Justriacha Mayo

Condiment, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK 4, Sauce, TV, TV Recap

While the UK has undergone a lot of turmoil in the last few weeks, Ru, Michelle, Alan and Graham are thankfully back to provide a sense of stability. Kind of like how one Liz came into power just as one was taken from us to keep a state of equilibrium, which I’m not not saying was deliberate. Thankfully as a King has ascended, the Beeb is keeping us fed by unleashing 12 new queens on the Werk Room, starting with the iconic Danny Beard giving leather daddy realness, but make it clown. And well, I love her so. She was joined by Baby and given she gives off big Tayce energy, I LOVE her. Pixie Polite arrived adorbs, charming and old school and I live for everything about her.

If she survives the Brighton curse, obvi.

Sminty Drop arrived giving space-twink sex pot and well, maybe twinks are my thing because she is so gorgeous. More importantly, she is Gothy’s granddaughter and well, I live. Starlet arrived giving old glam and looking like Gothy and Krystal’s love child, so you KNOW she will be Ru’s fave. Jonbers Blonde arrived and stole my damn heart, giving sex AND Disney villain. And yeah, BRB, I’m drippin’. Black Peppa arrived and hot damn, while Jonbers may have my loins, Peppa has my heart. She is an icon, she is the moment, she is PERFECTION.

The world’s foremost Ginger Spice impersonator Just May – aka Alan Carr does Geri – arrived and well, I love her and how adorable she is. Or sad, if you trust Danny’s take. Dakota Schiffer arrived serving trans icon and you KNOW she is going to be the vintage fashion queen based on her Sharon Tate playboy bunny references. Copper Topp was next up and was a natural redhead, willing to teabag, so yeah, I’m into it all. Le Fil shot into the Werk Room and well, I love her; energetic, sassy and SO damn silly. And she went to school with the DDC, so you know she is going to serve it. Potentially in a silver dress and a red wig. And I DO think. Rounding out the cast though was Cheddar Gorgeous, the absolute icon and well, the dolls are quivering because this is like Bianca walking into Season 6.

I mean, everyone sat around and gushed about how she inspired them to start drag and push themselves. And well, it was glorious.

Ru finally dropped by to meet her new daughters, promptly whipping out the Brit Crew – ugh, I can’t breathe – for a Spice Girls London 2012 entrance photoshoot. Obviously Just May was up first, giving all the Geri and well, I LIVE. Particularly since Geri does Rachel Griffiths in Muriel’s Wedding. Sminty Drop was all model, Danny was perfection, Jonbers was silly and sexy in equal measure, Dakota was ethereal and beautiful while Baby looked like a drowned rat, having the best time. Copper was living her best life, Peppa looked like she was living her best life with Tyra on ANTM, Pixie was charming as all hell, Le Fil was a hairy delight, Starlet was enjoying herself despite the rains and Cheddar was 100% professional – obviously. There could only be one winner though, and that was Peppa – again, obviously – because she is a star and I love everything about her.

Before departing Ru announced that for their first Maxi Challenge, the dolls would have to serve two looks on the runway. They’d kick things off with the Keeping It 100 runway in honour of the Beeb’s 100th anniversary, while their second look – Ru Are You? – would show the judges their signature drag. In front of guest judge, my dear friend Joanna Lumley, no less!  With that, Ru exited as the dolls fought to find their place in the Werk Room and unpack, with Dakota in particular scared of being in the competition with the iconic Danny and Cheddar. Peppa meanwhile was thrilled that her BBC runway is amazing and as such, she was ready for another slay. As they took off their make-up, Le Fil and Just May bonded over their insecurities and hearing how Just May can’t see how beautiful she is breaks my heart. 

Because. She. Is.

Elimination Day arrived as the dolls were giddy to stomp their very first runways, though were also a little nervous about potentially being the one to go home. Copper, Starlet and Sminty caught up, talking about their BBC runway inspos which ranged from Ab Fab to Antiques Roadshow and ugh, this is going to be good. The dolls meanwhile realised Peppa was going to be serving Blobby which led to her calling out Danny for being one note and well, I live for it all. 

Ru, Michelle and Graham were joined by an oh so perfect Joanna as Cheddar opened the BBC Keeping It 100 as the literal test card, giving black and white, with a little rainbow clown and well, I loved it all. Jonbers served Blue Peter and well, sink me Jonbers. Le Fil gave full on Pudsey Bear, but make it model, Sminty was a glamorous antique lamp in honour of the roadshow while Baby was hilarious yet sexy as Rastamouse. Dakota was the sexiest Anne Boleyn from Horrible Histories, Danny was a sexy latex Mr Blobby, Just May gave the literal bust from Eastenders, Copper gave Julie Waters in the two soups sketch, Starlet gave Patsy in FRONT of Patsy while Pixie was glorious as Del Boy, aka an extra from the Matilda movie. Oh and then Black Peppa gave sexy Mr Blobby, making it better AND more club kid. And explaining her shady banter with Danny.

Cheddar kicked off the Ru Are You runway as a sexy deity Mad Max extra, but make it mediaeval. Jonbers was perfect as a sporty leather dame, this time with GB colours, Le Fil was a sexy red delight, Sminty was all leg, with a side of Marie Antoinette, Baby was a red, street-puff delight before Dakota gave theatre curtains, but make it model. Danny was a shimmering, shiny architectural delight, Just May was the literal personification of va-va-voom, Copper was a ginger billboard with a message, Starlet went full fairy, Pixie gave rainbow over the pier while Peppa once again demolished as a literal wrapped chocolate, despite the fact her headpiece fell off mid-stomp.

Cheddar, Jonbers, Le Fil, Baby, Danny and Pixie were sent to untuck backstage before they heaped Sminty with all the praise for giving two differing, completely polished looks. Dakota was read for clearly being nervous, despite looking absolutely stunning. Just May was praised for being stupid and funny, despite not really giving much polish, just moisturiser. Copper was praised for her polish, though was read for being a little one note. Starlet was perfection from start to finish, which is what all the judges told her before Peppa received universal praise, but even better. The better Blobby and then complete chocolate fashion, literally. Oh and then she broke down about how happy she was to be sharing herself and well, crown her already, ok?

Backstage the dolls were thrilled to be safe, none more so than Pixie who finally broke the Brighton curse. While Danny was thrilled to make it through, she admitted to the girls she hides behind her confidence because she was absolutely bricking it. The tops and bottoms returned with Dakota sure it would be her lip syncing up against Copper, heartbroken to not slay when she expected herself to. Copper too was heartbroken, while Just May opened up about how she is so nervous when out of her comfort zone. Though was hopeful her personality would carry her through. While Peppa was just super proud of herself. As she should be.

Ultimately Sminty was deemed safe, followed by Starlet leaving Black Peppa to rightly take out the very first win of the season before Copper narrowly avoided the bottom thanks to her message. Which left a gagged Just May to battle it out against Dakota to Mabel’s Let Them Know. And well, Dakota was simply not willing to be the first one to go, giving all the attitude and hitting every lyric. Just May was campy, cute and so much fun, but Dakota just pulled all the attention, in all the right ways. Which was enough to keep her in the competition, tragically at the cost of sweet Just May who became the Porkchop – sorry, Gothy – of the season.

Backstage I was, how do you say, a little bit intense, pulling Just May in for a hug and holding her by the face and telling her through gritted teeth how beautiful she is and how I need her to start seeing even half of what others see. Because she is so talented, charming, funny and a little bit silly, which is everything that makes her AND Geri great. Thankfully she wasn’t too freaked out by that, as we quickly became the fastest of friends and sat down to toast her future success with a shot of Justriacha Mayo.

I love mayo and I love sriracha, so it really shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone that sriracha mayo is one of my favourite condiments. Secondly only to wasabi mayo, but I digress. Sweet, creamy and packing a punch, this is perfect with pretty much everything. Even the post-boot blues.

Enjoy!

Justriacha Mayo
Makes: 1 cup.

Ingredients
1 cup Shayonnaise Swain
¼ cup sriracha
1 lemon, zested and juiced
1 garlic clove, finely grated
kosher salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Combine the mayo, sriracha, lemon zest and juice and garlic in a bowl, and season with salt and pepper.

Then down in shots, or with dumplings, sushi, on a sandwich, with chips. I could go on, so just use your judgement, ok?


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Morriahti Young

Bread, Snack, Street Food, Survivor, Survivor 43, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor – as you have already heard me gush – we were graced with the presence of one of the greatest personalities to take out the game, arguably since Sandra 2.0. Or maybe Tyson. Maryanne was funny, emotional and oh so charming, and watching her work her way to victory was downright delightful. Sadly though, we’ve got to drop the 2 as 43 kicked off – see what I did there, Probst – with three speedboats jetting through the water with 18 new castaways. And let’s just say, they aren’t the only things that are new – the editors have some tricks! There were drones, there were joke chyrons and even an intro for one. And it was fun.

But that isn’t what we’re here to discuss, though you know I’d gladly dedicate 2000 words to it. Survivor 43 is here and we first met Ryan, who looks like a total zaddy and I will already follow him to the ends of the earth. Nneka is cute and Morriah, for some reason, is here for RuPaul’s Best Friend Race. Sami meanwhile is my hair twin and makes up words, Lindsay is an adorable, iconic frontline hero and I stan her already, no wait, Karla is even more up my alley. Lindsay and Karla final two, please. Cody looks like a potential day 4 zaddy, Elie is going to see if she can use her psychology background better than Tori, and Owen is perfect, he is hair goals, he is THE moment.

The boats eventually made it to shore where Jeffrey proudly welcomed them to the Survivor family which immediately made Elie overwhelmed and a little shocked that it was actually happening. We first spoke with Jeanine who called Survivor a total dream for her and her immigrant father and well, I guess there needs to be more room on my stan card because I love her too. Sweet James was hoping to follow in his hero Earl’s footsteps while Gabler is the right kind of kookie to win my heart, while Paralympian Noelle spoke about how losing her leg was the best thing that ever happened to her and, gag of the season, she actually applied before she lost it. And the fact that she wants to make some leg jokes along the way makes me love her even more.

After a quick recap of the design of the game, Jeff announced they would be forming the Vesi, Baka and Coco – literally, coco – tribes. And would immediately be competing together in the first reward challenge where duos would run off one pair at a time to retrieve crates before the final duo build a cube and retrieve a key, with the first to finish earning a flint, a pot and a machete. Baka got out to the earliest of leads while Vesi nipped at the heels before they started to overtake in the water. It was then that Coco powered ahead out of nowhere, building their cube and working on retrieving their key way ahead of the others. Sadly, that proved super difficult which allowed for everyone to catch up before Dwight was given some good advice and able to jag victory for Vesi.

We first checked in with the victorious Vesi where Cody was all energy and on cloud nine about their victory. He shared that he binged Survivor during the pandemic and upon decided he had what it takes to win, was ready to live it for real. As the tribe introduced themselves, I immediately fell in love with Nneka and Justine – who is stunning – while Dwight got the clown music as he struggled to build the shelter which I hope is only the beginning of an underdog edit. Over at Baka, Gabler was nervous to already be at a disadvantage, given he is so much older than his fellow castaways, before they discovered their two options to earn their supplies, one a mental puzzle and the other to isolate two people to work hard. While Sami offered to sweat, the tribe chose to do the puzzle which required them to move two bones from a shape to create the largest number possible.

While they battled their wits, over at Coco Ryan and Geo offered to dig for four hours and while it seems like a stupid move, Ryan stripped down to his undies and as such, I’m moister than an oyster. Specifically the ones that spat on Kimmi and Monica in Second Chances. Ryan then opened up about his cerebral palsy and well, I love him even more and want him to win so bad. And that was before he even heroically dug out their reward in less than half an hour. Back at Baka the tribe continued to struggle over the puzzle, until Sami gamed the system out of nowhere and solved it for them at the exact moment I was smugly proclaiming how obvious the answer was. Which proved to be incorrect. While I sulked, Sami opened up about how proud he was to solve the puzzle despite being the youngest on the tribe and shared with us that because he is 19, he is totally planning to lie about his age to his tribe.

We returned to Vesi where Noelle was living her best life, glad to have not needed to go through another challenge to get their supplies and to have quickly aligned with Justine given they were vibing so well. Sadly for them, Nneka, Cody and Jesse noticed how tight they had become, immediately locking in their own alliance and well, Justine girl, you’re in danger. And no, please don’t make her the Jessie Camacho of the modern era because I can’t take that kind of pain again. Oh and Cody was busy targeting her for being in sales, despite being in sales himself which will totally come back to bite him, right? Right on queue, Jesse admitted he isn’t exactly sold on the alliance and as such, is willing to work with the girls, begging the question, what about Dwight?

Over at Baka as the tribe tried to build shelter, Owen was focused on building alliances. And by alliances, I mean assuring anyone in sight that he would let them know if he heard their name come up at all. Which is a great non-promise, but could still come back to bite you if people start talking. Meanwhile Elie and Morriah were bonding over their families with the former opening up about her older sister dying of an overdose during 2020 and ugh, it is heartbreaking to hear but seeing how it rallied the women together, I live. Because, duh, I always root for the all female alliances.

Coco’s shelter building meanwhile was looking to be going ok, but like Owen before her, Cassidy was more focused on building alliances. Hearing my call, those alliances were specifically with the women on her tribe and the fact that they know how difficult the game is for women, I live for it. Sadly for my love Ryan, though, they wanted to bring in James to take control over the tribe and ice out my zaddy. Baka meanwhile had changed their focus as the men started working on building a fire as Sami explained that cremating pets is not murder, but disposing of their bodies. Which I thought was obvious, but great! In any event, he made fire while Gabler wandered off to try and form a bond with Elie over heavy metal bands and do I ship this? Probably. Do I ship it as much as the two all female alliances? God no.

The next day Coco were living their best lives, getting camp set up while Karla and Geo bonded over being queer, married members of the Latinx community and fuck me dead, THIS is the final two I want now, please and thank you. Despite the fact it kinda means my love Ryan is screwed. Well, unless Karla sides with the boys, given she clearly holds all the damn power in the tribe. We pivoted to Vesi where Jesse was opening up about growing up in gangs as a teen before he turned his life around while in juvenile detention. He now had a PHD with two adorable kids and is proud to be a hope for other people and ugh, he is the sweetest. Oh and while Jesse formerly had gang tattoos, Cody had LIVIN tattooed on his butt.

After the tatt talk dissipated, Justine focused on trying to get fire started for their tribe and while she was struggling, she was happy the shelter was doing good at least. At that exact moment, the shelter collapsed before she sparked a flame. Which sadly then went out, which gives off big retrograde energy. Thankfully they were distracted by the arrival of a speedboat directing them – and the two other tribes at the same time – to select one person to get on said boat for a little adventure. While Lindsay wanted to bounce at Coco, they drew numbers with Karla winning out, Gabler won Baka’s random draw while Dwight was just allowed to go, rather than any game of chance.

The trio met up at the famed quest island – formerly the Edge of Extinction – where they were thrilled to discover they didn’t need to walk up to the top of the island, instead wading through the shallows to a large rock. Shallows that were riddled with moss and oysters, so actually more dangerous than a stroll up a hill. Eventually they made it, learning that instead of a ship wheel, they now get to openly announce whether they want to risk their votes at the first tribal council, with them each selecting their fate out of a bag corresponding with how many people chose to risk it. Ultimately Gabler and Dwight opted to risk, while Karla was wise to play it safe. And more importantly to her, avoid painting a target on her back.

Back at Vesi the tribe were still heartbroken to not have fire before Justine once again managed to get flame, and this time managed to keep it alight. As Dwight returned to camp he opted to keep things truthful, knowing that everyone knows what those journeys are all about anyway. And while he was totally honest, Cody was not buying any of it and as such started sowing seeds of doubt about him amongst the tribe. At Baka, Gabler also told the tribe the truth before going for a walk and discovering he had jagged an idol for the next two tribal councils and while everyone else celebrated with him, they seem to be ignoring the fact it means he is safe and they are not. Which is never good.

Speaking of safety, Jeffrey returned for the first immunity challenge of the season where the tribes would have to race through obstacles to release three balls, dig under a log, climb up a ramp, cross a balance beam and solve one of three table mazes. With them getting to choose which one, based on the order they arrive. Oh and sticking around from last season, the losers not only go to tribal council but have to forfeit their flint. Coco got out to an early lead while Vesi and Baka struggled to get under their logs. Specifically the latter as Jeanine got straight up stuck. As Vesi and Baka tried to close the gap, Coco landed all their balls and jagged immunity leaving the other tribes to desperately fight for the second win. Which eventually went to Vesi after they got their eye in, sending a defeated Baka to tribal council.

Back at camp the tribe quickly pivoted from disappointment to scrambling, with Sami in particular looking forward to getting their games started. Knowing he was kind of responsible, Gabler knew the target would be on his back and as such, mentioned he will not be playing his idol and instead, decided he would play his Shot in the Dark instead. Which Elie obviously thought was a terrible idea, instead telling him that they can’t afford for him to lose his vote and that he needs to pull his head in. With that out of the way, Elie, Jeanine and Owen went off and locked in the vote against Morriah, while Morriah and Sami were locking in their votes against Owen instead. Mainly because Gabler is too unpredictable to be able to trust or target. When the duo caught up with Jeanine and Elie, Elie assured us that while saying she wants to keep women strong, she wanted to focus on tribe strength. And just like that, this female alliance is already looking to be DOA.

At tribal council Sami spoke about how wonderful the vibe was at camp before losing the immunity challenge, ready to ride it out until the final 6 together. Owen agreed things were great, though suggested it instead had more to do with the fact nobody wanted to paint a target on their back. Gabler admitted that while not scrambling earlier could put them at a disadvantage, he is still glad they bonded as a tribe. Oh and then Morriah suggested they were all winners, because they tried. Sami rightly pointed out moral victories don’t keep you in the game, while Elie agreed but suggested they still need to form the right bonds too. Talk then turned to some sort of text analogies – don’t tell Teresa Giudice – before Sami reminded everyone that while they are friends, someone is about to have regrets.

Which obviously meant it was time to vote where Gabler surprisingly kept hold of his Shot in the Dark before Morriah was surprisingly chill to discover that she had become the latest member of the Sonja Christopher club. Or in Drag Race terms, the Porkchop.

As soon as she arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled Morriah in for a massive hug and assured her that while Survivor may not be the best place to make friends, I will always be proud of the positive, kind, spirit that she brought into the game. Within a small tribe situation, it is even harder to navigate the pre-merge section of the game and when everyone is getting along and contributing like the tribe were, it almost becomes a game of lucky dip. And let’s just say, after that little peptalk and a Morriahti Young or two, she was feeling 100 again.

Despite how the kinda clunky name makes it sound, these roti – not raita – are completely delicious. Fresh, fluffy and melt in your mouth, once you’ve tried a roti from scratch, you’ll never go back to pre-bought. Particularly since they are so damn easy!

Enjoy!

Morriahti Young
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
300g flour
½ tsp kosher salt
¼ tsp black pepper, ground
250ml chilled water
30g butter, melted
vegetable oil

Method
Combine the flour, salt and pepper in a large bowl and make a well in the centre. Stir in the water until it all comes together, before transferring to a floured surface and kneading for about 5 minutes.

Split the dough into 8 equal portions and form into balls. Working one at a time, roll a ball to form a 20cm wide disc and brush with some melted butter. Roll into a cigar, then roll parallel to form into a small scroll, kind of like Inception of rolling or a quick laminate of croissants. Now flatten the scroll into a disc and roll back out to form a disc. Repeat the process with the remaining portions.

To cook, pop a heavy skillet over medium heat and brush with the oil. Add the roti and cook for a minute or two, before flipping and cooking for another minute or until golden on both sides and nicely puffed. Repeat with the remaining bread then, obvi, devour.


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Spankie Jacket Potato

Main, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 2, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under, the triplicate of Stan, TVNZ and WoW rustled up the budget to keep us fed with ocker icons for another season as ten new dolls arrived in our quaint Werk Room in Auckland. And boy were they ready to turn a party, FUCK YEAH! To get to know her newest daughters a little better, Ru put them through the one-two punch of a sausage sizzle photoshoot – tragically not in a Bunnings carpark – and had them design outfits using natural materials. Which landed Spankie in the bottom opposite Faux, who found herself becoming the Jojo Zaho of the season.

That stint in the bottom lit a fire under the iconic Spankie who dominated the next few weeks as Aubrey and Pomara found themselves exiting. Greatly improving on the OG Snatch Game, Hannah had a breakout moment as she brought Liza to the stage while the iconic Minnie was felled by Ellen. Because of course she was. 

BAB’Z were then formed – conveniently our final three – and dominated the girl groups challenge, which cost the glorious Yuri her spot in the competition. She was then followed out the door by Beverly and Molly, setting the stage for an epic finale. Despite all three of our finalists giving a branding masterclass, leaning into their strengths and delivering excellence, it was always going to be Spankie that took out the win.

From Chippies to CUM, Spankie was dripping in charisma and shone so brightly, even during her week one stumble. Which is always hard to beat, even if you’re as polished as Hannah and as talented as Kween.

After finishing her prance, I summoned her with a ‘It’s always balmy in Palmy, fuck yeah!’ and pulled her in for a massive hug as I congratulated her on a crown well won. Week after week, she gave comedy and heart and rightly won over the world, and while I didn’t reward her with chippies, she was thrilled to still have a form of potato as we toasted her win with a piping hot Spankie Jacket Potato each.

While not exactly the most polished of meals, there is something so charming and comforting about a jacket potato. Evoking memories of childhood tuckshop, it is so nourishing and delightful. Just like our newest crowned queen (conveniently timed, no?).

Enjoy!

Spankie Jacket Potato
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 large potatoes
2 tsp olive oil
2-4 rashers streaky bacon, diced
1 shallot, sliced
½ cup sour cream
½ cup cheddar cheese, grated

Method
Heat the oven to 200C and rub the potatoes with a little bit of oil. Place on a lined baking sheet and roast for 20 minutes. Reduce to 160C and cook for a further hour or so, or until crisp on the outside and cooked through.

When the potato is almost done, pop a frying pan over medium heat and cook the bacon until crisp and delicious.

To serve, cut a cross into the top and squeeze the sides to form a little cavern, on which you heat the bacon, shallots, sour cream and cheese to taste. And most importantly, devour.


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Karaagween Dong

Main, Poultry, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 2, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under after demolishing the makeover in their own ways – even Hannah, who narrowly made it to the finale over Molly – the top three were tasked with writing their own verses in a rumix and performing it live on the mainstage. In addition to a chat with Ru and Michelle, and a show stopping runway, obviously! Because while we have minimal budget down under, we do stick to the formula. Which is important and counts for something.

Spankie, Hannah and Kween all wisely played to their strengths, proving every step of the way that they are established, polished queens that know exactly who they are. Which made it very difficult for Ru, Michelle and Rhys to name a victor.

Despite showing perfection week after week, Hannah found herself finishing as one of our runners-up, alongside Kween dominated the finale by rapping and flipping her way around the stage. But alas, there could only be one victor and after oozing charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent from the very first moment she appeared on screen, that was rightly Spankie.

As she took her victory prance, I quickly congratulated Hannah before returning to the mainstage to collect Kween to celebrate her run. Evidently, it was a very long prance.

I pulled her off stage and directly into a hug, thanking her for everything she gave us week after week. She (mostly) led with kindness, always trying to elevate and grow, while sharing her heritage with us. And in any other season – or a future All Stars, even – she would easily walk through the competition and collect her crown. But alas, she came up against the charisma machine that is Spankie and as such, had to settle for being a runner-up.

Given she is delightful, she laughed about how happy she was to compete and that she is nothing but proud of Spankie for her win. And happy to be her alternate. Particularly since her commiserations came in the form of a big bowl of Karaagween Dong.

There is honestly nothing better than fresh karaage don. Spiced, crunchy nuggets of chicken on a bed of creamy rice and piled with lemon, mayo and pickled ginger, it is the perfect dish for feeling both regal and iconic.

Enjoy!

Karaagween Dong
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 batch of Josh Karaagate Chicken
300g short grain or sushi rice
½ cup kewpie mayo (or in a pinch, Shayonnaise Swain)
2 shallots, thinly sliced
lemon wedges, to serve

Method
Start by cooking the karaage as per Josh’s recipe.

Next, pour the rice into a sieve and submerge in a bowl of cold water. Swish around and drain, before filling the bowl and repeating the process until the water becomes cloudy and starting over again fresh a couple more times. Pour the rice directly into the bowl, cover with more cold water and leave to soak for half an hour or so. Then drain into the sieve and leave over the bowl or the sink to dry for five minutes.

Pop the rice into a saucepan with 400ml of cold water. Cover, place over medium heat and bring to the boil. After about 30 seconds, reduce heat to medium and simmer for two minutes, before reducing to low and simmer for five minutes. Then crank back up to high for 10 seconds, before removing from the heat and leave to steam for at least 10 minutes before removing the lid.

To serve, divide the rice between bowls, top with karaage, followed by a generous helping of mayo and shallots. Serve with some lemon wedges if handy and then devour.


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Hannah Condahl

Main, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 2, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race Down Under the top four made over members of a single extended family. Despite getting first pick of the Family Zaddy, Molly opted for the Drag Race superfan and while that is often a blessing, the fact that he knew exactly how he wanted to perform, it sadly ended up more of a curse. Kween meanwhile got a chill straight guy, who ended up blossoming under her guidance serving a Wintergreen-esque transformation. Which obviously was enough for her to snatch the win out from Spankie who obviously was just vibing with the uncle from Palmy. That meant a surprisingly lacklustre turn from Hannah meant the hobbit sisters battled in the lip sync and tragically led to Molly poppin’ back to Newie.

Backstage the dolls were sad to have lost sweet Molly, but let’s be honest, all they could really care about is the fact they have officially made it to the end and will get to compete for the crown. Hannah was proud of her run, Kween was confident and ready for the final challenge while Spankie was just an absolute delight and ready to demolish it all. And as a trio, they truly represent us, as Kween said – polished, a slut and a queen of the world. 

The next day the top three returned carrying Kween in, who was gifting us by flashing her goodies, which was just as glorious as watching a little rucap of the season, complete with all of Spankie’s glorious pep talks. Talk turned to Minnie’s penchant for fighting and ugh, I love it. Before Spankie could tell the girls how much she loved them, Ru arrived to announce their final challenge; writing and recording a verse on Ru’s own song Who Is She?, alongside a live performance on the mainstage and spilling the tea with Ru and Michelle (not to be confused with their defunct podcast). Oh and then they would be stomping the Grand Finale Eleganza Extravaganza runway.

After Ru departed, they started listening to the song to write their lyrics. But more importantly, Kween was twerking and yeah, I live. When it comes to her verse, she was planning to bring Megan the Stallion, Spankie would be leaning into her charm and Hannah, well, she was interrupted by a call from Delta Goodrem before we could learn about her plans. As the trio gave Delts a bit of a teaser of their verses, Hannah hilariously pretended she was the one that actually wrote Born to Try. Which adds nothing, but was glorious.

Kween was first to kiki with Ru and Michelle over jaffas – because duh, Down Under – with her opening up about growing up poor and how it created a lot of anxiety that she is still working through. And ugh, watching how she has come into her power is just so damn beautiful. As are dem thighs. Back in the Werk Room Hannah and Spankie were busy beating the statues’ mugs and putting them into drag, which was a scary sight as Kween returned to tag in with Hannah. She opened up to Ru and Michelle about how her parents divorce and the subsequent uncertainty led to her passion for perfection. She shared that her journey in the competition has elevated things and she looks forward to showing that to the world. Spankie rounded out the chats, sharing that she isn’t a fulltime queen and works in childcare during the day, which is ironic given she dresses like a slut. She spoke about how she lost her queer community returning to Palmy, though was so grateful for the experience. Breaking down about how much her kids mean to her.

The top three returned to the mainstage to learn that last season’s fifth place queen – and Spankie’s House of Drag runner-up – Elektra Shock was their choreographer. And well, she didn’t come to play, ready to make sure whoever wins, earns it. Kween obviously knocked it out of the park, Hannah well and truly struggled while Spankie allegedly looked like she was having a fit. And all I’ve got to say is, this and her falling on her arse is a fake out.

Coronation Day arrived with the trio splitting up to beat their mugs, with Kween ready to slay the performance while Hannah opened up about missing her partner before getting out her final letter of encouragement. As she sobbed her way through a live reading, Kween admitted that she too had letters for the competition, joining in the cry fest and well, it was beautiful to see them all rally around each other. Poor Spankie then admitted that she is ready to have another partner and to share her life with someone and ugh, I love her so damn much, crown her already. Hannah was nervous about facing Kween on the stage, while Spankie and Kween were worried about not being as polished as Hannah while Kween felt Spankie’s star power and charisma will be the true thing that is hard to beat.

Ru, Michelle and Rhys took their places on the judges panel as the trio took to the stage to perform their ru-mix of Who Is She? While Hannah gave us a delightful drunk aunt, Spankie dripped charisma all over the stage and hit every damn note, while Kween perfectly spit the rhymes while flipping all around. On the Grand Finale Eleganza Extravaganza runway, Hannah was pretty in purple, oozing regalness and looking stunning. Kween was total perfection in a gilded frond gown in honour of her heritage while Spankie was stunning in an ode to Marilyn Monroe.

The judges were proud of how consistently perfect Hannah was throughout the competition, knowing who she is and elevating it every damn time. Kween meanwhile was praised for finding herself again and for overcoming her inner saboteur, while consistently honouring her culture. Spankie on the other hand was praised for exploding into the competition after bombing the first challenge, and for just bringing so much joy. As she admitted how the competition has given her the feeling of being whole.

When it came to advice for their younger selves, Hannah told herself she was perfect and to simply try her best. Kween reminded herself she is worthy and strong and to learn to embrace all the things that she thinks are weaknesses. Spankie meanwhile was delightful and told herself to be proud, be wild and to do her, because she is enough. Hannah opened up about feeling like she deserves the crown because she wants to spread her magic with as many people as possible. Kween felt drag made herself brave enough to be a role model and by having the crown, she feels like she can help even more people. And then Spankie spoke about how hard she has worked to get here and that she was shocked to have made it to the end, but ready to take it for Palmy.

Backstage the dolls struggled to down their bevvies, reflecting on how much they are going to miss each other. And also how proud they are to have made it all the way.

They returned to the mainstage where they learnt that they would each be lip syncing for the crown, individually, to the singing budgie’s Wow. And well, it was a wow. Kween was obviously perfect, hitting every lyric and owning the stage, Hannah was polished and on point while Spankie was kooky, camp and an absolute delight. So yeah, they pretty much stuck to each of their very strong brands. Kita Mean returned to the stage to bequeath the crown to her heir looking stunning in a pink and purple metallic delight. And said heir, rightly ended up being the winner of House of Drag Season 2, Spankie Mothertuckin’ Jackson.

As Spankie got busy taking her victorious walk, I tapped Hannah on the shoulder – for no other reason than she was closer to me than Kween at the time – and told her we had to go celebrate her run together, in the biblical, culinary sense. I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that her run was perfect and while she didn’t take out the crown, she makes a lovely first-second alternate. And will dominate a future All Stars season, should we ever rustle up enough budget. In the interim, however, she would have to settle for the naming rights to a gloriously warming Hannah Condahl.

While it may not look like a dish worthy of someone as polished and talented, there is something so beautiful about a well made dahl. And that makes this worthy of a finalist.

Enjoy!

Hannah Condahl
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, sliced
5 garlic cloves, minced
2 tbsp madras curry paste
1 cup dried red lentils
3 cups vegetable stock
2 tbsp tomato paste
500g cauliflower, cut into florets
1 cup baby spinach, washed
1 cup frozen peas, thawed
2 tbsp coriander, roughly chopped

Method
Heat the oil in a dutch oven over medium heat. Sweat the onion for a couple of minutes, or until soft and sweet, before stirring in the garlic for a minute, followed by the curry paste. Cook, stirring for a further couple of minutes, or until the kitchen is gloriously fragrant.

It feels a little repetitive but next, stir in the lentils, stock and tomato paste and bring to the boil. Reduce heat to low, cover and simmer for 15 minutes. Next, add in the cauliflower and simmer for a further 10 minutes, or until tender. Followed by the peas and spinach, cooking for a further couple of minutes. Remove from the heat and stir in the coriander. 

Serve piping hot with some naan and yoghurt, and extra coriander if that is your thing. The most crucial part of the process is devouring.


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Alright babes?

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK 4, TV, TV Recap

While another transition of power has taken most of the press this week, Broom and Miselle are jumping back across the pond like Meg and Haz to add to their rival royal dynasty. And you just know, I’ve got big Big Kev energy going.

Aka, yes, I’m excited.

Despite my disappointment that Ella and her meek-ro-wah-vay didn’t get their rightful crown, I was once again willing to drop by and support the dolls. Particularly since if they win four challenges, they don’t get the win and frankly, I’m not laughin’ about it.

Once again, I ventured across (the very large from Australia) pond to help dull the doll’s pain after they’ve been booted from the competition and had their spirits and/or dreams crushed by way of a mid-to-low-quality meal. But, like, made with love. Which counts.

Who will be the first to drop by (disappointed after becoming the Porkchop of their season)? Check back next week for all the deets.

📷: BBC.


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Will we ever top the majesty of the former Mrs. Maryanne Wurtenberger?

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, Survivor, Survivor 43, TV, TV Recap

While I will gladly complain about the entire drop the 4 schtick and the permanent reduction in days – please Probst, I like my traditions sweet angel – I am sitting at an impasse, wondering how we’re ever going to get a more majestic winner than last season’s iconic Maryanne.

I mean, sure, I will fall in love with the latest batch of 18 new castaways Probst and Co. have dumped on a myriad of islands in Fiji to battle it out. But Maryanne was a star. She was messy, she was emotional, she was passionate, she was kind and honestly, she was a damn delight to watch.

I know I’m meant to be here reminding you that yes, I am still on Probst’s personal payroll to provide culinary comfort to the castaways to ease their post-boot pain. But could you imagine a world in which Maryanne had won but four seasons earlier – don’t worry about dropping that one – and competed on Winners at War.

It. Would. Have. Been. AMAZING.

That being said, I have high hopes that if we can still find an icon like her after 42 seasons, we surely will find someone to love in the 43rd. So sit back, relax and enjoy the ride while awaiting my post-boot catch-up/s next week!

Who do you think will be the first one out?

📷: CBS.


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Molly Poppancakes

Breakfast, Main, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 2, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under the top five starred in tourism infomercials to sell their very own home towns. And well, the resulting five infomercials – directed by Suzanne Paul, no less – were vastly different, verging from melancholy to masterpiece, alongside a healthy dose of manic for good measure. Spankie was delightfully demented, Kween went dark but forgot to add the humour, Bev was confusing but appeared to be having fun, Molly gave drunk chick realness and Hannah gave us pure cinema. Obviously it led to Bev and Kween landing in the bottom and TBH, I’m glad it did because they turned the best lip sync in Down Under history. And while Bev went home, after that performance, it was on a very high note!

Backstage the dolls toasted Bev’s run in the competition and shared how proud Brisbane would be, which yeah, we are. Kween meanwhile was grateful for the journey and to be able to turn the lip sync, though was not planning to do it again until the crown. Which, as usual, is foreshadowing right? Molly asked Spankie how it felt given everyone that is eliminated seems to be leaving messages telling her they are rooting for her. Which obviously made her feel damn great, admitting it means the world to her that they feel loved, while Kong admitted that she too is team Spankie given she is so lovely and helpful. But make no mistake, she also wants to win. As do Hannah and Molly who showed off their aunty moves to prove it.

The next day the top four were thrilled to be lining up for the second last challenge, while Molly was frankly shocked to have made it this far. Particularly over Minnie and Yuri, who they all agreed are each icons in their own ways. They then got a call from zaddy – and recently minted Emmy winner – Murray Bartlett who dropped some hints for this week’s Maxi Challenge, the makeover. Which was quickly confirmed by Broom when we arrived with a super fan, his father, cousin and uncle and TBH, all of them could choke me. In any event, the family would be joining each of the dolls’ drag families. With the duos decided by a game of scissors, paper, rock, with Molly first to make her choice, opting for Keelan the superfan. Kween went with cousin Tyler, Hannah opted for Tony the dad(dy), leaving Spankie with Uncle Paul.

Molly and her new sister were vibing and living their best life, with her quickly kikiing about the dolls while Kween looked on, grateful she would have someone that didn’t already have all the energy. Hannah and Tony meanwhile became the fastest of friends, learning that three of his sons are gay and that he was ready to get the biggest titties possible. Spankie then learnt that he was partnered with a fellow Palmy local, and while Paul knew they had to work hard to get Spankie to the end, sweet Spanks just wanted her to have fun. Kween meanwhile was partnered with the chillest, sweet guy and given they have similar builds and personalities, condragulations Kween, I was right about the foreshadowing. And though her partner was ready to break down some barriers, he was scared of breaking his ankle in the heels.

Which the youngens mastered – unintentional death drops be damned – while the older generation seemed to struggle. Though given Spankie almost stacked it in the walking showcase too, who actually knows what will happen. 

Ru returned to kiki with the new families, with Molly and Keelan going for a bit of sweet and sour while Molly just hoped to keep up with her new sister’s energy. Keelan opened up about how lovely his family are and damn, I want to hug Tony. Speaking of him, he and Hannah charmed the hell out of Ru who then gave Tony some tips about walking in heels. Spanks and Paul were living their slut dream and made Ru even happier than Tony, and I’m so ready for this. Kween and Tyler meanwhile were a little subdued, but damn Kween is in her element and ready to slay. And you know Tyler is going to be feeling her oats, though needed to sell everything in her eyes.

After Ru exited, Molly started to grow nervous about Kween and Tyler who were clearly coming together perfectly. Particularly since Keelan kinda-sorta hated her outfit and wanted to slut it up a little more, making Molly’s life quite hard. Spankie too was struggling to make all the alterations required to pull together Paul’s look, making her terrified about landing in the bottom again. Which was heartbreaking as she started to cry.

Elimination Day rolled around with Tyler spending the night before practising his walk, while Keelan was taking notes for where she and Molly can improve. They then received another call, this time from Norvina from Anastasia Beverly Hills. After that commercial, the duos split up to start getting ready with Tyler nervous about letting down Kween, leading to Kween going into Spankie territory and giving the most beautiful pep talk and well, they are totally winning. Right? Spankie and Paul meanwhile bonded over family, with Spankie admitting she moved back to Palmy when her father was given six months left to live and while he is still alive and well, he is grateful he was able to build a stronger relationship with his father. Which is essentially what Paul did for his own father, with the duo breaking down and becoming the best of friends.

And. I. Live.

Molly meanwhile was ready to give Kween the win, given Tyler looked like a woman and well, she had run out of time to get her and Keelan into drag. With Keelan then trying to pull a Spankie and Kween by giving her a pep talk.

Ru, Michelle and Rhys took their places on the panel as Kween Kong introduced Sister Kong on the Opposites Attract runway, serving angel and demon and well, Tyler SLAYED. Molly Poppinz and Kandy Flippinz were a camp delight as Kandy lived her best life. Spankie and Flash Jackzon gave pizzeria realness, now with pineapple – WHICH IS ALWAYS WELCOME ON ANY GOOD PIZZA – and they looked so cute together. Hannah and Elle Gator gave mediaeval, regal realness and were oh, so beautiful.

Kween and Sister received universal praise, particularly given how much Tyler was living for how beautiful she looked. Kween opened up about how wonderful her week was, while Tyler was proud of how much fun he had. And I assume, for doing THAT. Molly and Kandy were praised for giving sweet and sour, while Michelle couldn’t understand the narrative of their runway. Keelan opened up about how jealous she is of how good her family looks and for how much fun they were. Spankie and Flash were praised for giving sexy and having fun, though Spankie obviously had the better mug. Spankie opened up about how close she felt to Paul and ugh, I love it. Hannah and Elle were praised for their vibe and how beautiful Tony looked, while Michelle and Ru lavished praise on Tony for how much of a wonderful parent he is and ugh, of course I’m crying.

Backstage the duos toasted their success with Kealan so happy for the experience, while Tyler felt like it was a powerful, transformative experience. Everyone then lavished each other with praise, talking about how grateful they are for the experience. Hannah then started to break down, feeling like it would be her and Molly lip syncing tonight leading to everyone having a tear, desperately hoping that nobody would be eliminated instead.

Obviously Kween took out her second win of the season – Tyler is the new Wintergreen, right? – while Spankie was deemed safe, tragically leaving the self-proclaimed hobbit twins to lip sync. Just as was foreshadowed, and then expected. And while Hannah was threatening to go the park and bark route, she turned Heartbreak in This City by Steps and Michelle Visage, using every corner of the stage and hitting every lyric. And while Molly also turned it, I feel like Ru fell back on the track records and sent Hannah through to the finale, tragically eliminating the delightful Molly Poppinz.

Going out just before the final is always a bitter pill to swallow, but given Molly is such a sweet delight, she took it all in stride. I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her she had a wonderful run on the competition and truly got to show how kind and funny she is. In addition to serving some killer looks. And while she was felled at the near-final hurdle, she is the perfect kind of star to go out and snatch an All Stars crown. With that, she was well and truly perked up, which is convenient, given you can’t be sad ahead of eating a big stack of Molly Poppancakes.

Before brunch became a thing, pancakes at home were well and truly my favourite weekend treat. Fluffy, pillowy discs of carby goodness, drizzled with a heaping of maple syrup, honey or lemon and sugar. Whatever your choice of topping, pancakes are always a win.

Enjoy!

Molly Poppancakes
Serves: 2 dear hobbit friends (which I can say, given I’m built like the hobbit queens).

Ingredients
1 ¾ cup milk
2 eggs
1 ½ tsp vanilla extract
2 cups flour
⅓ cup raw caster sugar
1 tbsp baking soda
½ tsp kosher salt
butter, for fryin’ (and servin’ too, obvi)
your fave condiments, to serve

Method
Whisk the wet ingredients together in a measuring jug and combine the dry in a large bowl. Make a well in the centre and slowly whisk in the wet ingredients until the batter is just combined.

To fry, pop a large skillet over medium heat. Once nice and hot, add a bit of butter to the pan and spread across as it melts. Pour about ¼-½ cup of batter into the pan and cook for two minutes, or until bubbles start to form, pop and hold their shape on the top. Flip and cook for a further minute or two, or until they are cooked through. Transfer to a plate to keep warm and repeat the process until done.

Serve immediately with butter and your favourite topping, before devouring, in the triumphant melancholy only carbs can fix.


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Baoverly Buns Kills

Main, Poultry, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 2, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under the dolls formed girl groups and while the producers tragically opted against keeping costs down and getting the girls to talk about their tight tucks, it did work out for the best as it was absolute fire. Like the first season of UK, one team absolutely molly wopped – not whomp, which I just learnt was different and something I would love TBH – while the other team had a Cheryl trying to hold them up. While Spankie took out her third win, Hannah her second and Kween her first, Beverly was the aforementioned Cheryl on the losing group, which tragically resulted in the elimination of my fave – and total baby zaddy – Yuri.

Backstage everyone was rallying around an emotional Molly, who had been expecting to the one going home. She toasted Yuri for being such a hard worker before Spankie stepped in and gave a beautiful speech about just how great Yuri is and reiterated that she belongs, while she (and I) sobbed. And ugh, just crown Spankie this instant, you cowards!

The next day the girls were still feeling their girl group oats, though fearful that Minnie was also lingering in the rafters, ready to start a feud at any moment. Kween meanwhile apologised for bringing the room down last week, though stopped short of apologising to Beverly specifically for fighting. She felt she was most disappointed in the fact she was so frustrated that she straight up missed the chance to toast Yuri and remind her how proud she is. This led to Bev instead apologising to her and while they hugged it out, I feel like things are still tense.

Ru interrupted things to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge they would be filming tourism infomercials promoting their hometown. As they split up to come up with a plan, Hannah locked in Perth while Molly was going to lean into Newcastle, given it is where she and Rhys are both from. Bev meanwhile opened up about being like me, starting on the GC before moving to Brisbane while Spankie was proudly going to rep Palmerston North and smalltown life. Kween meanwhile opened up to Hannah and Spankie about how much she is struggling with her depression, while everyone rallied around and vowed to always be there for each other. And ugh, I love seeing it!

My fellow Tweed local Samantha Harris then dialled in to advise them how to sell shit and while it didn’t add much, she is Tweed Breed 4 Lyf like me, so you all should stan.

Ru made her ru-turn to the Werk Room to kiki with the dolls, cutting down all of Spankie’s ideas and telling her to highlight the best part of Palmerston North, herself. Beverly then dropped by and well, let’s just say I’m not mad, just disappointed, that she has never watched Muriel’s Wedding. The cinematic celebration of TWEED HEADS. Is this the Tweed showcase episode?! While Ru just wanted to find out who Beverly is, Kween was told to bring the fun, Hannah was told to be less serious and well, Molly’s version of Newcastle was quote-unquote, sad.

Done dropping bombs, Ru exited stage left as they started to get ready while Beverly asked her sisters for advice on how to show more of her personality. With Hannah jumping in with suggestions before Bev even finished her sentence, while Kween joined in with more advice that Bev felt was aggressive. As such, she started to spiral leading to another epic pep talk from Spankie in the rack of costumes and again, if Spankie doesn’t win, we riot.

Kween was up first to film with Michelle Visage and down under icon Suzanne Paul and well, she was a little boring. But given the pit crew are hot, I loved it. Spankie meanwhile slayed as the drunk aunty wandering through town on her way home from a night out. Hannah arrived looking stunning and was so organised, prepared and most importantly, bonkers, that I live for her. Molly meanwhile was sexed up, demented and a little confused, but Michelle and Suzanne were having fun together and that is all that matters. Oh and then Bev was living for her concept hunting for a sugar daddy as a lesbian Irwin. And well, I love the shoot portion if nothing else, because Bev was fun.

Elimination Day arrived with Beverly opening up about the fact she has realised that she is still trying to find herself and that that, combined with her family’s drive for success has made it difficult for her to just be. Talk then turned to the girls’ families, with Kween opening up about how her oldest sister died the year she was undergoing her gender confirmation and how she is living with the regret of not getting to know her or support her on her journey. She then immediately pivoted and encouraged everyone to do what they love as it makes them happy. And that is the sweet Kween Kong that I know and love.

Michelle, Rhys and Ru took their places as Kween opened the Swimsuit Edition runway giving oceanic goddess realness. Spankie was sex on legs as Pamela Anderson’s older sister, Molly was a stunning Meter Maid – complete with high-beams – while Hannah was a confection in a bright, mod delight while Beverly gave another Meter Maid, this time with a ruveal AND coins.

When it came to the commercials, Kween’s was silly and demented though the judges wanted it to be more funny funny and less dark humour. Though they loved her runway.  Oh and then Ru gave an epic monologue about internalised homophobia AND daddy issues, which was amazing. Spankie was up next with a gloriously deranged commercial that confused the shit out of everyone, meaning it was perfection. And then add in her Baywatch moment and well, it was a good week for Spankie. Molly’s ad meanwhile was classic bogan Australian and I love it and sadly, feel like I’ve lived it. Multiple times. Hannah’s ad was camp perfection, telling a story and was so damn smart. I mean, she fought a black swan AND exploded. Oh and they loved her pivoting on the runway and standing out in all the right ways. Bev meanwhile lived her Irwin fantasy, though kinda fell flat by being so polished rather than showing her messiness. 

Ru opted to get messy and asked the dolls to identify who should go home with everyone opting for Bev due to her track record, while Bev instead felt Kween’s commercial was the weakest. Adding that her track record wasn’t much better than her, either.

Backstage Bev was heartbroken to be the one everyone named, despite understanding why they called her out. Hannah once again cut her off and encouraged her to stop being so in her head and instead just be. And while Hannah felt she was being encouraging and trying to push her to be better, Bev cut her off and started to sob. Once again Spankie gave her a pep talk and helped lift her back up, encouraging her to swear at Hannah all she wanted. Which she sadly opted against, instead choosing to practice the lip sync since she was totally in the bottom.

Ultimately Molly and Spankie – ROBBED – were sent to safety as Hannah joined the triple winners club with Spanks. Which obviously left Kween to face off against Beverly to Ru’s very own The Beginning. And damn, did the dolls turn a show. Like I know I say that a lot, but it was actually WILD. There was almost a collision within the first three bars, they were flipping and spinning every second line, backwards AND forwards, hitting every lyric and oftentimes in complete synchronicity. I mean, if ever there was a time for a double shantay, it was now, because this was amazing. Like a gymnastics version of Alyssa and Tatianna. Sadly though, somebody had to go – apparently – as Kween was sent to safety, sending my fellow Bris-babe Bev out of the competition.

While Bev went through a lot of emotion this week, she held her head high as she returned to the Werk Room. I pulled her in for a massive hug and tried to give her my very best Spankie impersonation, reminding her that she is a star and has all of her career to figure out who she is, so to just believe in herself and have fun. Because spoiler alert, she is already a massive success. Which thankfully got through to her, allowing us to laugh and cry, as we reminisced about the glory of the GC and Brisvegas (and I firmly explained the importance of watching Muriel’s Wedding) before smashing some glorious Baoverly Buns Kills.

It is no secret that I passionately and ardently love both a porkie – praise be, Benedict – and baos, but this little duck number is just a little bit better than the rest. Rich, sweet and a little bit fresh, the flavours dance over your palate as expertly as Bev in a lip sync.

PHOTO 2

Baoverly Buns Kills
Serves: 4

Ingredients
8 buns Bret LaBao Buns
¼ tsp salt
1 tsp light soy sauce
1 tsp shaoxing wine
¼ tsp Chinese five spice
4 boneless duck breasts
1 tbsp vegetable oil
⅔ cup hoisin sauce, plus extra for drizzlin’
¼ cup kewpie mayo
2 lebanese cucumbers, cut into lengths
2 shallots, sliced
¼ cup coriander, leaves torn

Method
Prepare the baos as per Bret’s recipe. Combine the salt, light soy, shaoxing and five spice powder in a bowl and rub into the duck. Transfer to a plate, leaving the skin up to dry for an hour or so.

When you’re ready to cook, pop the oil in a heavy based skillet over medium heat and once nice and hot, pop the breasts in the pan, skin side down and cook for about 10 minutes, agitationg frequently, or until crispy and the fat had rendered out.

Drain most of the fat and flip the breasts and cook for another 10 minutes or so, or until cooked through. Remove the duck and leave to rest for a couple of minutes. Shred the duck and return to the pan with the hoisin and toss to combine.

To assemble, smear mayo on the baoss, layer with some cucumber and shallots, top with a heaping of duck, a drizzle of hoisin and some coriander. Then, devour.


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Tarragon Chickian Vanderpuss

Canada's Drag Race 3, Canada’s Drag Race, Main, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the top six gave us a late-breaking rusical in honour of the iconic girls trip movies of the ‘10s. And while everyone was solid, given it is so close to the end, it was the back-up dancers showing their buns that stole the show. Well, the buns AND Vivian who absolutely devoured the performance and finally secured her first, very well-deserved victory of the season. Tragically while one half of my heart was shining, the other one faded as Irma landed in the bottom opposite Giselle. And in my opinion, was sent home solely for having the weaker track record. On paper.

Backstage Vivian was disappointed that her shining moment coincided with her bestie going home. Same, girl, same. As they read Irma’s farewell message, Fiercalicious grew annoyed that yet another queen was rooting for Vivian to take out the win before she departed. Which, obviously. As the dolls sat down, they praised Giselle for absolutely slaying the lip sync which led to Vivian realising she is now the only one to not have to do so in an adorable little humble brag. Oh and then Fiercalicious and Kimmy started shading each other, but thankfully it stopped before they stumbled into real feud territory again. I think, because these icons love to pop off.

The next day the top five were exhausted after the rusical, though ready to push through to make it through to the end. They spoke about how diverse they are as performers and how they have each brought something different to the competition, while Vivian worried what Fiercalicious would do once she developed pores. Brad dropped by to reward the dolls with some video messages from their family with Giselle’s boyfriend being super cute, while more importantly, their dog Vicky is absolutely gorgeous, as Giselle – and I – started to sob. Kimmy’s mum is a sweet, perfect angel who must be protected at all costs, Vivian’s dad is the most adorable, energetic, kind man and I live for him, while Jada’s bestie Baby Bel Bel gave her a delicious pep talk and Fiercalicious’ mum was so gentle and lovely that I just want to give her a hug.

With everyone’s hearts nice and full, Brad announced that this week they’d be going big with the challenge by throwing a Masquerade Ball. The first category would be Masc for Mascara, then they would stomp the Incog-she-to runway followed by walking in a designed outfit that is inspired by five masks. And since Vivian took out the last challenge, she got to give them to her sisters, this time matching them with ones that she thinks they will excel at.

Everyone split up to get to work on their outfits, with Fiercalicious very nervous about having to sew a look while Vivian and Giselle were thrilled to be the only sewers left. Team Glue Guns meanwhile were busy shading each other while Giselle tried to help out her sisters where she could. Which was 99% of the time. When focusing on herself however, she was planning to go big and dramatic in her look while Jada was just shocked that she was sewing. Brad returned to kiki with the dolls about their looks, with Fiercalicious confident in her workmanship (once she goes from the machine to the glue gun, obvi). Kimmy was sewing against type by giving a dramatic gown, rather than a bra and panty combo, Jada meanwhile was playing it safe with Brad cautioning that she needs to give them more while Vivian was struggling to edit down her look and to give it polish. While Giselle was reminded to focus on her own outfit first, like oxygen on a plane.

After Brad exited, Vivian put the advice to work and decided to whip up some statement pants, while Giselle ran into disaster as she tried to line her gown WITH SHEETS OF GLUE. And let’s just say, it did not like the steamer. Jada too was on the struggle bus as she discovered she hadn’t left a head hole in her gown, while Kimmy questioned her ruffle choice and instead tried to Kaos her gown with cardboard shards.

Elimination Day arrived as the dolls spoke about the importance of ball culture in educating and leading the way for the LGBTQIA+ community. It then took a very heavy turn towards consent when Kimmy opened up about how often she, and all trans women in general, are sexually assaulted. Which visibly shocked all of her sisters as they rallied around her and reiterated how strong and powerful she is and thanked her for being some open with them. And ugh, the dolls are just so damn loving and beautiful, despite how often they have brought the drama this season! 

Brooke, Brad and Traci were joined on the panel by Lesley Hampton before Giselle opened the Masc for Mascara runway giving sexy Gaultier sailor, Kimmy was a gloriously regal king, complete with nipple tassles, Fiercalicious was PERFECTION in mint with a pink beard and wig in honour of Mathieu Anderson. Vivian was a gorgeous, androgynous camp delight, while Jada looked like Cruella de Vil’s pimp boyfriend. On the Incog-she-to runway, Giselle went from school girl to glamazon showgirl, Kimmy went from anonymous profile on Grindr to club kid clown, Fiercalicious went from glamorous villager to golden Josephine Baker, Vivian went from chef to Italian vixen while Jada went from evil queen to shimmering fairy.

When it came to their Masquerade Eleganza, Giselle was stunning in a glamorous Cinderella gown – minus the unfinished hem – Kimmy was a carnival delight, Fiercalicious was stunning in a purple velvet gown, Vivian was a glamorous Sandy Olsen on the way to the ball while Jada was all drama is a stunning black gown with golden ruffles. Giselle was praised for giving three vastly different looks, despite a clunky reveal in the second category and the fact she didn’t hem such a perfectly designed look. Kimmy received universal praise for wearing pants in the first runway and looking stunning in the other looks (despite not making much sense, obvi). Fiercalicious received universal praise for knocking each and every look out of the park, Vivian was praised for the vibe she brought, despite Brooke wanting her to stop hiding behind the camp on the runway and to bring more drama in the designed look. While Jada gave us the Meatloaf treatment, aka two out of three were winners while her Incog-She-to was read for not bringing enough of a reveal.

Oh and then Brooke announced that this was the final elimination, as this year, they would be having a top four!

Backstage the dolls were gagged by Brooke’s pre-exit announcement that there is only one more week of the competition, while the hot glue girls were shocked that one of them is likely to win the challenge. Well, were shocked, until they started to bicker amongst themselves over who used less glue. Vivian meanwhile was well and truly in her feels given the judges felt she didn’t give them enough drama, while Kimmy was accepting of her designed look being read for filth, though was pissed about the rest. They one thing they could both agree on, is that neither wanted to lip sync against their sister.

Ultimately it was Fiercalicious that took out her second win of the season, while Giselle and Jada were sent to safety, leaving Kimmy and Vivian to battle for safety. Just as they expected. As soon as Ctrl, Alt, Dlt by Rev kicked off, the dolls were ready to fight. Kimmy was a full on showgirl, hitting every lyric and nailing everything. Vivian meanwhile was camp, high energy with a little bit of edge and well, it was perfect. Sadly, not perfect enough for her to make it through to the finale as Kimmy was saved and my love Vivian exited the competition.

And well, I was not happy about it. She followed the sound of my wailing screams and heaving tears to find me backstage cutting up Brooke’s wardrobe and wigs in an act of revenge for breaking my heart two weeks in a row. Vivian being a delightful cat-mom, she gently pulled me in for a hug and assured me that everything will be ok and she is happy with making it to the top five. Her calm soothing presence was enough to talk me off the edge, allowing me to pivot into the bargaining phase of grief by demanding she and Irma live out my dream for them to become the Canadian version of Trixie and Katya. Which she agreed to, but maybe that was because she was starving for some Taragon Chickian Vanderpuss.

Rich, creamy and packing a herbaceous punch, this comforting main is the perfect winter meal. The tarragon perfectly cuts through the creaminess to dance across your palate alongside the earthiness of the chicken. Just like our sweet Vivian in a rusical.

Enjoy!

PHOTO 2

Tarragon Chickian Vanderpuss
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 tsp olive oil
4 shallots, sliced
3 garlic cloves, minced
½ tsp dried tarragon
2 chicken breasts
80ml dry vermouth
½ tsp sea salt
60ml double cream
pepper, to taste
1 tbsp fresh tarragon, roughly chopped

Method
Place the oil in a frying pan with a lid over medium heat and cook the shallots, garlic and dried tarragon for a couple of minutes, or until the kitchen is nice and fragrant. Push it to one side and add the chicken breasts, smooth side down and cook for five minutes or so. Flip and immediately pour over the vermouth. Allow to bubble up for a minute before sprinkling over the salt. Reduce heat to low, pop on the lid and allow to cook for 10-15 minutes, or until cooked through.

Remove the chicken to a plate and cover with foil. Bring the juices to the boil, stir in the cream and add a good whack of pepper and the fresh tarragon. 

Serve the chicken immediately on a bed of rice or mashed potato, followed by a generous drizzle of sauce and some fresh tarragon. Then devour, like the winner you should be.


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