Oscar Gold XCI: Call Me By Your Gold

Quentin Maraschino Cherries

Dessert, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold XCII: Gold Basketball, Sweets

I don’t want to bore you with the details of my time in exile, but I can confirm that there was one big name star that was reaching out to me each week in concern. And that was Academy Award winning multi-hyphenate Quentin Tarantino. As such, I knew he would be the perfect person to kick off this year’s Oscar Gold celebration. Particularly since he directed three of my friends – Margot, Brad and Leo – to nominations this year.

Quents and I have known each other since the ‘80s when we both guested in the same episode of The Golden Girls. Sensing each other’s talents, we were drawn to each other through the sea of Elvis-impersonating extras and became the fastest of friends.

The question has probably struck you – how have two talented writers, such as ourselves, never worked together? It is a combination of unbridled sexual tension – dat chin, yo – and the fact I prefer to act as his muse, rather than tip the balance of our current relationship.

Fun fact: I inspired the characters of Mia Wallace, The Bride, Elle Driver and Daisy Domergue. What can I say? I am a strong, independent woman.

As soon as I say Quentin, I collapsed in a heap, the emotion of seeing him, the director of my beloved Luke Perry’s final film, hitting me like a wave. He ran and scooped me up in his arms, carried me into his home and lay me next to him on the couch to discuss this year’s Oscar odds.

I may have been high on the smelling salts, but we kicked off talking about Best Director and without even thinking about the fact he was nominated, said that Bong Joon-ho would be robbed if he lost for Parasite. And Mendes likely beating him with 1917 may be deserving, but I’d still be heartbroken.

“I assume you’re fucking tipping me for Best Original Screenplay then,” he joked, bringing me back to earth.

“Yes, obvi. But that is a conversation for later in the week. You’ve got some other categories I’d like you to run with me!”

He agreed that Bong has International Film in the bag, despite Pedro being equally deserving for  Pain and Glory. He thinks Documentary Feature will go to American Factory, while I am all in for The Cave. We agreed that Learning to Skateboard in a Warzone (If You’re a Girl) should and will win Documentary Short, Film Editing will go to Ford v Ferrari as it is the most technical and Visual Effects should go to Avengers: Endgame but will likely get swept up in a 1917 sweep.

With the formalities out of the way, I acted weak again to distract from my earlier faux pas. And so that I could enjoy being hand fed Quentin Maraschino Cherries by their namesake.

 

 

Some people say that maraschinos are a garnish. A sticky sweet morsel of magic to heighten a cocktail or dessert. But to Quents and I, they’re not a snack. They’re the whole damn meal in and of themselves. And once you make your own, you’ll never go back.

Enjoy!

 

 

Quentin Maraschino Cherries
Serves: 2 talented friends with palpable sexual chemistry.

Ingredients
1kg sweet cherries, pitted
11 cups water
1 tbsp pickling salt
4 1/2  cups raw caster sugar
1 lemon, zested and juiced
1/4 tsp red food colouring
30ml almond extract

Method
Bring 8 cups of water and pickling salt to a boil in a large pot, and cook until the salt is dissolved. Remove from heat to cool for about fifteen minutes. Stir in the sweet cherries, cover and leave to brine overnight.

The next morning, bright eyed and bushy tailed, drain the cherries and rinse under cold water for a couple of minutes. Set aside.

Meanwhile combine the remaining water, with the sugar, juice and zest of the lemon and food colouring in a large pot and cook, stirring, for five minutes. Remove from the heat, stir in cherries and almond extract, cover and leave another 24 hours.

The next day when Quentin questions whether the recipe really takes this long or whether you’re just using it as a ploy for sleepovers, pour cherries and juice into hot, sterilized jars and leave in a cool, dark place.

Or devour, instantly. You know the drill.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Hooray (I’m back) for Hollywood!

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold XCII: Gold Basketball

The Oscars are so close that you can sniff them, Shane Gould is preparing to show us that she still is not to be fucked with and the US Survivor winners are ready to war. And you know that was enough to pull me out of my self-imposed exile.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s focus on Hollywood’s night of nights and why, once again, I am back to bother you all with a stench of mediocrity.

You see, my ex-frenemy and dear friend Elton has been touring Australia the last month or so and when I caught up – expecting to be asked to fill the Kiki Dee roll in Don’t Go Breaking My Heart – with Elts backstage, he slapped me (hard) and told me to stop wallowing, revel in my vile-pig mediocrity and return Oscar Gold to its glory in honour of his upcoming win.

And how do you say no to that?

So sit back, settle in and get ready to celebrate Oscar Gold XCII: Gold Basketball.

Image source: Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Christoffee Waltz

Dessert, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold XCI: Call Me By Your Gold, Snack, Sweets

After catching up with Em, Reese, Gustavo, Tilda and Miloš for this year’s Oscar Gold celebration Call Me By Your Gold, I knew there was only one person I could invite over to finish things off – my dear friend Christoph Waltz.

You see with two people – Rachel Weisz and my love Mahershala – going for two for two like him, I knew there was no one better to have over.

While I’ve only know Chris for a decade, our bond is probably one of the relationships I’m most proud of. I was on the set of Inglourious Basterds visiting Brad and was immediately blown away by his talent, so forced him to hire me as his Oscar strategist.

Which may or may not be why he is two from two nominations.

Speaking of which, it is time to finally explore the last four categories. We feel Film Editing will go to Bohemian Rhapsody for the Live Aid sequence alone, though wouldn’t be shocked if BlackkKlansman surprises on its way to a string of wins. Poor Rach will be defeated in Best Supporting Actress by Regina King, though TBH I wouldn’t be shocked if she, Em and Ames are beaten by Marina De Tavira. Best Supporting Actor will see Mahershala follow in Chris’ shoes, as much as I desperately want to see Richard E. Grant take it out. We were both torn when it came to Best Picture, assuming it is a foregone conclusion that Roma will take this one however my gut says we’ll be witnessing some upsets, and I wouldn’t be shocked to see Black Panther win.

Full disclosure, I’ve desperately tried to have Chris over for the last two Oscar Gold celebrations however I’ve never been able to master the Christoffee Waltz and have kicked him out. Not this year, however!

 

 

Finally, FINALLY, I’ve managed to master the art of toffee making and TBH, I am feeling super smug. Super sweet and so hard it could chip a mouth full of teeth, this is the perfect toffee for snackin’, garnishin’ or simply eatin’. I guess.

Enjoy!

 

 

Christoffee Waltz
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
1 cup caster sugar
¼ cup water

Method
Combine the sugar and water in a large saucepan and cook over low heat until the sugar dissolves.

Up the heat to medium and cook without stirring until a candy thermometer reaches 145C.

Immediately pour the piping hot syrup on a lined baking sheet and leave to set for ten minutes. Before cracking and devouring.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Miloš Formilkshake

Dessert, Drink, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold XCI: Call Me By Your Gold, Sweets

This year’s Oscar Gold celebration – Call Me By Your Gold – is about to reach its crescendo and while that always makes me sad, I am glad that I got to hang out with my dear friends Em, Reese, Gustavo, Tilda and today, my delightful, two time Oscar winning director Miloš Forman.

While I didn’t meet Miloš until the mid-90s when he directed my dear friend Courtney Love in the The People vs. Larry Flynt, our bond was almost instantaneous. Unlike how my friendships normally play out, Miloš saw talent in me and encouraged me to go into directing.

Given it is behind the camera however, I ignored him and maybe that is why I’m tragically still Oscar-less. Oh god, that is an awful thought.

Anyway before I can really reflect on where my choices have gotten me, let’s get to the odds. As I jumped into the delorean to go back and hang with my recently departed friend, I settled on Alfonso Cuaron taking out Cinematography, Documentary Short going to Period. End of Sentence. and Documentary Feature to Free Solo, despite everyone loving the notorious RBG. While Alfonso is the safe bet to take out Best Director, I think Spike Lee will spoil and finally win a competitive Oscar. Because I am now leaning towards him losing Best Screenplay. Unless he doesn’t, in which case Alfons has this in the bag.

While that is a sad thought to finish on, my Miloš Formilkshake is the perfect thing to sweeten your day. And bring joy to any date with a lost friend. If you too can time travel, obvi.

 

 

Milo is probably the most iconically Australian thing you could possibly have when getting home from school. While this number doesn’t feature a 50:50 ratio of milo to milk like my 13 year old version, it is still delicious. Thick and malty, it is perfect.

Enjoy!

 

 

Miloš Formilkshake
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
3 cups Vanilla Ice Cream
½ cup milk
¼ cup milo

Method
Chuck everything in a blender.

Blitz until combined.

Down.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Lentilda Swinton Patties

Main, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold XCI: Call Me By Your Gold, Vegetarian

While I started Call Me By Your Gold with a very musical inspired trio, I decided to hunker down on some of the other categories. Ultimately the Oscars are about very serious movies that are oft a little bit weird – RIP Best Popular Movie – so I decided to reach out to my dear friend. Serious actress Tilda Swinton.

I mean sure, Tilda, has played a string of outlandish roles throughout her career – opposite my girl Ames is one of the more notable turns – whenever I think of Tilda, I think of serious, meaningful films and roles.

I first met Tild way back in 2000 while working together on The Deep End. I was coaching Jonathan Tucker how to play a horny closeted kid, and Tilda took me under her wing given I made him play the role so convincingly.

A beautiful friendship was formed and I encouraged her to continue taking risks, play diverse roles and ultimately pushed her into Michael Clayton, which landed her her first Oscar.

Fun fact: I was actually the one who encouraged her to take on Trainwreck too, which is probs her most iconic role.

Given the fact she is probably my most cultured guest this season – no offense guys! – I employed her to tackle the creative categories. For Foreign film we agree Roma will take it, though Capernaum is stunning and deserves it given Roma will take Best Picture. For Makeup and Hairstyling we both don’t see anyone but Vice getting the gong. Costume Design will go to Black Panther, while Production Design will go to Fiona Crombie for The Favourite.

While it seemed like we settled on the winners quite easily, our discussions were robust and passionate. And needed something light and hearty all at once, which is where my Lentilda Swinton Patties came into play.

 

 

Are these really an appropriate dish to serve at the premiere pre-Oscars event? Probably not. But are they insanely delicious? Obvi. Sweet, sweet potato, earthy lentil and a tonne of spice work together to fill you with joy. And let you be smug since they’re pretty healthy.

Enjoy!

 

 

Lentilda Swinton Patties
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g sweet potato, peeled and steamed
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp ground chilli
½ tsp ground coriander
400g canned brown lentils, rinsed and drained
small handful coriander, roughly chopped
⅓ cup breadcrumbs

Method
Preheat oven to 180C.

Mash the sweet potato in a large bowl and combine with the spices, lentils, coriander and breadcrumbs. Scrunch to combine with your hands. Shape in eight patties and place on a lined baking sheet. Transfer to the oven and bake for half an hour, or until golden and crisp.

Devour. With or without salad.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Tostavo Santaolalla

Main, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold XCI: Call Me By Your Gold, Street Food

Ok, ok – I know it feels like I’m stuck on a musical binge at the moment, after kicking off Call Me By Your Gold with Em and Reese on account of musicals, but Gustavo Santaolalla is an icon in his own right and I couldn’t go past with catching up with my dear friend to celebrate this year’s Oscars.

While I only met Gus close to fifteen years ago through my love Ang, our bond quickly grew as I inspired his exquisite score in Brokeback Mountain and made sure it captured the love and unbridled passion I held for Heath and Jake. And Mish.

Given it won him his first Oscar, I assume you agree that I am a gloriously stunning muse.

Gus being the delightful, sweet man that he is was totally shocked, humbled and honoured to get an invite to my annual Oscar Gold celebration. Even more so, as he got to help me lock in my bets for his sound brethren.

For Sound Editing, Gus believes I shouldn’t look past First Man, however I think A Quiet Place is a safe bet. For Sound Mixing, I am going with my boy Rami’s Bohemian Rhapsody while he thinks First Man will take that also. Given First Man didn’t even get a nom for Original Score, Gus is going with Isle of Dogs however I think If Beale Street Could Talk has it on lock. As does Gaga for Best Song which should just be given out straight away as it is the safest bet of the night.

That being said, Black Panther is the only nom that could act as a spoiler. Though it won’t.

TBH it was a pretty easy bunch of noms to discuss, but that didn’t stop us from getting down to sharing a platter of Tastavo Santaolalla. You know, to give us back our energy.

 

 

Hot and spicy, fresh and crunchy, tostadas are one of my favourite Mexican dishes. I mean, it is essentially a giant chip piled with a meaty-salady dip. When I put it that way, you find it pretty irresistible, no?

Enjoy!

 

 

Tostavo Santaolalla
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
olive oil
1 red onion, diced
5 garlic cloves, minced
500g beef mince
2 tbsp tomato paste
1 tbsp chilli powder
2 tsp cumin
½ tsp ground coriander
¼ tsp turmeric
400g refried beans
8 corn tostadas
cheddar cheese, sour cream, lettuce, hot sauce and coriander, to garnish

Method
Heat a lug of olive oil in a large skillet and sweat the onion and garlic for five minutes, or until soft, sweet and fragrant. Add the mince and cook, breaking up with a wooden spoon until the mince is browned. Stir through the tomato paste and spices, and cook for a couple of minutes. Remove from the heat.

Meanwhile heat the beans in a small saucepan.

To assemble, smear the tostadas with the beans, top with the mince mixture and literally any combination of cheese, sour cream, lettuce, hot sauce and coriander that you desire.

Devour.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Capreese Dip Witherspoon

Dip, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold XCI: Call Me By Your Gold, Snack, Vegetarian

I don’t want to make this year’s Oscar Gold celebration – Call Me By Your Gold – about A Star is Born but to be honest, it and Bohemian Rhapsody did inspire me to reach out to today’s guest. Eternally delightful, America’s Sweetheart and Oscar winning musical performer Reese Witherspoon.

I’ve known Reese since the mid-90s after meeting on the set of Fear – I was dating Markie Mark at the time – but it wasn’t until a few years later that our friendship blossomed. I went from introducing her to my fluffee Ryan Phillippe on the Cruel Intentions set before helping her to play a character based off my high school years in a little known movie called Election.

Given one gave her her two eldest children and the other launched her into serious actress category, it goes without saying she is grateful for my love and support.

While we’ve tragically been separated by our busy schedules, it was such a treat to be able to get together and honour the Oscars and catch-up. Given her star turn in Monsters vs. Aliens, I kicked off running the odds with Best Animated Feature which Reese thinks will surprise for Incredibles 2 while I can’t go past Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse as much as my puppy thinks Isle of Dogs has it in the bag. When it comes to lead performances we agree that my dearest Rami Malek needs to win Best Actor if there’s any justice in the world, while we’re both backing Glenn Close for being an icon, I believe that Melissa McCarthy is the truly deserving person in the category. Sorry Gaga.

We may not have agreed much on victors this date, but there was no denying how glorious the piping hot Capreese Dip Witherspoon was.

 

 

Gooey and sweet, this is quite possibly one of my favourite warm dips. I mean take a salad that proves you can make friends with salad, then chuck it in the oven and spread it on crackers? Iconic.

Enjoy!

 

 

Capreese Dip Witherspoon
Serves: 2 chatty friends. Or 6 reg peeps, I guess?

Ingredients
200g bocconcini, drained
200g roma tomatoes, roughly chopped
½ cup grated mozzarella
⅓ cup basil, roughly chopped, plus extra to serve
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 tbsp olive oil

Method
Preheat an oven to 180C.

Combine everything in a large bowl and transfer into a baking dish. Place in the oven and cook for twenty minutes, or until bubbly and hot.

Devour, with plenty of crackers.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Emma Thompsold Fashion

Drink, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold XCI: Call Me By Your Gold

In honour of my multi-hyphenate friend Brad’s A Star is Born’s success this last year, I knew that there was only one person I could entrust to kick off this year’s Oscar Gold celebration, Call Me By Your Gold – the delightful Emma Thompson.

While most people these days love Em for her work in Harry Potter or for making you sob listening to Joni Mitchell in Love Actually, I love her for being a total baller slash he only person to win a writing and acting Oscar.

Which B-Coops – who I really need to catch one day soon – is aiming to do this year.

I’ve known Em since the late ‘80s when she made her film debut in The Tall Guy opposite my then boyfriend and oft lover Jeff Goldblum. I was instantly won over by her wit and charm, vowed to make her a star and then, mere years later, she had an Oscar under he belt and was working towards her second.

To say she is one of my greatest success stories, really is an understatement.

Given how in demand she is, we don’t get to enjoy each other’s company as much as we’d like, so she jumped at the chance to hang-out and set the tone for this year’s Oscar Gold celebrations.

While we’re no experts on the technical or short film categories, we agreed that Avengers: Infinity War should snag Marvel their first win in Visual Effects given First Man has been pretty much left out of discussions at the Oscars. For Live Action Short we think Skin will snatch the crown – which Jonathan Penner was nominated for in the ‘90s – and nothing is beating Bao for Animated Short.

For her Original Screenplay, I see The Favourite bringing it home for Australia while Emma thinks Adam McKay will snag his second win for Vice. In her home category of Adapted Screenplay we agree that Bradley is a shut out and it is a three horse race between BlackkKlansman, If Beale Street Could Talk and Can You Ever Forgive Me? While I am firmly behind Spike Lee finally getting some – well deserved – competitive wins under his belt, Emma thinks Can You Ever Forgive Me? will surprise again after snatching the Guild.

At least I think that is what she predicted. My mind is fuzzy after partaking in one too many Emma Thompsold Fashion.

 

 

There is no better way to kick off a party than by downing a cheeky old fashioned. Strong and sweet, it is the perfect thing to get you just relaxed enough to get into the party season.

Enjoy!

 

 

Emma Thompsold Fashion
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
ice
¼ cup bourbon
½ tsp sugar syrup
2 dashes bitters
1 orange twist, to garnish

Method
Fill and old fashioned glass with ice.

Top with bourbon, sugar syrup and bitters.

Stir, garnish with a twist of orange.

Down.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Oscar Gold XCI: Call Me By Your Gold

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold XCI: Call Me By Your Gold

It feels like this awards season has flown by in an absolute blur, and I’m already starting to miss it. I mean, from popular films to the Kevin Hart scandal and my girl Allison potentially not getting the opportunity to hand out an award, it has been riddled with ups and downs, and I’m frankly exhausted by the marathon.

But I have a duty, to you and the entertainment industry, to power on and honour Hollywood’s night of nights with my annual Oscar Gold celebration.

Plus – I still need to earn some good karma to finally get myself an Oscar-worthy role.

Who’s star was birthed, became my favourite, filled me with a bohemian rhapsody and inspired me to rip a page out of my green book and engage in my gambling vice something something Roma, Black Panther BlackkKlansman?  Check in tomorrow as we kick of Oscar Gold, Call Me By Your Gold.

Excuse me while I go find some boardshorts and a peach.

Image source: The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.