Snack

Maddy Mormemphosis Burger

Burgers, Main, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 14, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race the dolls were gagged to discover poor Kornbread had to exit the competition after her ankle went creek. Before they were immediately put the task of making a series of PSAs for the fake Save a Queen Foundation a charity to help the ever growing sea of first boot queens to achieve success. Desperate to have their breakout moment, both Bosco and Camden work their arses off and thankfully starred in the challenge. On the flipside, Jorgeous was trapped in her head and struggled throughout the shoot, while Orion just seemed stoned. Ultimately Bosco took out her first victory of the season while Jorgeous and Orion faced off in the lip sync. And well, I pity the next queen to face off against Jorgeous, as she is a damn star. And as such, Orion was sent home. Again.

Backstage the dolls were well and truly reeling from how epic Jorgeous’ performance was in the lip sync and after a stint in the bottom, she assured them that she is ready to fight. Before dropping a joke about dropping out of school for drag, so she can’t lose. The girls then sat down to kiki, congratulating Bosco and Camden for slaying the challenge while DeJa pointed out that Daya was pressed about not being in the top. With Daya cutting her off and telling her she was not disappointed and simply wanted feedback to know how to elevate and land in the top with them. And well, the dolls are getting more pressed with each passing week. Particularly our queen of safety, Daya.

The next day things were far more zen with Camden ready to keep her momentum going before talk turned to how sickening their spring runways were. Before we could learn anything more Ru dropped by to talk shit about Michelle, sharing she has been under the influence of Glambien and obsessively shopping. And well, now that she is clean and sober, Ru would like them to whip up a runway using her leftover purchases from Glamazon Prime. 

Immediately, the Pit Crew dropped their boxes off before the dolls ripped anything and everything open to find something they could use for their outfits. Camden got skincare, Kerri got school supplies, Daya got oven mitts and Angeria got condoms while Maddy got a blow-up doll. And me thinks this runway could be a big mess. Poor Willow meanwhile couldn’t open the boxes because of her hands and instead focused on just going through the dregs of what was left. Daya meanwhile was desperate to make it to the top this week, going with a mad, pink baby-doll. Willow shared that she too was going to whip up a baby doll idea, leading to Daya calling her over from across the room with the threat that SHE is doing a baby doll and has claimed the concept. No discussions.

Kerri was terrified, given sewing is not her gig and instead focused on why Michelle was allegedly buying all this crap. On the Flipside, Jasmine had all the plans and was very excited to knock it out of the park. Talk turned to the last sewing challenge as the dolls realised Maddy had to lip sync and as such checked in with how she was doing. And to quote Dorinda, she was not well, bitch.

Ru brought Carson along for a walkthrough, first dropping by to praise Jorgeous for slaying her lip sync last week. She opened up and suggested she would love to do something different and dark, and most importantly, make sure it fits. Particularly in the bodice. Kerri was up next and had already pulled together a concept, opening up about how being bullied while growing up has left her so focused on always looking good and fearing rejection. Maddy too had a big gown half done, sharing she was going with a country patchwork story and well, Carson and Ru weren’t buying it. Though she did vow to give the judges what they want from her. Angeria meanwhile was going for a sculptural fashion number, though the judges already were terrified by her choice of fabrics.

Camden too came in with a strong concept and when Ru felt she needed no advice on that, instead suggested she go with a bigger lip as hers disappear on the runway. I shit you not. Jasmine meanwhile was inspired by Sex and the City 2, which is never a good style choice. Willow was up next, delighting the judges with her plan to be a long-armed glamour monster of a child’s nightmares and well, again, I love her. Daya meanwhile was very confident in her concept and skills, gloating to Ru about how she makes most of her outfits. Though did tone it down and asked the judges what they need to see from her, with Carson telling her to stop doing Crystal make-up looks and instead, encouraged her to show them who SHE is.

Oh and then Ru and Carson had a fight which was demented, camp and well, I loved it.

With the judges out of the room, the girls split up to work on their garments with Willow getting stuck in her head, as her hands worked less and less. Kerri meanwhile was teaching Angeria about a step and repeat before Jasmine rubbed salt in Daya’s wounds, asking her whether she was happy with the judges critiques. Daya then spiralled and rambled about not being stuck in Crystal’s shadow, while she struggled to get out of Crystal’s shadow. Kerri meanwhile told us that Daya’s anger was only because she was desperate and encouraged us not to worry. Which does feel strangely soothing.

Gorgeous meanwhile was busy working on a big, fluffy purple gown which shed more and more with every moment, looking like she just trimmed Grimace’s pubes. As such, she decided to give up on the outfit, grabbing some of Angeria’s scraps and starting from scratch.

Elimination Day rolled around with Jorgeous admitting that she pulled her dress together in a matter of hours before she started to beat her mug. Speaking of beating her mug, Camden was ready to give the biggest lip Ru had ever seen while Kerri, Jasmine and Angeria spoke about who they felt was going to be in the bottom. With them tragically thinking Willow will be read for filth. Bosco and Daya meanwhile were praising DeJa for her killer drag shape while Angeria jokingly wondered why no one was praising her.

As Jorgeous straight up started to dance.

Kerri opened up about how she was kicked out of home at 15. Her father used to ask her to leave the room due to her feminine energy and ugh, he sounds like a toxic prick. Thankfully because of the way he treated her, she learnt that he was a horrible person and was ok without her family. Jasmine shared that she was outed by one of her father’s friends, with her father trying to make him stop doing drag. Thankfully, his girlfriend wasn’t a moron and told him to stop being stupid and treat her son like a human.

Maddy then opened up about how she told her dad that she was a drag queen just before she left for the competition, with her admitting he is ok with it and proud of her for following her passions. Talk turned to her mother, who she hasn’t really seen since she was 18 and opened up that she was essentially raised by her grandmother who lived in the next door trailer. Oh and then Camden said she came out while getting dropped off at boarding school. Which Bosco clarified was ballet boarding school, so it was unlikely to be a shock for her father.

Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined by Queen Taraji P. Henson on the judges panel  where Lady Camden was a pastel, fairy delight, complete with a massive lip which truly did transform her face. Jasmine meanwhile truly looked like the fifth doll in the second Sex and the City movie which honestly, is not a compliment. Daya was meanwhile the nightmare version of Kita Mean’s promo image, Maddy was super country cute complete with her boyfriend while Willow was the sexiest monster I’ve ever seen. And again, I love her. Willow is fucking fierce. Bosco was blue and horny and well, looked sexy despite some interesting fit around the hips. DeJa meanwhile improved on Jinkx’s promo look – you know the one – while Angeria was absolutely perfect, serving cocktail realness. And then Jorgeous gave a sexy, slutty mini-dress, looking like Shakira while Kerri was hot despite the fact her outfit had SO much going on.

Daya, Willow, Bosco and Kerri were sent to safety, much to Daya Betty’s absolute disgust. While Kerri too was disappointed to once again be safe, she was at least grateful for another week in the competition. Unlike Daya who scowled and stomped in, quietly sulking on the side. Bosco meanwhile was confused about where the dolls on the mainstage would place. Which led to Daya ranting about how hard she worked this week, while Jasmine just draped fabric around her perfect body. Which is clearly why she is in the bottom. As Bosco told her, reading my mind. Daya admitted that she thought she would be in the top but knew Lady Camden would likely take out a win. 

Oh and then she spoke about hating listening to people bitch and moan as she proceeded to bitch and moan. Again.

Willow on the flipside was thrilled to be safe, given she was so worried she would be in the bottom. She then said she had the best concept on the mainstage, eliciting eye rolls and shadiness from Daya. Bosco opened up about being proud of her look, explaining that she was leaning into the fact the challenge was to make shit without fabric and as such, didn’t do a garment that looked like it was made from fabric.

On the mainstage, Camden was busy receiving universal praise for everything she did, and for looking like an absolute star. With Ru particularly thrilled by her massive lips. Jasmine meanwhile was read for filth, misunderstanding Carson’s request for her to take off the hat as a joke. Maddy and her blow-up doll were deemed confusing, despite it looking cute and exactly on the narrative she was going with. While Taraji loved the comedy, she wished the look was more polished. DeJa’s look was beloved, except for the messy headpiece and fan. Angeria again received universal praise for literally everything she did, charming the judges with her descriptions and is this another win for her? Jorgeous also received universal praise with the judges living for the look despite its simplicity. Being a humble queen, Jorgeous thanked Angeria for sharing her scraps with her and ugh, it is too precious.

That being said, Ru was still tempted to make her lip sync, just because she wants to see her perform.

The tops and bottoms ventured backstage to untuck with Jasmine quickly claiming the fact she was in the bottom. Jorgeous meanwhile proudly spoke about how much the judges lived for her outfit as Daya and Jasmine looked on with simmering rage. Angie too proudly spoke about being in the top before Maddy pretended the judges lived for her before admitting the judges hated it. When she said she thought she’d be lip syncing tonight against Jasmine, and then Jasmine got angry at her for saying that she was ready to fight. Shadilly saying she is not bothered at all. While DeJa non-chalantly announced Maddy is here, she’s not queer and they need to get used to it.

Jasmine continued to rant, telling Maddy she is so much better than her and well, it was not cute. Maddy meanwhile tried to apologise and again, Maddy is kind and sweet and Jasmine does not look good in this moment. But you know who does? Taraji, who dropped in to kiki with the girls, telling them not to be stressed as this is not the last drag show and they are winners for being here and as such, they need to remember they are all stars. Not to be confused with All Stars. And well, it was glorious. I want Taraji to give me a pep talk because she is GOOD.

Ultimately Angeria was deemed only safe – robbed – as was Lady Camden, handing Jorgeous her first victory of the season. Much to her own shock and delight. And Daya Betty’s simmering rage at the back of stage. When it came to the bottoms, DeJa was narrowly sent to safety, leaving Jasmine and Maddy to battle to my girl Beyonce’s Suga Mama. And while I desperately wanted Maddy to own it from start to finish, Jasmine was feeling her oats, giving Queen Bey realness as she flipped and fucked the floor while Maddy dragged her massive gown around the stage as she served perfectly demented comedy. Sadly though, that wasn’t enough and we tragically lost our fierce straight sister Maddy.

For realsies. As she too came up chocolate, with her candy bar.

As Maddy re-entered the Werk Room, she followed the sound of my wailing sobs, assuming it was still Daya crying about being safe. Thankfully she was relieved to see me, her dear friend, instead and pulled me in for a massive hug. I explained that she was such a kind, bright spark this season and after also losing Kornbread but a week earlier, I was struggling with my emotions. Turning the tables, she reminded me that she is a sickening queen and that being eliminated does not change that. Plus, she will have a hell of a run on All Stars. As such, she took me over to the grill and with a laugh, was delighted to see a very Guy Fieri inspired Maddy Mormemphosis Burger awaiting her.

A little bit smokey, with some creamy-tang thrown in by way of the slaw, this burger is the perfect, quick pick-me-up. Add in some bacon and well, I simply don’t know how this one doesn’t leave you with a smile.

Enjoy!

Maddy Mormemphosis Burger
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g beef mince
1 small onion, finely diced
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
½ tsp smoke essence
salt and pepper, to taste
olive oil, for brushin’
8 slices streaky bacon
4 slices American Cheese
4 Briocher Bünsbergs
¼ cup Shayonnaise Swain
¼ cup barbecue sauce
1-2 cups Benjamin Slaw

Method
Place the beef mince, onion, garlic, Worcestershire and smoke essence in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Scrunch together with your hands until well combined before dividing into four patties. Place on a lined plate, cover with cling and pop in the fridge to chill for an hour or so.

When you’re ready to go, heat a skillet over medium heat and once nice and hot, cook the bacon until golden and crisp. Remove from the pan to drain on some paper towel before adding a lug of oil to just coat the base – you may not need much, given the bacon should be fatty. Add the burgers and cook for a couple of minutes before flipping and cooking for a further couple of minutes. Pop a slice of cheese on each pattie and cook for a further minute or so, or until melted.

To assemble, smear mayo on the base of the buns, followed by a patty, two slices of bacon, barbecue sauce to taste and then a heaping of slaw.

Serve immediately with a side of fries and devour.


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Kornbread “The Snack” Jeté

Baking, Bread, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 14, Side, Snack

Previously on Drag Race, Ru got nice and meta by tasking the dolls with filming two parody super-tease commercials for their own season. Obviously madness ensued as Maddy made up that her dads cast her out for being straight, DeJa hilariously broke down over being born when she was young and Angeria continued her charming ways. At the other end of the spectrum, Kerri was read for not going ugly enough, Alyssa for being one note and Kornbread for not giving enough levels – complete with a slow-mo, mid-fake-tantrum! Ultimately Angeria rightly took out another victory for slaying the commercial and the J-Lo runway, while Kerri destroyed the lipsync in the actual green J-Lo dressing, saving herself and sending Alyssa home from the competition.

Backstage the dolls were heartbroken to see sweet Alyssa go home, while Kerri was just proud to have shown the girls what she is made of. Despite the fact she wished she was doing better in the competition, she was also glad to be able to get feedback and learn the judges wanted Scary Kerri to come back. The dolls took a seat and congratulated Angeria on her victory, while Bosco just wished she was cutting through as much Angeria with the judges. Kornbread meanwhile shared that she was heartbroken to have been in the bottom, though more than ready for her redemption. Oh and like Bosco, Camden was sick of continually being safe and was ready to star.

And YAS, we’re entering the era of Bosco and Camden, aren’t we?

The next day the queens returned to the Werk Room, with Kornbread conspicuously missing from the line-up. Before they could get answers, Ru arrived to announce that poor Kornbread’s onkle LITERALLY went cleek and that doctors advised that she would have to stay off her feet for two months and as such, was leaving the competition. In a filmed message to the girls, she praised Kerri for being the monster within, encouraged Jasmine to speak enough to the two of them and reminded Willow to look after herself. But also to throw away her damn flip flops. This got Willow ugly crying and ugh, I love them all.

While everyone was heartbroken to lose sweet Kornbread, Daya was thrilled that there was now one less front runner to contend with. Oh and Ru also announced that Kornbread didn’t have the golden ticket, so it is still in play for one of the remaining dolls.

We then did a hard pivot as the Pit Crew arrived to help split the girls into groups for the upcoming Maxi Challenge. One by one, the dolls would have to dirty dance with the hunks – oh god, am I old?! – until they pop their balloon bussies, with the confetti inside deciding which group they’re in. Bosco went first and blew green confetti, Jasmine got purple confetti all over Bryce’s back while Bruno had to power bottom to announce DeJa was on the orange team. Maddy poorly topped for the first time before landing on the purple team before Kerri effortlessly exploded to land on team orange. Daya and Camden got green while Jorgeous just couldn’t top before power-bottoming on to the orange team. While an orgy left Orion on purple and Angeria on orange.

Ru then wheeled out Tempest DeJour – complete with matching shirt to Daya – Jaymes Mansfield and Kahmora Hall before Ru announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge, each group would be making a PSA for the Save a Queen foundation, which supports first eliminated queens. With that, Tempest went to team Orange, Purple snagged Jaymes Mansfield while Team Green got the iconic Kahmora Hall.

The groups immediately split up to get to know their first boot sisters, with Tempest quickly looking after her babies and inspiring them to go in on her age, given that is the drama that surrounded her one-episode arc in Season 7. Despite Tempest keeping them focused and motivated, poor Jorgeous was super overwhelmed and nervous as public speaking is her weakness. Meanwhile over at Team Jaymes, Maddy opted to focus the PSA on giving her a second chance while Orion was just being mean. Which is hilarious. Maddy and Willow were a dream team with the scripting however, while Willow and Jasmine were just awkwardly off to the side watching the back and forth.

Ru ru-turned to kiki with the teams with Team Kahmora talking about the importance of keeping Kahmora in on the joke and given she is delightful, I feel this will be fun. Ru told Camden to think about a serious issue close to her heart to connect with the fake emotion required, with her literally just repeating the sentence back to Ru rather than sharing an issue. Ru then popped on his shady boots, pointing out Camden, Daya and Bosco have never been in the top, so wondered how they will make this work out for them.

When Team Jaymes jumped up, Jaymes shared how great her career has been despite being a first boot. Maddy led most of the discussion, while Orion was super nervous about getting the challenge done, given PSAs usually make her sad. Which made Willow nervous about how to land their characters. Team Tempest meanwhile were confident, with Angeria glad to mock her age as Tempest assured them she wants them to go really rude. Ru reminded them they need to play it straight, given being too jokey will give it away. Jorgeous took that to mean ditsier and cutesier and girl, please get out of your head because I love you.

We then followed Team Tempest to the set where they filmed in front of Michelle, where Jorgeous ripped off the band-aid but sadly couldn’t get her rhymes in during the allotted time. DeJa meanwhile got stuck in her head and forgot all her lines and while it appeared like that was contagious, Angeria rallied and knocked it out of the park. Oh and Kerri’s version of ugly was popping on glasses. Which is offensive to my bad eyesight, despite me loving her.

When Team Kahmora took stage, Bosco immediately took charge and directed the shoot and well, it was joyous, perfect and demented. Camden leant into her accent and was completely perfect, despite being a little quiet. Bosco on the other hand, was not quiet and lent into things with full rage. And then Daya gave full newsreader realness and damn, this is the group to beat.

Wait Jaymes Mansfield looks perfect and ugh, they could challenge her. Orion was in a jumpsuit while the rest served weather girl realness, with Maddy strong and Willow perfection – as usual – while Orion was sadly a little one note and Jasmine gave us the Count from Sesame Street realness leading to an EPIC read from Maddy which was perfect.

One bad take, ugh ugh ugh. Two bad takes …

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls quickly splitting up to beat their mugs with Daya, Bosco and Camden feeling confident in their PSA, while Camden was nervous she’d once again be safe. Bosco praised them both for nailing the entire thing while Jorgeous watched on awkwardly since she was counting on them bombing to save herself. Jasmine and Maddy kikied with the latter feeling very confident while Jasmine was super nervous given filming was a struggle for her. Orion meanwhile was feeling good and glad that she tried super hard, which made Jasmine nervous for her given she was kinda flat.

Jasmine moved on to talk to Jorgeous to chat about their first time in drag, with Jorgeous sharing that she started when she was only 16 at pride. She jumped on stage, starred and then booked a weekly gig at a club where her parents had to be there as chaperones and ugh, it was GREAT. Angeria and Willow were also kikiing about their families, with Willow talking about how close she is with her mother before opening up about how her body is disintegrating due to her condition and broke down to Angeria and Kerri about how that fires everything she does. And just like that, Willow has two new protectors to replace kornbread and ugh, it’s just so wholesome.

Ru, Michelle and Ross were joined on the judges panel by Ava Max as the queens kicked off the show on the Spring has Sprung runway where Jorgeous was perfect in a cute, pastel green mini dress. Kerri was a demented, stunning alien, coral-floral delight. Angeria too went floral with a yellow bodice dripping in flowers. DeJa served slutty Easter Bunny realness, Maddy was perfection as a torrential storm, Jasmine was a sparkly green showgirl while Orion did an even sluttier version of the Easter Bunny. Willow was delightful in a pastel country house dress, complete with Help Me written in blood on the back of the house built around her head. Daya was stunningly messing in an orange number while Camden did a weaker version of the Canadian Marie Antoinette runway. Well until she spilt the macrame tea. Bosco then served a killer reveal, going from a stormy cloud to a stunning sunshine gown.

The eliminated dolls returned to the runway with Tempest messy – in a good way – in leopard while Jaymes was delightfully campy in pink while Kahmora was obviously stunning in vintage Mackie.

When it came to the PSA, Angeria starred for Team Tempest while the rest were all ok, though Jorgeous really should have edited her script as there were too many words. And only Toto can pull that off. With Team Jaymes, it was Maddy and Willow’s show while Jasmine was bored and Orion struggled. Team Kahmora meanwhile knocked it out of the park with both Bosco and Camden really standing out and finally getting their star moments.

Well out of the queens, because the Sarah McLachlan cameo calling the PSA offensive was EVERYTHING.

Ultimately Kerri, DeJa, Maddy, Willow and Daya were sent to safety, with Daya complaining about just wanting to get critiques so she knows where she needs to improve. Kerri too was feeling flat about not being in the top while Maddy was shocked that Willow wasn’t in the top once again. Willow admitted she was just glad to not be judged as a group given their commercial was the weakest. Daya shared that she felt Maddy deserves more credit for what she is given so far in the competition, while Daya couldn’t tell how her sisters would be placed. When it is obvious they’re the top two.

DeJa meanwhile felt she should be in the top but when her sisters didn’t ask, she threw a tantrum about them not loving her. Before the drama could escalate, Tempest, Jaymes and Kahmora joined the dolls to untuck with Tempest and Jaymes reading them all for filth, while Jaymes praised herself for being great. Maddy then read her for filth and ugh, I love it. Tempest stepped in to remind Maddy to ignore the haters when she gets out of the competition because people will come for him for being straight.

On the mainstage, Jorgeous was praised for her killer runway though the judges were concerned by the disconnect between her confidence on the runway and her nerves in the challenge. Once again, Angeria’s performance was universally beloved while the judges felt the runway was a little ill fitting. Jasmine’s excitement didn’t translate to the performance given she was tragically monotone, though they lived for her runway. Orion was praised for looking stunning on the runway, while her challenge performance was read for being bored and tired. Lady Camden received universal praise for her camp runway and the seriousness she brought to the PSA. While Bosco too was completely beloved, with Michelle and Ross loving her willingness to take a risk and do something different.

The tops and bottoms joined the dolls untucking with Jasmine admitting she is definitely in the bottom though felt it was unlikely she’d be the one lip syncing. Orion on the other hand knew she’d be lip syncing while not really feeling it makes sense. Once again, Angeria shared that the judges lived for her while Camden was giddy to finally become a top. Which was a feeling shared by Bosco. DeJa suggested it could be a double win, while Daya narrowly avoided crying about being safe, wanting to know what she needs to do to land in the top. While her sisters read her for being too much. Jorgeous too was sure she’d be lip syncing and when everyone praised her for being such a killer lip syncer, Orion looked ready to cry. Because yeah, Jorgeous is an assassin.

Angeria and Willow then toasted to Kornbread’s performance in the competition as they opened up about the letters she had left them all. Jasmine shared she was grateful Kornbread called her out because she can genuinely grow from it and there was no malice. Willow opened up about how heartbroken she was to lose her dearest friend, with the queens agreeing that they all knew they couldn’t cross Willow without facing the potential wrath of Kornbread. Kerri started to break down over her bond with Kornbread and how she feels like she’s now lost her lifeline. As they prepared to return to the runway, DeJa gave Jasmine and Jorgeous a pep talk and reminded them to fight with no mercy even if it was against each other.

Given Orion already had some culinary comfort, I gave her a pat on the back for a job well done and legged it over to Kornbread’s hotel to make sure she was following doctors and feeling a-ok!

Poor Kornbread was in a moonboot as I joined her to help pack up, heartbroken to go out via an injury particularly given she was expecting to be a finalist. I reminded her that she truly was one of the front-runners of the season, but should she also return next season, she will have the rest of the cast terrified before they even step foot in the Werk Room, which is kinda a blessing. With that, we laughed, we cried and she vowed to come back bigger and better next year while splitting a Kornbread “The Snack” Jeté. Because obviously!

Oh and I also think it is important to note that she Vanjied out of the Werk Room for the last time this season chanting ANKLE. And. I. LIVE.

Given Kornbread is a star on her own, I opted for a simple, traditional recipe to honour her performance. A little sweet mixed with a tinge of salt is the perfect pairing for the fluffiest side imaginable. In a word, it is perfect.

Enjoy!

Kornbread “The Snack” Jeté
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
1 cup flour
1 cup cornmeal
¼ cup muscovado sugar
1 tsp baking powder
½ tsp baking soda
½ tsp kosher salt
½ cup unsalted butter, melted and left to cool
1 cup buttermilk 
¼ cup honey
2 eggs

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C.

In a large bowl, combine the flour, cornmeal, sugar, baking powder and soda, and salt and stir to combine. In a measuring jug, combine the melted butter, buttermilk, honey and eggs.

Using a wooden spoon, create a well in the middle of the dry ingredients and slowly stir in the wet ingredients until it is just combined.

Transfer the batter into a lined square cake tin and transfer to the oven to bake for 20-25 minutes, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean. Leave to rest for ten minutes before cutting and devouring.


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Lemon Crisps

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World 1, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

While Ru has expanded his reach across the globe, jetting Down Under and across the pond to the UK for local versions of Drag Race, that world domination is not enough. No, no – this time, Ru is taking it to the world, assembling a cast of iconic All Stars from across the globe in sunny old England for the chance to become the first Global Drag Race Superstar. Queen of the World, or something of that ilk, you know?

First to return to the UK Mainstage – literally – was one Ms. Baga Chipz, serving people’s princess realness and reminding us how great she did on Season 1 despite how annoying her confidence can come across. She was quickly joined by her fellow Frock Destroyer Blu Hydrangea who was looking like an exploded highlighter and ugh, I loved her Mary Berry Snatch Game so damn much. And in contrast to Baga, I am living for her newfound confidence. Blu congratulated Baga on not looking like a mess this time and while they were thrilled to be in each other’s company, they were soon delighted to be joined by their Essex sister Cheryl Hole. Thankfully vowing to be mediocre through and through.

They briefly started speculating about their international sisters before zaddy Janey Jacké arrived representing Holland and ugh, she is such a damn serve. I love her so much. The UK trio welcomed her with open arms and ugh, this congeniality is so glorious. The quartet were joined by Canada’s drag clown Jimbo, giving the kids a toastie – literally – and just being demented, and well, I’m already in love with this season. Particularly since Jimbo reminded us that Michelle was the guest judge when she went home and she is more than willing to confront her. But enough about that, Lemon is back and well, I look forward to her channeling Jojo Siwa at every opportunity.

Things took a massive turn as Pangina Heals the HOST of Thailand arrived to represent her country and ugh, she is perfection. And more importantly, she is such a damn superfan and looks ready to slay and have the best time. Oh and did we know Thailand lights contestants on fire? Beause slay! While the girls were gagged to be competing against a host, Cheryl was just glad to see someone else that hasn’t won a challenge. Yet. Next up was the ICONIC Monique Heart and well, she was feeling her oats as much as I feel her oats. While Blu shaded her for competing for the third time, Monique quickly mocked her for losing and wearing a glowstick. Before it could descend into chaotic fighting, Jujubee arrived to round out the cast and I don’t care how often they bring her back because she is the best.

I mean, can’t she just be the Tim Gunn/Christian Siriano in every Werk Room globally? Where do I start THAT petition?

After a brief getting to know you, a siren sounded before Ru arrived on a cherry picker to welcome them all into the competition. She then announced that this year, the winner would not only claim the crown but also get to record a duet with her, the one and only Ruple Charles. But first, they would have to show off their talent in a Royal Command Performance and then, Ru warned them, they would be the ones to eliminate their sisters.

With that out of the way, the dolls exited the mainstage and headed back to the Werk Room to claim stations and de-drag. More importantly, Cheryl was adorably showing Pangina her station from Season 1 as Baga and Jimbo were clowning up, breaking the room and claiming a corner together. Meanwhile the US girls were busy reading everyone for filth and ugh, this chaos makes me so happy. Not to be outdone, Blu was talking to Cheryl about how the US girls really changed the vibe of the room while poor Chez just wanted everyone to get along. Thankfully Baga decided to do some diplomacy, brewing tea for her sisters and teaching the international girls all of the local slang and explaining important things like the tube or Prince Andrew and pizza shops.

Elimination Day arrived with the girls quickly splitting up to get ready with Jimbo finding a toastie on her shoulder while Cheryl and Janey were just excited to get things started. Blu meanwhile approached Monique to explain that they met before Blu got famous and she was quite rude to her, with Monique quickly apologising to try and smooth things over. Janey and Pangina were meanwhile worried about being the sole representative of their countries, with Pangina trying to put it out of her mind and just do herself proud. More importantly, she is able to take criticism as well as she takes penis, which is something I’d get put on a T-shirt if I would gracefully take criticism.

Cheryl, Lemon and Juju were bonding in another corner, with the latter explaining this time feels different for her and despite it being her fourth time, she is still nervous. Chez was just grateful to now have them as her friends before talk turned to Jimbo and Lemon’s bond ,with Lemon confessing they aren’t actually close. Chez promised them that despite the competition being hosted in the UK there isn’t a hierarchy. While Juju reminded her she isn’t bothered because it has been UK vs the World for centuries.

And ugh, what. A. Read. Give Juju a damn crown!

Talk turned to the local drag scenes, with everyone pointing out UK is all about comedy while Canada is eclectic and Holland is straight up fierce. Oh and I stopped listening because Pangina’s friend owns a shrimp farm and then she explained that they don’t eat their shrimp on account of it being bad luck. Which is probably the greatest sentence I’ve ever read.

Ru, Michelle and Graham were joined by the one and only Melanie C aka Sporty mother-tucking Spice on the judges panel before Lemon opened the show performing an original song. It was high energy and ridiculous as she kicked and flipped herself around the stage before finishing with a slightly taller version of the ‘is she gonna jump from there moment’. And IT was ICONIC. Monique was serving a red leather clad love child of Tina Turner and Prince and ugh, perfection. She IS the moment, let me tell you. Brown cow, stunning.

Janey gave a lip sync number complete with multiple reveals and while I live for her, the first few looks were not great. The entire performance led to Baga deeming it a glorified strip show. Speaking of Baga she performed her song Much Betta when I think she was actually meant to lip sync, but God was it ridiculous and entertaining despite the fuck-ups. Speaking of ridiculous, Jimbo came out as a pregnant alien ghost with an empty briefcase of talent before birthing slices of devon and throwing them everywhere. It was demented, crazy and completely hilarious, having everyone in stitches. Except Cheryl who was just confused. Which was also an understandable reaction.

Cheryl was classic Chez, slaying as she lip synced to her hilarious song, hitting every moment and serving as she finished with a death drop. Jujubee then sang a ballad and while it was decent, I just kept waiting for an iconic ‘sensible 74’ moment. Pangina meanwhile dominated from start to finish, giving comedy and narrative and the sharpest dancing I’ve ever seen on the mainstage. Blu then did a cheer routine to her original song complete with a duo of mannequin dancers tethered to her arms and legs and it was a totally stupid pop delight. I mean, she offered to blow Ru and read her mannequin sister for stepping on her toes. Perfection!

On the I’m a Winner Baby Runway Lemon was a grown-up version of her baby pageant girl from Canada Season 1, looking as golden as her gown. Monique was gorgeous in a lush green gown while Janey was perfection in a sparkling, red nude illusion. Baga meanwhile was a literal Oscar and while it was scary, she sold it. Speaking of scary, Jimbo was the scariest black and white queen and it was completely stunning. Chez meanwhile popped some gold stars on a white gown and while it was basic, she gave us a perfect mug and an absolutely massive bouffant. Juju gave a generic beaded purple pageant gown while Pangina stole the show in a shimmering white Thai inspired gown. And it. Was. Stunning. Before Blu came out looking like a licorice all sort that she described as a BDSM troll that just fucked a highlighter which is truly the only way to describe it.

Ru then announced that this season, the rules will revert to the All Stars 2-through-4 format where the top 2 will lip sync for the win and the right to eliminate one of the the bottom queens. Monique, Cheryl and Jujubee were quickly sent to safety before the judges praised Lemon for opening the show so strongly, though Mel C would have loved for her to serve more face as she looked bored. With the runway, Michelle wished she had just taken things further. Janey received universal praise for her runway though the judges felt her talent was a bit subpar. The judges lived for Baga’s comedy leading to Mel C serving some epic shade against Vicky B’s vocals and Baga’s terrible lip syncing skills. While they were just all super confused by her runway.

They loved everything Jimbo served, particularly for giving the most bizarre and unique talent of all time. And a perfect runway. Then came Pangina, who rightly had the judges living for everything she did from being vulnerable and open, to showing she is SO damn talented. Blu too received all praise, with the judges thrilled by how filthy she is. That being said, they felt her runway didn’t make sense for the theme, though Mel threw shade at Geri which truly does make me feel much betta!

Ultimately Jimbo and Pangina were deemed the top two before Baga and Blu were sent to safety, leaving Lemon and Janey in danger. Backstage Jimbo and Pangina giddily grabbed a drink before the queens gathered around to congratulate them before Pangina thanked Cheryl for not being as annoying as she thought she was on TV. Lol. While Pangina was thrilled to prove herself, Jimbo was just happy to get to clown in front of Ru and have the time of her life. Chez praised Lemon for killing the performance before Lemon opened up about how disappointed she was to land in the bottom, particularly since she was in the bottom in the first episode of her original season. 

While Lemon was heartbroken, Janey was steady and accepted that the competition is so tight that it is truly just nit picking. The dolls split up to plead their case with Jimbo praising Lemon for doing a good job though admitted that she has to hear out Janey and can’t just tell her she is going to save her, even if she wanted to. Pangina and Janey continued to bond and despite Pangina feeling the reveals were quite boring, Janey was confident in the fact she gave something original while Lemon didn’t.

As the rest of the girls jokingly speculated who each winner would send home since the duos were obvious. When Pangina caught up with Lemon, the latter reiterated how much she wants to stay in the competition. Pangina congratulated her for killing her performance and assured her that friendships will not play into her decision making. While Jimbo monologued about her options as poor Janey just desperately tried to get a word in.

After Pangina and Jimbo selected their lipsticks, they made their way to the mainstage to lip sync to Say You Will Be There by the Spice Goils. And damn, Pangina is a star. She hit the lyrics, she gave high energy choreography, comedy and literally saved Jimbo from falling over mid-performance. Multiple times. It was, in a word, amazing. Particularly since Jimbo was hilariously just wandering the stage like a drunk aunt at a wedding, tripping over everywhere. While I lived for Jimbo, it was well and truly clear that Pangina deserved her victory. And while she didn’t want to have to make the decision, heavy is the head that wears the crown and as such, poor Lemon was booted from the competition.

Backstage I reminded Lemon that she is such a damn icon, that when it comes to All Stars it often is better to get eliminated as a robbed-queen before you end up becoming the villain. As such, I tied up my hairwa and pulled her into the kitchen to toast her enduring success – and iconically short run – with a big batch of Lemon Crisps.

While I wouldn’t call Lemon Crisps the most iconic biscuit of the Arnott’s range, they too still have a place in her heart. Packing a zesty punch, these little copycats are the perfect way to work through your sadness and/or eat your feelings.

Enjoy!

Lemon Crisps
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
185g butter, softened
½ cup raw caster sugar
1 egg, at room temperature
½ tsp vanilla essence
2 cups flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 lemon, zested and juiced
1 cup icing sugar

Method
Preheat the oven to 160C.

Cream 125g of the butter with the caster sugar on medium speed, or until light and fluffy. Add the egg and vanilla and mix for a further minute, or until combined. Remove from the stand mixer and fold through the flour, baking powder and lemon zest until a dough forms. Form a rectangular slab, wrap in cling and transfer to the fridge for half an hour.

Once the dough is super chill, get it out and roll into a 5mm rectangular slab. Cut into 10cmx4cm rectangles, prick each rectangle with a fork and transfer them all to a lined baking sheet. Pop the baking sheet/s into the oven and cook for 10-15 minutes, or until lightly browned and crisp. Remove from the oven and transfer to a wire rack to cool.

As they are cooling down, beat the icing sugar and remaining butter until smooth and fluffy. Add the lemon juice and beat until combined, adding extra sugar should it start to split.

Once the biscuits have cooled, pipe the icing on to half the biscuits and use the other half to close. Then devour, ignoring the fact you’re a first boot and remembering you’re an icon.


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Alex Frosty Fruit

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Blood V Water, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor 12 pairs entered the bush to battle it out for the title of Sole Survivor, immediately split up and forced to face off against their loved ones. After losing back to back immunity challenges, Water voted Andy and Briana out of the game, and while the former’s sister Kate took it all in her stride, Briana’s dad David was willing to burn everything to the ground. After winning the reward, David and Khanh ventured to the Survivor Shop together and in addition to comfort items for Dave, managed to find an idol each. Ending their streak, Water won immunity leading to David trying to get Sandra out of the game, and vice versa. Sadly for Sandra, Dave’s paranoia led to him burning any and all bridges within the tribe – most notably, throwing his chief defender under the bus – attracting all the votes his way before playing his idol and sending Kate home.

The next day Ben was looking a treat while fishing in his speedo while Sandra watched on, thrilled to survive the shitshow that was last night’s tribal council. Glad that while David survived, he also painted an epic target on his back and as such would still distract from her. Dave meanwhile realised how big of a fuck-up tribal council was and knew that now was time to win people back. He started off making a joke about feeling like he is waking up after a big night before trying to calmly apologise, while everyone awkwardly watched on. Sam meanwhile admitted to us that she was so annoyed by Dave running his mouth because he had accurately identified her game and as such, she got to work trying to make him look as untrustworthy as possible so that everyone tries to boot him. Again.

Meanwhile over at the Water tribe, Khanh was whipping up a batch of jungle tacos and reminded us of Dave and Khahn’s hat message to tip the other off about their idols. Begging the question, will this actually play out or will Dave do him dirty? Before we ventured to the reward challenge, Khanh reminded us how well connected he is, with Chrissy, Mel, Jordie and Josh all in his alliance, with Mark thrown in for good measure. Mark meanwhile was watching on as Khanh continued to charm anyone and everyone and as such, he realised that he may need to get rid of him sooner rather than later. Mark pulled Shay, KJ and Josh aside to reiterate how nervous they should be about Khanh, though assured them they need to bide their time and make sure that when they do target him, they don’t miss.

And ugh, don’t break up so soon Markhanh!

The tribes arrived to meet Jonathan near a lake with David being a man of his word, showing Khanh that he used his idol the night before. Nina admitted to being shocked her mother survived, while Sandra asked Jonathan to decide whether it was a three ring circus or shit show. Which, lol. Jonathan then explained the reward challenge where one at a time, people would try and cross a ditch to ring a bell while their opponent would do the same. All for a morning tea of croissants, so everyone was PUMPED. Mark and Croc were up first  and immediately wrestled like their lives depended on it before Mark grabbed his rope, rang the bell and scored the first point for his tribe. His wife Sam opted to go next, facing off against Shay with both ignoring each other and sprinting across the ditch to ring their bell as quickly as possible, with Sam narrowly taking out victory.

Josh and Jordan were up next with Jordan rocking a gorgeous speedo and well, I can’t tell you what was happening because like the ditch, my basement was flooded. I mean, the speedo became a g-string at one point before coming off. And while he pulled up his pants before scoring the second point for the Blood tribe, it was still stunning. Nina and Sandra were next to face off with Sandra once again talking smack about her sweet baby girl before they both grappled in the water. While Sandra tried to drag her daughter, Nina continued to power on and ultimately scored a point for her tribe and tied things up. Jesse and Khanh were next to face off, this time for the win, with Jesse slithering on in his gloriously technicolour speedo and narrowly getting to his bell ahead of Khanh. Securing reward for the Blood tribe.

As has become tradition, Jonathan told the Blood tribe they would be able to select one person from the losing tribe to come back to their camp and enjoy the spoils with them. With Ben adorably inviting his partner Shay, while Mark looked bitterly disappointed. Emphasis on bitterly.

Back at camp the tribe were thrilled to find their morning tea, though it seemed all of them somehow forgot to butter croissants. More importantly, Ben and Shay were adorably in love and thrilled to be reunited. With Shay particularly wanting to stick around since their camp had such a nice vibe. She wisely praised everyone as she spoke about how great their loved ones are, while Sam shared she was glad that Mark didn’t get chosen to join them, given she needs him back with his tribe to get as far as possible. As everyone chatted with Shay, Sophie shared with us that she loves to be in control and is aligned with all of Sandra’s alpha males. Which you know is not going to sit well with her.

Ben and Sophie meanwhile caught up, with Sophie telling him that she spoke to Shay and assured her that she is aligned with Ben, Croc and Jordan, presumably so Shay can go back to the other tribe and form a complementary alliance. While Sophie was confident that nobody noticed how close they were as a foursome, Sandra was watching her like a hawk and yeah, Sandra is coming for you Sophie. As Sandra read her for being too showy with her alliances, it became clear that while Dave may be a sitting duck, Sophie may have successfully popped a bigger target on her back.

The tribes once again met up with Jonathan, this time for the immunity challenge, where they would face off releasing a gate and getting a boat before rowing out to a pontoon to collect blocks which they’d then use to solve an arch word puzzle. The tribes were neck and neck releasing their boat with Blood getting out to the slightest of leads. Well, until their boat started to zig-zag and Water overtook them. While the Blood tribe continued to stay in the game, they tried to spell Blood B-O-L-O-D. And then dropped half their arch, giving Water enough time to finish their arch and score immunity. Oh and then Jonathan gagged them with the information that while they are not voting anyone out, they are invited to watch in on their rival’s tribal council.

Back at camp the tribe quickly took stock of their loss while Sophie and Sam were very mindful of the fact they will have an audience. Everyone joked about Dave’s performance at the previous tribal council, asking him if there is anything he would like to say now so they put on a united front. Sophie, Ben, Croc and Jordan got together and quickly locked in their votes for Dave, with Sophie leading the charge to identify who exactly each of them will be voting for. With that Sophie quickly got Sam – who she trusts implicitly – and Jesse on board and everything looked done and dusted.

Dave meanwhile was quietly sitting by the fire, worried about how he’d be able to repair the damage he did last tribal council. He approached Croc to remind him how big of an asset he is in challenges, while Sophie went to Sandra and told her exactly how she would be voting at the upcoming tribal council. Which you know rubbed Sandra the wrong way, given Sophie was way too confident and as such, Sandra decided that now was the time to take her out and most importantly, keep her crown.

With that Sandra went to Michelle and told her that Sophie, Ben, Jordan and Croc all told her to vote for Dave with absolutely no discussion. As such, she decided it was time to get to work flipping the vote on Sophie instead. She quickly pulled Amy in on the plan, who vowed to get Jay, David, Jesse and Sam. Which made Sandra thrilled that Amy going to lock in the votes, meaning she remains under the radar while Amy gets the blame for the move. Amy quickly flipped Jay, who went to deal with Dave while she tried to get Jesse and Sam on board. Neither of whom were easily convinced, given they would be the ones that will get the blame from the alpha alliance. While Jesse did jump on board, Sam was still weary of Dave and as such, was unsure what would be the best for her game.

At tribal council Jonathan threw some shade at Dave for flipping out at the previous tribal council while he quickly tried to downplay things. Amy assured the Water audience that things should be a lot calmer this week before Sophie admitted that things changed last tribal council because Dave showed a side of himself that nobody had seen before. Croc then hilariously pointed out that David somehow managed to blindside himself and yet also saved himself. 

Sophie opted to stop dancing around things, telling David that he is definitely a target tonight and while he makes a great contribution to the tribe, so does everyone else too. Amy spoke about the concern about David blowing up again if he stayed, while Sandra reminded everyone that they should all feel nervous and as such, it is foolish if they don’t fight for themselves every day. Like David did, despite its flaws. 

Jordan spoke about focusing on the game in front of him and as such, Josh doesn’t concern him on the other side and he is currently fighting for his tribe. Sophie downplayed alliances, pointing out they are a united front and lied that factions haven’t formed. While Sandra just smirked. Amy shared that her vote tonight is about keeping the tribe united, which Sandra and Sophie agreed, while Sam spoke about it being a fresh start because the dynamics always change after tribal council.

With that, the tribe voted and while Sophie’s alphas all joined her to get rid of Dave, the rest of the tribe all voted to boot her from the game. Much to her ally’s shock, her sister’s heartache and the delight of those that cast her name. Sadly for them however, they had actually just voted her out of their tribe to be reunited with her sister on the Water tribe. And well, she was SALTY.

The next day Chrissy and Khanh were busy having a laugh while doing some chores while Sophie lay by the fire and slept off her rage. She awoke as Shay was doing some yoga and got to work trying to process the fact she was booted the night before. She opened up to Chrissy and Shay, talking about how Sam’s betrayal hurt more than anything before warning us that she will be getting revenge on her former tribemates’ families. Speaking of family, she was busy bossing her sister around to grab her clothes before KJ disappeared to confide in Chrissy that Sophie’s arrival has her nervous as she now has a target on her back.

And while Chrissy assured her it wouldn’t, she is 100% right to be scared of Sophie overreacting. She joined Nina and Mark in the shelter, telling Nina her mum definitely didn’t mastermind the blindside – she did – while Sam’s betrayal is the only thing that irked her, given they were so closely aligned on the other tribe.

Speaking of the Blood tribe, Jay was offering people a nut while Sandra woke up with a nut on her face. Aka my dream. Talk soon turned to the disappointment of Sophie’s survival, with Sandra speaking for all of us by complaining how annoying it is. Sam opened up about how enraged Sophie was by her betrayal, and vowed to get a message to Mark to guarantee she can’t pretend she is the victim. Sam opened up about the alliance of everyone but Ben, Croc and Jordan, explaining she jumped ship because she needed to destabilise the trio and make them realise they aren’t as safe as they thought they were. The trio meanwhile opted to expand their horizons, catching up with Sandra in the water who encouraged them to make some new relationships because their previous ones are gone and they will follow them out the door if they don’t.

The tribes met up with Jonathan by a lake where Sandra got to relieve a Heroes vs. Villains classic, Sumo at Sea. Aka another one on one challenge, where people battle on a podium to push the other one into the water, last one standing scoring a point for their tribe with the first to three jagging a bloody – sorry, bolody – cheese platter. Complete with CHEESES. First up were Jesse and Mark with Jesse immediately going with pancake pose so Mark couldn’t push him off while swapping some information about their loved ones before Jesse flipped and almost had Mark, who fought back and sent Jesse into the water.

Sophie and Sam were up next, working through their issues with pure, blinding rage. While Sophie brutally smacked Sam to the ground over and over, Sam held her own and eventually pushed Sophie into the water. Jordan and Josh were up next, hopefully to give us another wedgie grudge match with Jordan once again taking out victory, this time without Josh taking off his pants. Jordie and Ben were next to battle with Jordie talking smack before quickly demolishing Ben. 

Closing out the show was once again Nina versus Sandra for the win with Chrissy calmly coaching Nina as the Blood tribe called Sandra mama. It was perfect. Like, Nina joked about getting grounded, while Sandra threatened to not buy her Christmas presents or to pay for her wedding and ugh, I love it. Ultimately Nina scored victory for the Water tribe, before Jonathan announced that they will not be enjoying their reward back at their camp but instead joining the Blood tribe back at their camp. And feasting on cheese in front of them. With Sophie just thrilled to rub their noses in it, which honestly feels like a bad choice when you need their family to save yourself, but go off sis. 

Back at the Blood tribe all the loved ones caught up, hugging and crying and well, it was too pure to watch. Particularly since Sandra and Nina really couldn’t care less, like icons. As the Water tribe gathered around the platter and smashed their food, the Blood tribe looked on wistfully, heartbroken to not be able to eat anything. While Sophe just quietly pouted, giving Sophie deathies while snacking on grapes before she turned her attention to Croc, Ben and Jordan, who were now ignoring her. Not wanting to leave things lying, Sophie confronted Jordan about turning on her – aka making new allies to survive – while Chrissy and KJ quietly looked on, with KJ sharing that watching Sophie is like watching her entire game blow up and there’s nothing she can do about it.

Sophie then went one step further, pulling Sam aside to talk about how hurt she was by her betrayal while blaming Sam for making all her friends ignore her. Which has nothing to do with Sam, but again, go off sis. As such, Sam started catching up with different people on the Water tribe and straight up told them that Sophie is drama and as such, needs to go ASAP.

The tribes reconvened with Jonathan for the latest immunity challenge where each tribe would have to hold on to tethered logs with every time someone drops, the weight adds to everyone else’s with the last tribe standing taking out immunity. After 20 minutes was still hanging on and as such, Jonathan forced everyone to go down to one hand with Jordan, Amy and Michelle all dropping out in quick succession. Croc then dropped, pulled Sandra out with him before Jay also dropped, leaving Jesse, Sam, David and Ben to battle the entire Water tribe. Mel and Nina were first to go for the Water tribe before Jesse, Sam and David dropped, leaving Ben to fight for his entire tribe. Water then started to falter, leaving Khanh, Josh, Sophie and Alex – who’s back was still spasming – to fight it out for Water. Out of nowhere, Josh and Khanh dropped, leaving Sophie and Alex to fight for their tribe before they dropped out of nowhere, with Ben literally scoring immunity for the Blood tribe all by himself.

Back at camp Shay was super proud of Ben’s performance, despite it meaning she would be going to tribal council. Alex meanwhile was proud of himself for powering through the back pain to be one of the last two standing in the challenge. Mark, Jordie, Alex and Khanh were catching up, quickly locking in the vote against Sophie, knowing her sister will be completely understanding of the situation. Khanh took the plan to Chrissy and Josh who were thrilled by how straightforward things will be, while Khanh was particularly keen since it all meant he’d be able to hang on to his idol.

KJ meanwhile was busy watching everyone like a hawk, knowing Sophie is in trouble and as such, caught up with Nina, Alex, Shay, Mark and Jordie in the water to try and get them to give her a chance, given an easy vote will always be an easy vote. Whether it be today or in a week. Knowing that fighting too hard could hurt her, KJ then identified a bigger threat that would be a spicy enough blindside to entice them to keep her around. Namely, Khanh.

Nina was the first to verbalise it, suggesting that maybe they could split the vote between Khanh and someone else to blindside him, all while using Sophie as their distraction. Shay meanwhile offered to be the other half of the split, given she anticipates her idol will be flushed eventually anyway. Chrissy and Sophie soon joined the conversation, with them covering up the new plan and saying the vote will be a split between Sophie and Shay.

With that KJ got to work pretending to be disappointed as she chatted to Khanh about how there are bigger threats around than Sophie and as such, she thinks there could be better option. Despite being assured it is an easy vote, Khanh started to notice everyone chatting but started to get nervous about everyone lying and potentially targeting him instead as the better option. He first caught up with Nina and Mel, before assuring them that he believes them when they say he isn’t the target. He then moved on to Shay, who also wanted to keep him calm to avoid him playing his idol and her having to play hers as well.

At tribal council Shay admitted she was feeling very nervous given there were idols in play and a bunch of tension. Alex once again opened up about his back, talking about how the challenge exacerbated things and he is now starting to struggle with things mentally. Sophie opened up about the fear of being the last one in and as such, the likely first one out, though did admit she was worried how her presence would impact KJ more. KJ agreed that Sophie’s arrival has made her nervous because while she has loved having her around, she is worried that being a pair will make her a target also.

Khanh assured her that their games are so different, that she shouldn’t worry. He then opened up about how great bonding with Amy was at the reward before talking about how paranoid he is about going home tonight given his idol is so public. Everyone looked stressed as he talked, with Shay jumping in to agree that having an idol that everyone knows about does make you feel more paranoid given people have something to focus on. While Jordie countered that playing with the idols is a concern because the margin for error is so small.

As Alex was sent to vote, he started to well up before opening up to the tribe that he doesn’t think he can continue in the game anymore and as such, he wanted the tribe to put aside all their plans and instead vote him out. Mark immediately whispered to the rest of the tribe that he has no planon voting out Alex, while Alex shared how he has tried to downplay how much pain he is in and he doesn’t want anyone to feel bad and instead for them to put him out of his misery. While everyone started to question whether they should give him his wish, Mark and Jordie stood firm with the latter suggesting he should give it just one more day and see how he feels.

Ultimately, Alex listened to his body and sadly doubled down on needing to leave, with Jonathan calling off the vote and letting him quit as Khanh broke down in tears. While Alex sadly gave everyone a hug on his way out the door as Sophie cried, shocked to still be in the game.

When I caught up with Alex at Loser Lodge, I shared how disappointed I was to see him have to pull out. While h’s time on the show was overshadowed by his injury from almost day one, he built enough bonds to keep him in the game when he was at his weakest and as such, if he was 100%, I truly think he would have been unstoppable. But alas, an injury is an injury and as such, I toasted his successed, crossed everything for a future return and gave him an Alex Frosty Fruit for the road.

Say what you will about how simple these little numbers are – aka frozen juice – there is no denying they are delicious. Plus, with Alex’s late breaking exit, there was nothing else I could pull together. But again, delicious.

Enjoy!

Alex Frosty Fruit
Serves: 2 dear friends, each going three a piece.

Ingredients
¾ cup orange juice
¾ cup pineapple juice
½ cup passionfruit juice

Method
Combine all the juices in a jug and stir to combine.

Pour into ice-block moulds and transfer to the freezer to set for 6 hours or so.

Before unmolding and devouring.


As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Dayoyo Bickiettys

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 14, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, seven brand spanking new queens arrived in the Werk Room to start their campaign for the next crown. Feeling inspired by All Stars, Ru tasked the dolls with putting on a cheeky little talent show to help the judges get to know them. While there was the usual mix of lip syncs and dancing, Kerri skipping her way into my heart and Willow Pill’s take on self-help lip sync were stand outs for doing something different. As was Orion, who did comedy and stood out for a tragic lack of jokes. Ultimately, Kornbread slayed lip syncing to her original song and took out the first victory, while June landed in the bottom with Orion for missing the small details on her look. She didn’t miss the details in her lip sync however, slaying the performance and sending a heartbroken Orion – who also killed the lip sync – home.

Backstage the first group were heartbroken to watch Orion leave the competition in tears, while June was just thrilled to show out in front of the judges and able to save herself. While Kornbread, the icon, made jokes about her not knowing how to clean properly as she washed away the mirror message. The dolls sat down to kiki, congratulating Kornbread on her victory before talk turned to the as yet unveiled new group of queens. Bosco admitted that she would be shocked to find anyone as threatening as the queens in their group while June just didn’t want anyone to touch her stuff while they were taking the episode off. Which is relatable.

The next day Jorgeous was the first one to arrive from group two, serving sexy, Latina showgirl come pocket twink out of drag. She was quickly joined by DeJa Skye, a curvy, neon clown and ugh, her charm is so damn infectious. Jasmine Kennedie looks like the biological child of Laganja and Alyssa in drag and is the sweetest nerd out, so you know my basement is flooded. Before anyone else arrived, the dolls noticed that some other queens had clearly already moved in, though thankfully for June, stopped short of touching her aforementioned stuff.

Up next was Maddy Morphosis in a Guy Fieri inspired look which feels right for our first cisgender, straight queen. Not that she was going to be talking about her sexuality any time soon. Angeria Paris Van Michaels immediately won my heart as a mix of Jaida, Ginger Minj and Kennedy Davenport, with the voice of Chi Chi thrown in for good measure and ugh, she is perfect and magnetic and I can’t take it. Lady Camden arrived giving us ‘90s pop realness and given she is originally from the UK, you know she is going to slay. And I live, despite Maddy calling her Old Spice. And ugh, she is going to hook up with Country Spice aka Angeria, and I look forward to that sex tape. Rounding out the cast is Daya Betty serving mullet, rocker queen. And most importantly, she is related to – and sounds exactly like – Crystal Methyd.

The dolls were interrupted by Ru, who arrived to officially welcome them to the competition by way of announcing that someone has already left the competition and that one of the seven of them will be following her tomorrow. But before they could stress about things they were whisked to set for a photoshoot in a giant bowl of tic-tacs. Though not until Ru gave a killer performance of fake-cussing out the crew in the vein of Ellen.

Speaking of crew, DeJa had the pit crew in hysterics as she rolled like a rotisserie chicken. Angeria meanwhile sexed it up and snacked her way through the shoot. Jorgeous was silly and charming – and ready to bottom – Jasmine looked like she was in a hair commercial and Maddy was rained on by tic tacs before finding a buried hat. Allegedly belonging to Santino. Daya was camp, ridiculous and a little possessed while Camden literally had tic tacs in every possible orifice. Ultimately though, it was Angeria who took out a very well deserved first victory.

Before bidding them adieu, Ru announced that they too would be competing in the Charisma Nerve and Talent Show as they giddily split up to claim a station. Daya was shocked by Angeria out of drag while Jorgeous thought DeJa could pass as one of her tios while Camden was gagged to still be pulling more tic tacs out of her varied holes. Maddy meanwhile looked like a farmer, delighting all the dolls. Daya asked everyone about whether they are gold star gays with Daya admitting to knowing about how Maddy identifies like a shady icon.

Ru returned to pow-wow with the dolls with Angeria admitting her name comes from her college girlfriend and sharing that her talent would be performing an original song. Daya delighted Ru with the knowledge her drag name comes from the fact she is diabetic. More importantly, she will be lip syncing to Pink and well, that makes her entry look make so much more sense. Despite Ru not loving the fact it won’t tell the judges anything about her. Camden meanwhile will be performing ballet on the mainstage despite the fact Ru finds it boring. DeJa will be teaching people how to cheer but assured us that she will make it funny, which generally means it won’t land with the judges. Maddy was next to drop by to chat to Ru, admitting that she would be playing guitar for her talent before the other queens were gagged when Ru outed Maddy as straight.

¡ Escándalo !

Elimination Day arrived with Camden already shitting bricks at the thought of Ru watching her. DeJa asked the dolls how long it takes to beat their mugs, with Maddy admitting that it usually takes her three hours but in a pinch, she can do it in 90 minutes. Despite her fears that the other queens might not be as welcoming because she is straight, Maddy was thrilled to be embraced by her new sisters who were thrilled to have a straight cis male in the competition. Maddy meanwhile just wanted to show that people can do whatever it is they want and people should follow their passions despite how society may perceive it and ugh, I love Maddy.

Oh and then Alicia mother tucking Keys popped up in the revenge of the queens mirror to give them some love and encouragement before they took the stage like a proud mama.

With that Alicia joined Ru, Michelle and Carson on the judges table as Jorgeous kicked off the pageant with a lip sync / dance where she hit every damn line as she split and flipped all over the stage. Jasmine followed by slaying an equally tight dance as she humped the floor and kicked to the sky before doing a backflip IN HEELS. Daya Betty then did a Pink lip sync and while I loved the nesting top hats and confetti, it just felt a bit basic. Plus, Pink. Camden meanwhile served Centre Stage realness, complete with camp comedy and ugh, I loved it. I mean, she incorporated the Macarena into ballet. What’s not to love? DeJa meanwhile was a bit awks, though like Orion last week, I admire her going for something different.

Maddy meanwhile gave moody guitar blues complete with a Lady Gaga in House of Gucci look and I loved it. She was followed by Angeria and her total bop, complete with costume AND wig reveals, popping and locking and straight up having the entire crowd singing along with her original song. 

On the Sickening Signature Drag runway Jorgeous was stunning in a shimmering purple gown come stoned bodysuit. DeJa was a Southern bombshell in a figure hugging lace number. Jasmine was a vision in the gold version of THE J Lo dress. Maddy slayed as Marie Antoinette, post guillotine. Angeria meanwhile was perfect in a shiraz coloured gown that fit like she was poured into it. Camden was an iridescent peacock while Daya was laced into her scrap dress which sadly was starting to come apart at the seams.

The judges lived for everything Jorgeous served this week from perfect looks to her killer, energetic performance. DeJa received praise for her look though was rightly read for missing that big swing that was her talent. Jasmine on the flipside also received universal praise for everything she served this week before Maddy was praised for giving the biggest gag on the runway. Despite Michelle advising her to work on the make-up. Oh and they loved the guitar though felt it could have been more. Angeria was universally beloved for everything she gave this week, breaking down to get such high praise for her song from Alicia Keys. Camden got perfect scores for being polished, camp and letting the judges know EXACTLY who she is. While the judges felt that Daya didn’t show enough of herself in the talent show.

Backstage Maddy was thrilled to be the second Arkansas queen in the series and to kill the first runway. Angeria meanwhile was excited to have killed the first challenge AND runway, while Daya knew that she could be in trouble. Camden on the other hand was just ready to kiki with her sisters.

Daya opened up about how proud of herself she is, despite the outfit falling apart and the judges not really knowing who she is. The dolls rallied around and reminded her how great she looks and to not take it to heart. Maddy too was nervous about potentially lip syncing, while Angeria wished that she could see just how great she is. Plus, they all lived for her runway. Jorgeous meanwhile was feeling her oats, so thrilled that the judges were living for her. DeJa on the flipside was happy with her runway, though was very disappointed about how her talent show went. As she broke down, Camden stepped in, encouraging her to have expectations for herself by all means, but not let them make her be hard on herself.

Which is just perfect life advice, no?

Camden opened up about realising that she needed to show who she was rather than giving a perfect ballet performance. Angeria cautioned her that she needs to let her walls down so that people can fall in love with who she is as well as for being a sickening performer. Things took a very deep turn as Camden opened up about how much she struggled to embrace herself, with Daya reminding her that her younger self would be so proud of how talented she is. Jasmine then broke down over how empowering it is to come into your power when you come out as the girls bonded over their journeys to self-acceptance.

Maddy acknowledged that she obviously has lived a different experience and admitted that while she felt she was a good ally growing up, doing drag opened her eyes up to how difficult it can be. Maddy then shared that pride is such a great way for queer kids to learn all the varied ways you can live your life, while growing up straight you don’t get to see any other options of how to be. She shared that she hopes to show people that you can step out of your comfort zone and do things that aren’t stereotypically straight. Though also cautioned that not all straight people should be doing drag because it isn’t just silly fun with your friends and you need to have a passion for the art form and to support the community that is welcoming you.

Ultimately Jorgeous and Camden were sent to safety before Angeria took out a very well earned victory. After Jasmine was sent to safety, Maddy narrowly avoided the bottom as DeJa and Daya were tasked with lip syncing for their lives to Fallin’ by Alicia Keys. Both the dolls immediately snapped into the emotion of the song, hitting every lyric and giving it their all. Sadly for Daya’s nip slips – which I’m always a fan of – DeJa was mixing up her performance with drama and physical comedy which was enough to save herself, making Daya the other First Boot of the season.

Obviously Daya was disappointed to not live up to the standards of the Haus of Methyd in the competition, her sweetness shone through and she was glad to be able to show a little bit of herself in the brief time she had. I pulled her into my arms, gave her the usual pep talk and reminded her that she is a star and I know she is destined for greatness. And I truly believe she will make the most of any and all opportunities that are thrown her way into the future. With that out of the way, all I could really do to support was serve up a batch of Dayoyo Bickiettys and call it a day.

Not to be confused with an equally iconic Melting Moment, yo-yos are a little less prim and proper in their construction but by no means are they lacking in flavour. While Christina Tosi rightly describes milk powder as the MSG of baking, I would argue that custard powder has a similar effect. Smooth, rich and delicious, these are a perfect way to work through post-boot pain.

Enjoy!

Dayoyo Bickiettys
Serves: 6-10.

Ingredients
Biscuits
185g salted butter, at room temperature
⅓ cup icing sugar
1 ½ cups flour
⅓ cup custard powder
Frosting
½ cup icing sugar
2 tbsp salted butter, at room temperature
1 tbsp custard powder
1 tsp vanilla essence

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

To make the biscuits – or bikkies if you’re trying to get more Australian slang in your life for 2022 – cream the butter and icing sugar together in a stand mixer for a couple of minutes, or until light and fluffy.

As an aside, I use salted butter with these because it cuts through the sweetness nicely, but you do you boo.

Sift in the flour and custard powder into the bowl and fold until just combined. Form into large macadamia nut sized balls and place on a lined baking sheet, gently flattening with the back of a fork. Transfer to the oven and bake for about fifteen minutes, or until lightly golden. Remove from the oven and place on a rack until cooled completely.

To assemble, cream all the frosting ingredients together until smooth and fluffy. Dollop a teaspoon or so on the base of a bikkie and close with another to form a little yo-yo. Repeat the process until you’re all done.

Then, obvi, devour.


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Danny MousseCrayke

Baking, Cake, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 41, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor, Jeffrey opted to offer up one final, major twist to the game where the first person eliminated from the immunity challenge would have their fate decided by a game of chance. Should they win, they are also immune but should they lose, they are eliminated and tribal council is cancelled. After Liana and Heather nope’d out of the challenge, Deshawn was the first to drop out and prepared to have his game left to chance before Danny took out immunity. Back at camp the tribe tried to come up with a plan B, which obviously was Liana, despite Deshawn and Danny making a compelling case to take out Ricard instead. Ultimately, Deshawn got lucky and stayed in the game before the majority held firm and booted Liana from the game in an emotional tribal council.

Back at camp Danny and Deshawn were reeling from tribal council, with the latter shocked by how emotional things were and how hard it was to send Liana home. Deshawn assured the tribe that he was ok but needed to talk to Danny to debrief and talk through their experiences. Danny then went to visit Xander, shocked by the fact Xander opted to get rid of Liana over Ricard, the far bigger threat. While Xander explained that Ricard is a shield for him, he agreed with Danny that getting rid of Ricard is now the priority given the protection isn’t needed anymore.

Which means Ricard is totally winning immunity, right?

The next day Heather caught up with Deshawn to talk about tribal council, grateful that she has had the chance to learn from him and grow. He explained that getting rid of Shan didn’t hurt him as much as voting out Liana, because they didn’t have the best relationship but explained to her that while race and culture shouldn’t come into things, his experience permeates everything whether he likes it or not and that is why getting rid of Liana was so hard. 

Deshawn then caught up with Erika, with her too telling him how proud she is of his ability to explain his feelings to the tribe, particularly because she too has the same concerns about herself playing the game for herself while representing a culture. She opened up about how she felt like voting out Liana runs contrary to her wanting a female – ideally herself – to win after such a long drought, though sometimes in the game you have to make decisions against what you want, to further your game. And it is tough.

The tribe caught up with my love Jeffrey for a reward challenge where they would split into two teams, climb up a net, jump off a pontoon, collect balls and then land said balls in a basket. And the victorious team can either pick a chicken and veggie feast or desserts, which Deshawn was disappointed about because he would have preferred a letter from home. Danny got his team – with Ricard and Heather – out to the earliest of leads which was quickly lost as Xander powered through the water. Both teams were neck and neck throughout the swimming portion before Deshawn landed the first basket for his team. After struggling with shooting, Danny traded out with Ricard who quickly landed his first basket. Sadly for him, Deshawn then quickly landed his second and third baskets, handing them victory and a, dun dun DUN, chicken and veggie feast.

And no letters from home.

Upon returning to camp they quickly smashed their food before talk turned to alliances, with Deshawn gladly offering himself up as a number. Erika and Xander admitted that they would love to get rid of Ricard next and as such, they would love to work with him. Which quickly escalated to them floating the idea about going to the final three together. Meanwhile the losers were hiding out in the shelter until Heather and Ricard left to do some chores, leaving Danny behind to search for Shan’s rehidden idol. Sadly for him, they returned to camp soon after and his absence made both of them nervous that he had, in fact, found an idol. 

The next day Deshawn and Erika were catching up by the well with Deshawn assuring her that he would truly like to go to the end together. Particularly since her going with Heather risks people not being able to distinguish their games and lessening their chances of winning. Which he pressured her to talk about, all to get Erika to verbalise the need to get rid of Heather.

The tribe reunited with Probst for the immunity challenge where they would need to navigate an obstacle course – while dizzy – to collect puzzle pieces before using said pieces to solve a word puzzle. Danny got out to the earliest of leads, though they all managed to catch up at a balance beam. Which Ricard made quick work of. While Ricard got to work on his puzzle early, the rest of the tribe soon joined him. Deshawn and Ricard both figured out the phrase at the same time, leading to a rush of activity as they battled to assemble it first, ultimately ending with Ricard winning his third immunity of the season.

As predicted, FYI.

Back at camp the tribe quickly split up to work on their plans while Danny and Deshawn discussed how stupid everyone was to vote out Liana over Ricard at the last tribal council. Danny next caught up with Ricard who confronted him about potentially finding the idol, with Danny denying he had one, though did share with us how happy he was to at least make them nervous. Xander meanwhile was catching up with Heather, suggesting that keeping Danny would be their best chance at beating Ricard at an immunity challenge and as such, they should think about keeping him a few more days.

Heather then caught up with Erika, with the latter pushing to get rid of Danny over Deshawn, given he is willing to work with her while Danny is not. As such, she got to work trying to convince the rest of her alliance that keeping Deshawn is in all of their best interests. She first caught up with Ricard, who sadly knew that was a bad idea for his game. Meanwhile Deshawn was trying to take control of his fate, pulling Xander and Heather aside to highlight their bonds and the fact that he would take them to the end while Danny probably wouldn’t and as such, it is in their best interests to keep him around.

At tribal council Deshawn was still smiling despite the fact it is clearly him or Deshawn going home tonight. Ricard meanwhile shared that he had a great day with Deshawn, though would still gladly vote him out tonight. Particularly since they both targeted him at the last tribal council. They both explained that they tried to take the shot when they had it, given he had been dominating the challenges and pointed to his victory as their proof. Erika stepped in to talk about the fact they all decide what is threatening to their game and that that is different for each of them. She trusts Ricard while Liana had previously voted for her and as such, she got rid of her.

Xander admitted that jury management is now also playing a part of their decision making while Danny and Deshawn were both just proud of their games thus far. Deshawn then decided to  cause some chaos, outing his conversation with Erika at the well about her getting rid of Heather. Eventually. Hilariously Ricard stepped in and told him that his truth bomb was kind of a terrible idea, given the fact he doesn’t even know if he is going home tonight and may have just cost him a chance of working with Erika in the end. Erika too questioned his timing, given that while they have had an up and down relationship, she has always been willing to work with him and the only thing his outburst did was confirm to her that she can’t trust Deshawn.

With that the tribe voted and as predicted, things were tied up between Danny and Deshawn, who each voted for the other. With that, Ricard, Heather, Erika and Xander re-voted and despite Deshawn’s messiness, unanimously sent Danny from the game.

Given Danny is such an upbeat, kind person, he was pretty chill by the time he arrived at Ponderosa, ok at being outplayed and ready to relax. While he was disappointed to be out of the game and for his alliance to be apparently going out back-to-back-to-back, he was proud of the way he played. Though I also think he was just eyeing off his Danny MousseCrayke, so who wouldn’t be feeling happy?

Velvety smooth mousse, perfectly poached pears and a light, spongy cake work together in harmony to deliver a cake that is as fluffy as it is decadent and rich.

Enjoy!

Danny MousseCrayke
Serves: 12

Ingredients
6 eggs, 3 of them split
285g raw caster sugar
75g plain flour
20g cacao powder
pinch of salt
30g unsalted butter, melted
3 pears, peeled, cored and cut into 1 cm slices
2 tbsp lemon juice
100ml spiced rum, plus 1 tbsp for the mousse
400g dark chocolate, roughly chopped
200ml milk
3 egg yolks
500ml cream, lightly whipped

Method
Preheat the oven to 200˚C and grease and line a 26cm spring-form cake tin.

Start by creaming the three whole eggs and 120g of the raw caster sugar in an electric mixer until light and fluffy. Sift the flour, cocoa powder and salt together in a large bowl. Add to the egg mixture with the melted butter and fold until just combined. 

Spoon the batter into the prepared tin and transfer to the oven to bake for 20 minutes, or until springy and an inserted skewer comes out clean. Remove from the oven and transfer to a wire rack to cool completely. Once cooled, line the tin again and return the cake.

While the cake is getting chill, combine the lemon juice, rum, 110g of the sugar and ½ a cup of water in a saucepan and bring to a simmer. Once the sugar is dissolved, add the pears and simmer for 10 minutes until tender. Drain the pears and leave the slices to cool, keeping the poaching liquid aside for serving.

Finally, combine the chocolate and milk in a heatproof bowl and cook in a double boiler, stirring minimally, until the chocolate is velvety and smooth. Remove from heat and allow to cool for a few minutes. While it is chilling, cream the yolks, remaining sugar and tablespoon of rum for 5 minutes until light and fluffy. Add the chocolate mixture and mix until just combined. Before folding in the whipped cream until it is, you guessed it, just combined.

To assemble, layer the pears on top of the cake, followed by the mousse, smoothing the top with the back of a spoon. Transfer to the fridge to set for 6 hours, or ideally overnight, until set.

Then, finally, slice, serve, drizzle with poaching liquid and devour. Gloriously.


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Blueberry and Krystalemon Versacheesecake

Baking, Cake, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK 3, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race 12 iconic queens arrived in the UK Werk Room, ready to fight for the crown. While tragically they were felled one by one starting with Anubis – yep, this old chestnut (not roasting on an open fire) – followed by Elektra, Victoria, Veronica, Charity, River, Choriza, Scarlett and Vanity, leaving Ella, Kitty and Krystal to make it to the finale. After writing verses on Ru’s Christmas song, chatting with Ru and Michelle and performing the song live on stage, the top three lip synced for the crown with Kitty and Ella deemed co-runner-ups to the iconic Krystal Versace.

The youngest winner in franchise herstory.

Krystal came into the competition ready to absolutely dominate the game. After winning the first challenge which leaned heavily into her fashion strengths, she continued to surprise herself as she slayed everything thrown at her.

More importantly, she showed the world how sweet and focused she is and that sometimes, nice gals finish first. As such, I was thrilled to witness her coronation, which is guaranteed to be just the start of a very bright future.

Fresh off the stage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and reiterated how proud she is. Given she is young enough to be my child – if it was a very young-teenage pregnancy – I quickly pivoted to asking her if she was looking after herself, the other queens were being nice to her and whether she had done her homework.

The last one being eerily poetic, given the clearly came into the competition with a solid understanding of what needed to be done. Meaning the least I could do was celebrate her success with a beautiful Blueberry and Krystalemon Versacheesecake.

Super sweet, a little bit tarty and packing a surprisingly delicate, floral centre, there is no better way to honour our newly crowned queen. Or celebrate a special occasion. Or, you know, just have a really fucking delicious cake.

Enjoy!

Blueberry and Krystalemon Versacheesecake
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
200g Ginger Nut biscuits, blitzed into a rough sand texture
100g butter, melted 
750g cream cheese, softened 
½ cup raw caster sugar 
1 tbsp gelatine
¼ cup boiling water 
1½ cups thickened cream
250g blueberries
½ cup Lemon Kurd Cobain
20g edible flowers

Method
Combine the biscuits and butter in a bowl until they are coming together, and press into a 24cm springform pan to form a smooth base. Transfer to the fridge to set.

Meanwhile, beat the cream cheese and sugar together in the bowl of a stand mixer until smooth and combined. Dissolve the gelatine in the boiling water before adding to the mixture with the thickened cream, and beat for a further couple of minutes or until velvet and smooth.

Remove the filling from the mixer and fold through the blueberries.

To assemble, scatter some flowers on the base, followed by a couple of dollops of the mixture. Dollop in some of the curd and swirl through with the tip of the knife. Top with the rest of the filling, a few more dollops of curd and repeat the swirling process. Top with flowers and place in the fridge to set for a couple of hours, or ideally, overnight.

You could also do the flowers last to avoid wilting, but I prefer them set into the cake despite not looking as great.

Once set, remove from the tin and devour, greedily and most importantly, victoriously.


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Haloumi and Zuckitty Scott-Clauzza

Main, Pizza, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK 3, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race UK the top four were tasked with roasting themselves, the panel and their eliminated sisters for a decidedly heavenly roast. Kitty was her usual brand of funny and charming, however it was once again Ella that completely dominated. From dad jokes to her hilariously dragging anyone in sight, she well and truly earned her fourth victory on her way to the finale. At the other end of the pack, Vanity was read for playing it too safe with her jokes,  while Krystal landed in the bottom for her heavy reliance on age jokes. After the duo lip synced however, the assassin was felled as Krystal went through to the finale and Vanity sashayed away.

Backstage the dolls were jubilant to make it to the end, though quickly took pause to toast their fallen sister Vanity. Kitty joked that there is normally a dog in the top three, though was glad that this one only had a bunch of babes. Though did admit that if she can’t spot the ugly queen, maybe it was in fact her. Ella was still on cloud nine about her victory, talking about how great it was to see their sisters and hoping none of them were offended by being dragged. Which was obviously the point that they were all brought in, praising Ella for killing the hell out of the roast. Vanity was accepting of being eliminated, while Krystal agreed she deserved to be in the bottom alongside her, with Elektra shadily agreeing out loud rather than in her head. Choriza rounded out the visit by giving the final three a pep talk for the finale ahead while Kitty just wanted the meet and greet girls to exit so they could celebrate and get their heads in the game.

The next day the queens were feeling festive as fuck to be not only be in the finals but also because Ru popped up some Christmas trees. Ella quickly pointed out that she has the same amount of badges as the other two combined, while Kitty was just thrilled to have proof that her years of hard work are worth it. Ru interrupted their chat to drop by and announce that for this year’s finale, the dolls would be writing their own verse on her holiday hit, Hey Sis, It’s Christmas. And then, you know, perform it live on the mainstage, after a quick Q&A with her and Michelle.

They quickly split up to write their lyrics, with Kitty nervous about how to stand out while Ella wanted to write a bop. And Krystal simply wanted to do better than the Girl Group challenge. After spilling some sample lyrics, Kitty dropped by to catch up with Ru and Michelle, talking about her passion for Christmas and her level of comfort on the stage. She opened up about her time at musical theatre school and how she practised sewing before joining the competition and always tries to keep things positive. And how supportive her sweet family are.

Ella was up next, opening up about how gagged she is to have dominated the competition. Ru asked whether Ella was just a failed actor that came to drag – way harsh, Tai – with her opening up about doing it to re-energise her career and that she initially kept drag separate from the theatre crowd, so that she would be taken seriously in both worlds. She spoke about how she learnt to love herself, got all loved up and reiterated the fact she was so shocked to make it to the end. Krystal meanwhile had Ru and Michelle laughing from the start, joking and giving off a very relaxed vibe. She mocked her name, spoke about her inspirations and how proud her family are. Talk turned to her virginity with Krystal admitting that she would prefer to be doing up a wig than doing a man. Or well, going on a date. Oh and she was fired up for the win.

The dolls then joined Jay Revell to learn the choreography for their final performance with Kitty overwhelmed by how damn hot he is. Which in a word, is relatable. Krystal was up first, wanting to throw in a lot of tricks and flicks to sell herself. Kitty meanwhile was fun and full of pointing, while Ella was the perfect combination of the two – sexy but also pointy. After they were all chill and calm about their verses, Jay told them their group moments are hard as hell and well, poor Krystal arrived at struggle street. As the musical theatre queens quickly picked up the choreo, poor Krystal lagged behind while Kitty knew it was all a ruse as she will definitely slay it, because that is what Krystal does.

Coronation Day finally arrived with Krystal asking them about first impressions, with Ella admitting she was gagged, not about how stunning Krystal’s looks were, but more importantly, that she was also super kind. Kitty meanwhile was nervous upon seeing Ella, praising her for being as handsome as Gaston in drag. While both the dolls were thrilled to have met Kitty and her infectious energy. Kitty then opened up about how great it was to meet Baby Spice, while Ella’s highlight was winning Snatch Game. Which Kitty admitted she was gagged about, given she thought she would win or it would at least be a double. Krystal meanwhile was proud about how she constantly surprised herself.

And then Ella and Kitty did a spot on Veronica Green impersonation. Which means nothing really, but was important to me.

Ru, Michelle, Graham and Alan lined up on the panel for the debut performance of Hey Sis, It’s Christmas! and frankly, Ella’s verse was absolute fire and she sold the hell out of it to boot. Kitty was demented and delightful, as per usual, while Krystal came out all guns blazing. The rest of the queens then joined the performance and things got wild and well, ugh, I just love the dolls.

On the Final Three Eleganza Extravaganza Runway, Ella was a vision in a stunning purple gown, complete with a big old wig to make Michelle happy. She was sparkly, confident and ready to complete it with a crown. Kitty straight up looked like a Southern belle who became a princess, feeling her oats and looking a frosted delight. Krystal meanwhile was perfection in a black velvet mermaid gown, standing out in all the right ways.

Ella received universal praise for her verse, opening herself up and nailing the hell out of the challenge. The judges loved her look, though Graham did question the choice of shoe. Though they all agreed that she dominated the competition and was the one that they could all rely on. Kitty was praised for her magnetism and her demented lyrics in the song before the judges shared how much they loved her look. Alan then likened her to a labrador, with everyone loving her energy from the start and then they learnt she is talented to boot. The judges loved how Krystal challenged herself in the final number, thrilled to see her polish her skills and emerge as an even brighter star. Oh and they lived for her dark and moody final runway.

Ella was first to talk to young Nicholas, reminding him that he is beautiful and perfect and begged him to embrace who he is and silencing all the names and slurs that are thrown his way. Kitty wanted young Lewis to remember how lucky he is and to never take anything for granted. She then suggested he stay happy and kind and most importantly, to wear supportive underwear. Krystal told young Luke – well, younger – to embrace all the love he has around him and to be kind and patient while waiting for people to come around. Oh and to ease up on fillers as a teenager.

Ella shared that she should be the next UK Drag Superstar, admitting that she has all the talent and has thrown everything out there to get the win. Finishing simply by reminding them that she is the best, and they should pick her. Kitty felt that she should win because she is the embodiment of UK drag, with a little camp and a big pair of knockers. Krystal meanwhile wanted to inspire the next generation of drag to try hard and let kids know they can do whatever it is they want.

Backstage the dolls caught up with their eliminated sisters with Elektra thrilled they all got a chance to perform together one last time. Choriza was proud of everyone, while Victoria was shady about Ella finally stepping out of the chorus. Ella meanwhile was proud to dominate, though Kitty suggested it won’t matter in the end. Anubis meanwhile looked stunning as she praised them for a great season, while River joked that the double elimination was the best lip sync. Oh and we learnt that Elektra wasn’t allowed to jump off the stage when she did, while Scarlett joked about not wanting to talk about her walk off.

After the eliminated queens walked the runway, the top three were tasked with lip syncing for the crown to Dusty Springfield’s You Don’t Own Me. Everyone played to their strengths from the start, Kitty was charming as hell and giving all the comedy, Ella was moody and leant into her acting chops while Krystal threw everything at the wall. It was stunning, it was emotional and most importantly, they were stupid and fired up. Tragically though, there can only be one winner and that was young Krystal.

While she was busy getting her crown fitted, I pulled Kitty to the side to toast her killer run and infectious personality. As Kitty said, she truly is the embodiment of UK drag, camp, bawdy and so damn fun, which to me, well and truly earns a victorious Haloumi and Zuckitty Scott-Clauzza!

I know, I know – zucchini isn’t the most exciting vegetable (or is it a fruit?) option in the world, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have a place. Like say, this one! Thin strips of juicy goodness work perfectly with the salty haloumi to create a perfect new pizza combination.

Enjoy!

Haloumi and Zuckitty Scott-Clauzza
Serves: 1 iconic queen and her equally iconic bestie.

Ingredients
2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
⅓ cup Toni Basil Pesto
400g haloumi, sliced
2 zucchinis, thinly sliced lengthways
5 garlic cloves, thinly sliced
½ cup cherry tomatoes, halved
cheddar and mozzarella, to taste

Method
Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions.

Preheat the oven to 180°C.

Smear the bases with pesto. Layer with haloumi and zucchini, followed by a dotting of garlic and the cherry tomatoes, then a generous helping of the cheeses.

Transfer to the oven and bake for fifteen minutes, or until bubbly and golden.

Devour, careful not to burn yourself on the molten hot cheese.


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Shuntel Smaith

Main, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 41, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Jeff decided that this season of, dropping the 4 keeping the 1 hadn’t thrown quite enough twists and turns at the castaways, so opted to do a split tribal council gig. As such, the tribe was halved with Erika and Xander winning immunity from their respective groups before each group went to separate beaches to scramble. Over at Team Erika, Shan and Ricard pushed for Heather and Naseer to be booted respectively, further causing tension between them as Shan wanted Naseer to stay since they were close. After Ricard got his way, the other group rolled into tribal council and upon seeing Naseer on the jury bench, Deshawn and Danny opted against turning on their alliance and the group banded together to boot Evvie from the game.

The two groups came together back at camp where Danny immediately questioned why the other group booted Naseer, while the rest of them in turn barely batted an eyelid at Evvie’s departure. Ricard quickly got on to telling the story of Naseer’s downfall, masterfully talking about how he pushed Shan to use her extra vote – that to me, seemed like it was needlessly – to ensure he got some credit for the move. Erika meanwhile knew that Shan is the biggest threat and everyone was simply too scared to make a move against her. With that, Erika pulled Deshawn aside and quickly pointed out that Shan is a bigger threat than Xander and as such, they need to take her out before it is too late while nobody views Xander as a viable ally, so they can get him whenever.

Oh, but Shan saw them walk off together so you know it isn’t coming together.

The next morning a paranoid Shan pulled Deshawn aside to find out what went down between them, with her learning from their past dealings and assuring him that they need to do what is best for their individual games as well as their alliance. Talk turned to the fact that they feel like they are playing for more than themselves, wanting to help lift the culture after the continued trauma and tragedy of 2020 (and the centuries before that). This bonding made Deshawn start to question whether he could actually turn on Shan yet, though both agreed that they still have a long way to go to repair their trust.

The tribe joined Jeffrey for this week’s reward challenge where they would each race through a series of obstacles while tethered to a rope before, you know it, solving a puzzle. For an overnight pizza retreat, which sounds glorious TBH. Xander and Liana got out to the earliest of leads with Ricard nipping at their heels. Ricard overtook Xander while the rest of the tribe quickly closed the gap. Ricard, Liana, Deshawn and Danny all made it to the puzzle together, with the rest of the tribe eventually joining them. While Deshawn looked to be well out in front, Ricard quietly powered ahead and narrowly took out another victory.

As is oft the case, Jeff let Ricard pick someone to join him, ultimately going with his Ua tribemate Shan. Jeff obviously made him pick another person, opting for Heather who had never been on a reward and then Xander for giving up a couple of rewards, when Jeff gagged him with a third and final slot.

The losers returned to camp where Danny was looking to make a move. He went for a walk with Deshawn, suggesting that Ricard needs to be the next one out. Deshawn suggested that things would be difficult to get him out at the next tribal, though agreed it would be a good way to neutralise Shan. With that they approached Liana who identified Shan and Erika as bigger threats before realising they wanted to get rid of Ricard and immediately saw the value of getting him out too.

Meanwhile at the Survivor pizza hut, Ricard was thrilled to make meaningful connections with everyone and glad to bring Shan some joy. Shan and Ricard got real about the fact they will eventually need to turn on each other with Shan admitting she wants a woman to win while Ricard knows people like her more and as such would give her the win over him, meaning they will never get to the end together.

The next day Liana and Shan caught up with Shan, again, pointing out that she can’t trust Deshawn, as Liana grappled with going behind her back to get rid of Ricard. She eventually broke down and told Shan everything, who in turn took the information to Ricard to turn the vote against Deshawn instead. Ricard meanwhile said that it was a lot to take in and despite the fact Shan clearly had his back, he admitted that he was shocked that she wanted to let him know.

The tribe joined Jeffrey again for one of my favourite challenges in the back catalogue, where they all have to stand on a beam, hold a long hard pole and keep a ball balanced on a disc. Sadly in this new no 4, keep the 1 era, Probst did far less smutty innuendo, though. Barely minutes into the challenge, Liana became the first to go followed by Danny. After everyone transitioned to a smaller section of the beam, Erika dropped instantly followed by Heather thanks to Shan’s repeated, masterful saves. Well until they transitioned to the narrowest section of beam when she dropped instantly. Shan was followed by Deshawn – much to her delight – before Xander dropped out of nowhere, handing Ricard his second immunity of the season.

Back at camp Shan was nervous about making a move against Deshawn too early and spooking everyone. Shan rallied her allies and Ricard to lock in the vote on Erika, though Ricard did try to scare Xander into burning his idol, just in case. Ricard meanwhile was still nervous, knowing that Shan’s alliance is ready to get rid of him when it comes time to do it, Shan will gladly get rid of him. As such, he decided now was the time to get rid of Shan instead to guarantee her alliance splinters before getting the chance to take a shot at him.

Ricard then approached Heather and Xander, assuring Xander that the other alliance doesn’t want to vote him out and that he should hang on to his idol for another day. Obviously this didn’t make Xander feel reassured, until Ricard suggested that he, Xander, Heather and Erika band together to get rid of Shan instead with the help of one other. As such, Ricard approached Deshawn to let him know that Shan told him everything about their previous plan and while Ricard wasn’t thrilled about it, he suggested they work together to target Shan instead.

He then returned to Heather and Erika, with Erika nervous about being the collateral damage should Shan get nervous and play her idol. She then suggested that she and Heather could talk to Danny and see if he’d be interested in flipping on Shan too so that they can at least split the vote between Shan and Liana to maintain a level of control. As such, Erika quickly pulled in Danny, who in turn grew nervous about Erika given she is clearly threatening, making him unsure which side to vote with heading in to tribal.

At tribal council Xander spoke about how out of touch he is within the tribe, completely unsure what is happening. Heather meanwhile shared that she is clearly on the bottom of the tribe, with Erika agreeing that she is in the bottom but was ready to make a move. Whether it be being approached to help a move or making her own. Shan reiterated the importance of relationships to keep powering ahead while Ricard shared that he and Shan have been honest about the fact that they are together, though both accept that they will have to turn on each other eventually.

Deshawn and Danny spoke about people having misguided faith in their alliances while Erika pointed out that her vote is just as powerful as anyone else’s and as such, she can be used as a number. Shan admitted that statement is nerve wracking, despite having worked with Erika in the past. Ricard pointed out that everyone’s paranoia is what actually makes them feel on the bottom while Liana summed it up by saying that everyone has a perception of what is going on though the fact is, one of them is wrong.

With that the tribe voted and we learnt that she and Shan were the ones that perceptions were wrong as the rest of the tribe split the vote between them, with their lonely two going to Erika. As such, the tribe revoted between Shan and Liana, with Shan ultimately blindsided from the game with an idol still in her pocket. Though not before she congratulated Ricard on the way out the door, assuring him that he has her vote. Which, you know, paints a target on his back. Oh and she called Deshawn a snake while lonely Xander sat there smiling, somehow still with an idol in his pocket.

As Shan arrived at Ponderosa, she was still coming down from the excitement of her blindside. Not yet angry or disappointed, so the perfect time to catch up and lavish her with praise for absolutely dominating the game. Which is exactly why she was taken out, because she was too threatening and, frankly, her scalp was perfect on a resume. After reiterating that to her – and reminding her that there is no Edge of Extinction for her to make a return – we laughed, we cried and toasted her success with a hearty batch of Shuntel Smaith.

I feel like I say it all the time, but I love a good dump. If you told me I could only live off one food for the rest of my life, I would pivot from burgers to them as soon as I realised these are the healthiest options. And these little shu-ies – tweaked from the Woks of Life recipe – would be high on my list – sweet, salty and lightly spiced, they warm your soul and, to channel Dr Seuss, may you feel nice(d).

Enjoy!

Shuntel Smaith
Serves: 1 hungry castoff and her cheerleader, or 4-6 people dependent on greed.

Ingredients
300g pork mince
1 ½ tsp raw caster sugar
¼ white pepper
1 tsp cornstarch
1 tbsp shaoxing
2 tsp light soy sauce
1 tsp chilli paste
3 tbsp water
1 ½ tsp sesame oil
200g baby prawns, peeled, deveined and roughly chopped
½ tsp salt
3 shiitake mushrooms, soaked and finely chopped
1 tsp ginger paste
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 shallots, finely chopped
1 tsp oyster sauce
20-30 gow gee wrappers

Method
To make the filling, combine the pork, sugar, pepper, cornstarch, shaoxing, soy, chilli, water and one teaspoon of sesame oil in a large bowl. Stir in a single direction for five minutes, or until a fine paste is formed. In a second bowl, combine the remaining sesame oil with the prawn and salt. Again, mix in one direction for a minute or until it all comes together. Cover both bowls and pop in the fridge for half an hour or so.

Meanwhile combine the mushrooms, ginger, garlic, shallots and oyster sauce in a large bowl before adding the pork and prawn mixtures. Stir again, in one direction, for five minutes, or until it all comes together.

Get a steamer prepped while you start working on the shumai. While I just use baking paper to line, you can either brush with oil or use a damp cheesecloth.

But back to assembling. Hold a gow gee wrapper in the palm of your hand before adding a heaped teaspoon of filing in the centre. Bring the sides up and crimp around the edges to leave an exposed circle at the top. Continue the process until done.

When you’re ready to steam, pop them in the steamer leaving a couple of centimetres between them and steam for 12 minutes, or until cooked through.

Devour immediately with your favourite condiments.


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Synthislaw Kiss

Canada’s Drag Race, Canada’s Drag Race 2, Side, Snack, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls were tasked with forming two country-pop girl groups in honour of my dear Tay-Tay, complete with a little revenge anthem. Though sadly lacking any reads about stolen scarves. As Team Captain, Gia led the Giddy Girls to the top of the charts and herself, victory. And while Team Synthia still slayed, the Dosey Hoes were not as cohesive which led to Synthia landing in the bottom with Eve, ultimately booting her from the competition.

Backstage Kimora praised Synthia for another knockout lip sync, while Pythia was thrilled to finally get some peace and quiet with Eve out the door. Kendall praised Eve for growing this week and letting her see a new side to her before Gia praised herself for finally taking out a win. Not feeling as joyous was poor Adriana who questioned why she was the last one chosen in the challenge with Gia blaming the rusical, while Synthia pretended she just wanted to take an unexpected route. Talk turned to their track records with Icesis shadily pointing out that only two of the dolls don’t have a win, which immediately made Kimora and Kendall ready to prove why they should be here.

The next day the top seven were feeling their oats until Pythia shaded Icesis for her sole bottom placement and not taking out a second win the week before, while Synthia and Kendall were just wanting to slay again. This little kiki was interrupted by my dear Amanda who tasked the dolls with getting into artist quick drag and painting a twerk of art of their inner saboteur. There was a sea of fringes, spectacles and blunt fringes before Adriana gave a stunning abstract painting I would genuinely put on the wall (FYI, I’ve had some wine). Pythia unveiled herself, commenting on her penchant for fucking up her own life. Gia was trying to give stoned Paris Hilton, Kendall took the comedy route painting douche water, while Kimora was all about dick. Synthia , meanwhile, was British and stunning while Icesis was fire. All fire.

After burning their demons, Icesis took out victory thanks to her madcap delivery. Before we could learn if there was any benefit to her win, Amanda announced that this week they would be throwing the Sinner’s Ball! The first catergory would see them selling rocker in a Sex Drugs and Rock’n’Roll number, followed by an Ugly as Sin look. And then a Seven Deadly Sins look, made from scraps they pilfer from a tombstone. And since Icesis took out victory, she was given the chance to allocate them, quickly snapping Wrath for herself. Instead of being shady, she opted to go the nice route, mainly because she wanted to beat the dolls when they were at their best. As such she allocated Greed to Synthia, Sloth to Gia, Pride to Kendall, Lust to Adriana, Envy to Kimora and Gluttony to Pythia.

The dolls split up to go through their tombs with Icesis confusing the leather daddy gear for her own wardrobe, while Adriana was ready to really lust it up this week. All of the dolls were living for their hauls, except for Kimora who had bland fake leaves while Kendall was terrified of her sewing skills bringing her down. As such, she planned to build a base garment, accentuating her curves and then glueing on stuff to finish it up. 

Feeling a bit guilty, Icesis approached Kimora to make sure she was ok with her box and offered her support should she need it, as she stuck her leaves together. Adriana meanwhile started to panic about toeing the line between sexy and not making an actual look and getting read for being in underwear. Synthia meanwhile realised she already designed a gold look in the first challenge, so immediately halved the items she could pull from, though was confident in her ability to pull it off. And well, Icesis was just hella confident in taking out another win because she is an icon, frankly.

Gia meanwhile was going to dress like she fell asleep in her make-up, while Pythia was just desperate to prove herself and stand-out over the other fashion queens in Sythia and Icesis. Speaking of which, the duo were talking about how nervous Kimora is about this week’s challenge while praising Gia from pushing through her lack of skills, while they grew nervous about how quickly Pythia was throwing together a look.

Elimination Day rolled around with the Kimora talking about her confusion regarding the growing queer community, wanting to know how everyone identifies so that she isn’t calling them the wrong label or pronoun. Kendall shared that she is a queer male, while Gia and Pythia opened up about being non-binary. The dolls praised Kimora about how she broached the subject and the fact she opened up the dialogue to help others to ask with kindness.

Brooke, Brad and Amanda were joined by the iconic Gigi Gorgeous Getty on the judges panel as the dolls unveiled their Sex Drugs and Rock’n’Roll runway with Pythia serving ‘00s punk rock queen with purple hair. Kendall was a metal stoner, Gia had them gagged as a literal guitar, while Adriana looked like a goth singer from the Matrix while Icesis was a technicolour delight in honour of Gem. Synthia meanwhile was Madonna does rock before Kimora kinda looked like an extra on Dancing with the Stars in her ode to Tina Turner.

On the Ugly as Sin Runway, Pythia looked a stunning mess in a crochet gown while Kendall’s pussy vommed all over her coat before she coughed up a hairball. Which was confusing but made me love her for such an odd concept. Gia was gorgeous in a gown made of chewing gum, Adriana was demented as a peasant woman while Icesis slayed as a toilet paper doll. While Synthia was stunning as a lolly, though clearly missing the point of the assignment while Kimora was amazing in calling out slavery and damn, that hit me and all the judges in the feels.

Kendall’s Seven Deadly Sins look was a bit oddly constructed in the front, but cute otherwise. Pythia was stunning in a candy stripe dress while vomming candy, Gia looked amazing just out of bed while Adriana was gorgeous in a pink boudoir number complete with tits, which would delight Ru, TBH. Icesis meanwhile was a demonic, BDSM delight and poor Synthia was a mood in mis-matching patterns while Kimora served awkward anaconda.

The judges lived for everything Pythia did with each look while Gigi loved her make-up even more than her looks. Kendall meanwhile was praised for her clear messaging in the designed look though was read for her confusing cat lady. Gia received universal praise for all that she did while Adriana was praised for the comedy she gave the second look and showing diversity. Next up Icesis was beloved for giving non-stop couture, while Synthia was read for not really hitting the mark in any of the categories. Kimora was thanked for her beautiful slavery runway before the judges gave a hard pivot and praised her other looks for being so joyous.

Backstage the queens praised Kimora on her beautiful moment before talk turned to their critiques. Adriana was annoyed that the judges didn’t respect how hard she worked on her final look while Icesis was thrilled by her universal praise. And you know, likely second win. Gia suggested Synthia would once again be in the bottom before the girls rallied around to remind her how fierce she is. Because this is Canada, after all.

Ultimately Icesis took out victory before Kimora and Gia were sent to safety. On the flipside, Synthia was deemed one of the bottoms before pivoting again as Pythia was sent to safety for being amazing. Ultimately Adriana was also announced as safe leaving Kendall gagged to find herself in the bottom … against her damn bestie. As soon as DJ Sammy’s Heaven kicked off the dolls were ready to fight, ripping their legs free of their garment before moving around the stage, hitting her lyric and feeling all the emotions. While Synthia put up a good fight, Kendall was here to slay and proved why she deserves her place in the competition, she was flipping and fighting and totally dominated. Tragically at the cost of sweet Synthia’s place in the competition.

As soon as I saw sweet Synthia in the Werk Room, I started to sob before following the judges lead and pivoting hard, asking if I looked like a dove. While she was confused, she gave a half chuckle when I explained that my tears must be what it sounds like, when doves cry completely unaware that was a genuine thought that came into my head rather than a joke.

But that is the kind of friend Synthia is.

While she was disappointed to be leaving the competition, she is so kind and upbeat, that she couldn’t stop talking about how grateful she was for the experience. Win or lose. With that, I didn’t need to really cheer her up, so instead I toasted her success with a fresh and bitey Synthislaw Kiss.

Yeah, yeah – how many slaws can one make before they’ve exhausted their options? Well let me tell you, there is no limit to my passion for slaw. This Asian inspired number combines delicate wombok with a hit of sharp flavours to leave you wanting more. If only I had something to serve it with  …

Enjoy!

Synthislaw Kiss
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
2 cups wombok, finely shredded
1 carrot, peeled and julienned
1 red onion, thinly sliced
1 red chilli, sliced
45g peanuts, toasted, coarsely chopped
1 lime, zested and juiced
1 tbsp sesame oil
½ cup coriander, roughly chopped

Method
Ok, prepare yourself for a tough one!

Pop everything in a bowl and toss.

Then devour, obvi.


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