Previously on Drag Race Down Under thanks to a perfectly timed fainting episode, Mother Ivory mothered and scored herself a check – I hope – for the third episode. After Rita returned to the Werk Room, inspired and ready for rudemption, she learnt that the dolls would being starring in an improv sketch for the Fake Housewives of Down Under. And was instantly filled with dread. Gabriella on the other hand was positively pumped, confident in finally getting her star turn and being able to snatch the win. Which she promptly did, though TBH, the competition was hardly there. Flor was barking mad, Bumpa was Bumpa – so beloved – while Ivanna just looked to be trapped in her head and Rita was an absolute mess. When it came to the lip sync, Rita once again got her energy back, slaying and saving herself, while poor Ivanna exited stage left.
In the exact same placement as her husband Anita.
Backstage Rita was gagged to have survived her second lip sync in a row, putting it down to her hunger for the competition. While Hollywould pointed out it may just be because she is a lip sync assassin. The dolls meanwhile toasted the heartbroken Ivanna, wishing the judges got to see how joyous and fun she was backstage, since they felt it was lacking in the challenges. Talk turned to Gabriella’s win before Ashley continued her Milk storyline, complaining about how she has now been safe twice and as such, she was hungry for a win. Though Flor assured her that she was too. While Italy’s own Ms. Labucci decided that since she has had a taste of victory, she is well and truly ready for another.
Asking the dolls to catch her as she skated on by.
The next day everyone was feeling positive and ready to face the next challenge. Particularly Flor, given she was happy to get rid of the teams given Bumpa did her head in. Hollywould meanwhile agreed that she was kinda shocked Bumpa was deemed high in the last challenge, before Rita reminded everyone that while she lip synced twice in one episode, she knows her worth and isn’t going to let it impact her. Hopefully not jinxing herself again in the process. Ru interrupted the kiki wheeling out 10 of the hottest Pit Crew members for the dolls to pick out who is wearing matching panties. As is often the case, we all won but Gabriella Labucci won that little bit more. But who cares, packages!
And for this week’s Maxi Challenge, the dolls would be playing the Snatch Game so really we have no time to dwell on logistics. Simply remember them fondly.
After Ru departed, the dolls split up to talk through their characters with Flor wisely locking in Charo while Bumpa excitedly shared she was doing a famed Opera Singer. Isis meanwhile locked in Gloria Swanson, Hollywould planned to do community service Naomi Campbell and Gabriella, like an icon, was doing Emma Wiggle. Ru dropped by to talk to her new daughters, with Gabriella admitting how nervous she was to live up to the expectations of the judges as a proven comedy queen. And the fact Ru had no idea about The Wiggles. Isis meanwhile had Ru nervous with her choice before Ashley delighted her with her choice of playing Jesus Christ himself. But make it gay. Rita meanwhile thought it was a good idea to play the pioneer of the suffragette movement – Rita gurl, you’re in danger. Thankfully though, after Ru bounced, Isis and Rita spiralled over their choices and both opted to change.
We dropped by the Snatch Game set where Gabriella stuck with Emma Wiggle, Isis pivoted to Donatella Versace, Bumpa stuck with Dame Kiri Te Kanawa, Rita went to Cardi B while Hollywould, Ashley and Flor wisely stuck with their OG choices. While I’d love to say it was finally a winning Down Under Snatch Game, it wasn’t, as Ashley and Isis far and away ran circles around their sisters. Ashley in particular, talking about Jesus being bred and living out her gay dreams. While Rita was just a mess. But so messy, it was kinda charming?
Elimination Day arrived with Ashley feeling her oats, ready to potentially snatch a win and stamp her place in the contest. While Hollywould exuded confidence, she admitted she was joking and knew she was a mess. Though a gracious mess, as she praised Isis and Ashley for slaying. Ashley in turn felt Bumpa would be joining them in the top, while the rest of the dolls all kinda knew any of them could be going home. Except Flor, who was sure she would be the third top, while Gabriella was simply hoping she would be safe.
Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined on the panel by Keiynan Lonsdale as the dolls stomped the Night of 1000 Kylie Minogue’s runway. Bumpa was up first, gorgeous in blue and green in Kylie’s showgirl era, Ashley served In My Arms music video, and was glorious, before Flor gave us the green fairy and was stun. Ning. Rita gave the weaker version of the In My Arms music video, though her mug was so, so, so perfect. Hollywould gave cyborg Kylie and was fierce as hell, Isis also gave a more glamorous green fairy before Gabriella gave Delinquents premiere Kylie, rather than Charlene like I desperately hoped from her.
Hollywould and Gabriella were sent to safety before Bumpa was praised for a strong start in Snatch Game, though read for fading throughout. Though her runway was beloved. Ashley meanwhile got wall to wall praise for Snatch Game and her runway. Praised in particular for bringing dignity to her Jesus without losing the jokes. Isis too was absolutely beloved, while Rita’s look received wall to wall praise, though her Snatch Game was truly hated. Flor meanwhile was read for not bringing any comedy to her character work, though they found her outfit cute.
Backstage the dolls caught the safe girls up, with Rita shocked they were safe given she would have put them both in the bottom. Everyone agreed the win was down to Ashley and Isis, before Rita and Flor admitted they were confident they would be lip syncing. And they bloody hated it, given it is Rita’s third in a row. With sweet Gabriella encouraging them to learn the lip sync and use it as the fire to push them further in the competition. Bless.
Ultimately Ashley took out victory as Isis was sent to safety alongside her, before Bumpa was gagged to join them, leaving Rita to serve her third lip sync of the season against Flor. And as soon as the singing budgie’s Secrets kicked off it was clear both girls had the fire Gabriella requested, though Flor’s experience proved to give her a little edge. Hitting every lyric and slaying the game. Which was enough to save her and send sweet Rita Menu out of the race.
While she wished she read a fucking book – included only because it was a glorious exit line – I assured her that if we learnt anything from the Book Ball in Season 8, it is that illiteracy is hilarious. I pulled her in for a hug and told her she should be so proud of how well she did in the competition, and honestly, could have gone a lot further if not for a bad run of challenges for a non-comedy queen. Which proved to delight her enough to wipe away her tears and sit down to enjoy a piping hot Ri-the Menu Cheeseburger.
Despite the gastronomic delights of The Menu, the dish that has everyone salivating is its gloriously simple burger. And after sampling a version compositing all the copycats I could find on the internet, I know why. Crunchy and umami, sweet and gooey, this perfect burger has everything and will keep you coming back again and again.
Enjoy!
Ri-the Menu Cheeseburger Serves: 2.
Ingredients 500g 80/20 beef mince 1 tsp kosher salt ½ tsp black pepper, ground ½ small onion, thinly sliced 4 slices American cheese 2 Briocher Bünsberg, toasted your favourite burger sauce – I can’t go past the one from Smoke Shacqui Patterson – and dill pickle chips, to serve
Method Divide the beef evenly into 4 portions and gently roll into meatballs, working as little as possible so you can still see the strings of the mincing. Pop on a plate and place in the freezer for no more than 15 minutes.
Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat and get the air vent going or open up your windows, as there will be smoke. You will know the pan is hot enough if you splash water in the pan and it balls up and rolls along the surface. Place the balls in the hot skillet, top with a square of parchment and using a large metal spatula, flatten each into a patty. Sprinkle each with a little salt and pepper, followed by some sliced onion.
Once the base of the patties have crisped – about 90 seconds or so should do – flip over, season the tops and top with a slice of cheese, and cook until the bottoms are gloriously crisp.
To assemble, smear some sauce on the base of the buns, top with some pickle chips, followed by the two patties and close. Then devour, gloriously.
As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.
Previously on Drag Race Down Under the dolls took some erotic boudoir photos with the help of the Pit Crew. Obviously the resulting images ranged from smutty and trashy to sexy and camp, so it was a big win in my book. Ru then surprised them by announcing they were all invited to Muriel’s Wedding, and that they’d be making their own outfits to attend. Out of the bedding they just brutalised. The outfits ranged from bad to worse, with Ivory and Rita bombing badly, while Ivanna’s well constructed dress landed her in the bottom three for being unlined and unsteamed. Which seemed harsh, comparatively. Isis meanwhile took out victory as a blushing bride, while Ivory and Rita lined up to lip sync for their lives. Only Ivory fainted and it got delayed. Though I did serve her up a little treat to help perk her back up and give her a fighting chance.
The next day after Ru swatted a fly – I assume the one that came for Flor episode 1 – Rita and Ivory took their places on the stage ready for the briefly delayed execution. And as soon as Murder on the Dancefloor kicked off, it was clear our Kiwi icon had no interest in going home. She was silly, sassy and a little slutty and while she looked like she bruised her coccyx on a split, there was no denying she was winning. So despite my culinary boost, poor Ivory was sent to sashay away. Though got paid for a third episode, like a damn icon.
The rest of the dolls were sitting in the Werk Room waiting to find out who was going home and while most of them felt Ivory wouldn’t be returning, Isis felt her redemption story could just be enough to save her. While Hollywould just wanted her to stick around so they could bond enough for her to give her one of her wigs. Ru then dropped by to confirm most of their suspicions, as Rita sashayed back into the competition. And to celebrate, this week they would be starring in an Ultimate Girls Trip reunion for the Fake Housewives of Down Under, hosted by Rhys. Which immediately filled sweet Rita with dread, given she is not an actress.
Thankfully though, she got to be a team captain – alongside Isis, as the winner of the previous challenge – so could surround herself with strong queens. Isis wisely selected Gabriella first, followed by Hollywould and Ivanna, while Rita went with Bumpa, Flor – against her wishes – and was left with Ashley. Though bless, Ashley was looking forward to proving them all wrong since nobody chose her.
After Ru departed, the groups split up to work through their outlines with Team Isis feeling super confident. Particularly Gabriella, who desperately wanted the role of Shazza but when Isis asked for it instead, she pointed out that she would slay any role and as such, she was happy to just take whatever was leftover. And oh god, she is going to slay, isn’t she? Even with the character with minimal screen time. The dolls turned their attention to the other team with everyone agreeing Flor struggles to pick up on jokes and as such, improv could be a problem for her. But TBH, I am confident she is going to be one of the stars of the team. And by one of, she will shine with Bumpa. While Rita wanted the housewife recently released from prison, given it reminds her of her family, she ultimately let it go to Bumpa and took the anchor piece. Which furthers my theory Bumpa will be unstoppable.
Team Isis were first up to set with Rhys, with Gabriella a star from start to finish, while Hollywould was bland and Ivanna was forgettable. Isis was kinda solid though? In Team Rita, Flor and Bumpa were completely demented from start to finish while Ashley took chewing up the scenery literally, chewing gum and not much else. And well, Rita’s fears were sadly realised as she bombed. Bad. Though to be fair, you’d probably describe both of the scenes that way. Producers, call me if you want an interesting acting challenge next year, ok? I mean, Gaybours is right there.
Elimination Day arrived with Gabriella admitting she is feeling rather confident about taking out the win, while Rita was pretty much at peace with lip syncing. Flor felt she well and truly did enough to be safe, while Bumpa was worried she didn’t do enough. Ivanna meanwhile split the difference, completely sure she did enough to be safe, while her sisters viewed her performance as bottom worthy. The dolls split up to beat their villainous mugs, cackling through it and just being all around delights, TBH.
Ru, Michelle and Rhys – thankfully still full of jokes – were joined on the panel by Adam Lambert as Rita kicked off the Bad Girls Gone Bad Runway looking perfect as a slutty, female Riff Raff. Bumpa served ancient queen of the damned, Flor was glorious as Ezma – iconic – Ashley gave glamour Catwoman, Ivanna gave a more basic Catwoman, Isis gave Gaga in AHS Hotel and well, it was perfection. Hollywould gave the upcycled version of Bumpa’s look and Gabriella was a stunning Harley Quinn, complete with roller skating.
Ashley and Hollywould were sent to safety before Rita was read for just being safe in the challenge, despite everyone agreeing both of her looks were stunning. Bumpa meanwhile was beloved for giving a demented yet grounded performance, Flor was praised for being absolutely bonkers, despite it annoying the shit out of Michelle. Oh and then Ru mistook her saying her villain was Ezma as It’s Mine, which had her cackling. So yeah, she is definitely safe. Ivanna meanwhile was read for being safe and forgettable in the challenge, while they loved her look but wished she gave some wig. Isis was loved for all that she did, while Gabriella was ditto ten fold, given she was the clear breakout of the episode.
Backstage Ashley was thrilled to be safe, while Hollywould was pressed given she was sure she was a top in the challenge and the best on the runway. As they speculated who would be lip syncing, the tops and bottoms rejoined them with Gabriella thrilled for her as-yet-unannounced-win, while everyone was shocked about Bumpa being in the top. Even Bumpa. Ashley was obviously pressed about it and confronted her, while Bumpa gave zero fucks, given they are both safe and just doesn’t care. Ivanna meanwhile was in her head, disappointed that she appears to be choking every time she is in front of the red light.
Ultimately Gabriella did take out the win before Bumpa, Flor and Isis were sent to safety, leaving Ivanna and Rita to battle for the final slot. And as soon as Glambert’s version of Holding Out for a Hero started, it was clear the dolls were down for a fight. Ivanna was fun and high energy while Rita was in the pocket the entire time, feeling all the emotion and hitting every letter. So despite bookending the episode in the bottom, she lived to fight another day as Ivanna was sent out the door. In eighth place. Just like Anita.
After she got off the phone to Anita, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that like Anita, she left a mark on the competition. She was upbeat and fun, and frankly a little bit robbed in Week 2, which according to my calculations, almost makes her a robbed goddess and if you land in the middle of the pack, that is better than outstaying your welcome. While that was obviously a shitty peptalk, it seemed to do enough of a trick as Ivanna was giddily happy afterwards. Though maybe that had more to do with the round after round of Ivanna Drinks I served up?
Packing a glorious punch of tart raspberry and lime, this cocktail is the perfect refreshing drink for a warm spring afternoon. Or to drown your sorrows after having your dreams crushed in a reality competition series.
Enjoy!
Ivanna Drink Serves: 1.
Ingredients lime wedges and sea salt flakes, for rim ¾ cup frozen pitted cherries ½ cup bourbon ⅓ cup fresh lime juice 2 tbsp simple syrup soda water, to top up
Method Rub a lime wedge around the rim of two old fashioned glasses and dip with sea salt.
Pop the cherries, bourbon, lime juice and syrup in a blender, and blitz on high until cherries are completely blended and you’ve got a deep red drink.
Ice the glass, pour over the cocktail and top with a dash of soda water. Then down.
As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.
Previously on Drag Race Down Under ten new queens tied their kangaroos down and moved on into our teeny, tiny Werk Room. Forgoing any form of opening photoshoot – which sucks, TBH – the dolls put on an epic Mardi Gras welcome performance. To a megamix of Ru’s hits, no less. Ivory was confident with her uplifting lyrics, until Hollywould and Flor cautioned her to focus more on selling herself. They were then followed by sweet Gabriella, and while the advice was 100% correct, it was enough to make her spiral. Coincidentally, the trio that gave her the advice made up the tops – leading to a well deserved Hollywould – while at the other end of the pack, Amyl too got stuck in her head. With it tragically sending Amyl out of the competition as the Jojo Zaho of the season.
Backstage while Ivory was completely gagged by the fact she won the lip sync, she was glad to be able to prove to both herself and her sisters that she can perform. She congratulated Hollywould on taking out the win before Ashley jumped in and immediately turned the attention to herself, gagged by the fact she was in the bottom but glad her ill fitting outfit was so beloved that it saved her. Rita hilariously jumped in herself, reading it as fugly, which upset Ashley.
The next day things were far less tense, with Ivory vowing to be as loud and gay as possible and show the judges confidence. Aka the thing she lacked in the performance. Flor asked her if she and Hollywould actually got into her head, with Ivory doubling down admitting they did. But before a fight could break out, Ru dropped by to put the dolls through their paces in a sexy selfie boudoir mini challenge. Bumpa Love was up first and well, I love her thunderdome, slutty vibes. Ashley Madison was a mess, but rocked the staging, Flor gave slutty Dora the Explorer like an icon, Gabriella was demented and stunning, Hollywould was just sexy, Isis gave awkward old dominatrix, Ivory was a trainwreck in the best way possible, Ivanna Eiffel Towered her way into my heart and Rita gave shitting the bed. Literally.
After Gabrielle was handed victory – justice for Flor – Ru announced that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be attending Muriel’s Wedding. And they’d need to design their outfits using the bedding on set for their pictorials. It descended into chaos as everyone snatched whatever they could, while Gabriella just flicked through and thought it was all shit.
As they split up to look through their hauls, Ivanna was confident to not fall prey to Anita’s sewing curse and survive a design challenge. Isis meanwhile was vibing, given she is a very good sewer, Bumpa felt she could safely be middle of the pack, Rita was wanting to stand out while Ivory was ready to have her moment. While Gabriella, ugh I hate it, was spiralling. Though her idea to call her dress Muriel so it could be deliberately terrible and save herself was an iconic idea. Ivanna and Isis were busy working away which started to make Flor nervous, given she has no skills in the area. But unlike her sisters, she knew that she needed to stay confident.
Ru dropped by with Raven to kiki with the dolls, with Isis confidently speaking about her history in bridal design. Which Raven pointed out put a target on her back. Ivory was selling confidence, despite being unable to sew with her gorgeous red fabric. Bumpa Love had Ru in stitches as she sold drunk aunt energy, Ashley threw shade as she shared she was using the exact same fabric as Ivory. But with sewing skills. Obviously Ru and Raven lived for the drama, which didn’t really kick off until they left, as Ivory read Ashley as a tasteless bitch.And like their sisters, I love it. Flor meanwhile was spiralling over the outfit, leading to Isis stepping in to help her. Followed by helping Ivory and then all her sisters, begging the question, is she going to be able to finish her outfit? Gabriella didn’t want to bother anyone though, however sadly it meant she just quietly spiralled. While Ivanna knew she should line her gown, but was worried about having enough time.
Oh and Hollywould decided she hated her fabric and decided to start again.
Elimination Day arrived with rumours swirling that Isis had made a completely new outfit for Hollywould. Which they both emphatically denied – just some hemming – before Hollywould pointed out that they should hope she doesn’t land in the bottom anyway, given she would murder them in a lip sync. As they split up to finish, Bumpa and Rita meanwhile were frustrated that other queens were getting help when they did everything themselves. Meanwhile Ashley asked if Hollywould felt she could best three people, with her hilariously pointing out Flor as one of them, who was right behind her. Talk turned to their relationships, with Bumpa talking about being married for 10 years – with Gabriella hilariously pointing out you get less for murder, which is such an ockerism – before Isis shared a touching story about how much weddings and marriage equality went to making her feel whole.
Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined by Maria Thattil on the panel before Ivanna served bitchy mother in law realness, in white for emphasis. Rita gave cutesie flower girl as she flashed the judges, Ashley’s jealous sister looked ok but her hair was a mess. Sadly Ivory’s dress was such a mess though, it made Ashley look great. Bumpa Love meanwhile sold the hell out of her horny, mother of the bride realness, Hollywould looked SO good as a glamorous flower girl supermodel – thank you, Isis – Gabriella slayed as a fringed showgirl waitress at the wedding, Isis served a draped, gown – though looked dead, according to Rhys – before Flor closed the runway as she sold the party. And I love it.
Ashley, Gabriella and Flor were sent to safety – with a “thank you so much,” from Gabriella – before Ivanna was praised for her sewing, though read for not lining the dress. Or steaming the garment. And kind of not sharing enough energy. Rita meanwhile was read for not having flowers, though praised for hemming, despite a lack of shape to the gown. While the judges loved Ivory’s presentation, they read her outfit for absolute filth. Specifically the wonky tits and pregnant vibe. Bumpa meanwhile received universal praise for the details and the energy, while Hollywould’s outfit was beloved, thanks to Isis, though so was her energy. Isis meanwhile received wall to wall praise for the look, though Michelle cautioned her to tone down the eye makeup.
Oh and then Rhys offered some important advice, “Why talk about anal beads? Use them!”
Backstage Ashley was thrilled to be safe, though shocked to be there alongside Flor and Gabriella. The tops and bottoms joined them, with everyone agreeing Isis is taking out the victory, while Gabriella agreed with Ashley, shocked that she was safe. Hollywould admitted she is in the top, while Ivanna started to break down, disappointed to be in the bottom and potentially going home on a sewing challenge. Just like Anita. Rita too was in her feelings, while Ivory tried to cheer them up. Ashley asked if that meant she thinks she is safe, with Ivory talking about how she got opposite critiques to last week. Admitting that she is mainly annoyed that she is in the bottom when people literally had their garments made for them.
Ultimately the doll’s suspicion was correct as Isis jagged her first victory, before Bumpa and Hollywould were sent to safety. At the other end of the pack, Ivanna – thankfully – narrowly avoided the bottom, leaving Rita to face off against Ivory. Well, eventually, as Ivory fainted and had to go outside to recover, leaving poor Rita to sit there on stage wondering what the hell was going on, with sweet Gabriella ra-ing her up from the back of the stage. As a wonky Ivory returned to the stage, Ru decided enough was enough and told them that NOBODY would actually be lip syncing tonight. Instead, due to the medical episode, the dolls would have a night to rest before lip syncing at the top of the next episode.
Given the extraordinary circumstances, I decided to bring forward Ivory’s culinary comfort. As she wobbled off stage, I quickly took her under her wing, and while she continued her sassiness, pointing out she is still in the competition, I figured that given she almost went over the edge of the stage, she should be happy. Plus, in her two, soon to be three, episodes, she already proved to be an icon and as such, that is worthy of a celebration. Whether she lives – poor choice of words – to fight another day, or exits as the second boot. And conveniently, Diavory Glazalami & Burrata Pizza is perfect for either situation.
The hot and fiery salami – think week two Ivory – pairs perfectly with the light, creaminess of the burrata – week on Ivory – to give you a nearly perfect pizza. Even if it means she will likely go out next, on account of the pizza curse.
Enjoy!
Diavory Glazalami & Burrata Pizza Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor ½ cup passata 2 tbsp italian herbs ¾ cup mozzarella, grated 20 slices diavola salami 1 tsp dried chilli flakes 1 ball burrata, torn
Method Prep the base as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 200°C.
Roll out the dough and spread with passata, then scatter with mozzarella, salami and chilli flakes. Transfer to the oven to bake for 20 minutes or so, or until golden and bubbling.
Remove from the oven and top with burrata. Before devouring, like an icon.
As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.
Previously on Drag Race Down Under the producers once again proved that what we lack in budget in the land(s) down under, we make up for in sheer camp and fun. I mean, where else do you hear so many ockerisms and smut from the judges alone. One by one the dolls were felled and once again, Team Kiwi came out on top as CUM! and chippies combined to hand a very well deserved victory to Spankie mother tuckin’ Jackzon as she succeeded the host of her first televised drag competition victory, Kita Mean.
Never forget Kita spreading rumours she was the first boot. What an icon.
But that was then and this is now, as first up to enter our tight little Werk Room this year was Hollywould Star and I love her confidence, despite only being on the scene for a year. Plus her red dress was cute. Ashley Madison dropped by looking perfect in pastel, despite her lack of arse and controversial nature down in Melbourne. Pronounced Mal-bourne, if you’re a local FYI. While Ashley has the reputation as the local bitch, she heard that’s what the dolls in Sydney think of Hollywould, so hopes to see if she is. Or you know, is trying to Alexis Michelle her way out of the villain role and push it on to Hollywould. The first potential winner – aka Kiwi – is Flor, who was living her best life serving all glamour, until a fly flew into her eye, because this, of course, happens in down under. Ivory Glaze arrived serving sleeping beauty on arrival and nerd in confessional, so you know I will ship. Even though winner may get her fired by Ashley, her number one booker.
But well, Ashley couldn’t keep her pants up, so maybe her approval doesn’t really matter.
Feeling the vibe, Amyl was an absolute mess forgetting her name, age and entrance line, so if she doesn’t win, I am absolutely going to lose it. Plus, her entry line was perfection (“Loosen up assholes, Amyl’s here”). Anita’s husband was up next and well, I look forward to Ivanna Drink and her sweet nature. Isis Avis Loren joined the frey and I love her already, because in drag she is sickening but out, she is an artsy nerd and I love me a transformation. Rita Menu was next in, serving silly charm and ugh, give her the crown. She is like the kid from Hunt for the Wilderpeople grown up and therefore must be protected at all costs. We then met Bumpa Love, who is a fucking icon like Gamble from RHOM and while she was living for herself, the little girls were loving her delusion. And then Gabriella Labucci rounded out the cast, arriving in crotchet, dropping farts and I love her and her flaccid dickhead ways.
Her quote.
Ru dropped by to welcome her newest shielas and list out the prize package before forgoing any mini challenge and announcing for their first maxi challenge, they would be throwing a Madi Gras float performance, featuring their own verses on a mash up Superqueen and Sissy that Walk. And because of the budget, one would assume, they would have to arrange their own choreo.
With that, the dolls split up to untuck and kiki, with Flor and Isis speculating who would prove to be their biggest competition. While they felt Rita is likely to be the first one heading out the door, given she hasn’t been doing drag for very long. Hollywould and Amyl meanwhile were excited to not be the solo women of colour, speculating that Flor could be the trade of the season. If she ever took off her mug for them to confirm, that is.
Everyone split up to work through their lyrics, with Ivory confident in her skills as a songwriter. Sadly for her, Flor and Hollywould weren’t feeling her kind, uplifting words, instead cautioning her to mak sure she lets Ru know who she is with her verse. Hollywould meanwhile was focused all on herself, though thankfully sharing her lyrics lit a fire under Ivory. Rita meanwhile was focused on talking food and serving, while Ashley started to get into her head. Gabriella meanwhile opted to walk around and check in with her besties – lucky she gave out those friendship bracelets on arrival – though sadly just made Ivory more nervous.
The dolls pivoted to the mainstage to work through their choreography with nobody willing to stick their necks out so soon. As such, Ivanna bravely stepped up to lead them, however given Amyl isn’t a confident dancer and Ivory doesn’t know what a boxstep is, it could be a problem. She didn’t have to worry for long though, given Flor and Isis weren’t thrilled by the direction of the choreo, so the latter stepped in like traffic control and directed them all around the stage. Which only made things worse for Amyl and Ivory, while sweet Gabriella was just confused. For no specific reason, like an icon.
Backstage Ivory continued to spiral, breaking down in tears as she wondered why she even thought it was a good idea to apply. Thankfully Isis stepped up to give her a peptalk, encouraging her to take this opportunity to shine. Ivory opened up about her difficult relationship with her parents and how she has always felt the need to be perfect. And even when she was, was made to feel like she should be doing even more.
Elimination Day arrived with Amyl feeling very stressed about her debut performance, while Ivory opened up to the rest of the girls about how their feedback on her lyrics got into her head and as such, she spiraled. And while Hollywould was annoyed she couldn’t see it as constructive, the rest of the dolls were far more supportive. As they split up to beat their mugs, Hollywould and Flor kikied about how they were only trying to help and gave Ivory deathies across the room. Thankfully before a fight could break out, Isis asked who had experienced mardi gras which led to a nice chat about the power of pride and how wonderful it is. Despite the lack of safe spaces being equally located around the country, as Ashley Madison further leant into playing the role of the Alexis Michelle of the season.
Gabriella meanwhile was genuinely being a sweet icon, pulling Ivory aside to make sure things were good between them as she was only trying to be helpful about her verse and would hate to have hurt her feelings in the process. While Flor and Hollywould moved on from the deathies, instead joking about Ivory being in the bottom.
Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined on the panel by Deva Mahal as the dolls turned the show and well, it was good. Real good. Hollywould was absolute fire, Garbeilla was camp and cute, Flor was on point and Isis was perfect because I love her. At the other end of the pack, poor Amyl was very obviously stuck in her head, Ashley’s outfit looked a couple of sizes too big and Ivory couldn’t find the beat or her own lyrics.
On the Somewhere Under the Rainbow runway, Isis served a moody, floral butterfly. Ivanna looked like Weird Barbie rocking shimmering disco dots, Amyl gave a tube of lifesavers, Ashley gave Vivienne Westwood tartan, though still couldn’t get an outfit to fit. Rita meanwhile gave gay flag gyro, Bumpa was stunningly feathered and ugh, I wish we saw more of her this episode as she is fun. I mean, the waving and banter with the judges as she walked was just A+. Garbriella gave another lifesaver gown though made it glamour and won the battle, Ivory Glaze gave LBD covered in unicorn cum – who can beat that description? – while Hollywould Star served glamour Black Panther and yeah, she came to slay. As did Flor, giving bright, architectural bug and well, this is clearly why the dolls were confident backstage.
Isis, Ivanna, Rita and Bumpa were sent to safety before Amyl was read for being completely stuck in her head and unable to loosen up, ironically. Ru encouraged her to just believe in herself and feel like the star that she is. Ashley meanwhile was read for the ill fitting garments, though praised for her confidence. Gabriella meanwhile was lavished in praise for being charming, energetic and fun, despite her performance look being a little basic. Ivory meanwhile was read for struggling in the performance – BADLY – though they rightly lived for her stunning runway, which may just save her. She opened up to Ru about being a business analyst and that she doesn’t really believe in herself, though drag is what makes her feel extraordinary. Hollywould meanwhile received wall to wall praise for the performance and the runway. As did Flor, despite the fact they wanted to see her face.
Thankfully though, she did fully beat under her mask and that reveal absolutely delighted them.
Backstage the safe girls were just thrilled to survive the first week before Amyl arrived and immediately started hunting for an iPod to learn the lip sync. And was heartbroken. Ivory meanwhile was disappointed but ready to lip sync, knowing it was inevitable. Ashley meanwhile was busy sobbing about her fucking nipples landing her in the bottom. While Amyl admitted she would just prefer to lip sync against Ashley because she likes Ivory better, so doesn’t want to send her home. Which, lol.
Ultimately Gabriella and Flor were sent to safety as Hollywould took out the first victory of the season. At the other end of the pack, Amyl tragically didn’t get her wish as Ashley narrowly avoided the lip sync – by a nipple, one could say. As soon as Men at Work’s Down Under kicked off, Ivory and Amyl gave the same choreo and energy, but TBH, what else can you do with that song other than some air percussion and jigging. Actually, maybe they could have done some Kath and Kim Irish dancing? In any event, while it was a bit boring, Ru didn’t go the route of Valentina and keep them both – for reasons still unknown, Mexico – instead, rewarding Ivory for giving a little bit camp and polish, tragically leaving Amyl as the Jojo Zaho of the season.
Despite the disappointment, Amyl was in good spirits backstage as I pulled her in for a massive hug and reiterated that even if she didn’t get the memorable place of first boot, her entry would have already made her a beloved, cult queen. And since she has both, that makes her destined for great things, if you ask me! Back to feeling her iconic oats, we turned our attention to celebrating her brief run, plotting her ru-demption on All Stars and smashing a batch of Chicken & Mushroom Amylfredo.
There is nothing I love more than a rich, creamy sauce. Even more so when it is combined with my second favourite meat – chicken, as I’m basic – and pasta. Throw in some woody mushrooms and well, you’ve got the ultimate in comfort food.
Enjoy!
Chicken & Mushroom Amylfredo Serves: 6.
Ingredients 500g penne 1 tsp olive oil 500g button mushrooms, sliced 500g chicken breast, sliced kosher salt and pepper, to taste 500g thickened cream 115g unsalted Butter 75g parmesan cheese, grated 4 garlic cloves, minced 1 cup baby spinach, washed
Method Cook the penne per packet instructions, because girl, I have no idea where to start making penne from scratch. But that is an aside.
Heat the oil in a pan over medium heat and saute the mushrooms for 5 minutes or so, or until browned and crisp. Add the chicken and cook, stirring, for another 5 minutes before seasoning with a good whack of salt and pepper. Reduce heat to low and stir in the cream, butter, garlic and parmesan, and cook until smooth, before stirring in the spinach. Remove from heat.
Combine the pasta and the sauce, season to taste and then devour, thinking wistfully of what could have been.
As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.
Stone the flamin’ crows! Once again Ru is about to begrudgingly say g’day, g’day, g’day – alongside Michelle and Rhys, of course – to ten new queens from Australia and across the ditch, before awarding a delightfully beloved Kiwi the crown. So congratulations Flor, Ivanna Drink or Rita Menu, I guess?
Given Ru is here against her will – presumably just to block Courtney Act taking the host role – she immediately got on the blower and begged me to come join her.
“As my third favourite Aussie after Georges and lil’ baby Jorgeous,” who Ru believes is a time travelling younger version of her husband, thus the obsession, FYI, “I need you to come across to Auckland and make my girls feel welcome. Because squirrel friend, the budget sure doesn’t!”
But what we lack in budget, we make up for in camp, silly fun and let me tell you, the dolls of Season 3 are here to put on a SHOW. I assume because once you’re welcomed to Mama Ru’s room – not to not be confused with Mr. G’s – you’re welcomed to the magical world of drama. And CUM!
Who will come out victorious like Nikki Webster at the 2000 Olympics? And who, tragically, is going to find themselves the first told to fuck off and stick those flowers up your fat ass Margaret? You know the drill, either watch the show or check back here in a week.
Or ideally, both. Despite the fact Stan, TVNZ nor WoW still aren’t paying for this quality coverage.
📷: Stan / TVNZ / WoW.
As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.
Previously on Australian Survivor 24 castaways arrived on the beaches of Samoa divided into Heroes or Villains depending on either how they play the game – for our 11 returnees – or how they intended to, for our newbies. Or their profession, in the case of our journos and real estate agents. As quickly as she came back for her redemption, poor Jackie was medevaced. She was followed by a string of newbies as Anjali, Michael, Mimi, Rogue and Sarah soon followed. George then set his sights on his nemesis Simon, but after a surprise individual immunity challenge we lived through the best tribal council of all time which cost Fraser his spot.
Iconic scream queen Sharni was next to go (back to Yabbie Creek, darl) before the swap (thankfully) cost Paige her spot in the game. We then suffered the tragedy of losing sweet Jordie before my dear friend and legit hero Benjamin Law was shown the door. Internal battles between the Spice Girls caused Stevie to be blindsided just ahead of the merge, before George’s instincts proved correct as Flick turned on them while Matt stayed loyal, allowing the OG Villains to take control and boot David from the game.
For her deception, Flick became Australia’s first ever Queen of the Jury before a lack of mateship sent Sam out. George then broke our hearts by turning on Shonee before the Villains turned their attention back to eliminating Heroes in the form of Shaun and Hayley. George and Simon’s feud finally came to a head with the King booting sweet, power-bottom Simon before Nina became the first Twine to join the jury.
The final four were gagged by Jonathan when he announced that they would be eliminating a juror with Matt and Gerry pushing to get rid of Shonee, given she was 100% in Liz’s corner. Which should have been a warning to George that he would not be making it to the final tribal council again, with the final three newbies banding together to send him to the ALL RETURNEE jury. At the final tribal council Liz well and truly rose to the occasion, laying out a comprehensive, nearly watertight argument why she deserved the win. Before the jury awarded her unanimously, making her our second Olympian to take out the crown. I mean, if presenting to the jury was an Olympic sport, she would come out on top while Sharn, famed barrister and two-time runner-up wouldn’t even qualify.
While the edit may not have shoved it down our throats, there is a very clear reason why Liz was not only the final woman and villain standing, but our newly minted Sole Survivor. And that is because she not only played a hell of a social game but also knew when to make the right moves. It may not have been the most exciting television watching the newbies ride it out with George at the end, however it made the most sense to use him as a shield as he will always be easy to eliminate at the end (another reason Sandra should actually always make it to the end, but people get too excited) as their best shot was with each other.
Despite Matt opting to eliminate Shonee from the jury for being a locked in Liz vote, he clearly underestimated the bonds she made and how well she would be able to articulate her game. Which is why he landed in second and she joins our iconic pantheon of winners. As the fireworks settled, I pulled her in for a massive hug – did you know I was a champion pole vaulter and we became friends on the circuit? – and thanked her for keeping us fed this season. More important than winning the title, she also managed to put an end to the long running Survivor curse and that is worth celebrating, with a glorious Liz Parciuttov & Asparagus Pizza.
This pizza is so delicious, it is hardly a surprise it had the power to end the curse. The earthiness of the asparagus works perfectly with the salty tang of the prosciutto and the creamy ricotta to deliver a pizza fit for the newest queen.
Enjoy!
Liz Parciuttov & Asparagus Pizza Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor ⅔ cup ricotta kosher salt and pepper, to taste 1 bunch of asparagus, trimmed and cut into lengths 1 lemon, zested 2 tbsp chives, thinly sliced ½ cup parmesan cheese, grated 6 slices of prosciutto, roughly chopped
Method Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 180°C.
Spread a thin layer of ricotta over the bases, followed by a sprinkle of salt and a good whack of pepper. Add the asparagus, lemon zest, chives and parmesan, before topping with the prosciutto. Transfer to the oven and bake for 10-15 minutes, or until golden and crisp.
Serve and devour triumphantly, knowing you’re the one person great enough to break an epic(ish) curse.
As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.
Previously on Australian Survivor 13 newbies were dumped on the islands of Samoa ready to do battle with 11 returnees to prove once and for all whether heroes or villains do it better. Nearly instantly Queen Jackie was violently dumped off a barrel in the first challenge, breaking her collarbone and ultimately medevaced from the game. Despite a warning at tribal council that George – who was also injured in the first challenge – may not return, they opted to continue with the vote and sent his only ally, the iconic Anjali Rao out of the game.
George ultimately did return however, with Shonee quickly pulling him into an alliance with her given she knew that as the only three time player on the beach, she needed another threat around as a buffer. Oh and she also found this season’s island bestie in Liz, and just like that Shiz was born. After losing yet another immunity challenge, Michael was felled for trying to target George. Stevie meanwhile was out for revenge against Shonee for blindsiding him on their first season, however when he was the target at the next tribal council, she redeemed herself in his eyes with a last minute flip to send Mimi out of the game.
Meanwhile over at the Heroes despite being the biggest threat as the sole winner in the cast, Hayley was feeling confident enough to throw the immunity challenge to get rid of Rogue because she was rude and abrasive. After losing the next immunity challenge, the Heroes were gagged to discover they’d be sending a mole over to the Villains tribe however when Sam said they were sending someone expendable, Gerry was less of a mole and more of a powerful tool for the Villains post swap. The Villains returned to their losing streak, running over the swing vote in Sarah before Fraser got caught in the crossfire of George and Simon’s feud in the most epic tribal council of all time.
When the Heroes returned to tribal council my love Benjamin idol-ed Queen Sharni out of the game before the swap arrived and kicked things into overdrive. Despite being outnumbered at the new Heroes, George and Shonee took control and blindsided Paige – ugh, hunting is yuck – before Jordie was felled back at the Villains despite having Shonee’s idol in his pocket. The Heroes then sent Benjamin from the game before Liz was able to mutiny to reunite Shiz before a feud between George and the girls led to Stevie tragically being booted. After the merge, the OG Villains and an assortment of friends took control, sending David from the game before Flick became our first Queen of the Jury. She was followed by her bestie Sam before queen, icon, legend Shonee was felled by George before she could get him, due to her being closer to Liz. Shaun and Hayley were the next Heroes to go, before George finally got to take out Simon and then opting to stick with the boys and take out Nina.
Jonathan threw in one final twist however with the tribe required to boot a juror with Matt and Gerry getting their way and sending Shonee out of the game due to her being a guaranteed vote for Liz. Which really should have been a warning to George that his goose was finally cooked, as they banded together with Liz to send him out of the game as our fourth place robbed goddess of the season.
At the final tribal council, Liz absolutely dominated her opponents and took ownership of the move Matt had pinned his entire argument on – getting rid of George – neutralising him in the eyes of the jury, and allowing our newest queen to take out the title unanimously, leaving Matt to finish as the co-runner-up with Gerry. As I said with Gerry, despite being shut out, Matt played a solid game and arguably did all he could to win as one of the few newbies left by the jury phase. Since George was clearly taking them to the end for an easy win. But alas, they cut him loose at the end (which was also Matt’s move, despite not having revenge attached) making Matt a lovely runner-up, with a hearty Matt Borscharp reward.
When I was little, the entire concept of borscht freaked me out, despite my passion for beetroot. I assume it had something to do with the fact I couldn’t figure out how to make cheese work with it, but that is a conversation for another time. As an adult, I finally tried borscht and fell in love with its rich, earthy perfection and the soup quickly found its place in my permanent rotation.
Enjoy!
Matt Borscharp Serves: 8.
Ingredients ¼ cup olive oil 4 beetroot, peeled and grated 2 celery stalks, sliced 1 onion, diced 4 garlic cloves, minced ¼ cup tomato paste 8 cups chicken stock 2 cups water 3 potatoes, peeled and sliced 2 carrots, peeled and sliced 400g can cannellini beans, rinsed 2 bay leaves 2 tbsp champagne vinegar 3 tbsp dill, finely chopped kosher salt and ground pepper, to taste sour cream, for dolloping
Method Place a large stockpot over medium heat and add a couple of tablespoons of olive oil. Once hot, add the grated beetroot, celery, onion and garlic, and cook for 10 minutes, stirring infrequently, until they are soft and juicy.
Add the tomato paste and cook for a minute or so, before stirring in chicken stock and water, followed by the potatoes and carrots. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for 10-15 minutes or until cooked through. Add the beans bay leaves, vinegar and dill with a good whack of salt and pepper, and simmer for another five minutes or until cooked through.
Serve with a dollop of sour cream and devour, like a boss.
As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.
Previously on Australian Survivor after the boys tragically removed Shonee from the jury in the surprise final non-elimination, the final four finally faced off in their final immunity challenge. Set on the same cliff face that housed the iconic moment Kirstie convinced Lee to step off his perch, they would stand in torture devices as JLP turned a crank to further extend spearheads into their back with the last one standing guaranteeing their spot in the final three. After rolling out their loved ones – featuring the iconic Duchess of Double Bay, Cara “I’ve Cooked It” Atchison – they took their places before the Olympian took out immunity, forcing the boys to turn on each other. Despite Gerry’s plea to be voted out and let George stay, the newbies held firm as Liz finally got revenge and sent George to the jury.
The next day the final three awoke to watch the sunrise before Liz spoke about how difficult it was to vote out George, despite how great she felt to have gotten revenge for the legendary Shonee. Knowing the jury was made up of only returnees, the feeling was that they will reward gameplay, despite Liz being a little nervous about the fact it was also very hero heavy. After collecting their feast from treemail, Matt spoke about how much of an honour it was to make it to the end and make his family proud. Gerry was equally surprised, thrilled to have made it to the end despite being the oldest contestant in history. He then opened up about how much the victory would mean to him, given COVID ruined his business and he could now actually repay his family and rebuild his life. Before they all panicked about getting their pitches right.
At the final tribal council everyone took their places on the relevant benches before Jonathan explained how the evening would proceed as Liz kicked off the opening statements, talking about how she came in as a physical threat and that she has proven herself week after week. Despite that, she had no experience in the game and as such, absorbed all the wisdom of George, Shonee, Simon and Jordie to sharpen her skills. She built many alliances, forged via her stellar social game, but nothing compares to the fact that she was able to bide her time before finally getting revenge and taking out George. At the toughest position, as final juror. She then doubled and tripled down on the George vote being solely her move as Matt looked on awkwardly.
And damn, she is off to a strong start.
Speaking of Matt, he spoke about how he came out here driven to win for his family by building close social bonds. He outlined all the moments he was selfless, talking about how those moves made him a perfect person to flip without being noticed. Also he won three immunity challenges like Liz, but with an extra vote to boot. While Gerry was far less polished and intense, this time keeping it brief, telling everyone he is the oldest to ever play and he was thrilled to buck the trend of becoming a first boot. He fought through an injury and being deemed disposable, which ultimately led to him changing up his game and focusing on revenge against the Heroes. And well, he rode George to the end as his partner. And you best believe, he never missed when casting a vote.
We flipped over to the jury where Sam congratulated everyone on making it to the end before asking how Liz was proactive, with her articulating that she had to hit the ground running to simply survive against returnees. She then powered through the swap phase, building new alliances and then dominating at the merge. Simon then asked Gerry how he had control throughout the game, with him explaining you can’t succeed in this game by yourself and as such, he was steering the ship with George and while everyone looked sceptical, George confirmed it was true. Speaking of George he then congratulated them on making it to the end, asking Liz and Matt to articulate which move they made in the game that wasn’t instigated by him. Matt quickly tried to take ownership of getting him out, which Liz promptly shut down, telling him that a decision after the immunity challenge isn’t equal to her biding her time after the Shonee vote until it was the right time to strike. At final four, when she knew he would be vulnerable.
Matt then tried to say he considered working with Simon after the Hayley vote but ultimately didn’t, which TBH, doesn’t matter as it didn’t happen. Which is exactly what George told him, as he scolded him for not actually being able to name one, reiterating that he’d love to vote for him if he can name something. Liz then jumped in, because lol, telling George that there were many moments that she and Shonee spent time working behind the scenes to sneakily turn the tide against him, using saving Flick at the Stevie vote as an example as she continued to knock the question out of the park.
Hayley then asked Gerry if there was anything he regretted in his game, with him saying he doesn’t have any regrets and that he is proud of the game he played. He spoke about the 30 year age gap between him and the rest of the cast, and how he invested so much time in overcoming having nothing in common with anyone, leading to Sam patronising him about being terrible with human interaction. Which is a bit of a lol, given who it is coming from. Shaun then jumped in to say that he and David only spoke footy because it was their job, ripping Gerry for never taking an interest in him, pointing out that he has many things in common with Gerry, like hiking, however Gerry just never bothered to ask.
Queen Hayley tried to get things back on track, asking them why they deserve to win, with Gerry talking about how the game gave him a new lease on life and whether they vote for him or not, he is a winner. Liz meanwhile spoke about how she has played an interesting, exciting game and was scrappy as she played from the bottom, being the last woman, last newbie and last Villain standing and she is ready to take out the crown that she rightly deserves. Given she expertly straddled the line between Heroes and Villains. While we got nothing from Matt, which is kinda sucky for him, given it makes it abundantly clear he isn’t winning.
With that the jury voted before JLP wheeled out the final three’s loved ones and got to work counting the votes, with Liz taking it out unanimously. Like an absolute boss. I pulled Gerry aside to congratulate him on a game well played, because despite being shut out by the jury, there is no denying that he really played the game as George’s partner. Despite a lot of those instances – the Stevie vote in particular – being a calculated move on George’s part to let him make the choice, Gerry more than Matt had agency throughout the game. Which more than earned him a piping hot celebratory Almond & Cherry Geltch Danish.
It feels kind fitting that both Gerry and George were bequeathed danishes on their first attempts at the crown, though I would argue Gez got the better version. Sticky, sweet and oh so moreish, this cherry and almonds are the perfect pairing to toasting the great man.
Enjoy!
Almond & Cherry Geltch Danish Serves: 8-12.
Ingredients 2 sheets frozen puff pastry, partially thawed 350g cherry jam ¾ cup toasted slivered almonds, plus extra to top 1 egg 1 ½ teaspoon raw caster sugar ½ cup icing sugar 2 tsp milk ¼ tsp almond extract
Method Preheat the oven to 160C.
Place the puff pastry on a lined baking sheet and spread the cherry jam down the centre third of each, leaving a two centimetre border at the top and bottom, before sprinkling the almonds on top of each.
Use a sharp knife to make diagonal cuts, along both long sides of the pastry, cutting until you almost hit the preserves. Starting at the top, fold the strips over the filling, alternating sides until you make it to the end, before pinching to seal.
Combine the egg and sugar with a tablespoon of water and whisk to double. Brush over the top of each and sprinkle with the extra almonds. Transfer to the oven and bake for 25 minutes, or until golden and crisp. Remove and leave to rest for five minutes.
Finally, combine the icing sugar, milk and almond extract in a jug and drizzle over the warm danishes, before devouring.
As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.
Previously on Australian Survivor after finally vanquishing sweet Simon, the tribe battled it out for a guaranteed spot in the final four, with Liz taking out immunity. And promptly rallying Nina and George to work with her to get rid of Matt, given he was her biggest threat. Sadly for her, George was getting nervous about rehashing his mistakes from the previous season, so didn’t want to blindside Gerry in the process of getting rid of Matt. This put him well and truly in the middle of the two duos, making him, once again, all powerful. Sadly for the girls, Nina gave a stellar tribal council performance, which sadly proved that she was the bigger threat – and confirmed she will vote for the best game – scaring George into flipping and taking her out with the boys. Though again, it also gave us our first Twine on the jury.
Back at camp George congratulated everyone on making it to the top four while Liz death stared at him, irate that he had ruined her plan once again and made her path to the final two that much more difficult. Later that night George dropped by to apologise to Liz who straight up cussed him out for signing her death warrant while he was sitting pretty with the boys. George however wasn’t bothered that she was salty given he was essentially choosing which final three he wanted to go with and he still technically has options, given she either votes with him at the next tribal council if he wants to take a shot, or she gets voted out.
The next day Liz was still super nervous, unsure how she was going to navigate the remaining days in the game. And I assume a little bit angry at herself for letting George blindside her again with Nina, just like he did our lord and saviour Shonee Bowtell. Once again though, she knew she had to suck up her feelings and caught up with him in the shelter, with George explaining Nina speaking so well at tribal is what made him change his mind. Liz pretended she was all good, though didn’t bother telling him about what Nina said to her on her way out the door. George then told us he just couldn’t break Gerry’s trust once more, whereas he knew it would be easier to win Liz back. Though he assured her that if Matt wins the next immunity, he will join her in finally getting rid of Gerry.
George next caught up with the boys, reminding them how hard they have worked to avoid the jury, with George telling us how given the jury is made up of only returning players, should he make it to the end, he will be rewarded for dominating the game. Gerry and Matt meanwhile were talking about the path ahead, both genuinely wanting to go to the final three with George and pledging their undying loyalty, before confirming what we have long suspected and that they assume it is a final two, at which point they are looking to cut him just before final tribal council as their big move.
While poor Liz just knew that she was completely screwed should she not win immunity.
Right on cue the final four met Jonathan for the latest immunity challenge. Or so they thought! Instead, it was a challenge for an extra vote at tonight’s tribal council, meaning there is definitely going to be a twist, because they won’t leave George without the chance of immunity at the final four. But anyway, back to the challenge as this one is a biggy! They would race to swim to shore and collect balls, land them in a shoot, crawl under a net and then solve a puzzle before climbing stairs and landing sandbags on five platforms. Matt took out an early lead with Liz nipping at his heels before George and Gerry somehow overtook her. That being said, the other three were kind of irrelevant as Matt continued to power ahead, solving his puzzle as Gerry arrived at the table, while George and Liz desperately tried to close the gap. Matt then got to work tossing his sacks, landing one after the other before anyone else even joined him, promptly taking out the extra vote.
After handing over said vote, Jonathan announced that tonight they will not be voting someone out of the tribe. (Side note: duh). Instead it is the return of the infamous juror removal twist and oh shit, I feel sick because Shonee has been mentioned multiple times already this episode and given Matt and Gerry now have three votes and they know she isn’t voting for them, she is toast. Oh and then JLP confirmed it is a final three, with final immunity coming up tomorrow before the final person will be voted out and replace the juror they eliminate tonight.
Back at camp the final four celebrated making it to the final immunity challenge before popping on some rice ahead of a vastly different kind of scramble. For some reason George started to talk to Matt about the fact that if you have a guaranteed vote, you’re that much closer to winning now that only 7 people will be voting for 3 people. George then went to Liz, both agreeing that getting rid of Simon is the best idea for them, given he is least likely to vote for them. The bad thing being that should be very clear to both Gerry and Matt, so therefore they should keep him.
George and Liz joined the other two to try and sell it as revenge for Simon calling everyone pawns. Sadly for them, Matt gave them a non-committal response while Gerry suggested Nina would vote for Liz for being a female, rather than looking at the game. Liz rightly was offended by that with him explaining he just meant that they were closer and as such, she is way more likely to be swayed by her. Matt then shared with us that his extra vote puts even more pressure on him, given it could be the decision between winning and losing. Matt pulled George aside and told him he is open to both Nina and Simon, however feels like if Liz is sitting at final tribal council – because his and Gerry’s plan to go to three with the King has totally changed now – Shonee is a guaranteed vote for her and as such, she makes the most sense. George tried to point out Simon doesn’t deserve a vote, though stupidly didn’t try to explain that if he and Liz both make it to the end, they split Shonee and as such, make it a tiny bit easier for him to squeak out a win. I mean sure, it isn’t a great pitch, but it is literally the only one we’ve got to keep Shonee vibing on the jury.
Matt then pulled Gerry aside to float his horrible, no good plan. He told Gerry it is very clear they are being played by George with the Simon vote, given he is a guaranteed vote for one of them. Matt continued, explaining that since it is now a final three, they need to adjust their plans and get rid of George at the next vote. And therefore if they go to the final three with Liz, they need to get rid of the only guaranteed vote for her, in Shonee. George filled Liz in on the drama, with Liz telling him to get down to the shore and break it up as they can’t lose Shonee. With Matt expertly playing derpy and telling him they have realised getting rid of Simon makes the most sense as he arrived. Gerry and Matt then spoke about trying to play their cards close to their chest at tribal council so as not to spook anyone, while trying to weigh up who is the better option of going to the final three given everyone loves Liz while George has played the best game. Before Gerry wisely pointed out that George also has a lot of hate against him from the jury and as such, maybe he isn’t a guaranteed winner.
While Gerry just felt like tonight was a chance for him to draw a line in the sand by either going with Matt to eliminate Shonee, or sticking with George to take out Simon.
At tribal council Jonathan quickly caught the jury up on what would be happening tonight, explaining that one of them will be leaving tonight, which obviously pissed all of them off. Particularly Shonee, who appeared to know the writing was on the wall. George spoke about this being the most important tribal council he has ever attended since the winner will only need to secure three or four votes to win. Matt opened up about being the one with the extra vote tonight, and how while he has power, he still needs one other person to agree with who should go out. Gerry admitted two names were on the table pack at camp and that both are warranted to go out. George meanwhile spoke about how fierce debate was back at camp and as such, suggested things may still be up in the air, as Liz interjected and pointed out that she had actually thought they were on the same page.
George whispered to Gerry to see who he was thinking about voting out, with George reiterating he will be taking out Simon as Gerry gave him nothing. Matt spoke about how they need to make a choice between getting rid of a guaranteed vote for someone else or just someone they think will be bitter. As Gerry and George continued to whisper, Gerry told him he had a bad feeling about all the girls on the jury being locked in behind Liz before George pointed out that since she won’t be at the final tribal council, it shouldn’t matter. But you could kind of tell he realised he is definitely going out in fourth and maybe should have kept Nina. Matt and Liz then got in on the whispering, with Liz asking if we’re all losing Shonee before Matt announced he is confused, but ready to vote nonetheless. With that the tribe voted and Gerry finally swayed from George, though tragically it broke the hearts of the nation in the process, as he, Matt and even George removed Shonee from the jury. Which was 100% the correct move for two of them, but it doesn’t make me hate it any less.
As she just cruised on out of there and even further into our hearts.
The next day the final four were jubilant to officially be the last ones standing, with Gerry sharing how at the start he was ready to ride it out with the Heroes until they sent him to the Villains without any concern, leading to the second best revenge arc behind Queen Shon’s in All Stars. But just ahead of Stevie’s in this season, given it went nowhere. George meanwhile was just shocked to still be in the game given he came in with such an epic target. And now he just needs to survive one more tribal council to take out his deserved victory. His words. Matt on the other hand was shocked to have made it there, though knew that without immunity everything could come crumbling down. In the form of Liz, who knows she is out next without immunity, though you know she is ready to fight and given she is an Olympian, you know she has the resolve.
After a brief glimpse of Kristie, Lee, Jericho and Peter in their respective final challenges, the newest final four arrived at a cliff face to discover this year’s final immunity challenge. Which will feature them all standing on a narrow perch holding a handle above their head, while JLP will turn a crank pushing blunt spearheads into their backs to make things as uncomfortable as possible. But before that, he delivered a little bit of love to help motivate them. First up was iconic cooking queen Cara for George, followed by Liz’s boyfriend Daniel, Gerry’s fiance Pam and Matt’s pregnant wife Kirsty and oh lord, I’m crying, they’re crying, everyone’s crying.
The visitors were promptly kicked off to a bench to watch their loved ones be tortured as they speculated how long they would be up in the devices. After JLP gave the crank a spin, the boys all complained as Liz suggested it was nothing and begged JLP to give it another crank. Which you know he did! Instantly the boys started to feel the pain while the two-time Olympian laughed with glee. Mother nature then joined in the fun, unleashing a deluge of rain as they fought for an hour before JLP whipped out his crank to further dig the spikes into their backs. Which was all it took to take out Gerry, as he stepped off the perch while his competitors sweetly praised him for doing so well. After two hours and an additional crank, George suggested nobody wanted the win more than him with Liz calmly telling him he is wrong and to just wait and see. We got to three hours before Jonathan gave the spears another crank which saw George start to struggle, badly, as he begged Matt to hold on, before ultimately dropping out. Leaving Liz to battle Matt for final immunity. After four hours Liz started to get the shakes as Daniel willed her on before she requested JLP dish out one final crank.
As the loved ones watched on with baited breath, George swapped seats and started chatting to Gerry, telling him that all they need to do is stick together at the next vote and there is a way forward for them. Liz continued to breathe through the pain before Matt’s hand slipped off, handing Liz final immunity. And ideally, crowning her our winner.
Back at camp George was very nervous about the newbies banding together to take him out, though was confident in his ability to plot and scheme. Even in such a shitty predicament. Knowing she would have been out of the game if she didn’t take out immunity, Liz was well and truly feeling her oats and ready to finally get her revenge on George and send him out of the game. Gerry meanwhile congratulated everyone on fighting so hard in the challenge, talking about how humbled he was by their performance. He then took it one step further, telling everyone that he didn’t deserve to go to tribal council and begged them all to vote him out. Which George obviously jumped at, promising to do his wishes before getting to work wooing Matt and Liz.
George first pulled Matt aside to tell him how important it would be for them to just vote out Gerry and guarantee their place in the final three. And while he agreed to George’s face, he knew he couldn’t do it to Gerry and instead told him he would actually be voting for George and if he wanted to avoid making fire, he should vote out George too. Speaking of George, he pulled Liz aside to try his best, with Liz too pretending to be all in on the Gerry vote, though obviously, that would not be happening. Because revenge. Though George was confident Liz would have his back and as such, was ready to march to the end and take out victory.
At tribal council the jury were absolutely delighted to see that Liz had immunity – I wish Shon was here to see this – before she opened up about her own pride to have come out on top after such an epic, intense challenge. Particularly with her boyfriend there. George immediately cut her off to talk about how driven Liz is and how proud of her he is, while Liz spoke about the fact she was so driven because she knew she had literally no other option. Matt meanwhile was gutted to be the one coming in second, talking about how now they need to be smart about who they send out of the game. Gerry on the other hand spoke about how hard it would be to vote for either Matt or George. With that the tribe voted and despite Gerry’s plea the newbies banded together to take out George, as Liz wisely whispered in his ear that she finally got him.
As George arrived at the Jury Villa, I pulled him in for a massive hug and praised him on such a dominating performance. While he was disappointed to be eliminated so close to the end, he admitted he was expecting his massive target to take him out early so was thrilled he was once again able to find his feet and dominate. I then did a quick detour and yelled at him for turning on Shonee too soon and robbing us gays of our mother. I mean, I know she was planning to turn on him at the next vote, but given siding with the newbies landed him on jury, I would have preferred to see a wee more exciting end game by having her stick around a little longer.
While I would argue that come the merge, George got lucky that people knew he would be an easy vote at the endgame, there is no denying that he once again proved himself to be a master strategist. And that alone deems him worthy of going out as the fourth place robbed goddess of the season and the piping hot Beef Bourgeorge Mladenov prize that goes along with it.
Boeuf bourguignon is one of those dishes that has the power to convert even the most vehement beef naysayers of its delight. The meat melts in your mouth as the sweet, rich sauce washes over your tongue and fills you with glee.
Enjoy!
Beef Bourgeorge Mladenov Serves: 6-8.
Ingredients 1 tbsp olive oil 200g bacon, diced 1.5kg beef brisket, trimmed and cut into a large dice 1 carrot, thickly sliced 1 onion, diced 10 cloves garlic, minced kosher salt and pepper, to taste 2 tbsp flour 12 French shallots, peeled 3 cups red wine 2 cups beef stock 2 tbsp tomato paste 1 tsp fresh thyme, finely chopped 2 tbsp fresh parsley, finely chopped 2 bay leaves 2 tbsp butter 500g small mushrooms, quartered
Method Pop the oil in a large dutch oven and sauté the bacon over medium heat for a few minutes, or until crispy and browned. Transfer with a slotted spoon to a bowl and set aside. In batches, brown the beef on all sides in the glorious bacon fat before using the spoon to transfer to the bacon dish. Finally, add the carrots and onions to the pan and cook for a few minutes before adding 6 of the garlic cloves and cooking for a minute, or until fragrant. Drain off the fat, leaving a tablespoon or two, before returning the beef and bacon to the pot. Stir in the flour with a good whack of salt and pepper, and cook for about five minutes, or until browned. Add the shallots, wine and stock, the latter to just cover the meat, before stirring in the paste and herbs. Bring to the boil, reduce to low and cover before simmering for a few hours.
While the beef is rollicking, heat the butter in a large saucepan until foaming before adding the remaining garlic and cooking for a minute or so, or until fragrant. Add the mushrooms and cook, stirring occasionally to coat, for about five minutes, or until browned and plump. Season with salt and pepper, before transferring to a plate.
Remove the bay leaves from the casserole, before stirring in the mushrooms and skimming off any of the excess fat that rises to the surface as it cooks until it reduces to a glossy liquid, enough to coat a spoon. Adjust seasoning before serving with a gloriously buttery mash and devouring, like a king.
As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.
Previously on Australian Survivor Gerry was feeling betrayed after landing in isolation after George and Liz switched their votes from Simon, leaving him plenty of time to swap stories with Nina about their relevant final three deals with George. At the immunity challenge for four, Matt just snatched victory ahead of sweet Simon, who felt like his time would surely now be up. Back at camp George was ready to repeat the previous tribal and split the vote between Simon and Nina. Nina meanwhile was not interested in going down without a fight, trying to woo Matt and Gerry to her side to take out the king with Simon. Sadly though it was clear it didn’t work at tribal council as Gerry spoke George had been mentoring him before it finished on a tie between Nina and Simon, with our sweet, iconic bottom finally exiting the game.
The next day the final five were delighted to find a little breakfast treat with the warning that they will need all the energy they can to make it to the end of the game. While everyone smashed muffins and coffee, George appeared to be most excited by the bag of sugar. Matt meanwhile was all jacked up on caffeine and sugar, buzzing and feeling like he can finally think again. And by think, run around the camp screaming and belly flopping into the ocean. The fivesome then had a lovely moment together, bonding in the shallows and celebrating how far they have come. George and Gerry caught up privately, locking in going to the final three with Matt, while George spoke about being grateful to have found a lifelong friend in Gerry. But then ominously pointed out he would be happy to finish in fourth. Or third, or second. Meaning it is pretty clear Nina is next, right?
That afternoon the boys caught up to lock in their vote against Nina, as she hung in the hammock while Liz wandered around camp. She had finally realised that George’s relationship with the boys was becoming a massive threat to her game after the last tribal council, identifying Matt as her biggest physical threat and George as the most likely to win. Which again came infuriatingly too late. Trying to restore the jacuzzi alliance, Liz instead caught up with Nina by the shore and locked in the plan to vote out Matt should he not win immunity. Knowing that if she appeared positive it could prove a spoiler, Nina pretended to be disappointed as she caught up with her fellow former Heroes, leaving Liz to catch up with George and lock in the vote against Matt. You know, if he doesn’t win immunity.
Meaning it is very, very obvious that Matt is winning immunity.
The tribe met Jonathan by the beach for the final five immunity challenge where they would have to race to drop a ball in a shoot, race to collect it at the other end of a disc before walking over obstacles and collecting two more. Before then navigating them up an upright maze and into a hole, with the first to land them all taking out immunity. Nina and Liz took an early lead, with Liz powering ahead as Matt overtook Nina and worked to close the gap. While George and Gerry were stuck collecting their balls, with the former cursing it as a stupid challenge. Liz had a massive head start as she got to work on the maze before dropping, leaving enough time for Matt to join her. He too struggled, allowing Nina to join them followed by George as Gerry was still stuck on the first obstacle. Eventually Liz landed her first ball, followed closely by Nina. As George tried some wild tricks, Liz landed her second ball, making me realise how very wrong I was about Matt. As George magician-ed the ball to the top, Gerry joined the fray before Nina dropped her second ball as Liz powered through, landed her third and jagged herself immunity. Like a damn queen.
Back at camp the tribe quickly congratulated Liz on her victory before everyone scattered to work through plans for the upcoming tribal council. She sat by herself in the hammock, talking through all the scenarios by herself, knowing that trusting in Liz is kinda her last option and as such, she needs to be solid. Matt meanwhile checked in with George to see if he wanted to talk, with George assuring him that the only option is Nina tonight and as such, they need to load their votes on her and not worry. While Matt worried about Liz turning on them, George assured her she had no other options. Just as she and Nina caught up by the well to lock in their votes against Matt, while she worried about George’s growing closeness with Gerry. Liz caught up with George to tell him that voting out Matt is literally the only correct option moving forward, as George panicked about upsetting Gerry. Leading to Liz telling him to stop being soft and letting Gerry play into his emotions, and instead get cutthroat and play to win.
Which is energy I would have loved at any of the last four tribal councils.
Sadly for Liz, her pep talk actually triggered George, reminding him that he voted out his closest ally in fourth in his first season and that being cutthroat is what led to his loss. Which I would argue wasn’t the case, but it definitely didn’t help. Though he knew that by going to the final three with Matt and Gerry, he was essentially handing himself third. As such, he approached Nina to affirm that he would reignite the jacuzzi alliance. Matt then dropped by Nina, asking how she was feeling as Nina outlined that she, Liz and George were targeting Matt and while he knew she was trying anything to survive, he was very nervous. He then approached George and Liz to tell them what Nina said, leading to them vehemently denying it and ugh, I feel like it may be the thing that causes them to just vote her out.
Matt then approached Gerry to loop him in, with Gerry calmly telling him George knows he is playing for third with them, though he was happy to finish there. As Liz and George continued to bicker in the shelter, Liz pointed out he needs to stop being emotional and to just get rid of Matt. George then caught up with Nina, with her expertly telling him that she is voting Matt because that is the only plan anyone has given her and if he has a different one, she is willing to hear it. Sadly for her, as they spoke it became more and more clear that George will continue to be a swing vote until the very last moment.
At tribal council Nina spoke about how there is a high likelihood that she will be going home given she is literally the only person left from outside of the major alliance. While she has appealed to people to make a move, she feels like everyone is just holding on to their ticket to the finale and not letting go. Liz praised her for never giving up and always trying to find a way to survive, before talk turned to Matt’s challenge prowess, with George admitting it is a concern given he only makes it to the end if someone takes him. Liz praised him as her biggest challenge competitor, leading to Matt pointing out that Liz is also a huge physical threat, seemingly not realising she is immune so it literally doesn’t matter at this point.
George spoke to the fact he lost Brains Vs Brawn due to only focusing on strategy and not listening to his heart, though he intended to be guided by it this time to make it to the end. He then laid all ownership for building the minority alliance as Shonee looked on, enraged. Gerry tried to pretend their alliance had not had a leader with Jonathan hilariously pointing out that it completely contradicts what George just said. Gerry tried to double down, talking about everyone having a different moment to make the decisions, leading to an epic eye roll from Nina. She then spoke about how her perception is completely different and that is what matters when the power switches to the jury, as to her, Gerry has done nothing but do what he was told and tend to the fire. Essentially.
With that the tribe voted and two votes piled up on Matt and Nina before George proved to listen to his heart as Nina was tragically eliminated from the game. Meaning voting out a close ally cost him a win, as will likely keeping one. As Nina urged Liz to just not let George make it to the final tribal council.
As Nina arrived at the Jury Villa I congratulated her on becoming the first ever Twine to serve on a jury, which is literally all we’ve ever wanted from Sandra given she would give us the most iconic, sassy questions known to man. But that is all I said about her mama, as I pulled her in for a hug and praised her for playing such a strong game. While she and the Heroes may have botched it against Shonee and George – note who was put up front, for a reason – the fact that she managed to be the last one standing proves her impeccable skill at winning people over, gathering the right intel and making sure there was always someone that was a more pressing boot. So while I’m heartbroken we didn’t get the Twine Heroes Vs. Villains bookend we wanted, I am glad I could cheer her up with a Biryanina Twine.
This Indian classic – biryani – is one of those great dishes that are just as tasty as they are simple to make, meaning it quickly finds a permanent place in your rotation. Spicy and soothing, it is the perfect way to wash away the stress of the day. Or celebrate a win (or fifth place, in this case).
Enjoy!
Biryanina Twine Serves: 4-6.
Ingredients 1 cup Greek yoghurt ¼ cup korma curry paste 600g chicken breasts, diced 2 tsp olive oil 1 onion, sliced 1 tbsp minced ginger 5 garlic cloves, minced 800g tin diced tomatoes 1 cinnamon stick 2 bay leaves 1 ½ cups basmati rice 1 ½ cups chicken stock a handful of coriander leaves, roughly chopped, plus extra to serve
Method Combine the yoghurt and korma paste in a bowl and stir through the chicken to coat. Cover with cling and pop in the fridge to marinate for a couple of hours.
Once the chicken is well and truly marinated, heat the oil in a large frying pan over medium heat and cook the onion for 5 minutes or until soft and golden. Add the ginger and garlic, and cook stirring for a couple of minutes before stirring in the tomatoes, cinnamon and bay, cooking for a few minutes.
Stir in the chicken and rice, followed by the stock. Bring to a boil before reducing heat to low and simmer, covered, for 20 minutes or so, or until the liquid is absorbed and rice, soft and tender. Stir through the coriander and remove from the heat. Before serving, with an extra sprinkle of coriander or a dollop of yoghurt and devouring. Greedily.
As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.
Fame Hungry 