Previously on Drag Race France the top three competed in an epic final challenge which involved learning languages, lip syncing, dancing and kiki-ing. In addition to stomping the runway in a gown, worthy of a crown. Aka the usual set-up. While Paloma struggled through rehearsal, she turned it out when taking the stage, embracing her charm and living her best life. Soa slayed literally any and all moment, while La Grande Dame was just so beautiful. And cool.
As has been the tradition of the season, La Grande Dame, Soa and Paloma were all fiercely talented icons. Though tragically, Nicky and Co. had to make a decision and while I already spoiled La Grande Dame as one of our runners-up, she shared the position with the owner of my heart Soa De Muse.
Despite a rocky start after her first win, there was no denying she was compelling as all hell and it was more of a situation of when rather than if she would bounce back. From giving killer, hilarious confessionals and being charming as all hell in the challenges and the Werk Room, she was well and truly the breakout star of the season.
And will make a very worthy winner of Drag Race France vs. The World.
As she exited the stage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and while I wanted to tell her she was the ultimate robbed goddess of the season, I couldn’t do it. Because France’s top three were all iconic talents in their own ways, which made it such a joy of a season to watch.
Instead, I reminded her that she is a star and while she didn’t leave with the crown, the season is only the beginning for her and I can’t wait for the globe to fall in love with her. Just like I have. Then I stopped myself short of calling her the second coming of Ru and simply served her a big, fat Soavlaki De Muse to show her my devotion.
You know I have a passion for sticking meat in my mouth, particularly if there is dough somehow involved. And this one is even more fun than usual. Packing a punch of garlic, you’re hit with a fresh kick of flavour that has you begging for more. Like us with Soa on our screens, you know?
Enjoy!
Soavlaki De Muse Serves: 6.
Ingredients ⅓ cup olive oil 6 garlic cloves, minced 1 lemon, zested and juiced 2 tsp dried oregano 1 tsp dried thyme 1 tsp cumin 1 tsp chilli flakes ½ tsp smoked paprika salt and pepper, to taste 1kg lamb shoulder, diced 2 red onions, sliced 400g Jaida Essence Halloumi, cut into large chips 6 Pita Andre Bread ⅔ cup Carole Radtzikiwill 2 cups Jud Beerza Battered Fries 1 tomato, diced 1 cup lettuce leaf
Method Combine the olive oil, garlic, lemon zest and juice, oregano, thyme, cumin, chilli and paprika with a good whack of salt and pepper in a large bowl. Add the meat and onions and stir until well coated. Cover and pop in the fridge for a few hours, or ideally overnight.
To make the kebabs, preheat the oven to 180C. Thread the lamb onto metal skewers, trying to avoid overpacking them. Arrange the onion on a lined baking sheet before laying the skewers on top. Transfer to the oven and bake for about 20-30 minutes, or until browned on the outside. Add the haloumi in for the last 10 minutes to crisp up on the outside.
To assemble, smear the pita bread with a little bit of tzatziki, followed by the chips, tomato, lettuce, meat and finally the haloumi. Wrap into a tight cylinder and then devour greedily.
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Previously on Drag Race France the top four were given one final hurdle before battling for the crown and oh boy, was it a doozy – making over their besties! And while there are normally more than a few questionable choices, the quartet all served it as they stayed true to themselves while looking out for their friends. While that doesn’t help a competition format reality show, Nicky solved the little deadlock with a classic lip sync lalaparuza. As such, Soa defeated Lolita and booked the first spot in the top three. She was followed by Paloma before La Grande Dame narrowly completed the top three as Lolita Banana was tragically felled.
Backstage the top three were well and truly gagged to have made it to the end, before toasting to Lolita’s epic run to the top four. Though they didn’t spend too much time thinking about it, given they had a big week ahead if they wanted to snatch the crown. The next day the top three returned excited and ready to claim their crown. But after Nicky arrived to announce their final Maxi Challenge, they were a little less excited and erring more on the side of nervous. First up they would have to learn the lyrics to RuPaul’sCatwalk, in ENGLISH, then learn extensive choreography and perform it live on the mainstage. Then stomp the runway in front of fashion icon Olivier Rousteing.
Oh and obvs they will be having a little madeleine lunch with Nicky, as the French are wont to do.
After Nicky disappeared, they split up to speculate how painful their choreography would be, with everyone hoping for some camp disco moves. While La Grande Dame was only confident in her old white man moves. Thankfully they didn’t have to wait long to find out as they quickly joined Nicolas Huchard on the mainstage to rehearse. And let’s just say, the performance is going to be very, very detailed and very, very intense. While Soa was in her element, Paloma was feeling super anxious and struggled to get it down and bring enough attitude. While Grande Dame was mildly confident, given she wasn’t the weakest. Well, unless this is a fakeout edit and Paloma is going to absolutely demolish the final performance.
Soa was first to kiki with Nicky, already feeling like a winner to have made it to the end. But hopeful to keep that fire and take the crown in honour of her dear friend Mrs Rose. La Grande Dame was next to drop by, simultaneously shocked to be there and proud of all that she has achieved. She revealed that she came to the competition because she had a difficult time growing up and wanting to show her mother another side of herself after difficult years apart, due to her queerness. Paloma meanwhile spoke about how the competition has made her feel like less of an imposter and that she has a place in the world. And ugh, I honestly love them all.
Nicky, Daphné and Kiddy were joined by Nicolas and Olivier on the judging panel as the top three took the stage for their performance of Catwalk and while Paloma looked tentative in rehearsal, she hit the stage with a fire and was so damn charming. La Grande Dame served non-stop moody glamour; ethereal and damn fierce. Soa meanwhile had all the energy, hitting every move and giving us sex from start to finish.
The Dragnifique runway was opened by our eliminated queens where La Kahena was a pretty princess in nude before stripping near nude and showing bum. So swoon. Lova gave showgirl glamour, La Briochée was a patchworked voodoo-Dorothy delight, Kam was peach-puff perfection while Elips was so gorgeous in a black, shimmering jumpsuit. Big Bertha went from red vamp, to revealing a bodysuit carving up her meat while Lolita was gorgeous in a gaudy quinceanera kinda way. When it came to the top three, Paloma was perfect in a moody red gown, complete with Bette Midler Hocus Pocus wig. Soa was sexy in a bead and leather outfit, giving structure and skin in equal measure while La Grande Dame was camp as hell in a shimmering lilac gown of frills and ruching.
Paloma received universal praise for all that she sold on the runway and for the diversity of her performances throughout the season. And for having so much fun. Paloma opened up to the judges, explaining how she wants her potential victory to inspire people to follow their dreams. Soa was praised for looking stunning on the runway, and for kicking off the season in such a strong fashion with her talent show performance. Oh and never mind her killer track record and dominating each lip sync she appeared in. She thanked the judges for their kindness and for embracing her. La Grande Dame meanwhile received praise for giving constantly evolving glamour on the runway and mixing it with such fun humour. And frankly, a whole lot of stupidity.
Nicky then wheeled out the baby pictures, with Paloma encouraging her younger self to stand firm and love herself and trust that everything will work out, despite the trauma and upheaval that is sometimes thrown her way. Soa told her baby self to use the pain that comes her way as fire to make something of herself and to fight. And again, I love her so much. La Grande Dame meanwhile told her even younger self that while life may be strange and confusing at times, to always keep hope and focus on her happiness.
Before they ventured to untuck, Nicky then announced that the queens had privately voted prior to the show with Elips crowned the first Miss Sympathie. Backstage the finalists reunited with their eliminated sisters, toasting to a killer season before Grande Dame shared that watching her sisters leave in tears was the hardest part of the entire competition for her.
The girls returned to the mainstage to lip sync for the crown to Dalida’s Mourir sur scène. And given the dolls are icons, none of them really tried to steal the spotlight from anyone else, calm and confident in their skills as they all turned a killer show. Soa was obviously moody and fierce, Paloma served all the emotion while Grande Dame was stunning and on every lyric. Complete with glitter. Sadly, while everyone nailed the performance (and the season more broadly), Nicky had to pick a winner. And tragically, that was not La Grande Dame who finished as one of the two runner-ups. This is going to become quite repetitive, but the top three were so damn strong that any of them could have taken out the crown and while I’m thrilled for the winner, both La Grande Dame and the as yet unmentioned here other runner-up were worthy.
As soon as La Grande Dame stepped offstage for the crowning, I pulled her in for a massive hug and marvelled how someone so young could do what she did. I then went on a rant about my own fading youth and asked her to give me hers, before I snapped out of it and congratulated her on a job well done with a glorious La Grande Damarretto Cake.
The only thing elegant or decadent enough for La Grande Dame’s aesthetic is this barely-tweaked Nigella number. Rich, dense and velvety smooth, it is essentially the perfect cake. And I’d be willing to fight anyone that disagrees.
Enjoy!
La Grande Damarretto Cake Serves: 8-12.
Ingredients 100g dark chocolate, roughly chopped 100g unsalted butter, softened 4 eggs, at room temperature 125g raw caster sugar 100g almond meal 2 tbsp cocoa powder, plus extra for dustin’ ¼ cup amaretto liqueur 2 tsp vanilla extract
Method Preheat the oven to 160C and line the base of your springform cake tin with baking paper.
Melt the butter and chocolate together in a double boiler until smooth and glossy, before removing from the heat to cool.
Whisk the eggs and sugar until thick, glossy and doubled in volume. Combine the almond meal and cocoa, before folding through the sweetened eggs.
Mix the amaretto and vanilla with the melted chocolate, then fold through the batter until well combined. Pour the batter into the prepared cake tin and transfer to the oven to bake for 20 minutes, or until it is coming away from the edges and is cracked on the top. It should be dense and moist, but only just cooked through with a few crumbs left on an inserted skewer.
Transfer to a wire rack to cool completely, before unclamping the tin and gently transferring the cake to a plate. Sprinkle with a little extra cocoa before devouring, triumphantly. Despite not winning.
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Previously on Drag Race Down Under ten new dolls arrived in our baby Werk Room ready to gift the world further flavour from our neck of the woods. After putting the dolls through their paces in the traditional photoshoot – this time, with sausage – Ru tasked the girls with making outfits from natural or recycled materials. Faúx Fúr sang and generally added a cacophony of sounds while rocking black granny panties under a sheer skirt, while Spankie, potentially distracted, just forgot to work panties into her design at all. While Yuri’s look was a work of art, she couldn’t walk in it on the runway and as such, Molly, who also nailed the challenge, took out the first win of the season. Meanwhile Spankie and Faúx’s own version of the Erika Girardi pantygate landed them in the bottom with Spankie sending sweet Faúx home.
Backstage everything was feeling a little more real after seeing their first sister go home, with Spankie heartbroken to have been the one to have officially done the deed. While everyone, unsurprisingly, was just gagged by how quiet things were now that Faúx was gone. Minnie was proud of Spankie for turning the lip sync for the old girls – despite her being in her 30s – while Spankie was just focused on rising from the ashes and proving to everyone that she is not to be fucked with.
The next day Kween was also ready for a little bit of a comeback, while Yuri was just hoping to be able to walk in whatever look she pulls out this week. Aubrey meanwhile was happy to be safe for the challenge, before Minnie jumped in and apologised for the drama between them about their safe-ness last week. Before we could dwell on it further, Ru dropped by and promptly announced that since Molly won the first challenge, she would be able to rate her competition with the help of the zaddy Pit Crew. And well, were we paying attention to anything but the Bonds packages? Yuri Gaii was crowned Greatest Competition, not Good Cunt as Spankie thought. Daggiest Drag was given to Spankie, You Beauty was obviously Kween Kong as trade of the season while the final winner – Taking the Piss aka Next to Go – was Beverly Kills. Mainly because Aubrey looked stressed and Molly was way too scared to give it to Minnie.
For this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be starring in a Prisoner parody – Caged Queens – with those winning a title and wearing a sash forming Team #1 with Molly, while the rest would form Team #2. As soon as the sash dolls got together Molly admitted that she actually wanted to say Minnie was the next to go and while they started kiki-ing about it, Kween cut them off and told them to put some respect on Minnie’s name and well, I love Kween for standing up for the icon. Speaking of Minnie, she and Aubrey assured their team they will gladly put their former issues aside. Minnie opened up about being dyslexic and requested they run through the scene orally and ugh, I love her. We ventured back to Team Sash where Spankie was nailing rehearsal, while literally everyone else was bombing.
Team Sashless were first up to film with Michelle and Rhys where Aubrey looked like Baby Willam and appeared to be struggling. Pomara meanwhile was iconic in a Casey Donovan wig and well, it made me moist and I love her and her power hungry ways as a prison guard. Minnie and Molly were demented and so much fun as prison hooch producers. Spankie meanwhile knocked it out of the park for Team Sash while Yuri was apologetic to everyone for how bad she was doing. Rounding things out, Kween was ditsy, Molly was funny and Beverly was awks.
Elimination Day arrived with Kween showing off a nip, so yeah, I’m wet. Team Sashless were ready to take out victory, while Minnie wanted to publicly thank her team for being so understanding about her dyslexia which the other team hadn’t known. This led to Pomara trying to hide her laughter as she had heard it multiple times this episode, which obviously set off a new feud between Minnie and her. Once it was resolved that Pomara was laughing about it not being a secret, rather than Minnie having dyslexia, everyone split up to beat their mugs with Kween and Pomara feeling uncertain about how they went in the challenge but hopeful about improving on last week’s performance. Yuri opened up to Spankie about how her family offered to help fix her gayness and how they don’t support her drag, with Spankie going into mumma mode pulling her in for a hug and telling her that she is enough and is always welcome in her family. And ugh, I’ve had too long a week to process this emotion because that was beautiful.
Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined by the iconic Lucy Lawless as Molly slayed the Fly Girls runway as a neon green prey mantis. Kween Kong was perfection as a sexy black and white moth, Aubrey was gorgeous in Etcetera Etcetera’s entry-slash-promo look and Minnie was stunning as a 50s glam butterfly. Beverly was the sexiest latex mozzie, Pomara was stunning in an iridescent blue cicada gown, Spankie was a Cabaret style fly and looked a treat while Hannah was a glamorous ‘20s golden dame bug. And well, then Yuri Gaii was an acidic prey mantis and well, sorry Molly, Yuri did it better. Like the one you ordered, versus what you get.
When it came to Caged Queens, Hannah and Minnie were right in the pocket and gloriously, Home Alone-esque in their delivery. While Pomara and Aubrey were kinda-sorta just there. Spankie was delightfully demented, Yuri was sexy, Molly and Kween were fun and Beverly was a little awks. But given her character was being executed for writing all the RuPaul’s Drag Race acting challenges, so yeah, I appreciate a self-aware show.
Molly, Beverly and Pomara were deemed safe and sent to untuck before the judges praised Kween for looking stunning as all hell. Though read for kinda just being there in the challenge. She admitted that she hated the challenge and is embarrassed to have bombed in front of Lucy Lawless, before opening up about her depression and assured Ru that she will do better and ugh, I love her. Aubrey was read for being weak, though they praised her for fighting through the struggle of being first on set. Oh and while she looked good standing still, her gags on the runway all fell flat. Minnie received all around praise for everything she did in the challenge and on the runway. Yuri was declared the fashion queen of the season, though read for filth for her performance in the challenge. And then Spankie received wall to wall praise for being silly, leaning in to the joy and being fun. And then Hannah was praised for her Marlene Dietrich runway and for nailing the performance.
Backstage the safe girls were shocked that Kween and Aubrey were in the bottom, while Kween assured Yuri that she wants her baby sister to bring it in the lip sync. Minnie and Pomara then unleashed their issues, with Minnie offended about what happened this morning, while Pomara called her out for saying she didn’t deserve to be paid as a performer to other queens in Sydney. Oh and Minnie told her that she was entitled and difficult to mentor. But then they buried their issues and moved on, causing whiplash for everyone on the sidelines and watching along at home.
Ultimately Spankie took out her first win of the season while Hannah and Minnie were deemed a very deserving safe. As was Yuri, thanks to her perfect bloody outfit. As soon as The Divinyls’ I Touch Myself kicked off, Kween absolutely came alive and commanded all the attention, proving she is a damn star. She was cartwheeling and splitting and while Aubrey had a fire and gave camp comedy, Kween made sure she was not going home any time soon. Which meant poor Aubrey had to go, ironically – maybe, who knows thanks to Alanis – to a song featured in Austin Powers, which birthed her name.
Backstage Aubrey was understandably disappointed to be going home so soon, but thankfully was still proud of how skilled she is despite still being a baby-queen. Do I feel like a part of her started drag for the sole purpose of getting on the show and getting a recipe named after her? Sure. But can you really blame her? Thankfully like me, she is an icon and I pulled her in for a massive hug, congratulating her on being so damn talented, winning over hearts during her short stint and getting into a memorable fight. Which, in my eyes, makes her more than worthy of a piping hot Bluebrey Hainish.
Tart berries, sweet, velvety cream cheese and the glorious crunch of almonds work together to create a pastry so decadent and life affirming that all your troubles are solved. Kind of like Marge’s banana bread.
Enjoy!
Bluebrey Hainish Serves: 6-8.
Ingredients 2 sheets puff pastry 400g cream cheese, softened 2 tsp vanilla extract 1 tsp almond extract ¼ cup raw caster sugar 2 cups blueberries 1 egg, whisked icing sugar and flaked almonds, for dusting and sprinkling
Method Preheat the oven to 180C and cut each sheet of puff pastry into four squares. Divide the squares between two lined baking sheets.
Combine the cream cheese, caster sugar and extracts in a bowl and smear in the centre of each square of pastry, leaving a 2cm rim around the perimeter of each. Divide the blueberries between the squares and gently press into the cheese.
Brush the edges with a little bit of egg and transfer the baking sheets to the oven to cook for 20 minutes, or until golden and puffed.
Remove from the oven and transfer to a wire rack to cool for five minutes or so, before dusting with icing sugar and sprinkling over the flaked almonds. Then devour, lukewarm.
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Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls were paired up to put on some cheeky little lip syncs to RuPaul classics. While Vivian tried to be fair by pairing people up with people they vibed with, Fiercalicious obviously felt like she was being set up by being partnered with Bombae. Though maybe that was because she kinda got lost in the performance, landed in the bottom with Chelazon as Jada took out her first win of the season. Thankfully Fiercalicious found her fight in the lip sync that counted, leaving everything on the floor as she sent Chelazon home. Or out the door, if you want to rhyme.
Backstage Kaos was heartbroken to lose her fellow prairie sister, while everyone was grateful to get to know her and for all that she taught them in her time in the competition. Kaos opened up to her sisters about how much Chelazon meant to her, with Bombae loving how much intent she puts into everything. Fiercalicious tried to act all sad, which made Jada laugh about how silly and insincere she sounded. Everyone then toasted Jada on her first victory, though my favourite performance of hers is that she just can’t get Irma Gerd’s name right.
The next day everyone was upbeat and ready to fight, with Kaos feeling fired up while Vivian and Fiercalicious made up. Sadly though, Fiercalicious confronted Jada for not being friendly enough to her in the competition, giving they are close outside of the competition. And well, it is hilarious, given everyone just feels like she constantly has beef with people. While Giselle just rolled her eyes at the camera before Jada apologised so they could all move on.
Traci dropped by to put the girls through their paces giving oral … presentations, lecturing in quick drag. On a topic that they won’t learn until they take the stage. After barely beating their mugs in quick drag, Jada took the stage for her Tuck Talk about The Raw Truth: My Journey From Single to Soulmate. She was charming and confident, Bombae was silly, Boom Boom was chic, Kaos a literal confused, Giselle was adorbs as she giggled and offered gobbies, Fiercalicious was perfectly dumb and Vivian was just a star. While poor Irma and Kimmy were confused by the more absurd graphics that kept popping up. Despite Vivian slaying, it was Jada that took out yet another victory.
And as the victor, she was given the power to allocate everyone a box of design materials for this week’s Maxi Challenge. Kaos got spooky, Giselle got crusty, quirky went to Kimmy, Bombae was old fashioned, Irma was given sporty, crafty went to Boom Boom, she snatched fiery for herself, giving Flirty to Fiercalicious while Vivian got Basic. And well, they were some shady allocations for their runway looks. Sadly for Jada though, every box actually had the exact same contents and well, it was shady and fun of the producers. And you know Fiercalicious was pressed about it. But was she ever not going to be?
Everyone quickly split up to start working on their outfits with Vivian ready to slay a spider lady look, in all its 80s glory. Irma was going down the club kid route, while Fiercalicious approached Boom Boom to drag her through the challenge again. Giselle meanwhile was hoping to destroy the sewing challenge, given it is her passion. And well, her drawing looked amazing. Boom Boom meanwhile was feeling the pressure given she took out the first design challenge, while Kimmy was worried about being read for being basic.
Traci returned to kiki with the girls, with Jada sharing she would be very alien, galaxy, wait no, futuristic. And gurl, you’re in danger. Giselle was confident in her Valentino/Versace inspired look, ready to break through and stamp her place in the competition. Bombae was ready to tell the story of her journey and breaking out of her head while Boom Boom was getting more and more nervous about pulling it off. Fiercalicious was just hoping to avoid the bottom, while Kimmy wanted to make Mama Icesis proud. But yeah, maybe she won’t? Kaos was worried about being too crafty, Vivian was going busty 80s cowgirl and Irma was going balls to the wall. Well, head.
After Traci exited everyone started work glueing their outfits, while the other side were calmly sewing. And huffing the glue fumes wafting over. Bombae kikied with Vivian and Giselle, glad to have some serenity rather than hearing them complain about it. Fiercalicious and Jada meanwhile were kiki-ing about their futuristic looks and while Jada was ready to top, I just don’t see it.
Elimination Day arrived with Irma opening up about her journey to drag, slowly working her way up to be the biggest queen in the province. Kimmy spoke about starting drag because nobody could dance and while they didn’t want to book her as a woman, she pretended to be a man and started her career. Talk turned to the concept of gender and how the drag scene needs to be open to all genders and people need to wake up. Irma spoke about fighting with a fellow queen for drag being about mocking women – it is not – while Kimmy didn’t want to be expected to educate everyone all the damn time about being trans.
Brooke and Traci were joined by the iconic Jimbo and Sarain Fox on the judges panel, complete with Jimbo throwing bologna at Brooke. Bombae opened the Bitch Stole My Look runway in a striped silver and purple bodysuit looking like Storm. Vivian was glamorous and ready for the Oscars, Giselle was dripping glamour in a grecian goddess number, Kimmy slayed as a warrior princess, Fiercalicious was an architectural delight in silver while Irma Gerd gave the most glamorous clown known to man. Boom Boom was a frilly, layered delight while Jada was a slutty, silver English guard slash nutcracker before Kaos gave paper-spike Ru promo look realness.
Giselle, Irma, Kaos, Bombae, Kimmy and Jada were deemed the tops and bottoms of the week, with the rest of the queens heading backstage to untuck. Bombae was praised for giving a lovely final look, though everyone felt the reveal was pointless. Giselle received universal praise particularly for boning the corset herself backstage. Kimmy was praised for nailing the walk and looking like a warrior princess, despite giving a similar silhouette before. Irma too was beloved for giving all the fun on the runway, despite it being sloppy. Jaida meanwhile was read for absolute filth. Particularly for doing way too much. Kaos’ mug received praise, despite her look being kind of a staple of all design challenges. And not being able to walk in it.
Brooke then got shady and asked who should go home with Bombae suggesting Kaos is the weakest with her repetitive looks. Giselle identified Jada for her ugly look, as did Kimmy and Irma, which immediately made her cry. She then identified Kaos, while she returned the favour.
Backstage the dolls were feeling it as Irma broke down in tears over having to say who should go home. Kaos meanwhile was annoyed by Bombae saying she should go home, which obviously made Fiercalicious jump in and pile on Bombae for not telling her her outfit was ugly in the first week. Bombae cut off Kaos and told her she wouldn’t have given her a wig if she didn’t love her before reading Fiercalicious as difficult to be around and that is why she didn’t critique her. Jada felt like the judges felt she and Kaos were on the same level, which Giselle disagreed with given the judges straight up laughed at her. While Kaos and Fiercalicious were shocked Bombae was in the top. Jada then confronted Kimmy for calling her out on stage, with Kimmy reiterating she had the worst critiques.
Fiercalicious then asked Kimmy about her upsetting her way back in the second week, apologising for making her feel bad. And then continuing to fight. Thankfully though Boom Boom turned the attention on Jezabel, sorry Giselle, and her killer look.
Ultimately Bombae was deemed safe before Giselle took out her first win of the season, leaving Kimmy as safe. When it came to the bottoms – yes, yes, we’re all bottoms – Irma narrowly avoided the lip sync, as Kaos and Jada took their places in the bottom two. As soon as Stranger in my House kicked off, Jada got to work pulling off her outfit and lit a fire underneath herself as she slayed the performance and gave all the attitude. While Kaos channelled all the emotion, Jada was splitting and pounding her pussy into the stage and well, that is just something no one can compete with. As such, Jada once again saved herself as Kaos exited the competition.
As she made her way backstage, I pulled sweet Kaos aside and assured her that despite leaving early, her talent shone through and the world had fallen in love with her. Or at the very least, should have. Kaos is such a kind, gentle soul and I was heartbroken to see her go, but was glad to toast that success with a big tuft of Kafloss.
So, who knew you could make your own floss at home without a spinner? I mean, sure, it is well and truly an arm workout. But for eating a bowl full of sugar without having to eat a bowl full of sugar, it is well and truly worth it.
Enjoy!
Kafloss Serves: 2 dear friends.
Ingredients 1 ½ cups raw caster sugar 5 tbsp corn syrup 2 tsp water 3 drops food colouring, red or pink (or whatever you want)
Method Pop everything in a saucepan and stir together over medium heat until it hits 160°C. Remove from the heat.
Dip a whisk in the syrup and quickly wave it over some baking paper, back and forth, to mimic a fairy floss machine, until strings of sugar form. Repeat as necessary, heating again as needed, until all the syrup is gone and you’re left with a glorious mound of floss.
Then devour.
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Previously on Drag Race France as the dolls edged closer to the end, they were tasked with naming a signature fragrance and starring in the commercial. So aka, French versions of Delusion by Jinkx. While Paloma, Soa and Grand Dame definitely erred closer to Jinkx, Bertha and Lolita gave off more Coco Montrese. Ultimately Paloma shone just that little bit brighter, taking out her second win of the season. Bertha and Lolita meanwhile lip synced for their lives, with Bertha showing skin and Lolita straight up shaving her head. Which proved to be the winning move, saving herself and sending Bertha out of the competition.
Backstage the dolls were shell shocked by Bertha’s departure, as she willed Soa to make it to the end and jag the win in her message. Everyone gathered around to toast her performance and praised Lolita for demolishing the lip sync. The next day the dolls were once again fired up and ready to slay, as Lolita unveiled her fully shaved head. Talk turned to how Paloma killed the challenge, before everyone ran through their track records with Lolita feeling the pinch. Nicky arrived and after shading them by asking where the top four were, she gagged them by announcing that this week’s Maxi Challenge they would have to makeover one of their besties. Grand Dame, Soa and Paloma would be making over their female besties, while Lolita got her best friend slash fellow dancer that looked like his twin.
Everyone split up to kiki with Nicky hanging out with Grand Dame and her friend, who we learnt is a make-up artist and well, they are going to be good. Soa and Jackie would be going with matching energies, Paolma and Camelia were going to go with a vintage theatre look. Which made Nicky nervous, given it sounds so simple.
With Nicky exiting stage left, the dolls started to get their new sisters prepped, with Lolita nervous about her friend walking in heels. But once he got them on, he was living his best life and ready to shine. Paloma’s friend meanwhile, was not as confident given she never wears heels. Soa obviously delighted the other girls, talking about drag being all about personality and to not fear their debuts. Antonio then pivoted and grew nervous about his drag birth, though was focused on making his wife and daughter proud, and to get Lolita to the top. Paloma and Soa then asked if he was going to be tucked and well, that definitely made him nervous. Camelia looked delighted with her Paloma mug, while Kiki lived for Soa’s warrior mug and Antonio was gagged by how beautiful she looked.
Nicky, Daphne and Kiddy were joined by Raya Martigny et Loic Prigent on the panel as Paloma introduced Columbina and well, they were living their best lives giving vintage theatre camp. Lolita and Paquita were delightfully vibrant Mexicanas, with confetti, synchronised dancing and gags and well, I live for them. Soa and Kiki were so good, giving harpy chic and all the drama. While La Grand and Ma Petite Dame were silly and delightful as living dolls and well, to quote Trinity, I LIVE.
Paloma received universal praise for her Irma Vep inspired runway with her only critique being that she was so focused on making sure her new sister was doing ok. And Kiddy being triggered by the matching outfits. Columbina opened up about how proud of her friend she is and well, it was so sweet to watch. Lolita’s friend also gushed about how proud he was of his friend, with them receiving universal praise for the look, despite it erring on the side of gimmicky. Soa opened up about how proud she is to have made it so close to the end, while the judges lived for the theatricality and heart of their runway. Despite it not screaming drag. While La Grand and Ma Petite were beloved for liberating Barbie and looking a million bucks and giving big Paris and Nicole vibes.
Backstage the dolls welcomed their new sisters to the family, with everyone grateful to have a reminder from home to calm their nerves. Talk turned to their fallen sisters, with Soa praising all of them for making it such a fun season. Talk turned to who would be in the bottom with everyone releasing that all the critiques were on the same level and as such, something may be up.
Ultimately there was no winner this week, nor bottoms, as everyone would be competing in a lip sync Lalaparuza to make it to the end. With the winners of the first round of lip syncs jagging a little gift – a new outfit – while the second round would send someone home. First up were Lolita and Soa to Dieu m’a donné la foi. And well, it was an absolute battle as both of the girls came to flight. Soa made the most of her feathers while Lolita revealed a bejewelled bodysuit and a little banana to snack on. Lolita gave acrobatics and attitude, while Soa was in the pocket from start to finish, giving comedy and being an all around star and well, it was only right she made it through to the finale. Particularly since she had her cakes out.
Paloma and La Grande Dame took their place on the stage to lip sync to Le Banana Split, which was a missed op for Lolita, if you ask me. Both the dolls were energetic and having the best time, using every corner of the stage but TBH, I couldn’t take my eyes off Paloma. Botched split be damned. Which rightly earned her a spot in the finale alongside Soa. Oh and a new outfit.
Lolita joined La Grande Dame – well, after an outfit change – to lip sync for the last spot in the finale to La Grenade and well, I’m most shocked about the fact they could afford the rights to three songs in a single episode. While Lolita was brimming with power and fight, La Grande Dame gave glamour and all the attitude. It turned out to be a tight lip sync, but when Grande Dame started giving sass to Lolita, it was clear that she had booked her spot in the finale as poor Lolita was eliminated in fourth place.
Despite falling so close to the end, Lolita rightly felt proud of herself for making it to the top four. Particularly given how strong the season has been. As she rounded the corner to the Werk Room, I pulled her in for a hug and thanked her for bringing so much joy and energy to the season. While at times she felt like an outsider, her bravery in sharing those feelings and building relationships with her sisters was truly beautiful. And well, very deserving of a big, fat Lolita Cubanana.
Do you really need multiple versions of pork on the same sandwich? No. But do I find that question offensive and stupid? You betcha, because a cuban is damn near perfect – from the ham to the roast pork, mingling with the nuttiness of the cheese and the tang of the pickles, this is heaven on bread.
Enjoy!
Lolita Cubanana Serves: 2.
Ingredients 4 slices sourdough 1 tbsp American mustard 4-6 slices leg ham 4-6 slices roast pork 6 slices Swiss cheese 3 pickles, thinly sliced 1 tbsp butter
Method Spread the bread with mustard before piling the ham, pork, cheese and pickles on two of the slices. Use the empty slices to close the sandwich and butter the top.
Pop a skillet over medium heat and once hot, place the sandwiches buttered side down. Spread the butter on top of the remaining butter. Once the sandie is nice and golden, flip and cook for another couple of minutes, or until it is also nice and golden.
Then devour, victoriously. Despite being eliminated just before the end.
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Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under ten queens, Ru, Michelle, Rhys and Raven all willingly underwent mandatory hotel quarantine to show off their maps of Tassie. Sadly something went wrong for some luggage, Raven or Ru as lady-Ru didn’t make her debut until episode two and hang on, wait a minute, I’ve become Dr. Zizmore Seuss. While the season may have been a little hit and miss critically, it was still delightful to see the dolls share our local sensibilities with the world. And most importantly, gift everyone Rhys, the greatest Drag Race judge in any franchise. A fact I am willing to fight over. Oh and Kita Mean spread fake tea that she was the first out only to go on to win. That is, in a word, iconic.
Anyway, everyone packed their bags and headed back to the land of the long white cloud for another season. And you know I am excited.
First to enter our little ol’ Werk Room was Hannah Conda who is as polished and shiny as her pillowy lips. She was joined by Faúx Fúr who took a couple of takes to enter due to her massive Dynasty style hat, but she looks stunning and is loud and delightful and fun and I love her. Oh and Hannah is her aunty, which is cute. They were joined by winner of Kita and Anita’sHouse of Drag Season 2, the doll that beat Elektra, Spankie Jackzon and she is still as wild and charming as ever. Oh and she had her butt and nuts out, so, nothing but respect for my winner.
Brisvegas’ own Beverly Kills was up next giving neon cowgirl sexpot, and well, I am rooting for my local twink! Minnie Cooper arrived coming for Ru’s gig and well, I love everything about her. She is so delightful, hilarious and glamorous. And well, I want to look that good at 40, let alone 50! Molly Poppinz took Bev’s neon cues and made it girly and shiny, and I love everything about her because she is fun. Yuri Guaii arrived as a murderous bride and well, out of drag she can murder my hole. So yes, I love her too and my basement is flooded. Pomara Fifth gave First Nations excellence in the sexiest, sluttiest way and well, I love her with all my heart. Particularly because as a Maori and Aboriginal queen, she intended to willingly declare Pavlova and Crowded House were definitely Kiwi. And bridge any and all other translation gaps.
Aubrey Haive arrived looking like a pastel mod delight, crossed with young Willam and given she is a year in drag, I feel there is hope for anyone starting out because she is polished as hell. Then Kween Kong stole the damn show serving glamour with King Kong’s hand as a cape. And she is hot as hell out of drag and called herself a mother fucker. So yeah, she is my newest winner pick.
Ru dropped by to welcome the new gurls to the family. Oh and address the rumours she wasn’t Down Under last season. And to prove that she is here in person, she asked volunteer Spankie to come stand with her. Before slapping her and making Spankie’s life. Oh and to celebrate the second season, the cash tip was upgraded to $50K for the lucky winner.
We kicked things off with a little sausage fest photoshoot alongside the Pit Crew and well, I am moist. Aubrey was up first and was so sexy and glam, Hannah couldn’t take the biggest sausage due to IBS and gave Ru all the bogan she could dream of and then Pomara oozed sex. Kween Kong was delightful, desperate to snack on the sausage, Spankie was a loving every moment with her hands full, Molly took the big sausage and was damn hilarious, Yuri was stunning, while Minnie was so stupid and had Ru in hysterics. Then Faúx Fúr was all sex and so good, while Beverly Kills lived for her modelling. But ultimately it was Minnie Cooper that rightly took out the first win of the season.
Robert and Bindi Irwin then zoomed in from the Sunshine Coast to help Ru announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge they would need to design a stunning outfit made out of natural or recyclable materials. As soon as the Pit Crew dropped off their bush-filled boxes, the dolls immediately pillaged the supplies and found a space in the Werk Room to get started on their outfits. Minnie and Spankie quickly formed the old lady gang and set themselves up at the back of the room to kiki, while the younguns Beverly, Aubrey and Yuri hung out and shaded Minnie. Which immediately pissed off Spankie, who wanted them to put some respect on her name as Minnie is a damn legend.
Pomara meanwhile was worried that Art Simone was hiding under the trash for her third try. Which is understandable.
As Yuri got to work on her outfit she immediately panicked trying to sew plastic, while Hannah was overwhelmed and embarrassed by potentially being that girl that hot glues stuff to a mould. Kween Kong was hoping to showcase her outfit, while Molly was just super stressed about how she was going to make things work, even with Faúx helping her and giving her advice. Speaking of Faúx, she was singing a lot and driving her sisters a little bit mad, but I love her and her confidence AND how much she was living for her sequin and wheat number. Which wasn’t it, though it did look better than Spankie’s tubing look, so that is good.
Kween Kong meanwhile started to second guess her look and realised she would need to start over if she wanted to avoid being the first boot.
Elimination Day arrived with Kong’s new outfit inspired by Moana and well, my basement is preemptively flooded. Hannah was stressed by the fact her leaves had started to shrivel and die overnight while Molly was worried she would look like a split avo on the runway. Beverly meanwhile was scared by the look Spankie pulled together and concerned that Minnie was stapling her dress together. And that Hannah’s is ugly. As is Faúx and Molly’s. So yeah, Brisbabe is shady and I LOVE her for it. Hannah meanwhile knew her outfit was definitely not it and was terrified of going home.
Ru, Michelle and Rhys reclaimed their place on the judges panel where Beverly opened the Down Under, Naturally runway in a purple plastic delight. It was shiny, well fitting and I love it. Hannah ended up turning it as a green wood nymph and well, on stage it looked good. Minnie was tragically a bit of a mess in a foil bubble wrap number though rocked a computer screen as a clutch, which matters, Aubrey Haive was stunning in a grey, frayed number, Kween stole the show as sexy Maui and well, when its right, its right. Spankie was a bit messy as a space bug, Molly’s look was a stunning wheat and green number, completely with full bush. Faúx served her wheat mini dress before Pomara rocked a glamorous curled bodysuit, while Yuri served glamour in a plastic mermaid gown. That she couldn’t walk in.
Beverly, Minnie, Aubrey and Pomara were sent to safety before Hannah received universal praise, despite Michelle usually hating glue-gunned bodysuits. They loved Kween Kong’s mug and for serving culture, but Michelle felt she was sloppy around the edges. Spankie meanwhile was praised for the fun, though read for filth for missing something – namely pants – in her look. Molly too received universal praise and given she was inspired by Gina Liano, I love it. Faúx was read for wearing black panties and that everything else was one note. Oh and then Yuri was read for being unable to walk in her look, though they lived for the fact she gave them a full fashion moment.
Backstage the safe girls were gagged to learn Spankie, Kween and Faúx were in the bottom, while Spankie broke down over potentially going home without getting to show off her talents. Kween Kong meanwhile was happy with her critiques, though ready to lip sync her way out of it. Faúx meanwhile tried to downplay her disappointment, though pulled herself aside to sob and admitted to Spankie she felt like a joke. Which lead to a nice pep talk from her sister, who reminded her that neither of them are jokes. While Molly was happy to be high, Beverly and Aubrey tried to sell themselves as the high safe ones. Which annoyed the shit out of Minnie and Pomara, who were just as safe as the iconic shade posse. Oh and Spankie was just terrified of facing Kween Kong in the lip sync.
Ultimately Molly took out the first win of the season before Yuri and Hannah were sent to safety. Kween Kong meanwhile was gagged to be deemed safe as Spankie and Faúx lined up to lip sync for their lives to Kylie’s Get Outta My Way. And well, they both bloody served and I love it. Faúx used every corner of the stage while Spankie commanded all the attention as she hit every letter. Faúx was sexy and charming as she nailed each moment, while Spankie straight up spun into a split and well, I feel like that is what gave her the edge. Tragically sending Faúx Fúr home as the newest Porkchop.
Which as you know, is the best place to land if you can’t win. I mean, Jojo Zaho is still one of my faves from last season, as I assume friend of the blog Faúx Fúr will be too! She was charming and energetic as she exited the season. Eventually, since everything is on the other side on the Down Under set and she got lost. Which isn’t generally what happens in Australia and New Zealand, despite what The Simpsons told us.
But I digress. As she made her way backstage, I pulled Faúx in for a massive hug and reminded her that not only is the first boot always one of the most memorable. But so is getting eliminated for an oddly specific reason, like say, wearing black panties under an otherwise decent design look. And as such, her infectious charm will carry her to greatness and I’m so looking forward to seeing where she goes. No doubt with a belly full of inspirational Faúdge Fúr to carry her on.
While fudge is one of the most simple sweet snack you can make, it is also super-duper delicious. Chuck everything in a pot, stir, boil and essentially, you’re in heaven.
Enjoy!
Faúdge Fúr Serves: 2 charmingly loud icons of Australasia.
Method Pop everything into a large saucepan over low heat and stir until sugar dissolves. Increase to medium heat and bring to a steady boil and cook until it reaches 115C on a candy thermometer, stirring constantly to prevent sticking. Remove from the heat and leave to cool for 5 minutes.
Once a little chilled, beat the mixture with a wooden spoon until it goes dull and becomes thick and starts to form a ball. Makes sure you don’t overbeat the mixture, as this will make the fudge grainy.
Press into a lined baking tin and smooth with the back of a spoon and leave for a few hours to set.
Then, carve and devour.
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Previously on All Winners the dolls put on a charity variety show for their penultimate challenge. And given it was going to be an epic show, Ru was generous enough to give out THREE stars each for the top two. Meaning whoever landed in the top got an express pass to the finale. Shea did an original song and was 100% Janet while Monet was the Phantom of the Opera, snatching their place in the top two, booking a ticket to the finale alongside Jinkx. As the person with the most stars, Monet had to break the tie between Jaida and Trinity. And while it was heartbreaking to watch for poor Jaida, Monet selected her twinner to join her. But don’t despair, because Jaida and the rest of the bottom four would ALSO compete for a crown. That of Queen of She Already Done Had Herses.
Backstage the top four were giddy to be eligible for the final crown and $200k, though given the bottom four are still in it for $50k, none of them were overly sad. Raja asked Monet how it felt to have the most stars, while she calmly explained it just means she is better than the rest of her sisters. Monet apologised for crushing Jaida’s dream, explaining she went with Trinity because she won more challenges. And they have seen some shit. While Jaida charmingly cussed her out for going with someone she has known for years, over someone she met on the first day of the season. The Vivienne was just giddy to be in the running for some money after winning a web series on her season, Jinkx gently told everyone she wants it the most and then Monet and Trinity gagged nobody by admitting they had an alliance.
LalapaRuza Day arrived with everyone a little subdued before talk turned to who they think will win the She Already Done Had Herses Crown, with Raja backing herself, while The Viv and Yvie pointed out they have each won a couple of lip syncs in their time.
Ru dropped by to thank the girls for building the legacy of the show before giving the girls one final Mini Challenge with the Pit Crew. Which was actually just getting into 15 minute quick drag and rocking a soul training. Jaida was obviously adorable and charming and looked stunning while doing it, Raja gave stoned aunty realness in all the right ways, Monet was hilarious, Shea was sexy AF, Trinity was a creepy mess and I LIVE, Jinkx did a Natasha Lyonne reprise while Yvie was a purple Diana Ross and The Viv was ultimate chav queen and ugh, I love them all. Which is the sentiment Raja shared, feeling like the 8 of them were destined to be here in this moment together and how she is reinvigorated by knowing them. AND AM I CRYING?!
We pivoted to the mainstage where it was family only as Ru, Michelle, Carson and Ross took their seats as the dolls stomped the Grand Finale Eleganza Runway. Jaida was stunning in a shimmering, dripping white delight in honour of old Hollywood black excellence, Raja was captivating as an iridescent insect queen and was fucking fierce. The Viv gave a sexy black showgirl ball gown, in stark contrast to her original finale gown. Yvie gave three tier cotton candy cake, Jinkx was a stunning medieval maven, Monet was perfection in a futuristic Wakandan nude illusion, Shea was a frilled warm toned delight while Trinity gave baby pink princess realness.
The judges obviously felt Jaida was absolute perfection on the runway, as she was every damn week. And funny, charming, naughty and delightful. Raja rightly was praised for being the look queen of the season and for being such a joy to watch, each and every week. The Vivienne was praised for being such a powerhouse, serving stunning looks and slaying as a performer. They lived for Yvie giving something different each week and just being so good. Jinkx was universally beloved for just being so damn good at every thing she did. Monet was praised for bringing the soul and having the best time. Shea was praised for always having a message and elevating every damn moment, while Trinity was rightly praised for being 100% joy all season, and for leaning into the stupid and being kind with all her sisters.
Ru once again thanked the dolls for all that they have done, squeaking out a tear as she praised them for being heroic beacons for the community. A sobbing Monet then thanked Ru for giving them this show and the platform, and for the love she has given them all throughout the years.
And again, I’m crying.
We then got another live performance from Ru with some creepy/sexy clowns. And now I’m horny crying and so uncomfortable with myself.
Thankfully we moved on with Jaida, Raja, The Vivienne and Yvie returning to the stage for the She Already Done Had Herses Lip Sync Smackdown Lalaparuza For The Crown. Zaddy Alex dragged out the wheel with The Viv selected to compete in the first round, before Alex’s second spin chose her opponent as Yvie. Bruno and Bryce returned with The Viv selecting Bryce’s box, meaning she and Yvie would be lip syncing to Push It by my girls Salt’n’Pepa. Much to her regret, knowing this is right in Yvie’s wheelhouse.
As soon as the song kicked off it was clear the fear was very well founded as Yvie had all the energy and perfect moves for the song. Backflipping around the stage and being an all around star. That being said, The Viv was hilarious, giving iconic comedy and playing to her strengths, mocking what Yvie was doing and living her best life. Tragically though, it wasn’t enough, as Yvie progressed to the final round, leaving The Viv to finish in 7th/8th place. Which really doesn’t show how damn well she performed this season, because she ate. And was more than deserving of her participation sceptre.
Jaida and Raja took to the floor where Bruno returned to unveil their song, Let’s Hear It for The Boy and well, these two killed it. As you would expect. Raja lived every damn moment of the song, exuding joy and once again proved she is still a total star. While Jaida hit every lyric and kicked and flipped around the stage, there was no competing with Aunty Raja’s comedy, fun and general vibe. As such, she progressed to lip sync for the She Already Done Had Herses Crown while the newest icon Jaida sashayed away. No doubt with a new, massive following of fans and confidence in herself as a performer. And ugh, fuck I love Jaida. Particularly because she wanted Raja to buy her a wine AND farted in Michelle’s direction as her exit line.
We then pivoted to the top four as Jinkx, Monet, Trinity and Shea arrived for their first round of lip syncs with Alex’s wheel selecting Jinkx for slot number one, facing off against Shea Coulee. Jinkx then got lucky with Bruno’s box, scoring my girl Lady Gaga’sJudas as their song. Both of the dolls were nervous to be facing off against their sister, which was correct given they were both absolute fire. Jinkx served witchy vamp while Shea was desperate not to suffer the same fate as her last lip sync for the crown, serving a sexy reveal and being an all around bad arse. But yeah, there was no taking my eyes off Jinkx and the magnetic fire she had. Carrying her all the way to lip syncing for the crown. Much to her shock. With Shea being such a talented star, she was just overjoyed for her sister and grateful for her third journey in the competition. And well, if you do not stan Shea, please go to another website, because we stan Shea in there ‘ere parts.
The twinners took the stage and learnt from Bryce’s box that they’ll be lip syncing to – vom – So What by Pink. And despite that, they both served. While I hate that song they were both on fire. They had the attitude and all the right vibes, were absolutely hilarious and bounced off each other so damn well. I mean, it was a SHOW, as Trinity flipped around the stage, Monet was jump splitting and both had perfect comedic timing. And well, if there could be another double crowning moment to face Jinkx, I would take it, but ultimately Ru selected Monet to proceed to lip sync for the crown. And Trinity being Trinity, she was just absolutely charming and gracious in defeat and well, stan her too because she had been an absolute joy this season.
AND OH MY GOD TRINITY AND SHEA WERE FELLED BY A LIP SYNC FOR THE CROWN A SECOND TIME.
Raja and Yvie returned to the stage to lip sync for the secondary crown of the season to Sisters Are Doing it For Themselves. And based on the song alone, you should already know that my favourite Raja ate. Then came back for second and thirds. Yvie is obviously a killer lip syncer and performer, giving acrobatic perfection in every corner of the stage AND a fake-out failed wig reveal. But Raja is just SO enchanting, feeling every lyric and not only having the best time, but dragging you along for all the joy. And well, that was all it took to give Aunty Raja the Queen of She Already Done Had Herses Crown. And again, I AM CRYING.
Raja started to sob as she thanked Ru for putting her life on the trajectory it has had, with Ru praising her spirit and for being such a star. And well, she loves Yvie just as much. Which is why she also got a sceptre, as Ru reminded her that this stage is forever hers, no matter what adversity she may face. Oh and Raja was just grateful for the cashola.
Jinkx and Monet took to the stage for the final lip sync for the title of Queen of All Queens, to Swish Swish by Katy Perry – vom – and my dear Nicky Minaj. And well, Jinkx was desperate for the crown, while Monet vowed to leave everything on the stage to snatch it from her. Monet slow flossed, Jinkx served Carole Baskin realness, Monet flung cash, Jinkx stayed in the comedic pocket, Monet vogued and well, it was a show as both the dolls fought valiantly. Though ultimately, obviously, it was Jinkx that took out the victory and watching her breakdown over the honour was just beautiful. As is her love for her fellow sisters.
And seeing how happy Monet was for her sister was just beautiful, because she, like everyone else in the cast, is an absolute star and easily could have snatched the crown. Since she totally dominated the lip sync. I mean, did you see the lipstick she had prepared with Jinkx’s name written on it? Iconic.
Conveniently, the queen that won the most challenges also went on to win the season, so thankfully I didn’t have to sit around awkwardly with a runner-up, alone in the VIP style and instead got to have a true celebration.
As soon as Jinkx exited stage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and told her just how proud of her I was. While Jinkx had always been a massive favourite to take out an All Winners season as we all dreamed of getting one, so managed to not only live up to the expectations but exceed them with flying colours. Every week, she was consistently perfect and showed just how versatile a performer she is. And that, to me, is more than enough reason to split an Everything but the Kitchen Sinkx Monsoon salad.
This classic Meatball Shop salad truly proves the Springfield you don’t make friends with salad mantra wrong. It is fresh, zingy, hearty and oh so delicious. And the perfect way to honour the inaugural Queen of all Queens. (Because we better get another winner’s season ASAP)!
Enjoy!
Everything but the Kitchen Sinkx Monsoon Serves: 6.
Ingredients ¼ cup olive oil, plus extra for frying 1 large portabello mushroom, stem removed and cap cut into a large dice ¾ tsp kosher salt ½ bunch asparagus, trimmed and cut into 5cm lengths 1 romaine lettuce, trimmed, washed and torn into small pieces ½ fennel head, thinly sliced 30ml sherry vinegar 1 tsp Dijon mustard
Method Heat a lug of olive oil in a large saucepan over medium heat, and cook the mushroom with ½ a teaspoon of salt until it starts to brown and the liquid has evaporated. Transfer to a bowl and allow to cool.
Bring a pot of salted water to a boil and cook the asparagus for a couple of minutes, before draining and running under cold water.
Combine the mushroom, asparagus, lettuce and fennel in a bowl. Whisk the ¼ cup of olive oil with the sherry vinegar, mustard and remaining salt before tossing to coat, serving and devouring. Regally.
Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls celebrated themselves and everyone’s favourite season, awards by hosting and winning a myriad of categories at the inaugural The Who Knows? Awards. Despite fighting all week – to the point of Fiercalicious suggesting Chelazon was trying to set the besties up – she and Kimmy slayed the game. At the other end of the pack, Jada and Moço – other besties that Chelazon paired together – couldn’t bring their back-home magic to the stage, landing in the bottom two together, with Jada sending dear, sweet Moço out of the competition.
Backstage the dolls were shocked by how emotional it was watching Jada send her frequent collaborator slash best friend, Miss Moço, home, while everyone was gagged to realise that the only people eliminated so far were Toronto queens. And each and every time, they were eliminated by their fellow Toronto sisters. Which made Vivian thrilled to be the sole rep from BC. Talk flipped to the top of the pack with everyone congratulating Kimmy on dominating the challenge. And well, she was just excited to prove that she is a comedy queen.
Everyone returned refreshed and renewed the next day, with Vivian ready to ramp it up with a win. Fiercalicious meanwhile was also manifesting a win this week, while Kaos was letting her nervous energy out via burps. Brooke dropped by to remind the dolls that dating is hard and as such, for this week’s Mini Challenge they would do a quick boy-drag for a date with her as practice. And well, Fiercalicious was wearing a jockstrap in the Werk Room. So yeah, I’m wet. Giselle arrived dressed as Grandpa Brooke and it was so damn fun, Kaos went cowboy zaddy rocking leather, so yeah, still wet. Irma Gerd was giving Tom Green in Charlie’s Angels vibes, in the hottest way possible. Bombae gave Grandy Chic, complete with a catheter bag. Kimmy was a rival sugar baby, while Boom Boom was a mess but looked hot, so yeah, I love it. Jada was hot, Fiercalicious rocked the jock before Chelazon was oddly sexual as a beaver catcher and then Vivian stole the show as part Aussie part rat and well, it was hilarious and had Brooke snorting.
Which obviously scored her the win. Because, duh. She’s only ‘uman.
Brooke then gagged the dolls by announcing that for this week’s Maxi Challenge, the dolls would be lip syncing Ru’s catalogue of duets on the mainstage. In pairs. With that, Brooke told everyone to form their own duos, with Chelazon and Kaos getting together, Bombae and Fiercalicious teaming up, Jada and Irma, Boom Boom and Kimmy while Giselle and Vivian quickly grabbed each other. Oh and as the winner of this week’s Mini Challenge, Viv – not to be confused with THE Viv – would have full control over who performs what songs. So well played there, Giselle.
The dolls gathered around to talk songs with Vivian letting everyone talk about which ones they wanted. Which obviously meant everyone wanted the same, forcing Vivian to upset everyone. With Bombae and Fiercalious totally enraged by getting the slow-tempo song, Let The Music Play. Though everyone else was mostly happy, so I guess that’s ok? Irma and Jada talked about how they would turn Peanut Butter, with Jada smartly suggesting they play off their differences. Kaos and Chelazon meanwhile were bonding over the shared First Nations history, and well, it was so beautiful to watch them talk and have Chelazon give Kaos a pep talk about always feeling proud enough to speak up about her experience and to never feel like she isn’t enough. As Vivian and Giselle were living their best lives in rehearsal, Fiercalicious looked on filled in rage and well. It was a mood.
Brooke dragged the queens to the mainstage for rehearsals with Brooke’s former lip sync partner Vanjie. Chelazon and Kaos were going very high energy for Adrenaline. Boom Boom and Kimmy were absolute fire, complete with duckwalks before Bombae dragged her sad partner Fiercalicious to rehearse and almost killed each other by falling from the stage. Irma and Jada looked to be killing it and having fun, while Vivian and Giselle had a very strong base, though Brooke and Vanjie felt they needed a little more thought behind it.
Elimination Day arrived with Boom Boom opening up about her loving partner’s massive dick – which Kimmy could confirm, given she spoke to him on the apps before the duo got together – while Giselle was ready to marry her boyfriend. Things went a little wild as Fiercalicious tried to apologise to Vivian, which annoyed Giselle who called her out for being unnecessarily nasty and as such, told her it will take more than an apology. Despite Vivian being happy to accept it and ready to just move on.
Brooke and Traci were joined on the judges panel by Hollywood Jade and the iconic Miss Vanjie. Kaos and Chelazon opened the show and while Kaos slayed from the start, poor Chelazon appeared to be struggling to stay on the beat and to keep up with her sister. Then as she warmed up, Kaos started to fade. Boom Boom and Kimmy absolutely demolished their song. Fiercalicious and Bombae were far more upbeat than the tempo of Let The Music Play, Jada and Irma were perfect from start to finish, while Vivian and Giselle rocked out with synchronised disco.
Jada was a golden delight as she opened the Sleeves runway. Irma meanwhile was a pastel, under the sea delight, Fiercalicious gave revealed glamour clown, Bombae gave a killer black hair-sleeve number, Chelazon rocked a gorgeous ribboned, two spirit number, Kaos wore a stunning turquoise gown into disco diva, Vivian slayed in a black and white striped gown made of small hands on the skirt, Giselle was stunning in a pink, glamour pantsuit. Also with tiny hands in the jacket. Kimmy rocked a regal black and gold Asian royalty outfit. While Boom Boom was so damn run in a red, mod jacket.
Ultimately Jada, Irma Gerd, Kimmy and Boom Boom were deemed the top before Jada snatched her first win for the season. The four were sent to untuck while the others took their places to be read. Fiercalicious was read for being a mess and not wanting to be there, while Bombae got off as just a little better. Chelazon meanwhile apologised for not having enough energy, which the judges noted, though they liked her runway. Kaos then apologised for being awkward with Vanjie giving her a sweet pep talk, while the judges read her and Chelazon for not working together on stage. Vivian was read for being off the beat, though she and Giselle were both read for not working together and just kinda being there in each other’s presence.
Backstage the dolls congratulated Jada on her first win, while Chelzon broke down over the critiques and feeling so misunderstood. That being said, none of the bottoms could tell who would be lip syncing. Well, except for Vivian and Giselle were just high-fiving with their baby hands and living their best lives.
Returning to the mainstage, Vivian and Giselle were quickly sent to safety before Fiercalicious was sent through to the bottom two. She was gagged to learn her duet partner Bombae was safe, as was Kaos, leaving her to battle with Chelazon to Don’t Call Me Baby by Kreesha Turner. And while Chelazon was emotional and powerful in all the right ways, there is no denying that Miss Fiercalicious is a star. She worked the stage, hit every lyric and carried every emotional beat, and was, as her name suggests, absolutely fierce. So fierce, she saved herself and sent the lovely Chelazon home.
But given she is lovely, she took her elimination in her stride as I pulled her in for a hug backstage. Chelazon has been such a kind, calming presence throughout the competition, sharing so much of herself in addition to her talent, that I am grateful for all that we got to witness from her throughout the competition. So grateful, in fact, that I served her up a Chelazon Lereuben to toast, quite literally, to her success.
There is something so perfect about a reuben. The salty meat, the tang of the sauerkraut and the creamy kick of the dressing work together, almost by fighting for dominance, to create the perfect comforting sandwich. Plus, swiss cheese is always the best.
Method Spread Russian Dressing – which may or may not appear soon – on each slice of bread. Top with Pastrami Malek, swiss and Devon the sauerkraut. Close the sandwich and butter the top of the bread.
Pop a skillet over medium heat and pop the sandwich in the pan, butter side down and gently butter the last remaining, exposed side of bread. Cook the sandwich for a few minutes before flipping and cooking for a further couple of minutes.
Then serve, slice in half and devour.
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Previously on Drag Race France the final six were tasked with forming two girl groups. UK3 style, with two different versions of the same song. This time with a rock edit replacing the ballad. While everyone kind of nailed the assignment, Soa well and truly ate the most and made us feel well and truly fed. Despite an all around strong week, somebody tragically had to be named as the bottom two with Paloma and Elips deemed the weakest. And after another novelty royalty-free lip sync, Elips sadly went home.
Backstage the dolls were gagged to find a very long-winded mirror message from Elips and while it was a bitch to clean for Paloma, it was super sweet and only added to the dolls feeling heartbroken for her. Everyone praised Paloma on killing the lip sync, and again, we didn’t hear the song, so we’ll trust them. Though, I do live for the idea of a season of novelty lip syncs only, right? Because the last one was an absolute bop!
The next day the dolls were giving air hostess realness as they returned, before congratulating Soa for winning her second challenge. Talk turned to what they’ll be facing next, with Paloma wanting an acting challenge given that is the only one she has won so far. Before we could hear anymore, the cock crowed to announce Nicky’s arrival to challenge the dolls with a little puppet mini challenge. Because everybody loves puppets. Big Bertha got puppet Lolita, Soa picked Paloma out of the Pit Crew’s box – swoon – Lolita got – Grande Dame, while Paloma got Bertha, leaving Grande Dame with Soa.
After dragging up their shady boots puppets – the France producers are iconic with Grande Dame’s loooooooong legs – Bertha gave the full Lolita fantasy in the best, verbal-diarrhoea way possible. Soa was a camp, dramatic delight as Paloma, she in turn was hilariously on point as Bertha. Lolita then stole the show, barely seeing over the puppet theatre as she bored the dolls with her impersonation of Grande Dame. Proving you don’t have to be good to steal a show. Though I guess Grande Dame also stole the show with her pitch perfect Soa yo-yo-yo, in the right way. So she truly stole things? Ultimately though, neither won the challenge as Nicky crowned Paloma.
The dolls then learned that for this week’s Maxi Challenge they would have to name and brand their own perfumes, and then film a commercial. But more importantly, the Pit Crew returned looking hot AF with their boxes. As the winner of this week’s Mini Challenge, Paloma was able to allocate said boxea, gifting Bertha iridescent inspiration, Soa bamboo, Grande Dame leather, Lolita got pink sequins and keeping crushed velvet for herself.
With the boxes ready, Nicky departed and the girls unveiled them to find their perfume muses with Paloma, as expected, getting glamour and champagne. Bertha meanwhile got rainbow-clown chic. Minus the chic. Soa got the flavours of the Amazon jungle, Grande Dame’s was obviously leather daddy dom, while Lolita’s inspiration was disco influencer. Everyone started to work on their storyboards before Nicky returned to kiki with Paloma choosing to make fun of herself and the fact she isn’t Paloma Picasso. Bertha was going with the annoying-hen’s-party cliche, Soa planned to give office worker glamazons the scent to kill toxic masculinity. Grande Dame meanwhile was nervous about serving the challenge, while Nicky encouraged her to make it her own before Lolita shared she was planning to go hormonal teen pop star.
Soa was first to film her commercial and well, the Pit Crew were rocking skimpy panties, so I am wet. And she looked to be having fun. But honestly, how could you not? Grande Dame was hilarious as a mechanic, though she forgot to pack her perfume, so it could go either way. That being said, I love her. Paloma was a delight from start to finish, executing all her ideas and doing it perfectly. And then Lolita was a total boss, getting the Pit Crew in costume and living her best life. Bertha meanwhile was a drunk mess, and I love it.
Jour de l’elimination arrived with everyone talking about how they make their living. With Paloma and Grande Dame being full-time queens. As talk turned to how they got their start, Bertha admitted she was sick of getting dressed in bathrooms, while Soa only earnt $20 for her first gig. Bertha then opened up about how she started drag professionally after being diagnosed with cancer. She explained that drag gave her the bright light to look for at the end of the tunnel and something to work towards and fuck, why do I keep crying?!
Nicky, Daphné and Kiddy were joined by Yseult et Alexandre Mattiussi for the Haute Couture runway where La Grande Dame looked straight off the runway in an all black, corseted number with a Gaultier hat. Big Bertha draped nude sheer fabric over her like a caftan and while I love her body-positive message, it felt a bit lazy. Lolita came out on stilts to reach Grande Dame’s height, with a glamour pin cushion on her head. Soa was cool in black, leather and frills before Paloma closed the show with an iconic recreation of a 1920s fashion illustration.
When it came to the commercials, Grande Dame was a hetero mess in the most chrming way possible. Bertha was high energy and fun as the most amusing bachelorette. Lolita meanwhile made no sense, but I loved it. Soa knocked it out of the park as the boss bitch of the office. And then Paloma did one better, leaning into the stereotypes of perfume commercials like Alaska before her, and was just so silly and entertaining.
Grande Dame received universal praise for the runway though they wanted a little more sturcture in the commercial. Bertha meanwhile was read for her runway and for not taking the commerical where she wanted it to go. Lolita was praised for nailing the runway despite her simple commercial. Soa received universal praise for elevating all that she did this week, while Paloma received even better critiques than Soa, giving perfection in all that she did. Paloma then thanked Nicky for her kindness and support throughout the competition and ugh, I’m crying, Nicky’s crying and I love them all.
Nicky then pivoted and asked the shady question of who should go home toight with Grande Dame thinking it is Lolita’s time to go. Bertha agreed it should be Lolita, while Lolita identified Bertha. Very begrudgingly. Soa and Paloma then identified Lolita too, while she quietly cried on stage.
Backstage the dolls were still caught up in all the emotion with Lolita feeling like she doesn’t belong, while her sisters all tried to remind her how great she is and how much they have grown to love her. Lolita called everyone out for only just getting to know her recently, with Soa sharing that she is frustrated by the fact she always felt like she didn’t belong.
Ultimately Soa was deemed safe as Paloma secured her second win, while at the other end of the pack Grande Dame was deemed safe, leaving Bertha and Lolita to battle it out for safety to Yseult’s Corps. And well, I was not only gagged by the fact they paid for the international rights, because they turned it. Bertha emoted every single moment and was so powerful, but there was no beating Lolita who did a slow mo split while ripping off her wig before straight up shaving her head on stage. Bertha was stripping, Lolita stripped AND THEN THEY PERFORMED TOGETHER. Crying, hugging and oh my god, it was amazing. I was crying, they were crying, the judges were crying. It was, perfection. Or le-gend-daire, if you will.
Tragically despite the emotion felt by everyone, somebody had to go as Lolita saved herself and zaddy Bertha was tragically eliminated from the competition. As her sisters and the judges sobbed.
While it was heartbreaking to see her go, my second favourite platitude to offer the queens is that being a robbed goddess is often better than making the finale. And well, Bertha definitely fits the bill. She absolutely slayed every moment of the competition and while she didn’t win any challenges, I’d argue she didn’t really bomb any either. Which is reason enough for me celebrating her run with a La Big Breakfast Buritha.
My favourite thing in life is to turn any food into breakfast by cracking an egg on top and calling it a day, but I assure you, this is far more elevated. Crisp bacon, crunchy hashies and a fresh salsa work together to give you the best start possible to your day.
Enjoy!
La Big Breakfast Buritha Serves: 2.
Ingredients 4 hash browns 6 rashers streaky bacon, diced 6 eggs salt and pepper, to taste 1 tbsp butter 2 large tortillas ½ cup cheddar cheese, grated ⅔ cup Salsa Struthers
Method Start by cooking your hash browns as per packet instructions, or if homemade, until extra crispy.
Pop a skillet over medium heat and cook the diced bacon until nice and crispy. Transfer to a plate lined with paper towel to drain.
Whisk the eggs with a little bit of salt and a generous whack of pepper. Add the butter to the still hot pan and once melted and foamy, pour in the eggs. Agitate to form ripples on the base before gently stroking across the pan in different directions to form ribbons of delicately cooked egg. Once cooked to your liking, remove from the heat.
To assemble, sprinkle some cheese in the centre of each tortilla. Add the hash browns, egg, salsa and bacon, and no judgement if you sprinkle some more cheese on at this point. Fold in either side before rolling to form a nice enclosed pocket of goodness. And then, devour.
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Grab the footy franks and the Tia Maria, Sharon love – we’ve got something to celebrate! Yes, Ru and Michelle have made their way back down under to witness another season of ratchet delights – Ru’s words, not mine – alongside the franchise’s best judge Rhys.
And you just know I was on hand to help keep the dolls happy post-boot, despite being absolutely up to pussy’s bow with recaps and commiserations all around the globe.
You know why? You know why, Kim? Not because I’m a bitch, but because I have a feeling in my waters this season is going to be a winner! Or at the very least, noice, different and unusual.
Who will go from a great hunk of spunk to a total hornbag, worthy of the Down Under crown? And who will stumble at the first hurdle and become the first sheila to sashay away? Likely screaming for a cardonnay and a statue of baby cheeses.
Or, you know, whatever I whip up for them next week.
📷: Stan/TVNZ.
As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.
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