Titans

Eden Portato & Burrata Pizza

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, Pizza, Street Food, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor the Middle Aged Mafia were out to get revenge on Val and Mark, after they had tried (and failed) to get rid of Kitty at the tribal council before. After a hard fought battle, Ri won immunity over the other challenge beast of the season, Aileen, making her feel super smug and confident about her place in the tribe. Despite the fact she has essentially bumbled through despite herself, thus far. Kirby, Val and Mark locked in a vote against Caroline to surprise the opposition, when they would assume Kitty is still their target. While Caroline and Kitty instead tried to woo Feras to get rid of Winna. And given Winna was rude to Feras and Aileen, they gladly joined because the theme of the season is revenge. Alex and Ri were given hinky votes, to ensure a majority, leaving them and Jaden very surprised as Winna went home.

The next day things were still rainy and miserable, unless you were Kitty and Caroline, who were thrilled to have survived and taken control with Feras. We flashed back to the night before where the trio locked in an alliance, vowing not to let anyone else get in their ears and to ride it to the end. Caroline approached Mark to confront him, cussing him out for the fact he keeps gunning for her, assuring him that she has never thrown his name out. When she has, multiple times. In the cold light of day, however, she was more hurt by Valeria’s comments at tribal, as she called her worthless and weak. As Valeria caught up with Ri, Kirby and Aileen to tell them she never said anything mean at tribal, so feels really good. 

Eden and Raymond were busy serving Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, commenting on how rude Valeria was at tribal council and how the tribe is now in chaos. As Alex comforted Caroline in the shelter, Eden decided it was time to wake Jaden up and get him to stop singing and being a delight, and instead, play the game. First step being to reunite the Titans, and play the middle until all the Rebels are gone (which is also the Rebels plan). Leaving Feras as long as possible as a shield, and instead targeting people like Raymond. So apologies Eden, but I have no choice but to cancel my stan card as nobody comes for my King. Next step for Eden’s flop plan was to pull Mark aside and float it, with Mark reiterating that Kitty and Caroline hate him, so it is kind of pointless.

The tribe met up with JLP for the reward challenge where they would compete in stages. In round one they would split into two teams, racing to use water to fill buckets to release a gate. Stage two they would form two smaller teams to use monkey fists to release nine flags to progress, while the final three would race to solve a puzzle. With the winner jagging a car and an Aussie BBQ to celebrate, though tragically being cursed into losing the game. Alex quickly got his eye in for the blue team, getting the rest to fill buckets while he filled the bigger buckets, which proved effective, meaning Mark, Kitty and Valeria, and Eden, Caroline and Alex faced off in round two. Once again Alex and Eden slayed, while Caroline struggled and madly tried to release her flags. Sadly that was all it took for Mark, Valeria and Kitty to overtake and move on to round three. Which Mark absolutely dominated, handing him a car but ruling him out as our winner, I’m afraid.

After sobbing though his victory, he was given the chance to bring someone along to enjoy the reward, locking in Kitty and then Valeria, given they were both in the final round. JLP then let him pick one more, with him opting for Caroline, which immediately spooked all the Rebels into realising something was afoot. While Valeria looked ready to kill him.

Back at camp the losers rallied around, heartbroken to be starving and carless. Ri and Alex lead the tribe in talking about how odd Mark’s choices were, given it clearly pointed out that they were hoping to make some moves at the next tribal council. Though I think Eden was potentially just jealous he wasn’t eating, as the rest of the tribe laughed about Caroline and Valeria’s tension. Speaking of which, we checked in with the world’s most awkward BBQ as Valeria and Caroline refused to even look at each other, and Mark tried to get everyone to see they needed to work together. But first, they had to clear the air. Valeria kicked things off explaining why Caroline is weak, namely her emotions. Given she didn’t apologise, Caroline wasn’t thrilled and rightly pointed out it is the harshest thing anyone has ever said to her. With Valeria eventually, finally, apologising. Before they all agreed to wipe the slate clean and have new beginnings.

As Caroline told us she still doesn’t trust Mark. Ugh.

That night as the tribe slept, Jaden couldn’t sleep, so instead got to working out and vowed to us that he is ready to avenge Winna and take control. Making the most of the fact everyone is underestimating him. As he promised Eden he is going to win the next immunity challenge, he somehow time travelled and manifested JLP for the very thing. Where they would each have to balance an idol on a pole, which they would slowly have to extend over time. Everyone made it through to their fourth length of pole before Caroline dropped. She was quickly followed by Kitty and Aileen. At fifteen minutes, they added their fifth length of pole, causing Raymond and Valeria to drop before Eden’s pole straight up crumbled. Alex and Feras were next to drop as those that had been eliminated marvelled at how strong Ri is at all the challenges. They then added a sixth segment, which saw Mark and Ri drop, followed by a long-suffering Kirby, handing my boy Jaden victory.

Back at camp the tribe all congratulated Jaden on his victory as he just laughed it up and was an all round delight. Because duh. Eden pulled Raymond, Feras, Alex and Aileen aside to lock in a split vote between Ri and Valeria. Sadly for them, it is their decoy vote, as the Titans planned to take out King Ray. Which again, is a shit idea, as I love Ray. Eden looped in Jaden and Mark, who were delighted by how fun of an idea it is, particularly since Mark wanted the Titans to reunite and slay. Eden then looped in Caroline, with her ropeable at the idea of getting rid of Ray instead of Val. With her rightly pointing out to Eden that crossing Feras means that she will be screwed out of ever working with the Rebels again. She caught up with Kitty, who was equally nervous about crossing Feras, agreeing the timing was just not right. The ladies caught up with Eden to reiterate that this decision to target Ray guarantees the Rebels will turn on them straight after the vote, with him expertly assuring them that it won’t matter, given they will have the numbers anyway. Which makes sense, but also doesn’t, given how splintered everyone is.

Kirby and Ri caught up in the shelter, completely in the dark about what is being planned for tribal council. With Ri suggesting she will ask Eden, given he isn’t a good liar. He straight up told her that the majority were planning to vote for her, with Kirby reiterating that she simply needs to play her idol to keep them safe. Eden then went to chat to Kitty again, which made Feras very nervous that something is afoot. He caught up with Ray before detouring to Caroline to see if she is across what is being planned. He told her that he had heard Ray and Aileen’s names had been thrown around, with her denying it and laying it on thick that she and Kitty were the only ones that haven’t lied to him. He then cross checked with Kitty and while they both denied it, Feras still didn’t feel right. So would be trusting his gut after the vote. And oh god, don’t make this Ray blindside actually work?!

At tribal council Mark spoke about how he simply invited Caroline on reward as they needed time to mend fences or heal wounds, rather than mend wounds. Caroline admitted it was a surprise for her, though she appreciated the chance to clear the air. Talk turned to her feud with Valeria, with them agreeing they were able to talk it out and all is good now. The Rebels all started to grow nervous, whispering amongst themselves to figure out if the Titans were now tight. Ray laughed about how he is buying they are actually kumbaya and as such, he is a little nervous. As Eden and Mark whispered, Feras hoped that tribal council would go as they had planned back at camp. Which clearly stressed out Kitty, talking about how she is struggling with all the lying.

This was all the Rebels needed to know something was afoot and as such, suggested writing Eden’s name instead. Alex then got up to talk to Feras and figure out what is planned, with everyone locking in on Eden. While Alex tried to downplay the whispers as just confirming the alliance were on the same page. With that the tribe voted, Ri played her idol for herself while Feras tragically held onto his, as the Titans held firm and loaded their votes on Ray. Thankfully the Rebels all loaded their votes on Eden, making it a cheeky little tie between the boys. With that, everyone but Eden and Raymond revoted, and thankfully, Jaden flipped, leading to Eden exiting the game as our final pre-juror (I assume) and saving my sweet King Raymond.

As Eden arrived at Loser Lodge he was rightly disappointed, though was glad to go out in such an iconic way. Which honestly is the only silver lining, right? Eden once again gave hope to the superfans, playing a solid, stealth game which tragically ended up leading to his demise, as he truly was the centre of the Titans alliance. I gave him a massive hug and assured him that we will definitely see him again and as such, we got to work planning his second run. Which was the least I could do, honestly, as not only did he not make the jury, he was brought down by the infamous Survivor Pizza Curse. Thankfully, though, he knew that made his exit even more iconic, so we toasted his run with a glorious Eden Portato & Burrata Pizza.

This rustic, earthy pizza is oh so delicious. The roasted potato is sweet and crisp, the mushrooms provide a richness while the oozing burrata to finish adds the level of luxe which makes it hard to hold a grudge.

Enjoy!

Eden Portato & Burrata Pizza
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
½ cup Toni Basil Pesto
2 potatoes, thinly sliced
2 cups small mushrooms, halved or quartered
4 garlic cloves, minced
3 sprigs thyme, leaves removed
1 tsp chilli flakes
2 tsp rosemary leaves, roughly chopped
2 tsp lemon zest
1 cup swiss cheese, grated
250g burrata cheese, at room temperature

Method
Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 180°C.

Smear the bases with the pesto, potatoes, mushrooms, garlic, thyme, chilli, rosemary and lemon zest, followed by the swiss cheese. Pop it in the oven to bake for 15 minutes, or until bubbly and golden.

Remove from the oven and serve piping hot with the cracked burrata on top. Before devouring, like a dateable icon, who sadly missed the jury.


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Pumpkinna Bhudding

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the tribes came together, joyously forming the new and improved Tasi tribe. With seven OG Titans and seven OG Rebels, both sides were looking for any advantage. After Valeria jagged the first, winning safety without power and 60K, Kitty and Caroline thought things were coming together for them. Despite the fact Valeria and Mark were pushing really hard to get rid of them. Everyone locked in on the plan to get rid of Kitty, though Scott felt bad and let it slip, leading to absolute chaos at camp. At tribal council, Kitty fought hard to protect her game – though oddly also mentioned she is rich, for reasons – before Scott stopped things in their tracks, announcing that he is struggling with his mental health and left the game as everyone felt awful for their friend.

Back at camp the mood was obviously sombre, though not for the reasons you would think. Despite Scott laying his emotions bare for the tribe before he exited, Caroline sobbed in the dark, complaining about how she simply cannot sleep near Mark due to his continued betrayals, as Kitty had to take her away from the shelter to comfort her. They complained about how much of an arsehole Mark is for plotting against them, despite the fact they literally led the charge against him and his allies pre-merge. Multiple times. And it is the game they all signed up for.

The next day Caroline, Kitty and Eden caught up to talk about how lucky they were that Scott told them they were the target, and then quit. Kitty thankfully realised that fighting hard at tribal council was a bad idea, so approached Kirby to see what she was thinking now. Kirby went back to iconic queen era Kirby, pointing out she isn’t leading any conversations and as such, doesn’t know what to believe. Though given Kitty is intense about it, Kirby felt awkies. Caroline meanwhile was trying to keep Jaden on side, vowing to go to the end together. Kitty approached Mark to see if they intended to just keep gunning for each other, with him kinda just shrugging. Which, lol. Caroline and Kitty then went person to person to make friends, as Mark caught up with Eden to laugh about how much of a target they are putting on their backs by being so paranoid. Mark left to check in with Kirby and the Rebels, with her assuring him that they intended to get rid of Kitty last night. And given they trust the same people unreservedly, they can ride it to the end together.

The tribe joined Jonathan at the beach for the latest immunity challenge where they would have to hold onto a rope dangling over the water, while balancing on small knots. With the last one standing jagging immunity. Mark was the first to drop at the seven minute mark, allowing Kirby and Jaden to feel comfortable dropping out straight after. Alex almost slipped off, but the power of the speedo saved him, leaving him to make the 10 minute transition to the smaller ball. Which Feras just missed. Valeria also couldn’t make the transition and dropped, before the rain rolled in and made life difficult. After 15 minutes, Raymond dipped out, followed by Caroline and Winna, and out of nowhere, Kitty. At 20 minutes the remaining four made it to the tiny knot, well almost, as Eden slid off and Alex gave his dick rope-burn. With that, it was a battle between Aileen and Ri until the former gave up and handed Rianna immunity.

Back at camp Rianna was feeling her oats, no doubt thrilled to have safeguarded herself from her own bad decisions. She caught up with Kirby, with them agreeing to let both the Titans factions whittle down the numbers until they are ready to take control. While Ri was worried about turning on Kitty and Caroline, given they became close after the swap. Valeria and Mark pulled Kirby aside to confirm that they would still like to get rid of Kitty, so they just need to lock in as many people as possible. Caroline and Kitty were trying to loop in Jaden to get rid of Mark instead, before Caroline approached Ri to see if she would be willing to go against Kirby’s wishes. WIth her assuring both Caroline and Kitty that she will gladly vote with them to get rid of Mark. Making this three from three of Kirby’s allies that have voted against her.

Valeria caught up with Kitty to pretend that they aren’t targeting her, as Kitty assured her she doesn’t need to pretend as she knows. Val being Val, she circled back to Kirby and Mark to point out that since Kitty knows she is going, maybe they should get rid of Caroline instead. Which obviously delighted them, because blindside. Feras and Aileen then caught up with Mark who looped them in on the new plan. Sadly for Mark, though, he looped in Jaden, who seems likely to let Caroline know. Mark then caught up with Alex and Valeria, with Alex thrilled to once again be in on the plan. While Caroline was feeling straight up screwed, and worried how she would continue without her friend in the game.

Kitty and Caroline went back to Ri to lock in the fact they only have her and Eden. Thankfully they realised that is not a majority and as such, caught up with Feras to see if he, Aileen and Raymond would be interested in joining them to get rid of Winna instead. And damn, did this just get interesting? Because that is something I would love to see. Feras and Aileen caught up with Eden and Caroline, with they excitedly talking about confusing both Ri and Alex with decoy plays so that hopefully, six votes is all it takes to take control of the new tribe. Eden went back to Alex to lock in his decoy vote for Valeria. While Kirby and Ri caught up again, with Kirby asking if they can trust Kitty and Caroline, as Ri pointed out she trusts Kitty but not with Caroline around. Which was all Kirby needed to hear to convince her that they need to get rid of Caroline then, so they can work with Kitty to eliminate Valeria and Winna next.

While Caroline worried that her plan is destined to fail if even one person votes the wrong way.

At tribal council Mark spoke about being disappointed to plan a blindside the night before and have it blow up, though assured everyone he is glad Scott chose to look after himself. Feras admitted that the extra time is all it takes to make a new move, with Eden hoping tonight will draw a line in the sand. Rather than say, last night, which everyone knew about. He spoke about the chaos back at camp being like speed dating, as everyone plotted with everyone, as they all went round in circles. Which Caroline was hoping could help get her out of a tight spot. She shared that tonight’s vote is all about trust and that she hopes actions cement things for the next phase of the game, while Jaden was sure trust will be broken and that is it. Kitty meanwhile spoke about obviously being nervous, given she was the target, with Caroline wisely pointing out that everyone should be worried. While Winna pointed out that they should all just relax and instead, await the clarity of the vote. 

Valeria admitted that she will never trust someone again once they cross her. And that she will be voting out the weakest person in the tribe tonight, given they don’t even deserve to be here. Which is classic Valeria, no? With that the tribe voted and five votes piled up on Winna, five on Caroline, one on Mark and then one on Valeria, before Winna was gagged to find himself booted from the game. As he arrived at Loser Lodge, I had a quiet chuckle to myself about how hilarious it is to see someone blindsided when they are so confident in their place. Thankfully Winna is also an absolute delight so had a laugh at his demise and then got ready to do what he does best – eat! A massive batch of Pumpkinna Bhudding.

I wanted to test our eating champs prowess with one of the richest, sweetest puddings known to man. Sure, it isn’t Halloween, so it doesn’t exactly make much sense, but it was closer to the holiday during filming. And how can you say no to spiced, velvety pumpkin goodness?!

Enjoy!

Pumpkinna Bhudding
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
350ml evaporated milk 
1 ¾ cup pumpkin puree, canned is perfect
140g instant vanilla pudding 
1 tsp ground cinnamon 
¼ tsp ground nutmeg
½ cup whipped cream
2 cups chocolate ripple biscuits, crushed 
4 tbsp butter, melted 
8 milano cookies 
black food dye, for decoratin’

Method
In the bowl of a stand mixer, combine the evaporated milk, pumpkin puree and instant pudding, and whip for a couple of minutes, or until starting to thicken. Pop it in the fridge for 5 minutes, before removing and stirring in the cinnamon, nutmeg and whipped cream. Return to the fridge for a couple of hours, until set. 

While the pudding gets nice and chill, combine the chocolate ripple biscuits and butter to form a nice, wet dirt. Set aside.

Finally, brush the milanos with food dye.

To assemble, pop some of the biscuit on the base of a glass, top with pudding, finish with more biscuit and stab with a blackened biscuit grave. Before devouring.


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Mushroom Cream Gnoccott Butler

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, Pasta, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor the tribes were given the options between enjoying a feast together or returning to their camps with a clue with the easiest to find immunity idol known to man. Knowing things were dire with no easy target, Ri, Mark and Eden opted for idols at Rebels, as Ri pipped the boys at the post and jagged it. While Alex grabbed the Titans one after Feras spotted it and left it for a few hours until Alex could figure it out. But hey, he was better than Aileen. While at the feast, Kelli was busy spilling all Kirby’s secrets to Kitty. After Rebels stormed away with immunity, the Titans all decided Kelli was too chaotic and needed to go, finally forcing Feras and Kirby to put down their weapons. Kirby though decided to keep things just that little bit messy, trying to spook the boys into playing their idols at the same time. Sadly for her, both of them held firm as Kelli was shown the door. But did it ruin relationships? Who knows.

The next day things were very chill at the Titans camp as Kirby slowly woke up and spoke about how gagged she was that Kelli was blindsided. Pointing out that it is potentially the biggest of the season. Alex, obvi, was thrilled his nemesis was gone, while Kirby and Feras were just happy to be on the same page, knowing they need each other for the next phase of the game. She was also grateful to have Valeria and Mark onside, thinking her relationship with V is the key to not just moving forward but making the end. Alex and Valeria caught up, with Alex keeping his cards close, though admitted Mark is definitely on the outs of the OG Titans, which was all she needed to hear to take over this week’s iconic Shonee revenge arc.

The skies opened up as JLP and the tribes came together by the beach where they were gagged to learn that they would be merging. Meaning the Middle Aged Mafia is about the go, no? Eden was thrilled to have made the merge, not just due to now being dateable, but also to rocket up his game. Mark was excited to see what happens, while Valeria ominously mentioned that things are about to get murky and people best keep their wits about them, lest they be blindsided.

Instead of sending everyone back to camp, JLP put them through their paces in the first individual reward challenge where they would stand on a thin bar and hold an upturned bow and balance a ball. With the victor winning $60K, a bed for the night and the title of spectator at the next tribal council where they can watch and vibe, knowing they are safe. Powerless, but safe. Caroline was the first out of the challenge before everyone moved down to narrower sections of the beam after 10 minutes. That claimed a few more scalps as Ray, Winna and Kirby all dropped in quick succession. After 20 minutes, they moved on to the narrowest section which led to Mark falling on the transition before Feras, Kitty, Jaden and Alex soon followed. Aileen was next to go, followed by Eden, who made the odd choice to squat. After 35 minutes, Ri dropped out of nowhere, finally followed by Scott, handing Valeria victory. Which tragically meant she wouldn’t be able to personally get her revenge tonight.

The merged tribe made their way back to camp, delighting in how beautiful Valeria’s bed looked. Scott meanwhile was feeling a little odd and emotional, worried about how the next phase will play out. And given he named the merged tribe Tasi, I am hoping he will thrive. He started to get to know some of the newbies, particularly vibing with Kitty. Ri and Kirby caught up by the fire, with Kirby telling her she will catch up with Scott before telling her any plans. While Caroline and Kitty were desperately whispering to Jaden that they need to keep the Titans together. Feras meanwhile was making lots of friends, which made Caroline nervous. As such, she pulled Alex, Ri and Kitty aside to try and lock in a majority, and while he sounds like he is interested, I think Alex is definitely non-committal.

Caroline then decided that she needed to catch up with Valeria and make sure she doesn’t realise that they orchestrated Viola’s downfall. She and Kitty lay it on thick, talking about how Mark doesn’t deserve to make it to the end and isn’t trustworthy, so they are glad to have her back on their side. And oh ladies, you’re screwed. Mark and Feras caught up to talk about plans, though instead of locking anything in, Mark wandered off to find Winna and Valeria to loop them in on what actually happened on the second Rebels tribe. With both of them living for his attempts at revenge, and looking forward to working together to achieve it. Eventually. Valeria then scrubbed up and made herself comfortable in her bed, offering to take people’s confession and all around living her best life. And yes, I love that for her.

The next day the tribe reconnected with JLP for the first individual immunity challenge where they would each have to hold a bar up using their legs, to keep a chute holding a ball upright. With the last one holding their ball jagging the win. Kirby was rather confident that wouldn’t be her, so opted to rest instead. She was followed out by Raymond, Kitty and Caroline, with the last two delighting the hell out of Valeria. Mark was shaking out as Kirby told Scott and Ri to just drop, given they aren’t at risk. And I feel like Scott isn’t loving this arrogance. Eden, Aileen and Rianna all dropped in quick succession, before Scott eventually followed. Feras then dropped out of nowhere, as everyone started to whisper about needing anyone but Alex to win, making me feel like we’ve missed some key scenes. After ten minutes, Mark finally put himself out of his misery by dropping, followed by Alex, as Jaden and Winna started doing crunches for fun. The duo were still battling after 20 minutes before Jaden dropped, given he didn’t like the look of the necklace and felt it would look good on Winna instead.

Back at camp everyone was feeling super nervous, unsure how things would play out at the first tribal council. The OG Titans were feeling quietly confident however, given Winna is immune and Valeria has safety without power. Ri joined them as they quickly locked in a split vote between Raymond and Feras, with Eden suggesting King Ray needs to be the one to go to weaken Feras. So bye Eden, I now hate you. They split up to lock in extra votes with Alex happy to do whatever as long as it isn’t him – swoon, just like Sandra! Mark and Ray caught up on the shore, while Eden continued to loop in OG Rebels, as Kirby and Feras watched on, laughing about how silly they were.

Ri and Valeria caught up with Kirby to tell her the plan, and while Ri thought it felt right, Kirby thankfully put her foot down. As such, Valeria threw out the possibility of blindsiding Kitty instead, given she is the most likely person from the Middle Aged Mafia to win immunity and ruin their future plans. The wind then got super intense, blowing an absolute gale and almost destroying the shelter. Scott meanwhile was struggling under the pressure, not wanting Kitty to go, given they had formed a bond. While also being super worried about Kirby growing too close to Valeria, and handing her the power instead of them. Sadly for the OG Rebels, he then told Kitty that the votes were actually coming for her, as Kirby watched on in shock. And promptly pulled him away for a walk to talk about life outside of the game.

The Titans started to panic, wondering where he heard that name and as such, decided to find out directly from him.They cornered poor Scott, along with Alex and Ri, before Scott eventually named Mark and Valeria as the source. Caroline and Kitty then angrily went to the shelter to confront them, getting rather hostile with them before Valeria eventually just decided to lay the blame with Feras. Which calmed them all down and lulled them into a false sense of security. Mark caught up with Eden and Ri, pointing out that Caroline and Kitty confronted him when he didn’t even do anything. Eden tried to broker peace, getting them to abandon the split vote and instead load their votes on Raymond. Before telling Alex to vote with them and play his idol for Kitty, because ok Eden, sure. That will happen. Caroline then yelled at Valeria for wearing Nathan’s jacket, given she had claimed it and damn, the old gals are spiralling.

At tribal council Valeria took her place on the jury bench as Winna spoke about how grateful he is to have immunity, given the camp was super chaotic all afternoon, with multiple plans and agendas. Suggesting others should have tried harder in the challenge. Raymond spoke about feeling like he knows what is happening, though is also sure he is missing out on a lot of things. Alex spoke about how the sheer size of the tribe made coming up with a plan all the more difficult. Eden mentioned that the first merge tribal council is one of the biggest, given it draws the line in the sand and sets the agenda moving forward. Caroline agreed it would help clarify where everyone stands, as Kitty mentioned that her name came out there. Talking about how people underestimate her, but she is actually smart and successful and as such, if she is still in the tribe tomorrow, she will be gunning for the person that threw her name out. Which is more incentive to get rid of her, TBH.

Kitty grew more and more fired up, as Scott spoke about how his innate empathy is really making the game really hard right now. And while making the merge is a dream come true, he has been struggling with his mental health and as such, wants to quit, to let the people wanting to stick around and fight have that shot. He opened up about how he has always been an optimist, despite his mental health, and in the game, he hasn’t exactly had a reprieve. At all. Kirby spoke about how she has noticed how Scott has started to struggle and she supports whatever he needs. Eden spoke about how proud of him he is, for doing what is right for him. Alex started to cry, Caroline told him how brave he is before he sadly stood up, grabbed his torch and headed out.

As he arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled him in for a massive hug and then promptly broke down in his arms. Scott was such a delight to have on this season, and while I support him leaving to look after himself, I am equally heartbroken to not see a fellow queer person thrive. And ideally win, because trust, he has all the skills to make it to the end. After reminding him of all those things, I reiterated that I am so proud of him before pulling him in for a final hug as we joyfully smashed a warm Mushroom Cream Gnoccott Butler.

This dish combines two of my favourite, warming things – potato and cream. And hot damn, is it good. Earthy, rich and packing a hidden punch, this quick and easy meal (assuming the gnocchi is already set) still feels decadent. Which is always iconic, no?

Enjoy!

Mushroom Cream Gnoccott Butler
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g gnocchi
3 tablespoon unsalted butter
2 cups mushrooms, thinly sliced
4 shallots, minced
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 tbsp rosemary, roughly chopped
1 tsp chilli flakes
1 cup chicken stock
1 tablespoon wholegrain mustard
1 cup thickened cream
1 cup parmesan cheese, grated
kosher salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Bring a pot of salted water to the boil, and once rollicking, cook the gnocchi per packed instructions.

Pop the butter in a large skillet over medium heat and once foamy, add the mushrooms. Cook, stirring, for 10 minutes or so, or until they are browned and all their liquid has been reabsorbed. Add the shallots and cook for a further few minutes, before stirring in the garlic, rosemary and chilli and cooking off for a minute.

Stirring all the time, slowly pour in the stock, followed by the cream and then the parmesan. Cook, stirring frequently until the sauce comes together. Season to taste and stir in the gnocchi.

Before stirring and devouring.


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Shirley Tempelli Harris

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Drink, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the Titans were way ahead in the immunity challenge before Jaden Jaden-ed, scoring goal after goal to guarantee the Rebels’ safety. The OG Titans and Kirby’s alliance quickly locked in a plan to split the votes on Feras and Aileen at tribal council, so had a relatively calm afternoon. Sadly for them, at tribal council, JLP unveiled a twist where the tribe would compete in another challenge, with the first three to finish scoring their votes and immunity. Aileen, Kirby and Feras won the challenge, meaning the duo on the outs were now in control. Winna desperately tried to lure the votes to him, so he could idol someone out with Kirby’s vote. Sadly not realising Feras and Aileen could and did split, leading to Charles going home on a revote, keeping King Ray on the screen.

Which again, is v. Shonee coded.

We checked in with the Rebels the next day where Jaden was showing off the island fashions he had woven and was being an all around delight. Even better, he knew it, loving that everyone just thinks he is a charmer and as such, aren’t taking him seriously as a threat. Which for someone that athletic, is a magical win. Back at the Titans, Raymond sacrificed Charles’ socks to the fire and while all the OG Rebels were having a good old laugh. Valeria wasn’t so happy, disappointed that one of their numbers went home. Though grateful Kirby stayed loyal to them and as such, was confident she could ride the remaining numbers to merge. And while they were kinda off Feras, they were more against Aileen as she was too much of a flipper. Aileen caught up with Valeria, Winna and Kirby who continued to berate her for voting with Feras, questioning why she didn’t do exactly what they wanted and play their game, rather than her own. Essentially. Which is just, ugh, TBH.

The Rebels tribe were far more harmonious as they played charades and were all just vibing. Eden was grateful to be in the majority of the tribe and while that was good, he also knew it was time to start thinking a few steps ahead. Mark caught up with Caroline and Kitty to reiterate that he wants to reconcile, and debated the merits of keeping Ri or Alex. With the girls incorrectly suggesting keeping Ri was a good idea, so they can align with her allies, rather than having a free agent in Alex. Caroline and Kitty caught up with Ri, who was busy pointing out that Mark is too much of a threat and would hook back up with Winna and Valeria come the merge, and as such, he needs to go ASAP. And of course Ri is going to orchestrate someone’s exit. Though I guess this time was at least deliberate, rather than her doing something dumb, so that is a win.

My love JLP made his triumphant return for the immunity challenge where the tribes would hold onto ropes over a pyramid, with the last ones standing jagging immunity. Everyone survived phase one with two footholds, so after ten minutes, they moved higher up the pyramid, using a single foothold. This still wasn’t difficult, so at the twenty minute mark, they moved to the top without a foothold. And almost instantly, everyone started to struggle. Mark was first to drop, followed by Caroline and Kirby, the first out from the Titans. Raymond was next to go, followed by Jaden, Winna, Eden, Valeria and Scott, leaving Kelli and Aileen fighting for Titans, against Alex, Kitty and Rianna for the Rebels. Sweat cost Alex his place, followed by Kelli, leaving Aileen battling alone at the 45 minute mark. After an hour and twenty minutes, JLP got bored, so made them go down to a single hand with Kitty and Rianna playing a relaxed approach, while Aileen knotted herself amongst the rope. Which was all it took, as Kitty and Rianna dropped, handing Titans immunity and Aileen the status of challenge beast of the season.

Back at camp Mark was confident the Middle Aged Mafia would hold firm at tribal council, simply needing to pick who goes out of Alex or Rianna. They all caught up by the well, locking in a split between Rianna and Alex, with Alex the ultimate target. Instead of going to loop in Jaden, Caroline and Kitty found Rianna and pledged their loyalty to each other before locking the vote in on Mark, to ensure they can spin the Viola vote however they want. They split up, with Rianna going to share the plan for Jaden and Alex, which honestly seems sloppy, as she is terrible, but she managed not to stuff it up.Yet.

Mark meanwhile was feeling good, grateful that the Middle Aged Mafia were back together and ready to get rid of one of the Rebels. Mark conveniently was involved in most conversations, so the Titans started to get confused about what their real and fake plans were, with things getting a little bit awkward as they caught up in the shelter and Mark started to point out how they kept changing things up. Caroline and Eden caught up, with him confused why they were turning on Mark, so Caroline flip-flopped back to getting them to vote out Alex. While poor sweet Jaden just chuckled along, confused about what in the hell was going on. Though he did rock suspiciously clean hair and clothes in the confessional.

At tribal council Kitty spoke about how they have successfully healed relationships, while Eden spoke about how they have always been playing, despite a nice break from attending tribal council. Mark admitted he was grateful for the time away, and hopeful it let things breathe so they could come up with a solid alliance heading into the merge. Caroline spoke about finding the right time to solidify alliances and making moves, while Alex admitted he is nervous each and every tribal council. While Jaden started whispering with Mark and Kitty, still not sure who he was voting for. This made Mark nervous, as the OG Rebels grew paranoid about what in the hell was going on, before Caroline started whispering to Rianna to let her know that Alex was the target.

Well, that is until JLP announced that the tribal council would play out a little differently tonight. Instead, all names that land in the urn would be at risk of switching over to the Titans. One by one everyone will vote and every name in the urn would then have to draw rocks and the one to draw blue joining the Titans. Everyone split up to start whispering again, with the OG Titans deciding they should load all their votes on Alex given he has less alliances over there. Eden spoke up, pointing out that making the wrong choice could really set someone up for success by solidifying a power alliance. Caroline urged them to stick to the plan, while Kitty admitted that she has no interest in bouncing back to the other side, given life is sweet over here, while Rianna knew she was sweet either way. Alex spoke about being open to flip, given they are a clearly tight five and he is likely to be booted if they go back to tribal. While Mark just worried where Alex’s single vote could land, as Caroline panicked to Eden that Mark is the only person they can’t have going to the Titans.

With that the tribe voted, split between Alex and Rianna, with Alex heading out to join the Titans. Being reunited with his bestie Kelli, which is just so sweet, isn’t it! Presumably there was no screaming like Kelli as he arrived, so we checked in with the Titans the next day as everyone talked about being surprised to see him. Kelli joked that she thought it was a nightmare with their banter quickly turning into an argument and oh god, how I have missed their sexual tension. They then moved on to Kelli lecturing about people finding conflict with trying to rationalise death, as Alex tried to zen through it. Kelli shared it was her son’s 18th birthday, rallying the tribe to celebrate him as she spoke through tears about how much she loves him. And her dog, who is also turning one that day. The tribe then placed flowers in the water for them, which was sweet, as Feras tried not to laugh. Which wasn’t as sweet.

Feras and Raymond pulled Alex aside to give him a tour of the camp, and quickly locked him in as a number for their side. While they were away, Kirby looped in her allies, knowing Alex was a lost cause, so instead threw out idea of getting rid of Raymond. Which thankfully pissed off Kelli, who was not willing to eliminate someone that supported her from day one. Kirby and Valeria tried to talk her through their plans, asking her to think beyond a single tribal council to see the bigger picture. Which made her angrier, given she doesn’t have a relationship with Winna and Val, and it is her son’s birthday. She asked to speak privately with Kirby, cussing her out for getting too close to the Titans and not wanting to budge on saving Raymond. Going so far as to point out the other alliance is growing stronger, implying a flip is afoot.

The tribes reunited with JLP for the latest reward challenge where they wouldn’t compete at all, and instead, all be able to sit down for some food and dranks. Or get a scroll with specific directions to the location of an idol at each camp. Obviously Aileen, Feras and Alex all went for scrolls at Titans, while Rianna, Mark and Eden opted in at Rebels, immediately bouncing from the site. The, I want to say victors, sat down at the table to start smashing their feast, grateful to have some sustenance. Everyone was hugging and introducing themselves, high on snacks and vibing. Well, except for Valeria, who immediately got to work questioning Caroline and Kitty about what happened to Viola. And while Caroline pretended she just played too hard, Kitty was a little more honest and as such, Valeria knew it was bullshit. And vowed to get them out ASAP.

We checked in with the Rebels where they all split up to hunt for the idol, which Rianna quickly snatched as the boys scaled the tree. Which is obviously the worst case scenario for poor Mark, who I am rooting for over Ri, given her decisions are always bad. And smug Kirby isn’t very fun, TBH. Speaking of the current queen of the Titans, she was thrilled to be making new friends and feasting, given she is in control and doesn’t need the idol. Her words. As she watched over everything going on, she spotted Kelli whispering to Kitty about the current state of play on the Titans tribe. Straight up telling Kitty to go for Kirby if she goes home, given she is the one calling the shots. Switching over to those not calling the shots, Feras, Alex and Aileen started hunting for the idol with the former immediately spotting it. Leaving it for the other two to grab, given it is a very public idol and he didn’t want to be a target because of it. Sadly for him, Alex and Aileen just couldn’t see it, until he spoon fed them the idol and let Alex claim it.

Everyone came together for the next immunity challenge where, in the ocean, they would race to collect three balls and land them in baskets, while the other tribe ran interference. Round one saw Mark and Rianna face off against Kirby and Feras, with the duos tying things up at two before doing fierce battle until the Rebels finally scored. And then Ri quickly told Kirby she has the idol. Next was a one on one between Kitty and Aileen, if you could call it that, as Kitty dominated and jagged another point for the Rebels. Winna and Raymond then faced off against Jaden and Mark, which was essentially just Mark shooting hoops and scoring immunity for the Rebels, as Jaden took his sons for a swim.

Back at camp, Kirby was ready to take a shot on Kelli, given her chaos has finally started to impact her game as well as the rest of the tribes. First stop was talking to Scott and Feras, with the latter pointing out Alex got the idol. And to reward the honesty, Scott threw out that they desperately want Kelli out as she is a mess. Particularly since they are going to face off against serious gamers at the merge, making Kirby finally realise that they need to work together. Everyone locked in the plan to get rid of Kelli while Raymond played babysitter. After he let her run free, she started to worry that there is potential for a blindside, so got to work hunting for an idol. She then looped him in, essentially telling him he owes her and requested he hunts for an idol for her. Thankfully, once she left,  he opted to just sit down in the jungle and relax a little.

With everyone finally feeling cohesive, Kirby decided it was time to Kirby, and create chaos with a little flip. She pulled the OG Titans aside to tell them they need to make Alex and Feras nervous enough to play their idols, while still loading all their votes on Kelli to send her home. Just to help lessen their threat moving forward. Winna and Scott were then sent to start confusing Feras, making him feel like the simple vote is just a cover. So he split off to spy on them to try and get to the bottom of it. Though given how confident everyone is about the idols being flushed, I am hopeful it bombs. Like, it isn’t the mastermind move they are making out, ok? Aileen caught up with Feras to encourage him to hold on to his idol, though his nerves only appeared to get worse and worse. He went to go find Raymond to help calm himself, as Feras spoke about being sure something was afoot. As King Ray assured him he has heard nothing. While sitting alone in the jungle. Feras then went to Alex, not wanting to play his idol, as Alex tried to rationalise that it is worth the risk to hold onto it. 

At tribal council Kirby spoke about taking up the chance for food because she was starving, and a public idol makes for a public target. Feras spoke about how an extra day is always more powerful, despite missing the chance to make new friends. Alex spoke about how chaotic things were back at camp, and how he intended to play the idol to be here in the morning. Feras shared he felt there were too many unnecessary chats happening around camp and as he wasn’t sure what they were about, he was nervous. Kirby continued to sow chaos, making both the boys nervous and ugh, she is going to pull this off, isn’t she? Kelli meanwhile started to talk about how she ended her alliance as she was sick of following along with things and didn’t want to lose a friend. This fired up Valeria, who called her out for throwing them under the bus at the feast, pointing out that that is why she is now the target. As Valeria scoffed at the prospect of Kelli being strategic, given she is chaos.

Kirby pointed out that Kelli’s behaviour at the lunch is what put her on the outs, while Kelli countered she had already removed herself from the alliance, so it doesn’t matter. As Valeria and Kirby grew more and more sassy. While Alex was just glad to see somebody else coming for Kelli. With that the tribe voted, both boys held on to their idols – pissing off Kirby enough to get her nice and shady with Kelli, telling her Alex would never play an idol for her, when she asked – and Kelli was unanimously sent home. Well, eventually, after forgetting her torch, announcing she is a psychologist and then missing the exit. No joke.

As she arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled Kelli in for a massive hug, thanking her for single-handedly bringing the drama and chaos to the pre-merge. And for defying expectations to give us four weeks of her majesty. Kelli being Kelli, she pointed out my speedo tan – which TBH, is my fault, I was wearing it at night in a kitchen – before we had a good laugh about all the excitement she brought to the game. As it slowly became clear, Kelli was doing what Phillip Sheppard should have, playing annoying and silly to make it to the end, before outing herself as a mastermind. And while that still may not have worked, I counter the Tobias vote proved she knew what she was doing. Which was a word for word quote from my toast, over a Shirley Tempelli Harris.

What a Shirley Temple lacks in liquor, Kelli and I make up for with unlimited energy which is prone to annoying people. This sweet little number is a fresh little burst that can get you through the darkest of days, like knowing Kelli just missed the merge. Which would have been even more iconic for our icon.

Enjoy!

Shirley Tempelli Harris
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
ice
150ml ginger ale, plus extra to top
30ml lime juice
15ml grenadine
1 maraschino cherry, to garnish

Method
Fill a glass with ice, and top with the ginger ale and lime juice. Slowly add the grenadine and garnish with the maraschino cherry before topping with extra ginger ale.

Down and repeat, depending on thirst.


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Charles French Noonion Pasta

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, Pasta, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor Mark and Caroline tried to repair their relationship, eyt again, after multiple attempts at booting each other. Though Caroline assured us it was only because she has other plans for him. After the new Titans lost a very physical immunity challenge, Feras and Kirby feigned burying the hatchet for 20 minutes before each faction attempted to use the Titans to take control. Tribal Council spooked both Garrick and Aileen, who begged Feras to play his idol for Garrick, in case the OG Titans played them and joined with Kirby. Which is exactly what they did, as Garrick was booted from the game. While Aileen assured Kirby she never voted for her, which is kind of a moot point, no?

Back at camp Feras congratulated everyone on a well executed blindside, which surprised Kirby, as she thought it was clear they were targeting Garrick. Feras tried to run the numbers back at camp with Aileen pointing out she voted Kelli as a Plan C, while everyone agreed they think Feras has an idol. Which he then straight up admitted to it, meaning Kelli, obviously, didn’t buy it, as Aileen told Kelli she was sure that she had one too. Feras then went to catch up with the OG Titans and while he assured them there were no hard feelings, he promised us that revenge will be his and he won’t stop until he has their heads on a spike. So insert this week’s iconic Shonee revenge arc, should he be interested in being more iconic, say, like Raymond.

I mean, Raymond is just so Shonee coded, you know?

Over at the Rebels, Alex was bathing in his speedos while Caroline, Kitty and Rianna watched on, deciding whether they could be bothered washing off. Rianna meanwhile was nervous about how things would play out on the tribe, given she and Alex are on the outs. And Alex, apparently, has no idea what he is doing. When Rianna has literally fumbled the ball on multiple occasions in just three weeks. Rianna stuck with the girls, despite the fact they gave her a fake name and planned to blindside her at the last tribal council. She had a private moment with Caroline, assuring her that if they stay close, she has numbers on the other side and can get her further. Which is a reason not to keep her, but whatever, Alex is the worse player. After Caroline asked what she would do about the situation with Mark, she suggested getting rid of him ASAP. Though Caroline wisely, seemed non-committal.

We checked in with the Titans where Kirby was feeling her oats and oh so smug, now that she was in control. Case in point being that Aileen asked to chat about tribal council and she told her no, instead going for a swim with Scott. She then went further, smirking as she watched Feras and laughed about him being alone. Aileen’s bad day got worse as she checked in with Kelli, who told her she was angry that she voted for her, again, as Aileen laughed to us about how she is the only person that appears bothered by it. As Aileen finally got time to chat with Kirby, Feras immediately popped up and joined them. Aileen told Kirby that not voting for her last night was a show of faith, though obviously Kirby wasn’t really buying it, as Feras suggested she would be better off just going to find another idol. As he once again reminded Kirby that he genuinely has an idol.

The tribes met up with Jonathan for the immunity challenge where they would have to climb over a cargo net to collect balls, transfer them along an obstacle course using poles and have one person scale a tower to shoot said balls into a hoop held up by the rest of the tribe. Feras and Raymond got the Titans out to an early lead as Caroline and Alex took a slower approach at the Rebels. Though they started to close the gap, thanks to Scott dropping a ball. Against all odds, Charles thankfully powered despite being paired with Kelli, allowing them to stay out in front. Aileen meanwhile was busy talking to Valeria on the bench, assuring her that while they didn’t vote together, she hopes they can work together in the future. As Valeria just offered that she doesn’t trust Feras. The Titans had all the balls at the end and started shooting before the Rebels even collected one. Thankfully for the Rebels, the Titans struggled to get a hang of the challenge, allowing the Rebels plenty of time to learn from their mistakes. And then demolish shooting their baskets one after the other, jagging an epic come from behind win. Almost out of nowhere.

Back at camp they tried to hold their heads high, despite Jaden demolishing them on his lonesome. Feras meanwhile was nervous, given the alliance appeared to be airtight. Charles and Valeria went for a wander with Kirby to float the idea of splitting the vote between Feras and Aileen, given Aileen annoyed Valeria during the challenge. As they locked in pretending Raymond was the other person, rather than Aileen, she popped up to ask to pitch her case. Charles asked her to give them a minute before talking things through, which obviously annoyed her. Eventually Valeria and Charles caught up with Aileen to see if Feras genuinely has an idol, with her assuring them that he does despite not having seen it. Charles then floated that once Feras is gone, they may be able to work with her, which is the information I would take back to Kirby.

Charles and Winna meanwhile were hanging out in the water tossing beans around, as Kelli joined and they discussed how to spell Aileen’s name. Winna joked to us that all he cares about is flushing out Feras’ idol, very grateful that his has remained secret from everyone on the new tribe. He caught up with Feras and Aileen by the shelter, with Feras pointing out that aligning with Kibry is the best option moving forward, given she has numbers on the other side, which she will gladly go back to come the merge. Winna then straight up told Feras that that is just a pitch, and he isn’t buying it. Leaving Feras to be sure that he can only really trust Raymond at this point. Right on cue, Raymond was catching up with Scott and Kelli, who were imploring him to flip and vote with the majority, as they love him so much, they want to go to merge with them. As they begged him to vote Aileen or Feras

Raymond and Feras caught up, with Ray encouraging him to make sure he plays the idol tonight. And go make sure that Aileen doesn’t have one. Feras admitting that he would love to vote for Winna more than anyone, given he is immovable and as such, he doesn’t even know if he can really bother playing his idol. Feras then caught up with Kirby for a hail Mary, pointing out that if he goes, followed by Aileen and Raymond, the numbers don’t add up at merge and as such, she needs to go back to getting rid of Titans. And given they are obviously feuding, it is the perfect time to work together. Particularly since he is safe no matter what. Which Kirby took back to her alliance as quickly as possible, assuring them she won’t flip.

At tribal council Feras spoke about the fact he lived for the blindside, despite being on the wrong side of it. Kirby said she was thrilled it went in her favour, and that she will be smiling again tonight, whether things play out for or against her. Aileen once again tried to pitch the OG Rebels come together, with Charles pointing out that she is too shifty and the reason she isn’t going to make it further, is because she and Feras are untrustworthy. Valeria then scalped Feras, calling him a terrible leader and that he was weak for not playing his idol for Garrick. Feras calmly let her talk it through, before going all in on her and ugh, it was spicy and I think they are going to bang. I mean, the thank you master when he was done? It was glorious. Charles then tried to ask Feras if he would play the idol for Aileen if she is in danger, with him agreeing he would. As Feras and Aileen locked in a plan to try and get rid of Charles. Kirby meanwhile spoke about not wanting to move backwards by going Rebel strong, given she has a nice clean slate with the Titans.

Once again Scott begged JLP to allow them to vote, which left him to announce that tonight, things will be a little bit different. You see, someone will be going home, however, not everyone will be voting, as they need to earn it. And that there is a little challenge set up next to tribal council, with the three winners becoming immune and being the only people to vote. So yeah, bye bye Charles, could actually happen.

We pivoted to the challenge where they would race to build a frame out of blocks before tossing sandbags through said frame and landing them on a barrel. The first three to finish without knocking it over keeping their votes and being immune. Kirby assured her allies that she has a plan, and they just need to win. Which, obviously, you are in the majority, Kirby? Meaning they are clearly not winning. Charles, Winna and Raymond were first to build their frames, with Ray promptly knocking it over on the first toss. Eventually they all caught up, with Aileen, out of nowhere, scoring her three points and keeping her vote. She cheered on Feras and Raymond, as Feras scored two alongside Kirby. Kirby then secured her vote as Charles, Winna and Feras raced to secure the third spot with Feras, finally, putting us out of our misery and securing immunity

On the way back to tribal council, everyone was feeling far less smug, as they worried about who Aileen and Feras would be pushing to boot. As Kirby whispered to Aileen that now is the time to clean the slate. You mean, when your back is against the wall, Kirby?! As they returned to tribal council, the tension really rocketed up, with Feras and Aileen looking forward to having a bit of fun. Kirby meanwhile floated that she will happily vote for whoever they wanted, given her vote really doesn’t matter. But if they work together, maybe it will build trust. Which obviously spooked the Titans. Feras reiterated he is planning to have fun, with Winna whispering to Valeria that they simply need to get the votes on him and he will play his idol. He then went in on Feras, trying to attract the votes, which everyone found super odd. 

Feras asked for last ditch pleas, with Charles pointing out they are all logical and as such, a vote for any of them makes sense. Feras asked if anyone is actually planning to work with him, with Charles and Valeria agreeing they’d consider it, while Winna gave him a big fat no. Winna then asked Kirby who he should play his idol for, with her rightly pointing out Charles. As Ray was just hopeful the rift between Kirby and Feras would heal after tonight. Well, after Kelli told him to be positive, that is. With that the trio voted, Winna played his idol for himself, negating one vote for him, leaving Feras to hold onto his for another day as Charles and Raymond were tied. With that, the trio re-voted and Charles was shown the door, officially.

As he arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled Charles in for a hug and assured him that sometimes, particularly Down Under, you get swap screwed. And that is why you should never go too far with rubbing the minority’s noses in it, given you just never know when that will come back to bite you. Like it did just now. And while it was a bitter pill for him to swallow, a bowl of Charles French Noonion Pasta made him feel better.

This viral little TikTok number may not necessarily sound delicious, but hot damn, it is. Sweet, rich and vetvety smooth, it is the most warming dish for your coldest days. Or when you get burnt, for trying to be cold to the minority, maybe.

Enjoy!

Charles French Noonion Pasta
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
¼ cup butter
2 large onions, thinly sliced
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
¼ cup sherry
½ cup vermouth
10 sprigs thyme, leaves removed
500g rigatoni
6 cups beef stock
2 tsp worcestershire sauce
½ cup parmesan cheese, grated
½ cup cream

Method
Pop the butter in a dutch oven over medium heat and once melted and foamy, add the onions and a pinch of salt, and cook, stirring occasionally, for 30 minutes or until caramelised. 

Once sweet and sticky, add the sherry and vermouth, deglazing all the stuck brown bits from the bottom of the pan. Stir in the thyme leaves and season with salt and pepper, before adding the rigatoni, stock and worcestershire. Stir, bring to the boil, reduce to a simmer and cook for 15 minutes, or until the pasta is tender. Covering if you lose too much liquid.

Remove from the heat and stir in the parmesan and cream until combined, returning to the heat for a minute or so to heat through. Serve immediately with a generous helping of extra parmesan and devour. Like a shady icon.


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Baked Garreek Meatballdman Pitas

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Mark was ready to do revenge against the Middle Aged Mafia for blindsiding Viola. Despite the fact they all felt it would force Mark into being closer with them. After the new Rebels lost yet another immunity, he convinced them that everything was all good and that he was all in on their plan to get rid of OG Rebels. He calmly suggested that they once again split the votes between Rianna and Sarah, given Alex has zero connections. He then went to said OGs and told them to join him in loading up the votes on Caroline to take control of the tribe officially, rather than just being on the bottom of the alliance. Tragically a series of blunders from Sarah and then Rianna screwed the plan, leading to a chaotic tribal where Mark wasted his idol, Ri flipped her vote to Mark and Sarah was shown the door.

The next day the mood was, once again, a little sombre as Mark tried to clear the air with Caroline about the vote. She agreed things were super messy, as he explained that the dynamics of the four are the reason why he had tried to lead the charge against them. He apologised for his actions, with her assuring him that she is happy to move past it and continue to work together. Though she warned him that the only way they can move forward is if he is able to prove trust. Which at this point is just a bit of a lol, you know?

Over at the Titans things were far more jovial as Ray was busy trying to take his undies off without removing his track pants. Accidentally flashing Valeria in the process. He then went for a swim with Feras, yelling to each other about strategising and playing idols as the tribe watched on giggling. Well, the tribe minus Kelli, who was being suspiciously quiet and calm. Which immediately made Feras worry that she found an idol. Feras and Raymond caught up with Kirby, who decided to play into things by admitting that Kelli did have an idol, hoping the spectre of it keeps them safe. Kirby looped in Kelli, who found it super funny that they thought she had an idol and she agreed it would be fun to use it to her advantage. Leveraging her psychology, of course. As such, Raymond, Feras and Garrick decided they needed to lock in the vote against Kirby with the help of the OG Titans.

The tribes reunited with Jonathan for the reward challenge where they would race into the water to collect coconuts with letters on them and spell words in a little spelling bee. Best out of 3 scoring an epic Mexican feast. Caroline and Alex faced off against Kelli and Garrick in round one to spell salsa, with the Titans taking out victory despite Kelli struggling to spell the word. Even though she hilariously assured the tribe that she can spell before the round. No joke. Mark and Rianna made things physical with Feras and Winna as they powered ahead to spell chilli, buying them enough time to tie things up for the Rebels. Winna fought hard against Kitty and Alex, as Valeria calmly worked on writing out tortilla, scoring victory for their tribe.

Back at camp the new Titans were positively delighted to discover their Mexican feast awaiting them. Everyone sat down and started smashing all the food, with Winna, Charles and Valeria in particular thrilled to finally have something to eat for the first time in three weeks. After pressing pause on the game for a little, both Feras and Kirby got to work trying to woo the OG Titans. Charles, Winna and Valeria caught up in the water debating the merits, with Charles wisely pointing out that aligning with Kirby, Scott and Kelli makes the most sense, as at least they have an even playing field, rather than going with a four. That night, Charles pulled Kirby and Scott aside to talk through their plans, with them agreeing Feras is so concerned about Kelli having an idol, he isn’t thinking about much else. Wanting to play both sides, Charles and Winna then joined up with Feras and Raymond to hear their plans, with Feras reminding them that whichever way they decide to go, they need to make sure they aren’t picked off afterwards.

Which feels a little ominous, no?

JLP made his triumphant return for the immunity challenge where the tribes would each hold up heavy barrels with the first tribe to drop a single barrel losing and joining Jonathan at tribal council. Things started out pretty zen, with only some minor adjustments to everyone’s hands before Caroline tapped out and handed her barrel to Jaden. After ten minutes, Jaden passed his second barrel over to Alex for a little bit of a break. That took its toll on Alex, trading back after ten minutes before the Titans lost their first person in Valeria. Winna was like a statue as he held onto two barrels before Aileen started to get dangerously close to dropping, forcing her to pass it off to Kirby. She needed a break, so handed her second to Garrick who immediately passed it to Feras. Winna started to get tired, passing one off to Charles and while it looked bad, both tribes were still fighting after 50 minutes. Garrick then dropped out, requiring some shuffling on Titans to save Kirby from dropping, before the tribe admitted defeat and dropped in unison, sending themselves to tribal council.

Back at camp the tribe reconvened around the fire lamenting their loss before splitting up to come up with their plans. After splitting up, Valeria was confident she, Winna and Charles will be able to pick who goes home. Sadly Aileen realised that the Rebels need to stay together for at least one vote, rallying them together and asking Feras and Kirby to put down their guns to assure themselves that OG Rebels have the advantage when they merge. By getting rid of Charles, ideally. And after a little bit of back and forth, they agreed to stick together. Garrick reluctantly, who felt it was the right time to make a break as they already have the numbers. As he simmered in his jocks, he approached Winna to see what the OG Titans were thinking, with him obviously assuring him that they are locked on Kirby. This emboldened him to go back to Feras and Aileen to make one final, hard push for Kirby. With them eventually agreeing. Again, somewhat reluctantly.

Meanwhile Raymond and Kelli were busy talking through the drama, with him telling her there will no doubt be a lot of last minute whispers as rival plans pop up. He then asked her not to play her idol for Kirby, given he wants her to be safe. This made Kelli nervous, so she approached Kirby who then looped in Scott, and just like that, they got to work locking in a rival plan to not take out Feras, but his second in command Garrick. The OG Titans disappeared to talk through their options, with them all agreeing that Kirby is more trustworthy and that is nothing else, they have the power tonight. And once each faction is down to three, they can reassess. They caught up with Kirby who looped them in on the Garrick plan, as they whispered it throughout camp. All the chatter made Feras nervous, who pulled Winna aside to talk about the possibility of Valeria flipping on them. With Winna assuring him that Valeria won’t flip on them, begging the question, which them is he talking about? They then turned their nerves to Kelli and her (non) idol, and how to navigate it. With Kirby assuring us that she will be trying to make everyone paranoid about what exactly Kelli could do. Which will be super easier for Kirby, given the Kelli of it all.

At tribal council Aileen spoke about how the OG Rebels clearly have an advantage, though if the OG Titans stick together, they have so much power. Winna agreed that when there are cracks, they can kind of make the choice, while Charles straight up pointed out that tonight is just about picking a side between the divided Rebels. Kirby pointed out that a true alliance doesn’t need to overdo it and simply have a discussion, and stick to it. Feras spoke about finding the balance between being paranoid and trusting in people. Kirby then called him paranoid, though admitted it is right to be, given he and Aileen pushed to be Rebel strong and then immediately switched. Kirby pointed out they had been duplicitous, leading to Garrick and Feras arguing that she was actually the one that turned on them first and that is why they don’t trust her. Despite her now playing the victim.

Garrick spoke about how disappointed he was in Kirby betraying them and how upset he still is. This led to Kirby denying she did anything wrong, with chaos erupting as Kirby, Feras and Garrick got extremely heated. Kirby tried to take credit for the Peta vote – again, no jury yet, so not relevant – despite not voting for her, which was the sticking point for the boys. Feras put a pin in the fighting as he admitted the divide is so large that there is absolutely no point denying it. Garrick meanwhile was super nervous, feeling like the tribe turned against him, as Feras confirmed with Valeria that the OG Titans were voting with them. And Scott just begged JLP to let them vote so they can finally draw some lines in the damn sand and move on tomorrow.

With that the tribe voted as Aileen begged Feras to play his idol for Garrick, before he held firm and she was proven correct, as the OG Titans joined Kirby’s alliance to blindside Garrick from the game. And let’s just say, he was well and truly pissed. As he arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled him in for a massive hug and assured him all would be ok. Because with such on point reads and a great display (despite going out early), if there is justice, he will make a triumphant return. And between that epic peptalk and piping hot Baked Garreek Meatballdman Pitas, he was feeling better in no time.

This meal looks like hard work, but is truly so simple. Prep everything, chuck it on a tray and  you’re good to go. And better yet, it is jam packed with flavour and oh so good. Spicy, creamy and warming.

Enjoy!

Baked Garreek Meatballdman Pitas
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
500g lamb mince
1 onion, grated
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 lemon, zested and juiced
½ cup parsley, roughly chopped
2 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp dried oregano
½ tsp cayenne pepper
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
4 potatoes, cut into 1cm matchsticks
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
200g Jaida Essence Halloumi, diced
1 capsicum, diced
1 large avocado, halved and seeded
¼ cup greek yoghurt 
½ cup basil
1 jalapeño, trimmed and if you don’t want the heat, seeded
1 tsp smoked paprika
½ tsp garlic powder
½ tsp onion powder
4 Pita Andre Breads, to serve

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C and line two baking sheets. 

Combine the mince, onion, garlic, lemon zest, parsley, cumin, oregano and half the cayenne pepper in a large bowl, with a good whack of salt and pepper, and scrunch with your hands to combine. Wet your hands and roll into golf ball sized meatballs, popping on the lined baking sheet. Cover and leave to rest.

Toss the sliced potatoes in olive oil and salt and spread over the second baking sheet. Pop in the oven and cook for 15 minutes, before flipping and cooking for a further 20 minutes. Add the haloumi and capsicum to the meatball tray and pop in the oven when you take the chips out to flip.

While they are cooking, pop the avocado, yoghurt, basil, jalapeno and lemon juice in a blender, and blitz until smooth. Season to taste. 

Combine the paprika, garlic and onion powders and cayenne pepper in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Remove the meatballs, haloumi and chips from the oven, and toss the chips through the spices.

To serve, dollop some avocado onto plates. Followed by the meatballs, fries, halloumi and capsicum, with pitas. And devour however you see fit.


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Viola Soup Jokudumplings

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor after burning his first idol because everyone knew about it, Feras found a second one hidden amongst the trees. Despite not handing the key off to any of the Titans, Mark grew tired of waiting and instead ripped the lid off the treasure chest and grabbed one for himself. As the saboteur, Kelli opted out of the immunity challenge she was meant to sabotage. Though given that also meant she wasn’t running interference at the Rebels, they still managed to win. The Titans planned to get rid of the easy vote in Nathan, until the Vs and Mark floated the idea of getting rid of Caroline instead, given she stares more intensely than Pat Mullins. At tribal council Kelli was sent out for succeeding in the mission she didn’t succeed in before Mark and the Vs decided to keep things calm and booted Nathan.

We checked in with the Rebels the next day where Kelli was presumably thrilled to be back amongst her fam, comfortably sleeping away the morning as the tribe desperately awaited gossip. Eventually they woke her up, with her sharing that she orchestrated Nathan’s departure, gladly wearing his hoodie as a memento. She tried to do damage control for not throwing the immunity challenge, saying she pivoted to get rid of a strong player. As everyone explained that wasn’t the task, she continued to be oblivious to their rage. Except for Alex, obviously, who was so clear in his disdain, that she cussed him out for being rude to her. Sadly though, her read on who went home is correct so while everyone is mocking her behind her back, they will probably decide she is wiser than she has played thus far when the tribes come together. Kelli caught up with Kirby, Ray, Aileen and Rianna to run through the current state of affairs, with Kirby not doing much of a social game, straight up pointing out that Aileen and Ray are not with them. To their face. As Kirby told Kelli she knows she can trust her, Ri, Scott and nobody else.

And let’s just say, what a fall from grace for Kirby’s game.

Over at the Titans, Eden was thrilled to have gotten rid of the last easy vote and ready for the game to get spicy as he, Kitty and Caroline do battle with Mark and the Vs for control of the tribe. Kitty and Eden caught up to run through the best options moving forward, with Eden not really keen on taking out Mark, instead wanting to make a move on someone else. Mark and the Vs meanwhile were planning to loop in Winna and Jaden, and make a move against Caroline, given she is upsetting everyone and it should be an easy way to take control. Middle Aged Mafia be damned.

Given both tribes were ready to fracture in two, they came together with JLP who told them to drop their buffs. Because yes, it is time to make things even messier with a cheeky little tribe swap. New Rebels was made up of Eden, Alex, Sarah, Rianna, Kitty, Caroline, Mark, Viola and Jaden. Ray meanwhile drew no buff, meaning he got to pick which tribe he went to, wisely opting to kick off Titans 2.0, on account of their tarp, where he was joined by Kirby, Charles, Kelli, Garrick, Aileen, Winna, Valeria, Feras and Scott.

We ventured back to the new Titans tribe where Valeria welcomed everyone to their far more lush surroundings. Despite feeling well and truly screwed by the swap, being outnumbered 7 to 3, she immediately went into fight mode. She offered to cook rice and sent Charles and Winna to get firewood, allowing their friends to relax and get to know the new beach, knowing they can’t kill the cook. Any time soon, that is. Scott and Kirby meanwhile were thrilled to luck out on the new tribe, agreeing that it makes sense to stick Titans strong for now. Feras joined them, with Scott asking them to put their issues aside until they get the numbers advantage at merge. And thankfully, they were both sensible enough to agree it is for the best.

Over at the new Rebels camp Alex was feeling uneasy as like Valeria, he, Sarah and Rianna were clearly outnumbered. By a very tight six, with zero cracks. As far as he knew. As the women washed off in the ocean, Alex caught up with Eden and Mark to see if he could get any information. Or at worst, convince them to vote out one of the girls over him. Mark meanwhile was sad to be without Valeria, though happy to have options with V and the Middle Aged Mafia. And glad they didn’t get rid of Caroline at the last tribal council. Sarah meanwhile was bonding with Viola, who admitted to us that she isn’t exactly feeling comfortable with her fellow OG Titans and as such, wanted to use the OG Rebels to make a move against Kitty and Caroline before they make one against her and Mark.

JLP made his triumphant return to preside over the first immunity challenge as new tribes, where they would each hold two ropes tethered to a gutter and manoeuvre a ball from one end on a line-up to the other to land it into a basket first. After Kelli sat out, both tribes tried to practise and get their eye in. The Rebels appeared to figure it out just that little bit quicker as the ball went from Mark to Sarah and Alex. The Titans then overtook as they found their momentum, while Caroline started to get sassy over at the new Rebels as she struggled. The Titans went person to person without dropping until Garrick started to struggle. The Rebels started to close the gap before Ray once again bossed the challenge, who passed it off to Winna and back to Kirby, who scored the point and jagged immunity for her new tribe.

Back at camp Rianna was feeling like she could use a little vom, knowing that she is well and truly on the outs. Kitty caught up with Rianna and Sarah, lamenting that she would prefer someone to be shit to make things easier. After assuring her it was all good, Rianna and Sarah caught up with Viola, Mark and Caroline to give them the lay of the land on the original Rebels to try and sell themselves as an asset moving forward. They caught up with Alex and suggested hunting for idols, despite the fact they all knew splitting wouldn’t even help them. The OG Titans meanwhile were hanging out, hoping to stay a solid six, talking about the fact Rianna has the most relationships and as such, is the biggest threat. While Sarah and Alex are malleable. 

Eden, Mark and Caroline locked in a split vote between Sarah and Rianna, agreeing to loop in Alex before Mark caught up with Viola. Who felt like the safe move wasn’t the best idea and instead, thought it would be a good idea to blindside Caroline with the help of the OG Rebels. Caroline being Caroline, she was busy hanging out in the bushes, staring, and decided (correctly) that Viola was coming for her. She went and filled in Kitty, with the duo suggesting they could blindside Viola instead. Just as Mark had calmed her on making the move against Caroline too soon.

Kitty wandered off to loop in Sarah and Rianna while Caroline ran the plan via Eden, who tried to get them to calm their farm for another tribal or two. While she countered that they can’t risk Mark and V pulling the trigger first. After looping in the girls, Caroline told Sarah she doesn’t need to know who else is voting for Viola which to me, seems like something is going to mess up. Eden meanwhile was starting to spiral, worrying about how Mark will react to him blindsiding Mark’s closest ally outside of the Middle Aged Mafia.

Eden joined Sarah and Caroline in the shelter, before pulling Caroline aside to question what happens if Mark and Jay are upset and flip over to the OG Rebels and take control. Despite feeling like Eden was needlessly worried, Caroline suggested they loop in Jaden to try and neutralise the threat and make him feel like he is part of the plan. As such, Eden approached Jaden, who wisely offered that he would trust him. If that is what he wants. While Mark watched on, worried about them turning on each other too soon. Assuring us that if all the conversations he has seen happening up and down the beach worry him at tribal council, he is willing to play the idol for himself or V.

At tribal council Mark spoke about the Titans being thrilled to be able to show off a little more of their rebellious side, now that they’ve switched things up. Rianna meanwhile opened up about how difficult it has been to try and get any information out of the OG Titans and as such, they’re kind of sitting ducks. Alex joked that he should be kept due to his guns, though pointed out it would actually make sense for the former Titans to use them as numbers to try and take control, rather than just casting them aside. Mark spoke about how that does make sense, wondering whether it had crossed other OG Titans minds, as he and V both spoke about staying Titans strong. Caroline spoke about the fact the Titans are a tight six and for now, they are staying together and taking advantage of the chips falling in their way. Eden and Mark danced around the fear of not making a move soon enough, and finding the balance of stability and advancement. Before he spoke about being confident in his group, rather than the Titans.

Viola admitted that she was trying to think two steps ahead, once the Rebels trio are gone, knowing that if someone doesn’t make a move, they become the sitting ducks. Alex implored them to make a move before their rivals make one on them, before Mark reiterated that is just the game in a nutshell. Caroline then got super awkward, stumbling over her words, which appeared to be the final thing to convince Mark that something was afoot. With that the tribe voted, Mark held on to his idol and Viola was tragically blindsided from the game.

Viola followed my wailing sobs all the way back to Loser Lodge where I crumpled straight into her arms. She held me as I cried uncontrollably for a couple of hours, before assuring me that she is ok and I would be too. And while I still don’t know if I believe her – I mean, what a damn loss – she did promise to hook me up with a puppy on Dog House Australia. And that kinda cures everything. That, and a piping hot batch of Viola Soup Jokudumplings, that is.

While there is an abnormally high chance of burning your tongue, mouth and oesophagus, these delicious dumplings are more than worth it. Warm and hearty, with the right amount of sweetness, there is no better dish to cheer you up.

Enjoy!

Viola Soup Jokudumplings
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 ¼ cup chicken stock
3 tbsp light soy sauce 
2cm piece ginger, sliced 
5 cloves garlic, bruised
7g gelatin powder
500g pork mince
2 tbsp shaoxing wine
¾ tsp kosher salt
½ tsp sesame oil
¾ teaspoon raw caster sugar
3 tbsp water
¼ tsp ground white pepper
1 tbsp minced ginger
18-20 gow gee wrappers

Method
Bring the stock, 2 tablespoons of the soy sauce, ginger and garlic to a simmer over medium-high heat and cook, stirring occasionally, until reduced to about 1 cup of liquid. Skim off the ginger and garlic, add in the gelatin and whisk to incorporate. Transfer to a shallow pan and pop in the fridge to set for an hour.

In a food processor, blitz the pork mince for 30 seconds to form a paste. Add in the shaoxing, salt, sesame oil, caster sugar, water, pepper and ginger, and blit for another minute or so, or until it all comes together. Transfer to a large bowl, cover and transfer to the fridge to rest until the soup sets. Once the soup has set, cut it into 1.5cm cubes and fold through the pork mixture and return to the fridge until you’re ready to assemble.

Prepare your steamer, lining it with cheesecloth to make sure the dumplings don’t stick. 

Once you’re ready to assemble, place a tablespoon of filling in the centre of each disc and pleat to form a little pouch, leaving the seam at the top. Making sure it is completely sealed. Repeat the process until done.

To steam, place the dumplings in 5cm apart, making sure not to overload the steamer. Cook for about 8-10 minutes, or until piping hot and cooked through. Remove and repeat the process until they are all done.

Serve immediately with black vinegar and a bit of chilli, being super careful as they are very hot. But obvi, devour gleefully.


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Nathan Freematriciana Sauce

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Condiment, Pasta, Sauce, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Feras found a buried treasure, which, after grabbing a key from their reward, was able to unlock and learn it was home to an idol. Tragically for him, he was caught by everyone and while he tried to keep it secret, it was clear no one believed him. At the immunity challenge he stirred the pot with the Titans, asking whether anyone had found their treasure yet. And while they questioned whether he was being truthful, Mark’s ears well and truly pricked up on the way to the Titans narrowly jagging another immunity. Back at camp Aileen emerged to orchestrate a split vote between Alex and Tobias, which would ultimately result in Sarah having to decide which of her allies go home. Knowing he would be a threat if he didn’t, Feras played his not-so-hidden idol before Kelli stirred things up by switching her vote to Tobias and sending him out of the game without needing to involve Sarah.

The next day the mood was rather sombre at the Rebels camp as Sarah was in tears over Tobias’ surprise exit. On her birthday, no less. Kelli decided to be up front with her, admitting she changed plans at tribal because she felt it was the right thing to do. Kelli then broke down in tears and recited poetry as Sarah tried not to smack her, and hot damn, Sarah and Alex are in with a chance. As that little display is honestly enough to flip anyone into getting rid of her. Kelli approached Alex and implied that she is the sole reason he is still here, overstepping and telling him it was to allow him the chance to grow. And that he owes her, essentially. Instead, he started to run through names of other people he could work with. Feras and Kirby meanwhile were hanging in the ocean, assuring each other that there won’t be any more secrets between them. And that trust is still there. After they split up, Alex and Sarah approached Kirby to float the idea of making a move against Feras, given he is in a power position. And is the holder of the Titans’ treasure key.

Over at Titans, Jaden and Winna were busy singing everyone awake in the style of my dear Celine Dion – in honour of her triumphant Grammys appearance, no doubt –  before talk turned to the potential treasure chest. Charles and Mark were well and truly believing everything Feras told them, while the rest of the tribe were a little bit disinterested. Mark opened up about the fact Viola and Valeria are his closest allies, and as such, they got to work hunting for the chest together. Well, Mark and Valeria, that is. Viola was busy being bench-pressed by Jaden. After finding it and realising it was locked, they quickly rehid it and returned back to camp to figure out how to convince the Rebels to hand him the key.

The tribes came together with Jonathan in the middle of the jungle for the latest reward challenge where they would have to face off one at a time, racing to knock over the other tribe’s two idols of perches. With the first tribe to 4 jagging a full kids birthday party. Alex and Nathan were first to battle with Alex quickly jagging the first point for the Rebels. Valeria then scored for the Titans, mainly because Rianna once again made an odd choice in a challenge. And side note, could someone check on her as she seems to be struggling with the lack of food. Feras then overcame Jaden, before Kirby played it super smart and destroyed Viola and then Charles and Ray tried for the same strategy, well, after Ray was adorable and chatty with Charles about video games. Oh but Ray wasn’t just iconic and adorbs, he was also the hero, as he secured the win for the Rebels.

They arrived at the party and immediately started smashing all the snacks in sight, before Sarah thanked everyone for holding space for her when she was struggling in the morning. And for dominating in the challenge and scoring her an actual birthday party. Everyone congratulated Ray for being a hero in the challenge, before they found photos from home and completely got distracted. Kirby opened up about her family growing up, Garrick was adorbs dressed as batman, Sarah spoke about her and her dad’s beach trips before Kelli dried her tears long enough to open up about her family. We powered through pretty quickly, so the cliffsnotes are that Aileen grew up in Nepal and Feras has not changed in 30 years. After letting their guards down and opening up, Feras asked if anyone has any ideas who they should give the key to on the Titans tribe, with him wanting to cause as much chaos as possible. While Kirby admitted to us that Feras’ power scares her and while they are close, she knows she needs to stay one step ahead of him, lest she want to be blindsided.

Everyone reunited with Jonathan for an epic obstacle course immunity challenge where they have to race to chop through a log to release planks, go up and over a tower, use the planks to build a bridge, solve a hanging plank puzzle and then use coconuts to knock off the puzzle. After begging to participate all through the reward, Kelli was firm that she wanted to be part of a heroic section of the challenge. But to get there, Jaden and Alex had to absolutely demolish their logs. Obviously Jaden got the Titans out to a small lead, though the Rebels were hot on their heels building the first ladder. The Rebels started to pull out in front until Kelli hit the bridge and slowed everyone down, leaving the tribe to grow angrier and angrier about her existence. The Titans quickly solved their puzzle, and to quote Jonathan, Nathan busted nut after nut, as he secured another immunity for the Titans. As Garrick fumed about needing Kelli gone immediately.

Back at camp it was hard for everyone to hide their rage at Kelli as they lamented about the loss. As she went for a swim with Kirby, everyone straight up talked shit about her decision making skills and the fact she won’t even admit she was wrong. While Kirby tried to get through to her and make her see that she let the tribe down. As everyone locked in the easy Kelli vote, Kirby assured her that she does feel like Kelli is useful to her game. That is, if she promises to vote with her. Kelli tried to join up with everyone at the well, with them all wandering off to find Kirby instead. Scott and Alex tried to point out that Kelli needs to go, with her straight up refusing, given she isn’t a threat and is disposable each and every week and instead, she’d like to get rid of Feras. And while the boys pretended they were on board, their faces say they are ready to get rid of Kelli and to get back to winning. While Alex just wanted to stick with the numbers.

Feras and Garrick meanwhile were catching up in the shelter, hoping that Kirby will remain loyal and they will be able to finally get rid of Kelli. Alex joined them to try and discuss the plan before Kelli followed and sighed in their general vicinity. As they walked away from her, she found the girls with everyone locking in the vote for Feras. As Alex approached Garrick and Feras to confirm their plans, Kirby sent Kelli over to annoy them. Leaving Alex mere seconds to blurt out the plan to blindside him.

Obviously this infuriated Feras who was hurt by the fact Kirby was gunning for him, despite the fact he trusted her. The boys then floated the idea of getting rid of Rianna instead, to leave Kirby all by her lonesome. And I assume, because she is making silly decisions in challenges like Kelli. Feras and Garrick split up to float the idea and find their six votes, with Feras hoping to flip Aileen and Scott to vote with them. Scott continued to have a breakout episode, happily agreeing to get rid of Rianna, given he is close to Kirby and getting rid of Ri leaves Kirby alone to ride with him. Which is smart.

At tribal council Kirby spoke about the importance of people being in the right position in challenges if they want to avoid coming back to tribal council. With Alex barely hiding his disdain for Kelli bombing the challenge. She in turn tried to say that he sucked chopping the wood – which he didn’t, sorry – before Garrick cut in and told them how draining their feud is. JLP then announced that the tribal council will play out a little bit differently tonight, as instead of voting to send someone home, they will be sending someone to the Titans as a saboteur. Immediately making Kirby question her plans, given Feras has the key and sending him to the Titans is handing him even more power. JLP outlined that all the saboteur would have to do is bomb the next immunity challenge and send them back to tribal council. If they succeed, they come back to the Rebels. But if the Titans win the next immunity challenge, they stay on the other tribe.

Scott pointed out that it sounds like the perfect job for Kelli, while she suggested that Feras makes much more sense. Feras admitted he would be happy to go, knowing full well he can unlock the treasure. Feras and Kelli both tried to pitch Feras to go, with Kirby desperately – and obviously – getting her to offer herself up. Kirby grew so anxious about Feras going, she almost offered herself, before admitting that she just doesn’t trust what Feras would do when he makes it to the over tribe. Kirby spiralled more and more, as Kelli panicked about doing it, leading to Scott stepping in and calmly pointing out there is no way she would fail, so it is minimal risk. Which I guess we will find out, as the tribe voted and unanimously sent her to join the Titans as a saboteur. Well, after Alex gleefully pointed out that Kelli is good at everything and is a physical powerhouse and as such, there is no way she could possibly fail.

We followed Kelli over to the Titans tribe where Kelli delighted in waking everyone up, which they, obviously, hated. Winna thought they were under attack before realising they have a new tribe member who literally dove into the shelter. She then told tales about how she was in a beautiful alliance, but then added she was voted out unanimously, which obviously had both Mark and Eden realising it was all bullshit. While Kelli, bless, assumed that once again, she was doing a stellar job.

The next morning over at the Rebels, they were rested and recharged after a quiet Kelli free night. Alex was overjoyed and positively buzzing, as they reflected on how harmonious things now were. Kirby meanwhile was a little nervous, realising that the twist at tribal council ruined the potential blindside and as such, Feras knows he can’t trust her. As Kirby was debriefing with Scott, he shared that Feras had thrown out Ri for the last tribal council, making her feel even more heat. Scott went and looped in Ri, and pointed out they needed to come up with a plan ASAP. You know, aside from Kirby’s repeated get rid of Feras.

We checked in with Titans where Winna and Nathan were ogling Jaden’s ripped bod before they ventured back to camp to learn more about Kelli. And quickly realised that despite them being on the bottom of the Titans tribe, Kelli has bought them one more round, given she is the obvious target should they return to tribal council. Charles and Eden then questioned her about the treasure, with her being very vague about the note – probably genuinely – before spilling that there is likely an idol inside. In a panic, Mark and Viola made a run for it to try and find the box and rather than wait for the key, Mark literally tore the box open and jagged it. And after quickly celebrating, found Valeria to fill her in. Oh and Valeria reiterated that she does not trust Caroline. At all. Even a little bit, which is an iconic feud that I never knew I needed.

The tribes reunited with Jonathan for the latest reward challenge where they would perch between two frames in duos back to back, standing on small footholds, with the last pair standing winning their tribe a glorious coffee and toastie reward. Almost instantly, Garrick and Ray dropped for the Rebels, followed by Jaden and Nathan at the Titans. Tragically the Vs couldn’t get it together and were the next to go, followed by Kelli and Caroline, leaving Charles and Kitty to carry the hopes of the Titans on their literal back. After ten minutes, the remaining pairs stepped down to a smaller foothold and were all still going after twenty minutes, when they had to go to tiny ones. Which saw Sarah and Kirby drop instantly, followed by Charles and Kitty, handing the Rebels yet another reward.

Arriving back at camp, the Rebels were delighted to see the sheer bounty of food and coffee waiting by the fire. Everyone got to work smashing sandwich after sandwich, while Feras kept his eyes firmly on Kirby. Who was busy talking to Scott and Rianna about how best to move forward. Feras then turned his attention to idol hunting, pulling Ray aside to assist, as everyone else made coffee. And while Feras literally had his hand on the idol multiple times before realising it, he eventually spotted it and popped it in his pocket for safe keeping. Not wanting to use it to just save himself once, Feras caught up with Alex to let him know about the idol, followed by Scott, hoping that it would spread like wildfire and buy him even more time.

Things were decidedly less exciting over at the Titans, as Caroline was heartbroken to have missed out on reward. And kinda, sorta became the food tyrant of the tribe, yelling at the boys for eating too much. So now it is Winna and Nathan, and the Vs that hate Caroline. In turn, she was ready to get rid of Nathan ASAP to guarantee they have as much food for everyone as possible. Oh and in Kelli updates, she was vibing on all the conversations she was having with the Titans and was questioning whether throwing the challenge is really the right move for her game. Which is the most Kelli thing that Kelli has said in six episodes.

JLP made his triumphant return for the next immunity challenge where the tribes would race to untangle rope to release paddles, paddle out to collect blocks and then use the blocks to solve a word puzzle. While the rest of the tribe held up a platform on which it would be solved. Oh and despite needing to sabotage the challenge, now was the time for Kelli to choose to sit out. Rebels were first to unlock their chest as the Titans nipped at their heels. They continued to power through the water until they did a little loop, though still managed to make it to shore with a decent lead. Which evaporated, given it is a puzzle and Jaden is ripped. Aileen though made quick work of the puzzle and they managed to spell it, lower their platform with ease and save themselves from tribal council. While Kelli watched on like she had saved herself, despite not doing her job as saboteur. Which, again, is classic Kelli.

Back at camp Kelli admitted to us that she sat out of the immunity challenge because she loves the Titans and just couldn’t bear the thought of sabotaging them. Caroline caught up with Kitty and pushed to get rid of Nathan, given he is literally eating them out of house and home. They quickly pulled in Mark and got to work orchestrating a split between Jaden and Nathan. They looped everyone in, before Winna approached them at the well, with Viola letting him know the plan was to get rid of Nathan. And while he said he thought he could get Jaden onboard, he appeared to be wavering. Eden sensed something was up, asking if he was sure he could turn on them. With him assuring Eden he was fine with it. Everyone quickly got in on the plan, with Winna telling Nathan the plan was instead Kelli.

Mark approached Viola to see whether she believed it was a good idea to go with the safe Nathan vote, or whether it was time to make a move against the middle aged mafia and get rid of Caroline instead. Given she is rubbing everyone the wrong way. Nathan meanwhile admitted to Jaden that he felt like the tribe was primed to blindside him, proving he has a pretty solid read on things. As everyone came together by the fire for dinner, Caroline continued to sass people for eating too much. Viola then got to work throwing out her name as another option, quickly getting the boys on board. After she left, Winna suggested that maybe this is all a ploy to confuse them as Nathan tried to keep him calm. And Jaden looked forward to fireworks at tribal council. Nathan caught up with Kelli by the fire, as the Vs and Mark circled back to confirm Caroline is an option. Though worried if they can really trust the boys to vote with them.

At tribal council Eden spoke about how sending Kelli to the Titans was wise for the Rebels, given she is both open and friendly. Mark questioned whether she was a spy before JLP and Kelli admitted that she was in fact sent over as a saboteur and since they lost immunity – albeit through no work from Kelli – she would be returning to the Rebels, as she held back tears. 

Immediately moving on, Nathan spoke about how he has spent the game playing catch-up after not making the right relationships at the start. Eden spoke about how not everyone is aware they could be in trouble, while Valeria suggested they needed to be cautious every single time. Caroline spoke about feeling mildly confident that she is on the right side of the vote, while Kitty suggested that everyone that matters knows the plan, as Jaden laughed about needing to talk to people. Despite laughing it off and trying to act like he was out of the loop, Kitty told him to just hold firm and stick to the plan. And when JLP pointed out that he just said he wasn’t across it, she cut him down and assured him that Jaden was across it. With that the tribe voted and despite the potential excitement, Nathan was shown the door. Tragically, alongside his speedos.

Nathan followed my wailing sobs all the way to Loser Lodge, where I quickly ran into his ripped arms for a hug. He held me as I cried for about 30 minutes, as I sobbed about only having Alex’s speedos left in the game. Despite being arrogant in the first couple of episodes, Nathan is also super kind as he assured me that while his speedos may be gone, I will always have the memory of them. And honestly, that line alone is enough for me to lobby 10 to pop him on the next All Stars. Until then, however, I had to settle with slurping down a big, thick jug of his Nathan Freematriciana Sauce.

Rich, lightly salted and packing a little heat, amatriciana sauce may not be the most famous out of Italy, but it is one of the best. Better still, it is so quick and easy, it is the perfect solution when you don’t know what you want for dinner.

Enjoy!

Nathan Freematriciana Sauce
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, diced
200g pancetta, diced
1 tsp chilli flakes
5 garlic cloves, minced
800g can diced tomatoes
¼ cup parsley, roughly chopped
kosher salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Pop the oil in a deep skillet over medium heat and cook the onion, pancetta, chilli and garlic for five minutes, stirring frequently. Or until the onion is soft and sweet. Add the tomato paste and cook off for a minute before stirring through the tin tomatoes. Bring to the boil, reduce to a simmer and cook for 10 minutes, or until it comes together. Add the parsley and season to taste.

Serve with your favourite pasta with a generous helping of parmesan, obvi.


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Blueberry & Jessicustard Pienaher

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Baking, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor 24 new castaways were dumped on the islands of Samoa. Split based on whether they were rule makers or breakers, Titans faced off against the Rebels to find which approach would prove superior. And if the first episode is anything to go by, the Rebels are going to demolish, as the Titans struggled to listen to each other, allowing the Rebels to expertly work together and win back to back challenges. At the Titans, Nathan, Frankie and Jaden were keen to take control given they identified themselves as cool and strong. Sadly for them, three does not a majority make, leading to Eden and Mark orchestrating a coup before they could even try to take control, icing Frankie and leaving Nathan without any friends.

Though still, he looks good in a speedo. And that matters.

The next day things were still delightful over at the Rebels as Alex rocked out in his speedo and the tribe were frankly just vibing and living their best lives. Despite the fact Kelli is at an 11 at all times, though to be fair, she was focused on Alex and how good he looks in said speedo, I relate to her on a deep level. Even if she is so irritating, everyone wants her gone ASAP. The tribe caught up around the fire to brush their teeth with charcoal and while it looked like they literally ate shit, they were feeling fresh and lovely. Tobias and Sarah meanwhile were slowly falling in love, chatting as they worked on the shelter. After learning about her career as a firefighter, she told us that she, Tobias, Peta and Alex have quickly locked in an alliance. While Raymond was busy running around the jungle, making things awkward and being all around sketchy. Which I hate, as he is adorbs. And to reiterate, works in DVDs, which is a dying market, so he needs this.

Over at the Titans things were still well and truly a mess as Nathan opened up to Winna about feeling left out after Frankie’s blindside, talking about how much he just wished he knew it was coming. And yeah, I’m sure he and Frankie wish they knew. While he was heartbroken to have lost someone he knew for two days, everyone else tried to act like they cared. Thankfully we pivoted to Eden and Mark, who joyfully reflected on taking control by orchestrating Frankie’s demise. Despite the fact Jessica had convinced herself it was all her idea. She well and truly started to feel her oats, and while she thinks she is in charge, it is clear Mark and Eden won’t let her believe it for long.

The tribes came together with JLP for the reward challenge where the tribes would compete in rounds playing tug of war over a huge crate. With the victors jagging the item within the crate in each round. Nathan and Jaden faced off against Alex and Feras, and while the Titans kinda made quick work of things, it was mainly because of Mark’s coaching from the sidelines rather than their strength. As the Titans celebrated jagging fishing gear, Peta and Aileen lined up opposite Caroline and Valeria. And quickly found themselves in a stalemate for 10 minutes before Mark, once again, coached the dolls into another win. This time just a couple of bananas, which honestly doesn’t seem worth it. Tobias, Sarah, Scott, Rianna and Kirby made quick work of Jess, Mark, Kitty, Viola and Winna, jagging the Rebels supplies to make smores. Before the final round saw Garrick and Raymond battle Eden and Charles for a massive tarp. And despite the Rebels starting strong, they quickly faded and found themselves overpowered as the Titans took out victory.

Back at camp the Titans were on cloud nine to finally have a win under their belts, vibing over the tarp, bananas and fishing gear. Mark in particular was thrilled to have a bestie in Eden and that they found another dynamic duo to align with, the Super Vs. Winna meanwhile almost choked while eating his banana after finding a clue hidden inside. He went for a swim with Jaden and shared it with him, kinda, though was a little bit too vague for Jaden to be able to do anything with the information. Thankfully he was pretty sure he knew where the idol was hidden, so planned to make a beeline for the palm tree the next day. Which totally means someone else will grab it today, right?

The next morning Winna woke up nice and early, so went for a walk to collect his idol and surprisingly it was still there! Once again proving that if Australian Survivor is going to do one thing consistently, it will instantly shut down my predictions.

The tribes reunited for the latest immunity challenge where they would race to climb a very tall frame, crawl through a twisted net and release coconuts from a shoot above their heads. And then shoot said coconuts in a basket held up by the rival tribe with the last tribe standing taking out the win. Once again the Rebels got out to an early lead after powering over the frame, before Aileen got stuck in the net. Jess then snatched the lead for the Titans before Raymond tied things back up as both tribes got the hang of the obstacle. When it came to the coconuts, the Titans started to struggle, allowing the Rebels to snatch back the lead which gave them a head start to weigh down the bag. Sadly Nathan was kinda an icon, weighing down the Rebels basket far quicker and giving Viola and Jaden more time to hold one. Though it was all for nought, sadly, as Alex got his eye in, loading up the Titans before they dropped out of nowhere, handing the Rebels another immunity.

Back at camp the tribe were heartbroken to have come so close to taking out victory but choking at the end. Speaking of choking, Nathan once again was winning me over in his speedo. As he went to wash off, Eden and Mark caught up and decided they needed to get Jess to identify a name so they used that to rally the tribe against her. Sadly for that plan, Jess approached Nathan to see what he was thinking, with Jess admitting she wants to focus on strength. And when Nathan floated Eden, she was on board, so the duo split up and got to work floating that name.

Sadly for Jess, she evidently didn’t realise how close Mark was to Eden and after catching up with him by the well, it was clear her confidence is likely going to bite her. After splitting up, Mark quickly got to work rallying the tribe against Jess, but hoped to keep it secret from Eden, as he is likely to spiral if he knew he was a target. And that would actually help convince them to get rid of him instead. Sadly for him, Valeria chose honesty, warning Eden that Jess was coming for him and as predicted, he started to spiral. He went person to person, floating a vote split between Jess and Nathan, just in case she has an idol and would get him out with a single vote. And while people seemed keen to protect him, the panic made Mark nervous.

At tribal council Caroline spoke about the early votes being easy as the relationships are all fresh and there is less need to lie. While Viola felt everyone was on the same page, she admitted she was always nervous for a surprise before Nathan shared he is more confident about this vote than the last. Despite also being confident about it last night, just wrong. Eden opened up about knowing his name had been thrown out today and as such, he is feeling far more nervous about the vote ahead. While both Nathan and Jess looked on nervously. Jess spoke about how it is important to stay a couple of steps ahead of the game, while Nathan reiterated his confidence. This time adding in the fact he hadn’t heard a name.

Jess then came out and spoke about her running the plan against Frankie, thinking it would win hearts and minds. Sadly, though, it only seemed to annoy Nathan, Jaden and Winna. Eden then asked Jess if she threw out his name, with her doubling down and arguing that she was always happy to hear other names, but nobody spoke up. While Mark ominously mentioned that the performances at tribal council really highlighted who he wanted to work with moving forward. With that the tribe voted and despite Jess feeling like a baller, it was clear her performance did not do what she thought it would, as the tribe rallied together to boot her from the tribe.

As she arrived at Loser Lodge, Jess was very confused about how it turned on her. And given I am kind of that guy, I outlined that being smug and performing for a jury that doesn’t start for a literal month, probably wasn’t the smartest move to make alliances. Particularly since she (thinks she) used Frankie, Nathan and Jaden being smug to rally the troops last episode. To her credit, Jess copped the brutal assessment on the chin and admitted she struggled to make connections, so the smugness came from the fact she was proud of overcoming that initial difficulty. Which made me feel super guilty as I plated up a Blueberry & Jessicustard Pienaher and toasted that accomplishment.

This pie gives off classic bakery treat energy in all the right ways. The crust is short and crumbly, the custard smooth and velvety and the blueberries tart and plump. And together, it is simply heavenly.

Enjoy!

Blueberry & Jessicustard Pienaher
Serves: 4-8.

Ingredients
250g flour, plus more for dusting
50g icing sugar
155g cold unsalted butter, cubed
3 eggs
1 ½ cups milk 
½ cup double cream
¾ cup raw caster sugar 
⅓ cup cornstarch 
4 tsp vanilla extract 
¾ tsp salt
500g blueberries 
1 tbsp lemon juice 
1 tsp lemon zest 

Method
Place the flour and icing sugar in a food processor and blitz to remove any lumps. Add 125g butter and blitz some more until it just starts to come together. Add an egg and blitz again. If it doesn’t come together, add a tablespoon of ice cold water, blitzing after each addition, until you have a smooth dough that just comes together. Once formed, shape into a disc, cover in cling and place in the fridge to chill for an hour or so.

Preheat the oven to 180C.

Dust a clean bench and a rolling-pin with flour and roll out the pastry until it is 4mm thick. Cut into 4-8 rounds and line pie pans. Trim off any excess dough and prick the base with a fork. Transfer to the oven and bake for ten-fifteen minutes, or until lightly golden and cooked through. Remove to a cooling rack until completely cooled.

While things get chill, combine the milk and cream in a medium saucepan and place over low heat until steaming. In a large bowl, whisk the remaining eggs with a quarter of a cup of cornstarch, half the vanilla, half a cup of sugar and ½ tsp salt until combined. Still whisking, slowly pour in the hot milk until it is all combined before transferring back to the saucepan.

Increase heat to medium and cook, whisking constantly, until the mixture boils and thickens. Remove from the heat and whisk in the remaining butter to combine. Divide the custard between the pie cases and pop them in the fridge to set for an hour or two.

In a medium saucepan, combine 2 tablespoons of cold water with the remaining cornstarch, and mix into a slurry. Add the blueberries, remaining sugar, lemon juice and zest, and the remaining vanilla and salt. Pop the saucepan over low heat and cook, stirring regularly, until the mixture thickens and loses its cloudiness. Remove from the heat and allow to cool for ten minutes before scooping on top of the pies and return to the fridge to set overnight.

Then, and only then, do you devour.


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Frankie Guascide Double

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Burgers, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor eight batches of castaways were marooned in the middle of nowhere, ready to face the elements and each other until only one remained. A sole survivor, if you will. Of course there were also a duo of floptina seasons on 9 and 7, but as is oft the case, I’ve digressed. Last year, a batch of Heroes and Villains were pitted against each other and gurl, there was drama. Though once again George proved to lack the skills to jag a win, as Shonee’s bestie Liz stood taller than the rest, avenged her blindside and snatched the win. 

This year, we’re back in Samoa, as 24 castaways were split down tribal lines based on whether they are successes or march to the beat of their own drum. Or as marketing has positioned it, Titans or Rebels. Aka Champions V Contenders 3, with David vs Goliath teas. But that doesn’t matter either, what matters is that JLP’s arms are back on our screen. First we met Titan Viola who is charming, ripped and frankly iconic, and that just isn’t because she could (rightly) crush me like a bug. I mean, she anointed herself Queen V and yeah, it feels correct. Lawyer Charles was less charming, but was also super successful and rocked socks and sandals, so I have a soft spot. Valeria was next up, an iconic model and damn I hope she lasts as that fluffy jacket will struggle in the weather after a month and I need to watch that journey. And then we met Mark the diplomat, who gives off the energy of an early flameout or a strong winner. Likely no in between. Oh and Nathan is ripped, which is sometimes all that matters. But who knows, maybe he will be more.

We pivoted from our rule makers to our rule breakers and what they lacked in Viola and Valeria, they made up for in sheer scrappy energy. Garrick rocked a leather jacket like all good mall cops as he gave big ‘hey, fellow youths’ energy, bar manager Peta looks like Nat Bass covered in tatts, Kelli the psychologist feels better placed on the Titans at first glance based on her career as a psych, but looks wild and ugh, I live for it. Though I would obvs hate it if I was on the beach with her. Oh and Feras is kinda hot, though he loves King George, so I worry about him being way too much. And then there is poor old Ray works in DVDs, so we know he needs a win in this modern era of streaming.

The Rebels stopped looping the Titans boat and taunting them long enough for everyone to disembark and meet Jonathan on the shore for the first challenge of the season. After a little getting to know you, that is. Kelli was first up introducing herself, dancing around and turning me on her quicker than Silky Nutmeg Ganache on her first season. Before we fell in love with her again on All Stars, that is. Raymond from DVDs was self-deprecating before JLP bounced over to the actual Titans, where Viola straight up queened it around. Again. Because, duh. Oh and Jaden is a soft giant hunk of man. Which is not thirst, just a fact.

But, finally, the challenge.

After everyone whacked on their buffs they learnt they would race out to a pontoon to collect fire making gear, bring it back, build a fire to light a massive totem and burn through their flag. With the winners getting fire and flint. Losers, obvi, get nothing. The tribes raced out where I met my current favourite, Alex, who was rocking a hot pink speedo. So swoon, give him the coin. Shut it down, thank you zaddy. The Titans did a little chain, while the Rebels just schlepped it back solo and kinda powered ahead. Though maybe because Tobias is built like an absolute unit. And if he were in a speedo, I presume, he would be my fave. But alas. The Titans realised they were in trouble, so pivoted, to copy the Rebels. Everyone kind of agreed they had enough wood at the same time, so it became a battle to get a flame with Nathan powering for the Titans while Aileen kinda struggled. She traded out with Rianna as Nathan lit the torch and lit the fire. Sadly for the Titans, however, they hadn’t built it up enough and it went out just as quickly. As Alex sauntered back and forth in his speedo, Tobias traded in for Rianna and got fire, lighting the Rebels torch to light  their fire, before they nurtured it long enough to light the totem and flag, handing them the first victory over the Titans.

Proving, once again, that nothing beats a man in speedos. And yes, using that logic, Alex is my winner pick. Viola will have to be our Fourth Place Robbed Goddess, I guess.

We followed the victors back to camp as the tribe made their official introductions with Alex sharing he is a maths teacher, Rianna opting to go by Riri, sweet Scott won my heart simply by working for Mona (again, swoon). Kelli meanwhile is planning to hide being a psychologist, which makes sense but is unlikely to matter in the long run, given she is an easy target if they lose the first challenge. Alex meanwhile cemented himself as my winner pick, ready to use being a teacher to read the tribe and adjust his behaviour accordingly like he does in the school.

Over at the new Titans camp, superfan Eden was vibing and in shock to be on a tribe with a former AFL player, a strong man, a lawyer, diplomat, lecturer and a midwife. Despite Eden potentially nerding people into booting him out, his plan to win hearts and minds by using his passion for film as a cinema manager is wise. I mean, the logic that everyone has a favourite movie tracks and I have high hopes for him. Plus,  he seemed to find a nice pack of nerds to shield him from drama. Nathan, Jaden and Winna, aka the strong guys, all proved to have no idea how to build a shelter or really contribute, which annoyed the shit out of literally everyone. None more so than the women, who watched them stare at Valeria while they worked thatching palm frond roofing.

Frankie and Nathan wandered off to find supplies, cementing a quick little alliance because she felt he was so dumb that she could well and truly control him. She flagged Valeria as a potential risk to her game but wanted to keep strength for the moment. While she formed real alliances with weaker people like Eden and Caroline to take control. And presumably make it to the end together so she can beat them in challenges, which TBH, is shortsighted. But I digress, maybe she will shine.

We returned to the Rebels the next morning where Feras was vibing with the beauty of the location, despite the fact he had zero sleep the night before. Mainly because Kelli refused to shut up as Alex and Peta had a naughty cuddle, as did Tobias and Sarah. Before he could get into the deets, we ventured over to the Titans, where things were decidedly more bleak as the tribe got drenched by the rain as they continued to struggle with forming anything close to resembling a shelter. Valeria, more than anyone, was filled with rage over the situation, hoping for them to figure something else before she ages like she is on the beach from Old due to the sleeping conditions. Valeria and Viola, thankfully, were vibing and ready to lock in a tight alliance, hoping to loop in with Frankie and Mark. Speaking of Mark, he was busy speaking Thai with Winna, while Jessica started to spiral, feeling like she is on the outs. 

After Nathan briefly rocked some speedos like the zaddy he is, he caught up with Jess who made the most of her nerves, pointing out a lot of the strong girls have the same skills – being strong – and as such, suggested Frankie was disposable. Which Nathan obviously took straight back to Frankie and just like that, Jess, you in danger girl!

The tribes came together with Jonathan for the first immunity challenge of the season where they would have to race to lift a crate to uncover a heavy wrecking ball. They would then pull it through a series of obstacles before rolling it down a ramp to knock over pins. First to knock them all down, jagging immunity and saving themselves from joining the Des Quilty first boot club. Given the Titans are ripped, they got out to an early lead until the Rebels overtook them and pulled ahead, giving them a very handy head start. The Rebels powered through the obstacles, until Jaden and Winna double handedly closed the gap. Both tribes took different approaches with getting the ball to the top of the tower, with the Rebels once again playing it smart and taking back the lead as they quickly knocked their first pin. As the Titans struggled to get the ball up, the Rebels got to work prepping for their second go around, knocking another target as the Titans got their first. Despite going for their third roll, the Rebels missed, which left the Titans enough time to make a play to overtake. Sadly, however they tangled their roped, leaving the Rebels to knock the last over and scoring immunity.

Back at camp the Titans were all nervous and anxious as Jessica pulled them together to call them out for not being smart or cohesive, and losing everything. Frankie immediately jumped in and told everyone they tried their best and that is all that should matter. While Jessica kinda continued to stand her ground, despite clearly annoying people. As they split up, Frankie and Nathan quickly locked in their votes for Jessica before splitting up and going person to person to rally the troops. Nathan, thankfully, in speedos. Zaddy Nathan, however, told Kitty and Caroline to stick with him and he will carry them through the game, which makes me nervous. While Frankie, Viola and Valeria spoke about looking forward to getting rid of Jess and sleeping soundly. 

Nathan moved on to Eden, locking in an alliance, telling Eden too that he should stick with him, Jaden and Frankie. And while everyone would love to be carried, Eden clocked the offer for what it is, and as such, decided to rally a counter move. Or at least, the majority in Nathan’s majority. After Eden locked in Kitty and Caroline, he went to Mark to loop him in. Jess arrived at the same time, calling out the strong trio and somehow, stumbled into an alliance as they floated blindsiding one of the brawny peeps. Caroline, Mark and Eden then looped in Charles, debating the merits of getting rid of Jess as an easy vote or switching things up before the trio got a chance to take control. Before deciding on Frankie, given Nathan and his speedo will have no other option than to align with them.

Sadly for them and their plan, Mark decided the Vs were key to their plan and given they have been close with Frankie, I just don’t see it playing out simply. Wina and Jaden meanwhile continued to lock in their plan for Jess, though Winna grew nervous as he saw Jess was smiling and TBF, that is a kind of great read. Despite clearly being an accident. The Vs and Frankie pulled Mark and Charles aside to talk about the Jess plan and despite everyone actively discussing a plan against her, Frankie felt she was pretty safe and could read the tribe if things started to fall apart.

At tribal council Nathan spoke about finishing strong, despite the tribe proving to be an absolute mess. Particularly given he feels the need to take the hero moments of each challenge, and promptly bombing. As JLP read them for filth, the tribe laughed about how brutal his assessment was, before Frankie spoke about all the Titans struggling to get used to losing, given they are high achievers. Caroline called the tribe out for not playing smart, lacking a leader and as such, everyone was wandering aimlessly. Frankie countered they need leadership, not necessarily a leader, while Nathan spoke about being keen to be a leader, given that is what everyone kind of expects. While trying to say everyone has different strengths and weaknesses, it made it sound more like a read about the weaker people.

Jess spoke about needing to find balance between strengths, and not duplicating strengths to make sure the tribe has a diverse range of skills for challenges. As Frankie and Nathan smuggly smiled, feeling like she was digging her hole. Mark then spoke about dichotomy, wiping the smile off Nathan’s face as he wondered what the word meant. Viola meanwhile spoke about building strong friendships, though wisely cautioned that she also picked the right people to rely on. Which is ominous for Frankie, no? Mark admitted he was nervous about his plan coming together, while Frankie spoke about her confidence given it is kind of an easy vote and the game will kick off once they get back to camp.

With that the tribe voted and right on cue, the game kicked off a little earlier than Frankie and Nathan were anticipating, as the Vs locked in with the majority and sent Frankie out of the game the first boot. To her credit, as Frankie arrived at Loser Lodge, she took her blindside on the chin as while she felt it was a bad move to lose strength so early, she understood it was a game. I assured her that while her confidence contributed to her downfall, most of the blame should fall on Nathan’s people-dragging shoulders, given nobody wants to be the bottom of someone elses alliance. Which seemed to do the trick, as we toasted her brief run with a pair of Frankie Guascide Double.

This little Shake Shack copycat of the Roadside Double is so rich and punchy, only someone as strong as Frankie could handle it. The melty cheese, rich beef and a glorious mix of sweet and salty bacon jam are a true power trio.

Enjoy!

Frankie Guascide Double
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 Briocher Bünsberg, halved
2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
500g beef mince
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
4 slices Swiss cheese
1 tbsp Dijon mustard
½ – 1 cup Sosie Bacon Jam

Method
Heat a griddle of medium heat until warmed. Brush the insides of the buns with some melted butter and place open-side down on the griddle for a couple of minutes to toast. Transfer to a plate.

In a large bowl, scrunch the mince with your hands with a good whack of salt and pepper until just combined. Split into 4 even pucks and pop on a plate to rest.

Increase the heat to medium-high and once scorching, add the pucks and smash with a spatula until they are about 1 cm thick. Cook for about 3 minutes before flipping, topping with a slice of cheese and cooking for a further couple of minutes.

To assemble, divide the mustard between the top of the buns and pile a duo of cheesy patties on the bottoms. Top with a generous helping of bacon jam, close the bun and devour. Like the beautiful, built icon that you are.


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