Previously on Australian Survivor 13 newbies were dumped on the islands of Samoa ready to do battle with 11 returnees to prove once and for all whether heroes or villains do it better. Nearly instantly Queen Jackie was violently dumped off a barrel in the first challenge, breaking her collarbone and ultimately medevaced from the game. Despite a warning at tribal council that George – who was also injured in the first challenge – may not return, they opted to continue with the vote and sent his only ally, the iconic Anjali Rao out of the game.
George ultimately did return however, with Shonee quickly pulling him into an alliance with her given she knew that as the only three time player on the beach, she needed another threat around as a buffer. Oh and she also found this season’s island bestie in Liz, and just like that Shiz was born. After losing yet another immunity challenge, Michael was felled for trying to target George. Stevie meanwhile was out for revenge against Shonee for blindsiding him on their first season, however when he was the target at the next tribal council, she redeemed herself in his eyes with a last minute flip to send Mimi out of the game.
Meanwhile over at the Heroes despite being the biggest threat as the sole winner in the cast, Hayley was feeling confident enough to throw the immunity challenge to get rid of Rogue because she was rude and abrasive. After losing the next immunity challenge, the Heroes were gagged to discover they’d be sending a mole over to the Villains tribe however when Sam said they were sending someone expendable, Gerry was less of a mole and more of a powerful tool for the Villains post swap. The Villains returned to their losing streak, running over the swing vote in Sarah before Fraser got caught in the crossfire of George and Simon’s feud in the most epic tribal council of all time.
When the Heroes returned to tribal council my love Benjamin idol-ed Queen Sharni out of the game before the swap arrived and kicked things into overdrive. Despite being outnumbered at the new Heroes, George and Shonee took control and blindsided Paige – ugh, hunting is yuck – before Jordie was felled back at the Villains despite having Shonee’s idol in his pocket. The Heroes then sent Benjamin from the game before Liz was able to mutiny to reunite Shiz before a feud between George and the girls led to Stevie tragically being booted. After the merge, the OG Villains and an assortment of friends took control, sending David from the game before Flick became our first Queen of the Jury. She was followed by her bestie Sam before queen, icon, legend Shonee was felled by George before she could get him, due to her being closer to Liz. Shaun and Hayley were the next Heroes to go, before George finally got to take out Simon and then opting to stick with the boys and take out Nina.
Jonathan threw in one final twist however with the tribe required to boot a juror with Matt and Gerry getting their way and sending Shonee out of the game due to her being a guaranteed vote for Liz. Which really should have been a warning to George that his goose was finally cooked, as they banded together with Liz to send him out of the game as our fourth place robbed goddess of the season.
At the final tribal council, Liz absolutely dominated her opponents and took ownership of the move Matt had pinned his entire argument on – getting rid of George – neutralising him in the eyes of the jury, and allowing our newest queen to take out the title unanimously, leaving Matt to finish as the co-runner-up with Gerry. As I said with Gerry, despite being shut out, Matt played a solid game and arguably did all he could to win as one of the few newbies left by the jury phase. Since George was clearly taking them to the end for an easy win. But alas, they cut him loose at the end (which was also Matt’s move, despite not having revenge attached) making Matt a lovely runner-up, with a hearty Matt Borscharp reward.
When I was little, the entire concept of borscht freaked me out, despite my passion for beetroot. I assume it had something to do with the fact I couldn’t figure out how to make cheese work with it, but that is a conversation for another time. As an adult, I finally tried borscht and fell in love with its rich, earthy perfection and the soup quickly found its place in my permanent rotation.
Enjoy!
Matt Borscharp Serves: 8.
Ingredients ¼ cup olive oil 4 beetroot, peeled and grated 2 celery stalks, sliced 1 onion, diced 4 garlic cloves, minced ¼ cup tomato paste 8 cups chicken stock 2 cups water 3 potatoes, peeled and sliced 2 carrots, peeled and sliced 400g can cannellini beans, rinsed 2 bay leaves 2 tbsp champagne vinegar 3 tbsp dill, finely chopped kosher salt and ground pepper, to taste sour cream, for dolloping
Method Place a large stockpot over medium heat and add a couple of tablespoons of olive oil. Once hot, add the grated beetroot, celery, onion and garlic, and cook for 10 minutes, stirring infrequently, until they are soft and juicy.
Add the tomato paste and cook for a minute or so, before stirring in chicken stock and water, followed by the potatoes and carrots. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for 10-15 minutes or until cooked through. Add the beans bay leaves, vinegar and dill with a good whack of salt and pepper, and simmer for another five minutes or until cooked through.
Serve with a dollop of sour cream and devour, like a boss.
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Previously on Australian Survivor after the boys tragically removed Shonee from the jury in the surprise final non-elimination, the final four finally faced off in their final immunity challenge. Set on the same cliff face that housed the iconic moment Kirstie convinced Lee to step off his perch, they would stand in torture devices as JLP turned a crank to further extend spearheads into their back with the last one standing guaranteeing their spot in the final three. After rolling out their loved ones – featuring the iconic Duchess of Double Bay, Cara “I’ve Cooked It” Atchison – they took their places before the Olympian took out immunity, forcing the boys to turn on each other. Despite Gerry’s plea to be voted out and let George stay, the newbies held firm as Liz finally got revenge and sent George to the jury.
The next day the final three awoke to watch the sunrise before Liz spoke about how difficult it was to vote out George, despite how great she felt to have gotten revenge for the legendary Shonee. Knowing the jury was made up of only returnees, the feeling was that they will reward gameplay, despite Liz being a little nervous about the fact it was also very hero heavy. After collecting their feast from treemail, Matt spoke about how much of an honour it was to make it to the end and make his family proud. Gerry was equally surprised, thrilled to have made it to the end despite being the oldest contestant in history. He then opened up about how much the victory would mean to him, given COVID ruined his business and he could now actually repay his family and rebuild his life. Before they all panicked about getting their pitches right.
At the final tribal council everyone took their places on the relevant benches before Jonathan explained how the evening would proceed as Liz kicked off the opening statements, talking about how she came in as a physical threat and that she has proven herself week after week. Despite that, she had no experience in the game and as such, absorbed all the wisdom of George, Shonee, Simon and Jordie to sharpen her skills. She built many alliances, forged via her stellar social game, but nothing compares to the fact that she was able to bide her time before finally getting revenge and taking out George. At the toughest position, as final juror. She then doubled and tripled down on the George vote being solely her move as Matt looked on awkwardly.
And damn, she is off to a strong start.
Speaking of Matt, he spoke about how he came out here driven to win for his family by building close social bonds. He outlined all the moments he was selfless, talking about how those moves made him a perfect person to flip without being noticed. Also he won three immunity challenges like Liz, but with an extra vote to boot. While Gerry was far less polished and intense, this time keeping it brief, telling everyone he is the oldest to ever play and he was thrilled to buck the trend of becoming a first boot. He fought through an injury and being deemed disposable, which ultimately led to him changing up his game and focusing on revenge against the Heroes. And well, he rode George to the end as his partner. And you best believe, he never missed when casting a vote.
We flipped over to the jury where Sam congratulated everyone on making it to the end before asking how Liz was proactive, with her articulating that she had to hit the ground running to simply survive against returnees. She then powered through the swap phase, building new alliances and then dominating at the merge. Simon then asked Gerry how he had control throughout the game, with him explaining you can’t succeed in this game by yourself and as such, he was steering the ship with George and while everyone looked sceptical, George confirmed it was true. Speaking of George he then congratulated them on making it to the end, asking Liz and Matt to articulate which move they made in the game that wasn’t instigated by him. Matt quickly tried to take ownership of getting him out, which Liz promptly shut down, telling him that a decision after the immunity challenge isn’t equal to her biding her time after the Shonee vote until it was the right time to strike. At final four, when she knew he would be vulnerable.
Matt then tried to say he considered working with Simon after the Hayley vote but ultimately didn’t, which TBH, doesn’t matter as it didn’t happen. Which is exactly what George told him, as he scolded him for not actually being able to name one, reiterating that he’d love to vote for him if he can name something. Liz then jumped in, because lol, telling George that there were many moments that she and Shonee spent time working behind the scenes to sneakily turn the tide against him, using saving Flick at the Stevie vote as an example as she continued to knock the question out of the park.
Hayley then asked Gerry if there was anything he regretted in his game, with him saying he doesn’t have any regrets and that he is proud of the game he played. He spoke about the 30 year age gap between him and the rest of the cast, and how he invested so much time in overcoming having nothing in common with anyone, leading to Sam patronising him about being terrible with human interaction. Which is a bit of a lol, given who it is coming from. Shaun then jumped in to say that he and David only spoke footy because it was their job, ripping Gerry for never taking an interest in him, pointing out that he has many things in common with Gerry, like hiking, however Gerry just never bothered to ask.
Queen Hayley tried to get things back on track, asking them why they deserve to win, with Gerry talking about how the game gave him a new lease on life and whether they vote for him or not, he is a winner. Liz meanwhile spoke about how she has played an interesting, exciting game and was scrappy as she played from the bottom, being the last woman, last newbie and last Villain standing and she is ready to take out the crown that she rightly deserves. Given she expertly straddled the line between Heroes and Villains. While we got nothing from Matt, which is kinda sucky for him, given it makes it abundantly clear he isn’t winning.
With that the jury voted before JLP wheeled out the final three’s loved ones and got to work counting the votes, with Liz taking it out unanimously. Like an absolute boss. I pulled Gerry aside to congratulate him on a game well played, because despite being shut out by the jury, there is no denying that he really played the game as George’s partner. Despite a lot of those instances – the Stevie vote in particular – being a calculated move on George’s part to let him make the choice, Gerry more than Matt had agency throughout the game. Which more than earned him a piping hot celebratory Almond & Cherry Geltch Danish.
It feels kind fitting that both Gerry and George were bequeathed danishes on their first attempts at the crown, though I would argue Gez got the better version. Sticky, sweet and oh so moreish, this cherry and almonds are the perfect pairing to toasting the great man.
Enjoy!
Almond & Cherry Geltch Danish Serves: 8-12.
Ingredients 2 sheets frozen puff pastry, partially thawed 350g cherry jam ¾ cup toasted slivered almonds, plus extra to top 1 egg 1 ½ teaspoon raw caster sugar ½ cup icing sugar 2 tsp milk ¼ tsp almond extract
Method Preheat the oven to 160C.
Place the puff pastry on a lined baking sheet and spread the cherry jam down the centre third of each, leaving a two centimetre border at the top and bottom, before sprinkling the almonds on top of each.
Use a sharp knife to make diagonal cuts, along both long sides of the pastry, cutting until you almost hit the preserves. Starting at the top, fold the strips over the filling, alternating sides until you make it to the end, before pinching to seal.
Combine the egg and sugar with a tablespoon of water and whisk to double. Brush over the top of each and sprinkle with the extra almonds. Transfer to the oven and bake for 25 minutes, or until golden and crisp. Remove and leave to rest for five minutes.
Finally, combine the icing sugar, milk and almond extract in a jug and drizzle over the warm danishes, before devouring.
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Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race the top seven were tasked with voguing the house down for a quick and dirty mini challenge, with Anetra obviously winning. Since you know she walked that fucking duck. Though everyone was kind of iconic in their own ways. As the winner of the challenge, she was given the power to decide the order of their comedy show maxi challenge, which was being done in pairs. Accept for Marcia who was left as the odd one out. Luxx and Loosey’s feuding led to a glorious set which snatched them a joint win, while Salina was super solid alongside Mistress. Sasha and Anetra on the other hand were a mess, while going solo really hurt Marcia who fell flat, given she had no one to bounce off. The dolls were gagged to see Sasha avoid the bottom as Anertra and Marcia faced off. And despite the fact both of them kept us fed, everyone was gagged once again as Marcia went home rather than a double shantay.
Backstage the dolls were well and truly gagged by the lip sync, while Salina was just glad Marcia Marcia Marcia had finally been sent home, given she felt she should have been in the bottom some of her times. Anetra meanwhile hoped everyone knew she was here to get rid of each and every one of them, given she can do that. The dolls sat to kiki, praising Loosey and Luxx on their win before Loosey slayed Salina, asking if she was annoyed to be the only queen without one. We then had the dolls talking about their eras – Mistress really made this her thing, and I love it – while Sasha was a little gagged by her brief stint in the bottom and you best believe that is the only moment of vulnerability she wants to have during her run.
The next day the dolls were ready to fight for the upcoming win, with Mistress warning them she will be ending her congeniality era and instead will now be choosing chaos. Begging the question, how could it get more chaotic from our icon? Before we got answers, Ru dropped by to task the girls with this season’s rusical, Wigloose!, set in a town where drag has been outlawed, could you imagine (side note: you’re scum Nick Wilson who robbed Mike White). After Ru departed, the dolls sat down to listen to the rusical before they got to work dividing the roles. This year, the lead was a fight between Luxx, Loosey and Salina, until the latter took her second role – which Luxx also wouldn’t mind, which is smart – as the others battled it out. Mistress jumped in to explain why she thought Luxx made more sense, which obviously infuriated Loosey even more, deciding everyone was out to get her. She then cussed out Mistress for letting her know she doesn’t think she trusts her.
Before Luxx gagged everyone, giving Loosey the lead, taking her second choice and leaving Salina with the one nobody wanted.
As they moved on to work through their lines, Ru dropped by to kiki with the dolls with Sasha opening up about connecting with the plot of the rusical because her mother disowned her due to their church. She then gagged Ru for picking the role of Carl – the submissive, old husband of the villain – as they laughed it up together. Meanwhile Loosey was breaking down, talking to Salina about feeling bad for snapping and feeling like the way Mistress and Luxx are treating her is bringing up the trauma of being bullied in school. While Salina sweetly tried to let her vent everything so they could move on and focus on the task at hand. Anetra was up next, ready to serve mother energy and embrace the message of drag saving your life. Because it well and truly saved herses. And ugh, double crown her and Sasha immediately. Salina opened up to Ru about always feeling like she is well and truly in the middle, with Ru essentially telling her to calm down, take a xanax and embrace herself because she is a star.
The gals headed to the mainstage to work through the choreography with zaddy Miguel Zarate with Loosey confident in her dancing skills and her ability to rapidly pick up the choreography. And while she was confident, it read as white lady at a wedding. Anetra meanwhile looked to be stuck in her head, which I choose to believe is a fake out while Luxx was confident and charming from start to finish. Salina meanwhile was heartbroken to learn her character was a little bit country, which doesn’t allow her to show off her musical theatre training before Mistress gave nervous boss and while Loosey thought she was out of her depth, Miguel was loving it. In my head, at least.
Elimination Day arrived with everyone splitting up to get Kevin Bacon-ified, with Sasha thrilled to get into old man drag before Mistress got into Loosey’s head saying she would be pulling her villainy from someone she knows called Doosey. Talk turned to the fucked up drag outlawings with everyone questioning why sharing love is a problem, with Loosey wisely pointing out that by drawing attention to drag queen story hour, conservatives are trying to distract from their many foibles. They then joked about the fact that heteros are the ones grooming children, gendering them and making life hard for kids that are questioning themselves already. And ugh, crown ‘em all at this point.
Ru, Michelle and Ross were joined on the panel by zaddy Orville Peck as the dolls took the stage for the debut and closing performance of Wigloose! The Rusical. And well, it was an absolute serve, though after Luke Perry’s overalls in 90210, I was always going to flood my basement at the sight of the back-up dancers in their looks. Loosey was all energy, though it felt like Luxx would have made more sense in the role. Sasha was hilarious as the bland old man (with the secretly iconic drag name, Ethel Sperman), Luxx was cute, Salina was solid, Mistress was a perfect villain while Anetra stole the show with her triumphant closing ballad. And again, crown her.
On the Everybody Say Glove runway, Loosey gave sexy Shape of Water realness, Anetra was a slutty, stunning blue rave goddess, Mistress was dripping in glamour in a golden gown, Luxx was glorious in a TLC inspired rave look, complete with broken arms before Salina stole the show with huge, red latex hand gloves. It was weird and I live for it. While Sasha was stunning as a baseball glove covered stirpper, superhero.
The dolls were all praised for delivering a killer show before Loosey’s energy was praised as she carried the show on her back. Oh and for looking cute on the runway. Anetra was praised for serving sex on the runway and for serving in the show, despite not having the biggest role. Mistress was praised for having fun and showing so much diversity, while Luxx was beloved for being silly and having a blast. But best believe she told the judges she was kind enough to let Loosey have the lead. Salina was praised for stepping out of her comfort zone while Sasha was beloved for taking the role to show she is willing to play with all the colours in the box. And well, it paid off. Big time.
Ru then asked the dolls to get shady, finally asking the question of who should go home with Loosey thrilled to call out Salina for her track record. Which obviously annoyed Salina, given she lifted her up in the Werk Room. Anetra agreed she had the weakest track record, Mistress wanted to get rid of Sasha as the biggest threat – she is over living in mother Colby’s meet and greet – before Luxx straight up critiqued her sisters by heaping them in praise. Except for Loosey, who she feels should go home for being generic. Salina called out Anetra and Loosey for naming her, so named Loosey with Sasha saying she doesn’t mind who goes out of Loosey and Luxx given they have two wins and are clearly competition.
Backstage Mistress spoke about how proud of them all she is, given they slayed the challenge. She and Sasha spoke about identifying threats because they were all so strong in the challenge and didn’t want to tear anyone down. While Loosey spiralled talking about how unique she is, while Mistress joked about wanting to send her out for just not liking her. And while Loosey admitted she knows she doesn’t hate her, it always feels like she thinks everyone hates her. Talk turned to Luxx telling the judges she ‘gave’ her the role, saying she too had actually given her the role. Even though Luxx was the last one to give it over, which is all that matters. Loosey tried to apologise to Salina for naming her, with Salina cussing her out for not effortlessly handling the question like Sasha and Mistress.
Mistress meanwhile explained the question has nothing to do with track record, otherwise you wouldn’t have to even ask it. While Anetra mentioned she just tried to duck the question. So yeah, you better duck that fucking question. Everyone spoke about being exhausted and missing home, leading to Anetra getting a call from her adorable bestie and dad and ugh, I’m crying too. Oh and then Orville dropped by to lavish the dolls with praise and TBH, I needed to go and get my breath back, because girl, he is fire.
Ultimately Mistress, Luxx and Sasha were deemed safe before Anetra took out her second win of the season, leaving Loosey and Salina to lip sync for their lives. And while Salina was ready to demolish to Kate Bush’s Running Up That Hill, both of the girls leant into the emotion of the song and given everyone was super strong this week, it kinda sorta felt like it defaulted back to the track records as Loosey was saved, finally eliminating Salina from the competition. And while it sucks, it was kinda her strongest week, which is always a nice one to go out on, no?
As we met up in the Werk Room, I reiterated how much she killed the challenge and that she should truly be proud of herself. Plus, making it as far as she did without a win is always a compelling All Stars plot point, meaning she is essentially guaranteed a place in the future. And could easily take out the win. I pulled her in for a hug and begged her to never lose sight of her power, because she has that it factor which makes her destined for greatness. Or at the very least, a big bowl of Breakfasalina Spaghettitties.
While on paper this looks like another lazy recipe – crack an egg on some spag bol – this is actually a delightful little number that will have you coming back for more. Comforting pasta and velvety eggs with a crispy parmesan crust? Honestly, I’m a genius.
Enjoy!
Breakfasalina Spaghettitties Serves: 2.
Ingredients 1 tbsp butter 2 eggs pepper, to taste ½ cup parmesan cheese, grated 2-3 cups leftover Dolognese Parton mixed through with the spaghetti
Method Pop the butter in a skillet over medium heat and once gloriously foaming, crack the eggs into the pan. Reduce heat to low and divide the parmesan on top of each. Once the edges are rippling and set, gently flip over and bring the heat back up to medium and cook until the cheese is crisped to perfection. About five minutes, though if you want a softer egg, bring it off earlier.
Heat the leftover spag bol and divide between two serving bowls before topping each with a cheese crusted egg. And then devouring like an icon.
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Previously on Survivor the medical crew were finally given a break as the three tribes settled into island life. Over at Soka Danny was busy being a sneaky king, finding the key to unlock their cage idol and snatching it without anyone noticing. Carolyn meanwhile secured the Tika idol in a wee more dramatic fashion, first touching a snake before taking the entire bag out and running to hide. After realising she would be the obvious culprit, she ran back to the cage to leave the bag and fake behind, but did so in such a rush that it was clear someone had taken it. Thankfully though she was the only one people didn’t suspect. After they lost immunity, Carson quickly became the swing vote between Helen and Sarah, and Carolyn and Yam Yam. And whether he wanted to be on the right side of history, or just knew Sarah was voteless, he stuck with our fun duo and sent poor Helen out of the game.
Back at camp the tribe came together, pulling Sarah in for a hug and assuring her that booting Helen has nothing to do with her and vowed that they can still be a tight four. Carson meanwhile was thrilled to pull off a blindside at his first tribal council, though didn’t want to be seen as a strategic mastermind of the tribe. He pulled Sarah aside and assured her they can still work together but while she trusts him the most in their tribe, she also knows that makes him the most dangerous person given everyone feels that way about him due to his lovable, nerdy persona. Queen Carolyn on the other hand was just living her best life, glad to have Yam Yam by her side but also to have survived her first tribal council without having to play her idol.
The next day Kane was entertaining Ratu with his pitch perfect rendition of the Canadian national anthem, whether the lyrics were on point or not. Despite being on the bottom of the tribe, he was living his best life, thrilled to have secured the sword at the last immunity challenge given he is a Dungeons & Dragons nerd. Brandon meanwhile was damn hungry, so went to try and catch them some fish. We learnt a little bit about his life beyond being an athlete; flying planes, playing piano and drums, diving and baking, and well, I love him and my basement is well and truly flooded.
Finally we dropped by Soka where Matt and Frannie were busy planning a lovely road trip after the game while the rest of the tribe bonded over how dangerous they are as a duo. Danny, Heidi, Josh and Claire took it one step further, locking in an alliance, with Danny in particular thrilled to have the target on them, rather than him, given he is the actual biggest threat given he has the hidden immunity idol. He then decided to get a little chaotic, eating the part of the note about the fake hidden immunity idol, wrapping the fake idol with the real note and then locking it in the cage and rehiding the key for either Matt or Frannie to find. And while I love his creativity, if it costs either of my sweet angels, I will riot. Whether I want Danny to choke me with his thighs or not.
We returned to Tika where the tribe were ribbing Yam Yam for his snoring, laughing, giggly and having a good time. While Sarah was having fun she was also acutely aware of the fact she is on the bottom. And given it is unlikely that Tika will win each of the next three immunity challenges, she is worried that beyond a miracle, there is not much she can do to avoid her boot.
We returned to Soka where everyone continued to obsess over finding the key, with Danny growing more and more desperate for people to actually find it and see his plan play out. Sadly his pep talk finally worked as my angel Matt fell straight into his trap and snatched the idol. Danny then used the information, confronting Matt in front of Josh and while Matt pretended he didn’t find anything, he eventually admitted it to Danny, followed by Josh and then Frannie. And while he and Frannie had been the target, Josh now felt finding another one makes more sense. While Danny was just thrilled to have the target off his bag and onto Matt’s instead. All for a fake idol.
Back at Ratu Jaime ate worms and raised morale with her positivity and encouraging nature as Lauren and Kane joined her for a snack. Jaime then continued her good vibes, speaking about how much she is loving being in nature. She and Matthew had formed a tight bond over their passion for the environment and embracing island life, which eventually led to her snatching an idol while hunting for worms. Sadly for her, via flashback, we discovered that Matthew had actually found the idol days ago before making a fake which he had hidden in the well. And while they are tight, should their bond change, he can now use the fake idol to put a target on her back.
The tribes reconvened with Jeffrey for the latest immunity challenge where they would dive into the ocean and push a large cube across the ocean to release keys before digging under a log, unlocking boxes and using them to solve a puzzle. With first place also getting a large toolkit and fruit, second getting a few tools and fruit and third joining Probst at tribal council. Obviously Claire sat out for Soka, joined by Heidi and Lauren before everyone else got to work rolling their cube through the shallows. Ratu started to pull ahead as Tika tragically fell behind. That is until the puzzle happened as everyone tied up before Ratu solved it out of nowhere, before the other tribes went over to cheat, making it a race between Soka and Tika before Yam Yam and Carson took out the win for our faves.
Back at camp Danny and Josh ventured to the well to discuss their plans, pointing out that Claire has no interest in participating in immunity challenges and as such, they can’t really rely on her to do anything. Danny pulled Claire aside to let her know the target was Matt, before he found Josh, Frannie and Matt to let them know the plan was a unanimous vote against Claire. Frannie meanwhile wanted to work with both Claire and Matt, suggesting to Claire that they instead target Josh given he is way too unpredictable. Frannie admitted she wanted to keep strong with the women, so she and Frannie pulled Matt aside to lock in a Josh vote, though they knew they needed Heidi on board to get it over the line. Which sadly came up as Heidi was busy locking in with the boys. Claire pulled Heidi aside to float the idea, with Heidi admitting she is stuck in the middle before she found Danny and let him know. That duo then caught up with Danny, with them arguing about either keeping strength in Josh or someone they can trust in Claire.
At tribal council Frannie spoke about how the game now feels real, with Josh admitting that the vibe completely changed post challenge. Claire meanwhile scoffed at him, pointing out that the game has been afoot for way longer and Josh needs to stop lying. Frannie agreed that people have been talking for days, though it has been a merry go round and you just need to make sure it doesn’t land on you. Heidi agreed anyone could be a target, while Matt spoke about how he has run through every scenario he could in his head. Claire meanwhile admitted she is super concerned that sitting out of every challenge will come back to bite her, given she felt she was doing what the tribe wanted by sitting out and as such, feels it is rude to now turn it against her. Heidi and Frannie lifted her up, agreeing she was strong to trust the tribe by sitting out when she could have fought to compete even if they didn’t want it, while Matt spoke about the importance of building trust.
Claire asked Heidi if she could trust her, with her admitting nothing had changed since the afternoon – dun dun, dun – before she spoke about how hard it is to end someone’s dream tonight. With that the tribe voted and tragically the women didn’t stay strong as Claire played her Shot in the Dark but was sadly not saved, leading to her being booted unanimously.
As she arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled Claire in for a massive hug and thanked her for giving us three iconic episodes. I mean, she is a fourth boot who literally never competed in a challenge, which in itself, is iconic. Add in the fact she used her bench times to create a little chaos and you’ve got a star who is destined to come back in the future robbed goddesses season that me and every other gay has fan cast 100 times over. But while we wait for it to eventuate, I propose you smash a Clairunch Wrapsonpreme and toast her ways.
There are two things I love more than anything in this world – the crunch wrap supreme and creating a breakfast option out of any meal. Enter the brunchwrap supreme! Scrambled eggs, bacon, cheese and shallots folded inside a pocket of tortillas. It is, in a word, heaven.
Enjoy!
Clairunch Wrapsonpreme Serves: 4.
Ingredients 8 rashers streaky bacon, diced 2 tomatoes, diced 4 shallots, cleaned, trimmed and sliced 8 eggs salt and pepper, to taste 2 tbsp butter 6 large tortillas 2 cups cheddar cheese, grated 4 Slash Browns, cooked as per his recipe 1 avocado, sliced vegetable oil
Method Place a skillet over medium heat and cook the bacon, stirring infrequently, for about five minutes, or until browned and crisp. Add the tomato and shallots and cook for a further couple of minutes, or until reduced and sweet.
Pop another large skillet over medium heat and add the butter. Whisk the eggs together with a good whack of salt and pepper and once the butter is nice and foamy, add the eggs to the pan and scramble by using a spatula and sliding the eggs to either side of the pans once the edges start to ripple and cook, leaving you with delicately cooked ribbons. Remove from the pan.
To assemble, place four of the tortillas on a bench and sprinkle ¼ cup of cheese on the middle of each. Top with a hash brown, some scrambled eggs, avocado, the bacon mixture and the remaining cheese. Split the remaining tortillas and use to top the filling before folding in the edges to create a tight disc. Flip over and leave to settle for five minutes.
Once you’re confident they are closed, place a large frying pan over medium heat and once scorching, reduce to low and brush with vegetable oil. Carefully transfer a brunchwrap, seam side down, to the pan and fry for five minutes or so, or until nice and crunchy. Flip and cook for a further five minutes, or until heated through and the cheese is nice and melted. Repeat the process until done. Then devour, overjoyed by your new favourite breakfast!
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Previously on Survivor Probst dropped three new tribes onto the islands of Fiji and over the space of three days, the medical team became the stars of the show as there were injuries aplenty. The first happened during the opening challenge, which tragically resulted in Bruce being evacuated late that night. Zaddy Matthew was the next to go down, climbing a massive rock and promptly falling, slicing his foot open and dislocating his shoulder. While he was ok to continue in the game, it did rule him out of the challenge leaving Ratu without some much needed strength, costing them immunity and sending them to tribal council. And what a tribal council it was, as Matthew and Jamie played their Shot in the Darks – the latter being the first to lead to immunity – Lauren banked her vote for a later date and Brandon played his idol, negating two votes – a new advantage – and sending Maddy out of the game with a single vote.
Back at camp the mood at Ratu was a little bit awkward as everyone processed how messy tribal council was. Matthew meanwhile was thrilled that Brandon was able to save himself, given he desperately wanted him to stay. He then congratulated Jamie on going down in history as the first person to have correctly played their Shot in the Dark before admitting to us that he burnt his solely so he could keep his hands clean and options open for the future. Lauren then admitted that she does have the extra vote in her bag, so no one needs to go hunting to find out if she holds power because she does. Brandon meanwhile asked Kane why he voted for him, with poor Kane explaining it was simply the last name he heard before they left but assured him there are no hard feelings. Though to Brandon, it was very clear there were hard feelings. Despite the fact he was trying to pretend otherwise.
We dropped by Soka the next day with Matt, Claire and Heidi talking about puppies, with him opening up to them that his ex-girlfriend has sole custody of their dog and he is heartbroken to have lost them. And ugh, he is the sweetest and must be protected at all costs. He opened up to us about how it feels like his bad luck in life has translated to the game given he has lost his votes at the first two tribal councils. He then opened up about his crush on Frannie before opening up to her about it, with the little nerds desperately trying to downplay their bond. While constantly being drawn together with their cuteness. While Queen Claire worried it would cost Frannie in the long run, given it was so damn obvious.
Over at Tika the tribe were selling off Bruce’s belongings before Helen spoke about how the locked cage is playing on everyone’s minds and making things super tense. Carolyn wisely suggested they just go hunt for the key together to put an end to the speculation which Yam Yam readily agreed to, given he was desperate for some fun. Or so he said, as he admitted to us that he is definitely just as fixated on it as everyone else. Helen meanwhile was concerned about someone she isn’t working with finding the key, while I assumed Carolyn had found it. When in fact she actually had grabbed a damn snake.
Back at Ratu Kane went hunting for an idol, hoping the flushed one had been rehidden already. Sadly for him, however, everyone else knew what he was up to. While he didn’t find the idol, he did snatch a crab which should earn him some credit, though it really only confirmed everyone’s opinion that he can’t be trusted. We returned to Soka where Danny was also hunting for the key under the guise of finding firewood – which Matt sweetly believed, rather than thinking he was being shady, bless. Danny obviously snatched the key and was thrilled to have a little power. We pivoted to Tika where the snake scared the hell out of everyone from hunting except for Carolyn, who shared a story about her hunting through her son’s poop to find a tooth he swallowed to make sure he got the full tooth fairy experience. And just like that, her persistence once again paid off as she found the idol. Just like his tooth.
As Claire and Matt spoke about the nerves of opening the cage, Danny put his fears aside and snatched it, leaving the fake behind. While Claire and Matt confirmed nothing looked different in the cage when they next walked past.
Carolyn meanwhile was busy pretending that she didn’t find the key while everyone spoke about how shocking it is that nobody had luck, given how hard they had been hunting. As everyone departed to search a new area, Carolyn made a break for it and unlocked the cage to jag her idol and the fake, leaving it completely empty. She then realised how bad an idea that was given she was the only solitary person, so popped the bag back and relocked the cage. Thankfully taking the idol with her. Sadly though, the rest of the tribe returned to the cage and immediately could tell someone had tampered with it, leading to everyone speculating about what would have happened before they agreed to empty out their bags in front of each other. While doing that, Carson decided Halen was being sneaky, Yam Yam and Sarah thought it was each other who found the idol, while nobody suspected Carolyn who was alone for the most time and had the damn thing. So yeah, I stan mother Carolyn.
The tribes came together with Jeff in a field where they would race over an obstacle, collect sandbags and empty them to release a ball, climb a ladder, race over a bridge and then guide the ball up a snake maze. In addition to immunity, the first place tribe would jag an epic fishing kit while second place would get some meagre fishing supplies. While the losers would get a date with Jeffrey, my preferred option. Soka got lucky releasing their ball on the first go, giving themselves a massive advantage as the others fell behind. Tika found their ball and tried to close the gap before Ratu eventually rejoined the game. As always, the puzzle proved to be the great equaliser as Matthew powered through, solving it without dropping the ball once as Sarah and Josh struggled for their tribes. Both of them started to get their eyes in though as it became a race to the finish with Josh just securing immunity, sending Tika to tribal council.
Back at camp the tribe were disappointed to have lost, while Carson was disappointed that Matthew had clearly studied the puzzle to help him take out the win. Since he 3D printed the most used puzzles and had also practised, it just didn’t pay off for him this time. He opened up to us about being a literal rocket scientist, though wanted to play the game by focusing on relationships to take control. First up he approached Sarah and Helen with the girls floating the idea of getting rid of Carolyn, and while the trio were confident, the fact that Sarah didn’t have a vote nor want to tell anyone about that could prove their undoing.
Sarah tried to lock in Yam Yam to work around her lack of vote and while he pretended to be on board, he immediately ran off to loop in Carolyn as the duo locked in a plan on Helen instead. Carson joined up with them and assured them that he actually wants to align with them to take control. Yam Yam explained to us that Carolyn is like Cher and Goofy had a baby, which adds nothing but is important to me. Proving herself to be way more than a kooky character, Carolyn questioned why Carson would want to work with her, given he is good with everyone, which made her worry that a blindside is potentially afoot. He spoke to us about loving being in the middle given each duo brings out a different side of his personality, so he just needs to pick which one he wants to embrace during the game.
At tribal council Yam Yam spoke about how tense things were at camp as everyone grew more and more paranoid about the vote. Helen agreed that you start to second guess everything as everyone goes person to person to talk plans, given you all think you had just known how things would play out. She admitted that tribe strength is kind of important given they are soon to be down to four, while Sarah spoke about strength to her being allies while Carson felt like they were a little screwed to have lost their strength on Day One. Carson laughed about looking like a teen while Carolyn started to get emotional about being grateful to be in the game, feeling nervous that her time may be up. She alluded to the fact that she wants to work with people that want to talk to her, while Yam Yam hoped that the vote would solidify some alliances.
With that the tribe voted, Carolyn held onto her idol despite the nerves and Helen found herself tragically booted from the game. Though TBH, this is my favourite tribe so losing anyone would have been tragic. As Helen arrived at Loser Lodge I pulled her in for a massive hug, assuring her she had built a strong foundation in the game, which was undone by a medevac and her closest ally losing her vote. Oh and our very own Survivor Pizza Curse which cost her her game. But given she scored herself an entire Potato and Truffllen Brie Pizza, she couldn’t be mad for long.
Potato and cheese are arguably the most comforting culinary combinations, but when you pop them on a pizza (and add a little truffle) it gets taken to a whole new level.
Enjoy!
Potato and Truffllen Brie Pizza Serves: 1 pre-merge boot, 2-4 for dinner.
Ingredients 2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor 1 tbsp truffle oil 2 garlic cloves, thinly sliced 200g truffled brie, torn or cut into inch-sized chunks 4 potatoes, thinly sliced 8 fresh sage leaves 100g fior di latte, shredded
Method Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 180°C.
Drizzle the bases with truffle oil before topping with garlic, brie, potatoes, sage and a sprinkle of fior di latte. Pop the pizza into the oven and bake for fifteen minutes, or until bubbly and golden.
Serve and devour immediately, eating to welcome our newest robbed goddess.
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Previously on Survivor 18 castaways were once again marooned in the islands of Fiji for a season of shenanigans and scheming. And while Jesse and Karla kinda dominated everyone, they were eliminated back-to-back resulting in a wild final tribal council where Cassidy was robbed and the jury awarded Gabler victory. Before he promptly gave all the money away to charity, which was lovely, but also kinda ended the season in an odd way. So basically, it happened and we were there.
But that is then and this is now, and I am obviously going to roll right past things and embrace more Probst time. We kicked things off with Carolyn learning a little bit about how to deliver confessionals and while it was all about herself, she seemed a little confused about what she was meant to do, so I love her already. We then cut to three boats speeding to a shore where we learnt young Carson has been studying for a shot to play for years and years. A lady named Claire meanwhile was hoping to translate being a venture capitalist into winning the money, while Jaime will use her yogi skills to build bonds while Yam Yam just can’t wait to shit in the ocean. Oh and Frannie loves tests, while Bruce is exploding with excitement.
But more importantly, Yam Yam is pumped for aqua dumps.
The boats arrived on a beach to meet Jeff where Jaime immediately fell in the ocean, while Matt and Frannie were shocked by how real it felt. And well, everyone was just a tad bit excited. Jeff gave us some flashbacks to past maroonings and victories, reminding them they have to both build a society and be strategic enough to make it to the end and convince people to give them money. Yam Yam was first to speak officially, saying he wants castaways to bring it and give it their all and that he is just pumped to hold their puke bags as they’re family now. Frannie agreed that they’re bonded for life while Matthew was just anxious, rather than fearful. Which is relatable AF.
After introducing Ratu in orange, Soka in green and Tika in purple, Jeff explained that their first reward challenge would see pairs from each tribe race through obstacles to collect puzzle pieces, then two people will solve said puzzle before three people would each release a ring from a pole – swoon – with the first tribe to finish getting supplies and second place getting to pick whether to do the sweat or swoon challenge back at camp, while last place would have to suffer through the other. On the second obstacle, Bruce smacked his head on a piece of wood and started flowing blood as Probst told him to let him know if they needed to pause the challenge. The other tribes continued to power ahead, as Tika pulled up the rear while Bruce was completely covered in blood.
Everyone was working on their puzzles before Bruce fell to the ground as Probst finally called pause on the challenge as medical checked his vital signs. Everyone cheered as he sat up and gave them a sign and ugh, it was beautiful to see. He then called the challenge back on as the tribes powered through the puzzles, with Tika somehow first to finish theirs. The other tribes then cheated on the puzzle as Carolyn struggled to release the rings, leaving Soka to power through the rings and win their supplies. Before Ratu burnt through theirs, handing them the choice of the additional challenges while Carolyn was just exhausted and the tribe was left with the dregs. After handing out maps to their camps, Probst ominously advised Bruce that the medical team would continue to monitor him over the next day.
We followed Soka to their new camp, where the tribe were still super excited about literally everything. Matt meanwhile admitted to us that he was a little bit nervous to hit the beach, since he is fresh out of a break up and wanting to find himself. They went into the ocean to wash off the mud and make introductions with everyone vibing and having a nice time and ugh, I love it. Despite the fact Danny wished there was an asshole that would make it easier to get rid of people when the time comes. Josh, Frannie and Claire went for a walk looking for firewood as they came across a locked birdcage with an idol – or at least, something – in the middle of the jungle. They pulled everyone aside to show them and well, just the sight of it seemed to make everyone a little nervous.
At Ratu the tribe read the challenges in front of them where they would either have to work collecting 100s of coconuts at opposite ends of the beach in under 4 hours, while the savvy challenge would be to solve a puzzle in 15 minutes. Matthew pointed out the other tribe were kind of down and out already with Bruce’s injury, so sweetly suggested the brawn challenge makes the most sense for them. Matthew and Brandon got to work on the coconut challenge as the other four started sorting their camp. We bounced over to Tika where Helen was delighted to learn they jagged the puzzle with Carolyn and Yam Yam quickly dapping out. As such Carson and Helen stood up to the puzzle and straight up solved it within a matter of minutes, as the rest of the tribe wandered around and discovered their cage. And while Yam Yam knew it was an advantage, he desperately wanted it to be candy. While Carolyn wanted to break in without a key.
And I ship both of them already.
Back at Ratu Brandon and Matthew were straight up exhausted by the challenge, though continued to power ahead in the hope of getting their supplies. The rest of their tribe came across the cage, which they quickly agreed to ignore and do as much work as possible for the duo working hard for their supplies. And while they were cramping up and ready to quit, the duo managed to finalise it with a matter of minutes remaining. And well, they were just overjoyed.
Carson and Yam Yam were busy trying to make fire back at Tika, with Yam Yam proving to have done more practice as he ignited a roaring blaze. He opened up to us about how thrilled he is to be from Puerto Rico, given he is used to living in humidity, meaning he is ready to live on an island for a month. Everyone then got to know each other with the biggest takeaway being that Carson gained 30 pounds to come out here and oh god, was he a child?
Over at Soka it was Heidi that quickly got a fire going, surprising and delighting her tribe with her boss behaviour and ugh, I love her and look forward to her dominating. Ideally with Yam Yam and Carolyn. Speaking of love, Matt and Frannie were weaving palm fronds and being all cute and flirty, and ugh, I ship these nerds so hard.
That night as Tika was getting ready for bed they noticed that Bruce was very lethargic and quiet, prompting them to call medical back to camp. He told them that he had developed a massive headache, which had gotten progressively worse over the course of the afternoon, which was unfortunately a sign of concussion. Which sadly pulled him from the game as Jeff arrived at camp to talk him through the process. He was crying, the tribe were crying, I was crying and ugh, I need him to get another shot ASAP. While Yam Yam assured him that they will bring it home for him.
After getting discharged from hospital, I pulled him in for a massive but gentle hug, assuring him that we will see him get a real shot at the game into the future (which has been confirmed by Jeff even). Given I didn’t have much to go on from his 10 minutes pre-injury, I focused my attention on running through strategies for his return, so if he wins, I can take credit. That or my Briuce Sperreault Cheesecake, that is.
A little bit cheesecake, a little bit bread and butter pudding, this spicy little number is an absolute delight. The smooth cream cheese and rich brioche work perfectly to create a decadent dessert which is surprisingly easy.
Enjoy!
Briuce Sperreault Cheesecake Serves: 8.
Ingredients 250g cream cheese, at room temperature 250g sour cream ⅓ cup raw caster sugar 1 tbsp vanilla bean paste 3 eggs ½ cup milk ½ cup hazelnuts, roughly chopped 100g chocolate, roughly chopped 1 ½ tsp ground cinnamon 400g brioche, cut into thick slices 100g butter, at room temperature
Method Preheat the oven to 160C and line a square baking dish with some baking paper.
Using a stand mixer, beat the cream cheese and sour cream with half the sugar until smooth. Add the vanilla, followed by the eggs, one at a time and then the milk, in a slow steady stream, waiting until everything has come together before making the next addition.
Combine the hazelnuts, chocolate, cinnamon and remaining caster sugar in a small bowl. Butter the brioche and gently sprinkle with a little bit of the nut mixture before sandwiching together and repeating the process until you have a series of the sweetest sandwiches around. Then cut the sandwiches into triangles.
Arrange the sandwiches cut-side down in the lined dish before pouring over the cheesecake mixture. Cover with cling and leave to soak for about 15 minutes. Transfer to the oven and bake for 50 minutes or until the cheesecake is set and golden. Remove to cool in the pan for about 15 minutes before dusting with icing sugar and serving, ideally with some vanilla ice cream, before devouring.
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Previously on Australian Survivor on the bottom with dwindling options, Shaun revealed his idol to Simon, anointing him his closest ally as they locked in a plan to blindside George. After Simon won immunity and climbed Shaun like we all want to, George was spooked by their growing closeness. The Vigilantes planned to split the vote on Nina and Shaun given Sam is not exactly the most strategic person. That is until Simon left the group and they agreed to load all their votes on Sam, to navigate around a Simon flip. Sadly for George, Hayley was also planning on making a move against him, telling Nina the real plan and advising her to use any idols they had on Sam given they won’t be doing a split. With Shaun’s idol in hand, Nina improved their chances further by jagging a second. Despite having three out of their four people immune, however, the Heroes and Simon botched the double idol play resulting in Sam’s exit.
The next day Shiz were busy hunting for crabs and doing best friend shit, with Shonee particularly thrilled to have all the power in the game on top of having a bestie. She spoke about how close they are before venturing to the ocean to plot who would be the smartest people to take to the end, agreeing Gerry is easiest to beat in challenges while Simon is a bit of a joke. The one person they know they can’t hang with, however, is George, given everyone will assume they rode his coattails. And they were happy to lose to each other, but not him. Oh and then Shonee wandered off and found yet another idol which honestly is just Queen shit. As is her plan to use it to have a fun little blindside.
Shaun and Nina however were feeling far less zen, bonding over how screwed they kind of are after their spectacular blunder with the idols. They agreed the smartest thing to do was keep quiet about Hayley leaking information, given it means they could still use her in the future. Simon meanwhile was explaining why he moved to Hayley – unaware she also tried to flip – while George went person to person talking about how stupid Simon is. Seeing this, Nina decided it was in her best interests to throw him under the bus, approaching the Vigilantes to work with them to get rid of Simon the instant he doesn’t have immunity. Oh and then she and Shaun decided they probably still need an idol to seal the deal, despite not having the best track records.
With the duo off hunting for idols, the Vigilantes discussed who would be the smartest to take out next and while Hayley and Matt felt Simon was easy – given that is what George wants – Shonee knew it was a bad idea, given Shaun and Nina have more friends on the jury and Simon’s gameplay has been far from winning. The Spice Girls and Hayley caught up with Shonee calmly trying to explain why they need to put Simon on the backburner, particularly since the immunities get less physical as they go along, meaning he will get less and less threatening.
Shonee and Liz then sneakily ate rice by the shelter as everyone else was away, unaware that George was lurking behind and heard them refer to themselves as Shiz rather than the Spice Girls. And well, let’s just say, he was pissed. Later that night, George woke up and paced the shoreline as he simmered in rage, before Gerry woke up and joined him. George unleashed about how hurt he was and floated making a move sooner rather than later. And oh God, please don’t break up yet, I can’t handle it!
The tribe met Jonathan for the latest epic immunity challenge which would play out across three stages. The first would see them race to land three sandbags on a disc with the first six to finish moving on. In the next stage they would have to toss sandbags to knock rungs off a ladder and then use them to build a bridge with the first three to finish going to the final round where they would be tethered to a spinning platform and have to stack 10 discs into a tower with the first to finish winning. Simon was the first to move on to the second round, followed by Gerry, Matt, Liz, Shaun and Hayley. In the second round Shaun pulled out in front as Hayley and Simon nipped at his heels, while George whispered to Nina that he just doesn’t want either of the boys to win. Sadly for him however, they made it to the final round with Hayley. Simon got out to an early lead, while Shaun continued to botch the balancing as Hayley quietly worked away. Until she dropped, giving Simon plenty of breathing room to place the final disc and secure immunity. Again.
Back at camp everyone gave Simon some half hearted congratulations before he, Nina and Shaun went for a walk to the well, leaving the Vigilantes to lock in the split vote between Nina and Shaun. The minority meanwhile focused on hunting for an idol as Simon went back to chat with the Vigilantes, with him suggesting they work together for this vote and that he will just lock in who he will vote for when the time comes. Obviously George hated that idea, given he wants control, so he agreed to work with Simon once again and not come for him until the OG Heroes are gone. But only if he votes for Shaun.
George returned to the shelter to fill Shiz in on the plan and while they were happy with things, they went into the ocean to wash off together and talk about how happy they would be if the other person won. Sadly George watched on, growing more and more jealous of their closeness until he suggested to us that Shonee is so dangerous to his game that maybe now is the time to take the shot. And ugh, I fucking hate it here.
As the tribe gathered to eat dinner, the girls fed each other as George looked on angrily. He pulled Gerry aside to float the idea of getting rid of Shonee and while he was keen on it, he cautioned that now is not the right time and told George they just need to hold firm for a few more rounds. As such, George pulled Hayley aside to get a different answer with her obviously thrilled by the idea, wanting to play a fun, messy game. Which obviously filled George with joy as he suggested to her that while Liz will be angry, he will happily beg for her forgiveness tomorrow. He went back to Gerry to fill him in, who in turn told Matt, while George went to rope in Nina. Horrifically, it all fell into place very quickly as everyone was ready to get rid of Shonee ASAP, given she is such a massive threat. While she spoke to Matt about feeling nervous, given she has been the one to blow up 3-3 votes from the minority in the past.
At tribal council – where I was ready to vom and cry all at once – Simon spoke about how immunity is the only thing that saved him tonight, meaning either Shaun or Nina are going home. Nina played coy about hearing word of people jumping ship as Shaun whispered to her asking what George had wanted to talk to her about back at camp, with her just assuring him they are fine. Liz spoke about the alliance being solid and steamrolling to the end, while Shonee was equally as confident as George spoke about sticking to a deal that was cut post immunity challenge. Matt, Simon and Shonee all mentioned they heard about the deals, while Matt and Shonee agreed George’s deals are always solid. George spoke about how they need to make moves when they have numbers, while Shonee whispered to Liz whether they should be worried. With Liz assuring her they are fine.
Talk turned to timing, with Shonee reiterating that it is too early to make a move and doing it too soon often screws you out of alliances and stops you from making it to the end. Nina joked about them definitely being at the right point of the season to make a move, so to join her, while George spoke about how making moves at the right time is simply when you have the numbers. Nina whispered to Shaun that it won’t be him going home tonight, making him confident enough to speak up and tell the majority that if they don’t know how they are proceeding beyond the six, then they are likely not making it to the end. With that the tribe voted and despite our queen feeling uncomfortable about a 3-3 vote, she held firm onto her idol and was tragically blindsided from the game. As Liz looked on enraged – just like me! – while George thought winking at the jury would make them like him, rather than hate him.
While Shonee was her usual positive, delightful self as she arrived at the Jury Villa, I was an absolute mess. I was screaming, I was shaking, I had had it. Officially. I went full Laura Dern in Enlightened on poor Sam and Flick – coincidentally created by King Mike White – until Shonee arrived and pulled me, her number one cherub in for a hug. After a day or so – just ahead of the next boot, TBH – I stopped crying long enough to congratulate her on such a strong game. Despite this being her lowest placement, she absolutely dominated the game and proved she is far and away the best player of the franchise. She then got me talking about pilates, which is now my personality – I do it with David Wenham, which is a true sentence – giving me enough strength to toast her third game with a delicious Lemonee Buttell Cake. In preparation for her fourth, winning game.
Like Shonee, this cake is near perfection. Sweet, a little zesty and a hint of salt, working together to give you a joyous (viewing) experience. Oh and the lemon butter creates a glorious, gooey centre which is just perfection.
Ingredients 300g raw caster sugar 2 lemons, zested and juiced ¾ tsp sea salt 3 eggs, at room temperature, 2 separated 227g unsalted butter, melted and cooled 330g flour 2 ½ tsp baking powder 250g cream cheese, softened 225g icing sugar, plus extra for dusting
Method Preheat the oven to 170C and line a 22cm round pan with baking paper, leaving an overhang to help remove the cake later.
In a large bowl, combine the caster sugar with half the zest and ½ tsp of salt using your fingers until it is a fragrant, yellow mixture. Add the whole egg, half the lemon juice and cooled butter and whisk to combine before folding through the flour and baking powder until just combined. Transfer to the lined pan, smoothing out the top.
Using a stand mixer, beat the cream cheese and icing sugar together until it forms a smooth, soft batter. Add the egg yolks, remaining salt, lemon zest and juice, and beat until smooth. Pour on top of the cake and transfer to the oven to bake for 45 minutes, or until the edges have browned and the centre is puffed. If it is still a bit under, cover with foil and cook for another 10-15 minutes to set completely.
Transfer the pan to a wire rack to cool for 10 minutes or so before removing to cool completely. Then simply sprinkle it with some icing sugar and devour it in honour of our queen.
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Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race instead of delivering a maxi challenge, Ru gave the dolls a reprieve in the form of a lip sync lalaparuza. Which obviously is only a reprieve for the dolls that win their first round. Everyone else, however, had a fight. Despite some of the queens selecting opponents they felt would be the easiest to beat, sweet Anetra focused on battles. Though after watching her lip sync with Sasha in the first round – which should have been a double shantay – who can blame her confidence. Ultimately it came down to three girls where it came down to Anetra to choose one sister to save, sending sweet Spice to safety and fellow lip sync assassin Jax out of the competition.
The next day the dolls were thrilled to have survived the lip sync lalaparuza, with Marcia particularly happy to be safe on the first round. And to not have to see Jax lip sync a sixth time. Anetra meanwhile was thrilled to have faced off against the Simone Biles of drag and come out on top. While Spice wanted to clarify what she said about entering her top era last week, explaining that she actually meant this week while Mistress joked she was thinking about entering her congeniality era.
Before Malaysia could malfunction at that suggestion, Ru dropped by to challenge the dolls to a little mini challenge where they would have to get into quick drag and photobomb some iconic moments from throughout the series to celebrate the 200th episode. Salina slayed Laganja’s entry, Anetra bombed into Willow Pill’s bubble bath, Malaysia joined Vanjie’s exit, Spice hung with Gaga, Luxx grunted through knocking off Ornacia and Vivacious in their opening shoot, Mistress caught Morgan’s ping pong balls, Marcia creeped on Jinkx’s crowning, Sasha creeped on Ru at the Despys and Loosey hung onto Serena in the tank photoshoot mini challenge. Obviously though it was Anetra that took out the win, given it was iconic and hilarious.
Given the episodes are still only an hour we couldn’t dwell on things, so Ru announced that for this week’s maxi challenge they’d be throwing a 15th anniversary ball. And since that is traditionally marked by crystal, welcome to the Crystal ball! First category the dolls would have to update Ru’s iconic opening racing suit for Start Your Engines. Next up, the dolls would pull inspiration from their favourite balls of yore in the My Favourite Ball runway and close out the show in the Crystalised Eleganza look which they make from scratch. Emphasis on scratch, given it will be fully crystalised. Oh and Loosey is confident, given she makes all her own costumes, so she wants her sisters to know she is the one to beat despite Sasha being right there.
And frequently thinking she should be ranked higher than the judges place her.
After Ru departed, the dolls went nuts grabbing supplies, literally breaking glassware in the process. Mother Sasha was confident in her ability to know fashion and herself, rather than being worried about her lack of sewing skills, while Anetra planned to crystalise Kennedy’s dead chicken. Ru returned with Carson to kiki with the girls, with Spice getting read for giving too much of the same thing and asked to mix it up a little. Mistress meanwhile was sassy as she showed off her big gown moment and while other dolls were going that route too, hers would stand out for being nice. Salina was giving too much and was reminded to edit and sell it on the runway, rather than getting lost in her head. She then opened up about how difficult she has found the emotions of the competition.
Ru and Carson disappeared leading to the girls reading Loosey for being heartbroken over losing the acting challenge. And while Mistress was trying to have a bit of fun, Loosey worried she was trying to get in her head.
Elimination Day arrived with the dolls talking about their siblings, with Salina opening about her queer brother before Anetra spoke about not having talked to her mum after she kicked her out for allegedly making everyone in her uncomfortable for being herself. And ugh, her mum is a dumb bitch and I hate her for doing that to Anetra and making her lose her siblings that she so dearly loves. The positive though is that she reconnected with her birth father who has become her biggest supporter and even bought her her first sewing machine. Talk turned to iconic moments of the past, with the dolls throwing out Shangela and Mimi’s fight, anything Alyssa has ever done, Bianca’s Judge Judy, opulence and Ongina coming out as HIV positive. While Spice was grateful Rebecca Glasscock wore jeans on entry, so she and Sugar could trot in rocking mini skirts.
Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined by Emmy winner Julia Garner on the panel to judge their 200th episode ball. Well, after Ru debuted her new song Cake and Candy. And while she gave us nothing – obviously – the sexy dancing bakers flooded my basement as they gave everything. Kicking off the Start Your Engines category, Mistress gave a classic racer suit full of all the big girls catchphrases. Spice meanwhile turned it into a mini skirt and avoided strutting, while Luxx made things edgy, Marcia slayed in a pastel mod vibe, Salina was street and sexy, Malaysia was glam and gorgeous in pink while Loosey slayed as Barbie and Princess Peach’s lovechild while Sasha turned it into a glamorous gown, while Anetra was fluro and represented her heritage in all the right easy.
Mistress kicked off the My Favourite Ball runway celebrating the ball ball like a sexy club kid beachball, Marcia gave canvas milkmaid in honour of the bag ball, Malaysia was beautiful in a hair gown for the hair ball while Spice gave little furballs for the ball ball. Salina gave palm tree cash for the money ball, Loosey looked like a hippy made out of doggy bags for the bag ball, Luxx was architectural in a hair ball number while Sasha celebrated weed in the sexiest way for the bag ball while Anetra was sickening and sweet for the Sugar Ball.
Closing out the show Mistress’ gown truly was perfection, not like something she made in under 24 hours. Spice looked like she just extended her usual look, Marcia gave a slutty Marie Antoinette, Malaysia too gave a perfect gown, Salina looked beautiful in her gown – despite it not fitting great – while Loosey mocked herself in a gorgeous runner-up evening wear gown. Luxx gave ice fairy and oh god, how did she make that in 24 hours?! Sasha too was stunning, giving a golden coral goddess while Anetra slayed in a gown complete with beaded exposed spine.
Marcia Cubed, Malaysia and Luxx were sent to safety before the judges praised Salina’s first two looks and how she sold them, though read her final gown for just not having the fit down. Spice was praised for her first look, read for giving furball before Michelle read her for filth for the final outfit, though loved how hard she tried not to trot. Mistress received wall to wall praise for all three of her looks, before Loosey was read for her middle look. Sasha then received all of the praise for thinking outside the box on all of her looks, and for looking stunning while doing it. She opened up about House Colby and how it saved her life and ugh, I love her so damn much. While the judges lived for two out of three of Anetra’s look, particularly her final look which was stunning. Though Michelle cautioned her to try not give so much resting bitch face on the runway.
Backstage the dolls – well Marcia and Luxx, anyway – weren’t loving the fact they were only safe which honestly is kind of fair, given the looks they both pulled together in a day. Malaysia was happy with her collection, though kinda was in her feelings about just wanting to have that star moment, given she is still without a win. Marcia felt she deserved the win while Luxx was enraged that her creative look didn’t get the props it was due, as Malaysia tried to suggest it could have just been that she just didn’t give the judges eleganza. Which was sweet, but obviously meant nothing to Luxx. Just like Art.
The tops and bottoms joined them with the girls not shocked to hear Sasha was beloved for giving vastly different looks. Salina shared how disappointed she was to be in the bottom, despite the judges not really hating anything, just the details. Spice just laughed about how the judges found her funny for not trotting and charming the shit out of them. Oh, but she knew she was in the bottom. Loosey shared she was hit and miss with the judges and then when Malaysia pointed out she had no idea what her middle look was about, Loosey cracked it and the duo started fighting. With Malaysia hilariously just finishing things by telling her the look sucked. Basically. Anetra’s final look was beloved though Michelle hated the colour of her first look, with Spice asking them to consider how green feels about Michelle, since she always comes for it.
Talk turned to Spice potentially going home, with everyone talking about how much she has grown and they love her. And I LOVE it. Oh and then Julia Garner dropped by and spat Anna Delvey lines, so I LIVE for that.
Ultimately Sasha took out her second victory of the season, as Anetra and Mistress joined her in the top before Loosey narrowly avoided the bottom, leaving Salina and Spice to battle it out. And as soon as Lil Nas X’s That’s What I Want kicked off, it was clear Salina was surviving, but honestly, I could watch Spice read the phonebook because she is just so silly and joyous and ugh, I love what I love. Though yeah, Salina served a moment, hitting every lyric, finding the perfect balance between comedy and emotion and well, it was only fair she lived to see another day as Spice sadly sashayed away. Via extensive trotting, as Ru and Michelle finally embraced it and cackled along with her.
As she entered the Werk Room, I pulled Spice in for a massive hug and thanked her for being such a glorious ball of joy throughout the season. While the judges never seemed to get her (or Sugar’s) vibe, the fact that her sisters quickly went from hate to love proves that the duo are legit. And absolute delights, so I’m glad that translated to the audience. Given she and Sugar are already uber social media famous – like me, don’t ya know! – it isn’t like she needed much of a pep talk, so instead I toasted her run with a piping hot Pumpkin Spice Bundt.
This spicy number is the perfect addition to any occasion, despite the fact I used a haunted house bundt tin. The earthy pumpkin pairs perfectly with the combination of spices, leaving a moist, cake that melts in your mouth and fills you with glee.
Enjoy!
Pumpkin Spice Bundt Serves: 8.
Ingredients 2 cups muscovado sugar 115g unsalted butter, softened ½ cup extra-virgin olive oil 2 eggs, at room temperature 1 ½ cups pumpkin purée ½ cup sour cream 3 cups flour 2 tsp baking powder 1 tsp baking soda 1 ¼ tsp kosher salt 1 tbsp ground cinnamon 1 tsp ground cardamom ¼ tsp ground allspice ¼ tsp nutmeg ¼ tsp ground black pepper
Method Preheat the oven to 170C, and butter and flour a 12 cup bundt pan.
In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the muscovado sugar, butter and olive oil on medium speed until light and fluffy. Add an egg, allowing the batter to come back together before adding the second. Pour in the pumpkin purée and sour cream, and mix until combined.
Whisk the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, cardamom, allspice, nutmeg and pepper in a large bowl. Remove the other bowl from the stand mixer and fold the dry ingredients through until just combined. Pour the batter into the bundt tin, tapping on the bench to remove any bubbles. Pop the tin on a baking sheet if it isn’t stable (the haunted house is far from structurally sound) and transfer to the oven to bake for an hour, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean.
Remove from the oven and allow to cool in the pan for 20 minutes before turning out onto a wire rack to cool completely.
Once chill you can either make a little glaze – maple is a particularly good choice – or simply dust with icing sugar before devouring. Either way, you’ll love it.
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Previously on Australian Survivor, Shonee and George were living it up at the top of the new Heroes, accepting meetings with all the plebs who were begging for mercy. Meanwhile at the Villains, Simon won over the OG Heroes with his non-idol leaving Liz and Jordie on the outs. As such, at the immunity challenge, Shonee handed her idol over to Jordie while Shaun gave Simon’s non-idol to Flick to cause chaos in the Heroes tribe. After Liz also found an idol, she and Jordie used them to bluff the Heroes into turning on their own. However they were sadly just as played, as the Heroes made a last minute switch at tribal council to tie things up between Jordie and the presumed target, mateship king Sam. And when Jordie and Liz held onto their idols, Jordie was blindsided from the game. Breaking my heart in the process.
While the Villains tribal was busy being chaotic, at the Heroes camp Stevie was looking to the stars alongside Flick and Matt, who were quietly working him to float the idea of working with the Heroes. And by that, they straight up told him that they were given information at the immunity challenge that Simon still wants to work with him and should he survive tribal council, it is a sign that they should band together to take control over here. Which is great, but can we also remember that he (and Simon) will easily be on the bottom of the Heroes when the threats are gone and as such, it is just a bad idea all round for them. Though it is Simon and Stevie, so it tracks.
The next day, Liz was feeling even worse about her situation back at camp. Despite Liz being the only person outside the alliance, it was Simon who spent the day breaking down in tears about missing Jordie, who he played a critical role in voting out. The white heterosexual males all appeared to be struggling, with Sam taking the last tribal council as a sign that the Heroes aren’t as loyal as he would like and as such, he only felt like he could trust David. Knowing Sam was feeling shitty about what happened, Nina also took it as a wake-up call and knew that she needed to bring Jordie and Liz’s energy with the idols if she wants to follow in her mother’s footsteps and take out the win.
After clearing the air with Sam and vowing to be a tight three with him and David, Nina realised they need one other person to take out the majority. And since she has an idol and some tight allies on the other side that could set them up at the merge, she set her sights on Queen Liz and ugh, I love to see it. After the girls talked shit about Simon, Liz went to catch up with Sam. Right on cue Simon asked to join the conversation with Liz being an icon, telling him to let them talk and they can have one next. Or something. While Sam straight up told her that he wants to work with her and oh my God, do I like Sam now? I guess I do and you’ll just have to accept I am fickle and love to change my mind.
Back at the Heroes, the tribe were celebrating Stevie doubling the number of days played from his first season. Flick meanwhile was more celebratory about her non-idol, as she and Matt decided to chat to Ben about how to take control. Though obviously left the existence of said idol out of the discussion, which is a problem, given he is one of the only people that knows it is not one. But no, no, Flick can’t trust Ben – who has been nothing but loyal – and would rather hold out hope that Stevie may, just may, change. As Flick and Shonee bonded in the hammock, George grew worried about her social game and as such, suggested to Gerry and Stevie that they throw the challenge to get rid of Flick and keep themselves in control of the tribe. And Flick girl, you in danger.
The tribes joined with Jonathan for the immunity challenge where Shonee was heartbroken to learn her idol exited along with her ally. While George was so ropeable that he called it a declaration of war from the OG Heroes and reminded them that he has two hostages that he is willing to get rid of. Liz and Shonee once again whispered like icons, with Liz outing Simon for ditching them and shared that Simon handed his non-idol over to Matt and Flick to use to blindside George. But back to the challenge. The tribes would transport massive blocks through a series of obstacles before using them to form a staircase and ascend a tower. So yeah, this is built for the new Villains tribe whether George was planning to throw it or not.
While the Villains clearly had the advantage, George and Shonee still obviously chose to throw it, doing the absolute bare minimum and well, I love that for them. Hayley meanwhile bitched about them throwing it as the Villains powered ahead, reminding us that this surely was a challenge the Villains were going to win anyway, so can you really get mad at the icons? Once again Liz stepped away from her tribe to chat to George and Shonee, outing Simon for working with Shaun and Hayley specifically, but assuring them that she has an idol and to not worry about her. Despite the fact the rest of their tribe were throwing it, Ben, Flick and Matt desperately tried to close the gap, somehow leading to the Villains only narrowly managing to take out immunity. As Simon desperately tried to gesture to Stevie about destiny before wishing the tribe luck at tribal council.
Back at camp Matt was ropable about the fact George and Shonee threw the challenge and as such, was even more fired up to woo Stevie to their side. He tried to downplay the rage though, pointing out that the Villains appeared to have a wild one the last night, speculating about Simon playing an idol. With George, ever the icon, telling him it didn’t happen because he gave the idol to Flick. With her awkwardly having no way to deny it, so instead pointing out that she will be happy to show George the idol tonight at tribal council.
Flick, Matt and Ben went for a walk to get water, asking Stevie if he would like to come with them and while he did, George wisely asked him to stay with them. As the Villains and Gerry tried to decide who to load their votes on, Gerry pointed out that the Heroes don’t care for Ben and as such, he is the safest bet to vote for given they will not play an idol for him. As the Heroes were by the well, Flick came clean to Ben about the idol, hoping to leverage it to convince him that now is the time to blindside George. While back at the shelter, Gerry was about to have an aneurysm trying to explain the plan to Stevie – and the fact four people can’t split six votes – as Shonee quietly told him to breathe and just keep focused.
As the two factions came back together, Stevie went for a walk with Flick, Matt and Ben to lock in the plan to blindside George due to his threat level. While George, Gerry and Shonee grew more and more frustrated that Stevie was wandering around camp and potentially outing all of their plans. After Stevie left the Heroes, they realised they needed to come up with a back-up, so if Stevie isn’t with them, they would play the idol and put their votes on the most likely to not have one in the other alliance, Gerry. But if Stevie is in, they will take the shot on George. Stevie rejoined the Spice Girls alliance and once again floated the idea of splitting the vote as each of them reminded him that there are not enough people and to do that. Unless Shonee can pull in a crab, that is.
Knowing Stevie was too much of a liability, George opted to appeal to Flick and asked her what she thinks the merge will look like when it is just the Heroes left. Which obviously led to him pointing out it may be better to work together to take control now and set up an easier path to the end. And while they agreed finding a compromise could be for the best, we didn’t learn what that compromise could be. Only if Flick proves willing to work with George, they will have a truce and if not, she will be the next one out.
At tribal council George explained that at the challenge he declared war on all the Heroes and as such, the OGs best have come prepared. Flick was obviously nervous, though admitted that given she has experience with George, she knows to take his grandiose statements in her stride. She spoke about everyone chatting with their allies at the challenge, as Shonee lol’ed about how obvious she is, while Stevie focused about just playing it straight tonight and going with the flow to make it to the merge. Ben admitted that he feels in trouble though that everyone really should be feeling that way, with George agreeing they really should, given Flick has an idol and is definitely planning to play it. Flick confirmed its existence and that if she guesses the right person to play it on, she and her allies should be sitting pretty. Though let’s just say, Matt is not feeling so confident about it.
Flick admitted she knows she could be the one going home tonight if she makes a mistake and while George shared that he fears going out due to an idol, he would just rather work with Flick and go to the end together. Again. George then straight up offered to go have a chat in the corner and cut a deal, with Shonee and Stevie agreeing it makes sense for her to play it smart. George told Flick she should burn her idol to prove loyalty which she obviously opted against, given it puts her at way too much risk and as such, no deal was reached between the rivals. With that the tribe finally voted and Flick played what she thought was an idol for Matt as Ben looked on in disgust knowing it wasn’t one. After Jonathan confirmed it, he got to tallying the votes with three votes piling up on Gerry, followed by four on Ben, which were enough to tragically send my actual hero out of the game.
Like Jordie just yesterday, Ben found his way to Loser Lodge by following my enraged screams. I mean, first we could have lost Sam yesterday and TBH we could have lost Matt today as the only straight male that wasn’t working with Shonee. Instead, we lost my gracious inspiration, who forgave my years of stalking in desperation of gaining his talent by osmosis and came to Australian Survivor ready to play with charm, kindness and a little bit of drama (RIP, Sharni). Instead, he was cast out from the alphas – let’s just take a pause to read into that however you want – and never really got his footing in the game.
I pulled him in for a massive hug and told him how heartbroken I was that he couldn’t win over Shonee and join the Villains to control the game post-merge. Because if there is one thing we can tell from watching thus far, it is that the Spice Girls are unmatched at this point and the alphas will soon be in trouble. In what I like to think is revenge for the way they treated the man that gave us the name Meat Tray alliance. Oh the other thing I am concerned about – though wisely didn’t tell Ben – is that doughnuts, like pizza, are a cursed food for reality contestants since Jordie’s were followed by a piping hot Benjamin Crullaw. So I think I may have cursed his chances, which just fucking sucks TBH.
These fancier cousins of doughnuts are the perfect way to honour my personal hero. Particularly since he kindly dropped the stalking charges to allow me to provide culinary comfort for the broader cast. Crunchy on the outside, light and fluffy on the inside, with a heavy coating of cinnamon sugar? Like any time I spend with Ben, I am in heaven.
Enjoy!
Benjamin Crullaw Serves: 2 amazingly talented Ben’s who are destined for best friendship. Forever.
Ingredients 100g butter, cubed 250ml water 170g flour 3 eggs sunflower oil, for frying 1 cup raw caster sugar ¼ cup ground cinnamon
Method Combine butter and water in a large saucepan and bring to the boil. Once the butter has melted, add the flour and beat aggressively with a wooden spoon for a couple of minutes – this is like making profiteroles, ok? – or until it starts to come away from the sides.
Remove mixture from the heat and transfer to a stand mixture. Using a paddle attachment, beat the dough on medium, adding the eggs one at a time, waiting until the mixture has completely come together before adding the next egg. Spoon mixture into a piping bag with a 12mm star nozzle and pipe the dough into 8cm rings onto a lined baking sheet, pressing together at the ends to join.
While they rest a little, place about 10cm of oil in a large, deep saucepan and heat to 175C and combine the cinnamon and sugar in a bowl. Once at temperature, carefully add a couple of doughnuts and cook, turning a couple of times, for about 10 minutes, or until golden and browned. Remove and drain on a paper towel for a minute or so before tossing in the cinnamon sugar.
Repeat the process and then devour, like the besties you are.
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Previously on Australian Survivor the tribes were delighted to get a reprieve from challenges with the arrival of the auction, only to be gagged by a tribe swap. Venturing to the Heroes tribe, Shonee was heartbroken to be split up from Liz, though grateful that she at least still had George. After jagging an epic reward at the auction, George took the girls for a little party where Shonee found a second idol, though assured them she would be ready to hand it off to Liz if and when needed. Simon was nervous about being on the bottom of the new Villains, though sucked up to the alphas to win them over. Plus, he was in possession of what he thought was an idol. After the Heroes lost immunity the OGs planned to blindside George, only for George and Shonee to school them, wooing Gerry to their side and idoling out Paige. As God wanted.
The next day Shonee was blissfully napping away the morning, thrilled to be on top with George and close friends like Stevie and Gerry. And now that Paige is gone, she can eat all the crispy rice she wants and ugh, it is what our Queen deserves. Long may she reign.
We checked in with the Villains, where Simon was talking about how normal it feels to be moist. Which doesn’t add anything, but I love it because it sounds so suss. Liz meanwhile was heartbroken to be away from Shonee, breaking down in tears to us as she spoke about how lonely she feels. Particularly since the Heroes are clearly dominating the new tribe and she, Jordie and Simon are left out. The trio caught up with Simon checking if they had had any luck making friends before he suggested he will play the idol for one of them, should it be needed. Which Liz knows is a lie, given he is clearly too selfish and he refused to play one for Stevie just last week.
Back at the Heroes tribe George was just as radiant as Shonee, thrilled to have taken control and ready to eliminate the original Heroes one by one (by one). He caught up with Stevie to talk through the plan before Benjamin interrupted to see if he could join the chat. Ben admitted that the only reason George copped votes the night before is because they are intimidated by him but that now he would truly like to work with him. George then caught up with Shonee as Flick took her turn to pledge her undying loyalty, one upping Ben by suggesting she could even be a double agent to sweeten the deal. Oh and then closing out the pitches, Matt pulled George aside one on one, offering up all the information about his allies and how he could be of value to help the Villains take control come the merge.
And oh god, if Matt is telling the truth, go with him as I want to see how the Meat Tray takes the betrayal. Particularly Sam, as he will be salty.
The tribes came together with Jonathan for the reward challenge with Liz delighted to see Paige booted, while the OG Heroes were gutted. But more importantly, the challenge where in groups of four each tribe would race around a course in the shallows, carrying bags and chasing each other with the first tribe to catch the other scoring a point. And the first tribe to three getting a big Aussie breakfast. First up were Matt, Shonee, Ben and Flick versus Shaun, Hayley, Liz and Simon with Ben the first to drop out of the challenge, followed by Shonee, Hayley and Liz, with Shaun and Simon pissbolting to hunt Flick and Matt down, scoring the first point for Villains. Sam, Shaun, Jordie and David made quick work of Stevie, Gerry, Ben and George, but damn were they adorable. As were the original Heroes talking through the status quo on each tribe, while Liz and Shonee bitched about hating everyone before Shonee promised to hand her an idol should she need it. Oh and then the Villains won the third round with Simon and Sam quickly catching the Heroes.
Back at camp the Villains were thrilled to find a table laden with fruit, bread, eggs, bacon, hash browns, cheese and most importantly, coffee. And ugh, I am hungry just looking at it. Simon toasted them for being so strong before they downed the coffee and went absolutely wild. Well, except for Liz who quietly watched on thinking about how bland and annoying all the men are. Which was beautifully juxtaposed with Simon screaming and celebrating as he desperately tried to win friends. Given she is invisible on the tribe, she knew she could excuse herself without anyone noticing and got to work foraging through the jungle to find an idol. And hot damn, our girl did it. And as expected, not a soul noticed. And if they did, she could just say the coffee and eggs went right through her, no?
Upon returning to camp, Liz invited Jordie for a trip to hunt for wood where she quickly filled her only ally in on her hidden immunity idol with the duo thrilled to have hope amongst the chaos. Assuming they play the situation smartly, that is. They returned to camp with Liz filling him in on Shonee’s idol and that she is willing to hand it to them at a challenge should they need it. And well, Liz is ready to call in that favour and blindside one of the Heroes. Yes, come through Spice Girls!
Shaun meanwhile was heartbroken about Paige getting voted out, taking Sam for a walk to talk through how they make the most of their numbers advantage. Sam suggested they tell Simon they will take him to the merge if he hands off his idol and while Natalie Bolton and Cirie Fields can pull it off, Sam definitely can not, given he is not it. Plus, it isn’t an idol. Sam pulled Simon aside to tell him that he spoke to the guys and while they are friends, there is a caviar – his words – in that they need Simon to give him his idol before they agree to take him to merge. Simon wisely pledged his undying loyalty and assured him that he wants to go to the very end with them, not just merge. Oh but he would only be willing to hand the idol over to Shaun. As such, Simon and Shaun caught up by the well with Shaun doing a far better job sharing the plan, telling Simon he knows it is risky but he also knows that out of the three Villains, he is the one they want to protect.
Simon then pulled Shaun and Hayley aside, doubling down on the plan and suggesting they hand the idol across to Flick on the Heroes tribe so that she can play it to blindside George. And that he wants to get a message to Stevie so that he can help them move forward. Upon showing them his idol however, Hayley questioned if there was any paperwork and when he said it came with nothing, she wisely asked how he was sure it was an idol when it could be something else, like a nullifier. But sadly – or well, not – that was where the logic ended, as they laughed about how poetic it would be for Simon to send his idol to the other side to blindside his nemesis George, which will be a huge move. And again, lol.
Almost as lol as Simon botching his quote about living long enough to become a Hero and the producers trolling him by keeping it in.
The tribes came back together for the immunity challenge where they would race through a series of obstacles before chopping wood to release coconuts and then shooting coconuts at six targets, with the first tribe to finish jagging immunity. The Villains got out to an early lead, quickly releasing their sack of nuts – this time JLP’s words – while the Heroes desperately tried to close the gap. Nina hit the first target for the Villains before Matt finally started shooting for the Heroes. More importantly, Shonee and Liz just casually walked over to each other and started discussing how to hand off the idol. Nina knocked her second target as Matt took out the lead for Heroes as he smashed three, then four and five before ultimately jagging immunity for the tribe.
After the challenge David and Flick hugged, talking through the non-idol hand off while Simon tried to talk to Stevie about trusting in Flick and to vote with her at their next tribal council. While Shonee calmly handed the idol to Jordie unnoticed before Shaun awkwardly passed the disc off to Flick. And oh god, I need the non-idol to blow up in someone’s face so badly. And now I’m not even sure who I want to be the victim.
Back at camp the tribe rallied around to process their loss, while Liz and Jordie couldn’t wipe the grins off their faces. Hayley meanwhile was confident about tribal given they have the numbers, pointing out to Simon and Shaun they should split the vote on Jordie and Liz and ultimately get rid of Jordie should no idols get played. The Heroes quickly locked in their plan, while Jordie and Liz laughed it up at the well, given they can derail whatever it is they are planning. Wanting to have more impact than a single moment, Jordie suggested they pull Hayley and Nina aside and show them the idols before making them pick which of the boys they want to send home. And then promptly not play the idols at all. Which obviously made Liz nervous, given she wasn’t sure they should trust them and instead just go the safe route of playing their idols.
They pulled Nina and Hayley aside with both of the girls shitting their pants, unable to name who they want to go before Liz narrowed it down to either Sam and Shaun. With Hayley first to lock in Sam, given he is so loyal it is hard to work with him, given if you upset him, he is done with you. Liz suggested this is the night to prove loyalty, before Jordie pointed out it isn’t a threat but if there is whispering at tribal council, he will gladly change the vote.
Backed into a corner, Hayley approached Shaun to ensure that should she and Nina have to work with the Villains, she hasn’t burnt everyone. The plan to take out Sam spread like wildfire, with everyone kind of accepting the fact Sam is screwed. David suggested they instead just vote out Simon, while Shaun reminded him he swore on his children’s life and as such, can not do that to Simon. And to be fair, Simon and Sam will both fill the same role in their alliance. Right on cue, Sam approached the group and both awkwardly and aggressively asked if something was wrong with David, Nina and Shaun just dancing around things as Mateship looked enraged.
Hayley meanwhile caught up with Simon to fill him in on the situation until she exited because he looked too shocked and to calm down. Jordie approached him and asked why he looked so rattled – lol – with Simon pretending to still be OG Villains strong and as such, all in on voting out Sam. Shaun, Nina and Hayley then caught up, with Nina cautioning that she truly believes they will play the idols and as such, if the Heroes just lock in the vote on Sam, there will be no surprises and they can make a move next time.
At tribal council Shaun spoke about how grateful he is that their new tribe is stacked, while Jordie turned the attention to the fact the OG Villains are well and truly outnumbered which Simon agreed made him nervous. Shaun wisely suggested that everyone really should be worried. Jordie spoke about how tight the Heroes tribe are known to be with Sam talking about how loyal the Heroes are, while they all looked ready to vom from the guilt. Jordie spoke about how today was an epic scramble as Nina motioned to Sam that Jordie and Liz both have idols. While Liz watched on as all the Heroes grew more and more paranoid. As Simon spoke about how nervous he now is, Liz filled Jordie in on the whispers happening while Hayley reiterated the Heroes needed to stay strong, before Sam suggested that if the Villains have an idol, they should be nervous.
As Simon spoke about being rattled, Shaun told Nina that she and Hayley should still vote Sam while he, Simon and David switch back to voting for Jordie so that should the idol be played, Sam goes home, otherwise they can get rid of Jordie on the revote. Jordie admitted it feels like it could be his last tribal council tonight, with everyone agreeing they feel just as nervous. Liz admitted she is stressed, but that you need to risk it for the biscuit while Hayley wanted people to walk away from tribal council with some clarity about who they want to work with, while Jordie wanted everyone to leave knowing this is how you play the game.
With that the tribe voted and tragically neither Jordie or Liz played their idols, resulting in a tie between Jordie and Sam. Which on the revote, led to the Heroes eliminating Jordie, leaving Liz all alone. As is often the case, Jordie found his way to Loser Lodge by following the wailing sounds of my screams when I found out he came so close to not just breaking up the Heroes but also sending Sam, the worst person to ever play Survivor in the global franchise, home. Sadly though, he took the gamble of holding onto his idol to navigate through to the merge and while it cost him his game, I am impressed with the logic behind it, given he knew he was screwed if he couldn’t leverage an alliance.
I pulled him in for a massive hug, congratulating him and Sam on their pregnancy and thanking him for being such a damn delight this season. I mean, while Jordie was balls deep in an all male alliance last year, this year he channelled Erika Jayne, ready to give the gays (and girls) what they want, working with Shiz and George while gloriously mocking the Meat Tray. I told him I was proud of how grounded and fun his energy was and assured him that when it comes to his third time, he is poised for another deep run. And until then, he always has Jordie Hansenhos de Abobora.
These Portuguese pumpkin donuts – aka Sonhos de abobora – are positively delightful. Earthy, spiced and oh so sweet, the crisp shell gives way to a pillowy little cake that will have you coming back for more and more.
Enjoy!
Jordie Hansenhos de Abobora Serves: 6-8.
Ingredients 250g butternut pumpkin, peeled and diced 1 ½ cups raw caster sugar 80g butter, melted and cooled ¼ cup brandy 2 tbsp dried yeast 2 tsp vanilla extract 4 eggs, lightly whisked 2 ⅓ cups flour, sieved ½ tsp kosher salt 2 tbsp warm water vegetable oil, for fryin’ 2 tbsp ground cinnamon
Method Steam the pumpkin for 10 minutes or until nice and soft. Remove from the heat to cool and then blitz in a food processor until nice and smooth. Transfer to a bowl.
Whisk half a cup of sugar, the butter, brandy, yeast and vanilla into the pumpkin until well combined. Set aside for 5 minutes and leave to prove. Whisk in the egg before folding through the flour and water to form a thick dough. Cover, set aside and leave to prove for another half an hour, or until doubled in size.
Heat about 15cm of oil in a large saucepan until it hits 160C and mix the remaining sugar with the cinnamon. Cook spoonfuls of dough a few at a time for about 3 minutes, or until golden and cooked through. Transfer to a paper towel to drain for a minute before tossing through the cinnamon sugar. Repeat the process until all cooked, then devour with glee. Ideally with some Dulce de Nick Lachey.
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