed. Flor’s performance on the other hand was loved as was the runway, though Michelle hated the fit of her girl group look.

Feeling shady, Ru asked the dolls who they felt should go home, with Gabriella saying Flor, Isis hedging her bets between Flor and Ashley, Hollywould identified Ashley and Bumpa, while Ashley and Bumpa said Flor, while Flor returned serve on Bumpa. As such, backstage Flor was feeling nice and spicy, while Gabriella and Isis tried to start things off with an apology. Flor coldly suggested she didn’t care, while Ashley admitted she actually wanted to say Bumpa as Hollywould admitted that she picked Bumpa and Ashley because they clearly got the worst critiques. The dolls then started to fight, with everyone kinda agreeing Bumpa was the worst in the challenge and has gotten by in the competition thanks to her personality. To make Bumpa feel better, Isis tried to suggest Flor had also had that luck, leading to Ashley jumping in to defend her, yet again. And damn, they are cranky this week!

Ultimately SNS were deemed the top group, though it was Hollywould that took out victory solo. Flor too was deemed safe, leaving Bumpa and Ashley to lip sync for the final spot, to the Masterchef theme no less! And damn, it was a show. Both of the dolls hit every lyric and all the energy, though it was clear that Bumpa’s camp energy had the judges delighted. Tragically leading to Ashley’s exit, the newest member of the win to elim club.

As she arrived backstage, I pulled Ashley and her nipple pasties in for a massive hug and immediately reminded her she should be proud of herself. While she got off to a rough start, she always gave us iconic moments and won the Snatch Game, the latter of which should qualify her for an All Stars season on its own. Which seemed to perk her up enough to celebrate her success and toast to leveraging her appearance with a piping hot Chicken & Kimchley Madisondwich.

Does this pretty much just use leftovers from the fridge? Sure! But when it tastes this good, despite being so easy, who cares? The spicy kimchi and the sweet, crispy chicken make the perfect pairing on their own, but when you add in some vintage cheese, it truly sings.

Enjoy!

Chicken & Kimchley Madisondwich
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
4 slices bread
¼ cup Shayonnaise Swain
6 slices of vintage cheddar cheese
2 cups Josh Karaagate Chicken
1 cup kimchi

Method
Assuming you’ve already got the mayo, chicken and kimchi ready – or have some lying around the fridge – this is super simple.

Smear mayo on the bread, layer the cheese on two of the slices, top with karaage and kimchi, followed by the remaining bread. And then devour, gloriously.


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Punanilini Bean Dip

Condiment, Dip, Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race France the top five were thrilled to learn they’d be competing in the famed Girl Groups challenge. That is until they learnt that they would be facing off against the eliminated queens, with the best of their fallen sisters battling against the worst of the top five for a chance to return. As such, the dolls gave it their absolute all, working as one and straight up proving just why they made it to the end. That being said, Sara slayed and as such scored her third win of the season. Piche meanwhile, absolutely dominated from the eliminated queens and faced off against Cookie in the lip sync. And used that fire to demolish the lip sync and return to the competition, sending Cookie out in her place.

Backstage Piche tried to hide her jubilation as everyone sadly paid their respects to sweet Cookie. Eventually talk turned to Piche’s return and while the rest of the dolls felt like it was odd and a disappointing way for Cookie to go, Mother Keiona did assure Piche that she was happy for Piche to get another shot at the crown. Because, trust, if she was eliminated she would want another shot.

The next day the dolls were trying to sell the Werk Room to prospective buyers – Down Under, it’s a good space! – before everyone praised Sara on her third win. She meanwhile was just thrilled to be on the up again after a string of bottoms, which is something Piche obviously related to. The clock struck Cocorico as Nicky arrived to pop them through a Weakest Link mini challenge, hosted by the iconique Lova Ladiva. After five minutes to beat their mugs, the dolls ventured to set and well, they were stupid and oh so fun. Though Punani, obviously, stole the show, shouting out her fake sons and living her best life. Sadly though, it was treated like an actual quiz show, so her charm meant nothing and Ms. Mami Watta proved unstoppable as she snatched the win.

But that means nothing because for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be making over rugby players and swoon, my basement is flooded. As were the queens’, though they seemed to be more excited about having new sisters. For winning the mini challenge though, Mami was able to pair the queens taking the zaddiest for herself, giving the bearded zaddy Ryan to Piche, François went to Sara, a lovely man called Ludovic to Kieona leaving Florent for Punani and TBH, it was super fair, as everyone kinda looked like a perfect match.

After Nicky departed the dolls got to know their rugby players with Mami gagged to learn she paired herself with a straight. Though he loved the show thanks to her wife, so that is not nothing, I guess. And hearing him talk about being the Maddy Morphosis of France, essentially, has me delighted. Sara’s player meanwhile was excited to show inclusivity by participating and hoped to make his kids proud, and ugh, like Sara, I am already crying. Keiona meanwhile was lucky to get a gay guy, though he was scared to get rid of his beard while Piche and her player were just vibing and living their best lives. As were Punani and her zaddy, given they are just sweeties. I mean, he practised walking in heels at home to help the process. Sadly though, it didn’t appear to give him much of an advantage as the dolls raced their daughters and he lost.

We then did a hard pivot to a supercut of the dolls shaving their players – except Piche, obviously – before they beated their mugs and bonded even further. Punani’s player, like Sara’s, was thrilled to set an example for his kids and hoped his appearance would contribute to a better world in some way. It then led to Piche opening up about being kicked out of home at 13 after her boyfriend outed her to her parents and seeing everyone, including the rugby players, rally around to comfort her was just beautiful to see. As beautiful as the rugby players felt when they saw themselves in drag for the first time. Because they were all gagged.

Nicky, Daphne and Kiddy were joined on the panel by Nicolas Huchard et La Zarra as Piche and Christabiche fought to be the star of the ball and well, looked a million bucks. Despite being modelled on Cinderella’s ugly step sisters. Mami Watta and Queen Mera went from grannies to glamazonian dominatrixes, and well, swoon. Punani and Lovali were absolute camp delights while Keiona and Lola were pretty in purple, before Sara stole the show with her new sister Divina serving Ed and Pats and yeah, give her her fourth win, I guess. Because it was absolute perfection. Per. Fec. Tion.

Christerbiche was absolutely beloved for looking stunning, though Piche was read for the ill fitting outfits. Queen Mera too was praised for her energy, with Mami in turn was read for not finessing the details. Punani and Lovali were praised for the camp, though read for the outfit falling off Lovali. As Lovali sweetly tried to take the fall for Punani, like an icon. Keiona once again received universal praise before Sara was almost handed the win then and there just for being an absolute star.

Backstage the vibe was upbeat as the dolls bonded further. Well except for Mami, who was worried she was in the bottom. Punani on the other hand was hoping to avoid the bottom, despite the fit issues of the dresses. Oh and then they did a group cocorico. Which is important.

Before getting to the results, the dolls were asked why they should go through to the finale, with Piche sharing she was ready to prove herself. Mami wanted to teach others to dream big, Punani was proud of her growth and ready to cap it off with that win, Keiona was thrilled to take risks and prove she can still grow while Sara was proud of being able to grow to love herself and that she deserves it.

Ultimately, the judges agreed with that as she snatched her fourth win and made her way directly through to the finale. Keiona was next to book her ticket – as she deserves – followed by Mami Watta, leaving Punani and Piche to battle for the final spot. As soon as the lip sync kicked off – to Une femme avec une femme by Mecano, which tragically reminded me we didn’t have any licensing issues this year – it was clear this was Punani’s to lose as she felt all the emotions and channelled her fire for the crown to knock it out of the park. And ultimately book her spot in the finale, sending Piche out the door one final time.

Given we had already dabbled in comfort, I gave Piche a hug and sent her on her way before pulling Punani aside for a bit of a pre-finale perk up. Why Punani you ask? Well, since the other dolls track records were iconic in their own ways – no tops or bottoms for Mami, 4 wins and some lows for Sara and never lower than second for Mother Keiona – I figured Punani deserved it for her more classic trajectory of highs and lows. Which she was ok with, given a pre-finale advantage is a pre-finale advantage. And when it comes in the form of a vat of Punanilini Bean Dip, how could she be disappointed?

Earthy and lightly spiced, this easy dip is so warming and nourishing, it will have you coming back for more. Better still, it is pretty damn healthy, so you don’t even have to contend with guilt.

Enjoy!

Punanilini Bean Dip
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
400g can cannellini beans, drained and rinsed
1 lemon, zested and juiced
2 tbsp olive oil
3 garlic cloves, minced
2 tbsp chargrilled capsicum, drained
2 tbsp fresh flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Pop everything in a food processor and blitz until smooth. Season to taste.

Decant into a small bowl and devour, with your fave crackers.


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Ri-the Menu Cheeseburger

Burgers, Main, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 3, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under thanks to a perfectly timed fainting episode, Mother Ivory mothered and scored herself a check – I hope – for the third episode. After Rita returned to the Werk Room, inspired and ready for rudemption, she learnt that the dolls would being starring in an improv sketch for the Fake Housewives of Down Under. And was instantly filled with dread. Gabriella on the other hand was positively pumped, confident in finally getting her star turn and being able to snatch the win. Which she promptly did, though TBH, the competition was hardly there. Flor was barking mad, Bumpa was Bumpa – so beloved – while Ivanna just looked to be trapped in her head and Rita was an absolute mess. When it came to the lip sync, Rita once again got her energy back, slaying and saving herself, while poor Ivanna exited stage left.

In the exact same placement as her husband Anita.

Backstage Rita was gagged to have survived her second lip sync in a row, putting it down to her hunger for the competition. While Hollywould pointed out it may just be because she is a lip sync assassin. The dolls meanwhile toasted the heartbroken Ivanna, wishing the judges got to see how joyous and fun she was backstage, since they felt it was lacking in the challenges. Talk turned to Gabriella’s win before Ashley continued her Milk storyline, complaining about how she has now been safe twice and as such, she was hungry for a win. Though Flor assured her that she was too. While Italy’s own Ms. Labucci decided that since she has had a taste of victory, she is well and truly ready for another.

Asking the dolls to catch her as she skated on by.

The next day everyone was feeling positive and ready to face the next challenge. Particularly Flor, given she was happy to get rid of the teams given Bumpa did her head in. Hollywould meanwhile agreed that she was kinda shocked Bumpa was deemed high in the last challenge, before Rita reminded everyone that while she lip synced twice in one episode, she knows her worth and isn’t going to let it impact her. Hopefully not jinxing herself again in the process. Ru interrupted the kiki wheeling out 10 of the hottest Pit Crew members for the dolls to pick out who is wearing matching panties. As is often the case, we all won but Gabriella Labucci won that little bit more. But who cares, packages!

And for this week’s Maxi Challenge, the dolls would be playing the Snatch Game so really we have no time to dwell on logistics. Simply remember them fondly.

After Ru departed, the dolls split up to talk through their characters with Flor wisely locking in Charo while Bumpa excitedly shared she was doing a famed Opera Singer. Isis meanwhile locked in Gloria Swanson, Hollywould planned to do community service Naomi Campbell and Gabriella, like an icon, was doing Emma Wiggle. Ru dropped by to talk to her new daughters, with Gabriella admitting how nervous she was to live up to the expectations of the judges as a proven comedy queen. And the fact Ru had no idea about The Wiggles. Isis meanwhile had Ru nervous with her choice before Ashley delighted her with her choice of playing Jesus Christ himself. But make it gay. Rita meanwhile thought it was a good idea to play the pioneer of the suffragette movement – Rita gurl, you’re in danger. Thankfully though, after Ru bounced, Isis and Rita spiralled over their choices and both opted to change.

We dropped by the Snatch Game set where Gabriella stuck with Emma Wiggle, Isis pivoted to Donatella Versace, Bumpa stuck with Dame Kiri Te Kanawa, Rita went to Cardi B while Hollywould, Ashley and Flor wisely stuck with their OG choices. While I’d love to say it was finally a winning Down Under Snatch Game, it wasn’t, as Ashley and Isis far and away ran  circles around their sisters. Ashley in particular, talking about Jesus being bred and living out her gay dreams. While Rita was just a mess. But so messy, it was kinda charming?

Elimination Day arrived with Ashley feeling her oats, ready to potentially snatch a win and stamp her place in the contest. While Hollywould exuded confidence, she admitted she was joking and knew she was a mess. Though a gracious mess, as she praised Isis and Ashley for slaying. Ashley in turn felt Bumpa would be joining them in the top, while the rest of the dolls all kinda knew any of them could be going home. Except Flor, who was sure she would be the third top, while Gabriella was simply hoping she would be safe.

Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined on the panel by Keiynan Lonsdale as the dolls stomped the Night of 1000 Kylie Minogue’s runway. Bumpa was up first, gorgeous in blue and green in Kylie’s showgirl era, Ashley served In My Arms music video, and was glorious, before Flor gave us the green fairy and was stun. Ning. Rita gave the weaker version of the In My Arms music video, though her mug was so, so, so perfect. Hollywould gave cyborg Kylie and was fierce as hell, Isis also gave a more glamorous green fairy before Gabriella gave Delinquents premiere Kylie, rather than Charlene like I desperately hoped from her.

Hollywould and Gabriella were sent to safety before Bumpa was praised for a strong start in Snatch Game, though read for fading throughout. Though her runway was beloved. Ashley meanwhile got wall to wall praise for Snatch Game and her runway. Praised in particular for bringing dignity to her Jesus without losing the jokes. Isis too was absolutely beloved, while Rita’s look received wall to wall praise, though her Snatch Game was truly hated. Flor meanwhile was read for not bringing any comedy to her character work, though they found her outfit cute.

Backstage the dolls caught the safe girls up, with Rita shocked they were safe given she would have put them both in the bottom. Everyone agreed the win was down to Ashley and Isis, before Rita and Flor admitted they were confident they would be lip syncing. And they bloody hated it, given it is Rita’s third in a row. With sweet Gabriella encouraging them to learn the lip sync and use it as the fire to push them further in the competition. Bless.

Ultimately Ashley took out victory as Isis was sent to safety alongside her, before Bumpa was gagged to join them, leaving Rita to serve her third lip sync of the season against Flor. And as soon as the singing budgie’s Secrets kicked off it was clear both girls had the fire Gabriella requested, though Flor’s experience proved to give her a little edge. Hitting every lyric and slaying the game. Which was enough to save her and send sweet Rita Menu out of the race. 

While she wished she read a fucking book – included only because it was a glorious exit line – I assured her that if we learnt anything from the Book Ball in Season 8, it is that illiteracy is hilarious. I pulled her in for a hug and told her she should be so proud of how well she did in the competition, and honestly, could have gone a lot further if not for a bad run of challenges for a non-comedy queen. Which proved to delight her enough to wipe away her tears and sit down to enjoy a piping hot Ri-the Menu Cheeseburger.

Despite the gastronomic delights of The Menu, the dish that has everyone salivating is its gloriously simple burger. And after sampling a version compositing all the copycats I could find on the internet, I know why. Crunchy and umami, sweet and gooey, this perfect burger has everything and will keep you coming back again and again.

Enjoy!

Ri-the Menu Cheeseburger
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
500g 80/20 beef mince
1 tsp kosher salt
½ tsp black pepper, ground
½ small onion, thinly sliced
4 slices American cheese
2 Briocher Bünsberg, toasted
your favourite burger sauce – I can’t go past the one from Smoke Shacqui Patterson – and dill pickle chips, to serve

Method
Divide the beef evenly into 4 portions and gently roll into meatballs, working as little as possible so you can still see the strings of the mincing. Pop on a plate and place in the freezer for no more than 15 minutes.

Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat and get the air vent going or open up your windows, as there will be smoke. You will know the pan is hot enough if you splash water in the pan and it balls up and rolls along the surface. Place the balls in the hot skillet, top with a square of parchment and using a large metal spatula, flatten each into a patty. Sprinkle each with a little salt and pepper, followed by some sliced onion.

Once the base of the patties have crisped – about 90 seconds or so should do – flip over, season the tops and top with a slice of cheese, and cook until the bottoms are gloriously crisp.

To assemble, smear some sauce on the base of the buns, top with some pickle chips, followed by the two patties and close. Then devour, gloriously.


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Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath

Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Main, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France the remaining dolls were well and truly challenged as Nicky challenged them to throw a little Time Ball. Despite it being one of the more notoriously difficult challenges of the franchise, every single one of them slayed. Nicky decided to get a little shady and asked everyone to name who they think should go home, with the dolls gagging her by agreeing on frontrunner Sara for her single dud look. Not surprisingly, Keoina slayed and snagged her second win with the next gag of the episode being that she wasn’t alone, as Cookie (rightfully) joined her in victory. Moon meanwhile landed in the bottom alongside Sara, however Moon saved the biggest gag for last as she opted to exit the contest before the lip sync.

After Moon’s exit, the dolls returned backstage to talk through how sad they were to see her go, though grateful she put her mental health first. Sara meanwhile was conflicted, feeling a little guilty to have survived without a fight and feeling like she owed her place to Moon.

Things were far more upbeat the next day as the dolls giddily welcomed themselves back for another week. Well, until the cocorico struck and officially welcomed them, that is. Nicky stomped the stairs before ominously mentioning a twist before promptly pulling out the puppets for a cute little mini challenge. Why? Because everybody loves puppets! Duh. Keiona got to read Mami, Punani pulled out Keiona, Sara got Punani and Mami got Cookie, leaving Cookie with Sara. After beating their puppets to varying degrees of success, Keiona was adorbs as she bombed and Cookie served a slutty Sara before Punani arrived and finally bought comedy, as she expertly read Keiona. Sara read Punani for filth and was oh so good, while Mami closed the show brutally reading Cookie. And it was perfect.

Which was all it took to hand her victory.

Before departing, Nicky announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be forming a girl group and performing live to Nicky’s original song. Oh and they were not the only band, as Ginger, Piche, Kitty, Vespi and Rose would be returning to compete for the right to return to the competition. Yep, we have a girl group returning challenge on our hands, All Stars 3 style! The best of the eliminated girls would lip sync against the worst of the top five, with the winner staying in the contest and the loser going home. So either keeping their place in the competition, or stealing a spot back in the new top five.

The OG top five sat down to work through the song and brainstorm choreography as the eliminated queens remained backstage as an ominous spectre over the episode, which TBH, feels like a missed opportunity. Knowing they would be facing a fiery fivetet, Keiona opted to take the lead of the group, working through the choreography and cataloguing the skills of the eliminated queens they were about to battle. They pivoted to the mainstage to properly work on the choreography and damn, the dolls were cohesive, on point and well, I feel sorry for the eliminated queens. Speaking of which, they snuck onto the stage to work through their choreography and catch up with the current top five. 

As the eliminated queens worked through their own choreo – with Piche showing the top of her thong, swoon – the top five ventured backstage to beat their mugs and reflect on the competition thus far and kiki about how close they have gotten. Talk turned to their respective profiles and how they’ve had to adapt their work the more famous they have gotten. They then spoke about the different spaces they work within and how people – particularly in America – have a misconception of how sexualised drag is and well, it is not the case and people just need to fuck right off. My words, not theirs.

Nicky, Daphne and Kiddy were joined by Victor Weinsanto and Virginie Despentes as the eliminated queens stomped the stage for their performance and well, let’s just say Piche was Piche perfect from start to finish. She had all the energy and lines, pulling focus through every single solo and well, it was not even close. The top five meanwhile were a little more even as everyone came to fight, dancing in complete synchronicity and all around proving just why they made the top five in the first place.

On the Brillex pour nous runway Keiona slayed as she vogued down the runway in a gorgeous blue and gold sequined jumpsuit, giving Cleopatra of the ballroom. Mami gave shimmering face, nips and corset, Cookie gave sparkly nude illusion and well, it was kind of a mess, Sara meanwhile brought the drama in a full length black sequin gown with reversible sequin embellishment like the kids Ts at H&M and yeah, it was a slay. Despite the fucking H&M reference. While Punani shone head to toe as a straight up cartoon character.

Keiona, as usual, received universal praise for being a killer performer and slaying the hell out of the runway. Despite the fact the judges felt she brought herself down to her sisters level when it came to the choreography. Mami was beloved for her magnetism in the challenge and for making the runway work. Cookie meanwhile was read for being the weakest of the dolls in the performance, though they loved her camp runway. Sara meanwhile received universal praise for dominating the performance and giving all the drama on the runway. While Punani received top marks for giving comedy in the performance and serving a very creative runway.

Backstage the dolls toasted making it to the first go at the top five, with everyone agreeing how strong they performed and how nice it was to work together as one in the challenge. Talk turned to their competition with everyone agreeing Piche was far and away the star on that team. Cookie meanwhile felt she would be the one lip syncing tonight, though assured us and her sisters that she has fared well thus far and as such, has no fear about saving herself. Again.

Ultimately Sara took out her third win of the season, booking her spot in the semi finals alongside Keiona, Punani and Mami, leaving Cookie to battle for the final spot alongside Piche. Because duh. As soon as Et alors! by Shy’m kicked off, Piche kept the fire from the performance, stomping the floor and killing every damn moment; voguing and flipping, fierce and funny, she gave everything and rightly earned her place back in the competition as a sweet and gracious Cookie exited stage left.

Given Cookie left with such grace and humility, I was at a bit of a loss for words backstage, given I regularly have to remind them how good they are and that winning isn’t everything. While the latter is a lie (it is), the first is always true, but thankfully, given Cookie is such a damn star, she never lost sight of that. So all I had to do was give her a big hug, congratulate her on a stellar run and career, and toast it off with a Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath.

You thought we were going to go with a cookie, didn’t you? Nope! When it looks like we’re going to zig, sometimes, we zag even if it needs to be shoehorned a little. But when it tastes as good as this – sweet, rich and a little camp – who cares what it’s called. Something, something rose by any other name, and all that.

Enjoy!

Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
800g butternut pumpkin, deseeded and cut into a 3cm dice
salt and pepper, to taste
1 onion, sliced
500g chicken breast, diced
300g ricotta
1 cup fresh basil and parsley leaves, roughly chopped
¼ cup pine nuts, toasted
¼ cup parmesan cheese, grated
1 lemon, zested
4 garlic cloves, crushed
1 tsp chilli flakes
½ cup sundried tomatoes, drained and cut into strips
1 egg, whisked
2 sheets puff pastry, just thawed
2 tbsp mixed sesame seeds, to sprinkle

Method
Preheat the oven to 190C and line a large baking tray with baking paper. Toss the pumpkin in half the oil, season with a good whack of salt and pepper and bake for 30 minutes or until golden and tender. Transfer to a plate lined with a paper towel and leave to drain.

Heat the rest of the olive oil in a large frying pan over medium heat and sweat the onion for a couple of minutes. Add the chicken breast and cook for about ten minutes, or until the chicken is cooked through. Drain off all the excess fat and leave to cool.

Combine the ricotta, herbs, pine nuts, lemon zest, garlic, chilli and sundried tomatoes in a bowl. Stir and fold through the pumpkin, chicken and onion with a good whack of salt and pepper.

To assemble, place the pastry on the bench and cut in half. Press three together to form a long rectangle. Place the filling in a line down the centre, brush a side with some egg and roll the pastry to enclose. Slowly shape the log into a wreath, brushing the end with egg and pressing to close. Transfer to the fridge to set for about fifteen minutes.

Once the wreath has firmed up, cut the remaining pastry into strips. Brush the wreath with some egg, hatch the remaining pastry over the top for artistic flair – why the hell not, right? Brush with egg one final time, sprinkle with the sesame seeds and transfer the wreath to the oven to bake for about 45 minutes, or until golden and cooked through. Remove from the oven to rest for about 15 minutes before carving, serving and most importantly, devouring.


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