Main

Chanel Persianorex Lamb and Lentil Pilaf

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 3, Main, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race España fresh off their first challenge – and first time surviving a first episode for The Macarena – Supremme tasked her newest queens with celebrating Eurovision. In a little geography based mini challenge, followed by an epic dance challenge. After The Macarena won the mini, she was given the power to select a rival team captain as the duos built their crews. Despite Clover doing that, it was Pink Cahdora that took out the ultimate win from Team The Macarena. Meanwhile Chuchi landed in the bottom two yet again after dedicating most of her time to helping her sisters in the challenge, before she was tragically sent home by Vania.

Backstage Vanie was giddy to have survived, though heartbroken it came at the cost of Chuchi’s place in the competition. While Hornella was just thrilled to still have her bestie around. And well, Vania too was busy focusing her rage against The Macarena anyway, more than ready to send her home ASAP. Before the revenge arc could commence, the dolls praised Pink Chadora for winning the challenge particularly since nobody actually felt she had a shot in hell. With Bestiah in particular pressed that someone that can not even dance managed to take out the dance challenge, which is relatable, but probably says more about how the judges see everyone else.

The next day the mood was once again perky and camp as the top eleven stomped their way back into the Werk Room celebrating Vania as their new Lip Sync Assassin. After another shout out to Chuchi, talk turned to how hard the judges were coming for them as Supremme warned them that they needed to serve more polish if they want to make it much further. While Chanel lol’d about Pink’s moustache and the fact Visa doesn’t tuck, though seductively suggested if she tried, she would have to tape it to her shoulder. Like Yvie. Insert Jinkx reflecting on life while snorting joke, which is a perfect reference for any and all situations, TBH.

Supremme made her return to put the dolls through their paces in this week’s maxi challenge, the big, bad ball! Which this year was Celebrating Spanish Culture. And for the final category, they would stomp in something they make using traditional regional costumes as their inspiration. And since Pink won the last challenge, she was given the power to assign them. She took the Salamanca suit for herself, Chanel got the Euskadi suit, Valencia for Pakita, Madrid went to Bestiah, Extremadura for Pitita, Aragon to Hornella, Asturias to Kelly, Canary Islands went to Visa and La Rioja to The Macarena, leaving the Flamenco for Clover and Pubilla to Vania. While the first two categories would be celebrations of colour and flavours of Spain.

With that Supremme bid them adios, leaving the dolls to rifle through supplies and come up with a plan for their third outfit. Clover appeared to be having a great time, emulating the orgasm scene from When Harry Met Sally while Bestiah was crapping herself. Vania meanwhile was thrilled to be playing within her wheelhouse, given she was so out of her element last week and now everyone else knows how she felt. Though Pitata was trying her best to help everyone, bless. Whether Chanel believed her intentions were pure or not. Kelly and Chanel were busy shading Pink Chadora for strategically allocating their inspiration, and while she denied it, she totally was being shady. As she should.

Supremme made a triumphant return to kiki with her daughters alongside Ana, with them loving Pink’s concept and the fact she was staying within her brand. Pitita served confidence in her skills and seemed to leave the judges wanting more, Clover meanwhile was nervous after Ana suggested making a negligee. Pakita meanwhile vowed to show off skin, whether it was appropriate for the region, assuring us that she was going to trust her instincts. The Macarena planned to serve wedding dress, using the anniversary of her father’s death to push her over the line. Visa on the other hand was thrilled to be celebrating her Mexican heritage through her look, particularly after Ana advised her on a few killer changes. Vania vowed to sell slutty icon queen of hearts, Bestiah talked around her nerves, focusing on making her aunt proud through her look. Kelly meanwhile was getting by with hot glue and a prayer and Hornella was just in her feels and hoping for the best.

Dia de eliminacion arrived with everyone exhausted after pulling an all nighter on their final looks, as Pakita suggested she was kept up by the hammering sound of sex among the girls. After nobody fessed up – despite Kelly’s awkward face – Visa admitted she was shocked by how difficult the challenge was, always assuming it just looked horrible on TV, but was actually fine. While Pitita whipped out a headlamp and confused the hell out of each and every one of them. Clover meanwhile was disappointed in her look – those damn flamenco ruffles – though vowed to sell it to avoid the lip sync. As the dolls split up to beat their mugs, Hornella checked in with The Macarena who opened up about being quiet since her return to the competition due to the fact she is in recovery and how the shame made it difficult for her to open up to others.

Supremme, Ana y los Javis were joined by Palomo Spain as Pakita opened the Colores runway in a stunning shade of green in honour of Carmina. Hornella was camp, lace-hatted patchwork perfection, Pink Chadora served white thistle glam, Vania was a shimmering red sun and Chanel served lamp, oil and curtains. The Macarena was a glamorous blooming bride, Clover was the sexier bride, paying homage to the Cuban flag, Pitita was a frilly, red delight, Kelly gave shimmering power politician, Visa stole the show as a sexy corn queen and Bestiah gave highlighter, transformer realness. 

When it came to the Sabores runway, Pakita gave a sexy fried egg dame, Hornella served shrimp realness with the coolest, camp wig I’ve ever seen, Pink served red wine – swoon – Vania gave a sexy Suzy Caramel, Chanel served sinner strawberry with an iconic cake wig reveal, The Macarena continued in the slutty ways, this time making it sea urchin. Clover meanwhile gave us glam honey coated nuts, Pitita gave burlesque croquettes before revealing a stunning calamari, Kelly served milk maid realness – which feels right – Visa served spicy chilli before Bestiah stole the category as a gorgeous Chupa Chupa headed sugary delight.

Closing out the show in their looks in honour of the Regiones, Pakita gave sexy mediaeval queen, Hornella was a fringed delight, Pink Chadora served ‘80s Madonna, though called it 90s. Vania meanwhile gave regal camp, Chanel gave Sailor Moon/Gem villain cosplay, The Macarena served grieving old widow, Clover was a power puff delight – spotted, frilled and perfect – before Pitita stole the show in a stunning, architectural look, though erred close to the source material. Kelly Roller also appeared to be inspired by ‘80s rock chicks, Visa was stunning draped in fabric, showing all the skin, before Bestiah closed the ball with an avant garde look which only further cements her as the frontrunner.

After thanking the dolls for stepping their pussies up, Supremme sent Pink, Vania, The Macarena, Visa and Hornella to safety before helping Pakita with all the praise for serving three, perfect, fully realised looks that were each oh so different. Chanel on the other hand was read for giving messy, ill fitting looks and well, it was as brutal as it sounds, and I would argue, nowhere near as bad as the judges made out. Pitita too was heaped with praise for all that she gave before Clover, for some reason, was read for not giving enough in the looks she brought from home and for giving no variety. Kelly was read for paying no attention to detail before Bestiah rounded out the top, thanked for giving perfection once again.

Backstage the safe girls were breathing a sigh of relief to have made it past the ball, with everyone quietly laughing about The Macarena questioning why she was safe. The tops and bottoms joined with the girls pointing out the win is definitely between Patitia and Pakita, while Bestiah was just gagged to be in the top yet again despite her lack of sewing skills. Kelly essentially treated the kiki as a farewell to the girls, knowing she will be lip syncing while Chanel was heartbroken to clearly be in the bottom with her, given she felt she gave something different each time.

Ultimately it was Pitita who took out the win as Pakita and Bestiah were sent to safety as lovely first and second alternates. At the other end of the pack Clover was rightly saved from the lip sync, leaving Kelly Roller and Chanel Anorex to battle to safety. To the Spanish language version of Christina Aguilera’s Genio Atrapado, so yeah, it was a bop AND a show. Chanel was flashing the dolls, Kelly was cartwheeling in skates and while it was messy, it was FUN. And as such, I was heartbroken that both the zaddies didn’t survive and poor Chanel Anorex was felled from the competition.

As she arrived backstage, I quickly pulled Chanel in for a massive hug and assured her that despite being an early out, she easily showcased how much of a sickening queen she is. And well, since she is hot, she will always be a robbed goddess, which is honestly the best you can hope for sometimes. While that didn’t immediately pull her out of her disappointment, after smashing some Chanel Persianorex Lamb and Lentil Pilaf, she quickly rallied, ready for her shot to return to the competition.


This glorious little fusion dish is one of those God-level mid-week meals. Quick and easy, yet hearty and warming, the spiced lamb pairs perfectly with the pilaf to perk up any and all bleak days.

Enjoy!


Chanel Persianorex Lamb and Lentil Pilaf
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
olive oil
1 onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
400g canned lentils, drained and rinsed
½ cauliflower head, cut into florets
1L chicken stock
300g basmati rice
500g lamb mince
2 tbsp Moroccan seasoning
salt and pepper, to taste
1 cup Greek yoghurt
¼ cup mint leaves, roughly chopped
¼ cup slivered almonds, toasted

Method
Heat a lug of oil in a large saucepan over medium heat and sweat the onion and garlic for about 5 minutes, or until soft. Add the rice and cook, stirring, for a further minute to coat. Slowly pour in the stock, cauliflower and lentils, and bring to the boil. Reduce heat to low, cover and cook for 10 minutes, or until the rice is tender and the liquid absorbed.

While that is cooking, heat a lug of oil in a skillet over medium heat and cook the lamb and Moroccan seasoning, breaking up lumps with a wooden spoon, for 5 minutes or so, or until cooked through. Remove from the heat and season.

Finally, combine the yoghurt and mint in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper.

To serve, divide the pilaf between four bowls, top with the lamb followed by a good dollop of minted yoghurt and a sprinkle of almonds. Then devour, like a zaddy.


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Sausage Gnockane Fritzler

Main, Pasta, Survivor, Survivor 44, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor after a string of split tribals, multi-immunity, non-merges and buffless boots – as has tragically become the status quo of the postmodern era of our beloved show – we finally enjoyed our first regular post-merge episode. And well, it was kind of a doozy! At an iconic immunity challenge we got to see Carolyn protecting Carson as she got stuck in a netted anus before Danny won the season with an even more iconic fart – timing it in response to Probst, no less – on Lauren’s way to taking out immunity. Back at camp the Tika trio expertly rode the middle, as Ratu and Soka went to war. At tribal council Danny squeaked out an idol play for Frannie, winning the war and sending Brandon to the jury. Without anyone realising how tight the Tika trio were.

Back at camp Frannie gave Danny a massive hug to thank him for saving her, while he was just thrilled by their plan going off without a hitch. And not sharting at the challenge, though that was confirmed on social media. Jamie meanwhile pretended to be thrilled by the boss move, while Lauren admitted she regretted not pushing harder for the split vote situation since it would have guaranteed their power. Particularly since Ratu are now even with the other two tribes. Thankfully she still felt solid in her majority, unaware that Tika isn’t legitimately with them. Which Yam Yam confirmed, grateful to still look like he was in a power alliance with the Ratu’s, while getting his way at tribal council and eliminating another person that previously targeted him. Just like Queen Shonee.

The next day Kane and Jamie caught up and regrouped as they hunted for what they assumed would be a newly hidden idol. Ideally to get rid of the biggest threat left in the game, in the form of Danny. As he too desperately searched high and low for an idol, with a patented five tree check followed by collecting some firewood. Sadly for him, it wasn’t as stealth as he assumed, with Jamie and Lauren growing more and more desperate to collect it before him, as sweete Jamie rejoiced about still having her idol. Which to remind everyone is a fake that was tragically hidden by her closest ally Matthew. Oh and amongst the chaos of everyone hunting, it was Heidi that snatched it out of nowhere, despite barely even looking. Like a damn boss.

Back at camp Yam Yam was leading the group in a game of I spy to distract from the actual game, which is honestly iconic – I love his passion for enjoying the ride, rather than being on, all the damn time. Carolyn too was living her best life just hanging with everyone, sharing that she is 13 years sober, and hearing her talk about her recovery and bonding with the tribe was just so damn sweet and heartwarming. And well, crown her now as she is the best casting choice in a good decade. Particularly since she has weaponised everyone’s perceptions of her to make her seem like less of a threat, which is honestly brilliant.

Again, I love her.

Carson meanwhile was still feeling like crap, as Carolyn and Heidi rallied around to help him eat since he had lost the urge to vom. The tribe then found treemail with the promise for the group to be able to negotiate for rice by a number of people sitting out of the challenge, with it appearing nobody would even be willing to do it. Oh and while I was confident Tika was stealth, it appears that Frannie at least is aware of them being a threating alliance.

After meeting with Probst he explained that to win immunity they would stand on a small block and balance a ball against an overhanging piece of wood. And to secure enough rice for the rest of the game, the tribe would need four people to sit out. Lauren and Carson instantly offered, while Danny and Carolyn offered to not vote for any of the sit-outs, which led to Kane and a reluctant Heidi joining them. With that, the remaining five took their places in the challenge with Carolyn and Jamie dropping nearly instantly, leaving Yam Yam, Frannie and Danny to battle for immunity. Yam Yam was next to go, with the duo holding on for five minutes with the rain pummelling them before Danny dropped, handing immunity, once again, to our loved up, nerdy icon Frannie.

Back at camp she was thrilled to be the undisputed challenge beast before the tribe found their rice and giddily got to work cooking a real meal. After joyously smashing the food, Yam Yam was fired up and ready to think through the vote ahead, acutely aware that he is not the only one that would be supercharged by the food. He was thrilled to stay in the middle of the two feuding tribes, with Heidi and Soka floating to them the idea of getting rid of Kane given he is the bigger strategic threat. With that seemingly locked in, Tika approached Ratu to get their thoughts, while also subtly suggesting Jamie should play her idol and suggesting they split the vote between Heidi and Danny.

Ratu meanwhile got nervous about a potential Knowledge is Power coming into play, so swapped who held the extra vote and idol to work around it and keep their plan in tact. Frannie on the other hand was growing more and more concerned about Tika taking control and floated the idea of working with Ratu to blindside Yam Yam instead. With Danny thankfully suggesting Ratu were still the bigger threat – which I’d argue is wrong – and as such, felt they should focus on getting out Kane still. The legitimately dangerous Tika trio were debating which side was better to go with, with Yam Yam and Carolyn fighting over who would be better to get rid of out of Kane and Danny, with Carson calmly trying to keep them all from splintering.

At tribal council Matt beamed with pride to see Frannie with another immunity before talk turned to sitting out for the rice, with Heidi happy about her decision, despite being vulnerable. Kane meanwhile wasn’t confident in the fact people assured the sit outs they won’t be voted out, with Danny pointing out he gave a scouts honour, despite not being a scout. Kane acknowledged he made his choice based on the fact he knew he couldn’t win that challenge while Jamie shaded people who didn’t sit out for showing their games. Carolyn acknowledged the fact that now that they are fed, they feel normal again and were ready to truly strategise. With Yam Yam agreeing he felt able to plan, though you best believe he was nervous about being targeted.

Frannie spoke about the excitement of tribal council, despite never really knowing which plan is going to play out. Heidi listed all the possible advantages and complications which could derail the vote, while Jamie was just nervous about whether the last conversation she had is the one people are still going with. Kane admitted he loves the chaos, given it makes for a funner game, while Danny spoke about finding the balance between leading a vote and knowing when to follow. Carolyn on the other hand was confused about everything now, as Kane started to whisper amongst the tribe. Eventually Jamie and Lauren stood up to whisper before it erupted into full blown chaos with names going out left and right, with everyone unsure what was real and what was just a ploy to get people to flush advantages.

Finally the tribe voted – Jamie twice, using Lauren’s advantage – as Kane was blindsided with Jamie’s idol in his pocket, sadly unaware it was only a fake anyway. Which I quickly filled him in on as he arrived in Ponderosa. I pulled him in for a massive hug, thanking him for being such a sweet, nerdy icon with a killer wardrobe. While he may not have ever cast an eliminating vote, Kane showed he had solid game instinct and TBH, I would love to see how he went in a second season. But until then, I focused on celebrating his game and the sausage fest that is the jury – swoon – with a big, fat bowl of Sausage Gnockane Fritzler.

Sweet and herbaceous, with a hint of spice carried on a creamy tomato sauce, this gnocchi is a quick and easy meal which tricks people into thinking you dedicated a good couple of hours in the kitchen. It is that good.

Enjoy!

Sausage Gnockane Fritzler
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
olive oil
500g Italian sausage, casings removed
6 shallots, sliced
6 cloves garlic, minced
⅓ cup cinzano
400g can diced tomatoes
2 tsp chilli paste
1 cup double cream
500g gnocchi
½ cup parmesan cheese, grated
½ cup fresh basil leaves, roughly chopped
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Heat a small – and I mean small, which is odd for me TBH – lug of the olive oil to lightly coat a medium deep skillet over medium heat and cook the sausage breaking up with a wooden spoon for five minutes, or until browned through. Add the onion and cook for a further few minutes, followed by the garlic for another minute.

Add the cinzano to the pan to deglaze anything that caught on the bottom before stirring in the tomatoes, chilli, double cream and gnocchi. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low, cover and cook for five minutes or so. Uncover and check the gnocchi, cooking for a further couple of minutes if required.

Remove from the heat and fold through the parmesan and basil and season to taste before serving piping hot. Coated in even more parmesan just before devouring, obvi.


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Instant Mariamen Edilia

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 3, Main, Snack, Soup, Street Food, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race España 12 reinas nuevas arrived in the Werk Room, ready to prove that they and Supremme are the greatest international franchise. Starting with a stunning display of nudity on the first runway, courtesy of Marina. The dolls dazzled and delighted, with camp fun and a whole lot of heart – and drama, thanks to Marina and Juriji – before it was whittled down to just four. Well, three after Marina was eliminated in the final episode. Ultimately though, despite Marina starring in this here recap, it was Sharonne who dominated from start to finish and rightly landed herself the crown.

It is lights up in the Werk Room for another year, however, as Pink Chadora arrived looking like a floral bimbo queen and instantly I fell in love and saw a place for her in the Barbie movie, so fit her in please Margot! She was joined by Hornella Góngora who gave Jessica Rabbit realness in all the right ways. After they became the fastest of friends – bonding over Hornella’s papaya – Pakita arrived serving smut and sex as a fluffy devil and well, my basement is flooded and I am struggling to breathe. Bestiah rock’n’rolled her way into the competition looking like a cartoon high school baddie and again, I am in love. She was followed by Pitita serving old Hollywood glamour in a hard pivot, which I’ve come to love from España.

The fivesome’s kiki was interrupted by the arrival of Spanish Ginger Minj, Maria Edilia with an epically long entry line that won over my heart. Representing the Canary Islands this year was Drag Chuchi who served golden stilt realness and looked like he could choke me out of drag. So yeah, she is my new fave. Vania Vainilla arrived serving goth showgirl realness, but then Pitita explained her anus was closed for renovations and that information became more important than any new arrivals could ever be. Clover Bish became the second cis female to compete globally, looking like Adore Delano does Cher Horowitz and well, I love her. As does Pitita, busted anus or not. Channelling Trixie entering All Stars, Kelly Roller arrived serving roller Barbie and well, I live. Particularly seeing her out of drag, as once again, my basement is flooded.

Chanel Anorex was next to join the fray looking like the love child of a bull and the green goblin, but surprise surprise, was a zaddy out of drag, so I stan. Rounding out the cast was Mexico’s finest Visa arrived, serving ancient goddess realness and ugh, it was perfect. Wait, hang on, there is another doll this season as The Macarena returned for another shot at the crown which gagged everyone. Who were obviously super shady about having a repeater in the class. Before they could completely break The Macarena, Supremme arrived to welcome her newest girls. With a cheeky little roll around the hay mini challenge. Aka a photoshoot with each serving barnyard chic, based on the animal they pulled out of the zaddy pit crew’s sack. 

After getting into animal quick drag, the dolls joined the zaddies on set as Pitita gave the most demented rat, channelling the icon herself – and newest three timer – Jimbo. Kelly Roller buzzed her way into my heart as a rollerskating bee, The Macarena was an unhinged hen that would make Detox proud while Maria Edilia was an adorable, smutty little piggy. Clover gave hot cow, Chanel was a wild, junky boro, Bestiah bounded into our hearts as a bunny, Vania was a horny horse and wisely got the Pit Crew to ride her, so yeah, that is a win for me. Pink Chadora meanwhile was a glamour fly, before Visa gave party ladybug and Hornella served an even hornier cow than those that came before her. Chuchi meanwhile gave sexy sheep, wisely getting the Pit Crew involved too before Pakita stole my heart as she showed us just how hungry a wolf can be. Ultimately though there could only be one winner and that was rightly Hornella, because it was completely unhinged.

Before departing Supremme announced that for their first maxi challenge they would be throwing a little Talent Show! But more importantly, they all dedragged to flood my basement while checking in on how The Macarena feels to be back. And decide whether a single episode even gives her an upper hand. The Macarena meanwhile was busy bonding with Clover and Chuchi, with the old hands telling Clover to stand firm and know she belongs. Oh and then they all bonded over not getting laid without eyebrows, which makes me and my Eugene Levy’s feel really good right about now!

Dia de eliminacion arrived with everyone excited for their first challenge, while The Macarena was just hoping to avoid the bottom. Talk turned to everyone being talented singers, which made Pink nervous about it landing her in the bottom. They then pivoted to who they see as the biggest threat – already – as everyone agreed it was Pitita, while she in turn was nervous about Hornella. As they split up to beat their mugs, the dolls bonded over their partners with Pink Chadora thrilled to have sucked the same dick for 15 years. Like an icon.

Supremme, Ana y los Javis were joined by zaddy Paco Leon on the judges panel as Visa opened the Supremme Eleganza Talent Extravanganza with a killer, camp Mayan gymnastic act in ropes. She spun, she split, she sung, sha danced and it was amazing and I love her. Bestiah then calmly sat with her talent, playing the piano and singing and well, it was beautiful, lack of camp be damned! Wait, no, it turned it a punk rock performance with backup dancers rocking in like the monkeys in Wizard of Oz. It was wild and a bop and this is why España is my favourite franchise. Vania meanwhile gave boudoir glam as she taught tantric, complete with fire and rotating through the Pit Crew like magic. Or Khalessi’s power. Clover then listened to our lord and saviour Anetra and walked the fucking duck. And it was glorious.

Like the Pit Crew’s speedos.

Maria meanwhile served typing lip sync before getting with her boss and well, it made no sense which is why I kinda love it. Pink Chadora meanwhile sung an original song about farming, Bambi or global warming. Either way, there were dancing carrots and therefore, I love it. The Macarena served sexy Britney as she sang her original song, despite a missing key here or there. Pitita gave camp, mime, chic complete with snacks both food and in the form of sexy sailer back-up dancers. So again, I live. Drag Chuchi meanwhile served drama as she lip synced about Dia De Los Muertos before it too turned sexy. Hornella Góngora then sang Dancing on My Own as two zaddies danced live and made out. So yep, you guessed it, another win. 

Kelly Roller was thankfully on brand skating her way across stage as she lip synced looking ready to compete in the Hunger Games and while I live, that is mainly because she went off the stage. Sometimes on purpose. Pakita then gave an emotional performance singing before stripping off and pole dancing and well, I love it. Chanel Anorex then closed the show giving sexy snow beast before lip syncing to Cannibal as the back-up dancers coated her in red paint. So yep, I did stan it because it was amazing.

On the Spain is Different runway, Bestish was a glamour serrano ham, ready for battle in all the right ways. Hornella was a shimmering red Goya delight, Vania was a gaudy (in a good way) pink and purple puffy star and looked to be having the most fun possible. Pink Chadora was a ruffled, leather femme fatale, ready to take you as soon as you start something. Drag Chuchi gave disco ball comes disco diva, looking stunning in the process. And serving all the body. Chanel gave camp icon ready for a day at the races or fresh from an easter hat parade. Complete with high heeled crocs. Pitita gave us Alaska’s trashbag look, though upcycled with a tonne of cash. Maria gave camp, vamp ladybug, Pakita was the most camp, giving the sun and moon, dripping in tinsel like a glam car wash. Again, in a good way. Clover looked ready to sing cabaret at a rich fundraiser in a shimmering black gown, The Macarena served drama as she gave bleeding, murdered art before Visa served shimmering tower, into a chameleon and well it was batshit, so I love it. While Kelly walked the runway selling herself as an 80s theatre icon.

Vania, Pitita, Pink, Chanel, Clover and Visa were sent to safety before Bestiah received universal praise for her looks and for slaying the talent show. Hornella was praised for singing live and holding their attention, despite being pitchy. Chuchi was read for not giving enough Canary Islands in the talent show and for being hit and miss with her looks. Maria was read for messing up the sync of the lip sync of her talent show. Pakita received wall to wall praise for all the diverse things she showed this week. The Macarena was read for being pitchy throughout the performance, though was praised for fitting everything to her body. Despite the exposed corset. Kelly too was read for her nerves and the moment where she fell from the stage, despite them loving her runway.

Backstage the safe girls celebrated making it through another week, with Pink in particular happy to survive on something she was scared of. Clover meanwhile felt she and Visa were robbed of a place in the top, while the others were a little shocked it wasn’t Vania winning, though agreed out of the dolls left, it should be Bestiah snatching the first victory. The tops and bottoms soon joined them with Maria opening up about clearly being in the bottom, while The Macarena was concerned about history repeating itself. Chuchi on the other hand was proud of her performance, despite being read for it.

Ultimately the dolls proved to be right as Bestiah took out victory after Hornella, Pakita and Kelly were sent to safety. Despite her fears, The Macarena narrowly avoided the lip sync as she was sent to safety, leaving Maria and Chuchi to battle it out to Despechá by Rosalía and while I’d like to say it was a battle, it erred more on the side of a bloodbath as Chuchi stripped down to pasties – top and bottom – shaking and flipping all over stage completely nude. And well, maybe I am distracted by the flooded basement, but she rightly earned her safety as sweet Maria became the The Macarena of the season. Or is she, given Supremme’s cryptic video at the end? Dun, dun, DUN.

Despite whatever it is Supremme has planned for the eliminated dolls this season, I pulled Maria in for a massive hug as soon as she returned to the Werk Room. While we were tragically robbed of seeing everything she has to offer, I once again rolled out the platitude that first boots are always more memorable than early boots and as such, she is now as iconic as the future winner of the season. Plus, being the first boot doesn’t appear to have stopped Jaymes Mansfield from becoming an All Star now, does it? After that, she was feeling very pleased with herself and was thrilled to join me in toasting her speed run with a piping hot bowl of Instant Mariamen Edilia.

Like Tayce before me, 2 Minute Noodles are one of my favourite foods (of childhood, at least) and this little copycat is an elevation that warms your soul. Sweet, smooth and earthy, the miso broth adds the perfect kick for any mood.

Enjoy!

Instant Mariamen Edilia
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 tbsp miso paste
1L chicken stock
300g instant ramen
1 tbsp parsley, roughly chopped

Method
Combine the miso paste and stock in a large saucepan over medium heat, and cook, stirring, until it comes to the boil. Reduce heat to low, add the noodles and simmer for a couple of minutes, say two, until they are soft and tender.

Remove from the heat, stir in the parsley, stir and then devour. Joyously.


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Anetrata

Breakfast, Main, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 15, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race a new cast of queens arrived in the Werk Room and TBH, they kept us fed. Well at the very least Luxx and Mistress did, bringing sass and shade each week, making everyone put the fight in fighting spirit. But aside from that the dolls absolutely slayed, with Anetra walking the fucking duck, Sasha cracking her neck to victory, Loosey giving us a perfect Joan Rivers while Spice gave us that Miley and Anetra and Marcia Cubed delivered the lip sync of the season. One by one they were sent home until it was just Anetra, Luxx, Mistress and Sasha remaining, after a late breaking double shantay from Mama Ru.

Oh and then the world’s longest reunion happened.

We returned to the Ace Hotel Theatre as the queens were wheeled back out in the order they were eliminated. As a reminder that order was – yep, it is happening – Irene DuBois, Princess Poppy, Sugar, Amethyst, Robin Fierce, Aura Mayari, Jax, Spice, Malaysia Babydoll Foxx, Marcia Marcia Marcia, Salina EsTitties and Loosey LaDuca. The top four then stole the show as Anetra, Luxx Noir London, Mistress Isabelle Brooks and mother Sasha Colby were brought out, proving why they are still in the running. We then got a five Ru performance of her song, which happened, but I’ll take the shirtless back-up dancers any day. And by take, they can walk my fucking duck any day. After introducing Michelle, Carson, Ross and the TS Madison, Mama Ru explained how the evening would proceed with the dolls all doing a solo performance before the top two would lip sync for the crown. 

First cab off the rank was the iconic Anetra who is still such a sweet angel, grateful for her father for providing the love and support that allowed her to become the person she is. Her solo number, Lotus, was inspired by the flower blossoming only after going through all the muck. Which is apt for what she has experienced in her life, and well, now she is walking the duck and karate chopping like a boss. Obviously she destroyed the performance with the judges loving all that she served. In a kiki with Ru, she charmed her way through explaining her superpower was jumping over queens with BFAs while her kryptonite was men over 6 feet. And between her relatability and how sweet her dad and stepmom are, I need a double crown ASAP.

Luxx meanwhile was fired up to take the crown, willing to commit crime, but only one that would get her arrested, but not thrown in jail. Her finale performance, It’s Giving Fashion, was a high-energy bop which she slayed from start to finish. Complete with a little bit of an Anetra signature, walking the duck. The judges rightly heaped her with praise before she told Ru she can not wait to see how this turns out. She admitted to Ru that she was completely vibing and living her best life, before her mother spoke about her getting her legendary performing skills from her grandmother, father and of course, herself, her mother. Her boyfriend meanwhile sobbed about how much she loves them, while Luxx put everything she is today down to drag. So now I need a triple crown (the first going to Sasha, obvi).

We then had a little interlude dedicated to the iconic Bob Mackie, as Ru gifted him the Giving us Life-time Achievement Award. Which is important, despite not adding to the plot.

When they pivoted from the sweet, petite old man to the killer, larger than life Mistress Isabelle Brooks and hell, make it a quadruple crowning, because she literally carried the season on her back. She served sass, emotion and most importantly, eras. When it came to her original song Delusion – in honour of being patient zero – she was fire. It was hyper colour, hypnotic – literally – and straight up perfection from start to finish, fun and fierce, complete with  a signature giggle. With the judges agreeing it was stunning, as always. While chatting to Ruple Charles, Mistress admitted she actually watched her mouth and held back over the course of the season. And reminded everyone they can be who they want, big or small. Her mother Chavelle Brooks then told her how proud of her she is, while I ship her and her bestie.

Rounding out the solos, Sasha was proud of her journey and how much she has evolved throughout the season. And how grateful she was for all her chosen family and those bio family members she is still in contact with. Her performance of Goddess was instantly iconic as she came out as a serpent, complete with snake braids and back-up in buttflaps. It was a bop and it was a performance. No doubt guaranteeing mama her spot in the final lip sync, which I’d argue the judges straight up agreed with. She was most grateful to the experience for allowing her to meet the fans and their supportive families. Her besties’ partner broke down about how proud he was of everything she has achieved thus far. With Sasha sure that thanks to Ru, she will be achieving her dreams and taking over the world in no time.

The top four all took their places on the stage as Ru announced which queens would progress to lip sync for the crown, with Anetra and Sasha obviously chosen. Because duh, despite how iconic Luxx and Mistress are.

As the top two disappeared backstage to prepare, Ru rucapped Wigloose, heartbroken that it proved to be prophetic before a group of queercons and Kevin Bacon – since Wild Things is super queer – did a touching version of the Imagine video (well, not out of touch). Leland and Orville Peck then performed a song with the queens and while it was a vibe, it was too sweet to read. Willow Pill then made her triumphant return to the stage to flip everyone off before Kornbread arrived serving BEAST. Before she rapped about the Season 15 dolls ahead of crowning Malaysia Babydoll Foxx the newest Miss Congeniality.

Most importantly, we then had an epic segment dedicated to Jinkx Monsoon before she took the stage to perform her number from Chicago. And oh my God, she is perfect and I am so gutted I didn’t get to see her in the show. As she and Ru kikied, we were reminded that Jinkx dreamed of performing in drag on Broadway, meaning winning Drag Race is the key to achieving your dreams. 

After wheeling the Queen of all Queens off stage, the top two arrived to lip sync for the crown to Knock on Wood by Amii Stewart and ugh, I love the song and know they are both going to kill it. As soon as it started, both of the dolls hit every lyric and beat. Sasha served a reveal from an epic coat, before pulling a bone from the corset of her gown to reveal a sexy number as she served all the hairography. Anetra gave a bleeding heart, Sasha used her coat as a couch and well, it was good. Which TBH, is exactly what we were expecting from the duo. And despite it being the strongest final two in YEARS, Ru opted out of a double crowning and instead gave mother Sasha her flowers, leaving Anetra to secure her win in All Stars 9.

Mark my words.

As Sasha was getting her crown, I theatrically yoinked Anetra offstage with a crook and pulled her in for a massive hug, reminding her that she is now in the company of Alaska and Shea, as iconic losing finalists that are easily going to power through to the Hall of Fame. While she didn’t snatch the crown, there is no denying that Anetra’s run was nothing short of legendary and as such, she is definitely going to have the biggest career glow-up post season. Since she is rightly beloved. Sadly though, Ru couldn’t even spring for a runner-up prize – guess Camden was just paid restitution for her UK sisters not getting a prize – meaning she had to settle for just my Anetrata.

And by mine, I mean SJP’s character’s family recipe in The Family Stone. Strata is one of those dishes that are so easy – who doesn’t love something you prepare the day ahead – yet jam packed with flavour, and this one a hit. Rich, earthy, sweet and creamy, it melts in your mouth while warms your heart. Kinda like Anetra herself.

Enjoy!

Anetrata
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
6 Italian sausages, removed from casings, cooked into small pieces and cooled
1 baguette, sliced
½ cup mozzarella cheese, grated
4 tomatoes, sliced 
400g mushrooms, sliced
1 onion, thinly sliced
6 eggs
3 cups milk
1 tsp kosher salt
1 tsp dried oregano
½ tsp black pepper
1 pinch garlic salt
½ – 1 cup parmesan cheese, for sprinklin’

Method
Butter or line a large baking dish and arrange half the bread into the base of the dish, trying to leave as small gaps as possible. Sprinkle over half the sausage, mozzarella, tomato, mushrooms and onions. Top with the rest of the bread, followed by the rest of the sausage, mozzarella, tomato, mushrooms and onions.

Whisk the eggs, milk, salt, oregano, pepper and garlic salt in a large bowl until well combined. Slowly pour over the strata, making sure the liquid gets into every nook and cranny. Sprinkle parmesan over the top, cover and transfer to the fridge to chill overnight.

The next morning, take the strata out of the fridge to come to temperature as you preheat the oven to 160C. Transfer to the oven and back for an hour or so, or until the top is golden and puffed and it is cooked through. Insert a knife and if it comes out clean it is ready, otherwise return to cook for a little longer.

Once done, leave to rest for 10 minutes before slicing, serving and devouring. Plotting how to top a killer run on your second go.


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Joshuarrabbiata Wilder Sauce

Main, Pasta, Sauce, Survivor, Survivor 44, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor the dwindling yet iconic Tika tribe tried to rally after Josh idolled Sarah out of the game. Despite Yam Yam being the only person blindsided in the process, he tried to make amends with Carolyn and Josh, and enjoy their time. Josh meanwhile tried to pretend he found another immunity idol, though sadly for him the beads from treemail fell apart in Yam Yam’s hands as Carolyn realised he was also using the exact same note from the first idol. After losing the latest immunity challenge, Carolyn had an awkward journey-feast with Brandon and Danny which made her realise that the alphas were banding together and as such, targeting Josh was the smartest move. Thankfully for him, however, there was no tribal council at all as Matthew’s shoulder felled him from the game.

The next day the Tika trio were nonchalant about avoiding certain doom as Yam Yam and Carolyn debated the pronunciation of bag – or is it baeg? – just like my mother. Josh meanwhile was thrilled to still be alive in the game, though well and truly ready for some new company. Right on cue, we dropped by Soka where the tribe read treemail advising them to drop their buffs, pack up their belongings and bounce. Tika too were told to pack, while Ratu was thrilled to learn that the non-merge (and then I assume real merge) will take place on their beach, meaning they could just chill. Carson meanwhile was ready for some chaos before pointing out that the wording of the note means they haven’t merged, but does confirm his idol is powerless. As such, he announced that he had one, leading to Lauren sharing the fact that she has an extra vote. For reasons.

Soka and Tika arrived and everyone did some casual getting to know you, while Kane was just nervous about where he stands and how exactly things will play out in the larger group. Josh meanwhile was thrilled to be away from Yam Yam and Carolyn, unaware that Carolyn had spread information about his idols to Brandon during their journey and for some reason, he lied and told him that he does in fact have one. After he caught up with Jamie and told her the truth about being down to a fake idol only, she caught up with Heidi and Frannie to talk about his idols or lack thereof, with Jamie confident he does have an idol, despite her being the only person he told the truth to. Confused? Same!

The group came together at camp to talk about the pre-merge phase with Josh being a little extra about Yam Yam turning on him, despite the fact they were on opposite sides of the vote and there was no real betrayal. Feeling nervous, Yam Yam started to make new friends, catching up with Matt who assured him everyone doesn’t hate him and instead Josh was meant to go at their next tribal council on Soka, and to him, he is still the next target. After Yam Yam explained that Carolyn is being super quiet at the moment, we ventured back to camp where Carolyn admitted she was super nervous about keeping her personality in check to get people on her side. Before she went and told them all she loves sweating. Thankfully though, it was quickly brushed over and she was able to lay low as she wanted until it was the right time to reunite Carson. 

Speaking of Carson, the right time came about later that night as they caught up on the beach and pledged their undying loyalty to each other. Yam Yam then joined them to lock in a secret trio, agreeing to keep their distance for the next while and come back together to take control later on. Once the big threats have finished cannibalising themselves, that is. Also that night, Matt and Frannie were sleeping next to each other and being cute and flirty and I want them to adopt me. Or at least make me a flowerboy at their wedding.

The tribe came together with Jeffrey for the Earn the Merge challenge – eyeroll, of course – with the tribe split into teams to race to push a massive boulder along a course to collect keys, climb a tower and use the keys to unlock puzzle pieces and solve a puzzle. Oh and in addition to getting buffs and immunity at tribal council, the victors also got a feast. Matt, Frannie, Carolyn, Carson, Brandon and Jamie faced off against Heidi, Danny, Lauren, Yam Yam, Josh and Kane with the latter getting out to an early lead before the other group overtook them on the next two obstacles. They continued to pull away until Danny and Josh pulled everyone from their group up the wall. However, that headstart meant nothing when it came to the puzzle, given Carson had repeatedly studied it before the game and solved it in a matter of minutes. Earning the merge and handing his group a feast.

Back at camp the losers were heartbroken to be starving, while Yam Yam was terrified about being the most likely target. He caught up with Danny and Kane, suggesting they should get rid of Josh next which annoyed Danny, given he didn’t want to make any decisions without the winners present. As he worried about putting his foot in his mouth, Josh was busy locking in Lauren and Heidi to get rid of Yam Yam and while they pretended to be on board, Heidi still felt like Josh was a bigger issue for her game. Idol or not. The victors meanwhile were giddily smashing their food before talk turned to tribal council with everyone happy to get rid of Josh too. That being said, Brandon was worried about the idol and as such, needed to identify a backup, with him more than happy to get rid of Kane for voting for him at the first tribal council. Oh and then Carolyn straight up told them Josh does not have an idol, calmly articulating his entire web of lies yet for some reason, nobody believed her.

Everyone reunited at camp with Jamie worried about how easy the plan to get rid of Josh came together, though was confident in having Kane as a back-up. Frannie meanwhile was assuring Josh that Kane is the target, leading to Josh approaching Yam Yam to bury the hatchet and tell him they should come together to get rid of Kane. And while Yam Yam pretended he was ok with things, he assured us that Josh is far and away his last option. Brandon meanwhile wasn’t overly worried about the Josh plan falling apart, given he has his beef with Kane. Carson meanwhile warned Kane that his name came up at the feast, however Kane in turn stupidly threw Carson under the bus by approaching Brandon to see what happened. And while he calmly admitted he did throw his name out there, he approached Carson to tell him how stupid it was. Oh and then Kane’s nerves got the best of him, approaching Matt and Danny to throw out the idea of changing the vote to Yam Yam. Matt then told Josh he was the target and hot damn, it is a mess and everyone seems confused.

At tribal council Carson spoke about how difficult it was to keep track of what was happening during the scramble, while Kane assured everyone he is operating from a place of trust and will vote based on that. Yam Yam admitted he is at a disadvantage, even more so given he just can’t stop running his mouth. Ever. Josh downplayed his bond with Yam Yam and Carolyn, pointing out he is more Soka strong. Essentially. Talk turned to idols, with Brandon not sure what exactly is going on and who could have them. Carolyn agreed there were a lot of variables to work around, while Heidi felt like it was hard to keep up with the plans, given everyone has their own opinions. Yam Yam admitted he was feeling very nervous and unsure what conversations he could trust, while Matt felt that this non-merge is intense and he honestly doesn’t even know what is meant to be happening tonight. With that the non-tribe voted and no idols – real or fake – were played as they banded together to finally oust Josh from the game.

Obviously Josh was super gutted to have found himself booted before the legit merge and *gay gasp* not on the jury, meaning in the words of the great Kat Edorsson, he is no longer datable. As he arrived at Loser Lodge I pulled him in for a massive hug and assured him that Kat is wrong and any man would be lucky to have him, despite the fact he and Yam Yam couldn’t get it together and run the game with the rest of our queer fam. I congratulated him for doing all that he could in the game, despite essentially being shut out on both of his tribes and toasted his run with a big vat of Joshuarrabbiata Wilder Sauce.

While marinara is the most famous of the tomato based sauces, my heart belongs to its spicy cousin the arrabbiata. A delicate hint of garlic and a kick of chilli work together to provide a complex, rich sauce that elevates any pastas. And is super easy to make, to boot.

Enjoy!

Joshuarrabbiata Wilder Sauce
Makes: 2-3 cups.

Ingredients
2 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
3 red chillies, halved, deseeded and roughly chopped
1 tbsp tomato paste
800g canned whole peeled tomatoes
1 tsp raw caster sugar
2 tsp balsamic vinegar
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Heat the oil in a frying pan over medium heat and saute the onion and garlic for about five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the chillies and tomato paste and cook, stirring, for a further couple of minutes.

Stir in the canned tomatoes and sugar, bring to the boil before reducing heat to low and simmer for about 15 minutes, or until thickened. Stir in the balsamic vinegar and a good whack of salt and vinegar before serving, with your fav pasta. Or if it isn’t about the pasta, pop it in a cup and drink it down.


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Mater Grinstot-Maylffles

Breakfast, Snack, Street Food, Survivor, Survivor 44, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor the three tribes were sitting pretty, confident in the fact they could ride things out to the merge together before starting the next phase of their battle royale. Sadly for them, the producers opted to give us a little format tweak and after sending Jaime, Carson and Josh to journey island, they found themselves returning to a new tribe each. And while that kinda sucked for them, they didn’t go alone, each gifted a hidden immunity idol which would last up until the merge. After Tika tragically lost another immunity challenge, Yam Yam, Sarah and Carolyn were ready to kick Josh to the curb. Well, until Yam Yam and Carolyn started feuding over the latter always being the decoy name, leading to Carolyn flipping to work with Josh to blindside Sarah instead.

Back at camp Yam Yam and Carolyn bickered back and forth about tribal council, with Yam Yam trying to get her to understand that he would have done what she wanted at tribal council if she just told him, while she in turn argued it didn’t seem like that. And told us that she felt more like Yam Yam was upset about being left out, rather than not being told. She explained that she had been made to feel like the third turd of the alliance, before the duo admitted they were just kinda sad that they had issues, questioning if they would be able to move on and come back together. Josh on the other hand was thrilled to have survived against all the odds.

We visited with Ratu the next day where Matthew started to break down to Kane about how much pain he has been in, unsure how he will be able to push through the rest of the game. Kane meanwhile was the absolute sweetest, talking about how proud of him he is as Matthew started to cry again. He also got teary when talking about it to Carson by the well and ugh, I hate where this is going because it feels like this is going to be Kaoh Rong 2.0. Carson meanwhile was thrilled by how much headway he has made within the tribe before he and Kane bonded over being so nerdy and ugh, I just love them both. So, so much.

Checking in with Soka, Danny was leading them through some breathing exercises and just like Kane and Carson, I love him. Because he is so much kookier than you’d expect from a challenge beast. We then learnt that he has a four month old at home and ugh, my basement is flooded. Jaime meanwhile was living for their vibe and so grateful to have landed on Soka, though knew she was clearly on the bottom. As such, she went off with Matt for a wander through the jungle, chatting away, despite Jaime being frustrated by how slowly he is playing the game. She then approached Frannie to let her know she can not read him, with Frannie thrilled she clearly hasn’t figured out how close they are, meaning she can get a read on things and protect him. Given they are clearly falling in love.

Things were still tense over at Tika with Yam Yam asking Josh to stop being angry with him so they could have a fun day. And while he said they could, he kept giving Yam Yam the bitch face – his words – and that annoyed him. But bless, he kept trying. Josh meanwhile was upset because he felt like Carolyn and Yam Yam reuniting may be inevitable and as such, needed to protect himself. He lied to Yam Yam about having a second idol, showing him the note from his last idol to get it over the line. They then bonded over being gay, sharing their childhoods and coming out stories, and well, this is 100% the kind of thing that is more likely to save both of them. Josh meanwhile felt he was sitting pretty now, have bonded with each of them and just needing to decide who to target should they lose the next immunity challenge

Right on cue, the tribes reunited with Jeffrey for said challenge where they would be tethered together and race with a bucket of water over a series of obstacles to release a gate. And then two would solve a table maze, with the first two tribes immune and the loser going to tribal council. Oh, and once again, the victors would get to choose who goes on the next journey. Tika got out to an early lead – YAS – with Ratu nipping at their heels, while Soka fell behind. Everyone evened up at the gate however, so it came down to a race on the table maze with Soka whipping through it and landing their first ball with Ratu nipping on their heels. On their second ball, Soka dropped it, giving Ratu the lead as Tika continued to fall further behind. They raced to take out the win for the extra power with Ratu jagging it just ahead of Soka, while Tika would return to tribal council. Ratu then quickly locked in Brandon as the person from their tribe heading on the journey, with Danny going from Soka and Carolyn from Tika. 

Jeff then ominously called in medical to review Matthew’s injury, as he opened up about how he feels like he just can’t recover and the environment of the game isn’t helping. Probst then told him how strong he had been for his tribe, while Matthew was left to figure out what to do.

We checked in on Yam Yam and Josh back at camp where the latter spoke about wanting to hang on to his idol if he could, as the duo promised to work together. Yam Yam then talked smack about Carolyn, saying she is way more strategic than she appears, warning him that she needs to go ASAP. While Josh was just concerned about what Carolyn’s journey may mean for the game.

Speaking of the journey, the trio arrived at the island where they discovered that rather than an advantage they would instead be enjoying a feast at The Sanctuary to encourage them to talk about the season thus far. Carolyn meanwhile was thrilled to be smashing food, despite the fact she still has to contend with tribal council tonight. She opened up to the boys about Josh’s idol from the swap, inadvertently letting them know that Jaime and Carson also have one. Brandon and Danny then locked in an alliance post-merge, with Carolyn hilariously questioning whether they are including her in this, given they were literally talking as if she wasn’t even there. Though given it blessed us with some hilarious reaction shots from her and made her angry when they kept discounting her, it means we could be in for a Shonee-esque revenge arc. Which is always a good thing.

She ventured back to camp where the boys met her on the shore and quickly told them how much she doesn’t want to work with the bro-alliance, signing to Yam Yam that they need to work together as Josh is likely to go with them. And while he felt it was hilarious, he was glad to have his Carolyn back. She told both of them about the meat brigade which is forming, pointing out Josh was included in their plans and that she was told she would be in the alliance if she saved him. This spooked Josh, who pointed out that he has an idol so it isn’t even a question at this point – it is though – before Carolyn wisely asked to see it. And while Yam Yam assured her he had seen the note, when he whipped out the fake, Yam Yam immediately pointed out the beads actually came from treemail. While Carolyn realised it was literally the same note she read two days ago. Oh and then it came apart in Yam Yam’s hands, and he and Carolyn burst out laughing.

The boys spoke about the fact Carolyn may still have an advantage, while Josh pushed to get her out because he is scared she will rally a counter alliance to the bro alliance he isn’t even in. We then learnt a little about Josh’s life which frankly sounds quite horrific, given how many medical emergencies he has experienced and now I need them to protect our zaddy at all costs. Yam Yam meanwhile wasn’t sure who to trust, catching up with Carolyn who pledged her undying loyalty, knowing that the other options out there are frankly crumby. And while he wants to trust her again, he doesn’t really know he can trust either of them.

Before he had to make a decision, Jeffrey arrived on their shores to let them know that tribal council will not be going ahead due to Matthew having to leave the game because of his shoulder injury. And while it breaks my heart for our plant zaddy king, I am glad the Tika trio live to see another day. Since I now also love Josh and his apparent goal to be the US’ Simon, aka suffering from a case of severe bottomness.

I was a wee bit surprised to see Matthew arrive at Loser Lodge in broad daylight, though I put that aside to pull him in for a gentle hug and tell him how heartbroken I am to see his injury take him out of the game. It was so sad to see someone so excited to be in the game and then have that excitement ultimately become their undoing, particularly someone like Matthew who had already proven himself adept at the game. I assured him that like Bruce before him, I will demand to Jess that he gets a second shot, however the tragedy is that like Nina on HvV, he is now at a disadvantage since everyone will know just how good he is at the game. But I guess that’s what our strategy session was for, over some Mater Grinstot-Maylffles.

Sure, the name may not roll off the tongue as much as I would like, however I was in a rush to throw something together due to his surprise exit and wanted to gift him a perfect recipe. Which is exactly how I would describe tater tot waffles. They may just be throwing tots in a waffle iron, but the magical transformation as they cook is breathtaking. Crunch and glorious, they are equally as perfect with bacon and eggs or as the basis of a burger. Aka, they can do no wrong.

Enjoy!

Mater Grinstot-Maylffles
Serves: 2 queer icons, with long hair and a passion for flannel.

Ingredients
500g tater tots (or Potato Jems, as they are known in Australia)

Method
If you’re using store bought gems, allow them to defrost completely otherwise allow the gems to cool if you’ve made them from scratch.

When you’re ready to go, line the games within a waffle iron, close it and place over a medium heat to cook for about five minutes, or until crispy. Flip the iron and repeat for a further few minutes to crisp. Transfer to a plate and repeat the process until done.

That’s it. Well, other than devouring, of course.


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Liz Parciuttov & Asparagus Pizza

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Main, Pizza, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor 24 castaways arrived on the beaches of Samoa divided into Heroes or Villains depending on either how they play the game – for our 11 returnees – or how they intended to, for our newbies. Or their profession, in the case of our journos and real estate agents. As quickly as she came back for her redemption, poor Jackie was medevaced. She was followed by a string of newbies as Anjali, Michael, Mimi, Rogue and Sarah soon followed. George then set his sights on his nemesis Simon, but after a surprise individual immunity challenge we lived through the best tribal council of all time which cost Fraser his spot.

Iconic scream queen Sharni was next to go (back to Yabbie Creek, darl) before the swap (thankfully) cost Paige her spot in the game. We then suffered the tragedy of losing sweet Jordie before my dear friend and legit hero Benjamin Law was shown the door. Internal battles between the Spice Girls caused Stevie to be blindsided just ahead of the merge, before George’s instincts proved correct as Flick turned on them while Matt stayed loyal, allowing the OG Villains to take control and boot David from the game.

For her deception, Flick became Australia’s first ever Queen of the Jury before a lack of mateship sent Sam out. George then broke our hearts by turning on Shonee before the Villains turned their attention back to eliminating Heroes in the form of Shaun and Hayley. George and Simon’s feud finally came to a head with the King booting sweet, power-bottom Simon before Nina became the first Twine to join the jury.

The final four were gagged by Jonathan when he announced that they would be eliminating a juror with Matt and Gerry pushing to get rid of Shonee, given she was 100% in Liz’s corner. Which should have been a warning to George that he would not be making it to the final tribal council again, with the final three newbies banding together to send him to the ALL RETURNEE jury. At the final tribal council Liz well and truly rose to the occasion, laying out a comprehensive, nearly watertight argument why she deserved the win. Before the jury awarded her unanimously, making her our second Olympian to take out the crown. I mean, if presenting to the jury was an Olympic sport, she would come out on top while Sharn, famed barrister and two-time runner-up  wouldn’t even qualify. 

While the edit may not have shoved it down our throats, there is a very clear reason why Liz was not only the final woman and villain standing, but our newly minted Sole Survivor. And that is because she not only played a hell of a social game but also knew when to make the right moves. It may not have been the most exciting television watching the newbies ride it out with George at the end, however it made the most sense to use him as a shield as he will always be easy to eliminate at the end (another reason Sandra should actually always make it to the end, but people get too excited) as their best shot was with each other.

Despite Matt opting to eliminate Shonee from the jury for being a locked in Liz vote, he clearly underestimated the bonds she made and how well she would be able to articulate her game. Which is why he landed in second and she joins our iconic pantheon of winners. As the fireworks settled, I pulled her in for a massive hug – did you know I was a champion pole vaulter and we became friends on the circuit? – and thanked her for keeping us fed this season. More important than winning the title, she also managed to put an end to the long running Survivor curse and that is worth celebrating, with a glorious Liz Parciuttov & Asparagus Pizza.

This pizza is so delicious, it is hardly a surprise it had the power to end the curse. The earthiness of the asparagus works perfectly with the salty tang of the prosciutto and the creamy ricotta to deliver a pizza fit for the newest queen.

Enjoy!

Liz Parciuttov & Asparagus Pizza
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
⅔ cup ricotta
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
1 bunch of asparagus, trimmed and cut into lengths
1 lemon, zested
2 tbsp chives, thinly sliced
½ cup parmesan cheese, grated
6 slices of prosciutto, roughly chopped

Method
Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 180°C.

Spread a thin layer of ricotta over the bases, followed by a sprinkle of salt and a good whack of pepper. Add the asparagus, lemon zest, chives and parmesan, before topping with the prosciutto. Transfer to the oven and bake for 10-15 minutes, or until golden and crisp.

Serve and devour triumphantly, knowing you’re the one person great enough to break an epic(ish) curse.


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Matt Borscharp

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Main, Soup, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor 13 newbies were dumped on the islands of Samoa ready to do battle with 11 returnees to prove once and for all whether heroes or villains do it better. Nearly instantly Queen Jackie was violently dumped off a barrel in the first challenge, breaking her collarbone and ultimately medevaced from the game. Despite a warning at tribal council that George – who was also injured in the first challenge – may not return, they opted to continue with the vote and sent his only ally, the iconic Anjali Rao out of the game.

George ultimately did return however, with Shonee quickly pulling him into an alliance with her given she knew that as the only three time player on the beach, she needed another threat around as a buffer. Oh and she also found this season’s island bestie in Liz, and just like that Shiz was born. After losing yet another immunity challenge, Michael was felled for trying to target George. Stevie meanwhile was out for revenge against Shonee for blindsiding him on their first season, however when he was the target at the next tribal council, she redeemed herself in his eyes with a last minute flip to send Mimi out of the game.

Meanwhile over at the Heroes despite being the biggest threat as the sole winner in the cast, Hayley was feeling confident enough to throw the immunity challenge to get rid of Rogue because she was rude and abrasive. After losing the next immunity challenge, the Heroes were gagged to discover they’d be sending a mole over to the Villains tribe however when Sam said they were sending someone expendable, Gerry was less of a mole and more of a powerful tool for the Villains post swap. The Villains returned to their losing streak, running over the swing vote in Sarah before Fraser got caught in the crossfire of George and Simon’s feud in the most epic tribal council of all time.

When the Heroes returned to tribal council my love Benjamin idol-ed Queen Sharni out of the game before the swap arrived and kicked things into overdrive. Despite being outnumbered at the new Heroes, George and Shonee took control and blindsided Paige – ugh, hunting is yuck – before Jordie was felled back at the Villains despite having Shonee’s idol in his pocket. The Heroes then sent Benjamin from the game before Liz was able to mutiny to reunite Shiz before a feud between George and the girls led to Stevie tragically being booted. After the merge, the OG Villains and an assortment of friends took control, sending David from the game before Flick became our first Queen of the Jury. She was followed by her bestie Sam before queen, icon, legend Shonee was felled by George before she could get him, due to her being closer to Liz. Shaun and Hayley were the next Heroes to go, before George finally got to take out Simon and then opting to stick with the boys and take out Nina.

Jonathan threw in one final twist however with the tribe required to boot a juror with Matt and Gerry getting their way and sending Shonee out of the game due to her being a guaranteed vote for Liz. Which really should have been a warning to George that his goose was finally cooked, as they banded together with Liz to send him out of the game as our fourth place robbed goddess of the season.

At the final tribal council, Liz absolutely dominated her opponents and took ownership of the move Matt had pinned his entire argument on – getting rid of George – neutralising him in the eyes of the jury, and allowing our newest queen to take out the title unanimously, leaving Matt to finish as the co-runner-up with Gerry. As I said with Gerry, despite being shut out, Matt played a solid game and arguably did all he could to win as one of the few newbies left by the jury phase. Since George was clearly taking them to the end for an easy win. But alas, they cut him loose at the end (which was also Matt’s move, despite not having revenge attached) making Matt a lovely runner-up, with a hearty Matt Borscharp reward.

When I was little, the entire concept of borscht freaked me out, despite my passion for beetroot. I assume it had something to do with the fact I couldn’t figure out how to make cheese work with it, but that is a conversation for another time. As an adult, I finally tried borscht and fell in love with its rich, earthy perfection and the soup quickly found its place in my permanent rotation.

Enjoy!

Matt Borscharp
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
¼ cup olive oil
4 beetroot, peeled and grated
2 celery stalks, sliced
1 onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
¼ cup tomato paste
8 cups chicken stock
2 cups water
3 potatoes, peeled and sliced
2 carrots, peeled and sliced
400g can cannellini beans, rinsed
2 bay leaves
2 tbsp champagne vinegar
3 tbsp dill, finely chopped
kosher salt and ground pepper, to taste
sour cream, for dolloping

Method
Place a large stockpot over medium heat and add a couple of tablespoons of olive oil. Once hot, add the grated beetroot, celery, onion and garlic, and cook for 10 minutes, stirring infrequently, until they are soft and juicy. 

Add the tomato paste and cook for a minute or so, before stirring in chicken stock and water, followed by the potatoes and carrots. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for 10-15 minutes or until cooked through. Add the beans bay leaves, vinegar and dill with a good whack of salt and pepper, and simmer for another five minutes or until cooked through. 

Serve with a dollop of sour cream and devour, like a boss.


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Beef Bourgeorge Mladenov

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Main, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor after finally vanquishing sweet Simon, the tribe battled it out for a guaranteed spot in the final four, with Liz taking out immunity. And promptly rallying Nina and George to work with her to get rid of Matt, given he was her biggest threat. Sadly for her, George was getting nervous about rehashing his mistakes from the previous season, so didn’t want to blindside Gerry in the process of getting rid of Matt. This put him well and truly in the middle of the two duos, making him, once again, all powerful. Sadly for the girls, Nina gave a stellar tribal council performance, which sadly proved that she was the bigger threat – and confirmed she will vote for the best game – scaring George into flipping and taking her out with the boys. Though again, it also gave us our first Twine on the jury.

Back at camp George congratulated everyone on making it to the top four while Liz death stared at him, irate that he had ruined her plan once again and made her path to the final two that much more difficult. Later that night George dropped by to apologise to Liz who straight up cussed him out for signing her death warrant while he was sitting pretty with the boys. George however wasn’t bothered that she was salty given he was essentially choosing which final three he wanted to go with and he still technically has options, given she either votes with him at the next tribal council if he wants to take a shot, or she gets voted out.

The next day Liz was still super nervous, unsure how she was going to navigate the remaining days in the game. And I assume a little bit angry at herself for letting George blindside her again with Nina, just like he did our lord and saviour Shonee Bowtell. Once again though, she knew she had to suck up her feelings and caught up with him in the shelter, with George explaining Nina speaking so well at tribal is what made him change his mind. Liz pretended she was all good, though didn’t bother telling him about what Nina said to her on her way out the door. George then told us he just couldn’t break Gerry’s trust once more, whereas he knew it would be easier to win Liz back. Though he assured her that if Matt wins the next immunity, he will join her in finally getting rid of Gerry.

George next caught up with the boys, reminding them how hard they have worked to avoid the jury, with George telling us how given the jury is made up of only returning players, should he make it to the end, he will be rewarded for dominating the game. Gerry and Matt meanwhile were talking about the path ahead, both genuinely wanting to go to the final three with George and pledging their undying loyalty, before confirming what we have long suspected and that they assume it is a final two, at which point they are looking to cut him just before final tribal council as their big move.

While poor Liz just knew that she was completely screwed should she not win immunity.

Right on cue the final four met Jonathan for the latest immunity challenge. Or so they thought! Instead, it was a challenge for an extra vote at tonight’s tribal council, meaning there is definitely going to be a twist, because they won’t leave George without the chance of immunity at the final four. But anyway, back to the challenge as this one is a biggy! They would race to swim to shore and collect balls, land them in a shoot, crawl under a net and then solve a puzzle before climbing stairs and landing sandbags on five platforms. Matt took out an early lead with Liz nipping at his heels before George and Gerry somehow overtook her. That being said, the other three were kind of irrelevant as Matt continued to power ahead, solving his puzzle as Gerry arrived at the table, while George and Liz desperately tried to close the gap. Matt then got to work tossing his sacks, landing one after the other before anyone else even joined him, promptly taking out the extra vote.

After handing over said vote, Jonathan announced that tonight they will not be voting someone out of the tribe. (Side note: duh). Instead it is the return of the infamous juror removal twist and oh shit, I feel sick because Shonee has been mentioned multiple times already this episode and given Matt and Gerry now have three votes and they know she isn’t voting for them, she is toast. Oh and then JLP confirmed it is a final three, with final immunity coming up tomorrow before the final person will be voted out and replace the juror they eliminate tonight.

Back at camp the final four celebrated making it to the final immunity challenge before popping on some rice ahead of a vastly different kind of scramble. For some reason George started to talk to Matt about the fact that if you have a guaranteed vote, you’re that much closer to winning now that only 7 people will be voting for 3 people. George then went to Liz, both agreeing that getting rid of Simon is the best idea for them, given he is least likely to vote for them. The bad thing being that should be very clear to both Gerry and Matt, so therefore they should keep him. 

George and Liz joined the other two to try and sell it as revenge for Simon calling everyone pawns. Sadly for them, Matt gave them a non-committal response while Gerry suggested Nina would vote for Liz for being a female, rather than looking at the game. Liz rightly was offended by that with him explaining he just meant that they were closer and as such, she is way more likely to be swayed by her. Matt then shared with us that his extra vote puts even more pressure on him, given it could be the decision between winning and losing. Matt pulled George aside and told him he is open to both Nina and Simon, however feels like if Liz is sitting at final tribal council – because his and Gerry’s plan to go to three with the King has totally changed now – Shonee is a guaranteed vote for her and as such, she makes the most sense. George tried to point out Simon doesn’t deserve a vote, though stupidly didn’t try to explain that if he and Liz both make it to the end, they split Shonee and as such, make it a tiny bit easier for him to squeak out a win. I mean sure, it isn’t a great pitch, but it is literally the only one we’ve got to keep Shonee vibing on the jury.

Matt then pulled Gerry aside to float his horrible, no good plan. He told Gerry it is very clear they are being played by George with the Simon vote, given he is a guaranteed vote for one of them. Matt continued, explaining that since it is now a final three, they need to adjust their plans and get rid of George at the next vote. And therefore if they go to the final three with Liz, they need to get rid of the only guaranteed vote for her, in Shonee. George filled Liz in on the drama, with Liz telling him to get down to the shore and break it up as they can’t lose Shonee. With Matt expertly playing derpy and telling him they have realised getting rid of Simon makes the most sense as he arrived. Gerry and Matt then spoke about trying to play their cards close to their chest at tribal council so as not to spook anyone, while trying to weigh up who is the better option of going to the final three given everyone loves Liz while George has played the best game. Before Gerry wisely pointed out that George also has a lot of hate against him from the jury and as such, maybe he isn’t a guaranteed winner.

While Gerry just felt like tonight was a chance for him to draw a line in the sand by either going with Matt to eliminate Shonee, or sticking with George to take out Simon.

At tribal council Jonathan quickly caught the jury up on what would be happening tonight, explaining that one of them will be leaving tonight, which obviously pissed all of them off. Particularly Shonee, who appeared to know the writing was on the wall. George spoke about this being the most important tribal council he has ever attended since the winner will only need to secure three or four votes to win. Matt opened up about being the one with the extra vote tonight, and how while he has power, he still needs one other person to agree with who should go out. Gerry admitted two names were on the table pack at camp and that both are warranted to go out. George meanwhile spoke about how fierce debate was back at camp and as such, suggested things may still be up in the air, as Liz interjected and pointed out that she had actually thought they were on the same page.

George whispered to Gerry to see who he was thinking about voting out, with George reiterating he will be taking out Simon as Gerry gave him nothing. Matt spoke about how they need to make a choice between getting rid of a guaranteed vote for someone else or just someone they think will be bitter. As Gerry and George continued to whisper, Gerry told him he had a bad feeling about all the girls on the jury being locked in behind Liz before George pointed out that since she won’t be at the final tribal council, it shouldn’t matter. But you could kind of tell he realised he is definitely going out in fourth and maybe should have kept Nina. Matt and Liz then got in on the whispering, with Liz asking if we’re all losing Shonee before Matt announced he is confused, but ready to vote nonetheless. With that the tribe voted and Gerry finally swayed from George, though tragically it broke the hearts of the nation in the process, as he, Matt and even George removed Shonee from the jury. Which was 100% the correct move for two of them, but it doesn’t make me hate it any less.

As she just cruised on out of there and even further into our hearts.

The next day the final four were jubilant to officially be the last ones standing, with Gerry sharing how at the start he was ready to ride it out with the Heroes until they sent him to the Villains without any concern, leading to the second best revenge arc behind Queen Shon’s in All Stars. But just ahead of Stevie’s in this season, given it went nowhere. George meanwhile was just shocked to still be in the game given he came in with such an epic target. And now he just needs to survive one more tribal council to take out his deserved victory. His words. Matt on the other hand was shocked to have made it there, though knew that without immunity everything could come crumbling down. In the form of Liz, who knows she is out next without immunity, though you know she is ready to fight and given she is an Olympian, you know she has the resolve.

After a brief glimpse of Kristie, Lee, Jericho and Peter in their respective final challenges, the newest final four arrived at a cliff face to discover this year’s final immunity challenge. Which will feature them all standing on a narrow perch holding a handle above their head, while JLP will turn a crank pushing blunt spearheads into their backs to make things as uncomfortable as possible. But before that, he delivered a little bit of love to help motivate them. First up was iconic cooking queen Cara for George, followed by Liz’s boyfriend Daniel, Gerry’s fiance Pam and Matt’s pregnant wife Kirsty and oh lord, I’m crying, they’re crying, everyone’s crying.

The visitors were promptly kicked off to a bench to watch their loved ones be tortured as they speculated how long they would be up in the devices. After JLP gave the crank a spin, the boys all complained as Liz suggested it was nothing and begged JLP to give it another crank. Which you know he did! Instantly the boys started to feel the pain while the two-time Olympian laughed with glee. Mother nature then joined in the fun, unleashing a deluge of rain as they fought for an hour before JLP whipped out his crank to further dig the spikes into their backs. Which was all it took to take out Gerry, as he stepped off the perch while his competitors sweetly praised him for doing so well. After two hours and an additional crank, George suggested nobody wanted the win more than him with Liz calmly telling him he is wrong and to just wait and see. We got to three hours before Jonathan gave the spears another crank which saw George start to struggle, badly, as he begged Matt to hold on, before ultimately dropping out. Leaving Liz to battle Matt for final immunity. After four hours Liz started to get the shakes as Daniel willed her on before she requested JLP dish out one final crank.

As the loved ones watched on with baited breath, George swapped seats and started chatting to Gerry, telling him that all they need to do is stick together at the next vote and there is a way forward for them. Liz continued to breathe through the pain before Matt’s hand slipped off, handing Liz final immunity. And ideally, crowning her our winner.

Back at camp George was very nervous about the newbies banding together to take him out, though was confident in his ability to plot and scheme. Even in such a shitty predicament. Knowing she would have been out of the game if she didn’t take out immunity, Liz was well and truly feeling her oats and ready to finally get her revenge on George and send him out of the game. Gerry meanwhile congratulated everyone on fighting so hard in the challenge, talking about how humbled he was by their performance. He then took it one step further, telling everyone that he didn’t deserve to go to tribal council and begged them all to vote him out. Which George obviously jumped at, promising to do his wishes before getting to work wooing Matt and Liz.

George first pulled Matt aside to tell him how important it would be for them to just vote out Gerry and guarantee their place in the final three. And while he agreed to George’s face, he knew he couldn’t do it to Gerry and instead told him he would actually be voting for George and if he wanted to avoid making fire, he should vote out George too. Speaking of George, he pulled Liz aside to try his best, with Liz too pretending to be all in on the Gerry vote, though obviously, that would not be happening. Because revenge. Though George was confident Liz would have his back and as such, was ready to march to the end and take out victory.

At tribal council the jury were absolutely delighted to see that Liz had immunity – I wish Shon was here to see this – before she opened up about her own pride to have come out on top after such an epic, intense challenge. Particularly with her boyfriend there. George immediately cut her off to talk about how driven Liz is and how proud of her he is, while Liz spoke about the fact she was so driven because she knew she had literally no other option. Matt meanwhile was gutted to be the one coming in second, talking about how now they need to be smart about who they send out of the game. Gerry on the other hand spoke about how hard it would be to vote for either Matt or George. With that the tribe voted and despite Gerry’s plea the newbies banded together to take out George, as Liz wisely whispered in his ear that she finally got him.

As George arrived at the Jury Villa, I pulled him in for a massive hug and praised him on such a dominating performance. While he was disappointed to be eliminated so close to the end, he admitted he was expecting his massive target to take him out early so was thrilled he was once again able to find his feet and dominate. I then did a quick detour and yelled at him for turning on Shonee too soon and robbing us gays of our mother. I mean, I know she was planning to turn on him at the next vote, but given siding with the newbies landed him on jury, I would have preferred to see a wee more exciting end game by having her stick around a little longer.

While I would argue that come the merge, George got lucky that people knew he would be an easy vote at the endgame, there is no denying that he once again proved himself to be a master strategist. And that alone deems him worthy of going out as the fourth place robbed goddess of the season and the piping hot Beef Bourgeorge Mladenov prize that goes along with it.

Boeuf bourguignon is one of those dishes that has the power to convert even the most vehement beef naysayers of its delight. The meat melts in your mouth as the sweet, rich sauce washes over your tongue and fills you with glee.

Enjoy!

Beef Bourgeorge Mladenov
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
200g bacon, diced
1.5kg beef brisket, trimmed and cut into a large dice
1 carrot, thickly sliced
1 onion, diced
10 cloves garlic, minced
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
2 tbsp flour
12 French shallots, peeled
3 cups red wine
2 cups beef stock
2 tbsp tomato paste
1 tsp fresh thyme, finely chopped
2 tbsp fresh parsley, finely chopped
2 bay leaves
2 tbsp butter
500g small mushrooms, quartered

Method
Pop the oil in a large dutch oven and sauté the bacon over medium heat for a few minutes, or until crispy and browned. Transfer with a slotted spoon to a bowl and set aside. In batches, brown the beef on all sides in the glorious bacon fat before using the spoon to transfer to the bacon dish. Finally, add the carrots and onions to the pan and cook for a few minutes before adding 6 of the garlic cloves and cooking for a minute, or until fragrant. Drain off the fat, leaving a tablespoon or two, before returning the beef and bacon to the pot. Stir in the flour with a good whack of salt and pepper, and cook for about five minutes, or until browned. Add the shallots, wine and stock, the latter to just cover the meat, before stirring in the paste and herbs. Bring to the boil, reduce to low and cover before simmering for a few hours.

While the beef is rollicking, heat the butter in a large saucepan until foaming before adding the remaining garlic and cooking for a minute or so, or until fragrant. Add the mushrooms and cook, stirring occasionally to coat, for about five minutes, or until browned and plump. Season with salt and pepper, before transferring to a plate.

Remove the bay leaves from the casserole, before stirring in the mushrooms and skimming off any of the excess fat that rises to the surface as it cooks until it reduces to a glossy liquid, enough to coat a spoon. Adjust seasoning before serving with a gloriously buttery mash and devouring, like a king.


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Biryanina Twine

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Main, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Gerry was feeling betrayed after landing in isolation after George and Liz switched their votes from Simon, leaving him plenty of time to swap stories with Nina about their relevant final three deals with George. At the immunity challenge for four, Matt just snatched victory ahead of sweet Simon, who felt like his time would surely now be up. Back at camp George was ready to repeat the previous tribal and split the vote between Simon and Nina. Nina meanwhile was not interested in going down without a fight, trying to woo Matt and Gerry to her side to take out the king with Simon. Sadly though it was clear it didn’t work at tribal council as Gerry spoke George had been mentoring him before it finished on a tie between Nina and Simon, with our sweet, iconic bottom finally exiting the game.

The next day the final five were delighted to find a little breakfast treat with the warning that they will need all the energy they can to make it to the end of the game. While everyone smashed muffins and coffee, George appeared to be most excited by the bag of sugar. Matt meanwhile was all jacked up on caffeine and sugar, buzzing and feeling like he can finally think again. And by think, run around the camp screaming and belly flopping into the ocean. The fivesome then had a lovely moment together, bonding in the shallows and celebrating how far they have come. George and Gerry caught up privately, locking in going to the final three with Matt, while George spoke about being grateful to have found a lifelong friend in Gerry. But then ominously pointed out he would be happy to finish in fourth. Or third, or second. Meaning it is pretty clear Nina is next, right?

That afternoon the boys caught up to lock in their vote against Nina, as she hung in the hammock while Liz wandered around camp. She had finally realised that George’s relationship with the boys was becoming a massive threat to her game after the last tribal council, identifying Matt as her biggest physical threat and George as the most likely to win. Which again came infuriatingly too late. Trying to restore the jacuzzi alliance, Liz instead caught up with Nina by the shore and locked in the plan to vote out Matt should he not win immunity. Knowing that if she appeared positive it could prove a spoiler, Nina pretended to be disappointed as she caught up with her fellow former Heroes, leaving Liz to catch up with George and lock in the vote against Matt. You know, if he doesn’t win immunity.

Meaning it is very, very obvious that Matt is winning immunity.

The tribe met Jonathan by the beach for the final five immunity challenge where they would have to race to drop a ball in a shoot, race to collect it at the other end of a disc before walking over obstacles and collecting two more. Before then navigating them up an upright maze and into a hole, with the first to land them all taking out immunity. Nina and Liz took an early lead, with Liz powering ahead as Matt overtook Nina and worked to close the gap. While George and Gerry were stuck collecting their balls, with the former cursing it as a stupid challenge. Liz had a massive head start as she got to work on the maze before dropping, leaving enough time for Matt to join her. He too struggled, allowing Nina to join them followed by George as Gerry was still stuck on the first obstacle. Eventually Liz landed her first ball, followed closely by Nina. As George tried some wild tricks, Liz landed her second ball, making me realise how very wrong I was about Matt. As George magician-ed the ball to the top, Gerry joined the fray before Nina dropped her second ball as Liz powered through, landed her third and jagged herself immunity. Like a damn queen.

Back at camp the tribe quickly congratulated Liz on her victory before everyone scattered to work through plans for the upcoming tribal council. She sat by herself in the hammock, talking through all the scenarios by herself, knowing that trusting in Liz is kinda her last option and as such, she needs to be solid. Matt meanwhile checked in with George to see if he wanted to talk, with George assuring him that the only option is Nina tonight and as such, they need to load their votes on her and not worry. While Matt worried about Liz turning on them, George assured her she had no other options. Just as she and Nina caught up by the well to lock in their votes against Matt, while she worried about George’s growing closeness with Gerry. Liz caught up with George to tell him that voting out Matt is literally the only correct option moving forward, as George panicked about upsetting Gerry. Leading to Liz telling him to stop being soft and letting Gerry play into his emotions, and instead get cutthroat and play to win.

Which is energy I would have loved at any of the last four tribal councils.

Sadly for Liz, her pep talk actually triggered George, reminding him that he voted out his closest ally in fourth in his first season and that being cutthroat is what led to his loss. Which I would argue wasn’t the case, but it definitely didn’t help. Though he knew that by going to the final three with Matt and Gerry, he was essentially handing himself third. As such, he approached Nina to affirm that he would reignite the jacuzzi alliance. Matt then dropped by Nina, asking how she was feeling as Nina outlined that she, Liz and George were targeting Matt and while he knew she was trying anything to survive, he was very nervous. He then approached George and Liz to tell them what Nina said, leading to them vehemently denying it and ugh, I feel like it may be the thing that causes them to just vote her out.

Matt then approached Gerry to loop him in, with Gerry calmly telling him George knows he is playing for third with them, though he was happy to finish there. As Liz and George continued to bicker in the shelter, Liz pointed out he needs to stop being emotional and to just get rid of Matt. George then caught up with Nina, with her expertly telling him that she is voting Matt because that is the only plan anyone has given her and if he has a different one, she is willing to hear it. Sadly for her, as they spoke it became more and more clear that George will continue to be a swing vote until the very last moment.

At tribal council Nina spoke about how there is a high likelihood that she will be going home given she is literally the only person left from outside of the major alliance. While she has appealed to people to make a move, she feels like everyone is just holding on to their ticket to the finale and not letting go. Liz praised her for never giving up and always trying to find a way to survive, before talk turned to Matt’s challenge prowess, with George admitting it is a concern given he only makes it to the end if someone takes him. Liz praised him as her biggest challenge competitor, leading to Matt pointing out that Liz is also a huge physical threat, seemingly not realising she is immune so it literally doesn’t matter at this point.

George spoke to the fact he lost Brains Vs Brawn due to only focusing on strategy and not listening to his heart, though he intended to be guided by it this time to make it to the end. He then laid all ownership for building the minority alliance as Shonee looked on, enraged. Gerry tried to pretend their alliance had not had a leader with Jonathan hilariously pointing out that it completely contradicts what George just said. Gerry tried to double down, talking about everyone having a different moment to make the decisions, leading to an epic eye roll from Nina. She then spoke about how her perception is completely different and that is what matters when the power switches to the jury, as to her, Gerry has done nothing but do what he was told and tend to the fire. Essentially.

With that the tribe voted and two votes piled up on Matt and Nina before George proved to listen to his heart as Nina was tragically eliminated from the game. Meaning voting out a close ally cost him a win, as will likely keeping one. As Nina urged Liz to just not let George make it to the final tribal council.

As Nina arrived at the Jury Villa I congratulated her on becoming the first ever Twine to serve on a jury, which is literally all we’ve ever wanted from Sandra given she would give us the most iconic, sassy questions known to man. But that is all I said about her mama, as I pulled her in for a hug and praised her for playing such a strong game. While she and the Heroes may have botched it against Shonee and George – note who was put up front, for a reason – the fact that she managed to be the last one standing proves her impeccable skill at winning people over, gathering the right intel and making sure there was always someone that was a more pressing boot. So while I’m heartbroken we didn’t get the Twine Heroes Vs. Villains bookend we wanted, I am glad I could cheer her up with a Biryanina Twine.

This Indian classic – biryani – is one of those great dishes that are just as tasty as they are simple to make, meaning it quickly finds a permanent place in your rotation. Spicy and soothing, it is the perfect way to wash away the stress of the day. Or celebrate a win (or fifth place, in this case).

Enjoy!

Biryanina Twine
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
1 cup Greek yoghurt
¼ cup korma curry paste
600g chicken breasts, diced
2 tsp olive oil
1 onion, sliced
1 tbsp minced ginger
5 garlic cloves, minced
800g tin diced tomatoes
1 cinnamon stick
2 bay leaves
1 ½ cups basmati rice
1 ½ cups chicken stock
a handful of coriander leaves, roughly chopped, plus extra to serve

Method
Combine the yoghurt and korma paste in a bowl and stir through the chicken to coat. Cover with cling and pop in the fridge to marinate for a couple of hours.

Once the chicken is well and truly marinated, heat the oil in a large frying pan over medium heat and cook the onion for 5 minutes or until soft and golden. Add the ginger and garlic, and cook stirring for a couple of minutes before stirring in the tomatoes, cinnamon and bay, cooking for a few minutes.

Stir in the chicken and rice, followed by the stock. Bring to a boil before reducing heat to low and simmer, covered, for 20 minutes or so, or until the liquid is absorbed and rice, soft and tender. Stir through the coriander and remove from the heat. Before serving, with an extra sprinkle of coriander or a dollop of yoghurt and devouring. Greedily.


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