Awards Season

Lucille Meatballs in Beer Sauce

Main, Pasta, Snack

I was balls deep in this year’s Emmy Gold celebrations – after successful dates with Reets, Jackie-Boy and Chevs – when I was struck with a horrid feeling while driving away from Chevs’ … I’ve never documented a time-travel enabled date with the undisputed queen of television, Ms Lucille ma’ fuckin’ Ball.

Yes guys – how this kind of thing still comes as a shock to you, I will never know – I was a dear friend of Lucille Ball. I mean, probably even her best friend. The bestest.

I first met Lucille in the 30s while co-starring in the play Hey Diddle Diddle – where I was fired for diddling the director. While I was surrounded by scandal, Luce stood by my side and when the play was shut down after a week in DC, I escorted her to film the Too Many Girls which co-starred a friend of mine, Des.

Again, yes – of course it was me that introduced Lucy and Desi.

Anyway, given I wanted to see Luce at her best, I set the delorean for the ‘50s so we could catch up while they filmed a ep of I Love Lucy. It was such a joy to see them in a happy, successful time and it filled me with unending joy.

As this is the second date where I can’t reference the year, on account of the butterfly effect, I was left to run the odds all on my lonesome in the DeLorean. As she is the queen of comedy, I got to thinking about the female comedy awards. While I feel Pamela Adlon would prove an amazing person to end Jules’ streak, I can’t see anyone pipping her this year. Obviously Kate McKinnon is taking out supporting again, if only for her rendition of Hallelujah which made me cry for an hour.

Given that Luce was also the head of a production company – hallelu, desilu – I figured she’d be cool with me exploring the behind the cam odds. Donald Glover will win directing for a comedy, Jonathan Nolan (or the Duffer to hedge my bets) for drama, Don Roy King for SNL for Variety and Jean-Marc Vallée for Limited Series, Movie or Dramatic Special.

Seriously – it was an action packed date, which called for an extremely special Judd family favourite – after Luce cooked it for us in the ‘70s – my Lucille Meatballs in Beer Sauce.

 

 

Moist, zingy and entirely sweet, these babies are the perfect thing to pop in your mouth while filling a hole … or catching up with a departed friend and running the odds in a defunct car.

Enjoy!

 

 

Lucille Meatballs in Beer Sauce
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g beef mince
1 onion, grated
⅓ cup quick-cook oats
1 egg, lightly whisked
½ tsp ground allspice
1 tbs each of olive oil and butter
40g French onion soup mix
1 ½ cup beer
1 tbs brown sugar
1 pinch ground nutmeg
¼ cup sour cream
500g spiral pasta

Method
Combine the mince, onion, oats, egg and allspice in a bowl and scrunch to combine. Shape into walnut sized balls and allow to chill in the fridge for half an hour.

When raring to go, get a large pot of salted water on to boil and heat the oil and butter in a large pan over medium heat. Lightly fry the chilled balls in the hot, frothy liquid for a couple of minutes on each side, or until browned and glossy. Sprinkle with the soup mix and pour over the beer, stirring once the froth has subsided. Add the brown sugar, nutmeg and cook, stirring, for a further half an hour.

In that time, cook the pasta to packet instructions, drain and return to the pan with a small knob of butter. When the pasta is done and the balls cooked through, add the sour cream to the balls and stir to combine.

Serve the saucy, wet balls on a bed of buttered pasta … and devour.

 

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Spinachevy and Chase Rolls

Emmy Gold, Emmy Gold: Game of Golds, Main, Party Food, Snack, Vegetarian

After kicking things off with EGOT recipient Reets and a semi-sweet trip down memory lane with my dear(ly departed) Jack, I thought we needed to bring back the funny for day three. And, obviously, there is no man that has won exactly three Emmy Awards (that I can be bothered looking up) funnier, that I can call a friend than Chevy Chase.

I’ve known Chevs for years, after meeting in Betty Ford – who fun fact, gave me free treatment at the clinic as we’re also dear friends – in the ‘80s and becoming the fastest of friends. While there were obviously some issues between us after he dropped the N-bomb on the set of Community and refused to make me play his son in the newest Vacation movie, I found a way to forgive him.

Hey – I forgave Candace Cameron Bure for being Candace Cameron Bure, I can do anything.

Anyway being a betting man, Chevs was keen to get straight to work after a brief catch-up. Given the fact two of his Emmys are for writing, I bequeathed him the great honour of discussing all – yes, all – the writing categories.

Obvi, Big Little Lies has Outstanding Writing for a Limited Series, Movie or Drama Special, while he backed Saturday Night Live – again, obvi – for Variety Series, I think it’s going to go to John Oliver or Samantha Bee. As far as the series categories go, Aziz and Lena have the comedy wrapped up for the sublime Thanksgiving episode of Master of None. We again disagreed on the drama winner, Chevs going for The Handmaid’s Tale, while I think the Duffers’ will take it out with Stranger Things … as a consolation for losing Outstanding Drama Series.

As you can imagine, what with two disagreements, we needed something hella hearty and comforting to get us through. Thankfully my Spinachevy and Chase Rolls more than fit the bill.

 

 

Fresh, spicy and dripping with cheese, these are my favourite kind of rolls this side of Alyssa Edwards’ backrolls.

*Tongue pop* Enjoy, okkkuurrr?

 

 

Spinachevy and Chase Rolls
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
500g frozen spinach, defrosted and drained completely
250g danish feta, crumbled
½ cup parmesan, grated
small handful dill, roughly chopped
1 onion, finely diced
1 cup fresh breadcrumbs
zest of one lemon
salt and pepper, to taste
2 sheets puff pastry, halved
1 egg, lightly beaten

Method
Preheat oven to 200°C.

Combine the spinach, feta, parmesan, dill, onion, breadcrumbs, zest and salt and pepper in a bowl.

Split the mixture into quarters and roll each portion into long – puff pastry length – sausages and place along an edge of the puff pastry. Brush the edge of the pastry and roll to enclose, ensuring the seam is on the bottom. Cut into three and place on a baking sheet. Repeat the process with the remaining three quarters.

Brush each roll with eggs and bake for 25 minutes or until golden, crisp and flaky. Devour.

 

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Jack Lemmon Chicken Soup

Emmy Gold, Emmy Gold: Game of Golds, Main, Poultry, Side, Snack, Soup

I’m most oft described as being an old man trapped in a young(ish) man’s body. In turn, that old man that lives inside me is most oft described in more detail as (extremely) grumpy. Whenever I’m told this, or catch myself shaking my fist at youths in the street, I am reminded of my dear friend and co-star in the movie series based on my life, Grumpy Old Men, Jack Lemmon.

While Jacky boy, as I used to call him, is most famous for his success on the silver screen – two Oscars, what a card! – one of his final awards was his Emmy for his turn as Morrie in Tuesdays with Morrie. As such, I decided to whip out the time machine and pay him one last visit.

I first met Jack on the set of Some Like It Hot in the ‘50s where I acted as a drag coach to Jack and Tones. Yes – I was a drag icon in the 50s and Ru is my drag daughter. Jacks was taken by my talent and we became extremely close during filming, being dear friends ever since. After finalising my first autobiographical script, I knew I needed to get Jack onboard and the hit franchise Grumpy Old Men was born.

Given the fact the catch-up was occurring via time-travel, I couldn’t run the odds with Jack so I utilised my time in the delorean – fun fact: time travel takes a lot longer than Back to the Future would have you believe – to run the odds of the male counterparts of yesterday’s discussion with Rita.

While I really want Milo to take out Best Actor in a Drama series and make Jess and Rory Emmy winners in the same year, I struggle to go past Sterling K Brown. In any event, This Is Us’ to lose. Riz Ahmed should take Best Actor in a Limited Series or TV Movie, Ron Cephas Jones will narrowly best Jeffrey Wright for Supporting Actor in a Drama and Skarsy will take out Supporting Actor in a Limited Series or TV Movie.

All that talking to myself really took it out of me. That, coupled with the fact we’re both elderly, led to me whipping up a big ol’ delicious batch of my Jack Lemmon Chicken Soup.

 

 

Oldies like Jack and I – I should mention, I travelled back to the late ‘80s when he was yet to become an Emmy winner – love a good soup, and there is no better than a Lemon Chicken one. The sour lemons, creamy eggs, sweet mint and delicate chicken come together to make you forget the fact you’re eating a mother and her children and feel content.

Enjoy!

 

 

Jack Lemmon Chicken Soup
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
4 lemons, zested and juiced
2L low-salt chicken stock
a good whack of salt and pepper
1 cup white rice
500g chicken breast, diced
3 eggs
a small handful of mint leaves, roughly chopped

Method
Combine the juice, zest and stock in a large pot with salt and pepper over medium heat and bring to the boil. Add the rice and chicken, reduce heat to low and cook for about fifteen minutes, or until the rice is tender and the chicken cooked through.

Beat the eggs in a small jug and slowly, still whisking, add about a cup of stock until a white, creamy mixture forms. Transfer said white, creamy mixture back into the pot, while stirring, until well combined.

Remove from the heat and stir through the mint leaves before serving. And then devouring.

 

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Margarita Moreno

Drink, Emmy Gold, Emmy Gold: Game of Golds

As you know my life’s dream – which I fulfill in 2032 – is to achieve the pinnacle of global success, the EGOT. Some may covet a Nobel prize, or a Presidency – but not me, the EGOT is where it’s at / is the most worthy of respect.

Despite this, winning the EGOT hasn’t always my dream, it wasn’t until my dear friend, icon of stage and screen, Rita Moreno, took at the quinella that I was inspired to achieve true greatness. I’d been friends with Reets for close to 30 years by the time she secured her first Emmy and completed the square, and seeing the joy it brought to her made me so happy … and insanely jealous, which eventually turned to inspired.

I first met Reets in the ‘40s – Stockard Channing? She was well into her 50s – while appearing on Broadway. I knew I had a star on my hands and vowed to take her to Hollywood and make her universally beloved. Which I did, yay me.

Anyway, West Side Story Came and went and I disappeared in and out of rehab, with Rita’s support and love becoming my only constant.

Given the fact she is experiencing quite the career resurgence, we haven’t been able to catch-up as often as we’d like, so she jumped at the opportunity to join me to kick off our Emmy Gold party. While her victorious categories have already been held at the Creative Arts Emmys, I opted to run the Drama and Limited Series Actress odds with her instead. Like me, she has recently reconciled with Nicky Kids and as such, is proud to back her for Best Actress in a Limited Series or TV Movie for her harrowing turn in Big Little Lies. Elisabeth Moss is taking out Best Actress in a Drama, despite the fact we find out it is a documentary from the future. My girl Millie Bobby Brown is going win Best Supporting Actress in a Drama for her breakout turn as Eleven and Queen Laura Dern is going to snatch Best Supporting Actress in a Limited Series or TV Movie for playing me in Big Little Lies.

While we eventually agreed on the victors, it did take some hearty discussion to reach consensus over some delicious booze. And there is no booze more delicious than my Margarita Moreno.

 

 

A little bit tart, entirely refreshing and oft a bad choice, tequila and margaritas are kind of the personification of dating me. Though instead of being refreshing, people tell me to stop getting fresh … with them. In any event, a marg is something you definitely want to take down your throat.

Enjoy!

 

 

Margarita Moreno
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
ice
2 parts tequila, only Patron for us obvi
1 part triple sec
1 part lime juice
2 lime wedges
salt for your rim

Method
Chill your glass with ice for a minute or so.

Transfer it to a cocktail shaker and add more until it is full. Pour over the tequila, triple sec and lime juice and shake, hard, until it is well combined and chilled.

Run the lime around the edges of your glasses, dip them in some salt and strain the marg into the glass.

Then, obvi, down.

 

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Emmys are coming

Emmy Gold, Emmy Gold: Game of Golds, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

With my boy Petey Dink and the rest of the GoT ineligible for this year’s Emmys, I decided to bring a little bit of the Iron Throne to Brisbane and L.A. as we countdown to the 69th – giggity – Emmy Awards.

Enter, our second Emmy Gold party.

Is Master of None going to take the top gong for another year of majestic comedy? Is Mama Ru and the crew going add more crowns to the royal jewels (the answer is yes, three. We know, but Mama Ru needs some acknowledgement, you know)? Are Mandy’s big three going to outdo the Stranger crew?

Buckle in, strap on and make sure not to lose your head. Game of Golds is here!

Image source: Academy of Television Arts & Sciences.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Leonardo DiCapsicum & Feta Dip

Condiment, Dip, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold MMXVII: Gold with the Wind, Party Food, Side, Snack

Once again we’ve come to the end of another glorious Oscar Gold celebration in honour of tomorrow’s big day. Quickly on that note – I know I normally give you live behind the scenes coverage as I walk the red carpet, try and bribe the PWC auditors/steal their briefcase, reconnect with my many ex-lovers and script doctor the hosts efforts … but Jimmy banned me from doing it this year.

Something about my inflamatory way of behaving putting me perilously close from being banned from the Academy for life.

While I am pissed, the show must go on as Hollywood needs me. Plus, you guys need to know tips for your last minute bets.

Now for the moment we’ve been waiting decades for … I was finally able to welcome my dear friend Leo DiCaps to the Oscar Gold party. While it is tragic we will no longer have sad Leo memes at every couple of Oscars, I was ecstatic to be there – live tweeting, thank you Jim – to witness Leo finally snatch the statue after years in the Oscars’ bridesmaid wilderness.

I first met Leo on the set of his first film Critters 3 where we became fast friends of the mutual disappointment we felt for our co-stars. It was on that set that I decided to take him under my wing and help him reach the heights of fame.

I think it is no coincidence that he received his first unsuccessful Oscar nom less than two years later. Leo – and the wider world – you’re welcome.

Being a newly minted Best Actor winner, Leo and I giddily got to work discussing the odds for both the male categories. He agreed that Casey Affleck’s melancholic beauty in Manchester by the Sea deserves the glory … but it extremely concerned that Julia Robert’s will be loving her life again with Denzel pipping him at the post for a loud performance.

To be honest, if anyone is pipping Casey, it should be Viggo … but anyway.

Over in Best Supporting it is essentially a one horse race with there being no way in hell anyone is beating Mahershala Ali. Though I said that about Trump’s Presidency, so who knows?

Given that we both have suits to fit into tomorrow – as Leo asked me to attend as his date – I quickly whipped up a fresh Leonardo DiCapsicum & Feta Dip to mark the first anniversary of him breaking his Oscars drought.

 

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Creamy, tart and completely delicious. This dip is super easy to make and even easier to eat.

Enjoy!

 

leonardo-dicapsicum-feta-dip-2

 

Leonardo DiCapsicum & Feta Dip
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
2 red capsicums, halved, deseeded, chargrilled and peeled
2 garlic cloves, roasted and thinly sliced
1–2 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil
250g feta
1 shallot, finely chopped
pinch of chilli flakes
pinch of smoked paprika
salt and black pepper, to taste
crusty baguette, Turkish bread or crackers, to serve

Method
Combine all the ingredients in a food processor.

Blitz.

Devour.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Tumblr.

Sofia Coppo’boyla

Main, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold MMXVII: Gold with the Wind, Snack

Another day of our Oscar Gold celebrations, another catch-up with a Best OG Screenplay winner. But I mean, my girl Sofia is Hollywood royalty and really should have some Best Director and Best Picture wins under her belt … so she is pretty much the perfect person to run most of the outstanding odds.

As you know, I am a dear, close personal friend of the Coppola-Schwartzman-Cage Dynasty and as such have known Sof since she was knee high to a pig’s eye!

I was even the one to suggest to Fran-Ford to cast her in The Godfather Part III, which in retrospect I should apologise to all involved … but that is beside the point, you know.

Thankfully Sof was quick to bounce back from my (horrific) career advice and quickly turned herself into the auteur we know now. I mean, between The Virgin Suicides, Lost in Translation and Marie Antoinette, she creates beautiful languid films of substance, lead by strong women.

Basically, I love her. So damn much. And that isn’t just because she made a movie about my crime spree in Bev Hills back in the day.

I’m pretty sure I mentioned being part of The Bling Ring before, right?

That being said, my girl has been hella busy with The Beguiled so we haven’t been able to connect recently so it was such a treat to get together and discuss the Oscars … which we are hopeful she will have a strong showing at next year.

Anywho, I know you came for the odds so let’s get to them first. Sof agrees that the Screenplay gongs will go to Moonlight and Manchester by the Sea … because La La Land’s best writing came in the form of its music which will take Best Score and Original Song along with Cinematography, Editing, Sound Editing, Sound Mixing, Production Design, Director and Actress on its way to Best Picture.

Oh and obviously if we are wrong about the technical categories … it is fake news, ok? Because let’s be honest Arrival will probably take most of those. Maybe it isn’t fake news if I hedge my bets?

Ok – I’m hella confused, so I’m off to prep for tomorrow’s big guest, so why not head to the kitchen and whip up a delicious Sofia Coppo’boyla while you wait.

 

sofia-coppoboyla-1

 

Spicy, warm and delicious with the addition of the comfort of bread, these Po’Boys are everything I want from those creole creations without the addition of the mucus of the sea.

Because oysters are grosse, long live chicken ok!

Enjoy!

 

sofia-coppoboyla-2

 

Sofia Coppo’boyla
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g chicken breast
1 cup panko breadcrumbs
salt and pepper, to taste
1 tbsp Cajun seasoning, plus ½ tsp extra for the sauce
1 egg, whisked
1 cup mayonnaise
3 tbsp Dijon mustard
1 tbsp hot sauce
1 tbsp sweet pickle juice
1 tbsp smoked paprika
1 tsp prepared horseradish
2 cloves garlic, finely diced
4 small baguettes, sliced in half leaving a join at the edge
half a small iceberg lettuce, shredded
3 tomatoes, sliced
4 hot and spicy pickles, thinly sliced

Method
Preheat the oven to 180°C and cut up the chicken into bite sized pieces.

Combine the breadcrumbs with a good whack of salt and pepper and the tablespoon of cajun seasoning. Dip the chicken into the egg and toss through the spiced breadcrumbs to thoroughly coat. Transfer to a lined baking sheet and cook for twenty minutes, or until golden and cooked through.

While the chicken is baking, combine the mayonnaise, mustard, hot sauce, pickle juice, paprika, horseradish, garlic cloves and remaining cajun seasoning in a jug. Add salt and pepper to taste and leave to chill in the fridge and let the flavours mature.

When the chicken is done, brush the inside of the bread with some butter or oil and place in the oven to crisp for a couple of minutes.

Remove the rolls, smear generously with sauce, top with lettuce, tomato, pickles, chicken and another drizzle of sauce.

Devour.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Alan Meatballs

Main, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold MMXVII: Gold with the Wind, Poultry, Snack

Ok, so full disclosure – I didn’t really think about category diversity when organising this year’s soiree. For that, I am sorry … but also, not sorry – these people are my friends and you’ll just have to accept that we’ll be spending a lot of time discussing the screenwriting categories.

Adding to my flock of seagullsscreenwriters is my dear friend, Best OG Screenplay winner and – of course – ex-lover Alan Ball.

I first met Al whilst working on Cybill – him writing, me as part of Chrissie B’s entourage – and our attraction was instantaneous. After a torrid affair, I broke things off assuming he would amount to nothing – I don’t admit it often but I was wrong. He was obviously heartbroken and injected his pain into a little known screenplay called American Beauty.

Yes, you’re welcome – I inspired the classic film.

After seeing that I was wrong I tried to grovel my way back into his heart – well I don’t know if I grovelled but I definitely recall being on my knees – and the Oscars. While he sadly declined my offer to rekindle our romance and we’ve helped each other creatively ever since.

Fun fact: I’m the one who inspired him to cast Skarsy in True Blood. Again, you’re welcome.

Now for the most important part of the event – oh, after catching up with my dear friend obvs – Al agreed that Manchester by the Sea will take out Best OG and Moonlight will take out Best Adapted Screenplay … though Lion and Arrival are worthy challengers.

Given my love of Alan and (his) balls, there was no way I was going to whip up anything other than my Alan Meatballs.

 

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You know I love balls as much as Jenna Maroney but these minimally altered lil’ Meatball Shop numbers are as pure perfection as Skarsky (obvi NSFW). Big, thick and juicy, they are everything you want in and around your mouth and are absolutely exploding with flavour.

Enjoy!

 

alan-meatballs-2

 

Alan Meatballs
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
a good lug of olive oil
500g chicken mince
1 egg
¼ cup breadcrumbs
¼ cup parsley, roughly chopped
30ml white wine
2 cloves garlic, finely minced
1 tbsp salt
1 tsp ground fennel
1 tsp ground chilli
a generous whack of freshly ground black pepper

Method
Preheat the oven to 200°C and line a baking sheet with baking paper.

Combine all the ingredients – excluding the olive oil – in a large bowl and scrunch together in your hands.

Roll the mixture into a golf ball size, packing firmly as you go. You will need to wet your hands frequently as you go to smooth out the edges. Place on the sheet and repeat until done – you should end up with a dozen balls.

Place into the oven and bake for twenty, or until firm and crisp. Allow to rest for a few minutes before serving with your favourite salad or as sliders … and devouring.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Pumpkim Basinger Soup

Main, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold MMXVII: Gold with the Wind, Side, Snack, Soup, Vegetarian

While I like to let the lesser celebrity categories shine, I know why you drop by for Oscar Gold and that is my extreme proximity to the A-list.

And there is no one more A-list than my dear gal-pal and past Best Supporting Actress Winner, Kim Basinger.

I first met Kim through her ex-husband – and my ex/oft-lover Alec – but her kind heart and sassy nature won me over and I actually grew closer to her during their split. Thus leaking the pig-daughter tapes.

Kim and I haven’t been able to catch-up lately what with her doing the publicity rounds for Fifty Shades of I-Won’t-Show-My-Peen-and-This-Is-A-Waste-of-Your-Time, so it was such a treat to sit down and chat about the most important categories – Best Supporting and Best Actress.

Given the fact that I have a temper similar to Al’s, Kim was a bit scared to engage in any major disputes so we both landed on Viola for Supporting, despite the fact that she agreed that the previously insufferable Nicky Kid turned in such a beautiful performance that echoed her life and made you love her that it should be her taking out the crown over V’s always consistent scenery chewing.

Also … surely Mish Wills needs an overdue win sometime soon. And the post first scene was damn perfection.

She also agreed that Emma Stone was a lock because she is my friend and was cast in the musical whilst starring in Cabaret – which I saw and critiqued her in – bringing her luck. Though that being said, Isabelle Huppert is the most likely to upset any of the favourites on the night.

So yeah, discussions were robust meaning we needed something hearty that also hugged your soul like my Pumpkim Basinger Soup.

 

pumpkim-basinger-soup-1

 

Earthy, spiced and warm, this is pumpkin soup isn’t what you’d get in a can. In a good way, obvi.

All the veggies are baked first giving a depth of flavour and sweetness that is perfectly cut through by a whack of herbs and a smack of chilli. Dis good, dis real good, ok?

Enjoy!

 

pumpkim-basinger-soup-2

 

Pumpkim Basinger Soup
Serves: 100 people aka all the Baldwins … or maybe just 12 people?

Ingredients
1.5kg butternut pumpkin, cut into 3cm dice
4 cloves garlic, peeled
2 carrots, diced
2 onions, roughly chopped
2 potatoes, roughly chopped
4 pieces celery, roughly chopped
olive oil
1 tbsp dried chilli
salt and pepper, to taste
1 tbsp maple syrup, optional
bunch of sage
1L chicken stock
1 cup cream

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C.

Place all the veggies – and realistically you could use anything you had in the fridge, capsicum is a great addition to be honest – on a lined baking sheet (or two), drizzle with olive oil and chilli, season and bake until golden and tender. About half an hour.

Once the veg are ready, transfer to a large pot, drizzle with maple syrup, add the sage leaves and fry over medium heat for a minute, reduce to low pour in the stock and simmer, stirring sporadically, for about fifteen minutes to half an hour, or until all the veggies are tender and your kitchen is smelling amazing.

Remove the pot from the heat and allow to cool for five-ten minutes and blitz thoroughly yet carefully with a stick blender until smooth and glorious. Return to low heat, stir through the cream and coook until heated through.

Serve – immediately if you like to risk burning all the skin in your mouth – and top with a drizzle of cream and some chopped sage, if you are patient enough, and devour.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Pedro Almoturnóvar

Baking, Dessert, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold MMXVII: Gold with the Wind, Side, Snack, Sweets

Para el segundo día de Oscar Gold, sabía que sólo podía celebrar una persona con mi querido amigo Pedro Almodóvar.

Oh – sorry, sometimes I forget I speak 1 ⅞ (combined total of four different) languages. What a smartie pants!

Anywho, for those who can’t be bothered popping that into Google Translate – like I needed to to fill in the gaps of the sentence – I knew that there was only one person I could spend the second day of Oscar Gold with, my dear friend, director, screenwriter and icon of Spanish cinema, Pedro Almodóvar.

I first met Peds while working together at Telefónica and we quickly fell in love and I began to ride his coattails to renewed fame and fortune. Oh, I should probably clarify, I had fled to Spain and pursued a career as an escort under an assumed identity … to avoid being deported from the US.

Upon first meeting I knew Peds was destined for greatness and the muse part of me knew that I needed to inspire him, resulting in the one-two punch of Law of Desire and Woman on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown. While our relationship didn’t work out, I have always maintained my muse status in his heart.

Given the success of his last movie Julieta, it has been hard to pin down Peds for a catch-up but thankfully he knew it was vital to drop by and run the odds on his previous categories – Best OG Screenplay (they officially change the award to this name in 2023) and Best Foreign Language Film.

Despite the fact that The Salesman is my preference to take out Best Foreign Language Film, Peds being polite old Peds is backing the little Australian gem Tanna. Best OG Screenplay was decidedly more complex – we both loved Hell or High Water and 20th Century Women, but know that this is firmly a two horse race for La La Land and Manchester by the Sea.

We argued back and forth for hours until agreeing that is La La Land goes on to scoop the pool as expected, this is probably going to be a lock for Kenneth Lonergan’s heartbreaker.

Or we’ll both be wrong and the Academy won’t give the screenwriter gongs to Moonlight and Manchester and will instead opt to break the Oscars record with La La Land – oh and FYI, as a director he is baking Damien Chazelle – I mean, if there is one thing Hollywood loves more than anything else, it is Hollywood.

Me and Peds? Well, we love a simple and sweet Pedro Almoturnóvar.

 

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Now I know using store bought puff pastry is cheating but puff is the most difficult of the pastries and I’m not ready to attempt it and fail yet.

Plus, it is hella convenient and given how busy I am with prepping for the weekend ahead and what I’m going to wear/who I’m going to do, I needed something that I could quickly wrap my sweet, tart and altogether delicious raspberry, chocolate and almond filling.

Enjoy!

 

pedro-almoturnóvar-2

 

Pedro Almoturnóvar
Makes: 16.

Ingredients
¼ cup raspberry jam
½ cup raspberries
½ dark chocolate, roughly chopped
¼ cup slivered almonds, lightly toasted
4 frozen puff pastry sheets, thawed
1 egg, lightly whisked

Method
Preheat the oven to 190°C.

Combine the jam, raspberries, chocolate and almonds in a bowl and give a good stir.

Lay out the sheets of puff pastry and cut each into four squares. Place a generous tablespoon in a corner of each little square – leaving a centimetre around the edge – and brush the edges with a little bit of egg. Press and pleat the edges to seal, pushing out as much air as possible.

Place all the turnovers on a lined baking sheet, brush with egg wash and baking for about 20 minutes or until golden and crisp.

Devour.

 

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