TV Recap

The Girlfruitmince Piexperience

Baking, Canada's Drag Race 4, Canada’s Drag Race, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls went into marketing mode as they hosted their own little spots on QVShe. And let’s just say, it was freaking damn terrible. Like bomb after bomb, except for Venus in her skit and the duo of Kitten and Melinda. Who ironically were the ones everyone else avoided. Despite being a strong duo, it was ultimately Kitten that took out victory. After Brooke warned all the other dolls they were lucky they had to stop at the bottom three, she announced the new twist of the season, the Golden Beaver. Where the winning queen would be able to save one of the bottom three from lip syncing. With Kitten wielding her power to save The Girlfriend Experience. Leaving Luna to send Sisi home, giving the ultimate that’ll do.

Backstage Luna was shell shocked to have survived the lip sync, while Denim was already missing her Montreal sister. Vowing to win the whole competition in her honour. Aurora meanwhile was thrilled her Toronto sister had survived. Before Aimee decided it would be a wonderful idea to verbalise that she wasn’t vibing with Luna’s lip sync performance. Kitten meanwhile directed things to the big old twist, talking about the potential for alliances helping people make their way to the end. She explained to Luna that she didn’t save her as she just was closer to Girlfriend. While also hoping Girlfriend would return the favour in the future. Luna however did vow to return the favour, and suggested she would save only people that would benefit her making it further.

The next day Girlfriend was thrilled to not be a Porkchop – when it is clearly Juice Boxx – before Melinda led the girls in congratulating Kitten on her win. Again. Denim meanwhile wanted to find out how everyone else would vote with the power of the beaver, with Kiki wanting everyone to stick with the judges critiques. Nearah on the other hand wanted everyone to try their hardest to get rid of the threats. To help her get to the end.

Traci dropped by to put them through their paces in a press junket mini challenge. Complete with 20 minute quick drag. First up to promote The Godmotha 3 was Melinda who was so messy and patronising, and I loved it. Venus was obviously polished and demented, while The Girlfriend Experience just bomb, bomb, bombed again. While Kitten gave Liza, Aurora was shrill, Kiki was horny and Denim was detached. Obviously Melinda won, given she was the only one committing to a bit. And for winning, she was a team captain in this week’s girl groups maxi challenge. While Luna, as the survivor of the lip sync, was the other.

Melinda quickly jagged Kiki, Kitten, The Girlfriend Experience and Aimee for her band while Luna grabbed Venus, Aurora and Nearah, leaving Denim to round out group two. Giving us a battle of the oldies and the younguns. And given Denim was last to be picked, she got to select the songs, opting for Heartbeat, a love song. Giving the old gals Heartbreak. As is tradition, they would write lyrics and put together choreo and looks, all under the mentorship of pop star Rêve.

The dolls split up to figure out their genre and how best to serve their songs. The oldies locked on the band name Vixens, while the dolls went with Love Bugs. Before promptly pulling together an alliance. The bands started to listen to their songs and got to work on their lyrics, with Aurora dropping line after line, while at the other end of the pack, Girlfriend just struggled. 

The Love Bugs were first up to record with Rêve, with Denim slaying albeit a little slowly. Luna meanwhile was positively glacial, as poor Rêve desperately tried to get her to give even a hint of energy. Aurora meanwhile spit bars like it was nothing, Nearah went for some money notes before Venus, once again, was perfect and damn, am I stanning? They traded out with The Vixens with Melinda actually a diva, Kiki meanwhile struggled and got stuck in her head and Kitten gave old cabaret. Nothing more, nothing less. While Girlfriend slowly got more comfortable throughout the record, before Aimee gave sass in a Bebe Zahara kinda way. We ventured to the mainstage where The Love Bugs got to work on the choreography where Nearah and Aurora took control and absolutely slayed, while Denim struggled. When The Vixens hit the stage, Melinda took control and immediately got under everyone’s skin.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone splitting up to beat their mugs and get ready to slay the house down boots. Denim meanwhile opted to be shady, asking why she was picked last. While Aimee opened up about getting in her head about the fact she was singing in her second language, though she is super proud of herself. Nearah meanwhile opened up about her zaddy fiance, before Denim spoke about her husband and how thrilled it is to be with another trans man. Kitten meanwhile opened up about her boyfriend and how supportive she is of Kitten. Aimee spoke about getting divorced just before coming to the show and that she is ready to turn it out.

Brooke, Brad and Traci were joined by Rêve on the panel as The Vixens debuted their hit song Heartbreak and let’s just say, this was the Melinda Varga show and I 100% stan her. Kiki meanwhile couldn’t lip sync to her own lyrics, Girlfriend struggled with the choreography and Kitten was a little flat. Aimee meanwhile was a surprise, giving attitude and charm and ugh, I love to see it. When it came to The Love Bugs performance of Heartbeat, it was polished, cohesive and oh so stunning. The moves were camp and silly, yet still a little sickening. While Luna didn’t have the same energy as the rest of her sisters, it still kinda worked. Though maybe that is just because the others really got a star moment.

On the Sunglasses at Night runway Aurora was stunning in fiery red and black, all hanging from her shades. Luna gave ruffle pleather crow, Nearah gave purple hooded dame, Denim was bright, beaded and wearing all the sunnies while Venus gave terminator drag diva. Aimee was glorious in green and blue, like a denizen of Oz. Girlfriend gave full dominatrix, Melinda gave Madonna Frozen with face-shield glasses, Kitten gave goon sack daddy before Kiki closed the show looking perfect in a mariachi ghost demon look, complete with big ol’ bow.

Aimee, Kiki, Denim, Girlfriend, Kitten and Aurora were deemed the tops and bottoms, as the rest of the girls were dismissed backstage. Aurora received wall to wall praise for each and every thing she did this week, from the killer lyrics, the on point choreography and most importantly, giving the best runway of the night. Denim too was absolutely beloved while the judges lived for everything Aimee did this week, particularly since she woke up the song and finally had her breakthrough. Girlfriend meanwhile was praised for showing a little more of herself, particularly on the runway, however they clearly hated her performance during the song. Kitten was read for being a little bland and not being connected to the performance. And while Kiki’s runway was absolutely perfect, she was read for not giving enough in the challenge.

Aurora was deemed the winner of this week’s challenge and named the holder of The Golden Beaver, while Denim and Aimee were deemed safe. When they arrived backstage Melinda was busy talking about how gutted she was to see her bandmates make up the bottom. Aurora giddily shared that she took out the first win of the season, while everyone was shocked to hear Aimee was in the top. Talk turned to the power of the beaver, with Kiki disappointed that she isn’t giving the judges enough, assuring Aurora that if she is saved, she will bring the fire and make it worth it. Kitten meanwhile spoke about the judges thinking she was tired, while Girlfriend was disappointed to once again be read for being herself.

Ultimately Aurora opted to save Kiki, leaving Kitten and Girlfriend to battle for the last spot to Rêve’s Tongue. And while the song kinda felt like it would be up Girlfriend’s alley, Kitten was hungry for the win and absolutely demolished, giving camp, as she hit every lyric and used every inch of the floor. Which was enough to let her fight another day, as The Girlfriend Experience was sent out the door. As Girlfriend arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that she is talented and a star, and as such, she shouldn’t let a competition make her feel any less. Which cheered her up, a lot quicker than expected, and as such, we toasted her success with a fresh batch of The Girlfruitmince Piexperience.

I always hated fruit mince pies as a kid, as like Rachel Green making a trifle, I thought they used mince. But then I got a taste of Fruit Mince Pylie Jenner and it was the gateway to the majesty of the traditional kind. Rich, spiced and sweet, they are the perfect festive treat to get you to the end of the year.

Enjoy!

The Girlfruitmince Piexperience
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
225g cold butter, diced
350g flour
100g raw caster sugar
¼ tsp kosher salt
300g mincemeat
1 egg, beaten
raw sugar, to sprinkle

Method
Using your fingers, rub the butter into the flour until it resembles wet sand. Then mix in the caster sugar and salt, kneading with your hands until it just forms a ball. Form into a disc, wrap in cling and pop in the fridge to chill for an hour.

Heat the oven to 180C.

Remove the dough and roll out until it is 3mm thick. Cut into 5-10cm discs and place half into mini pie pans. Spoon in some mincemeat, store bought is fine. Top with the other discs, pressing the edges to seal. Brush the tops with egg and sprinkle with the raw sugar before slicing a small vent in the top of each.

Pop the pies in the oven and bake for 20 minutes or so, or until golden. Remove to cool in the tin for 5 minutes before popping out and placing on a wire rack to cool completely. Or devouring, no judgement.


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Lemon Chicken Bruce Perrissoles

Main, Poultry, Survivor, Survivor 45, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor the Reba alliance were slowly but surely eliminating the threats to their final four dreams. Kendra meanwhile was feeling heartbroken to have lost her bestie Kellie due to Bruce taking out immunity. Though was assured he was still the target. Obviously that meant that he took out yet another win. At reward, Julie, Kendra and Bruce locked in a plan to get rid of Jake instead. Back at camp Emily was also keen to take out Jake, however Dee had other plans. Given Kendra was out to get her, she realised she had to take a shot to save herself, so yet again, convinced her alliance to flip the vote and take our the premiere the Drew Barrymore impressionist, Kendra.

Back at camp Jake was once again gagged to still in the game, though decided that given he is still here, he now must also have allies in the game. Which isn’t really the case. He, Drew and Emily meanwhile were busy talking about getting rid of Bruce, or at the very least, flushing his idol ASAP. Meaning one of those things is happening today, given subtlety isn’t really a thing for the modern Survivor editors.

The next day everyone was thrilled to have a lovely little sleep, except for Julie, who was starting to feel wracked with guilt after blindsiding Kellie and Kendra back-to-back. She started to break down, feeling like her betrayals are really cutting people to their core and while she is happy to play that maternal role, she isn’t loving the way it is exacerbating her betrayals. As they assured each other it was only a game, Katurah, Bruce and Emily were catching up about how much of a threat the Reba 4 are, with Emily starting to realise the boys may not be as loyal to her as she thinks. The problem being Bruce, Katurah and Jake can’t work together, and Bruce doesn’t realise the power of playing his idol to flip the game, rather than just saving himself once. 

I was then instantly proven wrong as Bruce went on a tour testing whether he could successfully act like he gave Kellie his idol before her blindside to avoid a potential Knowledge is Power play, so now is without an idol. In the hope Jake would leak to the Rebas and he could have a showy move.

The tribe caught up with Jeff for the latest reward challenge where they would run through an obstacle course before guiding a ball through a table maze. For a trip to the Sanctuary for a Thanksgiving feast – essentially – and an overnight sleep in a bed. Austin, Bruce, Dee and Jake got out to an early lead, though TBH, everyone was pretty neck and neck up until the table maze. Where everyone dropped over and over again until Austin and Emily got their eye in, with Queen Emily jagging victory. Like an icon. She immediately burst into tears, sharing that everyone was kindly offering to take her to the Sanctuary given she hasn’t been, so to be able to get to go because of her own victory meant the world to her. Jeff then announced she would also get letters from home on reward, picking Julie to join her given she is clearly struggling. As is Probst’s way, he told her another person could come, opting for Katurah. And then Dee, going for a ladies night.

We followed the gals out as they joyfully sat down for their epic feast, praising the hell out of each other and ugh, I love to see it. As do I love Emily’s confessional, sitting there with a wine like an icon. They assured each other that a woman will be the winner of the season, with the group agreeing Bruce needs to go to help them keep winning. They then locked in a split vote between Bruce and Jake in the hope of getting rid of Bruce for Katurah’s delicious revenge. While Katurah dunked on Bruce for trying to pretend his idol went out with Kellie.

Back at camp the guys were busy being guys, allegedly, farting and burping and TBH, I loved the soundtrack if nothing else. While Drew was delighting in finally being able to bro out, rather than watch from the sidelines. While Austin was thrilled to feast on meat. Of the fish he caught, rather than what I’d love to watch. As Austin was busy fishing, Bruce and Jake meanwhile were trying to pick a target, with Bruce pointing out they need Dee gone ASAP. Jake, meanwhile, was hitching his wagon to the Rebas, going to Drew to warn him about the plan and the fact Bruce lost his idol with the Kellie blindside. Which absolutely delighted Austin and Drew. And will in turn delight us when they hilariously learn it is a lie.

We checked back in on the gals where they finally opened their letters and broke down in tears as their loved ones spoke about how proud of them they are. Emily was ready to maybe get married, while Katurah started to sob, as she found a letter from her mother, who she had decided to cut off about a year ago.

The next day the tribe came together, with Drew telling Emily about the situation with Bruce’s idol. Before Emily instantly assured him Bruce doesn’t have an idol and Jake was fed a lie. Knowing everyone treats Jake like a pawn, Emily tried to win him over, pointing out that he is the back-up target and that everyone is against him. As such, he then decided to throw out Drew as an option instead. Obviously Julie took it to Drew, who immediately confronted Jake and let’s just say, he was not thrilled to hear his name. And while Drew tried to talk it through, Jake told him it was over and well, it was hilariously iconic.

The tribe met Probst in the middle of the ocean where they would each lie on a ramp over the water, holding themselves up on tiny handholds, with the last person standing taking out immunity. Almost instantly Emily dropped before Katurah struggled with the thought of falling into the water, stepping off to avoid the surprise. Everyone transitioned to a lower handhold, which cost Julie her spot. They moved down to the smallest handhold and had to put their legs out straight for the rest of the challenge, with Dee dropping instantly, followed by Drew and Jake, leaving Austin and Bruce to battle it out. At least for another couple of minutes, before Bruce dropped, handing Austin immunity. As everyone screamed and cheered. Probst then announced they could bring the boat in for Katurah if she is too scared to swim out, however everyone rallied around her and helped her over and ugh, it was beautiful and I love Probst for manufacturing it.

Back at camp Bruce quickly assured us and the tribe that he would be playing his idol, with the ricochet going home. As everyone assured him that it would then mean Jake is going home. Katurah and Emily were discussing how it is unlikely that Jake would win the game however, while Julie is highly likely to score the votes and as such, decided they need to get rid of her ASAP. Emily ventured off to loop in Bruce, before we learnt this may just be a plan to get him to not play an idol. Bruce then caught up with Jake, with the duo realising getting rid of Julie was the only way to guarantee the former Belos make it to the end, however given he has been played week after week, Jake just wasn’t sure who to trust. As he broke down in tears, Katurah checked in to see if he was ok, assuring him that she has his back and to just relax. Bruce then arrived and gave him a peptalk and ugh, it was super sweet to see. And now I love Bruce.

Speaking of Bruce, he was nervous about the plan coming together, given Jake was starting to spiral. Unaware that Emily is gleefully playing him just to avoid an idol play.

At tribal council everyone spoke about the difference in the energy, given Bruce is no longer immune. Bruce admitted it made him nervous, though calmly threatened that he would be playing his idol. Jake meanwhile was happy to have been involved in discussions lately, though he still feared being left out. As it makes him feel dumb. Austin and Julie tried to make him feel better, with Julie then opening up about the extra burden that comes to her being christened the mama, as people are more likely to feel betrayed by her. Drew spoke about tonight feeling different, given they are far more ambiguous about the game they’re all playing, the closer it gets to the end. While Katurah, Emily and Jake spoke about it being harder to make a move as the numbers dwindled. Julie meanwhile was confident she won’t be going home, while everyone agreed an idol is likely to be played tonight. As they giggled about the fact Bruce may not even play it.

With that the tribe voted and Bruce ultimately held onto his idol for another day, which turned out to be a huge mistake, as three votes piled up on Jake, one on Julie and the rest on Bruce, blindsiding him with the idol in his pocket. And kill off his other day. As he walked in to Ponderosa, I hid and did some slapstick humour, which is Bruce and my love language. He then pulled me in for a massive hug and thanked me for being on hand to cheer him up. I assured him that his personality is definitely not too much and that he isn’t overbearing, so to embrace who he is because that is perfect. Yeah, totally out of character for me, but Bruce is an absolute delight and deserves a little love. In the form of my Lemon Chicken Bruce Perrissoles.

There is nothing I love more than a little bit of lemon and chicken, and this easy rissoles are truly a perfect pairing. A punch of chilli, the tange of lemon and the smooth, sweet parmesan, they are an absolute delight. Like Bruce.

Enjoy!

Lemon Chicken Bruce Perrissoles
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1kg chicken mince
5 garlic cloves, minced
1 lemon, zested
1 egg
1 cup panko breadcrumbs
1 tbsp cumin
1 tsp chilli flakes
¼ cup mint, roughly chopped
2 tbsp parmesan cheese, grated
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
olive oil

Method
Combine the mince, garlic, zest, egg, breadcrumbs, cumin, chilli, mint, parmesan and a good whack of salt and pepper in a large bowl, scrunching to combine but not overworking. Divide the patties into 8 rissoles using wet hands and pop on a lined plate, cover and chill for half an hour.

When the patties have set, heat a lug of oil in a skillet over medium heat and cook the rissoles in batches of four for 5 minutes each side. Or until golden and cooked through. Then devour.


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Couscousisi Superstalad

Canada's Drag Race 4, Canada’s Drag Race, Salad, Side, Snack, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race 12 queens arrived in the Werk Room, ready to join what I would argue is a pretty iconic winner’s circle. And while we lost the Canadian versions of Trixie and Katya way too soon – as is tradition – it was a hard fought battle before Giselle snatched the crown, joining Icesis and what’s her name? Priyanka, in the winner’s circle. And Ra’Jah, technically. That was then and this is now, as Brooke and Co. are back and are packing a new twist. Which we will learn about later, as first we have a ball. But again, getting ahead of myself here, as we’ve got queens to meet.

First to enter Season 4 is the world’s oldest twink Venus and well, her entry look is kinda horrid, think slutty ice skater in velvet. And then, for reasons, she was forced to exit. Denim was next, serving denim anime goddess and I love everything about her. She too then exited before Kiki Coe arrived serving fashion dragon and fun fact, has made some of the best runways to appear on the show. After she bounced, Luna DuBois arrived giving first-season Lala Ri by way of Mayhem Miller, and I love it. Sisi Superstar arrived giving goth Barabarella, Melinda Verga served pride flag drunk aunt, Kitten Kaboodle arrived to rep as the oldest queen in the franchise and well, I stan, as she seems fun. Nearah Nuff served filler icon, in a Marilyn inspired look that literally fell apart, Aurora Matrix served terracotta warrior-Naomi Smalls realness and ugh, crown her now, I already stan. Then The Girlfriend Experience arrived serving stripper anime and well, I stan her too. Aimee Yonce Shannel dropped by giving red latex showgirl chic and yeah, it was a serve, TBH. 

Everyone was then corralled back into the Werk Room at once, for reasons. As they sized each other up or giddily pretended they didn’t tell their besties they were on the season. We then learnt that there was only space in alcoves for three queens, instantly forming cliques with the pretty girls and designers instantly finding their friends. Aurora meanwhile was thrilled to see she wasn’t the only queen of asian descent, I assume because she can’t be a first boot like it seems to be the tradition on the mothership, but I digress.

Speaking of Ru, she dialled in to announce the arrival of Brooke who welcomed her newest daughters into the fold. With the help of Brad and Traci. They then warned the queens that there will be twists and turns all season long. The first being that they would be starring in a ball. And the first category is already done, with the entrance looks judged and delivered. Brooke, Brad and Traci all gave a rosebud to their fave looks so far with Brooke snatching Denim, Aimee beloved by Brad and Traci, for reasons, living for Venus. They then shared that the next category was Shimmering Showgirls, while they would stomp the runway in Me Myself and I, aka best drag. 

After the judges left, the rosebuddies celebrated being frontrunners for the win. Though Melinda rightly called out Venus for getting one, given her look was so basic. Thankfully they didn’t fight for long, focusing on prepping for the second category. Sisi and Denim were vibing before Kitten gagged the dolls with her age and the fact she has been doing drag for longer than most of the dolls have been alive. 

Aurora kicked off the second category giving geisha showgirl in all the right ways. Luna slayed given slutty Marilyn burlesque, Denim gave harlequin clown, Kitten gave polished puffy showgirl, Kiki leant into classic showgirl and lived her best life while Nearah was an orange delight. Melinda gave us a golden bodysuit, Aimee was stunning in a carnival hot pink bodysuit before Venus gave us something different in emerald green as she stripped. Sisi gave a sexy devil, as she hit her head on a lamp and fell off the couch. The Girlfriend Experience meanwhile was perfection as the Ringmaster before getting fully nude.

Backstage they finally got to dedrag with Aurora and Venus living their twink fantasy, while Kitten was hopeful she would be the mama of the group. Denim tried to make things shady, asking who the dolls think will be in the bottom tomorrow with Sisi and Nearah both admitting they were worried. The latter talking about being concerned their inner saboteur is already hard at work. While Venus and her rosebud were thrilled to slay.

Elimination Day arrived with Tegan and Sara just wandering on to set to welcome the dolls and announce themselves as guest judges and fun fact, they are sisters, not dating. That is Tatu, if anyone else forgot. Oh and Tegan and Sara’s mum is proud of them for guest judging which is cute AF, so maybe I stan. With that gag out of the way, the dolls split up to beat their mugs, with Nearah galvanized to redeem herself with the third runway. Talk turned to their pronouns before they turned their attentions to how politicized drag has become. The Girlfriend Experience opened up about being shamed by Marjorie Taylor Greene, famed thundercunt, leading to death threats and her having to close down her social media to keep herself safe. She and Denim then spoke beautifully about what they’ve gone through as trans people.

Brooke, Brad, Traci, Tegan and Sara took their places on the judges panel as Venus opened the Me Myself and I runway looking perfect as a feathered Carmen Sandieg-ho. Sisi gave Y2K goth chic, Kiki was perfect in pearls as a goddess. Lula gave Mugler CEO, Aurora was a stunning teal dragon, Nearah gave neon rocker Cyndi Lauper and Kitten was a stunning old dame. Aimee was an african queen in blue and orange, while The Girlfriend Experience looked gorgeous in beige ruffles. Melinda gave golden glam right out of Studio 54 while Denim was an udderly ridiculous clown cow.

Aurora, Aimee, Luna, Kitten and TGE were deemed safe and shipped backstage to untuck before Venus received universal praise for each and every look. And most importantly for giving diversity, polish and turning a damn show every time she hit the floor. Despite her entry look being so basic, to me. Sisi was praised for looking good not great, though read for being awkward, given they couldn’t tell if she was deliberately trying to bomb the performance in look two. Kiki was beloved for giving three stunning looks, gagging the judges with the fact she makes all her looks. Though Traci wanted her to give some life in her mug. Nearah was read for not being able to work through the fuck-ups in the first two looks, thought they loved the third look for being so damn fun. Though Brad was worried she could only sell corset. Melinda was all energy as the judges read her for not being able to sell any of her concepts, while Denim received 10s across the board.

The tops and bottoms joined the safe girls, with Venus proudly telling them she was completely beloved by the judges. Picking up that not everyone was so happy for her. Denim too was proud to receive top marks, while Kitten just assumed Kiki was a top. Sisi tried to pretend she was beloved, delighting her sisters with the fact she was having fun despite being in the bottom. Denim thanked her for being such a light in their community, no doubt assuming she would be going home. Nearah accepted she didn’t do her best, so agreed with their critiques, while Melinda was sure it would be her lip syncing with Sisi. Venus asked her to explain to the dolls why she has been struggling thus far, with Melinda sharing that her partner had a mini stroke just before she left and watching everyone rally around her was just beautiful, TBH.

Ultimately Kiki was sent to safety, followed by Nearah before Brooke announced the next gag, explaining nobody would be going home tonight and instead, the top two would be lip syncing for the win. That obviously meant Melinda and Sisi were safe, leaving Denim and Venus to battle to Feel it in My Bones by Tiësto feat. Tegan and Sara. And while the song is an absolute bop – remember, I’m a Tegan and Sara stan now, ok? – the lip sync was kinda one sided as Venus is a damn star. Denim was cute, fun and absolutely in her lane, but Venus had that fire that you just couldn’t look away from. And as such, she rightly took out the first win of the season. And I will stop bitching about the entry look.

Backstage the dolls were gagged, gooped and absolutely delighted that nobody went home, while Venus was just delighted to have been able to win the lip sync in front of Tegan and Sara themselves. Sisi and Melinda were thrilled to be safe, with Sisi now ready to redeem herself. While The Girlfriend Experience just wanted them all to lift up the seat when going to the bathroom, as she was sick of sitting on piss.

The next day Melinda appeared to be perked up after her near exit, while Venus was just proud to have done the thing. Angela Basset style. Everyone laughed about how they kinda wanted everyone to go home, while Kitten, bless, was just looking forward to improving incrementally because she is old and wise. So, mother. Brooke dropped by to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge, the doll’s would host QVShe episodes, selling the best and brightest products Brooke kindly provided. Shades, ponchos, ugly flats and pocket bras. And given Brooke is messy, she let them pick their groups with TGE, Aurora and Venus forming one, Nearah, Luna and Aimee another, and Sisi, Kiki and Denim the last trio, leaving Kitten and Melinda to be the only duo. Venus then stole the bra for her group, Nearah went with the poncho, Kitten got the flats and Sisi grabbed the sunnies.

Everyone split up to work through their presentations, with Denim spiralling about having a comedy challenge in week two. Nearah and Luna were worried about Aimee having English as a second language and how they could help her shine. Melinda meanwhile was cut the dolls didn’t want them. Oh and TGE was doing the old man voice from Family Guy and just like that, the dolls had a plan. Sisi meanwhile was swinging for the fences, coming up with lots of camp ideas to stand out and work her way up, while Denim worried she was fading. Kitten and Melinda meanwhile were completely zen, being silly and planning to have fun and yes and their way through, making everyone else a little nervous. Nearah meanwhile was hating her partners, while Aimee worried they kept patronising her when she wants to be taken seriously and is this just going to be a mess?

After quickly beating their mugs the dolls went to set where Denim, Sisi and Kiki got to work selling the shit out of the shade blocker goggles. And by selling the shit out of it, they bombed within 30s and yeah, it was hard to watch. Sisi in particular, despite the fact she was cracking herself up. Melinda and Kitten were the polar opposite, giving cohesion, polish and nailing the assignment. Making all the dolls laugh and wish they didn’t assume the oldies would bomb. Venus, Aurora and The Girlfriend Experience kept things good as Venus and Aorora nailed their southern girl schtick, until The Girlfriend Experience just stopped after coming out of the gate strong. As she kept breaking and left the others to carry her. Nearah, Luna and Aimee then closed the show, bombing, try as Nearah and Aimee might.

Elimination Day arrived with Denim putting all her hopes on her runway saving her, while Kitten and Melinda were thrilled to prove themselves and singlehandedly carry the challenge. While Denim and Co hilariously owned bombing, Nearah, Luna and Aimee bickered over who was the reason for their predicament. After splitting up to beat their mugs, The Girlfriend Experience asked Kitten about the first time she saw drag, leading to a beautiful history lesson. Talk turned to terminology, with Denim and The Girlfriend Experience helping everyone make sure they aren’t offending anyone and ugh, it was sweet. Venus meanwhile asked if anyone was across the Canadian queer history with them admitting they kinda have no clue, accept for Aimee who had to learn to pass her citizenship and of course. Because if we learnt anything from Hamilton, it is that only immigrants get the job done.

Brooke, Brad and Traci were joined by the current pucking reigning, Ra’Jah D O’Hara on the panel and ugh, I love her so. On the Gemstones runway, Sisi Superstar gave purple people eater come queen cosplayer. Kiki was a gloriously emerald glamazonian, Denim served iridescent bluebottle, while Kitten gave warrior queen and looked good and Melinda gave ice queen realness. Venus was a slay in a diamond encrusted bodysuit, complete with diamond headpiece. The Girlfriend Experience was a gloriously pearled ethereal beauty, Aurora was a stunning jade goddess, Luna gave slutty Tigger, Nearah gave rhinestone cowgirl who became the CEO, in red before Aimee closed the show in a shimmering sapphire gown which I can’t tell whether is good or an absolute mess.

Sisi, Kitten, Melinda, Venus, TGE and Luna were deeed the tops and bottoms of the week, though Brooke warned the safe girls some got lucky there could only be three bottoms. Sisi was praised for improving her look, though still read for being a mess. And that was before they got to the challenge, given the judges hated literally everything she did. Kitten was absolutely beloved – as she deserves – for the challenge while everyone also lived for the look. Melinda too received top marks for both portions, though Ra’Jah cautioned her to have fun on the runway. Venus’ runway was the best of the week, though the judges equally loved the character she brought to the challenge. TGE’s runway was glorious, though the judges wished she gave more presentation. While her performance in the challenge gave the judges blue balls. While Luna was read for filth for the challenge, though her runway was deemed fun.

Kitten was then announced the winner of this week’s challenge and told that as the winner, she would hold the power of the Golden Beaver which saves one of the bottoms from lip syncing. With that, they ventured backstage to untuck and loop in the other queens and let’s just say, they were gagged and ready to make lots of new friends. TGE started to breakdown about being in the bottom, leading to Venus giving her a huge peptalk. Luna meanwhile was zen about it, while Sisi admitted she was gutted to be in the bottom yet again and how triggering it was for her. Kitten then asked the dolls to pitch why they should be beavered, with TGE begging through tears. Luna was poised as she calmly spoke about needing to be here while Sisi said it was fair for her to be in the bottom and as such, shouldn’t be saved.

They returned to the mainstage were Kitten got her beaver out and promptly saved TGE, leaving Luna and Sisi to battle for the last spot. As Avril’s I’m With You kicked off both dolls leant into the emotion of the song and ugh, this is taking me back to High School. Sisi slayed the lip sync while Luna was kinda subdued, which it seems like the judges wanted, as she was saved, leaving Sisi to become the Juice Boxx of the season. While Sisi was gutted to go home so soon, I quickly pulled her in for a hug and assured her that her two episode run, specifically falling off the couch, is iconic. So taking that and the fact she is the first boot, she will always be beloved. And that was all it took to cheer her up, as we toasted an epic career with a fresh Couscousisi Superstalad.

This little number is gloriously herby and oh so sweet, swiftly putting an end to the no-friends-with-salad discourse. Though given (pearl) couscous is involved, is it really a shock?

Enjoy!

Couscousisi Superstalad
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
1 ½ cups pearl couscous
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
¼ cup olive oil
1 tsp Dijon mustard
½ tsp honey
1 lemon, zested and juiced
¼ cup parsley, roughly chopped
2 tbsp mint, roughly chopped
2 tbsp dill, roughly chopped
½ cup cherry tomatoes, quartered
½ cup chargrilled capsicum, roughly chopped

Method
Bring a pot of salted water to the boil and once rolicking, add the couscous and cook for 10 minutes, or until tender. Drain and leave to cool slightly.

While that is on the go, combine the oil, mustard, honey, zest and juice with a good whack of salt and pepper.

Transfer the couscous to a bowl, toss through the dressing, herbs, tomatoes and chargrilled capsicum and devour. Like an icon.


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CanDeDeLicious Corn Shots

Drink, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race UK the top five put their drag skills to the ultimate test as they welcomed new daughters into their families. By making over workers from the UK’s oldest LGBTQ+ hotline. As is oft the case, the crew were a mixed bag of iconic sheroes, zaddies, bearded hotties and a sweet legendary icon that has lived through all our tragedies, as a reminder of what – and who – we should be grateful for. Given Michael was paired with the legend, she slayed by letting him shine as he delivered a sweet, powerful monologue which I think singlehandedly gave her the win. At the other end of the pack, Kate and DeDe didn’t give enough family resemblance which landed them in the bottom before DeDe Dede-ed, and sent home another badge holder. As that is what she does.

Backstage the dolls were gagged that DeDe managed to get rid of yet another one, though everyone was more heartbroken to lose sweet, beloved Kate. DeDe realised she was now the only non-Geordie left, with the dolls sitting down to talk about how much Michael slayed in the challenge. With Michael vowing to jag a third win this week and rival Ginger for the crown. Tomara meanwhile was an icon, reminding DeDe she is yet to jag a badge and as such, she needs to get one should she have any hope of making it to the end. But given she shook her tits out of her dress, maybe she can defy the odds again, no?

The next day the top four were giddy to be so damn close to the finale, with Michael getting shady and asking Ginger if she predicted this would be the top four when they started. With everyone laughing as she politely declined to answer. After having a right laugh, Tomara shared how she has had such a blast and just doesn’t want it to end. Does she? Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge, the dolls would be roasting each other – Gladiators style, for reasons – the judges and their eliminated sisters. Immediately filling DeDe with fear, given she isn’t a known comedy queen, while Michael and Ginger are. Speaking of Michael, she was motivated and ready to dominate. Thankfully, DeDe does have a leg up though, as the person that survived last week, she was given the power to decide the order.

After Ru left, the dolls sat down to kiki with DeDe vowing to try her best to hurt both Michael and Ginger’s chances. Michael immediately requested to go first, while Ginger wisely stayed quiet and Tomara flagged first or second, in the hope of bringing high energy and forcing everyone to match it. Ginger meanwhile hilariously got in DeDe’s head and told her going first will be great, as no one can steal your jokes. Though sadly she gave it to Tomara, snatched second for herself, put Ginger in third and left Michael to close the show. Despite her requesting first, which she assured us, was a mistake.

They split up to talk through their plan, with Ginger and Michael reading DeDe for filth as they all wondered how pressed Vicki will get by their reads. Alan dropped by to kiki with the dolls and ugh, he is just the best, no? He told them teeth jokes are tired as we’ve all heard them, so try to be fresh. The dolls quizzed him about his process before sharing their plans, with Tomara looking to be Tomara and just vibe and do her. Which is beloved by the judges, so smart. DeDe meanwhile didn’t want to be too mean and going by her trial, that won’t be an issue. A lack of laughs, however, may be one.

After Alan left, the dolls split up to beat their mugs as DeDe questioned whether northerners are just more funny. With the trio opening up about how difficult it can be growing up there, so they have to find humour where they can. DeDe spoke up about how bullied she was in school, though thankfully she found her tribe in high school and life opened up to her and ugh, it was just a lovely story. Ginger opened up about being a rugby player and how it was her way to fit in and protect herself, and how it was more drag than drag, given it isn’t her vibe. 

Ru, Michelle and Alan took their places on the panel alongside Aisling Bea as the eliminated queens filled out the audience ready for more humiliation. As the Dragiators Roast kicked off, Tomara was 100% Tomara and ugh, it was a slay. She leant into the Gladiator schtick and brutalised everyone. Except for Michelle, who just got compliments. DeDe too was solid with some absolute savage reads – poor Aisling and her 1 out of 10 cat looks – and damn, if she didn’t bomb despite her nerves, is anyone? Ginger opened with a death drop and went a mile a minute spitting joke after joke and having everyone in stitches. And then, somehow, Michael was even better delivering a blistering, brutal set that had everyone begging to be read. Without even referring to a card.

On the Poofs on Parade runway DeDe was glorious in a golden, shimmering, puffy pantsuit. Tomara was ravishing in a full length lace gown with a boofy bottom – we’re all bottoms, obvi – giving body with the seethrough and yeah, its a win. Ginger was a gloriously hooped, hypercolour damsel before Michael closed the show with a sickening asymmetrical puffer jacket, complete with Angelina leg.

Tomara received wall to wall praise despite the judges not really knowing what they were watching, but she was all energy and so charming. And when it came to the runway, they lived for her giving glamour. DeDe was praised for some stellar jokes and not letting the ones that didn’t land get her down. Though she was deemed the star of the runway this week, as a human ferrero rocher. As is tradition, Ginger was absolutely beloved despite a reliance on her cards, and her power of always doing something different on the runway. Michael meanwhile got even better marks, and they loved her old rich euro doll vibe on the runway.

Backstage the top four got to kiki with the eliminated queens including Naomi’s tits, however not Cara, who was sick. Ginger shared she did well, while Vicki praised Michael for absolutely dominating. DeDe spoke about how proud of her the judges were, though admitted she is still nervous. While Tomara was happy to get good critiques, though turned attention to Vicki to find out who she wasn’t rooting for. With her awkwardly, aggressively pointing out she thinks DeDe is awful and sneaky. And like, what? Calm down Vicki, you’re just bitter you’re a filler on the season. Thankfully Ginger stepped in for DeDe to assure her that is not how she is and she knows she isn’t sneaky. DeDe meanwhile, was kind and apologised to Alexis, again, who reiterated that all is forgiven. Begging the question, Vicki, what’s good?

Ginger and Michael were both deemed stars, with the latter taking out her third win while both of them were sent through to the finale. Leaving Tomara and DeDe to battle it out for the final slot to my nemesis Annie Lennox’s Little Bird. And while DeDe once again slayed the game, Tomara was fired up and desperate to stick around, hitting every lyric and giving light and shade. And as such, booked her ticket to the finale, sending DeDe out of the competition. Finally.

As DeDe arrived backstage, I pulled her and her breastplate in for a massive hug and assured her that like in Australian Survivor, fourth place in Drag Race UK is for icons only and as such, she kinda won. Which is lapped right up, thrilled with the peptalk and to be in the company of one Ms Hole. So all we had to do was laugh at Vicki’s grab for screentime in untucked and plot how she could make it to the end of All Stars. Because you know she is coming back like you know I love a CanDeDeLicious Corn Shots.

While we kinda missed the boat for Halloween, in the words of Season 7 Mrs Kasha Davis, there is always time for a cocktail. Or at the very least a jello shot. And TBH, I would argue these are even better than candied corn. Sweet and punchy, I don’t think I’m alone in that assessment.

Enjoy!

CanDeDeLicious Corn Shots
Makes: 20.
Tweaked from A Beautiful Mess.

Ingredients
2 cups water
3 gelatin leaves
200g sweetened condensed milk
1 cup vodka
yellow food colouring
85g orange jelly crystals

Method
Pour a cup of water into a saucepan and add 2 leaves of gelatin. Warm over low heat, stirring infrequently, or until dissolved. Remove from the pan and stir in half the can of condensed milk until combined. Add ⅔ cup of vodka, stir, divide into two bowls. Divide half amongst 20 shot glasses, pop on a tray and transfer to the fridge to set for half an hour. 

While that is setting, combine the remaining water with the remaining gelatin leaf and cook over low heat until dissolved. Remove from heat and stir in the orange jelly and the remaining vodka. Remove from heat and allow to chill. When the white jelly is set, pour the orange into the shot glasses to add the second layer and then transfer to the fridge to set for another half an hour.

Finally, stir a few drops of yellow food colouring in the remaining jelly. Divide amongst the shots, return to the fridge and leave until fully set. Then half an hour or so later, toss back and devour.


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Kendra McQucranberrie Sauce

Condiment, Sauce, Survivor, Survivor 45, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor the final pre-merge journey continued to loom over the season as Austin smarted over being robbed of a sandwich by J. Maya and Kellie, who wanted advantages. We were also reminded that Bruce found an idol, just before leaving Lulu beach. Which came into play in the present, as Kellie was worried about Bruce’s idol potentially leading to her copping strays, given he was telling everyone they were tightly aligned. Everyone wanted to lock in a Bruce blindside however he won immunity, which quickly led to everyone flipping to take out Jake instead. Given this is new era Survivor, however, the Rebas chose they couldn’t trust Jake to not have a bag of tricks and flipped the vote to Kellie instead. And she was angry. While Austin now had a second idol.

Back at camp Kendra was heartbroken to be without her bestie (not Bruce’s), sadly cheersing the dark sea all alone. While by the shelter Jake was loudly celebrating and laughing about still being in the game. Despite the joy, he realised he had zero idea what was going on at camp and knew he needed to pivot. Hard. Bruce meanwhile was salty about his closest ally being taken out, assuming it meant he was the original target. The Rebas, however, told him the actual (fake) reason they booted her is because she actually wanted to take out Bruce. Dee and Austin explained that she felt he was overbearing and TBH, you could see the exact moment his heart broke. Katurah and Kendra meanwhile were heartbroken to have lost their actual bestie, though Kendra realised Kellie was a threat and would also vote for her if she makes it to the end, so she wasn’t that mad. Though she was now keen to come for Dee. Katurah took this information to the Rebas in the hope she could be pulled into their alliance, with everyone now trying to decide if Jake or Kendra is the best person to target while flushing Bruce’s idol.

The next day Bruce was still hurt by the news Kellie was after him as he sat on the beach. He returned to camp, dejected, quietly sulking by the fire as everyone tried to bring him in. He then spoke about his fear that he is overbearing with his daughter and ugh, this is actually really hard to watch, as that comment really seems to have broken him. And just like that, I love Bruce. Particularly knowing he is energetic and upbeat because he grew up in the foster care system where he always had to adapt and be positive. Drew meanwhile picked up on his energy and just decided reality got to him. Which we now know is not a nuanced read. Emily pulled Drew and Austin aside to float the idea of getting rid of Dee, just to see whether their three person alliance is the priority. However, seeing how quickly they cut it down, I think she is ready to make a move elsewhere. Despite how hard Austin tried to sell Dee as the ultimate meatshield for them.

Drew went off to collect treemail asking everyone to split into trios for the upcoming immunity challenge, though were assured only one person would win immunity. With no context about why they are trios, Dee, Drew and Jake formed one, Austin, Emily and Katurah another leaving Kendra, Julie and Bruce together. Filling Julie with dread, since she is an obvious target if just three go to tribal council, leading to Austin handing over an idol.

After they met up with Probst, they got the good news that it would still be a nine person tribal council and that their teams would just be for the first two stages of the challenge. First one being they have to retrieve discs and balance a ball on it as they walk a balance beam before digging rope rungs, last group being eliminated. Second one, they’d use the rungs to form a ladder and land three balls on small rings, the last group, again, eliminated while the final three have to balance plates against discs, with the last one standing winning immunity. Oh and the winning trio would get to go to the Sanctuary to smash a roast chicken. And the first group eliminated will also lose their vote at tribal council, though they could win theirs back on a journey.

And again, stop with the twists as there could have been a blindside with nine votes in play.

Dee, Drew and Jake got out to an early lead on round one before Jake struggled on the balance beam and put them squarely in last place. The other groups powered ahead until Bruce struggled, leaving Emily, Austin and Katurah to start digging their rungs solo. Everyone caught up as Dee, Drew and Jake powered through and made it to round two first, followed by Julie singlehanded getting her team over the line, forcing Emily, Austin and Katurah to lose their votes. While Dee, Drew and Jake got out to an early lead in round two, Bruce, Julie and Kendra made quick work of the baskets and overtook them and made it through to the final round. The trio lined up with the discs, with all of them wobbling almost instantly. After an epic struggle, Kendra eventually dropped as Bruce and Julie faced off yet again before the latter tragically dropped and handed Bruce immunity. Again.

We followed the mids back to camp where Jake, Drew and Dee opted to avoid strategising before they have information about who will actually be voting and as such, made themselves a big pot of rice. As Jake went for a wander, Dee and Drew portioned up the rice and giddily took extra, while talking about the plan ahead. With surprise, surprise, Dee wanting to get rid of Kendra. Oh and then they realised they didn’t save Jake any rice, so instead let him eat the stuff burnt on to the bottom of the pan.

Over at the Sanctuary the trio were feeling good as they smashed the chicken and kikied, with Kendra admitting she is nervous about the vote ahead. Julie lied about being on the bottom of the Reba alliance, as Kendra floated the idea of getting rid of Dee to break up her and Austin, despite the fact she believes they are in love and wants them to get married. Julie threw out Jake as an option instead and while Kendra loved hearing anyone but her, Julie was still nervous things wouldn’t play out her way and she wouldn’t be able to get her revenge.

We finally checked in with the losers on their journey as they trekked to the top of the mountain and learnt that to win their votes back, they would have to do a maths problem. And while I thought they would all be able to slay it, Emily and Katurah crumbled under the pressure while Austin jagged his vote back at the very last moment. 

Drew and Jake were talking about the confusion about the vote ahead as the groups came together back at camp. The losers announced that only none of them earned their vote back before Austin pulled his allies aside to assure them it was a lie and as such, he actually has a vote and they, a majority. So they can power ahead with a vote to get rid of Kendra. Only Julie filled them in on the fact the Sanctuary people agreed to get rid of Jake and since it was better for her game, that is what she wanted to do. Kendra meanwhile was spiralling, going to Emily to let her know that Jake was the plan tonight and when she agreed it made sense, Kendra felt great. Sadly when Drew caught up with Emily she learnt it wasn’t the case and that Kendra is actually the target. And given Dee was the one to come up with it, there were more red flags for Emily.

At tribal council Kendra spoke about how heartbroken she was to lose Kellie at the last tribal council as Kellie held back tears, Kaleb holding her hands. Dee spoke about how tough it is to play the game, given you are playing with people’s lives. Jake spoke about the shock, given he assumed to be going home and while he survived, he does hate that he is clearly at the bottom. Talk turned to Julie and Bruce being the challenge beasts, though Julie added that she would like to actually jag the win. Bruce then spoke about winning back-to-back immunities and the risk it makes him a target. Talk turned to the vote losers with Drew talking about how difficult it is to figure out a plan tonight, given they aren’t exactly sure who is voting. That made Kendra get paranoid, not realising people may have lied about getting their votes back. While Jake was just looking for a friend and willing to be used, given he is one of the guaranteed votes.

With that the tribe voted – Austin very speedily – before Kendra was gagged to be blindsided. While Jake was once again surprised to survive, almost becoming a bit of a lol that he keeps being dragged along through now power of his own. But enough about Jake, this is about the second coming of Drew Barrymore, our queen, Kendra. As she arrived at Ponderosa, I pulled her in for a massive hug and thanked her for being such a glorious bright point of the season. She was not just a light spirit, she was also a fun, quirky character and so exceedingly watchable. And I look forward to her second season. So wheeled out a vat of Kendra McQucranberrie Sauce to fuel our planning session.

Sweet, tart and spicy, this glorious sauce has it all and while it is traditionally a sauce associated with Thanksgiving, it is something you will come round year round.

Enjoy!

Kendra McQucranberrie Sauce
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
100g muscovado sugar
100ml freshly squeezed orange juice, and zest from the associated oranges
250g frozen cranberries
1 tsp cinnamon
¼ tsp allspice
a pinch of ground nutmeg

Method
Combine the sugar, orange juice and zest in a pan and bring to the boil. Once the sugar has dissolved, stir in the cranberries and simmer for 5 minutes, or until tender. Stir in the spices and cook for another couple of minutes to infuse.

Remove from the heat and allow to cool for a little before transferring to steralised jars, closing and leaving to cool completely. Then devour.


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Katella Danitch

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race UK the dolls starred in high-end English drama screen tests. And after dominating the puppet mini-challenge, Ginger was able to lock in the pairs. Wisely taking Kate for herself and splitting up Tomara and Michael, so they wouldn’t rival them as a comedic powerhouse. Obviously Kate and Ginger slayed the most with Kate finally take out her first win of the season. Despite struggling through filming, DeDe and Tomara were demented messes. Cara meanwhile struggled to give light and shade while Michael was read for not doing more. As such, they were arbitrarily popped in the bottom, where Michael sent poor Cara home.

Backstage the dolls were gagged by the fact Cara went home, none more so than Michael who was overwhelmed with emotion about almost going home. And having to send Cara out the door to save herself. Everyone spoke about how this elimination felt different to the others and that they were at a loss for words. Well, except for Kate, who joked that Michael shouldn’t be, given Cara left a mirror message for her to read. The dolls sat down and finally praised Kate for a well earned win, with she and Ginger telling Michael that Ru couldn’t take her eyes off her during the lip sync. DeDe meanwhile admitted she thought Michael would be going home and while everyone felt it was in poor taste, they got her back by reading her for absolute filth.

The next day Tomara was ready to sink her veneers into the next challenge, while everyone admired Kate’s badge. Well maybe not DeDe, given she is the only person without one now. Before anyone could read her for that, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be welcoming a new addition into their families. That’s right, it’s the makeover challenge! And this year, they would be doing-up charity hotline workers. And for winning the last challenge, Kate was able to pair them up. DeDe was paired with an absolute zaddy, Jamie. Ginger got the other zaddy, the bearded Rodrigo, just what she didn’t want. Michael was connected with old cutie daddy DILF Peter while Tomara got gorgeous young Gemma, leaving Kate with cool icon Xan.

After Ru left, the dolls split up to get to know their dolls, with Ginger learning her partner’s dissertation was about Drag Race. And when he agreed to shave off his beard, they were in love. Ginger opened up about Rodrigo being her first child and ugh, I love it. DeDe was falling in love with Jamie, vowing to serve family resemblance in a different way. So you know Michelle will hate it. Ginger meanwhile was popping Rodrigo in heels and while she struggled, Ginger was so supportive, I love it. Kate and Xan were busy kiking about the hotline before a hard pivot into the plan for the performance, with Kate delighting her with the ONJ plan for their looks. Tomara meanwhile was delighting Gemma, laughing it up and having an absolute ball. Michael and Peter were just vibing. And while Michael was nervous about Peter struggling, she could also tell he was ready to have a ball and may just be her best asset.

Ru made her return with Ginger and Rodrigo having her in stitches, while Ru was very focused on the fact Rodrigo has a beard. Kate meanwhile was thrilled to have her win and hoping for a double, if she could make Xan as ugly as her. And hearing her talk about the charity, I don’t think that is possible, TBH, as she is just beautiful. DeDe continued to swoon around Jamie, which only got worse when Ru asked Jamie if she’d have a meaty tuck. Making DeDe confident she will grab a win. Michael on the other hand gushed about Peter, excited for him to be able to let his freak flag fly and embrace his diva. She then opened up about lip syncing to Liza Minelli as a kid and condragulations Michael, Geezer Minelli just jagged you your second win. While Tomara and Gemma were cute, Ru got in their heads about how heavy the wigs are.

After Ru left, Ginger tried to talk Rodrigo through tucking, even enlisting Tomara to explain how to suck the testicles back into her body. Xan meanwhile locked in Femily Bronte as a drag name, while DeDe worried her outfits weren’t similar enough. While Michael and Peter focused on walking, and Tomara was cackling over how big the wig looked on Gemma.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to get their daughters ready. Ginger with a ceremonial shave of Rodrigo. Michael and Peter meanwhile spoke about growing up queer, with Peter sharing a moment when he was watching a TV show with a queer character and how his dad told him it was brave. Sadly he didn’t think it was as brave when he came out, with his parents sending him to the doctor who told him that he wasn’t gay, given his wrists weren’t limp. Thankfully his parents did accept him, with Peter then moving on to opening up about his first few boyfriends dying and how he joined the hotline to help throughout the AIDS crisis. And again, condragulations Peter, you’re an icon. DeDe meanwhile was still horny for Jamie. I assume, maybe it is just me. Tomara and Gemma were talking about the latter’s girlfriend, while Jamie was equally horny for herself in drag.

Ru, Michelle and Graham were joined on the panel by the legendary Daphne Guinness as the Drag Family Resemblance runway kicked off with DeDe and BeBe giving 80s party girls. And while it was cute, you know the judges will read her for making DeDe look better than BeBe. Kate and Femily gave gay Grease and it was cute, but not family, tragically, despite being an ode to the trans flag. Michael and Geezer meanwhile absolute slayed, giving charm and glam and while Geezer couldn’t walk, the way Michael raised her up has to be a win with the judges. Giant G and Tomara looked like the campest outcasts from Clueless, Ginger and Ruiva gave glam ‘60s long-lost sisters and well, Ruiva was living it up and full of camp. And is this another Ginger win?

After Ru thanked the drag babies, the judges praised Jamie for being a zaddy and while they lived for DeDe’s work, they hated the lack of family resemblance. Kate and Femily while delightful, gave even less resemblance than DeDe. Though Kate was thrilled by the fact Daphne called her makeup mesmerising, so thats a win to her. Michael and Geezer received 10s across the board for each and every thing she did. Michael’s pared back makeup was a win, Geezer nailing the walk was delightful and well, everyone was moved by just how great Peter was. Geezer then delighted the judges with jokes before opening up about how this experience has relaxed him and how he finally feels whole. And he wants to share love with everyone and shit, I am crying. Tiny T and Giant G were praised for selling all the fun, giving big hair and all the family. While Ginger and Ruiva were universally beloved, despite giving Trixie and Bianca, which is hilarious. And true. As was the fact their looks were perfect, as were their hair and make-up.

Backstage the dolls toasted their sisters, thanking them for doing them all so proud. Ginger was thrilled to definitely not be in the bottom, and quietly optimistic this could be her fourth win. Michael meanwhile heaped her daughter in praise, thanking her for all she did. Kate’s daughter thanked her for a fun day, while BeBe opened up about being shocked by how beautiful she was. While Giant G just vibed hard. Tomara turned their attention to the lip sync, with DeDe and Kate ready to go given they know they got the worst critiques. And while DeDe was all laughs, Kate was a little more disappointed.

Ultimately Kate was sent straight to the bottom before Tomara was sent to safety. Michael was then deemed the winner of this week’s challenge as Peter nearly broke into tears backstage. Ginger was then sent to safety, leaving DeDe as the final person in the bottom. Though once again, she was ready to send a badge holder home. Despite the confidence, as soon as Rina Sawayama’s This Hell kicked off, it was clear that Kate wasn’t going to be as easy a win as she wanted. She gave drama and camp and you could tell she did not want to go home. Sadly for Miss Butch, though, DeDe was demented and funny and had the judges in stitches, so she did manage to save herself yet again, leaving Kate to sadly exit.

As Kate returned to the Werk Room, I pulled her in for a massive hug, pulled back, looked in her face and screamed. Thankfully, she knew I was just joking about how the judges read her make-up over the season, given she has gone from strength to strength each week and TBH, will be able to go all the way on All Stars. But that is another conversation for another time. I assured her that she was an icon over the course of her run, and that the public, like me, will love seeing her take over the world in a Trixie-esque fashion, TBH. And that was all it took to perk her back up, though I’m sure the Katella Danitch didn’t hurt either!

If there are two things I love in life, they are pastry and nutella. And given this little baby combines them both, you know I think they’re perfection. Flaky party and velevety nutella work together to provide a melt in the mouth snack that washes away the pain of being underappreciated by Ru. Not that I’ve had to worry about that before.

Enjoy!

Katella Danitch
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 ½ cup nutella
½ cup icing sugar
1 egg
3 sheets good-quality butter puff pastry, quartered
½ cup roasted hazelnuts, roughly chopped

Method
Preheat the oven to 200ºC. 

Beat a cup of the nutella with the icing sugar and egg until smooth and glorious.

To assemble, place the puff on a clean bench and cut into to long strips. Divide the mixture between the six layers and smooth down the pastry leaving 10cm at each short end, but going right up to the long edges. If that makes sense, because it does in my head. Part fold-part roll to form a loose domed rectangle. Pop on a lined baking sheet, brush with the remaining nutella and sprinkle with the nuts.

Transfer the danishes into the oven and bake for 20 minutes, or until golden and puffed. And then, devour, like an icon in need of a non-tree crutch.


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Kellie Nalbandia Maria Chocolate Christmas Cake

Baking, Cake, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 45, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Bruce jagged an idol moments before the first phase of the non-merge portion of the game. As the boat approached shore, he enlisted the help of everyone else in the tribe to collect it, though decided to keep it a secret from his nemesis Katurah. After they were split into two groups – why merge, you ask? Who knows – to each eliminate someone, Kaleb filled her in to make sure she wasn’t angry with him. But over to the other group where Kellie was debating when to turn on Bruce, though instead stuck with Drew and her Belos to take out Sifu. After he was sent all the way home, Katurah confronted Jake about keeping the idol secret from her. While Jake and Kaleb thought they had won her over enough to force a tie and take out Julie, Katurah banded with the Rebas to take out Kaleb to become the king of the jury.

As the first group arrived back at camp, everyone was thrilled to have made the jury. Though Drew did admit that getting rid of Sifu was harder than he thought, particularly since it gave Bruce a win in the game, which nobody wanted. When the groups came together, nobody was exactly surprised that Kaleb was gone. Though you best believe Jake felt awkward about trying to save Kaleb, given it made him an outsider. And he regretted being reckless. To his credit, he pulled Julie aside to clear the air, admitting that his vote was more to save Kaleb, not to take her out. And while they pretended to be all good, it was clear Julie was going to get revenge.

The next day the dolls noticed that they had a numbers advantage over the men and as such, thought that maybe they should form an alliance and take control. While the boys were focused on tacos, all the girls agreed it was a great idea and maybe it was finally the right time to get rid of Bruce. While Julie admitted to us that she still trusts Drew and Austin, given they all have a mutual target, maybe it could work. Kellie on the other hand just wanted the albatross around her neck gone.

A boat then arrived at shore, featuring a table with bowls glued on top. Thoroughly confused, name cards were laid out before Kendra read treemail announcing that they would be participating in the Survivor Auction. Finally, finally, giving us what we want! Of course it was going to come with a twist, the first being that they had to go find tubes of cash hidden in the jungle for them to spend. Everyone split up hunting for the money, with Bruce choosing to take it super easy, finishing with just $80 to spend at auction. While Dee and Austin were the richest with $900 and $700 apiece.

When they met Jeffrey in the jungle, he immediately announced that unlike in the past, there will be no advantages on offer. At all. And the third twist? 15 items will be up for grabs, 5 confirmed and the rest decided by rockdraw and finishing without notice. Why does that matter, though? Well the person with the most money leftover at the conclusion of the auction loses their vote at the upcoming tribal council. First up were pretzels and beer, which went to Kendra for $360, exhausting her money in the process and guaranteeing she holds on to her vote. Fries and coke went to Kellie for $500, Emily bought a covered item for $440 which was thankfully not bat soup, instead a massive charcuterie and wine. Oh and now she has $60 left, meaning she is likely keeping her vote too. Dee went all in with $900 to jag her milkshake, likely just to retain her vote.

The next covered item went to Katurah for $480. Feeling like it could be a dud, Probst offered her the chance to trade out for something else. Sadly she opted to keep the original, which were two giant fish eyeballs. Which Austin bought on resale for $100. Though at least Katurah kept her vote, no? Drew went all in on item 6 for $520, which was just a bowl of candy. Austin snatched a piece of pizza for $600. A toothbrush and mouthwash went to Julie for $420, the next item was chocolate cake for three, which went to Jake for $340 and was shared with Julie and Bruce. Kellie then bought a sandwich, chips and marg for $200, leaving Bruce to now be the richest person left on the bleachers. And sadly, there were no other items available, meaning he was the poorest going in and also lost his vote.

Back at camp everyone was giddy from the food and sugar, with Kendra talking about how great it was to burn through all her cash on the first item and just be able to chill. She then shared that the beer was special to her, as she didn’t know her biological father until she was 18 years old. When she reached out and met, they shared a beer and as such it reminded her of him and gave him a special toast. Which was super cute.

Everyone was chilling out and going for a swim, so Emily caught up with Drew and assured him that she is his ride or die. And then squealed on the girls alliance – boo – and while that sucks for us, she assured him that Jake and Bruce are the targets, so he is fine. And damn, Emily, that upsets me. Drew meanwhile was thrilled to have the information and given Bruce is everyone’s target, he, Austin and Julie approached Katurah by the well and assured her they can work together, and hey, she can even pick the target. And what do you know, she said Bruce?!

The tribe caught up with Probst for the immunity challenge, which Bruce is totally winning based on the timing, no? But back to the challenge. Everyone would need to hold onto a rope holding up a log with the last person standing without dropping winning immunity. Adding yet another wrinkle to the challenge, Jeff offered the tribe a massive bag of rice for the last ten days of the game if four people sit out. Dee and Emily instantly offered, with Katurah asking for an incentive. Which led to Probst stabbing the bag and letting rice bleed out until two more people offered, with Drew jumping straight out before Katurah eventually joined them. After 20 minutes Kellie and Kendra dropped in quick succession, before Austin and Jake dropped after 25 minutes leaving the two oldies to battle it out for immunity. Tragically though, Julie couldn’t do it for the dolls, as Bruce jagged immunity and screwed over all the plans. Just as predicted.

Back at camp everyone pretended to be thrilled for Bruce, which actually annoyed the shit out of literally everyone. None more so than Kellie, who was so very annoyed by the fact Bruce gets to be the spectator at tribal and as she appears to be close to Bruce, she was worried she could be the other back-up. Everyone was scared to throw out a name other than Jake, however, which made Jake realise he was the target and that the Shot in the Dark may be his only option. Instead of locking that in, he got to work visibly hunting for an idol before Katurah offered to go babysit him. He then approached Bruce to see if he’d be willing to play his idol for him, which Bruce obviously wasn’t interested in.

Drew was still nervous, though, so pulled the Reba four and Emily aside to float the idea of taking out Kellie instead, given she holds more power than Bruce and that nobody actually seems to think anyone but Jake is a target. And then after locking in Kellie, Drew immediately grew paranoid that giving Jake another chance could be a grave mistake. Which means Jake is bringing down Drew if he survives the night, mark my words.

At tribal council Bruce tried to talk about breaking a record by losing his vote but being immune. Thankfully it was brushed aside, with Drew reminding everyone that his generosity should be rewarded, while Jake shat on it, pointing out it isn’t charitable, it just means people feel safe. As he stumbled over Jeff’s questions, he eventually threw out a pitch, pointing out a dogpile is never the right move, and the other people on the bottom will regret not making a move if he goes, given it means they will likely be next. Kellie agreed he made some good points, while Dee was sure everyone was still united tonight. Which Jake pointed out was a bad move. Katurah too agreed that Jake did make good points, but it is only true if their next move isn’t solid. Emily said that Jake is just too focused on it being him, with Jake deliberately stumbling yet again, talking about playing his idol. Which Katurah called super concerning.

With that the tribe nervously voted before Jake played his Shot in the Dark, sadly not jagging immunity in the process. After three votes piled up on him, he thought he was done before the Belo women were well and truly gagged to see the rest of the votes pile up on Kellie as she was blindsided from the game. Angry and heartbroken, annoyed at Emily and in shock as Kendra watched on in tears. 

As she arrived at the jury, I pulled her in for a massive hug. And while she immediately pushed me away and as I flew through the air and onto the ground, it is said that my heart doubled in size that day. I came running back, screaming about how much of an icon she is and how grateful I was to be a part of the rage. For some reason, she assumed I was joking and as such started laughing, thanking me for breaking the tension. And while I was confused, we laughed and became besties before smashing a slice or two of Kellie Nalbandia Maria Chocolate Christmas Cake.

I used to hate the entire concept of fruit cakes as a child, but obviously, I aged and my palate refined. Thanks in no small part to recipes like this one. Rich and fruity, with a punch of chocolate and coffee, it is a combination that can turn even the grinchiest grinch into a festive fiend. So thanks, Nigella.

Enjoy!

Kellie Nalbandia Maria Chocolate Christmas Cake
Serves: 8-12.

Ingredients
350g prunes
250g raisins
125g currants
50g candied orange peel
175g soft unsalted butter
175g dark muscovado sugar
175ml honey
125ml tia maria 
2 oranges, zested and juiced
1 ½ tsp mixed spice
¼ cup cocoa
3 eggs
150g flour
75g almond meal
½ tsp baking powder
½ tsp bicarb soda

Method
Preheat the oven to 130°C and double-line the sides and bottom of a 20cm round, deep, cake tin, making sure the paper comes up twice the height of the tin. 

Put the fruit, butter, sugar, runny honey, tia maria, juice and zest, spices and cocoa into a large saucepan and bring to a gentle boil,until the butter melts. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes, and then take off the heat and leave to stand for half an hour.

Once it has cooled, beat in the eggs, flour, almond meal, baking powder and bicarb, and stir until combined.

Pour the batter into the prepared cake tin, and pop in the oven and bake for 1¾–2 hours, or until the cake is firm to touch, but shiny and sticky. And most importantly, an inserted skewer will come out a little gooey in the middle.

Remove from the heat and transfer to a cooling rack, where the cake will continue to set using the residual heat. Cover in sprinkles and decorations, before devouring greedily. Or wrapping in foil and popping in a tin until Christmas. But, like, why wait?


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Ladies and gentleman, this is the Countess judging

Canada's Drag Race 4, Canada’s Drag Race, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

I know, I know, Canada’s Drag Race is returning for another season and it is iconic. I mean, one of their alum are so beloved by Ru, they got to dominate a US All Stars season. 

(Love you Jimbo!).

But the fact that Countess Luann de Lesseps is not only making her Drag Race judging debut, but presumably judging a rusical or girl groups – don’t fuck it up, Brooke – it has me feeling jovani. And TBH, is all I can think about.

But enough about Lu – for now – as Canada does hold a special place in my heart with their kind spirits, cute reads and passion for puns. So no doubt, Brooke’s latest dolls will distract me soon enough.

Or not, money can’t buy you class. And that’s just the girl code, ok?

Who will be the latest doll to join the Juice Boxx Club? Check in next week as I join them to provide culinary comfort. Or talk about Luann and only Luann. Again.

📷: Crave.


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Christmas Burgera Melle

Burgers, Main, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race UK the dolls, finally, played the Snatch Game. And while the UK always delivers a better than average game, there is always quite a range in the performances. For every Ginger, for instance, there is a Sugar’s Miley. As hinted at Ginger slayed, yet again, delivering a masterclass on her way to securing her third win in a row. Kate meanwhile broke through and dominated. While Tomara Tomaraed, and obviously had Ru cackling as Cara surprised with a fun turn. At the other end of the pack, Vicki was one note and in her head while DeDe was just there. Sadly for Vicki, when it came to the lip sync, DeDe was more than just there, turning a show and slaying the game, sending Vicki back to Cornish. Presumably to have a pasty.

Backstage DeDe was gagged to have sent another badge holder home, before everyone was gagged to discover said badge holder had left a shady, shady mirror message. Michael then suggested that maybe DeDe was busy taking souls and growing in power, while Ginger just wished she brought the fire and comedy in the challenges instead and was able to realise her powers. Kate meanwhile was primed and ready for a win, given she is now in the top three and just needs to take another step. Oh and as they split up to de-drag, DeDe pointed out that Vicki probs doesn’t like Cara for being loud. Which is iconic of DeDe.

The top six returned the next day with everyone very jealous to see Ginger pulling away with a third badge on her chest, while Michael reminded us that the race is a marathon and she is still backing herself. Cara opened up about feuding with her inner saboteur before Kate tried to bring things back to memorialising Vicki, though all Michael cared about was getting her next badge.

Ru dropped by for a little mini challenge with puppets, because why? Everybody loves puppets, that’s why! First up to the gloryhole was Cara who pulled out Ginger, Michael grabbed Cara, Tomara jagged Michael, Kate got DeDe and DeDe got Tomara leaving Ginger to roast Kate. After they dragged up their felted friends, the dolls’ got to work reading with Cara so very, very bad it was iconic. Michael thankfully read Cara for filth and had a ball, Tomara gave manic energy and at least had herself giggling, while Kate too, was a bomb. Though at least she pissed off DeDe. DeDe in turn was having a ball as she bombed before Ginger, thankfully, made Michael feel less alone by reading Kate the house down boots. And ugh, crown her now, she is perfection.

Rightfully Ginger took out yet another victory, before Ru announced that for this week’s maxi challenge, the girls would be paired up and starring in screen tests Footballers Wags, Holedark or Femmerdale. All where two women vie for the attention of a hunk. And for winning the mini, Ginger was in charge of the pairings, jagging Kate for herself and cursing Michael with Cara and leaving DeDe and Tomara to have fun. And you know that was strategic and again, crown Ginger, she is a damn icon.

After Ru departed the dolls sat down to read through the scripts and fight over the shows. Cara was desperate to play one of the WAGs, which is coincidentally the one Kate and Ginger wanted. Though given Cara stepped aside from her dream role in the rusical, Ginger kindly stepped aside and took Holedark for her duo. So, I guess Kate and Ginger are winning and Cara is gone, right? Tomara meanwhile was nervous about being paired with DeDe, given she is becoming a power bottom. Cara and Michael on the other hand were vibing, and maybe I have read this all wrong. The one thing I know is that Tomara and DeDe are safe, because Ru will love them being unable to do the accents.

Michael and Cara were first up to film with Michelle and Zaddy Jacob from the Pit Crew, and while Cara was full Cara, Michael was a charming, wild cougar. Particularly since she did her own sound effects. The dolls from Holedark slayed from start to finish, chewing up the scenery, the Pit Crew and the set, TBH. Tomara and DeDe, however, were wild, unhinged and so much bloody fun, whether they could nail an accent or not. Or remember any damn lines at all. 

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls thriving and vibing, as they split up to beat their mugs for the runway. Ginger opened up about somehow swallowing a trio of sewing needles once, leading to a bunch of injuries. This got the girls opening up, with Cara talking about cracking her skull, and Michael busted her knee and hole.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by the one and only Joel Dommett – he is hot and hosts Survivor, so I will stan – as Michael opened up the Pajamarama Runway looking an absolutely stunning, fucked-up mess, Cara meanwhile was a sexy, sleeping beauty and Kate Butch gave black and white glamazonian. Who died on the runway, looking beautiful in the process. I mean, she was flawless. Ginger gave Dolly Parton playgirl for John Waters, DeDe gave full plushie before Tomara closed the show doing the sluttier, Barbarella version of DeDe’s look.

When it came to the scenes Cara and Michael were a solid, salacious duo, though TBH, the scene was just boring. Michael received wall to wall praise for the scene and the runway, while Cara was read for being at 100 the entire time, despite doing really well. And showing diversity on the runway. Kate and Ginger’s scene was absolute perfection as the duo squeezed every laugh out of all the moments. Kate was completely beloved for everything she gave in the scene and for turning it out on the runway. Even giving a glorious mug. Ginger too got top marks for everything she did, begging the question, is she about to get her fourth badge in a damn row? DeDe and Tomara’s scene was surprisingly hilarious, given they were stupid and silly in every moment. DeDe was read for being on the struggle bus during the shoot, but her runway was deemed cute. Tomara on the other hand was beloved for being wild, and they were delighted by the runway.

Before Ru ominously praised the dolls for all doing well, making it a difficult choice ahead.

Backstage the dolls quickly grabbed their drinks and toasted each other for having the best time and turning it out. Tomara meanwhile was proud of herself and ready to silence her self-doubt, while Kate was very hopeful about taking out her first win of the season. And just as hopeful she wouldn’t have to share with Ginger. Michael meanwhile was a little confused, thrilled to receive praise though feeling like she will still be in the bottom. While Cara was just outright nervous, given how the rest of the dolls’ critiques went.

Ginger was sent to safety before Kate, rightly, jagged her first badge of the season. Ru then announced that it was a difficult decision to figure out the bottom two, though sadly it was Michael and Cara, as DeDe and Tomara were sent to safety. Despite being gutted, the dolls slayed Touch Me (I Want Your Body) by the one and only Samantha Fox. And well, their looks were perfect for the song, both the dolls were fired up and in the pocket from start to finish. Despite both of them slaying, however, there have already been too many non-eliminations and as such, through tears, Michael was sent to safety before Cara was shown the door.

As Cara arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and reminded her to hold her head up high. I mean, it is always a little easier to be eliminated in an episode where everyone does well, particularly since it lends itself to being seen as a robbed goddess. And that was all she needed to hear to cheer her up. Though, honestly, how could you be annoyed while smashing a Christmas Burgera Melle.

Yeah, yeah, it is only November, but it is the festive season, damnit, and I will not hear it. I’ve been hearing it for months now! Plus, when a burger tastes this good, don’t complain and just be happy. Spiced, rich and warm, once you try it, you will never worry about getting festive too soon.

Enjoy!

Christmas Burgera Melle
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
250g turkey mince
½ tsp chilli
½ tsp ground sage
¼ tsp cinnamon
salt and pepper, to taste
200g brie, sliced
½ cup Shayonnaise Swain
1 tsp cranberry sauce
2 milk buns
1 cup Nick Ciabatta Stuffing
1 cup Gabriel Mash
½ cup Howie Doriesling Gravy

Method
Combine the turkey mince, chilli, sage and cinnamon in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Scrunch to combine and form into two balls. Pop a skillet over medium heat and when hot, pop the patty in the pan and press with a spatula to flatten to about 1cm thick. Cook for a few minutes before flipping, topping with the brie and cooking for a further few minutes or until cooked through.

Combine the mayo and the cranberry sauce in a bowl.

To assemble, split the buns, smear the base with the cranberry mayo, add a dollop of mash, a lug of gravy, then the patty and brie followed by the stuffing. Then closing and devouring, like a festive icon.


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Sausage & Kaleb Pizbrewold

Main, Pizza, Snack, Street Food, Survivor, Survivor 45, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor the tribe met Probst for the first official individual immunity challenge. Only it wasn’t, because as is tradition in the new era, the tribe were split into two random groups with one person winning immunity on each group. And then each group would go to tribal council and vote someone out. To make it twistier, the person that stayed up the longest would earn their group reward and a spot on the jury. As the first person out would become the final pre-juror. After Dee and her super-toes won her group reward, the losers went back to Lulu where Drew offered up Sifu as the target to save himself. And while Kendra wanted to make a move against Bruce, Kellie was able to keep them together and along with Emily, they sent Sifu out of the game and all the way home.

But back to the other group. After the challenge, we followed Quentin Tarrantino’s dream and the team off to the Sanctuary where they joyfully smashed tacos and congratulated each other on making it to the jury. As they smashed their food, Julie spoke about how nervous she was to navigate the vote. Particularly since Kaleb has proven lucky thus far and she doesn’t want it to continue at the expense of her game. Sadly for her, Jake had firmly set his sights on taking out Julie for no other reason than it could potentially weaken Dee, who he deems the biggest threat.

Back at camp Dee and Austin caught up about the vote, with Austin suggesting it would be a good idea to keep Kaleb around, given he is a bigger threat than them and as such, will always be a target. Sadly for him, Dee was fixated on voting out Kaleb again, given it is one that won’t ruffle any feathers. They looped in Jake and Julie, and while Julie was all good, Jake was sick of being told what to do and he went to talk to Kaleb. Kaleb knew his only hope was with Katurah and as such, cautioned Jake that they need to tell her about Bruce’s idol, because if she learns about it from Austin, she is likely to flip on them too. And she is crucial to taking out Julie. Assuming that in a revote, Austin would be too scared to go to rocks and as such, would eventually join them.

Kaleb caught up with Katurah and let her know the plan to spook Austin into flipping on a revote, before he told her about Bruce’s vote. Instantly locking in her loyalty knowing that while Belo are happy to keep her in the dark, he is willing to protect her. Katurah caught up with Jake so that they could run through the plans between Julie and Kaleb, and which one would take them further. She then confronted Jake about the knowledge of the idol, with him subtly pinning the blame on Kaleb and oh god, don’t turn it on my angel.

As the other group left tribal council and the future jurors filed in, Dee spoke about putting the game on pause until they returned from the Sanctuary. And how their feast was a lovely, bonding experience. Which Jake agreed with, though also pointed out that they still need to send someone to kick off the jury. Julie spoke about thinking she was going to play the game as a robot, however she realises it is heartbreaking to send someone home. Katurah spoke about the nervousness of finally being an option to go home, given she has luckily been immune thus far, while Jake admitted he just wants to work with people he thinks will take him further. Kaleb meanwhile said that he played it differently, taking his foot off the gas to show he is willing to work and they don’t need to fear him. Dee spoke about that being great and all, but reminded him that everything relies on people buying what he is selling, too. With Katurah agreeing he has no other options, so of course he is going to say it. And given all the confusion, she will be trusting her gut tonight.

With that the group voted and tragically Katurah joined the Rebas to send Kaleb out of the game, likely to become the sweetest King of the Jury of all time. As he arrived in Ponderosa, I pulled him in for a massive hug and thanked him for being such a delightful breath of fresh air all season. More importantly, he single handedly turned Emily’s game around and allowed her to shine – ignoring Hannah’s quit saving her first, TBH – and while I loved him for himself, that heroic act delivered the season, and for that we should all be grateful. Even more so than him being a total zaddy, and such glorious company to smash a Sausage & Kaleb Pizbrewold with. Particularly since it is what cursed him out of the game.

You know I have a passion for putting sausage in my mouth, and with the addition of kale, you can argue this is healthy. Kinda. A little earthy with a kick of heat, this pizza is super easy to throw together, and will have you coming back for more and more.

Enjoy!

Sausage & Kaleb Pizbrewold
Serves: 2-4, depending on need and/or hunger.

Ingredients
2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
4 italian sausages, skins removed
4 cloves garlic, crushed
⅓ cup passata
oregano and basil, roughly chopped, to taste
1 tsp chilli flakes
2 cups shredded kale
mozzarella, to taste

Method
Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 180°C.

Pop the sausage in a skillet over medium heat and cook, breaking up into large chunks with a wooden spoon as you go for a couple of minutes. Add in the garlic and cook for a further minute, or until the sausage is just cooked through.

To assemble, smear passata over the prepared bases, sprinkle with the herbs and chilli, followed by the kale and garlicky sausage before topping, generously, with mozzarella.

Transfer to the oven and bake for fifteen minutes, or until bubbly and golden.

Serve and devour immediately, eating through the pain.


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