Shaoxing Wine

Vegaden Dumplaing

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Ray found himself an epic (dis)advantage at the auction, thinking he was just getting to smash some popcorn. Once again there was chaos amongst all the factions, with nobody really sure they could trust anyone. At the immunity challenge Aileen was a matter of centimetres away from winning, before she drop and gave Kitty the time to overtake and win. Back at camp Kirby wanted to work with Feras, but felt like getting rid of his right hand, Aileen, was the only way to get it done. As such, she approached the Titans to float the idea of weakening a rival pair. Clearly thinking Ri’s continued fails in the voting booth would make them look like less of a duo and more like Ri and her babysitter. At tribal council, despite some misdirects, the blindside came together and Aileen was sent home, thankfully becoming the Queen of the Jury.

The next day the tribe were slowly waking up, solemn and sleepy. Except for Kirby, who was delighted by the fact that everything came together. Ray obviously wasn’t happy to lose an ally, so confronted Kirby about why Aileen was the target, with her calmly assuring him it was because she just wants to work with Feras and sadly Aileen was never going to let that happen. The fact she and Feras were buddying up got people noticing, as Caroline pointed out to Alex that maybe he isn’t as close to some people as he thought. And as such, he started to question his position in the game. Kitty joined them, as Ri, Kirby, Jaden and Feras went to catch up at the well to lock in a final four deal, agreeing that Ray would be a great fifth, with Alex a lovely sixth. Well, if he can learn to trust Kirby. Feras then suggested they all load their votes on Val at the next tribal council, this time to weaken Mark. 

Because if there is one thing this season is going to give, it is taking out the allies rather than the threats.

While the new majority kikied, Caroline, Kitty and Alex went to chat with Valeria and Mark to lock in a potential new alliance, to at least give them a fighting chance. Everyone came together back at the shelter where Kitty was absolutely panicking at camp, knowing they are in a pickle and as such, she needs to put her feelings aside. After getting Caroline to agree that they will still be friends after the game, Kitty caught up with Kirby to talk about joining the new, new majority to blindside her closest ally in the game.

The tribe caught up with JLP for the immunity challenge where they would each have to hang upside down on a rope over the water, moving down intervals over time until only one remained. After seconds, Ray and Jaden dropped out. A minute or two more passed before Feras and Mark fell. Everyone else made it to the next length of rope which cost Caroline, followed by Kirby, Val and Kitty, leaving Alex and Rianna fighting for immunity. After 30 minutes, JLP forced them to go down to a single hand and while they were both on the edge multiple times, they managed to hold on until the one hour mark, where JLP made them go back up a section and hang on with a single hand. Which was all it took to get a result as Alex finally dropped, handing Ri immunity. Once again making it look like those bandages on her hands are rather helpful.

Back at camp the tribe quickly got to scrambling as each faction split off. First, Mark, Alex, Kitty, Caroline and Val disappeared, leaving the others to lock in their plan to get rid of Val, as Kirby straight up suggested that Alex was dead to her. No doubt because Kitty had pledged her loyalty to them. Over at the other crew, Mark was super nervous and while Val wanted to target Feras, Alex assured them that he definitely has an idol, so instead suggested they vote for Jaden. Kitty took that information back to Ri, who assured her that she and Kirby will have her back tomorrow. As Ri looped in Kirby, Jaden stumbled upon them to see what was happening before he was gagged to learn that he is now a target. 

He caught up with Caroline at the fire as she poured coconut in the rice he was cooking and then when he asked her to remove it, she called him lord Jaden. Which is so rich, given she was rude about the rice early in the game and then sleeping near Mark. So yeah, a little hypocritical. Jaden, bless, called her out for being rude, particularly when she was off strategizing while he was cooking. And while it explained his anger, she didn’t seem to buy that as the reason for his frustration. So ran to Kitty and suggested that someone had leaked the plan, going so far as to ask if she had spoken to Kirby. She denied it, but admitted she spoke to Ri. Knowing she is a shit liar, she told Caroline that she is so confused and honestly wouldn’t be shocked if she received the votes and sadly for Caroline, she bought it.

Alex finally approached Feras and Ray to see what they were thinking, admitting that he felt like they had abandoned him and as such, he was hurting. Feras, bless, felt frustrated by the conversation, so straight up walked off. Straight over to Kirby, as she suggested they just get rid of Alex tonight and do Val tomorrow instead. With him wisely opting to stick with the current plan. Back with Ray, Alex was asking if he felt secure as Ray admitted he feels like he is definitely safe with this plan. Though admitted to us that he knows he has been dragged and as such, needs to make a move, ideally with his advantage. Ray wisely asked Alex if he could vote with them without voting for Feras, which is very, very interesting. Particularly given Alex took it straight back to Mark and Valeria.

At tribal council Aileen was vibing as the Queen of the Jury before Kirby spoke about how fluid the gameplay has been all season, with everyone willing to make the most of any and all opportunities. Alex joked about flip-flopping through the tribe, with Valeria admitting it is true, but only because they are desperate to make it through, He agreed that he has had to cut ties multiple times to find a path forward, before Kirby called herself a flexible player, while saying Alex is a floater and suggested that is why she is the better player. Alex then asked what that makes Feras, with him saying he is rather immovable, though he felt he was flexible, in that he doesn’t hold a grudge. Mark suggested that sticking in your rut makes you naive to the game, before he started whispering to Ray that if he wanted to make a move, he should vote for Jaden. As Alex asked him who he should play the idol for, King Ray tragically told the truth, and suggested he play it for Valeria.

They continued to talk through plans with Kirby mouthing to Feras that she thinks Ray told them that Valeria was the target and as such, flipped the vote over to Alex. With that the tribe voted, Alex played his idol for Valeria, as the votes piled up between Jaden and Alex before Jaden was blindsided from the game as Raymond flipped to the Titans and Ri, obviously, voted incorrectly for Valeria. Because if there is one thing Ri is going to do, it is Ri the situation. As Jaden arrived at the Jury Villa, I pulled him in for a massive hug and thanked him for being such a bright light this season. While he didn’t exactly focus on the game, he was entertaining and joyful, and sometimes that is all you need to be rewarded with a piping hot batch of Vegaden Dumplaing.

Gyoza are literally never far from my mind, and these are part of the reason. Warming and altogether light and hearty, they are the perfect little parcel to wash away your disappointment.

Enjoy!

Vegaden Dumplaing
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
3 tbsp vegetable oil
1 tbsp minced ginger
6 spring onions, sliced
4 garlic cloves, minced
2 cups shiitake mushrooms, roughly chopped
1 ½ cups cabbage
1 ½ cups carrot, grated
1 cup garlic chives, finely chopped
½ tsp white pepper
½ tsp chilli flakes
2 tsp sesame oil
3 tbsp Shaoxing wine
2 tbsp soy sauce
1 tsp raw caster sugar
salt, to taste
40 gow gee wrappers

Method
Heat the vegetable oil in a large wok over medium-high heat, and cook the ginger for 30 seconds, until fragrant. Add the spring onions and garlic, and stir-fry for a further minute. Add the mushrooms and cook for a few minutes, or until the released liquid has cooked off. Next, add the cabbage and carrot, cooking for a further couple of minutes until all the liquid has absorbed. Transfer to a large bowl to cool slightly.

Once it has chilled a little, add the chives, pepper, chilli, sesame oil, shaoxing wine, soy sauce, and sugar, and season with salt to taste.

To assemble, lay the wrappers on a bench and place a tablespoon of filling in the centre of each. Dip a finger in water and wet the edges before folding, pleating and mashing them closed – depending on skill level or care for the aesthetic. Repeat the process until they are all gone.

To cook, get a steamer going over high heat and cook the dumplings, 5-10 at a time depending on the size, for about 5-10 minutes, or until the wrapper is gorgeously soft and silky and the filling cooked. Repeat until all dumplings are done, replenishing the water as needed. 

Devour immediately with whatever sauce you fancy, ay!


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Viola Soup Jokudumplings

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor after burning his first idol because everyone knew about it, Feras found a second one hidden amongst the trees. Despite not handing the key off to any of the Titans, Mark grew tired of waiting and instead ripped the lid off the treasure chest and grabbed one for himself. As the saboteur, Kelli opted out of the immunity challenge she was meant to sabotage. Though given that also meant she wasn’t running interference at the Rebels, they still managed to win. The Titans planned to get rid of the easy vote in Nathan, until the Vs and Mark floated the idea of getting rid of Caroline instead, given she stares more intensely than Pat Mullins. At tribal council Kelli was sent out for succeeding in the mission she didn’t succeed in before Mark and the Vs decided to keep things calm and booted Nathan.

We checked in with the Rebels the next day where Kelli was presumably thrilled to be back amongst her fam, comfortably sleeping away the morning as the tribe desperately awaited gossip. Eventually they woke her up, with her sharing that she orchestrated Nathan’s departure, gladly wearing his hoodie as a memento. She tried to do damage control for not throwing the immunity challenge, saying she pivoted to get rid of a strong player. As everyone explained that wasn’t the task, she continued to be oblivious to their rage. Except for Alex, obviously, who was so clear in his disdain, that she cussed him out for being rude to her. Sadly though, her read on who went home is correct so while everyone is mocking her behind her back, they will probably decide she is wiser than she has played thus far when the tribes come together. Kelli caught up with Kirby, Ray, Aileen and Rianna to run through the current state of affairs, with Kirby not doing much of a social game, straight up pointing out that Aileen and Ray are not with them. To their face. As Kirby told Kelli she knows she can trust her, Ri, Scott and nobody else.

And let’s just say, what a fall from grace for Kirby’s game.

Over at the Titans, Eden was thrilled to have gotten rid of the last easy vote and ready for the game to get spicy as he, Kitty and Caroline do battle with Mark and the Vs for control of the tribe. Kitty and Eden caught up to run through the best options moving forward, with Eden not really keen on taking out Mark, instead wanting to make a move on someone else. Mark and the Vs meanwhile were planning to loop in Winna and Jaden, and make a move against Caroline, given she is upsetting everyone and it should be an easy way to take control. Middle Aged Mafia be damned.

Given both tribes were ready to fracture in two, they came together with JLP who told them to drop their buffs. Because yes, it is time to make things even messier with a cheeky little tribe swap. New Rebels was made up of Eden, Alex, Sarah, Rianna, Kitty, Caroline, Mark, Viola and Jaden. Ray meanwhile drew no buff, meaning he got to pick which tribe he went to, wisely opting to kick off Titans 2.0, on account of their tarp, where he was joined by Kirby, Charles, Kelli, Garrick, Aileen, Winna, Valeria, Feras and Scott.

We ventured back to the new Titans tribe where Valeria welcomed everyone to their far more lush surroundings. Despite feeling well and truly screwed by the swap, being outnumbered 7 to 3, she immediately went into fight mode. She offered to cook rice and sent Charles and Winna to get firewood, allowing their friends to relax and get to know the new beach, knowing they can’t kill the cook. Any time soon, that is. Scott and Kirby meanwhile were thrilled to luck out on the new tribe, agreeing that it makes sense to stick Titans strong for now. Feras joined them, with Scott asking them to put their issues aside until they get the numbers advantage at merge. And thankfully, they were both sensible enough to agree it is for the best.

Over at the new Rebels camp Alex was feeling uneasy as like Valeria, he, Sarah and Rianna were clearly outnumbered. By a very tight six, with zero cracks. As far as he knew. As the women washed off in the ocean, Alex caught up with Eden and Mark to see if he could get any information. Or at worst, convince them to vote out one of the girls over him. Mark meanwhile was sad to be without Valeria, though happy to have options with V and the Middle Aged Mafia. And glad they didn’t get rid of Caroline at the last tribal council. Sarah meanwhile was bonding with Viola, who admitted to us that she isn’t exactly feeling comfortable with her fellow OG Titans and as such, wanted to use the OG Rebels to make a move against Kitty and Caroline before they make one against her and Mark.

JLP made his triumphant return to preside over the first immunity challenge as new tribes, where they would each hold two ropes tethered to a gutter and manoeuvre a ball from one end on a line-up to the other to land it into a basket first. After Kelli sat out, both tribes tried to practise and get their eye in. The Rebels appeared to figure it out just that little bit quicker as the ball went from Mark to Sarah and Alex. The Titans then overtook as they found their momentum, while Caroline started to get sassy over at the new Rebels as she struggled. The Titans went person to person without dropping until Garrick started to struggle. The Rebels started to close the gap before Ray once again bossed the challenge, who passed it off to Winna and back to Kirby, who scored the point and jagged immunity for her new tribe.

Back at camp Rianna was feeling like she could use a little vom, knowing that she is well and truly on the outs. Kitty caught up with Rianna and Sarah, lamenting that she would prefer someone to be shit to make things easier. After assuring her it was all good, Rianna and Sarah caught up with Viola, Mark and Caroline to give them the lay of the land on the original Rebels to try and sell themselves as an asset moving forward. They caught up with Alex and suggested hunting for idols, despite the fact they all knew splitting wouldn’t even help them. The OG Titans meanwhile were hanging out, hoping to stay a solid six, talking about the fact Rianna has the most relationships and as such, is the biggest threat. While Sarah and Alex are malleable. 

Eden, Mark and Caroline locked in a split vote between Sarah and Rianna, agreeing to loop in Alex before Mark caught up with Viola. Who felt like the safe move wasn’t the best idea and instead, thought it would be a good idea to blindside Caroline with the help of the OG Rebels. Caroline being Caroline, she was busy hanging out in the bushes, staring, and decided (correctly) that Viola was coming for her. She went and filled in Kitty, with the duo suggesting they could blindside Viola instead. Just as Mark had calmed her on making the move against Caroline too soon.

Kitty wandered off to loop in Sarah and Rianna while Caroline ran the plan via Eden, who tried to get them to calm their farm for another tribal or two. While she countered that they can’t risk Mark and V pulling the trigger first. After looping in the girls, Caroline told Sarah she doesn’t need to know who else is voting for Viola which to me, seems like something is going to mess up. Eden meanwhile was starting to spiral, worrying about how Mark will react to him blindsiding Mark’s closest ally outside of the Middle Aged Mafia.

Eden joined Sarah and Caroline in the shelter, before pulling Caroline aside to question what happens if Mark and Jay are upset and flip over to the OG Rebels and take control. Despite feeling like Eden was needlessly worried, Caroline suggested they loop in Jaden to try and neutralise the threat and make him feel like he is part of the plan. As such, Eden approached Jaden, who wisely offered that he would trust him. If that is what he wants. While Mark watched on, worried about them turning on each other too soon. Assuring us that if all the conversations he has seen happening up and down the beach worry him at tribal council, he is willing to play the idol for himself or V.

At tribal council Mark spoke about the Titans being thrilled to be able to show off a little more of their rebellious side, now that they’ve switched things up. Rianna meanwhile opened up about how difficult it has been to try and get any information out of the OG Titans and as such, they’re kind of sitting ducks. Alex joked that he should be kept due to his guns, though pointed out it would actually make sense for the former Titans to use them as numbers to try and take control, rather than just casting them aside. Mark spoke about how that does make sense, wondering whether it had crossed other OG Titans minds, as he and V both spoke about staying Titans strong. Caroline spoke about the fact the Titans are a tight six and for now, they are staying together and taking advantage of the chips falling in their way. Eden and Mark danced around the fear of not making a move soon enough, and finding the balance of stability and advancement. Before he spoke about being confident in his group, rather than the Titans.

Viola admitted that she was trying to think two steps ahead, once the Rebels trio are gone, knowing that if someone doesn’t make a move, they become the sitting ducks. Alex implored them to make a move before their rivals make one on them, before Mark reiterated that is just the game in a nutshell. Caroline then got super awkward, stumbling over her words, which appeared to be the final thing to convince Mark that something was afoot. With that the tribe voted, Mark held on to his idol and Viola was tragically blindsided from the game.

Viola followed my wailing sobs all the way back to Loser Lodge where I crumpled straight into her arms. She held me as I cried uncontrollably for a couple of hours, before assuring me that she is ok and I would be too. And while I still don’t know if I believe her – I mean, what a damn loss – she did promise to hook me up with a puppy on Dog House Australia. And that kinda cures everything. That, and a piping hot batch of Viola Soup Jokudumplings, that is.

While there is an abnormally high chance of burning your tongue, mouth and oesophagus, these delicious dumplings are more than worth it. Warm and hearty, with the right amount of sweetness, there is no better dish to cheer you up.

Enjoy!

Viola Soup Jokudumplings
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 ¼ cup chicken stock
3 tbsp light soy sauce 
2cm piece ginger, sliced 
5 cloves garlic, bruised
7g gelatin powder
500g pork mince
2 tbsp shaoxing wine
¾ tsp kosher salt
½ tsp sesame oil
¾ teaspoon raw caster sugar
3 tbsp water
¼ tsp ground white pepper
1 tbsp minced ginger
18-20 gow gee wrappers

Method
Bring the stock, 2 tablespoons of the soy sauce, ginger and garlic to a simmer over medium-high heat and cook, stirring occasionally, until reduced to about 1 cup of liquid. Skim off the ginger and garlic, add in the gelatin and whisk to incorporate. Transfer to a shallow pan and pop in the fridge to set for an hour.

In a food processor, blitz the pork mince for 30 seconds to form a paste. Add in the shaoxing, salt, sesame oil, caster sugar, water, pepper and ginger, and blit for another minute or so, or until it all comes together. Transfer to a large bowl, cover and transfer to the fridge to rest until the soup sets. Once the soup has set, cut it into 1.5cm cubes and fold through the pork mixture and return to the fridge until you’re ready to assemble.

Prepare your steamer, lining it with cheesecloth to make sure the dumplings don’t stick. 

Once you’re ready to assemble, place a tablespoon of filling in the centre of each disc and pleat to form a little pouch, leaving the seam at the top. Making sure it is completely sealed. Repeat the process until done.

To steam, place the dumplings in 5cm apart, making sure not to overload the steamer. Cook for about 8-10 minutes, or until piping hot and cooked through. Remove and repeat the process until they are all done.

Serve immediately with black vinegar and a bit of chilli, being super careful as they are very hot. But obvi, devour gleefully.


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Baoverly Buns Kills

Main, Poultry, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 2, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under the dolls formed girl groups and while the producers tragically opted against keeping costs down and getting the girls to talk about their tight tucks, it did work out for the best as it was absolute fire. Like the first season of UK, one team absolutely molly wopped – not whomp, which I just learnt was different and something I would love TBH – while the other team had a Cheryl trying to hold them up. While Spankie took out her third win, Hannah her second and Kween her first, Beverly was the aforementioned Cheryl on the losing group, which tragically resulted in the elimination of my fave – and total baby zaddy – Yuri.

Backstage everyone was rallying around an emotional Molly, who had been expecting to the one going home. She toasted Yuri for being such a hard worker before Spankie stepped in and gave a beautiful speech about just how great Yuri is and reiterated that she belongs, while she (and I) sobbed. And ugh, just crown Spankie this instant, you cowards!

The next day the girls were still feeling their girl group oats, though fearful that Minnie was also lingering in the rafters, ready to start a feud at any moment. Kween meanwhile apologised for bringing the room down last week, though stopped short of apologising to Beverly specifically for fighting. She felt she was most disappointed in the fact she was so frustrated that she straight up missed the chance to toast Yuri and remind her how proud she is. This led to Bev instead apologising to her and while they hugged it out, I feel like things are still tense.

Ru interrupted things to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge they would be filming tourism infomercials promoting their hometown. As they split up to come up with a plan, Hannah locked in Perth while Molly was going to lean into Newcastle, given it is where she and Rhys are both from. Bev meanwhile opened up about being like me, starting on the GC before moving to Brisbane while Spankie was proudly going to rep Palmerston North and smalltown life. Kween meanwhile opened up to Hannah and Spankie about how much she is struggling with her depression, while everyone rallied around and vowed to always be there for each other. And ugh, I love seeing it!

My fellow Tweed local Samantha Harris then dialled in to advise them how to sell shit and while it didn’t add much, she is Tweed Breed 4 Lyf like me, so you all should stan.

Ru made her ru-turn to the Werk Room to kiki with the dolls, cutting down all of Spankie’s ideas and telling her to highlight the best part of Palmerston North, herself. Beverly then dropped by and well, let’s just say I’m not mad, just disappointed, that she has never watched Muriel’s Wedding. The cinematic celebration of TWEED HEADS. Is this the Tweed showcase episode?! While Ru just wanted to find out who Beverly is, Kween was told to bring the fun, Hannah was told to be less serious and well, Molly’s version of Newcastle was quote-unquote, sad.

Done dropping bombs, Ru exited stage left as they started to get ready while Beverly asked her sisters for advice on how to show more of her personality. With Hannah jumping in with suggestions before Bev even finished her sentence, while Kween joined in with more advice that Bev felt was aggressive. As such, she started to spiral leading to another epic pep talk from Spankie in the rack of costumes and again, if Spankie doesn’t win, we riot.

Kween was up first to film with Michelle Visage and down under icon Suzanne Paul and well, she was a little boring. But given the pit crew are hot, I loved it. Spankie meanwhile slayed as the drunk aunty wandering through town on her way home from a night out. Hannah arrived looking stunning and was so organised, prepared and most importantly, bonkers, that I live for her. Molly meanwhile was sexed up, demented and a little confused, but Michelle and Suzanne were having fun together and that is all that matters. Oh and then Bev was living for her concept hunting for a sugar daddy as a lesbian Irwin. And well, I love the shoot portion if nothing else, because Bev was fun.

Elimination Day arrived with Beverly opening up about the fact she has realised that she is still trying to find herself and that that, combined with her family’s drive for success has made it difficult for her to just be. Talk then turned to the girls’ families, with Kween opening up about how her oldest sister died the year she was undergoing her gender confirmation and how she is living with the regret of not getting to know her or support her on her journey. She then immediately pivoted and encouraged everyone to do what they love as it makes them happy. And that is the sweet Kween Kong that I know and love.

Michelle, Rhys and Ru took their places as Kween opened the Swimsuit Edition runway giving oceanic goddess realness. Spankie was sex on legs as Pamela Anderson’s older sister, Molly was a stunning Meter Maid – complete with high-beams – while Hannah was a confection in a bright, mod delight while Beverly gave another Meter Maid, this time with a ruveal AND coins.

When it came to the commercials, Kween’s was silly and demented though the judges wanted it to be more funny funny and less dark humour. Though they loved her runway.  Oh and then Ru gave an epic monologue about internalised homophobia AND daddy issues, which was amazing. Spankie was up next with a gloriously deranged commercial that confused the shit out of everyone, meaning it was perfection. And then add in her Baywatch moment and well, it was a good week for Spankie. Molly’s ad meanwhile was classic bogan Australian and I love it and sadly, feel like I’ve lived it. Multiple times. Hannah’s ad was camp perfection, telling a story and was so damn smart. I mean, she fought a black swan AND exploded. Oh and they loved her pivoting on the runway and standing out in all the right ways. Bev meanwhile lived her Irwin fantasy, though kinda fell flat by being so polished rather than showing her messiness. 

Ru opted to get messy and asked the dolls to identify who should go home with everyone opting for Bev due to her track record, while Bev instead felt Kween’s commercial was the weakest. Adding that her track record wasn’t much better than her, either.

Backstage Bev was heartbroken to be the one everyone named, despite understanding why they called her out. Hannah once again cut her off and encouraged her to stop being so in her head and instead just be. And while Hannah felt she was being encouraging and trying to push her to be better, Bev cut her off and started to sob. Once again Spankie gave her a pep talk and helped lift her back up, encouraging her to swear at Hannah all she wanted. Which she sadly opted against, instead choosing to practice the lip sync since she was totally in the bottom.

Ultimately Molly and Spankie – ROBBED – were sent to safety as Hannah joined the triple winners club with Spanks. Which obviously left Kween to face off against Beverly to Ru’s very own The Beginning. And damn, did the dolls turn a show. Like I know I say that a lot, but it was actually WILD. There was almost a collision within the first three bars, they were flipping and spinning every second line, backwards AND forwards, hitting every lyric and oftentimes in complete synchronicity. I mean, if ever there was a time for a double shantay, it was now, because this was amazing. Like a gymnastics version of Alyssa and Tatianna. Sadly though, somebody had to go – apparently – as Kween was sent to safety, sending my fellow Bris-babe Bev out of the competition.

While Bev went through a lot of emotion this week, she held her head high as she returned to the Werk Room. I pulled her in for a massive hug and tried to give her my very best Spankie impersonation, reminding her that she is a star and has all of her career to figure out who she is, so to just believe in herself and have fun. Because spoiler alert, she is already a massive success. Which thankfully got through to her, allowing us to laugh and cry, as we reminisced about the glory of the GC and Brisvegas (and I firmly explained the importance of watching Muriel’s Wedding) before smashing some glorious Baoverly Buns Kills.

It is no secret that I passionately and ardently love both a porkie – praise be, Benedict – and baos, but this little duck number is just a little bit better than the rest. Rich, sweet and a little bit fresh, the flavours dance over your palate as expertly as Bev in a lip sync.

PHOTO 2

Baoverly Buns Kills
Serves: 4

Ingredients
8 buns Bret LaBao Buns
¼ tsp salt
1 tsp light soy sauce
1 tsp shaoxing wine
¼ tsp Chinese five spice
4 boneless duck breasts
1 tbsp vegetable oil
⅔ cup hoisin sauce, plus extra for drizzlin’
¼ cup kewpie mayo
2 lebanese cucumbers, cut into lengths
2 shallots, sliced
¼ cup coriander, leaves torn

Method
Prepare the baos as per Bret’s recipe. Combine the salt, light soy, shaoxing and five spice powder in a bowl and rub into the duck. Transfer to a plate, leaving the skin up to dry for an hour or so.

When you’re ready to cook, pop the oil in a heavy based skillet over medium heat and once nice and hot, pop the breasts in the pan, skin side down and cook for about 10 minutes, agitationg frequently, or until crispy and the fat had rendered out.

Drain most of the fat and flip the breasts and cook for another 10 minutes or so, or until cooked through. Remove the duck and leave to rest for a couple of minutes. Shred the duck and return to the pan with the hoisin and toss to combine.

To assemble, smear mayo on the baoss, layer with some cucumber and shallots, top with a heaping of duck, a drizzle of hoisin and some coriander. Then, devour.


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Jonathan Dan Bennoodles

Main, That Is So Fetch Week

Hey, do you know what day it is? Of course you do! It’s October 3rd aka Mean Girls Day aka the entire reason for this year’s That’s So Fetch Week going public. I know you were probably hoping that Tina or Linds would be dropping by, but they have both already gone here … and Linds is still busy stopping that child trafficking ring. So following in Mands and Dan’s footsteps is none other than Aaron Samuels himself, Jonathan Bennett.

Aka the entire reason we have Mean Girls day.

As I alluded to yesterday, Dan Fran and I had a tragic break-up on the set of Mean Girls due by my infatuation for Jonathan which culminated in our torrid affair. Tragically it ended too – maybe because I am too much like Regina George – but Jono and I have been the best of friends ever since.

Hell, I even forgave him for writing the Mean Girls Cookbook without me, that is how close we are. Though considering he chose to go with an actual chef over someone that tries things he finds only and quadruples the garlic content and adds chilli, I really had no right being offended in the first place.

Giving how busy he has been successfully writing a cookbook and hosting a baking show, Jon and I haven’t seen as much of each other as we would like lately. I mean, as besties we Skype each day, particularly since I introduced him to his Amazing Race-r boyfie Jaymes, but there is nothing like the real thing of hanging out with your friends in the same room. Smashing some Jonathan Dan Bennoodles.

 

 

Once again proving my non-chef credentials, this dan dan was inspired by a couple of recipes I found online though hella simplified. And probably nothing like how it should taste. Rich, nutty, spicy and fresh, this baby will fill you with joy and put a fire in your belly. Given the heaping of chilli, obvi.

Enjoy!

 

 

Jonathan Dan Bennoodles
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
1 tbsp vegetable oil
6 garlic cloves, minced
1 tbsp ginger, minced
500g pork mince
3 tbsp Chinese chilli oil
1 tsp ground Sichuan peppercorns
½ tsp Chinese five spice
2 tsp hoisin sauce
2 tsp shaoxing wine
1 tsp dark soy sauce
2 tbsp tahini
3 tbsp light soy sauce
2 tsp raw caster sugar
2 cups chicken stock
1 tbsp smooth peanut butter
400g udon noodles, cooked as per packet instructions
1 cup baby spinach
1 bok choy, quartered
1 shallot, sliced

Method
Heat the vegetable oil in a large pot over high heat and cook the garlic and ginger for a minute. Add the mince and cook for a further couple of minutes before reducing the heat to medium and adding the chilli oil, spices, sauces, sugar, stock and peanut butter. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to low and simmer until the sauce reduces.

Cook the udon as per packet instructions and add a tablespoon of cooking water to the pan if it starts to get too thick. Add the baby spinach and bok choy to the pan, and cook until heated through before tossing through the noodles.

Serve immediately, sprinkled with shallots and devour. Because it’s October 3rd.

 

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Beve and Blarke Bean Sauce

Main, Survivor NZ, Survivor NZ: Thailand, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor New Zealand, Tess didn’t react well to the Brad blindside leading to her and Tara going to (passive aggressive) war. On the flipside, Matt’s confidence grew and grew following the blindside, however Lisa admitted to patiently waited in the wings to take her shot at him. Sadly she was unaware that Matt and Dave were old school chums and as such, were protecting each other at every possible juncture. Before the cracks could show in that alliance, they rallied the tribe to take out one of the biggest threats in the form of icon, goddess and queen, Renee.

Back at camp Dave was caught up in the semantics of the betrayal that lead to he and Renee’s feud, unable to see how telling someone to put their vote on her is wrong if he voted with her in the majority. Thankfully Zadam explained that it was in fact a betrayal since they didn’t actually communicate anything. Despite the peptalk, Dave was still hurt slash concerned about his game and as such, Adam was sick of the whining – don’t whine in front of Adam FYI – and vowed to get him out ASAP.

The mood was looking up the next day as Matt and Zadam joked about a Scissor Paper Rock immunity challenge – which would be iconic, TBH – and chilled around camp. Thankfully Lisa was on hand to bring some excitement, identifying that now is the time for her to take out Matt since they’re down to seven and she no longer needs to worry about Renee. Before we could see her work her magic, treemail arrived announcing a glorious food reward. They think.

With that, they trundled off to find Kiwi Jeff to learn they would need to balance a pole of corn on the end on an ever expanding long, hard pole – aka the challenge that almost killed Joe-gel in Second Chances – with the winner snatching themselves a sweet feast. Which almost made them all cream their shorts. Given this isn’t the most exciting challenge to watch unless someone faints, the Kiwis added some Harry Potter musical queues as Lisa made jokes – maybe – about nobody liking a floppy pole before she, Tess, Tara, Adam and Matt dropped their corn leaving Dave and Eve to battle it out. Though since Dave had clearly struggle for the past couple of minutes, it came as no surprise that he soon followed and handed Eve a shit tonne of sweet treats. And us, the joy of seeing Dave just miss out on winning another challenge.

While Matt felt that yet another Eve victory painted a big old target on her back, she chose to share her reward with his bestie Dave – and Zadam who reminded us about his massive pregame botox injection – so hopefully that can help keep her alive. Adam was concerned about sharing the reward with Dave, given his penchant for eating to the point of vomming … until he saw the massive spread and almost died. Though true to form, Dave made out like he had eaten too much and that he was regretting it. Which Adam obviously felt was a dramatic cry for attention.

Back at camp Lisa and Tara tried to convince themselves the pre-challenge teaser was more than enough for them before Tess put an end to the happiness by pointing out Dave had been on every reward while she hasn’t been on one. While that didn’t get Tara to bite and want to take her out, Matt was more than willing to get her out as the endurance challenge queen. While Matt and Tess seethed, Adam, Eve and Dave bonded on reward and opened up hope for our quiet queen to avoid the boot. As did the fact that Lisa actively kicked off her assault on Matt making quick work of pulling in Tara and them trying to figure out the other two people that would be best to help them.

The victors returned back to camp with Dave continuing to be dramatic about how full he is, much to the absolute disgust of Adam who quickly unfriended Dave after their bonding. Adam then decided it was time to get rid of Dave, puzzled about why it hasn’t occurred already and why Matt wants to keep him around. Speaking of which, Matt lamented about the difficulty of playing the game with someone he is already friends with as it is yet another layer of deception they need to keep in check. Unaware she was leading the charge against him, Matt and Dave checked in with Lisa to see where her head was at heading into the next tribal. Obviously she quickly assured him that she is all in on taking out Eve and they headed back to camp … until Lisa and Matt spotted an arrow on the ground, made a meditating excuse to get rid of Dave and found themselves a hidden immunity idol. Which is great, except for the fact Lisa wants to take him out and he technically snatched it first.

With that, Matt was feeling confident about his place in the game and his alliance with Lisa thanks to his assurances that it is their idol. Sadly she isn’t feeling that trust as it now makes getting him out just that little bit more difficult and her chances of winning are now slim to none. And her pain broke my heart because I would totally react the exact same way. Lisa was feeling more confident the next day after coming up with a plan to get him to hand over the idol and sell it as a way to keep things even between them by having someone ‘own’ it and the other ‘hold’ it. Sadly it made her feel like he didn’t trust her, though thankfully that wasn’t the case and vowed to work with her to make it to the end.

Matty Chis returned for this week’s immunity challenge where the castaways were required to manoeuvre bamboo through a tangled piece of rope, then across a balance beam and lastly through an obstacle, dropping people along the way. Tess made quick work of the first stage, joined by Matt, Dave, Lisa and Adam for the second obstacle. Despite hoping to take out immunity to ensure Matt didn’t, poor Lisa didn’t survive the second round as Matt, Tess and Dave faced down the final stage. All three remained neck and neck throughout the challenge, though since Dave never wins it was clearly a two horse race which Matt tragically won. Well, tragically if you’re a fan of Lisa. Which everyone should be. Making it even worse, she audibly said “oh no, Matt won,” as he took out the challenge and she is concerned someone may have heard her.

Back at camp Lisa tried to come up with a plan B for the upcoming vote, while Matt tried to rally the troops to continue on with his plan to get rid of Eve. Dave and Eve caught up by the shore and decided to focus their attention on getting rid of Tess, or so Eve thought. Adam joined Matt and Lisa by the well to discuss who to get rid of and the weird pre-tribal mood. While they all lamented not wanting to take out Eve, Adam confirmed that her challenge prowess was a concern while poor Lisa had to stand silent instead of countering the fact she is the best chance of beating Matt at a challenge. She then went to talk to Tara who was keen to vote Dave instead, though Lisa felt they had left it too late to change up the vote before tribal and that sticking their necks out would come back to bite them. Tara tried to convince Matt to flip to Dave which did make him nervous about whether he could trust her, though appeared to talk her around from flipping. While on the other side of camp, Adam and Tess spoke about not wanting Tess to go and considered getting rid of Dave instead. Thankfully the stars aligned and Tara and Adam were able to talk before tribal council about pulling in some numbers to get Dave out instead … however since Tara has never spoken to Adam about strategy, it seems doomed to fail.

At tribal council Matt spoke about his second immunity win painting a bigger target on his back, Tara shared that she is not a hustler baby and instead just listened to what people told her while poor Eve started to break down about not being a hustler and fearing for her place in the game as everyone had ignored her during the day. She then kinda went one step too far and spoke about how hard she has fought – aka how well she has played – through sobbing tears, cementing why she does need to go. While she didn’t want to shame the people she felt betrayed her, Dave felt that she was hurt by him not voting with her despite not actually having any control or sway to change it.

Poor Eve continued to fight through tears and begged people to vote with their heart before Matt gave everyone a chance to speak up before voting. Which Zadam did, telling her that while he likes her they have never actually had a strategic conversation and as such, he has no idea what tomorrow would bring if he did in fact flip. While she – rightly – pointed out that he has a huge amount of influence on the tribe, her pleas however were too little too late, as she found herself booted from the game. While she was really gutted and emotional to find herself heading to the jury, dear, sweet Eve was quickly cheered up by the sight of a big bowl of Beve and Blarke Bean Sauce.

 

 

Now I am ashamed to admit that beef and black bean isn’t usually on my go-to list of Chinese take-away dishes, given our delicious it is. Let’s just put it down to childhood loathing – unadulterated loathing – and never really wising up to the fact of this beauty in my teen years because I had men to secretly thirst after.

So … enjoy!

 

 

Beve and Blarke Bean Sauce
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
¼ cup shaoxing wine
2 tsp raw caster sugar
600g beef fillet, thinly sliced
2 tsp cornflour
1 tbsp soy sauce
1 tbsp black bean sauce
1 tbsp sriracha
1/4 cup beef stock
vegetable oil
1 onion, cut into wedges
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 tbsp ginger, minced
1 green capsicum, cut into large dice
100g mushrooms, sliced
4 shallots, cut into 5cm lengths

Method
Combine half the shaoxing in a large bowl with the sugar. Add the beef, toss to coat and leave to marinate in the fridge for half an hour. While that is gettin’ chill, whisk the remaining shaoxing in a jug with the cornflour, soy, black bean, sriracha and stock and leave to rest.

When you’re ready to rock, heat a lug of oil in a wok and stir fry the beef in batches for a couple of minutes or until browned. Add the onion, garlic and ginger and cook, stirring, for a minute before adding the capsicum and mushrooms. Cook, stirring for a further couple of minutes. Add the sauce to the pan and cook for a further couple of minutes, or until the sauce thickens.

Stir through the shallots and serve immediately, on a bed of fluffy rice.

Devour through your tears.

 

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Mongoliam Gallaghlamb

Main, Side

Now I know I ran my fucking mouth a bit on Monday, but I was so fucking excited to be seeing me mate Liam and getting things back to how it used to be that I simply couldn’t watch me fucking p’s or q’s.

And let me tell you, that fucking excitement was not misplaced as me and the lad are back to being the best of fucking friends.

I first met Liam in the ‘80s while attending The Barlow Roman Catholic High School together. While I tried to sell stories about him being expelled when he was 16, it was actually an elaborate ruse to cover up my own expulsion and criminal activities at the time. Liam is just a fucking legend and was willing to take the heat for me.

It should come as no surprise that I fucking love the guy.

While our relationship has been volatile at best and I’ve worked to play the brothers off against each other, he accepted me apology and we had the best fucking time catching up on what we’ve been up to.

Even when we refused to join me in reforming Oasis, I didn’t fly off the handle and threaten him and his career. Which is what I’m known for. Instead, I accepted his rational argument that we should keep our relationship as just mates and served him up a big bowl of Mongoliam Gallaghlamb.

 

 

This anglicised Chinese take-away dish has long been a favourite of mine, even before I realised Mongolian Lamb included lamb, which I hated at the time. A little bit sweet, packing the hint of a kick and full of tender meat, is there anything else you could want?

Enjoy!

 

 

Mongoliam Gallaghlamb
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 tbsp sunflower oil
600g lamb, thinly sliced
1 onion, thinly sliced
1 green capsicum, thinly sliced
2 celery sticks, thinly sliced
1 tsp Chinese five spice
2 tbsp soy sauce
2 tbsp Shaoxing wine
2 tbsp hoisin sauce
2 tbsp black bean sauce
rice, to serve

Method
Heat the oil in a wok over high heat and stir-fry the lamb for a couple of minutes or until browned. Transfer to a plate.

Add the onion, capsicum and celery and stir-fry for a minute or so before stirring through the five spice and a good whack of salt and pepper. Add the lamb back into the pan with the soy, Shaoxing, hoisin and black bean sauce, and simmer until reduced.

Serve piping hot with freshly cooked rice, or even Stephanie Fried Rice. She’d fucking love it.

Devour.

 

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