RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under

Kweensland Do(n)g

Burgers, Main, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars 1, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Global All Stars the top four took a back seat as the eliminated queens returned for the chance to be crowned the global lip sync assassin. Tragically, to only RuPaul songs. Two by two they battled off until only Soa and Gala remained. And while Gala continued to serve sex all over the stage – flooding all of the basements in the process – it was the iconic Soa who dominated, taking out the title. And most importantly, the $50k she so rightly deserved.

The next day the top four were primed and ready to compete for the crown, with Kween overwhelmed, hungry, horny and ready for the crown. No doubt because of Gala’s lip sync. Kitty was focused on the cash, ready to buy some wigs and go on holiday, while Nelly would like to help her family and make a difference. While Alyssa just mentioned she has been doing it for 23 years, which reminded Nelly that she is very old. Ru then dropped by to announce that for the final challenge of the season, the finalists would star in the music video for new drag anthem, Dance Like The World Is Watching. After writing and recording verses, and catching up over a tic tac lunch.

After Ru disappeared, the dolls split up to work through their lyrics with Kitty charmed by her own, Kween Kong was feeling like she was finally in her lane while Nelly was just bricking it about singing in English. Talk turned to the video clip with Alyssa opening up about loving performing with her kids at Beyond Belief and how she wants the choreo to be something they could do. She and Nelly spoke about how much they were looking forward to making their debut while Kween was just grateful to finally believe she deserves to be a finalist. Nelly started to break down, overwhelmed to be the last international queen standing and proud about how hard she has worked.

We pivoted to the tic tac lunches where Kitty opened up about feeling like she deserves to be here because she has had to fight hard to make it through every challenge. And that she is now ready for whatever is next in her career. She spoke about how much lip syncing lit a fire under her, never believing it whenever she heard that from other contestants. Nelly on the other hand was a ball of sweetness, hoping to be an inspiration for kids in Italy and proud to push through her nerves and self-doubt to make it to the end. Kween was so excited to have had a second chance at the competition, given she felt like the first season is what shaped her into the queen she is now. Before straight up bribing the judges with hand-made jewellery from her mum and aunties. Rounding out the chats was the one and only Alyssa Edwards and honestly, it felt like a victory lap. She admitted that she was worried that she would be competing against the judges expectations of what 23 years of experience should look like. Ru then started to break down calling her a star and yep, condragulations Alyssa, condragulations.

We pivoted to filming the TikTok numbers where Alyssa gave an OG Haus of Edwards dance, Kitty was keeping it simple, Nelly was hoping to challenge the children before Jamal helped remind Kween that she is a dancer, though the people at home are not, so she should keep it simple.

Coronation Day arrived with the top four splitting up to beat their mugs for the final time, with Alyssa giddy to have finally made it. Kween spoke about how shocked she is to be competing with Alyssa, while Kitty shared she would be happy with any of them winning. But happier for her, obvi. The eliminated queens then dropped by one final time, with Kween opening up to her sisters about how emotional she is given how far she has come since her first season. Nelly admitted that while she is an underdog for the crown, she is not going down without a fight before it all just became a love fest TBH.

Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by the iconic Ariadna Gutiérrez-Arévalo as the eliminated queens opened the Best Drag On Earth runway. Athena was absolutely stunning in a couture white gown and yeah, she ate as the sexiest jellyfish. Miranda was stunning in a vibrant blue feathered gown, Eva was a golden goddess phoenix, Soa was a gorgeous musketeer, Gala was a beautiful volcanic mess, Pythia was a glamorous three-headed dog, Vanity was a stunning, studded icon and Tessa looked like a pretty version of the ugly step-sisters. The top four then arrived to devour, with Alyssa giving a glamorous purple ruffled gown, giving all the leg. Kitty wore an ill-fitting pink vinyl gown inspired by Barbie, Kween gave Polynesian Princess and looked glorious, before Nelly closed the show in a sweet, puffy, lavender gown.

In the film clip, the inclusion of the Pit Crew made me super distracted but as usual, it was kinda cringe. Though they all did a solid job of the dancing, except for Kitty. 

The judges heaped Alyssa with all of the praise, reminding her that she set the bar back in week one and has met it every one since. And she did the best at creating a dance that people would be able to mimic at home. Kitty was praised for how much she has grown and elevated since her first season, and for having fun in the video. Kween was praised for giving all the swag on the video, and for being so open and vulnerable throughout the entire season. And for doing her family proud with her kindness and the way she wants to help the next generation. Nelly meanwhile was encouraged to always believe in herself because she proved, week after week, that she is a star.

Ru then challenged the girls to answer why the world needs drag more than ever. Alyssa spoke about how she wanted to inspire queer small town kids to believe. Kitty spoke about the freedom that comes from self-expression and how it opened up her world and filled it with so much joy. Kween spoke about the fact it builds a safe world for people like us, while Nehellenia spoke about the power it has.

Backstage the dolls were shocked to have done all that they could to make it to the final lip sync, with Alyssa toasting them for being such incredible competition and being on the journey with her. Though admitted this was her time. The eliminated queens joined them, with Kween talking about being in tears all day, given how kind the judges have been. Nelly was thrilled to be strong enough to make it to the end, while Kitty spoke about how hard it is to hear all the compliments.

Before we got to the final lip sync, we learnt that the eliminated dolls had one final crown to win – Miss Congeniality. Now known as Miss Global Peacemaker, which once again went to Soa De Muse, earning her another $10k. And honestly, it is what she deserves. After pushing the eliminated quens off stage, Ru announced that everyone in the top four would be lip syncing for the crown, solo, and damn were Alyssa and Kween fired up for that crown. As soon as my girl Gaga’s Bad Romance kicked off, they were spitting fire and hitting every line. While Kitty gave comedy and Nelly was busy stripping, it was clear the choreographers were desperate to win the crown. And win a crown one of them did, as the one and only, always and forever Alyssa Edwards was crowned. Leaving Down Under’s own Kween Kong to settle for being a double runner-up like her sister Hannah.

As she arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and congratulated her for making Australia and New Zealand proud. While she didn’t snatch the crown, she truly did dominate the season week after week – which is not something all of the finalist’s can say, despite placing in the top all season. She didn’t love me trash talking her sisters, but gave me her signature chuckle and thanked me for once again supporting her. I told her how great it was to see her so relaxed this season, and how it made her perform so much better. And more than earn a big, fat Kweensland Do(n)g.

While the name makes it sound super smutty, this is simply a hot dog. Which I guess is kinda smutty, but once again, I digress. The sticky, sweet chilli pineapple works perfectly with the smooth cream cheese and rich pork, warming your soul in the process.

Enjoy!

Kweensland Do(n)g
Serves: 2-4.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
400g can sliced pineapple slices, juices drained and reserved
½ cup muscovado sugar
2 red chillis, trimmed and sliced
1 tbsp apple cider vinegar
salt and pepper, to taste
4 hot dog rolls
4 thick pork sausages
½ cup cream cheese
2 shallots, sliced

Method
Pop the oil in frying pan over medium heat and cook the pineapple for a few minutes each side, until nice and charred and caramel. Remove from the heat and roughly chop.

In the same pan, add the sugar and pineapple juice, and stir until the sugar dissolves. Increase heat, bring to the boil and simmer for 5 minutes, or until it thickens and is a rich caramel. Add the chilli and stir for a minute, before adding the pineapple and vinegar. Remove from the heat, season and set aside.

While the pineapple rests, cook the sausages a few minutes each side over medium heat or until cooked through.

To assemble, split the buns, smear with some cream cheese, top with the sausages and a good sprinkle of the chilli and the shallots. Then wrap your lips around it and go to town. Also known as devouring.


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Sheeta Panaj Lemon Chicken

Main, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World 2, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World the dolls created an immersive experience for fans that promotes everything we love about the ever-expanding franchise, Drag Race World. While Scarlet was quickly able to identify this one as a branding challenge, and given she has a marketing degree, took control and absolutely slayed the game. Tia meanwhile tried desperately to keep Keta and Marina on task, in their group and while she was able to join Scarlet in the top, Keta was too much of a mess and landed in the bottom. With Jonbers, who was just flat as not a joke landed, while LGD and Hannah shone. In deliberations, Keta offered Tia some massages, while Jonbers worried that Scarlet was intimidated by her killer looks. Which may have been proven, as after Scarlet won the lip sync, she promptly booted Jonbers.

Backstage Scarlet was thrilled to finally grab her first solo win over the course of her three seasons, particularly since she felt sending a UK doll home was iconic. She felt her oats while cleaning the mirror, as Choriza felt that sending an icon like Jonbers home meant that the contest is really on. Keta thanked Scarlet for saving her, with Scarlet explaining her top performance in the ball is what tipped her over the edge, given she would like others to base decisions on her track record. Tia then tried to do a fake-out, pretending that she voted for Keta, before admitting that she too would have sent Jonbers home given she literally was just in the top two and has been slaying. Also, as she told us, eliminating one of the UK dolls means the target on her, Choriza and Gothy, is that much smaller with Jonbers gone.

The next day the mood was honestly full party mode as the dolls conga-ed into another week, while Marina just modelled, given she is an icon. The three victors showed off their badges as Hannah joked about being the queen of the safe club and as such, was grateful her target wasn’t so large. Ru then dropped by and quickly announced that this week the dolls would be playing the Snatch Game. Family Edition. Which obviously filled Tia with dread, given it is the challenge she went home. And as the winner of last week’s challenge, Scarlet had the power to select her family.

Everyone sat down to talk through the challenge, with Hannah, LGD and Keta proudly being past winners, while Choriza and Tia were terrified, given it was the challenge they went home on. Marina was happy with her OG performance, which is iconic to those in the Philippines, while Gothy and Scarlet were about to lose their Snatch Game virginity, and were equal parts nervous and excited. With that out of the way, Scarlet picked her family, going with Hannah, Choriza and Tia. Leaving the three ESL queens together, and Gothy, who is super shy, which feels shady. Which I love and hate. The families split up, with Scarlet announcing she will be making her debut as the Statue of Liberty, Tia was going with Anne Boleyn, while Choriza was going to be Henry VIII’s first wife, Catherine of Aragon.

Before we could learn who Hannah was doing, Ru dropped by to kiki, laughing at Tia finally jagging a win before she announced she will be Anne Boleyn, which delighted Ru. As Tia vowed to smash it out of the park. LGD was going with Carla Bruni, which made Ru nervous, as the double French accent was becoming hard to understand. Marina is following Melinda Verga’s footsteps with some Manny Pacquiao, while Ru was equally delighted by Choriza’s choice to play Catherine of Aragon. Which is good that she is Spanish, because her English accent isn’t great. Though better than Marina’s TBH, but damn they are charming. Keta will be bringing Fran Drescher, while Hannah is following in Jimbo’s footsteps as Shirley Temple. But make it Megan the doll. Side note: both of these repeats were filmed BEFORE the others aired, so these are not copycats, ok? Ru was delighted by Scarlet’s choice of Statue of Liberty and a little nervous for Gothy giving Kim Woodburn. And ugh, her nerves are going to get to her and I hate it.

We ventured to the Snatch Game: Family Edition set as Team Scarlet were led by Sinitta, while the rest were led by guest Jane McDonald. Team McDonald all stuck with their OG choices, with LGD cute, Keta started off strong, but lacked the jokes while Marina, like Melinda, was an icon as Manny. And poor Gothy just straight up bombed. Team Sinitta also stuck with their plans where Hannah was demented – though not as demented as Jimbo, obvi – Scarlet was iconic, Choriza was glorious and Tia stole the show holding her own head in her hands. Tragically the international girls all really struggled competing in their second language, though thankfully Marina did land a few killer blows. Scarlet was a powerhouse and Choriza filthy, though it was Tia and Hannah who really owned Snatch Game, hopefully leaving us with another two-time victor and some much needed rudemption.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls in varying moods as Hannah was feeling her oats, Scarlet was thrilled to do a good job on her first go, while Gothy knew she bombed and felt she did worse than she even thought possible. Keta too, knew she bombed, while LGD knew their family were far and away the shittest. Knowing they need to do a good job, the dolls split up to get ready for their runways to hopefully save them. Talk turned to the dating scenes in their respective countries, with LGD opening up about being a romantic, though looking forward to being a little looser too. Marina admitted that she is perennially single, given there is too much beauty. Hannah joked about importing her favourite d, her Geordie boyfriend. While Scarlet and Gothy just desperately wanted to have a loving drag husband. Gothy opened up about not knowing who she is and how can’t love someone else until she figures it out and ugh, Gothy is just such a sweet, tragic figure in the franchise. Isn’t she?

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined on the panel by knitting king Tom Daley as the dolls stomped the runway in Gone Cruisin’ looks. Keta gave patchwork pirate and ugh, she looked so stunning I mean, she even had an anchor nipple ring. Choriza was gorgeous in a blue and white latex mini with tentacles, LGD gave high fashion genuine sailor stripes in Gaultier, while Scarlet gave first class victim of the Titanic and Gothy gave baby Birth of Venus in the cutest way possible. Hannah gave Picnic at Hanging Rock on the ocean, but made it nightgown, Tia gave Ozempic Ursula – aka Karen the Kraken – and Marina closed the show with water heels and titties as a straight up sexy boat. And yeah, it was another slay.

Choriza and Marina were sent to safety before Keta was read for only just giving a laugh, and lacking the energy and fun of Fran. Which was tragically all there in her runway, which was excellence upon excellence. Tia meanwhile got wall to wall praise for being stupid and smart in equal measure as Anne Boleyn, and they also loved the runway, despite its simplicity. They wished LGD gave more and had fun, though obviously lived for her straight up perfect runway. Scarlet was praised for doing a solid job and looking perfect as Rose without her door from Titanic. Poor Gothy was read for just giving nothing in Snatch Game, and being too simple on the runway. While Hannah received wall to wall praise for being dumb and manic, and looking stunning.

Ultimately Tia and Hannah were deemed the top two of the week, and Scarlet and LGD were sent to safety leaving Keta Minaj and Gothy Kendoll up for elimination. Backstage Hannah and Tia were feeling their oats, while Choriza was gutted to be the new queen of the safe club. Tia opened up about how weird it is to be winning challenges, while Hannah was sad to elect a new president for her club in Choriza. Everyone spoke about how stunning LGD’s runway is, though they laughed about her choice of pizza boxer briefs underneath. Hannah checked in with Gothy whole was weeping quiet tears, while Keta was more upbeat about her bomb. Scarlet clocked Gothy for deciding she will be bad and as such, being bad in all the challenges.

Hannah caught up with Gothy to let her know how much she loves her, with Gothy talking about how difficult the contest is and how it keeps her stuck in her head. Hannah tried to get the fight from her, asking what Gothy needs to succeed. Though she seemed too broken to muster a tangible answer. Tia told Keta how strong she knows she is, though also noted that she has now been in the bottom twice in a row. They traded places with Keta telling Hannah that while she isn’t funny, she has a fire to be here and is ready to fight. Which both delighted and made Hannah scared that she could beat her in the end. Gothy spoke to Tia about how much the competition means to her, though worried about how she will be able to apply the judges feedback. With Tia straight up asking if she can cut it, or whether she should eliminate her as Keta is ready to fight each and every episode.

After Tia and Hannah selected their lipsticks, they ventured back to the mainstage as Ru pulled out the wireless and popped on Alcazar’s Crying at the Discotheque. And damn, the dolls turned a show. Though like Jimbo before her, Hannah tragically failed by not lip syncing as Shirley Temple. So while she hit every lyric and gave sex, Tia gave camp and emotion in equal measure, which was all it took to take out victory and claim her first badge. And then promptly saved her UK sister and showed Keta the door.

As Keta arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that while she was robbed, it still remains the best way to go if you’re going to place in the middle of the pack. Which she eventually agreed was true. I mean, look what happened to Pangina and Jimbo? Universally beloved and everyone is gagging for more, while Jujubee stayed consistent and made it to the end, but with a whimper and now we can’t have her back every year or so. Which honestly, is a travesty. I went on this exact rant with Keta and while she got bored in the middle, I brought it back to her situation and how bright her future may be. Which cheered her up as much as eating a big ol’ Sheeta Panaj Lemon Chicken.

This is the perfect mid-week meal, for when you need something warm and comforting, but are also close to tears as the weight of work and life gets to you. What, just me? Oh well, try it on a Wednesday night and you will understand.

Enjoy!

Sheeta Panaj Lemon Chicken
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1kg chicken breasts, diced
¼ cup extra virgin olive oil
8 cloves garlic, minced
1 tbsp smoked paprika
2 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp chilli flakes
1 tsp dried oregano
¼ tsp cinnamon
¼ tsp ground coriander seeds
kosher salt and black pepper
2 sweet potatoes, cut into thick chips
200g Jaida Essence Halloumi, sliced
1 lemon, quartered
1 cucumber, sliced
1 batch Aileen Choddess Dressing
1 cup Sierra Dawn-Hummus
4 Pita Andre Breads

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C. 

In a bowl, toss together the chicken with half the oil, the garlic, paprika, cumin, chilli, oregano, cinnamon, coriander, and a pinch of salt. 

While that does a quick little marinade, toss the sweet potato in the remaining oil with a good whack of salt and pepper. Spread on a lined baking sheet and pop in the oven for 15 minutes. Remove from the oven, flip and push to one end, adding the chicken, halloumi and lemon. Return to the oven to bake for a further 20 minutes, or until the chicken is golden and the chips crispy.

To serve, line a bowl with the Aileen Choddess Dressing, divide the chicken, chips and halloumi, dollop over the hummus, sprinkle with cucumber coins and squeeze over the caramelised lemon. Then devour, greedily, with a pita.


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Salted Peanut Caramel Jonbars Blonde

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World 2, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World the dolls were tasked with throwing a little Happy Endings Ball. By Michelle, no less, given Ru was busy recovering from the flu, or something. I am not a doctor. In any event, the first two categories were generally slays across the board. However the third and final category required them to pull together a look from scratch, and that is where things went a little wild. While LGD and Keta dominated and created beautiful gowns, Hannah had to rely on charm to carry her dress through, while Choriza just chose a hideous fabric and Arantxa was basic. Ultimately a recovered Ru decreed that LGD dominated the lip sync, and despite concerns about a UK alliance, opted to be fair and send home the iconic Arantxa. Breaking all of our hearts in the process.

Backstage LGD was thrilled to have her first badge, though gutted to have been the one to send sweet Arantxa home. Choriza, meanwhile, was heartbroken that her best friend’s run was cut so short, though grateful that the world would get to know who she is. Whether they could pronounce her name or not. Everyone congratulated LGD on her win, with her explaining that she didn’t save Arantxa as she felt she did worse in the challenge and that is how she is playing. While Tia was concerned Choriza rallying against her friend means they need to watch out for her. Talk turned to who Keta voted for, with her revealing she had Choriza’s lipstick, given without Arantxa, she wouldn’t have even had an outfit. Though everyone just assumed she was voting because she was more of a threat. Which Scarlet argued is how they should all be playing. Which obviously made everyone nervous.

The next day Gothy was thrilled to be continuing to break records by surviving two eliminations. After briefly admiring LGD’s new hardware, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be designing immersive experience attractions in Drag Race World, and then starring in a commercial to sell it to us in teams of three. As the tops and bottoms of last week, LGD, Keta and Choriza were deemed team captains, with LGD selecting Hannah and Jonbers, Keta opting for Tia and Marina, while Choriza selected Scarlet and was left with poor old, record-breaking Gothy. 

After Ru departed they split up into their teams to come up with concepts. Team Choriza got to it after she and Scarlet gave Gothy a pep talk about going from being the last pick to winning the challenge, which both of them managed on their OG seasons. Choriza had bigger fish to fry, though, as the green screen in UK Season 3 was so bad it resulted in nobody winning the challenge, which is yet another Drag Race record. Scarlet meanwhile took control, ideating and executing like an advertising icon, thrilled to finally get a chance to put her advertising degree to good use. Over at Team Keta, they were hoping to highlight their different countries as Tia tried to get them to potentially do the challenge instead. Team LGD learned about Hannah’s slutty ways, as she suggested Hannah’s Cove as an option, given that was what they called the back-room at the clubs. Jonbers was leaning into Ireland, while LGD was filling her attraction with her entourage, giving people the chance to meet someone that has met her. Which is iconic.

Ru made her return to kiki, with Team Keta talking through their two-thirds travel ad, complete with trauma from Tia to bring it back to the franchise. With Tia putting her UN experience to good use, it seems. Team Choriza, meanwhile, were completely on track, as they clocked this challenge as being all about branding, as Scarlet wisely found out how Ru sees her and opted to lean all the way into that. And is she the winner and the drama? Team LGD meanwhile had Ru giggling from start to finish, thanks in no small part to Hannah talking about feeling comfortable in the UK because you are what you eat. And her husband is British. Begging the question, did I love her in Down Under or is she just killing it this season? The teams regrouped to go through the feedback and figure out how to enhance their concepts. While LGD and Choriza’s gangs were thriving, Team Keta began to spiral, as Tia desperately tried to pull them together and get them to deliver on the task.

Team Choriza were first up to film with Michelle as Scarlet got it all done in one shot, slaying the game and feeling her oats. Gothy too was loving herself sick, giving the Brit Crew a bukkake party, despite Michelle cautioning they don’t need another cum joke in the franchise. While Choriza was just kiking with the girls. Team Keta went with an airline theme, with Tia terrified about her fellow dolls. And while Marina got a few chuckles, Keta was a bit of a mess. And by a bit, a lot. Thankfully, Tia was a star, nailing every moment and being an all around delight. Team LGD meanwhile brought a little chaos as LGD struggled with her lines, which is fair, given English is her second language. Plus, the scenes were weird and I love them. Given she ran over, Hannah powered through on the fly leaving Jonbers a little more time for her scenes, which are either terrible, or the fake out. But either way, she wasn’t happy with LGD.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to beat their mugs as Hannah ockered it up as she told Tia about having to cram in her time filming. LGD told the dolls that she really struggled and knows she took up a lot of time, which clearly bothered Jonbers, who wished she had way more. Keta whispered to Marina that she thinks they did well, with Marina just blindly hoping, given she hasn’t had those sort of immersive experiences, given the queer community isn’t supported or even protected in the Philippines. LGD opened up about being a victim of a hate crime in Nice and given the police did nothing about it, she opted to move to a bigger city, Paris, for safety. Because even when the law is with us, getting justice is really hard. Which feels that little bit more poignant to hear after the tragic murders in Sydney. Leading to Jonbers reminding the world at large that it is easier to love than it is to hate, as Hannah begged them all to never get complacent.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined on the panel by the iconic Kim Petras as the dolls stomped the Ruveal Yourself runway. Which LGD owned from the first moment, going from Miss France to Miss Piss. Choriza went from Marge Simpson to slutty Marge Simpson, complete with blue bush. Tia went from Ru to Ru to Ru and hot damn, she looked good. Marina gave a dramatic erupting volcano before revealing a lava gown and yes, it was another slay. Keta went from pantsuit to pantsuit, to a burning purple witch, Hannah gave pope to showgirl and yeah, it was fun, before Jonbers gave the full rainbow to pot of gold journey. Scarlet went from white coat to orange shimmering gown before Gothy slayed in a quilted pink, mod mini, before stripping down to show off the twins. Literally.

When it came to the Drag World commercials, Team Keta’s was an absolute mess, well, Keta, anyway. As Marina and Tia arrived to serve the task and had the judges giggling, despite the Keta confusion. Team LGD’s was far more cohesive, as the dolls played off each other, had a narrative and TBH, were delightful. Hannah in particular, who was demented, doing the most with the absolute lack of time she had to film. While Jonbers closed the ad with a fizzle, sadly. They saved the best for last, however, as Team Choriza were lucky to have Scarlet’s expertise, as they gave fun, leant into the show and to quote Law Roach, did, what needed, to be done. Each and every one of them.

Marina, Hannah and Choriza were sent to safety at the back of the stage before the judges praised everything Tia did this week. Particularly given she was the star of her ad, Alan finally gets her and she leans into her brand at all times. Keta on the other hand was praised for her runway, though read for being a mess in the challenge, despite the fact she lived for her own ideas. LGD was read for being too awkward in the challenge, which I would argue was the point, proving she is the best person on the cast. Thankfully, they also lived for her pissing pants reveal runway. Jonbers was read for being too confusing in the experience and for not having any jokes, though they lived for the runway. Scarlet received wall-to-wall praise for the immersive experience and for dragging her team through, despite them wishing the reveal was more of a reveal, though they agreed it was stunning. While Gothy finally got her roses for zigging when they expected her to zag in the experience, and for giving a fun look and presentation. Which again, they loved.

Tia and Scarlet were named the top two of the week before Gothy and LGD were sent to safety, leaving Keta and Jonbers up for elimination. Backstage the dolls grabbed their drinks and toasted Tia and Scarlet on their success, as they worried about having to send someone home. Keta was obviously gutted, while Jonbers continued to complain about not having enough time to shoot. LGD hilariously just told her that her material wasn’t great. Before it exploded, the tops took a bottom each, as Keta praised Scarlet for being so stunning and lovely, joking that villains should stick together. While Scarlet worried she should send home the bigger threat, which would be Keta. Jonbers, meanwhile, was crying as she asked Tia to save her because she desperately wants it. As Tia mentioned she just wants to compete against the best, whoever that is. The safe girls talked through what they would do, with everyone saying it is Keta’s time, except for LGD, given they were in a team.

The bottoms switched places as Keta charmed Tia, despite her gut telling her that she would always save Jonbers. Tia told us that while Keta was a dud leader, she did brand herself, which was the task, so to her, she wasn’t the worst. Scarlet meanwhile praised Jonbers for being a fashion queen and looking gorgeous, though it also sounded like she was praising her as a consolation prize. Tia and Scarlet selected their lipsticks and made their way back to the mainstage to do battle. To Kim Petras’ own, Future Starts Now. Both the dolls gave a very classic Drag Race lip sync performance, though it was clear Scarlet had a fire in her, so that by the time she air-kicked Tia, it was only fair she took out the win. Before promptly sending Jonbers out the door and back to Northern Ireland.

As Jonbers sadly arrived backstage, I probably shouldn’t have screamed out “JB in the house ya’ll” like I was at a football game. But I did. And after apologising for a couple of hours, Jonbers eventually forgave me and we were able to toast a fun little run. While she may have only lasted a few episodes, I assured her she still showed growth and honestly, going out a little robbed is still better than lasting long enough to become the villain. Which, TBH, happens to the best of us. Thankfully, that was all it took to get our friendship back on track and allow us to have a craic. Whilst also smashing a delicious batch of Salted Peanut Caramel Jonbars Blonde.

Part caramel slice, part snickers, this glorious little treat is oh, so decadent. Viciously sweet with a glorious earthy crunch of the salty peanuts, it is the perfect snack to dull any and all pain. Like going from the Top Four to the third out.

Enjoy!

Salted Peanut Caramel Jonbars Blonde
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
1 cup flour
1 cup muscovado sugar
½ cup desiccated coconut
185g butter, melted
395g sweetened condensed milk
¼ cup golden syrup
2 tbsp crunchy peanut butter
100g unsalted butter
1 cup salted roasted peanuts

Method
Preheat the oven to 180°C, and line a 3cm deep slice pan.

Pop the flour, half the muscovado sugar and coconut in a bowl and stir in 125g of melted butter, until well combined. Transfer the mixture into the pan, press into the pan to form and base and pop in the oven to bake for 15 minutes.

While that bakes, combine the remaining melted butter in a pan with the condensed milk, half the golden syrup and the peanut butter. Cook, stirring, over medium heat for 8 minutes, or until golden. Pour over the base when it is cooked, return to the oven and bake for a further 10 minutes. Remove from the oven and leave to rest.

Finally, while the filling sets, place the remaining sugar, golden syrup and unsalted butter in a pan over medium heat. Cook, stirring, for 5 minutes, or until the sugar has dissolved and it has started to thicken. Remove from the heat, stir in peanuts and pour over the base. Return to the oven and back for another 10 minutes, or until golden and cooked.

Remove from the oven and allow to cool completely before slicing. And then devouring, like an icon.


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Arantxa Castilla-La Mash & Fries

RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World 2, Side, Snack, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World 11 queens from across the globe descended on the UK, ready to prove themselves to be the fairest of them all. Or, you know, the second best of the top four, but I digress. Immediately Ru threw down the gauntlet, making them star in a little Queens’ Variety Show. I assume to mark Chuckie’s coronation, but again, I’ve digressed. When it came to the performances, Mayhem found herself hilarious and forgot the rest, Marina was an ICON, Gothy lacked power as she literally ate fire while Le Grand Dame was stupid in the best way. When Gothy and Mayhem landed in the bottom, it was up to Marina and LGD to choose who to send home before Marina won the ultimate power. And promptly sent Mayhem straight back to Riverside, ending the run of all US dolls making it to the end of Vs the World seasons.

Backstage Tia was shocked that Mayhem was gone, despite the fact she clearly bombed the talent show. Funny and iconic, but a total bomb. After the dolls congratulated Marina, she explained that she sent home the legend because she just wants to give Gothy the chance to actually shine, given they have all had the full experience. Oh and then she made a joke about how poor taste it was to wipe off the message, given she is a Filipina cleaning a mirror in the UK. Again, she is an icon. Gothy meanwhile was on cloud nine to have made it to the second episode and ugh, her joy truly is super cute. Hannah, being Australian, asked LGD to share who she had voted for, with her agreeing she voted to get rid of Mayhem as she wants the world to get the chance to fall in love with Mayhem. Like Arantxa, who spoke about how emotional she is to be among this cast, as LGD reminded her it may be her hormones.

Oh and then the UK dolls caught up to strategise, with Hannah loudly and hilariously pointing out the alliance was meeting. As the holiday makers pointed out they outnumber the UK girlies, warning that they best be careful.

The next day Marina unveiled her gold badge and while LGD was a little jealous, she assured us she will be the next to jag one, so wasn’t overly bothered. Scarlet pointed out that given four UK girls are around, they should be nervous about being the targets. Though Choriza pointed out that the first elimination actually calmed her, given it is clear they are playing fairly. Tia meanwhile was too happy about having walked the runway in front of Ru in a nice outfit for the first time to care. Which, lol, is iconic. Michelle then dropped by to put the girls through their paces in an itty bitty quiz mini challenge with the most glorious of Brit Crew members. Everyone decreed Marina the Fairest in the Land, Shadiest was named as Hannah – doing Down Under proud, obvi –  Mightiest (aka Biggest Competition) was also named Marina while Neediest was Arantxa, aka most in Need of some new Drag. Which pissed off Jonbers, given she got three votes, which she obviously felt wasn’t fair.

But over to the maxi challenge, which Michelle announced was the ball. And not just any ball, but The Happy Endings Ball. First category they would walk in their Lady Prince Charming looks, in category two they would serve She-vil Queen, while finally, they would walk in Drags to Riches Eleganza, which they would make using scraps of fabric left behind by the Brit Crew. Since the dolls felt Arantxa was needy, she got an extra 10 seconds to grab at it before the rest of the dolls joined the fray. And as is tradition, create absolute chaos. Choriza was busy hoarding literally everything, leaving Tia was next to nothing. Which obviously made her nervous, given sewing challenges are really not her jam. 

Hannah pulled together a bunch of knitted mice, hoping they would help her through, given she is a hot glue gun queen. She then caught up with Jonbers, who eventually admitted she was pressed, so put it to the crowd. WIth Marina straight up admitting to it, before Gothy eventually zoned-in and claimed the second one while the third person stayed silent. Until they all started listing their votes, forcing Choriza to admit it was her. With a laugh. Everyone got busy working away and bartering fabrics, as LGD opened up about coming so close to winning the ball in her first season – thanks Paloma – that she is looking for redemption. She caught up with Tia, flirting hard to try and get fabric, while Tia was just wanting her to get it.

Michelle interrupted before it became BBC after dark, with Marina sharing she would make a shimmering mermaid gown and while it is a big task, she is confident in herself. And hot glue. While Scarlet was going classic Cinderella. Hannah was excited to go with something shimmering and neon, while Keta was going dark and moody, Gothy was looking forward to putting her fashion background to use to serve pastels, LGD was the polar opposite, going with futuristic shimmering gold and ugh, I love her. Arantxa meanwhile was looking forward to serving Wednesday Addams at the prom realness, opening up about how her style is missing because she never got the chance to trial as a teen girl, in honour of the woman she has always been, given she missed out on those milestones after transitioning as an adult. Tia meanwhile was going full glamour in cherry red velvet, Choriza was looking forward to another owl shitting in her eye and Jonbers was vibing on an 80s Lacroix inspired number.

Michelle then asked if the UK dolls will be sticking together, with Jonbers straight up saying they will. Sadly for her, in front of everyone. After Michelle left, Tia opened up about her design being dedicated to Cherry Valentine, given she knows that if she was still here, she would be an All Star by now. And ugh, I just want to hug her and Cherry, as the entire situation is tragic. But Tia slaying the ball in her honour is all I care about now.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone splitting up to put the finishing touches on their looks. Except for Hannah, who felt she was done. I assume emotionally, as the gown is straight up trash, so hopefully her charm sells it. Arantxa’s look was held together with safety pins and a prayer. Scarlet obviously put being a third timer to good use, giving the dolls a pep talk to sell the garment, if nothing else. Even if their looks are mediocre.

Ru recovered enough to appear on the panel alongside Michelle, Graham and Adwoa Aboah as the dolls opened The Happy Endings Ball in their Lady Prince Charming looks. Hannah was camp as hell, giving Better Midler as Prince Charming in Shrek 2, Jonbers was a glorious plaid prancer while Arantxa was a cute Bowie. Tia gave glam Robin Hood realness, LGD was stunning in a high fashion blue suit giving the silliest faces and sound effects as she ran the railroads in Gaultier, Scarlet was a half-stripped warrior in white and Keta was a glorious knight. Gothy served a stunning twink in a little floral number, Marina was perfect as an underwater prince before Choriza gave a moody matador Dali. And yeah, it was a slay.

On the She-Vil Queens runway, Hannah cackled away in a classic black and navy gown serving nothing but drama. Jonbers was glorious in a slutty dragon look, Arantxa gave Mean Girls devil, Tia’s gown dedicated to Cherry’s promo look was perfect, emotional and ugh, she should really be proud of herself. LGD then came out as an alien queen, obviously serving wacky noises, Scarlet was green, moody and powerful, before Keta literally rode the dragon all over the runway and ugh, it was funny. And I love it. Gothy was monochromatic and glam as Daphne Guiness, Marina served Dugong realness and lets just say, it was so weird and I love it. While Choriza was smoking and purple, as the upcycled owl from Season 3. Obscuring all the views in the process.

Closing it out with their Drags to Riches Eleganza, Hannah was a total mess, though TBH, not as bad as I was expecting. Jonbers looked good in a shimmering ruffled number, Arantxa was a cute goth teen, Tia gave glamour in a gown, which honestly is above adequate and LGD was a straight up golden goddess and just give her the win now, please! Scarlet revealed her gorgeous Cinderella gown, complete with the Season 1 filter reveal, Keta was a gorgeous dame, kinda giving Narcissa Malfoy. Gothy was puffy pink perfection and damn, this is the rudemption she was looking for, and I love it. Marina was beautiful in her gown which honestly looks better made then her first look before Chroiza closed the show as the ugly step sisters, complete with dead owl in a cage.

Jonbers, Tia, Scarlet and Gothy were sent to safety at the back of the stage before the judges praised Hannah for her charm and personality, though read the final look for being ugly. Despite feeling it was a little fun. Arantxa was essentially read for not giving enough when it came to the details, though she was proud to have a chance to bully for once and ugh, I love her. LGD received wall to wall praise, obviously, because she is perfection. Keta too was absolutely beloved for giving glamour, polish and jokes, finally letting the judges see her personality. Marina once again was beloved, despite the judges feeling like the first look didn’t exactly make sense for the category. And they had no idea who Dugong was. Choriza meanwhile was praised for having all the ideas, though read for a bunch of fit issues. Particularly the last one, which was just too basic.

Ultimately Le Grand Dame and Keta Minaj were named the top two of the week, Marina and Hannah were safe, leaving Arantxa and Choriza up for elimination. Backstage the queens congratulated the top two, with Keta joking it just feels correct. Even though it is simply a fact. Keta praised all the girls for doing a good job, before Choriza and Arantxa spoke about how much it sucks to be in the bottom with their bestie. Keta caught up with Arantxa, thanking her for giving her the pattern for her dress. Arantxa spoke about how excited she is to represent the trans community, not wanting it to end. Meanwhile Choriza opened up to LGD about how she is friends with Arantxa, though knows she did better than her sister. LGD meanwhile only cared that if a UK queen lands in the bottom and deserves to go, Choriza would send the right girl home. 

The safe girls were kikiing, with Scarlet hoping Choriza goes given she is more competition. Once again confirming she is the drama. Arantxa really drove home the potential UK alliance to LGD, while reiterating how close they have gotten. Choriza took her no alliance message to Keta, reiterating she has nothing to worry about. While neither doll really could tell where Keta stands, given she has an epic poker face. Or doesn’t care.

After selecting their lipsticks, Keta and Le Grand Dame took their places on the stage. As Cascada’s Everytime We Touch kicked off, it was clear LGD was desperate to jag her first win, hitting every letter, giving all the energy, drama and camp and ugh, again, I love her. How is someone that perfect also so damn stupid and weird?! While Keta was a killer lip syncer, just as she promised, Ru loves to laugh and as such, LGD rightly took out victory. And then promptly sent sweet Arantxa home. After sobbing in Choriza’s arms, that is.

She then followed the sound of my sobs backstage before I jumped into her arms. Arantxa held me for the hours it took for me to calm down, before I was finally able to spit out how proud of her I was. Despite being the second boot and robbing us of a season full of joy, Arantxa’s two episodes showed how much of a delight she is, and hopefully, earned her a spot on a future All Stars season as you know that glow up is going to be epic. And until then, we have Arantxa Castilla-La Mash & Fries.

Credit to this delight goes to Antoni Porowski, who was brave enough to think, there isn’t enough potato if you have mash or chips, so why not combine them! And ugh, it is perfection. Particularly with a hearty kick of sour cream and chives.

Enjoy!

Arantxa Castilla-La Mash & Fries
Serves: 2 dear friends slash icons.

Ingredients
1 batch Jud Beerza Battered Fries
500g russet potatoes, peeled and cut into 2cm chunks
3 tbsp unsalted butter
120g sour cream
120ml milk
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
2 tbsp chives, finely sliced

Method
Prep the fries as per Jud’s recipe.

While those are underway, pot the potatoes in a large pot of salted water and bring to the boil over high heat. Once rollicking, reduce slightly and boil for 10-15 minutes, or until tender. Drain and return to the pan, cover with the lid and place over the turned-off hob to steam for a minute.

Add the butter to the pan with a good whack of salt and pepper, and mash until smooth. Stir in the sour cream and milk, and return to a low heat to cook through, adjusting the seasoning as required.

To serve, dish the mash into a bowl, top with fries and a sprinkle of chives. And then, devour.


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Mayham & Cheese Pithivller

Breakfast, Main, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World 9 queens from around the globe booked their tickets to the UK for the first franchise-crossing battle. Kinda like the Avengers for the gays or Ultimate Girls Trip for performers. And let’s just say, it started with a bang as Jimbo, Pangina and Janey demolished the first half of the season and put their little franchises on the map. Tragically, however, they went back-to-back-to-back, leaving four of the five Ru girls in the cast to make it to the finale in the form of Juju, Baga, Blu and Mo Heart. And despite Mo being Mo and Blu being Blu, the little doll that could from Northern Ireland won the lip sync for the crown and found herself the inaugural Queen of the Mothertucking World.

Not to be confused with the Queen of the Motherpucking World.

First to make their triumphant return this go around is the icon of UK Season 2, Tia Kofi, who was puzzled by being invited back despite the fact she is a killer confessionalist. She was joined by Down Under’s own Hannah Conda and yeah, she is ready to have some fun this year and I look forward to her kicking it in the dick once more. Arantxa rang in her own arrival from Spain, literally, giving charm, fun and yes, I am here for everything about her. Arantxa quickly opened up about coming out as trans since her OG season before a very hard pivot into talking about the fact she is not actually sure whether Ru exists. Which is relatable. Mayhem Miller was next to arrive, questioning why she opted to come back, even though we know she just wants to bring the party.

Next up, Choriza bought the sausage to represent the UK with a little of her heart left in Spain. Oh and she is vibing for her own glow up and is ready to thrive, giving Nadja from What We Do In The Shadows energy. La Grande Dame gave the most iconic entry of all time, screaming France. And yeah, Ru is going to love her because she is stupid. While also being so damn gorgeous. Marina Summers came in representing the Philippines and given she looks like that, and is ready to chop the colonizers, I am here for everything about her. JB is once again in the house and is still a delusional delight, so werk queen. They were joined by Holland’s own Keta Minaj and hot damn, I forgot how hot she was. Choke me daddy, etc. Scarlet Envy arrived dripping in red, ready to act up a storm, turn tricks and grab a crown. All while being the drama. And then rounding out the cast was the UK’s very own Porkchop, Gothy Kendoll – roar – looking more expensive than 50P.

As the dolls kikied, a surprise 12th queen was unveiled as Raven stomped the runway. Though after she realised Jujubee was missing, she stepped aside and instead introduced RuPaul before going back to her home backstage. For the non Ru girls, they were overwhelmed to finally get in front of the mother of the franchise, as she assured them it would be a fair playing field for all. Despite how last season made it look. After recapping the rules – top two lip sync for the win and eliminate one of the bottom queens – she then gagged them by announcing that for the first time in UK herstory, the winner would bag herself 50,000 pounds. She then added that for their first maxi challenge, they would be performing in the Queens’ Variety Show before disappearing to hang with Raven and Michelle.

The dolls finally made it to the Werk Room where Hannah was gagged by the sheer size of it – obviously – before they grabbed their bags, found a station and began de-dragging. Hannah caught up with Marina, La Grande Dame, Keta and Jonbers, asking if the money changed the way they were planning to play the game. On the other side of the room, Team USA were busy gossiping, with Mayhem not sure about anyone’s name, as Scarlet marvelled at how good Hannah looked. Though admitted everyone looked good. Well, almost everyone, as she looked Mayhem up and down.  Hannah and La Grande Dame were quickly became friends, while Arantxa, Marina and Keta were bonding over being the sole girls of their franchises and hoping to find a way to have fun and give themselves. Team UK quickly locked in an alliance before they realised they only had one challenge win between them. Which is ironic. Even more so, since they found it so funny. Assuming it proves that personality clearly took them far.

Which Gothy giggled at, given she is literally the Porkchop of UK.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone buzzing as they split up to get prepared for the talent show. With Tia continuing to be the most relatable, hoping it isn’t just 11 lip syncs, as that is always boring. Keta and Marina, meanwhile, were looking forward to representing their countries and putting Filipino and Dutch drag on the map. Hannah was excited to do her first talent show, while Mayhem was just hoping to not forget the lyrics to her performance like she did during her first one. She opened up to Hannah about how she has had to pivot her drag style due to long COVID, so the dolls may be surprised by her number. While Hannah assured her she is confident she will kick it in the dick, given she is an icon who essentially runs L.A. That being said, she may be an icon, but the colloquialisms of our fair country seem to have confused her, as she wondered how a kick to the dick could possibly be a good thing. Jonbers and Scarlett meanwhile admitted they were planning to give Ru all the comedy, knowing that is key to making it far.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by honorary gay icon Richard E. Grant as Choriza opened the Queens’ Variety Show with all the energy as she gave a very Spanish lip sync to her original song. Which was kinda like Adriana from Real Housewives of Miami, but gayer and more fun. Scarlet meanwhile did a little boudoir song and dance about dishing out bad advice and lies, which was so fun and cute. La Grande Dame’s talent was hard to describe, as she gave weird noises and beats, bad dancing and then a runway and yeah, it was stunning. Like, so demented and so stunning. Gothy meanwhile lip synced to an original song before offering a literal glow up as she danced with and ate fire. Shocking even herself in the process. Marina then brought down the house with a stunning lip sync to her own song. She hit every line, she vogued, she twirled ribbons and the song was a legitimate bop. So yeah, just hand her the win, ok?

Keta gave a demented Alice in Wonderland performance which was trippy perfection before lip syncing, flipping and giving reveal after reveal. And even gymnastics. And it was special, k? Mayhem then gave the polar opposite, giving a comedic guided meditation. That is until she started giggling at the second joke and straight up forgot the rest of her lines. Hannah then gave legit talent, tickling the ivories and singing live and hot damn, when did she become charming? Oh, wait, the piano was a fake out. Though the song and singing were great, so well done. Jonbers then gave a song about fashion, like Milk’s talent, if Milk was funny. Arantxa meanwhile played into the fact nobody can say her name with a dream state orgasm while lying on the pit crew as she called everyone idiots. And yeah, I love it. Tia then sang live too and honestly, it was a bop. I mean, aside from Mayhem, was this just good across the board?

On the Queen and Country runway, Scarlet did an ode to Drop Dead Gorgeous with the Mount Ru-shmore headpiece and yeah, give her a win for that alone, TBH. Keta was perfect as a milk maid who can milk me, right now, please. She then revealed an Indonesian witch and yeah, Holland is always going to give us everything. Jonbers meanwhile served slutty leprechaun, complete with a clover headpiece, Arantxa was a delightfully pink flamenco doll that you sit on the TV, apparently. Tia meanwhile served her first stunning look as she rocked a glamorous gown combining her Nigerian and UK roots.

Marina was perfection in a glamorous rice farmer inspired look, Choriza served Ru Britannia as a knight and Mayhem gave Lady Liberty, serving all the curves. Gothy was then adorable as she served King’s Guard, while also clearly being in awe of the fact she was invited back for a second go. La Grande Dame was perfection in a gown of a frog killed by the Eiffel Tour. Before Hannah gave a Priscilla inspired frill-neck lizard, which showcased first nations artists and called for a treaty. Once again reminding us she has learnt and grown from her past mistakes.

Keta, Jonbers, Arantxa, Tia and Hannah were deemed safe and sent to the back of the stage before the judges read Scarlet for not giving enough in the performance, given the idea was solid. Though they loved the look. Marina received wall to wall praise for literally everything she served; killer looks, high energy performance perfection and even some casual education about how rice grows for Alan. Choriza’s energy was praised for opening the show so strongly and they loved that she gave such a camp, gorgeous look. Mayhem, obviously, was read for flubbing literally all the lines in her talent show, though they lived for her runway. Gothy meanwhile was praised for such a strong glow up, though they felt she still wasn’t confident enough. Particularly not to make fire dancing work. Though they lived for her look. While La Grande Dame received wall to wall praise for being so stupid and so polished and oh so perfect. And that isn’t even taking into account how strong her runway was.

Obviously Marina and La Grande Dame were announced as the top two of the week before Choriza and Scarlet were sent to safety, leaving Mayhem and Gothy up for elimination. As the dolls ventured backstage to untuck, they grabbed their drinks and toasted Marina and Dame for landing on the top. Or kicking it in the dick, if you will. Scarlet meanwhile checked in on Mayhem, who had a good attitude about being in the bottom, realising that laughing at herself straight up cost her. Gothy on the other hand was worried about being in the bottom in the first episode two seasons in a row, before the winner’s asked for one on one time with their bottoms.

Marina caught up with Mayhem, who quickly pointed out her performance wasn’t bad, she just made mistakes. Which I guess is the only argument she really could make, so werk. When Marina didn’t seem open to saving her, however, Mayhem floated the idea of an alliance and vowed to help her make it to the end. Grande Dame meanwhile was checking how Gothy was feeling, with her disappointment for the repeat bottom, as La Grand Dame admitted she actually enjoyed her performance. Despite losing an eyelash to the flame. She then went for the emotion, pointing out that Mayhem has so much experience and should know better, while this is her second episode ever of Drag Race. The safe girls questioned how the top girls were planning to play it, as Mayhem took her alliance proposition over to La Grande Dame and honestly, I feel like neither of the queens are taking it seriously. Gothy meanwhile continued to lean into her heart with Marina, reiterating she knows she needs to give the judges more of herself, but she assured her that she will be able to overcome the nerves and shine.

Marina and La Grande Dame grabbed their lipsticks and headed out the mainstage before doing battle to Dreamer by Livin’ Joy. And as you can imagine, both the dolls absolutely devoured. La Grande Dame served humour and used every inch of her 7 feet to her advantage while Marina was all energy, as she hit every moment of every letter. And as such, Marina rightly took out victory before Mayhem and Gothy took their places on stage and Marina announced that Mayhem would be the Gothy Kendoll of the season. Sparing our sweet underdog and allowing her another chance to shine.

When she arrived backstage, Mayhem was in great spirits, despite her loss, knowing that she straight up lost because she found herself to be too damn funny. Which in itself, is too damn funny. I pulled her in for a massive hug and thanked her for coming back for another iconic run. As they may keep getting shorter, but she always manages to leave a mark with whatever time she has. Obviously Mayhem always manages to bring the party, no matter what the situation, she I toasted her icon status and sent her on her way with a deliciously hot Mayham & Cheese Pithivller.

Don’t get your hopes up! Despite the name, this isn’t exactly a fancy dish. Essentially just a textured little pie, this pastry melts in your mouth as the ham and cheese serve perfect French brunch. Second only to La Grand Dame, obvi.

Enjoy!

Mayham & Cheese Pithivller
Serves: 2-4.

Ingredients
25g butter
25g flour
1 cup milk
salt and pepper, to taste
⅛ tsp nutmeg, finely grated
200g gruyere cheese, grated
2 sheets puff pastry
12 slices ham
1 egg, whisked

Method
Melt the butter in a pan over low heat and once it is starting to foam, whisk in the flour and cook for a couple of minutes, or until it is cohesive and cooked off. Remove from the heat and whisk in the milk. Return to the heat, crank up to medium and cook, stirring, until it starts to thicken. Season to taste with salt and pepper, and add a pinch of nutmeg. Fold through half the cheese and stir until melted. Decant into a lined shallow baking dish, cover directly with skin and pop in the fridge to chill.

Preheat the oven to 180C.

Cut the puff pastry into a 20 and a 21 centimetre circle. Pop the smaller one on a lined baking tray. Layer the base with a third of the ham, leaving a 2cm border around the edge. Top with a layer of chilled bechamel, then a third of the cheese. Repeat the process until you’re out of ham and cheese. Brush the edges with the egg and top with the second disc of pastry, pressing the edges of each disc of pastry together to seal. Trim excess pastry from the edges.

Using a knife, gently scallop for creative flair before brushing with egg wash and popping in the oven to bake for 30 minutes, or until golden. Then carve and devour.


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Club Tickety Boo International

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World 2, TV, TV Recap

Like Ru, I only recently became aware of the magical phrase tickety boo, and while I am still not exactly sure what it means, I am glad it is part of my lexicon (I want to say it is about tickets, but if it is a slur, please let me know as that is not what I want).

Once again the Beeb is bringing a little joy back to the globe, as they invite queens from across Europe, the US and one of their colonies to the UK. No doubt looking to bring a little dignity back to the monarchy.

On that note, I hope Chuck recovers quickly and that he Guerdyfys cancer, but come on, Andrew is not only an albatross around his neck but also an embarrassment. But I’ve digressed.

While the first UK vs the World kinda ended on a whimper, we forget how iconic the first five episodes were. Cheryl was mediocre, Jimbo crystallized into an icon, Pangina was the ultimate robbed goddess and Janey was just a delight from start to finish, you almost don’t care that Jujubee couldn’t be bothered clocking in.

So if Tia comes back serving an adequate dress…made of material that is on her body, I will walk away from the series well-fed. Plus, maybe Hannah will devour and prove the Down Under 2 is truly a magnificent season, despite how tiny our Werk Room is.

Who has what it takes to win the UK’s first ever cash prize? And who will be the Gothy Kendoll of the season. Ideally not Gothy Kendoll herself, though if Drag Race gave us a Francesca Hogi, I wouldn’t be mad. Anyway, check back next week for all the deets.

📷: BBC Three.


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Hollymajoun Star

Main, Pizza, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 3, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under the dolls competed in a Drag Brunch Talent Show, which almost felt like the producers had another episode planned which got asked at the last minute and the two challenges were combined. But I digress. Flor was iconic from start to finish as she did a sexy CPR tutorial, Hollywould sang, Bumpa had no jokes, Gabriella was wacky with nothing but hula hoops while Isis was emotive and beautiful. And far and away won the challenge. At the other end of the pack, Hollywould was cautioned to open up before rightly being sent to safety, leaving Italy’s own Gabriella to tragically send Aunt Bumpa home.

Backstage Gabriella was feeling it after the lip sync, glad to have survived though heartbroken she took Bumpa’s chance in the process. The dolls thankfully praised Bumpa for being a damn icon before heading over to the couches to sit down and have a kiki. Isis was thrilled to jag her second win before speculating just who would be the one to miss out on a spot in the finale, telling Flor she is most likely to go given she is winless. While Hollywould speculated to us that it would be more likely Gabriella was going home, given Flor is at least consistent. 

The next day the doll’s were overjoyed to have made it to the top four, though Flor in particular was still just desperate to jag a win. They spoke about whether they had predicted that this would be the top four when they arrived, with Hollywould scalping Gabriella by saying she expected everyone but her to get to the end. Talk turned to Hollywould and Ru’s interaction on the mainstage with Flor, who speaks English as a second language, once again explaining that Ru meant she just wanted her to open up to the judges like she does to them, given she is so charming and lovely backstage.

Right on cue Ru dropped by and immediately warmed my cold heart by wheeling out four dogs and their owners. Who would become the newest members of the dolls’ drag families. Humans and dogs. As the winner of the previous challenge, Isis was able to pair everyone up, so jagged the skinny girl for herself, Gabriella got the zaddy, Hollywould got the alternative doll while Flor got the sweet, shorter lady.

The dolls pulled their human and dog aside for a get to know you session, with Isis’ dog instantly bonding with her while we learnt her human was queer. So yeah, slay. Arlene, doggy Ru and Hollywould were vibing hard, talking about the heaviness of mental health and how the love of dogs can help and ugh, I am in tears already. Flor meanwhile wasn’t winning over Burrito, while she and Grace did become the fastest of friends. Gabriella’s human meanwhile can sit on my face, though he and Billy are also icons and I only want good things for them.

Oh and then Gabriella wisely shared that her cat pissed in her drag bag once, which adds nothing, but is very important to me.

Ru made her ruturn to kiki with Hollywould and Arlene looking on as Ru and dog-Ru just vibed like the bestest of friends. Oh and then Ru confronted Hollywould about lying about her age which was honestly, iconic. Taina opened up about how much her brother loved drag growing up, before Isis gushed about how comfortable she was becoming in the race. Flor, Grace and Burrito meanwhile were charming and had Ru in absolute hysterics and ugh, I love it. Aaron, meanwhile, had Ru dripping, which, relatable. Before she challenged Gabriella to show more facets of herself and just feel everything, rather than overthinking things. 

After Ru left, Gabriella smartly focused on slutting Aaron up while Isis and Taina were having D&Ms about life and becoming the firmest friends and well, they are winning the challenge, right?

Flor, Grace and Burrito were first up to rehearse on the mainstage and while Flor was desperate to form a bond with Burrito for the gags, she was having none of it and TBH, I love it. Isis, Taina and Blue meanwhile were absolutely iconic before Hollywould and Dog Ru were energetic and iconic. The latter potentially a little too much. While Gabriella was focused on getting Billy off lead, like a seasoned performer.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls kiking about how tired they are after staying up all night getting things ready. The dogs and their humans returned with Aaron unveiling her lack of moustache, arm and chest hair. They split up to get prepped with Isis and Taina giggling, Flor trying to get Grace in the zone while Gabriella was opening up to Aaron about her lack of confidence in her body and that she wants to leverage his sexiness to help her serve something different. Because dammit, Gabriella knows she is worth it and ready to do the thing, Angela Bassett style. Flor and Grace meanwhile were bonding over their husbands and ugh, give them the win too as I love it all.

Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined on the panel by zaddy Josh Cavallo as the Haus of Hollywould kicked off The Drag Family Resemblance: Doggy Style runway serving old Hollywood glamour, flowing in beads and satin. Ivis Avis, Venus Tina and Neptune Loren shimmered in glorious white gowns, complete with Neptune serving tricks and being a complete star. Flor and Rosa allowed Burrito Bouquet to make a glamorous entrance, with all of them looking expensive and beautiful. While Gabriella, Isabella and B’Leaning Tower of Pisa served stunts and tricks, giving sexy, slutty Flintstones and ugh, I love it too.

Hollywould was praised for looking glam, despite a complete lack of family resemblance. While Rhys was more thrilled to see Hollywould having fun and living it up. Isis deservedly received universal praise, for giving killer looks, serving family resemblance and all around charming the judges. Flor too received nothing but love, particularly since she far and away gave the best doggy outfit. And after Grace thanked RuPaul for creating the show, I am confident Flor may just get her first victory! While Gabriella’s concept won over the judges, they wished there was more family resemblance. And more importantly, they loved how well behaved 10 month old Billy is. Oh and then Gabriella explained she didn’t give camp because she wants to show them she believes she can truly be sexy.

Backstage Hollywould was ready to lip sync if needed, on her way to the crown, while Gabriella was disappointed Michelle didn’t live for her concept. Isis on the other hand wasn’t sure who would take out another win, given she and Flor both got glowing critiques. 

Ultimately both of them took out victory and found themselves the first two members of the top three, while Hollywould and Gabriella had to battle for the last spot. And damn, they were hun-gry. As Not About You by Haiku Hands kicked off, both of the dolls had all the energy, hit every lyric and served moves, but there was something about Gabriella you couldn’t take your eyes off and it was that extra something that sent her through to the finale and Hollywould home in fourth place.

While I am thrilled for each and every member of the top three, I do think Hollywould deserved to be there alongside them and as such, broke down in tears of shattering disappointment. Hollywould being sweet, followed me sorrowful weeping and pulled me in for a massive hug backstage. And like an icon, flipped the script, assuring me that she will be the first Down Under girl to win and All Stars season and as such, no more tears would be cried. So I followed her lead, dried my eyes, got to brainstorming ideas to get her to the top on her second round and, most importantly, whipped up a piping hot Hollymajoun Star.

This glorious little number is Antoni’s – my beautiful ex – take on a lahmajoun, with a few tweaks here and there for taste. Earthy and rich, yet fresh and zingy, it is a quick easy meal that you’ll come back to time and time again.

Enjoy!

Hollymajoun Star
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 green capsicum, diced
1 onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
⅓ cup flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped
¼ cup mint, roughly chopped
500g lamb mince
2 tsp tomato paste
1 tsp chilli flakes
¼ tsp ground allspice
¾ tsp kosher salt
¼ tsp black pepper
6 Pita Andre Breads
1 tomato, diced
¾ cup natural yoghurt
⅓ cup black olives, sliced

Method
Preheat the oven to 190C.

Blitz the capsicum, onion, garlic, parsley and mint in a food processor until finely chopped. Add the lamb, tomato paste, chilli, allspice, salt and pepper and blitz until well combined.

Pop the pitas on a pair of lined baking sheets and divide the meat between them, flattening out to form a flat disc on top. Transfer to the oven and bake for 10-15 minutes, or until golden and brown.

Remove from the oven and dab away some of the excess fat with a paper towel before serving piping hot, with a sprinkle of tomato, dollop of yoghurt and a smattering of black olives. And then devouring, like a boss.


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Breakfast Hamburger Helpa Love

Breakfast, Main, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 3, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under the dolls lined up to write another little verse as they competed in the Girl Groups challenge. This time inspired by our Nicole’s hit movie, BMX Bandits. Even more unhinged than the last two seasons, the song BMX Bitches was a glorious ‘80s inspired bop. Team Challenge Winners (minus Ashley) were mostly feeling confident, while Team Ashley and The Rest were a bit of a mess. Bumpa struggled with choreo and Ashley was in her head, while poor Flor desperately tried to hold it together. Hollywould meanwhile was the Beyonce of the other better group, and took out her second win of the season. Flor was obviously deemed safe leaving Bumpa to battle against Ashley and send her home to join the win-to-elim club.

Backstage Hollywould was surprised by how much she was missing Ashley already, while Bumpa was stressed about the fact the judges don’t think she is confident. Isis meanwhile was focused on the fact that Ashley joined the win to elim club and as such, worried that it meant anyone could go home. Specifically, I assume, her. Hollywould turned their attention to the positive, thrilled to be the first one to collect two wins, while Flor just wanted to get one and Gabriella was worried about going from strength to strength to jag another win.

The next day the dolls were thrilled when they realised they had officially made the top five, before talk turned to who hasn’t lip synced yet. With SNS thrilled to have not had that bother as Gabriella and Isis just wanted to keep avoiding landing in the bottom. Which means one of them is literally lip syncing tonight, no? Right on cue, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be hosting a Drag Brunch Talent Show and as the winner of the last challenge, Hollywould would have the honour of selecting the running order.

After Ru departed, the dolls split up to kiki, with Hollywould confident in her opera skillz, Gabriella her pro-hula hooping background, Isis was keeping her plans a secret while Bumpa was confidently doing stand up. Something she has never done before. Gabriella sweetly suggested that stand up rarely goes over well and maybe she should do something safer. Something which proved even sweeter once Bumpa ran one of her jokes past the dolls because it was a mess. Bumpa gurl, you’re in danger. Talk turned to the running order with Bumpa sharing that she was desperate to open, while on the other hand, Gabriella was happy with anything and Hollywould felt she would make a lovely showstopper.

The dolls joined Rhys and Bree Tomasel on the mainstage to rehearse, with Rhys concerned that Gabriella’s act was one note, given she isn’t actually a professional hula hooper as she told the dolls. And was just going to gag around. Flor was going to honour her nursing skills with a CPR set and while it appeared to confuse them, the fact that she plans to teach a real skill makes me hopeful she will pull it off. Isis was going deep, talking about weathering the storm that is mental health, which meant she had to navigate the change between the energies. Bumpa had the duo laughing at the start, despite the lack of jokes. And while Hollywould’s singing was hidden from us, she did assure the duo that she is thrilled by the prospect of being shady with the order but also didn’t want to leave it to become a shit show. Literally.

Backstage Hollywould put the dolls out of their misery, announcing that Isis would be opening the show, followed by Bumpa, then Flor, Gabriella and that she would be closing it herself. Which was her final decision. That is, until Isis suggested the energy of her performance would best sit in the middle, so she offered it to Gabriella instead. While Bumpa grew more and more enraged by the fact she wanted to open the show, but clearly wasn’t viewed as strong enough by Hollywould. She, though, calmly explained her rationale and all’s well that ends well, it seems.

Elimination Day arrived with Isis exhausted from all the rehearsal, while Gabriella admitted she had a good sleep and plans to wing it opening the show. As they split up to beat their mugs, we had another bug visitor before Flor opened up to Hollywould about how nervous she is to perform live on the mainstage while the latter assured her that she has so much charisma, that she just needs to have fun and believe in herself. Bumpa and Gabriella meanwhile were speaking about needing to prove themselves. Hollywould meanwhile asked Gabriella the origin story of her name, which came from a stoner saying they felt like Gabriella Labucci one night and after googling the name and finding there was no such person, she snatched it for her character. Flor then opened up that hers came from her biological mother, who died bringing her into the world and hot damn, I am crying. It is beautiful to see the dolls rally around her as she broke down in tears.

Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined on the panel by Amy Taylor who is essentially Gabriella Labucci, for those that are unfamiliar. Speaking of Gabriella, she opened the Drag Brunch giving stupid hula hooping and while it was fun for 20 seconds, it was kind of a bomb. Bumpa meanwhile was a mess, relying on Ru to prompt the entire set and well, that made it funny. Flor by comparison slayed, giving jokes, silliness and useful health education. It was unexpected, smart and so much fun, so I love her. Isis meanwhile was a consummate professional – did I just jinx her?! – as she gave a moving, meaningful and a little sexy lip sync performance. And then Hollywould opened with a little opera before lip syncing to an original song and she was so good, Bumpa adorably just spoke about how talented she is in her confessional.

On the Not in My Backyard BBQ runway Gabriella served sexy, slutty tomato sauce, Bumpa gave bad Sandy, Flor was a beautiful burnt BBQ in yellow, Isis gave The Nanny does Looking for Alibrandi while Hollywould was stunning in an inflatable pool gown.

The judges lived for Gabriella and her glamour on the runway, though felt her talent show was undercooked. Badly. Bumpa too was read for being confusing as hell in the performance though they loved her runway, despite it not really making sense for the category. Flor received wall to wall praise, particularly since she is such a caring nurse. Isis meanwhile was totally beloved and cemented herself as the frontrunner while the former frontrunner’s singing was beloved, though there wasn’t enough. While Michelle desperately wanted to see more of who she is, given she appears to be quite guarded.

Backstage Flor was thrilled to clearly be one of the top queens, as Hollywould congratulated her and Isis for slaying the challenge. Bumpa and Gabriella meanwhile were ready to lip sync, given it is very clear they were in the bottom. Gabriella though was worried about the fact the judges aren’t seeing who she is, which is something that also worried Hollywould. With Flor, who has English as a second language, explaining that Ru doesn’t want her to be an extrovert, just to let her guard down.

Ultimately Flor had to settle for safe as Isis claimed her second win, before Hollywould was deemed safe. She then went unsafe, asking Ru what she wants to see from her, with her asking Hollywould to pull down the wall as it is what she needs, not just to succeed, but for a happy life. After making her way to the back of the stage, Gabriella and Bumpa lined up for the lip sync – as expected – and as soon as Jet’s 20 YEAR OLD Are you Gonna Be My Girl kicked off, it was clear our Italian queen was not going anywhere. She had all the energy, she was camp and she was flipping in every direction, and while Bumpa was a star, it wasn’t enough to save her as she exited with her head held high and praising the crew like a kind, hardworking icon.

As she arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug, assuming that praising the crew was essentially just a comment targeted at me, given I cook 10 meals per season. I mean, talk about a hardworking icon, no? Given Bumpa is obviously on the fast track to a vs The World season, I assured her that she has the chops for victory given she is so charismatic. So instead, focus on earning the coin to upgrade the wardrobes and she will coast even further into our hearts like Down Under’s version of Alyssa Edwards or Katya. And while she waits, well, she can smash a bowl of Breakfast Hamburger Helpa Love.

Yes, yes – this is just another one of my crack an egg on it and called it breakfast recipes. But the fact that they are simple – or lazy – shouldn’t matter, only that they taste delicious and fill you with joy. And, make good use of leftovers.

Enjoy!

Breakfast Hamburger Helpa Love
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 serves Irene HamduBois Helper
1 tbsp butter
2 eggs
kosher salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Cook (or reheat) the hamburger helper per Irene’s recipe.

Pop the butter in a skillet over medium heat and once foaming, crack the eggs in and fry until the white are set. Sprinkle with a good whack of salt and pepper, and remove from the heat.

Divide the hamburger helper between two bowls, top each pile with an egg and then devour, joyously.


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Chicken & Kimchley Madisondwich

Main, Poultry, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 3, Sandwich, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under the dolls played the Snatch Game. And well, as is tradition, there weren’t many wins, though thankfully Ashley and Isis slayed. The former giving us gay Jesus – but for real, not JVN – while Isis’ choice to pivot from her original pick Gloria Swanson to Donatella Versace proved correct. At the other end of the pack was the rest of them, though for reasons, Flor was popped in the bottom despite her Charro only being one note rather than bad (like say, Italy’s Gabriella Labucci). Rita, however, was just bad bad as she found herself lip syncing for the third time and finally being put out of her misery. Though she got the recipe of the season, so that is kind of a win, TBH.

Backstage Flor barely read the mirror measure before wiping it away and assuring the dolls that she is now primed and ready to rise again. As they sat down, Gabriella praised Ashley for the victory and slaying Snatch Game in general, while Bumpa admitted that she was sure it would be Isis taking out victory. Which obviously annoyed Ashley, who felt she was just being bitter as she is on the decline, while Ashley is on the up and up. So they’re either a winning duo or in the bottom two tonight, no?

The next day the dolls were feeling rather zen, reiterating it felt like it was Rita’s time to go which led to Isis joking that Flor’s time may also be up soon. This fired her up, leading to Gabriella explaining that everyone has kinda won or had a star moment, while she hasn’t and as such, it was a fair assessment. Which absolutely made her lose it, cussing out Gabriella and telling her she bombed Snatch Game and should have been in the lip sync but just got lucky. Lucky to be beloved.

Before she could make it physical, Ru arrived and thankfully opened the library, with the help of a rugged zaddy member of the Pit Crew named Ben. So like the dolls, my basement is flooded. Gabriella was up first and bombed like it was Snatch Game. Isis too, sucked. Thankfully, them being so bad let Ru open up and read the dolls herself, so at least we started to win, I guess. Bumpa had a single joke, Flor was ok, Ashley also had a single read while Hollywould had energy but zero jokes. Not a one. And as such, for the first time in Drag Race herstory, Ru deemed Ben from the Pit Crew the winner. And in addition to his $2500 worth of glitter, he would be the one dividing the dolls into two girl groups for this week’s Maxi Challenge.

Inspired by Nicky Kid’s greatest film (outside of the AMC commercial) BMX Bandits, the dolls would write verses on the new hit single BMX Bitches, record them with Michelle and then perform live on the mainstage. And with Ben from the Pit Crew being another messy Ben (or under the guidance of Alexis Michelle), he joyfully grouped Ashley, Bumpa and Flor as one band, leaving Isis, Hollywould and Gabriella as the other.

After Ru exited, the dolls split up to work through their lyrics, with the latter group thrilled to be together. Gabriella planned to lean into character in the performance, given she is starting to get sick and lose her voice, with her sisters sweetly assuring her it was a good idea. The other group meanwhile were ready to prove themselves, while Ashley wistfully looked at the group of challenge winners, wishing she was with them rather than win-less Flor and Bumpa. As team winners powered ahead with their verses, Bumpa and Co were focused on trying to come up with a name. And sitting round in awkward silence. Meaning they are winning, or it is so obviously bad, there is no hiding it.

F.A.B. International – aka Flor, Ashley and Bumpa – were first up to record with Michelle with Ashley struggling to give energy, notes and personality. Flor on the other hand was sassy and delightfully, getting Michelle back into a good mood. While Bumpa was somewhere in the middle, giving so many words Toto style, though also getting a chance to shine. Leaving Ashley super nervous about the performance. The dolls traded out with SNS (Sexy & Stupid) where Gabriella’s smoker character to hide her busted voice was beloved, Hollywould rapped the shit out of her verse while Isis committed to singing. Sadly just the one note though, annoying Michelle who asked her to speak her verse instead. Leading her to spiral as Gabriella and Hollywould encouraged her to stay confident.

Backstage Isis opened up to her sisters, heartbroken to have let herself down as Ashley too joined the pity party. Feeling like she has well and truly made a fool of herself. Thankfully their sisters divide their time between the duo, raising them up and encouraging them to focus on how fierce they are.

F.A.B. were first to work through the choreography with Corey Barker, complete with bikes for all the dolls. And while it looks to be hilarious, camp fun, I’m not sure either of the groups will be able to nail it. Because bikes. Ashley continued to doubt herself and Bumpa had Corey confused, so bless, Flor seemed great by comparison. SNS meanwhile were solid, nailing their handlebar wanking, though it was clear Hollywould was truly a star (see what I did there?). Though Gabriella was also pretty damn good.

Elimination Day arrived with Isis still nervous, while Gabriella’s voice sounded even worse, morphing more and more into Madge. Ashley, bless, tried to assure her she’ll be resting at home tomorrow, Gabriella destroying her as she reminded her that she shouldn’t really talk as the weakest dancer of the group.

We quickly pivoted to the mainstage where Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined on the panel by the iconic Rachel Hunter. F.A.B. were up first with the performance clearly owned by Flor as Bumpa seemed lost for most of the time and well, it happened and Ashley was there. SNS meanwhile, slayed. Even Isis who had the energy and sold each moment. Gabriella was a demented, bogan, delight, though it was clear Hollywould was the Beyonce of the group; fierce, energetic and fun in each and every moment. On the Fuschia? I Don’t Even Know Her! runway Gabriella was a gorgeous fuschia space diva, Isis meanwhile gave futuristic snake queen, Hollywould was all glamour in an ode to old Hollywood, Bumpa was hilarious as I Dream of Jeanie, Ashley on the other hand was perfection in a gorgeous gown while Flor too gave alien enchantress.

Gabriella received universal praise for the performance, particularly for overcoming her lack of voice, while they also lived for her runway. Isis was praised for slaying the performance despite her weakness in the recording, and her outfit was just as beloved while Hollywould was the most beloved, for owning the performance and the runway. Bumpa’s runway received praise though she was read for getting lost in the performance, despite the fact she always sells fun. Ashley’s look in the performance was beloved, though all they could focus on were her nerves. Which was a direct contrast to the runway, which she nailed. Flor’s performance on the other hand was loved as was the runway, though Michelle hated the fit of her girl group look.

Feeling shady, Ru asked the dolls who they felt should go home, with Gabriella saying Flor, Isis hedging her bets between Flor and Ashley, Hollywould identified Ashley and Bumpa, while Ashley and Bumpa said Flor, while Flor returned serve on Bumpa. As such, backstage Flor was feeling nice and spicy, while Gabriella and Isis tried to start things off with an apology. Flor coldly suggested she didn’t care, while Ashley admitted she actually wanted to say Bumpa as Hollywould admitted that she picked Bumpa and Ashley because they clearly got the worst critiques. The dolls then started to fight, with everyone kinda agreeing Bumpa was the worst in the challenge and has gotten by in the competition thanks to her personality. To make Bumpa feel better, Isis tried to suggest Flor had also had that luck, leading to Ashley jumping in to defend her, yet again. And damn, they are cranky this week!

Ultimately SNS were deemed the top group, though it was Hollywould that took out victory solo. Flor too was deemed safe, leaving Bumpa and Ashley to lip sync for the final spot, to the Masterchef theme no less! And damn, it was a show. Both of the dolls hit every lyric and all the energy, though it was clear that Bumpa’s camp energy had the judges delighted. Tragically leading to Ashley’s exit, the newest member of the win to elim club.

As she arrived backstage, I pulled Ashley and her nipple pasties in for a massive hug and immediately reminded her she should be proud of herself. While she got off to a rough start, she always gave us iconic moments and won the Snatch Game, the latter of which should qualify her for an All Stars season on its own. Which seemed to perk her up enough to celebrate her success and toast to leveraging her appearance with a piping hot Chicken & Kimchley Madisondwich.

Does this pretty much just use leftovers from the fridge? Sure! But when it tastes this good, despite being so easy, who cares? The spicy kimchi and the sweet, crispy chicken make the perfect pairing on their own, but when you add in some vintage cheese, it truly sings.

Enjoy!

Chicken & Kimchley Madisondwich
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
4 slices bread
¼ cup Shayonnaise Swain
6 slices of vintage cheddar cheese
2 cups Josh Karaagate Chicken
1 cup kimchi

Method
Assuming you’ve already got the mayo, chicken and kimchi ready – or have some lying around the fridge – this is super simple.

Smear mayo on the bread, layer the cheese on two of the slices, top with karaage and kimchi, followed by the remaining bread. And then devour, gloriously.


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Ri-the Menu Cheeseburger

Burgers, Main, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 3, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under thanks to a perfectly timed fainting episode, Mother Ivory mothered and scored herself a check – I hope – for the third episode. After Rita returned to the Werk Room, inspired and ready for rudemption, she learnt that the dolls would being starring in an improv sketch for the Fake Housewives of Down Under. And was instantly filled with dread. Gabriella on the other hand was positively pumped, confident in finally getting her star turn and being able to snatch the win. Which she promptly did, though TBH, the competition was hardly there. Flor was barking mad, Bumpa was Bumpa – so beloved – while Ivanna just looked to be trapped in her head and Rita was an absolute mess. When it came to the lip sync, Rita once again got her energy back, slaying and saving herself, while poor Ivanna exited stage left.

In the exact same placement as her husband Anita.

Backstage Rita was gagged to have survived her second lip sync in a row, putting it down to her hunger for the competition. While Hollywould pointed out it may just be because she is a lip sync assassin. The dolls meanwhile toasted the heartbroken Ivanna, wishing the judges got to see how joyous and fun she was backstage, since they felt it was lacking in the challenges. Talk turned to Gabriella’s win before Ashley continued her Milk storyline, complaining about how she has now been safe twice and as such, she was hungry for a win. Though Flor assured her that she was too. While Italy’s own Ms. Labucci decided that since she has had a taste of victory, she is well and truly ready for another.

Asking the dolls to catch her as she skated on by.

The next day everyone was feeling positive and ready to face the next challenge. Particularly Flor, given she was happy to get rid of the teams given Bumpa did her head in. Hollywould meanwhile agreed that she was kinda shocked Bumpa was deemed high in the last challenge, before Rita reminded everyone that while she lip synced twice in one episode, she knows her worth and isn’t going to let it impact her. Hopefully not jinxing herself again in the process. Ru interrupted the kiki wheeling out 10 of the hottest Pit Crew members for the dolls to pick out who is wearing matching panties. As is often the case, we all won but Gabriella Labucci won that little bit more. But who cares, packages!

And for this week’s Maxi Challenge, the dolls would be playing the Snatch Game so really we have no time to dwell on logistics. Simply remember them fondly.

After Ru departed, the dolls split up to talk through their characters with Flor wisely locking in Charo while Bumpa excitedly shared she was doing a famed Opera Singer. Isis meanwhile locked in Gloria Swanson, Hollywould planned to do community service Naomi Campbell and Gabriella, like an icon, was doing Emma Wiggle. Ru dropped by to talk to her new daughters, with Gabriella admitting how nervous she was to live up to the expectations of the judges as a proven comedy queen. And the fact Ru had no idea about The Wiggles. Isis meanwhile had Ru nervous with her choice before Ashley delighted her with her choice of playing Jesus Christ himself. But make it gay. Rita meanwhile thought it was a good idea to play the pioneer of the suffragette movement – Rita gurl, you’re in danger. Thankfully though, after Ru bounced, Isis and Rita spiralled over their choices and both opted to change.

We dropped by the Snatch Game set where Gabriella stuck with Emma Wiggle, Isis pivoted to Donatella Versace, Bumpa stuck with Dame Kiri Te Kanawa, Rita went to Cardi B while Hollywould, Ashley and Flor wisely stuck with their OG choices. While I’d love to say it was finally a winning Down Under Snatch Game, it wasn’t, as Ashley and Isis far and away ran  circles around their sisters. Ashley in particular, talking about Jesus being bred and living out her gay dreams. While Rita was just a mess. But so messy, it was kinda charming?

Elimination Day arrived with Ashley feeling her oats, ready to potentially snatch a win and stamp her place in the contest. While Hollywould exuded confidence, she admitted she was joking and knew she was a mess. Though a gracious mess, as she praised Isis and Ashley for slaying. Ashley in turn felt Bumpa would be joining them in the top, while the rest of the dolls all kinda knew any of them could be going home. Except Flor, who was sure she would be the third top, while Gabriella was simply hoping she would be safe.

Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined on the panel by Keiynan Lonsdale as the dolls stomped the Night of 1000 Kylie Minogue’s runway. Bumpa was up first, gorgeous in blue and green in Kylie’s showgirl era, Ashley served In My Arms music video, and was glorious, before Flor gave us the green fairy and was stun. Ning. Rita gave the weaker version of the In My Arms music video, though her mug was so, so, so perfect. Hollywould gave cyborg Kylie and was fierce as hell, Isis also gave a more glamorous green fairy before Gabriella gave Delinquents premiere Kylie, rather than Charlene like I desperately hoped from her.

Hollywould and Gabriella were sent to safety before Bumpa was praised for a strong start in Snatch Game, though read for fading throughout. Though her runway was beloved. Ashley meanwhile got wall to wall praise for Snatch Game and her runway. Praised in particular for bringing dignity to her Jesus without losing the jokes. Isis too was absolutely beloved, while Rita’s look received wall to wall praise, though her Snatch Game was truly hated. Flor meanwhile was read for not bringing any comedy to her character work, though they found her outfit cute.

Backstage the dolls caught the safe girls up, with Rita shocked they were safe given she would have put them both in the bottom. Everyone agreed the win was down to Ashley and Isis, before Rita and Flor admitted they were confident they would be lip syncing. And they bloody hated it, given it is Rita’s third in a row. With sweet Gabriella encouraging them to learn the lip sync and use it as the fire to push them further in the competition. Bless.

Ultimately Ashley took out victory as Isis was sent to safety alongside her, before Bumpa was gagged to join them, leaving Rita to serve her third lip sync of the season against Flor. And as soon as the singing budgie’s Secrets kicked off it was clear both girls had the fire Gabriella requested, though Flor’s experience proved to give her a little edge. Hitting every lyric and slaying the game. Which was enough to save her and send sweet Rita Menu out of the race. 

While she wished she read a fucking book – included only because it was a glorious exit line – I assured her that if we learnt anything from the Book Ball in Season 8, it is that illiteracy is hilarious. I pulled her in for a hug and told her she should be so proud of how well she did in the competition, and honestly, could have gone a lot further if not for a bad run of challenges for a non-comedy queen. Which proved to delight her enough to wipe away her tears and sit down to enjoy a piping hot Ri-the Menu Cheeseburger.

Despite the gastronomic delights of The Menu, the dish that has everyone salivating is its gloriously simple burger. And after sampling a version compositing all the copycats I could find on the internet, I know why. Crunchy and umami, sweet and gooey, this perfect burger has everything and will keep you coming back again and again.

Enjoy!

Ri-the Menu Cheeseburger
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
500g 80/20 beef mince
1 tsp kosher salt
½ tsp black pepper, ground
½ small onion, thinly sliced
4 slices American cheese
2 Briocher Bünsberg, toasted
your favourite burger sauce – I can’t go past the one from Smoke Shacqui Patterson – and dill pickle chips, to serve

Method
Divide the beef evenly into 4 portions and gently roll into meatballs, working as little as possible so you can still see the strings of the mincing. Pop on a plate and place in the freezer for no more than 15 minutes.

Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat and get the air vent going or open up your windows, as there will be smoke. You will know the pan is hot enough if you splash water in the pan and it balls up and rolls along the surface. Place the balls in the hot skillet, top with a square of parchment and using a large metal spatula, flatten each into a patty. Sprinkle each with a little salt and pepper, followed by some sliced onion.

Once the base of the patties have crisped – about 90 seconds or so should do – flip over, season the tops and top with a slice of cheese, and cook until the bottoms are gloriously crisp.

To assemble, smear some sauce on the base of the buns, top with some pickle chips, followed by the two patties and close. Then devour, gloriously.


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