Parmesan

Charribiata Kaseta

Main, Pasta, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK 3, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race UK, poor Victoria was withdrawn from the competition due to a dodgy knee like Eureka before her. The dolls had no time to process the tragedy as they were tasked with going to camp on the runway. Sweet Veronica coached everyone to get their looks over the line, sadly cutting her nose off to spite her face with a sloppy, unfinished look. While Scarlett slayed and took out victory, Vanity once again landed in the bottom, this time opposite Veronica who fought valiantly, but was ultimately felled by the lip sync assassin.

The dolls were shell shocked as they returned to the Werk Room, heartbroken that Veronica’s kindness proved her undoing. Despite this, the dolls were proud of Vanity’s lip sync and praised her for being just as talented as Veronica. Charity led the girls in congratulating Scarlett on her win, though Scarlett was disappointed that her win was partly because Veronica helped her make her look. Choriza spoke about the disappointment of seeing Veronica go home so soon, while Vanity wished it had been Choriza in the bottom in Veronica’s place.

The next day Scarlett was thrilled to join the victorious badged twink army, with the dolls just happy that she is finally open to receiving praise. Vanity asked River how she plans to stand out, with the girls questioning her passion for the competition and ugh, I hate to see my faves Scarlett and River fight. Kitty and Choriza meanwhile were looking forward to join the badge club while Vanity was just gagging to top once in the competition.

Ru arrived to announce that this week the dolls will be forming two girl groups for the ultimate UK challenge. Scarlet as the winner and Vanity of the victorious survivor were tasked as team captains, with Scarlett, Kitty, Charity and Krystal forming one girl group while Vanity, Ella, River and Choriza were their rivals. Each group would perform different remixes of the new hit song, BDE – Big Drag Energy – with one group going up tempo, while the others got the power bottom remix. As the winner of the previous challenge, Scarlett was the one that got to listen to both remixes and pick which one she wanted for her team. Oh and the dolls would be judged by Queen, Icon, Legend – Baby Bunton!

As the dolls split up, Scarlett listened to the remixes and quickly selected the up tempo number for her team. She then rallied her crew and quickly explained that  she chose them to offer a range of diversity, while team Vanity were just desperate to prove everyone wrong and I love it. While the up tempo dolls lived for their Spice Girls-esque number, they were laughing about how shit the power bottom version is while Ella, Vanity, River and Choriza were living their best life, ready to take the win. And with the name Pick’n’Mix, how can they go wrong?

The other dolls locked in the name Slice Girls before the dolls were gagged by the arrival of freakin’ STEPS. On the Steps. They then announced that they were tasked with helping the dolls record their songs and learning their choreo for their debut performance. And ugh, UK, hun indeed.

The Slice Girls were up first recording their song with Kitty slaying from start to finish while Scarlett, girl, she struggled. Bad. Then Krystal, well, she couldn’t find a key. Not a one, before Charity jumped in and was demented and creepy and so damn charming, in an evil witch from Snow White kinda way. Pick’n’Mix didn’t do much better as Ella’s nerves took her out of her West End star roots, Vanity though slayed a damn rap about race – QUEEN – while River was cute and sweet, with old zaddy Steps talking about how much her lyrics will change lives. River then spoke about how H was that for her, breaking down and ugh, I love her so much. Ditto twofold Choriza, who served the most demented rap and I love it.

On to the choreography with Slice Girls as Kitty took the lead and while she tried to keep it simple yet impactful, Charity encouraged her to make it more impressive. Despite not being able to walk in time. Again Pick’n’Mix slayed the rehearsal, wait, no, they had no idea what they were doing, expecting Steps to give them their, well, steps. That being said, I am hoping it is a fake out given Vanity and Ella really hit their stride, bouncing off each other while River and Choriza were living their best lives. Particularly when River suggested they lean into the camp of a good old power ballad.

Elimination Day arrived with Pick’n’Mix quickly getting to work getting a consistent look, while Slice Girls were just happy to serve a touch of metallic. Ella and River caught up about their lyrics, sharing how much it means to them to get their stories out with River reliving her mother’s death from COVID and ugh, again, I love River so damn much. 

As Ru, Michelle, Alan and Baby Bunton took their places on the judges panel, the Slice Girls took the stage and well, they slayed. Krystal hit every move, Charity was demented and high-energy, Scarlett though started to miss her lyrics and damn, it makes me worry for my favourite twink. Though given how amazing Kitty was, maybe she won’t have to worry? Vanity meanwhile was just confused by everything they did as they sat backstage. And well, given how damn GOOD Pick’n’Mix were, I understand the shade. Ella hit all of the notes, Vanity was perfection, River served all the emotion and well Choriza was Choriza which is the ultimate compliment. I mean, Ella’s facial expressions and the cheesy choreo was totally Choriza. Aka perfection.

On the Night of 1000 Spice Girls runway, Krystal slayed as a baby blue Baby Spice and ugh, she is good. Charity gave sexy Scary Spice by way of Nina Bonina Brown, Kitty gave a glamorous, angelic reunion tour Baby Bunton. Scarlett was total Scary in a lime mini, Ella was a sequined delight as wannabe Sporty Spice. River slayed as an all red Ginger, complete with Stop routine. Vanity too rocked Scary, but made it CEO while Ginger was stunning in Union Jack realness.

Rightly Pick’n’Mix took out victory and were sent to untuck before the Sliceys got their critiques. Krystal received her usual universal praise, while Michelle wished she could have given more in the lyrics. Charity was read for wearing blue when everyone else was silver and white, though Alan loved that she was the rebel of the group. Her lyrics were deemed challenging at times, though her runway was praised for killing the game despite not being Mel B. At all. Kitty received universal praise; from the lyrics to the energy to her looks, the judges ate everything up. And ugh, poor Scarlett was read for filth and she knew it before it even happened. Though Michelle did try and encourage her, reminding her to stay confident and stay focused on the task at hand.

Backstage the winners were gloriously toasting their success before they realised that all the past winners had landed in the bottom this week. Choriza read Scarlett for picking the cool, girls, given they managed to bring more diverse flavour. The Slice Girls arrived backstage with Scarlett and Charity sure that they would be lip syncing tonight, with the latter heartbroken that her vibe isn’t coming through with the judges. River encouraged her to focus on her talent and not get bothered, while Kitty was just giddy to have spoken to Baby Spice despite being in the bottom. Choriza then threw some shade at Scarlett for not picking her, with Krystal admitting that she sees her as a massive threat. While Scarlett apologised repeatedly for landing her team in the bottom.

Ultimately Krystal and Kittty were sent to safety, leaving Charity and Scarlett to battle it out to the Spice Girls’ iconic anthem, Who Do You Think You Are. And holy shit balls, was it amazing. Both the dolls had every lyric down, Charity was totally demented, Scarlett had the camp and well, it was a show and I was here for every damn minute. So I was thrilled to learn that both of the dolls were safe and would live to fight another day.

Backstage the dolls were gagged by the double shantay with Scarlett thrilled to still be there, while Charity was glad to show what she does best after a string of being safe. She spoke about struggling with the negative critiques but assured them that she was here to fight, while Scarlett felt like her stint in the bottom lit a fire in her belly. Oh and Kitty was ready to finally get a badge, hopeful that an acting or comedy challenge was coming up so that she could finally prove herself

The next day Scarlett was feeling nice and spicy, ready for a rebirth while the rest of the girls were dragging her about staying at the back of the pack. She was given a reprieve by the return of RuPaul who tasked the dolls with doing it doggy style by pairing up with their best bitch to prove they are best in show. With one half getting into doggy quick drag and the other coming as their handler. Choriza and River were up first in RuPaul’s Dog Race with Choriza hilariously aggressive, Kitty was bouncing boobs and all charm as she walked Charity through the course, Krystal wanted to speak to the manager while putting Scarlett through her paces, while Ella confused her sit and shit commands from Vanity.

Scarlett and Krystal took out victory, making them team captains as the dolls filmed commercials to promote Ru’s in-home personal assistant, Draglexa. Team Scarlett featured Kitty, Choriza and Ella while Krystal was joined by River, Vanity and Charity. With that, Ru disappeared and the teams quickly split up and got to work. Scarlett opted to take the lead to redeem herself until she learned that Choriza’s degree was in advertising, which made her happily hand the reins to her. Over at Team Krystal, Charity felt nobody was taking the lead in the challenge so started throwing out concepts and project managed the entire thing, and I’m so proud of her. While back with Team Choriza, she was disappointed by Scarlett’s ideas but was willing to listen to everyone before making aggressive cuts. Which isn’t relevant, but is hilarious.

Oh and Krystal and Charity threw down over how funny the latter’s ideas are and ugh, I worry for my love Charity.

Ru made a ru-turn, first catching up with Team Krystal where Charity shared that she was shocked to be so stuck in her head in the competition. But after a quick pep-talk from Ru, she was ready for her badge. Ru had the dolls, well herself, laughing about how she has never done her own make-up. We then swapped teams with the dolls coming prepared with a storyboard before they made Ru nervous about their choice to have multiple different Draglexa voices. Oh and Choriza’s memoir will be called Bumpy Padding, Dirty Tights AND has a meaty tuck on account of her UGE penis. Which again, is important.

After RuPaul left Team Krystal started to fall apart as they tried to get ready, while Charity was stuck writing the script on her lonesome.

Team Scarlett were first to film with Michelle with Kitty charming, even while taking a shit and despite the commercial not making a lick of sense. Sadly though, the broader situation appeared to be an absolute mess. Which either means it will be hilarious or the group are all lip syncing. Charity was feeling very anxious as Team Krystal tapped out to film and well, it didn’t go much better as Charity took over to try and give them direction which only upset the rest of her team.

Elimination Day rolled around with Kitty and Scarlett bonding as the latter opened up about being raised by a sick mother and how their relationship was stressed by the fact they also had no money. She admitted that she and her mum are now close and she is supportive of her, though her mum has COPD which is at the point that it will kill her. And now she is suffering under the regret of wasting time fighting. And ugh, watching her cry breaks my damn heart.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by Leigh-Anne Pinnock from Little Mix as the dolls showed off their Expenny-Henny Runways with Ella going Tony Award chique and looking an absolute delight. Scarlett was full frosty CEO, Kitty was STUNNING in a coin draped nude allusion and Choriza was a big shot at the casino n the most delgihtfully, demented Western Cowgirl way. Krystal was glittering, coated from head to toe in crystals – LIKE HER NAME – before River stole the damn show in a gorgeous red and gold South East Asian inspired gown. Charity meanwhile looked like the richest museum gargoyle, while Vanity too was dropping Krystals. 

When it came to the commercials, Team Scarlett were up first and while it wasn’t a mess, it also wasn’t very funny. Despite how hard they tried, particularly Ella. As Kitty laughed at the end of their commercial, the judges were silent if it gives you any idea. Team Krystal didn’t fare any better with River being the only one to have any charm.

This obviously infuriated Ru, who read all the dolls for filth, calling them out for being bland and beige, announcing that for the first time in Drag Race herstory, there will be no winner but assured them that there will still be a bottom two with a doll going home. Team Scarlett’s commercial was read for filth, though Ella was praised for trying her best and giving a killer look on the runway. Despite Michelle hating her wig. Scarlett was read for being predictable and bland, and the judges felt her outfit was just there. Kitty meanwhile was praised for delivering her lines well and looking great on the runway, as was Choriza but again she was praised for her charm rather than anything in particular.

AND THEN MICHELLE outlined a far better commercial in a matter of seconds.

When it came to Team Krystal, their captain was praised for going all in despite a complete lack of jokes. Both of River’s outfits received universal praise but the judges wished they saw more of her in the ad. Charity was praised for continually bringing killer looks, while Michelle desperately wanted her to show some diversity. While Vanity was praised for her commitment in the challenge and being an absolute babe, despite the fact the judges have no idea who she is.

Ru then decided to rub salt in the collective wounds, asking the girls to identify who should go home this week with Ella wanting to boot Charity for her negative mood despite receiving compliments. Scarlett too wanted Charity gone for her attitude, while Kitty was ready to get rid of Vanity due to her track record. The rest of the dolls then piled up on Scarlett, which led to Scarlett throwing out her jokes that didn’t make it into the commercial. Krystal felt Scarlett didn’t fight hard enough in the last lip sync while the rest were just annoyed by her attitude.

Backstage things got dramatic as the dolls tried to talk it out with Scarlett who looked ready to cut a bitch, refusing to acknowledge them. Ella apologised to Charity with the latter pointing out that pointing out that she is down on herself isn’t exactly motivating or a compliment. As everyone tried to say that they all had to pick someone and it was all ok, leading to Scarlett pointing out that the vast majority want her gone. And then as everyone tried to explain themselves, she stormed off, completely over it. While Choriza understood that she was angry, she also felt that storming off wouldn’t change anything. Scarlett returned and shared that she has struggled to build relationships throughout her life and while everyone tried to assure her that they love her and want to be her friend, it was not happening as they split up to learn the lip sync.

Ultimately Ella, Kitty, Chorizo, Krystal and River were deemed safe, with Vanity joining them after Ru implored her to step her pussy up. That meant we were blessed with the exact same bottom two as the week before, this time featuring the dolls lip syncing to the ICONIC Big Spender. Charity served Disney villain realness in the absolute best way possible, while Scarlett went balls to the wall with a full Broadway serving of CAMP. And ugh, why does UK serve such killer songs for their lip syncs?! While they both fought valiantly, it was Scarlett who lived to fight another day as the supremely talented Charity Kase was shown the door. Complete with a Wicked Witch melt on her way out.

Barely having time to recover from her death-shrieks, I grabbed Charity on the way and pulled her in for a massive hug. While I agree – don’t kill me Ru – that the judges slept on her talents throughout the season, I am not one of them and heaped praise on all that she brought to the season. And that isn’t even due to her penchant for flashing her buns on the runway. So after the requisite laughing, crying and bonding, I whipped up a big batch of Charribiata Kaseta.

Yeah, yeah – this is one of the most basic pasta sauces, pulled together with a bunch of leftover pasta. But I mean, how can you even go wrong with chilli and tomato. Despite its simplicity, this baby packs a bunch and is guaranteed to turn your mood around.

Enjoy!

Charribiata Kaseta
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, diced
5 garlic cloves, minced
3 small red chillies, finely chopped
1 tbsp tomato paste
800g canned diced tomatoes
2 tsp raw caster sugar
salt and pepper, to taste
500g mixed dried pasta, cooked
½ cup grated parmesan cheese, plus extra to serve

Method
While the pasta water is coming to the boil, heat he oil in a large frying pan over medium heat and saute the onion and garlic for a couple of minutes. Add the chillies and tomato paste and cook for a further couple of minutes. Add the tomatoes and sugar, stir and simmer for fifteen minutes, or until starting to thicken.

Once the sauce is cooked, season and fold through the parmesan.

Serve, cover with more parmesan and devour. Giddily.


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Gouda and Sarartichoke Pizzon

Main, Pizza, Snack, Street Food, Survivor, Survivor 41, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Jeff warmly welcomed us back to the tropical islands of Fiji before warning the cast that this is a new era, with a shorter game that was harder and packed full of twists to keep them on their toes. After making them work hard for the simplest of supplies, Jeff gagged them at the first immunity challenge by announcing that only one tribe would be immune and both of the losers would head to tribal council. While Luvu pulled off a come from behind victory, Yase were the first tribe to head to tribal council where poor Abraham was gagged to become the first boot.

But let’s back up a little bit.

After losing the challenge, we followed Ua back to camp with Sara sobbing to have lost the challenge, though she vowed to fight as hard as possible despite being on the puzzle. And losing a piece temporarily, costing them precious time. She and Ricard caught up however, agreeing that JD needed to go which led to Ricard rallying the tribe to get rid of him. Which he did very quickly, until Brad suggested getting rid of Sara or Shan would be a good idea too. DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THEM. Brad then pulled JD aside with Shan to fill him in on the situation, suggesting they should instead get rid of Sara. And while Shan felt nervous trusting Brad, she felt like she was best placed socially to ultimately get what she wants.

At tribal council Ua too were feeling their oats as a tribe, loving the fact they have had zero drama. Brad meanwhile offered to give up their pot if they can stay together, just a little while longer, which Probst tragically didn’t accept. Shan spoke about the zen way they elected JD to participate in the challenge, with him pretending that he was completely honest and it just wasn’t worth lying about. Sara meanwhile suggested the entire situation seemed completely implausible, whether she believed him or not. Talk soon turned to the missing puzzle piece which cost them the challenge before Genie kindly summed up that it is what it is. 

As JD started talking, Ricard started whispering to Sara and Shan to see who they should vote out. This led to Probst calling them out, setting off a live tribal council as everyone started throwing out names. Ricard suggested they get rid of Brad while Shan and JD debated the merits of keeping Brad or Sara. The tribe grew more and more paranoid before Brad asked if they could pop their die in their pockets in case, before Shan begged Jeff to just let them vote. And with that, they did, as JD pocketed his extra vote and nobody opted to play their Shot in the Dark. As such, the votes piled up on half the tribe before Sara found herself becoming the second boot.

Poor Sara was absolutely heartbroken to be the first person voted out of her tribe, though was so grateful to see me. You see, as we both work in the healthcare industry we obviously got to know each other and became the best of friends. When I saw that she was part of the cast, I was confident her sweet charm would take her far so let out an epic scream when I saw her enter Loser Lodge. I mean, it was so loud it probably shook the Sandra and Rob heads on whatever beach they were left on.

Anyway, given the quick turnaround between boot and departure, I quickly gave her a hug, reminded her she was amazing and popped a comforting Gouda and Sarartichoke Pizzon in a take-away container before she realised I accidentally cursed her game with food.

Yep, once again the Survivor pizza curse lives on! But as I often say, when they taste this good, my friends can’t really complain about missing out on the title and million dollar prize that goes along with it. In any event, the nutty, smokiness of the cheese works perfectly with the delicate artichoke and after finishing it off, you can feel nothing but happiness.

Enjoy!

Gouda and Sarartichoke Pizzon
Serves: 2 dear friends.

Ingredients
2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
extra virgin olvie oil
5 garlic cloves, minced
1 cup smoked Gouda, grated
½ cup mozzarella, grated
¼ cup parmesan cheese, grated
⅔ cup artichoke hearts, drained and roughly chopped
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions.

Preheat the oven to 180°C.

Spread out your bases and drizzle with a little bit of oil. Sprinkle over the garlic, followed by most of the cheeses. Divide the artichokes amongst them, top with the rest of the cheese and a good whack of pepper and a pinch of salt.

Transfer to the oven and bake for fifteen minutes, or until bubbly and golden.

Devour immediately, happy that while pizza still fucks over reality contestants post-COVID, it tastes damn good.


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Cara Spaghettchison & Meatballs

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn, Main, Pasta, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the top five fought hard to snag immunity and guarantee this safety, with Hayley once again coming out on top. As such, the tight Brains alliance decided to load all their votes on Flick and rid themselves of the final Brawn. That is until George realised Flick wasn’t hunting for an idol, and as such, he grew paranoid that she already has one. With that he joined Cara and loaded their votes on Wai JIC. While Flick thought she was gagging the rest of the tribe as she played her idol, her sole George vote was rendered useless as the beautiful Queen Wai was sent from the game.

The next day George was lounging about quietly in camp before Cara snuck up and scared the shit out of him. The duo then mucked around all cute like, as they praised their unbreakable bond, grateful to have had each other to navigate the game. Cara desperately wanted the two of them to make it to the end together, but also knew that that would be a very difficult task. 

And well, already this feels like the ads about turning on each other won’t be like SuE’S bIG m0v3!?

Meanwhile Flick and Hayley were tending to camp as Flick shared with us that she is pretty much just planning an immunity run to the end because, well, that’s her only real option. Despite that, she pulled Hayley aside and once again pitched that the two of them join together and break up the duo of George and Cara. And given George is the chattiest of Kathy’s, she thinks he is the biggest threat to both of their final tribal councils. Once again, Hayley agreed that it was a wonderful idea despite intending to stick with the duo should Flick not win the next immunity since she can easily beat the others in the final immunity challenge.

Undeterred, Flick approached Cara and pointed out that she needs to make a move for the jury by taking out George if she wants any chance of winning. And well, Cara was not interested at all. As such, she went for a walk with George with them having a good old laugh about not voting each other out next which TBH does make me more and more nervous. As does the fact George just wants anyone but Flick to win immunity. Which is where this is ending up, right?

The duo quickly worked out that should Flick be immune, it would likely finish in a tie between Hayley and George meaning the duo would need to compete in a fire challenge to continue in the game. Knowing that George has no fire skills at all, Cara pulled him aside and coached him how to use a flint and while it was a bit slapstick at the start, she did prove to be a decent teacher.

Dear Jonathan arrived for the massive final four immunity challenge where the group would face off by racing over a net to collect balls which they will use to release puzzle pieces. They would then build a ladder with the puzzle pieces, untie a bucket and then fill it with water and walk it through hurdles before using the water to release even more balls which they then have to land in a ball puzzle.

Desperate, Flick got out to an early lead, whipping through the challenge as the others just tried to keep up the pace. Hayley overtook her with some killer throws however, quickly building her stairs as Flick and Cara lagged slightly behind. George eventually joined the fun on the stair puzzle as Cara joined Hayley on the bucket section. Well, briefly. As Hayley started landing her balls while Flick finally finished with her stairs. Hayley had landed three balls by the time Flick closed the gap and joined her at the puzzle. As Hayley landed her fourth ball, Cara joined the fun and quickly landed a ball just after Flick. Flick and Cara methodically landed their balls as Hayley grew more and more desperate before Flick slipped in and snatched immunity.

Back at camp Flick was thrilled to finally have a bit of power in the game, before realising that the final immunity challenge is usually endurance and as such, Hayley is the biggest threat to her game. With that in her mind, she approached Cara and quickly locked her in on the Hayley vote.

But all was not lost yet, as Hayley realised she was the biggest threat and Cara and George flipping Flick would send her home immediately. Hayley pulled Flick aside and shared how grateful she was to have spoken the day before, doubling down on the need to get rid of George if any of them want to have a chance at winning. Obviously Flick agreed with this plan too, so off Hayley trotted to chat to Cara where she learned that Flick was playing her and was planning to vote her out as the only threat to winning final immunity. Which obviously panicked Hayley, asking Cara if she was truly considering turning on her. Rather than say, pointing out that Cara needs Hayley there in the final challenge if Cara wants any chance of winning, given Flick has the jury stacked in her favour.

As Cara laughed about the absurdity of Flick suggesting Cara help her win the next challenge, she rightly pointed out that Hayley would take her to the final two if it was the three girls at the end. Hayley reiterated how important it is for Cara to make a move and get rid of George to give herself a shot, but she just wasn’t sure whether she could do it emotionally. Hayley then found George and made the exact same plea to him, pointing out that if he is in the final three with Flick and Cara, he has no shot of making it to the end and has to settle for third place. She then locked in her vote for Cara and told him that she hopes he joins her but understands if he doesn’t. And then up and left him.

George and Cara then caught up, pledging their love for each other and praising each other for the games they have played. They then joined Hayley and the trio gave each other a group hug to celebrate their successes before heading to tribal council for their official break up.

At tribal council the jury were delighted to see Flick wearing immunity before she shared that it is nice to feel calm and secure after a good week or two of being the target. George admitted that without immunity, Flick would be a goner but instead, one of the close trio is going out. Hayley admitted that while she, Cara and George all have different compelling stories, they need to get to the final two and given neither of them are great in challenges, they need her. She pointed out that Flick is definitely going to win in the final two, given the jury loves her, but their chances are better against her and whoever is in the final three with her and Flick would be the one she would choose to take.

George reminded Cara that Hayley is the ultimate challenge threat, while Cara simply praised Hayley’s killer pitch. George tried to create doubt, pointing out that Hayley winning final immunity is guaranteed if she gets there with Hayley pointing out that that isn’t the worst thing, given Flick beats anyone at the end. Flick pointed out that she will be going strategic with her vote, while George and Cara both said that they would be sticking with their final two leaving poor Hayley to once again reiterate that they need to think beyond three now and instead look to two and who they would have the best shot against.

With that the tribe voted and both George and Care turned on each other, with Hayley banding with George to send Cara out of the game to join the far-better-than-winning Fourth Place Robbed Goddesses Club.

As Cara walked into Jury Villa, I couldn’t contain myself any longer and ran out to pull her in for a big hug. You see, the empath Real Estate community is quite small and as such, Cara and I quickly bonded and became the best of friends. I didn’t tell you I was a Sydney Real Estate Tycoon? Oh, I was. Anyway, Cara and I are dear friends, so I was gutted to see her felled so close to the end. Until I remembered the aforementioned placement as a FPRG, after which, I toasted to her success and whipped up a comforting Cara Spaghettchison & Meatballs.

Despite my passion for all things balls, I never got the appeal of Spaghetti and Meatballs as a kid. I think it probably has something to do with the fact I felt there was less sauce involved and as such, resented it. But then I woke up to myself and realised that those big juicy balls, dripping in sauce and covered generously with the sharpest parmesan are perfection. And the rest, as they say, is history.

Enjoy!

Cara Spaghettchison & Meatballs
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
250g beef mince
250g pork mince
10 garlic cloves, minced
1 egg, whisked
¼ cup grated parmesan, plus extra for serving
¼ cup breadcrumbs
small handful Italian parsley, roughly chopped
100ml milk
salt and pepper, to taste
olive oil
1 onion, diced
1 carrot, peeled and grated
1 celery stalk, diced
1 tsp dried oregano
1 tsp dried basil
500ml passata
100ml water
1 tsp raw caster sugar
500g dried spaghetti

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Start by combining the minces, four garlic cloves, the egg, parmesan, breadcrumbs, parsley and milk in a large bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Scrunch together until well combined before rolling into 12 large meatballs. Place on a lined baking sheet and bake for 15 minutes.

Meanwhile, heat a lug of olive oil in a dutch oven and saute the onion, carrot and celery over medium low heat for five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the remaining garlic and cook for another minute before stirring in the oregano, basil, passata, water and sugar. Bring to the boil before reducing heat to low and simmering for 15 minutes.

Once glorious and thick, stir through the meatballs, pop on a lid and simmer for a further 15 minutes.

While that is simmering, cook the spaghetti as per pack instructions before draining, serving and topping with the big, saucy balls. And then coating in parmesan.

And then devouring.


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Spicy Artichoke Simone Pasta

Main, Pasta, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 1, TV, TV Recap

Given Art already had an episode of my love, I’m going to keep things brief.

Art truly is the future of drag.

On top of being funny, filthy and oh so fierce! She was an absolute joy to watch all season, providing hilarious commentary, giving us heartfelt moments and while she never took out a win, I’ve got a feeling that she will have a triumphant run on a future All Stars season.

You heard it here first!

And obviously I told her of this as I pulled her into my arms, cast aside the snag rolls and gave her a fresh bowl of more finalist friendly, Spicy Artichoke Simone Pasta.

Salt, creamy and packing a kick, this very basic pasta tastes anything but! Plus, you can whip it up in sub-twenty minutes – genuinely, Jamie Oliver – which is very important to me as I age.

Enjoy!

Spicy Artichoke Simone Pasta
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g rigatoni
700g marinated artichoke hearts, drained
⅓ cup olive oil
1 lemon, zested and juiced
1 tbsp chilli flakes
1 cup parmesan, grated
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Bring a large pot of water to the boil over high heat. Heavily salt and add the pasta before cooking per packet instructions.

While the pasta is gettin’ al dente, place the artichoke, oil, lemon, chilli and half the parmesan in a food processor with a good whack of salt and pepper, and blitz to form a smooth, velvety paste. 

Drain the pasta, reserving a cup of the cooking liquid. Combine the cooked pasta with the puree and stir to combine, adding as much liquid as required to make it saucy. Fold through the remaining cheese and again, add more liquid as needed.

When at the desired consistency, serve immediately, top with more parmesan just because and then devour. Triumphantly.


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Tortelektra Shock

Main, Pasta, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 1, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under the final six were tasked with making over six sexy gay rugby players, who upon completion, were well and truly feeling their oats. The delightful wacky Kita finally scored her first victory of the season after slaying the makeover and nailing the family resemblance. On the other end of the spectrum, Scarlet well and truly had a fall from grace and bombed, focusing more on her own look rather than the makeover. Sadly for Elektra, she wasn’t down for the count, however, as Maxi landed in the bottom with her and was tragically felled. Likely only because of her track record.

Backstage the queens proudly toasted their iconic sister, delighted by the fact her signature is made up of giant tits. Thankfully Elektra got to gloriously rip on Scarlet for doing the splits in her lip sync and let’s just say, Scarlet was not happy about having to pretend she wasn’t bothered by the comment. Before she could fully unleash her rage, everyone rallied around to congratulate Kita on her victory, with Karen rightly pointing out that she is really the one to beat at the moment. Talk turned to the need to win a challenge to win the show, with Art looking very attacked by the fact she is the only one left without a victory. But where there is a Velour, there is a way and Art isn’t bothered. Which is why she is an icon.

The next day Scarlet was a little bit more relaxed about being in the bottom last week, though was still annoyed enough to be shady about Art’s second chance. Which we all got over weeks ago, right? Like she wants everyone to get over some of her past performances. Kita shared that she journaled who she thought she’d make it to the end with at the start of the competition, admitting it was the rest of the queens. Except Elektra. Which once again fired Elektra up to remind everyone that she is just as talented as them. Her basic outfits be damned.

The potential drama was interrupted by Ru who joined them to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge, the dolls would be putting on a little talent show for the judges. Which should be the perfect way to showcase all the queens before the finale. Right? As the victor of the last challenge, Kita was able to choose the order in which they will perform and damn, please, be shady as hell. PLEASE.

Scarlet nervously tried to influence where she was placed, before Art suggested Kita sit on it before locking in her decision. With that, they split up to rehearse with Kita prepping a magic act as Art appeared to be doing a work out routine in the background. In the most demented way possible. Elektra was obviously going to dance – despite Karen reminding her she needs to remember to look good while doing it – while Scarlet was preparing a pole dance. Oh and then Elektra quietly pulled Kita aside, begging to be the last performer. Which is also where ameteur Demi Moore in Striptease wanted to go.

Kita pulled the girls aside to lock in the order, going with Karen, Art, Kita, Scarlet and then Elektra. And hot damn, did young Scarlet throw an epic tantrum about it! I mean, it almost rivalled Alaska’s in All Stars 2. Before she quickly pretended to be very unbothered by it as Kita really didn’t seem to care, so instead, she vowed to destroy everyone.

Ru arrived with the iconic Raven to chat with the queens. Elektra was up first, sharing that she plans to do a slowed down dance as Raven began flirting with her and to follow from last week, they should start an Only Fans. Elektra pointed out that she has x factor and can always work on the rest – like her outfits and make-up and well, that is very true. Kita shared that she would be doing quick change magic, with Ru admitting that she hates magic passionately, leaving Raven to give her the pep talk instead. Kita spoke about feeling guilty for winning the week before, with Raven wisely reminding her to get out of her head and to stop second guessing herself. Lest she messes up.

Scarlet got the slutty boots out to talk about her pole dancing routine, explaining how dangerous her inverted split will be. Oh and did she mention, she’d never done it before. And ugh, we know where this is heading, don’t we? Boo. Art outlined that she would be doing a serious commentary on the media, using the second most talented hole on the body – her mouth. Art asked Raven for advice about surviving life post drag race, with she and Ru reminding her to never venture into the comment section. Which is wise. Even for a mild celebrity like me! Oh and Karen will be doing some clown work and making balloon animals. Which, lol. Oh and Ru then shadily pointed out that Karen has started to flatline in the competition which hopefully fired her up to step out of her comfort zone and slay the judges.

After they left, Karen started to panic about delivering a sexy balloon artist instead and spiralled. Driving everyone mental, particularly Elektra who wanted Karen to listen to Ru’s advice because that is exactly why she herself has started to succeed in the competition.

Elimination Day arrived with the queens well and truly stressed out about the make or break challenge. Karen meanwhile had decided to change her act, but didn’t want to talk to anyone and instead focused on getting ready. Which obviously meant that Art continued to talk to her, which I think was her trying to help get her out of her head rather than being shady. Elektra spoke about how confident she was before we took a very hard pivot with Art, who opened up about getting death threats after performing drag Christmas carols on Chapel Street. And how her own cousin made death threats against her because they were jealous that Art was living the life that they wanted before they died by suicide. She then told her sisters that she is always there for them all and fuck, I don’t care if she has no wins, give her the damn crown.

At the talent show Ru, Michelle and Rhys were delighted by Karen’s sexy showgirl turn as she violated all the balloons on their way to making poodles. Well and truly leaving the judges wanting more. Art was bizarre and demented while shoving entire foods into her large mouth without chewing. And I absolutely lived. Kita came out ready to win, serving energy and fire as she slowly did stripper-reveal magic. Which is honestly something you can’t describe. Scarlet meanwhile did her pole dance to the theme of House of Drag, absolutely slaying the house down and thankfully not cracking her skull and bleeding out mid-performance. And then Elektra served a moody, contemporary dance routine and was great. But the vibe didn’t feel like it would be Drag Race enough for the judges.

On the How’s Your Head … Piece runway Karen was stunning as a giant pink poodle, Art was a garden fairy with butterflies flying around her head. Thankfully fake and moving, unlike Asia’s. Kita was a glorious robotic, sexy club kid with a wig of lights. Scarlet was a stunning, shimmering showgirl and Elektra was a Fosse dream, complete with a swing.

The judges lived for Karen’s runway, but felt her talent was good but way too short. The judges lived for Art’s glorious runway and her talent, despite not knowing what she was doing. Kita was praised for her energy, though was read for the bland outfits in her talent. Though they loved her runway. Scarlet received universal praise for everything she did this week, while Elektra was read for not being drag enough in the talent show  – see?! – despite being more than ready to appear in Sia’s next video.

Wanting to make things shady, Ru asked the dolls who they each thought should go home tonight, with Karen saying Elektra should go because she has gone as far as she can go and her storyline is already so epic. Which Art, Kita and Scarlet all quickly agreed with, while Elektra suggested it should instead be Art. Given that Art hasn’t grown in the competition. And you know, since she has already been eliminated once.

As the girls Untucked, Elektra was annoyed that they all piled on her but knew that it was the easiest choice. Art meanwhile was unbothered that she was identified as the one to go by Elektra because she just doesn’t really give a shit. Thankfully The Veronica’s arrived to kiki with the girls before Elektra and Kita could delve into the drama. They shared with the girls that Scarlet will definitely win, and Elektra will be joined in the bottom by either Karen or Kita. Talk turned to who they all thought would win the contest, with Art suggesting Scarlet, Scarlet went with Karen, Karen with Kita and Kita with Elektra. Because if she doesn’t win, the judges clearly aren’t looking for talent. 

Obviously Scarlet won the challenge, while Elektra found herself in the bottom. Somehow Karen narrowly avoided the bottom with Art, leaving Kita to battle it out against her fellow kiwi. Which is totally rigor morris. But you know, whatever. As The Veronicas’ Untouched got started Elektra pretended to quit before the duo absolutely left everything on the floor and fought for their lives. Hard. Kita was demented and hilarious, Elektra felt every moment. Given their track records though, it was Kita who was ultimately saved as she sobbed while holding her sister in her arms.

Backstage Elektra was the same charming, thirsty star I first fell in love with on House of Drag before pursuing as a lover. While I was specifically looking to marry anyone from New Zealand so I could move there and have Jacinda as my PM, I genuinely well in love with zaddy Elektra. The passion was instant, but I was tragically deported for not being friendly enough to live in NZ and our relationship fizzled out. So it was so nice to once again hold her in my arms and share a loving Tortelektra Shock together.

Cheesy, pillowy parcels of pasta slathered in a spicy sauce of sundried tomato and mushrooms, this is such a simple – dare I say basic – dish, but it tastes so damn good. Just like Elektra … ‘s talent.

Enjoy!

Tortelektra Shock
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 pack gow gee wrappers or portion of pasta dough
300g fresh ricotta
1 egg, whisked
⅓ cup parmesan cheese, freshly grated, plus extra to serve
4 garlic cloves, minced
salt and pepper, to taste
olive oil 
1 cup mushrooms, sliced
⅓ cup sundried tomato pesto
2 tsp chilli flakes
1 cup cream
small handful basil leaves, sliced

Method
If you’re not being lazy like me, start by prepping your pasta dough.

If going with gow gee, ignore them for the moment and instead focus on the filling. Combine the ricotta, egg, parmesan and two garlic cloves in a bowl with a good whack of salt and a better whack of pepper. Stir until well combined.

To make the pasta, place a teaspoon of the filling in the centre of a wrapper – or a 10cm square of pasta dough – and twist to form a tortellini. Repeat the process until it is all done.

While you get a large pot of water on to boil, heat a lug of olive oil in a medium frying pan and cook the mushrooms for five minutes or until browned and soft. Add the remaining garlic and cook for a further couple of minutes before stirring through the sundried tomato, chilli and cream. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and keep warm while you cook the pasta.

Once the pasta is floating in the top of the boiling water – because you put it in the water, which I’m only just reminding you to do now – scoop it out or drain and stir through the sauce with the basil.

Serve immediately with a good layer of parmesan and devour.


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Chicken & Cherry Ballotine

Main, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul’s Drag Race UK 2, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race UK 12 new queens arrived in jolly old London town to see if they could live up to my hype after the epic first season. Immediately thrust into a Wimbledon inspired photo shoot, Lawrence brought a stunning mess to the pic and took out the first victory of the season. Meanwhile on the mainstage the queens were tasked with two looks inspired by their UK gay icon and one proving why they’re the icon of their hometowns. Despite controversially rocking ASOS, Asttina took out the first victory victory while Joe Black was read for filth for not hitting her references and Bimini for being sloppy. But in the lip sync, she was anything but as she stole the show and saved herself sending the iconic Joe out of the competition.

The queens returned to the Werk Room with Bimini shell-shocked by the experience while my sweet Veronica just could not comprehend that someone as iconic and famous as Joe Black was eliminated first. Lawrence meanwhile was just processing the fact that the competition really can flip on its head in the matter of minutes, though did caution that maybe Bimini should pop on some undies. Speaking of Bimini, after scrubbing the mirror clean, as is their duty, they begged the girls to escort them to the couch so they could finally whip off their shoes. 

Sister Sister warned the girls that they have no idea how it actually feels to be in the bottom, while Lawrence continued to work her way further into my heart by telling them that they have no idea how it feels to top either. While they all laughed, Bimini wanted some drama – preach – and asked who the safe girls thought placed in the top and bottom. While Cherry got awkward, A’Whora was more than happy to share that everyone sans Lemon really thought Asttina should have been in the bottom thanks to her ASOS jacket. This led to Asttina pointing out she won and as such, it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks and they all just need to step their pussies up. Leaving Tia to rightly suggest they de-drag and go home.

Oh and Lemon tried on Bimini’s outfit which is iconic but not relevant in the slightest. I just love them both.

The next day tensions had returned to normal with Asttina proudly rocking the first badge of the season. Veronica mentioned that she was missing Joe already – bless nerdy boy Veronica, I love him so – before Lawrence admitted that Joe left her some nails as she didn’t really have enough to last the competition. This led to some killer banter between her and Lemon and ugh, the UK girls just have so much charm, wit and talent – I love them all! Cherry asked Tia if she was going to step up her runways now, with Tia admitting that she got her three shit ones out of the way so they all best get ready to be dominated. Oh and to us, she still doesn’t know how to read A’Whora.

Oh and I did not recognise Ellie out of drag and was V confused where that person had come from. Again, not relevant but thought you should know.

Ru arrived to put the queens to test in this week’s mini challenge where they would be required to ride the pole. By casting their vote for their drag cabinet for Secretary of Shade, Trade Minister (aka the hottest), Leader of the House of Lording It up (aka the cockiest) and Baroness Basic before stuffing the Pit Crew’s ballot box. With their votes, obviously – this is the BBC after all. After Ru tabulated the votes, the cabinet was announced with A’Whora elected as Secretary of Shade, Tayce won Trade Minister – Asttina was robbed – Lawrence Chaney won Leader of the House of Lording it Up and Baroness Basic went to Tia Kofi. Obviously.

Oh and then Ru announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge they’ll be singing and performing live – Charlie was right – in the debut performance of Rats: The Rusical. With only Michelle to help get their vocals over the line. Oh and then Tia was given the power to cast the show, given she was called basic and damn, this is going to be fun. Wait, no, Tia just wants it to be good and isn’t going to ruin it for anyone else. Sigh.

Veronica was feeling her singing oats, Asttina too was confident while Veronica and Cherry fought it out for the lead role Evita, with Veronica ultimately getting it, given it is the harder role and Tia wants to look after the less confident Cherry. Tia asked Lawrence why she was being so quiet, with Lawrence admitting to straight up being terrified given singing and dancing are not her gig. A’Whora was ultimately given the villain – which tracks –  while Bimini requested the non-singing role paired with it. The hoodrat parts went to Tayce and Ellie, after the latter was forced to audition for Tia. Sister, Cherry and Lawrence meanwhile formed a trio, with Sister not caring enough to fight being cast as the Rat Pack extras and Lawrence continuing to spiral with nerves. Leaving Tia the show stopping cameo for herself.

On the mainstage the queens met with Michelle and her vocal coach Dane Chalfin, with Sister, Cherry and Lawrence clearly nervous. A’Whora and was told she was holding back while Bimini was firing on all cylinders. Veronica quickly shut up everyone that doubted her while Asttina was lost next to her. Ginny rocked it as Judy Stench, while Tia was cautioned that by going the route of giving herself the smaller role she really needs to nail it and steal the show. And finally, Tayce and Ellie were both called out for being difficult to understand.

Michelle and Dane exited leaving Jay Revell and Kieran Daley Ward to get the girls up to speed with their choreo. Immediately flooding Ginny’s basement. Once again Bimini was super confident, while A’Whora just couldn’t rough it up for the role. Tayce and Ellie slayed, Veronica and Asttina worked well together, though Veronica was starting to get in her head that she really needs to win. Which may not end well. Ginny and Tia forgot their lines while Lawrence just wanted to slink into the background as she struggled and poor Cherry just wanted Lawrence and Sister to get it together so they can work through what they need to do. Lawrence started to break down, sharing that she is struggling to be this far out of her comfort zone while the rest of the girls tried to rally around her. It was relatable and sweet, so I’m obviously not going to be shady about it.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone full of energy as they got into rat drag, except for Lawrence who continued to get more and more nervous. On the other end of the spectrum, Tayce and A’Whora were busy flirting it up and alluding to their past time together. Cherry and Sister spoke about how happy the are to have each other in the competition, with Cherry sharing that she grew up as a traveller and how that contradicts with being gay. Despite the fact all the women in his family are camp as hell, the men, however, are all super butch. She spoke about struggling to be proud of being gay and share emotions and well, it was just a really nice wholesome bonding moment and again, I love them all.

On the mainstage Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by Sheridan Smith for the premiere of Rats: The Rusical which opened with a flush. Literally. Veronica had a fire from her very first note, Ginny was hilarious, Lawrence continued to struggle with her nerves and Bimini was delightfully bonkers. Tayce and Ellie missed a cue, but managed to end their duet strongly. Lawrence warmed up throughout the show and leaned into her comedy, Sister was demented and Cherry kinda go lost, despite nailing rehearsal. Bimini owned her duet, despite A’Whora warming into the role. Attina was well and truly overshadowed by Veronica which is more a compliment to the latter, given Asttina was giving it her all. Oh and Tia’s strategy paid off as she stole the damn show with a killer final number.

On the Surprise, Surprise reveal runway, A’Whora slayed going from groom to bride. Lawrence was a bit awkward going from blueberry to tartan, Ginny was an icon, revealing the EXACT same dress under the first one, just with a bottom window included, giving them the hole nine yards. Cherry was camp and demented, going from yellow puff to pregnant lady. Tia had a killer concept going from leather daddy before slaying as a showgirl or the dancing lady emoji. Ellie went from Scarecrow to Tin Man before offering a third look, as the Cowardly Lion. Asttina Mandela went from death to sexy ninja and damn, my basement is not just flooding but overflowing. Sister Sister was a floral dame before going full dominatrix demon, in the best way. And then Veronica arrived and stole the damn show, going from Stepford Wife to full blown robot. Poor Tayce was next, going from cape to gown to dying in a bodysuit and well, I feel sorry for her following Veronica. Bimini then walked out in a corset with balloons full of paint which was an iconic concept that tragically just failed as hard as Asia and the butterflies. 

Ultimately A’Whora, Ginny, Asttina, Sister Sister and Bimini were deemed safe, leaving the rest to be praised or read for filth. Lawrence sadly was the latter with the judges feeling she was good in the show but needed to get out of her way. And her reveal was quite boring. The judges felt Cherry’s inner saboteur took her down this week and while she was good, she fell flat. The judges lived for everything Tia Kofi did this week except for her showgirl look. Ellie received universal praise for everything she did but well, they clearly loved everything Veronica Green did just that little bit more. I am so proud of her! Oh and Tayce was praised for looking stunning despite being overshadowed in the show and well, very basic on the runway.

Backstage Bimini was thrilled to be safe but heartbroken her reveal didn’t pan out. Ginny spoke about it being so much harder than they expected. The tops and bottoms returned, with Lawrence feeling ok. Sister Sister admitted that she felt Lawrence brought her down this week, with Lawrence getting offended while Sister just wanted to find a way to keep going rather than breaking down. Tayce said the judges felt everything she did was a bit flat while Cherry felt like she was being ignored, despite being in the bottom and clearly emotional. She shared she was scared and wanted to get out of her head. Talk turned to Veronica being quiet and riding under the radar, with her hoping it was a warning shot that she was here for victory. Oh and Tia was thrilled to learn that she is hella basic and congratulated the girls for identifying it earlier.

Ultimately Tia and Ellie were deemed safe, handing Veronica an extremely well-deserved victory before Lawrence’s personality saved her from the bottom two, leaving Cherry and Tayce to battle it out to Memory. And holy shit, while it isn’t exactly the most drag friendly song, the duo serve it, tapping into the emotion and frankly, breaking my heart. Both girls felt every feel however Tayce had light and shade, going from heartbreak to rage, quivering lip and fire in her eyes. Despite Cherry rocking it as a fragile leading lady, it wasn’t enough as Tayce was sent to safety and poor Cherry was sent home. Vowing to fight and never let anyone overlook them ever again.

Backstage I was still COVID naive as I pulled Cherry into a massive hug and reminded her how great she is and how proud of her I am. You see, I first met Cherry a decade or so ago when planning a family member’s traveller wedding (I was meant to appear on a rival reality TV show about these weddings, but D’Andra Simmons got me removed like I was LeeAnne in that defunct show).

But I digress.

I was taken by Cherry’s charm and nervous energy, so I took her under my wing and encouraged her to shine. Yes, ladies and gentleman, I am her drag mother. Thus the pride. But I digress, again. Cherry was thrilled to see me backstage and glad I had a delicious Chicken & Cherry Ballotine waiting to cheer her up again.

The salty prosciutto and tart cherries work harmoniously to create a ballotine that you can’t stop devouring. Particularly when feeling down or if the weather is shit. Or if you are happy. Or you know, whenever – this is just really tasty and super easy.

Enjoy!

Chicken & Cherry Ballotine
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
½ cup morello cherries, drained and chopped
¼ cup panko breadcrumbs
1 egg
2 tbsp grated parmesan
2 tsp fresh thyme leaves
1 tsp fresh oregano, roughly chopped
1 tsp chilli flakes
4 garlic cloves, minced
salt and pepper, to taste
8 slices prosciutto
2 chicken breasts, sliced in half to form two thinner fillets

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C.

Combine the cherries, breadcrumbs, egg, parmesan, thyme, oregano, garlic and chilli with a good whack of salt and pepper.

Meanwhile line the prosciutto on a piece of cling, with the long sides overlapping. Place the chicken breast pieces over the top, before forming the stuffing into a sausage and placing in the middle. Roll the chicken into a sausage, using the prosciutto to seal it in.

Place seam side down on a lined baking sheet and transfer to the oven to bake for half an hour, or until the chicken is cooked through and the prosciutto crispy. Leave to rest for ten minutes, before slicing into discs and serving with a generous heaping of mash.


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Sarah Mozzarellacina Sticks

Cheese, Party Food, Snack, Survivor, Survivor: Winners at War, Tapas, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Survivor after everyone flushed their idols at the last tribal council, Tony got up in the middle of the night to start his hunt. Sadly for him, the sun came up before he found it, leading the rest of the tribe to join him, where Natalie continued to Chris her return and snatched the idol out from under him. This spooked Ben, Sarah and Tony who worried she had found it, questioning what it would mean if she or Michele won immunity. The trio got lucky, however, as Tony secured his fourth win, moving the target onto Michele. Thankfully her run wasn’t meant to end there, as Ben told Sarah he wouldn’t mind if she voted him out, knowing it makes it that much easier for her to win the fire challenge and gives her a move that is all her own. And while it wasn’t really a move, given she had permission, she joined the girls and sent him to the jury.

We opened straight up at the final immunity challenge, high on a hill in Fiji, which provided an epic backdrop for an epic challenge where they each had to drop balls into a track at various intervals without dropping one at the other end. You know, the final immunity challenge that kicked off our Survivor coverage ten seasons ago. The one where Wentworth broke down in tears after losing Second Chances. And fun fact thanks to Probst, everyone that won this challenge as final immunity has gone on to win the game. So the stakes were just that little bit higher.

That being said, it isn’t great to recap given there is no telling how anyone is going. The final four all made it to three balls, however it was Tony that was the first to drop not long after. The women all made it to four balls which immediately took out Sarah, leaving the iconic Jersey girls to battle it out for immunity. And likely take the other to the end. Queens. Both made it to a record equaling five balls which proved to make it super tough on them, with Natalie saving herself multiple times before Michele dropped, handing Natalie final immunity after becoming the first boot. And honestly, I am so proud – she got Reem’s redemption!

Back at camp Natalie was thrilled to join the Amanda, Sandra, Parvati, Russel and Rob – and Sharn, I guess – club by making it to the final tribal council twice. Meanwhile the other three all dispersed to practice making fire, with Tony struggling and Michele, the icon, quickly building them. By the shore, Natalie was debating who was the best person to take with her to the end and more importantly, who she wanted to add winning the fire making challenge to their resume. While Michele was nervous, she was hopeful that she could win the challenge and more importantly, could claim a huge scalp in front of the jury just before final tribal. Echoing that sentiment, Sarah was hoping to go to the challenge, knowing how much it could do for her game. Plus, Tony is stuck in his head and as such, it may be an easy win for her.

At tribal council Natalie delighted the jury when they saw her wearing immunity, before she spoke about how dreamlike the scenario was, given it was the only thing that kept her going on Extinction. Michele spoke about how Natalie took time out after the challenge, leaving the other three to practice on fire instead which Michele did. Very successfully. Tony and Sarah were also full of bravado, before Sarah started to tear up talking about how she ultimately wants to face off against her ally and take him out, rather than someone else. Michele too wanted to be the one to take out Tony, which Natalie agreed is a big achievement, however she wasn’t willing to leave it to chance. Ultimately Natalie chose for Michele to be the next to join the double final tribal council club, leaving Cops R Us to battle it out for the final slot. And let’s be honest, it feels like the win.

With that Tony and Sarah sat down at the fire making stations and after some light smacktalk, got to work. Natalie and Michele quietly cheered Sarah on from the sidelines, while they both struggled to get a flame. Tony was the first to get fire, quickly building it with kindling in the hope that it took off. Sarah soon followed with a flame, following his strategy and honestly, it was neck and neck. Both were calm and methodical, as Sarah’s flame started to lick at the ropes, while Tony’s started to die. Sadly Sarah’s soon followed, giving Tony time to build his up and take the lead. And while Sarah tried to get hers back, both the fires were licking at the rope for what felt like an eternity before Tony’s burnt through, sending him to the final tribal and Sarah out of the game.

With the most iconic final placings ever – behind Tina – as the first juror, winner and final juror. Sarah and Tony hugged and cried, praising each other for playing a hard game and staying loyal, as Sarah told Tony to finish what they started out trying to do. As she arrived at Ponderosa, she was kinda shocked that I ran straight into her arms and congratulated her on playing such a killer game. Maybe it had something to do with me trash talking her win, I don’t know? I apologised for not appreciating the dominant way she plays, and admitted I was grateful that this season showed me exactly why she is an icon. And served up a piping hot batch of Sarah Mozzarellacina Sticks to apologise.

It goes without saying that mozzarella sticks are absolutely delicious. Smooth, melty cheese coated in a hot, crunchy shell and served with marinara sauce? The. DREAM.

Enjoy!

Sarah Mozzarellacina Sticks
Serves: 2 dear friends.

Ingredients
½ cup flour
salt and pepper, to taste
2 eggs
2 ½ cups panko breadcrumbs
½ tsp cayenne pepper
500g block mozzarella, cut into 1.5cm thick sticks
vegetable oil, for fryin’
grated parmesan cheese, to serve
1 cup Amber Marinara Sauce, to serve

Method
Combine the flour in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Whisk the eggs in a second bowl, and combine the panko and cayenne in a third.

Line a baking sheet before tossing the mozzarella in the seasoned flour. Working one by one, dip them in the egg, before tossing through the spiced breadcrumbs to completely coat. Pop on the baking sheet and repeat the process until done, before transferring to the fridge for 20 minutes to set.

Pour about 2cm worth of oil in a wide frying pan and pop it over medium heat. Once nice and hot, fry the sticks for a couple of minutes, flipping once, or until golden and crisp. Transfer to a plate lined with some paper towel and repeat the process until done.

Transfer to a bowl or plate, whatever feels right, sprinkle with parmesan and serve with some Amber Marinara Sauce for dippin’.


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Ben Driebergenovese Pizza

Main, Pizza, Survivor, Survivor: Winners at War, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Survivor everyone at the Edge of Extinction packed up their camp and headed off to the final return challenge. Though not before the rich – read, Natalie – purchased advantages in the challenge. Despite Jeffra Bezos literally able to skip three stages of the challenge, the first obstacle held her up and it was quite a tight race before she surged through the course and did what Reem couldn’t, returning to the game as the first boot. Back in the game nobody believed she had an idol, so after Winchele won immunity, everyone set their eyes on her. Sadly, she did play her idol and negated four votes for herself. That led to Tony playing his idol, as did Ben, negating the other two votes in the process. The tribe then re-voted on the only vulnerable people, with Denise finally sent to the jury.

The final five returned to camp with Tony chastising Ben and Sarah for not listening to him and for now making them all vulnerable at the next tribal council. With three idols played at the last tribal council, Tony knew that one more would be hidden for the final time this season and as such, got to work searching the island for it under the cover of darkness. He sadly came up short, meaning that dawn broke and he was joined by everyone, meaning it was anybody’s game. Except it wasn’t, as it was Natalie’s as once again, as she found an idol, giving her and Michele one hell of an advantage going into the next tribal council and hot damn do I ship the shit out of this duo. The girls went back to camp to chill, leaving Ben and Tony to grow worried that one of them found it, realising they would officially be screwed should the other take out immunity.

With that, my love Jeffrey arrived for the final five immunity challenge where they would race through a series of obstacles over the water to find keys before using said keys to unlock two sacks, which they would need to land on a pedestal. Natalie got out to an early lead, with Ben, Sarah and Michele nipping at their heels and Tony at the end. Natalie and Ben were neck and neck getting their sacks, before Sarah and Tony joined them, followed by Michele. Ben was the first to land a sack, followed by Tony leaving the boys to battle it out before Tony finally got his second to stay, securing his fourth immunity of the season.

Back at camp Natalie was still hopeful of breaking up the Ben, Tony and Sarah trio, thinking that maybe Sarah would be open to flipping on them. Meanwhile Tony grew nervous of the vote ahead, so enlisted Sarah to lead the girls to under his spy nest so they could gather intel. She lured Natalie there, but Natalie was smart(ish) and threw out the fact that getting rid of Ben is important to all of their games, given nobody can beat him in fire. The ish part is because she shared the fact she had an idol, giving Tony a crucial piece of information. Despite Sarah agreeing to join them to take out Ben, she went straight back to Tony and suggested that Natalie will only play it for herself and as such, they need to vote out Michele instead.

Meanwhile on the flipside, Natalie took the information back to Michele and while she was hopeful they could woo Sarah, Michele quickly said that she wasn’t flipping and as such, she would next. At the shelter Sarah approached Ben and out of nowhere he told her to put his name down with the girls if needed and boost her resume. But only if she goes out there and wins. Both of them broke down in tears, with Ben just wanting to make friends this time, rather than winning, while Sarah was broken over hurting her friend, though knew she couldn’t win without a move like taking him out. And well, Natalie and Michele were just terrified and unsure how to keep themselves together to the end.

At tribal council Sarah continued to push to be called Lacina, while Probst spoke about how the game of Survivor forces them to get introspective. Sarah spoke about how she never savours the highlights of her experiences and instead focuses on her failures. Ben agreed with the sentiments, talking about how he wanted to play a more social, caring game this time around and go home feeling good about himself. Tony spoke about how different it is playing to watching it on TV, before talk turned to the dwindling numbers. Sarah spoke about surviving the night and putting herself in the best position for the final challenge. Ben spoke about being brave and staying positive while Michele spoke about coming up against a wall for the last week and as such, isn’t leaning too far into her optimistic side.

With that the tribe voted, once again Natalie played her idol however it was pointless, given Sarah had followed through and joined the girls to get rid of Ben. Though with his permission, which kinda takes away from its power. As Ben arrived at Ponderosa I shook his hand and congratulated him on making friends along the way, before handing over a piping hot Ben Driebergenovese Pizza and called it a day.

Did I strategically weaponise the Survivor Pizza Curse to get rid of Ben? Maybe. But given he was all in on making friends this go around, he can’t hold it against me. And given it is delicious, why would he.

Enjoy!

Ben Driebergenovese Pizza
Serves: 2-4.

Ingredients
2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
½ cup Toni Basil Pesto
2 potatoes, thinly sliced
salt and pepper, to taste
¼ cup mozzarella, grated
½ cup parmesan, grated

Method
Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 180°C.

Smear the bases with pesto, top with the potato, season and sprinkle with mozzarella and parmesan.  Pop it in the oven to bake for 15 minutes, or until bubbly and golden. Then devour.


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Pizza Bakim Spudlins

Lunch, Main, Pizza, Survivor, Survivor: Winners at War, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Tyson was coaching his fellow Edge dwellers in the art of losing, given he had now surpassed Rob for the number of times booted. The highlight of the little interlude, however, was Parvati and Natalie finding an extortion advantage where they could charge someone in the game however many Fire Tokens they wanted, otherwise they wouldn’t be able to play in the upcoming immunity challenge or vote at tribal council. Of course they went to Tony, who quickly charmed tokens from his fan club before winning immunity. Oh and he also found a hidden immunity idol, but that wasn’t relevant yet. In any event, while everyone wanted to split the vote between Jeremy and Michele, Tony rallied the troops to boot Sophie to make sure Sarah’s loyalty lied with him and him alone.

We returned to camp where Tony quickly tried to deflect his well thought out plan as merely a last minute decision, while Ben simmered in his jocks that his hit on Jeremy fell through. And hot damn, how funny it was to watch him sulk and ignore Jeremy while Jeremy rolled his eyes like a bloody icon. Speaking of being unhappy, Sarah was well and truly pissed at Tony for taking out her other closest ally as it clearly shows that he is making moves that solely benefit him. Despite assuring us that she was going to keep calm and carry on, she pulled grimy Tony away from camp and proceeded to tear him a new arsehole for ruining her game. Talking about how screwed she now is loud enough for the people she is talking about to hear. Tony tried to keep her calm and remind her that they have an idol in their pocket before Sarah agreed to forgive him until the point where it screws her.

Tony continued his apology tour, approaching Ben to assure him that he still wants to work with him and only went rogue to take out a bigger threat. Tony filled him in on the idol intel before Ben assured us that Jeremy will still be a target from now on. Oh and then Tony got shat on by a bird in the middle of the night. Which is important.

The next day Tony decided it was time to bring back his old faithful move of spying, this time taking to the sky in a well hidden perch atop a tree. Sarah hilariously arrived to tell him that nobody would be going to the well any time soon and that he should just go back to camp. Jeremy, Kim and Ben were back at camp, with Ben still refusing to talk to Jeremy while Kim decided now was the time to form an alliance to deal with Tony and Sarah. More specifically, Tony. With that, she approached Denise, Nick and Michele who were all keen to take control and get rid of Tony while they still had the chance.

Meanwhile on the Edge of Extinction Rob discovered a note instructing everyone to retrieve 20 coconuts each from the other side of the island, with the first six to finish getting two fire tokens while the rest get none. With that they were off and racing, with Rob out in front and Adam close to the back, while Danni decided to pace herself. Almost instantly Rob decided pacing himself would be the smartest move, taking the foot off the gas to reduce the target on his back. Obviously Natalie powered like a machine, while Adam continued to languish at the back of the pack. Well until Rob sliced his elbow open and gave up. At the front with Natalie was Sophie and honestly, why don’t people see her as the challenge beast that she is. As such, the girls were first to finish, followed by Yul, Tyson and Parv together, leaving Danni and Wendell to battle for the last tokens, with Wendell tragically taking it out. With everyone out of the race, Rob decided that he couldn’t let the challenge beat him and as such, he got back to work to see it through.

Meanwhile at Koru, Jeremy was still confused about why Ben was so salty with him, while Tony and Sarah continued to bicker, much to the delight of Nick. Amidst the chaos, Nick decided that now is the time to make an endgame deal, so approached Michele and Denise to form a final three, with the duo pulling Kim in for a controlling four given Nick knows that Jeremy, Tony and Sarah are all guaranteed to beat him. Speaking of the latter two, they stopped fighting long enough to realise that Sophie’s idol would now be back in play and as such, they need to find it to take control. But that is something that everyone had realised, as the tribe went hunting for it. Ben and Tony got together, with Ben sharing that Kim was trying to put together a plan against him, however the discussion was interrupted as Ben found the idol in front of Tony and, for reasons, TRIED TO HIDE IT.

Okay, so maybe not everyone is cementing their legacy this season.

My dear Probst arrived for the latest immunity challenge – the Teresa Cooper, Shi-Ann Huang and Parvati Shallow Memorial ‘When It Rains it Pours’. Aka, everyone’s hand is tethered above their head to a bucket of water with the last ones standing – of each gender, again –  taking out immunity. While Ben was busy asking Probst for some food to tempt him out of the challenge, Jeremy dropped out of nowhere. He was followed by Ben and Sarah in quick succession, while Tony assured Nick that he won’t be dropping out because he wants a hattrick, but assured him it doesn’t mean they aren’t good. After 15 minutes Probst brought out peanut butter, cookies and milk to step out, which Kim, Michele and Nick jumped at, handing Denise and Tony immunity out of nowhere.

Back at camp Tony celebrated yet another victory, while Kim was smarting to have lost her shot to take him out. She joined Michele, Nick, Denise and Ben to figure out who to target instead, with them agreeing that Jeremy would be the cleanest option for everyone. Well except for Michele, who has been closely aligned with him from the start. Meanwhile Ben decided to be the worst and approached Tony to let him know about Kim’s plan to get rid of him. Tony then approached Nick, who tried to bumble his way out of the truth before admitting that Kim had thrown his name out there. With that Tony filled in Sarah, with the duo deciding that sticking with getting rid of Jeremy makes sense, given they need to keep Ben happy to have any chance of getting numbers. With that, Tony pulled Ben aside and asked him to focus on getting rid of Kim instead, given getting rid of Jeremy will hand the girls and Nick power and as such, screw them over.

At the shelter, Michele approached Jeremy to figure out a way to save him, throwing the idea of handing him her 50/50 coin to save him. Tony then approached Jeremy, who suggested he take the coin before going to Ben and trying to smooth things over. And while it didn’t appear to work, he did get the coin from Michele.

At tribal council Denise likened the aftermath of the last tribal council to horrible family therapy. Kim reminded Probst that the numbers shift day by day, with Tony correcting her and saying it was actually minute by minute and Jeremy said it was like being on a neverending treadmill. Talk soon turned to Michele, Kim and Nick stepping out of the challenge, with the girls both saying how much they regretted it while Nick said he got paid a fire token, but yeah, still regretted it. As such, everyone started whispering and going wild trying to formulate a plan, leaving Probst to commentate, while Kim rightly focused her attention on getting answers from Sarah. Tony tried to rally the numbers against Kim, Nick refused to vote for her and said he was voting Jeremy before Denise decided to be mature and put a stop to everything and said that she just wants to vote and go back to camp.

And with that, the tribe voted and Tony offered to play his idol for Sarah, before she declined. Jeremy considered playing Michele’s 50/50 coin but also backed out, which turned out to be the right move, as the tribe voted the iconic Kim from the game. It hasn’t happened in a while, but given we lost two iconic women back-to-back again, she followed the sounds of my ugly cries to the boat to the Edge of Extinction. I quickly jumped into her arms and told her how heartbroken I was to see her voted out despite riding the bottom for such a long time. Which is also a passion of mine. In any event, Kim is strong as hell and has a strong chance of making a return to the game, so I wiped my tears and gave her some returnee sustenance in the form of my Pizza Bakim Spudlins.

Stuffed, baked potatoes are so warming and nostalgic, reminding me of cold winter tuck shops in the ‘90s. But this is so much more than ham and cheese. Loaded like a pizza, it is packed with all the gloriously Italian flavours you could dream of.

Enjoy!

Pizza Bakim Spudlins
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
4 large baking potatoes
1 tbsp olive oil
½ onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
80g sliced pepperoni, roughly chopped
400g can diced tomatoes
½ tsp caster sugar
salt and pepper, to taste
2 tsp dried oregano
small handful of basil, shredded
100g mozzarella, grated
50g parmesan cheese, grated

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Scrub the potatoes if needed and dry well, before pricking them several times with a skewer. Place on a lined baking sheet and bake in the oven for 90 minutes, or until the outside is crispy but they feel soft.

While the tates or tating, heat the oil in a frying pan over medium heat and cook for five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the garlic and pepperoni and cook for a couple of minutes to take the bitterness out of the garlic and to draw out the pepperoni oil, before you stir through the diced tomatoes. Bring to the boil, reduce to low and simmer for five minutes. Stir in the sugar and season with a good whack of salt and pepper, before stirring through the oregano and half of the basil.

Combine the cheeses in a bowl.

To serve, cut the potatoes into four, spoon over a generous ladleful of sauce, top with a generous helping of the cheese mixture and a sprinkle of the basil. And then, devour.


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Rob Mariagnocchi

Main, Pasta, Survivor, Survivor: Winners at War, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Survivor the wealth was spread a little bit on the Edge, as they were all offered a fire token for free if they could transport twenty logs from the top of the mountain to camp. Which they did, but not before breaking down emotionally and physically. Parv and Rob continued to grow closer on Sele, and hilariously caused a little chaos for Adam, telling Jeremy and Michele he was out to get them. Thankfully for Parv though, it wasn’t necessary, as Sele finally won another challenge thanks to Nick choking. Over at Dakal, Tyson tried to use Nick bombing the challenge to rally the tribe against him. Sadly though, Sandra couldn’t move past the fact he targeted her, so the rest of the tribe went with the easy vote and sent Tyson to the Edge.

We started things out by checking in on Dakal, where Queen Sandra was holding court and congratulating her underlings on making it a third of the way through. Nick was thrilled to have survived the last tribal and to see his hero Tyson booted instead, given he was causing disharmony. Well he was thrilled about it until he discovered that Tyson had bequeathed his fire token to him and as such, he worried he may have gotten rid of a potential ally. Which is some 4D chess from Tyson, TBH. Speaking of new bonds, Yul and Sarah were hanging out with the former sharing that he is shocked – and thrilled – to find that he likes them all on a personal level. He then shared that the only person he stayed in contact with from his season is the iconic Jonathan Penner. This then led to the heartbreaking reveal that Jonathan’s wife Stacey has been diagnosed with ALS, which has progressed rapidly and left them verging on ruin.

Yul then broke down in tears and oh my God, I couldn’t love him more. Plus, Sarah offering him a hug is the best she has been since the Varner–Zeke scandal.

Before I even had a chance to wipe away my tears Jeffrey joined the tribes on the marooning island to announce the tribe swap. Much to Rob’s chagrin, since it led to his first loss in Marquesas. As everyone revealed their new buffs, Rob found himself starting over again on the new Yara tribe, with Ben, Adam, Sarah and Sophie. Much to Adam’s fear, given his fellow former Sele peeps don’t get along. They were facing off against Dakal, featuring Mum and Dad, Kim, Denise and Jeremy – ripe for Advantageddon 2.0 – and Sele, home to Nick, his crush Parvati, Yul and exes Michele and Wendell.

We returned to Dakal where Jeremy and Denise were shocked by how great their new shelter was, thrilled to be moving on up in the world. Jeremy was also thrilled to discover that Kim was on the outs on her former tribe and as such, his minority position may be no more, given she seems down to flip on Tony and Sandra ASAP. Which is a sentiment she echoed to Denise. Meanwhile Tony and Sandra were talking about the importance of sticking together as two of the biggest targets, agreeing that Kim is a great target and as such, they all need to stick together. Because, and to quote Tony, the lions need to work together so the hyenas don’t win. Oh and then to solidify her new, glorious position, Kim caught an eel the size of an anaconda and just like that she is sitting pretty.

Over at Love Island, aka Sele 2.0, Nick was thrilled to be in the majority of his new tribe and most importantly, living with his high school crush. Meanwhile Wendell was not so thrilled, given the fact that the shelter is absolute dog shit and he is pretty much starting over from scratch. And more importantly, he is stuck with someone he dated or hung with, depending on whose story is to be believed. On the same tribe for the first time in 27 seasons, Parvati and Yul reconnected, with the latter telling Parv that she is his wife’s favourite player of all time. Continuing the love for Parv, Nick pulled her aside and admitted to his crush for her. And between that and the tension between Michele and Wendell, she was laughing it up like she, Cirie, Amanda and Natalie had just convinced Erik to give up immunity.

The former couple caught up and honestly, Michele just showed how much of an icon she is – she gave him a wink and asked if it would be awkward for him, leading to him stammering around his response while she giggled away. She then caught up with Parvati and the two trash talked the boys – ‘New season, who dis?’ – before joking about giving the boys something to drool over and going for a swim. And oh God, can they be the final two?!

Meanwhile over at the newly formed Yara tribe, Ben was annoyed to be stuck with Rob and Adam, the two people he trusted least on Sele as they both actively worked to blow up his game. Sarah on the other hand quickly worked to do damage control with Rob, identifying Tyson as the reason Amber was voted out and assuring him that that was why he was voted out the night before. To defend Amber’s honour. The five went wandering around to explore their new island before talk turned to how in the hell Ethan got voted out. The boys then freely gave up the fact that they don’t really get along and as such, Sarah and Sophie got to work seeing who would be willing to work with them. And after quickly learning that all three were open, they were thrilled to discover they could choose who to form that majority with. Which made Sophie nervous, given surely the boys would figure out their best hope is together, no? 

With that, the tribe split up to hunt for the new tribe’s idol with Rob sharing how difficult hidden immunity idols were for him to grasp. While he found one on Redemption Island, he had clues and as such, wasn’t confident in his abilities to find one without one. While he was echoing Amber’s struggles in the first episode, Sophie snatched the idol and even survived a joking ‘empty your pockets’ from Ben before she learnt that she too had to give up half to someone by sundown. As such she found Sarah, filled her in and handed over the half, hopeful that it would come back to her like how she returned Kim’s half to her. And just like that, the girls had two advantages and a fractured trio to save them from their shitty hand.

Jiffy Pop returned for the first three-way immunity challenge where the tribes would have to race through a series of obstacles, toss their sacks at a rod to knock off blocks and then use said coloured blocks to solve a puzzle. All three tribes were neck and neck through the first obstacles, however by the second, Yara started to pull away with Sele firmly in second while Dakal struggled to climb a ladder. What a fall from grace for ladder king, Tony! Yara made quick work of the blocks, giving them a huge lead on the puzzle while the other teams played for second. Sele were next to knock off their blocks as they closed the gap with Yara. Eventually Dakal joined the tribes in solving the puzzle, just as Sele secured the first immunity. With that Dakal battled with Yara, until Yara took their puzzle apart to start again, giving Jeremy and Sandra time to secure the other immunity for Dakal.

Back at camp Sophie felt nervous, given she blew the challenge for the tribe. She and Sarah were left alone at camp as the boys went for a walk. This left them time to lock in their vote for one of the boys. Just as the boys were all agreeing not to vote for one another. As they locked in their vote for Sarah, Rob suggested that back at camp, they refuse to go for a walk so that the girls have nobody to scramble with. Aka the buddy system, the most boring gameplay to watch. This drove the girls – and Adam – absolutely mental, stewing with rage as the boys hung out together. Wait, no, everyone sat in miserable silence, with Rob seemingly unaware how annoyed people were by his decree. Eventually Sophie and Sarah went for a walk to the well, just to alleviate their boredom and dream about blindsiding Rob, with only winks and nods from the boys as reassurance.

At tribal council Sophie spoke about the differences between her two seasons, thankful that this time there are so many intermixed relationships that there is always hope. Adam praised how good at the game the tribe are, which Ben agreed with, though kind of playing it down as they all simply know not to piss anyone off. Sarah spoke about how little the boys were interacting with her at camp today, which Sophie agreed with before insinuating that it was a decree from whoever was in charge. She then continued to play the situation perfectly, cussing out Jeff for using the term ‘crack’ as she and Sarah aren’t invaders out to destroy something, but two people looking to start an alliance with like minded individuals. Sarah jumped on board to plead with the boys and you could honestly see the moment Rob started to shit his pants, despite trying to look calm.

He tried to appeal to the boys, agreeing that while the boys aren’t close and have all done something to the other, he reminded them that at the end of the day, numbers matter. Ben agreed that it seemed like things were simple with two easy votes before sharing how lazy their afternoon was. Rob again tried to play down the fact he forced them into not talking, before Sophie owned him and pointed out how Rob is doing the exact thing he did in the season that he won and if they don’t do something about it, he will win again. With that the tribe voted and despite having zero time to strategise, Adam and Ben did indeed flip on Rob, joining the girls to send him from the game.

As Rob ventured out of tribal council I pulled him in for a massive hug before biting my tongue failed me, and I cussed him out for treating other winners like the cast of Redemption Island. Because they are all too good to tolerate that. He agreed it was a rookie mistake, but was grateful to be reunited with Amber on the Edge and bide his time until he can return and dominate. And while I didn’t have the heart to tell him that Natalie is the favourite to return as the wealthiest woman in the game, I instead handed him a bowl of Rob Mariagnocchi and wished him all the best.

While this is a super simple recipe, it proves that simple is often best. The rich butter is taken to the edge of nuttiness, while the smooth sage and sharp parmesan come together to create something so delicious it is almost life affirming.

Enjoy!

Rob Mariagnocchi
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
1 batch of the gnocchi from Gnokylie Evans or 500g pre-made gnocchi
⅓ cup butter
12-18 sage leaves
4 garlic cloves, minced
salt and pepper, to taste
1 lemon, zested and juiced
½ cup parmesan, shaved

Method
Start by prepping your gnocchi per Kylie’s recipe, or cook it per packet instructions.

When the gnocchi is close to done, melt the butter in a large skillet over medium heat and once it has melted, cook for a couple of minutes, to lightly brown and bring out the nuttiness. Once it is there, add in the sage and cook for a couple of minutes to crisp, before finally tossing through the garlic for a minute to make it nice and fragrant. Add the gnocchi with a good whack of salt and pepper, and toss to combine.

Remove from heat and add in the lemon zest and a few teaspoons of juice, and stir through the parmesan. Then serve immediately and devour.


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