Beef & Eggplant Fattennah Rose

Main, Street Food, Survivor, Survivor 45, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor the franchise was reborn thanks in no small part to – and by that, completely because of – the Tika Three. Despite Bruce concussing himself within the first 5 minutes and dooming the tribe to some early losses, Carolyn, Carson and Yam Yam powered through the season and made it all the way to the top four. And not just powered, by ran diversions, added drama and spice and well, were just delights, TBH. So much so that Survivor is back in the race for the Emmys and our current reigning – Yam Yam – is iconic.

But lions, tigers and zaddies – oh my! – that was last season, and this is now. 18 new castaways boated into frame where we learnt Drew is a genius baby, Katurah is going to keep her career as a lawyer a secret and Emily would rather go home first if she isn’t going to win, because what a waste of time. Like a boss. Or Pia Miranda, who gave a very similar winner’s quote. Jake lives with his grandmother and I love him, Sifu is a zen dude bro straight from Ken’s mojo dojo casa house, Sean is a sweet zaddy who I will stan, Kellie is ready to cut throats and Dee is leaving nothing in the tank.

The speed boats docked at a cute little barge where the new gang met up with Probst, while we met Austin who is BAE. Punkie Johnson lookalike Sabiyah meanwhile is already an icon, while Brandon sobbed, overjoyed to just be here. While Libra Kendra is just living for the vibes, so I live for her. After Probst welcomed them to the new season, he reminded them that while he will try over and over to derail the game with twists, it is still a social game at its core. Brandon won hearts as he continued to sob over Jeff being in his presence and ugh, I love his energy. Kinda. Bruce meanwhile was at an 11, which is tragically exactly what cost him his place in the game the first time. But you know, props to him for pointing out he has zero advantage given he barely lasted an hour. Emily meanwhile called bullshit and reminded him that he had the time to mentally prepare and that is an advantage in itself. And when he tried to refute THAT, she pointed out he was talking with authority and yeah, she is feisty and I love it.

We then got the tribe names, Reba – because she’s a Survivor – Lulu and Belo, before Probst threw them into a marooning challenge, where two members from each tribe empty a crate of sandbags and collect a key before two more dive off the boat and swim to a dinghy to get a second while the third duo would have to use the keys to unlock poles to release their flint. Which the victor gets to keep, along with a pot and machete. Austin and Sifu got Reba out to an early lead with Kaleb and Sabiyah nipping at their heels for Lulu while Katurah and Bruce were running last for Belo, though thankfully both were well. Sean and Brandon whipped through the second part and put Lulu out in front, until Brandon choked on the ladder allowing Kellie and Jake to put Belo out in front. Somehow they all caught up at releasing their flint with Reba just nabbing victory.

Please use this time to go listen to the supercut of the theme song above.

Lulu and Belo then had to pick a new duo to work for their supplies with Kaleb and Sabiyah and Brando and Jake whisked off to another island to complete the sweat vs. savvy challenge. While Reba calmly paddled to their camp and celebrated having an advantage over their rivals. They took some time to introduce themselves, with everyone gagged J. is a singer songwriter, while Julie is a single mum who will be hiding the fact she is an attorney too. Drew meanwhile talks about himself in the third person and thinks he is the broiest nerd to ever exist and yeah, I don’t know if it is going to be as winning as he thinks.

Bruce and his angels arrived at Belo, thrilled for the lovely beach while he wanted them to know he is not Dad, he doesn’t want to lead and he just wants to have fun. Our Libran queen Kendra wanted to weave some palm fronds which Bruce cautioned was a waste of time, before he continued to list a bunch of things he learnt from his first time on the island and generally took the lead. While this annoyed the dolls, they loved that they were all vibing and let the astrology queens run the game and take out the win.

Over at Lulu, Emily immediately asked Hannah and Sean if they thought it was suss that Kaleb and Sabiyah volunteered to participate in the secondary challenge. Before they locked them in as targets, the group wandered around trying to figure out what to do before Brandon returned and spoke about how anxious he is and having a sit down. Oh and Hannah swept, while poor Sean just wanted someone to get to work with him until the others got back with supplies. Hopefully.

Speaking of supplies, Kaleb, Sabiyah, Jake and Brando arrived at the challenge where they learnt they would be facing off for supplies rather than both potentially winning. They would have an hour to move 40 logs from one end of the beach to the other before releasing a flint from a puzzle, with only one winning. If they finish in time, that is. Which they didn’t, painting an epic target on all of their shoulders given nobody has ever failed the challenges in the modern era. And now two tribes have nothing.

Belo were the first to learn they were screwed as Jake and Brando arrived and tried to keep the mood up, assuring their tribe that Lulu is also screwed, so it is all good. As Sabiyah and Kaleb arrived to warn the crew that they got nothing, Emily was immediately pissed and got to work warning her tribemates that they clearly took an advantage. Hannah and Brandon meanwhile were breaking down in tears talking about how stressful the game is, starved and tired, already. After a couple of hours. Though, hey, maybe it is Hannah’s nicotine withdrawal. Back at Belo, the ladies were busy locking in a final three which I love. Though the fact that Kendra wants to target Jake for being a lawyer, I am worried it will be their undoing, since Katurah is also one. Though given she is expertly pretending to be an office manager, maybe the gals can ride to the end.

The next day Lulu was being carried by Punkie Johnson who was busy leading them in building a shelter. Despite Emily’s bad attitude. As everyone grew annoyed by her glass half-empty vibe, they locked in an alliance against her. Though given they all thought the pyramids were alien batteries, I’m not sure she would really care to leave the rest of them chatting conspiracies and heading home.

Over at Reba Sifu was collecting wood slash hunting for idols. Which his tribe realised he was doing, so in turn, went hunting for him. While he was hiding behind shrubs saying he was planning to play like Tony. Though wasn’t very stealth as his rustling got him caught in a matter of minutes. So bye Sifu, Dee and the dolls hate you. Austin meanwhile was serving zaddy in his boxers and calmly snatched the Beware Advantage in a tree. He learnt that to claim an idol, he would need to decipher a coded message on the tribe flag to learn the next step. Oh and until he gets the idol, he can’t vote at tribal council.

The tribes came together with Jeffrey for the first immunity challenge of the season where they would race up and over a ramp into a mud pit, drag a bag of coconuts, shoot them in a sack to release keys and then climb a tower, release puzzle pieces and solve it. With the first two to finish claiming immunity and the losing the tribe heading to tribal council and losing their flint. Or just not getting one, if Lulu or Belo keep their losing ways going. Belo got out to the earliest of leads as they powered through the mud, followed by Reba as Lulu took up the rear. Which was how things stayed the entire challenge, obstacle after obstacle, until Reba made it to the puzzle first. Belo managed to make quick work of the puzzle and jag immunity as Lulu remained completely out of things, leaving Reba to snatch the second and put Lulu out of their misery.

Back at camp the tribe went into the ocean to wash off the mud as Hannah admitted to feeling relief over the fact they could actually vote her out and send her home. She told Brandon she was ready to go, though was worried about how she could convince people to flip the vote from Emily to her. Brandon meanwhile tried to convince her to stay as he couldn’t do it without her. Brandon started to break down, crying to Kaleb and Sabiyah about being in so much pain with reflux, while Sabiyah calmly told him he was having a panic attack. Emily caught up with Hannah and Brandon to float the idea of getting rid of Kaleb to break up the strong duo of Kaleb and Sabiyah, so she could hopefully work with her. Sadly for Emily though, Brandon immediately told Kaleb. Who, sadly for Brandon, immediately approached Sean and Hannah to get rid of Brandon for bombing any and all challenges.

At the glam AF tribal council, the tribe lit their torches and got to kiki-ing with Probst as Sean admitted that coming into the game he is questioning everything about himself and who he is. Emily meanwhile felt her personality is just amplified in the game, rather than necessarily being different. Hannah meanwhile opened up about being emotionally wrecked and not sure if she even wants to be here. Sabiyah pointed out that if she wants to go, that is great, though maybe she should wait for a couple of rounds to see if things get better. Emily meanwhile called out Sabiyah and Kaleb for forming a tight alliance, and pointed out that given they are strong, they can dictate what happens.

Talk turned to Brandon bombing all the things with him reiterating he would love to stay and comfort people while Emily desperately wants to work through things and survive. Hannah, who I just realised looks like Jamie Lynn Spears, then pointed out that she would love to see how it could all play out. From the comfort of the couch. And as such, she would happily just quit, rather than having a formal vote. Probst then asked if the tribe would be willing to do a mercy kill, with them all agreeing through tears before Probst up and snuffed her torch, granting her wish. Without even cussing her out like he would in the good old days, like Osten.

As she arrived back at Loser Lodge, she ran into my arms and started jumping up and down, grateful, not just for being back in civilisation but because she now gave us an iconic, memorable first boot. I mean, sure, a cancelled tribal council leaves us with Survivor blue balls, it did protect our newest Queen and future winner, Emily and as such, I will let it slide. So I simply thanked Hannah for her service over a piping hot Beef & Eggplant Fattennah Rose.

This tweaked little Nigella number is perfect for a lady that loves all the glorious comfort of a warm home. Earthy and warming, it is the perfect, rich dish to help work you through any and all problems.

Enjoy!

Beef & Eggplant Fattennah Rose
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
4 Pita Andre Bread, cut into triangles
¼ cup olive oil
1 onion, diced
1 eggplant, diced 2 tsp cumin
2 tsp cumin
2 tsp ground coriander
1 tsp paprika
2 tsp sea salt flakes
500g beef mince
500g Greek yoghurt
75ml tahini
45ml lemon juice
2 garlic cloves, minced
100g pomegranate seeds
2 tbsp mint leaves, roughly chopped

Method
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Toast the pita triangles with 1 tablespoon of olive oil, pop on a lined baking sheet and bake for 10–15 minutes, or until they are crisp. Remove and allow to cool.

Heat the rest of the oil in a large skillet over low heat and cook the onion for five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Crank up to medium and stir through the eggplant, and cook for 10 minutes. Stir in the cumin, coriander, paprike and half the salt with the mince, breaking up the beef with a wooden spoon as you go. Cook for ten minutes or until the beef is cooked through. Remove from heat

Combine the yoghurt, tahini, lemon juice, garlic and a teaspoon of salt in a heatproof bowl. Pop over a double boiler and beat until it is light and thickened.

To assemble, divide the pita chips between plates, top with the beef, followed by the yoghurt and top with a sprinkle of pomegranate and mint. Then devouring.


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Punanilini Bean Dip

Condiment, Dip, Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race France the top five were thrilled to learn they’d be competing in the famed Girl Groups challenge. That is until they learnt that they would be facing off against the eliminated queens, with the best of their fallen sisters battling against the worst of the top five for a chance to return. As such, the dolls gave it their absolute all, working as one and straight up proving just why they made it to the end. That being said, Sara slayed and as such scored her third win of the season. Piche meanwhile, absolutely dominated from the eliminated queens and faced off against Cookie in the lip sync. And used that fire to demolish the lip sync and return to the competition, sending Cookie out in her place.

Backstage Piche tried to hide her jubilation as everyone sadly paid their respects to sweet Cookie. Eventually talk turned to Piche’s return and while the rest of the dolls felt like it was odd and a disappointing way for Cookie to go, Mother Keiona did assure Piche that she was happy for Piche to get another shot at the crown. Because, trust, if she was eliminated she would want another shot.

The next day the dolls were trying to sell the Werk Room to prospective buyers – Down Under, it’s a good space! – before everyone praised Sara on her third win. She meanwhile was just thrilled to be on the up again after a string of bottoms, which is something Piche obviously related to. The clock struck Cocorico as Nicky arrived to pop them through a Weakest Link mini challenge, hosted by the iconique Lova Ladiva. After five minutes to beat their mugs, the dolls ventured to set and well, they were stupid and oh so fun. Though Punani, obviously, stole the show, shouting out her fake sons and living her best life. Sadly though, it was treated like an actual quiz show, so her charm meant nothing and Ms. Mami Watta proved unstoppable as she snatched the win.

But that means nothing because for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be making over rugby players and swoon, my basement is flooded. As were the queens’, though they seemed to be more excited about having new sisters. For winning the mini challenge though, Mami was able to pair the queens taking the zaddiest for herself, giving the bearded zaddy Ryan to Piche, François went to Sara, a lovely man called Ludovic to Kieona leaving Florent for Punani and TBH, it was super fair, as everyone kinda looked like a perfect match.

After Nicky departed the dolls got to know their rugby players with Mami gagged to learn she paired herself with a straight. Though he loved the show thanks to her wife, so that is not nothing, I guess. And hearing him talk about being the Maddy Morphosis of France, essentially, has me delighted. Sara’s player meanwhile was excited to show inclusivity by participating and hoped to make his kids proud, and ugh, like Sara, I am already crying. Keiona meanwhile was lucky to get a gay guy, though he was scared to get rid of his beard while Piche and her player were just vibing and living their best lives. As were Punani and her zaddy, given they are just sweeties. I mean, he practised walking in heels at home to help the process. Sadly though, it didn’t appear to give him much of an advantage as the dolls raced their daughters and he lost.

We then did a hard pivot to a supercut of the dolls shaving their players – except Piche, obviously – before they beated their mugs and bonded even further. Punani’s player, like Sara’s, was thrilled to set an example for his kids and hoped his appearance would contribute to a better world in some way. It then led to Piche opening up about being kicked out of home at 13 after her boyfriend outed her to her parents and seeing everyone, including the rugby players, rally around to comfort her was just beautiful to see. As beautiful as the rugby players felt when they saw themselves in drag for the first time. Because they were all gagged.

Nicky, Daphne and Kiddy were joined on the panel by Nicolas Huchard et La Zarra as Piche and Christabiche fought to be the star of the ball and well, looked a million bucks. Despite being modelled on Cinderella’s ugly step sisters. Mami Watta and Queen Mera went from grannies to glamazonian dominatrixes, and well, swoon. Punani and Lovali were absolute camp delights while Keiona and Lola were pretty in purple, before Sara stole the show with her new sister Divina serving Ed and Pats and yeah, give her her fourth win, I guess. Because it was absolute perfection. Per. Fec. Tion.

Christerbiche was absolutely beloved for looking stunning, though Piche was read for the ill fitting outfits. Queen Mera too was praised for her energy, with Mami in turn was read for not finessing the details. Punani and Lovali were praised for the camp, though read for the outfit falling off Lovali. As Lovali sweetly tried to take the fall for Punani, like an icon. Keiona once again received universal praise before Sara was almost handed the win then and there just for being an absolute star.

Backstage the vibe was upbeat as the dolls bonded further. Well except for Mami, who was worried she was in the bottom. Punani on the other hand was hoping to avoid the bottom, despite the fit issues of the dresses. Oh and then they did a group cocorico. Which is important.

Before getting to the results, the dolls were asked why they should go through to the finale, with Piche sharing she was ready to prove herself. Mami wanted to teach others to dream big, Punani was proud of her growth and ready to cap it off with that win, Keiona was thrilled to take risks and prove she can still grow while Sara was proud of being able to grow to love herself and that she deserves it.

Ultimately, the judges agreed with that as she snatched her fourth win and made her way directly through to the finale. Keiona was next to book her ticket – as she deserves – followed by Mami Watta, leaving Punani and Piche to battle for the final spot. As soon as the lip sync kicked off – to Une femme avec une femme by Mecano, which tragically reminded me we didn’t have any licensing issues this year – it was clear this was Punani’s to lose as she felt all the emotions and channelled her fire for the crown to knock it out of the park. And ultimately book her spot in the finale, sending Piche out the door one final time.

Given we had already dabbled in comfort, I gave Piche a hug and sent her on her way before pulling Punani aside for a bit of a pre-finale perk up. Why Punani you ask? Well, since the other dolls track records were iconic in their own ways – no tops or bottoms for Mami, 4 wins and some lows for Sara and never lower than second for Mother Keiona – I figured Punani deserved it for her more classic trajectory of highs and lows. Which she was ok with, given a pre-finale advantage is a pre-finale advantage. And when it comes in the form of a vat of Punanilini Bean Dip, how could she be disappointed?

Earthy and lightly spiced, this easy dip is so warming and nourishing, it will have you coming back for more. Better still, it is pretty damn healthy, so you don’t even have to contend with guilt.

Enjoy!

Punanilini Bean Dip
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
400g can cannellini beans, drained and rinsed
1 lemon, zested and juiced
2 tbsp olive oil
3 garlic cloves, minced
2 tbsp chargrilled capsicum, drained
2 tbsp fresh flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Pop everything in a food processor and blitz until smooth. Season to taste.

Decant into a small bowl and devour, with your fave crackers.


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Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath

Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Main, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France the remaining dolls were well and truly challenged as Nicky challenged them to throw a little Time Ball. Despite it being one of the more notoriously difficult challenges of the franchise, every single one of them slayed. Nicky decided to get a little shady and asked everyone to name who they think should go home, with the dolls gagging her by agreeing on frontrunner Sara for her single dud look. Not surprisingly, Keoina slayed and snagged her second win with the next gag of the episode being that she wasn’t alone, as Cookie (rightfully) joined her in victory. Moon meanwhile landed in the bottom alongside Sara, however Moon saved the biggest gag for last as she opted to exit the contest before the lip sync.

After Moon’s exit, the dolls returned backstage to talk through how sad they were to see her go, though grateful she put her mental health first. Sara meanwhile was conflicted, feeling a little guilty to have survived without a fight and feeling like she owed her place to Moon.

Things were far more upbeat the next day as the dolls giddily welcomed themselves back for another week. Well, until the cocorico struck and officially welcomed them, that is. Nicky stomped the stairs before ominously mentioning a twist before promptly pulling out the puppets for a cute little mini challenge. Why? Because everybody loves puppets! Duh. Keiona got to read Mami, Punani pulled out Keiona, Sara got Punani and Mami got Cookie, leaving Cookie with Sara. After beating their puppets to varying degrees of success, Keiona was adorbs as she bombed and Cookie served a slutty Sara before Punani arrived and finally bought comedy, as she expertly read Keiona. Sara read Punani for filth and was oh so good, while Mami closed the show brutally reading Cookie. And it was perfect.

Which was all it took to hand her victory.

Before departing, Nicky announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be forming a girl group and performing live to Nicky’s original song. Oh and they were not the only band, as Ginger, Piche, Kitty, Vespi and Rose would be returning to compete for the right to return to the competition. Yep, we have a girl group returning challenge on our hands, All Stars 3 style! The best of the eliminated girls would lip sync against the worst of the top five, with the winner staying in the contest and the loser going home. So either keeping their place in the competition, or stealing a spot back in the new top five.

The OG top five sat down to work through the song and brainstorm choreography as the eliminated queens remained backstage as an ominous spectre over the episode, which TBH, feels like a missed opportunity. Knowing they would be facing a fiery fivetet, Keiona opted to take the lead of the group, working through the choreography and cataloguing the skills of the eliminated queens they were about to battle. They pivoted to the mainstage to properly work on the choreography and damn, the dolls were cohesive, on point and well, I feel sorry for the eliminated queens. Speaking of which, they snuck onto the stage to work through their choreography and catch up with the current top five. 

As the eliminated queens worked through their own choreo – with Piche showing the top of her thong, swoon – the top five ventured backstage to beat their mugs and reflect on the competition thus far and kiki about how close they have gotten. Talk turned to their respective profiles and how they’ve had to adapt their work the more famous they have gotten. They then spoke about the different spaces they work within and how people – particularly in America – have a misconception of how sexualised drag is and well, it is not the case and people just need to fuck right off. My words, not theirs.

Nicky, Daphne and Kiddy were joined by Victor Weinsanto and Virginie Despentes as the eliminated queens stomped the stage for their performance and well, let’s just say Piche was Piche perfect from start to finish. She had all the energy and lines, pulling focus through every single solo and well, it was not even close. The top five meanwhile were a little more even as everyone came to fight, dancing in complete synchronicity and all around proving just why they made the top five in the first place.

On the Brillex pour nous runway Keiona slayed as she vogued down the runway in a gorgeous blue and gold sequined jumpsuit, giving Cleopatra of the ballroom. Mami gave shimmering face, nips and corset, Cookie gave sparkly nude illusion and well, it was kind of a mess, Sara meanwhile brought the drama in a full length black sequin gown with reversible sequin embellishment like the kids Ts at H&M and yeah, it was a slay. Despite the fucking H&M reference. While Punani shone head to toe as a straight up cartoon character.

Keiona, as usual, received universal praise for being a killer performer and slaying the hell out of the runway. Despite the fact the judges felt she brought herself down to her sisters level when it came to the choreography. Mami was beloved for her magnetism in the challenge and for making the runway work. Cookie meanwhile was read for being the weakest of the dolls in the performance, though they loved her camp runway. Sara meanwhile received universal praise for dominating the performance and giving all the drama on the runway. While Punani received top marks for giving comedy in the performance and serving a very creative runway.

Backstage the dolls toasted making it to the first go at the top five, with everyone agreeing how strong they performed and how nice it was to work together as one in the challenge. Talk turned to their competition with everyone agreeing Piche was far and away the star on that team. Cookie meanwhile felt she would be the one lip syncing tonight, though assured us and her sisters that she has fared well thus far and as such, has no fear about saving herself. Again.

Ultimately Sara took out her third win of the season, booking her spot in the semi finals alongside Keiona, Punani and Mami, leaving Cookie to battle for the final spot alongside Piche. Because duh. As soon as Et alors! by Shy’m kicked off, Piche kept the fire from the performance, stomping the floor and killing every damn moment; voguing and flipping, fierce and funny, she gave everything and rightly earned her place back in the competition as a sweet and gracious Cookie exited stage left.

Given Cookie left with such grace and humility, I was at a bit of a loss for words backstage, given I regularly have to remind them how good they are and that winning isn’t everything. While the latter is a lie (it is), the first is always true, but thankfully, given Cookie is such a damn star, she never lost sight of that. So all I had to do was give her a big hug, congratulate her on a stellar run and career, and toast it off with a Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath.

You thought we were going to go with a cookie, didn’t you? Nope! When it looks like we’re going to zig, sometimes, we zag even if it needs to be shoehorned a little. But when it tastes as good as this – sweet, rich and a little camp – who cares what it’s called. Something, something rose by any other name, and all that.

Enjoy!

Chickie & Pumpkunty Wreath
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
800g butternut pumpkin, deseeded and cut into a 3cm dice
salt and pepper, to taste
1 onion, sliced
500g chicken breast, diced
300g ricotta
1 cup fresh basil and parsley leaves, roughly chopped
¼ cup pine nuts, toasted
¼ cup parmesan cheese, grated
1 lemon, zested
4 garlic cloves, crushed
1 tsp chilli flakes
½ cup sundried tomatoes, drained and cut into strips
1 egg, whisked
2 sheets puff pastry, just thawed
2 tbsp mixed sesame seeds, to sprinkle

Method
Preheat the oven to 190C and line a large baking tray with baking paper. Toss the pumpkin in half the oil, season with a good whack of salt and pepper and bake for 30 minutes or until golden and tender. Transfer to a plate lined with a paper towel and leave to drain.

Heat the rest of the olive oil in a large frying pan over medium heat and sweat the onion for a couple of minutes. Add the chicken breast and cook for about ten minutes, or until the chicken is cooked through. Drain off all the excess fat and leave to cool.

Combine the ricotta, herbs, pine nuts, lemon zest, garlic, chilli and sundried tomatoes in a bowl. Stir and fold through the pumpkin, chicken and onion with a good whack of salt and pepper.

To assemble, place the pastry on the bench and cut in half. Press three together to form a long rectangle. Place the filling in a line down the centre, brush a side with some egg and roll the pastry to enclose. Slowly shape the log into a wreath, brushing the end with egg and pressing to close. Transfer to the fridge to set for about fifteen minutes.

Once the wreath has firmed up, cut the remaining pastry into strips. Brush the wreath with some egg, hatch the remaining pastry over the top for artistic flair – why the hell not, right? Brush with egg one final time, sprinkle with the sesame seeds and transfer the wreath to the oven to bake for about 45 minutes, or until golden and cooked through. Remove from the oven to rest for about 15 minutes before carving, serving and most importantly, devouring.


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Ivanna Drink

Drink, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 3, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race Down Under the dolls took some erotic boudoir photos with the help of the Pit Crew. Obviously the resulting images ranged from smutty and trashy to sexy and camp, so it was a big win in my book. Ru then surprised them by announcing they were all  invited to Muriel’s Wedding, and that they’d be making their own outfits to attend. Out of the bedding they just brutalised. The outfits ranged from bad to worse, with Ivory and Rita bombing badly, while Ivanna’s well constructed dress landed her in the bottom three for being unlined and unsteamed. Which seemed harsh, comparatively. Isis meanwhile took out victory as a blushing bride, while Ivory and Rita lined up to lip sync for their lives. Only Ivory fainted and it got delayed. Though I did serve her up a little treat to help perk her back up and give her a fighting chance.

The next day after Ru swatted a fly – I assume the one that came for Flor episode 1 – Rita and Ivory took their places on the stage ready for the briefly delayed execution. And as soon as Murder on the Dancefloor kicked off, it was clear our Kiwi icon had no interest in going home. She was silly, sassy and a little slutty and while she looked like she bruised her coccyx on a split, there was no denying she was winning. So despite my culinary boost, poor Ivory was sent to sashay away. Though got paid for a third episode, like a damn icon.

The rest of the dolls were sitting in the Werk Room waiting to find out who was going home and while most of them felt Ivory wouldn’t be returning, Isis felt her redemption story could just be enough to save her. While Hollywould just wanted her to stick around so they could bond enough for her to give her one of her wigs. Ru then dropped by to confirm most of their suspicions, as Rita sashayed back into the competition. And to celebrate, this week they would be starring in an Ultimate Girls Trip reunion for the Fake Housewives of Down Under, hosted by Rhys. Which immediately filled sweet Rita with dread, given she is not an actress.

Thankfully though, she got to be a team captain – alongside Isis, as the winner of the previous challenge – so could surround herself with strong queens. Isis wisely selected Gabriella first, followed by Hollywould and Ivanna, while Rita went with Bumpa, Flor – against her wishes – and was left with Ashley. Though bless, Ashley was looking forward to proving them all wrong since nobody chose her.

After Ru departed, the groups split up to work through their outlines with Team Isis feeling super confident. Particularly Gabriella, who desperately wanted the role of Shazza but when Isis asked for it instead, she pointed out that she would slay any role and as such, she was happy to just take whatever was leftover. And oh god, she is going to slay, isn’t she? Even with the character with minimal screen time. The dolls turned their attention to the other team with everyone agreeing Flor struggles to pick up on jokes and as such, improv could be a problem for her. But TBH, I am confident she is going to be one of the stars of the team. And by one of, she will shine with Bumpa. While Rita wanted the housewife recently released from prison, given it reminds her of her family, she ultimately let it go to Bumpa and took the anchor piece. Which furthers my theory Bumpa will be unstoppable.

Team Isis were first up to set with Rhys, with Gabriella a star from start to finish, while Hollywould was bland and Ivanna was forgettable. Isis was kinda solid though? In Team Rita, Flor and Bumpa were completely demented from start to finish while Ashley took chewing up the scenery literally, chewing gum and not much else. And well, Rita’s fears were sadly realised as she bombed. Bad. Though to be fair, you’d probably describe both of the scenes that way. Producers, call me if you want an interesting acting challenge next year, ok? I mean, Gaybours is right there.

Elimination Day arrived with Gabriella admitting she is feeling rather confident about taking out the win, while Rita was pretty much at peace with lip syncing. Flor felt she well and truly did enough to be safe, while Bumpa was worried she didn’t do enough. Ivanna meanwhile split the difference, completely sure she did enough to be safe, while her sisters viewed her performance as bottom worthy. The dolls split up to beat their villainous mugs, cackling through it and just being all around delights, TBH.

Ru, Michelle and Rhys – thankfully still full of jokes – were joined on the panel by Adam Lambert as Rita kicked off the Bad Girls Gone Bad Runway looking perfect as a slutty, female Riff Raff. Bumpa served ancient queen of the damned, Flor was glorious as Ezma – iconic – Ashley gave glamour Catwoman, Ivanna gave a more basic Catwoman, Isis gave Gaga in AHS Hotel and well, it was perfection. Hollywould gave the upcycled version of Bumpa’s look and Gabriella was a stunning Harley Quinn, complete with roller skating.

Ashley and Hollywould were sent to safety before Rita was read for just being safe in the challenge, despite everyone agreeing both of her looks were stunning. Bumpa meanwhile was beloved for giving a demented yet grounded performance, Flor was praised for being absolutely bonkers, despite it annoying the shit out of Michelle. Oh and then Ru mistook her saying her villain was Ezma as It’s Mine, which had her cackling. So yeah, she is definitely safe. Ivanna meanwhile was read for being safe and forgettable in the challenge, while they loved her look but wished she gave some wig. Isis was loved for all that she did, while Gabriella was ditto ten fold, given she was the clear breakout of the episode.

Backstage Ashley was thrilled to be safe, while Hollywould was pressed given she was sure she was a top in the challenge and the best on the runway. As they speculated who would be lip syncing, the tops and bottoms rejoined them with Gabriella thrilled for her as-yet-unannounced-win, while everyone was shocked about Bumpa being in the top. Even Bumpa. Ashley was obviously pressed about it and confronted her, while Bumpa gave zero fucks, given they are both safe and just doesn’t care. Ivanna meanwhile was in her head, disappointed that she appears to be choking every time she is in front of the red light.

Ultimately Gabriella did take out the win before Bumpa, Flor and Isis were sent to safety, leaving Ivanna and Rita to battle for the final slot. And as soon as Glambert’s version of Holding Out for a Hero started, it was clear the dolls were down for a fight. Ivanna was fun and high energy while Rita was in the pocket the entire time, feeling all the emotion and hitting every letter. So despite bookending the episode in the bottom, she lived to fight another day as Ivanna was sent out the door. In eighth place. Just like Anita.

After she got off the phone to Anita, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that like Anita, she left a mark on the competition. She was upbeat and fun, and frankly a little bit robbed in Week 2, which according to my calculations, almost makes her a robbed goddess and if you land in the middle of the pack, that is better than outstaying your welcome. While that was obviously a shitty peptalk, it seemed to do enough of a trick as Ivanna was giddily happy afterwards. Though maybe that had more to do with the round after round of Ivanna Drinks I served up?

Packing a glorious punch of tart raspberry and lime, this cocktail is the perfect refreshing drink for a warm spring afternoon. Or to drown your sorrows after having your dreams crushed in a reality competition series.

Enjoy!

Ivanna Drink
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
lime wedges and sea salt flakes, for rim
¾ cup frozen pitted cherries
½ cup bourbon
⅓ cup fresh lime juice
2 tbsp simple syrup
soda water, to top up

Method
Rub a lime wedge around the rim of two old fashioned glasses and dip with sea salt.

Pop the cherries, bourbon, lime juice and syrup in a blender, and blitz on high until cherries are completely blended and you’ve got a deep red drink. 

Ice the glass, pour over the cocktail and top with a dash of soda water. Then down.


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Ginger Beerch

Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Drink, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France the dolls played le Snatch Game, which I believe is a perfect translation, despite my middling grasp of the French language. As is oft the case with the foreign seasons, I may not have been completely across the celebs they were playing, but I could tell when people were landing and tragicaly, when they weren’t (mainly due to rattlesnake cues). Moon, Keiona and Punani were the former and absolutely slayed – the latter in front of the person she was playing – while Ginger, Sara and Piche bombed. And tragically, despite winning a challenge, Piche was somehow eliminated over Ginger. I assume because she couldn’t do shit in the lip sync wearing that (killer) runway.

Backstage the dolls were feeling just as heartbroken as I was to see Piche exit so soon, with Punani toasting her for being a sickening performer, despite her shyness. Ginger meanwhile was proud of how hard she fought in the lip sync, despite the gown, though was grateful to have another chance to shine this week. Which did not bother Keiona one bit, who was ready to escalate from high to a win, finally. Everyone came together to praise Punani for an absolute breakout week and seeing her grow in confidence, despite being quieter than some of her sisters, was a delight. But when they started to shade Keiona for being high yet again, you know it was the final bit of petrol on the fire and she is ready to demolish each and every one of them. Like a damn icon.

This week the dolls played hide and seek as they returned to the Werk Room with Sara hilariously winning that too. Because she is what? A winner. The clock struck cocorico, signalling the arrival of sweet Nicky, to send them to Fort Boyard for a little mini challenge. And after a cheeky little wikipedia, I am excited. The dolls joined the zaddy Pit Crew to find keys to unlock their cock cages by dipping their hands into random crap. Cookie dipped her hand in shit – or nutella, I hope – Punani got hair, Sara squealed through thick slime, Moon got toy snakes, Ginger got the wet sponge in honour of Monet, Keiona bossed some spiky toys and Mami fingered pasta. One by one the dolls tried their keys, with Keiona coming out victorious. Winning a puffer vest which is clearly bad in France, so let the private school kids and Queen St cowboys know asap.

With that out of the way, Nicky announced that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would star in the rusical, Le Bossu de Notre Drag. And for winning the mini challenge, Keiona had the power to assign the roles, making her even more popular with her sisters. They sat down to listen to the musical, with all the dolls excitedly vibing with the script before coming back together for Keiona to wield her powers by letting everyone list their top three preferences and filling the roles that way. She ultimately kept the lead role of Quasimolo for herself, giving the narrator to Cookie, Boulangère to Mami and Moon got Malo. Ginger meanwhile got pressed about Sara and Punani working together – and taking a role she wanted – while Cookie sided with the quiet duo, leaving Ginger with the role that nobody wanted.

Jour d’elimination quickly arrived with everyone stressed about performing live on the mainstage, though thankfully, they felt more united amongst the chaos. As they beat their mugs, Keiona opened up about cutting her father off for being judgemental though hilariously just hoped to make him regret it now that she is a star. Punani meanwhile spoke about how her parents came around to drag when realising it is more than just dressing up. This turned conversation to the perception that it is a hypersexualised profession and how it is great that Drag Race has changed how it is viewed. Well, except in America but don’t get me started on that. Moon meanwhile spoke about how she fought to play a man in the rusical to fight against the fact she had to break out of the male coded body to finally live her truth and ugh, I love her too.

Nicky, Daphne and Kiddy were joined by Barbara Butch and Juliette Armanet on the panel as the dolls put on the opening and closing night of Le Bossu de Notre Drag. And like Spain before them, it was loooooonnnnngg. Though also very good. Not Season 6 Adore vs. Courtney good, but it was good. Particularly Keiona, Cookie and Moon who were pitch perfect in each and every moment. Nicky meanwhile was crying from the panel, grateful to all of them for working so hard and delighting each and every one of them. Daphne was crying, Juliette was crying and ugh, it was beautiful to see the full cast get their roses.

On the Excess Couture runway Cookie was stunning in a little black dress with a big, pink train and ugh, did I mention it was stunning? Even if the pink looked like a scrunchie. Sara was stunning as she served seamstress chic, Keiona slayed in a stunning, voluminous, deep teal floral gown – just give her a win finally, damn it – Punani served wire hanger and a cute green gown, Ginger was wrapped in a giant belt in honour of Gaultier, Moon slayed in a camp cowgirl showerpuff number, and Mami slayed in a pastel pink, puffy bowed jumpsuit.

The judges praised everyone for slaying the runway ahead of lavishing Cookie for being absolutely stunning on the runway and a star in the rusical. Sara was praised for working so well with Punani and for giving such a creative, camp runway. Keiona was beloved for everything she did this week, from the ballroom inspired runway to getting gritty and warm in the rusical, making all of the judges truly feel something. Punani was praised for a strong performance in the rusical and for looking good on the runway, though they admitted they felt she was outshone by Sara. Ginger’s runway was beloved and while they felt she did well in the rusical, they needed her to change her makeup to avoid looking like a villain. Moon got us back to more wall to wall, overt praise; beloved for taking a risk and pulling it off. While they lived for Mami’s runway and for her being so much fun in the rusical.

Backstage the dolls were thrilled about how well received they all were this week, though unsure what it meant for the lip sync, since they were so good. As they spoke about how well cast the rusical was, Ginger spoke out and said she wasn’t happy to have been left with the dud role and as such was worried it would land her in the bottom. This fired up Cookie – who got the role she wanted – with her frankly calling her bitter as they bickered back and forth. Thankfully Keiona reminded her she was still great in the role, but was immediately shut down by the feuders to let them continue.

Ultimately Keiona rightly took out her first win of the season to the delighted applause of her sisters. Cookie, Moon, Mami and Sara were then sent to safety, leaving Punani and Ginger to lip sync for the lives. Because despite the judges agreeing the dolls were all perfect in the challenge, someone must go. Punani then said it was her second lip sync for her life, curiously, as Le dernier jour du disco by Juliette and while Punani wasn’t confident as a lip syncer, she felt each and every moment and absolutely slayed, giving all the drama. Ginger meanwhile was camp and fun, though tragically similar to last week’s performance, which was enough to save our dear Punani and send Ginger to the house. Bitch.

As she returned to the Werk Room, I pulled her in for a massive hug and praised her for being such a delightful, uplifting icon. While she may not have made it as far as she would have liked, she made an impression on our hearts and I reminded her that TBH, that is all that really matters. Which was a super half-arsed peptalk, but it was also highly effective and as such, we simply toasted her run with a cool glass of Ginger Beerch.

I know, I know – why make a ginger beer when you could just by one. But honestly, you haven’t lived until you’ve had it fresh; warming and zingy, it is the perfect beverage for curing what ails ya’.

Enjoy!

Ginger Beerch
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 cups raw caster sugar
300g fresh ginger, peeled and thinly sliced
1 cup lemon juice
1L soda water
ice, to serve

Method
Pop the sugar and ginger in  saucepan with a litre of water and cook, stirring over low heat, until the sugar has dissolved. Bring to a simmer and cook for about 20 minutes, or until a gloriously pungent syrup has formed. Strain and leave to cool.

Once the ginger is chill, pour into a jug with the lemon juice and give a good stir. Then stir in the soda water and serve over ice. With or without a sprig of mint, for extra freshness. Then down.


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Vespeach and Haloumi Pitas

Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Main, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race France Nicky reminded us – again – how popular the first season was resulting in Paloma’s triumphant victory. Begging the question, is that going to open every episode? Because I both live, and lol. We then pivoted to the actual recap, which was that last week 11 new queens arrived and immediately dropped an absolute banger as they wrote and recorded a new Drag Race France anthem. While there were a trio of iconic performances, Sara Forever took out the first win of the season – justice for Keiona and Punani – while Rose and Kitty Space were deemed the weakest, landing them in the bottom. Being a dancing queen, Kitty was able to turn a show and save herself, sending Rose out of the competition first. As the La Kahena of the season.

Backstage Kitty was holding back tears as she returned to read the mirror message, heartbroken to lose such a sweetheart like Rose. And, you know, to realise that the competition is real. Punani meanwhile was truly gutted to have lost her best friend, while Sara just felt intimidated about what she will be facing each week as they are all so fierce. Despite proving herself fiercest as the winner of the first challenge. 

The next day the top ten had wipes their tears and marched in ready to slay another week. As they speculated what the next challenge could be, they were interrupted by the cocorico signalling the arrival of Nicky. And this week’s mini challenge, where they would get into panda drag in just 15 minutes and they boots the house down to Pandi-Panda which I think was all translated correctly. Thankfully the zaddy Pit Crew were wheeled out with a few supplies and after the queens ravaged their box, they got to work getting Pandafied. Well, Mami did, the rest just looked hilarious. One by one the dolls got up – and off – and slayed their pandied self, dancing in the most unhinged ways until Moon was deemed the victor. I assume for being the most unhinged. 

Before departing Nicky announced that for this week’s maxi challenge they would be throwing a little old talent show. In front of the cast of Season 1. The dolls immediately split up to prepare for the show, with everyone confident they’d be able to impress their Season 1 sisters. Keiona, obviously, was excited to bring some legit vogueing to the mainstage, while Mami opened up to the doll’s that her family doesn’t know she does drag due to how religious they are. To the point her mother signed her up for conversion therapy, and how she still speaks about her mother with so much love in her heart, says all you need to know about Mami. Because that is some fucked-up, horrid behaviour yet Mami continues to be kind. Moon admitted that conversion therapy is still a thing in Switzerland too with some of her friends having had ECT as part of it and oh god, fuck the world and just let everyone live.

The conversation turned more broadly to parents and hearing Moon talk about how parents have a job to accept their kids and make their lives easier sounds so simple but for some people, they just seem to get it so, so wrong.

We did a hard pivot from the trauma bonding of the queens to the mainstage where Nicky, Daphne and Kiddy were joined by Zahia Dehar on the panel before the dolls of Season 1 were bused in to join the audience. And then, and only then, did Keiona take the stage to open the show and absolutely demolish as she vogued the house down and showed just why she is a legend. Punani then was adorable as she gave the stupidest, camp ‘80s workout routine. It was absurd and just perfect. Vespi meanwhile was trollied in with a disco ball on her head until it split in half half-way through, ruining her reveal during a camp robot dance number. Sara Forever then gave demon moan realness before busting out opera lip sync and well, I live. Because they are all ridiculous. Ginger then went a more traditional route, serving comedy with a messy wig and had the judges in stitches. Kitty then bombed with a skit before it pivoted into a sexy dance number.

Well, I think. She was carried a lot?

Mami then gave a powerful dance in honour of her African heritage, complete with a living gown and yeah, it was iconic and I love her, so I don’t care what the judges think. Cookie then did a puppet show and again, it was unhinged, so I love it. Moon then did a lip sync to reveal a claw fingered creature with paint on its fingers which she used to paint a portrait. And again, I live. Piche then stuck with something more traditional, showing off her pipes with vocal runs and all the notes before giving a full R&B performance in the cutest damn tracksuits and yeah, give her the win because it was good. Really good. Whether I am crushing on her or not. 

On the 2 in 1 runway, Cookie went from suit to evening gown however the suit was still visible, so I’m not happy. Keiona went from sexy zebra to a red gowned vixen. Sara served penis to vulva, lika a damn icon, before Punani went from winter to spring and Kitty went from the caged bird to glamorous phoenix. Moon went from Gen Z influencer to boxing bra, Ginger gave Jackie Kennedy to Marilyn – eventually – Mami went from bug to artist’s canvas, complete with her buns out before Vespi went from virgin bride to goddess. But again, struggled with her headwear. Piche then went from Arlesian to a stunning flamenco gown and again, give her the win. 

Ginger, Cookie, Sara, Mami, Vespi, Keiona and Piche were summoned forward as the tops and bottoms, with the Punani, Kitty and Moon heading backstage to untuck. Cookie’s talent show was read for being too safe and for being stuck in her head. Keoina obviously received universal praise for her performance and the runway, leading to her breaking down over how happy she is to be cutting through with the judges and respresenting ballroom. Sara once again was beloved for her – unhinged – performance, Ginger’s runway received top marks as did her killer comedy before Mami was read for having a strong start in the talent show, though going nowhere after that. Vespi meanwhile was praised for her outfit though read for offering no reveal and for the general mishaps in the talent show. Piche on the otherhand received universal praise for the perforamnce and for giving a full moment on the runway.

Backstage the dolls reconvened with Piche very excited by how much the judges love her, while Keiona was worried her runway would cost her the win. Mami meanwhile was in her feels, worried about potentially lip syncing as the dolls rallied to remind her how much they loved her runway. Vespi too was sure she was lip syncing as Cookie felt like her inner saboteur had gotten her tonight.

Ultimately Keiona’s fears were correct as she was sent to safety alongside Sara and Ginger before Piche took out her first win of the season. As she deserves. Vespi was then sent straight through to the bottom before Mami was sent to safety, leaving Cookie to join the battle for survival. But as soon as Lara Fabian’s Tout kicked off – again, gagged we’re hearing thisin Australia and not hold music – it was clear that she was not going anywhere, feeling all the emotions and hitting every lyric. Not to say Vespi didn’t slay, as she did, destroying her garment as she stripped off, but sadly, this is the kind of song that lends itself to a legend and Cookie knocked it out of the park, saving herself and sending Vespi out of the competition.

Backstage, sweet Vespi was in her feels, heartbroken to be out of the competition so soon. Particularly since a lot of it came down to things going wrong for her, rather than the concepts. I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that she still got to show off her talent and given the hijinks, it kind of made her more iconic and as such, she should be able to benefit from it. Kinda like the French version of Farrah Moan. With that, she was pretty chuffed – I mean, hello All Stars – and gladly sat down to celebrate her brief run with some Vespeach and Haloumi Pitas.

Sweet, sticky and salty, these little veggie kebabs are such a surprising delight. Everyone’s favourite squeaky cheese works perfectly with the peach to provide a surprising, delicious summer BBQ treat that will have you coming back time and time again.

Enjoy!

Vespeach and Haloumi Pitas
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
540g haloumi, cut into 2cm strips
4 yellow peaches, pitted and cut into segments
60ml olive oil
8 sprigs thyme leaves
⅓ cup honey
1 tsp chilli flakes
1 lemon, juiced
salt and pepper, to taste
¼ cup basil leaves
8 Pita Andre Bread

Method
Pop a griddle pan over medium-high heat as you thread haloumi and peach onto skewers, alternating as you go, until you fill the skewer. Brush the skewers with oil and once the pan is scorching, add the skewers and cook for a few minutes each side until they are crisp and have a little bit of char about them. Remove from the heat and keep warm.

Combine the thyme, honey and chilli flakes in a saucepan and cook over medium heat for a few minutes, stirring as you go, until it is caramelised. Stir in the lemon juice and immediately remove from the heat. Season to taste.

Pour the syrup over the skewers and serve with the pitas and a generous helping of basil.


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Jessiclaw Wild

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, Salad, Side, Snack, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on All Stars Alexis alluded to an alliance with Kandy as a way to explain why she chose to eliminate Lala, despite her promise to never forget her saving her the week before. Sadly though, it only made Jessica and Jimbo more nervous about the NYC producer. The top four then roasted Carson, with Alexis getting a few laughs, Jessica a complete delight, Kandy going in hard and Jimbo, well, Jimbo’ed. Absolutely perfect as she roasted Carson in pitch-perfect character as Joan Rivers. She then faced off against THE lip sync assassin Silky Nutmeg Ganache and somehow won her first ever lip sync. And promptly sent Alexis home. In full bologna clown character, which makes the win make so much more sense.

Backstage the dolls were feeling their oats, none more so than Jimbo, who was just thrilled to have won a lip sync. Kandy tried to bring her back down to earth, reminding her that she lost three this season alone. After they sat down Jessica looked into Jimbo’s box – exposing balls – before opening the other box, gagging everyone with the fact they all voted against Alexis while she in turn voted for Jessica. Kandy admitted that she knew that Alexis was never pulling her name, admitting that she believed they were aligned, however in Kandy’s mind, they were never aligned because she couldn’t trust her after Lala gate. And while it is hilariously iconic, Jimbo still worried whether she could trust Kandy should she take out the next challenge.

The next day the top three were giddy to have made it so far before Ru dropped by to announce that they still have a couple more challenges to get through if they want the crown. But first, the mini challenge, where they would have to transform their torso into the next JPG fragrance. After getting into quick drag and hot glueing their designs, Jessica slayed her Forbidden Juice and I love that for her. Kandy was stunning as she sold My Muse, while Jimbo – obviously – was hilarious selling Lady Nightshade. Sadly though, it was nothing to compete with the charm of Jessica Wild who took out victory. Ru then announced that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be making over three of our lesbian sisters and after Amanda-Faye, Angie and Lisa introduced themselves, they dove into a box to pull their very own lipsticks. With Jimbo and Amanda-Faye pairing up and Angie pulling Kandy, leaving Jessica and Lisa. 

After Ru departed the dolls got to know their new sisters, with Angie opening up to Kandy about how nervous she was to go back into playing with femininity. But damn, hearing Kandy talk about her love for her mothers and how she uses drag to love herself and that she hopes to be able to do that for Angie, I am all in on the Kandy train. Kandy then unveiled her ‘50s inspired looks before naming her sister Kookie and well, I love them. Jessica and Lisa meanwhile were busy being adorable, with Lisa happy to do whatever is needed despite being shy. They spoke about how hard it was to grow up being bullied throughout high school and watching them trauma bonding was just so sweet and I would do anything for them. Jimbo and Amanda meanwhile were laughing it up and heaping each other with praise and well, I love it too. 

And the fact Jimbo packed her Canada’s Drag Race entry look like a thrifty icon.

Despite having the easiest person to work with, Kandy started to spiral about having to rely on someone else to make it through to the finale. Ru interrupted the spiral to kiki with her and Kookie, with Kandy getting top marks for their concept and Kookie, some tips for walking in heels. Jimbo and Amanda-Faye had Ru laughing as they caught up, before they locked in their slutty concept. While Lisa – aka Kitty Wild – thrilled to finally be able to own her femininity and no longer be triggered by it. And ugh, I love Jessica and her desire to just make Lisa feel confident.

And then Ru announced that in addition to the makeover, the duos would each have to perform a lip sync performance to Ru’s new mash-up single. Jimbo and Amanda-Faye were first up to work through their lip sync and while Jimbo told her to let go of her nerves and have fun. That statement though made her very nervous. Jessica and Lisa meanwhile were on the struggle bus, while Kandy and Kookie were killing, thanks to Kandy acting like a stage mother. And yeah, this feels like it is her episode.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to get their newest sisters ready for their mainstage debut. Lisa opened up about how nervous she was to talk to Ru yesterday, while Jessica was thrilled at her confidence growing. And again, I love them. Jimbo meanwhile was assuring her sister that she is glad they’ve gone the fem route rather than clowning, given she just wants her to have a good time. While Kookie broke down over how grateful she was to embrace her femininity and work through her lingering trauma about it. The dolls opened up about how they identify before they discussed who can use the D and F words, with them all agreeing that the most important thing is the intention behind the way they are spoken within community. Oh and then there was an absolute mad panic to finish their mugs.

Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined by the one and only Zooey Deschanel as Jessica and Kitty Wild opened up the runway looking so confident and stunning and serving all the family resemblance. Jimbo and Sissy Delicious were shiny, slutty and camp as hell, having the absolute best time. Kandy and Kookie then served perfection from start to finish. They were stunning, cute and camp and damn, Kandy can PAINT. Jessica was praised for the closeness she and her new sister served and how alike they looked, though the judges wished their shoes looked more alike. Jimbo was praised for how adorable they were, despite the simplicity of the looks. While Kandy received wall to wall praise for the entire concept and delivery and yeah, congratulations Kandy! 

But before Ru could make any official announcements, the duos took the stage back-to-back-to-back to serve their lip syncs. And damn they were all so much fun, but again, Kandy and Kookie were far and away the stand outs and ugh, I live for it. Obviously Kandy took out a very well deserved victory, leaving our frontrunner and the people’s queen in the bottom. Oh and Ru explained that no matter what happens in the lip sync, Kandy gets to decide who goes home. Essentially, given it is guaranteed to finish in a tie.

Backstage the top three and their sisters spoke about how exciting it was to take the stage together, heaping each other with praise for all they achieved. And ugh, I just love hearing all this queer on queer love as we truly are stronger together. Jessica led the dolls in congratulating Kandy, with her in turn telling her new sister that she never feared working with her given she was just so open. Jessica and Jimbo meanwhile were disappointed to be in the bottom, though accepted that they really are only there because they are down to three. As Kandy pointed out this is the first time they’d go down to a top two for an episode, Zooey dropped by untuck and damn she is as sweet as she is in Elf and I love it.

After she and the newest queens departed, Kandy and the dolls kikied with Kandy admitting that she could easily be a bitch and eliminate Jimbo, given it would make it easier for her to get the crown. With Jimbo trying to massage Kandy’s feet to live another day. When it came for Jessica’s turn, she instead focused on their latina roots and the fact that she is a veteran that has been working since Kandy was a kid. 

With that Jessica and Jimbo voted for each other before Kandy made her decision and ventured to the mainstage before Priyanka was revealed as the final lip sync assassin of the season. And bless, she finally got to meet Ru! And as soon as Destiny’s Child Jumpin’ Jumpin’ kicked off, it was clear that she was not blowing her chance of appearing on All Winners 2 as she split, flipped and all around slayed the show. And while Kandy was hilarious and sexy – I mean, you can see her lisp when lip syncing – it was clear Priyanka won Ru’s heart and rightly scored victory. After Kandy was sent to the back of the stage, Priyanka then promptly pulled both Jimbo and Jessica’s lipsticks from her titties, meaning Kandy had to leg it back to the front of stage before she stayed loyal to her ally and sent the iconic Jessica Wild home.

Ideally to win the Fame Games.

Backstage Jessica timidly tip toed her way to the corner of the Werk Room where I was screaming and throwing shit at the wall. She pulled me in for a hug and reminded me that while it isn’t Taco Tuesday, both she and I will be fine and that she had the best time. After a few hours of talking me through my rage, I admitted that like Katya before her, being a robbed goddess of All Stars is often more lucrative than the actual win and knowing that, I instantly perked back up. And then toasted her success with a Jessiclaw Wild.

While I know that the conventional wisdom is that you don’t make friends with salad, this sweet, vibrant slaw may just be (yet another) exception to the rule. Creamy and rich, tart and flavourful, it is the ultimate accompaniment to a little fried chicken or pulled pork. Which would make wonderful tacos, no?

Enjoy!

Jessiclaw Wild
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 cup Shayonnaise Swain
1 lemon, zested and juiced
2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
2 tbsp wholegrain mustard
1 tsp celery salt
salt and pepper, to taste
½ head red cabbage, very thinly sliced
2 carrots, julienned
1 red onion, diced
2 sticks celery, thinly sliced
¼ cup flat leaf parsley, roughly chopped
1 tbsp thyme, finely chopped
1 tbsp rosemary, finely chopped

Method
Whisk together the mayonnaise, lemon zest and juice, vinegar, mustard and celery salt in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper.

Fold through the cabbage, carrots, onion, celery and herbs and mix until well combined. Cover and pop in the fridge for a couple of hours to allow to chill and the flavours to come together. Then and only then, does one devour.


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Apple and Rosemary Cake

Baking, Cake, Dessert, Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France ten queens arrived ready to dazzle and delight Ru’s iconic smoking baby Nicky Doll. And dazzled they did, with wit, charm, skin and cocoricos on the reg, that by the end of the season I may not have understood everything they said, but I had a thorough understanding of the love I felt for them. Honestly, I would have been happy with any of the top five taking out the crown and while Soa was my clear favourite, there is no denying that Paloma demolished the competition and well and truly deserved her crown. And how sweet of her to return to the Werk Room to leave the dolls a little welcome mirror message to commence handing over the crown!

Speaking of the new dolls, first we met Mami Watta with all the abs, looking fresh off a snowy beach holiday and I love everything about her vibe. And by vibe, passion for serving body. She was joined by Sara Forever rocking a pink cowbell and well, it is absurd and I love her and her rocker energy. And the fact her neck line served vulva. As they kikied about being a star, Ginger Bitch arrived serving old Kam Hugh and I live for every moment of it. Next in was Moon serving witchy realness in chartreuse and well, I love the oooky, kooky spookiness. And her horniness for Mami. Kitty Space joined the fray serving both of those things, and was oh so expensive. 

Bearded zaddy Piche was next through the door – eventually – serving architectural avant garde and well, he is a zaddy, so you know I’mma stan. Rose soon followed dressed, as you would expect, as a Rose, giving big Joe Black energy and immediately snatching my heart. Cookie Kunty was next through the door giving big French Jennifer Tilly energy and again, I stan. All my former shower puffs arrived with Vespi who revealed herself to be a star covered disco diva and I love her Courtney Act energy. We were then graced with the presence of the one and only Keiona Revlon, ballroom legend and like Sasha and Jimbo before her, crown her now. We then got an extra, eleventh contestant, in the form of Rose’s performance partner Punani who gave Vivian Vanderpuss energy in green and while I love to see it, I hate that one of them will get the Sugar treatment.

As they debated whether this was the full cast or whether there would be a dozen of them, Nicky dropped by to welcome her daughters and confirm that yes, the 11 of them were the full cast. And to celebrate, they’d immediately be facing a little photoshoot mini challenge! With the zaddy pit crew and their skimpy panties for back-up, obviously. La premier reina to the floral swing photoshoot was Rose who looked right at home in the garden, until the fans kicked off and blew her around. Kitty Space fell off the swing, but got the shot, Vespi didn’t sweat, Moon was caught mid-choke and Sara gave full crotch. Piche hilariously could barely fit her gown in the chair, though looked great while Mami struggled to land the swing on entry. Cookie was unfazed while Keiona gave nothing but glamour, Ginger on the other hand was right at home while Punani lived for a rough ride and then hilariously botched the landing. Which was all it took to snatch the win, as she deserved. 

Nicky then announced that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be writing verses and recording the anthem of Drag Race France, We Are Legendaire. And then performing it live on the mainstage as a single group. As the dolls split up to unpack and de-drag, they finally discovered Paloma’’s message and while they felt it was sweet, immediately rubbed it off and moved right along. As they de-dragged, Moon quickly took the chance to let her sisters know that she is a trans woman and as such, her pronouns are she all the time. And it was so sweet as she admitted she already felt so much love from them and as such, felt it was ok to confide in them now rather than waiting. The dolls moved on to how excited they all were to make the cast, with Sara admitting she is using the show as a tool to come out as a drag queen to her mother. Ginger meanwhile spoke about her dad calling her after watching the first season and how much he loved it and ugh, I love it all.

After the getting to know you was done the dolls sat down to listen to their song and work through lyrics before Nicky dropped by to offer some support from Chris. And while Sara was confident in her operatic chops, not everyone was as thrilled, though felt better when Chris just told them to find their niche and stick to it. With that they pivoted to the mainstage to learn their choreography with Claude Carmier. Well, after a little solo dance break where Rose was hilariously awkward, Sara dropped into a split, Moon was sultry and Keiona gave 10s, 10s, 10s across the board. In any event, despite breezing through the rehearsal, it was clear Piche, Moon, Mami and Keiona were far and away the strongest while poor Rose was just not compatible with dancing.

Forgoing any elimination day fun, Nicky, Kiddy and Daphne were joined on the panel by Chris and Nicolas Sirkis as the dolls stomped the floor to debut We Are Legendaires. And it was a bop. Keiona, Mami, Moon, Piche and Punani owned the show while poor Kitty, Rose and Ginger just kinda got eaten up by the rest of the dolls. On the Super Drag runway, Kitty Space looked like an exploded Tina Burner in all the right ways. Ginger served truth and justice which is topical, given I am currently on jury duty like a judicial icon. Punani was stunning in a glam gown of scraps, Mami gave Woman King warrior realness, Moon was ravishing in red while Cookie served neon blow-out realness and Rose gave camp comedy perfection. Piche was fucking stunning and oh so hot in a gorgeous suit and while I have no idea what is happening, I stan and love her. Sara then gave supergrills, Vespi served wasp before Keiona closed the show giving metallic vogue hero.

Mami, Moon, Vespi, Piche and Cookie were sent to safety before the judges praised Kitty for the stunning runway, though read her for fading into the background in the performance. Ginger’s look was beloved though she was read for not giving enough energy in the performance. Punani was beloved for her Bowie vibes in the performance and for being a thrifty zaddy on the runway. Rose meanwhile was read for stopping lip syncing throughout the performance despite loving the energy she brought to the runway. Sara’s polish and energy were beloved, as was the creativity and uniqueness she brought to everything. And then Keiona, obviously, received wall to wall praise because she is a star.

Backstage the safe dolls were giddily kikiing about living to see another week before the tops and bottoms joined the party. Rose opened up about clearly being in the lip sync though vowed to fight. As did Kitty, who felt it would definitely be her in the bottom rather than Ginger. Punani meanwhile was just nervous to lose her sister so soon and to be left all alone.

After speeding out of Untucked, Punani and Keiona were ultimately sent to safety as Sara took out the first win of the season, before Ginger joined them at the back of the stage as Kitty Space and Rose took their places for the lip sync. And unlike last season, we actually got the music as 3Sex by Indochine et Chris kicked off. And while Kitty gave all the comedy, it kinda fell off for the song and while Rose’s emotive take felt right, Nicky and the judges appeared to disagree as Rose was sent out of the competition to become the La Kahena of the season. Breaking mine and Punani’s hearts in the process.

She found me backstage in the Werk Room by following the wailing sounds of my cries. Sweet Rose had so much more to give – and is a total zaddy, but I digress – so I was heartbroken to see her go so soon. As I do with all first boots, I reminded her that the first boot is always more memorable than most of the other dolls and while she literally just reminded us of that in her exit, she seemed to appreciate it coming from a third part. Though maybe she was just excited to eat away her feelings with a thick slice of Apple and Rosemary Cake.

This tweaked version of a delicious Nigella number may sound like an odd combination, but everything about it is pitch perfect. Sweet, earthy and tart in all the right places, it is the perfect snack to get you through the day.

Enjoy!

Apple and Rosemary Cake
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
1 granny smith apple, peeled, cored and roughly chopped
2 sprigs fresh rosemary
½ lemon, zested and juiced
170g raw caster sugar
230g butter
3 eggs
300g flour
2 tsp baking powder

Method
Combine the apple, half the rosemary, the zest and juice of the lemon and a teaspoon of both the sugar and butter in a skillet and cook on a low heat for 5-10 minutes, or until the apple is soft. Leave to cool and remove the rosemary.

Preheat the oven to 160C.

In a food processor, blitz the apple, remaining butter, 150g sugar, eggs, flour and baking powder to form a smooth batter. Transfer to a lined loaf tin, smooth the top, sprinkle with the remaining sugar and lay the remaining sprig of rosemary down the middle. Pop it in the oven to bake for 45 minutes, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean. Transfer to cool on a wire rack for about ten minutes before turning out the cake. And slicing and devouring.


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Alexicken Mushelle & Leek

Main, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on All Stars Kandy was still worried about the fallout from Heidi quitting after accusing her of plotting against Jimbo, and how it would come back to bite her should she land in the bottom. To distract her, the top five were tasked with designing looks inspired by five previous All Stars winners and while Lala was not feeling confident, she was hopeful Alexis would remember that she literally saved her the week before should she take out the win. Alexis slayed from start to finish, Jimbo was an icon and Jessica slayed the hot glue, leaving some fit issues to land Kandy and Lala in the bottom. And after Alexis beat Nicky Doll in the lip sync, she promptly forgot Lala saved her and sent her from the competition, rather than Kandy.

Backstage the top four were thrilled to have made it all the way to the end, with Alexis hoping that winning one challenge would be enough to snatch the crown. Again, Jimbo is right there. Alexis turned their attention to the vote, admitting it was the hardest of the season given Lala and Kandy had the same track record, so instead she had to go with her gut. Even though she promised Lala she wouldn’t forget her earlier kindness. The dolls sat down to kiki, thrilled to all finally have a win while Jimbo just wanted to know how it feels to win a lip sync. Jessica meanwhile asked to check if Alexis was wrong to pick Lala and after counting the votes, we learnt that the decision was unanimous, meaning everyone should stop hating on Alexis. Myself included. While Jimbo joked about just not being able to see the lipsticks and as such, she actually meant to vote Kandy out. While Kandy admitted she was just straight up gagged to be saved, which led to Jimbo asking why Alexis told Lala she wouldn’t vote her out. With her denying it before implying she and Kandy formed a late breaking alliance.

Which you know will come back to haunt them should Jessica or Jimbo win the next challenge.

The next day the dolls were still pumped to have made it so far, begging the question, do they know we still have three more episodes after this, or is that just information for us? As they debated starting a talk show, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge they would be celebrating TV icon Carson Kressley. By throwing a little roast, obviously. And as the winner of the previous challenge, Alexis got to decide the order. With that, Ru exited and the dolls split up to work on their sets, with Kandy confident after winning the roast in her OG season. Though realistic to know it also painted a target on her back. Jimbo and Jessica meanwhile were nervous, given they have never done a roast, with the latter particularly worried about being too mean. Alexis on the other hand was triggered by her iconic green number in her original roast, complete with her Tamar Braxton feud. 

Talk turned to the dolls approach with everyone agreeing doing a character on top of things is just adding complication. So you know Jimbo was planning to play a character. And by character, Joan Rivers. Her Canadian Snatch Game winning role. Alexis then announced the order of the show, opening it up herself, following with Jessica, Kandy and then closing the show with Jimbo. Which gurl, that is a bad idea because you know she is already going to kill it and going last will just solidify that. Whether Kandy tried to get in her head or not.

Jessica was first up to workshop her set with Michelle and Alec Mapa, and even her sighing had the duo in stitches. While Alec suggested that given she comes across as super sweet, she will be able to go even more brutal. Up next Kandy admitted she is feeling the pressure of having a solid previous roast, but TBH her practice set was awesome and maybe Jimbo does have some competition this week? If she can enunciate and breathe, that is. Alexis meanwhile was trying to forget about her previous attempts at the roast, but given how slow it went she is either heading out the door or this is the fake out edit and she is winning back to back. Wait, no, Jimbo is already perfect – despite Michelle not getting her perfect jokes – so has this in the bag. Despite her actual fake out edit.

Elimination Day arrived and while I have faith in Jimbo, her time with Michelle and Alec had her feeling nervous about making Joan proud. While Alexis was confident that all her set needed were a few little edits and she’d be good to go. Down to earth, Kandy meanwhile was super nervous despite having won a roast, before pointing out Jimbo is acting nervous but she just doesn’t trust it given she is so talented. Katya then ran into the Werk Room to cause chaos and ooze charm before kiki-ing with the dolls. Which was essentially just her trying to find out who wanted to fuck. Alexis then dropped Lala for Kandy, while Katya continued to be an obstruction and I need her back on All Stars yesterday.

“It’s a roast, not a saute” – Katya

Ru, Michelle and Carson took their places on the panel as Alexis opened the show and while she got a few laughs, like the improv, she felt way too stiff and rehearsed. And a bit too saute. Jessica was up next and slayed; a delight from start to finish! Brutal, adorable and oh so stupid, it was, chefs kiss. Kandy too started strong and went oh so hard, and it was so fun to watch. And then, Jimbo. Oh my lord, she was amazing. Stunning, perfect and oh god, crown her now. Brutal, charming and so pitch perfect as Joan, I would watch her read the phonebook. We then got a surprise fifth contestant, Carson’s bestie Thom Filicia’s drag character Jackie Would who was also charming AF.

After de-dragging, Thom joined the panel as Alexis opened the Snow Bunny runway giving glam snow lion and looked stunning. Jessica meanwhile looked like the hottest villain from a children’s ski movie who us gays root for, Kandy gave slutty apres ski in diamonds before Jimbo slayed in a full feathered gown and ugh, it was so, so gorgeous. And expensive. And congratulations on another win. The judges felt like Alexis was a great warm-up act but not up to the same level as the other girls. Though they were thrilled by her growth between seasons by turning such a stunning look. Jessica meanwhile was beloved for giving such a fun roast and for looking beautiful too. Kandy too was praised for her roast, though read for her pacing. Again though, they lived for her runway. Jimbo meanwhile received wall-to-wall praise, particularly for taking a risk and having it pay off perfectly. As did the fact she served far and away the best look. So obviously she took out her fourth win of the season, leaving the rest of the dolls in the bottom. 

Backstage Jimbo was giddy to have snatched her fourth win, while Kandy was disappointed to be in the bottom simply because there was no other option. Though obviously fine with Jimbo winning, because it was obviously deserved. Alexis then tried to toast the dolls before Jan dialled in to praise her momager. Jimbo then got a call from her zaddy brother, mother and partner, Kandy’s mum beamed with pride before Jessica’s family called from PR and ugh, the dolls are crying, I’m crying and it is just so damn sweet.

We then did a hard pivot to deliberations with Kandy assuring Jimbo that they are super close and she won’t do anything to jeopardise it. Alexis meanwhile told Jessica that she and Kandy agreed to look out for each other, though felt like she also couldn’t pick her lipstick. Alexis was next with Jimbo, knowing she had the worst critiques, though promised to support Jimbo if she stayed. Jessica meanwhile promised to look after her fellow latina Kandy, particularly since she slayed the challenge. While Kandy reiterated Alexis also has the worst track record. Jessica rounded things out with Jimbo, reminding her how well she has performed and that she doesn’t think she deserves to go. And that Jimbo shouldn’t vote her out because Puerto Rico would hate her.

The Thom Filicia then dropped by and like Kandy, ugh, I love her so damn much.

With that the dolls voted before Jimbo took her place on stage to learn that this week she’d be facing off against the undisputed lip sync assassin of the franchise, the good Doctor Reverend Silky Nutmeg Ganache, most recently of Canada vs the World fame. And before the song even started, Ru was cackling at the return of Jimbo’s bologna clown. Though when Midnight Star’s Freak-A-Zoid kicked off, both the dolls slayed, but seeing Jimbo embrace her stupidity and acting a fool, it was clear she was finally getting her win. Obviously Silky was her usually iconic self, but by the time Jimbo pulled out the bologna, there was no way she was losing. Which is something Silky picked up on, as she joined in the fun and well, it was stunning. Jimbo finally won her first ever lip sync across the franchise, before sending home Alexis. Who obviously served heartache because you know she knows how to produce.

Backstage I pulled her in for a massive hug and thanked her for always doing what needs to be done. Say what you will about Alexis, but she knows how to deliver good TV – we call her the producer for a reason, people! – and I am so grateful for the gaggery she provided yet again. I reminded her that while she may not have won hearts by sending Lala home, over time, people will remember her as nothing more than an icon and as such, she should be proud. Plus, her glow-up was stunning and she improved her placing, so she did get a little bit of redemption. With a side of Alexicken Mushelle & Leek.

Yeah, yeah – the name is clunky, but this comforting meal is so good you’ll quickly forgive me. Packing a punch of truffle and garlic, it is a wonderful winter meal – Southern hemisphere based, FYI – to warm your soul and eat away your disappointment.

Enjoy!

Alexicken Mushelle & Leek
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
8 chicken thighs
1 leek, washed, trimmed and thinly sliced
300g mushrooms, thinly sliced
6 garlic cloves, minced
3 thyme sprigs, leaves removed
2 tsp truffle oil
1 cup chicken stock
1 cup cream
1 bunch broccolini, trimmed
1 lemon, zested and juiced
kosher salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Heat a lug of olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the chicken and cook for five minutes, before flipping and cooking for a further 5 minutes. Transfer to a plate and cover with some foil.

In the same pan, now full of juices in addition to the oil, add the leek, mushroom and garlic and cook, stirring for about five minutes, or until soft, glossy and sweet. Stir in the thyme, truffle oil, stock and cream, and bring to the boil. Add the chicken and juices, and reduce heat to low. Cover and leave to simmer for 20 minutes.

Once the sauce has reduced and the chicken glorious, add the broccolini and cover before cooking for a further five minutes. Once that is tender, stir in the lemon zest and juice, and season to taste with the salt and pepper.

Then serve on a bed of rice and devour, like a production icon.


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Turkey Meatballala Curri

Main, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on All Stars the top six improv-ed their way through a true crime series to figure out what happened to Poundcake in a missing season of All Stars. Which is the perfectly delightful mix of camp, stupid and meta. When Kandy once again refused to take another character, Alexis got annoyed and started crying. That in turn annoyed Kandy, who stormed out, completely infuriated by her ongoing theatrics. Not wanting to miss out on the action, Kahanna then threatened to quit because she was over acting challenges, so Ru came and cussed out the girls and all was right in the world. Kahanna and Alexis then landed in the bottom and after Lala demolished Baby Jorgeous, she opted to send home her bestie Kahanna. To a gay gasp from Alexis.

Backstage Lala was feeling very rich, bitch, after her first ever victory, before she explained that while it sucked to send home her sister, she knew it was the right decision given she has been in the bottom so often. Alexis thanked her for her mercy, grateful to Lala for not just saving her but doing the very difficult thing of eliminating her friend. Going so far as to vow that her kindness will not be forgotten. After the dolls crowned Lala their queen, Alexis opened up the box to tally the votes and while everyone voted to keep her, seeing Kandy joke that the vote against Alexis came for her rather than Kahanna was a delightful amount of gaggy, silliness.

Oh and then the dolls played Jimbo’s tatas like bongos as Lala vowed to win another challenge.

The next day Jimbo tossed bologna to the dolls and while they were not feeling it – or its smell – I was once again delighted by her stupidity. Before anyone got physical with her, Ru arrived to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would need to design outfits worthy of five All Stars winners – Trinity, Kylie, Shea, Trixie and Monet. And for winning the last challenge, Lala got to give herself a leg up as she assigned the boxes allegedly belonging to the All Stars. She snatched Shea for herself, gave Trinity to Alexis, Kylie to Jessica and Kandy got Monet, which left Jimbo with Trixie and damn, she really is congenial, as all of those make so much sense. Congenial, but not smart, given now she doesn’t have an advantage.

The dolls split up to clear out their boxes, delighted by each and every thing they could find. Well, except for Kandy who in addition to her patent leathers, she also had an epic supply of sponges. Alexis loved Trinity’s colour palette, while Jessica was delighted to have her Season 2 sister’s box, though nervous because Sonique loves to go see-through and she does not. Jimbo clarified whether the dolls felt they should be trying to look like their winner or whether it was simply meant to be their inspiration. And after they all agreed to just pay homage, she got super distracted, procrastinating and annoying her sisters, thieving their supplies and Jimbo gurl, come up with a plan or you’ll be in danger.

Kandy and Lala were kiking about their plans for their dresses with Lala wanting to serve southern drama, though nervous about potentially choking and going out on another design challenge. Alexis managed to get Jimbo to focus, getting her to share that she would be serving avant garde facekini. Alexis meanwhile opened up about being eliminated on the ball in her original season, though was confident that after taking some sewing lessons, she’d be able to go big and slay a big old drag look. Pivoting back to Kandy, though, she was spiralling, intimidated by how strong everyone else is at designing and how she may just be screwed.

Instead of Ru doing a walk through, Shannel and Raven dropped by and ugh, I love them so much. First up was Jessica and watching the dolls praise her for slaying was so delightful. Though I am nervous that Shannel’s advice to try something outside the box will come back to haunt her. Alexis was up next, talking about how supported she felt after nobody voted for her to go home. Oh and she was super confident about turning a lewk. Kandy meanwhile was living her best life kikiing with the dolls, Lala was happy with her concept and happier to vote Jimbo, should it be needed, which obviously delighted the girls. Almost as much as they were delighted to see Jimbo had Trixie’s box, with her just admitting all she cares about is avoiding the bottom, rather than necessarily winning.

After our OG All Stars disappeared, Kandy stripped down to her padding as everyone started giggling, completely delirious from the competition. And the fact the boys love Kandy’s titties. Alexis tried to get them back on track, chatting to Jimbo about her look. Jimbo admitted that Raven and Shannel loved her ideas, but were more focused on the fact that should she land in the bottom, she will go. Which obviously led to Alexis assuring her that if it ever happened, she wouldn’t dare eliminate her. Because of course. As she turned her attention back to her dress, Jessica opened up about how nervous she is about the upcoming challenge.

Talk turned to their original seasons with Lala thrilled by how much the fans loved her, despite her terrible looks. Or because of them, TBH. Kandy then got a little scissor happy, cutting the titties WAY out and you best believe that was all it took to get her spiralling. Jimbo meanwhile was nailing her look, or at the very least, the parts she had made, because you know that procrastination was coming back to bite her. And while she felt like she would save time in the end by not beating her mug, the dolls thought that was a bad idea. Oh and Lala hated her pattern.

Elimination Day arrived with the top five exhausted after pulling an all nighter to get their outfits done. And while Lala pulled together multiple looks just in case, none of them were tried on with padding and as such, she is in danger. I mean, there isn’t even a zipper. Kandy meanwhile was terrified by her look being too simple, but was more grateful that she finished something. Jimbo meanwhile was still rocking the Janome and despite them heading to the mainstage in 30 minutes, she still had about twenty things to do. While Alexis was just hungry for the win with her pageant number, though worried it wouldn’t be what the judges wanted. Talk turned to the vote ahead, with everyone unsure how they would make their decisions with Alexis assuring Lala that she will not forget the fact she saved her. While Kandy was just nervous about people holding a grudge against her for their past dramas.

Ru, Michelle and the hilarious Ross Mathews were joined by Incubus’ Brandon Boyd, for some reason. Kandy was first up on the I’m A Winner Baby! runway and while her dress was simple, it also fit perfectly and she looked stunning. Jimbo’s look was camp, architectural and absolute perfection. Lala was a tangerine dream, serving shimmering, regal glam and ugh, I love it. Alexis served pageant Statue of Liberty in all the right ways and ugh, just give her the win for the week, as she looks good. While Jessica looked fun and flirty, like an extra at a party in Real Housewives of Miami.

The judges praised Kandy for looking beautiful, though read the look for being too simple, as predicted. Jimbo’s look was praised for being polished, gorgeous and completely demented, exceedingly all of their already high expectations. Lala’s colour choice was beloved, though they felt her look had odd fits. Which she explained was because she ran out of fabric. Alexis meanwhile received wall to wall praise with no notes and yeah, this is in the bag. Jessica’s look was also loved, though not as much as Alexis, who was announced as the winner of this week’s challenge. While Kandy and Lala landed in the bottom for no other reason than some awkward fits.

Backstage Alexis was obviously feeling her oats while Jimbo hilariously struggled to prick a straw through her face so she could drink with the dolls. Not wanting to share the spotlight, Alexis spoke about how much the win meant to her given she was eliminated in a top five design challenge in her first season. She then praised Jessica for being so expensive, who in turn praised Jimbo for slaying. They then all praised Kandy and Lala for still looking stunning before they realised they have the same damn track records. That was enough to get Kandy in her feelings, disappointed to have to fight against her sister to survive.

After letting Kandy have a brief moment, Alexis turned it back to her, reminding everyone she promised to repay the favour to Lala for saving her, though that Kandy is also NYC family. She pulled Lala aside to plead her case first, telling her that she just wants her to keep her though Alexis asked what would happen if she did eliminate her. Kandy meanwhile was opening up to Jimbo and Jessica about how she knows how much she and Lala both want it and she is scared that Alexis will save Lala just because she feels obliged. When they swapped out however, she decided to kiss arse. Until Alexis pointed out she left a secret note for Kandy in the first week, asking to form an alliance. And Kandy left her on read like an icon. So obviously she pretended it was a little accident and meant to reply in the affirmative, like duh! While Lala assured her other sisters that the fair thing to do would be to keep her around. Brandon Boyd then dropped by and well, all anyone cared about was her being a zaddy and while he is straight, his love from drag was sweet, so I will look the other way. This time.

With that the dolls voted before Alexis took her place on stage and Nicky Doll was revealed as this week’s lip sync assassin. As soon as These Boots Are Made For Walking kicked off, both the dolls – no pun intended – were feeling their Nancy oats, though it was clear the camp vibe of the song played to all of Alexis’ strengths, which was all it took to snatch the win. As Nicky took her place at the back of the stage, Kandy and Lala joined Alexis on the mainstage before they were gagged to learn that Lala was eliminated BY THE PERSON SHE SAVED LAST WEEK.

As Lala arrived in the Werk Room, I was well and truly lost in my emotions, screaming and wailing with abandon, heartbroken to have lost our sweet, bag-loving icon. Lala being Lala, she pulled me in for a hug and assured me that despite going home without the crown, she is proud of her run and excited for what she achieved. And while I was still pissed, I couldn’t argue with anything she said – I mean, she slayed – so instead, toasted her run with a Turkey Meatballala Curri.

Rich, spicy and creamy, this quick and easy red curry is near perfection. More importantly, the balls are absolutely jam-packed with flavour. And who doesn’t love a big, flavourful ball.

Enjoy!

Turkey Meatballala Curri
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1kg turkey mince
¾ cup thai basil, roughly chopped
2 shallots, sliced
10 garlic cloves, minced
3 tbsp fish sauce
3 tbsp muscovado sugar
1 tbsp cornstarch
2 tsp kosher salt
2 ½ tbsp red curry paste
2 tbsp vegetable oil
1 onion, diced
800ml coconut milk, shaken
2 limes, zested and juiced

Method
Start on the balls – which TBH, is just good life advice in general – combine the mince, a quarter cup thai basil, shallots, half the garlic, two tablespoons of the fish sauce and sugar, cornstarch, two teaspoons of salt and half a tablespoon of curry paste in a large bowl. Scrunch with your hands and form into large(ish) meatballs and place on a lined baking sheet.

Pop the oil in a dutch oven over medium heat and sweat the onion for five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the remaining garlic and cook for a minute before adding the remaining curry paste and cooking for a further minute. Stir through the coconut milk and bring to the boil. Add the meatballs in and stir to coat before reducing to low and covering, simmering for about 20 minutes or until the balls are cooked through.

Once the balls are hot, hot, hot, stir in the lime zest and juice, the remaining fish sauce and sugar and thai basil. Season to taste. Serve immediately, ideally with rice but TBH, you do you, as long as you devour. Regally.


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