Salt

Buffalaura Cheeseburgarras

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Burgers, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap


Previously on Australian Survivor we were reminded of a series of alliances and the varying ways they failed, which is the reason the tribe is now made up of only duos. Oh and zaddy Paulie, who is so glorious, that he doesn’t need to be elevated by anyone else. As such, he was the obvious target after losing immunity. Thankfully Myles and Laura were more interested in splitting up a duo, specifically PD and Kristin, to free the latter up to work with them. Unfortunately, Logan – who always said Zara was bossy – threw a tantrum about never getting her way if they don’t take out Paulie. The tantrum spooked Laura, who fell back in line with the Paulie plan leaving Myles to steal Kristin’s idol, play it for Paulie and send PD home with just his and AJ’s votes.

We followed the tribe back to camp where things were spicy as Logan told Myles to stop trying to talk to her. She complained to all the women that her plans kept getting squashed and while they nodded, their faces all screamed, move on babes. Laura caught up with Myles, living for what he did but also frustrated to see him make himself the enemy once again. AJ meanwhile was trying to connect with the women, though the fact that Kristin asked him not to touch her, it doesn’t look good for him either. Myles explained to Laura that he was sick of everyone fiddling around and looking for excuses to not make a move, as she pointed out she just didn’t want to come back to camp and deal with Logan’s wrath, otherwise she is all good. Which AJ was in the middle of dealing with, as she berated him for breaking her trust – and their alliance – yet again.

Myles then joined the fray as AJ went to sulk, with him explaining to Logan that they never even had any trust, so he didn’t betray her. And Laura is smart and rational, and will move on from his betrayal. This obviously didn’t sit well with Logan, as she questioned whether she was dumb and irrational, with him calmly pointing out that Laura’s intelligence is why she will move on from betrayal but as they didn’t have trust, he doesn’t need her to use hers to move on. With Logan going full teen movie villain and telling him he will never have the chance to work with her, which is honestly just a lol. Myles and AJ removed themselves to gloat about their improved place before Myles looped AJ in on his other idol, assuring him that even if the tribe hates them, they have tricks. While back at the shelter, Logan continued to monologue to anyone that would listen that she will be getting one of AJ or Myles out next.

Meaning both of them are safe, no? Because this is not a good episode for Logan’s edit.

The next day things were fractionally less intense as Paulie continued to marvel about still being in the game against all odds. He was dancing with Morgan, pledging allegiance to Myles and ugh, I love to see our zaddy so happy after his power bottoming. On the flipside, Logan was still cranky, as Laura and Zara spoke about their fears about giving too much power to Myles. Speaking of Myles, while Paulie was busy pledging his undying loyalty, Myles admitted to us that he doesn’t see Paulie in his long term plans, though he will use him to get through the battle ahead. Which seems to firmly be with Laura and Logan, who are ready to take things to the next level and bring down the boys. 

Myles and Kaelan – the latter I believe now rocking Max’s speedo – went hunting for the rehidden idol, before they caught up with AJ to float the idea of reuniting with the Graduates to protect themselves from a potential women’s alliance. And while they were confident that Zara would be onboard, AJ was worried Karin feels too betrayed by him for it to work. Right on cue, Zara appeared with them calmly explaining that given nobody knows they are aligned, it is the perfect plan to pick off the pairs until the Graduates have the majority. And while the four of them agreed to take out Logan next, Zara was concerned about getting Karin onboard with that specific plan. As such, AJ pulled Karin aside to try and clear the air given she has been ignoring him since his idol play. Thankfully they were able to come to an agreement to stick together, though she flagged that she was now concerned about Myles because she can’t trust that he will do what is best for the alliance after his little move.

Oh and while she agreed to work together, trust and believe, she is ready to make a move and get rid of one of the power players in AJ or Myles.

JLP returned for the reward challenge where they would split into two teams and then duos would face off to race and collect a ball in the water and score a goal in a basket. First team to four scouring a feast of burgers, wings, milkshakes and all the good stuff. Given they were essentially shoved into tribes just after merging, I will keep things brief. AJ and Kate scored the first point for the blue team, despite Kaelan being a sweetheart coaching Logan through how to leg it through the water. Morgan and Zara tied things up for red, Paulie and Myles scored their second point, and AJ and Kate got their third before Paulie and Myles secured victory for the blue team.

Myles, AJ, Paulie, Karin, Kate and Kristin ventured into the jungle to enjoy their feast and honestly, it was an absolute slay. They smashed their shakes and devoured all of the food, before AJ floated discussing what to do at the next tribal council. Which Myles shut down, given he didn’t want all their plans to leak given they’re all in different alliances. Though he happily pointed out he doesn’t want Logan to win immunity, given it is clear they won’t work together. AJ joked that Kristin is looking for revenge against him after the last tribal council, rather than Myles. Not wanting to move on, however, Myles decided to let everyone know that Logan has an idol, which gagged they all, as he suggested it would be really good to get rid of her with an idol in her pocket.

Kate wondered if the losers would be having strat chats back at camp, so we quickly pivoted there to check. We found Logan once again complaining about constantly being on the losing side of things, be it votes or challenges. Though she did admit this time wasn’t the worst, as with Myles and AJ gone, she could float getting rid of Myles with the rest of the girls. Like the gGraduates, Morgan was keen to break up a duo, specifically Myles and AJ. Sadly for Morgan, Zara took the plan straight back to Kaelan to assure him that the Graduates are still on, no matter what he hears. As Laura watched on, concerned about what Zara could potentially be doing.

The tribe came together with JLP for the latest immunity challenge where they would each hold onto a grate under water as the tide rises, with the last person in the water winning immunity. Myles was singing and chatting through the earliest stages of the challenge, though quietened down as the water started covering his face. At the 45 minute mark Kate became the first person out of the challenge. She was soon followed by Laura and AJ before Myles kicked off the narration again. At the hour mark Paulie dropped, before a massive surge led to Morgan, Kristin, Logan and Zara dropping in quick succession, before Myles finally dropped after being underwater for what felt like an eternity. Karin and Kaelan continued to fight until Karin ran out of breath after 75 minutes, handing Kaelan his second individual immunity.

Back at camp Logan was hyper focussed on making AJ the first member of the jury, while Myles was just grateful that Kaelan had immunity as it kept it out of Logan and Laura’s hands. Myles pulled AJ and Paulie aside to lock in their plan to split the vote between the girls, with Logan the main target and Laura as back-up. With everyone onboard, they agreed to tell the girls that Kristin was their target and split up to loop in everyone else. Logan meanwhile, was equally as confident in her plan to split up Myles and AJ. She caught up with the rest of the former coven to lock in their split, with Laura and Logan grateful to be able to trust them 100%. They then looped in Morgan, Kate and Kristin, and just like that, both plans were feeling confident. Meaning someone is in for a big shock in about half an hour.

Kate and Morgan caught up, realising that they are the ones that are really in charge of who goes home based on which side they’re with. They looped in Kristin, and while they wanted Logan gone for being too dramatic, Kristin was hyper fixated on getting revenge on AJ. Right on cue, he approached the girls and quickly let Kristin know that another plan was in the works, making things super awkward. After everyone split up, Kate pulled AJ aside to let him know that she was trying to keep things quiet in front of Kristin given she is gunning for him, but assured him that she and Morgan are 100% voting with him and Myles tonight. And while it was reassuring, the Kristin confusion made AJ super nervous, as numbers clearly weren’t as locked as he thought. AJ pulled Myles aside to let him know about the rival plan, with the latter trying to reiterate that they just need to keep calm as their plan makes the most sense for everyone involved and Kristin is the only one interested in working with Logan and Laura.

Particularly since Karin can’t make a move with her one vote, right?

Wrong. Karin pulled Kristin aside to float the idea of voting with the boys, but scaring Logan into playing her idol tonight and get rid of AJ instead. The plan was for them, Logan and Laura to load their votes on AJ and tell Logan that she needs to play her idol if she wants to have any hope of surviving. The only fear Karin had with following through on this plan, however, was Zara and how she would react to her turning on the Graduates.

Laura meanwhile was starting to worry it was all too calm, so she pulled Myles aside to see where his head was at. She told him that everyone was annoyed after tribal council, before she reiterated that she can’t protect both him and AJ, so she is choosing to protect him. Sadly unaware that his plan is to ruin her game. The women all continued to catch up with Logan and Laura assuring them to stick with the plan, while Logan was just excited to get rid of AJ. Logan and AJ then caught up, hilariously lying about both of them only hearing about the Kristin plan, though they told their closest allies that they knew each other were clearly lying. While Karin was just loving the fact that she held all the power of who goes home.

At tribal council Myles was serving looks wearing his buff as a bra, though he assured JLP it was nothing compared to the drama he caused back at camp after the last tribal council. And now he has to figure out whether it would lead to more big moves, or lead to his demise. AJ admitted that he copped some guilt by association, as Logan stared blankly in the fire. Laura delivered a gorgeous quote reminding Myles that the toes he steps on today are attached to the arses he may need to kiss the next day and honestly, Shakespeare wishes. Myles stood by his decision and told everyone to stop playing the game like they were scared and to make a damn move and draw some lines in the sand. Morgan agreed that they needed to make a move, but she was also sick of dealing with post-tribal tantrums whenever a move was made. Kate felt like everyone was a little bit more paranoid, with everyone agreeing that everyone is fair game. While AJ was sure that someone would be surprised tonight.

Logan looked nervous before Karin even whispered to her to play her idol, which gagged both her and Laura, who were completely unaware they were in danger. Zara was silenced as we focused on the drama, before Laura joined the group’s discussions to talk about wisely choosing the first juror, given they set the tone of how the game plays out. Logan agreed she is scared about people holding grudges and poisoning the jury against her if she blindsides them, while Kate suggested they all need to grow up and accept it is a game and to not get butthurt. Unlike say, Logan. Laura meanwhile was whispering to Morgan and Kate to see who they are voting for, while Karin said it was hard to figure out whether people would be blindsided. While Zara was just looking forward to continuing Myles’ work and breaking up another duo.

With that the tribe voted – Myles serving absolute C.U.N.T – and Logan heeded Karin’s warning, playing her idol for herself. Sadly for her, it didn’t result in AJ leading the jury, and instead her bestie Laura was sent out of the game to become the Queen of the Jury. And TBH, after welcoming her to the Jury Villa with a massive hug, they made the right call. While she was disappointed to be out of the game, she also respected it and vowed to enjoy her time on the jury and make sure everyone rewards big, exciting gameplan. Which is exactly what I needed to hear before serving up what I deem to be the recipe of the season in the form of my Buffalaura Cheeseburgarras.

Step aside Malcolm Freburger – aka In’n’Out Animal Style Double Double – this is my new favourite burger in rotation. Super cheesy and gooey, it is the truffle buffalo which elevates it from decent burger to god-tier. Run, don’t walk.

Enjoy!

Buffalaura Cheeseburgarras
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
500g beef mince
salt and pepper, to taste
4 slices jack cheese
4 slices burger cheese
2 Briocher Bünsberg
½ cup ricotta
2-4 tbsp truffle buffalo sauce
2 pickles, sliced

Method
Gently scrunch the mince in a bowl and form into four pucks, leaving loose so there are still strands of mince. Pop a large skillet over high heat, add the meat, flattening with a spatula until about 1cm thick. Season with salt and pepper, and cook for a few minutes before flipping and topping with a slice of jack cheese and then the burger cheese, and cook for a further couple of minutes or until cooked through.

Slice the buns and toast the centres until golden. Smear the top of the burger with the ricotta, and drizzle the truffle buffalo sauce on the bottom. Pop the sliced pickled on the base, followed by the cheesy patties and closing. Before devouring alongside some fries or gems, with the best colour aura known to man.


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Kardashindy Salad

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Salad, Side, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Nash found an idol in the opening moments of the game and immediately became the most insufferable person on screen. As the rest of the Brains and Brawn got out to battle, a group of iconic women led by a witch and PTA vice-president took control of the Brains tribe. While Kent was busy trying to rival Nash by doing too much, and burning poor Max’s hat in the hope of being relevant – I mean, toxic. – and getting rid of Myles. For reasons. When Nash caused the Brawns to lose immunity, the goal quickly became to flush his idol or get him out. And tragically for Candy, it was the former, as she became the first boot.

We opened by checking in with the Brains, where we met cute little Kaelan who was serving up coconuts and winning hearts. Along with mine, because he is hot. And smart. And cares about the environment. And is doing something about it. I stan him and will have 20 of his babies. Meanwhile over at the Brawn tribe, Nash continued to make a play for screen time as he turned his shorts into speedos and gloated about surviving tribal council. He was wise enough to figure out that somebody from his alliance flipped on him though, so got to work finding out who the culprit was. And it literally became the quickest hunt, as he spoke to Zen first, who immediately admitted it and shared he only wanted to flush the idol. While admitting to us that he looks forward to blindsiding Nash at the first opportunity.

Back at the Brains, Indy was weaving a new hat for Max to make up for Kent burning his on night one. Just as I was about to make a pun about his name and certain c word, Kent broke down in confessional about how desperately he has wanted to be on the show and while it gives rich people problems, I won’t kick him while he is down. Wait, no,  he is still coming for Myles in the cruellest way possible, saying he lacks EQ and is playing too hard, which is exactly what I’d say about the millionaire who is currently bullying a pole dancer king and burnt a teacher’s hat. Thankfully I wasn’t the only person to notice, as Rich pointed out Kent was being a bit weird. We then met Indy who spoke about her plans to lay low and watch what everyone was doing to position herself well, quickly deciding that she would like to hitch her wagon to the Coven. Which is 100% what I would do, as a gay man.

The Coven too were thrilled to be in a coven, with Laura delighted by how her game was playing out so far. We learnt that her number one is Logan and honestly, I live because again, this is giving big Shonella energy. Knowing the girls need a few boys to make a majority, Laura and Logan quickly got to work finding a man to join them. Sadly, Rich became target number one as he sidled up to them to take control. Sadly for them, he was also playing them and his plan was for him and Max to pretend they’re riding their coattails before cutting their throats. And just like that, Rich and Max are dead to me.

My love Jonathan returned for the latest reward challenge where they would race down a slide to collect sandbags, which they would use to knock over puzzle pieces and then run out into the ocean to solve the floating puzzle. Oh and the victors would either get a big old fish or a big ol’ set of fishing gear. Everyone was neck and neck on the slide until Karin missed her bag. Thankfully Queen Logan grabbed a double and tied it up. It remained tight as they tried to knock the puzzle pieces free, but who really cares, given half the men are in speedos and they look glorious. Including my boyfriend Paulie. The Brawns got out to a massive lead until Nash wanted to step in and toss some bags, and absolutely flopped allowing the Brains to power ahead. For some reason, they left Nash playing, allowing the Brains to methodically work through the puzzle until Ben finally stepped in and caught them up. And then Zaddy Paulie happened, calmly guiding the Brawns through the puzzle until the gap closed. Though sadly not quick enough as the Brains narrowly secured reward.

Back at camp the Brains were thrilled to see their options with Kaelan pushing for them to take the fishing gear while Rich was the lone voice wanting to have a huge meal today and then starve for the rest of the game. As he was telling us they would never catch any fish in their bay, Kaelan snagged one right on cue and yes, he remains my icon. Karin and Logan, meanwhile, were hating how much of a flop their shelter is. Being proactive, Ally tried to lead the tribe in some repairs, while the boys joked around and complained about working and not relaxing. Specifically one of my new least favourite people, Rich. Ally took Zara for a little walk in the jungle to formulate a little plan to get rid of him and free up some of the nicer boys to work with them, and just improve all the vibes around camp. That night Karin and Ally looped in Indy on the plan and while she was thrilled to be part of an alliance, she did question whether she would have been told if she hadn’t asked and ugh, Indy, please don’t do anything silly.

JLP made his return for the latest immunity challenge where the tribes would race to untie and roll a giant spool through a course with someone perched on top to collect sandbags before setting up some targets before two people try to land four sandbags on top from a far away tower. Brawn got out to a very early lead until the Brains got their eye in and snuck ahead. Despite having a massive lead by the time they got to tossing, the Brawn tribe quickly got their eye in as Ben landed bag after bag and snatched victory, sending the Brains to tribal council. All because Rich is an absolute flop.

Back at camp he tried to distract from his flop ways as the tribe focused on how close they were in the challenge, ignoring how much of an epic lead they had. Kent meanwhile was on an island by himself, pumped to be getting rid of Myles at the first opportunity. While AJ was ready to get rid of Myles, Kaelan was not so sure given he is good at challenges which Kent weakly pointed out that they are the same height, which means absolutely nothing. He then grew worried about scrambling and making people doing stupid things, so went into the jungle for a nap. Thankfully Kaelan looped in Myles, letting him know that people are getting scared that he is playing too hard and want to eliminate him before he can make a move against them.

While the boys were feuding amongst themselves, the girls continued to focus on getting rid of Rich. Except for Indy, who wasn’t thrilled to just be a number and not in control. Zara calmly pointed out that not everyone can get their way this first vote given there are literally 12 different motives, which appeared to calm Indy a little. Until it didn’t, given Laura was more focused on protecting Rich as her puppet. The other issue was Indy, who wanted to be in a power position, so decided to approach AJ, and then Rich and Max to let them know that Karin had rallied the women to get rid of Rich. And ugh, Indy, I was rooting for you. Now, I’m not. She then threatened to come for them if they threw her under the bus and well, you know that means they’re going to do just that.

As soon as she went away, the boys decided that she was making it all up and instead decided to turn their attention to her instead. As that was happening, Laura was telling the girls that going for Rich could be a bigger problem if he stayed and as such, they should just vote for Myles to lull him into a false sense of security. While her logic is solid, Zara and Karin were not sold. Until Rich joined the girls and told them that Indy said they’re all coming for him, and as such, the girls quickly got on board with his plan to get rid of her instead. Giving us another tragic episode with Rich, but thankfully keep pole king Myles around another day. The tribe seemed to have come together until Kent woke up and told everyone to vote Myles, and TBH it was complete and utter chaos as they prepared to head off.

At tribal council Karin spoke about how the Brains had made the most of the first five days, laying the groundwork of alliances and getting to know each other. But it is all untested without a trip to tribal council, so they’re about to cash some cheques. Myles spoke about how the tribe had appeared to sour on him for being too excited to play the game, with Kent quickly jumping in to point out he was working to poison the tribe against him. With the first thing being to burn Max’s hat. And while he thought it was a fun story, I’m not sure what he was planning to achieve as everyone now thinks he is an arsehole. Things then went crankier, as Indy started to throw shade at the girls, with Ally trying to defend them and Rich started to talk over her.

The fight flipped to Karin and Indy, as Karin pointed out that she wanted a man to go home first for no other reason than to protect Indy. Karin and Zara methodically tried to calm Indy down with her ultimately thinking she was right, after they admitted the girls’ alliance is not a thing. Because of her. Rich then started talking about being aligned with his Victorian castmates, which made Laura and Logan nervous that their secret had been found out. And more importantly, unsure about which way Karin was voting. With that the tribe voted – Kent, obviously, for Myles – as everyone else came together to snip Indy out of the game before she could create more chaos.

She was in tears as she walked into Loser Lodge, so I quickly swallowed my rage and instead of telling her that she only had herself to blame, I pulled her in for a hug. And then pulled a Tyra-lite, by telling her I was rooting for her and all the women to get rid of man after man … and that she only has herself to blame for going out too soon. To her credit, Indy was well aware that she should have just gone with the flow so early in the game, so I pulled her in for another hug, as we sobbed together and manifested the female domination commencing in her honour. All while devouring a Kardashindy Salad.

This little copycat of the famous, shaken Kardashian salad, is as simple as it is delicious. Plus, when a salad is jam packed full of as much meat and cheese as this one, it turns out you can make friends with salad.

Enjoy!

Kardashindy Salad
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 baby cos, thinly sliced
400g tinned chickpeas, drained and rinsed
200g Italian salami, thinly sliced
1 cup mozzarella cheese, grated
¼ cup olive oil
2 tbsp red wine vinegar
1 ½ tsp dijon mustard
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp black pepper
2 tbsp parmesan cheese, grated

Method
Combine the lettuce, chickpeas, salami and mozzarella in a bowl and toss to combine.

Whisk the remaining ingredients together in a jug before drizzling over the salad, tossing said salad, serving and then, devouring.


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Ricotta and Candried Tomato Roulade

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Main, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor, well four years ago, we Mad Max-ed a collection of brutes and brains into the Queensland outback due to that little thing called COVID we’d all like to forget about. Despite doing away with the tropical islands, the battle remained the same and for the first time globally, the brainiacs got the upper hand as the toughies exited one by one until Queen Hayley slayed and defeated George. Like she should have, despite being voted out mid-game. Fast forward through a snooze to crown Mark, Liz defeating returnees and Feras defeating his bestie Kirby, and JLP decided it was time to get into his Charli XCX era to remix Brains V Brawns. Though back in the Samoan jungles, home to the iconic OG winner, our Samoan Sea Witch.

Begging the question, does that mean the literal witch on the cast is winning? I hope so.

As has become tradition, we made our way into said jungle with the castaways running onto our screens through gorgeous, slow-mo shots before we first meet Olympian Morgan, who is strong, sassy and well, easily destined to be a favourite. She was joined by Noonan, an iconic female local footy player who is ready to make a name for herself and yes, queen, she is my new favourite. Next up was Rapper Zen who assured us he could have been on the Brains tribe and TBH, he is ripped, so if he is in a speedo, I would be open to stanning.

While the Brawns ran through the jungle, the Brains were smart enough to hitch a ride to their camp on a bus which makes them early favourites to win the opening challenge as they won’t be exhausted, no? Plus, Dr Karin looks ripped and iconic, and could drag me through the jungle with her pinky. Rich, meanwhile, is a director and well, is confident. But that is about it. As is financial analyst Myles who joked about being a freak in the (spread)sheets and straight up pole dances in his spare time. So yeah, we have a new favourite and well, good luck knocking this King from the throne that is my heart. Max meanwhile has veins in his brains but literally got drenched by a wave in his opening confessional which means he will flameout, no?

Finally the tribes arrived to officially meet JLP by the ocean where Noonan quickly locked in her nickname and reiterated how confident she is that the Brawns will destroy. AJ on the Brains, meanwhile, was pretty confident that a Brain would win this match up … 50% of the time, much to the dismay and confusion of the tribe. Indy meanwhile told the Brawns she thought they’d be fitter, while we met Nash who is a friend of Feras, which means he’ll be an early out by laws of Drag Race (where winner’s children go out early in future seasons).

After dishing out buffs, JLP put the tribes to the test in the first reward challenge of the season which was super simple – collect a key from a very tall pole using only sandbags and palm fronds. JLP then explained that this season they would start the season with lit fires, but they would not have a flint. The prize for winning the first challenge was a construction kit back at camp to provide shelter and one would assume, protect the flame. That or I missed it and they would get a flint too. Who knows slash who cares, TBH? The Brawns got out to an early lead with Zaddy Paulie quickly getting to the top of the heap – and my heart – but realised his pole wasn’t thick enough to do any damage. This allowed the Brains time to close the gap until AJ snapped his stick. Brawns then pivoted to standing Kate on their shoulders, while Max tried to toss a bag at the key which ended up creating a barrier to block their key from moving, allowing Brawn to power ahead and snatch victory. Because all of the Brains men just kind of gave up. Except for pole king Myles, obvi.

We followed the victors back to camp where the tribe were feeling confident now that they had witnessed the Brains lack of brains, as Paulie led the team through some introductions. With Zen using the time to drop some beats, which both shamed and delighted Noonan, making her my fave. After they unlocked their reward and split some bananas, Jesse and Ben led the rest of the tribe to whip up a shelter, everyone was quickly getting to work bonding. This frustrated Nash who thought they were wasting time and not focusing on important things like starting strong and finding said idol. And as much as I’d like to say he didn’t find one, he did and ugh, I hope he just doesn’t play it and goes out ASAP because I’m already bored.

After gloating to us about being a star, he pulled out the idol to show Zen just how good he is, quickly locking in an alliance between them in the process. We then learnt he is a sweet family man, which made me soften just a little bit and feel bad about irrationally hating him 15 minutes into the season. Until he walked back into camp wearing his idol for attention. Thankfully nobody gave a shit at all, given they were focused on building shelter. That is until Ben finally spotted it. As Paulie and the girls’ raged about how silly he was being – icons, each and every one – Nash tried to build an all male alliance, solidifying the fact I need him to bounce in week one. Preferably today, right now.

We pressed pause on Nash’s shenanigans to check in with the Brains tribe where primary school teacher Max tried to get everyone to push ahead despite him losing the challenge for the tribe. After being called stupid a couple of times, he led them through introductions before we met Queen Zara who is super smart and ready to lead an all women’s alliance. I hope and pray. Particularly if it includes good witch Laura who is iconic just because she is a witch, and potentially our prophesied winner. After reading auras she realised she couldn’t work with Kent as his colours are all off. Thankfully she and Myles were vibing, along with Logan – the second coming of Shonee – and my Queens Zara and Karin. With the girls keen to form a coven and dominate the game. So yeah, lock it up – this is the alliance I want to ride to the end with.

Back at Brawn, young Zen decided to go swimming and show off his body in a speedo, which is a win and the smartest way to my heart. Sadly he said he wanted to downplay his testosterone and intelligence, which is insufferable. Particularly coming from the youngest person on the tribe. But he continued to wander around in the speedo, so I will forgive him. With Nash firmly in a power position with his idol, everyone decided to buddy up to him in the interim, with Noonan admitting to us she didn’t want to play his game nor let him dictate how they play. So let’s home this queen can navigate around it and get rid of him ASAP.

We went back to Brains where we learnt that everyone already hated Kent, as he barked orders and tried to elevate them from their mediocrity. His words, not mine. So snooze, goodbye. Take your millions of millions of dollars, and go home. As everyone tried to sleep, he snuck out of the shelter and pulled a Sandra by throwing Max’s hat in the fire, unaware that it actually makes him Holly Hoffman, rather than the iconic two-time winner. Though without Holly’s likability to overcome the drama. He then gaslit Max, telling him his hat was deep in the jungle when he woke up. He started cackling to us, promising to slowly poison the tribe with toxicity. First setting his sights on framing our pole dancing King Myles for the hat burning, so like Nash, girl bye.

The tribes reconvened with JLP where the Brains were gagged to see my nemesis Nash walk in wearing his idol proudly. Which hopefully pushes the Brains to take out the win. Particularly after Zara suggested he can use it tonight, like the damn icon she is. Speaking of which, the tribes would race to drag a heavy coconut snake through obstacles before using them to lower a gate to access a puzzle which they would have to solve. Obviously. Despite being the weaker of the tribes – apparently – Brains got out to an early lead with Max redeeming himself for the reward challenge. Brawn started to close the gap, until they started to completely fall apart allowing the Brains to pull further ahead. As Laura and Indy got to work on the puzzle, Nash ate it trying to get to the Brawns one. And then proceeded to just watch and then actively hinder as Noonan tried to close the gap. Which obviously meant Indy and Laura snatched victory for the Brains.

Back at camp the Brawns quickly turned their attention to taking out Nash, who tragically knew he would have to play his idol. He, meanwhile, decided they should get rid of Candy, who we barely know and well, that breaks my heart as she gives country Courtney Yates vibes. He quickly rallied some troops, however thankfully, his pushiness pissed off Kristin. He meanwhile continued his assault locking in numbers one by one, until coming up to Noonan who admitted she is nervous given he is 100% safe. Clearly signalling she wants to vote for him. Jesse thankfully was equally as pissed, thinking they should continue to focus on him as he is potentially arrogant enough not to play it. He and Noonan rallied a counterattack, with everyone ready to split votes on Nash and Ursula to control the vote no matter what. Oh then we learnt that even his allies PD and Zen were considering joining them to flush Nash’s idol

Sweet Noonan was obviously thrilled with the turn of events, sadly unaware that Zen was letting him know that the only way to save himself was to play his idol and vote for Ursula. This enraged one week wonder Nash, who stomped off to let her know she is the new target rather than Candy. Speaking of Candy, Paulie and Noonan – my new fave duo since Shonella – were busy letting her know that she is Nash’s target and as such, needs to not panic to avoid people turning from Ursula. Or, you know, Nash not playing his idol. Nash meanwhile was busy talking to Morgan and Kate, assuring them he will protect them if they join him and get rid of Candy instead of Ursula. But given his argument was to target Kate next, you’d hope she would stick with Paulie, Noonan, Ben and Jesse rather than the attention-seeking, chaos agent.

At tribal council JLP quickly addressed Nash and his idol, who doubled down on needing to make big moves from the very start. He gloated about finding the idol five minutes in, with Noonan pointing out that they all learnt about it six minutes in, which was a dumb move. And all he cared about was forcing everyone to play the game from the very first moments and play hard. Candy meanwhile got sassy, pointing out it is a bold move while Paulie straight up said that Nash has no hope of making it anywhere near the end after how he started the game. Zen meanwhile defended his ally, though pointed out it wasn’t the smartest move for Nash to try and align with him within five minutes of arriving. Nash continued to play cute, pretending he was considering not playing it before Candy announced that she knew she was Nash’s target, with Ursula pointing out that she is a target too, and for no other reason than being perceived as an ally of Nash. 

Ursula pointed out Candy was a target because she was weaker in challenge, with Candy in turn pointing out that not all challenges are strength based and she could be an asset where Ursula can’t. Leading to Ursula doubling down on being an asset every day of the week, so a couple of people considering voting Nash could easily just switch to Candy and guarantee her strength stays not matter what. With Kate and Morgan whispering about it being a good idea. As Zaddy Paulie looked on nervously. With that the tribe voted, Nash did end up playing his idol and poor Candy tragically found herself becoming the first boot of the season.

By the time Candy arrived at Loser Lodge, I was simmering with rage. I quickly pulled her in for a hug and gave a shrug, because honestly, there wasn’t much she could do to navigate the chaos that Nash stupidly caused in the first days. Given the circumstances, there really wasn’t much I could actually say to her other than my go-to line that being a first boot is fundamentally more memorable than every other place in the pre-merge, so at least she will be remembered. Plus, she was doomed by Nash’s terrible move which screams robbed goddess, which makes her primed for a return. So between that and the Ricotta and Candried Tomato Roulade I whipped up, she was feeling better in no time.

I love nothing more than a little roulade. They are one of those meals that look fancy and like you’ve put in a lot of effort, but are actually shockingly simple to whip. Simple and delicious, the ultimate combo.

Enjoy!

Ricotta and Candried Tomato Roulade
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
600g chicken breasts
8 slices prosciutto
200g firm ricotta
½ cup parmesan, grated
100g sundried tomatoes, sliced
1 tbsp sage leaves, thinly sliced
1 egg
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C fan-forced.

Slice each chicken breast in half lengthways, and flatten with a frying pan to form half-centimetre slices.

Place a piece of cling on the bench and layer the strips of prosciutto, overlapping slightly, to form a rectangle. Top with the chicken to cover, pressing to make sure there are no gaps (or as few as possible).

Combine the cheeses, zest, tomatoes, sage and egg in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper, and form into a sausage-shape along the middle of the chicken. Using the cling, slowly roll the chicken to enclose the cheesy filling, with the prosciutto sealing it into a giant sausage. Place on a lined baking sheet, seam side down and bake in the oven for 30 minutes, or until the chicken is cooked through and the prosciutto is crispy.

Remove from the oven and allow to rest for five minutes before slicing and serving with your favourite side. And devouring, like our tragic first boot.


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Chorissa and Redwards Pesto Orzo

Main, Pasta, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars 1, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Global All Stars twelve queens, each from a different country, were brought together to find out which drag race franchise would reign supreme. Though, given it was judged by Ru and Michelle, the Ru girls were always going to have the upper hand, no? Thankfully the first two weeks were non-eliminations, allowing all the girls to shine and help us fall in love. Though it also made it harder to see them fall week after week.

From week one, it was Alyssa’s crown to lose, coming in with the energy of a winner and having Ru in tears of pride as she took out victory in the first challenge. She was kind and congenial, raising up her sisters and acting like the grand dame that she is.

Oh shit, I forgot to write a clunky sentence to link off to all the previous recipes! Sooo, after the back-to-back talent shows, the competition got real with Athena Likis becoming the Porkchop of the spin-off. She was soon followed by Miranda, Eva, Soa, Gala and Pythia. They then all returned for the makeover, which cost Vanity her place in the competition before Alyssa’s wannabe daughter Tessa was finally felled. 

There, that’s better.

That left the final four of the three Ru girls, alongside sweet Nehellenia from Italia. And while the fact the Ru girls dominated could be called into question, the one thing that makes sense is a crown sitting on Alyssa Edwards’ head. And she served silliness, glamour and drama week after week and that is something I will always be grateful for. After finally claiming her crown, I ran into Alyssa’s arms and congratulated her on getting her flowers. She is such an iconic queen and as such, deserved something equally iconic to celebrate her win. Sadly we already did (back) sausage rolls, so she had to settle for a fiery Chorissa and Redwards Pesto Orzo instead.

I found this recipe on IG and instantly fell in love! Spicy, sweet and rich, it is the ultimate comfort food. The smokiness of the chorizo works perfectly with the creamy sauce, giving you that winning feeling, even if you don’t have a crown.

Enjoy!

Chorissa and Redwards Pesto Orzo
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 chorizoes, diced
1 onion, diced
6 garlic cloves, minced
1 tbsp tomato paste
300g orzo
1L chicken stock
1 tsp dried oregano
1 tsp dried thyme
1 tsp dried basil
1 tsp chilli flakes
½  tsp dried parsley
¼ cup red pepper pesto
½ cup cream
¼ cup parmesan cheese, grated
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Pop the oil in a dutch oven over medium heat and cook the chorizo for a few minutes, or until it starts to crisp and the oils start to come out. Transfer it to a bowl.

Add the onion to the oily pan and cook, stirring, for a few minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the garlic and tomato paste, and cook out the flavours for a further minute. Add in the orzo and stir to coat before stirring through the stock. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and simmer until the orzo is plump and the sauce thickened.

Remove from the heat and stir through the herbs, pesto, cream and cheese, and return to the heat for a couple of minutes. Finally, stir through the chorizo – leaving no oil behind in the bowl – season to taste and devour. Like the Queen of the World.


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Kale & Sausage Pizzthia

Main, Pizza, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars 1, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Global All Stars the dolls played the Snatch Game and given the season hasn’t been nice to the international girlies, it was always going to be a battle for our poor ESL queens. I mean, could you imagine trying to do improv in anything other than your native tongue? Impossible. But rant over. Pythia was a breath of fresh air, pivoting to a frat-bro Zeus 10 minutes before the shoot and someone looking glorious and firing all of the jokes. In the other group, it was Kitty’s glum, horny, filthy and glorious Princess Di that stole the show. Sadly Pythia didn’t get what should have been her third win, and instead Kitty as Prinny Di earned her, her second. At the other end of the pack it was a battle of the assassins as Gala and Vanity faced off in the lip sync. And given it was literally a song from The Muppets, Vanity leant into her silliness and sent poor Gala home.

Backstage Kitty was thrilled to have jagged her second win – that again, should have been Pythia’s – and most importantly, to finally be a Snatch Game winner. Which is once again a reminder of how good Ella was as Nigella. But once again, I’ve digressed. Tessa was feeling disappointed to have gone from winning to the bottom, particularly since she was an absolute flop. Talk turned to the lip sync with the dolls reminding Vanity that they haven’t heard Ru laugh like that in a lip sync, well, ever. While Vanity was just grateful to have Kween’s advice to put the negative talk in the boot of the car and drive on through the competition.

The next day Kween admitted she was quite surprised to see who had made it into the top seven before everyone realised that Vanity is now the official lip sync assassin of the season. Kitty was busy wishing for a comedy challenge and from her mouth to Ru’s ears, mother arrived to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be battling it out in a rich international roast. So yeah, condragulations Kitty, I guess. Pythia meanwhile was terrified, hoping their mystery guest would be able to coach her to a cheeky safe placement. Oh and as the winner of last week’s challenge, Kitty would be deciding the order.

After Ru exited, the dolls split up to work through their jokes with Alyssa hoping for rudemption after her bomb in Season 5. Forgetting that All Stars 2 exists, basically. BEAST! Given Tessa has never done a roast, she was hoping that Alyssa could give her some pointers for no other reason than she is evil. Kitty meanwhile was feeling her oats, given the jokes about her sisters were writing themselves. Pythia on the other hand, tragically, was paralysed by fear as she worried about bombing her second roast. Kween, Nehellenia and Vanity were kikiing and having fun, particularly Kween, given the other two had no material and she was having a ball reading them for filth. Oh and Vanity had no material as she was planning to sing her roast. Talk turned to the order with Kitty wanting the dolls to turn a good show, so would be putting herself and Kween as the bookends with the flops just filling out the middle. Which is kinda what everyone wants, so it even appears fair. 

Graham Norton then dropped by with a cup of joe to coach the doll. After reading Nelly for not having a win, of course. Nelly to her credit opened up about being delusional more than funny, while Tessa was worried about delivering a joke and Alyssa was just hoping to live up to everyone’s expectations. Kween opened up about how brutal everyone is Down Under, so felt ready to demolish the challenge. While Graham encouraged all of them to just focus on being funny and leaning into their weaknesses to cut through. Talk turned to cancellation, with Graham reminding them to make people laugh and that is all that matters. Kitty then decided it was time to announce the order, opting to take the opening slot and then be followed by Vanity, Pythia, Alyssa, Nelly and Tessa before finishing with Kween. And when Kitty mentioned she wanted peaks and valleys in the show, everyone was left wondering who exactly would be the valleys.

Oh and then the zaddy with the nipple ring from the Pit Crew returned and hot damn, I am moister than an oyster.

Elimination Day arrived with Kween ready to devour her set, turning everyone’s attention back to being cancelled. Vanity admitted she got a lot of hate after her first season, while Alyssa reminded her of Ru’s quote that other people’s opinions of her are none of her business and hot damn if that is not the best life advice, no?

Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by international treasure Graham Norton as Kitty kicked off the roast in an absolutely blistering manner. Vanity then sang her song, finding all keys but not a single laugh. By comparison, Pythia was not the worst. But not by much. Alyssa thankfully brought the energy back up, elevating her ok jokes with her pitch perfect delivery. Nehellenia started strong and kept the energy going through the entire set, surprising and delighting her sisters in the process. Tessa felt like she brought the jokes from home via AI, before Kween, thankfully, brought the roast to a killer end by eviscerating her competition. I mean, she called Kitty a coloniser. Essentially. Iconic.

On the Blow Me Away runway Kitty was a gorgeous combination of a bride and Bey’s pregnancy shoot, but stuck in a tornado. Vanity was draped in tinsel and I love Christmas, but I don’t love this. Though apparently her OG dress was ruined in transit, so let’s forgive it. Pythia was a stunning, elven goddess doing Ursula cosplay, and so lovely. Alyssa was a shimmering Texan delight in blue, Nehellenia was a gorgeous flaming delight, Tessa was a silver siren before Kween ate them in a gorgeous golden gown, giving us a Bey bookend.

Kitty received wall to wall praise from the judges, though Michelle did wish she took a breath during the roast. Vanity on the other hand got wall to wall demolishment, particularly for the look. The judges just felt roasting goes against Pythia’s nature as she is so kind, but her runway was once again perfect. Alyssa was praised for everything she brought to the competition across the season, and praised for her confidence carrying her through the roast. Nehellenia was praised for surprising the judges in both the challenge and on the runway, Tessa was read for letting the nerves get to her on the roast though they were grateful for a killer look. Oh and then Kween was equally as beloved as Kitty.

Backstage Kitty and Kween were well and truly feeling their oats as everyone praised Nehellenia for such a dominant performance. Pythia admitted that she just doesn’t understand stand up and as such, is fine to lip sync if her look can’t save her again. While Vanity joked that she was hoping to get another win, though didn’t want to be exiting the competition on her one year anniversary of entering Drag Race Sverige.

Ultimately Kitty and Kween were both deemed winners before Alyssa and Nehellenia were sent to safety. With Tessa the last to join them, as Vanity and Pythia were sent through to the lip sync. And while Pythia had a home court advantage in the form of Celine’s I Drove All Night, Vanity felt every single moment of the song and while she looked like ONJ, she was Celine. Which tragically meant the darkest timeline continued and Pythia was booted from the competition.

As is oft the case, particularly this season, Pythia followed the sounds of wild tears to find me backstage where I pulled her in for a massive hug. Begging for her to wake me up from this nightmare, given she should have minimum three wins, instead of going out in the middle of the pack. Eventually she calmed me down, assuring me that she was just so grateful to get another shot at a crown and show of her skills to a global audience, which is a super kind and mature way to handle it. Which is super on brand for her. So to thank her for both her kindness and artistry, I whipped up a piping hot Kale & Sausage Pizzthia.

While it is potentially the reason why Pythia lost – the pizza curse is real, ya’ll – it is so delicious you almost can’t be mad. Spicy sausage, velvety ricotta and a zing of lemon are the perfect throuple to mark such a glorious drag queen.

Enjoy!

Kale & Sausage Pizzthia
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
200g ricotta
50g grated parmesan
1 lemon, zested
salt and pepper, to taste
2 spring onions, sliced
2 cups kale, shredded
100g hot salami, thinly sliced
mozzarella, grated

Method
Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 180°C.

Combine the ricotta, parmesan and lemon zest in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Smear over the bases, sprinkle with spring onions, followed by the kale and the salami and finally the mozzarella.

Pop it in the oven to bake for 15 minutes, or until bubbly and golden. Then devour, safely.


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Chickena Sagankis

Baking, Cheese, Main, Pasta, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars 1, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Global All Stars twelve of the brightest stars from across the franchise answered Ru’s call for the ultimate battle. Or a legit Olympics of Drags. In the first of Ru’s big openings, the six dolls razzled and dazzled before Alyssa kindly allowed Kween to tie with her for the win. Slipping into Ru’s second holeopening, the remaining dolls rose to the challenge and while Pythia’s hilarious bedtime story was killer, it was Eva and Vanity who (rightly) landed in the top. And despite killing it with perfect vocals, Ru didn’t punish Vanity and handed her the win. And since nobody went home, I caught up with Kitty as she was kinda primed to trim some of the fat.

Backstage Vanity was feeling her oats, thrilled to not just put her stamp on the competition but get the chance to vibe in front of Ru. Tessa meanwhile was feeling shady about the lip sync, telling her newest sisters that it was terrible, and hot damn, I live for her mess. As she clearly came to stir the pot and be remembered.

The next day Gala spoke about being a little disappointed about not being in the top, though agreed with Tessa, and was more pressed about how bland the lip sync was. With Vanity reminding her she lip synced because she was the best in the challenge. And if she won by simply not being the worst, so be it. Talked turned to upcoming first elimination, with Alyssa just hoping they wouldn’t be eliminating each other or voting, as it didn’t work out well for her on All Stars 2. Unless she packed sequined singlets, obvi.

Ru made her triumphant return to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge, they would be throwing a ball. The International Queen of Mystery Ball, pacifically. Much to Soa’s heartache, given she is not a designer. First, they would strut their stuff on the Boss Lady in Charge runway, showing off their spy she-EO looks. Second, they would serve She-vil Villain realness before finally giving International Queen of Mystery. The latter of which the dolls would be designing in the Werk Room using supplies left behind by production. After Ru departed, things turned into chaos as the dolls pilfered through everything for the goods. Pythia and Eva kikied about their designs, with Pythia thrilled to be showing off her skills, knowing it is one of her strengths. Gala meanwhile told Kitty she isn’t sexy which adds nothing, but is kinda hilarious, no? Soa meanwhile was still bricking it, knowing that she is not a sewer, reminding us just how badly she went in her OG season.

Pythia meanwhile was wandering around helping out the girls, before Ru dropped by to check on her daughters. And most importantly, give Pythia a break. Gala, Pythia and Kween spoke through their plans, with Pythia delighting Ru with her ideas, while the others relied on laughs. Miranda drew a stick figure and had Ru giggling, Soa meanwhile was hoping to pay homage to Grace Jones while Athena planned to sell sex. And given the way she had Ru laughing, she should be ok, right? Tessa was feeling her oats, planning to make a full blown gown. While Alyssa was planning to drape her fabrics and hope for the best. In the middle of shading Tessa and being so fun and stupid.

After Ru left, Eva started to worry about her skills and pulling the look together in time. Kitty on the other hand was nervous for Soa and Athena, while Alyssa focused on confronting Tessa for calling her out in front of the head judge. And again, crown her. Because that wonky line was definitely not something she learnt from her degree.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to beat their mugs, while Nehellenia also fit in time to giggle at how bad Tessa’s wonky outfit was. Alyssa meanwhile giving Soa a pep talk about not being a sewer, but knowing the most important thing, which is selling it on the stage.

Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined by culturalista herself Matt Rogers aka Bussy Galore. Pythia opened the Boss Lady in Charge runway offering Patsy Stone doing surveillance. Eva was dressed for her daughter’s wedding, Kween served Scary Spice’s mother, Athena gave denim warrior with all the eyelets, Kitty gave blonde Baga Chipz, Miranda was iconic in a latex Carmen San Diego number, Nehellenia looked like she was ready for a Dallas boudoir, while Alyssa gave straight up Matrix bomb-shell. Vanity was an absolute whore in all the right ways, while Soa was perfection in a textured white suit, while Gala gave anime icon and Tessa gave pirate Elle from Kill Bill.

When it came to the She-vil Villain runway, Pythia gave lady-two-face complete with surgical equipment and neon. Eva was a gloriously scaled delight, Kween was an evil bush siren, Athena was lady Shape of Water, now with nails. Kitty’s tits were on fire as a shiny boobarella. Miranda gave cartoon tongueing, Nehellenia was all spikes, Alyssa gave gorgeous black swan, Vanity was a spiky night-demon, Soa was a manga warrior, Gala was a scaled delight – complete with buns – while Tessa was red. Thankfully, not the Testicle.

They debuted their International Queen of Mystery looks they designed and hot damn, HOW did Pythia make Britney’s latex look in 12 hours? Eva looked like a sexy, young extra from a Golden Girls ballroom scene, Kween was a velvety delight, Athena gave sloppy sex-bomb, Kitty looked like she was Eva’s friend on GGs, Miranda served sexy Daphne from Scooby Doo and ugh, I live. Nehellenia was a midnight delight, Alyssa was a glorious nude goddess, Vanity was ribbed for our pleasure in a ruched black gown, Soa served foreskin realness, Gala made a full suit, before Tessa closed the show in her wonky, degree-level Miss Congeniality look.

Ru announced that this season, one person would win the challenge while the bottom two would lip sync for their lives. So, yep, Global All Stars rules are just regular rules, FYI.

Eva, Kween, Kitty, Nehellenia, Vanity and Gala were sent to safety before Pythia rightly received all the praise for each and every one of her looks. Because they were ALL perfection. Athena’s first look was beloved, though the second look got lost amongst a sea of spikes and the third look just wasn’t executed well. Miranda was praised for giving something different in each look, though the judges felt the second was hiding herself amongst all the fabric. Despite it being absolutely iconic, and unique in the seas of other villains. Alyssa was beloved for all of her looks, despite the last one being a little basic. Because she is what? Sickening. Soa’s first look received all the praise, though they hated the other ones. Tessa meanwhile got all the love for her first two looks, though the third one was read for being messy and off topic, despite giving Ru the laughs.

Backstage the safe girls were thrilled to have made it through the week, so speculated who would be going home instead of them. Everyone was sure that Tessa would be in the bottom, though they weren’t sure who would join her out of Athena and Soa. Kween joked about Tessa being in the top, gagging them all as they descended into laughter. Right on cue, the tops and bottoms joined them with Tessa confident she was safe, leading to the most awkward silence ever. Athena meanwhile was busy reading Tessa’s gown for being an absolute mess as she admitted she was one of the bottom. Soa laughed at the dolls and their drama before Tessa, bless, shut her down and told her to laugh in the lip sync.

Ultimately Alyssa Edwards was deemed safe, leaving Pythia to take out her first win of the season. Tessa too was safe, despite us being unsure if she was high or low. As was Miranda, thankfully, leaving my girl Soa to face off against Athena for the last slot. And as soon as bad idea right? by Olivia Rodrigo kicked off, it was clear Soa was not looking to be the Porkchop of Global All Stars, hitting every letter and mopping up every corner of the stage. Athena served rocker queen with a little bit of camp fun thrown in, but this was clearly the Soa show, which guaranteed her place in the competition and sent sweet Athena home.

Not used to how things work in the culinary comfort space, I found Athena wandering backstage sadly, unsure of what to do. I pulled her in for a massive hug and told her that everything would be ok. Because why? First boots are always remembered, and it is the early-mid outs that we forget. Plus, Athena did a solid job on the ball and a lot of the other queens – Ms. Scott-Claus does Baga, for instance – were lucky to be safe, and as such, she goes out a robbed queen. Which earns public adoration and love, in addition to a comforting Chickena Sagankis.

While you can’t really tell what lies beneath – an underrated movie, FYI – the layer of gooey melted cheese, I can assure you this little number is as delicious as it is comforting. Punchy and fresh, with a glorious gloop of sharp cheese, some would say it is even better than a crown.

Enjoy!

Chickena Sagankis
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g chicken mince
¼ cup oregano leaves, finely chopped
2 spring onions, finely chopped
5 garlic cloves, minced
1 lemon, zested and juiced
salt and pepper, to taste
1 tbsp olive oil
1L passata
1 tsp sugar, pretty much anything but icing would work
100g mozzarella, grated
150g feta, crumbled
1 tsp dried oregano
risoni or thick crusty bread, to serve

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C.

Mix the chicken mince, fresh oregano, spring onions, garlic and lemon rind in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper until just combined. Using wet hands, roll them mixture into golf ball sized balls and pop on a lined baking sheet.

Heat the oil in a large, ovenproof cast-iron skillet over medium heat. Add the meatballs and cook, turning infrequently, for about 5 minutes, or until browned on the outside. Add the passata and sugar, stirring for a minute until combined and coated. Sprinkle with the mozzarella, followed by the feta and dried oregano. Transfer to the oven and cook for 15 minutes, or until the cheese is golden and starts to brown around the edges.

Serve the meatballs immediately with risoni (or your pasta of choice) or thick, crusty bread. And devour, greedily.


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Breakferas Basandwich

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Breakfast, Main, Sandwich, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor twelve people at the top of their games – aka Titans – were pitted against twelve wildcards – yep, you guessed it, Rebels – where the Titans lead the way in getting absolutely demolished by the Rebels as Tobias did the L on his forehead as often as possible. The Titans lost Frankie and Jessica back-to-back before the Rebels lost an immunity challenge. While the buff, alleged hotties thought they had control, Feras rallied the troops to take out Peta and Tobias back-to-back, sadly without the latter’s signature L. Kelli then was sent over to the Titans as a saboteur, failed, and then they lost Nathan before the tribes switched up for real.

Kelli upped the ante on the chaos – oh damn, Kelli was wild – before Caroline realised she needed to get rid of Viola to ensure Mark stayed loyal to her. Drawing the ire of Valeria in the process. Viola was followed out the door by Sarah and Garrick before Charles got rather screwed by a twist. Though it kept the Rebel minority strong, so whatever. Before the tribe finally grew tired of Kelli and sent her packing before the merge.

After the merge the stress of the game got to Scott as he quit the game, soon followed by Winna and Eden before Aileen became the Queen of the Jury. She was soon joined by Jaden and Valeria, before Alex put a massive target on Kirby’s back before he exited the game. Kirby’s closest ally Ri followed Alex out the door, before Caroline accidentally idolled her closest ally Kitty out of the game. The threat of Kirby winning finally spooked everyone enough to boot her, before Ray lost the fire challenge and became the Fourth Place Robbed Goddess of the season.

Despite winning the last two immunity challenges, Mark was the first to drop in the final immunity challenge. Despite being the perennial bridesmaid, Feras finally took out the win and promptly sent Mark to the jury. At the final tribal council, despite Caroline playing an extremely strong game, it was Feras that absolutely stole the show, answering everything with heart and grace before being named the Sole Survivor. Unanimously. With a big, hot Breakferas Basandwich to celebrate.

If there are two things I love with all my heart, it is breakfast and sandwiches. So yeah, this blog is full of different variations of breakfast sandwiches. Essentially a BEC but on sourdough, this one is glorious, easy and worthy of victory.

Enjoy!

Breakferas Basandwich
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
4 rashers streaky bacon
2 tsp butter
3 eggs, whisked
salt and pepper, to taste
2 slices sourdough
2 slices American cheese

Method
Heat a skillet over medium heat and fry the bacon until glorious and crisp. Remove to some paper towel, and keep warm.

Add the butter to the still hot pan and once melted and foamy, add the eggs to the pan and use a spatula to scramble by sweeping across the pan until set. Remove from the heat, season with salt and pepper, and remove from heat.

Toast the sourdough and transfer to a plate. Pop a slice of American cheese on one of the slices of bread, followed by two pieces of bacon, the eggs, the remaining bacon and American cheese. Close the sandwich with the remaining bread and devour, victoriously.


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Baked Appline & Brussels Sprourtis

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Side, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Feras was heartbroken to have lost his two closest allies back-to-back, despite the Rebels having the majority at the final five. Caroline and Mark, meanwhile, were feeling their oats to have survived against all odds and each other all the way to the final three. And were looking forward to snipping Feras on the way to the final tribal council. At a hard fought final immunity challenge, Mark shocked everyone by dropping first leaving Caroline and Feras to battle it out, with the latter finally scoring immunity. And promptly sending Mark to the jury.

The next day the final two were positively giddy as they awoke and started to get their head in the game for the battle ahead. Feras spoke about how much he has grown throughout the season, wanting to come in and play a savage game, though how he ended up playing much kinder. That being said, he was a little bit nervous about Mark turning the jury against him. Caroline congratulated them, proud that it has come down to one Rebel and one Titan. Feras spoke about wanting to do it for his religion and be the first middle eastern man to win Australian Survivor. Caroline spoke about feeling like the least Titan-ic member of the Titans, though was proud to have overcome them all and make it to the end thanks to her internal strength.

They got to work cooking up their pre-final tribal council breakfast, with Caroline feeling alive which made Feras very nervous. She likened the game to giving birth and please, give the lady some damn votes as she truly did play a strong game and this should be closer than the edit leads me to believe it will be.

We ventured straight to the final tribal council where JLP explained how the evening’s proceedings would play out. Caroline was first with opening statements, talking about how she came into the game with a massive target as the oldest woman in a tribe of very strong people. She put her survival down to her ability to build bonds, specifically forming the middle aged mafia to survive the early stages. She articulated why she took out Viola to make it to the merge, where she ultimately took flight. She voted correctly all but two times, dominated in the fire making challenge and hot damn, she deserves to be sitting in the final two.

Feras meanwhile spoke about how he came into the game wanting to play a strong game for the Muslim and Middle Eastern communities. And to have fun along the way. At the start, he clocked that the alphas were taking control of the Rebels, so pulled together the misfits to try and get the upper hand. And despite spending much of the game on bottom, he was able to pull off some wild, chaotic moves to make it to the jury. Feras spoke about his bond with Kirby and that they both were shielding each other, and how after Alex called her out, he realised he needed to announce himself by cutting her and proving he was her equal. Most importantly, he had so much fun getting to know everyone and seeing their pride, I think we know how this is going.

We pivoted to the jurors, where Mark offered the final two some advice: to be honest and admit their mistakes, rather than try to reach for things they didn’t actually do. He then asked Caroline when she was most in trouble and how she got out of it, where she talked about the Viola blindside and how she read the situation between her and Viola, and how she worked with Kitty to flip things. Aileen pointed out Feras’ biggest weakness was not listening, before asking him to talk about his biggest move. Feras outlined that he didn’t listen because playing idols is nerve wracking. On that note, his biggest move was to go on the idol hunt and while he found it within seconds, he left it for Alex to find, knowing it would shift the target on to him instead.

Ri asked Caroline why she didn’t always include her in the plans, even when they were working together. To her credit, Caroline told her she had to do it to assess whether she could trust her and that she was always loyal to those that she was closest to. Valeria asked Feras how many votes he is expecting to get tonight, with him admitting he just hopes for the majority. Caroline wisely pointed out that she can’t count on any votes, though she wanted the jury to listen and vote for who they think played best. Valeria hilariously spoke about how the final two aren’t really giving the jury what they need to inspire votes. This fired Caroline up, talking about while she may not have played the best social game, she has fought tooth and nail to get to the end.

Alex asked Caroline how she thinks she went after he was voted out, with her talking about being proud, given she always positioned herself well enough to make it another day. Aileen said it wasn’t enough, leading her to talking about misplaying the idol on Mark which ultimately sent Kitty home. Which Ray clocked as a bad move. Kirby asked Feras why he ultimately chose to send her home and whether he was scared to face off against her. He wisely spoke about the fact that his chances of winning the game are better with her sitting on the jury, so it wasn’t fear and was simply him playing smart. And to him, getting rid of his shield was actually the bravest thing he could do. He spoke about how he leveraged his idol in various ways throughout the game to last, making strategic moves to protect himself. He then listed all the people he had orchestrated the demise of. And by the time music started to swell under him talking about how proud of his game he is, and how much he loves them all, it was clear this game was done.

With that the jury voted, JLP wheeled out Iman and Murray to stand alongside their loved ones before the votes were read and Feras was unanimously declared the winner of the season. And while I would say it was well deserved, justice for Caroline, as she played a hell of a game. As they were resetting the cameras for the fake ending, I pulled Caroline aside and pulled her in for a massive hug. Raging at Kitty, specifically, for not even giving her closest ally a vote. Because like her namesake with the different spelling in 44, she played so much better than finishing as a 0 vote finalist. She thanked me for my kindness, before I cut her off and reminded her I am not kind nor was I her staunchest of supporters – she played a killer game and deserves the praise, a season rigged for her ala Boston Rob and a big fat bowl of Baked Appline & Brussels Sprourtis.

I know apples and sprouts don’t exactly sound like a delicious, tasty side, but damn, this is good. Earthy, sweet and a little bit salty, it all works together perfectly and would honestly elevate any and all meals. Specifically a roast pork though, TBH.

Enjoy!

Baked Appline & Brussels Sprourtis
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
300g Brussels sprouts, trimmed and halved
1 apple, cored and diced
2 tsp avocado oil
salt and pepper, to taste
2 rashers streaky bacon, diced
½ onion, sliced
½ tsp maple syrup
¼ cup roasted walnuts, roughly chopped

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C.

Toss the Brussels sprouts and apples with half of the oil and a pinch of salt, and pop in a single layer on a lined baking sheet. Transfer to the oven and bake for 20 minutes, or until golden and crispy.

While they are cooking, heat the remaining oil in a skillet over medium heat and cook bacon for a couple of minutes, or until golden. Add the onions and cook for another few minutes, or until they are starting to soften. Reduce the heat to low and continue cooking for another 15 minutes, or until they are gloriously sweet.

When the sprouts are almost done, add the bacon and onion, followed by the maple and walnuts and allow to toast for a minute. Remove from the oven, toss and then devour, like a Queen.


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Mark Warnorkchop & Salsa Verde

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the final four were well and truly locked down tribal lines with Middle-Aged Mafiosos Caroline and Mark locked in against our star actors, Ray and Feras. With immunity kind of deciding who had the upper hand. After Feras was pipped at the post by Mark in another immunity challenge, Mark and Caroline got to work convincing Feras to stick to his word and vote out Ray. Sadly for them, however, Feras was nervous and knew that if he and Ray split their vote, Mark and Caroline could do something spicy and get rid of him instead. This led to a deadlock between Caroline and Ray, with the fire challenge resulting in King Ray joining the Fourth Place Robbed Goddess of the season, which both sucks and feels right.

The next day, Feras was emotional and tired as he reflected on losing his closest ally and best friend in the game. Caroline and Mark, meanwhile, were thrilled to have made it to the end together despite their rocky journey. Despite his pain, Feras knew that everything came down to the upcoming immunity challenge and that if he doesn’t win, he is out. And while he hasn’t won an immunity challenge yet, he is looking for his rudemption. Sorry, redemption. Given he had been quite successful in challenges, Mark was feeling confident in his chances of taking out the hattrick. Caroline on the other hand knew that she had been underestimated all season long and was ready to prove it one final time.

Given it is all we’ve heard about so far, we met up with JLP in the jungle to see three massive torture wheels set up for the final immunity challenge of the season. They would stand on narrow pegs on each wheel, which would spin at regular intervals, forcing them on to narrower pegs, with the last person standing going straight to final tribal council and getting the choice of who to face off against. But first, loved ones. Mark’s wife Saskia came out in a red dress in honour of Queen Shonee – but seriously, what an icon for that move – she was followed by Caroline’s husband Murray and Feras’ wife Iman. After they wiped away their tears, the final three took their places on the wheels and strapped in for the pain.

Everyone was joking about their various attempts to blindside each other for the first 40 minutes, until JLP made the first crank of the wheel to narrower pegs. They survived the live transition before Feras spoke about how he knows that if he loses the challenge he is out, with Mark teasing him and talking about definitely having the taste for the win, and was looking forward to winning again. While Caroline reminded them that she gave birth to three children, so arguably, she is best placed to win this one. Which is as true as it is iconic. After an hour, JLP gave the wheels another crank, followed by one at 90 minutes before Mark opted out of the challenge after two hours. That left Feras and Caroline to face off after one final crank before Caroline stepped out, handing Feras final immunity. And let’s be honest, the game.

We pivoted straight to tribal council where sweet Ray was delighted to see his bestie wearing the immunity necklace, while Kirby looked on with pride and ugh, am I crying? Feras spoke about how much has changed in the last 24 hours, going from being heartbroken over having lost his two closest people back-to-back, but proud that he was finally able to push through and get the win and guarantee his place at the end. Mark and Caroline kindly congratulated Feras on killing the challenge, with Feras admitting he is now stressed about making the right decision of who to take to the end, particularly since he is single handedly deciding who to send to the jury.

Caroline spoke about coming so close to victory, though hoped that Feras wanted to battle it out with the best, in her, tomorrow night. Mark agreed that he would love the chance to battle with Feras, but cautioned Feras that what Caroline can say and do at final tribal is unknown and as such, she is far more of a risk. With that Feras voted and despite a clever plea from Mark, he made the wise decision to send him out of the game as the final juror.

As Mark arrived at the Jury Villa I pulled him in for a hug and congratulated him on a game well played. Despite the fact he and Caroline were frequently at each other’s throats and trying to blindside each other, I loved that neither of them held it against each other and were always willing to try again. It is iconic and makes for a fun season – I mean, who can believe we had them and Kirby and Feras feuding with each other all season long? As such, I thanked him for the drama and mess, and toasted his eventual return with a piping hot Mark Warnorkchop & Salsa Verde.

While pork chops are normally a first boot thing, when slathered in a spicy, punchy salsa verde, they are more than worthy of a final boot. That being said, Porkchop is a glorious icon, so this is worthy of her too.

Enjoy!

Mark Warnorkchop & Salsa Verde
Serves: 4

Ingredients
4 garlic cloves
2 tbsp pickled capers, drained
generous handful of mint
⅓ cup olive oil, plus extra 
1 lemon, zested and juiced
salt and pepper, to taste
1 tbsp butter
4 thick pork chops

Method
Combine the garlic, capers, mint, olive oil, lemon juice and zest, and a good whack of salt and pepper in a food processor and blitz until well combined. Taste and adjust seasoning, and leave to rest.

Pop the butter and a lug of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat. While the pan gets nice and hot, season the chops. Add them to the pan and cook for 5 minutes, before flipping and cooking for another 5 minutes, or until cooked through.

Remove from the pan and leave to rest for five minutes before slicing and serving with a generous slathering of salsa verde. And devouring.


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Valeria Katsizova Sando

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Lunch, Main, Sandwich, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Ri’s bandage helped her win a second immunity. But seriously a bandaged hand protecting her from getting rope burn as to help the situation, no? Anyway, with Aileen gone, Kirby and Feras finally locked in a solid alliance with Ri and Jaden, and decreed Val their first target. Seeing that moves were happening without him, Alex jumped ship to the Titans to form a new majority, sadly unaware that Kitty was busy switching allegiances to the Rebels. At tribal council, Raymond also decided now was the time to make a move, though was rather obvious about it, leading to the Rebels switching the vote to Alex instead, who played his idol for Val. And was only saved by Ray switching his vote to Jaden. Which is both a blessing and curse.

Back at camp Feras confronted Ray for flipping the vote, while Ri and Kirby talked about shit about him for being a weasel. They joined the boys, with Ray explaining that all he cared about was keeping the Rebels safe and as such, when Mark assured him that all would be good if he voted for Jaden, he felt it was a good idea to flip. Which seemed to calm them all. Meanwhile the other alliance were busy debriefing, with Kitty copping to targeting Val, apologising and admitting she understands if they want her gone now. Which just feels so calm and mature.

The next day Alex, Caroline and Valeria were joking about making breakfast, while the Titans crew marvelled at how lucky they are to have him in their alliance. Particularly given Kitty now has a massive question mark against her. She caught up with Mark, sharing that while she made a mistake, she was hopeful that the general back and forth of this season’s alliances  would mean they could forgive her. Because she was willing to do whatever it takes to stay in the game, given she is clearly on the bottom and has zero other options. Meanwhile Caroline, Rianna and Mark caught up, wondering if something was wrong with Ray, who admitted he just wasn’t feeling it. Which he admitted to us was all an act, knowing he has to pull the target his way if he wants to use his advantage to build his resume. As he sulked, Feras supported him by talking up how disappointed he was by the previous tribal council and as such, Ray just wanted out. In the hope that everyone will pile the votes on him out of sympathy, and he could use the advantage to take out their biggest threat.

The tribe met up with Jonathan for a very shady little reward challenge where they would race to transport coconuts through an obstacle course and then slingshot them at tiles to eliminate their competitors until only one person is left on the board. For an epic high tea reward. Feras and Mark got out to an early lead, while Ray deliberately wasted his time, highlighting how dejected he is to attract that pity vote. It took a while for people to get their eyes in, before Mark took out Ri’s first tile, Alex took out one of Caroline and Kitty’s before Kirby knocked out Alex’s first. Feras shot at Ray, Alex got Kirby’s tile before Mark took out his own tile on the way to eliminating Kirby from the challenge. Feras then eliminated Caroline, Kitty got Val’s first while Mark got Feras’ before Alex eliminated Raymond. Ri then almost took herself out, before Alex officially did the honours. Feras then took out Mark, Alex then eliminated Feras before Valeria waited it out for Alex to eliminate her and snatch the reward. 

As is oft the case, JLP gave Alex the chance to invite two people to join him on reward, going with Val and Feras. Bringing together his old and new loves. JLP then let him go with another person, opting for Kitty, given nobody understands why she tried to flip. At the reward the crew quickly took their places at the table and immediately loaded up their plates. After filling up a little, talk turned to the game with Alex and Val now besties, and he was obviously hopeful to win Feras back over. Obviously Feras assured everyone that he will be happy to work with anyone at any time, assuming that they have mutual interests. Though told us, he is over Alex. Feras started to run the pre-work for the advantage, pointing out that Ray is close to quitting the game and he is quite worried for him, so is thinking they need to look at voting him out next and getting back to the game later. While back at camp Raymond continued to play disappointed, refusing food and water and all round making Caroline, Rianna and Mark super concerned for his wellbeing. 

Everyone came together that night as Ray continued to hang in the hammock by himself as Feras asked if anyone has even checked up on Ray, as he chuckled to us that their plan just may come together. Feras caught up with Ray to congratulate his glorious acting, laughing up how funny his plan is and how gutted Caroline in particular will be when she learns it is a scam. Feras went back to the shelter to talk to the tribe, with Caroline and Kitty quickly offering to vote him out if he is too upset by the game. With Ray giggling when Feras confirmed it was afoot. Ray rightly told Feras they need to loop in Kirby if they want to move forward with her, so they pulled her aside as she delighted in the drama. And they locked in a blindside on Val, given the rest of her alliance just aren’t powerful.

The next day Ray went back to his acting masterclass, as everyone tried and failed to see whether he was ok. Kirby decided she will win immunity today, like Annette Benning and selling a house, while Valeria wondered whether things were too simple going with a mercy kill on Ray, so felt it may be the right time to use it as a cover for a blindside.

Sad Ray and the rest of the tribe met up with Jonathan for the immunity challenge where they would race to manoeuvre a ball through a multi-level maze without dropping. With the first to the end jagging immunity. Ray straight up just leant on the wobbly table and acted sad while everyone else struggled to get their eye in. Kirby was first to make it down to the second level of the maze before she once again dropped, sending her back to the start. Kitty then did the same, followed by Mark. As Ray continued to deliver an acting masterclass. Alex then made it to the second level and dropped before Caroline and Valeria seemed to survive the transition and made it to the final level. It was then a race for immunity, before both of them dropped. This allowed Kirby to take the lead and power to immunity before Val could close the gap.

Back at camp Ray pulled everyone together to ask them to all vote for him as his head is just no longer in the game. He then said he was pretty embarrassed, so ran aside to sit by himself. Feras was feeling confident in his plan coming together as everyone seemed keen to grant Ray his wishes. He was so convincing and charming even Kirby was moved, and she was aware of the plan. Feras then pitched that they all yell out something nice when voting for Ray, as he’ll love the humour. With everyone vibing and happy to see another day, Valeria pulled Mark aside and floated the idea that Ray’s heartbreak could be the perfect cover for a blindside. Specifically, Rianna. Mark too liked the plan, though was worried they didn’t have the clear numbers to do it and as such, cautioned that they think about the jury and what keeping Ray in the game could mean in the long run. Kirby meanwhile felt nervous about leaving Rianna in the dark, so pulled her aside to loop her in and rightly, for once, she grew nervous about handing him all the power.

She is right to be nervous, but obviously I don’t like the fact that her lack of trust in Ray could be his downfall. Feras, girl, we may need that idol!

Mark checked in with Caroline to see how Ray was doing, while Rianna started to spiral. She caught up with Kirby in the ocean, asking whether they can really trust Ray will vote Valeria, and suggested that instead, they should just let Ray go but voting for another person. Kirby assured her they will be fine, so checked in with Ray to make sure that the plan is definitely Val. With him promising that he wants to make up for screwing the last tribal council and make amends with them. Mark, Alex and Feras caught up with Ray, with Alex giving a last ditch effort to pitch Ri before Feras leaned hard on the fact that Ray would love the record for the largest unanimous vote post-merge.

At tribal council Mark spoke about how everyone has worked with most others on the tribe, because they all just want to survive. Kitty spoke about the emotionally taxing vibe, given there had been feuds but then everyone was making up at rewards. Feras turned things to the task at hand, talking about everything being so difficult but tonight, there is clearly one person that they can all get behind voting out in Ray. He spoke about how sad he is and that he knows he is bringing the vibe of the season down, before Val spoke about how they have all had ups and downs, but he just can’t seem to get back up. Caroline agreed she is super worried about Ray and as such, she is happy to vote him out. Kirby then quietly took the immunity necklace off and handed it over to Ri, before talking about how stressed she has been feeling watching Ray get upset.

JLP then pointed out that Kirby handed immunity over to Ri and while they downplayed things as just the usual nerves that something may go wrong, it seemed to spook the Titans. Feras tried to point out that Ray desperately wants a unanimous vote, so he’d be so upset should someone use Ray’s wellbeing to execute a blindside. While Val pointed out it would make sense to try something, despite how sad they all feel for Ray. With that the tribe voted, Ray gave a little giggle and played his advantage, as everyone was gagged by its power. JLP then got to counting with the first eight piling up on Raymond, making him immune, before Valeria was sent to the jury with only a single vote. Despite the plot being a little bit messy, particularly given the circumstances surrounding Scott’s departure, Valeria took the blindside on her chin. And while she was disappointed, she was thrilled to go out in an iconic tribal council. Which made her as happy as a gloriously fresh Valeria Katsizova Sando.

There is nothing better than a fresh katsu sando. Melt in your mouth bread, hot and crunchy meat and the fresh crunch of some cabbage work together perfectly to cheer you up after even the most crushing defeats.

Enjoy!

Valeria Katsizova Sando
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 x 200g pork loin steaks, about 1-2cm 
salt and pepper, to taste
1 ½ tbsp flour
1 egg, whisked
1 cup panko breadcrumbs
vegetable oil, for fryin’
4 slices white sandwich bread
4 tsp butter softened
½ – 1 cup cabbage, shredded
3 tbsp tonkatsu sauce

Method
To prep the pork, trim any connective tissue between the meat and fat. This will help stop it from curling up while frying. Sprinkle both sides of the meat with salt and pepper, before dredging in flour, the egg and finally, the breadcrumbs.

Pop the oil in a pot over medium-high heat and once it hits 170C, add the pork and fry for about 2 minutes. Turn over and fry for another minute or so, or until golden and crunchy. Flip a final time to even up the colour before removing and allowing to drain on some paper towels.

To make the sando, spread the butter on two slices of bread, top with the tonkatsu, cabbage and the tonkatsu sauce before closing the sandos. And devouring, greedily. 


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