Afternoon Tea

Clover Bishcuits

Baking, Dessert, Drag Race España, Drag Race España 3, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race España the dolls played another littler game show – Un Dos Drags – which was essentially just a low rent version of Snatch Game with them paired up and forced to improv in characters, rather than as celebrities. Pitita and Clover were perfect as a peasant couple leading to the former’s fourth victory in the season, while Vania and Bestiah had a strong concept but just felt flat while Kelly and Hornella were delightfully vapid. After stomping the runway, Bestiah landed in the bottom for struggling in the challenge despite slaying the runway while Kelly sucking on the runway and slaying the challenge earned her a spot in the lip sync. Feeling like she was the one to land Bestiah in the bottom, Vania asked to trade out and lip sync in her place however Supremme and the dolls talked her out of it before Kelly rolled in to another week and the iconic Bestiah was sent home.

Backstage the emotions were still running high as the dolls toasted Bestiah’s killer run, before they turned their attention to the fact that Kelly is the undisputed lip sync assassin, to go along with her prowess at power bottoming. Clover admitted she was shocked to see Bestiah go – same – while poor Vania was still in her feels about feeling responsible for her departure. Pitita tried to praise Kelly for slaying another lip sync, though could barely even muster excitement for the fact she is clearly taking the crown. But she was grateful everyone was proud of her either way. Oh and Hornella unveiled a brain reveal in her wig and ugh, I love that and wish we got it on the runway rather than the heart on the wrong side.

The next day everyone admitted to being shocked to have made it to the top five. Or at the very least, shocked that they had the energy to survive this long in the competition. Supremme dropped by to congratulate the dolls for making the semi-finals and to celebrate, immediately put them through their paces in a cheeky five minute quick-drag. She then wheeled out the Pit Crew and explained they’d then be filling their mouths with liquid, playing scissor paper rock and slapping each other with pancakes. Which is not something I lost in translation. In any event, to win, they had to be the last person standing without spitting out the liquid. And somehow it proved to be another thing that Pitita excelled at as she defeated Vania, Clover and Kelly before she met her match in Hornella. Who eventually grew tired of the battle and just spat on her and bowed out. 

To reiterate, that was all true and translated perfectly.

Anyway, for taking out victory Pitita won a massive kit of make-up and the ability to pair up the queens for this week’s maxi challenge, the makeover! Which really upped the stakes of the game drastically and me thinks Hornella wouldn’t have spat if she’d known. This year the dolls were paired with making Cinderellas out of waste workers and cleaners and after brief introductions, Pitita snatched the one that had already walked in heels, Vania got the sweet lady, Hornella got the hotty and Clover and Kelly got the gentle bears.

After Supremme departed, the duos split up to get to know each other with Kelly vibing with Jorge’s charm and humour, despite his heterosexuality. He explained he also does stand up when he isn’t driving a garbage truck and as such he is confident to take the stage and shine. Vania and Sandra meanwhile were just vibing and living their best lives, bonding and being oh so sweet. Well, to each other, as Sandra is sassy and ready to cut the competition for Vania like a ride or die icon. Clover and Enrique were a little more subdued, until they bonded over the fact people need to always aim their arsehole at the toilet. Which reminds me of a story of a scream I heard from a staff member after walking in on shit covered walls in the female toilets of a David Jones on a Sunday afternoon, butI digress.

Pitita obviously was thriving with her partner Francisco, who admitted he was previously a drag queen for close to a decade, which meant she was far and away at the biggest advantage. Hornella and Javi meanwhile were bonded over the prejudice he has experienced as a garbo and while he is straight, I look forward to him and Hornella getting married. Bouncing back to Kelly though, she was in hysterics watching how badly her partner was walking in heels and it was a joy to watch. But Kelly girl, you’re in danger.

Supremme then made her triumphant return, bringing this iconic Club 96 owning Valentina along for the ride. First they caught up with Vania, loving Sandra’s sassiness and how well she was vibing with Vania. While Valentina just encouraged them to have fun. Pitita delighted them by already having her daughter padded, though that may not last for long given Pitita admitted he used to be a drag queen and as such, their expectations are now sky-high. Kelly y Jorge delighted them with the latter’s comedy chops, which again, could come back to bite them given it ups the expectation. While Clover was just intimidated to be in the presence of the icon that is Miss I’d-Like-To-Keep-It-On herself Valentina, who quickly taught her daughter how to walk in heels for Clover. While Hornella was working hard to make sure I ship a non-couple by highlighting how much she loves Javi.

Dia de eliminacion arrived with the girls manic as they split up to get their daughters ready for their mainstage debut. After shaving away the beards and glueing down the brows, Pititia opened up to Francisco about how excited she was to be doing the makeover and how relieved she was to get someone with experience. Clover meanwhile shaved Enrique’s eyebrows off while Vania and Sandra just continued to bond, with Vania opening up about the time she was the victim of a hate crime and how even the police blamed her, given she was in drag and ugh, this is why I hate people. Just to reiterate that sentiment. Not Sandra though, who gave her a pep talk and told her not to let losers take her shine. Essentially. So I love Sandra, hate people.

Hornella meanwhile was opening up about how supportive her mum has always been, however spoke about her difficult relationship with her father. And the way Javi immediately rallied and told him how loved he is makes me happy to have such delightful allies. Kelly and her daughter meanwhile spoke about the former’s passion for roller skating and how it made her feel free and while it added nothing, it was sweet, so I love it.

Supremme, Ana y Los Javis were joined on the panel by the iconic Valentina as Pititia y Noah opened the Barricientas runway serving camp, vintage glamour and all the cohesion. Kelly Roller and Nelly Moller served shimmering party girls at a ball with an open bar. Hornella y Hortensia were stunning and silly, rocking full glam as they took out the trash. And served sex, in Hortensia’s case. Clover y Cúrcuma served full disco, complete with golden sequined toilet rolls which were very important, if you ask me. While Vania y Nati were perfectly in harmony with their contrasting looks, giving joy, glamour and all the fun. And well, it was good. I mean, Sandra is an actrice.

Pitita received praise for telling a story and doing a solid job, despite not making her sister as glamorous as herself. Kelly was praised for bringing the comedy and cohesion while Hornella was praised for bringing stunning mugs, though below, was read for lacking polish. Clover was praised for her storytelling, though read for not putting enough into her daughter’s outfit. While Vania received wall-to-wall praise for serving up two stunning looks, not being afraid to let her daughter outshine her and most importantly, giving a fun narrative on the runway.

Backstage the dolls praised their new daughters for absolutely slaying the runway and being so open to everythings. Kelly went so far as to say it was her favourite time on the mainstage, which again, is super sweet. Pitita thanked Francisco for doing such a solid job, though knew she wasn’t winning. Vania on the other hand was thrilled by how much the judges loved what she and Sandra did. Hornella meanwhile started to break down, disappointed to have not been able to cut through with the judges while Clover too was dejected, though kinda expected it, given the judges are always harder on her.

Back on stage, Pitita was asked to give advice to her younger self, encouraging him to dream big and always believe in yourself because there is a place for her in the world. Kelly meanwhile told baby Kelly to always enjoy skating, stay on the right track and to rally around those that love you because she is worthy of love. Hornella reminded her adorable self – on the toilet, no less – that she will have a marvellous life, though to spend more time with her dad and make the most of the time you have. Clover encouraged her younger self to find those that support her and to never worry about not being normal. While Vania encouraged herself to follow her own path and always be proud of herself.

Ultimately Pitita was deemed safe while Vania took out the win, making them the first two members of the top four of the season. Kelly was the next to join them, leaving Hornella and Clover to battle for the final spot to Natalia’s Vas a Volverme Loca. And while Clover was obviously living her best life, hitting every note and giving clean lines and tricks, Hornella’s experience shone through, giving camp and turning a show as she bounced off Clover’s energy. Which was enough – outside of the track record – to save her and send her through to the finale, leaving Clover to finish robbed in fifth place.

As she made her way backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and immediately started ranting and raving about how disappointed I was to see her be booted. And honestly, never appreciated. While Clover is a baby queen, she brought such a high level of polish, skill and energy that you honestly could mistake her for a veteran. And again, I feel like the judges never gave her the props she deserved. But you best believe I did, toasting her bright future with a big batch of Clover Bishcuits.

While I don’t really have a reason for making these cookies halloween themed – aside from the spooky way she was overlooked by the judges like a ghost – that doesn’t make them any less delicious. I mean, almondy sugar cookies? Sign. Me. Up.

Enjoy!

Clover Bishcuits
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
250g unsalted butter, softened
250g raw caster sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp almond extract
500g plain flour
1 tsp baking powder

Method
Cream the butter and sugar together in a large bowl using a stand mixture until it is pale and so fluffy it looks to be pulsating. Add the eggs one at a time, allowing the mixture to come back together in between, before beating in the almond extract. Fold through the flour and baking powder before returning to the mixer and beating for a minute or so, or until it comes together into a ball. Shape into two discs, wrap in some cling and pop in the fridge to bind for about an hour or so.

Preheat the oven to 170C and roll the dough out to a 5mm thickness. Cut using whatever cookie cutters you desire, though I recommend something to highlight Clover’s robbery. Pop the shapes on lined baking sheets and knead the offcuts together, roll and cut into more shapes, repeating until done.

Pop the cookies in the oven to bake for 10-15 minutes, or until firming and lightly browned. Remove and leave to cool on the tray for 10 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely. Then either devour, or decorate in your spookiest manner and then devour.


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Jaime Lynormandy Pearuiz Cake

Baking, Cake, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 44, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor our icon Carolyn was inspired by the release of the remake of The Little Mermaid, designing impressive statement jewellery using the shells of lobsters and prawns. Actually, maybe it isn’t inspired and more she went on a Mad Max style adventure through the ocean. After Yam Yam took out his first immunity challenge of the season – the iconic Last Gasp – the tribe were split on who was the most threatening. You had Ratus and Sokas looking to put aside their differences to take out Carson while the Tika couldn’t trio couldn’t decide which side was more dangerous, and then of course, who was worse for their game on Soka. With Queen Carolyn ultimately coming out on top and playing an idol to save her baby Carson, completing her revenge arc as Danny made his way to the jury.

Back at camp Heidi was way more chill about being on the outs at tribal council, with everyone more focused on Carolyn’s iconic – though needless – idol play. Despite it not changing the outcome, Carolyn was proud of the fact it kept the Tika trio safe to the top six. She then regaled everyone with her tales of finding the idol and while it was cute, Yam Yam was worried she was showing everyone just how smart she is and as such, feared she is fast becoming the biggest threat. Sensing the idol would be rehidden, Heidi woke up early to go hunting. Though sadly for her, Carson spotted her stirring and as such, he woke everyone up and told them they too should go out and look. While Lauren was more focused on luring Carolyn into climbing trees to collect her coconuts. The Ratus caught up with Carson and Yam Yam back at camp, with Lauren floating the idea of getting rid of Carolyn next, like her coconut collector means nothing to her. While Carson had absolutely no interest in turning on his island mama, he also knew he had to pretend to be keen in order to blindside one of them.

The tribe caught up with Probst by the beach for an epic team reward where two blindfolded members would push another person around, strapped inside a ball before solving a table maze. With the two free people still blindfolded. And given it was for a massive afternoon of food and massages, everyone was fired up. Carolyn and Heidi were pushing Jamie on one team, while Yam Yam and Lauren rolled Carson for the other. And from the jump, the latter trio got out to an epic lead as Carson calmly directed his team mates to the end before solving the maze before the other trio barely made it through the course.

We followed the victors to their reward where Yam Yam was delighted to finally have a reward, smashing food and living his absolute best life. As they sat down to enjoy their massages, the boys continued to paint Carolyn as a massive target to Lauren and while Carson assured us it was just to lull her into a false sense of security, Yam Yam was definitely feeling like it may actually be time to make a move on Carolyn. Speaking of our icon, she, Heidi and Jamie were dejected to be slumming it at camp. But instead of wallowing, they got to work figuring out which of the victors needed to go next, with Jamie pushing for Carson. And while Carolyn knows she can’t beat him, she also felt it wasn’t the right time. As Jamie went idol hunting, Carolyn and Heidi caught up with the duo agreeing they feel like they can’t trust Jamie and Lauren, and as such, know they need to hold firm. For now.

After the groups came back together, Yam Yam burped in Carolyn’s face – as requested – before Carolyn and Carson caught up to fill each other in on the conversations they had missed. Agreeing that either Jamie or Lauren need to go, given Heidi gives them an easier path to the end. Yam Yam meanwhile caught up with Jamie and floated the idea of getting rid of Carolyn at the next vote instead and while Jamie was still more nervous about Carson, she was happy just as long as one of the Tikas went and as such, gladly locked in on the vote. And Yam Yam, please don’t do this to me, ok?

The tribe caught up with Jeffrey once again as he explained that to snatch immunity, they would have to balance a ball on a disc that is held flat by two ropes with the last person standing winning. Jamie was the first to drop, quickly followed by Carolyn and Carson, before Yam Yam just missed out on going to the next stage. Heidi and Jamie moved further away from their discs before resetting and battling it out until Heidi couldn’t hold it any longer, handing Lauren immunity.

Back at camp everyone split up to scramble, with Carolyn and Heidi concerned about the fact nobody was talking to them. As such, they locked in their votes against Jamie. Heidi meanwhile was hopeful that she was being told the truth, but knew that worst case, she has her idol. While Carolyn was looping in the boys, Heidi stumbled upon them, with everyone agreeing to get rid of Jamie. Hopeful that even if she has an idol, she is so confident in the boys voting with her that she doesn’t play it. Yam Yam caught up with Lauren and Jamie to lock in the Carolyn vote and while I think the plan is to only make them think they are working together, he then caught up with Carson and floated that maybe they would turn it into a reality. And ugh, I hate it here. While King Carson calmly tried to steer him back to their original plan, Jamie. As Yam Yam debated the merits of trusting his brain and his heart.

At tribal council Probst was gagged to discover the tribe had brought everything with them, assuming they will be sent to a new beach for the rest of the game. Yam Yam joked about holding on to the rice as an immunity idol, while Carson just felt anxious about being vulnerable. Jamie mentioned that they still have to try and navigate around advantages, which Yam Yam agreed complicated everybody’s decision making. Jamie meanwhile wanted to jazz up her resume – her words – while Yam Yam admitted he is getting more and more confused about who would be best to go to the end, which complicates who he is working with. While Carson just worried about going through a break-up this close to the end. Yam Yam admitted he is getting more and more emotional when it comes to the votes, knowing his head needs to win at this point, which obviously made Carolyn nervous.

Our Queen spoke about the fact she has clearly played an emotional game, but that also doesn’t mean that she can’t be strategic. But yeah, you know she is emotional about the vote. Yam Yam then plainly said that the person leaving tonight is the one that needs to leave for the sake of everyone’s game. And ugh, I want to vom. With that the tribe voted, Heidi played her idol for herself before it thankfully turned out not to be my sweet icon Carolyn going home as the boys stayed loyal, joining Carolyn and Heidi to send Jamie off to the jury.

As she arrived at Ponderosa, I pulled Jamie in for a massive hug and just embraced her kind, loving, exuberant spirit. And then realised the producers have really been trolling her for the entire season through no fault of her own, so stealthily covered her ears and told her fellow jurors to break the fake idol information to her gently. Sadly I forgot as soon as I uncovered her ears, carelessly lol-ing about her closest ally making her the producers’ target of the season. Thankfully, though, she is a delight, so took it in stride and calmly sat down to smash a fresh Jaime Lynormandy Pearuiz Cake.

Rich and sweet pears and the dense crumb of the cake pair perfectly for either an afternoon treat or a decadent dessert. Better still, this cake is super easy to make but will always have you looking like a pro in the kitchen.

Enjoy!

Jaime Lynormandy Pearuiz Cake
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
150g butter, at room temperature, plus extra for greasing
¾ cup raw caster sugar
2 eggs
1 ½ cups flour
1 tbsp baking powder
½ cup sour cream
500g pears, peeled, cored, roughly diced
½ cup walnuts, roughly chopped
⅓ cup sultanas
1 tsp mixed spice
½ tsp cinnamon
⅓ cup brandy
2 tbsp maple syrup
icing sugar and/or double cream, for sprinkling or dolloping respectively

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C and rub some butter around the edge of a 23cm springform pan and place a disc of baking paper on the base.

Cream the butter and caster sugar in a stand mixer on medium until pale and fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time, allowing the mixture to come back together in between. Fold through the flour and baking powder, and once together, fold through the sour cream. Return to the mixer on low and beat for a further minute. Remove from the mixer and fold through the pear, walnuts, sultanas, mixed spice and cinnamon. Transfer the batter to the prepared tin and pop it in the oven to bake for 45 minutes, or until an insert skewer comes out clean.

While the cake cooks, combine the brandy and maple syrup in a small saucepan over low heat and cook, stirring, for a couple of minutes, or until combined.

Once the cake is done, use the skewer to pierce holes over the surface before pouring over the syrup. Leave to rest for about 15 minutes before transferring to a wire rack and removing the sides of the tin. Serve barely warm with a dusting of sugar or dollop of cream, and devour joyously.


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Mistress Isamaple Crookies

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 15, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race the top five played a little quiz game for the power to assign teachers for this year’s makeover. Despite having to read herself for the win, Loosey paired everyone with people that made sense for each of them. Well, except for Luxx, who she decided to take revenge on for reading her for filth all season. While Loosey and her new sister looked like legit twins, the judges felt they had no chemistry on the runway. Luxx gave nothing to build their family resemblance, though her new daughter did look like Jennifer Collidge which should count for something. Ultimately Anetra was perfect from start to finish, which handed her her third win of the season while Luxx and Loosey faced off in the lip sync, with Luxx coming out on top and sending Loosey out in fifth place.

Backstage the dolls soon discovered Loosey was completely annoyed to be eliminated, while Luxx found it hilarious that Loosey was eliminated after trying to play dirty. Mistress on the other hand was just proud of Loosey for finally admitting she was playing the game, in addition to being stiff competition. Luxx admitted she was heartbroken to have been in the bottom so close to the end, while everyone was just excited to have made it to the top four. Anertra was proud of herself for being neck and neck with the one and only Ms Colby, while Sasha herself was just hoping for no last minute goopery costing her place in the competition.

The next day Ru dropped by to announce that for their final maxi challenge, the dolls would be writing and recording verses on Ru’s song Blame It On the Edit before filming the film clip with Miguel Zarate (swoon). And sitting with Ru and Michelle for a tic tac lunch, like icons. Oh and then he announced that only three of them will be going through to the finale, which obviously left them gagged. Just as Sasha feared. After Ru left, the dolls split up to listen to the song and work on their lyrics. Mistress was obviously super confident given she is shady as hell, while Sasha is glad she knows words. Anetra was planning to lean into her brand – voguing and sex – while Luxx felt like she had it in the bag, so went aside to have a nap like Pearl and Jinkx before her.

Sasha was first up to chat with Ru and Michelle, welcoming them to the meet and greet before talking about her epic career leading to this point. She admitted that she has struggled throughout the season, not wanting to do too well given she didn’t want the girls to hate her. She opened up about how her lack of support from her mother is what makes her worry about gaining people’s approval. She then went very deep, talking about how she was left everything after her father died, and how that was almost a seal of approval. And ugh, crown her.

Speaking of crowning her, Sasha’s co-winner Anetra was up next, talking through growing up Mormon and how drag is what opened her up to every colour of the rainbow. Michelle then gushed about how good her and Marcia’s lip sync was – shoulda been a double save – labelling it the greatest of all time. She spoke about how she learnt to vogue in Vegas, while Ru praised her for always bringing something to the challenges that only she can. Oh and you best believe winning would mean everything to her, and prove everything was worth it.

Mistress was next up, talking about what made her such an outspoken icon and how that got under Loosey’s skin. Who she in turn felt was different on camera to what she was like when the red light went out. She spoke about how she came to the competition wanting to prove why she deserves the crown, and that she desperately wants to make everyone proud. Particularly Mama Chavelle, winner of Season 16. Oh and you best believe she is now in her top three era. She tapped out with Luxx who spoke about how she came to the competition ready to serve looks at every moment. Oh and she opened up about going to Cicely Tyson high school and honestly, I am jealous as all hell. She spoke about how her parents taught her to be confident and proud of herself, and you know she took that and ran and now, is always ready to prove a bitch wrong.

The top four came together on set to work through the choreography and given Sasha is serving Barbwire realness, you know she is winning. Everyone admittedly looked amazing, though Mistress kinda got stuck in her head, worried about learning it all in time and ugh, it sucks to see someone so confident get so nervous. Without any time to process things, the back-up dancers were brought in and the dolls were put through their paces in front of the red light. Luxx was perfect from start to finish, while Anetra was surprisingly nervous. Most importantly, Luxx lost a nail in her outfit and ugh, she is hilarious and I am going to miss her when the season is over. They traded out with Sasha and Mistress and similar to the others, Sasha was perfect at every damn moment, while Mistress was so focused on the choreography, she didn’t give the attitude.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to prepare for the final runway, with everyone shocked by how quickly the challenge has gone. Luxx and Sasha were obviously thrilled to have nailed the challenge, while Mistress vowed not to let the choreo get her down. Anetra too was nervous, given it took her some time to get it down, though was confident she did enough in the end. Mistress asked everyone to talk through their first impressions, with Anetra loving Luxx from the start while the dolls were all shocked by how kind and down to earth Sasha is, given she is as sickening as her legacy. Mistress always knew Anetra would be a silent assassin, while everyone was gagged by how much she has grown as she came into her own around the dolls. Anetra meanwhile loved that while Mistress is obnoxious, she showed she also had a massive heart too.

Talk turned to all of the feuds and damn, these girls really fed us with the drama. Well, Luxx at least, who found herself at the centre of all the -gates. Before they turned their attention to the fact one of them will win, with everyone confident they deserve to make it to the top but also nervous about falling so close to the end.

It was family only on the judges panel as Ru, Michelle and Ross took their places on the panel as Anetra opened the Drag Excellence runway looking stunning in a fitted blue velvet gown in honour of her Asian heritage. Luxx meanwhile was perfect in a shimmering white gown with a huge, curly wig. Sasha meanwhile was glorious in a silver crystal gown, referencing her Hawaiin heritage in the best ways possible. Before Mistress closed the show in a fringed, crystal cheetah print gown and ugh, I love it. Particularly since she wore it in a pageant previously, meaning she is the Kate Middleton of drag. When it came to the film clip, we may be able to Blame it on the Edit because everyone was stunning. Anetra was fierce as hell and v on brand, Luxx was full chanteuse, Sasha was sexy and perfect in every moment, while Mistress rapped the house down and delivered all the attitude.

After thanking the top four for all nailing the challenge, the judges praised Anetra for combining old and new on the runway and looking beautiful. They praised her for getting stronger from week to week, and truly shine when she let them in. Oh and Ru was proud of her, no doubt for showing off her branding prowess by always walking the duck. Luxx was praised for having such impeccable taste and always looking perfect. And showing off everything she has to offer. They all spoke about Sasha’s legacy and how somehow she exceeded all expectations week after week, and constantly slayed. And more importantly, she showed her massive heart and how she is always giving back to her sisters and the community and AGAIN, crown her. While Mistress was beloved for always giving polish and charm, truly showing Houston excellence at every moment. Though also being a versatile and intelligent performer each week.

Ru pulled out a picture of 5 year old Isiah, asking Anetra what she would tell herself, asking him to hold on through the dark days, knowing that one day the world will be safe for you to shine. And it will be so much better than she can even imagine. Luxx told baby Justin that all his dreams will come true, he just needs to know that everything that comes his way is what makes him who he is. Sasha told baby Sasha that she is a stunning woman, and that trusting her instincts will be what makes her dreams come true so just hold it down and know that you are loved. While Mistress told herself that despite how confusing life will be most of the time, that fire within will be what keeps him holding on to hope and that eventually, he will find his tribe and achieve the world.

Backstage the dolls were gagged by the fact one of them will still go home, with Mistress in particular nervous about struggling through the challenge given she has slayed all season long. The dolls rallied around her, agreeing she has done so well that it would suck to be in the bottom. Luxx was fairly confident she would not be in the bottom, despite Mistress reminding her she is kinda delusional. Sasha praised them all for being different and giving something unique, while they reflected on how great they have been throughout the season. Mistress’ least favourite moment was calling Marcia’s drag cheap and her favourite was proving herself in the Snatch Game. Anetra called Luxx’s highlight wearing her Ru look, while she loved saying Loosey should go home. While Sasha pointed out Mistress struggled with Love Connie, while her least favourite was the standup challenge. Everyone agreed that Anetra’s favourite moment should have been her ninja realness in the talent show, though.

Ultimately Sasha took out her fourth win of the season and booked her place in the finale, before Luxx was sent through to join her. Meaning Anetra and Mistress would have to face off for the final spot to Kelly Rowland’s – I don’t care about David Guetta – When Love Takes Over and ugh, they were stunning. Both of the dolls leant into the passion of the song, hitting every lyric, being silly when required and obviously serving tricks  as Anetra walked the duck once again, as Mistress tried to swat her out of the competition. It was cute, it was fun and well, thankfully Ru went back on her word, going with a double shantay and keeping both of the girls in the running moving on to the finale.

Despite the fact all the dolls were kept in place, I had already gotten busy in the kitchen, so tapped Mistress on the shoulder and told her that I’d like to pre-emptively celebrate her run in the competition. And given the number of wins was the fairest way to decide who would be first, she was the first I’d be catching up with. While she questioned whether that meant I didn’t think she would win, I pulled her in for a massive hug to stop her questioning, instead getting her to focus on how good her run was. As despite only getting one win, there is no denying how good she has been each and every week. Which alone makes her more than worthy of a shot at the crown and a piping hot batch of Mistress Isamaple Crookies.

These cookies are the perfect little snack – Halloween decorations, or not. The delicate flavour of the maple works perfectly with the crunchy cookies to provide the ultimate all rounder snack. Perfect for celebrating a queen that is good at nearly everything.

Enjoy!

Mistress Isamaple Crookies
Serves: 8-12.

Ingredients
300g flour
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp kosher salt, plus a pinch for icing
150g unsalted butter, at room temperature
200g muscovado sugar
1 egg, at room temperature
160ml maple syrup
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup pecans, roughly chopped
115g icing sugar
any sprinkles you feel inspired by, for decoratin’

Method
Sift the flour, cinnamon and baking soda into a bowl, and add the salt. Meaning in a stand mixer, cream 120g of butter and the muscovado sugar on medium for a couple of minutes, or until light and fluffy. Scrape down the sides, add the egg and mix for a further minute on low. With the mixer running, add half the maple syrup and vanilla extract, mixing until just combined. Remove from the stand mixer and fold through the dry ingredients and pecans before returning to the mixer and beating for a minute or so, until well combined. Form the dough into a disc, wrap in cling wrap and transfer to the fridge to chill for a couple of hours.

Preheat the oven to 180°C and line two baking sheets. 

Once the dough is chill, using an ice cream scoop, roll out 1-2 tablespoon balls of dough and pop on a baking sheet, allowing plenty of room for spread. Once all rolled out, pop the sheets in the oven and allow to bake for about 15 minutes, or until lightly browned and cooked through. Remove from the oven and allow to cool on the tray for a couple of minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

While the cookies get chill, pop the remaining butter and maple syrup in a small saucepan and whisk over a low heat until combined. Whisk in the icing sugar and a pinch of salt and stir until it has come together again. Drizzle the warm glaze over the cookies, add sprinkles for fun and allow to set for five minutes before devouring. Like a winner.


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Loosey LaDucanut Cake

Baking, Cake, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 15, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race the producers once again proved to be shady little icons, as the top six starred in Wigloose! The Rusical, mere moments after Anetra sent Marcia Cubed home in the lip sync of the season. After everyone kind of knocked it out of the park and slayed the runway, leaving Ru to jump on the shade train and task his dolls with identifying who should go home for him. Luxx gave an elaborate Ted Talk about how wonderful and unique everyone is except for Loosey, Loosey and Anetra said Salina, Salina returned serve and identified Loosey while Mistress wanted to put an end to Sasha’s meet and greet. Sasha on the other hand wanted to cut Luxx or Loosey for being her biggest threats. Ultimately though another emerged as Anetra took out her second victory, before Loosey defeated Salina and sent her back to WeHo.

Backstage the dolls were disappointed to have lost Salina, well mainly just Sasha, who considers her a friend and shared how proud of her she is. They discovered her mirror message was about her deserving to go home, which obviously made Loosey feel a certain way, given her name was said multiple times too. And you know she felt it just sucked. As they sat down, Mistress laughed about how she could have been mean but didn’t, so hello congeniality era, yet again. Luxx meanwhile doubled down on EVERYTHING she said, with Loosey trying to be calm as she said she will obviously disagree. She bit her tongue as best she could, with Luxx shutting it down, reminding them the end is in sight and that she will be doing nothing but focusing on making it.

The next day the tension was put aside as Mistress assured them she will be winning this week before Ru dropped by to briefly distract them with a little Spill The Tea mini challenge, complete with Norvina. Basically it is a quiz where they have to answer questions guessing who the group thinks will be the most likely answer. If that makes sense, because I really struggled to think that one through. In any event, it was a little bit shady and a whole lot of fun, with everyone kinda feeling their oats and laughing it up, with Loosey even saying she will be the next to go home just to guarantee her victory in the challenge.

After Norvina was swept away, Ru announced that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would makeover teachers in honour of his High School drama teacher. And as the winner of the mini challenge Loosey had the power to pair up the queens with their teachers and while she had the opportunity to be shady, she literally paired them up with their most similar person. Well everyone except Luxx, meaning she is either winning or sending Loosey home and there is no in between.

The duos split up to get to know each other with Anetra’s teacher – Mrs Mahoney – a Drag Race superfan absolutely adorable, despite being nervous to walk the stage. Loosey praised Mrs Wallace for being so smiley and happy and they are super similar, so this should be easy for Loosey. Mistress and Miss Tang were essentially twinning and I love that for them, particularly as her teacher broke down as Mistress thanked her for living proudly and vibrantly for her students. Sasha and Mrs Marchbanks – who watches Drag Race with her husband – were ready to go OTT and pad for the Gods, while Luxx just seemed a little awkward, despite Mrs Reyes giving her full control over everything. While Luxx worked on the outfits and completely forgot they needed to form a relationship too. Mistress’ daughter quickly learnt to be as shady as her mama, challenging Loosey’s daughter to a walk off. And while I’d love to say Mistress and her baby won, Loosey’s daughter kinda served. But trust, Mistress was focused on winning when it counts.

Ru dropped by to kiki with the queens with Sasha first up introducing her daughter Ferocity Colbybanks and talking through their sexy Hawaiian looks. Mistress rightly played on her daughter’s name, christening her Madame Thang, with her sharing she will also be whipping up two velvet gowns. Which will be super easy to hide a kitten heel under, just in case Madame can’t walk. Oh and Madame Thang is adorable and I love her. Anetra and her daughter were awkward and giggly, and I love them. As does Ru, so lets hope they both walk that fucking duck. Luxx and Mrs Reyes – aka Asia Azul – were very mismatched and while I want Mrs Reyes to kill it because she is adorbs, I have a bad feeling. While Lala and Loosey LaDuca were going with the vibe of rich ladies at the beach, with Ru getting shady and asking Loosey how she felt about queens saying she should go home. And what do you know, she would have Ru believe that she is completely unbothered.

Oh and before Ru departed she announced that in addition to walking the runway, the newest queens would also be lip syncing. So they have even more work to do. Loosey and Lala were first up to talk through lip syncing and Mrs Wallace is such a delight, I want only good things for her. Sasha was delighted her daughter knew who Leiomy is, Mistress went full Abby Lee on her daughter while Anetra tried to help her find her duck walk. And well, poor Luxx’s teacher was giving mum dancing and it was so sweet and she needs to win just because of that.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone split up to get their daughters in drag, wth Anetra proud hers wants a resting bitch face. They then bonded over wanting to find a place to escape reality, before Anetra asked if she believes people can unlearn bigotry and even just hearing Mrs Mahoney talk about how she definitely thinks things can always get better, I am filled with hope. Luxx’s teacher asked if she had experienced homophobia, with her opening up to Luxx that she left her church because she couldn’t stand them not accepting her children. Like a damn boss. Mistress’ daughter was nervous about walking the runway but distracted herself by getting shady, asking everyone to talk about their track records. With Loosey continuing to believe mini challenges matter. Mistress pointed out that Lala looks exactly like Loosey before they taught the dolls some slang. While poor Asia Azul looked bored and sad. While Loosey felt Mistress’ teacher looked like a Disney Villain, which is basically Mistresses vibe, so win.

Ru, Michelle and Ross were joined on the panel by Hayley Kiyoko as Sasha and Ferocity Colby walked the runway looking absolutely perfect. They were twinning, they were glam and oh so confident, and I love it. Loosey and Lala gave girls-trip realness, Mistress and Madame were full on glamazons before Luxx and Asia looked beautiful but gave zero family resemblance. And well, then Anetra and Alektra gave sexy Dr Evil and Mini Me realness and well, crown them now. 

The judges gave Sasha nothing but praise for giving complete family resemblance and clearly vibing. Ferocity meanwhile loved being padded. Loosey was praised for looking alike, though Michelle felt they weren’t on the same page on the runway while Ross wished that Lala’s shoes had been stoned for the occasion. Mistress was beloved for dripping in chemistry and attitude, before Luxx was praised for making Asia look so stunning – and giving off Jennifer Coolidge – before being read for doing absolutely nothing to give resemblance. Oh and then Anetra was praised for knocking everything this week completely out of the park, particularly for inventing the arm foreskin. And by the time she praised her teacher for bringing all the queerness to the classroom, it was clear it was another win for her.

Before sending the queens backstage, Ru put the teachers through their paces in their first lip sync for their lives to Ru’s Champion and well, they were all so amazing and living their best lives. And yeah, I love them. Particularly since Mrs Reyes is basically Jennifer Coolidge when she moves too.

Backstage the dolls toasted themselves for making the top five before Luxx announced that she knows she will be lip syncing. But trust and believe, she is ready for a fight and good luck to whoever she faces. She then pointed out Loosey is likely lip syncing with her, with Loosey agreeing, though quickly pointing out that she disagrees completely with the judges opinions and thinks she doesn’t belong in the bottom. Luxx accepted all of her critiques, though pointed out her teacher was living and having star quality is clearly their family resemblance. She then asked Loosey why she was shady with the allocations, with her trying to say it was because she was competition before admitting it was also because she was rude to her, leading to some epic tension. For ages. Before Mistress turned things positive, praising Anetra and Sasha for doing so well.

Talk turned to the teachers with Luxx living for how lovely Asia is as a parent, protecting her queer kids and supporting them to live their authentic lives. Loosey asked her sisters about their drag families, with Sasha pointing out they can provide all the love and support that queer people often miss out from their bio families. Sasha then got a call from the iconic Kerri Colby and ugh, I love her so much. And how much she is riding for Sasha to take out the win, which is correct. Loosey was up next with a call from her family and friends, breaking down as she got the unconditional love and support she had clearly needed. She then opened up how hard it is to be away from her family, apologising for being robotic due to being so focused on the competition.

The teachers dropped by to join their mothers who brought a lovely energy to the room, with Mistress explaining why Loosey and Luxx were rehearsing. Sasha’s teacher thanked her for making her dreams come true and then asked to stay in touch and ugh, I am so damn jealous she gets to be Sasha’s friend.

Ultimately Mistress and Sasha were sent to safety before Anetra rightly took out her third win of the season, leaving Loosey to lip sync for her life against her nemesis Luxx. And well, maybe she shouldn’t have set up Luxx, because she can turn it. That being said, you know that Loosey felt she didn’t belong in the bottom and was angry. So angry, she was ready to demolish Hayley Kiyoko’s For the Girls. As Loosey fought valiantly, giving camp and sass, Luxx was all fire, giving tricks, energy and all the sex and ugh, it was good. But sadly, once again track record took precedence as Luxx was sent to safety leaving Loosey to exit. In tears. 

As she found me back in the Werk Room, I pulled her in for a massive hug and praised her for giving such a dominating performance across the season. While her sisters – and maybe the producers – kinda trolled her or didn’t give her the flowers she often deserved, there is no denying she is a killer queen. Just sadly sometimes she was a little too polished, which appears to be triggering for Ru. I assured her that she did an amazing job throughout the season and reminded her that while queens like her often get trolled in regular seasons, they are usually the ones that dominate All Stars. Which is something I definitely see in her future, like a young DeLa for instance. And with that reference of BenDeLaChrist, she was once again her happy bubbly self and ready to tackle the world with a belly full of Loosey LaDucanut Cake.

Coconut has a very special place in my heart and I’ve spent years hunting for the ultimate coconut cake recipe, with this coming the closest to perfection I personally can muster. Sweet and flavourful, with a gorgeously light icing coated in chewy coconut, it is truly glorious.

Enjoy!

Loosey LaDucanut Cake
Serves: 2 dear friends, 1 being a future All Stars winner.

Ingredients
550g unsalted butter, at room temperature
2 cups raw caster sugar
5 eggs, at room temperature
3 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp coconut essence
3 cups flour
1 tsp baking powder
½ tsp baking soda
½ tsp kosher salt
1 cup milk
300g shredded coconut, toasted
450g cream cheese, at room temperature
1 tsp almond extract
450g icing sugar

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C and grease two round 23cm cake tins.

Using a stand mixer, cream 350g of the butter and the raw caster sugar on medium speed until light and fluffy. About five minutes. Add the eggs one at a time, allowing the batter to come back together before adding the next, followed by 2 teaspoons of the vanilla extract and the coconut essence. It may look curdled at this point, but keep calm and carry on.

Remove from the stand mixer and sift in the flour, baking powder and soda, followed by the salt – which probs won’t sift – before folding into the batter, slowly adding milk as you go until it is all just combined. Return to the mixer and beat on low for a minute or two to ensure it is all together. Remove again, fold through 120g of the shredded coconut until just combined.

Divide the batter between the pans and transfer to the oven to bake for 45 minutes, or until golden and an inserted skewer comes out clean. Transfer to a baking rack to cool for half an hour before turning out and cooling completely.

As the cake gets chills, cream the cream cheese and remaining butter with the remaining vanilla and almond extract for a couple of minutes. Slowly add in the icing sugar and mix until smooth and combined.

When the cakes are cold enough to not ruin your hard work, pop a cake on a serving platter and spoon some icing on top to give about ½ centimetre layer once the second cake is stacked on top. Ice the top and sides of the cake before pressing with the remaining shredded coconut (and any extra, if desired) to coat the cake. Then devour, greedily.


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Marcia Marsia Barcia Slice

Baking, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 15, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race the girls put their hosting skills to the test on Ru’s new infotainment show 50/50, where they conducted celebrity interviews. Well, two celebrities or Frankie Grande, that is. While Salina was feeling well and truly confident, she started to get into her head as she kept cutting Frankie off. Malaysia meanwhile was a total mess, Marcia had no idea what Queen Charo was saying, Sasha was perfection, Mistress was surprisingly flat, Luxx was an icon and Loosey was warm and engaging. Once again Sasha took out victory – as she deserves – while Salina once again landed in the bottom, this time sending sweet Malaysia home.

Backstage Salina was thrilled to have survived her third lip sync, while Mistress was devastated to have lost her competition bestie. Which kinda feels surprising, due to the fact they feuded regularly. Salina opened up about how this is the hardest bottom for her, given it was something she should be good at rather than just bombing design challenges. After the dolls congratulated Sasha on another win, the sisters speculated who else could have won with Loosey obviously believing she should have taken it. While Luxx too felt it was close for her, though vowed to win next week as she is the frontrunner. And when Loosey speculated she was the frontrunner, Luxx reminded her she is actually a beast.

The next day the dolls were still mocking Marcia for not wearing much make-up before everyone spoke about how much they loved their Beyonce looks. While Luxx read Loosey for filth for not giving pregnant. And while Loosey felt she gave a perfect match – she wasn’t – it was clear Luxx was under her skin and she didn’t like it. While Mistress obviously was living for it all. Ru put an end to the feud – for now – to put the girls through their paces in a little voguing mini challenge. After getting into quick drag Luxx had fun, Loosey gave old white lady, Salina was sexy and stoopid in equal measure, Marcia Cubed gave ballet and breakdancing, Sasha was obviously perfection from start to finish, Mistress gave all the comedy before Anetra, obviously, walked that fucking duck.

The Pit Crew arrived to rightly hand the win to Anetra before Ru announced that for this week’s mini challenge the dolls would be doing stand up at the Bubly Comedy Festival. Bruno then wheeled out a cooler to select pairs with Luxx and Loosey – lol – forming the first pair, Sasha and Anerta were the second while Marcia and Mistress formed the third, leaving Salina to either perform solo or steal a partner from someone. And well, she chose chaos, snatching Mistress for herself and leaving Marcia to perform by her lonesome.Oh and since Anetra won won the mini challenge, she would be deciding the run order too. Everyone got together to kiki and suck up to her before Anetra announced Marcia would open the show, followed by Luxx and Loosey, then herself and Sasha while Mistress and Salina would be closing. And while Mistress wasn’t thrilled to be last, she vowed to make the best of it.

The dolls split up to work through their sets with Luxx glad to be paired with Loosey, given they will both gladly tell the other if they suck. While Mistress was just living for the drama. Marcia was busy kiking with herself before assuring Salina there is no ill will about her snatching Mistress from her. While Marcia was just terrified about bombing, particularly since this is the challenge she is most nervous about. Anetra and Sasha meanwhile were working through their set before Anetra developed a splitting headache and couldn’t focus. Marcia Cubed ventured to set to workshop with Michelle and Ali Wong, with her jokes a little cute but not very funny. Though Ali fed her a few winners, so she should be ok. Luxx and Loosey were fairly confident, mocking each other with glee before Mistress and Salina were charming and high energy. Well, Mistress at least, though I am manifesting this as a fake-out edit for Salina because she deserves a star moment. The paracetamol kicked in and Anetra tried to push through but I am worried for the icons, so also hope this is a fake-out too.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to beat their mugs, with Anetra feeling more confident after starting over based on Michelle and Ali’s feedback. Sasha meanwhile was just hoping she was well enough to sell it. Loosey and Luxx were obviously confident because, duh, while Marcia was concerned about how she will go given she is performing all alone and can’t blame anyone if she bombs. Luxx then encouraged her not to get in her head, with the old lady gang all agreeing that the statement was designed to do exactly just that, as they giggled away. Salina and Mistress opened up to each other about being thicc latinas before pivoting to the serious, talking about their families with Mistress admitting she has cut off her’s, though tries to leave the door open for them. Well, until her mum was an uber bitch when Mistress broke her foot, only caring about the fact she was in drag at the hospital, rather than the injury. 

Ru, Michelle, TS and Ali took their places on the judges panel and the audience were wheeled in as Marcia Cubed opened the show and while she tried her best, it was kinda boring. Though it was a rough gig for her to go solo. Loosey and Luxx on the other hand were delightful, stupid and funny from start to finish. And well, let’s just say, maybe you should always be paired with your nemesis. Sasha gave stoned Ivana Trump realness as she and Anetra started strong, but it derailed quickly based on the lack of laughs, despite the fact I was at least having fun with them. For the most part. Oh and then Salina knocked it out of the park, finally getting a star moment as she and Mistress kikied like sisters.

On the Rip Her to Shreds runway Marcia was a victorious beauty queen that was beat up by her competitors, Loosey was a glorious old vampire and Luxx was beautiful as she gave Ru Wee Wee Pole realness. Sasha meanwhile was Britney’s denim outfit that lost a fight with an insinkerator – in all the right ways – while Anetra gave neon lotus realness, Salina gave glam refugee – in a really pretty, thoughtful way – while Mistress closed the show as a broken Material Girl.

The judges praised Marcia for trying her best opening the show solo, though read for being swallowed. And doing a look that is similar to Loosey’s design look in the ball (even though it would seem she copied her, but whatever). Speaking of Loosey, she received universal praise for every moment, as did Luxx, particularly since she applied all of Michelle and Ali’s feedback. Sasha was praised for once again looking stunning on the runway, though was read for not maintaining the momentum throughout the set. Anetra meanwhile was read for being lost and fading into the background in the challenge, with them wishing she would apply the confidence she has on the runway to the challenges. Salina meanwhile got props for speeding up her story and hitting all the beats, and they loved the message behind her look. While Mistress was praised for giving a stunning runway and praised for her chemistry with Salina in the challenge.

Backstage the dolls cracked their drinks with Loosey and Luxx confident they’d be in the top, this time rightly. Mistress reminded them how much they were fighting just the day before with them downplaying things, pointing out that is just how they joke. Salina and Mistress were just as confident, glad they could nail it despite taking a risk by telling solo stories. Anetra meanwhile was disappointed her confidence isn’t showing, though wasn’t willing to say she’d be lip syncing. Before Luxx stepped in for her to point out Marcia and Anetra would totally be lip syncing. As Marcia started to break down about how scared she was of the challenge, Luxx assured her she had the toughest path in the challenge. Marcia admitted she is also terrified about lip syncing against Sasha or Anetra, and she is heartbroken to think her journey could be over in a matter of minutes.

Chevelle Brookes then dialled in to send her love to her daughter Mistress and ugh, watching her break down in tears was just perfection. As was Chavelle telling her not to let the family down. And hell, crown Chevelle in Season 16, please. I love her. Let’s hope she’s happy with Sugar and Spice as her grandbabies. Oh and she is Sasha’s bestie too? I live. As I do for Ali Wong who was just the absolute best when she dropped by. I mean, she loves a facial, so I love it. Salina’s brother then dialled in and was oh so sweet before we heard from her parents and sister and well, it was just beautiful to see. Oh and her sister can totally bully me and I’d thank her, TBH, because she is cool.

Ultimately Mistress and Salina were sent to safety before Loosey and Luxx got the flowers they were so desperately craving, rightly taking out each of their second victories. At the other end of the pack however, Sasha narrowly the bottom as Marcia and Anetra took their places to lip sync for their lives. And while I was expecting Anetra to totally massacre to Doja Cat’s Boss Bitch, Marcia put up a hell of a fight as she hit every lyric, gave exorcist realness and oh girl, it was good. As Marcia was doing her backbend walking down the stage, Anetra flipped over her and gave all the stunts and honestly, I had my mouth agape for most of the performance as they were that good. So good in fact I was shocked when Ru didn’t call a double shantay and elected to send Marcia Marcia Marcia home. As a robbed queen, after that performance.

As Marcia cubed made her way back to the Werk Room, I pulled her in for a triumphant hug and told her that more so than anything else she did in the competition, that lip sync is what people will remember. And she will forever be a robbed iconic. Which not only guarantees her an illustrious career and a solid All Stars run, but a fresh batch of Marcia Marsia Barcia Slice to celebrate.

Mars Bar Slice is one of the most iconic Australian bake sale treats, which feels fitting it goes to someone eliminated on such an iconic lip sync. Crunchy, sweet and a little salty, it is also the perfect way to cheer you back up.

Enjoy!

Marcia Marsia Barcia Slice 
Serves: 8-12.

Ingredients
250g Cody Assenmars Bars, roughly chopped
100g unsalted butter, roughly chopped
1 tsp kosher salt
3 cups rice bubbles
200g milk chocolate, chopped
2 tsp vegetable oil

Method
Pop the mars bars, butter and salt in a saucepan over low heat and cook, stirring, for a few minutes or until all melted. Pour into a large bowl and fold through the rice bubbles before transferring to a lined slice pan.

Meanwhile, melt the chocolate and oil in a bowl over a double boiler, and when glossy and combined, pour over the top of the slice. Transfer to the fridge and allow to set for an hour or so before slicing with a hot knife and devouring. Gleefully, because you know Marcia would appreciate that.


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Malayswiss Babyroll Foxx

Baking, Cake, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 15, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race the dolls marked Ru’s big 200th with a celebratory ball. First up they were tasked with updating Ru’s famous racer suit, before throwing it back with a look inspired by their favourite ball. Given crystal is the traditional gift, the dolls were tasked with designing their final looks using a range of stones and glassware. While everyone looked good in the first category, it was really only Sasha that reinvented it by turning it into an epic gown. That was but the start of her dominance, as she served a dime bag in honour of the Bag Ball and gave a beautiful coral number, which rightly scored Sasha her second win. At the other end of the pack, Salina’s personality was beloved, but the looks, not so much, while Spice’s tied fabric together and filled Michelle with rage. Thankfully it was her final time triggering Michelle, as she trotted off into the sunset one last time.

Backstage the dolls were heartbroken to have lost Spice, though Salina admitted she was chill in the lip sync given she was clearly winning it. Sasha was thrilled to be the first queen with two wins while once again Loosey grew pressed since nobody was praising her for having three wins. Two of those being mini’s, which mean nothing, just as Art said. Though she mentioned she was completely fine, despite the fact she was pressed during untucked which elicited a tonne of giggles from Mistress. Marcia too opened up about being disappointed to not win the last challenge, with Loosey checking with Mistress whether she would yell at her too which led to Mistress once again destroying her in a fit of giggles. While Loosey shared with us that she just wanted respect for winning some of the most iconic challenges.

The next day Anetra tried to smile away her resting bitch face before Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s challenge the dolls would be doing 1 on 1 interviews for her questionable news and current affairs show 50/50. Marcia and Sasha would kiki with the iconic Charo, Anetra, Loosey and Malaysia would suffer through Frankie Grande while Luxx, Mistress and Salina would interview Love Connie. And yeah, Sasha and Marcia got super lucky as the others are duds (by comparison only, for Love Connie). Oh and after doing their live interviews, the dolls would stomp the Night of 1000 Beyonces runway and ugh, I am living.

The teams split up to divide their interview formats with Salina focused on getting a win, while Loosey was trying to lead Team Frankie to victory by offering them a consistent approach and diverse discussion points. While Sasha and Marcia were just having fun kikiing before placing bets on who else would do well. And well, they were concerned about how team Love Connie would do. After catching them kiki, Mistress dropped by to be shady to Marcia and hot damn, I love her.

Team Love Connie were first to shoot with Salina proving that improv and interviewing are two vastly different things and while she was confident, she was a little out of her depth. Luxx meanwhile was effortlessly cute and charming as they careened around the carpark in a golf cart and while Mistress started off with a little stumble, before she relaxed and started giggling, though not really leading the interview. Sasha and Marcia were delightful from start to finish, though working with Charo makes it an easy job. They were embracing her energy and clearly having so much fun and it just translated into wonderful TV. Despite Marcia not really understanding anything she said. When it came to Team Frankie Grande, Loosey got a little bit of redemption as she knocked it out of the park, Anetra was fun and confident while Malaysia and Frankie completely botched making pizzas as Malaysia faded fast. Oh and despite all preparing to ask diverse questions, they only touched on Frankie getting married.

Elimination Day arrived with Sasha assuring them that she was the OG Sasha, implying that Beyonce may or may not have been inspired by her to invent the character of Sasha Fierce after seeing her perform. And while Mistress thinks it is a lovely fairytale, of course Bey is a Sasha stan.

It was family only on the panel as Ru, Michelle and TS took their places as Luxx opened the Night of 1000 Beyonces runway with a glamorous recreation of Beyonce at the Kennedy Centre Honours. Mistress was hilarious as Bey at the Grammys in the Destiny era, complete with puppet Michelle and Kelly on her shoulders. Salina was golden in a Grammys look, Sasha gave sexy BET awards realness and Marcia served a velvet gown from Bey at a charity event (which looked nice but is hardly an iconic look). Anerta gave her Virgin Mary On the Run tour look, Malaysia was sexy in the global citizen look while Loosey gave the VMA pregnancy reveal look. Without the baby bump.

Marcia and Anetra were sent to safety before Luxx received praise for how effortlessly she bounced off Love Connie’s energy and for looking stunning on the runway. Mistress was read for bombing the challenge, though given the puppets on her shoulders, it should save her from a lip sync. Salina was praised for looking pretty, though read for constantly cutting off Love Connie during the interview. Once again, Sasha received wall to wall praise for everything she gave this week, particularly her warmth in the interview. Malaysia’s look was universally beloved, though her interview was read for being an absolute mess. While the judges loved everything Loosey did. Despite her not asking why the witch doctor would want to kill Frankie, which to be fair, should be obvious, no?

Backstage Marcia and Anetra were happy to be safe, despite Marcia feeling like she needed to prove herself with a win while Anetra just wanted to get that momentum back. They spoke about how stressed Mistress seemed throughout the challenge, while both of them felt like they did well in the challenge, despite their initial fears. The tops and bottoms joined them, with Mistress joking about being in the top which Marcia hilariously thought was serious. She reminded them she isn’t delusional and knew she bombed, so knows she and Malaysia would be lip syncing. Loosey reminded her they said a lot more than her challenge as she told her she appreciates her trying to cheer her up, but doesn’t want to hear it. Malaysia spoke about being disappointed to finally be in the bottom, while Salina was heartbroken to once again be in the bottom. Particularly since she now can’t say she only sucked at design challenges.

Mistress started to break down about disappointing her hometown and bombing in such a major way, while Malaysia agreed she feels the same but if they lip sync, they need to slay. Mistress was sad it would be the two big girls lip syncing, though they vowed to turn the show. Luxx spoke about how shocked she was to kill the challenge before she was surprised by a video message from home and ugh, they are so sweet and I am crying right along with her. She opened up about how great it was to see them and be reminded that she has so many people rooting for her back home. TS then dropped by and gave all of the disappointed girls a hell of a pep talk, reminding them they are here because they belong here and to always believe in themselves. Oh and then she made Sasha cry, thanking her for being such a beacon for the trans community and ugh, I love them all.

Ultimately Luxx was sent to safety before Sasha took out her third win of the season, much to Loosey’s absolute rage to only be safe. While Mistress was thrilled to narrowly scrape by with that distinction, as Salina once again landed in the bottom, this time against Malaysia. To Queen Bey’s Single Ladies, no less. So you know it was a SHOW. Salina gave so much fire as she aggressively hit every lyric and move while Malaysia was all the emotion and damn, if we were getting a double shantay, now would have been the one. Sadly it wasn’t, as Salina once again saved herself and sweet Malaysia exited the competition.

Backstage Malaysia was rather disappointed to be out of the competition, though I pulled her in for a massive hug and reminded her that she consistently slayed. And as such, should be very proud of her performance. She surprised herself in a design challenge and was always solid, with her only stumble really coming at the point of the competition where there is just no room forever. Given that peptalk rivalled TS’s in power, she quickly cheered up and we got to planning her future All Stars dominance over a Malayswiss Babyroll Foxx.

White chocolate and raspberry is one of my favourite sweet combinations, and adding it into the swiss roll setting is near perfection. Spongy cake, tart raspberries and the sweet white chocolate work together perfectly to elevate even the most disappointed soul.

Enjoy!

Malayswiss Babyroll Foxx
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
160g white chocolate, roughly chopped
4 eggs, at room temperature
100g raw caster sugar
1 tsp almond essence
75g flour
1 tbsp baking powder
300ml double cream
1 vanilla pod, split, seeds scraped
200g fresh raspberries

Method
Preheat the oven to 160C and line the base and sides of a 24cm x 35cm swiss roll tin with baking paper, leaving a few centimetres to exceed over the edges.

Pop half the white chocolate in a bowl and gently melt in a double boiler. Remove from the heat and let it cool a little. While that is happening, combine the eggs, sugar and almond essence in the bowl of a stand mixer and add the almond essence and beat on medium for about 5 minutes, or until pale and thick. Carefully fold through the cooled melted chocolate, followed by the flour and baking powder. Transfer the cake to the lined pan and pop in the oven to bake for 15 minutes, or until cooked through and spongy.

Once the cake is done, remove from the oven and flip out onto a piece of baking paper sprinkled with a little extra sugar. Remove the tin and carefully peel away the paper from the base of the sponge. Loosely roll up the sponge and sugared paper before leaving to cool completely on a wire rack.

While the cake is getting chill, slowly melt the remaining chocolate and leave to cool like you did the first batch. Lightly whip the double cream and vanilla seeds to form soft peaks before folding through the melted chocolate. Unroll the sponge and the cream mixture, leaving a 1cm border around the edges for spread Scatter over the raspberries before carefully re-rolling the sponge to form a delicious scroll.

Allow to cool completely – and set – before devouring, knowing you’re a talented icon.


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Pumpkin Spice Bundt

Baking, Cake, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 15, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race instead of delivering a maxi challenge, Ru gave the dolls a reprieve in the form of a lip sync lalaparuza. Which obviously is only a reprieve for the dolls that win their first round. Everyone else, however, had a fight. Despite some of the queens selecting opponents they felt would be the easiest to beat, sweet Anetra focused on battles. Though after watching her lip sync with Sasha in the first round – which should have been a double shantay – who can blame her confidence. Ultimately it came down to three girls where it came down to Anetra to choose one sister to save, sending sweet Spice to safety and fellow lip sync assassin Jax out of the competition.

The next day the dolls were thrilled to have survived the lip sync lalaparuza, with Marcia particularly happy to be safe on the first round. And to not have to see Jax lip sync a sixth time. Anetra meanwhile was thrilled to have faced off against the Simone Biles of drag and come out on top. While Spice wanted to clarify what she said about entering her top era last week, explaining that she actually meant this week while Mistress joked she was thinking about entering her congeniality era.

Before Malaysia could malfunction at that suggestion, Ru dropped by to challenge the dolls to a little mini challenge where they would have to get into quick drag and photobomb some iconic moments from throughout the series to celebrate the 200th episode. Salina slayed Laganja’s entry, Anetra bombed into Willow Pill’s bubble bath, Malaysia joined Vanjie’s exit, Spice hung with Gaga, Luxx grunted through knocking off Ornacia and Vivacious in their opening shoot, Mistress caught Morgan’s ping pong balls, Marcia creeped on Jinkx’s crowning, Sasha creeped on Ru at the Despys and Loosey hung onto Serena in the tank photoshoot mini challenge. Obviously though it was Anetra that took out the win, given it was iconic and hilarious.

Given the episodes are still only an hour we couldn’t dwell on things, so Ru announced that for this week’s maxi challenge they’d be throwing a 15th anniversary ball. And since that is traditionally marked by crystal, welcome to the Crystal ball! First category the dolls would have to update Ru’s iconic opening racing suit for Start Your Engines. Next up, the dolls would pull inspiration from their favourite balls of yore in the My Favourite Ball runway and close out the show in the Crystalised Eleganza look which they make from scratch. Emphasis on scratch, given it will be fully crystalised. Oh and Loosey is confident, given she makes all her own costumes, so she wants her sisters to know she is the one to beat despite Sasha being right there.

And frequently thinking she should be ranked higher than the judges place her.

After Ru departed, the dolls went nuts grabbing supplies, literally breaking glassware in the process. Mother Sasha was confident in her ability to know fashion and herself, rather than being worried about her lack of sewing skills, while Anetra planned to crystalise Kennedy’s dead chicken. Ru returned with Carson to kiki with the girls, with Spice getting read for giving too much of the same thing and asked to mix it up a little. Mistress meanwhile was sassy as she showed off her big gown moment and while other dolls were going that route too, hers would stand out for being nice. Salina was giving too much and was reminded to edit and sell it on the runway, rather than getting lost in her head. She then opened up about how difficult she has found the emotions of the competition.

Ru and Carson disappeared leading to the girls reading Loosey for being heartbroken over losing the acting challenge. And while Mistress was trying to have a bit of fun, Loosey worried she was trying to get in her head.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls talking about their siblings, with Salina opening about her queer brother before Anetra spoke about not having talked to her mum after she kicked her out for allegedly making everyone in her uncomfortable for being herself. And ugh, her mum is a dumb bitch and I hate her for doing that to Anetra and making her lose her siblings that she so dearly loves. The positive though is that she reconnected with her birth father who has become her biggest supporter and even bought her her first sewing machine. Talk turned to iconic moments of the past, with the dolls throwing out Shangela and Mimi’s fight, anything Alyssa has ever done, Bianca’s Judge Judy, opulence and Ongina coming out as HIV positive. While Spice was grateful Rebecca Glasscock wore jeans on entry, so she and Sugar could trot in rocking mini skirts.

Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined by Emmy winner Julia Garner on the panel to judge their 200th episode ball. Well, after Ru debuted her new song Cake and Candy. And while she gave us nothing – obviously – the sexy dancing bakers flooded my basement as they gave everything. Kicking off the Start Your Engines category, Mistress gave a classic racer suit full of all the big girls catchphrases. Spice meanwhile turned it into a mini skirt and avoided strutting, while Luxx made things edgy, Marcia slayed in a pastel mod vibe, Salina was street and sexy, Malaysia was glam and gorgeous in pink while Loosey slayed as Barbie and Princess Peach’s lovechild while Sasha turned it into a glamorous gown, while Anetra was fluro and represented her heritage in all the right easy.

Mistress kicked off the My Favourite Ball runway celebrating the ball ball like a sexy club kid beachball, Marcia gave canvas milkmaid in honour of the bag ball, Malaysia was beautiful in a hair gown for the hair ball while Spice gave little furballs for the ball ball. Salina gave palm tree cash for the money ball, Loosey looked like a hippy made out of doggy bags for the bag ball, Luxx was architectural in a hair ball number while Sasha celebrated weed in the sexiest way for the bag ball while Anetra was sickening and sweet for the Sugar Ball.

Closing out the show Mistress’ gown truly was perfection, not like something she made in under 24 hours. Spice looked like she just extended her usual look, Marcia gave a slutty Marie Antoinette, Malaysia too gave a perfect gown, Salina looked beautiful in her gown – despite it not fitting great – while Loosey mocked herself in a gorgeous runner-up evening wear gown. Luxx gave ice fairy and oh god, how did she make that in 24 hours?! Sasha too was stunning, giving a golden coral goddess while Anetra slayed in a gown complete with beaded exposed spine.

Marcia Cubed, Malaysia and Luxx were sent to safety before the judges praised Salina’s first two looks and how she sold them, though read her final gown for just not having the fit down. Spice was praised for her first look, read for giving furball before Michelle read her for filth for the final outfit, though loved how hard she tried not to trot. Mistress received wall to wall praise for all three of her looks, before Loosey was read for her middle look. Sasha then received all of the praise for thinking outside the box on all of her looks, and for looking stunning while doing it. She opened up about House Colby and how it saved her life and ugh, I love her so damn much. While the judges lived for two out of three of Anetra’s look, particularly her final look which was stunning. Though Michelle cautioned her to try not give so much resting bitch face on the runway.

Backstage the dolls – well Marcia and Luxx, anyway – weren’t loving the fact they were only safe which honestly is kind of fair, given the looks they both pulled together in a day. Malaysia was happy with her collection, though kinda was in her feelings about just wanting to have that star moment, given she is still without a win. Marcia felt she deserved the win while Luxx was enraged that her creative look didn’t get the props it was due, as Malaysia tried to suggest it could have just been that she just didn’t give the judges eleganza. Which was sweet, but obviously meant nothing to Luxx. Just like Art.

The tops and bottoms joined them with the girls not shocked to hear Sasha was beloved for giving vastly different looks. Salina shared how disappointed she was to be in the bottom, despite the judges not really hating anything, just the details. Spice just laughed about how the judges found her funny for not trotting and charming the shit out of them. Oh, but she knew she was in the bottom. Loosey shared she was hit and miss with the judges and then when Malaysia pointed out she had no idea what her middle look was about, Loosey cracked it and the duo started fighting. With Malaysia hilariously just finishing things by telling her the look sucked. Basically. Anetra’s final look was beloved though Michelle hated the colour of her first look, with Spice asking them to consider how green feels about Michelle, since she always comes for it.

Talk turned to Spice potentially going home, with everyone talking about how much she has grown and they love her. And I LOVE it. Oh and then Julia Garner dropped by and spat Anna Delvey lines, so I LIVE for that.

Ultimately Sasha took out her second victory of the season, as Anetra and Mistress joined her in the top before Loosey narrowly avoided the bottom, leaving Salina and Spice to battle it out. And as soon as Lil Nas X’s That’s What I Want kicked off, it was clear Salina was surviving, but honestly, I could watch Spice read the phonebook because she is just so silly and joyous and ugh, I love what I love. Though yeah, Salina served a moment, hitting every lyric, finding the perfect balance between comedy and emotion and well, it was only fair she lived to see another day as Spice sadly sashayed away. Via extensive trotting, as Ru and Michelle finally embraced it and cackled along with her.

As she entered the Werk Room, I pulled Spice in for a massive hug and thanked her for being such a glorious ball of joy throughout the season. While the judges never seemed to get her (or Sugar’s) vibe, the fact that her sisters quickly went from hate to love proves that the duo are legit. And absolute delights, so I’m glad that translated to the audience. Given she and Sugar are already uber social media famous – like me, don’t ya know! – it isn’t like she needed much of a pep talk, so instead I toasted her run with a piping hot Pumpkin Spice Bundt.

This spicy number is the perfect addition to any occasion, despite the fact I used a haunted house bundt tin. The earthy pumpkin pairs perfectly with the combination of spices, leaving a moist, cake that melts in your mouth and fills you with glee.

Enjoy!

Pumpkin Spice Bundt
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
2 cups muscovado sugar
115g unsalted butter, softened
½ cup extra-virgin olive oil
2 eggs, at room temperature
1 ½ cups pumpkin purée
½ cup sour cream
3 cups flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 ¼ tsp kosher salt
1 tbsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp ground cardamom
¼ tsp ground allspice
¼ tsp nutmeg
¼ tsp ground black pepper

Method
Preheat the oven to 170C, and butter and flour a 12 cup bundt pan.

In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the muscovado sugar, butter and olive oil on medium speed until light and fluffy. Add an egg, allowing the batter to come back together before adding the second. Pour in the pumpkin purée and sour cream, and mix until combined.

Whisk the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, cardamom, allspice, nutmeg and pepper in a large bowl. Remove the other bowl from the stand mixer and fold the dry ingredients through until just combined. Pour the batter into the bundt tin, tapping on the bench to remove any bubbles. Pop the tin on a baking sheet if it isn’t stable (the haunted house is far from structurally sound) and transfer to the oven to bake for an hour, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean.

Remove from the oven and allow to cool in the pan for 20 minutes before turning out onto a wire rack to cool completely.

Once chill you can either make a little glaze – maple is a particularly good choice – or simply dust with icing sugar before devouring. Either way, you’ll love it.


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Benjamin Crullaw

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor, Shonee and George were living it up at the top of the new Heroes, accepting meetings with all the plebs who were begging for mercy. Meanwhile at the Villains, Simon won over the OG Heroes with his non-idol leaving Liz and Jordie on the outs. As such, at the immunity challenge, Shonee handed her idol over to Jordie while Shaun gave Simon’s non-idol to Flick to cause chaos in the Heroes tribe. After Liz also found an idol, she and Jordie used them to bluff the Heroes into turning on their own. However they were sadly just as played, as the Heroes made a last minute switch at tribal council to tie things up between Jordie and the presumed target, mateship king Sam. And when Jordie and Liz held onto their idols, Jordie was blindsided from the game. Breaking my heart in the process.

While the Villains tribal was busy being chaotic, at the Heroes camp Stevie was looking to the stars alongside Flick and Matt, who were quietly working him to float the idea of working with the Heroes. And by that, they straight up told him that they were given information at the immunity challenge that Simon still wants to work with him and should he survive tribal council, it is a sign that they should band together to take control over here. Which is great, but can we also remember that he (and Simon) will easily be on the bottom of the Heroes when the threats are gone and as such, it is just a bad idea all round for them. Though it is Simon and Stevie, so it tracks.

The next day, Liz was feeling even worse about her situation back at camp. Despite Liz being the only person outside the alliance, it was Simon who spent the day breaking down in tears about missing Jordie, who he played a critical role in voting out. The white heterosexual males all appeared to be struggling, with Sam taking the last tribal council as a sign that the Heroes aren’t as loyal as he would like and as such, he only felt like he could trust David. Knowing Sam was feeling shitty about what happened, Nina also took it as a wake-up call and knew that she needed to bring Jordie and Liz’s energy with the idols if she wants to follow in her mother’s footsteps and take out the win.

After clearing the air with Sam and vowing to be a tight three with him and David, Nina realised they need one other person to take out the majority. And since she has an idol and some tight allies on the other side that could set them up at the merge, she set her sights on Queen Liz and ugh, I love to see it. After the girls talked shit about Simon, Liz went to catch up with Sam. Right on cue Simon asked to join the conversation with Liz being an icon, telling him to let them talk and they can have one next. Or something. While Sam straight up told her that he wants to work with her and oh my God, do I like Sam now? I guess I do and you’ll just have to accept I am fickle and love to change my mind.

Back at the Heroes, the tribe were celebrating Stevie doubling the number of days played from his first season. Flick meanwhile was more celebratory about her non-idol, as she and Matt decided to chat to Ben about how to take control. Though obviously left the existence of said idol out of the discussion, which is a problem, given he is one of the only people that knows it is not one. But no, no, Flick can’t trust Ben – who has been nothing but loyal – and would rather hold out hope that Stevie may, just may, change. As Flick and Shonee bonded in the hammock, George grew worried about her social game and as such, suggested to Gerry and Stevie that they throw the challenge to get rid of Flick and keep themselves in control of the tribe. And Flick girl, you in danger.

The tribes joined with Jonathan for the immunity challenge where Shonee was heartbroken to learn her idol exited along with her ally. While George was so ropeable that he called it a declaration of war from the OG Heroes and reminded them that he has two hostages that he is willing to get rid of. Liz and Shonee once again whispered like icons, with Liz outing Simon for ditching them and shared that Simon handed his non-idol over to Matt and Flick to use to blindside George. But back to the challenge. The tribes would transport massive blocks through a series of obstacles before using them to form a staircase and ascend a tower. So yeah, this is built for the new Villains tribe whether George was planning to throw it or not.

While the Villains clearly had the advantage, George and Shonee still obviously chose to throw it, doing the absolute bare minimum and well, I love that for them. Hayley meanwhile bitched about them throwing it as the Villains powered ahead, reminding us that this surely was a challenge the Villains were going to win anyway, so can you really get mad at the icons? Once again Liz stepped away from her tribe to chat to George and Shonee, outing Simon for working with Shaun and Hayley specifically, but assuring them that she has an idol and to not worry about her. Despite the fact the rest of their tribe were throwing it, Ben, Flick and Matt desperately tried to close the gap, somehow leading to the Villains only narrowly managing to take out immunity. As Simon desperately tried to gesture to Stevie about destiny before wishing the tribe luck at tribal council.

Back at camp Matt was ropable about the fact George and Shonee threw the challenge and as such, was even more fired up to woo Stevie to their side. He tried to downplay the rage though, pointing out that the Villains appeared to have a wild one the last night, speculating about Simon playing an idol. With George, ever the icon, telling him it didn’t happen because he gave the idol to Flick. With her awkwardly having no way to deny it, so instead pointing out that she will be happy to show George the idol tonight at tribal council.

Flick, Matt and Ben went for a walk to get water, asking Stevie if he would like to come with them and while he did, George wisely asked him to stay with them. As the Villains and Gerry tried to decide who to load their votes on, Gerry pointed out that the Heroes don’t care for Ben and as such, he is the safest bet to vote for given they will not play an idol for him. As the Heroes were by the well, Flick came clean to Ben about the idol, hoping to leverage it to convince him that now is the time to blindside George. While back at the shelter, Gerry was about to have an aneurysm trying to explain the plan to Stevie – and the fact four people can’t split six votes – as Shonee quietly told him to breathe and just keep focused.

As the two factions came back together, Stevie went for a walk with Flick, Matt and Ben to lock in the plan to blindside George due to his threat level. While George, Gerry and Shonee grew more and more frustrated that Stevie was wandering around camp and potentially outing all of their plans. After Stevie left the Heroes, they realised they needed to come up with a back-up, so if Stevie isn’t with them, they would play the idol and put their votes on the most likely to not have one in the other alliance, Gerry. But if Stevie is in, they will take the shot on George. Stevie rejoined the Spice Girls alliance and once again floated the idea of splitting the vote as each of them reminded him that there are not enough people and to do that. Unless Shonee can pull in a crab, that is.

Knowing Stevie was too much of a liability, George opted to appeal to Flick and asked her what she thinks the merge will look like when it is just the Heroes left. Which obviously led to him pointing out it may be better to work together to take control now and set up an easier path to the end. And while they agreed finding a compromise could be for the best, we didn’t learn what that compromise could be. Only if Flick proves willing to work with George, they will have a truce and if not, she will be the next one out.

At tribal council George explained that at the challenge he declared war on all the Heroes and as such, the OGs best have come prepared. Flick was obviously nervous, though admitted that given she has experience with George, she knows to take his grandiose statements in her stride. She spoke about everyone chatting with their allies at the challenge, as Shonee lol’ed about how obvious she is, while Stevie focused about just playing it straight tonight and going with the flow to make it to the merge. Ben admitted that he feels in trouble though that everyone really should be feeling that way, with George agreeing they really should, given Flick has an idol and is definitely planning to play it. Flick confirmed its existence and that if she guesses the right person to play it on, she and her allies should be sitting pretty. Though let’s just say, Matt is not feeling so confident about it. 

Flick admitted she knows she could be the one going home tonight if she makes a mistake and while George shared that he fears going out due to an idol, he would just rather work with Flick and go to the end together. Again. George then straight up offered to go have a chat in the corner and cut a deal, with Shonee and Stevie agreeing it makes sense for her to play it smart. George told Flick she should burn her idol to prove loyalty which she obviously opted against, given it puts her at way too much risk and as such, no deal was reached between the rivals. With that the tribe finally voted and Flick played what she thought was an idol for Matt as Ben looked on in disgust knowing it wasn’t one. After Jonathan confirmed it, he got to tallying the votes with three votes piling up on Gerry, followed by four on Ben, which were enough to tragically send my actual hero out of the game.

Like Jordie just yesterday, Ben found his way to Loser Lodge by following my enraged screams. I mean, first we could have lost Sam yesterday and TBH we could have lost Matt today as the only straight male that wasn’t working with Shonee. Instead, we lost my gracious inspiration, who forgave my years of stalking in desperation of gaining his talent by osmosis and came to Australian Survivor ready to play with charm, kindness and a little bit of drama (RIP, Sharni). Instead, he was cast out from the alphas – let’s just take a pause to read into that however you want – and never really got his footing in the game.

I pulled him in for a massive hug and told him how heartbroken I was that he couldn’t win over Shonee and join the Villains to control the game post-merge. Because if there is one thing we can tell from watching thus far, it is that the Spice Girls are unmatched at this point and the alphas will soon be in trouble. In what I like to think is revenge for the way they treated the man that gave us the name Meat Tray alliance. Oh the other thing I am concerned about – though wisely didn’t tell Ben – is that doughnuts, like pizza, are a cursed food for reality contestants since Jordie’s were followed by a piping hot Benjamin Crullaw. So I think I may have cursed his chances, which just fucking sucks TBH.

These fancier cousins of doughnuts are the perfect way to honour my personal hero. Particularly since he kindly dropped the stalking charges to allow me to provide culinary comfort for the broader cast. Crunchy on the outside, light and fluffy on the inside, with a heavy coating of cinnamon sugar? Like any time I spend with Ben, I am in heaven.

Enjoy!

Benjamin Crullaw
Serves: 2 amazingly talented Ben’s who are destined for best friendship. Forever.

Ingredients
100g butter, cubed
250ml water
170g flour
3 eggs
sunflower oil, for frying
1 cup raw caster sugar
¼ cup ground cinnamon

Method
Combine butter and water in a large saucepan and bring to the boil. Once the butter has melted, add the flour and beat aggressively with a wooden spoon for a couple of minutes – this is like making profiteroles, ok? – or until it starts to come away from the sides.

Remove mixture from the heat and transfer to a stand mixture. Using a paddle attachment, beat the dough on medium, adding the eggs one at a time, waiting until the mixture has completely come together before adding the next egg. Spoon mixture into a piping bag with a 12mm star nozzle and pipe the dough into 8cm rings onto a lined baking sheet, pressing together at the ends to join.

While they rest a little, place about 10cm of oil in a large, deep saucepan and heat to 175C and combine the cinnamon and sugar in a bowl. Once at temperature, carefully add a couple of doughnuts and cook, turning a couple of times, for about 10 minutes, or until golden and browned. Remove and drain on a paper towel for a minute or so before tossing in the cinnamon sugar.

Repeat the process and then devour, like the besties you are.


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Mimi Ricottang Cookies

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Baking, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor George returned from hospital with a brutal facial injury, which instantly endeared him to the tribe that desperately wanted him gone. The tribe christened him and despite the rebirth, Simon and Michael were still out for his now exposed blood. Simon in particular desperate to have the title of Kingslayer on his resume. The Heroes dominated yet another immunity challenge as George bombed the puzzle – justice for Stevie – sending the Villains back to tribal for a second time in a row. Back at camp, the tribe locked in a plan to get rid of George, though Queen Shonee was an icon as she turned the tide and saved our king, sending Michael from the game instead.

The next day the Spice Girls – aka Shiz and George – were busy bonding with Sarah, hoping for answers to whether she actually pushed Miss Greece down the stairs. And while she assured us that she didn’t, I live for the black humour of how she would have wanted to alongside the assurances she was only temporarily in a wheelchair, to get out of anyone thinking she is awful. We then learnt more about the iconic beauty queen, who plays rugby league in her spare time and loves it due to her passion for smashing people. Begging the question, did she actually push Miss Greece?

Stevie meanwhile was doing some tai chi as Jordie and Simon caught up about the fact George is still here, with the boys thankfully moving on and agreeing it was best to use him as a shield. For now. The tribe convened to talk through how they plan to maintain the fire while away at the upcoming challenge, while Stevie adorably tried to keep them all focused and motivated before pulling them into some tai chi. And while he isn’t great strategically, Shonee lives for his kooky ways despite him wanting her gone. And what is good for Shonee is good for me.

Jonathan made a speedy return for the reward challenge where the Heroes were gagged to see George survive, rather than the fact it was Michael that departed. For the challenge, the tribes would face off one on one to grab a sandbag in the water and score a goal, with the first tribe to three getting a giant cookie jar. More importantly, this kind of challenge generally gets us buns as the boys grapple in the water. First up were Shonee and Flick with our Queen putting in one hell of a fight before Flick scored the first point for the Heroes. Stevie once again faced off against Shaun who obviously won before Jordie scored the first point for the Villains against Matt. Sam and Simon were up – the latter in speedos, swoon – with Simon tying things up after a brutal, brutal battle. That left Mimi and Paige to battle for the win which started off a bit derpy before the duo fought hard, dragging each other back and forth before Mimi secured the cookies for the Villains. Like a damn boss.

We finally checked in with the dejected Heroes trip with Shaun sad to have missed out on the cookies, while Rogue gave them a pep talk which obviously sounded more like reprimanding them for not being strategic enough. Everyone started to speculate whether a clue would be in the cookies and how ultimately it would make the Villains more chaotic and as such, could help them in the long run. Shaun, David, Matt and Sam caught up in the water to form an alpha male alliance with Benjamin pointing out to the girls what was happening, while Ben narrated an ad for all the meat on offer and yes producers, thank you, thank you, thank you!

While Rogue was busy questioning who, other than her, was actually a hero.

Back over with the funner Villains, the tribe instantly cracked the cookies and got to work smashing them before Jordie suggested they sit by the shore to continue eating them. George meanwhile went to crack a coconut – which was obviously code for idol hunting – as the tribe were otherwise occupied. Sadly for him, it wasn’t the perfect cover as Jordie questioned where he was as everyone praised his strategy in the challenge. And while he did find the idol, it may no longer be a total secret as there is suspicion. And a giant bulge in his pocket. 

That being said, it appeared that nobody had actually noticed George’s antics, as the tribe seductively ate cookie after cookie before everyone started to speculate whether they should search the jar for a clue or advantage. Despite the risk of literally getting their hand caught in the cookie jar. While Jordie cautioned Fraser against it unless he was feeling nervous, Fraser tried the same with Mimi who was less concerned about the repercussions. After night fell, she quietly got out of bed and started searching through the jar – unsuccessfully – as Liz awoke and just as quietly watched on behind her. The next day Mimi was disappointed to have not found anything while Liz got to work spreading the update to everyone in the tribe.

And just like that, Mimi was now public enemy number one.

The tribe rejoined JLP for the latest immunity challenge where the tribes would have to race a ladder over a series of obstacles before releasing a sack of coconuts and then using said coconuts to smash six tiles. The Villains got out to an early lead on the first obstacle before the Heroes’ brute strength slowly closed the gap. And then they pulled way out in front. To the point where they smashed all of their tiles before the Villains even released theirs.

Back at camp the tribe were, how do you say, very disappointed, with Stevie questioning what the hell they are doing wrong. He caught up with Simon and Jordie to suggest they focus on getting rid of dysfunction by taking out Mimi. Which the boys were obviously on board with, particularly since they know he would be loyal to them if they protect him. The Shiz too were focusing on Mimi or Stevie, with Shonee rightly pointing out that since Stevie is coming for her, it makes sense for her to get rid of him. The boys joined the girls, Sarah and George, quickly pushing them back towards getting rid of Mimi for her shiftiness.

Well, for a little bit.

George obviously hates not being in control, so approached Mimi to fill her in on what has been happening and told her to go hunting for an idol while he worked overtime on turning the tide on Stevie. He and Fraser joined up with Shiz and quickly locked them in on the Stevie plan, before they floated the plan to Sarah. Everyone eventually reconvened at the shelter where Simon stumbled upon the advantage that was hidden in the cookie jar. Wait, no, the producers crossed out the idol symbol so I am just guessing it is a random token with zero power. Or if he is lucky, an idol nullifier. Simon caught up with Jordie, filling him in on the potential idol before floating the idea of idoling George instead. And damn, things just got spicy or funny. And there will be no in between. Begging the question, do the producers have a fetish for making Simon look silly? Because if so, the idol is for real fake.

Simon got to work making sure everyone was voting for Stevie, laying it on thick with George to ensure he thought they were tight and as such make the blindside all the more sweet. Mimi meanwhile caught up with Shonee to see if they were good, with the Queen assuring her that duh, of course they were. Stevie traded out with Shonee, suggesting Mimi goes idol hunting while both of them pretended they didn’t know the other was a target. Simon and Jordie caught up with Shonee, not letting her in on the plan before she reiterated that while she doesn’t trust George, she knows she needs him for now to save herself. And after she left, Jordie rightly pointed out that they can’t afford to make a move without at least checking in with Shiz, because otherwise, they will flip on the boys and they will follow him out the door.

At tribal council Fraser tried to downplay the fact they are slowly growing more and more screwed, as the tribe snacked on cookies. Liz spoke about being sick of tribal council but knew it was the game and as such, was ready to get on with it. Simon started to whisper to Jordie about wanting to make history, before Jordie told Jonathan that he is more focused on quality over quantity and while he wants numbers, he’d like to make sure they are loyal. Simon reiterated the fact they have won a couple of challenges and as such, they at least know they can beat the Heroes, with George agreeing that the last win in particular was arguably the best he has had in both seasons.

Talk turned to the paranoia of the cookie jar with Jordie outing someone for hunting in it for an advantage. Though stopped short of naming Mimi, despite everyone already knowing about it. Liz hilariously then admitted that she knows who it is given she was the one who saw them, before Simon and Jordie started whispering again as Jordie desperately asked him to reconsider. And when he didn’t listen, he instead asked to talk to the girls who swiftly told him they would not be on board. At all. Despite the whispering, Stevie was not concerned and assured Jonathan that if they wanted him to know what they were talking about, they would tell him. He and Mimi then argued over whether he was loyal or had trust, and while they fired up, it made Shonee and Liz keen to flip things back on to her instead of Stevie.

After Shiz got the boys on the new page, Simon decided it was a good idea to now play his non-idol for Mimi while Jordie openly declared that tonight is not the night for big moves and that instead, they needed to focus on building trust with the people they want to work with. Aka Simon, cool your jets, you can get idol redemption another day. Well, if it is legit, that is. The tribe finally voted and Simon wisely opted against any theatrics as Mimi was brutally blindsided from the game, meaning Shonee has now booted and saved Stevie. Like a merciful queen.

As Mimi pulled up at Loser Lodge, I quickly ran out to give her a massive hug, disappointed to see yet another queen exit the game too soon. I assured her that despite the stumble with the cookie jar, she had been playing a solid game and should be proud of how she always stayed true to herself. Plus, she totally dominated the reward challenge. With the formal pep talk out of the way, we gossiped about whether we thought the Villains were doomed for a Stephanie LaGrossa V Bobby Jon demise, or whether they’d be able to win immunity soon. But that goss is not something I’m willing to share just yet. Just the secret to some delicious Mimi Ricottang Cookies.

Yes, yes, it is another festive recipe, but you’ll have to accept that the show filmed last year and festive cheer commences in July in my house. Plus, you don’t necessarily need the sprinkles to make these ones a winner. Soft and melt in your mouth, the light flavour transports you to a place of calm.

Enjoy!

Mimi Ricottang Cookies
Serves: 12.

Ingredients
240g unsalted butter, softened
425g raw caster sugar
1 ¾ cups ricotta cheese
1 lemon, zested and juiced
1 tbsp vanilla extract
2 eggs
480g flour
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp kosher salt
450g icing sugar
¼ – ½ cup milk, depending on desired consistency

Method
In a stand mixer, cream all but a tablespoon of the butter and caster sugar on medium speed until light and fluffy. Add the ricotta, lemon zest and half the vanilla, and return to medium speed to beat until well combined. One by one, beat in the eggs, allowing the mixture to come back together between them. Scrape down the sides of the bowl before folding in flour, baking soda and salt. Return to the mixer one last time and beat until everything is just combined. Cover the dough and pop in the fridge to chill for a couple of hours.

Preheat the oven to 180C and line a few baking sheets.

When the dough is cold and firm, shape into tablespoon sized balls and place on the baking sheets leaving about 5cm between them to allow for spread. Pop the trays in the oven and bake for 15 minutes or until lightly baked, just before golden, before allowing to cool for five minutes on the tray after which they should be stabilised to cool completely on a wire rack.

While the cookies cool, melt the remaining butter. Sieve the icing sugar into a large bowl before slowly whisking in the melted butter, lemon juice, remaining vanilla and enough milk to form a glaze. That will depend on your own preferences.

Pour a little bit of glaze on top of each cookie, followed by the sprinkle of your choice – don’t have to be festive, but why not, I say – before smashing. Gleefully.


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Jackie Glaziered Muffins

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Baking, Cake, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor seven groups of castaways were marooned across Samoa, Fiji, Cloncurry and Charters Towers – well, after a terrible season in the Great Australian Bite and an ok season of celebrities – ready to battle each other and the elements to prove themselves. And in doing so, became heroic competitors or iconic villains. After a supercut of past maroonings and some star moments of our returnees old and new, we cut back to where it all began in Samoa ready to put good and evil to the test. Despite the fact Sandra kinda already proved that villains are always more likely to take out victory.

We first got a glimpse of our Heroes as they wandered through the bush with Shaun reminding us he is a total zaddy and Hayley hoping good will triumph like it did on her first season, before jumping in the Season 1 trucks that were left in the bush like a cast off from Jurassic Park. They were joined by my personal hero Benjamin Law and AFL’er David Zaharakis before we met Rogue Rubin who is an animal activist and all around badass. Mateship King Sam returned to drop his fave word alongside Nina, daughter of aforementioned Villain Queen Sandra and Flick, who tragically lost her mother during filming of Brains V Brawn and ugh, I’m crying just remembering how heartbreaking it all was.

We traded the good for evil where we reconnected with Jordie and the absolute Queen and saviour Shonee who was, is and always will be an absolute icon. I. Con. Hook the Shontent directly into my veins. She is here to fight against heroes and inflation and is ready to be cheeky and have fun and again, I love it. Simon and Jackie parkoured on to the truck alongside real estate agent Fraser who is ready to lean into stereotypes but let’s be honest, I’m only here for Anjali, former real housewife, when it comes to villain newbies. She is the moment and I love it, though let’s be honest, that probs just cursed her to become the first boot. We then got our first taste of George’s return to hog airtime, leaning into his self-appointed kingdom and dropping his key catch phrases and ugh, am I going to like it?

Almost as much as scandalous beauty queen Sarah who iconally wants Miss Greece to know if she had pushed her down the stairs, she wouldn’t have gotten up.

The two trucks converged on a narrow street before pulling up with Jonathan – ahhh, swoon town – along the beach at the site of their epic first challenge. But first, we had some introductions to get to! Jonathan doubled down on the characteristics of heroes and villains before George explained he is not actually a rulebreaker. Oh and he has been working out and got a bad immunity idol tattoo. Hayley immediately got shady, mocking said tatt – sweet baby George, no – and ready to get the job done. Again. We met lifeguard Matt who is like a human puppy before Queen Anjali spoke about how boring heroes are and that they are set up for a fall given they’re already on top. And well, she is ready to get the taste of hero blood and come out on top.

And again, Anjali came here to feed us and I love that mother is mothering so hard.

After collecting their buffs from Jonathan he explained that their first reward challenge would be rather simple. In front of them were a field of supplies and each tribe would simply grab what they need and take it to the top of a tower before going and collecting a torch at the end of the course, with the first tribe to light a fire getting to keep everything they collect and flint, while the losers would start with nothing. Despite saying it was rather simple, as soon as the challenge kicked off young Matt went from human-puppy to scrappy fighter, trying to tackle all the villains and stopping them from collecting anything. While the rest of the Heroes powered ahead, working in unison and being generally heroic, Simon likewise leant into his tribe designation, climbing the platform and stealing everything the heroes placed.

Obviously that annoyed Sam – that is NOT mateship, mate! –  who climbed up on the tower to stop him and save what they were collecting before Summer Bay icon Sharni Vinson stepped up – geddit? I have so many jokes lined up – to help him given Simon was crafty. While that battle was playing out aloft, Jordie and Matt were still wrestling – swoon – over supplies, with Jordie taking the time to get to know him and welcome him to the game. Which honestly, is pretty damn heroic for a villain like him. The Heroes continued to pull away as the Villains were comically messy, my favourite moments being when Liz tossed wood at the wall and Anjali getting rice thrown at her head. As Shaun ventured out to grab the torch and light the Heroes way to victory, Simon gave one last burst of entertainment as he ran interference by grabbing him off the platform. Sadly though it was only a slight delay, as Shaun quickly jumped up and secured the win.

We followed the Villains back to camp where the mood was decidedly dejected, with Anjali in particular annoyed by the fact the Heroes predictably won. As they settled in, Jordie asked everyone to do introductions, with Michael coming out as a journo while Anjali spoke about her extensively impressive career. Jordie was much more impressed, however, with Mimi who is in luxury car promotions, while Shonee was smitten with Liz the Olympian. Talk quickly turned to the fact that Simon is a chippy and as such, the tribe asked him to pull together a shelter while he opened up to us about knowing he can’t hide his skills, so was planning to be helpful and humble. Despite being good at everything. Sadly though he already was growing frustrated by people not helping out around camp as Shonee laughed with Anjali about having no skills in construction.

That being said, it was George already working on building relationships that was drawing Simon and Jordie’s ire rather than our Queens. Despite quickly falling in love with Shonee, George decided his best ally would probably be Jackie given she is a poker player and as such, knows how to play hard and fast. He then told Anjali how much he loved her on Dateline before roping her in to form a tight little threesome. And just like that, George is lining up allies. Or you know, painting a target on Anjali and Jackie’s backs. Either or, depending how the rest of the tribe feel about him.

Over at the far more stocked Heroes camp, the tribe plopped their bounty under the flag with sweet Matt particularly thrilled to be so Survivor rich. Benjamin suggested they go around and share with Paige opening up about living on a cattle station, David mentioned he was fired from the AFL and Queen Sharni tragically didn’t name drop Irene. Which to me, is a bit of a butter fingers of the mind move, darl. Being Heroes, they all rallied around to get camp sorted with Gerry ominously reminding Hayley to be humble in victory (he is totally orchestrating her blindside in the future, right?). She opened up about being the obvious first target and how nervous it makes her, so as such, she got to work charming the hell out of people. She bonded with Gerry and Matt while Shaun quietly got into Rogue’s ear about Hayley being a winner amongst them and as such, a massive target.

Unaware that he was working against her, Hayley calmly planned to find division and exacerbate it to save herself. And well, Rogue was making it a super easy job for her. She told Gerry she has been closer to death than him since a lion biting her butt is worse than a plane crash, checking whether Shaun was cut or uncut – babe, we love all dicks, who cares – and then the kicker, telling Nina she didn’t need to explain U.S.A. to her like an idiot AND that she is more African American than her, since she lives part time in the US. Which begs the question, was there a way that those interactions could have been edited to make it sound that bad because I don’t even know how you could Frankencut normal sentences to say those things. In any event, congrats Hayley for breaking the returning winner curse – love you Shane and Jericho! – Rogue has your back!

But seriously, looping back, cut or uncut, Shaun can sit on my face so just no, Rogue. He is my hero.

Despite the lack of anything, things were pretty swell at Villains camp the next morning as Jordie tried his darndest to get fire going as the tribe rallied around cheering him on. While they weren’t having much success, it was bringing them together. Well, except for Michael who excused himself to go hunting for an idol by himself. Sadly though, he wasn’t as stealth as he thought he was, getting caught by Jordie who also pointed him out to Mimi. After we learnt more about his career as a journalist, Michael bonded with Stevie and assured him he will stop at nothing to win and well, unless they are aligned, that isn’t the best pitch.

Michael then approached Shonee and Fraser to build his alliance before throwing out George as the potential first target for their tribe. Before even losing immunity. After assuring Fraser that Liz is good, she dropped by and agreed George was super annoying and as such, she would be willing to get rid of him. But more importantly, she was just keen because he is annoying, nothing else. Like a damn Queen. While Michael rallied his numbers, Jordie quietly watched how intense he was and decided he needed to go ASAP. After Simon freed himself from Michael’s grasp, he caught up with Jordie and the duo agreed that Michael is just as much of an issue as George. Though the question was whether George could be taken out later if they don’t strike immediately making use of Michael and his numbers before cutting him too. Since Simon learnt George couldn’t be left for later in their first season.

The tribes came together with Jonathan for the first immunity challenge of the season where they would race through a series of obstacles of mud and sticks before searching through coconuts for a hammer which they would use to knock rungs into a ladder. They would then ascend said ladder and throw additional hammers at tiles with the first tribe to crush all five taking out immunity. 

The Heroes got out to an early lead while Jackie and George were pulled from the course on the first obstacle to see the medic, after landing awkwardly in the mud. While the rest of her tribe tried to close the gap, Zaddy Shaun demolished their sticks and made life easy for the rest of his tribe. Somehow the Villains battled on as the tribes drew neck and neck searching through the coconuts before the Heroes took the lead back on assembling their ladder. Wait, no, Jordie was a boss as he assembled the ladder and took the lead for the Villains before Shaun swapped out for Sam and evened things up again. Both tribes were neck and neck throwing the hammers at the tiles, knocking them out one at a time before the Heroes once again pulled away and narrowly secured immunity for their tribe.

After the Heroes exited the Villains learnt that they would be two people down for the afternoon scramble as Jackie and George were taken to the hospital to receive further testing. Which either dooms them or helps them dodge the bullet, depending on whether the tribe wants to turn their attention elsewhere just in case the duo aren’t options.

Fast forwarding a little bit, after a quick X-ray at hospital it became very clear that Jackie at the very least would be unable to continue in the game due to a fracture in her collarbone and as such, I hightailed it over to cheer her up.

Well, after I stupidly pulled her in for a massive hug and made her fracture just that little bit more painful. After apologising with some pain meds, I gently grabbed her by the hand and told her how heartbroken I was to see her return cut short so damn soon. Jackie had such a spark in her first season and in her brief time out in Samoa, it was clear she was back and ready to take it all the way. Though sadly Australian Survivor is going to Australian Survivor with some brutal challenge set pieces, which tragically cost her the game. Though I did assure her that like Shonee, her third time will be for the win. Which perked her up, alongside a piping hot batch of Jackie Glaziered Muffins.

Yes, yes, these are clearly Halloween muffins, but the season was filmed around the holiday, so it made sense to us. Plus, they taste perfect, so who cares, you know? Sticky and spicy with a gooey, sweet glaze – remember, Jackie’s exit came early so I didn’t get to cool them as much as required – they are a decadent cake to eat away the *technically* first boot pain.

Enjoy!

Jackie Glaziered Muffins
Serves: 6-12.

Ingredients
140g butter, plus extra for greasin’
1 cup golden syrup
1 cup muscovado sugar
1 cup Guinness
1 tbsp ground ginger
2 tsp ground cinnamon
¼ tsp ground cloves
2 cups flour, plus extra for greasin’
2 tsp baking soda
1 ¼ cups sour cream
2 eggs
1 ½ cups icing sugar
¼ cup fresh lemon juice

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C and grease some skull muffin tins with a little bit of butter and flour. Or, you know, a Texan muffin tin if you don’t want to be festive.

Combine the butter, syrup, sugar, Guinness and spices in a pan and melt over a low heat. Once shiny and combined, remove from the heat and whisk in the flour and baking soda, in a gentle fashion, until smooth. Next, whisk in the sour cream, followed by the eggs until smooth.

Divide the batter between the skulls, giving the pan a little tap on the bench to work through any bubbles. Place the pan on a lined baking sheet and transfer to the oven to bake for 30-45 minutes, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean. If using a textured pan like the skulls, you’re better off cooking a little further to leave a drier crumb to make it easier to turn out.

Transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

Combine the icing sugar and lemon juice in a bowl and stir until smooth. Spoon over the muffins once completely cooled, or if going for the melting in the Samoan heat until the skulls get a macabre Halloween vibe, leave them a little bit warm.

Either way, devour with villainous glee.


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