Potato

James Van Der Greek Chips

Party Food, Side, Snack

Did I ever tell you that James Van Der Beek is the reason I am married? I’m fairly certain I have … but it is a story that bears repeating.

While there is a part of me that will always be heartbroken that JVDB never proposed to me while we were dating – he didn’t like sharing me with J-Jax, which was a not-negosh for me back in 2001 – he knew before I did when I found the man of my dreams and pushed me to propose.

He sat me down the day before my 22nd birthday and made me rewatch the two-part finale of Dawson’s Creek. It got to the part where Joey and Pacey were watching his faux-show and he turned to me just as faux-Joe started quoting the theme song and said, do you want to wait? For your life to be over?

Obviously I didn’t and the rest is history … but that is just the kind of close friendship we have, you know? I mean, he knew I should propose even before I did.

I’m not surprised though, JVDB has been my best friends since he guested on Clarissa Explains It All and I dumped the wagon that was Mel J H. I knew he was destined for greatness – and that he was a total babe – and made it my life goal to make him the star of a seminal teen drama series.

When I first locked in that goal, I had a different understanding of the word seminal … but I was successful, even if I didn’t mean to be.

As I mentioned, I haven’t seen to him since the one-two punch of Don’t trust the bitch in Apartment 23’s axing and convincing him to join the cast of CSI: Cyber – with my friend Bow Wow – but thankfully he never held any of my advice against me.

And being that it came from my dear friend JVDB I actually believe he didn’t  … and that that fact had nothing to do with his love of my James Van Der Greek Chips.

 

 

I know he is not Greek … but these were our favourite post going Greek snack. And how could you find fault with that/them, really? Crispy potatoes, sharp feta, sweet oregano, tangy lemon and a nice punch of chilli.

Seriously, it is perfection – enjoy!

 

 

James Van Der Greek Chips
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2-3 potatoes, cut into ½ cm batons the length of the potato
olive oil
salt and pepper
1 tbsp fresh oregano leaves, roughly chopped
zest of a lemon
chilli flakes, to taste
⅓ cup feta, crumbled

Method
Preheat oven to 220°C.

Once the oven is scorching hot, place the potatoes on a lined baking sheet with a lug of olive oil and a whack of salt and pepper. Toss the potatoes to coat and spread into a single row. Place in the oven, reduce heat to 180°C and cook for twenty minutes or until golden and crisp. You may need to flip once halfway through cooking …  but I can never really be bothered.

Remove the chips from the oven, sprinkle the oregano, zest and chilli flakes over the hot chips and toss.

Decant to a bowl, top with feta and devour.

 

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Slash Browns

Breakfast, Side, Snack

Despite the doomsday and dramatic names of his albums, my dear friend Slash is the kind of person that fills me with an overwhelming sense of calm. Given everything I’ve done over the years, it is quite clear that is rare as well as a good thing.

While … except there was that one time Slash wasn’t able to keep my epic temper in check which ultimately led to him leaving Guns N’ Roses.

But I should probably take you back a bit further right?

I first met Slash many years ago in England when part of Bowie’s entourage. Slash’s mother used to design costumes for Dave and when we’d drop by I was always drawn to the beautiful sound of guitar in the other room.

From those very first days, I knew that he was destined for greatness and as such made my first attempt at momagering him.

(Oh FYI, I tried to adopt him … thus my plan failing, despite his success).

I then introduced him to Axl in the ‘80s and, as you know, designed what would become the majesty that in Guns N’ Roses. You’re welcome.

While I was a diligent Chief Groupie Advisor and muse – when not in prison – I did get angry with Ax when he opted not to sleep with me after a gig and swiftly went to Slash to quit the band. I was irate, he was loyal – and probably scared – and stepped away. All’s well that ends well though, as I was able to convince him to rejoin the band last year.

Given how busy the boys have been since reforming, I haven’t been able to see much of Slash so it was such a treat to spend a bit of time with him. While we sadly didn’t reconnect in the physical persuasion, I still made him our morning after Slash Browns and for that he is forever grateful.

 

 

Make no mistake, Slash is comforting and delightful … but that pales in comparison to how potato makes you feel. Particularly – and I feel like I say this for any potato recipe – when it comes in the form of a hash brown. Crisp on the outside, light and fluffy on the inside … and complete perfection.

Enjoy!

 

 

Slash Browns
Makes: 8.

Ingredients
4 potatoes, peeled and parboiled
1 egg, lightly whisked
2 tbsp milk powder
⅓ cup flour
¼ tsp smoked paprika
salt, pepper and caster sugar, to taste
butter or vegetable oil, for frying

Method
Grate the parboiled potatoes and press in a sieve to remove as much liquid as possible. Once dry(ish), place the potato in a bowl to cool.

Once cool, add the egg, milk powder, flour, smoked paprika, salt, pepper and a pinch of sugar, and scrunch with your hands to combine.

Press a small handful of mixture into a hash brown shape, place on a lined baking sheet and continue until done. Cover and place in the fridge for an hour or so.

Once the hash browns have chilled, heat a good knob of butter or lug of oil in a large frying pan over medium heat. When it is nice and hot, place a couple of hash browns in the pan and cook for a couple of minutes either side, or until golden and crisp.

Repeat until done, then devour. With or without eggs and/or Slash.

 

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Pumpkim Basinger Soup

Main, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold MMXVII: Gold with the Wind, Side, Snack, Soup, Vegetarian

While I like to let the lesser celebrity categories shine, I know why you drop by for Oscar Gold and that is my extreme proximity to the A-list.

And there is no one more A-list than my dear gal-pal and past Best Supporting Actress Winner, Kim Basinger.

I first met Kim through her ex-husband – and my ex/oft-lover Alec – but her kind heart and sassy nature won me over and I actually grew closer to her during their split. Thus leaking the pig-daughter tapes.

Kim and I haven’t been able to catch-up lately what with her doing the publicity rounds for Fifty Shades of I-Won’t-Show-My-Peen-and-This-Is-A-Waste-of-Your-Time, so it was such a treat to sit down and chat about the most important categories – Best Supporting and Best Actress.

Given the fact that I have a temper similar to Al’s, Kim was a bit scared to engage in any major disputes so we both landed on Viola for Supporting, despite the fact that she agreed that the previously insufferable Nicky Kid turned in such a beautiful performance that echoed her life and made you love her that it should be her taking out the crown over V’s always consistent scenery chewing.

Also … surely Mish Wills needs an overdue win sometime soon. And the post first scene was damn perfection.

She also agreed that Emma Stone was a lock because she is my friend and was cast in the musical whilst starring in Cabaret – which I saw and critiqued her in – bringing her luck. Though that being said, Isabelle Huppert is the most likely to upset any of the favourites on the night.

So yeah, discussions were robust meaning we needed something hearty that also hugged your soul like my Pumpkim Basinger Soup.

 

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Earthy, spiced and warm, this is pumpkin soup isn’t what you’d get in a can. In a good way, obvi.

All the veggies are baked first giving a depth of flavour and sweetness that is perfectly cut through by a whack of herbs and a smack of chilli. Dis good, dis real good, ok?

Enjoy!

 

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Pumpkim Basinger Soup
Serves: 100 people aka all the Baldwins … or maybe just 12 people?

Ingredients
1.5kg butternut pumpkin, cut into 3cm dice
4 cloves garlic, peeled
2 carrots, diced
2 onions, roughly chopped
2 potatoes, roughly chopped
4 pieces celery, roughly chopped
olive oil
1 tbsp dried chilli
salt and pepper, to taste
1 tbsp maple syrup, optional
bunch of sage
1L chicken stock
1 cup cream

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C.

Place all the veggies – and realistically you could use anything you had in the fridge, capsicum is a great addition to be honest – on a lined baking sheet (or two), drizzle with olive oil and chilli, season and bake until golden and tender. About half an hour.

Once the veg are ready, transfer to a large pot, drizzle with maple syrup, add the sage leaves and fry over medium heat for a minute, reduce to low pour in the stock and simmer, stirring sporadically, for about fifteen minutes to half an hour, or until all the veggies are tender and your kitchen is smelling amazing.

Remove the pot from the heat and allow to cool for five-ten minutes and blitz thoroughly yet carefully with a stick blender until smooth and glorious. Return to low heat, stir through the cream and coook until heated through.

Serve – immediately if you like to risk burning all the skin in your mouth – and top with a drizzle of cream and some chopped sage, if you are patient enough, and devour.

 

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Gabriel Mash

A decade of saying so, Side, Vegetarian

So you know how everyone loves Suits / Harvey Specter and (apparently) hates Because I Said So? Well in your face, I don’t (well, haven’t gotten around to) watch Suits … and would argue that the latter is my dear friend Gabriel Macht’s best work.

Ever. And forever. I mean, it will go down as the pinnacle of his acting skill.

Despite having known of Gabriel since his guest appearances on Beverly Hills, 90210 and Sex and the City, we really connected after he married my dear friend and Brisbane local Jacinda Barrett.

Given how busy he is with Suits, I haven’t been able to see much of Gabe lately so it was such a treat that he could take the time to drop by and catch up. (Particularly given I needed a fifth and couldn’t ask Stephen Collins, obviously).

“Ben – I know you think Because I Said So was my best work (and I fear that it is just when you thought I was looking my prettiest), but you need to try Suits. It is great … “

“You just aren’t selling me Gabe. Carrie couldn’t convince me to try Star Wars before her death and you wo … “

“I look really good in a suit.”

“Ok, I’m listening … “

After we got that wee negotiation out of the way, Gabe and I were able to get to the real work of celebrating the cinematic masterpiece that is Because I Said So while downing – sadly from a bowl, rather than off our bodies – a big serve of my Gabriel Mash.

 

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Now I know, I know – we had a mash for last year’s Gilmore Girls celebration! But mash is the co-best form that potato can come in and therefore we can have multiple flavour combinations … like fries, ok?

Oh and buckle up – because this creamy, spiced parmesan version will knock your socks off. I mean, I was going for pants … but socks will do (if you have a foot fetish).

Enjoy!

 

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Gabriel Mash
Serves: 4-8.

Ingredients
1kg potatoes, peeled and cut into 3cm chunks
¼ cup butter
¼ tsp nutmeg
¼ – ½ cup milk
¼ cup grated parmesan
salt and pepper to taste

Method
Rinse the potato in a pot of cold water until the water runs clear. Fill the pot with cold water and a generous pinch of salt, cover and bring to the boil over high heat. Once boiling, remove the lid, reduce heat to low and simmer for about five-ten minutes, or until just soft all the way through.

Drain the potato and place in a large bowl of a stand mixer with the butter and nutmeg, and beat on medium with the paddle attachment for a couple of minutes. Once combined, reduce speed to low and slowly pour in the milk until it is at your desired consistency. Finally add the parmesan, season to taste and give one final stir.

Serve with Steak Diane Keaton or direct from the bowl.

 

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Piper Perapoutine

A decade of saying so, Gravy, Main, Party Food, Side, Snack

While Loz got me thinking about the beauty of Because I Said So – it is like a La La Land before its time … in that they were both snubbed by the SAGs for best ensemble cast – it was Ads that sealed the deal last week as we spoke fondly of our dear friend Piper Perabo.

I met Pipes on the set of Coyote Ugly where I was performing as Adam’s stand-in and body double. I’m not sure if it was beauty, our mutual hate for LeAnn Rimes – she stole my sixth husband and Pipes had my back – or the fact that love scenes are hella awkward and you’ve got to have a good rapport, but we instantly formed a friendship and I helped jettison her into the stratosphere of fame.

I haven’t been able to catch Pipes lately given her starring role in the underrated, sudsy gem Notorious, but thankfully its likely axing freed up her schedule and allowed her to drop by for a celebratory date.

But seriously, go through Pipes credits and see how many underrated classics she has been in – get this woman another damn hit.

Pipes and I quickly got to work gossiping about LeAnn and Tyra – we got yelled at like Tiffany on set – plotted ways to reboot the Cheaper by the Dozen franchise, bitched about the Don’s worse than even anticipated first week and toasted her classic 2007 film … over a big bowl of comforting Piper Perapoutine.

 

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Yes – poutine would be classified a comfort food, given the generously gooey curds, velvety gravy and, well, potato (when isn’t it comforting?), and this date is meant to be a celebration.

But when your modern classic is rated 5% on Rotten Tomatoes, you sometimes need a little comfort to get you in the mood.

Enjoy!

 

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Piper Perapoutine
Serves: 2 sad friends.

Ingredients
500g washed potatoes, russet work best but I’m not a dictator … like Trump
a good lug of olive oil
3 tbsp unsalted butter
3 tbsp flour
1 cup chicken stock
salt and pepper, to taste
a very generous handful of cheese curds (or baby bocconcini in a pinch like I had to, but make no mistake it is not the same)

Method
Preheat oven and two baking sheets to 220C and cut the potatoes into thick batons. When the oven has come to temperature, remove the baking sheets, line them, separate the potatoes across them, coat with a good lug of olive oil and return to the oven. Immediately reduce heat to 180C and bake for fifteen-twenty minutes, or until golden and crisp.

While the fries are baking, melt the butter over medium heat in a small saucepan. Whisk in the flour and cook for a minute or two. Remove from the heat and slowly whisk in stock until combined and smooth – remove it from the heat should avoid lumps, but just in case ok?

Return to the heat and bring to the boil, reduce heat low and simmer until thickened. You may need more stock to get it to the consistency you like, so go nuts and stop whenever it gets to your preference. Season generously and remove from the heat.

By this point your chips should be done, so remove from the oven, lightly salt and transfer to a plate. Top with the curds and drown in gravy – because comfort, duh – and devour.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Diana Yiros

Main, Party Food, Poultry, Snack

I know bad things always come in three, but there was something in the way that 2016 stalked its way through killing so many of my friends that I feared George, Carrie and Debs wouldn’t be the final ones to find themselves in a coffin.

Or an urn shaped like a prozac. Fuck I miss you Caz.

Anyway, I arrived in LAX for the Caz and Debs final double act – Meryl’s singing was spectacular and nothing at all like Florence Foster Jenkins / Mamma Mia – and hurriedly got on my phone, fearing that Diana probably succumbed to her death at the hands of the murderous year.

“Hello, love child.”

“Oh no, my dear sweet Tracee – mummy’s gone, isn’t she? She dead, sweetie?”

I started to cry uncontrollably.

“Ben? Dear Ben, is that you? It’s Diana, why are you acting all upside down?”

“WHAT?! Di, you didn’t die? The cruel mistress of 2016 didn’t take you off to the endless love?”

I started to cry uncontrollably, again. This time from relief.

“No baby love, thankfully I’ve kept hanging on. I figure one legend needs to survive the year to watch over Betty White.”

With such wisdom, I knew Diana had survived for a greater purpose and after sobbing into the phone for a further twenty minutes when I realised I wouldn’t be able to use my inheritance to pay off my massive gambling debt, I invited myself over to cook her up something fresh and healthy to start her new year on the right track.

Obviously that meant stuffing her with a big fat Diana Yiros.

 

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It should not come as a shock that I love any meal that is phallocentric but there is something about a yiros that makes it extra special. Maybe it is the juicy meat, slathered in creamy tzatziki oozing out of the end?

Yep, that is definitely it. Enjoy!

 

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Diana Yiros
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
4 fresh (or store bought, I guess) pita breads
juice and zest of a lemon
1 tbsp fresh oregano, roughly chopped
pinch of dried chilli flakes, salt and pepper
2 tbsp olive oil
5 garlic cloves, finely chopped, 4 for the marinade and 1 for the tzatziki
500g chicken thighs
4 potatoes
½ cup Greek yoghurt
125g Greek feta cheese, crumbled
1 Lebanese cucumber, deseeded, grated and drained
2 tomatoes, roughly diced
1 red onion, finely chopped
handful flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped

Method
Preheat the oven to 225°C.

Combine the lemon zest and all but 1 tbsp of juice (that is for the tzatziki), oregano, chilli, salt, pepper, olive oil and four of the garlic cloves in a large bowl. Stir to combine, add the thighs and mix again to coat. Cover and place in the fridge to marinate for half an hour or so.

While they thighs are getting juiced, wash (if needed) the potatoes and cut into long, thick battens. Place on a lined baking sheet, toss in a lug of olive oil and place in the oven to bake for about 20 minutes, or until  you’ve got golden, crisp chips. Flip once halfway through to ensure an even brown.

While the thighs are finishing off marinating, combine the yoghurt, feta, cucumber, remaining garlic and reserved lemon juice in a bowl and blitz with a stick blender. Season to taste, cover and whack in the fridge.

This is probs a good time to prepare the tomato, red onion and parsley if you didn’t do that up front. Just saying.

Anyway, heat a large skillet over high heat and quickly cook the pitas on either side and transfer to a plate. When the pan is nice and hot, reduce to a medium-low heat and add the chicken. Cook for about ten minutes, turning once. Remove from the pan to rest for five minutes and shred into small pieces.

To make your yiro, smear some tzatziki on your pita, top with some chips, tomato, onion and parsley, followed by some chicken and another slather of tzatziki (and feta, if you have any left over).

Wrap tightly and shove into your gob, to devour.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Adam Brodatoes

12 Days of Chrismukkah, Side, Snack

Congratulations – we’ve made it to the end of another year. With 2016 being a particularly shitty one I knew there was only one cast I wanted to celebrate the festive season and The O.C. sure delivered, making the 12 Days of Chrismukkah a bright spark of a tragic year.

I mean seriously, I had to lose my mother-figure Zsa Zsa too?!

As I mentioned at the start, scheduling this little event was fraught with danger, what with needing to keep Tate’s (sometime) diva antics at bay and keep the narrative poignant and true to the heart of The O.C.

Because if nothing else, this blog holds its relationship with the truth to be more important than anything else.

While we started with the chris- of Ryan Atwood, it is without further ado, that I’m very excited to announce that I spent the twelfth day of Chrismukkah with the more  -mukkah half of the equation, my dear friend and portrayer of the creator of Chrismukkah himself, Adam Brody.

Fuck – take a deep breath and say that sentence out loud. Terrible. Sorry I couldn’t be bothered changing it.

As you know, I’m a dear friend of the cast Gilmore Girls in addition to being a creative force on set, which is where I met dear, dear Adam. He was playing Lane’s boyfriend Dave but I knew that he would be perfect for the role of Seth, so worked hard to lure him away from ASP and over to our new show.

Which in retrospect, probably added to my feud with ASP over the abandoned missing triplet amnesia storyline.

While I was unsuccessful in luring him to my bed, I was obviously able to convince him to take the role which I would argue, played a critical part in the show becoming the phenomenon that it was. After getting him the job, I quickly became Adam’s closest confidante and have unofficially guided his career ever since.

In the Land of the Women (working with Meg)? Me.

Scream 4? Me.

Mr. & Mrs. Smith? Not me.

See the connection – my advice is good and when he doesn’t listen he stars in a terrible movie that fostered a terrible relationship. Game, set and match.

Anyway, Ad and I have both been super busy lately – what with him starring in the upcoming CHiPs movie, which I encouraged him due to my close relationship with Erik – so I haven’t been able to see him since little Arlo’s christening last year … because yes people, I’m godfather to both Seth and Summer’s daughters.

In your face.

Since Seth was a chip – pun surprisingly not intended – off the old Sandy’s block, I had to go with my carb-tastic Adam Brodatoes.

 

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There is nothing better than a baked potato. I mean, yes, mash and potato bakes are amazing but a simply baked potato, in duck fat from Mindy’s recipe no less, is life affirming. Crispy and golden on the outside, light and fluffy on the inside and cream all through your shorts.

Enjoy!

 

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Adam Brodatoes
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1kg washed potatoes, cut into large chunks
¼ cup duck fat, reserved from the Roast Melinda Duck / Portumn Reeser Gravy

Method
Place the potatoes in a pan of cold, salted water and parboil for 5-10 minutes. Drain and shake to rough up the edges.

The more edges, the crispier the potatoes.

Transfer the potatoes to a fresh baking tray, toss generously with some searing hot duck fat, season generously and bake for an hour.

Remove from the oven and devour as quickly as the heat will allow.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Peter Gallatke

12 Days of Chrismukkah, Side, Snack

I don’t even know where to start with my dear friend, confidante and ex-lover Peter Gallagher! Maybe at the start works best? Probably. I don’t know!

Pete and I first met on the set of Summer Lovers in the early 80s, falling in love instantly – but who wouldn’t fall in love with the man that put his everything into the starring role of the adaptation of your homoerotic, pornographic novella?

I mean, sure, I was hurt when Daryl Hannah was cast opposite him and that she turned out to be a female, but that was not Pete’s fault … and he more than made up for it anyway. But that is another story for another time …

While our torrid love affair ended in 1995 when he dared to co-star with my nemesis Sandra Bullock in While You Were Sleeping, we reconnected within a couple of years after I secured him a role in American Beauty to apologise.

When it came time to cast The O.C. a few years later I was listing all of my DILF-y exes in my head but could never move beyond Pete for the role of Sandy – which coincidentally I named as a dig at La Bullock.

Despite our continued close relationship, I haven’t been able to see much of Pete in recent years – given his extensive commitments on Law & Order, Togetherness and in On the Twentieth Century on Broadway – so I was absolutely thrilled to be able to catch-up and celebrate Chrismukkah over a big plate of my famous Peter Gallatkes.

 

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When we were dating, I’ve oft describe Pete as a potato – and no that wasn’t a dig – simply that no matter which way you have him, you’re always satisfied. Both nothing is as satisfying as a latke in all its crispy, fluffy glory, thus it becoming his namesake.

Enjoy!

 

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Peter Gallatkes
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g potatoes
1 onion, finely diced
1 egg, lightly beaten
¼ tsp smoked paprika
¼ tsp garlic powder
pinch of salt and pepper
a good lug of olive oil
sour cream and chives, to serve

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C.

Peel and grate potatoes and place in a bowl of ice cold water for five minutes. Drain well, transfer to some muslin and wring out as much liquid as possible.

Once as dry as possible, transfer to a bowl and combine with the onion, egg and spices.

Line two large baking sheets with baking paper and take out large golf balls pieces of mixture, form into a ball and flatten out on the tray. Repeat until the mixture is all done.

Drizzle with a good lug of oil and cook for about twenty minutes, flipping once halfway through.

Serve immediately with a good dollop of sour cream and chives. Devour.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.