Mantity Vain

Main, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars 1, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Global All Stars Ru opted to play into his OG dolls strengths by throwing a little roast. This brought up a lot of trauma for the dolls as Kitty was reminded that Ella destroyed her in their first season, Pythia narrowly avoided the bottom in her first season and many of the dolls were struggling to read in a second language while Alyssa forgot how well she did in All Stars 2. Because she sucked so bad in Season 5. After Kitty was given the power to set the order, she opted to start and finish strong with herself and Kween which proved smart, as the duo split the win. At the other end of the pack. Vanity sang her way into the bottom and poor Pythia was so sweet it was bland. And that was all it took to send my frontrunner, Pythia out of the competition. As the robbed goddess.

Backstage the top six were gagged by how incredible Vanity was in the lip sync, further proving that she is now the assassin of the season. She opened up about how she performed for her mother who is a huge Celine fan. Alyssa turned their attention to the victors, and gave a special shout out to Nehellenia who was oh-so-confident she would bomb the roast but actually, once again, slayed. Talk turned to how everyone was expecting Pythia to make it to the top four, and how shocking it was to see her sashay away. Alyssa and Nelly then had a high-kick off, with Nelly potentially kick-farting before somersaulting into a split. And hot damn, I look forward to their lip sync because they may just kill each other.

The next day Tessa was thrilled to be Pythia-less, given she was tough competition and now she is that much more likely to jag the crown. While the dolls all agreed that they weren’t expecting this top six, which kinda feels like the conversation they have each week, no? Ru interrupted the kiki for a little Who Is She? quiz mini-challenge. The group decided Nelly would be most likely to steal your boyfriend – despite her being married – Kitty was deemed the funniest, Alyssa was voted the prettiest, Tessa is the messiest – duh – Kween and Nelly tied as the shadiest and Tessa the most likely to go home next. Much to her rage. And given she guessed the majority the most, Kween took out the win.

With that out of the way, Ru announced that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be making over their fallen sisters. And as the winner of the mini challenge, Kween was able to pick her newest sister in the form of Soa. She then paired Alyssa and Eva, Kitty and Miranda, Nehellenia and Pythia, and Tessa and Athena, leaving Gala with Vanity. Which kinda, sorta feels fair, right?

The duos split up to reconnect with Kween and Soa absolutely vibing and ready to go high-fashion, Haus of Kong. Eva was thrilled to officially join the Haus of Edwards, while Alyssa was just desperately hoping to get her rudemption after being sent home – for realsies – on All Stars 2. Oh and their vibe was going to be killer bees. Gala meanwhile was just thrilled to see Vanity is still in the competition, while Athena apologised to Tessa for cussing out her third look in the ball. She then opened up about being disappointed the dolls think she would be the next to leave, but trust and believe she was ready to prove them wrong once again. Kitty meanwhile was in uncharted waters given UK 3 never had a makeover, though was hoping to help Miranda be cute for the very first time. Pythia was rooting for Nelly to overcome whatever is currently going on and make it to the end to overcome the shady dolls. Oh and she is going for back-to-back makeover wins.

Everyone was hard at work as Ru dropped by with the iconique Raven with Kween and Soa reminded to warm up their make-up. Kween admitted she was fair in pairing the queens as they are prone to sabotaging themselves anyway. Alyssa was hoping to get Eva in some bottom lashes, Vanity was going to put Gala through her padding and tucking paces, Athena was looking forward to bonding with Tessa and seeing if she is as annoying as she expected. Tessa opened up about feeling insecure when she arrived, given everyone else – but Alyssa – were finalists, while she was lesser known. Ru then gave her an epic pep talk and ugh, am I going to cry? Miranda meanwhile was looking forward to being basic like Kitty. Or ugly. Pythia on the other hand was looking forward to getting shiny, while Nelly assured Ru that this will be the week she jags a win.

Before departing, Ru announced that they would also need to choreograph their runway to Bring Back My Girls, so good luck everyone but Kween and Soa.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone splitting up to beat their mugs, as Nelly fell way behind and worried about getting to her makeup.

Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined by Germany’s Dianne Brill as the dolls stomped the Drag Family Resemblance runway. Kween and Pri-Nene Kong made a gorgeous mother daughter duo, having a ball and dancing around. Alyssa and Ava Edwards were twinning killer bees and yeah, Alyssa spent a lot of money to be on this season as they look expensive. Kitty and Puppy Scott-Paws gave teen models in nighties, Nehellenia and Zirconia were gloriously ruffled moons and yeah, Nelly dominated. Tessa and Athena Breasticle were oh so stupid as Athena gave robot realness, but also looked perfect. While Vanity and Insanity sadly looked boring by comparison, just as Ru worried in the walkthrough.

Kween received all the flowers because Soa literally looked like her daughter, and their love for each other shone bright. Alyssa was praised for giving family though not matching it out. Kitty was read for being too basic, particularly given the story didn’t make sense. Nelly received wall to wall praise for being completely perfect. Tessa rightly received praise for putting the focus on Athena and making her look stunning. While Vanity was read for not taking it far enough.

Backstage Kween was happy with her critiques but was pressed about some other people’s. Alyssa praised Nelly for dominating as Kween looked on angrily. When Vanity congratulated her, Kween was frustrated by how much she and Soa looked alike. Kitty started to cry over being in the bottom, which led to Kween shading Nelly’s make-up skills and telling her she was shocked that she wasn’t actually in the bottom. As the Ks simmered with rage, Pythia calmly called Kween an arsehole, essentially, while Kween said all she could see was her beard.

Ultimately Nehellenia took out her first win of the season, much to the firing rage of Kween who was deemed safe alongside Alyssa. Kitty meanwhile became the first Ru girl to land in the bottom two alongside Vanity, as Tessa was thankfully saved. As soon as Cher’s Believe kicked off, it was clear that Kitty was not going to be another victim of Vanity’s assassin title. While Vanity gave yet another dominant performance, feeling the emotion, being shady and having a ball, Kitty leant into the thing she knows works for Ru and that is humour. So she rested heavily on jokes and gags, which tragically ended Vanity’s run and sent her out of the competition.

As has become tradition this season, Vanity followed my screaming tears to the far corner of the Werk Room. I jumped into her arms and questioned why Ru and the producers hate the international queens so much. While Vanity couldn’t exactly come up with an answer for that confusing question, she was grateful for my love and support. And the recipe of the season, IMO, in the form of Mantity Vain.

These glorious little Brendan Pang numbers are honestly perfect. Packed with all the flavour, the manti melt in your mouth as they warm your soul.

Enjoy!

Mantity Vain
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g lamb mince
1 onion, grated
4 garlic cloves, minced
¼ cup parsley, roughly chopped
3 tbsp olive oil 
3 tsp paprika
½ tsp allspice
½ tsp kosher salt, plus extra
½ tsp pepper
25 dumpling wrappers
1 cup greek yoghurt
¼ cup unsalted butter
1 tbsp tomato paste
½ tsp chilli flakes

Method
Combine the lamb mince, onion, 3 garlic cloves, parsley, 2 tablespoons of olive oil, 2 tsp paprika, the allspice, salt and pepper in a large bowl. Divide the filling into the centre of the dumplings wrappers and fold to form pyramids, brushing the edges with water to seal. Leave to rest.

Bring a large pot of water to the boil.

Next, combine the yoghurt with the remaining garlic and olive oil, and a pinch of salt in a bowl. Cover and pop in the fridge to age.

Finally, pop the butter in a small saucepan with the tomato paste, chilli flakes and remaining paprika. Place over medium heat and cook, stirring, for a few minutes, or until the flavours have melded.

At this point the water should have come to the boil, so slowly add the dumplings and cook for about five minutes, or until cooked through. Drain and toss with the tomato butter before serving immediately with lashings of the garlic yoghurt. And devouring.


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Hamburgala Varo Steak

Main, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars 1, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Global All Stars the dolls had to partner up with their best Judy to share a cocktail. And by cocktail, switch supplies they had prepared prior to departing for the show and whip up a cocktail gown using their sisters’ goods. Obviously this created excellent television, as while Tessa lucked out and jagged a suitcase full of Alyssa’s finest, Nehellenia was pressed by the expensive fabrics supplied for her by Kitty. Which obviously didn’t sit well with Kitty. As could be expected, Tessa’s luck helped her pull out her first win as she put the luxe goods to exquisite use. Alyssa’s attempt with Tessa’s literal scraps somehow kept her out of the bottom, as poor Soa’s floppy edges and Gala’s gorgeous albeit very high-necked look landed them in the bottom. With the queen of my heart, Soa, tragically felled from the competition.

Backstage everyone was heartbroken to have lost Soa, particularly Kween, given she felt like Soa had become her older little sister. The eulogising didn’t last for long, however, as Alyssa turned the attention back to Gala, praising her for her stunning lip sync and now being the assassin of the season. As Gala and Vanity spoke about the need for them to rise to the top this week and cement their places in the competition, Alyssa praised Tessa for taking out the win and growing each and every week. With Tessa suggesting that Alyssa is now part of the Haus of Testicle, rather than her joining the Edwardses as she first thought. So it is now Alyssa Edballs, if you will.

The next day everyone did a quick win count, with Nehellenia and Gala disappointed to be the only dolls that haven’t cut through for a win yet. Gala opened up about the fact she almost quit last week due to the inner saboteur, with Kween once again jumping in and encouraging her to harness the voice to push herself, but to also know when to  tell it to shut up. Like you would Tessa, for instance. As Gala broke down, Alyssa encouraged her to have the tears and feel what she needs to, but know that she is making her country proud.

Ru stopped the love fest to announce that they would be continuing the vibes by posing for profile pics for the queer male dating app Archer. Serving thirst trap quick drag. Kitty was a slutty Patsy Stone, Tessa was a literal blow-up doll, Nehellenia was delightfully demented, Gala was rich and stunning, Kween gave butch Beyonce, Pythia gave hairy Lisa Rinna while Alyssa was just glorious and gorgeous. Oh and then Vanity stole the show giving plumped perfection. Well, until she popped. Given Gala serves sex at all times, she rightly took home victory. The love didn’t stop there, though, as Ru announced that for this week’s maxi challenge they would be playing the Snatch Game of Love trying to win the hearts of Supremme’s boys, Los Javis.

After Ru exited, the dolls split up to talk through their characters while Vanity and Kween speculated who would struggle in the challenge. Both in agreement that Gala could run into problems, given she was in the bottom in her original season. While Alyssa tried to get her to remember all she needs to do it make Ru laugh, not to a killer impression. Just like that, Ru was summoned as Tessa shared that she would be playing Susanne Bartsch, Kween was considering doing the Rock OR an undisclosed mystery character. Nehellenia spoke about being nervous about the challenge, with Ru encouraging her to ignore the questions and just be fun. Alyssa was rocking Annie Oakley like All Stars 2, Vanity was planning to do the euphoric Loreen – much to Ru’s nerves – while Gala was planning to do Mexican icon Laura Leon. Pythia was going with Arnie despite Ru wanting her to play a Greek or Canadian icon, while Kitty was going to play Princess Di, may she rest in peace. 

As is oft the case, Ru’s visit got a few of the queens in their heads with Pythia thinking about pivoting to Zeus. Despite the fact she would need to build a look from scratch and find the character in 10 minutes.

We pivoted to the Snatch Game of Love set where the first four dolls got ready to face off for Javier Calvo’s affection. Kween Kong as Kween Schlong, Gala was sticking with the drama of Laura Leon, Kitty stuck with Di and Nehellenia was cute as Valentino. Not to be confused with Valentina. Kween was surprisingly funny, poor Gala was one note after following Ru’s advice to lean into the telenovela and Nehellenia was on point. The first panel was owned by Kitty, however, playing glum Princess Di to perfection. Which was all it took to win Javi’s heart. Javier Ambrossi traded out with his husband as Vanity’s Loreen, Alyssa’s Annie, Tessa’s Susanne and Pythia’s frat-bro Zeus jumped in to fight for his affections. Alyssa was full Alyssa, Vanity was demented, Tessa was silly and fun, though in my opinion, this was Pythia’s panel, giving toxic masculinity perfection. Sadly though, Javi felt Alyssa deserved the win.

Oh and then the Javis made out, which was glorious.

Elimination Day arrived with Tessa disappointed to not own the challenge, though felt ok, given it is the hardest challenge. Alyssa meanwhile gushed over Pythia’s performance, particularly since she pulled it together in ten minutes. Vanity meanwhile was worried about the entirety of Sweden hating her. Meanwhile on the other side of the room Kitty opened up about sleeping with a fan, as Alyssa suggested they should have paid a booking fee given that is what they wanted. Vanity opened up about falling in love with her teenage crush and ugh, it is so sweet and I love everything about it. Kitty was not sure if she would end up with a DBE or be banned from returning home, as Pythia suggested she could actually be assassinated.

Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by Los Javis as Kween Kong opened the Eat Me runway serving Mother Hubbard does Pavlova. Gala was a gorgeous candy confection before stripping down and serving skin, so yeah, that’s a win. Kitty gave full English breakfast – aka a full geezer – Nehellenia was a Bowie-esque cassata, Vanity was a rotted Swedish Fish, Alyssa gave Barbie sundae, Tessa was a stunning swiss cheese while Pythia closed the show as a gorgeous spanakopita.

Kween and Alyssa were sent to safety backstage where Alyssa was gutted to once again be safe. Particularly since she was the snatchelor’s choice. Back on the mainstage, the judges read poor Gala for filth given she gave no jokes at all. Despite looking and sounding perfect. That being said, her runway was gorgeous. Particularly her body. Kitty on the other hand was praised for giving no-stop laughs during Snatch Game and looking stunning on the runway, Nehellenia was praised for picking a hilarious character and leaning into her strengths. And for being so versatile on the runway. Poor Vanity was read for filth for giving nothing more than a look on Snatch Game. Tessa was read for giving no character on Snatch Game, though she was praised for looking stunning. Albeit a bit cheesy. Pythia, meanwhile, was beloved for being so stupid on Snatch Game. To quote Michelle, she was fucking brilliant, pacifically. And once again looking perfect on the runway. Despite the wig, IMO.

Backstage Pythia was on cloud nine after her stunning critiques, with Tessa saying she got the best of the season. Despite Kitty being equally beloved. Talk turned to the bottoms with Gala and Vanity confident it would be them, with Tessa hoping she had done enough to skate by another week. Before poor Vanity suggested that she is just a boring queen, with her sisters assuring her that she is funny.

Ultimately Kitty snuck away with the win as Pythia was deemed only safe – robbery – alongside Nehellenia. While Gala and Vanity were set through to the lip sync, Tessa slid by just as she hoped. I then thought it was a Drag Race France 1 music rights situation, as The Muppets’ Mah Na Mah Na kicked off for the lip sync, but alas it was real. And given there was no possible way to make it sexy, Vanity owned the show, giving equal parts stupid and attitude. And while Gala put in a valiant effort, her run of luck ran out as she sadly exited the competition.

Inspired by Ru’s now questionable advice, I leant into the telenovela drama of Gala’s exit. As she walked off stage, I pulled her in for a passionate embrace, and dramatically assured her that she is a star. Whether she wins a crown or not. Because, dun dun DUN, she won my heart, my loins and a glorious Hamburgala Varo Steak.

Hamburg steaks are one of my favourite dishes from Japan. They are so homey and cute, but mostly unexpected. In no small part thanks to the tart wine glaze and the gloriously smooth cheese.

Enjoy!

Hamburgala Varo Steak
Serves: 2 dear friends or lovers.

Ingredients
olive oil
1 onion, diced
500g beef mince
250g pork mince
¾ cup panko breadcrumbs
1 large egg 
3 tbsp milk
2 tbsp soy sauce
200g cream cheese, cut into 8 cubes
¼ cup beef stock
¼ cup water
2 tbsp unsalted butter
½ cup red wine
3 tbsp ketchup
¼ cup Worcestershire sauce 

Method
Heat a good lug of oil in a frying pan over medium heat and cook for 5 minutes, or until sweet and soft. Transfer to a large mixing bowl and allow to cool for about 10 minutes. Add the minces, breadcrumbs, egg, milk and soy, along with a good whack of salt and pepper. Scrunch with your hands until well combined before dividing into 8 patties. Make a dent in each pattie, fill with the cheese and close to seal it in similar to how you would a Juicy Lucy Liu. Pop on a lined plate and pop in the fridge to set for about half an hour.

In the same frying pan, heat a little more oil over medium heat and once scorching, add the patties and gently flatten with a spatula. Cook for a few minutes before slipping and cooking for a further few minutes. Add the beef stock and water, pop on a lid and let it steam for another five minutes to cook through but keep nice and juicy.

Once cooked through, remove the patties from the pan to rest. With the pan still on, add the butter, red wine, ketchup and Worcestershire and simmer for 2 minutes, or until rich and glossy. Serve the patties immediately with some rice, green and a generous drizzle of the sauce. And devour, ravenously.


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Nutella Biskitty Scott-Clauscake Bars

Baking, Cake, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars 1, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race, hang on, hold the phone Mabel – where have we been?! We missed Nymphia snag a crown on the mothership and *checks notes/the edit* Lemon get her non-Ru rudemption on Canada vs the World 2, but we’re back for a farewell tour? Well, the answer is yes. Because if Ru is going to assemble a single iconic queen from 12 franchises around the world, well I am seated. Or in the words of Ru, my pussy, like the world’s, is about to be set on fire. Exactly like my girls Lady Gaga and Celine did in Paris for the Olympics.

But that is the other opening ceremony, and I’ve digressed.

Forgoing entries into the Werk Room, the dolls went straight to the mainstage to met with Ru, Michelle and Jamal. And first to strut the runway in her Opening Ceremony Extravaganza Eleganza was Athena Likis from Drag Race Belgique serving sexy milk maid and sassing Ru for being old. Miranda Lebrão from Brasil was silly and living her best life while simultaneously giving Sasha Velour. And requesting four vaginas. Canada’s Pythia – the icon herself – arrived ready to cluck outside the box. Kween Kong chuckled her way onto the international stage ready to do Jamal, which is relatable. Soa de Muse gave burlesque and continued to charm through acting and lip syncing all the way from France, in the hope that Jamal fucks her. Nehellenia gave sweet, space glamazonian and ugh, I love her. Germany’s Tessa Testicle was a shimmering floral delight ready to marry Michelle, proving she is smart.

And has balls. Geddit? Well, one. I’ll show myself out.

Gala Varo joined us from Mexico looking stunning and ready to serve sex. Eva Le Queen from Philippines – Marina’s sister – packed her lip gloss and was ready for a crown. Alex’s bestie Vanity Vain arrived serving forest moose, representing Sweden. Kitty Scott-Claus scratched her way back onto the teev, ready to camp it up to the end before Alyssa arrived and reminded us that always and forever, she is an icon and is hands down the one to beat.

All twelve returned to the stage for their official welcome into the competition, and learnt that not only will the winner head to Daytona Beach to inaugurate the international pavilion of the Hall of Fame, but they’d also score a cheeky $200K. US dollars. Which is honestly sickening, no? Better yet, nobody would be going home this week, in the spirit of world peace. Just like the Olympics proper. Athena, Miranda, Kween, Soa, Kitty and Alyssa were then called forward as the first contestants in the two-part Global Glamazon Talent Extravaganza, while the other dolls would just watch on from the sidelines and take a little wander down the runway.

Finally, we entered the global Werk Room where the dolls were gagged by how stunning it was. Kween was quick to welcome Alyssa back, while she looked at herself in the mirror as she greeted her international sisters, who were all rightly delighted to be amongst greatness. We then got a flashback to Alyssa’s first two iconic seasons, with her admitting she is ready to snatch the crown on her third time, knowing exactly what Ru and Michelle expect from her. As Kitty and Kween helped her de-drag, she met her new sister Tessa Testicle. Noting it is singular, in honour of her torsion.

Tessa then caught up with Soa and Athena to talk about how sexy Jamal is, which again, duh. Athena then moved on to Pythia, with the Greek duo excited to go from touring together to competing. We then learnt how Athena became an icon in her first season, ready to go from runner-up to the winning ambassador from Belgium. Miranda, Pythia and Eva meanwhile spoke about how weird it was to be in front of Ru, though questioned how much of an advantage Kitty, Kween and Alyssa have from already being known entities. Before Kitty broke the wardrobe, ruling her out from winning, given she cost Ru money.

Dia de Talent Show Part Une arrived with the performers splitting off to beat their mugs, as those who stupidly slept on France got to learn who Soa is. And who she is, my friends, is my favourite and I hope she is winning the crown. Kitty meanwhile told Gala and Nehellenia how excited she was to perform her talent before we were reminded that Ella was robbed in UK Season 3, though Kitty well and truly deserved her place at the end. Gamed out or not. Miranda meanwhile was busy opening up to Alyssa about how nervous she is to perform, with Alyssa agreeing that she is terrified to make her debut as she desperately wants Ru to see that she has applied herself. While Miranda explained she was nervous actually just nervous as she is doing something kinda dangerous. We then learnt that she made it all the way to the end of Brasil Season 1 and damn, she looks like an icon.

Kitty then got thirsty, leading the dolls in decreeing Gala the trade of the season. Which adds nothing, but is very important.

Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by Adriana Lima as Kween opened up the show with an iconic dance performance to her original song where she straight up lifted one of the back-up dancers and carried him around on her shoulders. Then, THEN, used leaf blowers as a wind machine and sassed them out for being colonisers. So crown her. Miranda was hilariously stupid before she jumped on a trapeze and while it was absolutely iconic, I was also so anxious about her falling, I couldn’t enjoy it as she flipped her sisters off. Plus, Ru looked scared about how much she’d have to pay her if she fell and cracked her skull, so we know she isn’t winning the challenge.

Kitty then sang live and damn, she has the pipes but the audio is kinda a flop this episode, no? But looking at the back-up dancer’s midriffs, I am anything but. Athena gave camp burlesque baby, complete with windmill nipple tassels. And wacky, waving inflatable arm Michelles. Soa too sang live and ugh, I love her so damn much. She was sultry, moody and Ru, please give her the flowers she so rightly deserves. Speaking of flowers, Alyssa gave a jazzercise lip sync performance and she just knows why she was invited back and this already feels like a victory lap. As she was a star. And so stupid. Which is just what we want from her.

On the Garden of Eden runway, Athena was stunning as a bound Eve, complete with apple in her mouth. Miranda was eaten by a snake and so beautiful, Pythia was a rotten apple – right to the core, right – Kween went with tree of life realness, Soa gave Lilith and was stun. Tessa gave neon bondage as she ate the apple, Nehellenia went from angel to devil and ugh, she is fun. Gala gave them original sin, tempting the judges in addition to her sisters. Eva went with the colourful version of the tree of life, Vanity gave the street-snake to Voldemort pipeline before Kitty showed her rosebud. Alyssa then stole the show in a shimmering garden-green beast of a gown.

Ru then announced that this week’s top two would lip sync for the win and a $10K cash tip. After sending the other dolls backstage, the judges lavished Athena with praise for being silly and fun in the show and looking gorgeous on the runway. Miranda is clearly a fave of Ru’s, from the stunning runway to the difficult madness of runway trapeze. Kween was praised for kicking the opening in the dick – thanks Hannah – and slaying the talent show, and looking moody on the runway. Soa’s runway received wall to wall praise, as did her cabaret performance. Kitty was praised for being fun and charismatic, before Alyssa got all of the praise, from her perfect talent to her glorious runway. Making Ru hold back tears – or pretend to – as she told Alyssa how proud of her she is.

Backstage Nehellenia was talking about how nervous she is to perform next week, given they have a lot to live up to, as they praised everyone for a job well done. The performers joined their sisters, talking about how great their feedback was. Everyone agreed Alyssa will definitely be in the top, with Alyssa thinking that Miranda will be joining her, on account of how challenging her performance was. Miranda then opened up about how she suffered from burns as a child which will lead to muscle wasting as she ages, and how the performance was a farewell, given she will likely lose the skill and ugh, I’m crying.

The dolls returned to the mainstage where Ru announced that it would be our very own Kween Kong that would face off against Alyssa for the win. And, yeah, we know this is going to be quite the lip sync. As soon as Rhianna’s Only Girl in the World kicked off, the dolls were fire. And yeah, it felt good to see Alyssa killing a lip sync again in 2024. She hit every lyric and every line, while Kween reminded us why she is considered the lip syncing assassin of Down Under, barrel rolling mid-air once again, overshadowing an Alyssa death drop in the process, before they finished hand in hand. Which rightly earned them both the win, splitting $10K in the process.

Backstage the dolls were gagged that Kween and Alysssa shared the win, while the duo were just excited to have a seat in the peanut gallery for the next week and relax and watch their sisters dominate.

The next day Eva was looking forward to getting the chance to show off her talent, while Vanity was pumped to redeem herself, given she bombed her first season. We then learnt more about Tessa who may not have had the longest run, but her mirror message was just her smooshing her bum on the mirror, so she is an icon. Plus, she is desperate to be adopted by Alyssa, so I love her. Gala opened up about doing pole dancing for her talent, with Kween valiantly volunteering to be the pole, should it be needed. Nehellenia admitted that she is very nervous about the talent show, given she was never in the bottom in her season of Italia. And she worried she wouldn’t be able to keep the streak going.

Ru dropped by to kiki with her daughters, by way of a little photoshoot for the cover of Quick Drag Magazine. Obviously the Werk Room descended into chaos with everyone hoping to avoid looking like a BEAST while slapping on their quick drag. They got in a soul train line for the zaddy pit crew member who was playing the photographer, with Pythia cute and fun, Kween was an absolute mess, Eva gave middle aged drunk, Alyssa served stoopid, Miranda was wacky, Gala gave arse – swoon – Kitty gave drunk Geri Halliwell, Vanity gave gogo cutie, Athena gave straight up cartwheels, Nehellenia served actual dancing diva, Soa was hilarious and Tessa rocked titty balls before Ru stopped the line, for the sake of dignity. Given she was actually a stunning dancer, it was Nehellenia who took out the win and earned herself $2,500 in the process.

After Ru disappeared, Kween dropped by to congratulate Nehellenia for being an absolute icon in the mini challenge. Alyssa meanwhile went to kiki with Gala who we learnt was an actual professor and met his deceased husband at an Alyssa Edwards show and ugh, I am crying again. Alyssa then moved on to give Nehellenia a pep talk about believing in herself before she opened up about her journey with her father, who went from someone that didn’t want little Nehellenia to dance to being her biggest supporter and best friend. Vanity meanwhile opened up about being a lone wolf in Sweden without a drag family, though admitted she was ready to show off her stunning singing voice. And hopefully not her temper, unlike last season.

Performance day arrived with Pythia realising this is literally the last time they will all be safe. Eva spoke about how hungry she is for a win, given she made it to the end of her original season without claiming one. Kinda like Cheryl, you know? Tessa meanwhile was just hoping to show that she was stupid and flexible in her talent show, while Alyssa opened up to her sisters about how she never went on a plane until she started doing drag. Talk turned to the diversity of the drag scenes, with Kween opening up about how Australia is super homogenised – because it is – and that she is so grateful to be among her new sisters and is able to find that universal language together.

When it came to Talent Show 2: Back in the Habit, Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by Danna as Pythia opened up the talent show with a demented clown bedtime story. Finishing by literally pulling a crown out of her bum. Nehellenia then slayed, singing an original song and dancing, live, and um, is this a new frontrunner emerging? Tessa then gave a comedy burlesque number, and given she continued to add Pit Crew members throughout the song, I live. Even if Kitty didn’t. Eva then taught us how to cook rice in a rice cooker before stripping down and sword fighting the Pit Crew and then slayed an inflatable dragon. Sooooo, crown her now, ploise. I mean, she finished screaming SON OF A BITCH, when she learnt the rice cooker was unplugged. So stupid. Gala then served all of the sex in her pole dance, while all of her sisters marvelled at how hot she is. Vanity then closed the show with a live performance and oh god, please don’t punish her for being a good singer Ru, because this was good.

On the Money Makes the World Go Round runway – local currency edition – Nehellenia gave a camp mille into euro barbie and ugh, I love it. Tessa gave coin warrior , Kitty was a shimmering delight, dripping in pounds. Pythia served Lady Britannia realness, Kween was a golden glamazon, Alyssa was the expensive version of Kween’s look, Eva went from piggy bank to a shimmering delight, Gala gave bohemian peso diva, Athena was a delight in silver chainmail, Soa gave historic finances in shell before Vanity was perfection giving krona realness and Miranda closed the show giving golden animal.

Nehellenia received wall to wall praise for her talent show, and they loved how fun her outfit was on the runway. While Tessa’s performance was messy, they loved that it was meant to be, while Ru was delighted by her look. Pythia was praised for thinking outside of the box, gagging Michelle that she literally makes all of her outfits. Eva was praised for being absolutely demented and looking gorgeous, and Gala was beloved for being so sexy and focussing on all the details. While Vanity was absolutely adored for all that she gave, particularly since her song was a bop.

Backstage the viewer dolls were proud of their runways and rather confident theirs was the better talent show, with all of them agreeing Eva, Gala and Vanity were the standouts. And they were kinda ready for Tessa to go. The other queens joined them to talk through their critiques, with all of them still mainly just shocked to be in Ru’s presence. Returning to the mainstage, it was ultimately Eva and Vanity were deemed the top two of the week, and lined up to lip sync for the win to Danna’s Paranoia. And yeah, it was a slay from both of the dolls. Eva was polished and turned a show, while Vanity was frankly captivating, leaning into the emotion as she hit every lyric. And while both were strong, it was Vanity that took out her first win of the season

Given Kitty was feeling it was high time to send some dolls home, I decided to pull her aside and remind her that while she knows how good it is to receive culinary comfort from moi, not all of her sisters have experienced that same luck, so be respectful of their nerves. Plus, nobody went home for two episodes, so I had to choose someone to celebrate early and as such, it was her. And I was kinda, sorta craving a big fat piece of Nutella Biskitty Scott-Clauscake Bars.

Biscoff has been having her moment for the last 5 years or so, and if every little treat you can make with it tastes this good, I am cool with her taking the mantle from nutella. These little bars are sticky, spicy and oh so sweet, though like Kitty’s humour, pack a little bite. And I love it.

Enjoy!

Nutella Biskitty Scott-Clauscake Bars
Serves: 2 dear friends, not yet gamed out.

Ingredients
220g lotus biscoff biscuits, finely crushed
70g unsalted butter, melted
500g cream cheese
100g icing sugar
50g nutella
300g biscoff spread

Method
Combine 200g of the crushed biscuits with the melted butter, stirring until well combined. Press into a square cake tin to form a base, and pop in the fridge to chill while you prepare the filling.

Equally as easy, pop the cream cheese in the bowl of a stand mixer with the icing sugar, nutella and 100g of the biscoff spread, and beat with the paddle attachment on medium for a couple of minutes, or until well combined. Pour on top of the base, smooth out the top and return the cake to the fridge.

Finally, melt the remaining biscoff and pour over the filling and smooth out. Sprinkling the top with the remaining biscuits crumb however inspires you creatively. I went with a pole, in honour of Gala, obviously.

Return the cake to the fridge and allow to set for at least four hours before carving into bars and devouring, to distract yourself from Gala and the zaddy Pit Crew member, pacifically.


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Salted Peanut Caramel Jonbars Blonde

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World 2, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World the dolls were tasked with throwing a little Happy Endings Ball. By Michelle, no less, given Ru was busy recovering from the flu, or something. I am not a doctor. In any event, the first two categories were generally slays across the board. However the third and final category required them to pull together a look from scratch, and that is where things went a little wild. While LGD and Keta dominated and created beautiful gowns, Hannah had to rely on charm to carry her dress through, while Choriza just chose a hideous fabric and Arantxa was basic. Ultimately a recovered Ru decreed that LGD dominated the lip sync, and despite concerns about a UK alliance, opted to be fair and send home the iconic Arantxa. Breaking all of our hearts in the process.

Backstage LGD was thrilled to have her first badge, though gutted to have been the one to send sweet Arantxa home. Choriza, meanwhile, was heartbroken that her best friend’s run was cut so short, though grateful that the world would get to know who she is. Whether they could pronounce her name or not. Everyone congratulated LGD on her win, with her explaining that she didn’t save Arantxa as she felt she did worse in the challenge and that is how she is playing. While Tia was concerned Choriza rallying against her friend means they need to watch out for her. Talk turned to who Keta voted for, with her revealing she had Choriza’s lipstick, given without Arantxa, she wouldn’t have even had an outfit. Though everyone just assumed she was voting because she was more of a threat. Which Scarlet argued is how they should all be playing. Which obviously made everyone nervous.

The next day Gothy was thrilled to be continuing to break records by surviving two eliminations. After briefly admiring LGD’s new hardware, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be designing immersive experience attractions in Drag Race World, and then starring in a commercial to sell it to us in teams of three. As the tops and bottoms of last week, LGD, Keta and Choriza were deemed team captains, with LGD selecting Hannah and Jonbers, Keta opting for Tia and Marina, while Choriza selected Scarlet and was left with poor old, record-breaking Gothy. 

After Ru departed they split up into their teams to come up with concepts. Team Choriza got to it after she and Scarlet gave Gothy a pep talk about going from being the last pick to winning the challenge, which both of them managed on their OG seasons. Choriza had bigger fish to fry, though, as the green screen in UK Season 3 was so bad it resulted in nobody winning the challenge, which is yet another Drag Race record. Scarlet meanwhile took control, ideating and executing like an advertising icon, thrilled to finally get a chance to put her advertising degree to good use. Over at Team Keta, they were hoping to highlight their different countries as Tia tried to get them to potentially do the challenge instead. Team LGD learned about Hannah’s slutty ways, as she suggested Hannah’s Cove as an option, given that was what they called the back-room at the clubs. Jonbers was leaning into Ireland, while LGD was filling her attraction with her entourage, giving people the chance to meet someone that has met her. Which is iconic.

Ru made her return to kiki, with Team Keta talking through their two-thirds travel ad, complete with trauma from Tia to bring it back to the franchise. With Tia putting her UN experience to good use, it seems. Team Choriza, meanwhile, were completely on track, as they clocked this challenge as being all about branding, as Scarlet wisely found out how Ru sees her and opted to lean all the way into that. And is she the winner and the drama? Team LGD meanwhile had Ru giggling from start to finish, thanks in no small part to Hannah talking about feeling comfortable in the UK because you are what you eat. And her husband is British. Begging the question, did I love her in Down Under or is she just killing it this season? The teams regrouped to go through the feedback and figure out how to enhance their concepts. While LGD and Choriza’s gangs were thriving, Team Keta began to spiral, as Tia desperately tried to pull them together and get them to deliver on the task.

Team Choriza were first up to film with Michelle as Scarlet got it all done in one shot, slaying the game and feeling her oats. Gothy too was loving herself sick, giving the Brit Crew a bukkake party, despite Michelle cautioning they don’t need another cum joke in the franchise. While Choriza was just kiking with the girls. Team Keta went with an airline theme, with Tia terrified about her fellow dolls. And while Marina got a few chuckles, Keta was a bit of a mess. And by a bit, a lot. Thankfully, Tia was a star, nailing every moment and being an all around delight. Team LGD meanwhile brought a little chaos as LGD struggled with her lines, which is fair, given English is her second language. Plus, the scenes were weird and I love them. Given she ran over, Hannah powered through on the fly leaving Jonbers a little more time for her scenes, which are either terrible, or the fake out. But either way, she wasn’t happy with LGD.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to beat their mugs as Hannah ockered it up as she told Tia about having to cram in her time filming. LGD told the dolls that she really struggled and knows she took up a lot of time, which clearly bothered Jonbers, who wished she had way more. Keta whispered to Marina that she thinks they did well, with Marina just blindly hoping, given she hasn’t had those sort of immersive experiences, given the queer community isn’t supported or even protected in the Philippines. LGD opened up about being a victim of a hate crime in Nice and given the police did nothing about it, she opted to move to a bigger city, Paris, for safety. Because even when the law is with us, getting justice is really hard. Which feels that little bit more poignant to hear after the tragic murders in Sydney. Leading to Jonbers reminding the world at large that it is easier to love than it is to hate, as Hannah begged them all to never get complacent.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined on the panel by the iconic Kim Petras as the dolls stomped the Ruveal Yourself runway. Which LGD owned from the first moment, going from Miss France to Miss Piss. Choriza went from Marge Simpson to slutty Marge Simpson, complete with blue bush. Tia went from Ru to Ru to Ru and hot damn, she looked good. Marina gave a dramatic erupting volcano before revealing a lava gown and yes, it was another slay. Keta went from pantsuit to pantsuit, to a burning purple witch, Hannah gave pope to showgirl and yeah, it was fun, before Jonbers gave the full rainbow to pot of gold journey. Scarlet went from white coat to orange shimmering gown before Gothy slayed in a quilted pink, mod mini, before stripping down to show off the twins. Literally.

When it came to the Drag World commercials, Team Keta’s was an absolute mess, well, Keta, anyway. As Marina and Tia arrived to serve the task and had the judges giggling, despite the Keta confusion. Team LGD’s was far more cohesive, as the dolls played off each other, had a narrative and TBH, were delightful. Hannah in particular, who was demented, doing the most with the absolute lack of time she had to film. While Jonbers closed the ad with a fizzle, sadly. They saved the best for last, however, as Team Choriza were lucky to have Scarlet’s expertise, as they gave fun, leant into the show and to quote Law Roach, did, what needed, to be done. Each and every one of them.

Marina, Hannah and Choriza were sent to safety at the back of the stage before the judges praised everything Tia did this week. Particularly given she was the star of her ad, Alan finally gets her and she leans into her brand at all times. Keta on the other hand was praised for her runway, though read for being a mess in the challenge, despite the fact she lived for her own ideas. LGD was read for being too awkward in the challenge, which I would argue was the point, proving she is the best person on the cast. Thankfully, they also lived for her pissing pants reveal runway. Jonbers was read for being too confusing in the experience and for not having any jokes, though they lived for the runway. Scarlet received wall-to-wall praise for the immersive experience and for dragging her team through, despite them wishing the reveal was more of a reveal, though they agreed it was stunning. While Gothy finally got her roses for zigging when they expected her to zag in the experience, and for giving a fun look and presentation. Which again, they loved.

Tia and Scarlet were named the top two of the week before Gothy and LGD were sent to safety, leaving Keta and Jonbers up for elimination. Backstage the dolls grabbed their drinks and toasted Tia and Scarlet on their success, as they worried about having to send someone home. Keta was obviously gutted, while Jonbers continued to complain about not having enough time to shoot. LGD hilariously just told her that her material wasn’t great. Before it exploded, the tops took a bottom each, as Keta praised Scarlet for being so stunning and lovely, joking that villains should stick together. While Scarlet worried she should send home the bigger threat, which would be Keta. Jonbers, meanwhile, was crying as she asked Tia to save her because she desperately wants it. As Tia mentioned she just wants to compete against the best, whoever that is. The safe girls talked through what they would do, with everyone saying it is Keta’s time, except for LGD, given they were in a team.

The bottoms switched places as Keta charmed Tia, despite her gut telling her that she would always save Jonbers. Tia told us that while Keta was a dud leader, she did brand herself, which was the task, so to her, she wasn’t the worst. Scarlet meanwhile praised Jonbers for being a fashion queen and looking gorgeous, though it also sounded like she was praising her as a consolation prize. Tia and Scarlet selected their lipsticks and made their way back to the mainstage to do battle. To Kim Petras’ own, Future Starts Now. Both the dolls gave a very classic Drag Race lip sync performance, though it was clear Scarlet had a fire in her, so that by the time she air-kicked Tia, it was only fair she took out the win. Before promptly sending Jonbers out the door and back to Northern Ireland.

As Jonbers sadly arrived backstage, I probably shouldn’t have screamed out “JB in the house ya’ll” like I was at a football game. But I did. And after apologising for a couple of hours, Jonbers eventually forgave me and we were able to toast a fun little run. While she may have only lasted a few episodes, I assured her she still showed growth and honestly, going out a little robbed is still better than lasting long enough to become the villain. Which, TBH, happens to the best of us. Thankfully, that was all it took to get our friendship back on track and allow us to have a craic. Whilst also smashing a delicious batch of Salted Peanut Caramel Jonbars Blonde.

Part caramel slice, part snickers, this glorious little treat is oh, so decadent. Viciously sweet with a glorious earthy crunch of the salty peanuts, it is the perfect snack to dull any and all pain. Like going from the Top Four to the third out.

Enjoy!

Salted Peanut Caramel Jonbars Blonde
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
1 cup flour
1 cup muscovado sugar
½ cup desiccated coconut
185g butter, melted
395g sweetened condensed milk
¼ cup golden syrup
2 tbsp crunchy peanut butter
100g unsalted butter
1 cup salted roasted peanuts

Method
Preheat the oven to 180°C, and line a 3cm deep slice pan.

Pop the flour, half the muscovado sugar and coconut in a bowl and stir in 125g of melted butter, until well combined. Transfer the mixture into the pan, press into the pan to form and base and pop in the oven to bake for 15 minutes.

While that bakes, combine the remaining melted butter in a pan with the condensed milk, half the golden syrup and the peanut butter. Cook, stirring, over medium heat for 8 minutes, or until golden. Pour over the base when it is cooked, return to the oven and bake for a further 10 minutes. Remove from the oven and leave to rest.

Finally, while the filling sets, place the remaining sugar, golden syrup and unsalted butter in a pan over medium heat. Cook, stirring, for 5 minutes, or until the sugar has dissolved and it has started to thicken. Remove from the heat, stir in peanuts and pour over the base. Return to the oven and back for another 10 minutes, or until golden and cooked.

Remove from the oven and allow to cool completely before slicing. And then devouring, like an icon.


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Mushroom Cream Gnoccott Butler

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, Pasta, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor the tribes were given the options between enjoying a feast together or returning to their camps with a clue with the easiest to find immunity idol known to man. Knowing things were dire with no easy target, Ri, Mark and Eden opted for idols at Rebels, as Ri pipped the boys at the post and jagged it. While Alex grabbed the Titans one after Feras spotted it and left it for a few hours until Alex could figure it out. But hey, he was better than Aileen. While at the feast, Kelli was busy spilling all Kirby’s secrets to Kitty. After Rebels stormed away with immunity, the Titans all decided Kelli was too chaotic and needed to go, finally forcing Feras and Kirby to put down their weapons. Kirby though decided to keep things just that little bit messy, trying to spook the boys into playing their idols at the same time. Sadly for her, both of them held firm as Kelli was shown the door. But did it ruin relationships? Who knows.

The next day things were very chill at the Titans camp as Kirby slowly woke up and spoke about how gagged she was that Kelli was blindsided. Pointing out that it is potentially the biggest of the season. Alex, obvi, was thrilled his nemesis was gone, while Kirby and Feras were just happy to be on the same page, knowing they need each other for the next phase of the game. She was also grateful to have Valeria and Mark onside, thinking her relationship with V is the key to not just moving forward but making the end. Alex and Valeria caught up, with Alex keeping his cards close, though admitted Mark is definitely on the outs of the OG Titans, which was all she needed to hear to take over this week’s iconic Shonee revenge arc.

The skies opened up as JLP and the tribes came together by the beach where they were gagged to learn that they would be merging. Meaning the Middle Aged Mafia is about the go, no? Eden was thrilled to have made the merge, not just due to now being dateable, but also to rocket up his game. Mark was excited to see what happens, while Valeria ominously mentioned that things are about to get murky and people best keep their wits about them, lest they be blindsided.

Instead of sending everyone back to camp, JLP put them through their paces in the first individual reward challenge where they would stand on a thin bar and hold an upturned bow and balance a ball. With the victor winning $60K, a bed for the night and the title of spectator at the next tribal council where they can watch and vibe, knowing they are safe. Powerless, but safe. Caroline was the first out of the challenge before everyone moved down to narrower sections of the beam after 10 minutes. That claimed a few more scalps as Ray, Winna and Kirby all dropped in quick succession. After 20 minutes, they moved on to the narrowest section which led to Mark falling on the transition before Feras, Kitty, Jaden and Alex soon followed. Aileen was next to go, followed by Eden, who made the odd choice to squat. After 35 minutes, Ri dropped out of nowhere, finally followed by Scott, handing Valeria victory. Which tragically meant she wouldn’t be able to personally get her revenge tonight.

The merged tribe made their way back to camp, delighting in how beautiful Valeria’s bed looked. Scott meanwhile was feeling a little odd and emotional, worried about how the next phase will play out. And given he named the merged tribe Tasi, I am hoping he will thrive. He started to get to know some of the newbies, particularly vibing with Kitty. Ri and Kirby caught up by the fire, with Kirby telling her she will catch up with Scott before telling her any plans. While Caroline and Kitty were desperately whispering to Jaden that they need to keep the Titans together. Feras meanwhile was making lots of friends, which made Caroline nervous. As such, she pulled Alex, Ri and Kitty aside to try and lock in a majority, and while he sounds like he is interested, I think Alex is definitely non-committal.

Caroline then decided that she needed to catch up with Valeria and make sure she doesn’t realise that they orchestrated Viola’s downfall. She and Kitty lay it on thick, talking about how Mark doesn’t deserve to make it to the end and isn’t trustworthy, so they are glad to have her back on their side. And oh ladies, you’re screwed. Mark and Feras caught up to talk about plans, though instead of locking anything in, Mark wandered off to find Winna and Valeria to loop them in on what actually happened on the second Rebels tribe. With both of them living for his attempts at revenge, and looking forward to working together to achieve it. Eventually. Valeria then scrubbed up and made herself comfortable in her bed, offering to take people’s confession and all around living her best life. And yes, I love that for her.

The next day the tribe reconnected with JLP for the first individual immunity challenge where they would each have to hold a bar up using their legs, to keep a chute holding a ball upright. With the last one holding their ball jagging the win. Kirby was rather confident that wouldn’t be her, so opted to rest instead. She was followed out by Raymond, Kitty and Caroline, with the last two delighting the hell out of Valeria. Mark was shaking out as Kirby told Scott and Ri to just drop, given they aren’t at risk. And I feel like Scott isn’t loving this arrogance. Eden, Aileen and Rianna all dropped in quick succession, before Scott eventually followed. Feras then dropped out of nowhere, as everyone started to whisper about needing anyone but Alex to win, making me feel like we’ve missed some key scenes. After ten minutes, Mark finally put himself out of his misery by dropping, followed by Alex, as Jaden and Winna started doing crunches for fun. The duo were still battling after 20 minutes before Jaden dropped, given he didn’t like the look of the necklace and felt it would look good on Winna instead.

Back at camp everyone was feeling super nervous, unsure how things would play out at the first tribal council. The OG Titans were feeling quietly confident however, given Winna is immune and Valeria has safety without power. Ri joined them as they quickly locked in a split vote between Raymond and Feras, with Eden suggesting King Ray needs to be the one to go to weaken Feras. So bye Eden, I now hate you. They split up to lock in extra votes with Alex happy to do whatever as long as it isn’t him – swoon, just like Sandra! Mark and Ray caught up on the shore, while Eden continued to loop in OG Rebels, as Kirby and Feras watched on, laughing about how silly they were.

Ri and Valeria caught up with Kirby to tell her the plan, and while Ri thought it felt right, Kirby thankfully put her foot down. As such, Valeria threw out the possibility of blindsiding Kitty instead, given she is the most likely person from the Middle Aged Mafia to win immunity and ruin their future plans. The wind then got super intense, blowing an absolute gale and almost destroying the shelter. Scott meanwhile was struggling under the pressure, not wanting Kitty to go, given they had formed a bond. While also being super worried about Kirby growing too close to Valeria, and handing her the power instead of them. Sadly for the OG Rebels, he then told Kitty that the votes were actually coming for her, as Kirby watched on in shock. And promptly pulled him away for a walk to talk about life outside of the game.

The Titans started to panic, wondering where he heard that name and as such, decided to find out directly from him.They cornered poor Scott, along with Alex and Ri, before Scott eventually named Mark and Valeria as the source. Caroline and Kitty then angrily went to the shelter to confront them, getting rather hostile with them before Valeria eventually just decided to lay the blame with Feras. Which calmed them all down and lulled them into a false sense of security. Mark caught up with Eden and Ri, pointing out that Caroline and Kitty confronted him when he didn’t even do anything. Eden tried to broker peace, getting them to abandon the split vote and instead load their votes on Raymond. Before telling Alex to vote with them and play his idol for Kitty, because ok Eden, sure. That will happen. Caroline then yelled at Valeria for wearing Nathan’s jacket, given she had claimed it and damn, the old gals are spiralling.

At tribal council Valeria took her place on the jury bench as Winna spoke about how grateful he is to have immunity, given the camp was super chaotic all afternoon, with multiple plans and agendas. Suggesting others should have tried harder in the challenge. Raymond spoke about feeling like he knows what is happening, though is also sure he is missing out on a lot of things. Alex spoke about how the sheer size of the tribe made coming up with a plan all the more difficult. Eden mentioned that the first merge tribal council is one of the biggest, given it draws the line in the sand and sets the agenda moving forward. Caroline agreed it would help clarify where everyone stands, as Kitty mentioned that her name came out there. Talking about how people underestimate her, but she is actually smart and successful and as such, if she is still in the tribe tomorrow, she will be gunning for the person that threw her name out. Which is more incentive to get rid of her, TBH.

Kitty grew more and more fired up, as Scott spoke about how his innate empathy is really making the game really hard right now. And while making the merge is a dream come true, he has been struggling with his mental health and as such, wants to quit, to let the people wanting to stick around and fight have that shot. He opened up about how he has always been an optimist, despite his mental health, and in the game, he hasn’t exactly had a reprieve. At all. Kirby spoke about how she has noticed how Scott has started to struggle and she supports whatever he needs. Eden spoke about how proud of him he is, for doing what is right for him. Alex started to cry, Caroline told him how brave he is before he sadly stood up, grabbed his torch and headed out.

As he arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled him in for a massive hug and then promptly broke down in his arms. Scott was such a delight to have on this season, and while I support him leaving to look after himself, I am equally heartbroken to not see a fellow queer person thrive. And ideally win, because trust, he has all the skills to make it to the end. After reminding him of all those things, I reiterated that I am so proud of him before pulling him in for a final hug as we joyfully smashed a warm Mushroom Cream Gnoccott Butler.

This dish combines two of my favourite, warming things – potato and cream. And hot damn, is it good. Earthy, rich and packing a hidden punch, this quick and easy meal (assuming the gnocchi is already set) still feels decadent. Which is always iconic, no?

Enjoy!

Mushroom Cream Gnoccott Butler
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g gnocchi
3 tablespoon unsalted butter
2 cups mushrooms, thinly sliced
4 shallots, minced
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 tbsp rosemary, roughly chopped
1 tsp chilli flakes
1 cup chicken stock
1 tablespoon wholegrain mustard
1 cup thickened cream
1 cup parmesan cheese, grated
kosher salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Bring a pot of salted water to the boil, and once rollicking, cook the gnocchi per packed instructions.

Pop the butter in a large skillet over medium heat and once foamy, add the mushrooms. Cook, stirring, for 10 minutes or so, or until they are browned and all their liquid has been reabsorbed. Add the shallots and cook for a further few minutes, before stirring in the garlic, rosemary and chilli and cooking off for a minute.

Stirring all the time, slowly pour in the stock, followed by the cream and then the parmesan. Cook, stirring frequently until the sauce comes together. Season to taste and stir in the gnocchi.

Before stirring and devouring.


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Arantxa Castilla-La Mash & Fries

RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World 2, Side, Snack, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World 11 queens from across the globe descended on the UK, ready to prove themselves to be the fairest of them all. Or, you know, the second best of the top four, but I digress. Immediately Ru threw down the gauntlet, making them star in a little Queens’ Variety Show. I assume to mark Chuckie’s coronation, but again, I’ve digressed. When it came to the performances, Mayhem found herself hilarious and forgot the rest, Marina was an ICON, Gothy lacked power as she literally ate fire while Le Grand Dame was stupid in the best way. When Gothy and Mayhem landed in the bottom, it was up to Marina and LGD to choose who to send home before Marina won the ultimate power. And promptly sent Mayhem straight back to Riverside, ending the run of all US dolls making it to the end of Vs the World seasons.

Backstage Tia was shocked that Mayhem was gone, despite the fact she clearly bombed the talent show. Funny and iconic, but a total bomb. After the dolls congratulated Marina, she explained that she sent home the legend because she just wants to give Gothy the chance to actually shine, given they have all had the full experience. Oh and then she made a joke about how poor taste it was to wipe off the message, given she is a Filipina cleaning a mirror in the UK. Again, she is an icon. Gothy meanwhile was on cloud nine to have made it to the second episode and ugh, her joy truly is super cute. Hannah, being Australian, asked LGD to share who she had voted for, with her agreeing she voted to get rid of Mayhem as she wants the world to get the chance to fall in love with Mayhem. Like Arantxa, who spoke about how emotional she is to be among this cast, as LGD reminded her it may be her hormones.

Oh and then the UK dolls caught up to strategise, with Hannah loudly and hilariously pointing out the alliance was meeting. As the holiday makers pointed out they outnumber the UK girlies, warning that they best be careful.

The next day Marina unveiled her gold badge and while LGD was a little jealous, she assured us she will be the next to jag one, so wasn’t overly bothered. Scarlet pointed out that given four UK girls are around, they should be nervous about being the targets. Though Choriza pointed out that the first elimination actually calmed her, given it is clear they are playing fairly. Tia meanwhile was too happy about having walked the runway in front of Ru in a nice outfit for the first time to care. Which, lol, is iconic. Michelle then dropped by to put the girls through their paces in an itty bitty quiz mini challenge with the most glorious of Brit Crew members. Everyone decreed Marina the Fairest in the Land, Shadiest was named as Hannah – doing Down Under proud, obvi –  Mightiest (aka Biggest Competition) was also named Marina while Neediest was Arantxa, aka most in Need of some new Drag. Which pissed off Jonbers, given she got three votes, which she obviously felt wasn’t fair.

But over to the maxi challenge, which Michelle announced was the ball. And not just any ball, but The Happy Endings Ball. First category they would walk in their Lady Prince Charming looks, in category two they would serve She-vil Queen, while finally, they would walk in Drags to Riches Eleganza, which they would make using scraps of fabric left behind by the Brit Crew. Since the dolls felt Arantxa was needy, she got an extra 10 seconds to grab at it before the rest of the dolls joined the fray. And as is tradition, create absolute chaos. Choriza was busy hoarding literally everything, leaving Tia was next to nothing. Which obviously made her nervous, given sewing challenges are really not her jam. 

Hannah pulled together a bunch of knitted mice, hoping they would help her through, given she is a hot glue gun queen. She then caught up with Jonbers, who eventually admitted she was pressed, so put it to the crowd. WIth Marina straight up admitting to it, before Gothy eventually zoned-in and claimed the second one while the third person stayed silent. Until they all started listing their votes, forcing Choriza to admit it was her. With a laugh. Everyone got busy working away and bartering fabrics, as LGD opened up about coming so close to winning the ball in her first season – thanks Paloma – that she is looking for redemption. She caught up with Tia, flirting hard to try and get fabric, while Tia was just wanting her to get it.

Michelle interrupted before it became BBC after dark, with Marina sharing she would make a shimmering mermaid gown and while it is a big task, she is confident in herself. And hot glue. While Scarlet was going classic Cinderella. Hannah was excited to go with something shimmering and neon, while Keta was going dark and moody, Gothy was looking forward to putting her fashion background to use to serve pastels, LGD was the polar opposite, going with futuristic shimmering gold and ugh, I love her. Arantxa meanwhile was looking forward to serving Wednesday Addams at the prom realness, opening up about how her style is missing because she never got the chance to trial as a teen girl, in honour of the woman she has always been, given she missed out on those milestones after transitioning as an adult. Tia meanwhile was going full glamour in cherry red velvet, Choriza was looking forward to another owl shitting in her eye and Jonbers was vibing on an 80s Lacroix inspired number.

Michelle then asked if the UK dolls will be sticking together, with Jonbers straight up saying they will. Sadly for her, in front of everyone. After Michelle left, Tia opened up about her design being dedicated to Cherry Valentine, given she knows that if she was still here, she would be an All Star by now. And ugh, I just want to hug her and Cherry, as the entire situation is tragic. But Tia slaying the ball in her honour is all I care about now.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone splitting up to put the finishing touches on their looks. Except for Hannah, who felt she was done. I assume emotionally, as the gown is straight up trash, so hopefully her charm sells it. Arantxa’s look was held together with safety pins and a prayer. Scarlet obviously put being a third timer to good use, giving the dolls a pep talk to sell the garment, if nothing else. Even if their looks are mediocre.

Ru recovered enough to appear on the panel alongside Michelle, Graham and Adwoa Aboah as the dolls opened The Happy Endings Ball in their Lady Prince Charming looks. Hannah was camp as hell, giving Better Midler as Prince Charming in Shrek 2, Jonbers was a glorious plaid prancer while Arantxa was a cute Bowie. Tia gave glam Robin Hood realness, LGD was stunning in a high fashion blue suit giving the silliest faces and sound effects as she ran the railroads in Gaultier, Scarlet was a half-stripped warrior in white and Keta was a glorious knight. Gothy served a stunning twink in a little floral number, Marina was perfect as an underwater prince before Choriza gave a moody matador Dali. And yeah, it was a slay.

On the She-Vil Queens runway, Hannah cackled away in a classic black and navy gown serving nothing but drama. Jonbers was glorious in a slutty dragon look, Arantxa gave Mean Girls devil, Tia’s gown dedicated to Cherry’s promo look was perfect, emotional and ugh, she should really be proud of herself. LGD then came out as an alien queen, obviously serving wacky noises, Scarlet was green, moody and powerful, before Keta literally rode the dragon all over the runway and ugh, it was funny. And I love it. Gothy was monochromatic and glam as Daphne Guiness, Marina served Dugong realness and lets just say, it was so weird and I love it. While Choriza was smoking and purple, as the upcycled owl from Season 3. Obscuring all the views in the process.

Closing it out with their Drags to Riches Eleganza, Hannah was a total mess, though TBH, not as bad as I was expecting. Jonbers looked good in a shimmering ruffled number, Arantxa was a cute goth teen, Tia gave glamour in a gown, which honestly is above adequate and LGD was a straight up golden goddess and just give her the win now, please! Scarlet revealed her gorgeous Cinderella gown, complete with the Season 1 filter reveal, Keta was a gorgeous dame, kinda giving Narcissa Malfoy. Gothy was puffy pink perfection and damn, this is the rudemption she was looking for, and I love it. Marina was beautiful in her gown which honestly looks better made then her first look before Chroiza closed the show as the ugly step sisters, complete with dead owl in a cage.

Jonbers, Tia, Scarlet and Gothy were sent to safety at the back of the stage before the judges praised Hannah for her charm and personality, though read the final look for being ugly. Despite feeling it was a little fun. Arantxa was essentially read for not giving enough when it came to the details, though she was proud to have a chance to bully for once and ugh, I love her. LGD received wall to wall praise, obviously, because she is perfection. Keta too was absolutely beloved for giving glamour, polish and jokes, finally letting the judges see her personality. Marina once again was beloved, despite the judges feeling like the first look didn’t exactly make sense for the category. And they had no idea who Dugong was. Choriza meanwhile was praised for having all the ideas, though read for a bunch of fit issues. Particularly the last one, which was just too basic.

Ultimately Le Grand Dame and Keta Minaj were named the top two of the week, Marina and Hannah were safe, leaving Arantxa and Choriza up for elimination. Backstage the queens congratulated the top two, with Keta joking it just feels correct. Even though it is simply a fact. Keta praised all the girls for doing a good job, before Choriza and Arantxa spoke about how much it sucks to be in the bottom with their bestie. Keta caught up with Arantxa, thanking her for giving her the pattern for her dress. Arantxa spoke about how excited she is to represent the trans community, not wanting it to end. Meanwhile Choriza opened up to LGD about how she is friends with Arantxa, though knows she did better than her sister. LGD meanwhile only cared that if a UK queen lands in the bottom and deserves to go, Choriza would send the right girl home. 

The safe girls were kikiing, with Scarlet hoping Choriza goes given she is more competition. Once again confirming she is the drama. Arantxa really drove home the potential UK alliance to LGD, while reiterating how close they have gotten. Choriza took her no alliance message to Keta, reiterating she has nothing to worry about. While neither doll really could tell where Keta stands, given she has an epic poker face. Or doesn’t care.

After selecting their lipsticks, Keta and Le Grand Dame took their places on the stage. As Cascada’s Everytime We Touch kicked off, it was clear LGD was desperate to jag her first win, hitting every letter, giving all the energy, drama and camp and ugh, again, I love her. How is someone that perfect also so damn stupid and weird?! While Keta was a killer lip syncer, just as she promised, Ru loves to laugh and as such, LGD rightly took out victory. And then promptly sent sweet Arantxa home. After sobbing in Choriza’s arms, that is.

She then followed the sound of my sobs backstage before I jumped into her arms. Arantxa held me for the hours it took for me to calm down, before I was finally able to spit out how proud of her I was. Despite being the second boot and robbing us of a season full of joy, Arantxa’s two episodes showed how much of a delight she is, and hopefully, earned her a spot on a future All Stars season as you know that glow up is going to be epic. And until then, we have Arantxa Castilla-La Mash & Fries.

Credit to this delight goes to Antoni Porowski, who was brave enough to think, there isn’t enough potato if you have mash or chips, so why not combine them! And ugh, it is perfection. Particularly with a hearty kick of sour cream and chives.

Enjoy!

Arantxa Castilla-La Mash & Fries
Serves: 2 dear friends slash icons.

Ingredients
1 batch Jud Beerza Battered Fries
500g russet potatoes, peeled and cut into 2cm chunks
3 tbsp unsalted butter
120g sour cream
120ml milk
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
2 tbsp chives, finely sliced

Method
Prep the fries as per Jud’s recipe.

While those are underway, pot the potatoes in a large pot of salted water and bring to the boil over high heat. Once rollicking, reduce slightly and boil for 10-15 minutes, or until tender. Drain and return to the pan, cover with the lid and place over the turned-off hob to steam for a minute.

Add the butter to the pan with a good whack of salt and pepper, and mash until smooth. Stir in the sour cream and milk, and return to a low heat to cook through, adjusting the seasoning as required.

To serve, dish the mash into a bowl, top with fries and a sprinkle of chives. And then, devour.


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Blueberry & Jessicustard Pienaher

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Baking, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor 24 new castaways were dumped on the islands of Samoa. Split based on whether they were rule makers or breakers, Titans faced off against the Rebels to find which approach would prove superior. And if the first episode is anything to go by, the Rebels are going to demolish, as the Titans struggled to listen to each other, allowing the Rebels to expertly work together and win back to back challenges. At the Titans, Nathan, Frankie and Jaden were keen to take control given they identified themselves as cool and strong. Sadly for them, three does not a majority make, leading to Eden and Mark orchestrating a coup before they could even try to take control, icing Frankie and leaving Nathan without any friends.

Though still, he looks good in a speedo. And that matters.

The next day things were still delightful over at the Rebels as Alex rocked out in his speedo and the tribe were frankly just vibing and living their best lives. Despite the fact Kelli is at an 11 at all times, though to be fair, she was focused on Alex and how good he looks in said speedo, I relate to her on a deep level. Even if she is so irritating, everyone wants her gone ASAP. The tribe caught up around the fire to brush their teeth with charcoal and while it looked like they literally ate shit, they were feeling fresh and lovely. Tobias and Sarah meanwhile were slowly falling in love, chatting as they worked on the shelter. After learning about her career as a firefighter, she told us that she, Tobias, Peta and Alex have quickly locked in an alliance. While Raymond was busy running around the jungle, making things awkward and being all around sketchy. Which I hate, as he is adorbs. And to reiterate, works in DVDs, which is a dying market, so he needs this.

Over at the Titans things were still well and truly a mess as Nathan opened up to Winna about feeling left out after Frankie’s blindside, talking about how much he just wished he knew it was coming. And yeah, I’m sure he and Frankie wish they knew. While he was heartbroken to have lost someone he knew for two days, everyone else tried to act like they cared. Thankfully we pivoted to Eden and Mark, who joyfully reflected on taking control by orchestrating Frankie’s demise. Despite the fact Jessica had convinced herself it was all her idea. She well and truly started to feel her oats, and while she thinks she is in charge, it is clear Mark and Eden won’t let her believe it for long.

The tribes came together with JLP for the reward challenge where the tribes would compete in rounds playing tug of war over a huge crate. With the victors jagging the item within the crate in each round. Nathan and Jaden faced off against Alex and Feras, and while the Titans kinda made quick work of things, it was mainly because of Mark’s coaching from the sidelines rather than their strength. As the Titans celebrated jagging fishing gear, Peta and Aileen lined up opposite Caroline and Valeria. And quickly found themselves in a stalemate for 10 minutes before Mark, once again, coached the dolls into another win. This time just a couple of bananas, which honestly doesn’t seem worth it. Tobias, Sarah, Scott, Rianna and Kirby made quick work of Jess, Mark, Kitty, Viola and Winna, jagging the Rebels supplies to make smores. Before the final round saw Garrick and Raymond battle Eden and Charles for a massive tarp. And despite the Rebels starting strong, they quickly faded and found themselves overpowered as the Titans took out victory.

Back at camp the Titans were on cloud nine to finally have a win under their belts, vibing over the tarp, bananas and fishing gear. Mark in particular was thrilled to have a bestie in Eden and that they found another dynamic duo to align with, the Super Vs. Winna meanwhile almost choked while eating his banana after finding a clue hidden inside. He went for a swim with Jaden and shared it with him, kinda, though was a little bit too vague for Jaden to be able to do anything with the information. Thankfully he was pretty sure he knew where the idol was hidden, so planned to make a beeline for the palm tree the next day. Which totally means someone else will grab it today, right?

The next morning Winna woke up nice and early, so went for a walk to collect his idol and surprisingly it was still there! Once again proving that if Australian Survivor is going to do one thing consistently, it will instantly shut down my predictions.

The tribes reunited for the latest immunity challenge where they would race to climb a very tall frame, crawl through a twisted net and release coconuts from a shoot above their heads. And then shoot said coconuts in a basket held up by the rival tribe with the last tribe standing taking out the win. Once again the Rebels got out to an early lead after powering over the frame, before Aileen got stuck in the net. Jess then snatched the lead for the Titans before Raymond tied things back up as both tribes got the hang of the obstacle. When it came to the coconuts, the Titans started to struggle, allowing the Rebels to snatch back the lead which gave them a head start to weigh down the bag. Sadly Nathan was kinda an icon, weighing down the Rebels basket far quicker and giving Viola and Jaden more time to hold one. Though it was all for nought, sadly, as Alex got his eye in, loading up the Titans before they dropped out of nowhere, handing the Rebels another immunity.

Back at camp the tribe were heartbroken to have come so close to taking out victory but choking at the end. Speaking of choking, Nathan once again was winning me over in his speedo. As he went to wash off, Eden and Mark caught up and decided they needed to get Jess to identify a name so they used that to rally the tribe against her. Sadly for that plan, Jess approached Nathan to see what he was thinking, with Jess admitting she wants to focus on strength. And when Nathan floated Eden, she was on board, so the duo split up and got to work floating that name.

Sadly for Jess, she evidently didn’t realise how close Mark was to Eden and after catching up with him by the well, it was clear her confidence is likely going to bite her. After splitting up, Mark quickly got to work rallying the tribe against Jess, but hoped to keep it secret from Eden, as he is likely to spiral if he knew he was a target. And that would actually help convince them to get rid of him instead. Sadly for him, Valeria chose honesty, warning Eden that Jess was coming for him and as predicted, he started to spiral. He went person to person, floating a vote split between Jess and Nathan, just in case she has an idol and would get him out with a single vote. And while people seemed keen to protect him, the panic made Mark nervous.

At tribal council Caroline spoke about the early votes being easy as the relationships are all fresh and there is less need to lie. While Viola felt everyone was on the same page, she admitted she was always nervous for a surprise before Nathan shared he is more confident about this vote than the last. Despite also being confident about it last night, just wrong. Eden opened up about knowing his name had been thrown out today and as such, he is feeling far more nervous about the vote ahead. While both Nathan and Jess looked on nervously. Jess spoke about how it is important to stay a couple of steps ahead of the game, while Nathan reiterated his confidence. This time adding in the fact he hadn’t heard a name.

Jess then came out and spoke about her running the plan against Frankie, thinking it would win hearts and minds. Sadly, though, it only seemed to annoy Nathan, Jaden and Winna. Eden then asked Jess if she threw out his name, with her doubling down and arguing that she was always happy to hear other names, but nobody spoke up. While Mark ominously mentioned that the performances at tribal council really highlighted who he wanted to work with moving forward. With that the tribe voted and despite Jess feeling like a baller, it was clear her performance did not do what she thought it would, as the tribe rallied together to boot her from the tribe.

As she arrived at Loser Lodge, Jess was very confused about how it turned on her. And given I am kind of that guy, I outlined that being smug and performing for a jury that doesn’t start for a literal month, probably wasn’t the smartest move to make alliances. Particularly since she (thinks she) used Frankie, Nathan and Jaden being smug to rally the troops last episode. To her credit, Jess copped the brutal assessment on the chin and admitted she struggled to make connections, so the smugness came from the fact she was proud of overcoming that initial difficulty. Which made me feel super guilty as I plated up a Blueberry & Jessicustard Pienaher and toasted that accomplishment.

This pie gives off classic bakery treat energy in all the right ways. The crust is short and crumbly, the custard smooth and velvety and the blueberries tart and plump. And together, it is simply heavenly.

Enjoy!

Blueberry & Jessicustard Pienaher
Serves: 4-8.

Ingredients
250g flour, plus more for dusting
50g icing sugar
155g cold unsalted butter, cubed
3 eggs
1 ½ cups milk 
½ cup double cream
¾ cup raw caster sugar 
⅓ cup cornstarch 
4 tsp vanilla extract 
¾ tsp salt
500g blueberries 
1 tbsp lemon juice 
1 tsp lemon zest 

Method
Place the flour and icing sugar in a food processor and blitz to remove any lumps. Add 125g butter and blitz some more until it just starts to come together. Add an egg and blitz again. If it doesn’t come together, add a tablespoon of ice cold water, blitzing after each addition, until you have a smooth dough that just comes together. Once formed, shape into a disc, cover in cling and place in the fridge to chill for an hour or so.

Preheat the oven to 180C.

Dust a clean bench and a rolling-pin with flour and roll out the pastry until it is 4mm thick. Cut into 4-8 rounds and line pie pans. Trim off any excess dough and prick the base with a fork. Transfer to the oven and bake for ten-fifteen minutes, or until lightly golden and cooked through. Remove to a cooling rack until completely cooled.

While things get chill, combine the milk and cream in a medium saucepan and place over low heat until steaming. In a large bowl, whisk the remaining eggs with a quarter of a cup of cornstarch, half the vanilla, half a cup of sugar and ½ tsp salt until combined. Still whisking, slowly pour in the hot milk until it is all combined before transferring back to the saucepan.

Increase heat to medium and cook, whisking constantly, until the mixture boils and thickens. Remove from the heat and whisk in the remaining butter to combine. Divide the custard between the pie cases and pop them in the fridge to set for an hour or two.

In a medium saucepan, combine 2 tablespoons of cold water with the remaining cornstarch, and mix into a slurry. Add the blueberries, remaining sugar, lemon juice and zest, and the remaining vanilla and salt. Pop the saucepan over low heat and cook, stirring regularly, until the mixture thickens and loses its cloudiness. Remove from the heat and allow to cool for ten minutes before scooping on top of the pies and return to the fridge to set overnight.

Then, and only then, do you devour.


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Frankie Guascide Double

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Burgers, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor eight batches of castaways were marooned in the middle of nowhere, ready to face the elements and each other until only one remained. A sole survivor, if you will. Of course there were also a duo of floptina seasons on 9 and 7, but as is oft the case, I’ve digressed. Last year, a batch of Heroes and Villains were pitted against each other and gurl, there was drama. Though once again George proved to lack the skills to jag a win, as Shonee’s bestie Liz stood taller than the rest, avenged her blindside and snatched the win. 

This year, we’re back in Samoa, as 24 castaways were split down tribal lines based on whether they are successes or march to the beat of their own drum. Or as marketing has positioned it, Titans or Rebels. Aka Champions V Contenders 3, with David vs Goliath teas. But that doesn’t matter either, what matters is that JLP’s arms are back on our screen. First we met Titan Viola who is charming, ripped and frankly iconic, and that just isn’t because she could (rightly) crush me like a bug. I mean, she anointed herself Queen V and yeah, it feels correct. Lawyer Charles was less charming, but was also super successful and rocked socks and sandals, so I have a soft spot. Valeria was next up, an iconic model and damn I hope she lasts as that fluffy jacket will struggle in the weather after a month and I need to watch that journey. And then we met Mark the diplomat, who gives off the energy of an early flameout or a strong winner. Likely no in between. Oh and Nathan is ripped, which is sometimes all that matters. But who knows, maybe he will be more.

We pivoted from our rule makers to our rule breakers and what they lacked in Viola and Valeria, they made up for in sheer scrappy energy. Garrick rocked a leather jacket like all good mall cops as he gave big ‘hey, fellow youths’ energy, bar manager Peta looks like Nat Bass covered in tatts, Kelli the psychologist feels better placed on the Titans at first glance based on her career as a psych, but looks wild and ugh, I live for it. Though I would obvs hate it if I was on the beach with her. Oh and Feras is kinda hot, though he loves King George, so I worry about him being way too much. And then there is poor old Ray works in DVDs, so we know he needs a win in this modern era of streaming.

The Rebels stopped looping the Titans boat and taunting them long enough for everyone to disembark and meet Jonathan on the shore for the first challenge of the season. After a little getting to know you, that is. Kelli was first up introducing herself, dancing around and turning me on her quicker than Silky Nutmeg Ganache on her first season. Before we fell in love with her again on All Stars, that is. Raymond from DVDs was self-deprecating before JLP bounced over to the actual Titans, where Viola straight up queened it around. Again. Because, duh. Oh and Jaden is a soft giant hunk of man. Which is not thirst, just a fact.

But, finally, the challenge.

After everyone whacked on their buffs they learnt they would race out to a pontoon to collect fire making gear, bring it back, build a fire to light a massive totem and burn through their flag. With the winners getting fire and flint. Losers, obvi, get nothing. The tribes raced out where I met my current favourite, Alex, who was rocking a hot pink speedo. So swoon, give him the coin. Shut it down, thank you zaddy. The Titans did a little chain, while the Rebels just schlepped it back solo and kinda powered ahead. Though maybe because Tobias is built like an absolute unit. And if he were in a speedo, I presume, he would be my fave. But alas. The Titans realised they were in trouble, so pivoted, to copy the Rebels. Everyone kind of agreed they had enough wood at the same time, so it became a battle to get a flame with Nathan powering for the Titans while Aileen kinda struggled. She traded out with Rianna as Nathan lit the torch and lit the fire. Sadly for the Titans, however, they hadn’t built it up enough and it went out just as quickly. As Alex sauntered back and forth in his speedo, Tobias traded in for Rianna and got fire, lighting the Rebels torch to light  their fire, before they nurtured it long enough to light the totem and flag, handing them the first victory over the Titans.

Proving, once again, that nothing beats a man in speedos. And yes, using that logic, Alex is my winner pick. Viola will have to be our Fourth Place Robbed Goddess, I guess.

We followed the victors back to camp as the tribe made their official introductions with Alex sharing he is a maths teacher, Rianna opting to go by Riri, sweet Scott won my heart simply by working for Mona (again, swoon). Kelli meanwhile is planning to hide being a psychologist, which makes sense but is unlikely to matter in the long run, given she is an easy target if they lose the first challenge. Alex meanwhile cemented himself as my winner pick, ready to use being a teacher to read the tribe and adjust his behaviour accordingly like he does in the school.

Over at the new Titans camp, superfan Eden was vibing and in shock to be on a tribe with a former AFL player, a strong man, a lawyer, diplomat, lecturer and a midwife. Despite Eden potentially nerding people into booting him out, his plan to win hearts and minds by using his passion for film as a cinema manager is wise. I mean, the logic that everyone has a favourite movie tracks and I have high hopes for him. Plus,  he seemed to find a nice pack of nerds to shield him from drama. Nathan, Jaden and Winna, aka the strong guys, all proved to have no idea how to build a shelter or really contribute, which annoyed the shit out of literally everyone. None more so than the women, who watched them stare at Valeria while they worked thatching palm frond roofing.

Frankie and Nathan wandered off to find supplies, cementing a quick little alliance because she felt he was so dumb that she could well and truly control him. She flagged Valeria as a potential risk to her game but wanted to keep strength for the moment. While she formed real alliances with weaker people like Eden and Caroline to take control. And presumably make it to the end together so she can beat them in challenges, which TBH, is shortsighted. But I digress, maybe she will shine.

We returned to the Rebels the next morning where Feras was vibing with the beauty of the location, despite the fact he had zero sleep the night before. Mainly because Kelli refused to shut up as Alex and Peta had a naughty cuddle, as did Tobias and Sarah. Before he could get into the deets, we ventured over to the Titans, where things were decidedly more bleak as the tribe got drenched by the rain as they continued to struggle with forming anything close to resembling a shelter. Valeria, more than anyone, was filled with rage over the situation, hoping for them to figure something else before she ages like she is on the beach from Old due to the sleeping conditions. Valeria and Viola, thankfully, were vibing and ready to lock in a tight alliance, hoping to loop in with Frankie and Mark. Speaking of Mark, he was busy speaking Thai with Winna, while Jessica started to spiral, feeling like she is on the outs. 

After Nathan briefly rocked some speedos like the zaddy he is, he caught up with Jess who made the most of her nerves, pointing out a lot of the strong girls have the same skills – being strong – and as such, suggested Frankie was disposable. Which Nathan obviously took straight back to Frankie and just like that, Jess, you in danger girl!

The tribes came together with Jonathan for the first immunity challenge of the season where they would have to race to lift a crate to uncover a heavy wrecking ball. They would then pull it through a series of obstacles before rolling it down a ramp to knock over pins. First to knock them all down, jagging immunity and saving themselves from joining the Des Quilty first boot club. Given the Titans are ripped, they got out to an early lead until the Rebels overtook them and pulled ahead, giving them a very handy head start. The Rebels powered through the obstacles, until Jaden and Winna double handedly closed the gap. Both tribes took different approaches with getting the ball to the top of the tower, with the Rebels once again playing it smart and taking back the lead as they quickly knocked their first pin. As the Titans struggled to get the ball up, the Rebels got to work prepping for their second go around, knocking another target as the Titans got their first. Despite going for their third roll, the Rebels missed, which left the Titans enough time to make a play to overtake. Sadly, however they tangled their roped, leaving the Rebels to knock the last over and scoring immunity.

Back at camp the Titans were all nervous and anxious as Jessica pulled them together to call them out for not being smart or cohesive, and losing everything. Frankie immediately jumped in and told everyone they tried their best and that is all that should matter. While Jessica kinda continued to stand her ground, despite clearly annoying people. As they split up, Frankie and Nathan quickly locked in their votes for Jessica before splitting up and going person to person to rally the troops. Nathan, thankfully, in speedos. Zaddy Nathan, however, told Kitty and Caroline to stick with him and he will carry them through the game, which makes me nervous. While Frankie, Viola and Valeria spoke about looking forward to getting rid of Jess and sleeping soundly. 

Nathan moved on to Eden, locking in an alliance, telling Eden too that he should stick with him, Jaden and Frankie. And while everyone would love to be carried, Eden clocked the offer for what it is, and as such, decided to rally a counter move. Or at least, the majority in Nathan’s majority. After Eden locked in Kitty and Caroline, he went to Mark to loop him in. Jess arrived at the same time, calling out the strong trio and somehow, stumbled into an alliance as they floated blindsiding one of the brawny peeps. Caroline, Mark and Eden then looped in Charles, debating the merits of getting rid of Jess as an easy vote or switching things up before the trio got a chance to take control. Before deciding on Frankie, given Nathan and his speedo will have no other option than to align with them.

Sadly for them and their plan, Mark decided the Vs were key to their plan and given they have been close with Frankie, I just don’t see it playing out simply. Wina and Jaden meanwhile continued to lock in their plan for Jess, though Winna grew nervous as he saw Jess was smiling and TBF, that is a kind of great read. Despite clearly being an accident. The Vs and Frankie pulled Mark and Charles aside to talk about the Jess plan and despite everyone actively discussing a plan against her, Frankie felt she was pretty safe and could read the tribe if things started to fall apart.

At tribal council Nathan spoke about finishing strong, despite the tribe proving to be an absolute mess. Particularly given he feels the need to take the hero moments of each challenge, and promptly bombing. As JLP read them for filth, the tribe laughed about how brutal his assessment was, before Frankie spoke about all the Titans struggling to get used to losing, given they are high achievers. Caroline called the tribe out for not playing smart, lacking a leader and as such, everyone was wandering aimlessly. Frankie countered they need leadership, not necessarily a leader, while Nathan spoke about being keen to be a leader, given that is what everyone kind of expects. While trying to say everyone has different strengths and weaknesses, it made it sound more like a read about the weaker people.

Jess spoke about needing to find balance between strengths, and not duplicating strengths to make sure the tribe has a diverse range of skills for challenges. As Frankie and Nathan smuggly smiled, feeling like she was digging her hole. Mark then spoke about dichotomy, wiping the smile off Nathan’s face as he wondered what the word meant. Viola meanwhile spoke about building strong friendships, though wisely cautioned that she also picked the right people to rely on. Which is ominous for Frankie, no? Mark admitted he was nervous about his plan coming together, while Frankie spoke about her confidence given it is kind of an easy vote and the game will kick off once they get back to camp.

With that the tribe voted and right on cue, the game kicked off a little earlier than Frankie and Nathan were anticipating, as the Vs locked in with the majority and sent Frankie out of the game the first boot. To her credit, as Frankie arrived at Loser Lodge, she took her blindside on the chin as while she felt it was a bad move to lose strength so early, she understood it was a game. I assured her that while her confidence contributed to her downfall, most of the blame should fall on Nathan’s people-dragging shoulders, given nobody wants to be the bottom of someone elses alliance. Which seemed to do the trick, as we toasted her brief run with a pair of Frankie Guascide Double.

This little Shake Shack copycat of the Roadside Double is so rich and punchy, only someone as strong as Frankie could handle it. The melty cheese, rich beef and a glorious mix of sweet and salty bacon jam are a true power trio.

Enjoy!

Frankie Guascide Double
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 Briocher Bünsberg, halved
2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
500g beef mince
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
4 slices Swiss cheese
1 tbsp Dijon mustard
½ – 1 cup Sosie Bacon Jam

Method
Heat a griddle of medium heat until warmed. Brush the insides of the buns with some melted butter and place open-side down on the griddle for a couple of minutes to toast. Transfer to a plate.

In a large bowl, scrunch the mince with your hands with a good whack of salt and pepper until just combined. Split into 4 even pucks and pop on a plate to rest.

Increase the heat to medium-high and once scorching, add the pucks and smash with a spatula until they are about 1 cm thick. Cook for about 3 minutes before flipping, topping with a slice of cheese and cooking for a further couple of minutes.

To assemble, divide the mustard between the top of the buns and pile a duo of cheesy patties on the bottoms. Top with a generous helping of bacon jam, close the bun and devour. Like the beautiful, built icon that you are.


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Lunaytime DuBrownie

Baking, Canada's Drag Race 4, Canada’s Drag Race, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls were tasked with turning an iconic show as rival girl groups. Despite being a school yard pick, the bands turned out to be a battle between the younguns and the oldies. And as you can imagine, the younger dolls were feeling their oats as they slayed the song. While the oldies leant into being the underdogs and had a blast. Ultimately it was Aurora who took out her first win of the season, despite Venus obviously being a total slay. When Kiki, The Girlfriend Experience and Kitten landed in the bottom, Aurora opted to save Kiki with her golden beaver before Kitten sent poor Girlfriend to the house.

Backstage everyone was heartbroken to have lost their sweet sister, however they quickly moved on given Kitten ddidn’t pack her glasses and could barely read the mirror message. As they sat down to kiki, everyone congratulated Aurora on her win, with her explaining she saved Kiki because she could see the fire within her to compete. And you best believe she felt she was now going to thrive. That in turn made everyone question how Kitten felt about the save with her keeping it calm and assuring them she is cool to rely on herself. Aimee meanwhile wanted to keep us fed, pointing out that Luna was the weakest on the winning group. However Luna hilariously just told her she loved Aimee’s performance and didn’t bite. So hilarious, but a little boring. As we want drama.

The next day Kitten still felt bad about sending The Girlfriend Experience home, though joked Aurora also could have saved her. Though Nearah wisely suggested that maybe they should agree that each of them could only be saved with the beaver once, and while everyone made statements that sounded like agreement, Aurora hilariously told the girls she will be playing for the crown, not congenialty. Before that could be unpacked, Brad dropped by to put the dolls through their paces in a photoshoot mini challenge. Complete with metallic wigs. After getting into quick drag, Venus absolutely slayed and proved why she is a legit model. Melinda was camp and kooky, Kiki was on for every moment, Kitten served jokes, Luna gave leg, Aurora didn’t sweat at all, Denim gave silly glam, Nearah was all sex and Aimee had fun. Ultimately, though, it was Nearah that took out the mini challenge.

Brad then announced that for this week’s maxi challenge, they would have to pick through his closet and use the dregs to upcycle into a couture outfit. Things immediately descended into chaos as the dolls split up to pilfer, before talk inevitably turned to who can and can’t sew. For every Luna and Kiki who were confident, there were the Aurora and Venus’, who have never touched a sewing machine. Kiki found herself with a little bit of an advantage, given she found three of the same shirts which left her enough fabric to make a full gown. Kitten was planning to go dance outfit, while Aimee wanted to go Monet, with a shower puffs and towel look. Despite Kiki desperately trying to talk her out of it. Nearah meanwhile was stressed about trying to figure out how to glue fabric together. She wasn’t in the worst spot, however, as Melinda sat on the floor talking to herself in the hope of finding inspiration. Or a clue.

Bradley returned to kiki with the dolls, with Nearah opening up about her plans to give pop princess. Though Brad worried her concept was just pop. Melinda gloated about going to design school and that she would be inspired by Versace, though Brad cautioned her to give personality in the look rather than showing off her skills. Denim shared she would be giving patchwork knit, Luna was confident, Aimee was a mess and knew it before Kitten delighted Brad with her plans and Aurora vowed to give september-spring-summer. Kiki opened up about feeling like the pressure was on to show her personality, given she is a known designer. While Venus planned to give New Jersey goes to the White House. Until Brad cautioned she has impeccable looks and everyone is pumped to see what she serves. After he departed, Melinda found a patchwork plaid jacket which she decided to turn into a dress. And whether she likes it or not, she will be grateful for any feedback the judges have to give her, given she is there to learn. 

Oh and Venus started to spiral as she couldn’t find enough fabric to make any of her plans work.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone splitting up to madly pull together the rest of their looks. And read Aimee, who vowed to win, though clearly isn’t going to follow through. Talk turned to everyone’s coming out journeys with Venus talking about how supportive her family are. On the flipside, Luna opened up about having to runaway once she came out, given she knew her parents wouldn’t accept her. Aimee spoke about having a similar experience and how that impacted her mental health, and ugh, finally they have bonded and aren’t fighting. And I love them. 

Brooke, Brad and Traci were joined by Christian Allaire on the panel as the Out of the Closet runway kicked off with Kitten giving Sailor Moon by way of I Dream of Jeannie. Venus meanwhile gave street grunge realness before Aimee was an absolute mess in her shower gown. But bless, she had fun. Melinda gave Vivienne Westwood inspired something. But barely edited the jacket, TBH. Kiki gave architectural drama and ugh, it was good. Nearah was a cutesy pink and purple delight, Luna gave street vacation, Aurora served a blue gown and I honestly can’t even tell if I love it or hate it. While Denim was stunning in a dramatic knitted baboushka look, worthy of her grandma.

Luna, Aurora and Venua were sent to safety before the judges praised Kitten for being creative and serving texture, despite not giving all the shape. Aimee was rightly read for filth, despite how much fun she was having in her horrid look. Melinda was expecting wall to wall praise, so was absolutely shocked to discover the judges didn’t love how little she changed the original outfit. And for serving a basic shoe. Kiki on the otherhand received the flowers she both deserved and expected. Nearah on the otherhand was read for giving too much (skin) and not enough look, resulting in something lacking cohesion and polish. Despite some fun elements. While the judges lived for Denim’s dramatic knitted number, with a little Grey Gardens thrown in for fun. Obviously it was Kiki that took out the win, giving her the power to save one of Aimee, Melinda or Nearah with her beaver.

Backstage the safe girls were laughing about narrowly making it through, before Luna proposed an alliance. Which the dolls quickly agreed with. The tops and bottoms joined, with Kiki talking about feeling odd to go from being saved to now doing the saving, unsure who is most deserving. Nearah spoke about the fact she just lacked polish, though gave transformation and a vision. Melinda meanwhile didn’t want to be saved, given she feels like she has given her all this season but the judges are treating her like a punching bag. She then flipped out over the fact she gave all polish and was fully expecting to be in the top. She then trashed the judges and cussed everyone out before storming off.

Once Melinda came back, Aurora gave her a peptalk and told her to give this energy in the lip sync. Aimee finally got her moment and asked Kiki not to save her just because she is a friend and assured her she wouldn’t hold it against her. Though trust, she desperately wants to be here. Denim then suggested Kiki shouldn’t save Melinda if she wants to go home, leading to Nearah talking about wanting to stay and pointing out she should be saved given Aimee’s look is shit. This led to epic beef between them, as Aimee suggested she should be saved, leading to Nearah scoffing at her. Before they both asked Kiki to save Melinda so they could fight it out in the lip sync. Which is iconic behaviour from both of the dolls.

Ultimately Kiki did just that, saving Melinda and assuring her she deserves to be here while Aimee and Nearah, newfound staunch nemeses, took their places to fight. To Priyanka and Lemon’s Come Through, no less. And yeah, it was a slay as both of them channeled their simmering hatred into the song, desperate to get rid of the other. Complete with Aimee flipping off Nearah mid song. And as much as they hated it, the fact they both killed it in the name of getting the chance to end the other, meant that neither went home as Brooke decreed them both safe.

And led to even more awkwardness backstage as every quietly took their seats before Venus praised the dolls for a solid lip sync. Despite the fact everyone expected Aimee to go. Nearah apologised to Aimee and was glad to be able to have more time to heal their issues. Denim made it more dramatic, pointing out that it is weird for Melinda to have been saved given she didn’t want to be here. Which obviously fired her up at everyone as they all got cranky, before Venus turned the attention to Kiki, asking why she saved Melinda. Which is honestly the more pressing question. Everyone then got sassy with Kiki before Venus summed it up, telling Melinda that she is not to ever say she wants to give up ever again, given everyone is over it and wants to be here. While Kitten quietly pointed out that Kiki and Melinda clearly have an alliance.

After Melinda stormed off, again, she came back with everyone calmly asking her to believe in herself. Aimee then asked whether the safe girls were shocked to be safe, with Venus admitting she was surprised, leading to Melinda scoffing that she is definitely shocked Venus was safe. Aimee then started up again, calling out Luna’s look and girl, Aimee, your look was horrid so just suck it up, you killed the lip sync.

The next day the dolls seemed far calmer as Melinda opened things up with an apology for both wanting to quit and flipping out. Brooke dropped by before the mood could flip again. However she dropped by for the reading challenge, so maybe it will pop off again. Kitten was mean and cute, Aurora was brutal, Melinda was Melinda, Venus was cute, Nearah couldn’t get to the point, Aimee body shamed, Kiki was ageist, Luna focused on steaming and Denim was all sass. Which ultimately handed her the win. Oh and as is tradition, this week’s maxi challenge would see the doll’s playing the Snatch Game. They split up to talk through their choices with Venus debating between Fran Drescher and Tiger King, while Nearah was planning for Jennifer Coolidge. As was Kitten. Nearah realised Kitten had two options though, so pushed her to play the other with the duo fighting it out. Before both locked in with Coolidge and vowed to be the best.

Brooke dropped by to kiki, with Luna sharing she will play Mary Cosby, who Brooke thought was from The Cosby Show. Melinda was going to play famed homophobe Manny Pacquiao, Kitten shared she would be one of two Coolidges on the panel, while Aimee was locked in on Jesus, Kiki was going with Elizabeth Taylor, though her characterisation was just wearing a diamond. Denim was going with Julia Fox, and opened up to Brooke about how her autism has been a superpower this season, rather than the burden she was expecting. Aurora was going with Zhao Bing, Nearah locked in the second Jennifer Coolidge, focusing on being young, while Brooke wanted them to work together. Venus was confidently Tiger King, though wanted to do Fran Drescher, despite her not really having meat to the jokes.

The dolls split up to beat their mugs, talking about how nervous they are to play. Particularly Denim, given a Montreal doll has gone home on Snatch Game every year. We pivoted to set where Brad and Traci lined up as contestants. Venus was horny and silly as Joe, Melinda was perfection as Manny, Aimee’s Jesus had a gay old time while Luna was Luna, not Mary. Aurora’s Zhao Bing was fun, while Kitten’s Jennifer Coolidge had more jokes and Nearah’s accent was stunning. Kiki on the other hand was a absolute mess, while Denim was awkward as Julia Fox, which is exactly what she needed to do for the character, so 10 points. Melinda went from strength to strength as Manny and owned the challenge, while Aurora couldn’t land a joke, Luna was there and Kiki seemed to misunderstand the assignment.

Elimination Day arrived with Aimee convinced only Melinda should be safe. Venus lead the dolls in praising Melinda for the epic turn around, while Kiki was well and truly sure she’d be in the bottom three. Aurora too was worried, as was Denim while Luna was quietly hoping positivity may see her eek out some safety. As they split up to beat their mugs, talk turned to being public figures with Melinda in particular worried about the fans cancelling her for her tantrum. Venus assured everyone that they are on a show and as such, they need to relax and accept they are people. A important message for the public to remember..

Brooke, Brad and Traci were joined on the panel by the one and only Jaida Essence Hall as Denim opened the Steampunk runway as a clockwork fairy and yeah, she understood the assignment and I love it. Kitten gave industrial phantom of the opera hosting a circle, Kiki was a warrior in a black pantsuit, Aimee gave goggle titted pirate, Nearah gave cogged dominatrix, Melinda gave black widow assassin – her words – while Aurora slayed as a bronze metal spider like in Wild Wild West. Luna gave pleather bodysuit with a huge train of tulle, showing off all her assets in the process, while Venus was smoking as a crimson Bane. 

Kitten, Melinda, Kiki, Aurora, Luna and Venus were deemed the tops and bottoms, while the rest were sent backstage to untuck. The judges lived for how Kitten embodied Jennifer Coolidge, particularly since playing one of two was an epic risk. Kiki’s runway was beloved, though they obviously hated her performance on Snatch Game. Melinda received wall to wall praise for her Snatch Game and for finally delivering a nice runway. Aurora’s runway was deemed a standout, though the judges felt she didn’t give anywhere near enough as Zhao Bing. The judges loved Luna’s look though felt she didn’t do enough on Snatch Game. While Venus was universally beloved, for her runway and snatch. And TBH, the crown is honestly hers to lose at this point. Though this week, the win went to Melinda while Kiki, Luna and Aurora were up for elimination.

Backstage the dolls congratulated Melinda for her decisive victory, with her well and truly feeling her oats as she thanked her sisters for helping her believe in herself. She asked the bottoms why she should be saved, with Luna feeling like she deserves to be saved given she hasn’t been saved yet. Kiki acknowledged she was saved before, so didn’t want Melinda to feel like she should repay her for last week, while Aurora felt she should be saved because she deserves to be here and she was clearly not the worst this week. Venus jumped in and suggested Aurora is the right choice to save, while Nearah told Melinda to play it intelligently, given there is a crown at stake and maybe she shouldn’t save a threat.

Ultimately Melinda repaid Kiki for saving her the week before, clearly heeding Nearah’s advice to not save a threat. Aka Aurora. As Tate McRae’s she’s all i wanna be kicked off, it was clear that our threat didn’t need any helping hands as she absolutely demolished the lip sync, giving face, fire and even acrobatics. So it was hardly surprising as she was sent to safety and poor Luna exited the competition. Backstage she was obviously gutted, though honestly was more disappointed by the fact that in a season of so many none elims, she tragically didn’t benefit from one. Though TBH, her disappointment didn’t last long as I whipped out a big, fat plate of Lunaytime DuBrownie.

There is nothing better than an oeey, gooey brownie. That is, until you pop some toffee icing and gaytime crumbs on top, that is. Because that is infinitely better. Sweet, salty and oh so warming, they are the until dessert to wash away the pain.

Enjoy!

Lunaytime DuBrownie
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
125g unsalted butter, diced
125g dark chocolate, roughly chopped
3 eggs, whisked
1 ½ cups raw caster sugar
¾ cup flour
¼ cup valrhona cocoa powder
2 tsp vanilla extract
pinch of salt
150g butter, at room temperature
150g icing sugar, sieved
¾ cup Dulce de Nick Lachey
½ cup Gaytime crumbs

Method
Preheat the oven to 160C and line a 20cm square baking tin.

Pop the unsalted butter and chocolate in a heatproof bowl and melt over a saucepan of simmering water until combined. Remove from the heat. Whisk in the egg, caster sugar, flour, cocoa powder, vanilla and a pinch of salt until just combined. Pour into the pan and pop in the oven to bake for 30 minutes or until a skewer inserted in the centre comes out mostly clean. Set aside to cool.

While the brownies get chill, beat the regular butter using  a standmixer on medium until light and fluffy. Reduce speed to low and slowly beat in the icing sugar until before beating until combined. Then, finally, beat in the dulce de leche until the icing is just combined. Smooth the icing over the brownies and sprinkle with the crumbs and devour immediately. Or pop in the fridge for an hour to set if you like them dense, like I do.


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Drew Bastachio & Plum Danish

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 45, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Austin and Dee were slowly but surely falling in love, forming an unbreakable alliance in the process alongside their fellow Rebas. When Drew decided it was time to get rid of Julie, he told Austin, reiterating that Dee can’t find out in the process. Obviously he told her, given he is smitten, and she immediately told Julie, directing Julie to play the idol she stole from Austin to get out Emily. And while Julie was tempted to take a shot at someone else and solidify her game, she ultimately stuck to her bestie Dee’s plan and eliminated Drew’s second bestie and our queen, Emily.

Back at camp everyone was awkward AF until Katurah congratulated Julie for saving herself. Julie meanwhile was trying to contain her excitement, though pretending to be annoyed at Dee for ‘blindsiding’ her to keep their closeness hidden. Austin meanwhile was glad that he didn’t have to waste his amulet, meaning he has guaranteed safe this episode. So swoon. Dee on the other hand was giving an Oscar winning performance, pretending to be gutted that Julie played her idol and was now worried she would now be Julie’s target. Dee and Austin caught up, with her assuring him she never told Julie, before they locked in a final three alliance. Drew dropped by, happily believing Julie’s reads are on point and that somebody’s acting wasn’t. Julie then arrived and made things awkward, questioning when they gave up on the Reba 4 and while it was cute, Drew couldn’t even look her in the eye. So goodbye Drew, I guess?

The next day Katurah got up early to make a start on finding the replaced idol to block Julie from getting it. Sadly for her, Dee and Austin realised she was awake and as such got hunting themselves. And while she didn’t find an idol, Austin found her and made things super awkward. Despite her explaining she was just trying to make sure Julie couldn’t find anything, he cautioned that spooking Julie could lead to her hunting even harder. Everyone returned to camp with Drew and Julie catching up to clear the air, as Drew pretended Reba 4 making it to the end is still viable, while she pointed out that she just doesn’t know how to trust him. Drew, on the other hand, told us that he is just swallowing his rage and still plans to get rid of her next. After delivering Drew back to camp, Julie asked to talk to Dee and both of them acted angry as they scurried away from camp before they started laughing at how well they managed to pull off the blindside. Dee laughed about swearing on everyone in her life and how she is still close with everyone, assuring Julie that Drew is the one coming for her and as such, they need to rally new numbers to get rid of him. Immediately.

The tribe met up with Probst for an epic reward challenge where they would race from the ocean and then barrel roll through a course to collect keys which they use to unlock a slide puzzle. With the first person to win scoring an epic picnic on a sandspit in the middle of the ocean. Which they will arrive at by helicopter. Austin powered out to an early lead with everyone nipping at his heels to varying degrees of success. Drew was first to close the gap, leaving the besties to fight it out on the puzzle, as everyone slowly made their way to fighting with them. Before Austin solved the puzzle out of nowhere and snatched reward. Obviously Probst asked him to select a friend to go with him, opting for Dee before Probst gave him one other person, which was Katurah, to keep Drew and Julie back at camp to guarantee nobody starts throwing out his name. Given they’re focused on getting each other out.

Back at camp, the world’s most awkward throuple popped on a pot of rice and lamented how shitty it was to miss out. Even though they all understand why Austin didn’t choose them. Julie awkwardly told Drew she could go grab some peppers with Jake to make sure Drew’s babysitting isn’t ruined. As Drew tossed the lid of the pot into the shore, the duo were busy hunting for idols and causing chaos and yeah, I love that for them. As they returned to the shelter, the helicopter did a flyby to prove they weren’t on reward, with Drew continuing to be salty.

On the helicopter, the trio were giddily enjoying the ride as Katurah realised she was third wheeling as Dee and Austin held hands and rubbed knees, and ugh, it was sweet and I love this story and am a little shocked it took so long for us to get here. Was the love story happening from the first episode? I want to know and I want them to get married, Boston Rob and Amber style. Just as they decreed. I mean, the supercut of the two of them blushing, talking about how much they love each other was adorbs, and I love love, ok?

Back at camp Drew was still miserable as they finally got to work cooking the rice, as Jake pretended to be going to get changed so he could hunt for an idol. Sadly for him, he found something, however it was just a clue. Directing him to find the idol in a secret compartment of the raft. He then stripped down to his underwear to keep his story up as he finally grabbed the idol, vowing to leverage it to earn him votes at the final tribal council.

The tribe came together with Probst for the latest immunity challenge where they would use a leg to balance a ball on a long paddle, with the last one standing guaranteeing themselves a spot in the final five. And given the paddle has a lip, I honestly don’t see how this is that difficult. And as soon as I wrote that, Julie and Jake dropped back to back within minutes. Katurah was next to go, followed by Drew after an epic save around the seven minute mark, leaving Dee and Austin to battle it out. With the lovebirds being shady about how easy they are finding the challenge. After surpassing the dreamteam’s winning time of 21 minutes, Austin started to wobble and dropped while Dee just did not move, earning herself immunity as Austin hobbled over to congratulate his girlfriend.

Back at camp the tribe congratulated Dee on her epic victory as the lovebirds joked about being desperate to beat each other in every challenge. As Julie wandered off, Drew and Austin locked in Jake and Katurah on the Julie vote. Sadly for the boys, Jake knew he needed to do something bigger if he wants to win and as such, pulled Julie aside to float a Drew blindside instead. Which she was obviously thrilled about. Julie knew that Dee would also be down to write Drew too, though had to pretend it would be a harder sell to get majority. Jake quickly looped in Katurah who was down and while Katurah was confident she could convince Dee to join them, Jake didn’t want to get her onboard until after a tie, so she can’t claim the move as her own. Sadly for him, however, Katurah went to Dee and suggested that she would love to get rid of Drew giving her yet another feather in her cap.

Dee then pulled Drew aside to talk about how cleanly the merge has gone for him, loving how closely he and Austin have worked together, looking towards greats like JT and Stephen, and Tyson and Gervase. As he hoped it would all stay together so they can make it to the end. Dee and Austin caught up by the shore, with Dee worried about whether she should loop him in on the blindside, given he could easily play his idol for Drew and pull off the move she did just last week. Leaving her to battle between her head and her heart.

At tribal council Austin spoke about how grateful he was to not get much blowback for picking Katurah to go on reward and leave the kids to babysit. Julie joked about her kids turning on her, while Katurah spoke about how well the tribe are compartmentalising given they like each other but are all fighting hard to win. Drew and Dee spoke about how the relationships are also making things more difficult, as everyone is also lying to each other. Drew meanwhile shared that if he makes it through tonight, he feels like he has a very clear path to the end. Which Julie pointed out was a blessing, given she can’t even see how she could possibly get to the four let alone three. Before Drew gave a lovely analogy about how difficult Julie’s path is to the end, while Julie made a plea for everyone to play smart. Talk turned to how people are now thinking about who they want to face at the end, with Dee admitting she has a plan but knows that it is unlikely for anyone to get the exact final three they’re hoping for.

With that the tribe voted, Austin played his idol for himself and his closest ally not called Dee, Drew found himself blindsided from the game. As Austin looked on at Dee, heartbroken. Before we could find out whether it was the end of my favourite lovers, I ventured to Ponderosa to try and cheer up Drew because he was, in a word, pissed. Super pissed. I tried to pull him in for a hug to assure him that going out just before the finale is generally better to being cut first in the finale, however given he was so confident in his path forward, he wasn’t having it. That is until he had a Drew Bastachio & Plum Danish or five.

The earthy pistachio and tart, juicy plums work perfectly to counteract the crisp, fresh pastry. Flavourful, decadent and melt in your mouth, these danishes have the power to turn around even the worst of moods.

Enjoy!

Drew Bastachio & Plum Danish
Serves: 4-8.

Ingredients
250g pistachios
250g unsalted butter, at room temperature
250g raw caster sugar
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 eggs
2 sheets good-quality butter puff pastry, quartered
8 davidson plums, pitted and sliced

Method
Preheat the oven to 200ºC. Pop the nuts on a baking tray and toast in the oven for 5-10 minutes. Remove from the oven and allow to cool (though leave the oven on).

Once the nuts have cooled a little, pop 200g of them in a food processor and blitz until they have formed a meal-like consistency and no further. Add the butter, sugar, vanilla and eggs and blitz until well combined.

To assemble, cut the squares of pastry into circles, spoon a dollop of the pistachio mixture in the middle and top with some plum, leaving a 2cm rim around the edge. Roughly chop the remaining nuts and sprinkle over the top. Pop in the oven and bake for twenty minutes, or until golden, puffed and crisp. Then, obviously, devour.


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