Citrus

Shirazirie Fields Salad

Australian Survivor, Salad, Side, Snack, Survivor, Survivor: Australia V The World, Survivor: Game Changers – Mamanuca Islands, Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor Shonee was the odd one out in the final five, with the duos of Luke and Janine, and Parvati and Cirie locked and loaded to head to the final four together, despite the inherent risk of someone going out by fire. Which she expertly tried to remind everyone of, before turning her attention to making Janine’s real world success and highlighting that a professional keynote speaker is probably not the person you want to head to the end against. At the immunity challenge, our Queen Shonee, valiantly fought to earn her place in the top four, however the wind had other ideas, blowing over her stack and allowing Luke to score his third win. At tribal council Luke was torn between staying firm or making a wild move, so after Parvati pulled out her hidden immunity, he handed his immunity off to Janine after making her promise to let him go to fire. He then pulled out his idol and while he was tempted to play it for Shonee, he and Parv awkwardly played their idols for each other as Shonee was shown the door.

To reiterate, breaking the heart of the nation in the process.

Given it is the finale, we got a lovely Parvati confessional about how spicy the game has been from the start and that she feels like she has had to earn her place each and every day. Cirie was overwhelmed by just how tough the Aussies played the game, while Luke was thrilled to prove himself the King of the Jungle once again. And while Janine wasn’t given a cold-open confessional, she is a legend and, one assumes, was ready to dominate this ‘ere finale.

The next day Parvati went for a swim in the ocean, talking about how much she wanted to make up for her loss in Samoa 15 years earlier, putting it down to a bitter jury. Plus, this is her best game yet, not even securing a vote despite being a target from day one. Before she spoke about how grateful she is to still have her Survivor soulmate by her side. Cirie too was thrilled to still have Parvati in the game, knowing that she can easily secure the win as the undisputed best to never win. If she makes it to the end. The only thing that concerned her, however, was how Luke would perform in front of a jury, because she was rather confident that he could be a threat. So much so, that the girls were grateful to have Janine agree to vote with them to take him out. While Janine assured us that the only way she is turning on Luke is if it comes down to the two of them.

Luke meanwhile was feeling rather emotional, given he was voted out in fourth – as our first male Fourth Place Robbed Goddess – last time he played five years ago, and he was now ready for his redemption. He was proud of having fought from the bottom all game, and was hopeful that his relationship with Janine would be enough to at least give him the shot at fire.

If he doesn’t win immunity, of course.

After a supercut of the iconic, torturous final immunity challenges of yore, the final four met JLP by the shore where four giant devices stood. He explained that they would each stand on narrow pegs holding heavy weights, moving onto narrower pegs as they go, with the last person standing jagging final immunity and guaranteeing their place in the final tribal council. Everyone appeared to be pretty uncomfortable straight out of the gate, except for Parvati, who was frankly just vibing. After half an hour Cirie fell off after valiantly trying to save herself. At the one hour mark, JLP made the rest of them move onto narrower pegs, which really dialled up the pain and saw Janine lose her spot. Luke continued to struggle like every straight man in a reformer class, as Parvati stood like a statue. While that was happening, Janine and Cirie started to gossip, with Cirie confirming that Janine needs to stick with them, unless she wants to go to fire. As Luke willed Parvati to slip, she assured him that this is 100% her challenge and she will take out immunity. At the 90 minute mark they moved to the narrowest pegs and while they both made the transition, it wasn’t long before Luke finally lost his place in the challenge, handing Parvati immunity and a spot in the final tribal council. Her first final immunity win to boot!

Parvati was in tears, Luke could barely move and ugh, seeing them all support each other was honestly so lovely to watch.

Back at camp Parvati turned her attention to making sure Cirie would sit in the final three with her, as the duo giggled about sharing breakfast together tomorrow. Parvati pointed out that if Luke made it to the final tribal council, they’re all in trouble. As much trouble as Cirie will be if she has to make fire against Luke, so they just had to make sure Janine voted with them. While that was happening, Janine and Luke were busy pledging their undying loyalty to each other, with Luke extremely hopeful that Janine would make good on her promise and at least give him his opportunity at fire.

Cirie arrived and pulled her aside to talk through their options, with her reiterating that Luke is the most likely to win out of everyone left and as such, getting rid of him is their only shot. And while I am confident that Parvati and Cirie played the better game, I will let the argument slide. While Janine debated about whether she wanted to keep her word, or improve her chances of winning. Improve being the operative word, as I believe she doesn’t think she wins against anyone, so is likely to just go with the option to help whoever she is closest to. But I digress.

At tribal council the jury were delighted to see Parvati wearing immunity as she spoke about how special this season has been for her, because everyone has been so lovely and played so hard. She admitted that she would love to pull out the victory and take the crown back the US, though the season has clearly not come down to tribal lines post merge, as they’ve been focused on playing the game at the highest level. Luke admitted that he was rather nervous tonight, and was hoping he and Janine could stay Aussie strong one final time. Janine spoke about needing to play for herself but that the lines have blurred, because she knows how important it is to have the right people against her.

Parvati spoke about how desperately she would love to have Cirie at the end with her as this game has been all about redemption, with Cirie agreeing that she would love to make it to the end after almost 20 years playing the game. As she’d love to finally retire. After Parvati and Cirie agreed that they would be voting together, Janine spoke about feeling like either way, she would be disappointing someone tonight. And sometimes you need to stop thinking, and just go with what you promised. With that the tribe voted and despite her assurance that she would be with them, Janine stuck with Luke, tying things up and forcing Luke and Cirie into fire.

They took their places behind their stations, with Parvati quickly getting to work coaching Cirie as they started scraping magnesium. As expected, Luke was the first to get a flame and following Sarah’s lead, rocked it into a fire as he tried to light kindling. It all fell apart as the jury started to squirm as Cirie finally jagged a flame. She slowly started to build a fire as Luke desperately tried to rebuild his, which he did, just as Cirie’s disappeared. Luke’s fire then collapsed, as Shonee told him to chill, while Cirie calmly worked away and built a healthy fire. She and Luke continued to feed their fires in the hope it would be big enough to burn through the rope and ugh, it was honestly so damn stressful as they both came so close so many times. Ultimately, though, Luke was first to burn through the rope, earning his spot in final tribal council and sending Cirie out of the game.

By fire. At four. Once again. As she, Lisa and every single fan cried. While fate decided to play the cruellest joke, as her flame burnt through the rope as she spoke about her journey with JLP. Though vowed she will never lose fire making again. The one bit of solace I take, is that she now also holds the distinction of being the final torch snuffed by JLP, and honestly, that feels right for both of the icons.

Seeing Cirie’s latest game end the same way her first one did was truly gutwrenching, so she followed my rage screams all the way to the Jury Villa where I leaped into her arms and cried for so long that we almost missed the final tribal council. Thankfully I can now share – as you already know – that she was able to make me stop crying by letting me know that this definitely won’t be happening to her on Survivor 50, as she will employ Luke and Sarah to train her every day until she flies out with Probst and Co. And while it didn’t take away all the pain, it did fill me with a little bit of hope. As did the knowledge that she earned another iconic game placement, as the Fourth Place Robbed Goddess of the season. And that is always worthy of a celebratory Shirazirie Fields Salad.

To quote Pride and Prejudice and The Simpsons once again, it is a fact universally acknowledged that you don’t make friends with salad. Which is actually why I chose to make this for Cirie, as she is so damn likeable, she would never need to rely on food to make friends. Buuutttttttt, if she did, this salad is the final exception to the rule. It packs a massive punch of herbs and citrus, it would have anyone coming back for more.

Enjoy!

Shirazirie Fields Salad
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
3 roma tomatoes, diced
2 lebanese cucumbers, diced
½ red onion, diced
½ green capsicum, diced
small handful of parsley, chopped
small handful of coriander, chopped
small handful of mint, chopped
1 tbsp dried mint
1 tsp sumac
salt and pepper, to taste
2 limes, zested and juiced
2 tbsp olive oil

Method
Like most salads, this isn’t the most difficult one to make. Combine the tomato, cucumber, onion and capsicum in a bowl, and stir to combine.

Toss through the herbs and sumac with a good whack of salt and pepper, before adding the lime zest and juice, and olive.

Stir to combine, cover and pop in the fridge for an hour to allow the flavours to come together. Then, and only then, do you serve.


As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram.

Negroni Sbagliatony Vlachos

Australian Survivor, Drink, Survivor, Survivor: Australia V The World, Survivor: Game Changers – Mamanuca Islands, Survivor: Winners at War, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the World tribe desperately hunted for the key to the box they won during the opening challenge, with fate – or the Survivor Gods – shining down on our beloved Parvati. As she jagged it and used it into solidifying an alliance with the women. Sadly, upon opening the box they discovered that the power was knowing that JLP’s podium was home to an idol. And with them all assuming it was the only one on offer, Kass was able to find the camp idol without anyone noticing. At the immunity challenge, George tried to play mind games with the legends before Sarah dropped out of nowhere, due to Lisa being a challenge beast. Back at camp Sarah got jealous of Kirby growing closer with Shonee, so asked Kirby to vote her out as a test of loyalty. Sadly for her Shonee did what she does best, rallying the troops to take revenge on George and despite Janine trying to dump some votes on Shon, our queen sent George from the game.

Back at camp Janine quickly apologised to Shonee for putting votes on her, with her being an icon and not even caring. She spoke about how funny it was that she was able to cut George before he joined the 100 day club, capping his three season run at 99 days. Oh and while she said she wasn’t annoyed about Janine and Luke, she told us that she thought they were stupid for dumping votes on her given they are already the clear minority. But you know, she is feeling like a King now that she has snipped off George, so she won’t even let it get to her. Plus, Luke was so glad George was gone that they clearly now had something in now.

The next day we checked in with the World tribe where Lisa was busy doing laundry with Parvati and ugh, I love to see this for Lisa. And TBH Parvati, proving my ‘you can’t win with the same game twice’ theory wrong, given she is playing Micronesia again and dominating. She told us that the women are working together and will use the tribal council idol to their advantage when they need to. As such, she caught up with Cirie and they agreed that while the boys need to go, she knows Tony is a massive target and as such, she needs him around as a shield specifically. And Tommi is such a sweet, helpful guy, that he is just too likeable to stay. Speaking of the boys, they were busy pledging their undying loyalty to each other, with Tony planning for them to join up with the Aussies after the merge.

As that was happening, the women were joining up to plot their next steps, with Lisa and Kass trying to put the target on Tony as the bigger threat – aka because they are secretly aligned with Tommi – while Parvati clearly tried to keep Tony from being targeted, assuring them he will stick with the majority no matter what, so they are safest with him. The problem was Lisa, however, clearly pointing out that while Tony may be happy to go with the majority, it can’t be the end point of his game. Particularly as a two time winner, so that is not something they cannot trust. Cirie thankfully saw that both Lisa and Parvati being so locked in could lead to a little bit of tension, so reminded everyone they don’t have to worry about it right now and they can come to a decision together when they do need to worry. Splitting everyone up and nipping the tension in the bud.

Back at the Aussie camp Janine was still stressed about begging Luke to throw a couple of votes on Shonee to protect herself. And while it may have painted a target on them, it did lead to her and Luke pledging to go to the end together, so that is something. And the King of the Jungle is always ready to do something wild to get there. Kirby meanwhile was bathing under the watchful eye of Sarah, while the latter grew more and more paranoid that Kirby was angry with her and as such, she knew she needed to diversify her options. Sarah went to talk to Janine, suggesting that maybe now is the time to get rid of Kirby given she is giving off weird vibes. And while she quickly changed her mind to suggesting Shonee, it gave Luke and Janine all the ammunition they needed to make a play for Kirby. 

That night as everyone slept, Janine pulled Kirby aside to let her know what Sarah said and while Kirby had not lost her trust in Sarah before, she sure did after speaking to Janine. And was now ready to take a shot.

The tribes joined up with Jonathan in the jungle where they were gagged to learn that tribal immunity is not up for grabs. Instead each tribe would compete amongst themselves for an individual immunity necklace, as all of them are going to tribal council tonight. As for the challenge, they would each sit and hold a block against a pole with just their legs. Aka something perfect for our pilates queens. Sadly Lisa wasn’t able to compete medically, however, as the rest of the tribemates lined up. Almost instantly Luke started to struggle, while Parvati and Kirby whispered to each other about wanting to work together at the merge. Luke meanwhile sounded like he was taking a massive shit before dropping at just four and a half minutes. As everyone spoke about Shonee lasting over an hour the last time she did a variation of the challenge, Kirby dropped at the fifteen minute mark, leaving Shonee, Sarah and Janine to fight for their necklace. After twenty minutes JLP decided to make things spicy and forced everyone to put their hands behind their heads, which cost Janine and Shonee, handing Sarah immunity.

Let us pause here to remember that Shonee literally had a baby a few months ago and did that. She is both a mother, and mother. That is Queen behaviour.

The entire World tribe was still going at 45 minutes, so JLP made everyone go to a single foot, while the other one just had to hang in space. Which cost Tommi almost instantly. Tony was next to go at 53 minutes followed by Cirie, leaving Parvati and Kass to battle for the final necklace. And after an hour, Parvati suggested they make a little deal, agreeing to drop during the next endurance challenge if Kass drops for her now. Which Kass promptly refused. They continued to battle for over an hour and twenty four minutes, before Kass struggled too much, agreeing to the deal before dropping, handing Parvati the other immunity. Before sending the tribes back to camp, JLP casually dropped that despite both tribe going to tribal council, only one person would be going home. 

We followed the Aussies back to camp where Janine was grateful that nobody was giving off challenge beast out of the Aussies, so the World tribe wouldn’t view them as threats come the merge. Kirby meanwhile was gutted that Sarah was immune, given that voting out her number one was her only plan. That being said, talk turned to what the twist could be with Shonee telling everyone that they had a double tribal council in All Stars where the two voted out would then face off in a fire challenge, with the loser of that going home. Shonee then told Luke that she would be voting for Janine, given she voted for her. And given Luke did not want that, he decided the only logical thing would be to woo Kirby to their side and get rid of Shonee instead. And while Kirby hated the idea, she knew she had to keep her options open. After catching up and locking in the Shonee vote, Kirby caught up with Shonee and agreed that they would both like to take out Janine. Unless they all get to vote as one, in which case they’d love to all take out an international instead.

We checked in with the World tribe where they were all speculating what would be happening, with them speculating that maybe only those who are immune would be voting. Parvati whispered to Tony that if that is the case, he is safe and to just relax. Everyone split up to have conversations assuming it is something else, leaving Tony alone. This made him super paranoid about what could happen, so he tried to stick to everyone like glue so they couldn’t say his name. Parvati and Cirie assured him that Tommi was the target, just as Kass and Lisa were busy trying to protect Tommi and get rid of Tony. Agreeing that while they trust Cirie and want to trust Parvati, they only truly can trust each other. Kass approached Cirie in the hope that she could sway her to their side, and while Cirie admitted to us that she would prefer to keep the Americans safe, she would prefer to keep the women’s alliance together even more. And if it means sacrificing Tony, so be it. Because Cirie was also concerned about how tribal council could actually play out.

Cirie and Tony were busy catching up in the shelter with the latter growing more and more sketchy about the vibes. As such, Tony disappeared to talk to Tommi and let him know that Parvati said that he was the target. And that all the women will tell Tommi that Tony is the target. The two-time winner then realised that Parvati and Cirie clearly know where the key to the locked box is, as everyone had appeared to have just forgotten about it. And as such, he would just pretend he has an idol and cause as much chaos as possible.

The tribes came together at tribal council where Shonee told everyone that she believes each tribe would be voting someone out and that then the duo would face off in a fire challenge to stay. Jonathan didn’t drag it out, however, quickly sharing that it was not what was happening. Instead, each tribe would get to pull rocks to decide who would face off in a fire challenge and the winner of that challenge would win immunity for their tribe while the other would vote someone out. And given Sarah was shitting herself when she drew the white rock, things were not looking good for the Aussies. Even though she was up against Cirie, who famously lost the game after losing the fire challenge in her first season. So maybe all hope wasn’t lost.

Sarah and Cirie took their places at the stations with Sarah sweetly checking if Cirie was in danger before they got started. Both of them got to work, with Tony desperately coaching Cirie while Kirby was looking after things for Sarah. While Shonee looked ready to burst into tears as Sarah struggled, she was ultimately the first to get a spark. And while her methods were unconventional, she managed to get a fire and quickly built around it, filling tribal council with smoke before Cirie eventually got a spark. Sadly for her, however, the swing method didn’t work for her, as Sarah’s fire was furious, licking at the rope and sending the Aussies back to camp.

Side note, if Cirie makes fire in the final four of Survivor 50 and Sarah’s method gets her the win, we all owe Sarah our life.

Once they exited, Cirie spoke about how disappointed she was to have caused their tribe to lose someone. Kass joked about spending too much time strategising, rather than practising fire. While Tony was disappointed to now be voting someone out, he didn’t really get to strategise, while Tommi felt like the immunity challenge was a waste of time. Which Parvati joked she would beg to differ. Tony then got up to start whispering and when everyone told him they didn’t know who they were voting for, Tony tied his shoe around his neck and assured them all that he would be safe no matter what, as would the people he spoke to. The girls then got up to talk things through, with Parvati assuring them that he was just making a big play and there is no reason to worry.

Everyone came back together with Tony asking if Parvati told all the women that she had the key, and while she denied it – and telling him, if she did have it – he eventually admitted he wasn’t told, but he saw her with it. As Parvati and Tony argued back and forth, wishing things didn’t have to be like this. The internationals got up to talk about what to do, agreeing if they all just vote for Tony they would be safe. Cirie joined them, with everyone agreeing to get rid of Tony. However when she sat down, Tommi assured Lisa and Kass that he would be voting for Cirie and if they joined him, they would also be completely fine. Everyone sat back down with Tony and Parvati continuing to fight before agreeing on one thing – that they are both well and truly ready to vote.

And vote they did, before Tony got up to pretend to play an idol, as Cirie whispered to Parvati to go snatch the podium idol if he did play one. Thankfully he didn’t, as the women held firm and the rest of the votes piled up on Tony and sent him from the game. As Parvati lingered back to snatch the idol, as JLP held her torch for her. Like a damn icon.

As Tony arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled him in for a massive hug and thanked him for being so entertaining. And more importantly this season, for becoming mother. Because while all the women this season have got their dues for being mother, Tony has also been mother. While he was a little bit confused about what I was talking about, he could tell it was meant as the ultimately compliment, so took as such. As while I was always rooting for someone else in his previous seasons, this time I truly fell in love with him. And while he was the fourth boot, I would argue he once again cemented his legacy. Because there is no way a two-time winner is ever getting near a final tribal council again. So he had to settle for a famous Negroni Sbagliatony Vlachos.

While the world fell in love with this delightful drink thanks to Emma D’arcy, it is easy to understand why she fell for it. A little sweet, a little bitter and oh so refreshing, it is the perfect thing to toast the game of the greatest male Survivor player of all time.

Enjoy!

Negroni Sbagliatony Vlachos
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
ice
60ml sweet vermouth
60ml campari
60ml prosecco
orange slice, to serve

Method
Fill an old-fashioned glass with ice.

Top with vermouth and campari, and stir.

Top with prosecco, give a final stir, garnish with an orange slice and down. Repeat as required.


As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram.

Maxiwillsiam Affair

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Drink, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Myles was busy chatting his way into the bottom of the new Brains tribe. Max too was left out in the new tribe, but he at least found an idol, so had some form of safety Max, Zara and Laura didn’t. Despite Paulie’s best efforts, the new Brawn tribe lost their second immunity and as such, AJ planned to make the OG Brawn members his hostages to try and force the Brains into throwing challenges and save them. Which isn’t good for his original tribemates Zara, Myles, Max or Laura, no? While he was confident that it was the best plan ever, his allies were not on board in the slightest, nor was Ursula. But that latter part didn’t matter, given she was promptly booted from the game.

The next day AJ was thrilled to have gotten his way at tribal council and come up with a killer plan. Sadly for him, Logan was frustrated by said alleged killer plan and thought he was an idiot, given his moves not only impact them, but their allies on the other side. Specifically Laura. Karin and Kaelan agreed it was a bad idea, but weren’t seething and hoped they could somehow reel him in. Logan being an icon pulled Kristin aside to talk about AJ’s flippant play, with Kristin agreeing he has lost the plot and is definitely not thinking straight. Though the duo agreed not to tell anyone else how they were feeling, because if AJ gets nervous, he is likely to do something even sillier. He then approached Kristin in the water, with her expertly acting like she has no idea how the game is played and was just happy to go with the flow. Though trust and believe, she wanted to kick AJ to the curb ASAP.

We checked in with the Brains where Max was busy meditating, as Myles continued to talk – and talk and talk – about how he played the game too hard, too fast and as such, deserved to be on the bottom of the OG Brains. He realised that he has been a power bottom all game, and was now stuck with his nemesis Max and the OG Brawn members, who made it clear they were not budging from getting rid of a Brain. Max meanwhile was vibing, confident he was the Brawn’s favourites of the OG Brains, and with an idol in his pocket, he was feeling his oats. He quickly approached Jesse and got him to agree to get rid of Myles, with him obviously just giving a yep before Max ran off to pull in Laura.

And Max is totally getting owned this episode, right? Again.

JLP made his triumphant return for the immunity challenge where AJ quickly told the Brains tribe that he has hostages and he is willing to vote one off tribal after tribal unless they start throwing challenges. Much to the rage of Zara and Laura, given it meant they would be the collateral damage on their tribe. But back to the challenge, the tribes would unload sandbags from a canoe and then carry it up the beach to release puzzle pieces and then toss balls on a trough. After begging Brains to not throw the challenge, Zara and Kate sat out as Brawn powered ahead to win the challenge without the need for Brains to throw, just like Kaelan wanted to do. Though given how far ahead they got, maybe the Brains were throwing it. Wait, no, they were throwing, as Morgan, Ben and Jesse admitted they were all individually taking their time.

Sadly for them, Brawn solved the puzzle alerting the OG Brains that a hidden immunity idol was in one of their sandbags. Laura ran off to try and snatch it, and give the OG Brains some hope. This led to Jesse and Ben abandoning the challenge in the hope of keeping it out of her hands, soon followed by Morgan. After Logan landed her ball for Brawn, she joined the hunt for their idol, bitching and moaning to the new Brains about AJ’s chaos. While Myles screamed at Ben to come back and help him and Max with the puzzle, the Brawns each joined the hunt before Kristin snatched it. The Brains, meanwhile, couldn’t find it before Myles straight up came down, grabbed it and continued to yell at them to try and win the challenge. The Brains then managed to close the gap as Karin was the last Brawn standing, getting more and more nervous, until she put everyone out of their misery as she finally secured immunity.

Back at camp the OG Brains were absolutely livid, with Zara in particular irate and mocking the Brawns for being a mess. Ben was confident that they’ll be able to stay Brawn strong, despite Myle’s idol complicating their plans. Now, they planned to flush his idol and put four votes on Max to take him out instead, given his idol is still a hidden one. Brawn planned to tell each Brain that they are not the target in the hope that it would create so much confusion that Myles is too scared to play the idol for anyone but himself. Laura, being smart, realised that the OG Brawn were planning on splitting their votes and as such, the four OG Brains just needed to stick together. And while everything seemed good, Max couldn’t understand that they were all trying to save him with this plan, and that he just needed to vote for Kate and shut up. But given he couldn’t look Zara in the eye and say he would work with them, it did not look good.

Max went full Indy, feeling like they were dictating plans to him and he wasn’t happy, so pulled Ben and Jesse aside to jump in on their plans. He then shared that he believes Myles has no interest in playing the idol for himself, so if they were smart, they could still vote him out. Or Zara, given she threatened to kill him if he crossed her. Which is flawed logic if she genuinely planned to kill him, but alas, he locked in the split vote between Zara and Myles. And damn, I really want him to not play his idol and embarrass himself again, so please, make it happen universe. Max then followed Jesse around like a bad smell all afternoon, talking about how great the plan is, while Jesse subtly tried to find out who the OG Brains would be voting for.

Wanting to help his pal out, Max pulled Laura aside to bring her up to speed on his plans to betray them. Sadly for him, she shut him down instantly. She tried to calmly explain that this is their chance to claw back the numbers, with Max instead hyper fixated on getting revenge on Myles and Zara. Seeing he refused to budge and therefore the plan was dead, Laura eventually joined the flip to save herself, but when she caught up with Zara, she told her everything too and suggested they both join Max in throwing Myles under the bus. And while Zara wanted to save him, she didn’t see any other way to save Myles. Even as he agreed to play his idol for her. The OG Brawns meanwhile caught up as Jesse floated the idea of taking Max out instead, despite assuring him he has nothing to worry about. While Max laughed it up about the fact he will be getting his way tonight like a budget Ace Ventura. And he assured us that if it feels weird at tribal council, he had an idol in his pocket for protection.

At tribal council Ben spoke about missing JLP, but was glad to get back to the game and take another person out. Max continued to talk about how exciting tribal council is, admitting he is feeling confident and looking forward to building trust with this vote. Myles meanwhile spoke about his power bottom credentials, and knew he was an easy target to take revenge on AJ, given he is his closest ally. Ben spoke about it being an easy vote, until Myles found the idol, and admitted he was now a little bit worried. Jesse agreed they’ve had to shuffle things around, but he was hopeful things would still work out for the OG Brawn. Laura spoke about wishing the Brains could stick together, while Myles knew that an idol could only protect him for one vote but he would prefer to use it to lock in alliances. While Zara was wanting to build bridges in the tribe, and not cause drama like AJ was doing. Max, meanwhile, felt it was a great idea to play as a swing vote tonight and he wanted to power through the game like a steam train with his new allies. Laura said that can happen with whoever he chooses, though Max was confident that after tonight, he will be on the right side of the numbers. Myles on the other hand was just hoping he was trusting the right people to save himself.

With that the tribe voted, Myles played his idol for himself and negated four votes against him before a single vote landed on Kate and the rest of Max, sending him out of the game with an idol in the pocket. Once again burnt at tribal council like an absolute fool. As he arrived at Loser Lodge, I spent a quick minute pointing and laughing at him for once again being burned at tribal council before pulling him in for a hug and thanking us for the memories. And giving us another, very satisfying pre-merge boot. Which is enough to earn him a gloriously strong Maxiwillsiam Affair.

Given Max gave us a gloriously epic downfall, I kind of felt I owed him something special. And this cocktail definitely fits the bill. All at once floral, tart and packing a punch, it is the perfect palette cleanser after a bitter blindside.

Enjoy!

Maxiwillsiam Affair
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
30ml mezcal
30ml elderflower liqueur
15ml red vermouth
15ml lemon juice

Method
Fill a cocktail shaker with ice, add all the ingredients and shake well.

Strain into a glass, garnish with some peel and down. Smugly.


As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram.

Lemon Chicken Orzula Rose

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Main, Pasta, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the tribes switched things up leaving four Brains and Brawn as the minority on their new tribes. After finally clawing the majority back on OG Brains, Myles and Zara were particularly disheartened to be with Laura and Max, who weren’t exactly their closest people. Meanwhile after losing the immunity challenge the new Brawn majority were chaos; Rich wanted Logan gone, AJ was happy to join him, though not vote her out and Logan was just annoyed to be voting someone out. The OG Brawns were not much better as Ursula’s feud with Noonan created more chaos and when Ursula wouldn’t vote for anyone else, the two tribes had to join together to take out Rich instead. While Ursula fired a warning shot at Noonan, for reasons.

The next day the new Brains tribe were miserable as their terrible shelter got inundated by rain. Thankfully this introduced us to Ben, who finally arrived on screen in Episode 8 to bitch about how shitty it was, before leading the tribe to pull together an epic shelter so they can actually get some rest. As Myles chatted away with him rather than helping. He then went to Jesse to talk shit about Max playing chaotically at their final OG Brains tribal council, and just giving them all the intel. Leading to Zara pulling Myles aside to beg him to stop flapping his gums and give them some secrecy so they could find a crack in the Brawns. As the girls seemingly came together over his madness.

Over at the Brawn, Kaelan was living his best life, living in warm, dry, luxury. AJ too was loving himself sick, given he got rid of Rich and won the hearts and minds of many. The one wrinkle being that Ursula is still there, but totally miserable. He pulled Kristin aside for a chat to figure out what she was thinking, with her pledging her undying loyalty, suggesting they need to get rid of Paulie as he is the actual threat. And ugh, I want to stan her, but don’t come for my Paulie. We then got a close-up on Kaelan’s nips as Noonan tried to make conversation with Ursula who promptly shut her down as they sat in silence. Knowing she and Paulie could be in danger, Noonan pulled AJ aside to gauge how he was feeling, with him obviously suggesting they get rid of Ursula ASAP. And that the two of them and Paulie will be the best of friends once they merge.

But realistically, AJ has all the power.

JLP made his triumphant return for the next immunity challenge, where they would hold onto numbered pegs dotted along the wall, while two people from the rival tribe would toss sandbags at numbered coconuts to remove the corresponding pegs. Brains knocked out a couple in their first round, while Brawn got none. Another three pegs dropped for Brains in the next round, while Brawn got nothing. Again. Brains knocked another two in the next round before Brawn finally got the single peg Zara was standing on, and took one out from Kate. Finally, it became a showdown as AJ’s strategy to focus on the footholds knocked Zara off the wall. Karin soon followed, as did Myles and Kaelan, tying things up. It was at this point, AJ suggested the Brains should just throw the challenge, given they have the numbers advantage, while Brawn is tied up and anything could happen if they go back to tribal council. Jesse and Ursula then dropped, as did Kristin and Logan leaving Paulie as the only hope, literally hanging there like Jesus. Until he was literally hanging on by a single peg for two rounds before he finally dropped, handing Brains immunity.

Back at camp AJ was positively buzzing for the vote ahead, pulling Karin aside to see what she was thinking, with the duo feeling they needed to split the rival duo of Paulie and Noonan up with the former being the bigger threat, rather than Noonan. That being said, AJ also wanted to get rid of Ursula ASAP, as she is immovable which is even more annoying to work around. AJ explained that keeping Paulie and Noonan around will also spook the OG Brawns over at Brains into thinking they’re hostages and trick them into throwing some challenges. As AJ locked in Paulie and Noonan to vote with them to get rid of Ursula, Karin tried to woo Kaelan who put his foot down and said that Paulie is the one they need to deal with as Ursula will always upset someone, while Paulie is likeable. And since Logan was also in to take out a threat – noooooo – they just needed to convince AJ.

After Karin found a maggot in her food, we followed Paulie as he tried to convince Ursula that they can take control if she and Noonan stop coming for each other. As Ursula used the age-old excuse for targeting Noonan, being that Noonan came for her first. Noonan and Kristin joined in, with the OG Brawn agreeing to put it all to rest and convince the Brains to split their votes, so they can load their votes on Karin and boot her instead. With Ursula and Noonan apparently united, it was Noonan that flipped first, going to Karin and Logan to throw Ursula under the bus as the mastermind. And while it is suss, it could keep Paulie safe and as such, I stan. Karin, AJ and Logan caught up with Kristin and Paulie, with OG Brawn denying ever hearing about said plan. AJ obviously saw right through it, knowing the plan clearly came from Paulie. While Kristin told Ursula what Noonan did, instantly ending the truce. For good.

The OG Brains tried to make a decision who to get out as Noonan dropped by to find out what they were planning, leading to Ursula dropping by and blocking her from making any inroads. The Brains were worried that Ursula’s unpredictability was more dangerous than Paulie’s likeability, so locked in the plan and thankfully decided to keep Paulie. Just as he dropped by to check if he should be worried. AJ then went to each Brawn duo to tell them the Brains were split in their decision, so they would be able to decide who to vote for at tribal council. He then straight up clocked one of Noonan or Paulie had an idol, and told them if they did have one, he would signal for them to play it if needed.

At tribal council AJ said that the old tribes are dead to him, though his plan was to create the optics of hostages in the OG Brawn to force the new Brains tribe to throw challenges. This was a surprise to his allies, as Kaelan suggested he just wanted to win some challenges, while Karin shut it down, wanting to make friends rather than force people into being friends in a non-consensual way. Paulie meanwhile was keen to play hostage for AJ, if it saves him, while Ursula had no intention of playing hostage and doesn’t see any of the Brawn throwing a challenge. Ever. Karin meanwhile pointed out that they may have to throw challenges, though, if they want an advantage at the merge.

With that the tribe voted, Paulie held onto his idol despite a look from AJ, and everyone except Kristin came together to boot Ursula from the game. As Ursula arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled her in for a massive hug and applaud her on navigating her feud with Noonan as long as she could. I mean, sure, both of them could have not been petty and worked together for their own goods, but you see, I’ve known Urusla for years as she went to school with my cousin. And I was the one that taught her everything I know about pettiness. As such, it was kinda my fault, so I glossed over it as we shared a comforting Lemon Chicken Orzula Rose.

Lemon, parmesan and chicken are kind of like the holy trinity of flavours. And this gloriously tart orzo paired with this crispy, classier version of a chicken shnitty just proves it.

Enjoy!

Lemon Chicken Orzula Rose
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
¾ cup flour
¾ tsp kosher salt
1 tsp freshly cracked black pepper
2 eggs
1 cup panko breadcrumbs
½ tsp garlic powder
1 cup parmesan cheese, grated
2 chicken breasts, sliced in half horizontally
olive oil
1 tbsp butter
6 spring onions, sliced
6 garlic cloves, minced
1 cup orzo
2 cups chicken stock
1 lemon, zested and juiced
¼ cup double cream

Method
Preheat the oven to 160C.

Combine the flour in a shallow bowl with half a teaspoon each of the kosher salt and black pepper. In another, whisk the 2 eggs, and another, combine the breadcrumbs, garlic powder and three quarters of a cup of the parmesan.

Dredge the chicken in the flour, then dip in the egg before coating in the cheesy breadcrumbs. Pop on a lined plate and repeat until the schnitzels are prepped. 

Heat a good lug of olive oil in a large frying pan over medium heat. Once nice and hot, add the chicken and cook for 5 minutes, before flipping and cooking for a further five minutes. Pop on a lined baking sheet and place in the oven to keep warm.

Pop a lug of olive oil and butter in a large skillet over medium heat. Once melted and foamy, add the spring onions and garlic and cook for a minute before adding the rest of the pepper. Mix in the orzo and cook for another couple of minutes, before stirring in the stock and bring to the boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer, stirring frequently, for about 15 minutes or until cooked through.

Remove from the heat and stir in the lemon zest and juice, remaining parmesan and double cream until the cheese has melted.

Serve immediately, dividing the orzo between four bowls and topping with a piece of chicken. Before devouring, greedily.


As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram.

Rich Houzos, Lemon and Mint

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Drink, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor after Rich landed on the Brawn tribe, he proved clutch in securing them an Ikea comfort collection. Sadly for him, however, when Karin and Usula were locked in a wrestling battle for half an hour, she warned Ursula that the Brawns can’t trust him under any circumstances. After Brains lost the immunity challenge, Rich handed off his safety without power advantage to allow Max to take control. And oh boy, did that make Max’s already abundant confidence explode into insufferable arrogance. His sights, as they oft are, were firmly set on Myles, completely unaware that the Coven break-up had created a new majority between Karin, Zara, Myles, AJ and Kaelan. And when he sent Laura and Karin were sent away from tribal council, the new majority blindsided him and took out Ally. Much to Logan’s rage at Max.

We followed the splintered tribe back to camp where Karin and Laura were shocked to see Ally had been booted, as Logan bitched at the girls about Max flipping on everyone. The Graduates meanwhile pulled Max aside to have a couple of lols at him being blindsided by his own advantage, and that he burnt his last couple of allies in the process. Everyone came together where Logan completely cussed him out before he eventually explained he didn’t vote for Ally and threw Zara under the bus. Who instead of admitting she has a new alliance, tried to convince Logan that she pulled a Cara and cooked the vote and damn, Zara can act too? Queen, I love her. I mean, Logan was hugging her to make sure she was okay by the end of her performance, given tribal council was such a chaotic mess.

And given the graduates were feeling super confident about being in charge, we know a little twist is imminent, no?

Right on cue JLP arrived for a reward challenge for sandwiches. Which the winning new tribe would be feasting on, as it is now time to switch things up. Officially. After everyone dropped their buffs, the new Brains tribe consisted of Ben, Laura, PD, Kate, Morgan, Myles, Zara, Jesse and Max while the new Brawn tribe was made up of Ursula, Kaelan, Rich, AJ, Logan, Noonan, Paulie, Kristin and Karin. But anyway, the challenge. One at a time, the new tribes would swim out to a platform to memorise symbols and then recreate it back on shore. First tribe to three scoring the reward. Laura and Kaelan were up first with the latter absolutely dominating the swim and scoring the first point for new Brawn. Rich continued the streak defeating Zara, before Ursula and Kate both got theirs wrong on the first round, giving Ursula a huge head start to fix hers and take out the win for Brawn.

We followed the new tribe back to their camp where everyone was delighted to see the sandwiches. While the former Brains were more shocked to see the luxury their rivals were living in. Karin was even more thrilled to be in the majority, though was kind of stressed, given that majority included Rich. He told the former Brains that Brawn had a far better culture than theirs, unaware that they all thought that he (and before him, Kent) was the problem, not the tribe. When Logan defended the Brains, Ursula decided to hold Rich’s beer and told everyone she has been on the bottom the entire game and is the person the Brawns were all against.

Over at the new Brains tribe, Zara was shitting her pants, stuck in the minority with Max and Laura, two people she could not work with. Ever. Under any circumstance. The former Brawns immediately disappeared to strategise by the well, while Zara and Myles went hunting for advantages and locked in their loyalty to each other. And agreed to throw Max and Laura under the bus, in that order. Sadly for them, it was Max who jagged the idol they were searching for. Though given it filled Max with confidence, we know it will somehow screw him over because it is Max and if there is one thing he is going to do, it is get cocky and fuck something up.

The tribes reconvened with Jonathan for the immunity challenge where they would race to untangle chests from a pole to release a key, use the key to unlock the chests and carry them through an obstacle course, before unlocking them to release tiles, which they would push up a slope with a thin pole and land at the top of a wall. It was super hard to follow who was ahead, until Brawn got themselves knotted and handed Brains the lead. While new Brawn tried to close the gap, Brains continued to power through the course allowing Ben plenty of time to practice how to use the pole before Brawn joined the fray. Pushing the tiles up proved to be quite the challenge though, leading to both tribes desperately trying to figure it out. And with Noonan coaching Rich, Brawn quickly landed two in a row before Ben and PD closed the gap, giving us a challenge. As the Brains quickly landed their third, after Rich refused to be subbed out at Brawn.

Insert eye roll.

Back at camp things got pretty awkward pretty quickly, as Karin worried that Rich would be their undoing. She, AJ and Logan caught up, with AJ suggesting it could be safest to throw Rich under the bus and tell the OG Brawn that they’re interested in getting him out. That, or target Noonan and then go for Rich next. They took the plan to Rich, who was keen to get rid of her. Noonan meanwhile pulled Kristin and Ursula aside to come up with a plan. Though given Ursula hasn’t been aligned with Paulie and Noonan all game, and it all hinges on working together, things don’t look good. Particularly since Noonan and Ursula argued the entire time they hung by the well to lock in the vote. Eventually Paulie got them to calm down long enough to agree to vote for Logan, allowing him time to pull Rich aside and float the plan with him. And given Rich wasn’t overly keen on Logan, he was pretty open to turning on her.

AJ meanwhile wasn’t confident in being Brains strong, so pulled Paulie aside to catch up – and flirt? My basement, stahp – with the zaddy floating the idea of him joining Brawn to get rid of Logan. AJ then caught up with Rich, with them both agreeing that potentially getting rid of Logan would be best for their games and ugh, I went from a budding gay romance to losing a queen. It was whiplash in a minute. AJ’s plan, however, was for Rich to vote Logan but for him to stick with the OG Brains to be able to play both sides. Which was all well and good, except Rich wanted him to vote out Logan too, otherwise Rich planned to come for AJ next.

Logan meanwhile was catching up with Ursula and Kristin by the fire, with the trio talking about how hard it is to vote someone out already, given they haven’t been together very long. With Logan using it to her advantage, pointing out that Noonan and Ursula clearly hate each other given the former was rolling her eyes at her. Ursula went straight to confront Noonan, as AJ told them that Rich was planning to get rid of Logan and as such, the two of them need to stick together. Paulie then ran off to lock in Rich while Ursula and Noonan continued their fight with Ursula admitting that she wasn’t sure whether she will vote for Logan or Noonan after the drama.

Ursula then walked off as AJ realised the Logan vote was not, in fact, coming together. As such, he pulled Karin aside to let her know that Rich was planning to get rid of Logan, so they should band with Brawn to take him out instead. AJ then pulled Kaelan and Logan aside to let them know that she was in danger, and that they would have to work with Brawn at tribal council. As Karin looped in Noonan, AJ tried to loop in Ursula and Kristin just as Rich walked out of the ocean, leaving us unsure whether they were down to get rid of him more than Ursula’s desire for revenge against Noonan.

At tribal council Karin spoke about how confusing things were after the swap, while Paulie suggested tonight actually proved a huge opportunity for someone to make a big move. Logan agreed it could be a simple vote down tribal lines, though simple rarely wins out and as such, everyone should be nervous about a big move. Rich too pretended to not want Logan out, while Noonan suggested they should all just agree to be fun and do something wild. Karin and Rich suggested they kill off old tribal lines, while Ursula agreed that she loved that idea, given two former Brawns are the ones that continued to vote against her.

Rich jumped in to speak about a logical plan and the fun one, while Kristin politely suggested there are many options for everyone. Before Rich straight up suggested he was thinking he could easily be nasty, though. She played it far more kinder, no doubt playing for the Brains while Kaelan suggested trust will definitely be broken. As AJ shared that he hoped that the vote would actually make the tribe stronger, before Noonan added it will make it stronger and they’ll all go back to camp with mutual respect. Logan then told JLP that she believes it is distasteful of him to make them vote tonight, because she doesn’t know enough about the OG Brawn members, listing a litany of facts about them and proving herself kind, but also a threat. Which made Noonan feel touched and nervous, while Rich was just ready to kick the second act into high gear. With that, the tribe voted and like last episode, Rich’s pride came before a fall, this time his own, as the tribe banded together to take him out instead.

As he arrived at Loser Lodge, I gave him a high five and thanked him for being entertaining. And like Logan, I chose kindness, because I didn’t explain that the entertainment was due to his terrible gameplay and flameout via arrogance. Though that is probably because I kept it super brief, handed him a Rich Houzos, Lemon and Mint and sent him on his way.

Ouzo is something that I always heard horror stories about from my parents and their own bad experiences. But when drunk as an adult, rather than a teen, and mixed with some fresh lemon and mint, it slaps.

Enjoy!

Rich Houzos, Lemon and Mint
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
75ml ouzo
30ml fresh lemon juice
3 mint leaves
ice

Method
Combine the ouzo, lemon juice and syrup in a jug, and stir to combine, before adding the mint and bruising with a wooden spoon to release the oils.

Fill an old fashioned glass with ice and pour the cocktail over, before downing, like an iconic flameout.


As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram.

Ricotta and Candried Tomato Roulade

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Main, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor, well four years ago, we Mad Max-ed a collection of brutes and brains into the Queensland outback due to that little thing called COVID we’d all like to forget about. Despite doing away with the tropical islands, the battle remained the same and for the first time globally, the brainiacs got the upper hand as the toughies exited one by one until Queen Hayley slayed and defeated George. Like she should have, despite being voted out mid-game. Fast forward through a snooze to crown Mark, Liz defeating returnees and Feras defeating his bestie Kirby, and JLP decided it was time to get into his Charli XCX era to remix Brains V Brawns. Though back in the Samoan jungles, home to the iconic OG winner, our Samoan Sea Witch.

Begging the question, does that mean the literal witch on the cast is winning? I hope so.

As has become tradition, we made our way into said jungle with the castaways running onto our screens through gorgeous, slow-mo shots before we first meet Olympian Morgan, who is strong, sassy and well, easily destined to be a favourite. She was joined by Noonan, an iconic female local footy player who is ready to make a name for herself and yes, queen, she is my new favourite. Next up was Rapper Zen who assured us he could have been on the Brains tribe and TBH, he is ripped, so if he is in a speedo, I would be open to stanning.

While the Brawns ran through the jungle, the Brains were smart enough to hitch a ride to their camp on a bus which makes them early favourites to win the opening challenge as they won’t be exhausted, no? Plus, Dr Karin looks ripped and iconic, and could drag me through the jungle with her pinky. Rich, meanwhile, is a director and well, is confident. But that is about it. As is financial analyst Myles who joked about being a freak in the (spread)sheets and straight up pole dances in his spare time. So yeah, we have a new favourite and well, good luck knocking this King from the throne that is my heart. Max meanwhile has veins in his brains but literally got drenched by a wave in his opening confessional which means he will flameout, no?

Finally the tribes arrived to officially meet JLP by the ocean where Noonan quickly locked in her nickname and reiterated how confident she is that the Brawns will destroy. AJ on the Brains, meanwhile, was pretty confident that a Brain would win this match up … 50% of the time, much to the dismay and confusion of the tribe. Indy meanwhile told the Brawns she thought they’d be fitter, while we met Nash who is a friend of Feras, which means he’ll be an early out by laws of Drag Race (where winner’s children go out early in future seasons).

After dishing out buffs, JLP put the tribes to the test in the first reward challenge of the season which was super simple – collect a key from a very tall pole using only sandbags and palm fronds. JLP then explained that this season they would start the season with lit fires, but they would not have a flint. The prize for winning the first challenge was a construction kit back at camp to provide shelter and one would assume, protect the flame. That or I missed it and they would get a flint too. Who knows slash who cares, TBH? The Brawns got out to an early lead with Zaddy Paulie quickly getting to the top of the heap – and my heart – but realised his pole wasn’t thick enough to do any damage. This allowed the Brains time to close the gap until AJ snapped his stick. Brawns then pivoted to standing Kate on their shoulders, while Max tried to toss a bag at the key which ended up creating a barrier to block their key from moving, allowing Brawn to power ahead and snatch victory. Because all of the Brains men just kind of gave up. Except for pole king Myles, obvi.

We followed the victors back to camp where the tribe were feeling confident now that they had witnessed the Brains lack of brains, as Paulie led the team through some introductions. With Zen using the time to drop some beats, which both shamed and delighted Noonan, making her my fave. After they unlocked their reward and split some bananas, Jesse and Ben led the rest of the tribe to whip up a shelter, everyone was quickly getting to work bonding. This frustrated Nash who thought they were wasting time and not focusing on important things like starting strong and finding said idol. And as much as I’d like to say he didn’t find one, he did and ugh, I hope he just doesn’t play it and goes out ASAP because I’m already bored.

After gloating to us about being a star, he pulled out the idol to show Zen just how good he is, quickly locking in an alliance between them in the process. We then learnt he is a sweet family man, which made me soften just a little bit and feel bad about irrationally hating him 15 minutes into the season. Until he walked back into camp wearing his idol for attention. Thankfully nobody gave a shit at all, given they were focused on building shelter. That is until Ben finally spotted it. As Paulie and the girls’ raged about how silly he was being – icons, each and every one – Nash tried to build an all male alliance, solidifying the fact I need him to bounce in week one. Preferably today, right now.

We pressed pause on Nash’s shenanigans to check in with the Brains tribe where primary school teacher Max tried to get everyone to push ahead despite him losing the challenge for the tribe. After being called stupid a couple of times, he led them through introductions before we met Queen Zara who is super smart and ready to lead an all women’s alliance. I hope and pray. Particularly if it includes good witch Laura who is iconic just because she is a witch, and potentially our prophesied winner. After reading auras she realised she couldn’t work with Kent as his colours are all off. Thankfully she and Myles were vibing, along with Logan – the second coming of Shonee – and my Queens Zara and Karin. With the girls keen to form a coven and dominate the game. So yeah, lock it up – this is the alliance I want to ride to the end with.

Back at Brawn, young Zen decided to go swimming and show off his body in a speedo, which is a win and the smartest way to my heart. Sadly he said he wanted to downplay his testosterone and intelligence, which is insufferable. Particularly coming from the youngest person on the tribe. But he continued to wander around in the speedo, so I will forgive him. With Nash firmly in a power position with his idol, everyone decided to buddy up to him in the interim, with Noonan admitting to us she didn’t want to play his game nor let him dictate how they play. So let’s home this queen can navigate around it and get rid of him ASAP.

We went back to Brains where we learnt that everyone already hated Kent, as he barked orders and tried to elevate them from their mediocrity. His words, not mine. So snooze, goodbye. Take your millions of millions of dollars, and go home. As everyone tried to sleep, he snuck out of the shelter and pulled a Sandra by throwing Max’s hat in the fire, unaware that it actually makes him Holly Hoffman, rather than the iconic two-time winner. Though without Holly’s likability to overcome the drama. He then gaslit Max, telling him his hat was deep in the jungle when he woke up. He started cackling to us, promising to slowly poison the tribe with toxicity. First setting his sights on framing our pole dancing King Myles for the hat burning, so like Nash, girl bye.

The tribes reconvened with JLP where the Brains were gagged to see my nemesis Nash walk in wearing his idol proudly. Which hopefully pushes the Brains to take out the win. Particularly after Zara suggested he can use it tonight, like the damn icon she is. Speaking of which, the tribes would race to drag a heavy coconut snake through obstacles before using them to lower a gate to access a puzzle which they would have to solve. Obviously. Despite being the weaker of the tribes – apparently – Brains got out to an early lead with Max redeeming himself for the reward challenge. Brawn started to close the gap, until they started to completely fall apart allowing the Brains to pull further ahead. As Laura and Indy got to work on the puzzle, Nash ate it trying to get to the Brawns one. And then proceeded to just watch and then actively hinder as Noonan tried to close the gap. Which obviously meant Indy and Laura snatched victory for the Brains.

Back at camp the Brawns quickly turned their attention to taking out Nash, who tragically knew he would have to play his idol. He, meanwhile, decided they should get rid of Candy, who we barely know and well, that breaks my heart as she gives country Courtney Yates vibes. He quickly rallied some troops, however thankfully, his pushiness pissed off Kristin. He meanwhile continued his assault locking in numbers one by one, until coming up to Noonan who admitted she is nervous given he is 100% safe. Clearly signalling she wants to vote for him. Jesse thankfully was equally as pissed, thinking they should continue to focus on him as he is potentially arrogant enough not to play it. He and Noonan rallied a counterattack, with everyone ready to split votes on Nash and Ursula to control the vote no matter what. Oh then we learnt that even his allies PD and Zen were considering joining them to flush Nash’s idol

Sweet Noonan was obviously thrilled with the turn of events, sadly unaware that Zen was letting him know that the only way to save himself was to play his idol and vote for Ursula. This enraged one week wonder Nash, who stomped off to let her know she is the new target rather than Candy. Speaking of Candy, Paulie and Noonan – my new fave duo since Shonella – were busy letting her know that she is Nash’s target and as such, needs to not panic to avoid people turning from Ursula. Or, you know, Nash not playing his idol. Nash meanwhile was busy talking to Morgan and Kate, assuring them he will protect them if they join him and get rid of Candy instead of Ursula. But given his argument was to target Kate next, you’d hope she would stick with Paulie, Noonan, Ben and Jesse rather than the attention-seeking, chaos agent.

At tribal council JLP quickly addressed Nash and his idol, who doubled down on needing to make big moves from the very start. He gloated about finding the idol five minutes in, with Noonan pointing out that they all learnt about it six minutes in, which was a dumb move. And all he cared about was forcing everyone to play the game from the very first moments and play hard. Candy meanwhile got sassy, pointing out it is a bold move while Paulie straight up said that Nash has no hope of making it anywhere near the end after how he started the game. Zen meanwhile defended his ally, though pointed out it wasn’t the smartest move for Nash to try and align with him within five minutes of arriving. Nash continued to play cute, pretending he was considering not playing it before Candy announced that she knew she was Nash’s target, with Ursula pointing out that she is a target too, and for no other reason than being perceived as an ally of Nash. 

Ursula pointed out Candy was a target because she was weaker in challenge, with Candy in turn pointing out that not all challenges are strength based and she could be an asset where Ursula can’t. Leading to Ursula doubling down on being an asset every day of the week, so a couple of people considering voting Nash could easily just switch to Candy and guarantee her strength stays not matter what. With Kate and Morgan whispering about it being a good idea. As Zaddy Paulie looked on nervously. With that the tribe voted, Nash did end up playing his idol and poor Candy tragically found herself becoming the first boot of the season.

By the time Candy arrived at Loser Lodge, I was simmering with rage. I quickly pulled her in for a hug and gave a shrug, because honestly, there wasn’t much she could do to navigate the chaos that Nash stupidly caused in the first days. Given the circumstances, there really wasn’t much I could actually say to her other than my go-to line that being a first boot is fundamentally more memorable than every other place in the pre-merge, so at least she will be remembered. Plus, she was doomed by Nash’s terrible move which screams robbed goddess, which makes her primed for a return. So between that and the Ricotta and Candried Tomato Roulade I whipped up, she was feeling better in no time.

I love nothing more than a little roulade. They are one of those meals that look fancy and like you’ve put in a lot of effort, but are actually shockingly simple to whip. Simple and delicious, the ultimate combo.

Enjoy!

Ricotta and Candried Tomato Roulade
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
600g chicken breasts
8 slices prosciutto
200g firm ricotta
½ cup parmesan, grated
100g sundried tomatoes, sliced
1 tbsp sage leaves, thinly sliced
1 egg
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C fan-forced.

Slice each chicken breast in half lengthways, and flatten with a frying pan to form half-centimetre slices.

Place a piece of cling on the bench and layer the strips of prosciutto, overlapping slightly, to form a rectangle. Top with the chicken to cover, pressing to make sure there are no gaps (or as few as possible).

Combine the cheeses, zest, tomatoes, sage and egg in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper, and form into a sausage-shape along the middle of the chicken. Using the cling, slowly roll the chicken to enclose the cheesy filling, with the prosciutto sealing it into a giant sausage. Place on a lined baking sheet, seam side down and bake in the oven for 30 minutes, or until the chicken is cooked through and the prosciutto is crispy.

Remove from the oven and allow to rest for five minutes before slicing and serving with your favourite side. And devouring, like our tragic first boot.


As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram.

Strawberry Matchessa Testicle

Drink, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars 1, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Global All Stars with the cast split neatly in two, the eliminated queens returned to join the families of the top six in a little international makeover. Everyone did a fairly good job, though the clear standouts were Nehellenia – for her killer costumes – and Kween – for her makeup. At the other end of the pack, Vanity gave costume stewardess and Kitty served a tired plot of feuding sisters, which was enough to land them in the bottom. In Untucked, Kween Kong was clearly pressed to finally see a fellow Ru girl land in the bottom and took out her rage on Nelly, calling her out for doing a terrible job at beating her and Pythia’s mugs. Kitty joined the fray in tears, making it that little bit sweeter as Nelly took out her first win of the season. Much to the simmering rage of the duo. Sadly though, that fired up Kitty enough to serve in the lip sync and tragically send Vanity home.

Backstage you could still cut the tension with a knife as Alyssa congratulated Kitty on her lip syncing debut, despite being all stuck in her feels. Nelly thankfully was delighted to take out her first win of the season, grateful to Alyssa for giving her her flowers. Kween, to her credit, congratulated her on her win and apologised for being in a mood and making her feel less than. I am paraphrasing here, but it was a decent apology. Decent.

The next day everyone was feeling far more upbeat as Tessa made jokes about nobody expecting her to make it this far. Which, correct. Kitty meanwhile was thrilled to have a single experience in the bottom, as it has fired her up for victory. Kween too was ready for her crown, or at the very least, some KFC. Slowly but surely winning me back after last week. Nelly joked about being a filler queen that is finally going to get the win, which I hope goes direct from her lips to Ru’s ears. Alyssa meanwhile lied and pretended she was happy with her safe stint across, say, the entire season. Ru dropped by as Nelly admitted she was shocked to still be in the competition, announcing that to make it to the end, they would need to film tourism commercials to promote their mother countries. And make a little postcard in Canva to boot.

So condragulations Alyssa, I guess, given she is the queen of branding. Well, after Trixie, of course.

Ru exited as the dolls split up to work on their commercials as Kitty reminded us that this was the challenge in her original season that was so bad nobody won. This time, Kitty was going to lean into how bad English food was, scaring Nelly and Tessa with the way they all sounded like slurs. Nelly was going to lean into Italian stereotypes, while Tessa was going to represent both Switzerland and Germany. Kween was hoping to do better than she did in the branding challenge on her original challenge – oh, fuck yeah, she did bad – while Alyssa was rightly confident, given she almost won this challenge in Season 5. Bested only by Jinkx. Which, duh.

We then got a super cut of the queens working in Canva as the least subtle product placement before they split up to beat their mugs for the shoot. Nehellenia spoke about how proud she is to be representing Italy, while Kitty reminded them all to lean into the stereotypes. As they kikied about where else they would live if they had to move, Nelly spoke about how homophobic Italy can be.

Kitty was first up to film her commercial with Michelle, feeling inspired by Kim when she became a bouncer in Kath & Kim. She was munching on faggots, pissing in a phone booth and was all around delightful. Alyssa meanwhile vomited the U.S. of A all over set and leant into her strength, which is being a damn fool. And ugh, I love her. Despite how nervous she was. Nehellenia meanwhile was the most glamorous idiot and while it looked like she struggled with her pronunciation, I think it is going to be stunning. Tessa meanwhile was leaning into the dairy of Switzerland, and while the filming felt cringe, I am hopeful it will turn out ok. Hopefully. Kween meanwhile was on the struggle bus, though did give a shout out to my dear Spankie, which earns her a little credit in my eyes.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls opening up about their drag families, as Nelly shared that she has a tonne of sisters. Kween spoke about how her drag mothers saved her and she can’t imagine how her life would have turned out without them. Alyssa spoke about how they are the people who really raised her. Kween and Alyssa meanwhile admitted they desperately want children, though Alyssa worried that she would be mommy dearest. Which tracks. Nelly opened up about how it isn’t possible for her to have a kid in Italy and how it breaks her heart. Tessa spoke about her friend who is raising a son that is on the path to becoming a drag queen and how proud it makes her. And fuck, now I’m crying.

Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by T.S. Madison as Kitty kicked off the Star Trek: Queens in Outer Space runway looking stunning in a glam black gown surrounded by shimmering planets. Kween was a silver warrior, Tessa gave Dianne Brill in the silver moon of Studio 54, though was a little costumey. Alyssa was a tin foil birth of venus while Nehellenia was an intergalactic robot, Barbie, hooker. 

When it came to their commercials, Kitty was hilarious, camp and oh so charming. Which the judges lived for, given she had a clear vision, is funny and nailed each and every moment. And they lived for her runway, given it is just so unexpected for her. Kween on the other hand was confusing and chaotic, though did reference both Spankie AND Hannah, which I liked. Sadly the judges didn’t, wishing she focused on herself as it started to drag towards the end. Though the judges loved everything about her runway. Tessa was fun and stoopid, despite not giving us much about Swiss culture. And they wished she hadn’t already served cow a few weeks earlier. Though they loved how fun her runway was. Alyssa received all the flowers for her commercial, despite it being far more tame than I was expecting. And they lived for her runway. Nehellenia on the other hand was surprising, silly and oh so fun. And her runway was beloved.

Backstage Kween was accepting of the fact she is going to be lip syncing tonight, feeling like she failed and let everyone down. Tessa meanwhile was more focused on the fact that she did so well on the season, given she only filmed her first one four months ago. As she broke down, her sisters congratulated her on how far she has come and that she actually has the best attitude in the competition. Alyssa held back tears, talking about how desperate she was to take out a win on this challenge and show how far she has come. And she was now ready to push herself and jag the crown. Which felt a bit winner’s edit-y, no?

Ultimately Alyssa scored her second win of the competition and was the first queen through to the top four. She was joined by Nehellenia and Kitty, leaving Kween and Tessa to lip sync for the final slot. Just as they expected. As soon as Thelma Houston’s Don’t Leave Me This Way kicked off, it was extremely clear that Kween had no intention of stumbling this close to the end, stomping and flipping all over the stage. While Tessa was spinning and giving the silliest, boobtastic reveals, she also deliberately blocked Kween during one of her tricks which felt a little icky. As such Tessa’s run tragically came to an end, as Kween joined her sisters in the finale and Tessa sashayed away.

Despite being disappointed to see another non-Ru girl go home, I knew that Tessa would be bringing the fun so obnoxiously moo-ed from backstage until she found me. I pulled her in for an epic hug – she is actually my drag daughter, which explains her personality, no? –  and told her how proud of her I was. She was clearly underestimated by her sisters and despite not being one of the 10 finalists on the cast, week in week out, she turned a show and delivered epic television. And that, my friends, is the secret to success. So I toasted her run with a deliciously dairy Strawberry Matchessa Testicle.

You can’t swing a dick in Brisbane without hitting a strawberry matcha at the moment, and while they are easily my least favourite berry, in this little number, they are perfect. The bitter matcha is the perfect juxtaposition to the sickly sweet strawberry syrup, which has you coming back for more and more.

Enjoy!

Strawberry Matchessa Testicle
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
500g fresh strawberries, hulled and cut into quarters
¼ cup raw caster sugar
¼ cup water
2 tbsp fresh lemon juice
4 tsp matcha powder
½ cup boiling water
2 cups ice
2 cups milk

Method
First, combine the strawberries, raw caster sugar, water and lemon juice in a saucepan over medium heat and bring to the boil. Reduce to low and simmer for 5 minutes, or until sticky and reduced. Allow to cool slightly before blitzing with a stick blender to form a smooth syrup. Leave to cool completely.

To make the matcha, sift and whisk matcha powder in a matcha cup or low bowl with the boiling water in a zig-zag motion until frothy and no lumps remain. 

Pour ¼ cup of strawberry sauce into the bottom of two tall glasses, followed by the ice cubes, milk and finally the matcha. Then down, on trend, very demure.


As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.

Kale & Sausage Pizzthia

Main, Pizza, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars 1, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Global All Stars the dolls played the Snatch Game and given the season hasn’t been nice to the international girlies, it was always going to be a battle for our poor ESL queens. I mean, could you imagine trying to do improv in anything other than your native tongue? Impossible. But rant over. Pythia was a breath of fresh air, pivoting to a frat-bro Zeus 10 minutes before the shoot and someone looking glorious and firing all of the jokes. In the other group, it was Kitty’s glum, horny, filthy and glorious Princess Di that stole the show. Sadly Pythia didn’t get what should have been her third win, and instead Kitty as Prinny Di earned her, her second. At the other end of the pack it was a battle of the assassins as Gala and Vanity faced off in the lip sync. And given it was literally a song from The Muppets, Vanity leant into her silliness and sent poor Gala home.

Backstage Kitty was thrilled to have jagged her second win – that again, should have been Pythia’s – and most importantly, to finally be a Snatch Game winner. Which is once again a reminder of how good Ella was as Nigella. But once again, I’ve digressed. Tessa was feeling disappointed to have gone from winning to the bottom, particularly since she was an absolute flop. Talk turned to the lip sync with the dolls reminding Vanity that they haven’t heard Ru laugh like that in a lip sync, well, ever. While Vanity was just grateful to have Kween’s advice to put the negative talk in the boot of the car and drive on through the competition.

The next day Kween admitted she was quite surprised to see who had made it into the top seven before everyone realised that Vanity is now the official lip sync assassin of the season. Kitty was busy wishing for a comedy challenge and from her mouth to Ru’s ears, mother arrived to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be battling it out in a rich international roast. So yeah, condragulations Kitty, I guess. Pythia meanwhile was terrified, hoping their mystery guest would be able to coach her to a cheeky safe placement. Oh and as the winner of last week’s challenge, Kitty would be deciding the order.

After Ru exited, the dolls split up to work through their jokes with Alyssa hoping for rudemption after her bomb in Season 5. Forgetting that All Stars 2 exists, basically. BEAST! Given Tessa has never done a roast, she was hoping that Alyssa could give her some pointers for no other reason than she is evil. Kitty meanwhile was feeling her oats, given the jokes about her sisters were writing themselves. Pythia on the other hand, tragically, was paralysed by fear as she worried about bombing her second roast. Kween, Nehellenia and Vanity were kikiing and having fun, particularly Kween, given the other two had no material and she was having a ball reading them for filth. Oh and Vanity had no material as she was planning to sing her roast. Talk turned to the order with Kitty wanting the dolls to turn a good show, so would be putting herself and Kween as the bookends with the flops just filling out the middle. Which is kinda what everyone wants, so it even appears fair. 

Graham Norton then dropped by with a cup of joe to coach the doll. After reading Nelly for not having a win, of course. Nelly to her credit opened up about being delusional more than funny, while Tessa was worried about delivering a joke and Alyssa was just hoping to live up to everyone’s expectations. Kween opened up about how brutal everyone is Down Under, so felt ready to demolish the challenge. While Graham encouraged all of them to just focus on being funny and leaning into their weaknesses to cut through. Talk turned to cancellation, with Graham reminding them to make people laugh and that is all that matters. Kitty then decided it was time to announce the order, opting to take the opening slot and then be followed by Vanity, Pythia, Alyssa, Nelly and Tessa before finishing with Kween. And when Kitty mentioned she wanted peaks and valleys in the show, everyone was left wondering who exactly would be the valleys.

Oh and then the zaddy with the nipple ring from the Pit Crew returned and hot damn, I am moister than an oyster.

Elimination Day arrived with Kween ready to devour her set, turning everyone’s attention back to being cancelled. Vanity admitted she got a lot of hate after her first season, while Alyssa reminded her of Ru’s quote that other people’s opinions of her are none of her business and hot damn if that is not the best life advice, no?

Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by international treasure Graham Norton as Kitty kicked off the roast in an absolutely blistering manner. Vanity then sang her song, finding all keys but not a single laugh. By comparison, Pythia was not the worst. But not by much. Alyssa thankfully brought the energy back up, elevating her ok jokes with her pitch perfect delivery. Nehellenia started strong and kept the energy going through the entire set, surprising and delighting her sisters in the process. Tessa felt like she brought the jokes from home via AI, before Kween, thankfully, brought the roast to a killer end by eviscerating her competition. I mean, she called Kitty a coloniser. Essentially. Iconic.

On the Blow Me Away runway Kitty was a gorgeous combination of a bride and Bey’s pregnancy shoot, but stuck in a tornado. Vanity was draped in tinsel and I love Christmas, but I don’t love this. Though apparently her OG dress was ruined in transit, so let’s forgive it. Pythia was a stunning, elven goddess doing Ursula cosplay, and so lovely. Alyssa was a shimmering Texan delight in blue, Nehellenia was a gorgeous flaming delight, Tessa was a silver siren before Kween ate them in a gorgeous golden gown, giving us a Bey bookend.

Kitty received wall to wall praise from the judges, though Michelle did wish she took a breath during the roast. Vanity on the other hand got wall to wall demolishment, particularly for the look. The judges just felt roasting goes against Pythia’s nature as she is so kind, but her runway was once again perfect. Alyssa was praised for everything she brought to the competition across the season, and praised for her confidence carrying her through the roast. Nehellenia was praised for surprising the judges in both the challenge and on the runway, Tessa was read for letting the nerves get to her on the roast though they were grateful for a killer look. Oh and then Kween was equally as beloved as Kitty.

Backstage Kitty and Kween were well and truly feeling their oats as everyone praised Nehellenia for such a dominant performance. Pythia admitted that she just doesn’t understand stand up and as such, is fine to lip sync if her look can’t save her again. While Vanity joked that she was hoping to get another win, though didn’t want to be exiting the competition on her one year anniversary of entering Drag Race Sverige.

Ultimately Kitty and Kween were both deemed winners before Alyssa and Nehellenia were sent to safety. With Tessa the last to join them, as Vanity and Pythia were sent through to the lip sync. And while Pythia had a home court advantage in the form of Celine’s I Drove All Night, Vanity felt every single moment of the song and while she looked like ONJ, she was Celine. Which tragically meant the darkest timeline continued and Pythia was booted from the competition.

As is oft the case, particularly this season, Pythia followed the sounds of wild tears to find me backstage where I pulled her in for a massive hug. Begging for her to wake me up from this nightmare, given she should have minimum three wins, instead of going out in the middle of the pack. Eventually she calmed me down, assuring me that she was just so grateful to get another shot at a crown and show of her skills to a global audience, which is a super kind and mature way to handle it. Which is super on brand for her. So to thank her for both her kindness and artistry, I whipped up a piping hot Kale & Sausage Pizzthia.

While it is potentially the reason why Pythia lost – the pizza curse is real, ya’ll – it is so delicious you almost can’t be mad. Spicy sausage, velvety ricotta and a zing of lemon are the perfect throuple to mark such a glorious drag queen.

Enjoy!

Kale & Sausage Pizzthia
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
200g ricotta
50g grated parmesan
1 lemon, zested
salt and pepper, to taste
2 spring onions, sliced
2 cups kale, shredded
100g hot salami, thinly sliced
mozzarella, grated

Method
Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 180°C.

Combine the ricotta, parmesan and lemon zest in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Smear over the bases, sprinkle with spring onions, followed by the kale and the salami and finally the mozzarella.

Pop it in the oven to bake for 15 minutes, or until bubbly and golden. Then devour, safely.


As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.

Eva Le Queen’s Cocktail

Drink, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars 1, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Global All Stars the dolls were tasked with reviewing census data on the way to forming Global Girl Groups. Everyone, thankfully, was allowed to write verses in their mother tongue, because that would have been completely unfair. Soa and Kween were super confident given they won the Girl Groups challenge on their original season, while Kitty was hoping to finally live up to her potential given she made her name in a literal Girl Group. We know that could have gone either way in the world of Drag Race, but luckily for her, Kitty owned the challenge from start to finish and took out victory. In Untucked, Nehellenia felt everyone was attacking her and telling her she wasn’t good enough while riling up her sisters, when she wouldn’t actually say who felt that way. Ultimately Miranda and Vanity landed in the bottom, with sweet Miranda sent home.

Backstage Vanity was grateful to have survived the lip sync, but sad for the delightful Miranda. To her credit, Vanity agreed that she was the weakest in her team, though pointed out that any of Alyssa’s back-up dancers should have been in the bottom with Miranda instead. Or even Alyssa, given she is the one that did choreography that her sisters couldn’t handle and yas, queen, give us drama, mama!

The next day the energy was far more jovial with Kitty thrilled to have a victory under her belt, particularly since she won more money than Krystal did for winning their OG season. After briefly touching on Vanity’s killer lip sync – her last of the season, allegedly – Alyssa brought things back to Nehellenia’s Untucked tantrum with her awkwardly staying quiet, before apologising for sharing her feelings. Kween explained to Nehellenia that she felt like she and Kitty weren’t able to talk about their own positive critiques due to her drama, and that is why she was so frustrated.

Once again the Ru-larm interrupted what was bound to be an epic Alyssa monologue, as Ru arrived to open the international biblioteca. Because reading is what? Fundamental. Tessa was up first, giving cute and topical, before Pythia was read by Alyssa while she tried to read her. Nehellenia vowed to never watch Tessa’s season, Vanity begged Tessa to shut up and then bombed badly, Kitty meanwhile was hilarious. Full stop. Kween was savage, Alyssa was hilarious, Gala was brutal, Eva was cute, while Soa was iconic and energetic. Rightfully, though, victory went to Kitty because she is nothing if not a shady doll. Pushing her into the role of frontrunner, according to her.

With that out of the way, Ru announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge, they would be starring in Boobified – drag doll Barbie – movie shequels.  The Pit Crew arrived to help decide teams as the dolls picked their films out of his pink, furry box. Tessa landed on Frankenboobie alongside Vanity, Gala and Eva, Pythia, Nehellenia and Soa were starring in Boobies Of The Caribbean, while Kitty, Kween and Alyssa were cast in Jurassic Boobie.

The dolls split into their teams to read through the scripts with Team Tessa calmly grabbing roles, with Vanity and Gala rocking off for the final role. And while Vanity didn’t get the role of Weird Boobie, she vowed to slay nonetheless, given she needs to prove herself after her bottom two and bomb in the reading challenge combo. While Eva started to panic she was only in the last scene and as such, needed to stand out. Over in Team Caribbean, Soa was thrilled to lean into her heritage with the trio calmly dividing the roles and preparing to have fun motorboating. Which is a cultural thing Nehellenia is only learning. Meanwhile at Jurassic Boobie, Alyssa felt typecast as the older girl, while Kween related to the T-Rex role leaving Kitty as the Laura Dern.

Team Purple were first up to film with Michelle and Jamal with Tessa serving drama, as is her way, Gala was cute and silly, while Vanity pushed through her nerves to deliver madness while Eva struggled to find her bitchy Karen. Boobies of the Caribbean was demented and slutty from start to finish, as Nehellenia embraced her lisp for comedic effect, Pythia walked that fucking duck instead of plank while Soa had her sword stroked. Wrapping up the shoot, Jurassic Boobie was glorious from start to finish as Alyssa gave rando accent and was hilariously iconic as she always is – do wah, do wah – while Kween relished being a big ol’ bitch. Before Kitty snapped the giant blow dryer prop.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone feeling rather confident in their performance, with Alyssa grateful to make it through the shoot without flubbing her lines. Eva meanwhile cheeked in with Pythia, asking what the political climate is like in Canada. She opened up about how progressive it is, however felt growing up in Greece was truly terrifying. She spoke about how she had a falling out with her parents before Canada’s Drag Race, but she secretly went on the show and her parents watching helped them understand and improve their relationship. Gala on the other hand spoke about the disparity in Mexico, with the urban areas very progressive, over the climate was far less kind in outer states.

Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by style superstar Carson Kressley as Tessa opened the Brown Town runway giving fashion ABBA by way of delivering for UPS. Gala looked like a beast from Mad Max, Vanity was golden glamour in honour of the winner of her season, Eva gave prehistoric fashion, Pythia was her ice age sister, Nehellenia was perfection as a violin, Soa gave William Dorsey Swann and looked gorgeous. Alyssa gave clockwork Kansas steampunk realness, Kitty was living her Kardashian realness while Kween closed the show serving Pasifika warrior realness.

When it came to their movie trailers, Team Frankenboobie were cute and camp, Team Boobies of the Caribbean were oh so silly and gloriously fun, before Jurassic Boobie stole the damn show with Kween thriving and living her best life as a demented doll-dinosaur. Rightfully, Jurassic Boobie were declared the winners with Kween singled out as the best of the best before they were all sent backstage to untuck. After assuring the dolls they were all great this week, Tessa was praised for taking risks and having fun. Gala got her flowers for letting going and was praised for looking glorious on the runway despite there being a lot going on. Vanity was deemed the best of her group, while Eva was read for kinda getting lost in the performance. Pythia was praised for embracing the silliness, Nehellenia was beloved for everything while Soa was praised for constantly surprising the judges.

Backstage the Ru girls were thrilled to remain in the top, as Kween thanked them for having fun and making the challenge a joy. Talk turned to who would be in the bottom this week, with everyone agreeing on Eva but unsure of who in her team would be joining them. The bottoms made their way backstage with Soa opening up about feeling emotional despite getting generally strong critiques. Vanity was worried she would be in the bottom again, not wanting to spend the season in her head like in her OG run. Gala was feeling good, despite being read for giving too much in the look. While Eva was aware she was clearly in the bottom, so disappeared to prepare for the lip sync.

On the mainstage Ru reminded them they all did good this week before declaring Eva and Gala as the bottom two, sending the rest of the dolls to safety. And this too was a show. As Take On Me by A-Ha kicked off – this time minus Gigi’s attempted cheating towards a crown – Eva was gorgeous and hit every note. Gala meanwhile gave silly, camp fun and was clearly not interested in going home. And despite a wig reveal from Eva and some of the 80s finest moves, Gala’s emotion and stunts guaranteed her another week, as poor Eva found herself exiting.

As soon as she stepped off stage, I gave my best rice-cooker-not-plugged-in scream and pulled her in for a massive hug. Despite being such an early boot, there is no denying that Eva, like her sister Marina, is a bonafide star and more than worthy of a crown. But alas, the international queens tragically don’t appear to be faring well this season, and as such, she had to settle with an Eva Le Queen’s Cocktail while she waits.

While I never got to share it with you all previously, I was a dear friend of Liz II’s, may she rest in peace. And since I’ve given up using time travel – the TV show Loki scared me off fucking with it further – I figured she wouldn’t mind me pouring won out for a fellow queen.

Enjoy!

Eva Le Queen’s Cocktail
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
60ml dubonnet
30ml gin
ice
1 lemon wedge

Method
Pour the dubonnet and gin in a shaker and stir until well combined.

Pop the ice in a glass, add the lemon wedge and pour the cocktail over. Then down, and repeat, as required.


As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.

Mark Warnorkchop & Salsa Verde

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the final four were well and truly locked down tribal lines with Middle-Aged Mafiosos Caroline and Mark locked in against our star actors, Ray and Feras. With immunity kind of deciding who had the upper hand. After Feras was pipped at the post by Mark in another immunity challenge, Mark and Caroline got to work convincing Feras to stick to his word and vote out Ray. Sadly for them, however, Feras was nervous and knew that if he and Ray split their vote, Mark and Caroline could do something spicy and get rid of him instead. This led to a deadlock between Caroline and Ray, with the fire challenge resulting in King Ray joining the Fourth Place Robbed Goddess of the season, which both sucks and feels right.

The next day, Feras was emotional and tired as he reflected on losing his closest ally and best friend in the game. Caroline and Mark, meanwhile, were thrilled to have made it to the end together despite their rocky journey. Despite his pain, Feras knew that everything came down to the upcoming immunity challenge and that if he doesn’t win, he is out. And while he hasn’t won an immunity challenge yet, he is looking for his rudemption. Sorry, redemption. Given he had been quite successful in challenges, Mark was feeling confident in his chances of taking out the hattrick. Caroline on the other hand knew that she had been underestimated all season long and was ready to prove it one final time.

Given it is all we’ve heard about so far, we met up with JLP in the jungle to see three massive torture wheels set up for the final immunity challenge of the season. They would stand on narrow pegs on each wheel, which would spin at regular intervals, forcing them on to narrower pegs, with the last person standing going straight to final tribal council and getting the choice of who to face off against. But first, loved ones. Mark’s wife Saskia came out in a red dress in honour of Queen Shonee – but seriously, what an icon for that move – she was followed by Caroline’s husband Murray and Feras’ wife Iman. After they wiped away their tears, the final three took their places on the wheels and strapped in for the pain.

Everyone was joking about their various attempts to blindside each other for the first 40 minutes, until JLP made the first crank of the wheel to narrower pegs. They survived the live transition before Feras spoke about how he knows that if he loses the challenge he is out, with Mark teasing him and talking about definitely having the taste for the win, and was looking forward to winning again. While Caroline reminded them that she gave birth to three children, so arguably, she is best placed to win this one. Which is as true as it is iconic. After an hour, JLP gave the wheels another crank, followed by one at 90 minutes before Mark opted out of the challenge after two hours. That left Feras and Caroline to face off after one final crank before Caroline stepped out, handing Feras final immunity. And let’s be honest, the game.

We pivoted straight to tribal council where sweet Ray was delighted to see his bestie wearing the immunity necklace, while Kirby looked on with pride and ugh, am I crying? Feras spoke about how much has changed in the last 24 hours, going from being heartbroken over having lost his two closest people back-to-back, but proud that he was finally able to push through and get the win and guarantee his place at the end. Mark and Caroline kindly congratulated Feras on killing the challenge, with Feras admitting he is now stressed about making the right decision of who to take to the end, particularly since he is single handedly deciding who to send to the jury.

Caroline spoke about coming so close to victory, though hoped that Feras wanted to battle it out with the best, in her, tomorrow night. Mark agreed that he would love the chance to battle with Feras, but cautioned Feras that what Caroline can say and do at final tribal is unknown and as such, she is far more of a risk. With that Feras voted and despite a clever plea from Mark, he made the wise decision to send him out of the game as the final juror.

As Mark arrived at the Jury Villa I pulled him in for a hug and congratulated him on a game well played. Despite the fact he and Caroline were frequently at each other’s throats and trying to blindside each other, I loved that neither of them held it against each other and were always willing to try again. It is iconic and makes for a fun season – I mean, who can believe we had them and Kirby and Feras feuding with each other all season long? As such, I thanked him for the drama and mess, and toasted his eventual return with a piping hot Mark Warnorkchop & Salsa Verde.

While pork chops are normally a first boot thing, when slathered in a spicy, punchy salsa verde, they are more than worthy of a final boot. That being said, Porkchop is a glorious icon, so this is worthy of her too.

Enjoy!

Mark Warnorkchop & Salsa Verde
Serves: 4

Ingredients
4 garlic cloves
2 tbsp pickled capers, drained
generous handful of mint
⅓ cup olive oil, plus extra 
1 lemon, zested and juiced
salt and pepper, to taste
1 tbsp butter
4 thick pork chops

Method
Combine the garlic, capers, mint, olive oil, lemon juice and zest, and a good whack of salt and pepper in a food processor and blitz until well combined. Taste and adjust seasoning, and leave to rest.

Pop the butter and a lug of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat. While the pan gets nice and hot, season the chops. Add them to the pan and cook for 5 minutes, before flipping and cooking for another 5 minutes, or until cooked through.

Remove from the pan and leave to rest for five minutes before slicing and serving with a generous slathering of salsa verde. And devouring.


As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.