Blueberry & Jessicustard Pienaher

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Baking, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor 24 new castaways were dumped on the islands of Samoa. Split based on whether they were rule makers or breakers, Titans faced off against the Rebels to find which approach would prove superior. And if the first episode is anything to go by, the Rebels are going to demolish, as the Titans struggled to listen to each other, allowing the Rebels to expertly work together and win back to back challenges. At the Titans, Nathan, Frankie and Jaden were keen to take control given they identified themselves as cool and strong. Sadly for them, three does not a majority make, leading to Eden and Mark orchestrating a coup before they could even try to take control, icing Frankie and leaving Nathan without any friends.

Though still, he looks good in a speedo. And that matters.

The next day things were still delightful over at the Rebels as Alex rocked out in his speedo and the tribe were frankly just vibing and living their best lives. Despite the fact Kelli is at an 11 at all times, though to be fair, she was focused on Alex and how good he looks in said speedo, I relate to her on a deep level. Even if she is so irritating, everyone wants her gone ASAP. The tribe caught up around the fire to brush their teeth with charcoal and while it looked like they literally ate shit, they were feeling fresh and lovely. Tobias and Sarah meanwhile were slowly falling in love, chatting as they worked on the shelter. After learning about her career as a firefighter, she told us that she, Tobias, Peta and Alex have quickly locked in an alliance. While Raymond was busy running around the jungle, making things awkward and being all around sketchy. Which I hate, as he is adorbs. And to reiterate, works in DVDs, which is a dying market, so he needs this.

Over at the Titans things were still well and truly a mess as Nathan opened up to Winna about feeling left out after Frankie’s blindside, talking about how much he just wished he knew it was coming. And yeah, I’m sure he and Frankie wish they knew. While he was heartbroken to have lost someone he knew for two days, everyone else tried to act like they cared. Thankfully we pivoted to Eden and Mark, who joyfully reflected on taking control by orchestrating Frankie’s demise. Despite the fact Jessica had convinced herself it was all her idea. She well and truly started to feel her oats, and while she thinks she is in charge, it is clear Mark and Eden won’t let her believe it for long.

The tribes came together with JLP for the reward challenge where the tribes would compete in rounds playing tug of war over a huge crate. With the victors jagging the item within the crate in each round. Nathan and Jaden faced off against Alex and Feras, and while the Titans kinda made quick work of things, it was mainly because of Mark’s coaching from the sidelines rather than their strength. As the Titans celebrated jagging fishing gear, Peta and Aileen lined up opposite Caroline and Valeria. And quickly found themselves in a stalemate for 10 minutes before Mark, once again, coached the dolls into another win. This time just a couple of bananas, which honestly doesn’t seem worth it. Tobias, Sarah, Scott, Rianna and Kirby made quick work of Jess, Mark, Kitty, Viola and Winna, jagging the Rebels supplies to make smores. Before the final round saw Garrick and Raymond battle Eden and Charles for a massive tarp. And despite the Rebels starting strong, they quickly faded and found themselves overpowered as the Titans took out victory.

Back at camp the Titans were on cloud nine to finally have a win under their belts, vibing over the tarp, bananas and fishing gear. Mark in particular was thrilled to have a bestie in Eden and that they found another dynamic duo to align with, the Super Vs. Winna meanwhile almost choked while eating his banana after finding a clue hidden inside. He went for a swim with Jaden and shared it with him, kinda, though was a little bit too vague for Jaden to be able to do anything with the information. Thankfully he was pretty sure he knew where the idol was hidden, so planned to make a beeline for the palm tree the next day. Which totally means someone else will grab it today, right?

The next morning Winna woke up nice and early, so went for a walk to collect his idol and surprisingly it was still there! Once again proving that if Australian Survivor is going to do one thing consistently, it will instantly shut down my predictions.

The tribes reunited for the latest immunity challenge where they would race to climb a very tall frame, crawl through a twisted net and release coconuts from a shoot above their heads. And then shoot said coconuts in a basket held up by the rival tribe with the last tribe standing taking out the win. Once again the Rebels got out to an early lead after powering over the frame, before Aileen got stuck in the net. Jess then snatched the lead for the Titans before Raymond tied things back up as both tribes got the hang of the obstacle. When it came to the coconuts, the Titans started to struggle, allowing the Rebels to snatch back the lead which gave them a head start to weigh down the bag. Sadly Nathan was kinda an icon, weighing down the Rebels basket far quicker and giving Viola and Jaden more time to hold one. Though it was all for nought, sadly, as Alex got his eye in, loading up the Titans before they dropped out of nowhere, handing the Rebels another immunity.

Back at camp the tribe were heartbroken to have come so close to taking out victory but choking at the end. Speaking of choking, Nathan once again was winning me over in his speedo. As he went to wash off, Eden and Mark caught up and decided they needed to get Jess to identify a name so they used that to rally the tribe against her. Sadly for that plan, Jess approached Nathan to see what he was thinking, with Jess admitting she wants to focus on strength. And when Nathan floated Eden, she was on board, so the duo split up and got to work floating that name.

Sadly for Jess, she evidently didn’t realise how close Mark was to Eden and after catching up with him by the well, it was clear her confidence is likely going to bite her. After splitting up, Mark quickly got to work rallying the tribe against Jess, but hoped to keep it secret from Eden, as he is likely to spiral if he knew he was a target. And that would actually help convince them to get rid of him instead. Sadly for him, Valeria chose honesty, warning Eden that Jess was coming for him and as predicted, he started to spiral. He went person to person, floating a vote split between Jess and Nathan, just in case she has an idol and would get him out with a single vote. And while people seemed keen to protect him, the panic made Mark nervous.

At tribal council Caroline spoke about the early votes being easy as the relationships are all fresh and there is less need to lie. While Viola felt everyone was on the same page, she admitted she was always nervous for a surprise before Nathan shared he is more confident about this vote than the last. Despite also being confident about it last night, just wrong. Eden opened up about knowing his name had been thrown out today and as such, he is feeling far more nervous about the vote ahead. While both Nathan and Jess looked on nervously. Jess spoke about how it is important to stay a couple of steps ahead of the game, while Nathan reiterated his confidence. This time adding in the fact he hadn’t heard a name.

Jess then came out and spoke about her running the plan against Frankie, thinking it would win hearts and minds. Sadly, though, it only seemed to annoy Nathan, Jaden and Winna. Eden then asked Jess if she threw out his name, with her doubling down and arguing that she was always happy to hear other names, but nobody spoke up. While Mark ominously mentioned that the performances at tribal council really highlighted who he wanted to work with moving forward. With that the tribe voted and despite Jess feeling like a baller, it was clear her performance did not do what she thought it would, as the tribe rallied together to boot her from the tribe.

As she arrived at Loser Lodge, Jess was very confused about how it turned on her. And given I am kind of that guy, I outlined that being smug and performing for a jury that doesn’t start for a literal month, probably wasn’t the smartest move to make alliances. Particularly since she (thinks she) used Frankie, Nathan and Jaden being smug to rally the troops last episode. To her credit, Jess copped the brutal assessment on the chin and admitted she struggled to make connections, so the smugness came from the fact she was proud of overcoming that initial difficulty. Which made me feel super guilty as I plated up a Blueberry & Jessicustard Pienaher and toasted that accomplishment.

This pie gives off classic bakery treat energy in all the right ways. The crust is short and crumbly, the custard smooth and velvety and the blueberries tart and plump. And together, it is simply heavenly.

Enjoy!

Blueberry & Jessicustard Pienaher
Serves: 4-8.

Ingredients
250g flour, plus more for dusting
50g icing sugar
155g cold unsalted butter, cubed
3 eggs
1 ½ cups milk 
½ cup double cream
¾ cup raw caster sugar 
⅓ cup cornstarch 
4 tsp vanilla extract 
¾ tsp salt
500g blueberries 
1 tbsp lemon juice 
1 tsp lemon zest 

Method
Place the flour and icing sugar in a food processor and blitz to remove any lumps. Add 125g butter and blitz some more until it just starts to come together. Add an egg and blitz again. If it doesn’t come together, add a tablespoon of ice cold water, blitzing after each addition, until you have a smooth dough that just comes together. Once formed, shape into a disc, cover in cling and place in the fridge to chill for an hour or so.

Preheat the oven to 180C.

Dust a clean bench and a rolling-pin with flour and roll out the pastry until it is 4mm thick. Cut into 4-8 rounds and line pie pans. Trim off any excess dough and prick the base with a fork. Transfer to the oven and bake for ten-fifteen minutes, or until lightly golden and cooked through. Remove to a cooling rack until completely cooled.

While things get chill, combine the milk and cream in a medium saucepan and place over low heat until steaming. In a large bowl, whisk the remaining eggs with a quarter of a cup of cornstarch, half the vanilla, half a cup of sugar and ½ tsp salt until combined. Still whisking, slowly pour in the hot milk until it is all combined before transferring back to the saucepan.

Increase heat to medium and cook, whisking constantly, until the mixture boils and thickens. Remove from the heat and whisk in the remaining butter to combine. Divide the custard between the pie cases and pop them in the fridge to set for an hour or two.

In a medium saucepan, combine 2 tablespoons of cold water with the remaining cornstarch, and mix into a slurry. Add the blueberries, remaining sugar, lemon juice and zest, and the remaining vanilla and salt. Pop the saucepan over low heat and cook, stirring regularly, until the mixture thickens and loses its cloudiness. Remove from the heat and allow to cool for ten minutes before scooping on top of the pies and return to the fridge to set overnight.

Then, and only then, do you devour.


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Lunaytime DuBrownie

Baking, Canada's Drag Race 4, Canada’s Drag Race, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls were tasked with turning an iconic show as rival girl groups. Despite being a school yard pick, the bands turned out to be a battle between the younguns and the oldies. And as you can imagine, the younger dolls were feeling their oats as they slayed the song. While the oldies leant into being the underdogs and had a blast. Ultimately it was Aurora who took out her first win of the season, despite Venus obviously being a total slay. When Kiki, The Girlfriend Experience and Kitten landed in the bottom, Aurora opted to save Kiki with her golden beaver before Kitten sent poor Girlfriend to the house.

Backstage everyone was heartbroken to have lost their sweet sister, however they quickly moved on given Kitten ddidn’t pack her glasses and could barely read the mirror message. As they sat down to kiki, everyone congratulated Aurora on her win, with her explaining she saved Kiki because she could see the fire within her to compete. And you best believe she felt she was now going to thrive. That in turn made everyone question how Kitten felt about the save with her keeping it calm and assuring them she is cool to rely on herself. Aimee meanwhile wanted to keep us fed, pointing out that Luna was the weakest on the winning group. However Luna hilariously just told her she loved Aimee’s performance and didn’t bite. So hilarious, but a little boring. As we want drama.

The next day Kitten still felt bad about sending The Girlfriend Experience home, though joked Aurora also could have saved her. Though Nearah wisely suggested that maybe they should agree that each of them could only be saved with the beaver once, and while everyone made statements that sounded like agreement, Aurora hilariously told the girls she will be playing for the crown, not congenialty. Before that could be unpacked, Brad dropped by to put the dolls through their paces in a photoshoot mini challenge. Complete with metallic wigs. After getting into quick drag, Venus absolutely slayed and proved why she is a legit model. Melinda was camp and kooky, Kiki was on for every moment, Kitten served jokes, Luna gave leg, Aurora didn’t sweat at all, Denim gave silly glam, Nearah was all sex and Aimee had fun. Ultimately, though, it was Nearah that took out the mini challenge.

Brad then announced that for this week’s maxi challenge, they would have to pick through his closet and use the dregs to upcycle into a couture outfit. Things immediately descended into chaos as the dolls split up to pilfer, before talk inevitably turned to who can and can’t sew. For every Luna and Kiki who were confident, there were the Aurora and Venus’, who have never touched a sewing machine. Kiki found herself with a little bit of an advantage, given she found three of the same shirts which left her enough fabric to make a full gown. Kitten was planning to go dance outfit, while Aimee wanted to go Monet, with a shower puffs and towel look. Despite Kiki desperately trying to talk her out of it. Nearah meanwhile was stressed about trying to figure out how to glue fabric together. She wasn’t in the worst spot, however, as Melinda sat on the floor talking to herself in the hope of finding inspiration. Or a clue.

Bradley returned to kiki with the dolls, with Nearah opening up about her plans to give pop princess. Though Brad worried her concept was just pop. Melinda gloated about going to design school and that she would be inspired by Versace, though Brad cautioned her to give personality in the look rather than showing off her skills. Denim shared she would be giving patchwork knit, Luna was confident, Aimee was a mess and knew it before Kitten delighted Brad with her plans and Aurora vowed to give september-spring-summer. Kiki opened up about feeling like the pressure was on to show her personality, given she is a known designer. While Venus planned to give New Jersey goes to the White House. Until Brad cautioned she has impeccable looks and everyone is pumped to see what she serves. After he departed, Melinda found a patchwork plaid jacket which she decided to turn into a dress. And whether she likes it or not, she will be grateful for any feedback the judges have to give her, given she is there to learn. 

Oh and Venus started to spiral as she couldn’t find enough fabric to make any of her plans work.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone splitting up to madly pull together the rest of their looks. And read Aimee, who vowed to win, though clearly isn’t going to follow through. Talk turned to everyone’s coming out journeys with Venus talking about how supportive her family are. On the flipside, Luna opened up about having to runaway once she came out, given she knew her parents wouldn’t accept her. Aimee spoke about having a similar experience and how that impacted her mental health, and ugh, finally they have bonded and aren’t fighting. And I love them. 

Brooke, Brad and Traci were joined by Christian Allaire on the panel as the Out of the Closet runway kicked off with Kitten giving Sailor Moon by way of I Dream of Jeannie. Venus meanwhile gave street grunge realness before Aimee was an absolute mess in her shower gown. But bless, she had fun. Melinda gave Vivienne Westwood inspired something. But barely edited the jacket, TBH. Kiki gave architectural drama and ugh, it was good. Nearah was a cutesy pink and purple delight, Luna gave street vacation, Aurora served a blue gown and I honestly can’t even tell if I love it or hate it. While Denim was stunning in a dramatic knitted baboushka look, worthy of her grandma.

Luna, Aurora and Venua were sent to safety before the judges praised Kitten for being creative and serving texture, despite not giving all the shape. Aimee was rightly read for filth, despite how much fun she was having in her horrid look. Melinda was expecting wall to wall praise, so was absolutely shocked to discover the judges didn’t love how little she changed the original outfit. And for serving a basic shoe. Kiki on the otherhand received the flowers she both deserved and expected. Nearah on the otherhand was read for giving too much (skin) and not enough look, resulting in something lacking cohesion and polish. Despite some fun elements. While the judges lived for Denim’s dramatic knitted number, with a little Grey Gardens thrown in for fun. Obviously it was Kiki that took out the win, giving her the power to save one of Aimee, Melinda or Nearah with her beaver.

Backstage the safe girls were laughing about narrowly making it through, before Luna proposed an alliance. Which the dolls quickly agreed with. The tops and bottoms joined, with Kiki talking about feeling odd to go from being saved to now doing the saving, unsure who is most deserving. Nearah spoke about the fact she just lacked polish, though gave transformation and a vision. Melinda meanwhile didn’t want to be saved, given she feels like she has given her all this season but the judges are treating her like a punching bag. She then flipped out over the fact she gave all polish and was fully expecting to be in the top. She then trashed the judges and cussed everyone out before storming off.

Once Melinda came back, Aurora gave her a peptalk and told her to give this energy in the lip sync. Aimee finally got her moment and asked Kiki not to save her just because she is a friend and assured her she wouldn’t hold it against her. Though trust, she desperately wants to be here. Denim then suggested Kiki shouldn’t save Melinda if she wants to go home, leading to Nearah talking about wanting to stay and pointing out she should be saved given Aimee’s look is shit. This led to epic beef between them, as Aimee suggested she should be saved, leading to Nearah scoffing at her. Before they both asked Kiki to save Melinda so they could fight it out in the lip sync. Which is iconic behaviour from both of the dolls.

Ultimately Kiki did just that, saving Melinda and assuring her she deserves to be here while Aimee and Nearah, newfound staunch nemeses, took their places to fight. To Priyanka and Lemon’s Come Through, no less. And yeah, it was a slay as both of them channeled their simmering hatred into the song, desperate to get rid of the other. Complete with Aimee flipping off Nearah mid song. And as much as they hated it, the fact they both killed it in the name of getting the chance to end the other, meant that neither went home as Brooke decreed them both safe.

And led to even more awkwardness backstage as every quietly took their seats before Venus praised the dolls for a solid lip sync. Despite the fact everyone expected Aimee to go. Nearah apologised to Aimee and was glad to be able to have more time to heal their issues. Denim made it more dramatic, pointing out that it is weird for Melinda to have been saved given she didn’t want to be here. Which obviously fired her up at everyone as they all got cranky, before Venus turned the attention to Kiki, asking why she saved Melinda. Which is honestly the more pressing question. Everyone then got sassy with Kiki before Venus summed it up, telling Melinda that she is not to ever say she wants to give up ever again, given everyone is over it and wants to be here. While Kitten quietly pointed out that Kiki and Melinda clearly have an alliance.

After Melinda stormed off, again, she came back with everyone calmly asking her to believe in herself. Aimee then asked whether the safe girls were shocked to be safe, with Venus admitting she was surprised, leading to Melinda scoffing that she is definitely shocked Venus was safe. Aimee then started up again, calling out Luna’s look and girl, Aimee, your look was horrid so just suck it up, you killed the lip sync.

The next day the dolls seemed far calmer as Melinda opened things up with an apology for both wanting to quit and flipping out. Brooke dropped by before the mood could flip again. However she dropped by for the reading challenge, so maybe it will pop off again. Kitten was mean and cute, Aurora was brutal, Melinda was Melinda, Venus was cute, Nearah couldn’t get to the point, Aimee body shamed, Kiki was ageist, Luna focused on steaming and Denim was all sass. Which ultimately handed her the win. Oh and as is tradition, this week’s maxi challenge would see the doll’s playing the Snatch Game. They split up to talk through their choices with Venus debating between Fran Drescher and Tiger King, while Nearah was planning for Jennifer Coolidge. As was Kitten. Nearah realised Kitten had two options though, so pushed her to play the other with the duo fighting it out. Before both locked in with Coolidge and vowed to be the best.

Brooke dropped by to kiki, with Luna sharing she will play Mary Cosby, who Brooke thought was from The Cosby Show. Melinda was going to play famed homophobe Manny Pacquiao, Kitten shared she would be one of two Coolidges on the panel, while Aimee was locked in on Jesus, Kiki was going with Elizabeth Taylor, though her characterisation was just wearing a diamond. Denim was going with Julia Fox, and opened up to Brooke about how her autism has been a superpower this season, rather than the burden she was expecting. Aurora was going with Zhao Bing, Nearah locked in the second Jennifer Coolidge, focusing on being young, while Brooke wanted them to work together. Venus was confidently Tiger King, though wanted to do Fran Drescher, despite her not really having meat to the jokes.

The dolls split up to beat their mugs, talking about how nervous they are to play. Particularly Denim, given a Montreal doll has gone home on Snatch Game every year. We pivoted to set where Brad and Traci lined up as contestants. Venus was horny and silly as Joe, Melinda was perfection as Manny, Aimee’s Jesus had a gay old time while Luna was Luna, not Mary. Aurora’s Zhao Bing was fun, while Kitten’s Jennifer Coolidge had more jokes and Nearah’s accent was stunning. Kiki on the other hand was a absolute mess, while Denim was awkward as Julia Fox, which is exactly what she needed to do for the character, so 10 points. Melinda went from strength to strength as Manny and owned the challenge, while Aurora couldn’t land a joke, Luna was there and Kiki seemed to misunderstand the assignment.

Elimination Day arrived with Aimee convinced only Melinda should be safe. Venus lead the dolls in praising Melinda for the epic turn around, while Kiki was well and truly sure she’d be in the bottom three. Aurora too was worried, as was Denim while Luna was quietly hoping positivity may see her eek out some safety. As they split up to beat their mugs, talk turned to being public figures with Melinda in particular worried about the fans cancelling her for her tantrum. Venus assured everyone that they are on a show and as such, they need to relax and accept they are people. A important message for the public to remember..

Brooke, Brad and Traci were joined on the panel by the one and only Jaida Essence Hall as Denim opened the Steampunk runway as a clockwork fairy and yeah, she understood the assignment and I love it. Kitten gave industrial phantom of the opera hosting a circle, Kiki was a warrior in a black pantsuit, Aimee gave goggle titted pirate, Nearah gave cogged dominatrix, Melinda gave black widow assassin – her words – while Aurora slayed as a bronze metal spider like in Wild Wild West. Luna gave pleather bodysuit with a huge train of tulle, showing off all her assets in the process, while Venus was smoking as a crimson Bane. 

Kitten, Melinda, Kiki, Aurora, Luna and Venus were deemed the tops and bottoms, while the rest were sent backstage to untuck. The judges lived for how Kitten embodied Jennifer Coolidge, particularly since playing one of two was an epic risk. Kiki’s runway was beloved, though they obviously hated her performance on Snatch Game. Melinda received wall to wall praise for her Snatch Game and for finally delivering a nice runway. Aurora’s runway was deemed a standout, though the judges felt she didn’t give anywhere near enough as Zhao Bing. The judges loved Luna’s look though felt she didn’t do enough on Snatch Game. While Venus was universally beloved, for her runway and snatch. And TBH, the crown is honestly hers to lose at this point. Though this week, the win went to Melinda while Kiki, Luna and Aurora were up for elimination.

Backstage the dolls congratulated Melinda for her decisive victory, with her well and truly feeling her oats as she thanked her sisters for helping her believe in herself. She asked the bottoms why she should be saved, with Luna feeling like she deserves to be saved given she hasn’t been saved yet. Kiki acknowledged she was saved before, so didn’t want Melinda to feel like she should repay her for last week, while Aurora felt she should be saved because she deserves to be here and she was clearly not the worst this week. Venus jumped in and suggested Aurora is the right choice to save, while Nearah told Melinda to play it intelligently, given there is a crown at stake and maybe she shouldn’t save a threat.

Ultimately Melinda repaid Kiki for saving her the week before, clearly heeding Nearah’s advice to not save a threat. Aka Aurora. As Tate McRae’s she’s all i wanna be kicked off, it was clear that our threat didn’t need any helping hands as she absolutely demolished the lip sync, giving face, fire and even acrobatics. So it was hardly surprising as she was sent to safety and poor Luna exited the competition. Backstage she was obviously gutted, though honestly was more disappointed by the fact that in a season of so many none elims, she tragically didn’t benefit from one. Though TBH, her disappointment didn’t last long as I whipped out a big, fat plate of Lunaytime DuBrownie.

There is nothing better than an oeey, gooey brownie. That is, until you pop some toffee icing and gaytime crumbs on top, that is. Because that is infinitely better. Sweet, salty and oh so warming, they are the until dessert to wash away the pain.

Enjoy!

Lunaytime DuBrownie
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
125g unsalted butter, diced
125g dark chocolate, roughly chopped
3 eggs, whisked
1 ½ cups raw caster sugar
¾ cup flour
¼ cup valrhona cocoa powder
2 tsp vanilla extract
pinch of salt
150g butter, at room temperature
150g icing sugar, sieved
¾ cup Dulce de Nick Lachey
½ cup Gaytime crumbs

Method
Preheat the oven to 160C and line a 20cm square baking tin.

Pop the unsalted butter and chocolate in a heatproof bowl and melt over a saucepan of simmering water until combined. Remove from the heat. Whisk in the egg, caster sugar, flour, cocoa powder, vanilla and a pinch of salt until just combined. Pour into the pan and pop in the oven to bake for 30 minutes or until a skewer inserted in the centre comes out mostly clean. Set aside to cool.

While the brownies get chill, beat the regular butter using  a standmixer on medium until light and fluffy. Reduce speed to low and slowly beat in the icing sugar until before beating until combined. Then, finally, beat in the dulce de leche until the icing is just combined. Smooth the icing over the brownies and sprinkle with the crumbs and devour immediately. Or pop in the fridge for an hour to set if you like them dense, like I do.


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Drew Bastachio & Plum Danish

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 45, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Austin and Dee were slowly but surely falling in love, forming an unbreakable alliance in the process alongside their fellow Rebas. When Drew decided it was time to get rid of Julie, he told Austin, reiterating that Dee can’t find out in the process. Obviously he told her, given he is smitten, and she immediately told Julie, directing Julie to play the idol she stole from Austin to get out Emily. And while Julie was tempted to take a shot at someone else and solidify her game, she ultimately stuck to her bestie Dee’s plan and eliminated Drew’s second bestie and our queen, Emily.

Back at camp everyone was awkward AF until Katurah congratulated Julie for saving herself. Julie meanwhile was trying to contain her excitement, though pretending to be annoyed at Dee for ‘blindsiding’ her to keep their closeness hidden. Austin meanwhile was glad that he didn’t have to waste his amulet, meaning he has guaranteed safe this episode. So swoon. Dee on the other hand was giving an Oscar winning performance, pretending to be gutted that Julie played her idol and was now worried she would now be Julie’s target. Dee and Austin caught up, with her assuring him she never told Julie, before they locked in a final three alliance. Drew dropped by, happily believing Julie’s reads are on point and that somebody’s acting wasn’t. Julie then arrived and made things awkward, questioning when they gave up on the Reba 4 and while it was cute, Drew couldn’t even look her in the eye. So goodbye Drew, I guess?

The next day Katurah got up early to make a start on finding the replaced idol to block Julie from getting it. Sadly for her, Dee and Austin realised she was awake and as such got hunting themselves. And while she didn’t find an idol, Austin found her and made things super awkward. Despite her explaining she was just trying to make sure Julie couldn’t find anything, he cautioned that spooking Julie could lead to her hunting even harder. Everyone returned to camp with Drew and Julie catching up to clear the air, as Drew pretended Reba 4 making it to the end is still viable, while she pointed out that she just doesn’t know how to trust him. Drew, on the other hand, told us that he is just swallowing his rage and still plans to get rid of her next. After delivering Drew back to camp, Julie asked to talk to Dee and both of them acted angry as they scurried away from camp before they started laughing at how well they managed to pull off the blindside. Dee laughed about swearing on everyone in her life and how she is still close with everyone, assuring Julie that Drew is the one coming for her and as such, they need to rally new numbers to get rid of him. Immediately.

The tribe met up with Probst for an epic reward challenge where they would race from the ocean and then barrel roll through a course to collect keys which they use to unlock a slide puzzle. With the first person to win scoring an epic picnic on a sandspit in the middle of the ocean. Which they will arrive at by helicopter. Austin powered out to an early lead with everyone nipping at his heels to varying degrees of success. Drew was first to close the gap, leaving the besties to fight it out on the puzzle, as everyone slowly made their way to fighting with them. Before Austin solved the puzzle out of nowhere and snatched reward. Obviously Probst asked him to select a friend to go with him, opting for Dee before Probst gave him one other person, which was Katurah, to keep Drew and Julie back at camp to guarantee nobody starts throwing out his name. Given they’re focused on getting each other out.

Back at camp, the world’s most awkward throuple popped on a pot of rice and lamented how shitty it was to miss out. Even though they all understand why Austin didn’t choose them. Julie awkwardly told Drew she could go grab some peppers with Jake to make sure Drew’s babysitting isn’t ruined. As Drew tossed the lid of the pot into the shore, the duo were busy hunting for idols and causing chaos and yeah, I love that for them. As they returned to the shelter, the helicopter did a flyby to prove they weren’t on reward, with Drew continuing to be salty.

On the helicopter, the trio were giddily enjoying the ride as Katurah realised she was third wheeling as Dee and Austin held hands and rubbed knees, and ugh, it was sweet and I love this story and am a little shocked it took so long for us to get here. Was the love story happening from the first episode? I want to know and I want them to get married, Boston Rob and Amber style. Just as they decreed. I mean, the supercut of the two of them blushing, talking about how much they love each other was adorbs, and I love love, ok?

Back at camp Drew was still miserable as they finally got to work cooking the rice, as Jake pretended to be going to get changed so he could hunt for an idol. Sadly for him, he found something, however it was just a clue. Directing him to find the idol in a secret compartment of the raft. He then stripped down to his underwear to keep his story up as he finally grabbed the idol, vowing to leverage it to earn him votes at the final tribal council.

The tribe came together with Probst for the latest immunity challenge where they would use a leg to balance a ball on a long paddle, with the last one standing guaranteeing themselves a spot in the final five. And given the paddle has a lip, I honestly don’t see how this is that difficult. And as soon as I wrote that, Julie and Jake dropped back to back within minutes. Katurah was next to go, followed by Drew after an epic save around the seven minute mark, leaving Dee and Austin to battle it out. With the lovebirds being shady about how easy they are finding the challenge. After surpassing the dreamteam’s winning time of 21 minutes, Austin started to wobble and dropped while Dee just did not move, earning herself immunity as Austin hobbled over to congratulate his girlfriend.

Back at camp the tribe congratulated Dee on her epic victory as the lovebirds joked about being desperate to beat each other in every challenge. As Julie wandered off, Drew and Austin locked in Jake and Katurah on the Julie vote. Sadly for the boys, Jake knew he needed to do something bigger if he wants to win and as such, pulled Julie aside to float a Drew blindside instead. Which she was obviously thrilled about. Julie knew that Dee would also be down to write Drew too, though had to pretend it would be a harder sell to get majority. Jake quickly looped in Katurah who was down and while Katurah was confident she could convince Dee to join them, Jake didn’t want to get her onboard until after a tie, so she can’t claim the move as her own. Sadly for him, however, Katurah went to Dee and suggested that she would love to get rid of Drew giving her yet another feather in her cap.

Dee then pulled Drew aside to talk about how cleanly the merge has gone for him, loving how closely he and Austin have worked together, looking towards greats like JT and Stephen, and Tyson and Gervase. As he hoped it would all stay together so they can make it to the end. Dee and Austin caught up by the shore, with Dee worried about whether she should loop him in on the blindside, given he could easily play his idol for Drew and pull off the move she did just last week. Leaving her to battle between her head and her heart.

At tribal council Austin spoke about how grateful he was to not get much blowback for picking Katurah to go on reward and leave the kids to babysit. Julie joked about her kids turning on her, while Katurah spoke about how well the tribe are compartmentalising given they like each other but are all fighting hard to win. Drew and Dee spoke about how the relationships are also making things more difficult, as everyone is also lying to each other. Drew meanwhile shared that if he makes it through tonight, he feels like he has a very clear path to the end. Which Julie pointed out was a blessing, given she can’t even see how she could possibly get to the four let alone three. Before Drew gave a lovely analogy about how difficult Julie’s path is to the end, while Julie made a plea for everyone to play smart. Talk turned to how people are now thinking about who they want to face at the end, with Dee admitting she has a plan but knows that it is unlikely for anyone to get the exact final three they’re hoping for.

With that the tribe voted, Austin played his idol for himself and his closest ally not called Dee, Drew found himself blindsided from the game. As Austin looked on at Dee, heartbroken. Before we could find out whether it was the end of my favourite lovers, I ventured to Ponderosa to try and cheer up Drew because he was, in a word, pissed. Super pissed. I tried to pull him in for a hug to assure him that going out just before the finale is generally better to being cut first in the finale, however given he was so confident in his path forward, he wasn’t having it. That is until he had a Drew Bastachio & Plum Danish or five.

The earthy pistachio and tart, juicy plums work perfectly to counteract the crisp, fresh pastry. Flavourful, decadent and melt in your mouth, these danishes have the power to turn around even the worst of moods.

Enjoy!

Drew Bastachio & Plum Danish
Serves: 4-8.

Ingredients
250g pistachios
250g unsalted butter, at room temperature
250g raw caster sugar
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 eggs
2 sheets good-quality butter puff pastry, quartered
8 davidson plums, pitted and sliced

Method
Preheat the oven to 200ºC. Pop the nuts on a baking tray and toast in the oven for 5-10 minutes. Remove from the oven and allow to cool (though leave the oven on).

Once the nuts have cooled a little, pop 200g of them in a food processor and blitz until they have formed a meal-like consistency and no further. Add the butter, sugar, vanilla and eggs and blitz until well combined.

To assemble, cut the squares of pastry into circles, spoon a dollop of the pistachio mixture in the middle and top with some plum, leaving a 2cm rim around the edge. Roughly chop the remaining nuts and sprinkle over the top. Pop in the oven and bake for twenty minutes, or until golden, puffed and crisp. Then, obviously, devour.


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The Girlfruitmince Piexperience

Baking, Canada's Drag Race 4, Canada’s Drag Race, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls went into marketing mode as they hosted their own little spots on QVShe. And let’s just say, it was freaking damn terrible. Like bomb after bomb, except for Venus in her skit and the duo of Kitten and Melinda. Who ironically were the ones everyone else avoided. Despite being a strong duo, it was ultimately Kitten that took out victory. After Brooke warned all the other dolls they were lucky they had to stop at the bottom three, she announced the new twist of the season, the Golden Beaver. Where the winning queen would be able to save one of the bottom three from lip syncing. With Kitten wielding her power to save The Girlfriend Experience. Leaving Luna to send Sisi home, giving the ultimate that’ll do.

Backstage Luna was shell shocked to have survived the lip sync, while Denim was already missing her Montreal sister. Vowing to win the whole competition in her honour. Aurora meanwhile was thrilled her Toronto sister had survived. Before Aimee decided it would be a wonderful idea to verbalise that she wasn’t vibing with Luna’s lip sync performance. Kitten meanwhile directed things to the big old twist, talking about the potential for alliances helping people make their way to the end. She explained to Luna that she didn’t save her as she just was closer to Girlfriend. While also hoping Girlfriend would return the favour in the future. Luna however did vow to return the favour, and suggested she would save only people that would benefit her making it further.

The next day Girlfriend was thrilled to not be a Porkchop – when it is clearly Juice Boxx – before Melinda led the girls in congratulating Kitten on her win. Again. Denim meanwhile wanted to find out how everyone else would vote with the power of the beaver, with Kiki wanting everyone to stick with the judges critiques. Nearah on the other hand wanted everyone to try their hardest to get rid of the threats. To help her get to the end.

Traci dropped by to put them through their paces in a press junket mini challenge. Complete with 20 minute quick drag. First up to promote The Godmotha 3 was Melinda who was so messy and patronising, and I loved it. Venus was obviously polished and demented, while The Girlfriend Experience just bomb, bomb, bombed again. While Kitten gave Liza, Aurora was shrill, Kiki was horny and Denim was detached. Obviously Melinda won, given she was the only one committing to a bit. And for winning, she was a team captain in this week’s girl groups maxi challenge. While Luna, as the survivor of the lip sync, was the other.

Melinda quickly jagged Kiki, Kitten, The Girlfriend Experience and Aimee for her band while Luna grabbed Venus, Aurora and Nearah, leaving Denim to round out group two. Giving us a battle of the oldies and the younguns. And given Denim was last to be picked, she got to select the songs, opting for Heartbeat, a love song. Giving the old gals Heartbreak. As is tradition, they would write lyrics and put together choreo and looks, all under the mentorship of pop star Rêve.

The dolls split up to figure out their genre and how best to serve their songs. The oldies locked on the band name Vixens, while the dolls went with Love Bugs. Before promptly pulling together an alliance. The bands started to listen to their songs and got to work on their lyrics, with Aurora dropping line after line, while at the other end of the pack, Girlfriend just struggled. 

The Love Bugs were first up to record with Rêve, with Denim slaying albeit a little slowly. Luna meanwhile was positively glacial, as poor Rêve desperately tried to get her to give even a hint of energy. Aurora meanwhile spit bars like it was nothing, Nearah went for some money notes before Venus, once again, was perfect and damn, am I stanning? They traded out with The Vixens with Melinda actually a diva, Kiki meanwhile struggled and got stuck in her head and Kitten gave old cabaret. Nothing more, nothing less. While Girlfriend slowly got more comfortable throughout the record, before Aimee gave sass in a Bebe Zahara kinda way. We ventured to the mainstage where The Love Bugs got to work on the choreography where Nearah and Aurora took control and absolutely slayed, while Denim struggled. When The Vixens hit the stage, Melinda took control and immediately got under everyone’s skin.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone splitting up to beat their mugs and get ready to slay the house down boots. Denim meanwhile opted to be shady, asking why she was picked last. While Aimee opened up about getting in her head about the fact she was singing in her second language, though she is super proud of herself. Nearah meanwhile opened up about her zaddy fiance, before Denim spoke about her husband and how thrilled it is to be with another trans man. Kitten meanwhile opened up about her boyfriend and how supportive she is of Kitten. Aimee spoke about getting divorced just before coming to the show and that she is ready to turn it out.

Brooke, Brad and Traci were joined by Rêve on the panel as The Vixens debuted their hit song Heartbreak and let’s just say, this was the Melinda Varga show and I 100% stan her. Kiki meanwhile couldn’t lip sync to her own lyrics, Girlfriend struggled with the choreography and Kitten was a little flat. Aimee meanwhile was a surprise, giving attitude and charm and ugh, I love to see it. When it came to The Love Bugs performance of Heartbeat, it was polished, cohesive and oh so stunning. The moves were camp and silly, yet still a little sickening. While Luna didn’t have the same energy as the rest of her sisters, it still kinda worked. Though maybe that is just because the others really got a star moment.

On the Sunglasses at Night runway Aurora was stunning in fiery red and black, all hanging from her shades. Luna gave ruffle pleather crow, Nearah gave purple hooded dame, Denim was bright, beaded and wearing all the sunnies while Venus gave terminator drag diva. Aimee was glorious in green and blue, like a denizen of Oz. Girlfriend gave full dominatrix, Melinda gave Madonna Frozen with face-shield glasses, Kitten gave goon sack daddy before Kiki closed the show looking perfect in a mariachi ghost demon look, complete with big ol’ bow.

Aimee, Kiki, Denim, Girlfriend, Kitten and Aurora were deemed the tops and bottoms, as the rest of the girls were dismissed backstage. Aurora received wall to wall praise for each and every thing she did this week, from the killer lyrics, the on point choreography and most importantly, giving the best runway of the night. Denim too was absolutely beloved while the judges lived for everything Aimee did this week, particularly since she woke up the song and finally had her breakthrough. Girlfriend meanwhile was praised for showing a little more of herself, particularly on the runway, however they clearly hated her performance during the song. Kitten was read for being a little bland and not being connected to the performance. And while Kiki’s runway was absolutely perfect, she was read for not giving enough in the challenge.

Aurora was deemed the winner of this week’s challenge and named the holder of The Golden Beaver, while Denim and Aimee were deemed safe. When they arrived backstage Melinda was busy talking about how gutted she was to see her bandmates make up the bottom. Aurora giddily shared that she took out the first win of the season, while everyone was shocked to hear Aimee was in the top. Talk turned to the power of the beaver, with Kiki disappointed that she isn’t giving the judges enough, assuring Aurora that if she is saved, she will bring the fire and make it worth it. Kitten meanwhile spoke about the judges thinking she was tired, while Girlfriend was disappointed to once again be read for being herself.

Ultimately Aurora opted to save Kiki, leaving Kitten and Girlfriend to battle for the last spot to Rêve’s Tongue. And while the song kinda felt like it would be up Girlfriend’s alley, Kitten was hungry for the win and absolutely demolished, giving camp, as she hit every lyric and used every inch of the floor. Which was enough to let her fight another day, as The Girlfriend Experience was sent out the door. As Girlfriend arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that she is talented and a star, and as such, she shouldn’t let a competition make her feel any less. Which cheered her up, a lot quicker than expected, and as such, we toasted her success with a fresh batch of The Girlfruitmince Piexperience.

I always hated fruit mince pies as a kid, as like Rachel Green making a trifle, I thought they used mince. But then I got a taste of Fruit Mince Pylie Jenner and it was the gateway to the majesty of the traditional kind. Rich, spiced and sweet, they are the perfect festive treat to get you to the end of the year.

Enjoy!

The Girlfruitmince Piexperience
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
225g cold butter, diced
350g flour
100g raw caster sugar
¼ tsp kosher salt
300g mincemeat
1 egg, beaten
raw sugar, to sprinkle

Method
Using your fingers, rub the butter into the flour until it resembles wet sand. Then mix in the caster sugar and salt, kneading with your hands until it just forms a ball. Form into a disc, wrap in cling and pop in the fridge to chill for an hour.

Heat the oven to 180C.

Remove the dough and roll out until it is 3mm thick. Cut into 5-10cm discs and place half into mini pie pans. Spoon in some mincemeat, store bought is fine. Top with the other discs, pressing the edges to seal. Brush the tops with egg and sprinkle with the raw sugar before slicing a small vent in the top of each.

Pop the pies in the oven and bake for 20 minutes or so, or until golden. Remove to cool in the tin for 5 minutes before popping out and placing on a wire rack to cool completely. Or devouring, no judgement.


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Couscousisi Superstalad

Canada's Drag Race 4, Canada’s Drag Race, Salad, Side, Snack, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race 12 queens arrived in the Werk Room, ready to join what I would argue is a pretty iconic winner’s circle. And while we lost the Canadian versions of Trixie and Katya way too soon – as is tradition – it was a hard fought battle before Giselle snatched the crown, joining Icesis and what’s her name? Priyanka, in the winner’s circle. And Ra’Jah, technically. That was then and this is now, as Brooke and Co. are back and are packing a new twist. Which we will learn about later, as first we have a ball. But again, getting ahead of myself here, as we’ve got queens to meet.

First to enter Season 4 is the world’s oldest twink Venus and well, her entry look is kinda horrid, think slutty ice skater in velvet. And then, for reasons, she was forced to exit. Denim was next, serving denim anime goddess and I love everything about her. She too then exited before Kiki Coe arrived serving fashion dragon and fun fact, has made some of the best runways to appear on the show. After she bounced, Luna DuBois arrived giving first-season Lala Ri by way of Mayhem Miller, and I love it. Sisi Superstar arrived giving goth Barabarella, Melinda Verga served pride flag drunk aunt, Kitten Kaboodle arrived to rep as the oldest queen in the franchise and well, I stan, as she seems fun. Nearah Nuff served filler icon, in a Marilyn inspired look that literally fell apart, Aurora Matrix served terracotta warrior-Naomi Smalls realness and ugh, crown her now, I already stan. Then The Girlfriend Experience arrived serving stripper anime and well, I stan her too. Aimee Yonce Shannel dropped by giving red latex showgirl chic and yeah, it was a serve, TBH. 

Everyone was then corralled back into the Werk Room at once, for reasons. As they sized each other up or giddily pretended they didn’t tell their besties they were on the season. We then learnt that there was only space in alcoves for three queens, instantly forming cliques with the pretty girls and designers instantly finding their friends. Aurora meanwhile was thrilled to see she wasn’t the only queen of asian descent, I assume because she can’t be a first boot like it seems to be the tradition on the mothership, but I digress.

Speaking of Ru, she dialled in to announce the arrival of Brooke who welcomed her newest daughters into the fold. With the help of Brad and Traci. They then warned the queens that there will be twists and turns all season long. The first being that they would be starring in a ball. And the first category is already done, with the entrance looks judged and delivered. Brooke, Brad and Traci all gave a rosebud to their fave looks so far with Brooke snatching Denim, Aimee beloved by Brad and Traci, for reasons, living for Venus. They then shared that the next category was Shimmering Showgirls, while they would stomp the runway in Me Myself and I, aka best drag. 

After the judges left, the rosebuddies celebrated being frontrunners for the win. Though Melinda rightly called out Venus for getting one, given her look was so basic. Thankfully they didn’t fight for long, focusing on prepping for the second category. Sisi and Denim were vibing before Kitten gagged the dolls with her age and the fact she has been doing drag for longer than most of the dolls have been alive. 

Aurora kicked off the second category giving geisha showgirl in all the right ways. Luna slayed given slutty Marilyn burlesque, Denim gave harlequin clown, Kitten gave polished puffy showgirl, Kiki leant into classic showgirl and lived her best life while Nearah was an orange delight. Melinda gave us a golden bodysuit, Aimee was stunning in a carnival hot pink bodysuit before Venus gave us something different in emerald green as she stripped. Sisi gave a sexy devil, as she hit her head on a lamp and fell off the couch. The Girlfriend Experience meanwhile was perfection as the Ringmaster before getting fully nude.

Backstage they finally got to dedrag with Aurora and Venus living their twink fantasy, while Kitten was hopeful she would be the mama of the group. Denim tried to make things shady, asking who the dolls think will be in the bottom tomorrow with Sisi and Nearah both admitting they were worried. The latter talking about being concerned their inner saboteur is already hard at work. While Venus and her rosebud were thrilled to slay.

Elimination Day arrived with Tegan and Sara just wandering on to set to welcome the dolls and announce themselves as guest judges and fun fact, they are sisters, not dating. That is Tatu, if anyone else forgot. Oh and Tegan and Sara’s mum is proud of them for guest judging which is cute AF, so maybe I stan. With that gag out of the way, the dolls split up to beat their mugs, with Nearah galvanized to redeem herself with the third runway. Talk turned to their pronouns before they turned their attentions to how politicized drag has become. The Girlfriend Experience opened up about being shamed by Marjorie Taylor Greene, famed thundercunt, leading to death threats and her having to close down her social media to keep herself safe. She and Denim then spoke beautifully about what they’ve gone through as trans people.

Brooke, Brad, Traci, Tegan and Sara took their places on the judges panel as Venus opened the Me Myself and I runway looking perfect as a feathered Carmen Sandieg-ho. Sisi gave Y2K goth chic, Kiki was perfect in pearls as a goddess. Lula gave Mugler CEO, Aurora was a stunning teal dragon, Nearah gave neon rocker Cyndi Lauper and Kitten was a stunning old dame. Aimee was an african queen in blue and orange, while The Girlfriend Experience looked gorgeous in beige ruffles. Melinda gave golden glam right out of Studio 54 while Denim was an udderly ridiculous clown cow.

Aurora, Aimee, Luna, Kitten and TGE were deemed safe and shipped backstage to untuck before Venus received universal praise for each and every look. And most importantly for giving diversity, polish and turning a damn show every time she hit the floor. Despite her entry look being so basic, to me. Sisi was praised for looking good not great, though read for being awkward, given they couldn’t tell if she was deliberately trying to bomb the performance in look two. Kiki was beloved for giving three stunning looks, gagging the judges with the fact she makes all her looks. Though Traci wanted her to give some life in her mug. Nearah was read for not being able to work through the fuck-ups in the first two looks, thought they loved the third look for being so damn fun. Though Brad was worried she could only sell corset. Melinda was all energy as the judges read her for not being able to sell any of her concepts, while Denim received 10s across the board.

The tops and bottoms joined the safe girls, with Venus proudly telling them she was completely beloved by the judges. Picking up that not everyone was so happy for her. Denim too was proud to receive top marks, while Kitten just assumed Kiki was a top. Sisi tried to pretend she was beloved, delighting her sisters with the fact she was having fun despite being in the bottom. Denim thanked her for being such a light in their community, no doubt assuming she would be going home. Nearah accepted she didn’t do her best, so agreed with their critiques, while Melinda was sure it would be her lip syncing with Sisi. Venus asked her to explain to the dolls why she has been struggling thus far, with Melinda sharing that her partner had a mini stroke just before she left and watching everyone rally around her was just beautiful, TBH.

Ultimately Kiki was sent to safety, followed by Nearah before Brooke announced the next gag, explaining nobody would be going home tonight and instead, the top two would be lip syncing for the win. That obviously meant Melinda and Sisi were safe, leaving Denim and Venus to battle to Feel it in My Bones by Tiësto feat. Tegan and Sara. And while the song is an absolute bop – remember, I’m a Tegan and Sara stan now, ok? – the lip sync was kinda one sided as Venus is a damn star. Denim was cute, fun and absolutely in her lane, but Venus had that fire that you just couldn’t look away from. And as such, she rightly took out the first win of the season. And I will stop bitching about the entry look.

Backstage the dolls were gagged, gooped and absolutely delighted that nobody went home, while Venus was just delighted to have been able to win the lip sync in front of Tegan and Sara themselves. Sisi and Melinda were thrilled to be safe, with Sisi now ready to redeem herself. While The Girlfriend Experience just wanted them all to lift up the seat when going to the bathroom, as she was sick of sitting on piss.

The next day Melinda appeared to be perked up after her near exit, while Venus was just proud to have done the thing. Angela Basset style. Everyone laughed about how they kinda wanted everyone to go home, while Kitten, bless, was just looking forward to improving incrementally because she is old and wise. So, mother. Brooke dropped by to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge, the doll’s would host QVShe episodes, selling the best and brightest products Brooke kindly provided. Shades, ponchos, ugly flats and pocket bras. And given Brooke is messy, she let them pick their groups with TGE, Aurora and Venus forming one, Nearah, Luna and Aimee another, and Sisi, Kiki and Denim the last trio, leaving Kitten and Melinda to be the only duo. Venus then stole the bra for her group, Nearah went with the poncho, Kitten got the flats and Sisi grabbed the sunnies.

Everyone split up to work through their presentations, with Denim spiralling about having a comedy challenge in week two. Nearah and Luna were worried about Aimee having English as a second language and how they could help her shine. Melinda meanwhile was cut the dolls didn’t want them. Oh and TGE was doing the old man voice from Family Guy and just like that, the dolls had a plan. Sisi meanwhile was swinging for the fences, coming up with lots of camp ideas to stand out and work her way up, while Denim worried she was fading. Kitten and Melinda meanwhile were completely zen, being silly and planning to have fun and yes and their way through, making everyone else a little nervous. Nearah meanwhile was hating her partners, while Aimee worried they kept patronising her when she wants to be taken seriously and is this just going to be a mess?

After quickly beating their mugs the dolls went to set where Denim, Sisi and Kiki got to work selling the shit out of the shade blocker goggles. And by selling the shit out of it, they bombed within 30s and yeah, it was hard to watch. Sisi in particular, despite the fact she was cracking herself up. Melinda and Kitten were the polar opposite, giving cohesion, polish and nailing the assignment. Making all the dolls laugh and wish they didn’t assume the oldies would bomb. Venus, Aurora and The Girlfriend Experience kept things good as Venus and Aorora nailed their southern girl schtick, until The Girlfriend Experience just stopped after coming out of the gate strong. As she kept breaking and left the others to carry her. Nearah, Luna and Aimee then closed the show, bombing, try as Nearah and Aimee might.

Elimination Day arrived with Denim putting all her hopes on her runway saving her, while Kitten and Melinda were thrilled to prove themselves and singlehandedly carry the challenge. While Denim and Co hilariously owned bombing, Nearah, Luna and Aimee bickered over who was the reason for their predicament. After splitting up to beat their mugs, The Girlfriend Experience asked Kitten about the first time she saw drag, leading to a beautiful history lesson. Talk turned to terminology, with Denim and The Girlfriend Experience helping everyone make sure they aren’t offending anyone and ugh, it was sweet. Venus meanwhile asked if anyone was across the Canadian queer history with them admitting they kinda have no clue, accept for Aimee who had to learn to pass her citizenship and of course. Because if we learnt anything from Hamilton, it is that only immigrants get the job done.

Brooke, Brad and Traci were joined by the current pucking reigning, Ra’Jah D O’Hara on the panel and ugh, I love her so. On the Gemstones runway, Sisi Superstar gave purple people eater come queen cosplayer. Kiki was a gloriously emerald glamazonian, Denim served iridescent bluebottle, while Kitten gave warrior queen and looked good and Melinda gave ice queen realness. Venus was a slay in a diamond encrusted bodysuit, complete with diamond headpiece. The Girlfriend Experience was a gloriously pearled ethereal beauty, Aurora was a stunning jade goddess, Luna gave slutty Tigger, Nearah gave rhinestone cowgirl who became the CEO, in red before Aimee closed the show in a shimmering sapphire gown which I can’t tell whether is good or an absolute mess.

Sisi, Kitten, Melinda, Venus, TGE and Luna were deeed the tops and bottoms of the week, though Brooke warned the safe girls some got lucky there could only be three bottoms. Sisi was praised for improving her look, though still read for being a mess. And that was before they got to the challenge, given the judges hated literally everything she did. Kitten was absolutely beloved – as she deserves – for the challenge while everyone also lived for the look. Melinda too received top marks for both portions, though Ra’Jah cautioned her to have fun on the runway. Venus’ runway was the best of the week, though the judges equally loved the character she brought to the challenge. TGE’s runway was glorious, though the judges wished she gave more presentation. While her performance in the challenge gave the judges blue balls. While Luna was read for filth for the challenge, though her runway was deemed fun.

Kitten was then announced the winner of this week’s challenge and told that as the winner, she would hold the power of the Golden Beaver which saves one of the bottoms from lip syncing. With that, they ventured backstage to untuck and loop in the other queens and let’s just say, they were gagged and ready to make lots of new friends. TGE started to breakdown about being in the bottom, leading to Venus giving her a huge peptalk. Luna meanwhile was zen about it, while Sisi admitted she was gutted to be in the bottom yet again and how triggering it was for her. Kitten then asked the dolls to pitch why they should be beavered, with TGE begging through tears. Luna was poised as she calmly spoke about needing to be here while Sisi said it was fair for her to be in the bottom and as such, shouldn’t be saved.

They returned to the mainstage were Kitten got her beaver out and promptly saved TGE, leaving Luna and Sisi to battle for the last spot. As Avril’s I’m With You kicked off both dolls leant into the emotion of the song and ugh, this is taking me back to High School. Sisi slayed the lip sync while Luna was kinda subdued, which it seems like the judges wanted, as she was saved, leaving Sisi to become the Juice Boxx of the season. While Sisi was gutted to go home so soon, I quickly pulled her in for a hug and assured her that her two episode run, specifically falling off the couch, is iconic. So taking that and the fact she is the first boot, she will always be beloved. And that was all it took to cheer her up, as we toasted an epic career with a fresh Couscousisi Superstalad.

This little number is gloriously herby and oh so sweet, swiftly putting an end to the no-friends-with-salad discourse. Though given (pearl) couscous is involved, is it really a shock?

Enjoy!

Couscousisi Superstalad
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
1 ½ cups pearl couscous
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
¼ cup olive oil
1 tsp Dijon mustard
½ tsp honey
1 lemon, zested and juiced
¼ cup parsley, roughly chopped
2 tbsp mint, roughly chopped
2 tbsp dill, roughly chopped
½ cup cherry tomatoes, quartered
½ cup chargrilled capsicum, roughly chopped

Method
Bring a pot of salted water to the boil and once rolicking, add the couscous and cook for 10 minutes, or until tender. Drain and leave to cool slightly.

While that is on the go, combine the oil, mustard, honey, zest and juice with a good whack of salt and pepper.

Transfer the couscous to a bowl, toss through the dressing, herbs, tomatoes and chargrilled capsicum and devour. Like an icon.


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Katella Danitch

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race UK the dolls starred in high-end English drama screen tests. And after dominating the puppet mini-challenge, Ginger was able to lock in the pairs. Wisely taking Kate for herself and splitting up Tomara and Michael, so they wouldn’t rival them as a comedic powerhouse. Obviously Kate and Ginger slayed the most with Kate finally take out her first win of the season. Despite struggling through filming, DeDe and Tomara were demented messes. Cara meanwhile struggled to give light and shade while Michael was read for not doing more. As such, they were arbitrarily popped in the bottom, where Michael sent poor Cara home.

Backstage the dolls were gagged by the fact Cara went home, none more so than Michael who was overwhelmed with emotion about almost going home. And having to send Cara out the door to save herself. Everyone spoke about how this elimination felt different to the others and that they were at a loss for words. Well, except for Kate, who joked that Michael shouldn’t be, given Cara left a mirror message for her to read. The dolls sat down and finally praised Kate for a well earned win, with she and Ginger telling Michael that Ru couldn’t take her eyes off her during the lip sync. DeDe meanwhile admitted she thought Michael would be going home and while everyone felt it was in poor taste, they got her back by reading her for absolute filth.

The next day Tomara was ready to sink her veneers into the next challenge, while everyone admired Kate’s badge. Well maybe not DeDe, given she is the only person without one now. Before anyone could read her for that, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be welcoming a new addition into their families. That’s right, it’s the makeover challenge! And this year, they would be doing-up charity hotline workers. And for winning the last challenge, Kate was able to pair them up. DeDe was paired with an absolute zaddy, Jamie. Ginger got the other zaddy, the bearded Rodrigo, just what she didn’t want. Michael was connected with old cutie daddy DILF Peter while Tomara got gorgeous young Gemma, leaving Kate with cool icon Xan.

After Ru left, the dolls split up to get to know their dolls, with Ginger learning her partner’s dissertation was about Drag Race. And when he agreed to shave off his beard, they were in love. Ginger opened up about Rodrigo being her first child and ugh, I love it. DeDe was falling in love with Jamie, vowing to serve family resemblance in a different way. So you know Michelle will hate it. Ginger meanwhile was popping Rodrigo in heels and while she struggled, Ginger was so supportive, I love it. Kate and Xan were busy kiking about the hotline before a hard pivot into the plan for the performance, with Kate delighting her with the ONJ plan for their looks. Tomara meanwhile was delighting Gemma, laughing it up and having an absolute ball. Michael and Peter were just vibing. And while Michael was nervous about Peter struggling, she could also tell he was ready to have a ball and may just be her best asset.

Ru made her return with Ginger and Rodrigo having her in stitches, while Ru was very focused on the fact Rodrigo has a beard. Kate meanwhile was thrilled to have her win and hoping for a double, if she could make Xan as ugly as her. And hearing her talk about the charity, I don’t think that is possible, TBH, as she is just beautiful. DeDe continued to swoon around Jamie, which only got worse when Ru asked Jamie if she’d have a meaty tuck. Making DeDe confident she will grab a win. Michael on the other hand gushed about Peter, excited for him to be able to let his freak flag fly and embrace his diva. She then opened up about lip syncing to Liza Minelli as a kid and condragulations Michael, Geezer Minelli just jagged you your second win. While Tomara and Gemma were cute, Ru got in their heads about how heavy the wigs are.

After Ru left, Ginger tried to talk Rodrigo through tucking, even enlisting Tomara to explain how to suck the testicles back into her body. Xan meanwhile locked in Femily Bronte as a drag name, while DeDe worried her outfits weren’t similar enough. While Michael and Peter focused on walking, and Tomara was cackling over how big the wig looked on Gemma.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to get their daughters ready. Ginger with a ceremonial shave of Rodrigo. Michael and Peter meanwhile spoke about growing up queer, with Peter sharing a moment when he was watching a TV show with a queer character and how his dad told him it was brave. Sadly he didn’t think it was as brave when he came out, with his parents sending him to the doctor who told him that he wasn’t gay, given his wrists weren’t limp. Thankfully his parents did accept him, with Peter then moving on to opening up about his first few boyfriends dying and how he joined the hotline to help throughout the AIDS crisis. And again, condragulations Peter, you’re an icon. DeDe meanwhile was still horny for Jamie. I assume, maybe it is just me. Tomara and Gemma were talking about the latter’s girlfriend, while Jamie was equally horny for herself in drag.

Ru, Michelle and Graham were joined on the panel by the legendary Daphne Guinness as the Drag Family Resemblance runway kicked off with DeDe and BeBe giving 80s party girls. And while it was cute, you know the judges will read her for making DeDe look better than BeBe. Kate and Femily gave gay Grease and it was cute, but not family, tragically, despite being an ode to the trans flag. Michael and Geezer meanwhile absolute slayed, giving charm and glam and while Geezer couldn’t walk, the way Michael raised her up has to be a win with the judges. Giant G and Tomara looked like the campest outcasts from Clueless, Ginger and Ruiva gave glam ‘60s long-lost sisters and well, Ruiva was living it up and full of camp. And is this another Ginger win?

After Ru thanked the drag babies, the judges praised Jamie for being a zaddy and while they lived for DeDe’s work, they hated the lack of family resemblance. Kate and Femily while delightful, gave even less resemblance than DeDe. Though Kate was thrilled by the fact Daphne called her makeup mesmerising, so thats a win to her. Michael and Geezer received 10s across the board for each and every thing she did. Michael’s pared back makeup was a win, Geezer nailing the walk was delightful and well, everyone was moved by just how great Peter was. Geezer then delighted the judges with jokes before opening up about how this experience has relaxed him and how he finally feels whole. And he wants to share love with everyone and shit, I am crying. Tiny T and Giant G were praised for selling all the fun, giving big hair and all the family. While Ginger and Ruiva were universally beloved, despite giving Trixie and Bianca, which is hilarious. And true. As was the fact their looks were perfect, as were their hair and make-up.

Backstage the dolls toasted their sisters, thanking them for doing them all so proud. Ginger was thrilled to definitely not be in the bottom, and quietly optimistic this could be her fourth win. Michael meanwhile heaped her daughter in praise, thanking her for all she did. Kate’s daughter thanked her for a fun day, while BeBe opened up about being shocked by how beautiful she was. While Giant G just vibed hard. Tomara turned their attention to the lip sync, with DeDe and Kate ready to go given they know they got the worst critiques. And while DeDe was all laughs, Kate was a little more disappointed.

Ultimately Kate was sent straight to the bottom before Tomara was sent to safety. Michael was then deemed the winner of this week’s challenge as Peter nearly broke into tears backstage. Ginger was then sent to safety, leaving DeDe as the final person in the bottom. Though once again, she was ready to send a badge holder home. Despite the confidence, as soon as Rina Sawayama’s This Hell kicked off, it was clear that Kate wasn’t going to be as easy a win as she wanted. She gave drama and camp and you could tell she did not want to go home. Sadly for Miss Butch, though, DeDe was demented and funny and had the judges in stitches, so she did manage to save herself yet again, leaving Kate to sadly exit.

As Kate returned to the Werk Room, I pulled her in for a massive hug, pulled back, looked in her face and screamed. Thankfully, she knew I was just joking about how the judges read her make-up over the season, given she has gone from strength to strength each week and TBH, will be able to go all the way on All Stars. But that is another conversation for another time. I assured her that she was an icon over the course of her run, and that the public, like me, will love seeing her take over the world in a Trixie-esque fashion, TBH. And that was all it took to perk her back up, though I’m sure the Katella Danitch didn’t hurt either!

If there are two things I love in life, they are pastry and nutella. And given this little baby combines them both, you know I think they’re perfection. Flaky party and velevety nutella work together to provide a melt in the mouth snack that washes away the pain of being underappreciated by Ru. Not that I’ve had to worry about that before.

Enjoy!

Katella Danitch
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 ½ cup nutella
½ cup icing sugar
1 egg
3 sheets good-quality butter puff pastry, quartered
½ cup roasted hazelnuts, roughly chopped

Method
Preheat the oven to 200ºC. 

Beat a cup of the nutella with the icing sugar and egg until smooth and glorious.

To assemble, place the puff on a clean bench and cut into to long strips. Divide the mixture between the six layers and smooth down the pastry leaving 10cm at each short end, but going right up to the long edges. If that makes sense, because it does in my head. Part fold-part roll to form a loose domed rectangle. Pop on a lined baking sheet, brush with the remaining nutella and sprinkle with the nuts.

Transfer the danishes into the oven and bake for 20 minutes, or until golden and puffed. And then, devour, like an icon in need of a non-tree crutch.


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Kellie Nalbandia Maria Chocolate Christmas Cake

Baking, Cake, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 45, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Bruce jagged an idol moments before the first phase of the non-merge portion of the game. As the boat approached shore, he enlisted the help of everyone else in the tribe to collect it, though decided to keep it a secret from his nemesis Katurah. After they were split into two groups – why merge, you ask? Who knows – to each eliminate someone, Kaleb filled her in to make sure she wasn’t angry with him. But over to the other group where Kellie was debating when to turn on Bruce, though instead stuck with Drew and her Belos to take out Sifu. After he was sent all the way home, Katurah confronted Jake about keeping the idol secret from her. While Jake and Kaleb thought they had won her over enough to force a tie and take out Julie, Katurah banded with the Rebas to take out Kaleb to become the king of the jury.

As the first group arrived back at camp, everyone was thrilled to have made the jury. Though Drew did admit that getting rid of Sifu was harder than he thought, particularly since it gave Bruce a win in the game, which nobody wanted. When the groups came together, nobody was exactly surprised that Kaleb was gone. Though you best believe Jake felt awkward about trying to save Kaleb, given it made him an outsider. And he regretted being reckless. To his credit, he pulled Julie aside to clear the air, admitting that his vote was more to save Kaleb, not to take her out. And while they pretended to be all good, it was clear Julie was going to get revenge.

The next day the dolls noticed that they had a numbers advantage over the men and as such, thought that maybe they should form an alliance and take control. While the boys were focused on tacos, all the girls agreed it was a great idea and maybe it was finally the right time to get rid of Bruce. While Julie admitted to us that she still trusts Drew and Austin, given they all have a mutual target, maybe it could work. Kellie on the other hand just wanted the albatross around her neck gone.

A boat then arrived at shore, featuring a table with bowls glued on top. Thoroughly confused, name cards were laid out before Kendra read treemail announcing that they would be participating in the Survivor Auction. Finally, finally, giving us what we want! Of course it was going to come with a twist, the first being that they had to go find tubes of cash hidden in the jungle for them to spend. Everyone split up hunting for the money, with Bruce choosing to take it super easy, finishing with just $80 to spend at auction. While Dee and Austin were the richest with $900 and $700 apiece.

When they met Jeffrey in the jungle, he immediately announced that unlike in the past, there will be no advantages on offer. At all. And the third twist? 15 items will be up for grabs, 5 confirmed and the rest decided by rockdraw and finishing without notice. Why does that matter, though? Well the person with the most money leftover at the conclusion of the auction loses their vote at the upcoming tribal council. First up were pretzels and beer, which went to Kendra for $360, exhausting her money in the process and guaranteeing she holds on to her vote. Fries and coke went to Kellie for $500, Emily bought a covered item for $440 which was thankfully not bat soup, instead a massive charcuterie and wine. Oh and now she has $60 left, meaning she is likely keeping her vote too. Dee went all in with $900 to jag her milkshake, likely just to retain her vote.

The next covered item went to Katurah for $480. Feeling like it could be a dud, Probst offered her the chance to trade out for something else. Sadly she opted to keep the original, which were two giant fish eyeballs. Which Austin bought on resale for $100. Though at least Katurah kept her vote, no? Drew went all in on item 6 for $520, which was just a bowl of candy. Austin snatched a piece of pizza for $600. A toothbrush and mouthwash went to Julie for $420, the next item was chocolate cake for three, which went to Jake for $340 and was shared with Julie and Bruce. Kellie then bought a sandwich, chips and marg for $200, leaving Bruce to now be the richest person left on the bleachers. And sadly, there were no other items available, meaning he was the poorest going in and also lost his vote.

Back at camp everyone was giddy from the food and sugar, with Kendra talking about how great it was to burn through all her cash on the first item and just be able to chill. She then shared that the beer was special to her, as she didn’t know her biological father until she was 18 years old. When she reached out and met, they shared a beer and as such it reminded her of him and gave him a special toast. Which was super cute.

Everyone was chilling out and going for a swim, so Emily caught up with Drew and assured him that she is his ride or die. And then squealed on the girls alliance – boo – and while that sucks for us, she assured him that Jake and Bruce are the targets, so he is fine. And damn, Emily, that upsets me. Drew meanwhile was thrilled to have the information and given Bruce is everyone’s target, he, Austin and Julie approached Katurah by the well and assured her they can work together, and hey, she can even pick the target. And what do you know, she said Bruce?!

The tribe caught up with Probst for the immunity challenge, which Bruce is totally winning based on the timing, no? But back to the challenge. Everyone would need to hold onto a rope holding up a log with the last person standing without dropping winning immunity. Adding yet another wrinkle to the challenge, Jeff offered the tribe a massive bag of rice for the last ten days of the game if four people sit out. Dee and Emily instantly offered, with Katurah asking for an incentive. Which led to Probst stabbing the bag and letting rice bleed out until two more people offered, with Drew jumping straight out before Katurah eventually joined them. After 20 minutes Kellie and Kendra dropped in quick succession, before Austin and Jake dropped after 25 minutes leaving the two oldies to battle it out for immunity. Tragically though, Julie couldn’t do it for the dolls, as Bruce jagged immunity and screwed over all the plans. Just as predicted.

Back at camp everyone pretended to be thrilled for Bruce, which actually annoyed the shit out of literally everyone. None more so than Kellie, who was so very annoyed by the fact Bruce gets to be the spectator at tribal and as she appears to be close to Bruce, she was worried she could be the other back-up. Everyone was scared to throw out a name other than Jake, however, which made Jake realise he was the target and that the Shot in the Dark may be his only option. Instead of locking that in, he got to work visibly hunting for an idol before Katurah offered to go babysit him. He then approached Bruce to see if he’d be willing to play his idol for him, which Bruce obviously wasn’t interested in.

Drew was still nervous, though, so pulled the Reba four and Emily aside to float the idea of taking out Kellie instead, given she holds more power than Bruce and that nobody actually seems to think anyone but Jake is a target. And then after locking in Kellie, Drew immediately grew paranoid that giving Jake another chance could be a grave mistake. Which means Jake is bringing down Drew if he survives the night, mark my words.

At tribal council Bruce tried to talk about breaking a record by losing his vote but being immune. Thankfully it was brushed aside, with Drew reminding everyone that his generosity should be rewarded, while Jake shat on it, pointing out it isn’t charitable, it just means people feel safe. As he stumbled over Jeff’s questions, he eventually threw out a pitch, pointing out a dogpile is never the right move, and the other people on the bottom will regret not making a move if he goes, given it means they will likely be next. Kellie agreed he made some good points, while Dee was sure everyone was still united tonight. Which Jake pointed out was a bad move. Katurah too agreed that Jake did make good points, but it is only true if their next move isn’t solid. Emily said that Jake is just too focused on it being him, with Jake deliberately stumbling yet again, talking about playing his idol. Which Katurah called super concerning.

With that the tribe nervously voted before Jake played his Shot in the Dark, sadly not jagging immunity in the process. After three votes piled up on him, he thought he was done before the Belo women were well and truly gagged to see the rest of the votes pile up on Kellie as she was blindsided from the game. Angry and heartbroken, annoyed at Emily and in shock as Kendra watched on in tears. 

As she arrived at the jury, I pulled her in for a massive hug. And while she immediately pushed me away and as I flew through the air and onto the ground, it is said that my heart doubled in size that day. I came running back, screaming about how much of an icon she is and how grateful I was to be a part of the rage. For some reason, she assumed I was joking and as such started laughing, thanking me for breaking the tension. And while I was confused, we laughed and became besties before smashing a slice or two of Kellie Nalbandia Maria Chocolate Christmas Cake.

I used to hate the entire concept of fruit cakes as a child, but obviously, I aged and my palate refined. Thanks in no small part to recipes like this one. Rich and fruity, with a punch of chocolate and coffee, it is a combination that can turn even the grinchiest grinch into a festive fiend. So thanks, Nigella.

Enjoy!

Kellie Nalbandia Maria Chocolate Christmas Cake
Serves: 8-12.

Ingredients
350g prunes
250g raisins
125g currants
50g candied orange peel
175g soft unsalted butter
175g dark muscovado sugar
175ml honey
125ml tia maria 
2 oranges, zested and juiced
1 ½ tsp mixed spice
¼ cup cocoa
3 eggs
150g flour
75g almond meal
½ tsp baking powder
½ tsp bicarb soda

Method
Preheat the oven to 130°C and double-line the sides and bottom of a 20cm round, deep, cake tin, making sure the paper comes up twice the height of the tin. 

Put the fruit, butter, sugar, runny honey, tia maria, juice and zest, spices and cocoa into a large saucepan and bring to a gentle boil,until the butter melts. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes, and then take off the heat and leave to stand for half an hour.

Once it has cooled, beat in the eggs, flour, almond meal, baking powder and bicarb, and stir until combined.

Pour the batter into the prepared cake tin, and pop in the oven and bake for 1¾–2 hours, or until the cake is firm to touch, but shiny and sticky. And most importantly, an inserted skewer will come out a little gooey in the middle.

Remove from the heat and transfer to a cooling rack, where the cake will continue to set using the residual heat. Cover in sprinkles and decorations, before devouring greedily. Or wrapping in foil and popping in a tin until Christmas. But, like, why wait?


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Sausage & Kaleb Pizbrewold

Main, Pizza, Snack, Street Food, Survivor, Survivor 45, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor the tribe met Probst for the first official individual immunity challenge. Only it wasn’t, because as is tradition in the new era, the tribe were split into two random groups with one person winning immunity on each group. And then each group would go to tribal council and vote someone out. To make it twistier, the person that stayed up the longest would earn their group reward and a spot on the jury. As the first person out would become the final pre-juror. After Dee and her super-toes won her group reward, the losers went back to Lulu where Drew offered up Sifu as the target to save himself. And while Kendra wanted to make a move against Bruce, Kellie was able to keep them together and along with Emily, they sent Sifu out of the game and all the way home.

But back to the other group. After the challenge, we followed Quentin Tarrantino’s dream and the team off to the Sanctuary where they joyfully smashed tacos and congratulated each other on making it to the jury. As they smashed their food, Julie spoke about how nervous she was to navigate the vote. Particularly since Kaleb has proven lucky thus far and she doesn’t want it to continue at the expense of her game. Sadly for her, Jake had firmly set his sights on taking out Julie for no other reason than it could potentially weaken Dee, who he deems the biggest threat.

Back at camp Dee and Austin caught up about the vote, with Austin suggesting it would be a good idea to keep Kaleb around, given he is a bigger threat than them and as such, will always be a target. Sadly for him, Dee was fixated on voting out Kaleb again, given it is one that won’t ruffle any feathers. They looped in Jake and Julie, and while Julie was all good, Jake was sick of being told what to do and he went to talk to Kaleb. Kaleb knew his only hope was with Katurah and as such, cautioned Jake that they need to tell her about Bruce’s idol, because if she learns about it from Austin, she is likely to flip on them too. And she is crucial to taking out Julie. Assuming that in a revote, Austin would be too scared to go to rocks and as such, would eventually join them.

Kaleb caught up with Katurah and let her know the plan to spook Austin into flipping on a revote, before he told her about Bruce’s vote. Instantly locking in her loyalty knowing that while Belo are happy to keep her in the dark, he is willing to protect her. Katurah caught up with Jake so that they could run through the plans between Julie and Kaleb, and which one would take them further. She then confronted Jake about the knowledge of the idol, with him subtly pinning the blame on Kaleb and oh god, don’t turn it on my angel.

As the other group left tribal council and the future jurors filed in, Dee spoke about putting the game on pause until they returned from the Sanctuary. And how their feast was a lovely, bonding experience. Which Jake agreed with, though also pointed out that they still need to send someone to kick off the jury. Julie spoke about thinking she was going to play the game as a robot, however she realises it is heartbreaking to send someone home. Katurah spoke about the nervousness of finally being an option to go home, given she has luckily been immune thus far, while Jake admitted he just wants to work with people he thinks will take him further. Kaleb meanwhile said that he played it differently, taking his foot off the gas to show he is willing to work and they don’t need to fear him. Dee spoke about that being great and all, but reminded him that everything relies on people buying what he is selling, too. With Katurah agreeing he has no other options, so of course he is going to say it. And given all the confusion, she will be trusting her gut tonight.

With that the group voted and tragically Katurah joined the Rebas to send Kaleb out of the game, likely to become the sweetest King of the Jury of all time. As he arrived in Ponderosa, I pulled him in for a massive hug and thanked him for being such a delightful breath of fresh air all season. More importantly, he single handedly turned Emily’s game around and allowed her to shine – ignoring Hannah’s quit saving her first, TBH – and while I loved him for himself, that heroic act delivered the season, and for that we should all be grateful. Even more so than him being a total zaddy, and such glorious company to smash a Sausage & Kaleb Pizbrewold with. Particularly since it is what cursed him out of the game.

You know I have a passion for putting sausage in my mouth, and with the addition of kale, you can argue this is healthy. Kinda. A little earthy with a kick of heat, this pizza is super easy to throw together, and will have you coming back for more and more.

Enjoy!

Sausage & Kaleb Pizbrewold
Serves: 2-4, depending on need and/or hunger.

Ingredients
2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
4 italian sausages, skins removed
4 cloves garlic, crushed
⅓ cup passata
oregano and basil, roughly chopped, to taste
1 tsp chilli flakes
2 cups shredded kale
mozzarella, to taste

Method
Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 180°C.

Pop the sausage in a skillet over medium heat and cook, breaking up into large chunks with a wooden spoon as you go for a couple of minutes. Add in the garlic and cook for a further minute, or until the sausage is just cooked through.

To assemble, smear passata over the prepared bases, sprinkle with the herbs and chilli, followed by the kale and garlicky sausage before topping, generously, with mozzarella.

Transfer to the oven and bake for fifteen minutes, or until bubbly and golden.

Serve and devour immediately, eating through the pain.


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Festivicki Frivacious

Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, Side, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race UK the dolls put on the show as they performed in the opening and closing of the new hit rusical, Panto-she Better Don’t. The rusical. Live! And as appears to be tradition for our UK girlies, everyone was rather solid. Begging the question, was Charlie Hides right? Ginger shone brighter than everyone as a cow, while Vicki and Michael made a dynamic duo of lovers. Though it was Ginger that took out her second win of the season. Sadly there had to be a bottom two, however, and since Banksie was nervous and DeDe missed the mark due to never having seen a musical, it was them. And tragically, DeDe absolutely slaughtered the lip sync and sent our sweet Banksie home.

Backstage the dolls were in shock that it was Banksie that went home, particularly since it was so soon. Though DeDe, obviously, was just glad it was not her. She shared how the lip sync was a little cathartic, while Cara admitted that she had grown to love Banksie and as such, was heartbroken. Kate meanwhile was genuinely disappointed to see her bestie go, though pivoted and congratulated Ginger on taking out victory. She in turn spoke about her shock that she won, originally thinking she was going to be lip syncing. Vicki pretended to be happy for her, though was clearly jealous. Kate thankfully kept things moving, asking Cara and Tomara whether they regretted giving up roles to the tops and you best believe it galvanised them not to give anything up again.

The next day the dolls were feeling energised and spicy, particularly Ginger, as the first queen to be donning two badges. Which she assured her sisters was absolutely correct. They turned their attention to who had wins under their belts, with Kate trying to convince her sisters that having fun is the real win, innit. Ginger meanwhile spoke about finally understanding what it means to have nerve, and you best believe she will be keeping that in focus from now on.

Ru interrupted the kiki to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge, finally, the dolls would be playing the iconique Snatch Game. So you know Kate was finally ready to score a win and leave DeDe as the sole badgeless queen. Cara, meanwhile, was absolutely terrified. The dolls immediately split up to talk through their characters with Cara wisely opting for Dionne Warwick, Kate was obviously doing her namesake Kate Bush, Ginger went with Dame Barbara Cartland, DeDe was debating between Lady C and Julia Fox, though hoping to go with the former, whether Ru gets it or not.

As she debated herself, Ru dropped by to give her dolls a peptalk with her pumped for Vicki’s Fanny Cradock, living for Ginger’s camp choice though most excited for Tomara playing Mrs. Doubtfire, giving she is just funny without even trying. Essentially the Alyssa Edwards of the UK. Cara’s choice of Dionne delighted Ru, given she is a massive fan, which obviously made Cara shit herself. Particularly when she couldn’t name more songs than her biggest hit. While Kate Butch delighted Ru with the choice of Kate Bush, despite the nerves of her being too much of a fan to have fun with it. Michael was doing a Catherine Tate character, which really made Ru nervous, given she is stuck in someone else’s bit. Though Michael assured her, she is ready for this. While DeDe was still debating, until Ru admitted he knows Lady C but bored by this Julia Fox character. Who she has never heard of.

We quickly pivoted to set where Carol Vordeman and Alexandra Burke took their places on the panel and Ginger once again came out of the gate starring, Cara was surprisingly fun, Kate was demented, Tomara was so fun and silly, despite her southern accent bombing. DeDe meanwhile was vamping it up, Vicki served smut and Michael was even hornier. While Ginger, Kate and Tomara went from strength to strength throughout the game, DeDe flatlined on her very first response while Vicki started to drown amongst her pre-prepared bits. Cara, meanwhile, was the true surprise, holding her own and looking to be having the most fun. Well, after Tomara. 

Elimination Day arrived with Kate thrilled to definitely not be in the bottom, while Michael was gagged by how funny Tomara is. Ginger and Kate were feeling jubilant as they beat their mugs together, while Vicki and DeDe spoke about how badly they both bombed, fully ready to lip sync no matter how glorious their runways are. Talk turned to first times in drag with Tomara pulling out a photo and ugh, it was so bad, charming and funny, and damn, crown Tomara now, she is an icon. Gagging everyone with the fact she has been Tomara since 14! 

Michael meanwhile spoke about how proud of her she is, given she is just so confident in who she is, while Michael struggled with having to keep everything on the downlow when she was younger. Cara shared that Cara was born when she was 17, while Ginger admitted she was disappointed her grandmother couldn’t see her in drag, given they had a hat game. Where they would go into a hat department, pop one on the other’s head and then they would have to make a character. Kate meanwhile got her start in uni and as such, there was nothing to worry about with her parents, given she had already moved out.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by Alexandra on the judges panel as Tomara opened the Hearts On runway giving the sexiest cardiac nurse known to man. Though maybe she is death? Vicki gave the ultimate Queen of Hearts and worked overtime to make up for her snatch with a stunning look. Kate meanwhile cried for the sailors before revealing herself to be a pin up, Michael was stunning in a chain black heart, complete with a red hand reveal before DeDe was kinda underwhelming with hearts stuck to a corset, though making it shot with cupid’s arrows. Ginger gave anatomical heart by way of Grimace (but in a good way) before Cara closed the show serving demon heart collector.

Michael and Cara were swiftly sent to safety before Tomara received universal praise for how demented she was throughout the entirety of Snatch Game. The level of manic delighting the judges, while her perfectly stunning runway gave them levels. And yeah, a good week for Tomara. Vicki was given props for serving the look of Fanny, though read for completely bombing Snatch Game. Though they did love her runway, which does help, no? Flipping the critique, Kate’s Kate was completely beloved though her runway was universally meh’ed for being ill fitting and underwhelming. DeDe’s Lady C was read for being bland while the runway was deemed a little messy. While as has become tradition, everything that Ginger served was universally beloved. 

Backstage Michael and Cara were thrilled to have been deemed safe in the most difficult challenge, while Cara was really hoping to get out of her head to finally stop coasting. The tops and bottoms joined the fun with Vicki and DeDe joking about how shite they were before going to learn the lyrics for the lip sync. Kate was thrilled to get such strong critiques, though continued to make jokes about her outfits, before Ginger shared that once again she will be taking out the win. Though more focused on the fact the judges think her outfits are a joke, when she was feeling sexy. While Tomara was thrilled that they loved her manic performance.

As everyone predicted Ginger took out her third win in a row as Tomara and Kate were sent to safety, leaving Vicki and DeDe to lip sync for the final spot to Alexandra’s own Heartbreak on Hold. And well, it is a bop and both the dolls were not ready to go home without a fight. DeDe though, was just inspired, using her chopsticks to conduct the opening and after that, she had the entire panel in the palm of her hand and while Vicki gave us consummate performer, the de-demented performance saved our scrappy underdog once again and sent Miss Vivacious home.

Vicki was heartbroken by the time I found her backstage, so I quickly pulled her in for a hug and assured her that both she and her pastie cemented a place in drag race herstory. Like, yeah, sure, that was a little hyperbolic, but you know that Vicki types generally thrive in the All Stars situation, when they have time to watch their first season and realise they have everything it takes and to just not worry so much about how they come across. And that latter part of the conversation was enough to get her vibing enough to smash a big bowl of Festivicki Frivacious.

This is one of those hodge-podge – like Vinegar – recipes where you pretty much throw all your leftovers on some fries and thrive. And given the festive season is well and truly underway, turkey, stuffing and gravy feel correct.

So let go and enjoy!

Festivicki Frivacious
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
3 cups Jud Beerza Battered Fries
1 cup Nick Ciabatta Stuffing
1 cup Brined Littrell Turkey, shredded
¾ cup Howie Doriesling Gravy

Method
Cook everything as per their recipes, or assemble your leftovers on a bench.

To serve, divide the fries between two bowls, top with stuffing and turkey and then drizzle with gravy. And devour.

You could also add craisins, baked apples, or cheese curds if they tickle your fancy. The main thing that matters is that you put your Thanksgiving leftovers to good use and bask in the glory.


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J. Gayatime Pudding

Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 45, Sweets, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Survivor Drew, Austin, Julie and Dee formed a tight alliance on original Reba, however were now split down genderlines on new Belo and Reba. After Sean opted to quit, the Reba women focused on telling Sifu that it was J that cast a vote against him, rather than Dee. Which made sense for everyone not named J. Thankfully it didn’t reach its crescendo as the new (which is also just old) Reba won immunity and sent Belo to tribal council. Austin, J and Kellie went on a little journey and were forced to pick between amulets and sandwiches, with Austin desperate for the food though outvoted by the girls. And you best believe he was already plotting revenge before he made it back to camp. At said camp, Kendra went full Drew Barrymore and felt all the feels, while Emily was in the driver’s seat. Ultimately siding with the Rebas to get rid of Brando. And leave Kendra all by herself.

Back at camp the trio tried to assure Kendra that she is solid with them, with her wisely telling them that she completely understands why she wasn’t told. And vowed to work with them moving forward. That was all a farce, however, with Emily squarely in her sights, should she ever get the chance to go full Arya Stark. Because while she believes in karmic retribution in her real life, trust and believe she will be letting her petty flag fly on the island. And this is exactly why I live for her.

The next day we checked in with Lulu where the tribe were busy hunting for idols, with Kaleb leading the charge to guarantee that if he doesn’t have it, he at least knows who does. Right on cue, Bruce found the Beware Advantage directing him to dig under the centre of the shelter. And since Katurah was wandering aimlessly around the shore, Bruce got to digging. Well, until Katurah interrupted him. Everyone stood around awkwardly until Jake went full thespian, pretending to have dropped his ring to justify further digging. Sadly for him, a boat arrived announcing that they would soon be merging and as such, Bruce lost his chance to reclaim his vote.

Wait, no, he had ten minutes to dig and finally, FINALLY, he jagged it. Just before getting on the boat. Like a quote, unquote celebrity.

Lulu and Belo arrived at the former Reba beach to come together and jubilantly celebrate the non-merge. Kaleb meanwhile was hopeful that he and Emily were now in a power position, able to pick which original tribe to go with. But before that, they had a collection of fish to devour which led to Kendra malfunctioning and almost breaking down in tears. She was thrilled to have reconnected with Belo, quickly filling them in on Emily aligning with the Rebas. Emily meanwhile knew she may be in trouble, so pulled Bruce aside to apologise and explain she was just playing devil’s advocate on the boat when they were marooned. After talk turned to the Brando vote, they both agreed to be friendly but it was clear they were against each other.

Austin meanwhile was bitching to Julie and Dee about losing his sandwich, immediately suggesting they target J or Kellie as soon as possible. Knowing Austin needs to sacrifice his vote at the upcoming tribal council to extend the life of his idol, they got to work figuring out someone they can rally the group behind so his vote doesn’t matter, willing to throw J under the bus to weaken their broader target should it get to it.

After a torrential downpour, Sifu, Austin and Emily went for a walk to collect firewood. Before Sifu broke off and was way too much to way too many people. Emily and Kaleb meanwhile caught up to reaffirm their undying loyalty to each other before Kaleb went on a friend making tour, catching up with everyone and winning hearts and minds wherever he goes. Bruce meanwhile was left right out, worried that nobody was talking strategy with him which made him very, very nervous, given Kaleb is friendly with everything. He then confronted Kaleb due to being jealous, and while he tried to pretend he was calm, the relationship with Kaleb is clearly done. Kaleb in turn caught up with Kellie, asking for advice about navigating Bruce, however, it sadly only ended up making Kellie keen to get rid of Bruce at the earliest opportunity too.

The tribe caught up with Probst for the latest immunity challenge where they would be split into two teams to earn the merge. Because ugh, gimmicks. The groups would crawl under a muddy net to a cart, push it through the field to collect sandbags, use the sandbags to climb a tower, collect keys, then climb a boulder to ascend a platform to unlock part 1 of the 2 part puzzle. With the first group to finish the second puzzle merging, having a feast and being immune at tonight’s tribal council. And since there are an odd number of players, the odd one out would back one of the teams and join in their fate. Said unlucky soul turned out to be Katurah, who ultimately backed Sifu, Drew, Bruce, Austin, Julie and Kendra in blue.

Right out of the gate it was clear Katurah made a wise choice as the blue team got out to an early lead at the net. As they got to work pushing the cart, poor J became stuck in the net before finally making it through. It did, however, give blue an epic lead as they collected all their sandbags and released their keys before the other tribe had made it off the course. The blue team got to work on the puzzle and TBH, made it look way too easy as the red team desperately tried to make their way up the boulder, winning themselves and Katurah immunity. And tragically leaving both Lulu’s at risk.

We followed the victors to the sanctuary where they joyously got to work smashing their meal, and awkwardly waited for someone to throw out a name. Well, that is after gushing about butter, which is relatable. Who wouldn’t fuck butter?! Sifu eventually kicked things off, throwing out J with his fellow Rebas agreeing they’d be happy to get rid of her. As a counterpoint, Julie suggested Kaleb could also be a safe vote, with Kendra and Bruce quickly jumping on board, agreeing he is a massive risk and needs to go ASAP. Katurah meanwhile, wasn’t thrilled by the idea pointing out Emily is more of an island, so if they want to get rid of a Lulu, it should be her.

Back at camp, Jake was feeling very anxious about finally attending tribal council. As such, he approached J and suggested they work together, with the duo agreeing that a Lulu needs to go ASAP. While Emily looked to be the easier idea, J was more focused on getting rid of Kaleb as the bigger threat. She looped in Dee, who then caught up with Jake and gagged him by throwing out J as a potential option. The game of telephone began as Dee then looped in Kaleb, while Jake filled in Kellie, who was obviously keen to super power her amulet. 

The two groups finally came together where all hell broke loose. The Belo women caught up and immediately locked in J or Kaleb, with Katurah continuing to point out that getting rid of Kaleb tonight is a bad idea, given J weakens the other alliance. Which should be their focus. It then bounced back and forth between the two and ugh, please do not let us lose King Kaleb so soon. The Rebas caught up with Emily and told her it seems like Kaleb would likely be going home, with her cautioning them that it was too soon and that they could use his gratitude to move forward. Emily then looped in Kaleb and told him he really needs to play his Shot in the Dark before going to the Rebas and pledging his undying loyalty to them, given he now hates Bruce and wants him gone. So much so, he told everyone that Bruce has the idol.

At tribal council the remaining castaways collected their torches before Drew spoke about the information dump that was everyone coming together and how uncertain everyone was in the new group. Emily opened up about squashing the beef with Bruce, J spoke about being overwhelmed by all the new people to navigate while Sifu felt like it was chaos as everyone was inundated by a bunch of noise. Julie meanwhile felt like not everyone was strategising too hard, while Katurah was just worried about people voting for her eventually and how ultimately she feels badly for the six possible options. Kaleb spoke about continuing to be hopeful, despite knowing that he is clearly a target tonight. Emily agreed that she and Kaleb are clearly a little cursed, merge, or non-merge, be damned.

J opened up about spending the day just trying to make sure she doesn’t burn all the bridges as she moves forward. Kaleb meanwhile went the hail mary route and spoke about how while he is a physical threat, he isn’t the biggest strategically and as such, the group should band together to get rid of J. He spoke about how the Reba women have been together for two weeks, pointing out that Dee and Julie would be smart to sacrifice J if for no other reason than lowering their own threat levels. This irked Dee, asking him to potentially outline a few more threats and while he didn’t want to, Dee pointed out that what he said hardly makes her interested in working with him. 

With that the tribe voted, except for Austin who wanted to power his idol up until the final five. And Kaleb, who opted to play his Shot in the Dark. And not just play it, but play it successfully, as he pulled the scroll that read safety and jagged himself immunity as the shocked tribe cheered on. In, I repeat, shock. Particularly as Jeff tallied the votes and every single vote came in for Kaleb, breaking Kelley’s record in the process. Given there were no eligible votes in the urn, the tribe started to scramble with J and Katurah floating Emily, Emily and Bruce locking in J and everyone stopping in with Kaleb to congratulate him for finally getting some luck.

After everyone seemingly locked in the vote for Emily, they once again voted and with no tricks left to save anyone, J found herself exiting the game. As she arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled her in for an epic hug and told her she did a good job and to hold her head up high. She then thanked me, assuring me she knows that going out at a wild tribal council is always a win. I then explained that I actually was congratulating her for her ability to bite her tongue every time Sifu said he was a songwriter. We then laughed and laughed, at the hilarity of our faux pas – and the jam sessions – before we toasted her epic departure with a delicious J. Gayatime Pudding.

This glorious little pudding is just as glorious as it is easy to make. Velvety and sweet, with the perfect set of salt and a gorgeous – albeit store bought – crumb, it has it all. And has you coming back for more and more.

Enjoy!

J. Gayatime Pudding
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
6 gelatine leaves
400g Dulce de Nick Lachey
500ml custard
3 egg whites
3 tbsp caster sugar
1 tsp kosher salt
600ml double cream, whipped to a soft peak
½ cup Gaytime crumbs

Method
Soak the gelatine in cold water for a few minutes to bloom. Squeeze out the water and add to the bowl of a stand mixer with the dulce de leche and half the custard. Whisk together on low for a couple of minutes.

In another bowl, whisk the egg whites on high until stiff peaks form. Add the sugar and salt and mix until just combined. Fold the egg whites through the toffee mixture, followed by the whipped cream, until just combined. Divide the pudding between serving glasses, cover and pop in the fridge to set for at least 4 hours. 

Once set, remove from the fridge, sprinkle with the crumbs and devour. Like a damn icon.


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