Sandwich

Buffalaura Cheeseburgarras

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Burgers, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap


Previously on Australian Survivor we were reminded of a series of alliances and the varying ways they failed, which is the reason the tribe is now made up of only duos. Oh and zaddy Paulie, who is so glorious, that he doesn’t need to be elevated by anyone else. As such, he was the obvious target after losing immunity. Thankfully Myles and Laura were more interested in splitting up a duo, specifically PD and Kristin, to free the latter up to work with them. Unfortunately, Logan – who always said Zara was bossy – threw a tantrum about never getting her way if they don’t take out Paulie. The tantrum spooked Laura, who fell back in line with the Paulie plan leaving Myles to steal Kristin’s idol, play it for Paulie and send PD home with just his and AJ’s votes.

We followed the tribe back to camp where things were spicy as Logan told Myles to stop trying to talk to her. She complained to all the women that her plans kept getting squashed and while they nodded, their faces all screamed, move on babes. Laura caught up with Myles, living for what he did but also frustrated to see him make himself the enemy once again. AJ meanwhile was trying to connect with the women, though the fact that Kristin asked him not to touch her, it doesn’t look good for him either. Myles explained to Laura that he was sick of everyone fiddling around and looking for excuses to not make a move, as she pointed out she just didn’t want to come back to camp and deal with Logan’s wrath, otherwise she is all good. Which AJ was in the middle of dealing with, as she berated him for breaking her trust – and their alliance – yet again.

Myles then joined the fray as AJ went to sulk, with him explaining to Logan that they never even had any trust, so he didn’t betray her. And Laura is smart and rational, and will move on from his betrayal. This obviously didn’t sit well with Logan, as she questioned whether she was dumb and irrational, with him calmly pointing out that Laura’s intelligence is why she will move on from betrayal but as they didn’t have trust, he doesn’t need her to use hers to move on. With Logan going full teen movie villain and telling him he will never have the chance to work with her, which is honestly just a lol. Myles and AJ removed themselves to gloat about their improved place before Myles looped AJ in on his other idol, assuring him that even if the tribe hates them, they have tricks. While back at the shelter, Logan continued to monologue to anyone that would listen that she will be getting one of AJ or Myles out next.

Meaning both of them are safe, no? Because this is not a good episode for Logan’s edit.

The next day things were fractionally less intense as Paulie continued to marvel about still being in the game against all odds. He was dancing with Morgan, pledging allegiance to Myles and ugh, I love to see our zaddy so happy after his power bottoming. On the flipside, Logan was still cranky, as Laura and Zara spoke about their fears about giving too much power to Myles. Speaking of Myles, while Paulie was busy pledging his undying loyalty, Myles admitted to us that he doesn’t see Paulie in his long term plans, though he will use him to get through the battle ahead. Which seems to firmly be with Laura and Logan, who are ready to take things to the next level and bring down the boys. 

Myles and Kaelan – the latter I believe now rocking Max’s speedo – went hunting for the rehidden idol, before they caught up with AJ to float the idea of reuniting with the Graduates to protect themselves from a potential women’s alliance. And while they were confident that Zara would be onboard, AJ was worried Karin feels too betrayed by him for it to work. Right on cue, Zara appeared with them calmly explaining that given nobody knows they are aligned, it is the perfect plan to pick off the pairs until the Graduates have the majority. And while the four of them agreed to take out Logan next, Zara was concerned about getting Karin onboard with that specific plan. As such, AJ pulled Karin aside to try and clear the air given she has been ignoring him since his idol play. Thankfully they were able to come to an agreement to stick together, though she flagged that she was now concerned about Myles because she can’t trust that he will do what is best for the alliance after his little move.

Oh and while she agreed to work together, trust and believe, she is ready to make a move and get rid of one of the power players in AJ or Myles.

JLP returned for the reward challenge where they would split into two teams and then duos would face off to race and collect a ball in the water and score a goal in a basket. First team to four scouring a feast of burgers, wings, milkshakes and all the good stuff. Given they were essentially shoved into tribes just after merging, I will keep things brief. AJ and Kate scored the first point for the blue team, despite Kaelan being a sweetheart coaching Logan through how to leg it through the water. Morgan and Zara tied things up for red, Paulie and Myles scored their second point, and AJ and Kate got their third before Paulie and Myles secured victory for the blue team.

Myles, AJ, Paulie, Karin, Kate and Kristin ventured into the jungle to enjoy their feast and honestly, it was an absolute slay. They smashed their shakes and devoured all of the food, before AJ floated discussing what to do at the next tribal council. Which Myles shut down, given he didn’t want all their plans to leak given they’re all in different alliances. Though he happily pointed out he doesn’t want Logan to win immunity, given it is clear they won’t work together. AJ joked that Kristin is looking for revenge against him after the last tribal council, rather than Myles. Not wanting to move on, however, Myles decided to let everyone know that Logan has an idol, which gagged they all, as he suggested it would be really good to get rid of her with an idol in her pocket.

Kate wondered if the losers would be having strat chats back at camp, so we quickly pivoted there to check. We found Logan once again complaining about constantly being on the losing side of things, be it votes or challenges. Though she did admit this time wasn’t the worst, as with Myles and AJ gone, she could float getting rid of Myles with the rest of the girls. Like the gGraduates, Morgan was keen to break up a duo, specifically Myles and AJ. Sadly for Morgan, Zara took the plan straight back to Kaelan to assure him that the Graduates are still on, no matter what he hears. As Laura watched on, concerned about what Zara could potentially be doing.

The tribe came together with JLP for the latest immunity challenge where they would each hold onto a grate under water as the tide rises, with the last person in the water winning immunity. Myles was singing and chatting through the earliest stages of the challenge, though quietened down as the water started covering his face. At the 45 minute mark Kate became the first person out of the challenge. She was soon followed by Laura and AJ before Myles kicked off the narration again. At the hour mark Paulie dropped, before a massive surge led to Morgan, Kristin, Logan and Zara dropping in quick succession, before Myles finally dropped after being underwater for what felt like an eternity. Karin and Kaelan continued to fight until Karin ran out of breath after 75 minutes, handing Kaelan his second individual immunity.

Back at camp Logan was hyper focussed on making AJ the first member of the jury, while Myles was just grateful that Kaelan had immunity as it kept it out of Logan and Laura’s hands. Myles pulled AJ and Paulie aside to lock in their plan to split the vote between the girls, with Logan the main target and Laura as back-up. With everyone onboard, they agreed to tell the girls that Kristin was their target and split up to loop in everyone else. Logan meanwhile, was equally as confident in her plan to split up Myles and AJ. She caught up with the rest of the former coven to lock in their split, with Laura and Logan grateful to be able to trust them 100%. They then looped in Morgan, Kate and Kristin, and just like that, both plans were feeling confident. Meaning someone is in for a big shock in about half an hour.

Kate and Morgan caught up, realising that they are the ones that are really in charge of who goes home based on which side they’re with. They looped in Kristin, and while they wanted Logan gone for being too dramatic, Kristin was hyper fixated on getting revenge on AJ. Right on cue, he approached the girls and quickly let Kristin know that another plan was in the works, making things super awkward. After everyone split up, Kate pulled AJ aside to let him know that she was trying to keep things quiet in front of Kristin given she is gunning for him, but assured him that she and Morgan are 100% voting with him and Myles tonight. And while it was reassuring, the Kristin confusion made AJ super nervous, as numbers clearly weren’t as locked as he thought. AJ pulled Myles aside to let him know about the rival plan, with the latter trying to reiterate that they just need to keep calm as their plan makes the most sense for everyone involved and Kristin is the only one interested in working with Logan and Laura.

Particularly since Karin can’t make a move with her one vote, right?

Wrong. Karin pulled Kristin aside to float the idea of voting with the boys, but scaring Logan into playing her idol tonight and get rid of AJ instead. The plan was for them, Logan and Laura to load their votes on AJ and tell Logan that she needs to play her idol if she wants to have any hope of surviving. The only fear Karin had with following through on this plan, however, was Zara and how she would react to her turning on the Graduates.

Laura meanwhile was starting to worry it was all too calm, so she pulled Myles aside to see where his head was at. She told him that everyone was annoyed after tribal council, before she reiterated that she can’t protect both him and AJ, so she is choosing to protect him. Sadly unaware that his plan is to ruin her game. The women all continued to catch up with Logan and Laura assuring them to stick with the plan, while Logan was just excited to get rid of AJ. Logan and AJ then caught up, hilariously lying about both of them only hearing about the Kristin plan, though they told their closest allies that they knew each other were clearly lying. While Karin was just loving the fact that she held all the power of who goes home.

At tribal council Myles was serving looks wearing his buff as a bra, though he assured JLP it was nothing compared to the drama he caused back at camp after the last tribal council. And now he has to figure out whether it would lead to more big moves, or lead to his demise. AJ admitted that he copped some guilt by association, as Logan stared blankly in the fire. Laura delivered a gorgeous quote reminding Myles that the toes he steps on today are attached to the arses he may need to kiss the next day and honestly, Shakespeare wishes. Myles stood by his decision and told everyone to stop playing the game like they were scared and to make a damn move and draw some lines in the sand. Morgan agreed that they needed to make a move, but she was also sick of dealing with post-tribal tantrums whenever a move was made. Kate felt like everyone was a little bit more paranoid, with everyone agreeing that everyone is fair game. While AJ was sure that someone would be surprised tonight.

Logan looked nervous before Karin even whispered to her to play her idol, which gagged both her and Laura, who were completely unaware they were in danger. Zara was silenced as we focused on the drama, before Laura joined the group’s discussions to talk about wisely choosing the first juror, given they set the tone of how the game plays out. Logan agreed she is scared about people holding grudges and poisoning the jury against her if she blindsides them, while Kate suggested they all need to grow up and accept it is a game and to not get butthurt. Unlike say, Logan. Laura meanwhile was whispering to Morgan and Kate to see who they are voting for, while Karin said it was hard to figure out whether people would be blindsided. While Zara was just looking forward to continuing Myles’ work and breaking up another duo.

With that the tribe voted – Myles serving absolute C.U.N.T – and Logan heeded Karin’s warning, playing her idol for herself. Sadly for her, it didn’t result in AJ leading the jury, and instead her bestie Laura was sent out of the game to become the Queen of the Jury. And TBH, after welcoming her to the Jury Villa with a massive hug, they made the right call. While she was disappointed to be out of the game, she also respected it and vowed to enjoy her time on the jury and make sure everyone rewards big, exciting gameplan. Which is exactly what I needed to hear before serving up what I deem to be the recipe of the season in the form of my Buffalaura Cheeseburgarras.

Step aside Malcolm Freburger – aka In’n’Out Animal Style Double Double – this is my new favourite burger in rotation. Super cheesy and gooey, it is the truffle buffalo which elevates it from decent burger to god-tier. Run, don’t walk.

Enjoy!

Buffalaura Cheeseburgarras
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
500g beef mince
salt and pepper, to taste
4 slices jack cheese
4 slices burger cheese
2 Briocher Bünsberg
½ cup ricotta
2-4 tbsp truffle buffalo sauce
2 pickles, sliced

Method
Gently scrunch the mince in a bowl and form into four pucks, leaving loose so there are still strands of mince. Pop a large skillet over high heat, add the meat, flattening with a spatula until about 1cm thick. Season with salt and pepper, and cook for a few minutes before flipping and topping with a slice of jack cheese and then the burger cheese, and cook for a further couple of minutes or until cooked through.

Slice the buns and toast the centres until golden. Smear the top of the burger with the ricotta, and drizzle the truffle buffalo sauce on the bottom. Pop the sliced pickled on the base, followed by the cheesy patties and closing. Before devouring alongside some fries or gems, with the best colour aura known to man.


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Kimjesse Egg Sandoonan

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Breakfast, Main, Sandwich, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor sweet, gentle Kaelan continued to flex his muscle, as PD became his second victim at the reward challenge. Thankfully for his guilt, however, a torn bicep did not cost PD his place in the game. Though it did seem he would be sitting out of all the remaining challenges. Oh and Laura and Zara appeared to end their feud at the reward too! The Brain girlies were sick of Jesse and Ben’s bossiness, so planned to take them out. Sadly for them, I guess, they won immunity, sending Brawn back to tribal council. It was absolute chaos back at camp as while everyone seemed united against Paulie, they were all trying to use that to blindside AJ. Logan was gunning for him, as was Karin,, despite Zara trying to keep her calm. Luckily for them, they were all gagged when they arrived at tribal council to learn that Ben had quit off screen with zero context, saving them all.

We started the episode with an appearance from Jonathan – which always precedes something major – as the tribes were brought together for an epic challenge. As individuals, because they officially merged. Which was obvious based off the challenge structure alone, but I’ve digressed. Logan and Laura were giddy to be reunited, Kate was congratulating everyone while Paulie and Myles were thrilled to finally be on the same beach to serve twink and twunk. Logan told Laura about her idol as they hugged while Paulie felt like he was finally going to rise from the ashes. AJ, meanwhile, was ready to jag the world series poker championship that is Survivor. Seemingly unaware that, to reiterate, professional poker players traditionally don’t fare well in Survivor.

Rather than being sent back to camp, JLP actually put the newly formed tribe through their paces in the first individual reward challenge where they simply had to sloth on a rope the longest. With the victor scoring themselves a merge cocktail party with the guests of their choice. Kaelan’s second victim took his place on the sitout bench, before he was quickly joined by Laura, AJ, Karin and Jesse within the five minutes. Kaelan soon followed – this time without causing injury to anyone – followed by Kristin as Laura and Karin gossiped about who they could and couldn’t trust from OG Brawn. AJ meanwhile spoke to Kate to distract her from the pain of the challenge, while Karin read him for being super robotic and awkward. Myles was next to drop, followed by Morgan, leaving Laura, Zara, Kate and Paulie to fight it out. Despite the latter wriggling the entire time. Paulie eventually dropped, before Zara kicked off negotiations with the ladies to put an end to the challenge. With Logan and Zara dropping the instant Kate agreed to take them on the reward.

JLP pulled Kate aside to make her selections, sticking with the deal before she was given three more spots, opting for Morgan, Paulie and AJ. Thanks to his robotic chattiness. JLP then gave her one more ticket, with her selecting Kristin, which appeared to annoy Karin, despite the fact they hadn’t ever been on the same tribe. We followed the victors to their cocktail party where they smashed the snacks and grabbed their first drink. Right within sight of the merge camp, meaning the losers sat and bonded over their rage. Kate got to work bonding with the Brains she hadn’t met, hoping her time on reward would help get her out of the minority. She caught up with Logan and Kristin, with Logan telling them about the rival girls alliance and how they could now join together to take control. Karin meanwhile was heckling from the fire, frustrated to be slumming it with par-cooked beans, before chatting with Jesse about how chaotic AJ is. 

Eventually the two groups joined together with Logan thrilled to have Laura back, and now, was hoping to use their combined numbers to take control and stop voting how other people want. They caught up, with Logan awkwardly sending Kaelan away when they were talking. Zara was allowed to join, however, with Logan telling her that she doesn’t want to get AJ out yet, but when she does say she needs him gone, Zara needs to get on board or they are over. Zara then confronted Laura to make sure they cleared whatever air needed to be clear after non-advantagegate, with her explaining she didn’t try and steal it, but was actually trying to help Laura. While Logan watched on, telling us that Zara is quite challenging to deal with and as such, she is still on her hit list as soon as AJ is gone.

The next day the tribe bonded as they watched the sun rise before PD shared that before the game started, he asked a man what the Samoan word for stronger together is – and just like that, the Malosi tribe was formed. With that out of the way, everyone split up to continue the get to know you game. Well except for Paulie, who was fixated on reconnecting with the former Brawn to try and find some form of alliance, entrancing Jesse with a monologue about his strength. Paulie admitted that he was super nervous about AJ, though, given he was schmoozing his way around camp to rally the troops. Not to be outdone, Paulie caught up with Myles to find out why he has struggled to find allies with the icons talking about being chaotic to save themselves while in the minority and that also burns some bridges.  And ugh, please align, my queer kings. I need it. I mean, Myles told Paulie he would flourish as a bottom any day of the week.

Need. It.

The Graduates caught up under the cover of darkness later that night, with AJ in particular, thrilled to have his closest ally back by his side in the form of Myles. Both of them gloated about having all the information in the merged tribe, and while Myles was also nervous about Logan, he still wanted Jesse out first. I assume to reward the audience by having none of the idiots remain after merge.

No offense, Jesse. But you and Ben had some bad strategies. Really bad.

The next day the tribe reconnected with Jonathan for the first individual immunity challenge where they would have to balance on a seesaw, while maintaining three balls on individual tracks, with the last person standing taking out the win. PD obviously sat out immediately as everyone struggled to get their balance, so you assume one of our pilates girlies will take it, in the form of Zara and Logan, right? Laura was first out after touching her ball to readjust, quickly followed by Zara, immediately making me look as dumb as one of Ben’s strategies. And wrong. AJ soon followed, as did Kristin, Morgan, Karin, Kate and Kaelan. Everyone else lasted long enough to add their second ball, which immediately cost Paulie. After fifteen minutes, Myles dropped leaving Jesse and Logan to battle as they added their third balls. Despite some very near misses Logan continued to hold on until 20 minutes before Jesse wobbled out of nowhere, dropping and handing Logan victory.

And proving me right. Kind of.

Back at camp Logan rightfully thanked pilates for her win before gloating about not having to pack anything for tribal council. And the fact she has double protection with her hidden immunity idol, means she is ready to go on the attack. Jesse meanwhile was begging Morgan and Kristin to stick Brawn strong, with his goal to get rid of Zara. He went person to person to pull everyone in, hoping Myles would join them to take control. Logan caught up with Jesse and Paulie to float the plan to get rid of Zara, with her assuring Jesse that she is very keen to jump on board after what she did to Laura. Thankfully she knew that getting rid of Zara would upset Karin and ruin her majority, so she told us she was more likely to take out Jesse instead as it would actually not ruffle any feathers. 

Kate and Morgan were even more excited by the thought of getting rid of Jesse and taking control with the women. Though Kate was concerned about not having enough numbers and as such, she decided she needed to loop in AJ, so that she could get rid of Jesse tonight, so he doesn’t have the chance to find out about it. And surely it is a good move for AJ too, right? Womp womp, AJ was still fixated on zaddy Paulie and ugh, just stop. We need him to serve looks on the jury. Sexy, slutty looks.

Since AJ seems intent on ruining my life, he pulled the OG Brains aside to question why they aren’t splitting the vote, with them reluctantly agreeing to splitingt on Paulie. Paulie caught up with AJ to tell him that both of them need to lay low, and ugh, Paulie don’t try to help him. AJ quickly looped in PD about this new plan, saying that Paulie was the ultimate target, with PD okay, as long as Kristin was onboard. Wisely PD caught up with Kristin who warned him not to trust AJ, though agreed that Paulie also couldn’t be trusted and as such, neither of them really cared about who went home. Jesse and Paulie caught up in the ocean, hoping that their Brawn and Myles plan would come together to get rid of Zara. Making Paulie feel galvanised, confident and ready to take control. While Jessse was just thrilled to get revenge on Zara for what she did to Laura, seemingly unaware that he is the Brains real target.

As someone whacked Paulie in the face with a torch on the slow-mo walk to tribal council.

Paulie arrived at tribal council with a giant bandage on his head thanks to the aforementioned injury, courtesy of Laura rather than Kaelan, the resident brute. Zara spoke about how the merge felt like they’ve just started a second marathon, while AJ was just vibing, thrilled to have made a bunch of new friends and have new options. Kate agreed that being an open book is the only way to be, coming into merge, with AJ talking about how much he loves looking into fresh eyes. Specifically Kate’s baby blues, I presume. Logan meanwhile reiterated she is here to play the game and not just make friends, while Krsitin felt that the old tribes are dead and merge, truly, is a mixed bag. Zara meanwhile was grateful to have previously been on a tribe with every single person, hoping it would prove helpful in the long run. Which Jesse suggested made you a threat.

Paulie spoke about needing to switch things up post-merge, as predictability will get you voted out. While Myles diplomatically said he would be voting with the people that kept himself safe pre-merge. Not to be outdone, Jesse said his trust is through the richter scale. While Logan joked she would be voting for vengeance, before admitting she was just motivated by boring old solidifying alliances for the weeks ahead. With that the tribe voted, everyone held onto their idols before Jesse was gagged to find himself booted from the gang. Almost as gagged as Paulie, who copped five votes in the process.

As soon as Jesse arrived at Loser Lodge, I begged him to tell me why Ben quit, but sadly he gave me nothing. Which is kind of fitting, given that is what the editors gave the duo on the show. While we didn’t see much of Jesse on the show, he seemed like a really chill guy and well, sometimes, that is enough. That and a big old Kimjesse Egg Sandoonan.

While yes, this season has kind of been all about the sando – here’s to you, Zen and Nash – when they’re all unique, and all this good. It is hard to be angry. The kimchi and umami eggs work perfectly with the egg to give you a wholly satisfying meal.

Enjoy!

Kimjesse Egg Sandoonan
Serves: 1

Ingredients
1 tbsp unsalted butter
1 Beygel Knowles
2 tbsp kimchi, chopped
1 egg
½ tsp tamari
2 slices burger cheese

Method
Pop the butter in a skillet over medium-low heat until melted, and pop the bagel in a toaster.

When the butter is nice and foamy, add the kimchi to the skillet and cook for a couple of minutes, or until warm and the butter is rich and red. Whisk the egg and tamari together, before adding to the skillet, stirring until it is almost set. Using a spatula, shape into a sandwich sized portion and top with the cheese, cooking for a minute or two, or until it is melted.

Add the portion to the toasted bagel and devour, greedily, before the cheese drips onto the plate.


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Nash Brown Sando

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Breakfast, Main, Sandwich, Street Food, TV, TV Recap


Previously on Australian Survivor two new tribes of Brains and Brawns were dropped in the islands of Samoa to be put to the ultimate test. This time, starting the game with a roaring fire each, though no flint. And given that was being highlighted in the episode 4 recap, one of them is going out tonight, right? After losing the first immunity challenge, the Brawns bounced back and won two in a row. Sadly for them, they did have a loss as Zen went out after breaking a finger in a challenge. Nash found an idol in the opening minutes, though given how badly he flopped the game, he immediately had to play it to stay alive. After winning the reward, Paulie found the newly hidden one – thank f – and tried to keep it secret from his ally Noonan. Over at Brains, after losing the third immunity AJ tried to take out Logan while everyone was distracted by the Kent and Myles feud. Despite his best attempts, his plan failed though was successful in making her well and truly pissed, despite Kent going home.

We checked in with Zaddy Paulie and the Brawn tribe, where Noonan was desperately trying to help Paulie find the idol, unaware that my king already had it stuffed down his pants. And while he felt bad to have kept the information from her, he didn’t feel bad enough to tell her. Being an icon, he then began to speculate that Nash had found it before he got the chance. He shouldn’t feel too bad though, as she assured us that if she got to the idol first, there is no way in hell she would tell Paulie about it. Which is just bad allyship, right? I mean, on mardi gras week?!

Over at the Brains everyone was thrilled to be Kent free, watching the planes fly overheard, grateful that he is likely on one of them, departing the island. Sadly for them, with Kent not around to tend the fire at night, theirs went out – as predicted – which left them all tired and starving. Instead of dwelling on that, Logan turned her attention towards the firing rage within, which was a plan to get revenge on AJ for trying to get rid of her. Because cute and fun people shouldn’t be punished for being cute and fun. Thankfully AJ is as smart as he is cute, realising he tanked his gang and as such, needed to make another move to save it. We then got a cute flashback of AJ catching up with Kaelan and Rich after tribal council, planting seeds that Logan and Laura were both coming for him. Rich started to absolutely spiral and as such, he decided he needed to get rid of Logan ASAP.

Back at Brawn the tribe made a clock out of Zen’s old shoes while Nash completely failed at the basic task of sitting (let’s not talk about it being in a hammock, which is tough). Despite losing his ally Zen, he was confident the rest of his alliance – Ursula, PD and Kristin – were still loyal, so he just needed to bamboozle one more person. After seeing Jesse was regalling the tribe with a tribute rap to Zen, and clearly loving his energy, he realised he had to go a different route. Specifically, emotional blackmail. He broke down by the shore, leading to sweet, sexy Paulie coming down to comfort him and hot damn, Paulie. Could you please stop? My basement is flooded.

My love JLP returned for the reward challenge where everyone would be paired up to balance on narrow pegs which got progressively narrower over time. With the tribe to have the last pair standing winning a good, old-fashioned sausage sizzle. Or as I prefer to call it, a sausage fest. That being said these challenges are never that fun to recap, so let’s just go through everyone that dropped. Nash, obviously, was first to go after 30 seconds, taking Noonan with him. Ben and PD joined them on the Brawn bench before everyone else moved to narrower pegs at the ten minute mark. That cost Rich and AJ their place, as the rest of the Brains told them to get intel on the bench. Kaelan and Max dropped, followed by Laura and Karin, giving Brawn the upper hand. At 20 minutes, Ally and Myles exited, leaving Logan and Zara to carry the hopes of the tribe on their shoulders as they moved to the narrowest pegs. Ursula dropped out of nowhere, followed by Paulie and Jesse leaving the icons to battle the equally iconic Kate and Morgan at Brawn. Who eventually gave up, giving Logan and Zara the hero moment they deserve.

Knowing they were desperate, JLP decided to get spicy and give them a choice – either take the sausage sizzle, or take a flint to restart their fire and give the sausage sizzle to their rivals. Feeding them and potentially pushing them to victory at the next immunity challenge. Ally advocated for them to play it smart and take the flint so they have consistent food for the weeks ahead. Rich, however, cut her off and said he was hungry and wanted a snag, putting it to a vote instead. Which promptly went in the favour of the food.

We followed the Brains back to camp where they were delighted to find a barbecue set up by the shore. Much to Ally’s rage, who still felt they should have taken the flint and struggles to keep her opinions to herself. Ignoring the fact they could have lit a napkin on fire on the barbecue to restart theirs, but whatever (I know production probably banned it). As everyone sat down to smash their feast, Rich realised that the boys and girls were clearly divided and as such, he wanted to formalise something with the rest of the boys. Rich told everyone that Logan is after him and as such, the boys all need to stick together to protect all of their games. When it really feels more like a him problem. Max, Kalaen and Rich pushed really hard for Myles and AJ to join them despite clearly being on the bottom, before christening their alliance with a name – the Bomb Squad.

That night we checked in with the Brawns, where the tribe delighted in having a fire and laughing about the misfortune of their rivals. Nash meanwhile was bored, given nobody was playing the game as hard as him. Apparently. He then shared with us that he had actually thrown the first immunity challenge, which TBH, makes a lot more sense given nobody can be that stupid. He wanted to build trust, however, so decided now was the right time to lock in with his allies, so told PD, Kristin and Ursula the truth. Much to the absolute rage of PD, who wasn’t sure whether Nash was just dumb and trying to save face. But either way, if this gets out to anyone else, Nash, you in danger, girl. Particularly since Ursula was close to becoming his collateral damage already.

We arrived at the next immunity challenge where the tribes competed in some ball sports, another favourite activity of mine. In groups, two members of each tribe would face off to collect a ball before passing it to someone on a platform, who would kick it at the goal which was guarded by another person.

First up, Ben, Jesse, Nash and PD faced off against Myles, Kaelan, Nash and Logan. And while Brawn collected the ball first, PD kicked it at the wrong goal, which allowed the Brains to pass it over to Myles. And despite his own tribe thinking he was a bad choice for the kicker, he promptly scored the first point. Morgan, Ursula, Noonan and Paulie faced off against Rich, Zara, Karin and Ally, with Noonan tying things up on her second kick. We got a rematch of the first round, with Rich trading places with Logan, with Myles proving himself a beast, as her quickly scored his second point of the challenge. Like the pole dancer king that he is. Myles and Rich stayed in their places as Laura and Karin faced off against Morgan and Ursula in the field, with Myles literally securing his hat trick and pushing the Brains further in front. In the fifth round, the Brains left Myles where he was which proved sensible as he kicked his fourth goal and handed Brains immunity.

Again, icon.

Back at camp Brawn lamented their loss, while Noonan led everyone in praising Myles as a star athlete. She then swiftly turned her attention towards getting rid of her nemesis Nash, pulling aside Morgan and Kate to make sure they weren’t still locked in with Nash after turning on Candy at the first tribal council. As the girls and Paulie locked in their plans, Ursula realised that being aligned with Nash was a bad idea and as such, she joined them to assure them she is open to anything. This pissed off Morgan, calling her out for only coming to them when she is in trouble, which is fair, while Paulie tried to calm them all down. Realising she needed to do something major, she told them that Nash threw the first challenge, reminding them that she clocked it from the start and they need him out ASAP. Which was all it took to assure them she was in with them. Nervous about him pulling off another miracle, Noonan didn’t want to split the vote, telling Paulie to go get his idol to keep them all safe.

To his credit, Nash wasn’t overly worried about going home, assuming he and his allies would be able to pull off another miracle. He approached Jesse and Ben to try and convince them that without Zen, he has no buddies left in the game and as such, wants to align with some fun friends. Like, say, them. He then took Jesse to talk to Ursula and Kristin, with Ursula slipping and telling Jesse that Nash threw the challenge. To distract, Nash then decided to target Morgan, for reasons, pulling Paulie aside and praying for a miracle.

After praying by the ocean, Nash got to work idol hunting and fuck me dead, he found another one. Or at least pretended that he did. He read a note and ran away from Paulie, who asked him to show him the idol. Nash told him there was no need to, as he’ll see it later that night. And while nobody wanted to believe he had found another one, they were also terrified about not splitting the vote and as such locked in another couple of votes on Ursula. Everyone then got to work tailing Nash for the rest of the afternoon, while he locked in his alliance with Kristin before trying to convince Paulie or Noonan to join him instead and flip on Morgan. Though given his pitch was that he was playing the best social game and that they needed him if they’re going to survive the merge, me thinks it won’t work. Because if your social game was good, you wouldn’t have been a target from day one. He then took that pitch to Jesse, telling him he can’t confirm whether he has an idol as they aren’t connected. But if he votes out Morgan with him, he will take him to the end. Which, to reiterate, is never happening as Nash will not last the week without a string of increasingly wild miracles.

At tribal council Noonan spoke about how the short break from tribal council had helped them come together, with Paulie agreeing that they have all come together and become a family. Ursula meanwhile realised she was well and truly on the bottom, all because she was aligned with Nash. Though she did caution everyone that anything can happen at tribal council. PD agreed that being aligned with Nash isn’t helpful before Kate reiterated she doesn’t hate Nash, just doesn’t think he is playing the good, honest game he has told them he is playing. Given he threw the first challenge. Nash tried to explain it away as wanting to figure out who he could and couldn’t trust. Which annoyed the hell out of Noonan, who pointed out he put his alliance in danger in the process as Ursula almost went home. Kate and Morgan joined the fray, with the latter cussing him out for being a hypocrite because he would be irate if she threw sandbags at his head, rather than at the discs. Which fair. Violent, but fair. 

Noonan admitted she is now terrified of ever touching a puzzle, given he completely screwed her over by making her look like a flop. While he just thought they should all move on. Paulie felt Nash threw a challenge way too soon, while Nash tried to make a play for their hearts talking about how he loves them. Before doubling down on his potential idol, with Paulie just asking him to flop it out and show them what they’re working with. Or shut up. Ursula spoke about being nervous given the vote will be split between her and him, with Nash trying one last mind game, suggesting they load the votes on him and just see how things play out. While Jesse was nervous about Nash maybe, just maybe, actually having a trick up his sleeve. With that the tribe voted and despite Nash’s assurances that he had an idol, he didn’t – despite taking a theatrically timed sip of water to scare them. And thankfully, the Brawns stuck to their guns and finally sent him out the door.

By the time Nash arrived at Loser Lodge, I had softened slightly. Do I think he played a terrible game and shouldn’t have tried to copy his friend’s winning path last year? Yes. But the man also gave us some drama, and an iconic flameout is always a delicious thing to watch. As such, I pulled him in for a massive hug and after whispering to never copy the strategy of the winner everyone watched before departing – if we learnt anything from Abby in All Stars, it is that you target the same type of player – thanked him for giving us a show, however brief it ended up being. Before toasting his drama with a gloriously soothing Nash Brown Sando.

If there is one thing I’m going to do, it is find a way to sneak a potato into a meal it isn’t traditionally. And since I have a bit of a thing for a hashie-b, using it to form a breakfast sandwich was frankly a no-brainer.

Enjoy!

Nash Brown Sando
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
4 Slash Browns
4-6 bacon rashers
4 eggs
2 slices American cheese
¼ cup Hollandaise Taylor

Method
Cook the Slash Browns and Hollandaise Taylor per their respective recipes.

Fry up the bacon until nice and crisp, before transferring to a plate lined with a paper towel to drain. Crack the eggs into the fatty pan and fry to your liking.

To assemble, pop a hash brown on a plate followed by some bacon, an egg, the cheese, another egg and some bacon. Drizzle with the hollandaise, close the sando with a hashie and devour, like an icon.


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Chip and Chickzen Santon

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Lunch, Main, Sandwich, Snack, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor after starting the game strong, the Brawns took a backseat in the challenges before finally jagging a second win, this one for immunity, after Nash finally stopped trying to play the hero. With the Brains now forced to scramble, Kent got to targeting Myles in earnest, while the Coven hoped to take control and get rid of Rich instead. Indy, sadly, felt she was included in the alliance too late, so instead ran to Rich to let him know about the plan. Which led to even more, unnecessary chaos. At tribal council, Kent admitted to burning Max’s hat, before still trying to get rid of Myles, despite rendering his argument about Myles moot given he never burned the hat. Luckily for him, Indy misplayed it way worse and went from an easy vote with the girls to a quick ticket out of the game and back home.

We checked in with the Brawn tribe where Nash had decided he was wasting away despite it only being a week. Zen opened up about being angry about how much of a flop their meals had been. Meaning they’re totally winning a hearty meal at the next reward, right? Or is he busy coming for my gig with a rice and beans cookbook? 

Back with the Brains, Kent was busy barking orders and acting like he is in charge of the tribe, while the rest of them bitched and moaned – rightly – about how much they hated his attitude. Logan lamented how annoying it was to see Indy ruin their majority, so pulled the Coven aside to figure a way to claw it back and free themselves of Kent. Oh, we also learnt about her life as a WAG and yeah, I am stanning Shonee 2.0. Zara meanwhile brought up Rich as their backup option and while he also annoys me, Kent is the worst. And when Max joined them to specifically beg them to get rid of, and I quote Max here, the little hobbit man, it seemed like a done deal for Kent.

So what could fuck this up? AJ. AJ, who I was just about to say was oddly hot, until he suggested he needed to keep Kent safe and take advantage of the girls being in the minority for a round or two. He went man to man to point out that the girls have been talking a lot of strategy together and as such, they needed to focus on them first. And as a poker player, he would know, apparently. Despite poker players historically doing terribly at the game.

The tribes met up with JLP for the latest reward challenge where they would face off 1 on 1 by racing over a floating net to collect a flag from the rival platform before their opponent. And TBH, given the winners would get loaded fries, I would literally give up my first born. The first battle was between Ally and Ursula with the latter making quick work of getting the Brawns out in front. Ben versus Rich was as equally disappointing as Rich fell flat on his face, handing Brawns another win. Followed by PD quickly besting Max, before Kaelan finally gave Zen a run for his money before he too jagged the Brawns yet another point. Though not without a close up on his hand and crunching sound, which feels very ominous. Karin then fought valiantly to save it for the Brains, before Noonan proved too strong, powered through and scored reward for the team.

Back at camp the Brawns were overwhelmed by the sight of their individual bowls of hot chips along with a literal buffet of toppings for loading. After they loaded them sky high, they sat down to smash their food before Zaddy Paulie discovered a map painted on his napkin. After stuffing it into his crotch – oh to be a napkin – Noonan started hunting around the reward table to see if she could find a clue, knowing that there should be something hidden amongst it. Paulie meanwhile was excited to try and figure out a way to sneak off from camp without being noticed, given he doesn’t get to do anything sneaky in the real world as an ambo. Being a King, he suggested he needed to find some sun to hang his jumper, so wandered off by himself to see if he could jag it.

While he was camply wandering around to find the perfect patch of sun for his jungle washing line, he was rewarded for being focused on the game with a big, fat immunity idol. While while the rest of the tribe had a breath holding contest in the shallows. Except for Noonan, who quickly figured out that he had found a clue so sidled up to him to confirm it. And while he tried to lie, he quickly admitted that he found the clue, though not an idol. Meanwhile in the ocean, Zen realised his hand was now double its size after the challenge and began to worry that he did something to it.

We fast forwarded a day to reunite with JLP for the immunity challenge where both tribes were gagged to see Zen return from medical leave with a full plaster cast on his arm. This immediately upset Kaelan, who ran to hug him and apologise for hurting him. I was then completely shocked to learn that Zen was being pulled from the game and well, shit, I was just growing to unashamedly love him. Everyone started to cry, pulling him in for a hug and talking about how heartbroken they are to see him go. And the only thing as sad as watching him trying to hold it together while talking about being strong, was seeing how guilty Kaelan was feeling.

As he wandered away from the challenge and the game, I pulled him in for a hug and told him how heartbreaking it was to see him be medevaced. Though hopefully he will follow in the footsteps of Nina and come back triumphantly, rather than Ross and Jackie, who tragically never got their rudemption. Sorry, redemption. Thankfully, he has way more resilience than I do, happily smashing a Chip and Chickzen Santon and heading on his way.

So yeah, this is a pretty quick and dirty recipe, but we were surprised to see Zen go so soon. But just because something is super easy, doesn’t mean it isn’t delicious. I mean, fried chicken and crisps on a sando? Sign. Me. Up.

Enjoy!

Chip and Chickzen Santon
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
4 slices bread, ideally something soft
2 tbsp butter
6-8 Cydney Goujons
½ cup cheddar cheese, grated
1-2 cups Baga Chipz

Method
Now this one is difficult, so strap in. Butter the bread, top with chicken, a sprinkle of cheese and the chips before closing the sandwich.

And then devouring, gleefully.


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Konbinehellenia Egg Sando

Main, Sandwich, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Global All Stars the top five were tasked with filming tourism ads for each of their mother countries. And given how this went on Down Under 2, this could go one of many ways. Given how close she came to beating Jinkx in the branding challenge on their OG season, Alyssa was a neurotic mess, yet iconic. And despite Kitty being far more entertaining, took out a bookend win. At the other end of the pack, Tessa was one note and Kween focused on her Down Under sisters, which was all it took to land them in the bottom. Where Kween kept the Ru girls together by mopping the floor with the iconic Tessa and sending her home. Tragically.

Backstage the top four were thrilled to have made it all the way to the end, with Kitty, Kween and Nelly all thrilled to join the two-time finalist club. Alyssa toasted Tessa and her madness, considering adopting her into the Haus of Edwards officially. Should she not annoy her on tour and embarrass the name. Alyssa started to break down, overwhelmed to finally make it to the finals after all these years. Nelly admitted that she had actually thought she was going to be the Porkchop of the season, so to make it to the end, she feels like she was finally able to prove that she is talented. After they all had a cry, Kween led them in a hearty fuck yeah and as such, all was ok.

And just like that, I’m back on the Kween train.

The next day the finalists were no less excited, with Alyssa thrilled to make it to the end without landing in the bottom and hoping that would help her get the crown. Nelly reiterated that she was never less than safe too, and as such, consistency could see her crowned. As much as she’d like to show off her lip syncing skillz at some point, TBH. A siren rang out before the dolls were cast to the side as the eliminated queens made their triumphant return. Again. This time to take the spotlight as they battle it out to be crowned the Global Lip Sync Assassin. And a cash prize of $50K.

Everyone split up to start beating their mugs as Tessa congratulated the finalists on making it to the end. Talk turned to who is primed to win today’s little title, with everyone agreeing Gala, Vanity and Soa would have to be the frontrunners. While Pythia joked she thinks she and Eva are the front runners to her. Talk turned to how they would spend their money, with Miranda spending it on her family, Tessa and Athena would move out – and the latter would pay for her brother’s transition too, so we’re rooting for her even more – while Vanity wanted to spend it on a wedding. And invite some of her new sisters. Emphasis on some.

Ru, Michelle and Jamal took their places on the panel before wheeling out the dolls in their Global Lip Sync Eleganza Extravaganza and explaining that two by two they will face off, with the winners progressing until only one remains. Manuel from the Pit Crew pulled out his wheel to decide who would go first and ugh, Manuel is so hot, I am now distracted. But he must have spun it, as first up would be Vanity, who in turn got to select her opponent, going with Eva given she has already beaten her before. As the one to be chosen, Eva was able to select their song, going with Just What They Want. Which is what Nelly tipped, given it was clearly the hardest. Which proved smart, given Vanity had no idea what the lyrics were. Despite that, she gave hairography and an epic performance, which sadly wasn’t enough, as Vanity was sent to join the top four backstage as Eva progressed.

Manuel’s wheel came back – swoon – to line up Soa as the next performer. She in turn elected to face off against Tessa, who chose A.S.M.R. Lover for the soundtrack of their battle. Soa was honestly a delight from start to finish, as Tessa gave sexy and stupid before botching a split. Which sadly ended Ms T’s run and sent Soa through to the second round. Manuel then flooded our basement to line up Athena’s performance against Pythia to Jealous Of My Boogie. And from the first line, this was Athena’s redemption round. She was stupid and passionate, hitting every lyric and booked her place in round two. Leaving Gala to demolish poor Miranda in the final lip sync of the round to Cha Cha Bitch. Despite a cute little rainbow glitter rain moment and Gala literally dancing her wig off.

Which annoyed the shit out of Miranda, as she joined her sisters backstage. Which, fair.

Manuel got his wheel out again for round two, allowing Gala to select Eva as her next opponent while Eva selected Call Me Mother as their song. Despite not knowing any of the words, Gala was flipping around the stage and doing anything to distract, while Eva was fire from start to finish, enunciating every lyric, being fierce and sensual in equal measure. Which would have won her the lip sync, if Gala didn’t duck walk, which sent her through to the final round, it seems. As Soa and Athena lined up for U Wear It Well, it was clear both of them were desperate for the money as they turned a damn show. They gave attitude, they stomped the runway in unison and honestly, if they both made it to the final round, I wouldn’t have been mad. Sadly though, Ru only wanted two in the final, eliminating Athena and giving us the Gala/Soa rematch we deserve.

The eliminated queens and the top four were summoned back to the mainstage to watch the top two assassins battle for the win. To The Beginning. And damn, did they turn a show. While Gala was all attitude, Soa was oozing joy and was frankly magnetic, flicking her hair, hitting the lyrics and smiling the entire time. Gala slayed with air violin and handstand baby freezes, but make no mistake, it was Soa’s show. And the emotion rightly won her $50K and the title of Global Lip Sync Assassin. As she deserves.

Cocorico, cocorico, cocorico. Yas yas yas.

While the eliminated queens took their final bows, I quickly snuck up on Nelly and gave her a massive hug. She was super confused, given she hasn’t been eliminated yet, though I explained that given the season hadn’t gone very well for the ESL queens, I wanted to make sure she was well rested and fed heading into the finale. Because if anything can salvage this season, it is a victory for Nehellenia. Which was enough to perk her back up and get her on board with plotting her victory over a glorious Konbinehellenia Egg Sando.

Anyone that has had the deeply profound joy of eating an egg sando from a Japanese konbini knows that they are the only thing you ever need again. Sweet, rich and melt in your mouth, they are the perfect thing to feed your soul and encourage you to save the globe with your victory.

Enjoy!

Konbinehellenia Egg Sando
Serves: 2. 1 rightful victor and her bestie.

Ingredients
10 eggs
½ cup Kewpie mayonnaise
1 tsp kosher salt, plus more to taste
1 tsp raw caster sugar
¼ tsp black pepper
4 tsp thickened cream
2 tbsp unsalted butter, softened
4 slices Japanese milk bread, crusts removed

Method
Bring a medium saucepan of water to the boil. Once rollicking, carefully lower the eggs into the boiling water and cook for 10 minutes, or until hard boiled. Drain the eggs into a sink and plunge into iced water to cool for 15 minutes before peeling the eggs.

Split the eggs open and separate the yolks and whites into two bowls. Mash all the yolks in a bowl until they are almost a smooth paste. Add the mayonnaise, salt, sugar, and pepper and stir until well combined.

Finely chop the egg whites and add half to the yolk mixture, stir to combine, cover and chill for an hour. Reserve the rest of the whites for another recipe.

Once chilled, stir the cream into the egg mixture, seasoning with additional salt if required. Spread the butter evenly on one side of each bread slice. Top one slice, butter side up, with egg, cover with the remaining slice, butter side down. Slice into triangles and devour, in culinary heaven.


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Breakferas Basandwich

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Breakfast, Main, Sandwich, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor twelve people at the top of their games – aka Titans – were pitted against twelve wildcards – yep, you guessed it, Rebels – where the Titans lead the way in getting absolutely demolished by the Rebels as Tobias did the L on his forehead as often as possible. The Titans lost Frankie and Jessica back-to-back before the Rebels lost an immunity challenge. While the buff, alleged hotties thought they had control, Feras rallied the troops to take out Peta and Tobias back-to-back, sadly without the latter’s signature L. Kelli then was sent over to the Titans as a saboteur, failed, and then they lost Nathan before the tribes switched up for real.

Kelli upped the ante on the chaos – oh damn, Kelli was wild – before Caroline realised she needed to get rid of Viola to ensure Mark stayed loyal to her. Drawing the ire of Valeria in the process. Viola was followed out the door by Sarah and Garrick before Charles got rather screwed by a twist. Though it kept the Rebel minority strong, so whatever. Before the tribe finally grew tired of Kelli and sent her packing before the merge.

After the merge the stress of the game got to Scott as he quit the game, soon followed by Winna and Eden before Aileen became the Queen of the Jury. She was soon joined by Jaden and Valeria, before Alex put a massive target on Kirby’s back before he exited the game. Kirby’s closest ally Ri followed Alex out the door, before Caroline accidentally idolled her closest ally Kitty out of the game. The threat of Kirby winning finally spooked everyone enough to boot her, before Ray lost the fire challenge and became the Fourth Place Robbed Goddess of the season.

Despite winning the last two immunity challenges, Mark was the first to drop in the final immunity challenge. Despite being the perennial bridesmaid, Feras finally took out the win and promptly sent Mark to the jury. At the final tribal council, despite Caroline playing an extremely strong game, it was Feras that absolutely stole the show, answering everything with heart and grace before being named the Sole Survivor. Unanimously. With a big, hot Breakferas Basandwich to celebrate.

If there are two things I love with all my heart, it is breakfast and sandwiches. So yeah, this blog is full of different variations of breakfast sandwiches. Essentially a BEC but on sourdough, this one is glorious, easy and worthy of victory.

Enjoy!

Breakferas Basandwich
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
4 rashers streaky bacon
2 tsp butter
3 eggs, whisked
salt and pepper, to taste
2 slices sourdough
2 slices American cheese

Method
Heat a skillet over medium heat and fry the bacon until glorious and crisp. Remove to some paper towel, and keep warm.

Add the butter to the still hot pan and once melted and foamy, add the eggs to the pan and use a spatula to scramble by sweeping across the pan until set. Remove from the heat, season with salt and pepper, and remove from heat.

Toast the sourdough and transfer to a plate. Pop a slice of American cheese on one of the slices of bread, followed by two pieces of bacon, the eggs, the remaining bacon and American cheese. Close the sandwich with the remaining bread and devour, victoriously.


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Valeria Katsizova Sando

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Lunch, Main, Sandwich, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Ri’s bandage helped her win a second immunity. But seriously a bandaged hand protecting her from getting rope burn as to help the situation, no? Anyway, with Aileen gone, Kirby and Feras finally locked in a solid alliance with Ri and Jaden, and decreed Val their first target. Seeing that moves were happening without him, Alex jumped ship to the Titans to form a new majority, sadly unaware that Kitty was busy switching allegiances to the Rebels. At tribal council, Raymond also decided now was the time to make a move, though was rather obvious about it, leading to the Rebels switching the vote to Alex instead, who played his idol for Val. And was only saved by Ray switching his vote to Jaden. Which is both a blessing and curse.

Back at camp Feras confronted Ray for flipping the vote, while Ri and Kirby talked about shit about him for being a weasel. They joined the boys, with Ray explaining that all he cared about was keeping the Rebels safe and as such, when Mark assured him that all would be good if he voted for Jaden, he felt it was a good idea to flip. Which seemed to calm them all. Meanwhile the other alliance were busy debriefing, with Kitty copping to targeting Val, apologising and admitting she understands if they want her gone now. Which just feels so calm and mature.

The next day Alex, Caroline and Valeria were joking about making breakfast, while the Titans crew marvelled at how lucky they are to have him in their alliance. Particularly given Kitty now has a massive question mark against her. She caught up with Mark, sharing that while she made a mistake, she was hopeful that the general back and forth of this season’s alliances  would mean they could forgive her. Because she was willing to do whatever it takes to stay in the game, given she is clearly on the bottom and has zero other options. Meanwhile Caroline, Rianna and Mark caught up, wondering if something was wrong with Ray, who admitted he just wasn’t feeling it. Which he admitted to us was all an act, knowing he has to pull the target his way if he wants to use his advantage to build his resume. As he sulked, Feras supported him by talking up how disappointed he was by the previous tribal council and as such, Ray just wanted out. In the hope that everyone will pile the votes on him out of sympathy, and he could use the advantage to take out their biggest threat.

The tribe met up with Jonathan for a very shady little reward challenge where they would race to transport coconuts through an obstacle course and then slingshot them at tiles to eliminate their competitors until only one person is left on the board. For an epic high tea reward. Feras and Mark got out to an early lead, while Ray deliberately wasted his time, highlighting how dejected he is to attract that pity vote. It took a while for people to get their eyes in, before Mark took out Ri’s first tile, Alex took out one of Caroline and Kitty’s before Kirby knocked out Alex’s first. Feras shot at Ray, Alex got Kirby’s tile before Mark took out his own tile on the way to eliminating Kirby from the challenge. Feras then eliminated Caroline, Kitty got Val’s first while Mark got Feras’ before Alex eliminated Raymond. Ri then almost took herself out, before Alex officially did the honours. Feras then took out Mark, Alex then eliminated Feras before Valeria waited it out for Alex to eliminate her and snatch the reward. 

As is oft the case, JLP gave Alex the chance to invite two people to join him on reward, going with Val and Feras. Bringing together his old and new loves. JLP then let him go with another person, opting for Kitty, given nobody understands why she tried to flip. At the reward the crew quickly took their places at the table and immediately loaded up their plates. After filling up a little, talk turned to the game with Alex and Val now besties, and he was obviously hopeful to win Feras back over. Obviously Feras assured everyone that he will be happy to work with anyone at any time, assuming that they have mutual interests. Though told us, he is over Alex. Feras started to run the pre-work for the advantage, pointing out that Ray is close to quitting the game and he is quite worried for him, so is thinking they need to look at voting him out next and getting back to the game later. While back at camp Raymond continued to play disappointed, refusing food and water and all round making Caroline, Rianna and Mark super concerned for his wellbeing. 

Everyone came together that night as Ray continued to hang in the hammock by himself as Feras asked if anyone has even checked up on Ray, as he chuckled to us that their plan just may come together. Feras caught up with Ray to congratulate his glorious acting, laughing up how funny his plan is and how gutted Caroline in particular will be when she learns it is a scam. Feras went back to the shelter to talk to the tribe, with Caroline and Kitty quickly offering to vote him out if he is too upset by the game. With Ray giggling when Feras confirmed it was afoot. Ray rightly told Feras they need to loop in Kirby if they want to move forward with her, so they pulled her aside as she delighted in the drama. And they locked in a blindside on Val, given the rest of her alliance just aren’t powerful.

The next day Ray went back to his acting masterclass, as everyone tried and failed to see whether he was ok. Kirby decided she will win immunity today, like Annette Benning and selling a house, while Valeria wondered whether things were too simple going with a mercy kill on Ray, so felt it may be the right time to use it as a cover for a blindside.

Sad Ray and the rest of the tribe met up with Jonathan for the immunity challenge where they would race to manoeuvre a ball through a multi-level maze without dropping. With the first to the end jagging immunity. Ray straight up just leant on the wobbly table and acted sad while everyone else struggled to get their eye in. Kirby was first to make it down to the second level of the maze before she once again dropped, sending her back to the start. Kitty then did the same, followed by Mark. As Ray continued to deliver an acting masterclass. Alex then made it to the second level and dropped before Caroline and Valeria seemed to survive the transition and made it to the final level. It was then a race for immunity, before both of them dropped. This allowed Kirby to take the lead and power to immunity before Val could close the gap.

Back at camp Ray pulled everyone together to ask them to all vote for him as his head is just no longer in the game. He then said he was pretty embarrassed, so ran aside to sit by himself. Feras was feeling confident in his plan coming together as everyone seemed keen to grant Ray his wishes. He was so convincing and charming even Kirby was moved, and she was aware of the plan. Feras then pitched that they all yell out something nice when voting for Ray, as he’ll love the humour. With everyone vibing and happy to see another day, Valeria pulled Mark aside and floated the idea that Ray’s heartbreak could be the perfect cover for a blindside. Specifically, Rianna. Mark too liked the plan, though was worried they didn’t have the clear numbers to do it and as such, cautioned that they think about the jury and what keeping Ray in the game could mean in the long run. Kirby meanwhile felt nervous about leaving Rianna in the dark, so pulled her aside to loop her in and rightly, for once, she grew nervous about handing him all the power.

She is right to be nervous, but obviously I don’t like the fact that her lack of trust in Ray could be his downfall. Feras, girl, we may need that idol!

Mark checked in with Caroline to see how Ray was doing, while Rianna started to spiral. She caught up with Kirby in the ocean, asking whether they can really trust Ray will vote Valeria, and suggested that instead, they should just let Ray go but voting for another person. Kirby assured her they will be fine, so checked in with Ray to make sure that the plan is definitely Val. With him promising that he wants to make up for screwing the last tribal council and make amends with them. Mark, Alex and Feras caught up with Ray, with Alex giving a last ditch effort to pitch Ri before Feras leaned hard on the fact that Ray would love the record for the largest unanimous vote post-merge.

At tribal council Mark spoke about how everyone has worked with most others on the tribe, because they all just want to survive. Kitty spoke about the emotionally taxing vibe, given there had been feuds but then everyone was making up at rewards. Feras turned things to the task at hand, talking about everything being so difficult but tonight, there is clearly one person that they can all get behind voting out in Ray. He spoke about how sad he is and that he knows he is bringing the vibe of the season down, before Val spoke about how they have all had ups and downs, but he just can’t seem to get back up. Caroline agreed she is super worried about Ray and as such, she is happy to vote him out. Kirby then quietly took the immunity necklace off and handed it over to Ri, before talking about how stressed she has been feeling watching Ray get upset.

JLP then pointed out that Kirby handed immunity over to Ri and while they downplayed things as just the usual nerves that something may go wrong, it seemed to spook the Titans. Feras tried to point out that Ray desperately wants a unanimous vote, so he’d be so upset should someone use Ray’s wellbeing to execute a blindside. While Val pointed out it would make sense to try something, despite how sad they all feel for Ray. With that the tribe voted, Ray gave a little giggle and played his advantage, as everyone was gagged by its power. JLP then got to counting with the first eight piling up on Raymond, making him immune, before Valeria was sent to the jury with only a single vote. Despite the plot being a little bit messy, particularly given the circumstances surrounding Scott’s departure, Valeria took the blindside on her chin. And while she was disappointed, she was thrilled to go out in an iconic tribal council. Which made her as happy as a gloriously fresh Valeria Katsizova Sando.

There is nothing better than a fresh katsu sando. Melt in your mouth bread, hot and crunchy meat and the fresh crunch of some cabbage work together perfectly to cheer you up after even the most crushing defeats.

Enjoy!

Valeria Katsizova Sando
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 x 200g pork loin steaks, about 1-2cm 
salt and pepper, to taste
1 ½ tbsp flour
1 egg, whisked
1 cup panko breadcrumbs
vegetable oil, for fryin’
4 slices white sandwich bread
4 tsp butter softened
½ – 1 cup cabbage, shredded
3 tbsp tonkatsu sauce

Method
To prep the pork, trim any connective tissue between the meat and fat. This will help stop it from curling up while frying. Sprinkle both sides of the meat with salt and pepper, before dredging in flour, the egg and finally, the breadcrumbs.

Pop the oil in a pot over medium-high heat and once it hits 170C, add the pork and fry for about 2 minutes. Turn over and fry for another minute or so, or until golden and crunchy. Flip a final time to even up the colour before removing and allowing to drain on some paper towels.

To make the sando, spread the butter on two slices of bread, top with the tonkatsu, cabbage and the tonkatsu sauce before closing the sandos. And devouring, greedily. 


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Chicken & Kimchley Madisondwich

Main, Poultry, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 3, Sandwich, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under the dolls played the Snatch Game. And well, as is tradition, there weren’t many wins, though thankfully Ashley and Isis slayed. The former giving us gay Jesus – but for real, not JVN – while Isis’ choice to pivot from her original pick Gloria Swanson to Donatella Versace proved correct. At the other end of the pack was the rest of them, though for reasons, Flor was popped in the bottom despite her Charro only being one note rather than bad (like say, Italy’s Gabriella Labucci). Rita, however, was just bad bad as she found herself lip syncing for the third time and finally being put out of her misery. Though she got the recipe of the season, so that is kind of a win, TBH.

Backstage Flor barely read the mirror measure before wiping it away and assuring the dolls that she is now primed and ready to rise again. As they sat down, Gabriella praised Ashley for the victory and slaying Snatch Game in general, while Bumpa admitted that she was sure it would be Isis taking out victory. Which obviously annoyed Ashley, who felt she was just being bitter as she is on the decline, while Ashley is on the up and up. So they’re either a winning duo or in the bottom two tonight, no?

The next day the dolls were feeling rather zen, reiterating it felt like it was Rita’s time to go which led to Isis joking that Flor’s time may also be up soon. This fired her up, leading to Gabriella explaining that everyone has kinda won or had a star moment, while she hasn’t and as such, it was a fair assessment. Which absolutely made her lose it, cussing out Gabriella and telling her she bombed Snatch Game and should have been in the lip sync but just got lucky. Lucky to be beloved.

Before she could make it physical, Ru arrived and thankfully opened the library, with the help of a rugged zaddy member of the Pit Crew named Ben. So like the dolls, my basement is flooded. Gabriella was up first and bombed like it was Snatch Game. Isis too, sucked. Thankfully, them being so bad let Ru open up and read the dolls herself, so at least we started to win, I guess. Bumpa had a single joke, Flor was ok, Ashley also had a single read while Hollywould had energy but zero jokes. Not a one. And as such, for the first time in Drag Race herstory, Ru deemed Ben from the Pit Crew the winner. And in addition to his $2500 worth of glitter, he would be the one dividing the dolls into two girl groups for this week’s Maxi Challenge.

Inspired by Nicky Kid’s greatest film (outside of the AMC commercial) BMX Bandits, the dolls would write verses on the new hit single BMX Bitches, record them with Michelle and then perform live on the mainstage. And with Ben from the Pit Crew being another messy Ben (or under the guidance of Alexis Michelle), he joyfully grouped Ashley, Bumpa and Flor as one band, leaving Isis, Hollywould and Gabriella as the other.

After Ru exited, the dolls split up to work through their lyrics, with the latter group thrilled to be together. Gabriella planned to lean into character in the performance, given she is starting to get sick and lose her voice, with her sisters sweetly assuring her it was a good idea. The other group meanwhile were ready to prove themselves, while Ashley wistfully looked at the group of challenge winners, wishing she was with them rather than win-less Flor and Bumpa. As team winners powered ahead with their verses, Bumpa and Co were focused on trying to come up with a name. And sitting round in awkward silence. Meaning they are winning, or it is so obviously bad, there is no hiding it.

F.A.B. International – aka Flor, Ashley and Bumpa – were first up to record with Michelle with Ashley struggling to give energy, notes and personality. Flor on the other hand was sassy and delightfully, getting Michelle back into a good mood. While Bumpa was somewhere in the middle, giving so many words Toto style, though also getting a chance to shine. Leaving Ashley super nervous about the performance. The dolls traded out with SNS (Sexy & Stupid) where Gabriella’s smoker character to hide her busted voice was beloved, Hollywould rapped the shit out of her verse while Isis committed to singing. Sadly just the one note though, annoying Michelle who asked her to speak her verse instead. Leading her to spiral as Gabriella and Hollywould encouraged her to stay confident.

Backstage Isis opened up to her sisters, heartbroken to have let herself down as Ashley too joined the pity party. Feeling like she has well and truly made a fool of herself. Thankfully their sisters divide their time between the duo, raising them up and encouraging them to focus on how fierce they are.

F.A.B. were first to work through the choreography with Corey Barker, complete with bikes for all the dolls. And while it looks to be hilarious, camp fun, I’m not sure either of the groups will be able to nail it. Because bikes. Ashley continued to doubt herself and Bumpa had Corey confused, so bless, Flor seemed great by comparison. SNS meanwhile were solid, nailing their handlebar wanking, though it was clear Hollywould was truly a star (see what I did there?). Though Gabriella was also pretty damn good.

Elimination Day arrived with Isis still nervous, while Gabriella’s voice sounded even worse, morphing more and more into Madge. Ashley, bless, tried to assure her she’ll be resting at home tomorrow, Gabriella destroying her as she reminded her that she shouldn’t really talk as the weakest dancer of the group.

We quickly pivoted to the mainstage where Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined on the panel by the iconic Rachel Hunter. F.A.B. were up first with the performance clearly owned by Flor as Bumpa seemed lost for most of the time and well, it happened and Ashley was there. SNS meanwhile, slayed. Even Isis who had the energy and sold each moment. Gabriella was a demented, bogan, delight, though it was clear Hollywould was the Beyonce of the group; fierce, energetic and fun in each and every moment. On the Fuschia? I Don’t Even Know Her! runway Gabriella was a gorgeous fuschia space diva, Isis meanwhile gave futuristic snake queen, Hollywould was all glamour in an ode to old Hollywood, Bumpa was hilarious as I Dream of Jeanie, Ashley on the other hand was perfection in a gorgeous gown while Flor too gave alien enchantress.

Gabriella received universal praise for the performance, particularly for overcoming her lack of voice, while they also lived for her runway. Isis was praised for slaying the performance despite her weakness in the recording, and her outfit was just as beloved while Hollywould was the most beloved, for owning the performance and the runway. Bumpa’s runway received praise though she was read for getting lost in the performance, despite the fact she always sells fun. Ashley’s look in the performance was beloved, though all they could focus on were her nerves. Which was a direct contrast to the runway, which she nailed. Flor’s performance on the other hand was loved as was the runway, though Michelle hated the fit of her girl group look.

Feeling shady, Ru asked the dolls who they felt should go home, with Gabriella saying Flor, Isis hedging her bets between Flor and Ashley, Hollywould identified Ashley and Bumpa, while Ashley and Bumpa said Flor, while Flor returned serve on Bumpa. As such, backstage Flor was feeling nice and spicy, while Gabriella and Isis tried to start things off with an apology. Flor coldly suggested she didn’t care, while Ashley admitted she actually wanted to say Bumpa as Hollywould admitted that she picked Bumpa and Ashley because they clearly got the worst critiques. The dolls then started to fight, with everyone kinda agreeing Bumpa was the worst in the challenge and has gotten by in the competition thanks to her personality. To make Bumpa feel better, Isis tried to suggest Flor had also had that luck, leading to Ashley jumping in to defend her, yet again. And damn, they are cranky this week!

Ultimately SNS were deemed the top group, though it was Hollywould that took out victory solo. Flor too was deemed safe, leaving Bumpa and Ashley to lip sync for the final spot, to the Masterchef theme no less! And damn, it was a show. Both of the dolls hit every lyric and all the energy, though it was clear that Bumpa’s camp energy had the judges delighted. Tragically leading to Ashley’s exit, the newest member of the win to elim club.

As she arrived backstage, I pulled Ashley and her nipple pasties in for a massive hug and immediately reminded her she should be proud of herself. While she got off to a rough start, she always gave us iconic moments and won the Snatch Game, the latter of which should qualify her for an All Stars season on its own. Which seemed to perk her up enough to celebrate her success and toast to leveraging her appearance with a piping hot Chicken & Kimchley Madisondwich.

Does this pretty much just use leftovers from the fridge? Sure! But when it tastes this good, despite being so easy, who cares? The spicy kimchi and the sweet, crispy chicken make the perfect pairing on their own, but when you add in some vintage cheese, it truly sings.

Enjoy!

Chicken & Kimchley Madisondwich
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
4 slices bread
¼ cup Shayonnaise Swain
6 slices of vintage cheddar cheese
2 cups Josh Karaagate Chicken
1 cup kimchi

Method
Assuming you’ve already got the mayo, chicken and kimchi ready – or have some lying around the fridge – this is super simple.

Smear mayo on the bread, layer the cheese on two of the slices, top with karaage and kimchi, followed by the remaining bread. And then devour, gloriously.


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Ri-the Menu Cheeseburger

Burgers, Main, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 3, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under thanks to a perfectly timed fainting episode, Mother Ivory mothered and scored herself a check – I hope – for the third episode. After Rita returned to the Werk Room, inspired and ready for rudemption, she learnt that the dolls would being starring in an improv sketch for the Fake Housewives of Down Under. And was instantly filled with dread. Gabriella on the other hand was positively pumped, confident in finally getting her star turn and being able to snatch the win. Which she promptly did, though TBH, the competition was hardly there. Flor was barking mad, Bumpa was Bumpa – so beloved – while Ivanna just looked to be trapped in her head and Rita was an absolute mess. When it came to the lip sync, Rita once again got her energy back, slaying and saving herself, while poor Ivanna exited stage left.

In the exact same placement as her husband Anita.

Backstage Rita was gagged to have survived her second lip sync in a row, putting it down to her hunger for the competition. While Hollywould pointed out it may just be because she is a lip sync assassin. The dolls meanwhile toasted the heartbroken Ivanna, wishing the judges got to see how joyous and fun she was backstage, since they felt it was lacking in the challenges. Talk turned to Gabriella’s win before Ashley continued her Milk storyline, complaining about how she has now been safe twice and as such, she was hungry for a win. Though Flor assured her that she was too. While Italy’s own Ms. Labucci decided that since she has had a taste of victory, she is well and truly ready for another.

Asking the dolls to catch her as she skated on by.

The next day everyone was feeling positive and ready to face the next challenge. Particularly Flor, given she was happy to get rid of the teams given Bumpa did her head in. Hollywould meanwhile agreed that she was kinda shocked Bumpa was deemed high in the last challenge, before Rita reminded everyone that while she lip synced twice in one episode, she knows her worth and isn’t going to let it impact her. Hopefully not jinxing herself again in the process. Ru interrupted the kiki wheeling out 10 of the hottest Pit Crew members for the dolls to pick out who is wearing matching panties. As is often the case, we all won but Gabriella Labucci won that little bit more. But who cares, packages!

And for this week’s Maxi Challenge, the dolls would be playing the Snatch Game so really we have no time to dwell on logistics. Simply remember them fondly.

After Ru departed, the dolls split up to talk through their characters with Flor wisely locking in Charo while Bumpa excitedly shared she was doing a famed Opera Singer. Isis meanwhile locked in Gloria Swanson, Hollywould planned to do community service Naomi Campbell and Gabriella, like an icon, was doing Emma Wiggle. Ru dropped by to talk to her new daughters, with Gabriella admitting how nervous she was to live up to the expectations of the judges as a proven comedy queen. And the fact Ru had no idea about The Wiggles. Isis meanwhile had Ru nervous with her choice before Ashley delighted her with her choice of playing Jesus Christ himself. But make it gay. Rita meanwhile thought it was a good idea to play the pioneer of the suffragette movement – Rita gurl, you’re in danger. Thankfully though, after Ru bounced, Isis and Rita spiralled over their choices and both opted to change.

We dropped by the Snatch Game set where Gabriella stuck with Emma Wiggle, Isis pivoted to Donatella Versace, Bumpa stuck with Dame Kiri Te Kanawa, Rita went to Cardi B while Hollywould, Ashley and Flor wisely stuck with their OG choices. While I’d love to say it was finally a winning Down Under Snatch Game, it wasn’t, as Ashley and Isis far and away ran  circles around their sisters. Ashley in particular, talking about Jesus being bred and living out her gay dreams. While Rita was just a mess. But so messy, it was kinda charming?

Elimination Day arrived with Ashley feeling her oats, ready to potentially snatch a win and stamp her place in the contest. While Hollywould exuded confidence, she admitted she was joking and knew she was a mess. Though a gracious mess, as she praised Isis and Ashley for slaying. Ashley in turn felt Bumpa would be joining them in the top, while the rest of the dolls all kinda knew any of them could be going home. Except Flor, who was sure she would be the third top, while Gabriella was simply hoping she would be safe.

Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined on the panel by Keiynan Lonsdale as the dolls stomped the Night of 1000 Kylie Minogue’s runway. Bumpa was up first, gorgeous in blue and green in Kylie’s showgirl era, Ashley served In My Arms music video, and was glorious, before Flor gave us the green fairy and was stun. Ning. Rita gave the weaker version of the In My Arms music video, though her mug was so, so, so perfect. Hollywould gave cyborg Kylie and was fierce as hell, Isis also gave a more glamorous green fairy before Gabriella gave Delinquents premiere Kylie, rather than Charlene like I desperately hoped from her.

Hollywould and Gabriella were sent to safety before Bumpa was praised for a strong start in Snatch Game, though read for fading throughout. Though her runway was beloved. Ashley meanwhile got wall to wall praise for Snatch Game and her runway. Praised in particular for bringing dignity to her Jesus without losing the jokes. Isis too was absolutely beloved, while Rita’s look received wall to wall praise, though her Snatch Game was truly hated. Flor meanwhile was read for not bringing any comedy to her character work, though they found her outfit cute.

Backstage the dolls caught the safe girls up, with Rita shocked they were safe given she would have put them both in the bottom. Everyone agreed the win was down to Ashley and Isis, before Rita and Flor admitted they were confident they would be lip syncing. And they bloody hated it, given it is Rita’s third in a row. With sweet Gabriella encouraging them to learn the lip sync and use it as the fire to push them further in the competition. Bless.

Ultimately Ashley took out victory as Isis was sent to safety alongside her, before Bumpa was gagged to join them, leaving Rita to serve her third lip sync of the season against Flor. And as soon as the singing budgie’s Secrets kicked off it was clear both girls had the fire Gabriella requested, though Flor’s experience proved to give her a little edge. Hitting every lyric and slaying the game. Which was enough to save her and send sweet Rita Menu out of the race. 

While she wished she read a fucking book – included only because it was a glorious exit line – I assured her that if we learnt anything from the Book Ball in Season 8, it is that illiteracy is hilarious. I pulled her in for a hug and told her she should be so proud of how well she did in the competition, and honestly, could have gone a lot further if not for a bad run of challenges for a non-comedy queen. Which proved to delight her enough to wipe away her tears and sit down to enjoy a piping hot Ri-the Menu Cheeseburger.

Despite the gastronomic delights of The Menu, the dish that has everyone salivating is its gloriously simple burger. And after sampling a version compositing all the copycats I could find on the internet, I know why. Crunchy and umami, sweet and gooey, this perfect burger has everything and will keep you coming back again and again.

Enjoy!

Ri-the Menu Cheeseburger
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
500g 80/20 beef mince
1 tsp kosher salt
½ tsp black pepper, ground
½ small onion, thinly sliced
4 slices American cheese
2 Briocher Bünsberg, toasted
your favourite burger sauce – I can’t go past the one from Smoke Shacqui Patterson – and dill pickle chips, to serve

Method
Divide the beef evenly into 4 portions and gently roll into meatballs, working as little as possible so you can still see the strings of the mincing. Pop on a plate and place in the freezer for no more than 15 minutes.

Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat and get the air vent going or open up your windows, as there will be smoke. You will know the pan is hot enough if you splash water in the pan and it balls up and rolls along the surface. Place the balls in the hot skillet, top with a square of parchment and using a large metal spatula, flatten each into a patty. Sprinkle each with a little salt and pepper, followed by some sliced onion.

Once the base of the patties have crisped – about 90 seconds or so should do – flip over, season the tops and top with a slice of cheese, and cook until the bottoms are gloriously crisp.

To assemble, smear some sauce on the base of the buns, top with some pickle chips, followed by the two patties and close. Then devour, gloriously.


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Coronashaun Chicken Hampsondwiches

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Lunch, Main, Poultry, Sandwich, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor George was playing 5D chess as he told Hayley about his secret $60K prize at the auction, not as a way to get her to take him to the end as she assumed but to act as a canary in the coal mine for her turning on him. After his attempts to work with the OG Heroes at the previous tribal council, though when he won immunity George had to pivot. Despite Shaun and Nina being on the bottom without any more idols to save them, George started to grow concerned about how close Shiz were and as such, used Hayley and Nina to blindside arguably the biggest threat to win, Shonee, instead. Breaking the heart of the nation and ruining the month of March for me.

Back at camp Simon marvelled at how great the blindside was as Liz and George immediately caught up, with him taking full credit for the move but assuring her he feels horrible about it. Though he did admit that this turn of events now makes it easier for the two of them to win, before he promised that the two of them will still be there to face off at the final challenge. He went back to Hayley and Matt to assure them that Liz is still 100% on their side, gloating to us about how well he played it all. The next morning however it was very clear how wrong he was, as George and the tribe joked around while Liz stared daggers at him. In her confessional she broke down in tears, heartbroken to have not only lost her bestie but to have been lied to by the entire tribe. And while she felt all alone at the bottom, she vowed to bide her time and take George down at the right time.

As he dressed up as Shonee and she pretended to laugh. And oh God, I am here for her Natalie Anderson revenge arc.

George caught up with Gerry and once again incorrectly assured him that nothing has changed with Liz, so now they just power ahead as a group of five rather than six. Which was also formerly seven. As such, he turned his attention back to Nina, Shaun and Simon, vowing to exacerbate tensions between them to keep them from pulling off any moves together. Speaking of Simon, he was next to chat with George, pointing out that he did what he was asked at the previous tribal council and as such, wanted to know if he would protect him at the next vote. With George assuring him that he, Hayley and Matt all see it that way, so he is good. Simon then pointed out that he has had very little agency throughout the season and as such, is unlikely to get many votes at the end before straight up floating the idea of them going to the final two together.

Sadly George then told us that when the vote changed to Shonee, the deal changed. So poor, sweet Simon is once again in danger.

The tribe reconnected with my love JLP for the reward challenge where they would use their feet to release some blocks, organise them and then stack them onto a three level tower and place a flag on top. For one of two cars and a little picnic. Matt whipped out in front from the very first moments while everyone else took a more slow and steady approach. Nina overtook him when it came to building as Simon and Liz closed the gap. Shaun meanwhile was a mess while Hayley was surprisingly almost just bad, making me feel like she is throwing it to avoid the car curse. Simon eventually took out the lead as he powered through the third level with Nina and Matt right behind. Until Nina dropped a couple, that is. In any event, it didn’t really matter as Simon continued to power through, placed his flag and guaranteed he would not be winning the game. After breaking down in tears over such an epic victory, everyone hugged him before Shaun begged to go with him on the reward. After selecting his ute, he opted to take not Shaun but Matt and Hayley. Before JLP chose to be kind and let him choose one more person. With him shockingly once again not opting for Shaun, but Nina.

The foursome disappeared to celebrate Simon’s win with their epic feast, joyfully eating everything in sight before everyone spoke about how shocked – and grateful – they were to Simon for picking them to go along. Hayley knew it was a good chance for some strat chat and given Simon is super eager to play, asked him if there was a specific reason why he chose the three of them to come. With him hilariously saying no, given he had no options anyway. He then told everyone that George told him to vote Shaun last night to save himself, while Nina opened up about her own deal with George and that they really can’t let him get anywhere near the final five. While Matt straight up told them he didn’t think he would ever turn on George. For some reason that made Hayley feel like it was the right time to get messy, telling everyone about George’s $60K win at the auction. And while she thinks it will rally everyone and help them take George down, I feel telling Matt will be the actual undoing. Tragically, hers.

The groups came back together for the latest immunity challenge where they would each have to squat against a wall to try and balance an idol on a ledge with the last person holding up their idol taking out victory. Almost instantly Matt became the first to go and followed by George, as Jonathan speculated the challenge would be over within ten minutes. Liz was next to drop, followed by Gerry at two minutes before Hayley dropped out of nowhere as Simon shook hard. Hayley tried to keep Shaun focused before Simon dropped, leaving Nina to fight it out against the athlete to be the first Twine to win individual immunity. After ten minutes both of them were struggling badly before Shaun finally dropped, taking out the win for the Twine family. And ugh, I’m as proud as Sandra would be right now!

Back at camp the tribe quickly got to work scrambling, with George pulling Shaun aside to float the idea of getting rid of Simon. He laid it on thick, pointing out that once Simon is gone, the entire tribe opens up as everyone settles on the endgame and that he truly sees value in them working together. George then caught up with Hayley, Matt and Nina, locking them in on a solid vote for Simon. Hayley however was ready to make a(nother) move and as such, pushed hard to split the vote between Shaun and Simon so she could dictate who goes home. Liz joined them and they quickly locked in the split before George approached Shaun to let him know about it too. Though once again assured him that things will get better tomorrow. That is if he is still there, thanks to Hayley.

George returned to camp and looped Gerry in on the plan, praising it for being completely foolproof. The only potential complication to it however, was Nina, who he just isn’t sure he can trust. As such, he pulled her aside and begged her to hold firm on the plan and while she assured him she is good, he wasn’t sure. He then found Hayley and spoke to her about his fears and once again, she promised they were fine. Sadly for him, he didn’t factor in Simon and given he had spent the afternoon being ignored, he was also ready to make a move given something is clearly afoot. And since Matt has already said he will never turn on George, Simon suggested they get rid of him instead. He and Shaun locked it in before approaching Liz to see if she’d be interested in working with them. And when she was, they rallied Nina and Hayley to see if they’d be willing to take the shot.

While George was just confident he was making it to the end again, unaware that there are multiple plans on the table and without Shonee around as a shield, he is now the biggest threat. Which is wild, given a winner is there.

At tribal council George opened up how great Shonee looks, though was using her as a reminder that anything can happen at tribal council and you can never let your guard down. Otherwise you get taken out. Liz meanwhile spoke about how sad she is to be without Shonee, fairly throwing George under the bus for being the cause of her demise though admitted she had to move on, otherwise she will be cut. Shaun meanwhile was grateful to have been saved at the last couple of tribal councils, though continued to advocate for people in the majority to use him – swoon – to make a move. Before Simon spoke about how Shonee going simply transferred power from the Spice Girls, to George, Gerry and Matt, meaning he was still on the outs. And George is still in power. While George tried to laugh it off, Matt started to spook and questioned whether Simon was still the plan.

Talk turned to Nina’s victory, with her sweetly saying she will keep it as a surprise for her mum. Liz mentioned that everyone should be feeling nervous without immunity, while Hayley reminded them that they now need to turn their attention to who they face off against in the final three. With George saying if you haven’t done that yet, you may as well just go to the jury now. Simon theatrically got up to wander off – bless – before talking about George telling he has done nothing to justify the win, leading to yet another blow-up between them as Simon – again, bless – told him trying is sometimes enough. He then admitted to being nervous, unsure how to rebuild trust this late in the game. With that the tribe voted and the smile was promptly wiped off George’s face as Hayley switched her vote and sent Shaun out of the game. As George vowed to get revenge on Nina for flipping, as he praised his spot-on instincts to Hayley on their walk back to camp.

As Shaun arrived at the Jury Villa, I was inspired by Simon at the previous immunity challenge and straight up climbed him like a tree for a hug. Once again, Shaun played an exceptionally strong game, which is sometimes forgotten because he looks and is built the way he is. He has solid reads on the game, builds loyalty, is strategic and most importantly, kind and likeable, meaning people naturally gravitate to him. Add in the fact he is 9 foot and hot as hell – not to be mistaken for rotting in hell or rawting in heal, which Tom Sandavol should do – and well, you’ve got an all around strong player that will make it to the merge, but will never win given he is the target. Which more than earned him a big fat platter of regal Coronashaun Chicken Hampsondwiches.

Originated way back when at the last coronation of the British Empire, these sandwiches may not be everyone’s cup of tea (see what I did there?), but they are jam packed with flavour. Sweet and tangy, they are a decadent way to celebrate a solid run and toast the way that is king of our loins. And long may he reign (on me).

Enjoy!

Coronashaun Chicken Hampsondwiches
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
¼ cup Shayonnaise Swain
2 tbsp Joe Manngo Chutney
2 tsp curry powder
1 lemon, zested and juiced
2 tsp dijon mustard
1 tsp celery salt
1-2 cups roast chicken, shredded
butter, for spreading
4 slices sourdough
1 cup baby spinach leaves

Method
Combine the mayo, chutney, curry powder, lemon zest and juice, mustard and salt in a bowl and toss through the chicken until well coated. If you want a lighter flavour hit, go with more chicken.

To assemble, butter the bread and divide the mixture between two slices. If you went with more chicken, however, you can probably get more sandwiches out of it, so build to taste. Anyway, top the mixture with some baby spinach and close with the remaining bread. For full royal flair, cut into triangles. Otherwise just devour greedily.


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