Survivor: Heroes vs Villains

Triple Pork, Corndra Cheeaz-Twine

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Blood V Water, Main, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Sophie was feeling her oats as the cockroach of the season, despite the fact she only miraculously dodged the boot twice in a row due to a twist and Alex quitting rather than skill or gameplay. Identifying Khanh as a big threat, she realised aligning with him could be mutually beneficial and approached him about aligning. Which he sadly had zero interest in. With Sophie gone from the tribe, the alphas were outnumbered on Blood, though after losing the immunity challenge miraculously were able to make some new friends. After Amy found an idol, she was ready to make a strike on Sandra and take control, however the Queen had already sadly scooped them up as they banded together to boot Amy’s bestie Jay.

The next day things were very zen over at the Water tribe as Nina shared how well positioned she was in the tribe and how she was excelling at the game. While I would have loved to hear more from Nina, I was just as distracted as the cameraperson was when her ally Jordie started to repeatedly flash his bum. And just like that, I was back to stanning our overall king. Despite the excitement and the joy of hearing how well Nina is playing, I couldn’t help but become filled with dread as she opened up about being confident in her chances of making it to the end.

The two tribes reconvened with Jonathan where Sam spoke about how united their tribe was, which perfectly cued up JLP to tell them to drop their buffs. Yep, it’s tribe swap time! Given there were 19 people remaining, Sandra, Amy, Dave and Jordan were joined by Shay, Nina, Jordie, Josh and Mel on Blood, while Khanh, Chrissy, KJ and Sophie welcomed Sam, Michelle, Croc, Ben and Jesse on Water, leaving poor Mark tribeless. Well, for a moment, as he was given the right to choose which tribe to join, ultimately selecting to join Blood. Much to the absolute rage of his wife Sam, who was SO ready to play with him. Not wanting to play with their loved one however was Nina, who was heartbroken to be on a tribe with her mother given she now has a huge target on her back. And once again, dread.

Before we could enjoy any drama, Jonathan explained that to take out the reward four people at a time from each tribe would battle in a boat tug-o-war competition to capture a flag, with the first new tribe to three scoring a reward of hot dogs and soda, so you know I would have died to win if I was out there. First up Ben, Croc, Chrissy and Sophie faced off against Mark, Jordan, Mel and Sandra, with the new Water tribe quickly scoring the first point. Josh, Mark, David and Jordie methodically then worked together to tie things up over Croc, Khanh, Jesse and Ben. Sandra, Mel, Shay and Nina worked hard on the third round though were eventually overpowered by Sophie, Sam, KJ and Michelle who scored the second point. Oh and then Ben, Sophie, Croc and Chrissy blitzed through the next round, jagging reward for their tribe. And most importantly, we got to see Ben cheering in his speedo, so everyone is truly a winner.

Back at camp the new Water tribe were delighted to find their hot dog cart, quickly getting to work smashing their snacks and soft drinks. While Sam was thrilled they proved themselves as a new tribe, Chrissy was just thrilled to finally have Croc by her side before talk turned to the fact that Mark was given a choice to join the tribe with Sam and instead opted to keep themselves separated a little longer. Which Sam admitted was a strong strategic decision, despite it hurting. After Croc spoke about feeling bad for those that couldn’t reunite with their pair, Sam and Sophie went for a walk to clear the air and while Sophie promised there were no hard feelings, Sam was very sure that she couldn’t be trusted.

Chrissy interrupted the calm celebrations when she noticed a clue hidden in the side of the cart, quickly rushing to it to snatch it without anyone noticing as she shoved it up her pants. Successfully managing to keep it there, unlike Sharn. Well, until she and Croc awkwardly hugged and she handed it off to him. Back at camp, they went for a walk together where they read their clue and upon Chrissy figuring out where their idol would be, darted off to the river to jag it without anyone noticing. With Croc planning to keep it secret, given that is the advice Sandra gave him and ugh, I now love Croc.

We finally checked in on the new Blood tribe where Jordie was thrilled by how the swap played out for him, keeping him with all of his closest allies and in the majority on the new tribe. And well, to say he was confident is an understatement. Jordie immediately identified Sandra as the biggest threat and vowed to get rid of her ASAP. Essentially. Mark opened up about deciding to stay away from Sam, knowing it was the safest option for them, despite it not being what he truly wanted. As everyone washed off in the water and formed quick bonds, poor Sandra was left alone with Dave back at camp and attempted to try and start over with him, given it is her only option. While she was hopeful Nina’s strong bonds and likability would be able to help her out, she was still very nervous.

Speaking of Nina, she was thrilled to still be on a tribe with all of her allies but sadly – though wisely for her – she approached them to assure them that should they want to vote out her mum, she will be ok with it. While she quietly wondered to us whether she could really bring herself to break her mum’s trust, she also felt it would be hard to cross her allies too.

The tribes reconvened for the immunity challenge where Jonathan explained they would chop through a rope to release a net, climb said net to cross a tower, collect some boxes on balance beams, climb up another tower where they would drop the boxes over the side in an attempt to release a ball. And then use said ball to solve a table maze. Josh got Blood out to the earliest of leads, though they were quickly overtaken by Water who whipped up the nets. After Michelle fell on the balance beams, Blood managed to pull ahead again. Well until they struggled to smash their boxes, giving Water a huge lead while solving their table maze. Sadly, they couldn’t get it together as Nina started to talk her tribe through the puzzle. Though not quickly enough, as Water narrowly took out immunity.

And left Sandra to contend with her Day 16 curse. Much to my mildly simmering rage.

Back at camp Nina quickly apologised for choking while calling the challenge while the rest of the tribe tried to rally and raise her up. Sandra meanwhile stressed about having to go to tribal council on Day 16, though she was hopeful Nina’s connections may be able to keep around for another few days and break said curse. Not wanting to rest on her laurels though, Sandra caught up with Mark and pointed out she has issues with Dave should they be looking for a target, while Dave, Jordie and the cousins hung out to lock in the vote for Mel. Nina went for a walk with Shay and Josh with them filling Nina in on the plan to get rid of Mel, given she is clumsy and may be a liability in future challenges. Which was music to Nina’s, and importantly my ears. 

Sandra meanwhile was back in the water with Jordan, Dave and Amy, with them shocked by the fact Water are willing to get rid of one of their own despite being in the minority. Sadly it was at that moment that Jordie decided they really should have some fun with the vote and instead take out one of the weaker OG Blood women in the form of Sandra, and then at a whisper, Amy.

Jordie, Josh and Mark giddily locked in the vote for Sandra given she is not only weaker and from the rival tribe but most importantly, a massive threat. While Jordie and Josh wanted to give Nina a heads up, Mark assured them it was too dangerous given she could get Shay to play her idol to save her mother and ruin not only their plans but their alliance. Speaking of which, Nina, Sandra and Shay were catching up and well, this better end with an idol play otherwise I’ll be heartbroken. While the trio felt the vote was still going Mel’s way, Sandra worried about what would happen after that given there is nowhere else for her to hide. Even though she isn’t even hiding anymore.

Mark, Jordie and Josh caught up with the other former OG Blood members and Mel to float the Sandra plan and tragically everyone seemed thrilled to jump on board. Thankfully though Nina could tell that Mark and Mel were acting weird with her and as such, felt like something was up. While Jordie caught up with Sandra and assured him the plan was still on Mel, desperate to claim the scalp of Sandra in a blindside.

At tribal council Sandra spoke about being happy with the new tribe, reiterating how proud she is to still be in the game. Mel opened up about being nervous about the upcoming vote, while Mark tried to downplay the fact the original Water tribe hold the majority in this new tribe. Which Jordie reiterated, though far less eloquently. Shay mentioned that she would be voting on strength, given she is desperate for some food and to get another win. This got Sandra fired up, announcing that is not how Survivor works or how it is played, given one person is not a deciding factor in losing a challenge. Sandra then doubled down and pointed out that alliances are more important because come merge, the weak will outnumber the strong and once the strong people start losing immunity, they are immediately booted. Unless they have allies willing to protect them.

This speech spooked Shay, given she thought she knew what would be playing out while Jordie spoke about every season being a clean slate and kinda pretending like Sandra isn’t a damn icon that could wash each and every one of them any day of the week. And well, he better moon us tomorrow if he gets his way tonight because I am growing tired. Nina admitted she is nervous about the upcoming vote, with Jordie pretty much saying he isn’t looking forward to facing a loved one back at camp which narrows down the boot to one of four people, but really only Sandra. Speaking of the Queen, she admitted that she is definitely expecting to receive a couple of votes at tribal council, though continued to speak strongly, reiterating that being a pair is strong and as such, made Josh and Jordan nervous about potentially being the only pair left in the tribe.

Jonathan then asked Nina whether she felt being a pair was important and when Sandra tried to look her in the eye, she told her to look at Jonathan instead as her eyes welled up. This well and truly got Sandra nervous as she spoke about knowing what she signed up for, though she still looked gutted. Before reminding us that the queen stays queen.

With that the tribe voted and tragically, there were no miracles as Shay played her idol for herself – not sure why, though – and Queen Sandra was unanimously booted from the tribe. Once again swap-screwed on Day 16. Which is why I threw the most epic tantrum Charters Towers had ever seen when I got word that Sandra’s curse had completed its hat trick before she claimed her triple crown. 

My tantrum wasn’t pretty, it wasn’t nice and it wasn’t cute, though I would argue it was completely justified.

Sandra is a complete and utter icon and if her new tribes would only stop losing the first challenge after a swap, she should be a lock for the merge after enough time to endear herself with her new people. Instead, we’re left with the brutal tragedy that one again, Sandra is not on a jury at the worst but more ideally addressing one.

While I was heartbroken by her placement on paper, her run on Australian Survivor has only managed to cement her status as the best to ever play the game. Her strategy is simple and logical, but one that not many people could pull off season after season with her finesse.

As soon as I saw her enter the Pre-Jury Villa – no Loser Lodge for MY queen – I immediately started sobbing and ran into her arms. While she wasn’t receptive to my ideas for her to disown Nina and adopt me in her place, or to find Jonathan and production and force them to re-shoot tribal council, or even add a new version of Redemption Rock where Sandra is automatically given the win; she was grateful for my enduring love and support and glad that I was once again by her side on Day 16 to eat our feelings, this time with a Triple Pork, Corndra Cheeaz-Twine. A meal I had tragically thought would manifest the third win, rather than enacting her curse for a third time.

Now I can not take ownership of this recipe – that is Jock Zonfrillo, with some minor tweaks for my preferences – I knew Sandra’s return from retirement needed to be marked with something decadent and regal, worthy of her legacy. This very baconny, very cheesy number is near perfection – smokey and umami, sweet and salty, it is the only glorious meal worthy of someone as glorious as the Survivor GOAT.

Enjoy!

Triple Pork, Corndra Cheeaz-Twine
Jock Zonfrillo’s original recipe
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
50g thinly sliced smoked pancetta
25g smoked salt
25g dark muscovado sugar
10g ground black pepper, to season
10g hot smoked paprika
10g ground star anise
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1.2kg pork belly
1 cup cloudy apple juice
150g sourdough, blitzed to form crumbs
230g sharp aged smoked cheddar, coarsely grated
¼ cup parsley, finely chopped
120g unsalted butter, diced
60g flour
2 ½ cups milk
130g blue cheese, diced
130g Fontina, coarsely grated
130g Talleggio, coarsely grated
salt and white pepper, to taste
400g smoked bacon lardons
1 bunch shallots, thinly sliced
4 garlic cloves, minced
5 sprigs thyme, leaves removed
3 x 400g cans sweetcorn, drained
¼ cup sour cream

Method
Preheat the oven to 200°C.

Start by working on your bacon rub by placing the pancetta on a lined baking sheet and cooking in the oven for fifteen minutes, or until crisp. Transfer to a paper towel to remove grease and allow it to cool. Once chill, combine the pancetta with the smoked salt, muscovado sugar, black pepper, paprika and star anise in a food processor or blender and blitz until crumbed.

Next, score the skin of your pork belly and rub it with oil followed by all but 2 tbsp of the bacon rub, getting it on the meat and skin until it is gorgeously marooned. Pop the pork belly on a rack in a baking dish, skin side up, and pour the apple juice into the dish. Transfer to the oven and cook for 15 minutes, before reducing the heat to 180C and cooking for a further hour. Keeping an eye on the apple juice in the pan and topping up with more, or water, should it run dry. Remove from the oven and leave to rest.

While the pork is getting gorgeously browned, combine the bread crumbs, 100g of the smoked cheddar, parsley and the remaining bacon rub in a bowl until combined.

Next step – FYI, there are a lot of steps and it is what Sandra deserves, so deal – melt half the butter in a large saucepan over medium heat until foamy. Add the flour, whisk and cook for a minute or so. Remove from the heat and slowly whisk in the milk to combine before returning to the heat and bringing to a simmer. Reduce heat to low and cook for a couple of minutes before adding the remaining cheeses and cooking for a further couple of minutes, or until well combined. Season and keep warm.

In another saucepan, melt the remaining butter over medium heat and cook the lardons for five minutes or until starting to caramelise. Add the shallots, garlic and thyme and cook for further five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the corn and stir until warmed through.

When the smells have you more than ready to eat, cut the pork belly into a dice, reserving the crackling for a side or to top. Combine the corn and lardon mixture with the cheese sauce, before folding through the pork belly and sour cream.

Transfer to a baking dish, top with the crumb and pop in the oven to cook for 15 minutes, or until golden and crisp. Serve immediately and devour, eating all your feelings away before the next episode.

And remember, the Queen will always stay Queen. Day 16 curse be damned!


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Thaison Beef Salapostol

Main, Salad, Survivor, Survivor: Winners at War, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Parvati and Danni found an advantage on the Edge and while they planned to keep their riches secret, were caught and had to share it with their fellow old schoolers. Aka everyone but Yul and Wendell, given they hadn’t been suffering as long. After the immunity challenge, the tribe returned to camp where things immediately descended into chaos. In the span of 30 seconds of screen time literally everyone’s name was thrown out except for Kim and that was only because she had immunity. The chaos continued at tribal council where everyone was whispering during deliberations, which made Adam so nervous he tried to play Probst’s podium as a hidden immunity idol. And given it clearly wasn’t one, he was swiftly sent to the Edge when the votes piled up on him.

Forgoing any interlude, Probst appeared to welcome the remaining contestants for the reward challenge featuring a little bit of love. Yes my friends, it is time for the loved ones visit! We first met Kim’s husband and three kids, and instantly everyone dissolved into a puddle of tears knowing that they too will soon see their entire families. And the fact that Kim’s adorable kids were too shy to walk around the corner to see her. Ben’s wife and kids were next, cute but not as cute as Kim’s family. Though Ben did give a really nice speech about how grateful he is to Survivor. Sophie and her husband are couple goals, Sarah’s partner and son were super cute – and hot damn, she is tough to have played Game Changers while her son was so little – and then Denise’s husband and daughter arrived and they are just so cute. Adopt Malcolm and they are officially my favourite family.

Nick and his fiance are adorkable and I live for them, and then Tony broke down at the sight of his wife and young kids and honestly, that is where I lost it. So pure, so gentle, I love him and well, he can be the King to Sandra’s Queen. Poor Michele joined the one-visitor club as her sister was wheeled out and while it isn’t as emotional as the entire family, you know they’d love to party. Tyson’s wife and former contestant Rachel arrived with one of his daughters and honestly, they are too pure for this world. And hot damn, how is this his first ever family visit? Rounding out the group, Val brought out all of her and Jeremy’s homemade idols to visit their dad – two of which were born after Val’s two idol season in San Juan del Sur. Coincidence, I think not.

After a little psych out about forcing the contestant’s kids into slave labour, Probst announced that for the first time in Survivor history there would be no actual challenge and instead everyone would be going back to camp so that they could all feast with their families. Seeing Tyson, Sarah and Ben goofing around with their kids was literally the best thing I have seen on Survivor. Well, except for this …

Meanwhile at the Edge of Extinction everyone noticed a boat full of people approaching and worried about what they could be in for. Then Natalie spotted Nadiya and lost it, screaming to the tribe as she ran to shore to hug her twinnie and the cutest baby I have ever seen. Everyone started sobbing at the mere sight of their families, but honestly Rob and Amber’s kids and Parvati and Samoa John’s baby were the standouts – I mean, the mini-Marianos are adorbs. Wait, now Adam is sobbing to his dad who couldn’t come out last time because his wife was battling cancer, Yul’s family are perfect, Ethan and his wife are sweet, Danni and her kids are cute. I love it all. Even Ethan and Parvati making out with their partners. As they said goodbye to their families, Natalie well and truly had a fire in her belly to be strong like her baby niece and slay the next challenge.

With all the love out of the way, my love Jeffrey returned to get the game back on track with the next immunity challenge. And let’s just focus on how iconic Kim is for not doing the annoying “I’m not giving it back, Jeff” schtick, okay? Anyway, the challenge requires them each to hold on to a rope to balance a tray and then walk towards it with blocks to spell out immunity. So you know Ben will suck, given he failed at spelling on Triple H. Kim, Tony, Tyson, Nick and Jeremy got out to an early lead until the latter’s risky play made him drop his first five letters. Kim was the next to drop, handing Tony and Tyson the lead. Until Tyson dropped, followed by Nick and Jeremy – again – making it now a race between Tony and a surging Ben. Thankfully Tony maintained his lead and avoided a disaster – while Ben dropped – handing him his first ever individual immunity challenge victory. And two fire tokens.

Back at camp Tony was thrilled to finally take out victory, though shocked that it was a slow and steady style challenge, which is far from his forte. Knowing immunity gives him power, Tony waited until Jeremy approached him and suggested that they split up Sarah and Sophie who had grown to be very tight. Sarah then approached him and suggested getting rid of Kim given she is charming and has everyone in her back pocket. Tony however disagreed and suggested Tyson instead, given Kim could be dealt with later. They then squabbled like a married couple and honestly, I love their chaotic energy. Tony approached Ben and Nick about potentially blindsiding Jeremy, given his game isn’t in sync with his. Meanwhile Jeremy was chatting to Kim and Tyson, suggesting that they band together with Denise and Michele to take control of the game. Kim then shared intel about her idol and vowed to use it to protect themselves and get rid of Sophie, wanting to go out taking a swing rather than not bothering.

Meanwhile Sarah caught up with Ben and Nick, and was shocked to learn that they would now be targeting Jeremy instead. And while Sarah wasn’t on board with the idea, she came around when Tony shared that they were voting for him because he tried to target her. Tyson and Jeremy caught up again, with Jeremy filling him in on his exit tribal council power though Tyson reminded him that that screws their alliance out of a vote and guarantees their plan fails, which appeared to be enough to trigger Jeremy’s firefighting, all-in-this-together spirit. Emphasis on appeared. Oh and on their way out to tribal, Sophie pulled Sarah aside and suggested she play the steal a vote to guarantee their safety and hot damn, this could get messy!

At tribal council Nick spoke about the fact the game had finally kicked into gear as whispering already commenced. Jeremy spoke about how chaotic everything was as everyone else joined the whispering, with Tony thrilled that he finally had immunity. Kim spoke about paranoia kicking off the whispering, Jeremy said that it was crazier than Second Chances and then as such, when Jeff said that they should head out to vote both Jeremy and Sarah tried to put a stop to it. Neither wanted to go first, so sat back down leading to Jeff sending them to vote before they both called out his name again. Sick of Sarah playing coy, Jeremy took his chance, got up and played his advantage to exit tribal council immediately. This left Tyson, Kim and Denise to hang their heads, immediately kicking off the whispering again. Sick of it, Sophie decided to put a stop to it and called her allies away to pick a target, while the other four nervously tried to formulate a plan.

With everyone locked in, Sarah put a stop to the proceedings again and opted to use her advantage and steal Denise’s vote. Finally, the tribe – minus Denise – headed out to vote, Kim decided to play her idol for Denise, which sadly only negated two votes against her, as the rest piled up on Tyson, sending him back to the Edge of Extinction. This time, he called out my name asking for his latest little snackie to help him settle back into hell. I hug him and told him how heartbroken I was that he never really got to find his footing this season, until he yeah yeah food-ed me, until I handed over Thaison Beef Salapostol and returned that fire to his belly.

As I often remind you, I normally follow Marge Simpson’s belief that you don’t make friends with salad, but this is another one that bucks that trend. Spicy, sweet and warm, it is honestly perfect. I mean, it is almost hearty?!

Enjoy!

Thaison Beef Salapostol
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 birds eye chilli
2 garlic cloves
two handfuls of coriander, plus extra for garnishing
1 tbsp caster sugar
¼ cup fish sauce
2 limes, zested and juiced
2 tbsp vegetable oil, plus extra for frying
salt and pepper, to taste
500g beef sirloin, at room temperature
4 cups mixed lettuce leaves
handful of mint leaves, plus extra to garnish
1 cup cherry tomatoes, quartered
½ small red onion, thinly sliced
½ cup roasted peanuts, roughly chopped

Method
Pop the birds eye, garlic, half of the coriander, caster sugar, fish sauce, lime zest and juice, and vegetable oil in a food processor with a pinch of salt and blitz until almost smooth and combined. Cover and leave to rest.

Place a skillet over high heat and once scorching hot, rub a little bit of oil on the steaks and sprinkle with some salt and pepper. Add to the skillet and cook for a couple of minutes, before flipping and cooking for another minute (depending on the thickness of your steak). The goal is to cook the steaks to a medium rare. Remove from the skillet to a plate, tent in some foil and leave to rest for 10 minutes.

Pop the lettuce and mint in a bowl with the remaining coriander and toss through a couple of tablespoons of the dressing. You want them dressed, but not wet. Thinly slice the beef against the grain and combine in another bowl with the tomatoes, red onion, peanuts and remaining dressing. To serve, layer the dressed leaves on the bottle of your plate, top with the beef mixture and a sprinkle of extra herbs. And then devour, like an icon.


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Ice Cream Sandrawich Diaz-Twine

Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor: Winners at War, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor everyone was feeling rather zen after sending Rob to the Edge of Extinction. Speaking of which, Tyson jagged himself an idol nullifier which he sold to Parv before buying himself some peanut butter because if there is one thing Tyson is going to do, it is Tyson. The tribes were gagged at the immunity challenge to learn that only one tribe would be winning and the other tribes would each be booting someone from the game. At Sele, Michele and Parvati knew they were screwed, particularly the latter, given she was the biggest threat in the game. Emphasis on was as despite their best efforts to turn the boys on Wendell’s shifty ways, the former Dakals stuck together to send Parvati to the Edge.

Skipping back a few hours, we ventured over to Dakal where Tony excused himself to build a spy bunker, rather than strategising with his allies. This left Jeremy time to approach Sandra to see what she was thinking, with Sandra sharing that it is likely that she would stick with OG Dakal. And made Jeremy nervous enough to consider using his Safety without Power advantage. Denise then caught up with Sandra and Kim, with Sandra pulling them away from any potential spy bunkers before Sandra assured Denise that she loves and respects her. Proving her therapist credentials, she knew to downplay her skills and appeal to their egos before casually trying to direct their vote on to Jeremy instead of herself. Kim and Sandra then went for a walk alone to discuss their best option while worrying that Tony had built a spy shack, rather than help decide who to vote out. 

Eventually he appeared and lied that he fell out of a tree looking for idols, before Kim tried to calm him down and get him to focus. Jeremy stumbled upon the scene and the foursome agreed that the threats needed to stick together, while Sandra quietly worried that Jeremy sticking around would only benefit Tony and she has plenty of other allies elsewhere. Wanting to save Denise, Sandra approached her at the shelter and offered her her hidden immunity idol for two fire tokens, saving herself and letting Denise choose who goes home at tribal council.

At tribal council Kim spoke about the focus of the game being the threats versus the non-threats, with Sandra agreeing it is the focus and while they had all won, some people just aren’t on people’s minds. And then identified Denise as a non-threat. Denise defended herself and spoke about the fact that everyone has proven successful using different styles of play. Jeremy spoke about the obvious thing to do being him, Tony, Sandra and Kim sticking together and getting rid of Denise, however that is only because the other option of voting down tribal lines means that he is screwed. Tony spoke about all the winners being smarter than voting along tribal lines, Jeremy tried to highlight his strength while Denise reminded everyone that she is loyal and continued to low-key play such a killer game. Jeremy congratulated Denise for being like a duck, calm up top and crazy under the surface which is something he was doing the opposite of lately. Oh and then Sandra casually reminded everyone – read: Denise – to use all the tools they have at their disposal.

With that the tribe voted and boy did Denise listen, playing Sandra’s idol for herself before returning to her seat … and then playing her second idol on Jeremy, guaranteeing the safety of both Seles. With that Jeff finally read the votes and Sandra was correct, Denise was not going home, instead she was as Denise brutally sent her from the game with only one vote against her THANKS TO HER OWN IDOL. I mean, Sandra will always be my favourite player but fucking DAMN, that was an iconic move from Denise. The Queen is dead, long live the Queen. Iconic, but I guess we’ll see if it will pay off in the long run.

As Sandra exited tribal council she was distracted by my heavy, ugly cries and found me breaking down in the bushes. While Denise’s move was showy and brutal, it was too much for me to take after watching Parvati exit the game moments earlier. As we now know, it also ushered in the end of times. But let’s ignore the real world and go back to Survivor. Sandra pulled me in for a massive hug and assured me that she will always be the first and only person to win back-to-back (in seasons that didn’t force a second two-time winner, to boot) and as such, was always going to be a crown for someone to claim. And while she was shocked it was Denise, that bitter pill was quickly washed down by a Ice Cream Sandrawich Diaz-Twine.

This recipe is basically the opposite of Sandra’s game – which looks effortless but is actually super nuanced and only works for her – in that it is super simple. Basically make (or buy) some cookies, make (again, or buy) some ice cream and assemble.

Enjoy!

Ice Cream Sandrawich Diaz-Twine
Serves: 2 dear friends, who are also icons.

Ingredients
8 cookies
2 cups ice cream

Method
Okay, strap in – this is a difficult one to follow.

Pop four cookies top down on a lined baking sheet. Split the ice cream in four and form into discs, and place on the cookies. Then close the sandwiches with the remaining cookies. Cover the tray and transfer to the fridge to set for a couple of hours.

Then devour and eat through the pain of losing the queens back-to-back. And that pandemic, you know?


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Parvati Shalloaded Sausage Rolls

Lunch, Main, Snack, Street Food, Survivor, Survivor: Winners at War, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor we skipped checking in on our Queen of Fire Tokens Natalie and her friends on the Edge as it was time for the tribe switch! Sandra and Tony remained on top with Kim on new Dakal, while Parvati and Michele were driving the boys wild on new Sele and the mess trio of Rob, Ben and Adam were joined on the newly formed Yara tribe along with Sarah and Sophie. After the latter messed up the puzzle and booked Yara a trip to tribal council, the boys locked in their votes for Sarah despite their differences. Then Rob robbed, forcing everyone into the buddy system for the afternoon, allowing Sarah and Sophie to pantomime some plans to the boys before they joined together to blindside Rob from the game.

We ventured back to Yara the next day where the kids were thrilled to be liberated from Boston Rob; free to do what they pleased and talk to whoever they damn wanted. Ben shared that he voted for Rob because he felt a general lack of respect from him, which is why he wanted to reclaim control of his own game. Plus, he had grown really close to Sophie and Sarah and couldn’t bring himself to vote them out. Something that Adam noticed, and now worried that voting out Rob was not a good move for his game as he is now well and truly on the bottom of this tribe.

Speaking of Rob, he was loving life on the Edge of Extinction, hanging with his wife and being all cute until Tyson arrived with a note written on a log offering them the chance to earn another fire token. Obviously this filled Natalie, Amber, Danni and Ethan with dread having flashbacks to their torturous challenge before Tyson explained that they wouldn’t be pushed to the brink – today – and instead, would need to search amongst stones to find their reward, being mindful of being in the right place at the right time. Obviously that meant something about the tides and while Rob and Amber climbed the cliff, Tyson hung close to the shore and found an idol nullifier tethered to a log. Sadly for him, Rob saw him find it, leading to him needing to pretend to pee so that everyone would turn around so that he could grab it. Knowing that Parv is rolling in fire tokens, Tyson sold it to her and then immediately purchased a jar of peanut butter with his token. Rather than an advantage in the return challenge. Which honestly, is the exact choice I would make in that situation. Plus, it does give him some energy for the challenge anyway.

My love Jeffrey arrived for this week’s immunity challenge where the tribes would race out to a boat and retrieve three bags of rice. They would then work them through an obstacle, take it back to the shore and cut the bags to release three balls … which they would then use to complete a table maze. Oh and to make matters worse, only one tribe would be winning immunity today, as both losing tribes would attend tribal council separately and vote somebody out. Making everyone look like they were about to shit their pants, something that knowledge that PB&Js awaited the winners couldn’t even allay.

Yul got Sele out to an early lead, wth Yara and Dakal fighting it out for second place. Sele quickly got all their bags through the obstacle, with Dakal working hard to close the gap while Yara brought up the rear. Wait, no, they caught up again and Dakal was behind. Sele and Yara both made it to the maze at the same time, giving them an early lead over Dakal. Nick made quick work of the puzzle, landing the first ball, with Sophie quickly following and landing Yara’s first. Wendell and Kim each dropped their balls for Dakal and Sele leaving Adam to land Yara’s second ball. Wendell managed to land a second ball for Sele while Sophie danced around the third ball for a couple of seconds before ultimately landing it and giving Yara immunity.

Back at Sele the tribe commiserated about their loss while Parvati shared that she is feeling well and truly screwed, given the guys hold the numbers and that she is the biggest threat left in the game. Nick was sad about potentially getting rid of Parv, given he had always wanted to play with her but knew that he had to stick with his allies. Meanwhile Michele and Parvati caught up and agreed that yeah, Parvati is pretty much screwed, but Michele got to work trying to find one person to flip over to them. She started by approaching her ex about throwing a vote on him with Parvati to guarantee she gets her fire tokens when she is booted. This obviously made Wendell nervous and angry that she would force the vote to needlessly end up at 3-2. Parvati then tried her hand talking to Wendell and while the two of them couldn’t see eye to eye or trust each other, he did offer to vote however she wanted him to for two of her fire tokens.

While she got nothing out of him, she used that information to approach Nick to let him know that Wendell would vote him out if she paid him two fire tokens and as such, he shouldn’t trust him. And obviously that was enough to put doubt in Nick’s mind as he realised that while Parvati is a threat, it is very obvious, while he didn’t expect Wendell to be playing such a dirty game against him and as such, maybe now is the right time to turn on him.

At tribal council Wendell spoke about the fact that this season would be dictated by prior relationships, however his plan is to compartmentalise and stab everyone in the back if and when he needed. This made Nick nervous, agreeing that that may have been how they played their winning games, but that may not be the right way to win this time. Michele agreed that everyone has played a winning game and each game is different, for example, hers was more social and maybe that is what it will take this time. Parv joined the fray to agree with the others, reminding them that she likes to work with people and build trust, rather than backstabbing them. Which is true. This made Wendell annoyed because everyone was painting him as the bad guy in the situation, when he hadn’t even actually backstabbed anyone but was simply being real. Which I guess is true, but is also a terrible thing to say in Survivor.

Parvati slyly mentioned that maybe that was a pointed comment at Michele – QUEEN – with Michele agreeing that Wendell doesn’t really speak to her kindly because they have gone through things together. Parvati admitted that she feels like Wendell hasn’t really been open to her all game, which annoyed him and made him talk about the fact he was open with her about the fact she would be going home. Parv called him out on it and mentioned the offer to vote with her, which he jumped on and agreed that it is still on the table. Parv being the icon that she is, pushed him to name a name then and he stammered into silence, hopefully enough to convince Yul or Nick to join her. Wendell then tried to play the victim, sharing that he is the only one giving anything and she didn’t bother trying to come to the table.

Yul admitted that he was feeling nervous after watching them fight, unsure whether the plans that were made that afternoon would go ahead. Michele said that she loves everyone and that she truly didn’t want to hurt anyone, leading to Nick telling her that she needs to grow a backbone because people will be turning on each other for $2M. With that the tribe voted and despite pushing hard, Queen Parvati was tragically booted from the game. Though honestly, the fact she lasted this long has been a near miracle given the size of her target. Oh and in a moment of solidarity with an up and coming queen, she bequeathed her tokens to Michele.

I grabbed Parv on her way out the door and pulled her in for a massive hug. While I was gutted to see her go out the door, she once again came into the game with the biggest target and the fact it took a bad swap to finally take her out after a masterful start to the game was nearly exhilarating. Plus, if one of those Edge challenges is endurance, she is the clear favourite to come back. She was obviously touched by my gushing, though more touched we got to share a pair of Parvati Shalloaded Sausage Rolls like the besties we are.

These are a little bit basic and a little bit trashy, but so am I. And when something tastes this good, I will defend it for all time. Combining all the fixin’s – to borrow a phrase of Probst – from loaded fries and throwing them on a snag roll, it is the easiest way to fill you with joy. Or dull the pain of losing Parvati.

Enjoy! 

Parvati Shalloaded Sausage Rolls
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 Alyssausage Edwards Rolls or frozen ones, no judgement
4 rashers streaky bacon, diced
⅓ cup vintage cheddar, grated
3 shallots, sliced
1 tbsp sour cream
pinch of smoked paprika

Method
Cook the sausage rolls per Alyssa’s recipe (or the packet instructions).

Pop a small skillet over medium heat and cook the bacon until nice and crisp.

To assemble, pop a snag roll on your plate, top with a little bit of cheese, some bacon, the shallots and a little more cheese – the quantity is but a suggestion, follow your heart not your cardiologist. Drizzle with the sour cream and dust with the smoked paprika, before devouring immediately.


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Rob Mariagnocchi

Main, Pasta, Survivor, Survivor: Winners at War, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Survivor the wealth was spread a little bit on the Edge, as they were all offered a fire token for free if they could transport twenty logs from the top of the mountain to camp. Which they did, but not before breaking down emotionally and physically. Parv and Rob continued to grow closer on Sele, and hilariously caused a little chaos for Adam, telling Jeremy and Michele he was out to get them. Thankfully for Parv though, it wasn’t necessary, as Sele finally won another challenge thanks to Nick choking. Over at Dakal, Tyson tried to use Nick bombing the challenge to rally the tribe against him. Sadly though, Sandra couldn’t move past the fact he targeted her, so the rest of the tribe went with the easy vote and sent Tyson to the Edge.

We started things out by checking in on Dakal, where Queen Sandra was holding court and congratulating her underlings on making it a third of the way through. Nick was thrilled to have survived the last tribal and to see his hero Tyson booted instead, given he was causing disharmony. Well he was thrilled about it until he discovered that Tyson had bequeathed his fire token to him and as such, he worried he may have gotten rid of a potential ally. Which is some 4D chess from Tyson, TBH. Speaking of new bonds, Yul and Sarah were hanging out with the former sharing that he is shocked – and thrilled – to find that he likes them all on a personal level. He then shared that the only person he stayed in contact with from his season is the iconic Jonathan Penner. This then led to the heartbreaking reveal that Jonathan’s wife Stacey has been diagnosed with ALS, which has progressed rapidly and left them verging on ruin.

Yul then broke down in tears and oh my God, I couldn’t love him more. Plus, Sarah offering him a hug is the best she has been since the Varner–Zeke scandal.

Before I even had a chance to wipe away my tears Jeffrey joined the tribes on the marooning island to announce the tribe swap. Much to Rob’s chagrin, since it led to his first loss in Marquesas. As everyone revealed their new buffs, Rob found himself starting over again on the new Yara tribe, with Ben, Adam, Sarah and Sophie. Much to Adam’s fear, given his fellow former Sele peeps don’t get along. They were facing off against Dakal, featuring Mum and Dad, Kim, Denise and Jeremy – ripe for Advantageddon 2.0 – and Sele, home to Nick, his crush Parvati, Yul and exes Michele and Wendell.

We returned to Dakal where Jeremy and Denise were shocked by how great their new shelter was, thrilled to be moving on up in the world. Jeremy was also thrilled to discover that Kim was on the outs on her former tribe and as such, his minority position may be no more, given she seems down to flip on Tony and Sandra ASAP. Which is a sentiment she echoed to Denise. Meanwhile Tony and Sandra were talking about the importance of sticking together as two of the biggest targets, agreeing that Kim is a great target and as such, they all need to stick together. Because, and to quote Tony, the lions need to work together so the hyenas don’t win. Oh and then to solidify her new, glorious position, Kim caught an eel the size of an anaconda and just like that she is sitting pretty.

Over at Love Island, aka Sele 2.0, Nick was thrilled to be in the majority of his new tribe and most importantly, living with his high school crush. Meanwhile Wendell was not so thrilled, given the fact that the shelter is absolute dog shit and he is pretty much starting over from scratch. And more importantly, he is stuck with someone he dated or hung with, depending on whose story is to be believed. On the same tribe for the first time in 27 seasons, Parvati and Yul reconnected, with the latter telling Parv that she is his wife’s favourite player of all time. Continuing the love for Parv, Nick pulled her aside and admitted to his crush for her. And between that and the tension between Michele and Wendell, she was laughing it up like she, Cirie, Amanda and Natalie had just convinced Erik to give up immunity.

The former couple caught up and honestly, Michele just showed how much of an icon she is – she gave him a wink and asked if it would be awkward for him, leading to him stammering around his response while she giggled away. She then caught up with Parvati and the two trash talked the boys – ‘New season, who dis?’ – before joking about giving the boys something to drool over and going for a swim. And oh God, can they be the final two?!

Meanwhile over at the newly formed Yara tribe, Ben was annoyed to be stuck with Rob and Adam, the two people he trusted least on Sele as they both actively worked to blow up his game. Sarah on the other hand quickly worked to do damage control with Rob, identifying Tyson as the reason Amber was voted out and assuring him that that was why he was voted out the night before. To defend Amber’s honour. The five went wandering around to explore their new island before talk turned to how in the hell Ethan got voted out. The boys then freely gave up the fact that they don’t really get along and as such, Sarah and Sophie got to work seeing who would be willing to work with them. And after quickly learning that all three were open, they were thrilled to discover they could choose who to form that majority with. Which made Sophie nervous, given surely the boys would figure out their best hope is together, no? 

With that, the tribe split up to hunt for the new tribe’s idol with Rob sharing how difficult hidden immunity idols were for him to grasp. While he found one on Redemption Island, he had clues and as such, wasn’t confident in his abilities to find one without one. While he was echoing Amber’s struggles in the first episode, Sophie snatched the idol and even survived a joking ‘empty your pockets’ from Ben before she learnt that she too had to give up half to someone by sundown. As such she found Sarah, filled her in and handed over the half, hopeful that it would come back to her like how she returned Kim’s half to her. And just like that, the girls had two advantages and a fractured trio to save them from their shitty hand.

Jiffy Pop returned for the first three-way immunity challenge where the tribes would have to race through a series of obstacles, toss their sacks at a rod to knock off blocks and then use said coloured blocks to solve a puzzle. All three tribes were neck and neck through the first obstacles, however by the second, Yara started to pull away with Sele firmly in second while Dakal struggled to climb a ladder. What a fall from grace for ladder king, Tony! Yara made quick work of the blocks, giving them a huge lead on the puzzle while the other teams played for second. Sele were next to knock off their blocks as they closed the gap with Yara. Eventually Dakal joined the tribes in solving the puzzle, just as Sele secured the first immunity. With that Dakal battled with Yara, until Yara took their puzzle apart to start again, giving Jeremy and Sandra time to secure the other immunity for Dakal.

Back at camp Sophie felt nervous, given she blew the challenge for the tribe. She and Sarah were left alone at camp as the boys went for a walk. This left them time to lock in their vote for one of the boys. Just as the boys were all agreeing not to vote for one another. As they locked in their vote for Sarah, Rob suggested that back at camp, they refuse to go for a walk so that the girls have nobody to scramble with. Aka the buddy system, the most boring gameplay to watch. This drove the girls – and Adam – absolutely mental, stewing with rage as the boys hung out together. Wait, no, everyone sat in miserable silence, with Rob seemingly unaware how annoyed people were by his decree. Eventually Sophie and Sarah went for a walk to the well, just to alleviate their boredom and dream about blindsiding Rob, with only winks and nods from the boys as reassurance.

At tribal council Sophie spoke about the differences between her two seasons, thankful that this time there are so many intermixed relationships that there is always hope. Adam praised how good at the game the tribe are, which Ben agreed with, though kind of playing it down as they all simply know not to piss anyone off. Sarah spoke about how little the boys were interacting with her at camp today, which Sophie agreed with before insinuating that it was a decree from whoever was in charge. She then continued to play the situation perfectly, cussing out Jeff for using the term ‘crack’ as she and Sarah aren’t invaders out to destroy something, but two people looking to start an alliance with like minded individuals. Sarah jumped on board to plead with the boys and you could honestly see the moment Rob started to shit his pants, despite trying to look calm.

He tried to appeal to the boys, agreeing that while the boys aren’t close and have all done something to the other, he reminded them that at the end of the day, numbers matter. Ben agreed that it seemed like things were simple with two easy votes before sharing how lazy their afternoon was. Rob again tried to play down the fact he forced them into not talking, before Sophie owned him and pointed out how Rob is doing the exact thing he did in the season that he won and if they don’t do something about it, he will win again. With that the tribe voted and despite having zero time to strategise, Adam and Ben did indeed flip on Rob, joining the girls to send him from the game.

As Rob ventured out of tribal council I pulled him in for a massive hug before biting my tongue failed me, and I cussed him out for treating other winners like the cast of Redemption Island. Because they are all too good to tolerate that. He agreed it was a rookie mistake, but was grateful to be reunited with Amber on the Edge and bide his time until he can return and dominate. And while I didn’t have the heart to tell him that Natalie is the favourite to return as the wealthiest woman in the game, I instead handed him a bowl of Rob Mariagnocchi and wished him all the best.

While this is a super simple recipe, it proves that simple is often best. The rich butter is taken to the edge of nuttiness, while the smooth sage and sharp parmesan come together to create something so delicious it is almost life affirming.

Enjoy!

Rob Mariagnocchi
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
1 batch of the gnocchi from Gnokylie Evans or 500g pre-made gnocchi
⅓ cup butter
12-18 sage leaves
4 garlic cloves, minced
salt and pepper, to taste
1 lemon, zested and juiced
½ cup parmesan, shaved

Method
Start by prepping your gnocchi per Kylie’s recipe, or cook it per packet instructions.

When the gnocchi is close to done, melt the butter in a large skillet over medium heat and once it has melted, cook for a couple of minutes, to lightly brown and bring out the nuttiness. Once it is there, add in the sage and cook for a couple of minutes to crisp, before finally tossing through the garlic for a minute to make it nice and fragrant. Add the gnocchi with a good whack of salt and pepper, and toss to combine.

Remove from heat and add in the lemon zest and a few teaspoons of juice, and stir through the parmesan. Then serve immediately and devour.


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