Previously on Australian Survivor after the tragic loss of Cirie the night before, the final three were delighted to wake up on the beach to find their celebratory final three breakfast. Parvati was conflicted, proud of playing such a dominant game, but disappointed to not have her soulmate sitting alongside her at the end. After fuelling for final tribal council, the trio congratulated each other on playing such strong games and shared how grateful they were to become friends along the way. Which tragically is the win Janine had to settle for, as she was completely shut out of final tribal council and finished in third place.
Rewinding back to after opening statements, Lisa kicked off the Q&A portion of the game, talking about how much of a superfan she is, because Survivor just makes her happy, so her question was asking Luke to tell her what makes him happy about Survivor. He talked about how much he loves living in the jungle and catching crabs, and that it makes him as happy as Parv and Janine must be to be sitting next to him. Cirie asked Parvati why she was so upset to see Cirie’s torch get snuffed, with Parvati breaking down in tears again, talking about how miraculous it is to be as close as she is to Cirie and how she would do anything to give Cirie a shot in the end, because she took a shot from her in Micronesia. And she wanted it so badly for Cirie.
Tommi asked Parvati if she ever intended to play with him, with Parvati talking about being World strong at the merge. But when he followed it up, she laughed and said, well, she could tell he was close with Lisa and Kass, and as such, she invested her time with World, then the women and not necessarily Tommi. Luke joked that he wanted to work with Tommi, leading him to ask Luke why he should vote for someone that spoke about being Aussie strong all season. Luke defended himself, telling Tommi that he was ready to flip to the World players, alongside Shonee, blaming not being taken on the spa reward as the reason for opting out and joining Janine to work with Cirie and Parv, rather than forming a majority with them. As he played a calm game this time, rather than bouncing around each vote.
Kass pointed out that they needed four votes to win, so asked Parvati who she thinks would vote for her and why. She pointed out that she and Kass were fierce rivals all season, so she assumed Kass would vote for her, because she would if the tables were turned. She felt Lisa and Cirie would also vote for her, and she was hopeful that Kirby would also reward her. As she was also in control of all the votes, despite having the biggest target on her back from Day 1. Sarah meanwhile asked Janine to clarify her very loyal game, given she was the reason that (stoked the flames that) broke up the Aussies. Which led to Luke laughing about it being Janine, while Sarah pointed out that her alleged flawless game clearly had a flaw, as she played herself into the minority. Janine explained that she felt she had to pick between the two of them, as Sarah doubled down, saying that was not the time. Repeatedly. And her messiness made it a harder path to the end for her and Luke. Janine then pointed out that she never actually knew Kirby was voting for Sarah, and when the jurors argued semantics between them, it was kind of iconic.
Shonee asked Luke when he felt the most vulnerable, with him mentioning just after Kass had been voted out and how desperately he wanted to win immunity. He spoke about how convincing Parvati to rip up her advantage only benefitted his game, with her interjecting that not playing the advantage was the power, as it guaranteed her a final four, which was better than just getting another idol. Kirby wrapped things up, talking about how much she desperately wanted to play with Parvati, as two queens side by side. Parv agreed that she really wanted to work with her and she believed her, 100%, however she already had a solid alliance and as such, she had to go with the move that had momentum, when it was clear she couldn’t change their minds. And while she wanted to save her with her idol, she knew that she had to be smart and keep her idol for herself and set up her end game.
Parvati then reiterated that she was on the right side of every single vote, as she either knew about every plan, or came up with it. Despite being the biggest target in the game, she didn’t even have her name written down once, which is frankly unbelievable. With that the jury voted – Cirie and Tommi proclaiming Parvati the greatest Survivor player of all time, to boot – and after a single vote for Luke – from Sarah – the rest of them piled up on Parvati, handing her the win. And proving her the ultimate champion.
Luke was understandably heartbroken to finish in second place, though I pulled him in for a hug and congratulated on playing such a strong game. While I would argue Janine did a bunch of the heavy lifting, Luke has grown each time he has played the game, and this season he expertly delivered flashy moves and went toe to toe with the best in the form of Parvati, while also building relationships with everyone on the island and laying low as required. It was impressive, just not as impressive as the masterclass we witnessed from the third two-time winner. Though impressive enough to toast being runner-up with a piping hot bowl of Luke Discoki Fries.
While this is kind of like a bogan poutine, like Luke, the fries are so charming, you can’t help but like them. Better yet, they are way easier to make. Crunchy chips, gooey mozzarella and gravy, sign me up.
Enjoy!
Luke Discoki Fries Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 batches Jud Beerza Battered Fries 4 tbsp unsalted butter 2 shallots, minced 3 garlic cloves, minced sea salt and pepper ¼ cup flour 3 cups beef stock 2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce 250g mozzarella, grated parsley, for serving
Method Cook the fries per Jud’s recipe until they are golden and crunchy.
While that is happening, melt the butter in a saucepan over medium heat and saute the shallots and garlic for a couple of minutes. Season with a good whack of salt and pepper, before adding in the flour and cooking, stirring, for a further couple of minutes. Reduce heat to low and slowly whisk in the stock, followed by the Worcestershire. Season as required, and simmer for 5 minutes, or until rich and thickened.
To serve, pop your seasoned fries into a bowl and top with mozzarella, before pouring over the gravy. Sprinkle with parsley before devouring, greedily.
As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram.
Previously on Australian Survivor Shonee was the odd one out in the final five, with the duos of Luke and Janine, and Parvati and Cirie locked and loaded to head to the final four together, despite the inherent risk of someone going out by fire. Which she expertly tried to remind everyone of, before turning her attention to making Janine’s real world success and highlighting that a professional keynote speaker is probably not the person you want to head to the end against. At the immunity challenge, our Queen Shonee, valiantly fought to earn her place in the top four, however the wind had other ideas, blowing over her stack and allowing Luke to score his third win. At tribal council Luke was torn between staying firm or making a wild move, so after Parvati pulled out her hidden immunity, he handed his immunity off to Janine after making her promise to let him go to fire. He then pulled out his idol and while he was tempted to play it for Shonee, he and Parv awkwardly played their idols for each other as Shonee was shown the door.
To reiterate, breaking the heart of the nation in the process.
Given it is the finale, we got a lovely Parvati confessional about how spicy the game has been from the start and that she feels like she has had to earn her place each and every day. Cirie was overwhelmed by just how tough the Aussies played the game, while Luke was thrilled to prove himself the King of the Jungle once again. And while Janine wasn’t given a cold-open confessional, she is a legend and, one assumes, was ready to dominate this ‘ere finale.
The next day Parvati went for a swim in the ocean, talking about how much she wanted to make up for her loss in Samoa 15 years earlier, putting it down to a bitter jury. Plus, this is her best game yet, not even securing a vote despite being a target from day one. Before she spoke about how grateful she is to still have her Survivor soulmate by her side. Cirie too was thrilled to still have Parvati in the game, knowing that she can easily secure the win as the undisputed best to never win. If she makes it to the end. The only thing that concerned her, however, was how Luke would perform in front of a jury, because she was rather confident that he could be a threat. So much so, that the girls were grateful to have Janine agree to vote with them to take him out. While Janine assured us that the only way she is turning on Luke is if it comes down to the two of them.
Luke meanwhile was feeling rather emotional, given he was voted out in fourth – as our first male Fourth Place Robbed Goddess – last time he played five years ago, and he was now ready for his redemption. He was proud of having fought from the bottom all game, and was hopeful that his relationship with Janine would be enough to at least give him the shot at fire.
If he doesn’t win immunity, of course.
After a supercut of the iconic, torturous final immunity challenges of yore, the final four met JLP by the shore where four giant devices stood. He explained that they would each stand on narrow pegs holding heavy weights, moving onto narrower pegs as they go, with the last person standing jagging final immunity and guaranteeing their place in the final tribal council. Everyone appeared to be pretty uncomfortable straight out of the gate, except for Parvati, who was frankly just vibing. After half an hour Cirie fell off after valiantly trying to save herself. At the one hour mark, JLP made the rest of them move onto narrower pegs, which really dialled up the pain and saw Janine lose her spot. Luke continued to struggle like every straight man in a reformer class, as Parvati stood like a statue. While that was happening, Janine and Cirie started to gossip, with Cirie confirming that Janine needs to stick with them, unless she wants to go to fire. As Luke willed Parvati to slip, she assured him that this is 100% her challenge and she will take out immunity. At the 90 minute mark they moved to the narrowest pegs and while they both made the transition, it wasn’t long before Luke finally lost his place in the challenge, handing Parvati immunity and a spot in the final tribal council. Her first final immunity win to boot!
Parvati was in tears, Luke could barely move and ugh, seeing them all support each other was honestly so lovely to watch.
Back at camp Parvati turned her attention to making sure Cirie would sit in the final three with her, as the duo giggled about sharing breakfast together tomorrow. Parvati pointed out that if Luke made it to the final tribal council, they’re all in trouble. As much trouble as Cirie will be if she has to make fire against Luke, so they just had to make sure Janine voted with them. While that was happening, Janine and Luke were busy pledging their undying loyalty to each other, with Luke extremely hopeful that Janine would make good on her promise and at least give him his opportunity at fire.
Cirie arrived and pulled her aside to talk through their options, with her reiterating that Luke is the most likely to win out of everyone left and as such, getting rid of him is their only shot. And while I am confident that Parvati and Cirie played the better game, I will let the argument slide. While Janine debated about whether she wanted to keep her word, or improve her chances of winning. Improve being the operative word, as I believe she doesn’t think she wins against anyone, so is likely to just go with the option to help whoever she is closest to. But I digress.
At tribal council the jury were delighted to see Parvati wearing immunity as she spoke about how special this season has been for her, because everyone has been so lovely and played so hard. She admitted that she would love to pull out the victory and take the crown back the US, though the season has clearly not come down to tribal lines post merge, as they’ve been focused on playing the game at the highest level. Luke admitted that he was rather nervous tonight, and was hoping he and Janine could stay Aussie strong one final time. Janine spoke about needing to play for herself but that the lines have blurred, because she knows how important it is to have the right people against her.
Parvati spoke about how desperately she would love to have Cirie at the end with her as this game has been all about redemption, with Cirie agreeing that she would love to make it to the end after almost 20 years playing the game. As she’d love to finally retire. After Parvati and Cirie agreed that they would be voting together, Janine spoke about feeling like either way, she would be disappointing someone tonight. And sometimes you need to stop thinking, and just go with what you promised. With that the tribe voted and despite her assurance that she would be with them, Janine stuck with Luke, tying things up and forcing Luke and Cirie into fire.
They took their places behind their stations, with Parvati quickly getting to work coaching Cirie as they started scraping magnesium. As expected, Luke was the first to get a flame and following Sarah’s lead, rocked it into a fire as he tried to light kindling. It all fell apart as the jury started to squirm as Cirie finally jagged a flame. She slowly started to build a fire as Luke desperately tried to rebuild his, which he did, just as Cirie’s disappeared. Luke’s fire then collapsed, as Shonee told him to chill, while Cirie calmly worked away and built a healthy fire. She and Luke continued to feed their fires in the hope it would be big enough to burn through the rope and ugh, it was honestly so damn stressful as they both came so close so many times. Ultimately, though, Luke was first to burn through the rope, earning his spot in final tribal council and sending Cirie out of the game.
By fire. At four. Once again. As she, Lisa and every single fan cried. While fate decided to play the cruellest joke, as her flame burnt through the rope as she spoke about her journey with JLP. Though vowed she will never lose fire making again. The one bit of solace I take, is that she now also holds the distinction of being the final torch snuffed by JLP, and honestly, that feels right for both of the icons.
Seeing Cirie’s latest game end the same way her first one did was truly gutwrenching, so she followed my rage screams all the way to the Jury Villa where I leaped into her arms and cried for so long that we almost missed the final tribal council. Thankfully I can now share – as you already know – that she was able to make me stop crying by letting me know that this definitely won’t be happening to her on Survivor 50, as she will employ Luke and Sarah to train her every day until she flies out with Probst and Co. And while it didn’t take away all the pain, it did fill me with a little bit of hope. As did the knowledge that she earned another iconic game placement, as the Fourth Place Robbed Goddess of the season. And that is always worthy of a celebratory Shirazirie Fields Salad.
To quote Pride and Prejudice and The Simpsons once again, it is a fact universally acknowledged that you don’t make friends with salad. Which is actually why I chose to make this for Cirie, as she is so damn likeable, she would never need to rely on food to make friends. Buuutttttttt, if she did, this salad is the final exception to the rule. It packs a massive punch of herbs and citrus, it would have anyone coming back for more.
Enjoy!
Shirazirie Fields Salad Serves: 4.
Ingredients 3 roma tomatoes, diced 2 lebanese cucumbers, diced ½ red onion, diced ½ green capsicum, diced small handful of parsley, chopped small handful of coriander, chopped small handful of mint, chopped 1 tbsp dried mint 1 tsp sumac salt and pepper, to taste 2 limes, zested and juiced 2 tbsp olive oil
Method Like most salads, this isn’t the most difficult one to make. Combine the tomato, cucumber, onion and capsicum in a bowl, and stir to combine.
Toss through the herbs and sumac with a good whack of salt and pepper, before adding the lime zest and juice, and olive.
Stir to combine, cover and pop in the fridge for an hour to allow the flavours to come together. Then, and only then, do you serve.
As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram.
Previously on Australian Survivor the tribes finally merged, with lines drawn neatly down the middle with five a piece. They celebrated the milestone with a classic Survivor auction, where Luke won the power to send someone back to camp before it even truly began. And despite Parvati giving him ample opportunities to change his mind and not make an enemy of her, she was the unlucky individual. Or as she thought, as she arrived at camp to find a large jar of cookies. And when she accidentally smashed them while trying to bury them, was even more delighted to find a Steal a Vote advantage. Despite all that excitement, the immunity challenge was cancelled due to a wild lightning storm, so the last four standing drew rocks with Tommi the lucky one to ‘win’ the first individual immunity. Back at camp Luke desperately tried to keep the Aussies together, though Kirby had other ideas, flipping to Parvati and Cirie with Shonee, and blindsiding her former ride or die Sarah in the process. Officially making her the Queen of the Jury, as she – and the audience, TBH – deserves.
Back at camp Luke quickly congratulated everyone on the spicy little blindside, despite clearly being pissed about the turn of events. Kirby pulled him aside to tell him that she had actually told him she threw out Sarah’s name, so he shouldn’t be shocked or upset, which only made him angrier. Leading he and Janine to catch up over their mutual rage, confirming the Aussie alliance is dead and that they will work with whoever it takes to carry the two of them to the end.
The tribe awoke the next day to more rain, as Kirby and Parvati flirted and couple-dressed. Kirby told us that she is all in on her alliance with Parvati, as she desperately wants to go to the end with the best of the best. The duo then caught up in the jungle with both of them playfully talking about not being sure if the other trusts them, though Kirby continued to assure her that she’d love to go to the end with her and Cirie. Which was music to Parvati’s ears, as she just wanted to get to the end, given it is so unlikely as the biggest target remaining. Parvati then caught up with Lisa, whispering about not wanting to be seen talking to each other in front of Luke and Janine as the duo were way too shifty. While pissed off Lisa, as she caught up with Kass about feeling like they have been cast aside for Shonee and Kirby.
Janine meanwhile was pissed about Kirby putting all the Aussies on the bottom, well her and Luke at least, so they split up to find a crack in the World tribe. First Janine got to work on Parvati, assuring her that she would love to work with her and Cirie, before casually digging for intel on Kass and pretending that Kass had been laying the groundwork to pull off a Parvati blindside. And whether it is true or not, the fact that Janine is orchestrating it makes me so happy. Particularly since George was saying she didn’t deserve to be here, when she does. She is an ICON.
The tribe met up with Jonthan for the latest immunity challenge where they would each have to stand on a box and hold up two weighted beams with the last person standing jagging individual immunity. And a mystery scroll. Everyone tried to take their places, with Shonee and Lisa struggling to even get started given they were so heavy. Surprisingly they lasted a minute, which is not something Cirie can say as she became the first to drop. She was followed by Janine and Lisa, as Shonee continued to struggle before finally dropping at the two minute mark. Luke was squirming and moaning for ages, though managed to hold on for five minutes, dropping just after Tommi. Kirby, Kass and Parvati continued to fight, with the latter two literally just standing like statues. While Lisa sweetly praised Parvati for being so strong. After ten minutes Kirby dropped, leaving the battle of the challenge beasts with Kass super chill, while Parvati squirmed back and forth before dropping at 15 minutes, handing Kass immunity. And the scroll, which JLP told her she wasn’t allowed to read until tomorrowmorning.
Back at camp everyone praised Kass for being so strong, questioning where she has trained to become such a beast. Parvati meanwhile was devastated, worried about Kass being immune and potentially coming for her. Thankfully she pulled her aside, telling her that she is so nervous to not be immune because she has heard that Kass had been throwing her name around. After Kass assured her it was all a lie, they agreed to stay World strong. Parv immediately caught up with Kirby, with the latter pledging her undying loyalty and assuring her that she hasn’t heard anything. And will protect her, promising to never write each other’s name down. They then locked in a plan to get rid of Lisa and Tommi, before Kirby approached Luke and Janine to loop them in. Which they were obviously keen on.
Shonee meanwhile was thrilled to have given the public what they wanted by voting with Parvati last tribal council, though could see that Kirby’s fan girling over Parv was getting a bit much. As such, she caught up with Luke and agreed that she would be thrilled to work together to get rid of Cirie instead. After giggling about having a little bit of fun, Luke pulled Lisa and Kass aside to see if they would be interested in working with them. Skillfully telling them he would happily get rid of Kirby or Cirie, whoever they preferred. Janine meanwhile was disappointed that Kass was now immune after all of her maneuvering, so caught up with Cirie and Kirby to lock in a Lisa vote instead. Before Kirby disappeared and the duo quickly started talking shit about her, before agreeing that it would make more sense to get rid of her instead. Though Cirie admitted she was nervous about missing the shot, because Kirby would clearly target them instead if she survives.
Before she admitted to us that she is frankly just terrified of all of the Aussies as they play hard.
Lisa and Kass caught up with Cirie, with the latter telling them about Janine’s plans, while Kass told her that Shonee and Luke were throwing out her name. Cirie then went to loop in Parvati, assuring her that she trusts Janine wholeheartedly, particularly since Kirby has already voted out her number one in Sarah. While Parvati was concerned about whether she could trust Kass moving forward. And the fact she promised not to vote Kirby out. Kass then caught up with Parvati, throwing out Kirby as an option and just as Parvati looked to be locking in the plan, Kirby arrived and pulled her aside. She then got a little paranoid about Parv turning on her, before confirming she won’t come for her. Though admitted to us that she feels like she is going to betray one of Kirby or Cirie, and that makes her nervous. And when Kirby mentioned that she has trust issues after Feras went back on his promise to play his idol for her, it gave Parvati the idea to do the same, as she would then have a very grateful and loyal ally in her corner.
At tribal council Lisa spoke about how chaotic it was on the beach that afternoon, with Cirie agreeing that she is even finding things moving way too fast and this is her fifth rodeo. Luke then explained everything that happened at the last tribal council, outing Kirby for blowing up the Aussie alliance and for being the reason that Sarah is on the jury. To her credit, Kirby backed her move and said you have to make a move when you can, more importantly, before the other person does, and she knew Sarah would strike eventually. With Janine agreeing that it did make sense. Cirie meanwhile wasn’t sure whether you can ever trust that conversations are true in the game, given people could be trying to play you. While Lisa joked that she tries not to lie, just flim flam. While Kass admitted she definitely cannot lie in English.
As talk went back to Kirby turning on her ride or die, she joked everyone should stop talking about it. She admitted she was hopeful that Sarah could still reward a good move if she made it to the end, because she could have easily made it against Kirby first. Cirie meanwhile was hoping to get some clarity after the vote, while Kirby was committed to doing what she said to her allies back at camp, while Parvati was just wanting to solidify her trust with someone and, ideally, clear a path to the end. With that the tribe voted and after a couple landed on Cirie and Lisa, Janine banded with the World tribe – Parvati included – to send Kirby out of the game to join her former ride or die on the jury.
To say that Kirby was emotional to be voted out, particularly by Parvatai, was an understatement. But to her credit, she took it in her stride and knew that she was fast becoming one of the biggest targets. And that is in no small part due to the fact that she plays hard, always opts to take the big move and frankly, is deadly. In all meanings of the word. So I pulled her in for a massive hug and tried to wash away the bitterness with a big batch of Brookirby Bentley.
Yeah, yeah – this is kinda, sorta a cheats recipe. But when it is this good, you can’t be made. Simply a brownie dotted with cookie dough, combining the two seems to elevate them to somewhere godly. And oh so delicious.
Enjoy!
Brookirby Bentley Serves: 8.
Ingredients 3 cups flour ½ tsp kosher salt 125g dark chocolate, roughly chopped 250g unsalted butter, at room temperature 1 ½ cup muscovado sugar ¾ cup raw caster sugar 3 eggs 1 tbsp vanilla extract 2 tsp baking powder 200g milk chocolate chips
Method Preheat the oven to 160C and 1 cup of flour and the salt into a large bowl and leave aside.
In a double boiler, melt the dark chocolate and half the butter until smooth and glossy. Remove from the heat and stir in half the muscovado sugar and all the caster sugar until combined. One at a time, whisk in two eggs until the mixture comes back together before folding in the flour and salt.
Pour the batter into a lined 25cm square cake tin and leave to rest while you prep the cookie dough.
Place the remaining butter and muscovado sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer and beat until thick and creamy. Add the egg and vanilla and continue to beat for a further minute, or until it just comes together.
Remove from the mixer and fold through the remaining flour and baking powder. Again, when just together, fold through the chocolate chips.
Dot the cookie dough over the brownies, spreading and smooshing to your heart’s desire. Pop into the oven to bake for 20-30 minutes, or until just set in the middle. And by just set, just set. Remove from the oven to cool in the pan for an hour before carving and devouring.
As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram.
Previously on Australian Survivor, seven icons from Australia lined up against seven legends of the game from around the world. With six wins between them. Seven if you count DONDI, which is kinda-sorta cannon, now. In any event, given Shonee and Kirby weren’t overly connected on the Aussie tribe, they quickly aligned. With Shonee focused on getting revenge against George (and probs David, given she loves a revenge arc). Knowing he was screwed, George proposed working with David and Luke, however the duo had zero interest. And after David beasted his way to victory in the immunity challenge, it didn’t really matter. Yet. The global players were out for blood with the US players, with Rob bossily pushing for Parvati to go. Sadly for him, Lisa wanted to work with Cirie and convinced the global faction to band with the US to get rid of him instead, making sure Parvati’s birthday was saved.
The next day we checked in with Luke who was busy being a millenial, telling everyone that he has taken up bird watching. While he said that, however, he was obviously hunting for idols. And dishing out his stolen bananas to his new bestie Shonee and perma-bestie David. Even though he knows he can’t actually trust the latter. In any event, he jagged the idol and just like that – RIP, you terrible masterpiece – he became the most powerful player in the game. Well, for now. We all saw Parv Parv at tribal council, so an idol can’t really stop her.
Speaking of which, we checked in with the World tribe where everyone was rather sombre post tribal council. Wait, no, it was just that they hadn’t had their coffeeeeee. Everyone was thrilled to have blindsided Rob and to have created some peace. And Parvati was ready to take advantage of the murky alliances to officially take control. As such, she took the girls off to bathe in the ocean – aka align – while Tony and Tommi were busy working away at camp. Tony admitted that he knows that Parvati and Cirie work best when rallying the women, and as such, tried to figure out a way he and Tommi could save themselves. While the women vibed and ugh, crown Parv now.
Back at the Aussie tribe, David was busy talking about having the biggest target in the game, though was grateful to have three really tight friends on the island in the form of Luke, Janine and Sarah. Not wanting to rest on his laurels though, he caught up with Kirby to see what she was thinking in the hopes of wooing her to his side. And take out George and Shonee first. Sadly for him, Kirby’s closest friend in the game is Shonee, so she caught up with the duo with George suggesting Janine is probably the one that needs to go first. Which instantly spooked Kirby, who felt David was the bigger threat. He then explained that David is too well insulated and his friends will protect him, so taking out Janine will weaken his numbers but not scare him.
Kirby continued to shine, catching up with David’s friends one by one, with Luke talking about going for him eventually, while Shonee reminded her and Sarah that getting rid of George is always an option. Sarah opened up about knowing David outside of the game, both modelling in Western Australia. That being said, she wanted to play things differently this time by having a solid single ally rather than playing both sides. That night, she caught up with Kirby by the fire to not necessarily lock her in as her number one, though to admit that she had come around to getting rid of David first.
Obviously this manifested JLP for the immunity challenge where the tribes would face off using a battering ram to smash a wall, carry it through a keyhole, load it with blocks and walk it through a course before stacking them on an A frame and knocking them off with sandbags. The tribes both started smashing their wall at the same time, while Tony dominated the wall strategically and got the World tribe out to a hefty lead. Lisa then coached them through the keyhole, as the Aussies finally made it through the wall. The Aussies tried to close the gap as Tony continued to MVP the challenge for World, who had all their blocks stacked before the Aussies even made it to the end. Sadly, he kinda sucked at throwing, though thankfully, he had plenty of time to get his eye in. After he fatigued, Tommi jumped in and quickly knocked off a couple of blocks. The Aussies finally joined the fray with David coming close to closing the gap. Sadly for him and Luke, however, the lead was too much to overcome as Tony secured immunity for the World tribe.
Back at camp David quickly got to work trying to lock in an alliance with Kirby, suggesting George as the target instead. George meanwhile was talking to Sarah about feeling like he has to bend the knee to David. Luke and Janine caught up with David and Kirby, with him suggesting they split their votes between George and Shonee. Sadly for the alleged Golden God, Kirby knew David had the numbers while Geroge had none and as such, she wanted to get rid of David instead. She caught up with Shonee, George and Sarah to talk through the options, with them all keen to get rid of him because yolo, big moves are more fun. No joke. Sadly while George was feeling this alliance, he pulled Luke and David aside to let them know that David is on the block. And that the only way to save him is working together with Janine to get rid of Shonee instead.
This sent David in a little bit of a spiral, while Sarah desperately tried to keep her distance from him to make sure her loyalty was clearly with Kirby. That being said, she felt bad and pulled Janine aside to let David know that he is in trouble and there is nothing more she can do. Unless he has an idol. The madness continued as George told Kirby that he threw out Shonee’s name to the other side, with her hilariously dunking on him and letting him know the actual plan was to split between him and Shonee. As he started to simmer, David approached and the duo awkwardly got more and more frustrated with each other as Kirby hilariously smirked at the drama.
Even after George threw her squarely under the bus to David, right in front of her.
When it was just the two of them, Kirby confronted him and fired up, making her realise that maybe George did need to go instead. David meanwhile was lamenting his place in the game with Luke, before confronting Kirby in the shallows, as she hilariously chilled out by herself. He asked why she is leading the vote against him, while she pointed out that she is not leading anything. David started talking about his physical strength and how desperately they need him for them to have the numbers at the merge. Sensing it wasn’t going well, he spoke to Janine who assured him Kirby is definitely leading the charge against him. As such, he focused on wooing Sarah to his side. Bless her, however, she was not interested in voting with anyone but Kirby, so did the hail mary for him, and suggested flipping it to George. Which she swiftly did, it seems.
After Sarah told them the vote was now on George, Shonee caught up with Kirby to find out what was happening. And while she was surprised, she was more than happy to snip George. George and Sarah joined them, with George suggesting they get rid of Janine instead to guarantee they all survive the night. And when Luke joined them and assured them he’d happily vote for Janine, a third plan seemed to be locked in.
We finally arrived at tribal council where George admitted he was disappointed to not be having the night off. Kirby said that while her OG season was chaotic, that was amateur hour compared to the afternoon she just had, which was an absolute nightmare. While she is just a newbie. David called her out for playing just as hard as everyone else on the beach, and that she isn’t giving herself enough credit. As she is really in control of the vote tonight. George spoke about the competing priorities amongst the tribe before talking about the fast pace of the game. Shonee and Kirby started to whisper, confirming the vote was still for David before they looped in Sarah and George. And ugh, you could almost see Sarah’s heart break as she realised her promise to David would be broken. Luke joked about Survivor being like riding a bike and that he loved the mess.
As that was happening, David and Janine whispered about potentially convincing George to work with them to get rid of Shonee instead. They then got called out for whispering, with Janine sending David and George aside to talk. While David was warning him that they are truly screwed without each other, the other five spoke about potentially locking in a George vote instead. As George, ugh, quickly agreed to get rid of Shonee with David.
The boys returned to their seats as Kirby looked on at George irate. David then filled Luke in on the plan, as Janine let her boys whisper. Shonee rightly started to get nervous as Kirby tried to assure her that she is safe and they will all get rid of David, so she just needed to relax. Shonee then spoke openly about her fear that the two people that voted her out previously could be working together. David then suggested he, Janine and Luke flip back to George, Luke told George they were voting Janine and fucking hell, I actually have no idea how this is playing out. With that the tribe voted and hilariously, things were split evenly between George and David, with a single little outlier for Janine from George. Which thankfully didn’t bite him in the bum as the tribe re-voted – this time without David and George – and the girls stuck together to send the Golden God from the game.
Despite announcing his retirement from playing, David took his boot in stride, knowing that as the only winner on their beach, he was always kinda, sorta screwed. That and he won millions and millions of dollars on DONDI, so yolo. As such, I pulled him into a hug, feeling his rippling muscles against my chest as I shed a surprising tear that we will never see David in his sarong again. As such, I toasted his demise and wished him luck in his future endeavours – in a hollow, still team JLP manner – with a glorious David Genutella Sundaes.
The first thing I think of when I think of David is nut. Nutella, that is. I also think of how good he would look in the Chris Evans version of the whipped cream bikini, so tried my luck by whipping him up a sundae. And if it went nowhere, at least we got something delicious. Velvety nutella ganache, sweet cherries and the warm crunch of nuts, this is truly delightful.
Enjoy!
David Genutella Sundaes Serves: 2 dear friends, that could be lovers, because you can’t be lovers if you can’t be friends.
Ingredients ⅓ cup double cream 60g dark chocolate ½ cup nutella 1 tsp vanilla extract 2 cups Vanilla Ice Cream ⅓ cup toasted hazelnuts, roughly chopped whipped cream, to taste 4 maraschino cherries hundreds and thousands, for sprinklin’
Method Pop the double cream in a saucepan over medium heat and bring to heat until it is almost boiling. Remove from the heat and whisk in the chocolate until it has melted and the sauce is smooth. Stir in the nutella, followed by the vanilla, and remove from the heat.
To assemble, divide the ice cream between two bowls, sprinkle with some nuts, pour over the ganache, dollop the whipped cream and dot with the cherries, before topping with sprinkles. And devouring.
As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram.
Previously on Australian Survivor JLP has been marooning every day Aussies, a healthy dose of C-list celebrities, dozens of iconic athletes, an award winning actress and some OG Survivor legends in the islands of Samoa, Fiji and a brief stint in the Queensland outback after that little thing known as the pandemic. In that time we have crowned a Samoan Sea-Witch, a Cookie Monster, an Olympic legend, the aforementioned award winning actress, a Golden God, a doctor of pain, the then-husband of the icon that should have won a season, a non-medalling Olympian, a Feras Wheel and most recently, a Jungle Rat. And to celebrate hitting a decade on air, JLP is pulling out more than just his guns to celebrate – an international showdown, the likes of which have never been done before.
Presumably in an ode to RuPaul, we opened this very special season – which will also mark my retirement alongside JLP – with some ASMR lover from JLP. That is until we pivoted to an airport runway where, presumably, the world players were trying to land as Shonee made her iconic return, fresh from mat leave and back in her iconic red dress. Luke then escaped from the luggage cart – I shit you not – ready to create chaos and win. Welp, I am already wrong – Sarah and Kirby exited the plane with the latter ready to take on the best and dominate. Business queen Janine arrived to give us a boost, by way of Steve Tyler’s look while George is far more likeable with a dad bod, though in the battle with Shonee, he is out. Oh and David is back, fresh from his record breaking victory in the US. Driving the army truck out of the airport to collect his tribemates and take them to start the game.
The World tribe, meanwhile, came in Mad Max style, by way of the American South led by two time winner Tony, Queen Cirie and fellow Black Widow Parvati, who ideally will be coming out to get her second win. And in her eyes, to get redemption for her loss in Samoa. We met Kass, a runner-up from Quebec, perma-reigning Lisa from NZ, cute little Tommi from Finland and the absolutely dominant Rob from South Africa. The latter, ready to put the Gods and Kings from Australia back in their place. Which is hilarious.
All the heavy vehicles presumably parked somewhere before the tribes met JLP by the shore to officially kick off the game. With the Aussies rightly gagged to see Cirie, Parvati and Rob’s guns. Shonee spoke about holding the Australian record for most days played as she and Parvati winked at each other, immediately flooding my basement and making me question whether I am straight. Tony was sad to be called a two time winner given it makes him a target, before Kirby admitted that she doesn’t know who anyone is given she hasn’t watched the show. Though she is hoping it will be an advantage. Tony admitted he is ready to lose a limb to snatch the crown, while Cirie was non-committal about finally jagging a win, though agreed she would happily lose a limb trying.
The tribes threw on their buffs before JLP put them through their paces in the first challenge of the season, where they would race down a slide, scramble under a net and toss their sacks at a bell. And the victor of each battle would get to pick from a shelf of supplies which included champagne and a mystery box, which immediately got Parv excited. After the World tribe were delighted to see George in his Aussie speedos, David and Rob were first to face off. Well, after David tried to woo Rob into a cross-tribal alliance knowing they were both huge targets as they slowly walked up the stairs. Sadly it wasn’t enough to take out the win in the challenge, as Rob won and collected the mystery box for the world. Tommi and George were up next with George, shockingly taking out the win and collecting the flint. With Lisa calmly calling him insufferable, like a damn queen. Kirby quickly defeated Parv and jagged a fruit basket, Luke beat Tony and won a tarp before Cirie won pillows over Sarah and Kass beat Janine for coffee and tea. Then came the battle we’ve all been waiting for, Lisa and Shonee, with Lisa taking out the win and scoring the bubbly.
We followed the World tribe back to camp where Parvati quickly mentioned she was excited to open the box. Sadly for them, however, they needed to find a key to do it. After pouring a champagne, Cirie led the tribe through introductions while Parvati worried about the fact the US players were outnumbered by the global players, given that it could be an easy alliance. Parvati was also worried about Tony and where things stood between them, so pulled him aside to talk about whether they can trust each other, while Tony was just nervous about the appearance of the US trio all being too close. Which is exactly what the World players were worrying about. Rob pulled them off one at a time to talk about targeting the Americans, even telling them that David wants to target them too, so they would easily have an ally come the merge. Sadly for them, while Lisa agreed to their face, it was clear that she is going to align with Cirie as she straight up sobbed about how much of a fan of hers she is.
As such, she went collecting logs with Cirie and admitting to being her biggest fan leading to them pledging their undying loyalty to each other and ugh, I honestly can’t believe we are watching this magic.
We checked in with the Aussies where Sarah asked everyone to admit who they have played with, while George started to shit himself because his only past relationship is with Shonee. As such, he pulled her aside to try and clear the air. And while it appeared that everything was all good between them, she confirmed to us that she has no interest in working with him. Ever. She admitted that this time, she plans to avoid having any ride or die relationships like her previous games. She and Kirby then caught up and given they both have clean slates in the game, locked in a secret alliance, and ugh, I live. Almost as much as I do for Shonee’s fixation on getting revenge on George in as ishonic a manner possible.
As Luke went hunting for idols, we checked in with David who was feeling rather exposed as the only winner on the tribe. Though given he can’t hide, he decided to play harder. He went hunting for idols, as did George. Knowing they are both massive targets, they realised they may have no other option but to align with each other, along with Luke, to protect themselves. And while I hate it, the fact that David was keen to name their alliance the Power Bottoms, I am keen for it. Wait, it is another welp moment – sadly for Geroge, David and Luke had no actual interest in working with him and ugh, I almost feel bad for him and the Power Bottoms that could have been.
Back at the World camp the girls sipped on champagne as Rob desperately worked to start a fire. After gassing himself out, Parv took him for a walk to try and find a new ally, awkwardly trying to forage mushrooms. Which feels too soon for all Australians. Before they picked any, Parv and Rob spoke about how beautiful each other’s eyes are. Sadly for him, she had seen him and David talking at the challenge, so leveraged her Deal or No Deal Island bond and told him she knows who he is because David told her he wanted to work with him while filming that show. And while Rob promised not to tell anyone that she and David were on another show together, it feels like this is the moment that is make or break for one of them. And while Rob is confident that the World alliance will win out, he is already underestimating Lisa.
The next day we learnt it was Parvati’s birthday and to celebrate, she was hoping for an immunity win. Because if she makes it to Day 3, she will be tied with Boston Rob for most days played at 152. Right on cue, we pivoted to the immunity challenge where the tribes would race to push a staircase down a walkway to climb a wall, then build another staircase with massive blocks and then two people would climb to the top and shoot coconut at tiles. With the first tribe to knock out eight tiles snatching the win. The World tribe got out to an early lead thanks to Rob’s massive guns. Sadly for them, the Aussies closed the gap while building their stairs with the lead going back and forth until the Aussies made it to the top. This gave David and Luke a massive advantage shooting their (coco)nuts. They quickly knocked out two before Tony and Rob joined the frey, with Tony closing the gap. David and Luke then knocked out two more, followed by one for Tony, before David and Luke pulled ahead again and David ultimately secured victory for the Aussies.
As Rob asked David to find the key for the box and openly spoke out their previous chat, as Parvati watched on closely.
Back at camp the tribe were gutted about their loss, though Rob admittedly wasn’t too concerned, given the single country alliance has the numbers and could knock off whoever they wanted. The four of them caught up with Parvati in the ocean with him desperate to get her to name a name, as she straight up refused, before Rob named Cirire. Though given she could sense Rob was in control, Parvati wisely mentioned that looking at the US trio as allies is silly, and everyone needs to talk before tribal council. After Rob pulled them aside to switch the vote to Parvati, he caught up with Cirie and Tony to talk about the fact the global players are scared of the US people being aligned and as such, Cirie’s only hope is to vote for Parvati. And while she agreed to get rid of her, Cirie assured us that she would never turn on her.
It came back to the two of Parvati and Rob, with Parvati hilariously calling out Rob for bulldozing his allies and while she thought the two of them were allies, she told him that she couldn’t name anyone else because he is aligned with everyone. He then admitted that he can’t name anyone else because ultimately it doesn’t matter, which hilariously led to her clocking that he was voting for her. They then caught up with Cirie, with Rob laughing about how chill Cirie is and ugh, he does not know who he is dealing with. Cirie then caught up with Lisa who told her that Rob is the one throwing out her name, and the duo agreed they desperately want him out. Though Lisa admitted to us that getting rid of Parv could actually help bring her and Cirire together, so she was still open to it. Kass and Lisa caught up about Rob’s fixation on Parvati, as she hilariously walked up and got them to admit that she was the target as she swiftly convinced them to join her in blindsiding Rob instead.
Parvati looped in Cirie on the fact the women were keen to band together to get rid of Rob, while Tony spoke to them for less than a minute to lock in his vote with them. Lisa meanwhile caught up with Tommi and Kass to see what they were thinking, however sadly, the producers didn’t let us know which way they were planning to go, given they are in control.
At tribal council Parvati spoke about how challenging it is to find commonalities, given they all have such different backgrounds and the pace is moving so fast. Oh and the fact that people are already making allies across the tribes. Which Rob said was smart, given they are doomed if the Aussies get the upper hand. Cirie jumped on Parvati’s move, talking about how the game started the second they hit the mats and while she hadn’t had many conversations, things picked up this afternoon and she is feeling more hopeful. Tony downplayed aligning down country lines, while Rob suggested everyone should avoid a blindside this early and everyone should be unified. And while Kass agreed with JLP that it can’t be unified, she did think it could be close. While Parvati danced around the fact that she, Tony and Cirie have cause to be nervous.
Talk turned to strength with Cirie pointing out that physical strength isn’t the be all and end all, which Rob tried to agree with, talking about how important it is to stand firm with your allies and build trust over time. Which Parvati hilariously pointed out means he is wanting them to come back to build trust, with her getting so far under his skin that he mentioned he has no interest in ever working with her, because she has a big secret she is keeping from the tribe. She admitted that she and David had been on a show together before this, however she didn’t say they would work together. She then went in on Rob, talking about how he and David are the ones constantly talking at challenges and clearly want to work together. Lisa mentioned that the game has moved so quickly, she didn’t even know an entire storyline crossing the reality multiverse had been happening while she was scrambling on the beach.
Cirie tried to distract from the mess, talking about how whatever had been going on doesn’t change the relationships she has formed. While Parvati said she will clearly be voting for Rob – as he will her – because Parvati refuses to play with someone who wants to control his allies. Cirie then got up to talk to Lisa, Kass and Tommi who agreed nothing had changed. With that the tribe voted – Rob shockingly for Cirie, to protect against an idol – before the votes piled up on Rob and swiftly sent him from the game.
While he was disappointed and a little shocked to be out first, it took it in his stride and admitted to clearly underestimating how good the US legends were. And given he was so sweet, I couldn’t bring myself to point out you can’t repeat your winning game on an All Stars – unless you are Sandra – so strong-arming everyone was never going to work. So instead, I served him up a batch of Fairob Brentele and sent him on his way.
Given this is my farewell season alongside JLP, I knew I had to work my way through a few iconic Australian recipes. And there is none more iconic than Fairy Bread. While it doesn’t really have much flavour – aside from sweet bread and butter – I will never turn it down. Nor will Rob, now.
Enjoy!
Fairob Brentele Serves: 1.
Ingredients 2 slices white bread 1-2 tbsp butter, softened 1-2 tbsp hundreds and thousands
Method Spread the butter all the way to the edges on each slice of bread.
Sprinkle with hundreds and thousands.
Cut into triangles. Devour.
As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram.
Previously on Australian Survivor things got chaotic. And by a little, a lot. After Myles made a massive play of stealing Kristin’s idol and using it to save Paulie and send home PD instead, Logan was positively irate. Not at Myles, however, but her frequent sparring partner AJ. Myles on the other hand found unwavering loyalty in his newest ally Paulie. When it came to tribal council, Logan tried to target AJ, while the Graduates decided it was time to come back together to take out Logan. Hopefully sending her home with an idol in her pocket, to boot. Karin though had other plans, whispering to Logan to play her idol and while Karin was able to pull the rug out from under the boys, it still resulted in Logan’s bestie Laura going home. As Queen of the Jury.
Back at camp everyone was basically okay with the outcome of tribal council, except for Logan, who was angry to have lost her closest ally and her idol. Like Paulie before her, she was ready to pledge her undying loyalty to Kaz though, and take control. Sadly for them, Kaelan was busy telling AJ and Myles that he overheard Kaz whispering at tribal council and as such, they should not trust her. As such, their plan was now to eliminate some of the girls to weaken Kaz’s game, first being Logan followed by Kate. Sadly for them Kate was right behind them when they were discussing it. Whether she heard it or not.
The next day Paulie’s buff fell into the fire giving him a rough new bankrobber look. As rough as Logan was still feeling, given she had no friends left in the game and felt super hurt. Zara pulled her aside to attempt clearing the air, and when that failed, Zara traded out with Kristin and TBH, Logan kinda just needs to calm down. Particularly given she has now decided that Karin only warned her because it benefitted her game. And while, yeah that is what Kaz wanted, it still saved her. Logan then questioned whether she and Kate are still even friends, while Kaz told us how she plans to now use Logan’s volatile nature to get what she wants.
Like the boys last night, Kaz was hoping to weaken her rival, AJ. And to her, the best way to do that would be to split up Kate and Morgan, given he has clearly befriended them and they will always side with him. She caught up with Myles, who wisely reminded her that he had stuck his neck out over the last few days and as such, he is happy to jump on any plans that pop up but would be leading the charge. So yeah, he will happily join the Kate plan. Not to be outdone, AJ and Kaelan caught up to talk through a potential blindside of their own, with Kaelan happy to let AJ take all the credit for the move – aka get his hands dirty – while he would slide to the end and then make a show of everything he was involved in. And damn, is this the start of a winner’s edit?!
The tribe joined Jonathan in the jungle for the Survivor Auction. Or so they thought. Instead, they would come up one at a time to choose between two covered items. They would then flip a coin for the chance to reveal one, but if they lose, they would be choosing blind. Paulie was hoping for pizza, pasta, booze, biscoff and nutella. Instead, Myles went first and chose a loaf of bread, blind. Paulie went next and after winning his coin toss, happily passed up the opportunity for a phone call home and instead got the covered item which was a pickle. Which, gays love, right? (No, he raged, hard). Kaelan then got a bowl of rice as his blind item, Morgan went blind for a coconut, Karin got a lemon meringue pie blind, before Zara got to reveal a huge steak dinner, which she happily took. Much to Paulie’s simmering rage, as Myles offered him some bread. Kate then revealed a scroll, which she obviously took despite some hesitation. She revealed that she was now able to steal any item of her choosing after it was revealed. Kristin then won her coin flip revealing lasagne and beer, which Kate promptly stole. AJ then revealed pizza and promptly took it before Logan took her place at the table, losing the coin flip but winning the phone call home. She then called her husband and promptly broke down in tears and ugh, she was starting to frustrate me, but now I love her again. Plus, she is a mum who is also mother. And just like that, we’re back in the game Logan.
The next day everyone turned their attention back to the actual game, with AJ hoping to foster his relationship with Morgan and Kate to go to the end. Starting with getting rid of Karin first, given she is clearly out for splitting up one of the pairs. AJ and Kate then caught up with Myles, confident their plan was foolproof and that he definitely won’t turn on them. Sadly for them, Myles knows he can work with Karin, she will always be a threat and kinda sucks at endurance challenges, and as such, he was planning to play along to their face but keep Karin around.
Jonathan made a speedy return for the immunity challenge where they would each balance a ball on the end of a plank using a single leg, with the last person standing winning. Which is obvious, so I don’t really need to say that, right? Anyway, it is pretty boring to write about so let’s just list things out! Kaelan dropped out of nowhere, quickly followed by Zara, Karin and AJ within five minutes. After struggling for what felt like hours, Myles eventually dropped, followed by Paulie and Morgan, the latter out of nowhere. Kristin manoeuvred a miraculous save, while Kate was like a statue, as Kaelan whispered to Karin that this challenge is a bad one to show your cards in, given the final immunity challenge is always endurance. After 35 minutes, Kristin dropped leaving Logan and Kate to battle it out. And given Kate didn’t move within the first 55 minutes, she asked if they could make it harder, so the girls had to put their hands behind their head. They still went at it for another 20 minutes before Logan spotted a spider on her shoe, forcing her to lose her balance and hand Kate immunity.
Back at camp everyone quickly congratulated Kate on her win. Well, everyone except for Karin, given her plan had now fallen apart. Well, kinda, given she was happy to flip it to Morgan instead, and just move on. Karin, Myles and AJ caught up by the shore, quickly locking in a split vote between Morgan, Paulie and Logan, with the plan being for Morgan to go home. Obviously as soon as Karin left, AJ called bullshit on the plan as she was being too kind to him, deciding that it meant someone had told her he was targeting her. Morgan and Paulie joined the duo with Morgan agreeing with Myles that she has no interest in getting rid of Karin yet, and instead locked in a vote to get rid of Logan given she dominated the immunity challenge. At that very moment Karin and Kaelan were assuring Logan that she is safe but warned that she will cop a couple of votes tonight. While Myles pulled Paulie aside to let him know that the way the split was playing out, they could just pick a side and send whoever they wanted home.
Despite being told not to let Zara or Karin know that Logan is the target, AJ pulled Zara and Kristin aside to float just switching up the vote and getting rid of Logan without Myles knowing. Which obviously annoyed the shit out of Zara, given the game has been defined by men playing chaotically moments before tribal council. She and Kristin took the intel back to Karin and Kaelan, who then immediately ran over to AJ to put an end to this new plan. And while Karin was happy to do whatever the boys wanted, Myles was completely enraged because AJ shouldn’t have run his mouth at all. Once again everyone came together to lock in the split vote and once they were all sure of what they were doing, AJ and Karin caught up to discuss the fact that the move is logical, however she wished they just spoke things through, rather than making the choice later and running to them in a panic, which is shady. And while Karin was happy to get rid of Logan, she was sick of playing along and considered doing some whispering at tribal council.
Speaking of which, at tribal council everyone learned that the evening’s proceedings would be a little bit different. Instead of voting someone out of the game, they would be splitting the tribe in two for the next cycle with the winner of the upcoming immunity challenge winning immunity for their entire tribe. Oh and the tribes would be split by Barren and Bounty, with the former having nothing, while everyone else would get their camp, a fully cooked breakfast and an advantage at the next immunity challenge. Oh and Kate would automatically be on the Bounty tribe, as will someone she chooses. The two people with the highest votes tonight, however, would automatically land on the Barren tribe, while the other six would draw rocks.
Everyone was rightly a little nervous about how things would play out, and hopeful that they at least landed on a tribe with numbers. Zara was sick of leaving it to chance, so stood up and asked the girls what they were thinking, with Kristin simply focussed on wanting someone to have a shitty sleep. While at the other end, Myles was fixated on making sure Logan was on the Barren tribe. AJ spoke about it being clear that Kate would pick Morgan, and as they all joked, Karin, Logan and Paulie agreed that AJ needed to be split from them, so decided to load their votes on him. With that, the tribe voted with Paulie immediately landing on the Barren tribe, as the remaining votes tied up between AJ and Logan, before Logan officially joined our zaddy king. The rest drew rocks – after Logan cussed out Kaelan for voting her, despite him explaining he wanted to even up the skills – with Myles, Kaelan and Kristin going to Barren, while Zara, Karin and AJ went to Bounty.
Obviously we followed the temporary Barren tribe back to the empty beach they would call camp, and let’s just say the mood was low. Really low, as the skies opened up and drenched them. Kaelan still had a smile on his face, though, despite the miserable experience. Paulie meanwhile was acting like me, completely heartbroken to be kicked while he was down. As he quietly sulked, Logan was cussing people out again, talking about how she was being kicked while she was down. While Paulie threatened to get revenge on everyone when they’re reunited.
The next day the Bounty tribe were living their best lives, cooking up a full breakfast and getting primed for a win at the immunity challenge, given they will be fed and have an advantage. Karin meanwhile wasn’t all smiles, as she was stuck in a group with three people that she was wanting to get out and as such, if they win, she can’t. And if they lose, she won’t have the numbers. But hey, they have eggs, right? As they speculated how angry Logan would be with them, we checked in with the Barren tribe where they were desperate to try and crack a coconut. While poor Paulie continued to sulk by the ocean. Myles checked in with him and our zaddy was not buying his apology, telling him he doesn’t need to lie because he will still work with him, given he really has no other options.
Back at Bounty, Morgan and Kate were doing their hair in the well water and while they were living the life of luxury, they were still feeling awkward given they were stuck with Karin and Zara, and it is clear they were out to get them at the last tribal council. Morgan was concerned about them losing, so suggested they need to start acting as one to make it through the immunity challenge. Though Kate did suggest that they should use the time to bond with Karin and Zara to float getting rid of Myles when they’re reunited, because he continues to survive. Conveniently, Karin and Zara were keen on that plan and as such when Kate floated it, the foursome became the best of friends. Sadly, Kate also felt the need to loop in AJ to avoid pissing him off. Despite being aware that he could easily leak the intel and ruin it, he was actually on board as he had been feeling that Myles was now actively hurting his game. And if they win, the five of them can control the vote if they just don’t budge at tribal council.
Things were still pretty dire over at Barren as Paulie spoke about having zero reason to trust anyone on his tribe, so felt like a dead man walking. Kaelan, bless, continued to try and keep spirits up, cracking coconuts and trying to trauma bond with the people left. Kristin joined the fun as she and Kaelan practiced each other’s final tribal council speeches before pulling Logan and Paulie aside to float working together at the next vote and sticking together as a foursome. Paulie, hilariously, told Logan he doesn’t trust her and that the other two just do as they’re told, so what incentive does he actually have? Logan reminded him that she is equally screwed and has no other choice, so they should all band together and pitch to the others that they get rid of Myles should they lose. And once they pulled together a fire, Paulie was back to being a happy delight, dancing by the flames and ugh, he is so happy and I have a bad feeling he is about to be kicked again. Because we can’t have nice things!
Jonathan finally returned for the big immunity challenge, the classic, where they would all have to hold onto a pole with the last one hanging on winning. And given the Bounty peeps got an advantage, they would start at the top while Barren were in the middle. After ten minutes everyone was gagged to see Logan become the first to drop, quickly followed by Kaelan, Morgan and Karin, the latter two due to heights. At fifteen minutes the Bounty trio were forced to the narrower footholds, which cost AJ at the 20 minutes mark, quickly followed by Kristin. After Paulie spoke about being motivated to snatch the win, Myles dropped, leaving it all on Paulie’s broad, glorious shoulders. Sadly for him, at the 30 minutes mark he, Kate and Zara transitioned to the narrowest foothold and given the Bounty girls were tiny and he had huge feet, it wasn’t easy. They continued to fight for another twenty minutes and while Kate struggled, Zara managed to talk her through the pain long enough for Paulie to drop.
Back at camp the tribe were thrilled to be reunited, with both groups seemingly happy to get rid of Myles. Karin, however, was feeling a little confused about why AJ was all of a sudden happy to get rid of Myles, and started to panic that Logan was the actual target. Given Logan was better for her game. As such, she rallied the troops to split the votes between Myles and Paulie to guarantee she gets rid of someone she can’t work with. Which was smart, given AJ straight up pulled Myles aside and told him to play his idol, as it would force some separation between the two of them if he voted against him.
Myles obviously wasn’t vibing that, so pulled Logan and Paulie aside to let them know that he has an idol and if one of them is the split vote, they are screwed. So instead, the three of them could work together to vote out Kristin instead. They just need to pull in AJ, despite his entire plan being to distance themselves. Myles tried to talk to AJ thinking he would be on board, with AJ pointing out that he thinks he can work with Kristin, so doesn’t want to ruffle any feathers, before Myles pointed out that everyone thinks they can work with Kristin, which actually means she is a threat. Paulie was super frustrated to be forced into working with Myles, so caught up with Logan and they realised that it was kinda their only option.
Paulie caught up with Kaelan and Kristin, who promptly told him that everyone is loading on Myles with a few votes thrown on him for safety. This led to an absolute meltdown, as he cussed out Karin and then AJ, trying to convince them to vote for literally anyone else. He then tried his luck with Zara and ugh, my zaddy, people are not going to change their vote with this approach. Logan meanwhile was surprisingly zen, and while she didn’t want to work with Myles, she instead went looking for her own idol. And then, for safety, went to Kaelan and Kristin to let them know that Myles has an idol and as such, whoever is the split will go. Oh and that he wants to target Kristin. This led to Kristin pulling Paulie aside to give him one final chance to be honest with her and let her know about the idol, which he tragically did not, instead asking her to vote for Logan. Which seemingly convinced her and Logan to stay targeting Paulie.
At tribal council Zara spoke about how exposed she felt by the split tribal and that is why she was focussed on taking out victory. Despite conversations during the split offering hope, Paulie was concerned that everyone was too happy to stick with their OG allies. While Myles was just wondering if tonight would be the night where someone draws a line. Kaelan joked about checking if he could vote for himself – Lucinda is triggered – so was going with the majority, while Logan was just resigned to seeing her name come out of the urn. While she was immune, Karin still felt the vote had some risk, as AJ agreed that there is a right and wrong person for everyone to send home tonight and as such, they had to find some common ground among themselves.
Kate meanwhile was focussed on keeping her allies happy. Myles was planning to vote with people that he thinks he can work with, and to just put trust in the conversations he has had. This spooked Karin, who checked with AJ that he is 100% voting Myles tonight, which he promptly agreed with. While Logan hoped to not just vote to survive tonight, but to give her options for the next few tribal councils. With that the tribe voted, Myles played his idol for himself before a vote piled up on each Paulie, Kristin and Logan each before the last two came in for Paulie and tragically sent our zaddy home.
As Paulie arrived at the Jury Villa I ran into his arms and immediately broke down into heaving sobs. I then held him for a gull six hours before I was strong enough to pull back, look him in his gorgeous eyes and tell him how much I loved watching him play. Emphasis on watching. While it looked like we would lose Paulie pre-jury for a while there, I told him how grateful I am to be able to see him serving looks on the jury. And that little, accidental reminder was all it took to turn things around. As we toasted his run with cakes. Our own, and a big, fat slice of Coffee and Paulienut Michake.
This mildly tweaked Nigella number is truly perfection. Earthy, sweet and with a nice coffee kick, it melts in your mouth and have you wanting more. And more, and more. Just like Paulie.
Enjoy!
Coffee and Paulienut Michake Serves: 8.
Ingredients 50g walnuts or walnut meal 225g raw caster sugar 400g unsalted butter, softened 200g flour 2 ½ tbsp instant espresso powder 2½ tsp baking powder ½ tsp bicarb soda 4 eggs 2 tbsp milk 350g icing sugar walnut halves and chocolate coated coffee beans, to decorate
Method Preheat the oven to 160C, and line two 20cm sandwich tins with parchment.
Combine the walnuts or meal with the raw caster sugar in a food processor and blitz to form a fine powder. Add 225g of butter, the flour, 1 ½ tablespoons of espresso powder, baking powder, bicarb, eggs and milk, and blitz until smooth. Divide the mixture between the sandwich tins and transfer to the oven to bake for 25 minutes, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean. Remove from the oven and cool in their tins for 10 minutes, before transferring to a wire rack and cooling completely.
While the cakes – swoon – chill, get to work on the buttercream. Blitz the icing sugar in the food processor to get rid of the lumps before adding the remaining butter and the remaining espresso powder dissolved in 1 tablespoon of boiling water, and blitzing until combined.
To assemble, pop one of the cakes on a cake stand and spread half of the icing on the top. Add the next cake, followed by the icing before decorating with walnuts and chocolate coated coffee beans and devouring. Like the zaddy king of the season.
As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram.
Previously on Australian Survivor AJ became public enemy number one at the Brains after his failed attempt at getting rid of Logan. Unlike the poker players that came before him, however, he didn’t lay down and die. Instead, he went to Rich to let him know that Logan was actually out for him, inspiring him to take charge and lead a rival, all male alliance. All that set up was for nothing – yet – as the Brawns went on a losing streak, in no small part thanks to the golden foot of pole dancing king Myles. Knowing he was in danger, Nash pretended to find an idol right in front of Paulie in the hopes of scaring up a split vote he could take advantage of. Sadly for him, his social game wasn’t as on point as he thought, leasing to the tribe calling his bluff, sending him home and freeing us of the other, obnoxious camera hog.
The next day the Brawn tribe were as gloriously harmonious as the Brains were after booting Kent. Everyone was well slept and vibing by the fire, and even people that weren’t getting along previously, were getting along and living their best lives. Not everything was roses though, specifically Ben, who admitted that he stank. And Ursula was super salty to have had her name written down a second time. She and Noonan caught up to clear the air, with Noonan assuring her that she doesn’t intend to vote for her again and that she was only copping votes because of Nash. But trust and believe Ursula was not convinced, and she still intended to come for her at the first available opportunity.
We checked in on the Brains where we finally heard from Zara as the tribe were once again fireless and hungry. Because the boys miscalculated their rations. As Ally threatened to kill them all with the machete, we learnt that Zara is a luxe queen and ugh, I knew I loved her for a reason. The second one being that she hates Rich. She caught up with Karin to talk it out, realising that Laura and Logan were protecting him and as such, suggested that if they don’t get on board at the next tribal council, the Coven is over. AJ meanwhile was feeling great about his place in the tribe despite his faux pas, and was now going to lay low and let Ally bury herself given she has such a big mouth. While he was sulking by the ocean, Ally complained about him ignoring her, while Zara explained that he is clearly annoyed that she threw him under the bus. Despite briefly considering apologising to him, she started to berate him for being immature and told him she wanted to remember him more fondly once he was gone, so he should just get in line and smile. He then laughed to us about the fact that he actually had a good bond with Myles and Kaelen, and along with the other boys were planning to take a shot at the girls, so he isn’t down and out yet. Nor are the Brains, as they finally built a roaring fire.
Jonathan arrived for the reward challenge where the tribes would jump into a pool of mud, cover themselves in it and carry it down a path to fill a crate. They would then pull said crate to the end of the path before forming mud balls and using them to knock over targets. And given it was for an epic trip to the Survivor spa, everyone had a laser focus. Kalaen and Max got out to an early lead for the Brains, but the Brawns were wearing more clothes and were able to use it as a scoop, dumping in huge load after huge load. Of mud, that is. The Brawn tribe had a hefty lead to start forming and tossing balls, while the Brains desperately tried to close the gap. Sadly nowhere near quickly enough, as PD secured reward for their tribe. And ideally give us a gorgeous Paulie nude scene. Hopefully. Before sending the Brawn tribe away, JLP told them to pick someone to join them and while Logan was literally in tears wanting some glam, they selected Ally to join them given she wanted to give them the snags yesterday.
And just like that, Ally, Logan is coming for you.
Brawn + Ally arrived at the spa, quickly sitting down to their meal and pouring champagne, as Ally thanked them for their kindness and got to know them. Kristin casually tried to fish for intel before Ally went all in oversharing. She started with shading Myles and Kent, before straight up telling literally the tribe who to watch out for and outlining every single alliance and Ally, you’re an absolute moron. Goodbye, I can’t wait for Logan to take her revenge. Oh and we didn’t even get Paulie naked because of her stupidity, so boo.
Back with the Brains, the tribe were far more demure as they washed off in the ocean, assuring themselves that Ally is smart enough to keep her mouth shut and be sensible. And ugh, I wish. AJ meanwhile was growing more and more nervous that Rich and Max’s chaotic energy will blow up his game, and as such, went hunting for an idol. Wanting to protect themselves, Zara, Logan and Karin joined him on the hunt in the hope that they would find it first. Sadly for them, they were not quick enough as he snatched it out from under them and gave him the hope he was looking for.
The tribes reunited with JLP for the immunity challenge where they would race to build a fire on a see saw while the rest of the tribe would build a cube to release a key, use the key to unlock a net and then use that to transport coconuts to a platform which they would use to toss them into a bucket to weigh down the see saw and light a flag with the fire. Well, not until after the Brawn tribe heavily implied Ally had the loosest of loose lips. After throwing her under the bus, the Brains whipped through the puzzle and got out to a massive lead, releasing their nut sack – JLP’s words – and lining up their coconuts, as Laura and Ally struggled to make fire. While Brawn’s fire was roaring, the tribe managed to close the gap and started tossing their nuts. While Ally and Laura continued to not even get a spark. Meaning Brawn easily took out victory and sent Brains back to tribal council.
Back at camp the boys were all well and truly pissed with Ally and Laura for choking, quickly locking in a plan to take a strike at one of the girls before the alliance could actually jag the numbers. Specifically they would blindside Ally for her presumed loose lips, bossing everyone around and most annoyingly, screwing up the challenge. Zara and Karin, meanwhile, were hyper focused on getting rid of Rich. The challenge being making sure all the girls were onboard with the plan. Laura continued to defend Rich which frustrated Zara and Karin, while Laura told them they were being illogical and emotional, rather than listening to them. Zara calmly explained why they’re so focused on him and that they’re sick of always talking about Rich, but not actually being allowed to take a shot because of Laura always getting her way. With Logan and Laura still wanting to save Rich, our good witch approached him to let him know that he was the girls’ target. Rich wisely pointed out the boys were voting for Ally and as such, she could easily just join them to get rid of her with them.
Zara and Karin checked in to make sure Ally was actually still wanting to get rid of Rich. They all agreed it was likely that Laura will stay with them, despite not being happy about it, so they should hold firm. Ally went to coach AJ once again, lecturing him about the fact he is likely safe but that he will exit soon after. She then told him that one wrong vote would get rid of him, so he should be extra careful tonight. As he laughed to us about the fact that Ally clearly has no idea about her surroundings and how much people want her gone. Zara tried to check in with Laura and Logan, and while Logan was keen to smooth things over, Laura ran off angrily. Sensing the alliance may not have much life, Zara and Karin went to find new allies, with Zara quickly pulling in Myles to take out Rich and form a meaningful, collaborative alliance.
Myles then went to AJ to pull him over to their side, as AJ shared that he was a little worried about Zara and Karin being too stubborn. Which feels like a false narrative from Laura, but whatever. Thankfully his trust in Myles proved stronger than his desire to get rid of Ally, so he locked in with them. Karin once again tried to make sure Laura was on board with them, who assured them she was. Zara and Ally then joined them with the latter thinking she made a killer move on the previous reward, telling everyone she assured the Brawns they could trust the girls. And that all of their alliances were locked and loaded, particularly the all girls one, which again is stupid. As is telling the girls about said stupidity.
At tribal council AJ spoke about how tribal council will finally draw a line in the sand for the tribe, given the last votes were pretty easy. Ally said that all the alliances were pretty solid, though the votes should confirm them, yes. Zara spoke about the challenge of needing to have alliances that operate as a democracy, with Logan agreeing that the vote should be pretty straightforward whether she is happy about it or not. Rich admitted he was nervous, given this vote is far less obvious than the last ones. But trust, he isn’t keen on going. Laura meanwhile shared this is one of the most pivotal votes, to her. AJ referenced his alliance, talking about wanting to find loyal people to go to the end with. A bomb squad if you will. This spooked the girls, who seemed to clock the name, with Ally obviously very vocal about being concerned about AJ.
JLP promptly announced that we’re in for a very different tribal council tonight and that instead of voting someone out of the game, they would be voting someone out of the tribe and over to Brawn. With a little scroll they would only be able to read after they left. AJ immediately volunteered to switch tribes, which Laura shut down just as quickly. Ally too was keen to go, no doubt because she told them everything about the tribe and she believed she would be in charge. She then had the nerve to say that AJ runs his mouth too much, and lol. AJ said he wanted to go because it is likely a clue to an idol and as such, he can use it to survive another night. Rich too offered himself up, leading to the girls having a group meeting to chat through the merits. After landing on Rich, they joined Rich and the boys who all locked in the vote as Ally tactlessly told AJ majority will rule and he has no say. With that the tribe voted and as expected Rich was sent packing with a Brawn buff in one hand, and the scroll in the other. As soon as the tribe exited tribal council, he pulled open the scroll where he learnt he had won safety without power for two people at the next tribal council. No matter which tribe goes to tribal council.
We checked in with the new Brawn tribe the next day where Rich was vibing, thrilled to be living in a superior camp, complete with a fire. He reassured them that he is definitely part of the tribe and won’t be going back Kelli style. And while everyone was thrilled to have a new person to hang out with, trust and believe Noonan was happy to get rid of him at the first opportunity. If he doesn’t get sent back to Brains before the next tribal council, that is. Unaware that if she pulls a Nash, he will be able to save himself and another person. Worried that his job may be to sabotage them at the next immunity challenge, they decided it was smartest to sit him out of the next immunity challenge, just to be safe.
We checked in with the Brains tribe where everyone was living for the new zen mood. Well, everyone but Karin, who was annoyed that Rich managed to survive, despite her wanting him gone, given he was the cause of division within the coven. She realised that Laura and Logan were too emotional and reactionary for her liking, so got to work locking in a more zen alliance. She and Zara caught up with Myles, who floated the idea of them working together with him and AJ for more than just taking out Ally. With the girls catching up privately to lock it all in as their main alliance. Laura and Logan meanwhile caught up to lament their losses at tribal council, though felt they played it all perfectly and that Zara didn’t. And as such, they wanted to target her. Even though they literally got their way every tribal council until the Rich vote. Logan and Laura, on the other hand, were planning to work with Max and Kaelan to take control. Logan approached Max with the idea, who was obviously thrilled, as they quickly locked in the vote against AJ. And while it looks like we’re locked in 4-4, Kaelan appears to spend more time with AJ and Myles, so it feels like we’re being sold more of an even playing field than there actually is, no?
JLP returned for the latest reward challenge where the tribes would face off in a game of Sumo at Sea. With the victors getting a little interior design pack from Ikea, including cushions and rugs. First to face off were Myles and Zaddy Paulie, with my king making quick work of our pole dancing king. Noonan and Ally were up next, with Noonan too, making quick work of the Brain. Ursula and Karin, meanwhile, gave us a legit battle as neither woman was willing to give an inch. While locked in battle for 20 minutes, Karin told Ursula to not trust Rich under any circumstances and ugh, I love it. Sadly, it ended in a draw for both of them and while it was iconic, the challenge continued. This time, in duos to speed things up. Max and Kaelan then faced off against Rich and PD, with the Brawns snagging victory after Max dropped almost instantly.
We followed the victors back to camp where Kristin rejoiced to have a little comfort in her life. They then discovered tea, coffee and biscuits, and letters from home hidden at the base of their haul. Everyone poured a drink before reading their letters one at a time, as the tribe descended into tears. None more than Paulie, who’s dad literally called him a hero for surviving the bullying he went through at school and wrote that he is so proud of him for not just overcoming but thriving. We then learnt a little more about Zaddy Paulie and ugh, I love him so damn much. Give him the win right now, you cowards!
Over at the Brains tribe, the new alliances were busy locking things in as Zara requested Myles come up with a name ASAP today. Well, after locking in his closest ally AJ, that is. AJ thankfully was keen to work with the girls, given they give him good vibes. Not wanting to rest on his laurels, Myles decided he would even potentially loop in the other girls to get rid of Max too. Worst case, though, they needed to get Kaelan on board and while he doesn’t talk much strategy, Myles was confident he would work with him, given he warned him that Kent was out to get him. Kaelan and Myles caught up at the well, thrilled to work with Karin and Zara to get rid of Max. Sadly for them, Ally, ugh, was wandering around the jungle and overheard the conversation, so immediately took the information back to Max. Who was, in a word, livid. While Max gloated to us about having an army behind him, before straight up telling Myles he is watching him.
My love JLP returned for the latest immunity challenge where the tribes would race to swim out and collect a wooden grid before climbing up a slide to retrieve puzzle pieces and then solve the aforementioned puzzle. After Rich was forced to the sit out bench, the tribes were whisked out to the ocean to commence their swim, with the Brawns getting out to the tiniest of leads before Brains overtook them at the shore. After setting up their grids, the Brawns took back the lead as Rich tried to whisper to his bestie Max to throw the challenge as he has a massive advantage for him to use. Whether the Brains intended to throw it or not, the Brawn tribe continued to pull ahead giving Noonan and Morgan a decent advantage at the puzzle. As Myles and Logan diligently worked to close the gap, Rich kept muttering bomb squad to Max despite him having nothing to do with the success or otherwise of the challenge. Both tribes got stuck until Logan thought she had it, only to be wrong. Thankfully after Noonan figured it out, Brains almost snatched the win out from under them, until Myles dropped a tile and sent them back to tribal council.
Before returning to camp, Rich passed off the advantage to Max, giving him the express instruction to save Logan. And then muttered bomb squad multiple more times for dramatic effect. On the way back to camp, AJ whispered to Karin that he saw Rich hand over an advantage, while Ally too was terrified, given she heard him telling Max to continue their work. Which she took to mean the boys’ alliance, not his one with Logan and Laura.
Back at camp things got pretty chaotic pretty quickly, as Max summound everyone to tell them about the advantage, given everyone saw it go down anyway. He then went full Ally, sharing that Rich told him to use it to secure the alliance of boys, but he has a bigger issue he wants to deal with by taking out Myles. And to make sure he gets it done, he is going to exit tribal council with AJ, which is literally the worst decision he could make as then he can’t even vote him out. It also pissed off Logan, who thought they were aligned and the plan was to get rid of AJ, so making him immune means he has crossed her. AJ, Karin, Zara and Myles got together to figure a way out of the mess, with the girls happy to get rid of Ally given she is immovable but also runs her mouth at the drop of a hat. Plus, they think Kaelan will be thrilled to get rid of any woman, so it will be easy to get him on board.
Oh and Myles named themselves the graduates, because they’re above the high school drama. But Zara pointed out they also have the most degrees, so it makes sense for multiple reasons. After Myles pulled Kaelan into the alliance, he then caught up with Max, Logan and Laura where Max became the second person to pitch an Ally blindside to him in as many minutes. And while he thought their alliance was solid once more, the girls were pissed about the thought of getting rid of Ally. Instead, Laura now wanted to take out Zara. Presumably for reasons other than the fact Zara shops at Hermes and she is a witch. Which is now a read, given she is coming for Zara, when I would traditionally stan a witch on Survivor.
Laura’s logic was that Zara is too emotional and not logical, even though it seems like she is having quite the emotional response. Max caught up with the girls, with him completely fine with Zara going home. And to get it done, he was now planning to send Karin and Myles away from tribal council. Laura floated the plan with Kaelan and while he pretended to be onboard with the plan, he admitted to us that he is sick of being thought of as someone else’s number and as such, he was ready to make the decision that was best for him. Zara and Karin meanwhile realised something was up and that the girls were well and truly ready to put an end to the coven. So worried about Max and the advantage ruining their plans. Logan too knew Max was chaotic and his behaviour could screw things up for lots of people, and as such, vowed to just vote for whoever he wants at tribal council. As she begged him to just make a decision and stick with it, essentially. While he was just overjoyed to be the centre of attention.
At tribal council Laura spoke about the tribe being far more relaxed with Rich gone, despite being on edge. Logan admitted that Rich still looms large over the tribe given he handed Max an advantage. Very loudly, in front of everyone, AJ confirmed. Max then continued to showboat talking about how powerful he is and that he is looking forward to having some fun. He then handed the scroll over to JLP immediately with Zara talking about the fact they have plans for tribal council, but they need to see what Max actually does with the advantage before they know what they can actually pull off. Ally was confident Max would do what is best for the tribe – ugh – while Logan was worried that he would make a decision for the drama, rather than strategy and that frankly, she wished it was up to her instead.
Max then continued to be infuriating, talking about being at war with Myles because he is a snickering jungle rat. And that he would love to use the advantage to get his revenge (Side note, while calling Myles a rat seems super problematic, Myles has assured us on social that Max asked him permission before calling him any names). While Myles reiterated that the one thing about rats is that they survive. Zara suggested that Max seems to be playing emotionally, rather than strategically. He then got smarmy, talking about thinking he has something special tonight and as such, he wants to look after his alliance. While Karin told him to stop playing schoolyard games and send the damn people away.
Finally he was forced to play his advantage, sending Laura and Karin out of tribal council which is a combination that literally shocked each and every person. None more so than Logan, who was completely pissed at Max and damn, Max, you’re in danger, girl. Logan and Zara then appeared to reconnect, as Max told all the girls to vote for Myles. While Max gloated about being super confident he knows exactly what is going to happen and he is thrilled to be safe, despite being left at tribal council. With that the tribe voted and while Max was safe, he didn’t get his way, as he and Ally were gagged to see her booted from the game.
As soon as Ally arrived at Loser Lodge, she pulled me aside to let me know about the state of every relationship back at camp. In addition, she lectured me on how badly AJ had been playing that game. And while I wanted to scream, I had to admire her consistency, so pulled her in for a hug, thanked her for the comedy and celebrated her short run with a batch of Buffally Chicks in Blankettle.
Pigs in Blankets and buffalo chicken are two of my favourite things, so it is an absolute no brainer to combine them. The comfort of the sausages and flaky pastry are perfectly offset with the little bit of zing from the hot sauce. And frankly, it is perfection.
Enjoy!
Buffally Chicks in Blankettle Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 sheets puff pastry, defrosted ¼ cup Frank’s RedHot, plus extra for serving ½ tsp garlic powder ½ tsp onion powder ½ tsp paprika 16 chicken chipolatas 2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted Blue Cheese Dressing, to serve
Method Preheat the oven to 180C.
Cut each sheet of pastry into squares, and then the squares in triangles. Like the superior primary school sandwich cut. Brush pastry with half the hot sauce and sprinkle with the garlic and onion powders, and the paprika.
Working one at a time, wrap the sausages in a triangle of pastry and transfer to a lined baking sheet, seam side down. Combine the melted butter with the remaining hot sauce and brush over the pastries.
Pop them in the oven to bake for 20 minutes, or until golden and crisp. Serve immediately drizzled with extra hot sauce and a vat of blue cheese dressing. Before devouring greedily, but also in a way that felt like you were lecturing someone.
As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram.
Previously on Australian Survivor everything was on the up and up for the Brawns after winning their first immunity challenge. After a little scene with Zen talking about his hunger, the tribes arrived at the reward challenge where JLP announced that despite it only being episode three, it is a doozy. Eleven individual bowls of fries, ready for the loading. The Brawn tribe dominated the challenge 5-0, however Zen appeared to do something with his hand while wrestling Kaelan. Back at camp, Paulie found a clue to the hidden immunity idol in his bowl, so quickly went hunting while the rest of the tribe went swimming. It was then that Zen realised his hand had doubled in size. We then fast forwarded to the immunity challenge where both tribes were gagged to see him return from medical leave with a cast on his hand due to a badly broken finger, which sadly meant he was being pulled from the game.
As everyone wiped away their tears, we did a hard pivot and turned our attention back to the immunity challenge where they would race over a series of obstacles to collect rope and bamboo. They would then use said rope and bamboo to fashion a big ol’ stick to knock a bottle off a shelf to release a key. Next, they would use said key to unlock coconuts and then use said coconuts to knock out tiles. On the first obstacle Kent almost became the second medevac as he took a hard fall on his head. Both tribes were neck and neck – no pun intended – with Kent working at a feverish pace, clearly knowing his terrible game hasn’t made him many friends. Brawns started to pull away as the Brains descended into chaos, with Rich barking orders and annoying the hell out of all the women. Somehow things got closer with both tribes shooting coconuts, as Kent proved himself valuable to the Brains knocking tile after tile. Just sadly not as quickly as Ben for the Brawns, who secured their second immunity challenge.
Back at camp Kent immediately got back to work targeting Myles, lecturing him in front of the tribe, which only made him more dislikable. As such, the dolls rightly got to work locking in a plan against Kent instead, and immediately looped in Myles. After assuring him to not worry about any other plan he hears. The Coven joined the rest of the tribe to lock in the Kent plan, which frustrated AJ, who felt it was a waste of time given he will always be a target. But given AJ is literally wearing a different outfit in his confessional, I think he will be on the wrong side of the vote tonight.
AJ pulled Myles aside to float a plan to get rid of Logan instead, given she is popular, likeable and influential. Like Shonee, remember. With Myles apparently open to it, AJ went to Kaelan before finding a potential woman to flip to his side. Deciding Ally was the most likely to jump, he checked in with her and while she was open to it, he didn’t actually name names. Sadly she went straight to Logan assuming his plan was Rich, and floated getting rid of him instead. Which Logan, obviously, was 100% fine with. She then ran the plan past Laura, unaware that she was really the plan. While Laura tried to talk her out of it, she doubled down on hating Rich so much that getting rid of him would be best for her mental health. They then hilariously caught up with AJ, who had to pretend the plan was still Kent.
AJ finally pulled Ally and Max aside, who were gagged to learn that Logan was his actual target and as such, pulled the pin in the plan and went back to getting rid of Kent. As Ally assured him she is fine to get rid of Logan, just not yet. Despite AJ begging Ally to not say anything, she immediately took the information back to Logan, who was rightly pissed and looped in Laura, begging her to flip the vote on AJ and send him home instead. Which is 100% what would happen to a poker player, no?
We finally ventured to tribal council where Kent spoke about how much easier this tribal council will be compared to their first. Logan admitted she has an idea of who is potentially aligned, but still isn’t confident in knowing who to trust. Myles spoke about being a free agent and just wanting to prove himself as such to downplay the perception that he is playing too hard. Rich shared that there are multiple people on the block tonight, with Logan coyly pointing out someone may not even know they’re on the block. As she whispered to Laura about how much she wants to see AJ go. Kent then spoke about having an exceptional read on the situation and felt it was unlikely he was being blindsided. AJ spoke about the fear of making the wrong move and not getting your target out. Which Logan laughed about, admitting she is struggling to decide whether to go for instant gratification of getting someone out or planning three steps ahead. While Laura tried to caution everyone to think their moves out carefully.
With that, obviously, the tribe voted – Kent even more obviously for Myles – before the tribe stuck to the original plan and the votes piled up on Kent. Much to his shock and the utter jubilation of everyone at home. None more so than me. As Kent arrived at Loser Lodge, however, he was actually kind of sweet, so instead, I commiserated with him about his loss. Because as a super fan, that is one thing I can relate to. As such, I toasted him living out his dream, however short it may have lasted, with a gorgeously rich Kent Miller-Feuillendle.
Like the man himself, this little treat is oh so rich. But in this instance, it is a good thing. The custard is velvety and smooth, the pastry is crisp and light, creating the perfect quick and easy dessert. Only because this is a cheats version, obviously.
Enjoy!
Kent Miller-Feuillendle Serves: 8.
Ingredients 1 tbsp custard powder 1 cup milk, plus extra for glazin’ 1 tbsp raw caster sugar 1 tbsp vanilla extract 1 ½ sheets puff pastry, thawed ⅔ cup thickened cream 1 cup icing sugar 2 tsp glucose syrup 2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted 1 tbsp cocoa powder
Method Preheat the oven to 200°C.
Combine the custard powder and a quarter of the milk in a saucepan until well combined. Whisk in the sugar, vanilla and remaining milk and cook over medium heat for about five minutes, or until the custard thickens. Remove from the heat and transfer to a bowl, covering with a piece of cling film directly touching the surface and chill for a couple of hours for an hour or so.
While the custard is chilling, place the pastry on a lined baking sheet and top with a second piece of baking paper, followed by a second baking tray, and bake for 20 minutes. Remove the top trays and bake for a further five minutes, or until golden and crisp. Transfer to a wire rack and allow to cool completely.
To make the glaze, whisk the icing sugar, glucose and melted butter in a bowl with a little bit of milk, one tablespoon at a time, until you have a thick but pourable glaze. Remove a quarter of the glaze to another bowl and whisk in the cocoa.
When you’re almost ready to start assembling, whisk the cream until stiff peaks form and fold it through the custard mixture. Cut the pastry in half using a serrated knife and place one piece on a platter. Spread with half the custard cream, top with another sheet of pastry and the remaining cream before topping with the last piece of pastry. Pour over the white glaze, spreading evenly with a spatula. Drizzle lines of chocolate glaze lengthwise along the strip, before using a skewer or toothpick to create a pattern.
Pop in the fridge to set before devouring, greedily, thinking about burning the hats of teachers.
As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram.
Previously on Australian Survivor after starting the game strong, the Brawns took a backseat in the challenges before finally jagging a second win, this one for immunity, after Nash finally stopped trying to play the hero. With the Brains now forced to scramble, Kent got to targeting Myles in earnest, while the Coven hoped to take control and get rid of Rich instead. Indy, sadly, felt she was included in the alliance too late, so instead ran to Rich to let him know about the plan. Which led to even more, unnecessary chaos. At tribal council, Kent admitted to burning Max’s hat, before still trying to get rid of Myles, despite rendering his argument about Myles moot given he never burned the hat. Luckily for him, Indy misplayed it way worse and went from an easy vote with the girls to a quick ticket out of the game and back home.
We checked in with the Brawn tribe where Nash had decided he was wasting away despite it only being a week. Zen opened up about being angry about how much of a flop their meals had been. Meaning they’re totally winning a hearty meal at the next reward, right? Or is he busy coming for my gig with a rice and beans cookbook?
Back with the Brains, Kent was busy barking orders and acting like he is in charge of the tribe, while the rest of them bitched and moaned – rightly – about how much they hated his attitude. Logan lamented how annoying it was to see Indy ruin their majority, so pulled the Coven aside to figure a way to claw it back and free themselves of Kent. Oh, we also learnt about her life as a WAG and yeah, I am stanning Shonee 2.0. Zara meanwhile brought up Rich as their backup option and while he also annoys me, Kent is the worst. And when Max joined them to specifically beg them to get rid of, and I quote Max here, the little hobbit man, it seemed like a done deal for Kent.
So what could fuck this up? AJ. AJ, who I was just about to say was oddly hot, until he suggested he needed to keep Kent safe and take advantage of the girls being in the minority for a round or two. He went man to man to point out that the girls have been talking a lot of strategy together and as such, they needed to focus on them first. And as a poker player, he would know, apparently. Despite poker players historically doing terribly at the game.
The tribes met up with JLP for the latest reward challenge where they would face off 1 on 1 by racing over a floating net to collect a flag from the rival platform before their opponent. And TBH, given the winners would get loaded fries, I would literally give up my first born. The first battle was between Ally and Ursula with the latter making quick work of getting the Brawns out in front. Ben versus Rich was as equally disappointing as Rich fell flat on his face, handing Brawns another win. Followed by PD quickly besting Max, before Kaelan finally gave Zen a run for his money before he too jagged the Brawns yet another point. Though not without a close up on his hand and crunching sound, which feels very ominous. Karin then fought valiantly to save it for the Brains, before Noonan proved too strong, powered through and scored reward for the team.
Back at camp the Brawns were overwhelmed by the sight of their individual bowls of hot chips along with a literal buffet of toppings for loading. After they loaded them sky high, they sat down to smash their food before Zaddy Paulie discovered a map painted on his napkin. After stuffing it into his crotch – oh to be a napkin – Noonan started hunting around the reward table to see if she could find a clue, knowing that there should be something hidden amongst it. Paulie meanwhile was excited to try and figure out a way to sneak off from camp without being noticed, given he doesn’t get to do anything sneaky in the real world as an ambo. Being a King, he suggested he needed to find some sun to hang his jumper, so wandered off by himself to see if he could jag it.
While he was camply wandering around to find the perfect patch of sun for his jungle washing line, he was rewarded for being focused on the game with a big, fat immunity idol. While while the rest of the tribe had a breath holding contest in the shallows. Except for Noonan, who quickly figured out that he had found a clue so sidled up to him to confirm it. And while he tried to lie, he quickly admitted that he found the clue, though not an idol. Meanwhile in the ocean, Zen realised his hand was now double its size after the challenge and began to worry that he did something to it.
We fast forwarded a day to reunite with JLP for the immunity challenge where both tribes were gagged to see Zen return from medical leave with a full plaster cast on his arm. This immediately upset Kaelan, who ran to hug him and apologise for hurting him. I was then completely shocked to learn that Zen was being pulled from the game and well, shit, I was just growing to unashamedly love him. Everyone started to cry, pulling him in for a hug and talking about how heartbroken they are to see him go. And the only thing as sad as watching him trying to hold it together while talking about being strong, was seeing how guilty Kaelan was feeling.
As he wandered away from the challenge and the game, I pulled him in for a hug and told him how heartbreaking it was to see him be medevaced. Though hopefully he will follow in the footsteps of Nina and come back triumphantly, rather than Ross and Jackie, who tragically never got their rudemption. Sorry, redemption. Thankfully, he has way more resilience than I do, happily smashing a Chip and Chickzen Santon and heading on his way.
So yeah, this is a pretty quick and dirty recipe, but we were surprised to see Zen go so soon. But just because something is super easy, doesn’t mean it isn’t delicious. I mean, fried chicken and crisps on a sando? Sign. Me. Up.
Previously on Global All Stars the dolls starred in boobielicious Boobie Movie sequels in the vein of one of the best episodes of All Stars 2 featuring Thelma and Wheezy and the birth of doo-wa, but make it Barbie. But I’ve digressed. In record time. I mean, the first sentence! Everyone was kind of great this week, but Kween Kong dominated as the giant Jurassic Boobie and rightly took out her second win of the season. Then Ru had to split hairs, tragically going with Gala being overwhelmed by her look on the runway and Eva falling in and out of character as reason to be in the bottom. With the iconic Eva tragically going home.
Backstage the dolls were gagged to have lost Eva though Gala was thrilled to prove that she is a lip sync assassin on the global stage. But vowed to step it up this week to avoid showing those skills too often. Pythia meanwhile was heartbroken to be losing her besties week after week, which in turn breaks my heart because Pythia is the sweetest. Vanity spoke about how sure she was that she was going to lip sync because she is getting stuck further and further in her head. Kween sympathised about how hard that can be, sharing that she felt like that was her experience on her OG season. While Alyssa tried to give a pep talk about them being stars, as they remain while the room gets more spacious.
Oh and then Gala (almost) showed hole, which is important.
The next day the dolls were energised to slay another week, with Alyssa in particular thrilled to get out of the safe zone. Everyone congratulated Kween for getting her second win, before turning their attention to Gala’s survival. Thankfully she and Vanity were ready to rise from the bottom though, so all was right in the world. Or they are back in the bottom tonight. Talk turned to what this week’s challenge could be before Ru dropped by to put the girl’s through a little quick-drag flight mini challenge. With the make-up being done in the air, during a heavy bout of turbulence. And hot damn it was silly, fun and a solid reminder of the kind of challenges we enjoyed in the early years when there was an off season. That being said, there was allegedly a judging criteria somewhere and that handed Tessa the win.
Ru asked the dolls to partner up with the sister they would like to have a drink with, leaving Nehellenia alone. Leaving her free to pick her throuple. Tessa and Alyssa formed one duo, with Kween and Gala, and Vanity and Soa the others, while Kitty and Pythia’s couple was joined by the aformentioned third, in the form of Nelly. Ru then explained that the pairings are important for this week’s maxi challenge as before the season, they were all asked to pack a suitcase of raw materials, which their partner would now be using to design a cocktail dress. So congratulations Tessa, because Alyssa’s supplies are going to be expensive. While Kween will be naked, given Gala loves to serve body and Kween has a lot of it.
After dropping that bomb, Ru exited and allowed the dolls to go through their new supplies. Soa was thrilled with Vanity’s golden fabric while Vanity was hoping the emerald green would be enough to get her rudemption. As predicted, Tessa was delighted by her luxe new materials while Alyssa was ready to break down looking at the scraps she inherited from Tessa. Literal scraps. Kween was excited that Gala actually pulled together a bunch of fabrics, looking forward to serving another design, given it is her bread and butter. While Gala was hoping to serve glamour with the lovely fabrics she inherited. Our throuple were a little more apprehensive as Nehellenia inherited two lycras from Kitty, along with a lace, much to her disgust. Kitty on the other hand was loving her suitcase from Pythia.
As they got to work on their looks, Soa grew more and more nervous about the process, though was hopeful there were enough terrible designers in the pack to help her scrape through one more time. Given Alyssa can’t sew, Tessa has questionable taste and Nehellenia was in tears over her fabrics and unable to focus. Kitty briefly checked in to see if she was ok, before flipping it and confronting her for being ungrateful for the multiple, expensive fabrics she inherited when other girls just got one option.
Before the fight could explode, Ru dropped by to kiki with Tessa continuing to delight in how well stocked Alyssa’s suitcase was and how she will be using it to her advantage. Alyssa meanwhile showed off her collection of scraps. Ru praised Alyssa for turning look after look each and every week, cautioning her to not be too boring with her design and oh Alyssa, you (may be) in danger girl. Soa meanwhile was going to glue, drape and hope for the best, Vanity was going rich-glam bow, Gala was going luxe whore and Kween was planning to serve Gala by way of Grace Jones. Nehellenia was still pressed about her fabric though her design looked exceptional, Kitty was planning to twin it with Ru and Pythia had essentially done her dress already and it looked incredible.
Oh and then Kitty handed Nehellenia a tagline in the form of ‘margherita pizza’, which delighted Ru to no end.
After Ru departed again, the dolls quickly buckled down to pull their dresses together. Which in Vanity’s case was just making it over and over again, as she kept changing her mind. Two-thirds of the throuple, on the other hand, were vibing, while Nehellenia was now battling with the sewing machine.
Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to beat their mugs with Gala ready to serve body-ody-ody, sharing that she would be padding today and trying something new. Soa meanwhile was lightening her make-up as Michelle requested, as Kween sweetly coached her how to work with the skin tone. Tessa was hoping her gown would finally get Alyssa to adopt her and if not, she would like an expensive meal to congratulate her on her win. Vanity meanwhile was spiralling, as she tried too many options the day before and was left with nothing more than scraps, so was literally working paper on to the new gown she was pulling together in the minutes before stepping on the runway.
Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by the gorgeous Jasmine Tookes as Alyssa Edwards opened the 5 O’Clock Somewhere runway trying her best to enjoy her cheap fabric like only Katy Perry could. Alyssa’s words, which I co-sign. Tessa meanwhile was stunning, feeling all her oats and giving her best Alyssa. Soa’s dress lacked shape but hot damn, her make-up was stunning. Vanity somehow managed to pull the look together serving avant garde Poison Ivy, Kween served expensive frill neck lizard, Gala meanwhile looked like Alyssa Edwards doing Marilyn Monroe, Kitty was a silly delight, once again giving night on the town. Nehellenia looked lovely, though she herself hated everything about her ugly dress. While Pythia gave gilded glam and looked stunning, despite her wig not making much sense.
Alyssa, Kitty and Nehellenia were sent to safety before the judges lavished Tessa with all the praise for serving such a stunning look. And by Tessa, Alyssa’s fabrics. Soa’s softened mug was beloved, as was the colour, though she was read for the general shape of her gown. Vanity was praised for the concept, though read for the general execution as she opened up about struggling with her inner saboteur. Kween was praised for giving something different and finding a way to combine herself and Gala in the look. And getting her rudemption from Down Under. Gala meanwhile was praised for trying something different this week and while the dress wasn’t perfect, they lived for what she was trying to do. Oh and then Pythia was beloved, because she is Pythia. Again, despite the wig.
Backstage the safe dolls were delighted to be deemed as such, though Kitty didn’t waste any time throwing shade at Nehellenia for being so emotional. After clocking the tops, them and the bottoms joined the safe dolls with Tessa delighted by how much the judges lived for everything she served this week. Gala meanwhile was hopeful that she wasn’t the worst and ready to slide by, while Vanity was ready to lip sync and fight for another day. Kween asked her to try and relax and get out of her head so she could enjoy herself. Soa meanwhile knew she was in the bottom, though was so proud of how far she had come.
Ultimately it was Tessa that took out her first win of the season before Kween and Pythia were sent to safety. As was an extremely shocked Vanity, leaving Gala and Soa to lip sync to Jessie J, Ariana Grande and my girl Nicki’sBang Bang. And let’s just say the assassins proved how they got their titles, giving their everything and hitting every lyric, feeling all the feels and flipping around the stage. Sadly for my sweet Soa, however, Gala proved herself unstoppable, giving all the anger and attitude, saving herself and sending Sia out of the competition.
As is oft the case, it didn’t take Soa to find me backstage. All she had to do was follow my guttural, wailing cries, as I desperately tried to figure out why such a bright star like Soa was sent home early. She pulled me in for a massive hug and assured me that she loves Kween, Kitty and Alyssa, so doesn’t want me to hold it against them that Ru may be appearing to play favourites with her girls. I continued to sob for a minimum of four hours before finally telling Soa how proud of her I am, for pushing herself and showing the world just how talented she is. And while that isn’t a crown, there is a form of win in there somewhere. And if we don’t count that, we can always count the delicious batch of Soa de Muesli Cookies.
There is nothing more delicious that a muesli cookie. I mean, yeah, chocolates and cornflakes and nuts all make delightful fillings, but the simplicity of dates, oats, coconut and raisin are their own wholesome form of fun.
Enjoy!
Soa de Muesli Cookies Serves: 8.
Ingredients 100g pitted dates, roughly chopped ⅓ cup boiling water 1 egg 2 tbsp honey ¼ cup coconut oil, melted 2 tsp vanilla extract 1 ¼ cups rolled oats ½ cup flaked almonds ⅓ cup desiccated coconut ½ cup sultanas ¾ cup almond meal ½ tsp baking powder 1 tsp cinnamon
Method Preheat the oven to 180C and line a baking sheet with baking paper.
Pop the dates in a bowl and pour over the boiling water and leave to soak for ten minutes. Once nice and soft, mash with a fork to form a paste before mixing in the egg, honey, coconut oil and vanilla.
When the wet ingredients are combined, fold in the oats, almonds, coconut, sultanas, almond meal, baking powder and cinnamon to form a thick batter.
Divide the batter into 8, rolls into balls and flatten on the lined baking sheet to form thick mounds. Transfer to the oven and bake for 20 minutes, or until golden.
Remove from the oven and leave to cool on the tray for 10 minutes, before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely. And then devour.
As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.
Fame Hungry 