TV Recap

Frannberry Ice Creamarin

Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 44, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Jeffrey wheeled out the annual Angelina Keeley Memorial Rice Bartering at the immunity challenge and despite Danny encouraging everyone to power ahead without going for the food, four people sat out and secured the bag. As Danny assured them they wouldn’t be voted out. After Frannie secured another win, the tribe got to scrambling back at camp as Tika continued to play the other factions off against each other. Ratu meanwhile were focused on advantage roulette to fight a Knowledge is Power play, with Lauren handing her extra vote to Jamie to play while Jamie in turn handed her unbeknownst-to-her fake idol to Kane. Who promptly walked out the door with it in his pocket, which upset her given she still, somehow, thought it was real.

Back at camp Frannie too was shocked by Kane’s departure, given she had been expecting Jamie to go home. Danny assured her it just came together too late to let her know, however she took it as a sign she should continue to worry about Tika. Lauren too was confused given she has no idea about the plan, worried about the dwindling numbers of Ratu members and what it means for her game. Carson on the other hand was busy doing damage control with Jamie, telling her that Kane told everyone about her idol and as such, that is why he was ultimately voted out. She then obviously vowed to us that she would find a new idol – or come clean about Kane taking it with him to the jury – to get the target off her back, unaware it was a fake anyway.

The next day the tribe met up with Probst for a reward challenge where they would have to spin in a frame to wind in a buoy, collect balls on a balance beam and then land said balls on a trough. For an epic overnight reward at the sanctuary, complete with tacos and margs in honour of Shonee, one assumes. Obviously Frannie powered ahead from the start as Danny nipped at her heels. The balance beam was a great equaliser with everyone catching up before Frannie once again pulled ahead and promptly jagged reward before anyone else even landed a ball. Probst being Probst he told Frannie the reward also included letters from home, and that she would be able to invite someone to enjoy it with her, with her picking Carolyn. After Carolyn sobbed through her thanks, Probst let her pick another, going with Lauren before Probst gave her just one more spot with her selecting Heidi. Leaving Jamie and the boys to head back to camp.

Back to camp where things were well and truly bleak. It was cold and rainy as Yam Yam smarted about missing out on yet another reward, admitting he is just so hungry and is emotional knowing that a letter from his husband is sitting somewhere on the island while he was stuck at camp missing him. Thankfully Jamie and Danny sweetly assured him it will be ok, letting him feel his emotions and assuring him that they were there to support. Given they were all bitter though, Frannie was now definitely public enemy number one.

Speaking of Frannie, she was busy giddily smashing the margs and getting into the food as Carolyn gushed about how sweet she was to have immediately chosen the mums. Frannie spoke about how much she looks up to Carolyn, seeing someone that doesn’t care about fitting in and is true to herself. We then got a supercut of everyone reading their letters, learning just how iconic Lauren is as a powerful single mother that has fought so hard to get to where she is. Carolyn had everyone laughing as she joked about her son not loving writing, shocked that he pulled together a par for her. Despite knowing Frannie was a threat, Carolyn also knew that she couldn’t bring herself to get rid of her – yet – and as such, suggested they get rid of Danny ASAP. Assuming Heidi was on board with them, which she said she was, however I don’t trust it.

Back at camp they were pulling together their counter plan, locking in the vote for Frannie with Danny suggesting they use flushing Jamie’s idol as a fake plan. Seeing her moment, she came clean about her (fake) idol going out in Kane’s pocket and while she felt everyone believed her, they didn’t, locking in a plan to get rid of Jamie instead, should Frannie win immunity. The victors returned to camp the next day with Jamie quickly filling the girls in on her lost idol, and while she once again felt liberated about letting the truth out, everyone thought she was lying and also decided she needed to go ASAP.

Probst made his triumphant return for the immunity challenge where they would be bound and forced to slither through the sand, dragging a buoy along with their mouths. They would then guide the buoy through a rope obstacle before, yep, solving a puzzle. Danny powered ahead like a sexy seal before untying himself and getting to work on his buoy as Carson and Heidi nipped at his heels. As is oft the case, everyone caught up at the puzzle before Carson’s 3D printer came in for the win as he powered through it and quickly jagged himself immunity. As Mama Carolyn looked on with pride, like the sweet icon she is.

Back at camp Frannie was feeling excited to have to play herself out of elimination, given she has been immune at every tribal council she has attended. She, Carolyn, Heidi and Carson locked in the vote for Danny before immediately flipping it to a split between Danny and Jamie, eliminating the latter if she doesn’t play her idol. Danny, Lauren, Yam Yam and Jamie meanwhile were locking in the vote against Frannie, though Yam Yam was still nervous about Jamie too. As such, he approached Carson to see what the best idea was, with them agreeing Jamie and Frannie are both dangerous, though Carson cautioned the latter is growing close with Carolyn and as such, they need to get rid of her to keep Carolyn in their pocket. Which isn’t guaranteed, if Carolyn is annoyed – which she will be – but whatever. 

Danny meanwhile looped Heidi in, though told her he doesn’t even need her vote to get rid of Frannie but cautioned she should jump on board. She immediately took this to Carolyn who grew very nervous, looping in Frannie before they tried to rally the girls to get rid of Heidi given she has been controlling the vote at the last few tribal councils. Knowing they needed one more, she approached Carson who was worried about a last minute change as Carolyn assured him that sometimes last minute plans are the best.

At tribal council Frannie admitted it would have been better to be taken on reward rather than have won it, given she couldn’t keep everyone happy. Danny spoke about how Frannie winning challenges is fast making her a legend, though admitted that all the winning also makes her a threat. Oh and yeah, I’m ignoring Probst trying to make full-tilt boogie a thing. Yam Yam spoke about the fact that it is sometimes more important to lose a few battles to win the war. Jamie once again told the truth about her fake idol, eliciting eyerolls from everyone that clearly didn’t believe her. She then spoke about how the new era of Survivor keeps things fresh week to week, with alliances almost obsolete. 

Danny spoke about how everyone has grown so close, though they are still focused on playing the game, voting out their friends or not. While Carson admitted today was the most stressed he has been all season, and that is when he has immunity. Heidi meanwhile was worried about how many plans have blown up, knowing all it takes to be eliminated is a wrong word at the wrong time. And with that the tribe voted and tragically Carolyn was unable to sway the tribe as her bestie challenge beast Frannie was sent to the jury. To reunite with her sweet boyfriend Matt, who was gutted to see her eliminated but no doubt thrilled to reunite with her.

Before the lovebirds could reunite however, I pulled her in for a hug and through quiet sobs thanked her for being such a joyous part of the season. Proving you can be both a nerd and strong, and dorky and cool, I ship the hell out of her and Matt so much, because they proved that there are still such delightful people in the world and humanity isn’t doomed. Yes, I love them that much. And I look forward to their inevitable return on a Blood Vs Water season and their eventual progression into the modern era Romber. But until then, I thanked her for being an icon and plotted how to tackle her return as we smashed big bowls of Frannberry Ice Creamarin.


This festive feeling ice cream is such a delightful surprise. A little sweet, a hint of spice and tart in all the right ways, even though it may not be something you’d run to on paper, I promise it is delicious.

Enjoy! 


Frannberry Ice Creamarin
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
2 cups double cream
1 ¾ cups raw caster sugar
6 egg yolks
¼ tsp kosher salt
4 cups cranberries
1 orange, zested and juiced
1 cinnamon quill

Method
Combine the double cream and half a cup of the sugar in a heavy based saucepan and bring just to the boil, stirring until sugar is dissolved. Remove from the heat and keep covered.

In a large bowl of the stand mixer, beat the yolks with a quarter of a cup of sugar with the salt on high speed until thick and voluminous. This should take about 3-4 minutes. Reduce to low speed and slowly pour in the hot cream before transferring the combined mixture back to the saucepan. Cook over low heat, constantly stirring, until it reaches 75C and has thickened. Pour the custard through a sieve into a heatproof bowl and leave to cool completely to room temperature.

While it gets chill, combine the remaining sugar, cranberries, orange juice and zest and the cinnamon in a large saucepan and bring to a boil over high heat, stirring frequently. Once boiling, reduce to a simmer and cook for about 15 minutes. Remove from the heat and allow to cool for a couple of minutes before discarding the cinnamon and transferring to a blender. Blitz the mixture until smooth before straining through a sieve into the bowl of custard. Stir until combined and leave to cool again.

Once it has returned to room temperature, transfer to an ice cream maker and churn as per packet instructions before transferring to an airtight container and popping in the freezer to chill for at least 4 hours. And then devour.


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Chanel Persianorex Lamb and Lentil Pilaf

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 3, Main, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race España fresh off their first challenge – and first time surviving a first episode for The Macarena – Supremme tasked her newest queens with celebrating Eurovision. In a little geography based mini challenge, followed by an epic dance challenge. After The Macarena won the mini, she was given the power to select a rival team captain as the duos built their crews. Despite Clover doing that, it was Pink Cahdora that took out the ultimate win from Team The Macarena. Meanwhile Chuchi landed in the bottom two yet again after dedicating most of her time to helping her sisters in the challenge, before she was tragically sent home by Vania.

Backstage Vanie was giddy to have survived, though heartbroken it came at the cost of Chuchi’s place in the competition. While Hornella was just thrilled to still have her bestie around. And well, Vania too was busy focusing her rage against The Macarena anyway, more than ready to send her home ASAP. Before the revenge arc could commence, the dolls praised Pink Chadora for winning the challenge particularly since nobody actually felt she had a shot in hell. With Bestiah in particular pressed that someone that can not even dance managed to take out the dance challenge, which is relatable, but probably says more about how the judges see everyone else.

The next day the mood was once again perky and camp as the top eleven stomped their way back into the Werk Room celebrating Vania as their new Lip Sync Assassin. After another shout out to Chuchi, talk turned to how hard the judges were coming for them as Supremme warned them that they needed to serve more polish if they want to make it much further. While Chanel lol’d about Pink’s moustache and the fact Visa doesn’t tuck, though seductively suggested if she tried, she would have to tape it to her shoulder. Like Yvie. Insert Jinkx reflecting on life while snorting joke, which is a perfect reference for any and all situations, TBH.

Supremme made her return to put the dolls through their paces in this week’s maxi challenge, the big, bad ball! Which this year was Celebrating Spanish Culture. And for the final category, they would stomp in something they make using traditional regional costumes as their inspiration. And since Pink won the last challenge, she was given the power to assign them. She took the Salamanca suit for herself, Chanel got the Euskadi suit, Valencia for Pakita, Madrid went to Bestiah, Extremadura for Pitita, Aragon to Hornella, Asturias to Kelly, Canary Islands went to Visa and La Rioja to The Macarena, leaving the Flamenco for Clover and Pubilla to Vania. While the first two categories would be celebrations of colour and flavours of Spain.

With that Supremme bid them adios, leaving the dolls to rifle through supplies and come up with a plan for their third outfit. Clover appeared to be having a great time, emulating the orgasm scene from When Harry Met Sally while Bestiah was crapping herself. Vania meanwhile was thrilled to be playing within her wheelhouse, given she was so out of her element last week and now everyone else knows how she felt. Though Pitata was trying her best to help everyone, bless. Whether Chanel believed her intentions were pure or not. Kelly and Chanel were busy shading Pink Chadora for strategically allocating their inspiration, and while she denied it, she totally was being shady. As she should.

Supremme made a triumphant return to kiki with her daughters alongside Ana, with them loving Pink’s concept and the fact she was staying within her brand. Pitita served confidence in her skills and seemed to leave the judges wanting more, Clover meanwhile was nervous after Ana suggested making a negligee. Pakita meanwhile vowed to show off skin, whether it was appropriate for the region, assuring us that she was going to trust her instincts. The Macarena planned to serve wedding dress, using the anniversary of her father’s death to push her over the line. Visa on the other hand was thrilled to be celebrating her Mexican heritage through her look, particularly after Ana advised her on a few killer changes. Vania vowed to sell slutty icon queen of hearts, Bestiah talked around her nerves, focusing on making her aunt proud through her look. Kelly meanwhile was getting by with hot glue and a prayer and Hornella was just in her feels and hoping for the best.

Dia de eliminacion arrived with everyone exhausted after pulling an all nighter on their final looks, as Pakita suggested she was kept up by the hammering sound of sex among the girls. After nobody fessed up – despite Kelly’s awkward face – Visa admitted she was shocked by how difficult the challenge was, always assuming it just looked horrible on TV, but was actually fine. While Pitita whipped out a headlamp and confused the hell out of each and every one of them. Clover meanwhile was disappointed in her look – those damn flamenco ruffles – though vowed to sell it to avoid the lip sync. As the dolls split up to beat their mugs, Hornella checked in with The Macarena who opened up about being quiet since her return to the competition due to the fact she is in recovery and how the shame made it difficult for her to open up to others.

Supremme, Ana y los Javis were joined by Palomo Spain as Pakita opened the Colores runway in a stunning shade of green in honour of Carmina. Hornella was camp, lace-hatted patchwork perfection, Pink Chadora served white thistle glam, Vania was a shimmering red sun and Chanel served lamp, oil and curtains. The Macarena was a glamorous blooming bride, Clover was the sexier bride, paying homage to the Cuban flag, Pitita was a frilly, red delight, Kelly gave shimmering power politician, Visa stole the show as a sexy corn queen and Bestiah gave highlighter, transformer realness. 

When it came to the Sabores runway, Pakita gave a sexy fried egg dame, Hornella served shrimp realness with the coolest, camp wig I’ve ever seen, Pink served red wine – swoon – Vania gave a sexy Suzy Caramel, Chanel served sinner strawberry with an iconic cake wig reveal, The Macarena continued in the slutty ways, this time making it sea urchin. Clover meanwhile gave us glam honey coated nuts, Pitita gave burlesque croquettes before revealing a stunning calamari, Kelly served milk maid realness – which feels right – Visa served spicy chilli before Bestiah stole the category as a gorgeous Chupa Chupa headed sugary delight.

Closing out the show in their looks in honour of the Regiones, Pakita gave sexy mediaeval queen, Hornella was a fringed delight, Pink Chadora served ‘80s Madonna, though called it 90s. Vania meanwhile gave regal camp, Chanel gave Sailor Moon/Gem villain cosplay, The Macarena served grieving old widow, Clover was a power puff delight – spotted, frilled and perfect – before Pitita stole the show in a stunning, architectural look, though erred close to the source material. Kelly Roller also appeared to be inspired by ‘80s rock chicks, Visa was stunning draped in fabric, showing all the skin, before Bestiah closed the ball with an avant garde look which only further cements her as the frontrunner.

After thanking the dolls for stepping their pussies up, Supremme sent Pink, Vania, The Macarena, Visa and Hornella to safety before helping Pakita with all the praise for serving three, perfect, fully realised looks that were each oh so different. Chanel on the other hand was read for giving messy, ill fitting looks and well, it was as brutal as it sounds, and I would argue, nowhere near as bad as the judges made out. Pitita too was heaped with praise for all that she gave before Clover, for some reason, was read for not giving enough in the looks she brought from home and for giving no variety. Kelly was read for paying no attention to detail before Bestiah rounded out the top, thanked for giving perfection once again.

Backstage the safe girls were breathing a sigh of relief to have made it past the ball, with everyone quietly laughing about The Macarena questioning why she was safe. The tops and bottoms joined with the girls pointing out the win is definitely between Patitia and Pakita, while Bestiah was just gagged to be in the top yet again despite her lack of sewing skills. Kelly essentially treated the kiki as a farewell to the girls, knowing she will be lip syncing while Chanel was heartbroken to clearly be in the bottom with her, given she felt she gave something different each time.

Ultimately it was Pitita who took out the win as Pakita and Bestiah were sent to safety as lovely first and second alternates. At the other end of the pack Clover was rightly saved from the lip sync, leaving Kelly Roller and Chanel Anorex to battle to safety. To the Spanish language version of Christina Aguilera’s Genio Atrapado, so yeah, it was a bop AND a show. Chanel was flashing the dolls, Kelly was cartwheeling in skates and while it was messy, it was FUN. And as such, I was heartbroken that both the zaddies didn’t survive and poor Chanel Anorex was felled from the competition.

As she arrived backstage, I quickly pulled Chanel in for a massive hug and assured her that despite being an early out, she easily showcased how much of a sickening queen she is. And well, since she is hot, she will always be a robbed goddess, which is honestly the best you can hope for sometimes. While that didn’t immediately pull her out of her disappointment, after smashing some Chanel Persianorex Lamb and Lentil Pilaf, she quickly rallied, ready for her shot to return to the competition.


This glorious little fusion dish is one of those God-level mid-week meals. Quick and easy, yet hearty and warming, the spiced lamb pairs perfectly with the pilaf to perk up any and all bleak days.

Enjoy!


Chanel Persianorex Lamb and Lentil Pilaf
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
olive oil
1 onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
400g canned lentils, drained and rinsed
½ cauliflower head, cut into florets
1L chicken stock
300g basmati rice
500g lamb mince
2 tbsp Moroccan seasoning
salt and pepper, to taste
1 cup Greek yoghurt
¼ cup mint leaves, roughly chopped
¼ cup slivered almonds, toasted

Method
Heat a lug of oil in a large saucepan over medium heat and sweat the onion and garlic for about 5 minutes, or until soft. Add the rice and cook, stirring, for a further minute to coat. Slowly pour in the stock, cauliflower and lentils, and bring to the boil. Reduce heat to low, cover and cook for 10 minutes, or until the rice is tender and the liquid absorbed.

While that is cooking, heat a lug of oil in a skillet over medium heat and cook the lamb and Moroccan seasoning, breaking up lumps with a wooden spoon, for 5 minutes or so, or until cooked through. Remove from the heat and season.

Finally, combine the yoghurt and mint in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper.

To serve, divide the pilaf between four bowls, top with the lamb followed by a good dollop of minted yoghurt and a sprinkle of almonds. Then devour, like a zaddy.


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Sausage Gnockane Fritzler

Main, Pasta, Survivor, Survivor 44, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor after a string of split tribals, multi-immunity, non-merges and buffless boots – as has tragically become the status quo of the postmodern era of our beloved show – we finally enjoyed our first regular post-merge episode. And well, it was kind of a doozy! At an iconic immunity challenge we got to see Carolyn protecting Carson as she got stuck in a netted anus before Danny won the season with an even more iconic fart – timing it in response to Probst, no less – on Lauren’s way to taking out immunity. Back at camp the Tika trio expertly rode the middle, as Ratu and Soka went to war. At tribal council Danny squeaked out an idol play for Frannie, winning the war and sending Brandon to the jury. Without anyone realising how tight the Tika trio were.

Back at camp Frannie gave Danny a massive hug to thank him for saving her, while he was just thrilled by their plan going off without a hitch. And not sharting at the challenge, though that was confirmed on social media. Jamie meanwhile pretended to be thrilled by the boss move, while Lauren admitted she regretted not pushing harder for the split vote situation since it would have guaranteed their power. Particularly since Ratu are now even with the other two tribes. Thankfully she still felt solid in her majority, unaware that Tika isn’t legitimately with them. Which Yam Yam confirmed, grateful to still look like he was in a power alliance with the Ratu’s, while getting his way at tribal council and eliminating another person that previously targeted him. Just like Queen Shonee.

The next day Kane and Jamie caught up and regrouped as they hunted for what they assumed would be a newly hidden idol. Ideally to get rid of the biggest threat left in the game, in the form of Danny. As he too desperately searched high and low for an idol, with a patented five tree check followed by collecting some firewood. Sadly for him, it wasn’t as stealth as he assumed, with Jamie and Lauren growing more and more desperate to collect it before him, as sweete Jamie rejoiced about still having her idol. Which to remind everyone is a fake that was tragically hidden by her closest ally Matthew. Oh and amongst the chaos of everyone hunting, it was Heidi that snatched it out of nowhere, despite barely even looking. Like a damn boss.

Back at camp Yam Yam was leading the group in a game of I spy to distract from the actual game, which is honestly iconic – I love his passion for enjoying the ride, rather than being on, all the damn time. Carolyn too was living her best life just hanging with everyone, sharing that she is 13 years sober, and hearing her talk about her recovery and bonding with the tribe was just so damn sweet and heartwarming. And well, crown her now as she is the best casting choice in a good decade. Particularly since she has weaponised everyone’s perceptions of her to make her seem like less of a threat, which is honestly brilliant.

Again, I love her.

Carson meanwhile was still feeling like crap, as Carolyn and Heidi rallied around to help him eat since he had lost the urge to vom. The tribe then found treemail with the promise for the group to be able to negotiate for rice by a number of people sitting out of the challenge, with it appearing nobody would even be willing to do it. Oh and while I was confident Tika was stealth, it appears that Frannie at least is aware of them being a threating alliance.

After meeting with Probst he explained that to win immunity they would stand on a small block and balance a ball against an overhanging piece of wood. And to secure enough rice for the rest of the game, the tribe would need four people to sit out. Lauren and Carson instantly offered, while Danny and Carolyn offered to not vote for any of the sit-outs, which led to Kane and a reluctant Heidi joining them. With that, the remaining five took their places in the challenge with Carolyn and Jamie dropping nearly instantly, leaving Yam Yam, Frannie and Danny to battle for immunity. Yam Yam was next to go, with the duo holding on for five minutes with the rain pummelling them before Danny dropped, handing immunity, once again, to our loved up, nerdy icon Frannie.

Back at camp she was thrilled to be the undisputed challenge beast before the tribe found their rice and giddily got to work cooking a real meal. After joyously smashing the food, Yam Yam was fired up and ready to think through the vote ahead, acutely aware that he is not the only one that would be supercharged by the food. He was thrilled to stay in the middle of the two feuding tribes, with Heidi and Soka floating to them the idea of getting rid of Kane given he is the bigger strategic threat. With that seemingly locked in, Tika approached Ratu to get their thoughts, while also subtly suggesting Jamie should play her idol and suggesting they split the vote between Heidi and Danny.

Ratu meanwhile got nervous about a potential Knowledge is Power coming into play, so swapped who held the extra vote and idol to work around it and keep their plan in tact. Frannie on the other hand was growing more and more concerned about Tika taking control and floated the idea of working with Ratu to blindside Yam Yam instead. With Danny thankfully suggesting Ratu were still the bigger threat – which I’d argue is wrong – and as such, felt they should focus on getting out Kane still. The legitimately dangerous Tika trio were debating which side was better to go with, with Yam Yam and Carolyn fighting over who would be better to get rid of out of Kane and Danny, with Carson calmly trying to keep them all from splintering.

At tribal council Matt beamed with pride to see Frannie with another immunity before talk turned to sitting out for the rice, with Heidi happy about her decision, despite being vulnerable. Kane meanwhile wasn’t confident in the fact people assured the sit outs they won’t be voted out, with Danny pointing out he gave a scouts honour, despite not being a scout. Kane acknowledged he made his choice based on the fact he knew he couldn’t win that challenge while Jamie shaded people who didn’t sit out for showing their games. Carolyn acknowledged the fact that now that they are fed, they feel normal again and were ready to truly strategise. With Yam Yam agreeing he felt able to plan, though you best believe he was nervous about being targeted.

Frannie spoke about the excitement of tribal council, despite never really knowing which plan is going to play out. Heidi listed all the possible advantages and complications which could derail the vote, while Jamie was just nervous about whether the last conversation she had is the one people are still going with. Kane admitted he loves the chaos, given it makes for a funner game, while Danny spoke about finding the balance between leading a vote and knowing when to follow. Carolyn on the other hand was confused about everything now, as Kane started to whisper amongst the tribe. Eventually Jamie and Lauren stood up to whisper before it erupted into full blown chaos with names going out left and right, with everyone unsure what was real and what was just a ploy to get people to flush advantages.

Finally the tribe voted – Jamie twice, using Lauren’s advantage – as Kane was blindsided with Jamie’s idol in his pocket, sadly unaware it was only a fake anyway. Which I quickly filled him in on as he arrived in Ponderosa. I pulled him in for a massive hug, thanking him for being such a sweet, nerdy icon with a killer wardrobe. While he may not have ever cast an eliminating vote, Kane showed he had solid game instinct and TBH, I would love to see how he went in a second season. But until then, I focused on celebrating his game and the sausage fest that is the jury – swoon – with a big, fat bowl of Sausage Gnockane Fritzler.

Sweet and herbaceous, with a hint of spice carried on a creamy tomato sauce, this gnocchi is a quick and easy meal which tricks people into thinking you dedicated a good couple of hours in the kitchen. It is that good.

Enjoy!

Sausage Gnockane Fritzler
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
olive oil
500g Italian sausage, casings removed
6 shallots, sliced
6 cloves garlic, minced
⅓ cup cinzano
400g can diced tomatoes
2 tsp chilli paste
1 cup double cream
500g gnocchi
½ cup parmesan cheese, grated
½ cup fresh basil leaves, roughly chopped
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Heat a small – and I mean small, which is odd for me TBH – lug of the olive oil to lightly coat a medium deep skillet over medium heat and cook the sausage breaking up with a wooden spoon for five minutes, or until browned through. Add the onion and cook for a further few minutes, followed by the garlic for another minute.

Add the cinzano to the pan to deglaze anything that caught on the bottom before stirring in the tomatoes, chilli, double cream and gnocchi. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low, cover and cook for five minutes or so. Uncover and check the gnocchi, cooking for a further couple of minutes if required.

Remove from the heat and fold through the parmesan and basil and season to taste before serving piping hot. Coated in even more parmesan just before devouring, obvi.


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Drag Chumchi Pancakes

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 3, Side, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race España doce chicas nuevas y La Macarena arrived, and instantly put on a massive talent show. There was charm and shade, so struggles to find a key in live songs and some poignant piano turned Wizard of Oz hell. Most importantly, Drag Chuchi served body, though sadly not much else, Maria on the other hand lacked precision while Bestiah slayed from start to finish and jagged the first win. Landing in the bottom it was the body versus the bawdy dame, with the former winning as Chuchi sent Maria home to be the next The Macarena. Mercifully saving The Macarena from becoming the Francesca Hogi of Drag Race. Well, maybe, depending on the teased return challenge.

Backstage the dolls were all heartbroken to have lost a sister, which Chuchi was shocked to have even been in the bottom while Chanel hoped it would bring her back down to earth and force her to be a little mas humble. Talk turned to The Macarena surviving her first first episode, while Kelly admitted she was just grateful that two people did worse than her so she didn’t have to lip sync. Bestiah on the other hand was thrilled to have taken out the first win of the season, with Hornella agreeing the game is now well and truly afoot and well, all the dolls were ready to fight.

The next day the queens arrived in formation, ready to slay another week as they worried what exactly it could entail. Once again they praised Maria for being a killer queen – not to be confused with Killer Queen – before talk turned to The Macarena’s opening anus and who exactly the trade of the season is. With Kelly – and most of us – crushing on Chanel Anorex, while Pakita felt Clover was the hottest. Before the dolls could act on any of their feelings, Supremme arrived to announce that for this week’s Mini Challenge, they would be facing off in placing flags of Eurovision songs on a map held up by the zaddy Pit Crew. The first round was hit and miss with only Pakita, Pink, Clover, The Macarena, Kelly and Hornella making it through to the next round guessing an artist based solely on their songs. Which ultimately led to The Macarena taking out victory, much to literally everyone’s chagrin.

And for winning, she would get to select a rival team captain for this week’s Maxi Challenge where they would do a live dance performance. After anointing Vania a rival leader, The Macarena selected Clover, Visa, Chanel, Bestiah and Pink, while Vania enlisted Kelly, Chuchi, Hornella and Pakita, leaving Pitita to round out her team. The groups immediately split up to talk through their plans, with Bestiah concerned about The Macarena and Pink Chadora bringing them down with their complete lack of skills. While Clover was selected to lead the choreography, as The Macarena continued to annoy her sisters by pointing out she is still in charge. The other group were far more zen as they came up with a name and elected Pakita as their lead singer. Aka the low rent version of Clover, according to Kelly. They quickly pivoted to the mainstage to learn their choreography with The Macarena’s Team Glitterazo confident to slay while Las Muerta Haris looked like they were having the absolute best time. Despite Carmelo, the choreographer, not having much faith in them slaying. That being said, I would argue both teams were struggling.

Dia de eliminacion arrived with the dolls all pumped to perform, even Pink Chadora, who knows dancing is not her strong point. Although, that was mainly just an act in front of the queens, as you know she was actually nervous. Kelly meanwhile got shady with The Macarena for having so much chaos in their team, while the other team were proud of how zen they were. And how much Chuchi focused on getting them over the line. As they split up to beat their mugs, the dolls spoke about the discrimination they’ve experienced for showing their feather side, while Chuchi opened up about trying desperately to stay in the closest growing up. Meanwhile Bestiah and Vania were having a quiet moment in the corner of the room, bonding over their difficult experiences coming out to their families and while Vania’s have come around, it is heartbreaking to see them still carry around this trauma.

Supremme, Ana y los Javis were joined by Eurovision icon Soraya as the dolls stomped onto the stage for their dance battles with Team Glitterazo demolishing from start to finish as Clover absolutely owned the performance and Pink was surprisingly killer. Las Muerta Haris, meanwhile, elicited awkward faces from the judges, despite being rather cohesive and on point.

Pink opened the Spain in Eurovision runway with an iconically camp satin purple jumpsuit and robe. The Macarena looked like Diana Ross and Marilyn Monroe’s love child before Chuchi was cute in a suite of reveals to cover an entire band, however it was a little clunky, which sucks, given it was a fun concept. Vania was a camp Grecian delight, Visa was a glittering, shimmering beauty, complete with a sickening rocker reveal, Hornella was a vamp delight inspired by the same look The Macarena was as Kelly took the stage with signature roller skates revealing from a bed through to an ice skater’s gown. Pakita meanwhile was stunning in a little black dress giving all the 80s, as she did reveal after reveal. Bestiah was a vision in a gorgeous red gown before revealing a shimmering silver one underneath. Clover too gave fringed fun, shimmying her way across stage and looking perfect. Chanel was stunning as a shimmering sea witch, whether it was on theme or not, before Pitita stole the show in a stunning rainbow gown.

Before getting to the critiques, Supremme told all the dolls that the judges were concerned about their sloppiness, asking them to remember where they are and to bring some polish. And for heaven’s sake, brush. Their. Wigs. Despite this warning from the judges, Team Glitterazo took out victory with Pink Chadora taking out the ultimate win, despite the fact Clover Bish was right there, since her outfit was subpar, apparently. After they were shooed off stage Chuchi was read for lacking edit and polish on the runway, despite being good with the dancing. Vania was read for getting lost in her head and not being polished with her mug, Hornella was praised for being camp and fun, Kelly was praised for enjoying herself and looking stunning, Pakita’s looks were beloved before they read her for bombing the performance, while Pitita’s passion for highlighter was a dud, despite them judges loving everything else she served.

Backstage the victors were thrilled to have made it through another week, with The Macarena particularly excited to have crushed her episodic record. Pink meanwhile was shocked to have taken out the win, despite not being a good dancer. With Bestiah hoping it will bode well for her when she faces something she isn’t strong with. The bottom group joined them with Chuchi confident she would be lip syncing again due to serving four ugly outfits, while Vania apologised for letting her team down and landing them in the bottom. 

Ultimately Pitita, Hornella and Kelly were sent to safety before Pakita narrowly joined them, leading Vania to lip sync for her life against Drag Chuchi. As La noche es para mi by Soyara kicked off Chuchi looked to have almost given up and while she turned a show, there was no denying it was Vania that was bringing all the fire. And camp comedy, which was enough to take out victory and send poor Drag Chuchi out of the competition.

As she arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a long hug, assuring her that while she didn’t get to slay the competition, she did show that she is a sickening performer. And well, she is hot, so me and the fandom will always remember her as a robbed goddess and land her a place on All Stars, kinda like Milk. Which surprisingly was enough to perk her up, even before the Drag Chumchi Pancakes were done.

Kimchi pancakes are such a glorious little snack. A little spicy, a little tart and oh so comforting, they warm the soul and delight your taste buds. Which is just how Drag Chuchi makes me feel, TBH.

Enjoy!

Drag Chumchi Pancakes
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 egg
1 tsp kimchi brine
¼ cup soy sauce
¼ cup water
¾ cup flour
1½ cups kimchi, roughly chopped
4 shallots, sliced
grapeseed oil, for fryin’
3 tbsp rice wine vinegar

Method
Whisk the egg, brine, a tablespoon of the oil and water in a bowl, followed by the flour. Fold through the kimchi and half the shallots until just combined.

Heat a lug of the oil in a medium skillet over medium heat and add a couple of quarter-cups of batter into the pan and cook for a couple of minutes. Flip and cook for a further few minutes before removing to a wire rack and repeating the process.

Combine the remaining soy sauce and vinegar in a bowl and serve alongside the pancakes with the extra shallots sprinkled over the top. And devour while piping hot.


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Brandoned Buttom

Condiment, Survivor, Survivor 44, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor despite the ‘Earn the Merge’ portion of the game being behind us, the tribe arrived at the latest immunity challenge where Jeffrey gagged everyone with the information that once again half of them would be immune. The tribe were split down the middle with a person winning immunity from each team, and the person that lasted the longest from both earning immunity for their entire group. The catch being, they wouldn’t have a vote at tribal council either. After Frannie won one of the immunities, she held on against Brandon to make her entire group immune, leaving her boo Matt in jeopardy. Knowing he and Yam Yam were both in danger, they tried to get in with the Ratu majority in their collective. Sadly though it was all for nothing, even with Heidi snatching an advantage that could have saved them both, instead using it to doom Matt to the jury.

As the sweetest King of the Jury to ever exist.

Back at camp Yam Yam once again thanks the tribe for saving him, while hugging the winners and saying how much he missed them and how sad he was to lose Matt. He meanwhile was quite shocked by Heidi choosing to play her advantage to get rid of him, and while he was grateful to have survived, he questioned why she didn’t use it to make a bigger move against the Ratus. Frannie meanwhile was heartbroken to have not only lost her love, but to have watched him be so scared about the vote ahead, knowing it is now how she feels. While the OG Ratu felt to like they were now in control, given they managed to weaken not only OG Soka, but a powerful, sweet, loving duo that we all ship.

Heidi tried to do some damage control with Yam Yam, assuring him that she played her advantage the way she did because it was bleedingly obvious that Matt was going home anyway, so by doing what she did, she ruffled – or rustled, maybe – the least amount of feathers. Before floating that Tika and Soka come together – well, her and Tika at the least – to take control of the game. Which Yam Yam immediately took back to Carson, suggesting that better than locking in with one of the other tribes, they simply ride the middle and flip back and forth until they make it to the end. As Carolyn expertly hung with Ratu to keep them happy, with Kane confident in Ratu’s chances admitting if one of them doesn’t win, they really fucked it up.

The next day Carolyn continued to delight the tribe, whipping them up a nutritious breakfast as poor Carson crawled around in the background vomiting. Which is not related, given it is the PB&Js that caused his gastrointestinal distress, not our queen. As he loitered on the edge worrying about avoiding everyone, Carolyn assured him that everyone loves him and knows he is sick, so to just relax and heal. Ugh, she is the best. Proven even further when Jamie returned with treemail telling everyone to pair up for the upcoming challenge, with her offering to go with Carson so she could carry him on her back. As everyone else split up, Lauren worried about herself being a weak link that nobody wanted given she is so fatigued with Danny offering to go with her, despite gunning for her the day before.

But trust and believe, this doesn’t mean he won’t still target her next.

The tribe joined up with Probst in the jungle where they learnt the pairs would race in three stages, the first being to crawl through a twisted net and dig up planks with the first four pairs moving on. Stage two would see them race up a cargo net and use the planks to cross a bridge and slide down to a mat with the first two pairs going to the end. Where they would have to balance on small footholds between two walls with the last person standing taking immunity. Frannie and Yam Yam got out to an early lead with Kane and Brandon nipping at their heels. Danny and Lauren tried to close the gap, while Heidi and Jamie were closing out the group as Carolyn got stuck, while Carson quietly tried to will her on, though no doubt was grateful to not have to participate. With the other pairs thankfully making it through before he really had to try.

In round two, Kane and Brandon got out to an early lead with Yam Yam and Frannie and Danny and Lauren close behind. With the latter duo booking their place in the final round with the boys. As the four lined up in the structure they navigated through the first and second footholds with ease before the transition to the third foothold cost Kane his shot at immunity. He was almost instantly followed by Brandon before Danny won the season with a fart. Sadly though, it wasn’t enough to win him the challenge as he dropped more than his guts after transitioning to the final foothold, handing Lauren immunity. Like. A. Boss.

Back at camp everyone rinsed off the mud as Yam Yam worried about being targeted yet again, as is tradition. The OG Ratu crew quickly locked in their votes on Frannie, roping in Carson to make sure they were still together. They then wooed Carolyn and Yam Yam to vote with them, as Brandon hoped for some reciprocation from the latter for saving him. Brandon then approached Heidi and Danny and while they both said they were keen, when alone with Danny, Heidi told him that now is the time to make a move on Ratu alongside the Tika crew. Danny assured Heidi he would gladly play his idol for Frannie, while Heidi approached Yam Yam, Carolyn and Frannie to align against Ratu and take out a massive threat in the form of Brandon. 

Yam Yam then approached Carson by the well to see what he was thinking, as Heidi approached them to check in. Carson assured her that while he was very keen on her power move, he was also a little bit concerned about how they could do it without making any enemies. Heidi then told them that Danny also has the hidden immunity idol and is playing it for Frannie, hoping the information solidifies their alliance, while also helping them through the vote. Sadly for her, Yam Yam wasn’t sure whether it was best to work with Heidi, or rat her out to Ratu and take control with them. Danny meanwhile let Frannie know that he was planning to blindside Brandon and play the idol for her. He then caught up with Carson, who told him that Yam Yam knows about the idol and while Danny was stressed, Carson assured him that he will monitor Yam Yam and make sure he sticks with them.

Despite Danny spiralling in fear.

At tribal council Matt and Frannie adorably looked at each other with love in their eyes, as Kane spoke about having a jury making everyone feel like they need to play a more bold, visible game. Heidi read the previous twists, pointing out that only Lauren is safe now and as such, she’d just love people to not vote for her. Carolyn spoke about how everything can change on a dime, with Yam Yam agreeing that the key in the game is to know what is going on at all times. Heidi and Jamie spoke about being terrified every time they set foot in tribal council, while Brandon spoke about how even if you have had conversations with people, you can never trust you’ve been given the legitimate one. Lauren on the other hand spoke about it potentially being a majority vote tonight, while Danny alluded to the fact that even if you’re down and out, a comeback story is always a winner with the jury. Kane spoke about how he focuses on moving with intention, with Frannie agreeing Survivor is about finding the most number of people with shared intentions to make it through to the next round. And then lather, rinsing and repeating.

With that the tribe voted, Danny stuck firm with the plan to play his idol for Frannie and promptly negated 6 votes for her as Brandon – rather poetically, I must say – was idolled out of the game with the rest. As he arrived into the jury, I pulled Brandon in for a massive hug thanking him for bookending his game with idol plays in such an iconic way. While he pointed out the latter wasn’t really up to him, he was grateful for the praise all the same. Despite being someone that could have fallen into focusing just on brawn, after saving himself with a trick he hustled his way into power. Which had worked well until the other tribes rallied against them. Which is a sad truth which can only be worked through with a glorious batch of Brandoned Buttom.

While this is something that is generally saved for the festive period, I would argue we need to normalise this as a year-round thing! Sweet, punchy and smooth, it is the perfect addition to your festive baking or melted on a fresh batch of pancakes.

Enjoy!

Brandoned Buttom
Serves: 12.

Ingredients
175g icing sugar
175g unsalted butter, softened
½ cup brandy
½ tsp kosher salt

Method
Cream the butter and icing sugar in a stand mixer on medium for about five minutes, or until white, thick and fluffy. Slowly add in the brandy a tablespoon at a time, allow it to come back together before adding more, followed by the salt.

Transfer the butter to a sheet of baking paper and wrap into a cylinder, holding firm with some tape or cling film. Pop the log in the fridge to chill for an hour or so before devouring. Festively, year round.


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Instant Mariamen Edilia

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 3, Main, Snack, Soup, Street Food, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race España 12 reinas nuevas arrived in the Werk Room, ready to prove that they and Supremme are the greatest international franchise. Starting with a stunning display of nudity on the first runway, courtesy of Marina. The dolls dazzled and delighted, with camp fun and a whole lot of heart – and drama, thanks to Marina and Juriji – before it was whittled down to just four. Well, three after Marina was eliminated in the final episode. Ultimately though, despite Marina starring in this here recap, it was Sharonne who dominated from start to finish and rightly landed herself the crown.

It is lights up in the Werk Room for another year, however, as Pink Chadora arrived looking like a floral bimbo queen and instantly I fell in love and saw a place for her in the Barbie movie, so fit her in please Margot! She was joined by Hornella Góngora who gave Jessica Rabbit realness in all the right ways. After they became the fastest of friends – bonding over Hornella’s papaya – Pakita arrived serving smut and sex as a fluffy devil and well, my basement is flooded and I am struggling to breathe. Bestiah rock’n’rolled her way into the competition looking like a cartoon high school baddie and again, I am in love. She was followed by Pitita serving old Hollywood glamour in a hard pivot, which I’ve come to love from España.

The fivesome’s kiki was interrupted by the arrival of Spanish Ginger Minj, Maria Edilia with an epically long entry line that won over my heart. Representing the Canary Islands this year was Drag Chuchi who served golden stilt realness and looked like he could choke me out of drag. So yeah, she is my new fave. Vania Vainilla arrived serving goth showgirl realness, but then Pitita explained her anus was closed for renovations and that information became more important than any new arrivals could ever be. Clover Bish became the second cis female to compete globally, looking like Adore Delano does Cher Horowitz and well, I love her. As does Pitita, busted anus or not. Channelling Trixie entering All Stars, Kelly Roller arrived serving roller Barbie and well, I live. Particularly seeing her out of drag, as once again, my basement is flooded.

Chanel Anorex was next to join the fray looking like the love child of a bull and the green goblin, but surprise surprise, was a zaddy out of drag, so I stan. Rounding out the cast was Mexico’s finest Visa arrived, serving ancient goddess realness and ugh, it was perfect. Wait, hang on, there is another doll this season as The Macarena returned for another shot at the crown which gagged everyone. Who were obviously super shady about having a repeater in the class. Before they could completely break The Macarena, Supremme arrived to welcome her newest girls. With a cheeky little roll around the hay mini challenge. Aka a photoshoot with each serving barnyard chic, based on the animal they pulled out of the zaddy pit crew’s sack. 

After getting into animal quick drag, the dolls joined the zaddies on set as Pitita gave the most demented rat, channelling the icon herself – and newest three timer – Jimbo. Kelly Roller buzzed her way into my heart as a rollerskating bee, The Macarena was an unhinged hen that would make Detox proud while Maria Edilia was an adorable, smutty little piggy. Clover gave hot cow, Chanel was a wild, junky boro, Bestiah bounded into our hearts as a bunny, Vania was a horny horse and wisely got the Pit Crew to ride her, so yeah, that is a win for me. Pink Chadora meanwhile was a glamour fly, before Visa gave party ladybug and Hornella served an even hornier cow than those that came before her. Chuchi meanwhile gave sexy sheep, wisely getting the Pit Crew involved too before Pakita stole my heart as she showed us just how hungry a wolf can be. Ultimately though there could only be one winner and that was rightly Hornella, because it was completely unhinged.

Before departing Supremme announced that for their first maxi challenge they would be throwing a little Talent Show! But more importantly, they all dedragged to flood my basement while checking in on how The Macarena feels to be back. And decide whether a single episode even gives her an upper hand. The Macarena meanwhile was busy bonding with Clover and Chuchi, with the old hands telling Clover to stand firm and know she belongs. Oh and then they all bonded over not getting laid without eyebrows, which makes me and my Eugene Levy’s feel really good right about now!

Dia de eliminacion arrived with everyone excited for their first challenge, while The Macarena was just hoping to avoid the bottom. Talk turned to everyone being talented singers, which made Pink nervous about it landing her in the bottom. They then pivoted to who they see as the biggest threat – already – as everyone agreed it was Pitita, while she in turn was nervous about Hornella. As they split up to beat their mugs, the dolls bonded over their partners with Pink Chadora thrilled to have sucked the same dick for 15 years. Like an icon.

Supremme, Ana y los Javis were joined by zaddy Paco Leon on the judges panel as Visa opened the Supremme Eleganza Talent Extravanganza with a killer, camp Mayan gymnastic act in ropes. She spun, she split, she sung, sha danced and it was amazing and I love her. Bestiah then calmly sat with her talent, playing the piano and singing and well, it was beautiful, lack of camp be damned! Wait, no, it turned it a punk rock performance with backup dancers rocking in like the monkeys in Wizard of Oz. It was wild and a bop and this is why España is my favourite franchise. Vania meanwhile gave boudoir glam as she taught tantric, complete with fire and rotating through the Pit Crew like magic. Or Khalessi’s power. Clover then listened to our lord and saviour Anetra and walked the fucking duck. And it was glorious.

Like the Pit Crew’s speedos.

Maria meanwhile served typing lip sync before getting with her boss and well, it made no sense which is why I kinda love it. Pink Chadora meanwhile sung an original song about farming, Bambi or global warming. Either way, there were dancing carrots and therefore, I love it. The Macarena served sexy Britney as she sang her original song, despite a missing key here or there. Pitita gave camp, mime, chic complete with snacks both food and in the form of sexy sailer back-up dancers. So again, I live. Drag Chuchi meanwhile served drama as she lip synced about Dia De Los Muertos before it too turned sexy. Hornella Góngora then sang Dancing on My Own as two zaddies danced live and made out. So yep, you guessed it, another win. 

Kelly Roller was thankfully on brand skating her way across stage as she lip synced looking ready to compete in the Hunger Games and while I live, that is mainly because she went off the stage. Sometimes on purpose. Pakita then gave an emotional performance singing before stripping off and pole dancing and well, I love it. Chanel Anorex then closed the show giving sexy snow beast before lip syncing to Cannibal as the back-up dancers coated her in red paint. So yep, I did stan it because it was amazing.

On the Spain is Different runway, Bestish was a glamour serrano ham, ready for battle in all the right ways. Hornella was a shimmering red Goya delight, Vania was a gaudy (in a good way) pink and purple puffy star and looked to be having the most fun possible. Pink Chadora was a ruffled, leather femme fatale, ready to take you as soon as you start something. Drag Chuchi gave disco ball comes disco diva, looking stunning in the process. And serving all the body. Chanel gave camp icon ready for a day at the races or fresh from an easter hat parade. Complete with high heeled crocs. Pitita gave us Alaska’s trashbag look, though upcycled with a tonne of cash. Maria gave camp, vamp ladybug, Pakita was the most camp, giving the sun and moon, dripping in tinsel like a glam car wash. Again, in a good way. Clover looked ready to sing cabaret at a rich fundraiser in a shimmering black gown, The Macarena served drama as she gave bleeding, murdered art before Visa served shimmering tower, into a chameleon and well it was batshit, so I love it. While Kelly walked the runway selling herself as an 80s theatre icon.

Vania, Pitita, Pink, Chanel, Clover and Visa were sent to safety before Bestiah received universal praise for her looks and for slaying the talent show. Hornella was praised for singing live and holding their attention, despite being pitchy. Chuchi was read for not giving enough Canary Islands in the talent show and for being hit and miss with her looks. Maria was read for messing up the sync of the lip sync of her talent show. Pakita received wall to wall praise for all the diverse things she showed this week. The Macarena was read for being pitchy throughout the performance, though was praised for fitting everything to her body. Despite the exposed corset. Kelly too was read for her nerves and the moment where she fell from the stage, despite them loving her runway.

Backstage the safe girls celebrated making it through another week, with Pink in particular happy to survive on something she was scared of. Clover meanwhile felt she and Visa were robbed of a place in the top, while the others were a little shocked it wasn’t Vania winning, though agreed out of the dolls left, it should be Bestiah snatching the first victory. The tops and bottoms soon joined them with Maria opening up about clearly being in the bottom, while The Macarena was concerned about history repeating itself. Chuchi on the other hand was proud of her performance, despite being read for it.

Ultimately the dolls proved to be right as Bestiah took out victory after Hornella, Pakita and Kelly were sent to safety. Despite her fears, The Macarena narrowly avoided the lip sync as she was sent to safety, leaving Maria and Chuchi to battle it out to Despechá by Rosalía and while I’d like to say it was a battle, it erred more on the side of a bloodbath as Chuchi stripped down to pasties – top and bottom – shaking and flipping all over stage completely nude. And well, maybe I am distracted by the flooded basement, but she rightly earned her safety as sweet Maria became the The Macarena of the season. Or is she, given Supremme’s cryptic video at the end? Dun, dun, DUN.

Despite whatever it is Supremme has planned for the eliminated dolls this season, I pulled Maria in for a massive hug as soon as she returned to the Werk Room. While we were tragically robbed of seeing everything she has to offer, I once again rolled out the platitude that first boots are always more memorable than early boots and as such, she is now as iconic as the future winner of the season. Plus, being the first boot doesn’t appear to have stopped Jaymes Mansfield from becoming an All Star now, does it? After that, she was feeling very pleased with herself and was thrilled to join me in toasting her speed run with a piping hot bowl of Instant Mariamen Edilia.

Like Tayce before me, 2 Minute Noodles are one of my favourite foods (of childhood, at least) and this little copycat is an elevation that warms your soul. Sweet, smooth and earthy, the miso broth adds the perfect kick for any mood.

Enjoy!

Instant Mariamen Edilia
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 tbsp miso paste
1L chicken stock
300g instant ramen
1 tbsp parsley, roughly chopped

Method
Combine the miso paste and stock in a large saucepan over medium heat, and cook, stirring, until it comes to the boil. Reduce heat to low, add the noodles and simmer for a couple of minutes, say two, until they are soft and tender.

Remove from the heat, stir in the parsley, stir and then devour. Joyously.


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Matt Cornflakinship Brownies

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 44, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor the three tribes dropped their buffs ready for the dragged out, needlessly complex earn the merge episode which is essentially just a split into two tribes with a joint tribal council, but whatever. Thankfully Carson’s passion for 3D printing guaranteed he and Carolyn were safe, though tragically their bestie Yam Yam wasn’t so lucky. And given everyone was worried about Josh having an idol – despite Carolyn assuring them he doesn’t – he quickly became a target. Yam Yam in turn tried to turn things on Kane which was ultimately unnecessary as the group threw caution to the wind, banded together and sent Josh out of the game. Meaning we’ve still only lost minority players or females thus far.

Back at camp Yam Yam quickly told everyone he loves them despite copping some votes and while he was feeling the pressure now that he has had his name out there, he quickly got back to joking about and charming the hell out of everyone and well, we need to protect him and Carolyn at all costs.

The next day everyone came together to pick a tribe name and while nobody bought the fact Yam Yam was actually a Fijian word that would be perfect for the tribe, they did love his suggestion of Va Va meaning 4-4. And by coming together, it was everyone but Matt and Frannie who were on a private date being cute as shit, celebrating the fact he finally has his vote back in addition to having his idol. He then caught up with Brandon, Yam Yam and Kane, with Brandon telling everyone about the fact the cages had two idols – one real, one fake – which made Matt realise he had been played since there was only one in the bag when he snatched his. Slowly he pieced together that Danny must have the real one, offering to show the boys his fake to prove his theory.

Meanwhile Danny was busy catching up with Carson, locking in the next vote as Lauren since she has an extra one. And while Carson was quiet and non-committal, Kane outright shut him down when he approached him with the idea, since the extra vote in the hands of an ally would be super powerful for them later in the game. Begging the question, did I know they were aligned with Lauren? Kane then approached Matt and Frannie about Danny’s plan, suggesting that while Danny is fixated on getting rid of her, it may actually be the perfect time to blindside him instead. And after they pulled in Carson, he realised that he, Carolyn and Yam Yam are sitting pretty in this impending feud between Ratu and Soka.

The tribe came together with Probst where they would each stand on a beam and hold a long pole above their head and balance a ball with the last one standing securing immunity. Oh and since Jiffy Pop can’t go a week without some rando twist, they will be split up into groups of five – why did we merge again? – with a person winning immunity from each group. And the person winning the whole challenge earned immunity for their entire team too. Oh and sadly, only those eligible to be eliminated will be the only ones voting too, meaning someone is about to get screwed to rule as the King or Queen of the Jury. When they split up into groups, Carson was the odd one out, meaning he got to bet on who would win and tie his fate to theirs. Confused? Same. Oh and the winning group would also get PB&Js, because why not.

In any event, Carson locked in with Heidi, Kane, Danny, Frannie and Carolyn, which seemed like a shitty idea as Carolyn became the first to drop. She was followed out by Lauren on the other team, before the remaining people transferred to a narrower portion of the beam. Which immediately cost Kane, followed by Heidi and Danny leaving Carson’s fate in Frannie’s hands. While she continued to power on, Jamie dropped before everyone transitioned to the narrowest portion of the beam. Just like Kane, that transition cost Matt and Yam Yam leaving Frannie and Brandon to battle for their group’s safety. The duo fought valiantly for a little while longer before Brandon dropped, meaning Frannie earnt her group immunity, but left her boyfriend in danger and ugh, I have a horrible feeling this is not going to end well for my sweet angel Matt.

The winners were sent back to camp to smash their sandies as the losers were sent to a different camp to scramble. Meaning in addition to the winners not having a vote, they also don’t have sway, which is infinitely worse. Back at camp, the group joyously smashed the food before talk turned to the upcoming vote, with Frannie and Danny talking about how much nobody wants Matt to go but accepted that it is clearly either him or Yam Yam going. Which obviously scared Carolyn, as she definitely didn’t want to lose her bestie. And just to up the tension for them, there was also an ominous note sitting on the table telling them they couldn’t open it until everyone was done eating.

Before we could address the note we ventured over to the losers’ camp where Brandon was feeling bad to have let his team down, though was thrilled to still be immune in addition to having his vote. Particularly since he also has Lauren and Jamie there who will totally stay Ratu strong. Matt meanwhile knew he was screwed and asked to talk to everyone, though pulled Jamie and Brandon aside to casually mention they may have a crazy plan to get rid of Lauren but if not, he is happy to work with them to take out Yam Yam. Despite the fact Yam Yam is the only one he actually wants to work with. Sadly for Matt, Yam Yam was busy throwing his name out to Lauren, filling him in on the fact Danny and Matt have been throwing out her name because of the extra vote and as such, she was ready to bounce him ASAP.

Back with the victors Frannie opened the note to announce a new advantage locked in the cage with keys hidden around the jungle. The catch being, you could only grab a second key once you’ve tried your key and found it didn’t work. Instantly everyone ran off to look with key after key coming up short before Heidi finally put us out of our misery, unlocking the cage and snatching it for herself. It being the new Control the Vote Advantage, meaning she can choose one player at the upcoming tribal council to force to vote the way she wants. Meaning she could be the one to save both Yam Yam and Matt, if she wants to be my best friend.

We returned to Playa de Loser where Matt was missing his boo Frannie, gifting us a heartbreaking recap of their love, instantly filling me with even more anxiety that it is soon to be ending. Matt and Yam Yam caught up as the former Ratu hung out by the well, with Yam Yam pointing out that if they can get the other group to split their vote, they will be able to force a tie, meaning they just may be able to survive. Sadly for them the trio were busy planning to load all their votes on one person, either Yam Yam as it won’t piss as many people off or Matt to weaken Soka. Wait, no, Lauren wants them to split so we may be saved! 

Frannie and Heidi caught up at the winners’ beach to talk through the advantage, trying to figure out the best way to use it to take control. While everyone was onboard with telling Matt and Yam Yam to vote together, Heidi admitted to Kane that since Matt is so well liked, she is just as concerned about him getting too far as she is about breaking up Ratu.

At tribal council Jamie spoke about how wild it is to once again be in a small group and potentially screwed if your allies are on the wrong side. Almost speaking for the audience about how tired we are of the constant tribal council twists. Matt spoke about the fact he didn’t have his bags or any tricks that may be in them, and when Frannie admitted she hadn’t packed it, he pulled out a papaya to ask Jeff for mercy and to cancel tribal council. When that didn’t work, Matt lay out that it is him and Yam Yam on the block, with the latter admitting he was also very nervous. Lauren and Jamie downplayed it, talking about how one advantage could screw them out of the game, but if they do stay, they also need to think about the six people not voting.

Matt tried to remind everyone how strong of an ally he is, with Brandon admitting he would love to work with him before pointing out he even voted for Yam Yam just the week before. Yam Yam wisely pointed out he has zero allies, while Matt has options, meaning if he is kept, he is more likely to stay loyal, while Matt would flip right back. Matt then was a beautiful angel, breaking down as he talked about his anxiety and nerves before playing the game, and how proud of himself he was to overcome it and play a strong game. As sweet Frannie looked on, beaming with pride. Jeff then called out Yam Yam for deflecting with humour – why show his game, Jeff – with him too breaking down about how growing up as a queer kid in Puerto Rico, he never dreamt he could be here and he now he isn’t ready to go.

As they were about to go out to vote, Heidi stood up and snatched Lauren’s vote, instructing her to vote for Yam Yam. After clarifying whether Heidi controlled one or two of her votes, Lauren kicked off the voting, wisely holding on to her extra as the group united to break up mum and dad, sending Matt out to become the King of the Jury. Which feels so wholesome and lovely I could almost burst. But fuck am I going to miss our sweet king. As soon as her arrived at Ponderosa, I pulled him in for a massive hug and thanked him for playing such an exceptional game and for repping for all the nerds with anxiety. As is becoming a trend this season, I reiterated that due to the twist there was truly not much he could have done to save himself, but I am grateful that someone as kind as him is the one setting the tone of the jury. Which is perfectly shown with a big, fat plate of Matt Cornflakinship Brownies.

As sweet as our nerd king, angel zaddy these elevated brownies are all about balance. Crunchy and soft, sweet and salty, everything about them works together to warm your soul and keep the jury in a positive state. I assume.

Enjoy!

Matt Cornflakinship Brownies
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
375g unsalted butter
150g dark chocolate
5 eggs
200g muscovado sugar
650g raw caster sugar
100g plain flour
50g cocoa powder
1 ½ tsp kosher salt
300ml double cream, at room temperature(ish)
200g cornflakes

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C and line a rectangular cake tin.

Start by melted 125g of butter with the dark chocolate, either in a double boiler or using a microwave. Stir until smooth, shiny and combined, and then leave to rest.

Meanwhile using a stand mixer, beat the eggs, muscovado sugar and 150g of the raw caster sugar until light and fluffy, almost pulsating with the volume. With the mixer on low, slowly pour in the butter and chocolate, mixer until just combined. Remove the bowl from the mixer and fold through the flour, cocoa and half a teaspoon of salt until combined. Pour the batter in the pan and transfer to the oven to bake for 30-40 minutes, or until the brownies are just cooked through. Remove and leave to cool.

To make the caramel cornflakes, pop the remaining sugar in a large saucepan over medium heat and stir until it has melted. This will take a while, but is worth it for an angel like Matt. Keep cooking the sugar until it is a deep golden colour. Remove from the heat and add half of the remaining butter and mixing in. Once combined, add the remaining butter and whisk until that is combined. Followed by the cream, carefully, as this will bubble and spit. Once combined, return to the cooktop and heat for 2 minutes, or until it has thickened slightly. Remove from the heat, stir in the remaining salt, followed by the cornflakes.

Immediately pout the cornflake topping over the brownies and smooth the top. Transfer to the fridge to set for a couple of hours before slicing and devouring.


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¡Telétransportame a Marte, iconos!

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 3, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

La versión hipercolor favorita de todos de Drag Race – España – está de vuelta en nuestras pantallas y mi corazón está abierto para sus poderosas discusiones previas a la pasarela. Y mi sótano obviamente está listo para ser inundado por las miradas de los Javis.

Al igual que la mujer que supongo inspiró el tema promocional, la insumergible Tammie Brown, España es un poco chiflada, específica en todos los sentidos y, lo que es más importante, absolutamente genial. Es decir, tan pronto como Supremme me envió una línea y me pidió que le brindara comodidad a sus muñecas – dos veces, con el próximo All Stars – inmediatamente alquilé un avión para ayudarla en lo que ella necesitara.

¿Alguien de Carmen y Sharonne se abrirán paso en la competencia por tercera vez, o los jueces irán un poco al Reino Unido y elegirán un ganador comodín? no puedo decir

But board the rocket and get ready to shoot to the moon, because you know these queens are going to make the journey fun! And I’ll be keeping them fed – while they keep us fed – each week after they’re eliminated (sorry, university and duolingo could only take me so far).

And who will be the The Macarena of the season?

📷: ATRESplayer Premium.


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Sashawarma Colby

Main, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 15, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race 16 new queens arrived in the Werk Room in two groups of 8, for no reason but to create a little bit of drama in the first episode since they were immediately united after their mini challenges. Despite everyone taking an instant dislike to TikTok twins Sugar and Spice, they quickly won hearts and minds with their sweet demeanours and killer talent show. Someone who didn’t walk the fuck in the talent show, however, was Bosco’s sister Irene DuBois, who was promptly eliminated from the competition.

She was soon followed by Princess Poppy who essentially laid down her sword in the lip sync so she could go ahead and quit drag. Sugar was next out despite her sister giving the most unhinged version of Miley, a sentence I ask you to re-read to understand the gravity of it. She was followed by Amethyst, Robin Fierce and the newest member of the win to elim club, Aura Mayari. After Anetra showed mercy to Spice in the Lalaparuza, she promptly eliminated Jax before Spice’s luck ran out. Officially. Miss Congeniality, Malaysia Babydoll Foxx soon followed before Marcia Marcia Marcia was eliminated in what should have been a double shantay for the sole purpose of not having her own the rusical. Said rusical was the undoing of Salina EsTitties before mini-challenge queen Loosey LaDuca was felled after a very strong makeover.

Despite Ru promising the top four one of them would be eliminated before the finale, their killer performance in the rumix forced the judges hands as the top four were sent through to the finale. After a super-length reunion – arguably the only episode that should be an hour – the top four delivered individual performances on the Ace Theatre stage before Ru culled them down to just two, our lip sync queens Anetra and Mother Sasha Colby leaving Luxx and Mistress to sashay away. And while they both obviously slayed the final lip sync, only one could actually take out the crown and that woman was Sasha Colby.

Just as I predicted before the season (even filmed) and most importantly, just as she deserves.

As she exited stage with her fresh crown and sceptre, I pulled her in for a massive hug to congratulate her on her win. Week after week, Sasha was polished, open, charming and dripping in talent, and while she faced stiff competition throughout the season, her impeccable performance never left any doubt she would be taking out the crown. So with another feather in her impressively adorned cap, I thanked her for sharing herself with the world and told her how excited I am to see what she does next. All while smashing our faces with a big, fresh Sashawarma Colby.

Like the Avengers before her, Sasha firmly believes in the power of shawarma to celebrate a victory. Earthy and spiced, warm and fresh, it is perfect for any triumphant occasion. As her daughter’s friend Jasmine Kennedie says, this is our moment and we are going to have it.

Enjoy!

Sashawarma Colby
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
¼ cup tomato paste
3 tbsp white vinegar 
8 garlic cloves, minced
1 ½ tsp paprika 
1 ½ tsp chilli flakes
1 tsp cumin 
½ tsp ground coriander 
½ tsp dried oregano 
½ tsp sumac 
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
1kg chicken thigh fillets
Coolaioli, Pita Andre Bread and salad, to serve

Method
Place the tomato paste, vinegar, garlic, paprika, chilli, cumin, coriander, oregano and sumac in a large bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Whisk to combine before adding the chicken. Toss to coat, cover and transfer to the fridge to marinate overnight.

When you’re ready to go the next day, preheat the oven to 200C. Thread the thighs onto a duo of metal skewers (so they form a ladder of chicken), pressing down so each thigh is firmly against the next, leaving a couple of inches free at each end. Repeat the process with subsequent duos of skewers whenever you run out of space. Line a baking dish and balance the ends on the sides so the chicken remains elevated. Transfer to the oven and bake for about 20 minutes, or until charred on the outside and cooked through.

Remove from the oven and allow to rest for five minutes before slicing the meat of the skewers. Serve piping hot with salad, or rolled into a delicious kebab using Coolio and Pita Andre’s goods. Devour, like the mother fucking queen that you (and Sasha) are.


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Anetrata

Breakfast, Main, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 15, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race a new cast of queens arrived in the Werk Room and TBH, they kept us fed. Well at the very least Luxx and Mistress did, bringing sass and shade each week, making everyone put the fight in fighting spirit. But aside from that the dolls absolutely slayed, with Anetra walking the fucking duck, Sasha cracking her neck to victory, Loosey giving us a perfect Joan Rivers while Spice gave us that Miley and Anetra and Marcia Cubed delivered the lip sync of the season. One by one they were sent home until it was just Anetra, Luxx, Mistress and Sasha remaining, after a late breaking double shantay from Mama Ru.

Oh and then the world’s longest reunion happened.

We returned to the Ace Hotel Theatre as the queens were wheeled back out in the order they were eliminated. As a reminder that order was – yep, it is happening – Irene DuBois, Princess Poppy, Sugar, Amethyst, Robin Fierce, Aura Mayari, Jax, Spice, Malaysia Babydoll Foxx, Marcia Marcia Marcia, Salina EsTitties and Loosey LaDuca. The top four then stole the show as Anetra, Luxx Noir London, Mistress Isabelle Brooks and mother Sasha Colby were brought out, proving why they are still in the running. We then got a five Ru performance of her song, which happened, but I’ll take the shirtless back-up dancers any day. And by take, they can walk my fucking duck any day. After introducing Michelle, Carson, Ross and the TS Madison, Mama Ru explained how the evening would proceed with the dolls all doing a solo performance before the top two would lip sync for the crown. 

First cab off the rank was the iconic Anetra who is still such a sweet angel, grateful for her father for providing the love and support that allowed her to become the person she is. Her solo number, Lotus, was inspired by the flower blossoming only after going through all the muck. Which is apt for what she has experienced in her life, and well, now she is walking the duck and karate chopping like a boss. Obviously she destroyed the performance with the judges loving all that she served. In a kiki with Ru, she charmed her way through explaining her superpower was jumping over queens with BFAs while her kryptonite was men over 6 feet. And between her relatability and how sweet her dad and stepmom are, I need a double crown ASAP.

Luxx meanwhile was fired up to take the crown, willing to commit crime, but only one that would get her arrested, but not thrown in jail. Her finale performance, It’s Giving Fashion, was a high-energy bop which she slayed from start to finish. Complete with a little bit of an Anetra signature, walking the duck. The judges rightly heaped her with praise before she told Ru she can not wait to see how this turns out. She admitted to Ru that she was completely vibing and living her best life, before her mother spoke about her getting her legendary performing skills from her grandmother, father and of course, herself, her mother. Her boyfriend meanwhile sobbed about how much she loves them, while Luxx put everything she is today down to drag. So now I need a triple crown (the first going to Sasha, obvi).

We then had a little interlude dedicated to the iconic Bob Mackie, as Ru gifted him the Giving us Life-time Achievement Award. Which is important, despite not adding to the plot.

When they pivoted from the sweet, petite old man to the killer, larger than life Mistress Isabelle Brooks and hell, make it a quadruple crowning, because she literally carried the season on her back. She served sass, emotion and most importantly, eras. When it came to her original song Delusion – in honour of being patient zero – she was fire. It was hyper colour, hypnotic – literally – and straight up perfection from start to finish, fun and fierce, complete with  a signature giggle. With the judges agreeing it was stunning, as always. While chatting to Ruple Charles, Mistress admitted she actually watched her mouth and held back over the course of the season. And reminded everyone they can be who they want, big or small. Her mother Chavelle Brooks then told her how proud of her she is, while I ship her and her bestie.

Rounding out the solos, Sasha was proud of her journey and how much she has evolved throughout the season. And how grateful she was for all her chosen family and those bio family members she is still in contact with. Her performance of Goddess was instantly iconic as she came out as a serpent, complete with snake braids and back-up in buttflaps. It was a bop and it was a performance. No doubt guaranteeing mama her spot in the final lip sync, which I’d argue the judges straight up agreed with. She was most grateful to the experience for allowing her to meet the fans and their supportive families. Her besties’ partner broke down about how proud he was of everything she has achieved thus far. With Sasha sure that thanks to Ru, she will be achieving her dreams and taking over the world in no time.

The top four all took their places on the stage as Ru announced which queens would progress to lip sync for the crown, with Anetra and Sasha obviously chosen. Because duh, despite how iconic Luxx and Mistress are.

As the top two disappeared backstage to prepare, Ru rucapped Wigloose, heartbroken that it proved to be prophetic before a group of queercons and Kevin Bacon – since Wild Things is super queer – did a touching version of the Imagine video (well, not out of touch). Leland and Orville Peck then performed a song with the queens and while it was a vibe, it was too sweet to read. Willow Pill then made her triumphant return to the stage to flip everyone off before Kornbread arrived serving BEAST. Before she rapped about the Season 15 dolls ahead of crowning Malaysia Babydoll Foxx the newest Miss Congeniality.

Most importantly, we then had an epic segment dedicated to Jinkx Monsoon before she took the stage to perform her number from Chicago. And oh my God, she is perfect and I am so gutted I didn’t get to see her in the show. As she and Ru kikied, we were reminded that Jinkx dreamed of performing in drag on Broadway, meaning winning Drag Race is the key to achieving your dreams. 

After wheeling the Queen of all Queens off stage, the top two arrived to lip sync for the crown to Knock on Wood by Amii Stewart and ugh, I love the song and know they are both going to kill it. As soon as it started, both of the dolls hit every lyric and beat. Sasha served a reveal from an epic coat, before pulling a bone from the corset of her gown to reveal a sexy number as she served all the hairography. Anetra gave a bleeding heart, Sasha used her coat as a couch and well, it was good. Which TBH, is exactly what we were expecting from the duo. And despite it being the strongest final two in YEARS, Ru opted out of a double crowning and instead gave mother Sasha her flowers, leaving Anetra to secure her win in All Stars 9.

Mark my words.

As Sasha was getting her crown, I theatrically yoinked Anetra offstage with a crook and pulled her in for a massive hug, reminding her that she is now in the company of Alaska and Shea, as iconic losing finalists that are easily going to power through to the Hall of Fame. While she didn’t snatch the crown, there is no denying that Anetra’s run was nothing short of legendary and as such, she is definitely going to have the biggest career glow-up post season. Since she is rightly beloved. Sadly though, Ru couldn’t even spring for a runner-up prize – guess Camden was just paid restitution for her UK sisters not getting a prize – meaning she had to settle for just my Anetrata.

And by mine, I mean SJP’s character’s family recipe in The Family Stone. Strata is one of those dishes that are so easy – who doesn’t love something you prepare the day ahead – yet jam packed with flavour, and this one a hit. Rich, earthy, sweet and creamy, it melts in your mouth while warms your heart. Kinda like Anetra herself.

Enjoy!

Anetrata
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
6 Italian sausages, removed from casings, cooked into small pieces and cooled
1 baguette, sliced
½ cup mozzarella cheese, grated
4 tomatoes, sliced 
400g mushrooms, sliced
1 onion, thinly sliced
6 eggs
3 cups milk
1 tsp kosher salt
1 tsp dried oregano
½ tsp black pepper
1 pinch garlic salt
½ – 1 cup parmesan cheese, for sprinklin’

Method
Butter or line a large baking dish and arrange half the bread into the base of the dish, trying to leave as small gaps as possible. Sprinkle over half the sausage, mozzarella, tomato, mushrooms and onions. Top with the rest of the bread, followed by the rest of the sausage, mozzarella, tomato, mushrooms and onions.

Whisk the eggs, milk, salt, oregano, pepper and garlic salt in a large bowl until well combined. Slowly pour over the strata, making sure the liquid gets into every nook and cranny. Sprinkle parmesan over the top, cover and transfer to the fridge to chill overnight.

The next morning, take the strata out of the fridge to come to temperature as you preheat the oven to 160C. Transfer to the oven and back for an hour or so, or until the top is golden and puffed and it is cooked through. Insert a knife and if it comes out clean it is ready, otherwise return to cook for a little longer.

Once done, leave to rest for 10 minutes before slicing, serving and devouring. Plotting how to top a killer run on your second go.


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