Black Pepper

Korokkarin Gunatilake

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor to make up for the sea of Kaelan related medevacs, we had one final – hopefully – non-elimination round, where the tribe were split into two ahead of the next immunity challenge. Think new-era earn the merge, but fractionally less stupid. For winning immunity, Morgan immediately landed on the lush Bounty tribe and brought along her bestie Morgan, while the tribe voted Paulie and Logan to Barren. The remaining players then had to draw rocks to learn whether they’d be miserable or living it up. Kate and Zara made the Bounty fivesome immune, so literally everyone decided now was time to get rid of Myles. AJ, obviously, warned him to play his idol, while Karin grew suspicious about how zen AJ was prior to tribal council due to the fact he always spirals and comes up with 100 new plans in the hours ahead. As such, she led a split on Paulie which tragically cost our zaddy his place.

Back at camp everyone congratulated Myles on another successful idol play, while Logan pointed out she really needed to catch up with him, reminding everyone she also is an idol queen. Despite being back on the bottom, Myles’ spirits were high. Zara and Karin, meanwhile, were irate, talking to Kristin about how infuriating it is to come up with a gameplan and then every single time they get back from the immunity challenge, the boys grow paranoid and decided to flip things up arbitrarily, confusing and infuriating all of their allies. And while as an audience member, I say suck it up, it would also be driving me mental if I was on the island.

The next day things were moderately more zen as everyone sat around the fire and cooked breakfast. Kristin and Kaelan continued to vibe, before we continued to learn more about Kaelan’s under the radar game. He shared that while Zara and Karin, Kate and Morgan and AJ and Myles were all obviously paired up, he is essentially paired up with three people and as such, is now the most powerful person in camp. He caught up with Myles, and then AJ, to talk about how dangerous Karin is, given she is the one that pushed for getting rid of Myles and is growing to be too confident. And oh my god, is Kaelan actually playing a strong game?

Not to be outdone, Karin was feeling confident in her ability to make moves without being noticed, but given she listed wanting to get rid of Kate, then AJ, then Myles to Kaelan, it feels like Karin is now in trouble. Particularly given she thinks Kaelan is just as tight with her as Zara and Kristen. Knowing she needed to get some people onboard to get rid of Kate, she sent Zara to float the idea with AJ who immediately agreed that she is too good at challenges and is too likeable. Though obviously AJ wasn’t actually keen, given she and Morgan were effectively his shields. He looped them in that Zara and Karin are still coming for them, and told them they need to get rid of Karin to free up her allies and protect them all the way to final tribal council.

My love Jonathan arrived for the reward challenge where they would be paired up to hold a rope to keep a platform stable while stacking blocks with the first to stack their blocks and make them fall like dominoes getting a spit roast and ugh, I miss Paulie so damn much. I mean, Paulie and a spit roast are literally goals, but I digress. Oh and someone would just be sitting out and that someone was Logan after drawing the odd rock. Kinda proving that she is being kicked while she is down just as often as our zaddy. But back to the challenge. Kaelan and Morgan seemed like early favourites, while Kristin and AJ appeared to be screwed given he dropped on his first block. Zara and Kate meanwhile were playing it slow and steady, while Myles just continued to chatter while Karin ignored him. AJ dropped a block by his foot and for some reason, Logan talked him through picking it up and are they now friends?

In any event, Kaelan and Morgan were first to line up their blocks, before Kaelan knocked a single one off, allowing Karin and Myles, and AJ and Kristin to close the gap and secure their ropes before triggering the dominoes. It was literally the slowest race ever before they ran up and then lost, allowing Kaelan and Morgan to knock their stack and miss just at the end. Karin then lost all her blocks before Myles whispered to her and knocked off his. Zara and Kate meanwhile continued to take their time perfecting their placements, allowing AJ and Kristin to try one final time, knocking them all and putting everyone out of their misery. Obviously they were allowed to pick two people, selecting Kaelan who hasn’t had many rewards and Logan for surviving Barren beach.

And while Karin was disappointed to miss out, she was also confident that lamb wouldn’t be enough to woo Logan to AJ’s side. Meaning lamb will totally woo her, no?

We followed the victors back to their feast and ugh, it looked kind of delicious. I mean, lamb and wine? It was perfect. Kaelan spoke about it being the best experience of his life before he and Logan shared how grateful they were to be brought along. Kristin was just focussed on the wine, while AJ waited for someone to float an idea for the next vote, with Logan – maybe emboldened by the wine – suggesting they should all band together and get rid of Karin, given she is playing all sides and more controlling than Kate and Morgan. And while Kristin was concerned about Kate being a threat, she agreed they were right to get Karin out first. They agreed Myles should not be told about it, so locked in three of them voting for Karin, while Kristin, Kate and Morgan would vote for Zara, so Kristin could pretend that she was still with Karin should she play an idol.

Oh and then they locked in a final four alliance.

That night they went back to camp with Kaelan showing off his full tummy – genuinely, hot – before AJ pulled Kate and Morgan aside to loop them in on the new plan. While Kaelan told us that he has been playing the long game all season and while people think he is an idiot, he has actually been accumulating all the information and allies and as such, he knows that if he and AJ just keep their numbers in place for the next two votes, they are free to ride it out to the end.

The tribe joined Jonathan by the jungle for the latest immunity challenge where they would each balance on a barrel and roll it along a track before standing it up and landing three sandbags on top, with the first five moving on to stage two. In that round, they would have to land a monkey fist and use the rope to help them across a balance beam. Only three would move on then, climbing over a wall and then solving a puzzle for the win. Logan and Kaelan quickly pulled ahead on the first phase, with AJ and Kristin soon joining the fun. AJ was first to land a sandbag before Kaelan scored a hatrick. He then moved on to the second phase with AJ and then Morgan nipping at his heels. Kaelan finally got his eye in and landed her monkeyfist, powering over the balance beam and the wall, and getting to work on the puzzle. Logan and Kristin rounded out phase two, while Kaelan continued to work on the puzzle by himself, whispering to JLP that he doesn’t want him to talk about how quickly he is solving the puzzle as he doesn’t want anyone to know he is good at them and damn, is this a winner’s edit emerging? Morgan finally joined him with only a few pieces left to place. And while AJ also joined them, it was kinda pointless as Kaelan placed his final pieces and secured immunity.

Back at camp Kaelan was feeling his oats, proud to be protected and able to strike on his biggest threat in Karin. She, sadly, was equally as confident, though hers was based on her closeness to the Graduates and their apparent excitement to take out Kate. She was concerned about AJ doing something silly, given that is what he always does, blissfully unaware that Kaelan is the one she should be more concerned about. Karin and Kristin were by the fire, realising that everyone had disappeared. Kristin used the opportunity to tell us that she found Zara more threatening than Karin, so wanted to take her out instead. But when she floated the idea with Kate, she calmly told her Karin would be angry if she survived, while Zara would just suck it up. Myles too could clearly see something was up, asking AJ and Kaelan whether they have anything else planned, with him pretending he has his own plan, so he will try and make it work and let AJ know if he manages to get it off the ground.

Myles pulled Logan aside by the well to start working on said plan, asking if she would like to join him to take out Zara instead of Kate, to split up the more powerful Karin and Zara duo. Which she was obviously keen for, so took it back to AJ and Kaelan to see what they were thinking. This obviously pissed off AJ, given Myles and his antics could potentially send home Zara instead, who is far better for his game than Karin. They then figured out one of them needs to switch their vote to stop Myles cooking it, and instead of it being Logan, they pulled Kristin aside, who definitely wants to keep Karin in the game. Myles meanwhile approached Kate and Morgan to see what they were thinking, with them telling him that they will be voting Zara anyway but not giving him any additional information. Myles then went to AJ to let them know they have the same exact plan, with AJ telling him that they actually don’t, but to just keep his vote on Zara anyway.

Oh and then Kristin caught up with Karin by the fire and let her know that the plan was to get rid of her, and that the only way to save herself was to vote out her closest ally Zara. Just as they were heading out.

At tribal council Paulie was hot as hell on the jury – shirtless with a jacket, swoon – while Karin spoke about how the tribe was a simmering pot and she felt like things were finally about to boil over. AJ agreed that it was feeling more and more intense, with Karin cutting him off and telling him that it is no longer about buddies and instead AJ is using Morgan and Kate as shields. While Karin was hoping to weaponise it, Kate agreed he is, but pointed out that they could also be treating AJ as a shield too, so don’t see the point in getting him out. Karin and Kristin spoke about a lack of clear alliances, while Karin agreed that maybe now was the perfect time to lock in a solid alliance. Karin then requested that Zara, Kaelan, Kristin and Logan stand up and talk to her. And while Zara was confused, Karin let her know that they were the plan tonight and as such, she would like the five of them to load on one person and worst case, if an idol is played, she goes home. AJ then started whispering to Kate and Morgan about what they should do, with poor Myles just left right out. 

Karin then addressed the entire tribe telling them she would be happy to play Russian roulette with her game, while Morgan just shrugged and told her to load the gun and get it over with. As they all sat down, Logan, AJ and Kaelan wondered who leaked the information as Kristin sat quietly. Karin then continued to play her mind games and theatrics, telling them she was told to vote for Zara and get rid of her closest ally. And while Karin refused to tell who told her that, Kristin fessed up to it and spoke about her unwavering loyalty, which was proven by leaking to Karin, though given Kaz just shat on said loyalty, she wasn’t really feeling it anymore. And damn, is Kristin playing a strong game, because nobody was even angry with her?! Karin reiterated that there is no way that she would ever turn on Zara and she’d rather go home with her head held high than vote for her.

With that the tribe voted – Karin, shockingly for Zara, who stuck with voting for Myles – before the rest of the tribe stuck with their plan and split between Karin and Zara, before Karin was sent home. As Logan mouthed to Laura and Paulie that it was all her plan, which AJ and Kaelan spotted. As Karin arrived at Loser Lodge, I ran into her arms and broke down. I mean, I wasn’t as sad to see her go as say, Paulie, but Karin has been an absolute force this season and if the women were just able to take out AJ when Logan wanted, I truly believe she would have taken out the win. But alas, she had to settle for a fresh, crunchy Korokkarin Gunatilake.

Full disclosure, these korokke are not as good as the glorious ones I ate in Takayama last year, but I tried my best to meet the majesty. Shame we don’t raise our cows indoors like they do in northern Japan, but alas. All that being said, these are still pretty good – gooey, rich and oh so warming, they are like a culinary hug.

Enjoy!

Korokkarin Gunatilake
Serves: 2 dear friends, or 8.

Ingredients
1kg potatoes, peeled and quartered
1 tbsp unsalted butter
1 tsp kosher salt
½ tsp black pepper
1 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, finely diced
500g beef mince
½ cup gruyere cheese, grated
¼ cup flour
3 eggs, whisked
120g panko breadcrumbs
neutral oil, for fryin’

Method
Pop the potatoes into a large saucepan, cover with water and bring to the boil over medium heat. Once it is bubbling, reduce to low, leave the lid slightly ajar and simmer for 15 minutes or so, or until soft and tender. Drain the potatoes, and return them to a low heat, shaking frequently to cook over the remaining moisture. Remove from the heat and mash with the butter and half the salt and pepper. Leave to cool slightly while you prepare the rest of the ingredients.

Heat the olive oil in a frying pan over medium heat and saute the onions for about 15 minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the mince and cook, breaking up with a wooden spoon, until it is browned. When cooked, drain off the fat and stir through the remaining salt and pepper, before combining the meat and potatoes, alongside the gruyere.

While the mixture is warm, shape into rissole sized patties, pressing together to ensure there are no air pockets. Pop them on a lined plate, cover and pop in the fridge to chill for an hour.

When they are chill and you’re almost ready to cook, pop the flour, breadcrumbs and eggs in three separate bowls. One at a time, coat the korokke in flour, followed by the egg and then the breadcrumbs.

Heat a few inches of neutral oil in a stock pot and when nice and hot, cook the korokke a couple at a time for 3 minutes, or until golden and crisp. Transfer to a lined plate and repeat the process until they’re all done. Then devour, greedily, with your favourite Japanese condiment.


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Lemon Chicken Orzula Rose

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Main, Pasta, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the tribes switched things up leaving four Brains and Brawn as the minority on their new tribes. After finally clawing the majority back on OG Brains, Myles and Zara were particularly disheartened to be with Laura and Max, who weren’t exactly their closest people. Meanwhile after losing the immunity challenge the new Brawn majority were chaos; Rich wanted Logan gone, AJ was happy to join him, though not vote her out and Logan was just annoyed to be voting someone out. The OG Brawns were not much better as Ursula’s feud with Noonan created more chaos and when Ursula wouldn’t vote for anyone else, the two tribes had to join together to take out Rich instead. While Ursula fired a warning shot at Noonan, for reasons.

The next day the new Brains tribe were miserable as their terrible shelter got inundated by rain. Thankfully this introduced us to Ben, who finally arrived on screen in Episode 8 to bitch about how shitty it was, before leading the tribe to pull together an epic shelter so they can actually get some rest. As Myles chatted away with him rather than helping. He then went to Jesse to talk shit about Max playing chaotically at their final OG Brains tribal council, and just giving them all the intel. Leading to Zara pulling Myles aside to beg him to stop flapping his gums and give them some secrecy so they could find a crack in the Brawns. As the girls seemingly came together over his madness.

Over at the Brawn, Kaelan was living his best life, living in warm, dry, luxury. AJ too was loving himself sick, given he got rid of Rich and won the hearts and minds of many. The one wrinkle being that Ursula is still there, but totally miserable. He pulled Kristin aside for a chat to figure out what she was thinking, with her pledging her undying loyalty, suggesting they need to get rid of Paulie as he is the actual threat. And ugh, I want to stan her, but don’t come for my Paulie. We then got a close-up on Kaelan’s nips as Noonan tried to make conversation with Ursula who promptly shut her down as they sat in silence. Knowing she and Paulie could be in danger, Noonan pulled AJ aside to gauge how he was feeling, with him obviously suggesting they get rid of Ursula ASAP. And that the two of them and Paulie will be the best of friends once they merge.

But realistically, AJ has all the power.

JLP made his triumphant return for the next immunity challenge, where they would hold onto numbered pegs dotted along the wall, while two people from the rival tribe would toss sandbags at numbered coconuts to remove the corresponding pegs. Brains knocked out a couple in their first round, while Brawn got none. Another three pegs dropped for Brains in the next round, while Brawn got nothing. Again. Brains knocked another two in the next round before Brawn finally got the single peg Zara was standing on, and took one out from Kate. Finally, it became a showdown as AJ’s strategy to focus on the footholds knocked Zara off the wall. Karin soon followed, as did Myles and Kaelan, tying things up. It was at this point, AJ suggested the Brains should just throw the challenge, given they have the numbers advantage, while Brawn is tied up and anything could happen if they go back to tribal council. Jesse and Ursula then dropped, as did Kristin and Logan leaving Paulie as the only hope, literally hanging there like Jesus. Until he was literally hanging on by a single peg for two rounds before he finally dropped, handing Brains immunity.

Back at camp AJ was positively buzzing for the vote ahead, pulling Karin aside to see what she was thinking, with the duo feeling they needed to split the rival duo of Paulie and Noonan up with the former being the bigger threat, rather than Noonan. That being said, AJ also wanted to get rid of Ursula ASAP, as she is immovable which is even more annoying to work around. AJ explained that keeping Paulie and Noonan around will also spook the OG Brawns over at Brains into thinking they’re hostages and trick them into throwing some challenges. As AJ locked in Paulie and Noonan to vote with them to get rid of Ursula, Karin tried to woo Kaelan who put his foot down and said that Paulie is the one they need to deal with as Ursula will always upset someone, while Paulie is likeable. And since Logan was also in to take out a threat – noooooo – they just needed to convince AJ.

After Karin found a maggot in her food, we followed Paulie as he tried to convince Ursula that they can take control if she and Noonan stop coming for each other. As Ursula used the age-old excuse for targeting Noonan, being that Noonan came for her first. Noonan and Kristin joined in, with the OG Brawn agreeing to put it all to rest and convince the Brains to split their votes, so they can load their votes on Karin and boot her instead. With Ursula and Noonan apparently united, it was Noonan that flipped first, going to Karin and Logan to throw Ursula under the bus as the mastermind. And while it is suss, it could keep Paulie safe and as such, I stan. Karin, AJ and Logan caught up with Kristin and Paulie, with OG Brawn denying ever hearing about said plan. AJ obviously saw right through it, knowing the plan clearly came from Paulie. While Kristin told Ursula what Noonan did, instantly ending the truce. For good.

The OG Brains tried to make a decision who to get out as Noonan dropped by to find out what they were planning, leading to Ursula dropping by and blocking her from making any inroads. The Brains were worried that Ursula’s unpredictability was more dangerous than Paulie’s likeability, so locked in the plan and thankfully decided to keep Paulie. Just as he dropped by to check if he should be worried. AJ then went to each Brawn duo to tell them the Brains were split in their decision, so they would be able to decide who to vote for at tribal council. He then straight up clocked one of Noonan or Paulie had an idol, and told them if they did have one, he would signal for them to play it if needed.

At tribal council AJ said that the old tribes are dead to him, though his plan was to create the optics of hostages in the OG Brawn to force the new Brains tribe to throw challenges. This was a surprise to his allies, as Kaelan suggested he just wanted to win some challenges, while Karin shut it down, wanting to make friends rather than force people into being friends in a non-consensual way. Paulie meanwhile was keen to play hostage for AJ, if it saves him, while Ursula had no intention of playing hostage and doesn’t see any of the Brawn throwing a challenge. Ever. Karin meanwhile pointed out that they may have to throw challenges, though, if they want an advantage at the merge.

With that the tribe voted, Paulie held onto his idol despite a look from AJ, and everyone except Kristin came together to boot Ursula from the game. As Ursula arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled her in for a massive hug and applaud her on navigating her feud with Noonan as long as she could. I mean, sure, both of them could have not been petty and worked together for their own goods, but you see, I’ve known Urusla for years as she went to school with my cousin. And I was the one that taught her everything I know about pettiness. As such, it was kinda my fault, so I glossed over it as we shared a comforting Lemon Chicken Orzula Rose.

Lemon, parmesan and chicken are kind of like the holy trinity of flavours. And this gloriously tart orzo paired with this crispy, classier version of a chicken shnitty just proves it.

Enjoy!

Lemon Chicken Orzula Rose
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
¾ cup flour
¾ tsp kosher salt
1 tsp freshly cracked black pepper
2 eggs
1 cup panko breadcrumbs
½ tsp garlic powder
1 cup parmesan cheese, grated
2 chicken breasts, sliced in half horizontally
olive oil
1 tbsp butter
6 spring onions, sliced
6 garlic cloves, minced
1 cup orzo
2 cups chicken stock
1 lemon, zested and juiced
¼ cup double cream

Method
Preheat the oven to 160C.

Combine the flour in a shallow bowl with half a teaspoon each of the kosher salt and black pepper. In another, whisk the 2 eggs, and another, combine the breadcrumbs, garlic powder and three quarters of a cup of the parmesan.

Dredge the chicken in the flour, then dip in the egg before coating in the cheesy breadcrumbs. Pop on a lined plate and repeat until the schnitzels are prepped. 

Heat a good lug of olive oil in a large frying pan over medium heat. Once nice and hot, add the chicken and cook for 5 minutes, before flipping and cooking for a further five minutes. Pop on a lined baking sheet and place in the oven to keep warm.

Pop a lug of olive oil and butter in a large skillet over medium heat. Once melted and foamy, add the spring onions and garlic and cook for a minute before adding the rest of the pepper. Mix in the orzo and cook for another couple of minutes, before stirring in the stock and bring to the boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer, stirring frequently, for about 15 minutes or until cooked through.

Remove from the heat and stir in the lemon zest and juice, remaining parmesan and double cream until the cheese has melted.

Serve immediately, dividing the orzo between four bowls and topping with a piece of chicken. Before devouring, greedily.


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Kardashindy Salad

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Salad, Side, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Nash found an idol in the opening moments of the game and immediately became the most insufferable person on screen. As the rest of the Brains and Brawn got out to battle, a group of iconic women led by a witch and PTA vice-president took control of the Brains tribe. While Kent was busy trying to rival Nash by doing too much, and burning poor Max’s hat in the hope of being relevant – I mean, toxic. – and getting rid of Myles. For reasons. When Nash caused the Brawns to lose immunity, the goal quickly became to flush his idol or get him out. And tragically for Candy, it was the former, as she became the first boot.

We opened by checking in with the Brains, where we met cute little Kaelan who was serving up coconuts and winning hearts. Along with mine, because he is hot. And smart. And cares about the environment. And is doing something about it. I stan him and will have 20 of his babies. Meanwhile over at the Brawn tribe, Nash continued to make a play for screen time as he turned his shorts into speedos and gloated about surviving tribal council. He was wise enough to figure out that somebody from his alliance flipped on him though, so got to work finding out who the culprit was. And it literally became the quickest hunt, as he spoke to Zen first, who immediately admitted it and shared he only wanted to flush the idol. While admitting to us that he looks forward to blindsiding Nash at the first opportunity.

Back at the Brains, Indy was weaving a new hat for Max to make up for Kent burning his on night one. Just as I was about to make a pun about his name and certain c word, Kent broke down in confessional about how desperately he has wanted to be on the show and while it gives rich people problems, I won’t kick him while he is down. Wait, no,  he is still coming for Myles in the cruellest way possible, saying he lacks EQ and is playing too hard, which is exactly what I’d say about the millionaire who is currently bullying a pole dancer king and burnt a teacher’s hat. Thankfully I wasn’t the only person to notice, as Rich pointed out Kent was being a bit weird. We then met Indy who spoke about her plans to lay low and watch what everyone was doing to position herself well, quickly deciding that she would like to hitch her wagon to the Coven. Which is 100% what I would do, as a gay man.

The Coven too were thrilled to be in a coven, with Laura delighted by how her game was playing out so far. We learnt that her number one is Logan and honestly, I live because again, this is giving big Shonella energy. Knowing the girls need a few boys to make a majority, Laura and Logan quickly got to work finding a man to join them. Sadly, Rich became target number one as he sidled up to them to take control. Sadly for them, he was also playing them and his plan was for him and Max to pretend they’re riding their coattails before cutting their throats. And just like that, Rich and Max are dead to me.

My love Jonathan returned for the latest reward challenge where they would race down a slide to collect sandbags, which they would use to knock over puzzle pieces and then run out into the ocean to solve the floating puzzle. Oh and the victors would either get a big old fish or a big ol’ set of fishing gear. Everyone was neck and neck on the slide until Karin missed her bag. Thankfully Queen Logan grabbed a double and tied it up. It remained tight as they tried to knock the puzzle pieces free, but who really cares, given half the men are in speedos and they look glorious. Including my boyfriend Paulie. The Brawns got out to a massive lead until Nash wanted to step in and toss some bags, and absolutely flopped allowing the Brains to power ahead. For some reason, they left Nash playing, allowing the Brains to methodically work through the puzzle until Ben finally stepped in and caught them up. And then Zaddy Paulie happened, calmly guiding the Brawns through the puzzle until the gap closed. Though sadly not quick enough as the Brains narrowly secured reward.

Back at camp the Brains were thrilled to see their options with Kaelan pushing for them to take the fishing gear while Rich was the lone voice wanting to have a huge meal today and then starve for the rest of the game. As he was telling us they would never catch any fish in their bay, Kaelan snagged one right on cue and yes, he remains my icon. Karin and Logan, meanwhile, were hating how much of a flop their shelter is. Being proactive, Ally tried to lead the tribe in some repairs, while the boys joked around and complained about working and not relaxing. Specifically one of my new least favourite people, Rich. Ally took Zara for a little walk in the jungle to formulate a little plan to get rid of him and free up some of the nicer boys to work with them, and just improve all the vibes around camp. That night Karin and Ally looped in Indy on the plan and while she was thrilled to be part of an alliance, she did question whether she would have been told if she hadn’t asked and ugh, Indy, please don’t do anything silly.

JLP made his return for the latest immunity challenge where the tribes would race to untie and roll a giant spool through a course with someone perched on top to collect sandbags before setting up some targets before two people try to land four sandbags on top from a far away tower. Brawn got out to a very early lead until the Brains got their eye in and snuck ahead. Despite having a massive lead by the time they got to tossing, the Brawn tribe quickly got their eye in as Ben landed bag after bag and snatched victory, sending the Brains to tribal council. All because Rich is an absolute flop.

Back at camp he tried to distract from his flop ways as the tribe focused on how close they were in the challenge, ignoring how much of an epic lead they had. Kent meanwhile was on an island by himself, pumped to be getting rid of Myles at the first opportunity. While AJ was ready to get rid of Myles, Kaelan was not so sure given he is good at challenges which Kent weakly pointed out that they are the same height, which means absolutely nothing. He then grew worried about scrambling and making people doing stupid things, so went into the jungle for a nap. Thankfully Kaelan looped in Myles, letting him know that people are getting scared that he is playing too hard and want to eliminate him before he can make a move against them.

While the boys were feuding amongst themselves, the girls continued to focus on getting rid of Rich. Except for Indy, who wasn’t thrilled to just be a number and not in control. Zara calmly pointed out that not everyone can get their way this first vote given there are literally 12 different motives, which appeared to calm Indy a little. Until it didn’t, given Laura was more focused on protecting Rich as her puppet. The other issue was Indy, who wanted to be in a power position, so decided to approach AJ, and then Rich and Max to let them know that Karin had rallied the women to get rid of Rich. And ugh, Indy, I was rooting for you. Now, I’m not. She then threatened to come for them if they threw her under the bus and well, you know that means they’re going to do just that.

As soon as she went away, the boys decided that she was making it all up and instead decided to turn their attention to her instead. As that was happening, Laura was telling the girls that going for Rich could be a bigger problem if he stayed and as such, they should just vote for Myles to lull him into a false sense of security. While her logic is solid, Zara and Karin were not sold. Until Rich joined the girls and told them that Indy said they’re all coming for him, and as such, the girls quickly got on board with his plan to get rid of her instead. Giving us another tragic episode with Rich, but thankfully keep pole king Myles around another day. The tribe seemed to have come together until Kent woke up and told everyone to vote Myles, and TBH it was complete and utter chaos as they prepared to head off.

At tribal council Karin spoke about how the Brains had made the most of the first five days, laying the groundwork of alliances and getting to know each other. But it is all untested without a trip to tribal council, so they’re about to cash some cheques. Myles spoke about how the tribe had appeared to sour on him for being too excited to play the game, with Kent quickly jumping in to point out he was working to poison the tribe against him. With the first thing being to burn Max’s hat. And while he thought it was a fun story, I’m not sure what he was planning to achieve as everyone now thinks he is an arsehole. Things then went crankier, as Indy started to throw shade at the girls, with Ally trying to defend them and Rich started to talk over her.

The fight flipped to Karin and Indy, as Karin pointed out that she wanted a man to go home first for no other reason than to protect Indy. Karin and Zara methodically tried to calm Indy down with her ultimately thinking she was right, after they admitted the girls’ alliance is not a thing. Because of her. Rich then started talking about being aligned with his Victorian castmates, which made Laura and Logan nervous that their secret had been found out. And more importantly, unsure about which way Karin was voting. With that the tribe voted – Kent, obviously, for Myles – as everyone else came together to snip Indy out of the game before she could create more chaos.

She was in tears as she walked into Loser Lodge, so I quickly swallowed my rage and instead of telling her that she only had herself to blame, I pulled her in for a hug. And then pulled a Tyra-lite, by telling her I was rooting for her and all the women to get rid of man after man … and that she only has herself to blame for going out too soon. To her credit, Indy was well aware that she should have just gone with the flow so early in the game, so I pulled her in for another hug, as we sobbed together and manifested the female domination commencing in her honour. All while devouring a Kardashindy Salad.

This little copycat of the famous, shaken Kardashian salad, is as simple as it is delicious. Plus, when a salad is jam packed full of as much meat and cheese as this one, it turns out you can make friends with salad.

Enjoy!

Kardashindy Salad
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 baby cos, thinly sliced
400g tinned chickpeas, drained and rinsed
200g Italian salami, thinly sliced
1 cup mozzarella cheese, grated
¼ cup olive oil
2 tbsp red wine vinegar
1 ½ tsp dijon mustard
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp black pepper
2 tbsp parmesan cheese, grated

Method
Combine the lettuce, chickpeas, salami and mozzarella in a bowl and toss to combine.

Whisk the remaining ingredients together in a jug before drizzling over the salad, tossing said salad, serving and then, devouring.


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Konbinehellenia Egg Sando

Main, Sandwich, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Global All Stars the top five were tasked with filming tourism ads for each of their mother countries. And given how this went on Down Under 2, this could go one of many ways. Given how close she came to beating Jinkx in the branding challenge on their OG season, Alyssa was a neurotic mess, yet iconic. And despite Kitty being far more entertaining, took out a bookend win. At the other end of the pack, Tessa was one note and Kween focused on her Down Under sisters, which was all it took to land them in the bottom. Where Kween kept the Ru girls together by mopping the floor with the iconic Tessa and sending her home. Tragically.

Backstage the top four were thrilled to have made it all the way to the end, with Kitty, Kween and Nelly all thrilled to join the two-time finalist club. Alyssa toasted Tessa and her madness, considering adopting her into the Haus of Edwards officially. Should she not annoy her on tour and embarrass the name. Alyssa started to break down, overwhelmed to finally make it to the finals after all these years. Nelly admitted that she had actually thought she was going to be the Porkchop of the season, so to make it to the end, she feels like she was finally able to prove that she is talented. After they all had a cry, Kween led them in a hearty fuck yeah and as such, all was ok.

And just like that, I’m back on the Kween train.

The next day the finalists were no less excited, with Alyssa thrilled to make it to the end without landing in the bottom and hoping that would help her get the crown. Nelly reiterated that she was never less than safe too, and as such, consistency could see her crowned. As much as she’d like to show off her lip syncing skillz at some point, TBH. A siren rang out before the dolls were cast to the side as the eliminated queens made their triumphant return. Again. This time to take the spotlight as they battle it out to be crowned the Global Lip Sync Assassin. And a cash prize of $50K.

Everyone split up to start beating their mugs as Tessa congratulated the finalists on making it to the end. Talk turned to who is primed to win today’s little title, with everyone agreeing Gala, Vanity and Soa would have to be the frontrunners. While Pythia joked she thinks she and Eva are the front runners to her. Talk turned to how they would spend their money, with Miranda spending it on her family, Tessa and Athena would move out – and the latter would pay for her brother’s transition too, so we’re rooting for her even more – while Vanity wanted to spend it on a wedding. And invite some of her new sisters. Emphasis on some.

Ru, Michelle and Jamal took their places on the panel before wheeling out the dolls in their Global Lip Sync Eleganza Extravaganza and explaining that two by two they will face off, with the winners progressing until only one remains. Manuel from the Pit Crew pulled out his wheel to decide who would go first and ugh, Manuel is so hot, I am now distracted. But he must have spun it, as first up would be Vanity, who in turn got to select her opponent, going with Eva given she has already beaten her before. As the one to be chosen, Eva was able to select their song, going with Just What They Want. Which is what Nelly tipped, given it was clearly the hardest. Which proved smart, given Vanity had no idea what the lyrics were. Despite that, she gave hairography and an epic performance, which sadly wasn’t enough, as Vanity was sent to join the top four backstage as Eva progressed.

Manuel’s wheel came back – swoon – to line up Soa as the next performer. She in turn elected to face off against Tessa, who chose A.S.M.R. Lover for the soundtrack of their battle. Soa was honestly a delight from start to finish, as Tessa gave sexy and stupid before botching a split. Which sadly ended Ms T’s run and sent Soa through to the second round. Manuel then flooded our basement to line up Athena’s performance against Pythia to Jealous Of My Boogie. And from the first line, this was Athena’s redemption round. She was stupid and passionate, hitting every lyric and booked her place in round two. Leaving Gala to demolish poor Miranda in the final lip sync of the round to Cha Cha Bitch. Despite a cute little rainbow glitter rain moment and Gala literally dancing her wig off.

Which annoyed the shit out of Miranda, as she joined her sisters backstage. Which, fair.

Manuel got his wheel out again for round two, allowing Gala to select Eva as her next opponent while Eva selected Call Me Mother as their song. Despite not knowing any of the words, Gala was flipping around the stage and doing anything to distract, while Eva was fire from start to finish, enunciating every lyric, being fierce and sensual in equal measure. Which would have won her the lip sync, if Gala didn’t duck walk, which sent her through to the final round, it seems. As Soa and Athena lined up for U Wear It Well, it was clear both of them were desperate for the money as they turned a damn show. They gave attitude, they stomped the runway in unison and honestly, if they both made it to the final round, I wouldn’t have been mad. Sadly though, Ru only wanted two in the final, eliminating Athena and giving us the Gala/Soa rematch we deserve.

The eliminated queens and the top four were summoned back to the mainstage to watch the top two assassins battle for the win. To The Beginning. And damn, did they turn a show. While Gala was all attitude, Soa was oozing joy and was frankly magnetic, flicking her hair, hitting the lyrics and smiling the entire time. Gala slayed with air violin and handstand baby freezes, but make no mistake, it was Soa’s show. And the emotion rightly won her $50K and the title of Global Lip Sync Assassin. As she deserves.

Cocorico, cocorico, cocorico. Yas yas yas.

While the eliminated queens took their final bows, I quickly snuck up on Nelly and gave her a massive hug. She was super confused, given she hasn’t been eliminated yet, though I explained that given the season hadn’t gone very well for the ESL queens, I wanted to make sure she was well rested and fed heading into the finale. Because if anything can salvage this season, it is a victory for Nehellenia. Which was enough to perk her back up and get her on board with plotting her victory over a glorious Konbinehellenia Egg Sando.

Anyone that has had the deeply profound joy of eating an egg sando from a Japanese konbini knows that they are the only thing you ever need again. Sweet, rich and melt in your mouth, they are the perfect thing to feed your soul and encourage you to save the globe with your victory.

Enjoy!

Konbinehellenia Egg Sando
Serves: 2. 1 rightful victor and her bestie.

Ingredients
10 eggs
½ cup Kewpie mayonnaise
1 tsp kosher salt, plus more to taste
1 tsp raw caster sugar
¼ tsp black pepper
4 tsp thickened cream
2 tbsp unsalted butter, softened
4 slices Japanese milk bread, crusts removed

Method
Bring a medium saucepan of water to the boil. Once rollicking, carefully lower the eggs into the boiling water and cook for 10 minutes, or until hard boiled. Drain the eggs into a sink and plunge into iced water to cool for 15 minutes before peeling the eggs.

Split the eggs open and separate the yolks and whites into two bowls. Mash all the yolks in a bowl until they are almost a smooth paste. Add the mayonnaise, salt, sugar, and pepper and stir until well combined.

Finely chop the egg whites and add half to the yolk mixture, stir to combine, cover and chill for an hour. Reserve the rest of the whites for another recipe.

Once chilled, stir the cream into the egg mixture, seasoning with additional salt if required. Spread the butter evenly on one side of each bread slice. Top one slice, butter side up, with egg, cover with the remaining slice, butter side down. Slice into triangles and devour, in culinary heaven.


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Herby Bentllia Chips

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Side, Snack, Tapas, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Kirby was feeling left right out so got to work with the smartest move, playing on Kitty’s guilt. Thankfully for her, however, it wasn’t ultimately necessary as she ended up securing her own safety with immunity. Buying her more time for her bromance with Feras to flourish. They locked in a Kitty blindside with Ray and Mark, while unbeknownst to Mark, Caroline had plans of her own. You see, she thought the target was Mark and after finding the idol, she wanted to make a big move of playing it to save him and get rid of Feras instead. Mainly to impress Alex, it seems. Sadly for her, however, the Rebels and Mark instead found Kitty’s endurance strength to be more threatening and she was blindsided instead.

Back at camp Mark rightly questioned why Caroline didn’t think to warn him about her plans so he could have voted with her and Kitty. Even though we know the answer is that Caroline wanted a move of one’s own. Feras meanwhile spoke about how nervous he was to see her pull out the idol, while everyone agreed they were just grateful to still be in the game. Feras then went stargazing with Ray and Kirby, talking about how he could use his idol to get all of them to the final four. Which means something is totally getting in the way of this plan, right?

The next day the former Titans were catching up in the hammock while the Rebels simultaneously worried about what they were planning and wondering why they weren’t idol hunting. Caroline and Mark knew they were on a sinking ship, though the latter suggested that he would still like Kirby out next. Whether Feras and her are actually besties now or not. Finally realising an idol had probably been rehidden, Caroline suggested they both get hunting which made the Rebels even more nervous. As such, Feras decided that he should hide the remains of his second idol for Ray to find to both protect his legit bestie and trick the other two into stopping their hunt. And given the plan relies on Ray’s acting, I see this coming together perfectly.

Everyone split up in the jungle to hunt, allowing Ray to take on his latest role, finding and hiding his non-idol in a way that draws attention. And honestly, watching the heartache on Mark and Caroline’s faces as they watched him find the non-idol made me feel so bad. But given how it fired up Mark to win immunity, I still feel uneasy about this backfiring. Particularly since the ads have been pushing us this way, though let us not forget Sue’s big move.

The final five caught up with JLP for the aforementioned immunity challenge where they would have to roll balls down an apparatus – adding more over time – with the last person standing without dropping winning. Kirby sadly added her second ball way too closely to the first, though managed to save herself from certain doom and make it through to adding her third. Caroline made the same mistake on ball three which saw her become the first one out. Adding the fourth ball is where things got extra spicy, immediately costing Kirby. Much to the delight of Caroline. Ray then dropped trying to pick up the pace, leaving Mark and Feras to battle it out until the latter dropped out of nowhere handing Mark immunity. Just as the Rebels didn’t want.

Back at camp the mood well and truly flipped, as the Rebels were stressed AF while the Titans were rather delighted. Feras was upset about always being a bridesmaid in the challenges, on top of the fact that Mark was their target. Knowing Kirby was more likely to take him to the end than Caroline, Feras got to work trying to get Mark on board to get her out instead. He wisely approached him asking who he wanted to see go, with Mark pointing out Kirby is the obvious winner and as such, needs to be clipped before she wins out to the end. Feras took this information to Ray, who agreed that Kirby really is too big of a threat and as such, he would probably vote with the Titans.

Caroline and Kirby caught up, realising it was between them, despite neither of them wanting it to end like that. Kirby moved on to Mark, talking about how she is well aware that it is likely she will be going home tonight. Knowing Ray was the most obvious swing vote, she approached Ray to see what he was thinking. And as he flipped his coconut on to the beach accidentally, he assured her he is still Rebels strong. As such, Kirby went to talk to Feras to see whether she could actually trust Ray. Kirby pointed out that if she goes home tonight, Feras is the obvious next target and as such, gave a hail Mary in asking him to play his idol for her. And damn, her arguments are so solid, I would genuinely consider it if I was him, despite it guaranteeing him second place.

I mean, if I win you win? What a line.

Feras then approached Mark to see what he said to Kirby, with Mark admitting that he didn’t see a point lying and as such, admitted she was too much of a threat. Mark then got to work trying to lock Feras in as an ally to get rid of Kirby tonight, with him happily locking in a final three deal. Which sounds like a grab from the next episode, but I digress. Nervous about the Mark deal, Feras pulled Caroline aside to see what she was thinking, with her straight up admitting she would gladly cut Mark at final four should he not win immunity. Which again, is the very obvious thing you would say at this point of the game. The Rebels caught up one final time, with Kirby pointing out that if she goes next, the two of them will go out back-to-back barring immunity.

At tribal council Mark spoke about how grateful he is to be immune, as right on cue, Feras and Ray proved how stressful things are by whispering about what to do. Feras then spoke to the crew about feeling disappointed to have missed out on immunity, though isn’t too concerned given he has an idol. Mark talked about Caroline having a target as one of the two people without immunity, before not-so-subtly pitching to Feras and Ray about getting rid of a threat, rather than someone that would drag them to the end as goats. Feras advocated about keeping a shield around for just a little bit longer, leading to Mark and Caroline pointing out that the time to get rid of the threats is actually now, given there are three sleeps left. Kirby admitted that she knows she is only here because of her immunity wins as people are scared of her game, with Feras showboating for the jury, talking about how he isn’t scared, as maybe the jury just hasn’t seen all of his moves yet.

As Ray spoke about how the jury could respect different things, Feras popped his idol on leading to a lot of giggles as Mark pointed out that Ray also found an idol. While he joked about waiting for the right time to whip it out, rather than wearing it as he wants his moment. Not because it isn’t real. Kirby spoke about fighting for every moment she has had in the game, which lead to Caroline pointing out she has also fought hard and given her all, despite not taking out any immunities. Mark looked on as Feras looked stressed at Kirby, whispering for him to hold firm and make the smart move. With that the tribe voted and while we don’t know if it will come back to bite him, Ray admitted he didn’t actually have an idol and Feras said it was actually just his that they re-hid before saying that Kirby’s fate rests with this idol too. And after telling her she is like a sister to him, played it for himself as Kirby was tragically booted from the game.

Kirby followed my sobs all the way to the Jury Villa. While she took her boot in stride, I didn’t take it as well, heartbroken to have ended the season long feud with Feras just short of the finale. I get Feras and Ray made the right move in voting with the Titans, but I was still sad to see it end so soon. But alas, a big bowl of Herby Bentllia Chips and a hug from Kirby made me feel infinitely better.

These chips are so easy yet so delicious, they should be a crime. This Half-Baked Harvest rework is so delicious – almost a fusion between italian and mexican, they are perfect by themselves or with a rich guac or whipped feta. 

Enjoy!

Herby Bentllia Chips
Serves: 2 *best* friends.

Ingredients
1 tbsp Parmesan cheese, grated
½ tsp dried oregano
½ tsp dried parsley 
½ tsp dried crushed rosemary
½ tsp chilli flakes
¼ tsp garlic powder
⅛ tsp kosher salt
black pepper
2 small flour tortillas
2 tsp olive oil

Method
Combine the parmesan, oregano, parsley, rosemary, chilli, garlic powder, salt and pepper in a small bowl. 

Cut the tortillas into 8 wedges each, brush with the oil and place on a lined baking sheet. Add the seasoning, and toss to coat before arranging on a single layer. Pop in the oven and bake for 5-10 minutes, or until golden and crisp. Remove from the oven to cool into a nice crunch for about 5 minutes. Then, and only then, devour.


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Sheeta Panaj Lemon Chicken

Main, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World 2, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World the dolls created an immersive experience for fans that promotes everything we love about the ever-expanding franchise, Drag Race World. While Scarlet was quickly able to identify this one as a branding challenge, and given she has a marketing degree, took control and absolutely slayed the game. Tia meanwhile tried desperately to keep Keta and Marina on task, in their group and while she was able to join Scarlet in the top, Keta was too much of a mess and landed in the bottom. With Jonbers, who was just flat as not a joke landed, while LGD and Hannah shone. In deliberations, Keta offered Tia some massages, while Jonbers worried that Scarlet was intimidated by her killer looks. Which may have been proven, as after Scarlet won the lip sync, she promptly booted Jonbers.

Backstage Scarlet was thrilled to finally grab her first solo win over the course of her three seasons, particularly since she felt sending a UK doll home was iconic. She felt her oats while cleaning the mirror, as Choriza felt that sending an icon like Jonbers home meant that the contest is really on. Keta thanked Scarlet for saving her, with Scarlet explaining her top performance in the ball is what tipped her over the edge, given she would like others to base decisions on her track record. Tia then tried to do a fake-out, pretending that she voted for Keta, before admitting that she too would have sent Jonbers home given she literally was just in the top two and has been slaying. Also, as she told us, eliminating one of the UK dolls means the target on her, Choriza and Gothy, is that much smaller with Jonbers gone.

The next day the mood was honestly full party mode as the dolls conga-ed into another week, while Marina just modelled, given she is an icon. The three victors showed off their badges as Hannah joked about being the queen of the safe club and as such, was grateful her target wasn’t so large. Ru then dropped by and quickly announced that this week the dolls would be playing the Snatch Game. Family Edition. Which obviously filled Tia with dread, given it is the challenge she went home. And as the winner of last week’s challenge, Scarlet had the power to select her family.

Everyone sat down to talk through the challenge, with Hannah, LGD and Keta proudly being past winners, while Choriza and Tia were terrified, given it was the challenge they went home on. Marina was happy with her OG performance, which is iconic to those in the Philippines, while Gothy and Scarlet were about to lose their Snatch Game virginity, and were equal parts nervous and excited. With that out of the way, Scarlet picked her family, going with Hannah, Choriza and Tia. Leaving the three ESL queens together, and Gothy, who is super shy, which feels shady. Which I love and hate. The families split up, with Scarlet announcing she will be making her debut as the Statue of Liberty, Tia was going with Anne Boleyn, while Choriza was going to be Henry VIII’s first wife, Catherine of Aragon.

Before we could learn who Hannah was doing, Ru dropped by to kiki, laughing at Tia finally jagging a win before she announced she will be Anne Boleyn, which delighted Ru. As Tia vowed to smash it out of the park. LGD was going with Carla Bruni, which made Ru nervous, as the double French accent was becoming hard to understand. Marina is following Melinda Verga’s footsteps with some Manny Pacquiao, while Ru was equally delighted by Choriza’s choice to play Catherine of Aragon. Which is good that she is Spanish, because her English accent isn’t great. Though better than Marina’s TBH, but damn they are charming. Keta will be bringing Fran Drescher, while Hannah is following in Jimbo’s footsteps as Shirley Temple. But make it Megan the doll. Side note: both of these repeats were filmed BEFORE the others aired, so these are not copycats, ok? Ru was delighted by Scarlet’s choice of Statue of Liberty and a little nervous for Gothy giving Kim Woodburn. And ugh, her nerves are going to get to her and I hate it.

We ventured to the Snatch Game: Family Edition set as Team Scarlet were led by Sinitta, while the rest were led by guest Jane McDonald. Team McDonald all stuck with their OG choices, with LGD cute, Keta started off strong, but lacked the jokes while Marina, like Melinda, was an icon as Manny. And poor Gothy just straight up bombed. Team Sinitta also stuck with their plans where Hannah was demented – though not as demented as Jimbo, obvi – Scarlet was iconic, Choriza was glorious and Tia stole the show holding her own head in her hands. Tragically the international girls all really struggled competing in their second language, though thankfully Marina did land a few killer blows. Scarlet was a powerhouse and Choriza filthy, though it was Tia and Hannah who really owned Snatch Game, hopefully leaving us with another two-time victor and some much needed rudemption.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls in varying moods as Hannah was feeling her oats, Scarlet was thrilled to do a good job on her first go, while Gothy knew she bombed and felt she did worse than she even thought possible. Keta too, knew she bombed, while LGD knew their family were far and away the shittest. Knowing they need to do a good job, the dolls split up to get ready for their runways to hopefully save them. Talk turned to the dating scenes in their respective countries, with LGD opening up about being a romantic, though looking forward to being a little looser too. Marina admitted that she is perennially single, given there is too much beauty. Hannah joked about importing her favourite d, her Geordie boyfriend. While Scarlet and Gothy just desperately wanted to have a loving drag husband. Gothy opened up about not knowing who she is and how can’t love someone else until she figures it out and ugh, Gothy is just such a sweet, tragic figure in the franchise. Isn’t she?

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined on the panel by knitting king Tom Daley as the dolls stomped the runway in Gone Cruisin’ looks. Keta gave patchwork pirate and ugh, she looked so stunning I mean, she even had an anchor nipple ring. Choriza was gorgeous in a blue and white latex mini with tentacles, LGD gave high fashion genuine sailor stripes in Gaultier, while Scarlet gave first class victim of the Titanic and Gothy gave baby Birth of Venus in the cutest way possible. Hannah gave Picnic at Hanging Rock on the ocean, but made it nightgown, Tia gave Ozempic Ursula – aka Karen the Kraken – and Marina closed the show with water heels and titties as a straight up sexy boat. And yeah, it was another slay.

Choriza and Marina were sent to safety before Keta was read for only just giving a laugh, and lacking the energy and fun of Fran. Which was tragically all there in her runway, which was excellence upon excellence. Tia meanwhile got wall to wall praise for being stupid and smart in equal measure as Anne Boleyn, and they also loved the runway, despite its simplicity. They wished LGD gave more and had fun, though obviously lived for her straight up perfect runway. Scarlet was praised for doing a solid job and looking perfect as Rose without her door from Titanic. Poor Gothy was read for just giving nothing in Snatch Game, and being too simple on the runway. While Hannah received wall to wall praise for being dumb and manic, and looking stunning.

Ultimately Tia and Hannah were deemed the top two of the week, and Scarlet and LGD were sent to safety leaving Keta Minaj and Gothy Kendoll up for elimination. Backstage Hannah and Tia were feeling their oats, while Choriza was gutted to be the new queen of the safe club. Tia opened up about how weird it is to be winning challenges, while Hannah was sad to elect a new president for her club in Choriza. Everyone spoke about how stunning LGD’s runway is, though they laughed about her choice of pizza boxer briefs underneath. Hannah checked in with Gothy whole was weeping quiet tears, while Keta was more upbeat about her bomb. Scarlet clocked Gothy for deciding she will be bad and as such, being bad in all the challenges.

Hannah caught up with Gothy to let her know how much she loves her, with Gothy talking about how difficult the contest is and how it keeps her stuck in her head. Hannah tried to get the fight from her, asking what Gothy needs to succeed. Though she seemed too broken to muster a tangible answer. Tia told Keta how strong she knows she is, though also noted that she has now been in the bottom twice in a row. They traded places with Keta telling Hannah that while she isn’t funny, she has a fire to be here and is ready to fight. Which both delighted and made Hannah scared that she could beat her in the end. Gothy spoke to Tia about how much the competition means to her, though worried about how she will be able to apply the judges feedback. With Tia straight up asking if she can cut it, or whether she should eliminate her as Keta is ready to fight each and every episode.

After Tia and Hannah selected their lipsticks, they ventured back to the mainstage as Ru pulled out the wireless and popped on Alcazar’s Crying at the Discotheque. And damn, the dolls turned a show. Though like Jimbo before her, Hannah tragically failed by not lip syncing as Shirley Temple. So while she hit every lyric and gave sex, Tia gave camp and emotion in equal measure, which was all it took to take out victory and claim her first badge. And then promptly saved her UK sister and showed Keta the door.

As Keta arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that while she was robbed, it still remains the best way to go if you’re going to place in the middle of the pack. Which she eventually agreed was true. I mean, look what happened to Pangina and Jimbo? Universally beloved and everyone is gagging for more, while Jujubee stayed consistent and made it to the end, but with a whimper and now we can’t have her back every year or so. Which honestly, is a travesty. I went on this exact rant with Keta and while she got bored in the middle, I brought it back to her situation and how bright her future may be. Which cheered her up as much as eating a big ol’ Sheeta Panaj Lemon Chicken.

This is the perfect mid-week meal, for when you need something warm and comforting, but are also close to tears as the weight of work and life gets to you. What, just me? Oh well, try it on a Wednesday night and you will understand.

Enjoy!

Sheeta Panaj Lemon Chicken
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1kg chicken breasts, diced
¼ cup extra virgin olive oil
8 cloves garlic, minced
1 tbsp smoked paprika
2 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp chilli flakes
1 tsp dried oregano
¼ tsp cinnamon
¼ tsp ground coriander seeds
kosher salt and black pepper
2 sweet potatoes, cut into thick chips
200g Jaida Essence Halloumi, sliced
1 lemon, quartered
1 cucumber, sliced
1 batch Aileen Choddess Dressing
1 cup Sierra Dawn-Hummus
4 Pita Andre Breads

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C. 

In a bowl, toss together the chicken with half the oil, the garlic, paprika, cumin, chilli, oregano, cinnamon, coriander, and a pinch of salt. 

While that does a quick little marinade, toss the sweet potato in the remaining oil with a good whack of salt and pepper. Spread on a lined baking sheet and pop in the oven for 15 minutes. Remove from the oven, flip and push to one end, adding the chicken, halloumi and lemon. Return to the oven to bake for a further 20 minutes, or until the chicken is golden and the chips crispy.

To serve, line a bowl with the Aileen Choddess Dressing, divide the chicken, chips and halloumi, dollop over the hummus, sprinkle with cucumber coins and squeeze over the caramelised lemon. Then devour, greedily, with a pita.


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Aileen Choddess Dressing

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Condiment, Sauce, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Jaden woke up after Winna’s blindside. Both literally, in the middle of the night to workout, and figuratively in the game, given he literally spent the first month vibing, joking and having a good time. Mark won a car at an epic reward challenge – costing him the season in the process – and used an epic BBQ reward to help Valeria, Kitty and Caroline reconcile. At immunity challenge, Jaden didn’t go for the joke and give up, snatching his first win. With the Titans seemingly back together, Eden tried to rally the troops to get rid of Ray and weaken the Rebels. At tribal council, however, Feras and the Rebels felt something was up and decided to load their votes on Eden. And then on the revote, Jaden flipped to send Eden home, for getting rid of Winna.

Aka another perfect Shonee-esque revenge arc.

The next day Caroline pulled Feras aside to apologise for turning on him mere hours after forming an alliance. She then went back to the shelter, where Kitty was sobbing, heartbroken for superfan Eden. While Ray literally sat beneath them laughing about being the number one physical threat on the tribe, so it makes sense they were targeting him of all people. Then awkwardly laughing about how his jokes just don’t seem to be landing for them. Feras and Aileen caught up by the well, trying to figure out who could actually be useful for their game moving forward. Feras opened up to us about how much he relies on Aileen to edit his ideas and keep him in check. He listed off the potential allies, Kitty and Caroline, and Jaden, and even Kirby at this point. But given every mention of Kirby’s name leads to rattlesnakes, I feel like Aileen may be voted out to weaken Feras.

Feras then went back to Caroline to assure her that there are no hard feelings and that he would love to ride it to the end with her and Kitty. He then returned to camp to chat to Aileen and Alex, while Kirby looked on suspiciously. She opened up to us about how she has been sitting back and watching post-merge, but feels like she has collected as much information as she needs to make a move. Starting with getting rid of Aileen, so that Feras has no other option but to align with her. And again, why didn’t they just align on day one and not bicker, you know?

The tribe met JLP in the middle of the jungle for the Survivor Auction with each getting $500 to spend, and as usual, the auction would end at any time without notice. Ray went hard for popcorn and lemonade, spending $400, and ugh, I love to see our king win. Aileen spent $500 for a covered item which ended up being fried chicken. Despite Ray trying to spend $100 for pizza, Kirby won it for $500. Caroline spent $420 for brownies, ice cream and diarrhoea in about half an hour. Parmie and beer went to Valeria for $120, which honestly is such a bargain. Even though she gave the beer to JLP. Feras then pointed out he would like whatever is under a box off to the side, with him straight up paying his entire $500 for. Which was money well spent from an oral health perspective, as it was a toothbrush, toothpaste and some mints to take back to camp. As he brushed his teeth, Ray found a little surprise in his popcorn, which is what we can assume Feras thought would be hidden under the aforementioned box.

Back at camp Feras offered everyone a little mint as they chuckled about his misfortune, while Raymond excused himself to learn that his advantage is an interesting little twist on an idol, where if every single person votes for him, his vote becomes the only one that counts. And to make it even more exciting, he has to use it in the next three tribal councils. Dangerous but fun, so thankfully Ray found it as he is a king. He returned to camp to loop in Feras and ugh, why do I now get the sad feeling he is going home tonight. Not my sweet angel Ray-Ray!

That night Kirby couldn’t sleep as the potential options continued to spin around her head. She knew that Feras is somebody she wanted to work with and as such, she needed Aileen out if it is ever going to work. She woke Feras up to assure him that she is definitely Rebel strong as a cover, throwing out Mark as her main target with a split on Caroline. And while it is all I lie, their banter is such a joy that I just wish she was up front with him to solidify their power couple status. We then got a 3am timestamp to show that Kirby is still wide awake, as Jaden caught up with her to talk about how Eden betrayed him and the Titans kept leaving him out of chats, thus turning on them. As such, she played into what he needed from her, chatting through options and casually suggesting the two of them and Rianna work with the OG Titans to get rid of Aileen next.

The next morning Kirby was energised, despite no sleep, so she and Rianna pulled Kitty aside to let Her know what the Rebels were planning. But assured her they have a lifeline for Caroline, and that is if all the Titans stick together and vote Aileen. And while they aren’t 100% they can trust Kirby, they are also kind of screwed and had to. Kitty pulled Caroline, Mark and Valeria aside, with Mark and Caroline very much against the idea of turning on Feras, while Kitty and Valeria agreed that Kirby will stick with the Rebels if they don’t agree to work with her.

The tribe caught up with JLP for the immunity challenge where they would hold onto a rope to balance a disc while walking back and forth down a lane to stack blocks on top of it. Jaden got out to an early lead, calmly powering along, as everyone else nipped at his heels. Well, except for Kirby, who could only vibe with one block. Tragically after loading up the sixth block, Jaden dropped and had to start over, allowing Aileen to take out the lead with Feras nipping at her heels. For a second, as he too dropped. Aileen continued to power ahead as Kitty closed the gap, though her nerves really kicked in as she started to walk back to the mat after stacking all the blocks. As she barely moved, Kitty closed the gap and tried to overtake before Aileen dropped them all only centimetres from the mat. Giving Kitty all the time in the world to work her way back and collect immunity.

Back at camp Kitty gave her sympathy to Aileen for dropping so close to the end before Feras pulled the Rebels aside to lock in the vote against Mark. He and Aileen went for a walk in the jungle to lock in the vote split, while figuring out how to apologise to Caroline after. He caught up with Caroline to let her know that while the Rebels want her gone, he and Aileen were able to flip things to Mark instead, but assured her that they can still trust each other despite the fact she will be seeing her name come up. Kirby and Jaden, meanwhile, were giggling about their plan coming together. She then got Valeria and Kitty to keep Mark and Caroline from spiralling, given she doesn’t want Feras to see her discussing anything and spooking him. Caroline told the trio that Feras warned her that votes were coming her way and as such, she was terrified. Kitty tried to keep them together as Caroline reiterated that they just don’t know if they can trust Kirby.

Feras and Alex watched on, clocking how nervous they were and as such, caught up with Caroline. She denied having heard any names which made Feras more and more nervous that something was afoot, given it is very clear she was lying to him. He then went in search of Kitty, knowing she is far more likely to crack, pledging his undying allegiance to her while she continued to be evasive. Alex joined them, as Feras continued to push hard for information until she eventually mentioned she promised to stick to their plan. Ray, Feras and Alex figured out that Kirby must be part of what the Titans think they have planned, so the Rebels decided to lock in all their votes for Mark to minimise the risk of errors. Caroline continued to spiral, crying in Kitty’s arms about how nervous she is and that she doesn’t know if she could trust Kirby. While Kirby was busy being awkward with Feras and Ray when they tried to joke around with her and while the newbies aren’t the best gamers, they do make for great TV.

At tribal council Feras spoke about his hope that the Rebels would be able to stick together for at least a few rounds, while Kirby joked about the Titans clearly being sitting ducks. Caroline continued to lead with her nerves, stating this is the most nervous she has felt all game long. Alex likened the scramble to the school yard, particularly how quickly relationships can end. Kitty joked about being grateful she is safe given the drama, while Valeria shared how hopeful she is to have found some cracks. Given a few people have become way too confident and as such, they need to go ASAP. Particularly those with idols. Kirby then reiterated it might be time for Alex to play his, as Aileen confirmed not one has been played correctly yet. Yet. Feras started to whisper to Aileen about the fact Kirby has clearly flipped on them and as such, they tried to figure out how to save themselves. Kirby spoke about how she and Rianna felt like they’re on the bottom of the majority, with today being the first time she has heard a name. Which is better than the last few rounds.

With that the tribe voted, Alex made a show of not playing his idol before Aileen was gagged to find herself blindsided from the game. At the very least, to become the Queen of the Jury. As she arrived at the Jury Villa, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that while she wasn’t the standout character of the season, it was clear she is an epic gamer and as such, seems primed for a return. Given her threat will be lower, while her skillz are clearly high. Which was such a great pep talk that she perked right up and got to joyfully smashing a vat of Aileen Choddess Dressing together.

While their are many variations on what constitutes a goddess dressing or sauce, the one consistency, is their bright, freshness. And therefore, this well and truly fits the bill. Zingy and packing a punch, it works on just about anything and will have you coming back for more and more.

Enjoy!

Aileen Choddess Dressing
Serves: 2 dear friends.

Ingredients
2 avocados, halved
¼ cup greek yoghurt, plus extra to taste
½ cup coriander
½ cup basil
1 jalapeño, halved and seeded
1 lemon, zested and juiced
1 tsp cumin
1 garlic clove, minced
kosher salt and black pepper, to taste

Method
Pop everything in a blender or food processor, and blitz until smooth, adding a tablespoon of yoghurt at a time until it reaches your desired consistency.

Season to taste, then devour as you see fit.


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Peta Habennetto Chicken Nachos

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, Poultry, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the Titans finally managed to jag a win at the reward challenge, though given it was kind of an everyone’s a winner situation, it was a given. Sadly for them, that is where it stopped as despite a hefty lead in the immunity challenge, the Rebels pulled a come from behind win and spent another night chilling in harmony. Back at camp, Jess decided she was in charge and as such, opted to target the man who saved her the previous night, Eden. And as her confidence grew, she became a little chaotic, as she performed for a non-existent jury and turned everyone off. Almost forcing them to band together to blindside her.

The next day things were far more harmonious as Viola and Valeria continued to be iconic. Eden, meanwhile, was still annoyed to see his name at the previous tribal council. He approached Mark, Caroline and Kitty to thank them for having his back before they anointed themselves the Middle Aged Mafia and yeah, I live for it TBH. Despite the fact somebody that is younger than me refers to themselves as middle aged. Over at the Rebels, Peta and Scott were taking it easy doing some yoga and manifesting a balance or puzzle challenge. She then disappeared to catch up with her allies – Tobias, Sarah and Alex – as she watched the Kelli and Raymond show, worrying whether she will be able to bite her tongue long term. Peta and Sarah tried to figure out who would be best to join them, and I assume, be dragged to the end at their whim. Since that worked so well on the Titans tribe.

Sadly for her, Queen Kirby was watching like an absolute hawk and clocked that she felt like she was running things. And while Kirby planned to play an under the radar game, she was ready to make some quiet moves to get rid of Peta. Feras pulled her and Garrick aside, clocking her strategy and using it as a way to lock in the natural alliances that have already formed. Though trust, while she is concerned about the Cuddle Crew, she also didn’t want to shut off any options. Right on cue, Peta approached Kirby and warned her that divisions were forming and suggested it would be smart for her to work closely with the stronger crew. And holy hell, how did the strong people on both tribes clearly botch this in the exact same way.

The tribes came together in the shallows with Jonathan – Alex and Nathan thankfully in their speedos – for a physical reward challenge where, in rounds, they would race to have one person exit a cage. First tribe to three jagging an epic food basket. Sarah and Rianna were first to face off against Viola and Kitty, and damn, it was scrappy as hell before Queen V made a break to score the first point for the Titans. Jaden and Nathan faced off against Alex and Tobias and hot damn, we’re losing a speedo tonight. Wait, no, both the speedos ran away with it – on their respective bodies – and tried to escape with Nathan scoring another point for Titans. Valeria and Caroline faced off against Aileen and Kelli, with Aileen eventually making a break and scoring the first point for the Rebels. Winna and Mark then faced off against Feras and Ray, if you could even call it that, as Mark shot out and won the challenge for the Titans without any contact.

Oh and Kelli made a play to bang Nathan. So while she is super annoying, I also find her fundamentally relatable.

Back at camp the tribe were overjoyed to discover their basket of food. Until they discovered it was made up of unmarked cans, though you know Jaden was pumped for the one identifiable one, spam. Even though Mark opted to take it, no doubt assuming nobody wanted it. After smashing his can of peaches, Jaden went for a swim with Nathan, who was looking forward to a swap where they can align with the alphas at the Rebels. Speaking of them, Alex and Peta were talking about how Nathan was clearly trying to signal them at the challenge. They went for a walk to get some water before parlaying that into an idol hunt and despite calling themselves Barbie and Ken, managed to jag it without a clue. Which only managed to make them more and more confident, as they vowed to keep it between them.

That night the Rebels were marvelling at the stars as Kelli and Raymond continued to run their mouths and destroy the peace. Peta, Alex, Tobias and Sarah sat alone snacking, floating that maybe now would be the right time to throw a challenge and get rid of one of the irritating people. As to quote Alex, “Kelli annoys the shit out of me.” Sadly for them, however, throwing a challenge often backfires and given the narrative of the season appears to be pride coming before the fall, I see one of them exiting soon. Potentially with an idol in her pocket, perchance.

Jonathan returned to oversee the latest immunity challenge where the tribes would have to race load a series of sacks onto a heavy platform and slingshot, and navigate it through a series of obstacles, use a machete to cut open a bag to release sandbags, use said sandbags to knock over blocks and then use the blocks to solve a puzzle. Given three of the stronger people were actively trying to throw the challenge, the Rebels quickly fell out of it as the Titans lined their sled up at the end of the course and got to shooting. Nathan released all the blocks as the Rebels continued to saunter through the course, giving Eden and Charles a massive lead on the puzzle. While Tobias pretended to struggle with the slingshot. Finally Kirby switched in and made quick work of the puzzle pieces, though it wasn’t enough as the Titans jagged their first immunity win. Eventually, despite the fact they had a single piece in the wrong spot but couldn’t see it until the Rebels only had one left too.

As Tobias, Alex and Peta did a really bad job of looking disappointed to have lost.

Back at camp most of the tribe were dejected as Tobias tried to blame the wet ground for his bombing. Before he, Alex, Sarah and Peta peeled off and agreed they were thrilled to go to tribal council and trim the fat in Kelli. They pulled most of the tribe to the well to lock it in, with Raymond offering to go talk to her and ask what she was thinking. As he exited, Peta then suggested they split the vote between Kelli and Raymond, because of course she did. Kirby meanwhile was busy quietly watching everything until the Cuddle Crew dropped by and asked her to split the vote. Though her face was quizzical as hell, which should have been an answer. Tobias then looped in Feras who went to loop Garrick in on the plan, but instead, they clocked that the challenge was thrown. 

After confirming their suspicions together, Feras went to talk to Kirby and Rianna to warn that the challenge was thrown. Kirby then threw out that Peta was way too confident and as such, clearly thinks she is in control, making it the perfect time to blindside her. Kirby then went person to person locking everyone in on this plan before trying to calm Kelli, who grew paranoid she may get idolled out. While Kirby stayed calm and steady, pointing out that the Cuddle Crew are so confident everyone is voting for her that even if they have an idol, they won’t play it. And while Garrick and Kirby worried her acting was going to ruin the plan, I actually think she sold her chaotic nerves.

And meditation.

As she ommed out, the Cuddle Crew looked ready to scream, willing away the hours until they could vote her out. Feras meanwhile was worried she was doing too much, asking her to stop with the theatrics. She then took the fake tears to Aileen, before Aileen was summoned by Peta, asking if she was scrambling. She assured her that Kelli is honestly just crying and not floating plans, and while Peta promised us she will play the idol if she feels nervous, I honestly don’t think she would. Feras, Aileen and Kirby caught up, with the latter reiterating that Peta is so confident, she will not even consider herself at risk. Kirby then realised the tribe is so united against Kelly, that her vote doesn’t even matter and as such, pulled Rianna aside to float them voting with the Cuddle Alliance, so they could continue to play both sides and pretend they were equally as blindsided.

At tribal council the Rebels lit their torches and took their seats as Alex opened up about how not having to come to tribal council for a week gave them plenty of time for relationships to form. Raymond agreed it was nice to understand how everyone ticks and after a week, he likes most of them. Which, lol. Peta admitted she is confident she is on the wrong side of the vote before Kelli continued her acting tour de force, pretending she knows she is going home. Alex then asked if she contributes around camp, with Kelli pointing out she helps with the fire at night, while he and his friends all sleep cuddling by it. This pissed off Alex – and made me not love him anymore, TBH – before Kelli admitted she is sure his allies are all voting for her so it doesn’t matter what she says.

Peta admitted tribal is the place of blindsides and idols, which made Feras smile like a cheshire cat. Which in turn made Kirby look a little nervous, before he took it one step further, saying people need to be made an example of and put in their place. This made the Cuddle Crew appear to be super nervous, given they all felt the vote was rather united. Talk turned to the idols, with Raymond admitting he is in trouble because he was caught looking for one, rather than finding it. Garrick spoke about having suspicions about where an idol may be, before Alex made a not so subtle plea to the tribe that if you’re nervous and have an idol, you should play it. Which appeared to make Peta consider it, leading to Feras expertly suggesting if you’re that nervous at the first tribal council, maybe the game isn’t for you. And if you’ve heard a name, now would be a good time to trust it.

With that the tribe voted, Peta held on to her idol and like Frankie, was crushed to learn that most of the tribe hated her and the buff crew, as she was swiftly booted from the game. And side note, Alex, I am so disappointed in you for your attitude, despite the hot pink speedo. As she arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled her in for a big hug and despite reading the alphas on both tribes for letting arrogance get in the way, assured her that despite the loss, her exit was iconic and TBH, sometimes that is all you can hope for. As I served up a plate of Peta Habennetto Chicken Nachos on her way to the airport.

This nachos is honestly glorious. A copycat of the GYG version, it is fiery and fresh, with a punch of tangy salsa and creamy avocado to have you coming back for more. And dry up even the most shocked tears.

Enjoy!

Peta Habennetto Chicken Nachos
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
500g chicken breasts
5 cloves garlic, minced
1 lime, zested and juiced
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp habanero sauce, plus extra to serve
2 tsp chilli powder
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 tsp salt
½ tsp oregano
¼ tsp black pepper
500g corn chips
2 cups cheddar cheese, grated
400g can black beans
½ cup Pico de Vincent Gallo
1 cup Salsa Struthers
1 cup Lady Gaugamole
sour cream, to taste

Method
Combine the chicken, garlic, lime zest and juice, olive oil, habanero and spices in a large bowl, cover and pop in the fridge to marinate for a couple of hours.

Preheat the oven to 180C.

Once the chicken is saucy, pop it on a lined baking sheet and pop in the oven to bake for 20-30 minutes, or until cooked through and a little charred on the outside. Remove from the oven and leave to cool for about 15 minutes before roughly chopping.

Once ready, layer six bowls with some corn chips and sprinkle with the cheese. Top with black beans, pico de gallo, salsa, chicken and a little more cheese. Place the bowls on a baking sheet and place under a medium grill for five minutes, or until the cheese is melty and delicious.

Remove, top with sour cream, guac and habanero. And then devour.


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Chickiki Coern Soup

Canada's Drag Race 4, Canada’s Drag Race, Main, Poultry, Soup, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls competed in the first ever Lip Sync Slay Off Extravaganza. Not to be confused with a Lip Sync LalapaRuza, which is a different thing. Just let Canada have it, ok? And since it would leave four of the dolls in the bottom and Miss Thing Golden Beaver refused to save two from the lip sync, it would be the first double boot in Canada’s Drag Race herstory. After Nearah flipped her way to the final two, she promptly defeated Aurora and opted to save her friend Denim from the bottom. Leaving Kiki to dominate the bottom three lip sync, sending Aimee and Kitten out the door back-to-back. Followed by the icon herself, Golden Beaver.

Backstage the dolls were devastated to have lost two such iconic queens in one go. Though quickly moved on when they realised that they were now in the top six. Nearah meanwhile was feeling her oats to have a win under her belt, though was still nervous about a design challenge popping in and getting her eliminated. Though trust, she wanted Denim’s help should one come up, given she can no longer rely on the Golden Beaver. Oh and then everyone read Denim for being the only winless queen, though she vowed one was coming. So it is either this week. Or she is in the bottom, because editors are icons themselves.

The next day the dolls were feeling it; exhausted and in need of a rest. Instead of getting one, Brooke dropped by and they learnt that while they would get to sit down in a mini challenge, they would still have to be in quick drag as they take sex advice calls from the audience. Melinda took it very seriously, Nearah couldn’t read, Venus was an effortless star, Denim was ridiculous, Aurora was solid and Kiki was wise and cute in equal measure. And given Venus is a consistent star, she took out victory. Oh and then they were reminded that winning isn’t everything, as this week they’d be starring in Drags to Riches: The Unauthorised Brooke Lynn Hytes Story. That’s right, it is time for the rusical!

The dolls split up to listen to the numbers, with Melinda, Nearah and Denim desperate to play Baby Brooke Lynn. So they auditioned, though Nearah gave nothing given she was confident she could do anything. So Melinda got the showtune number. Venus and Kiki meanwhile fought for the Opera number, with the latter offering to take Cabaret to try something different. Aurora took out ballet era Brooke while Nearah reluctantly took the pop star style drag race era, leaving Denim with a gospel number for Brooke’s current hosting life.

With that, the cast split up to get down the lines before Brooke dropped by to check in on the dolls. Melinda was pumped to play Baby Brooke, loving the chance to show off her dance skills. Aurora meanwhile looked forward to giving the professional dancer era, despite not actually having had any training. Kiki was looking forward to having fun, while Nearah was confident in her ability to shine despite the fact she had essentially done the role last week. While Denim pretended she was excited to close the show selling modern Brooke. And Venus was feeling the pressure, but we know she is totally taking it, so who cares.

The dolls pivoted to the mainstage to meet Hollywood Jade and get the choreography down. And since Aurora got to dance alongside two ripped hotties, she slayed and lived for every moment. While Venus tried to hide her boner side of stage. Melinda meanwhile struggled with the counts, though I’m confident it is a fake out, given she had to fight for the role and mother will shine. Kiki had props and promptly struggled, while Nearah was perfect from the very beginning. And told Hollywood and the girls she could do something harder, should it be required. Venus meanwhile was busy stuck in her head as she struggled to stay still, like the roll required. And Denim was a mess. But she is cute and fun, so I feel like she will turn it out when the time comes.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls getting their blonde on as Aurora spoke about how the mini challenge was liberating, given she is quite reserved in her life. Talk obviously turned to sex, with Kiki getting dicked down once a day minimum, Venus proudly called herself a slut, while Melinda spoke about monogamy bing a construct, while Denim and Nearah spoke about finding their person and not wanting to share.

Brooke, Traci and Brad were joined by the iconic – finally – Countess Luann  – finally – as From Drags to Riches premiered and closed with Melinda straight up dressed like Megan. And it is iconic and an instant slay. As are the back-up dancers showing off midriff. Aurora’s ballet era number was stunning as she served pass around party bottom, Kiki had fun despite being a mess before Nearah arrived and absolutely demolished. Venus gave all the emotion and had the judges eating out of the palm of her hand before Denim closed the show having a ball, despite being a little muted.

On the Always a Bridesmaid runway Melinda was an absolute mess in a fluff of red, which is exactly what the assignment is, so I live. Aurora was stunning as a corpse bridesmaid, or as Luann said, Ramona. Kiki gave us granny bridesmaid and was having so much fun, Nearah served southern belle in peach, Venus was perfect as a bouquet flower while Denim gave garter glam. And it was so much fun.

The judges lived for Melinda fighting to be the youngest Brooke, as she ended up giving Baby Jane iconography in the role. But they wanted her to give more on the runway. Again. Aurora received wall to wall praise, from doing perfect pointe to giving a stunning runway that was outside the box. And gave Lu a chance to tell her elegance is learned, which is important, my friend. Kiki’s look was beloved, though she was read for so many missteps during the performance, despite not letting it get to her. Nearah too received a tonne of praise, though she was cautioned to give variety. Despite taking the last role and being stuck with it. Venus was praised for having the runway of the episode, and again to quote Lu, being cool and not uncool. Oh and they lived for a riveting performance. While Denim’s creative look received universal praise, though her performance in the rusical was way too subdued as the rest of the dolls joined her for the finale.

Backstage Denim and Kiki were confident they would be bottoming this evening, though for the latter, maybe that was because Kiki was ok if she had to lip sync until the end. Denim meanwhile was annoyed that she didn’t take the role she wanted. Melinda and Nearah meanwhile weren’t sure which of them would be joining them in the bottom three, given both of them were kinda sure they were tops giving they slayed with minimal issues. Despite the judges hating Melinda’s runway.

Ultimately Nearah and Venus were sent to safety as Aurora took out her second win of the season. At the other end of the pack, Melinda’s performance once again saved her as she was sent to safety, leaving Denim and Kiki to battle it out for the final slot to Seven Day Fool by Julie Black. And, well, both dolls turned a show, as Kiki felt her oats and Denim served cutsie sex bomb. Which proved to be enough as Denim was deemed safe, leaving Kiki to sadly sashay away.

As the iconic fashion designer arrived backstage, I pulled her in for an epic hug and assured her that despite not snatching the crown, she has literally given us multiple crowning looks that will live forever in herstory. And that, is kinda cooler. Plus, she still turned a fun performance and arguable won the lip sync, so going home as a robbed goddess is always a win. As is a big, warming bowl of Chickiki Coern Soup.

Sweet and hearty, this soup contains everything you could want on a cold winters night. The chicken melts in your mouth as the rich broth washes away all your problems. Almost like a savoury banana bread, you know?

Enjoy!

Chickiki Coern Soup
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, finely chopped
5 garlic cloves, minced
2 celery stalks, finely chopped
1 carrot, peeled and sliced into half-moons
1 leek, thinly sliced
2 chicken breasts, diced
5 cups chicken stock
1 cup macaroni
310g can creamed corn
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
1 cup baby spinach leaves, washed and sliced

Method
Pop a lug of oil in a stock pot over medium heat and saute the onion, garlic, celery, carrot and leek for about 5 minutes or until soft and sweet. Add the chicken and cook, stirring, for five minutes.

Pour in the stock, pasta and creamed corn, stir well and bring to a boil. Reduce to a simmer and cook, stirring infrequently for 15 minutes, or until the pasta is cooked. Season to taste.

Remove from the heat and stir through the spinach until wilted. Serve and devour, richly.


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Harissa Steaksie

Main, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race UK the dolls tried to masc it up and hock a new supplement, with Tomara’s filthiness jagging her a little win. A win that gave her the power to decide the trios who would each host disaster classes. Tomara wisely chose to work with Ginger and Michael, which led to the Geordie girls taking out their first wins of the season. At the other end of the pack Naomi was bland, while Banksie, Vicki and Cara just couldn’t get it together. That being said, Banksie was cute, despite her sisters hating her, so Cara rightly landed in the bottom with Naomi for being a total mess. Sadly for Miss Carter, however, Cara Cara’ed and demolished the lip sync and sent Naomi home. Thankfully with the best exit line ever.

Backstage the dolls were heartbroken to have lost Naomi, though grateful for the competition proceeding again given we’ve already had two non-elims. Banksie toasted her dear friend Naomi before Cara turned her attention to herself, reminding the dolls she is a force to be reckoned with and she was thrilled to prove it in the lip sync. Tomara got shady and asked Cara how it felt to land in the bottom, with her admitting it sucks but she still didn’t feel she was that bad. Ginger however, called bullshit and reminded her she sucked and that Ru agrees with her. And werk, Ginger, I love this confident, sassy side. Banksie meanwhile apologised for feuding with Vicki, with Vicki in turn apologising and ugh, I also love them all being so congenial. I guess.

The next day the Geordie’s were feeling their oats and I love to see it because I now have an epic crush on Ginger. Before Tomara could shoot charm all over the Werk Room, Ru dropped by to open the library because reading is what? Fundamental. Banksie was up first and eviscerated DeDe and slut shamed Vicki, DeDe was confident though not very fun, Michael was hilariously brutal – tinted windows on the incubator is a stunning read – Ginger slayed the house down with wordplay, Tomara had herself a ball, Vicki was horny, Cara was a total bomb before Kate was adorable, witty and oh so fun. Which was more than enough to finally jag her her first win, albeit a mini challenge.

Before departing, Ru announced that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would star in Panto-she-better-don’t: The Rusical. And since Kate won the mini challenge, she got to select her role while the rest of the dolls would have to get scrappy. The dolls grabbed their scripts and read through, living for the camp of it all. Kate jagged herself the lead of Twinkerbelle before Tomara grabbed Dick, Dame Muffin-Top went to DeDe, Vicki wanted the Milk Maid, Butterface went to Banksie before Cara and Ginger battled for Daisy the Cow before Ginger stepped aside. Well, until pointing out Cara and Tomara should share the pop diva roles, and as such, Ginger got her role and left Michael to take Dick off Tomara’s hands.

The dolls met up with Michelle Voice-age to get the songs down with Kate slaying, DeDe was an absolute mess but still, somehow, charming, while Banksie gave all the villain energy before Tomara had all the fun while Cara was there. And yeah, Tomara is winning this side by side. Michael and Vicki harmonised, eventually, before Ginger knocked it out of the park, while Cara sat on the sidelines simmering in jealousy. Michelle then traded out with Karen Hauer to work on the choreo before DeDe admitted to having never seen a musical, like an absolute fucking monster. Cara started to shine as she and Tomara killed all the moves, Banksie meanwhile was an absolute mess, Ginger served sex(y cow) and Michael and Vicki were even sexier. While Kate was living her best life.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone nervous as they split up to beat their mugs. Talk turned to pantos and how much they meant to the dolls, with Ginger opening up about how it was panto that made her want to be a drag queen. Banksie and Ginger meanwhile spoke about how they do drag storytime, with Ginger getting fired up about how hypocritical it is for people to support pantos but to not accept storytime, given it encourages openness and diversity and werk Ginger, you are an icon. She continued to earn my love, talking about how hard it is to work through the trauma of growing up in a closed world before Kate stepped in for a late-breaking win, saying she hates kids but would love to fight for the dolls’ ability to do storytime.

Ru, Michelle and Graham were joined on the panel by Cush Jumbo as the dolls debuted Panto-She-Better-Don’t: The Rusical. And it truly was glorious and camp. Kate was perfect as the demented fairy, Michael kept us fed, as Dick, DeDe, bless her, was having a lot of fun, Vicki was slutty and stupid in equal measure, Tomara and Cara were glorious as they served as divas while Ginger stole the show as the cow. She was camp, emotional and just glorious from start to finish, as she vamped all over the stage, before Banksie rocked out as she closed the show and um, they were all good?

Despite the runtime giving full Espana.

On the Mirror Mirror runway, Cara served sexy skank in Beyonce’s hand-me-downs, DeDe was on brand as a zombie Bloody Mary, Vicki gave blue-helmet biker, Banksie looked like a futuristic 80s supermodel, Tomara was perfection as a shiny robot, Kate was stunning in a foil blanket before revealing an 80s pop diva Phantom of the Opera, while Ginger gave, and I quote, Schiaparelli, holographic earthworm, while Michael gave mirror Mad Max and yeah, she is good. 

Cara and Tomara were deemed safe and sent to untuck before DeDe was read for being good, not great, despite her energy. And giving such a perfect runway. Ru pointed out that the panto was so good it would be splitting hairs tonight, with DeDe admitting she wished she had actually seen a panto before taking the role. Vicki was absolutely beloved in the performance, while Banksie was read for getting lost behind her nerves, when she really could have slayed. Kate was beloved for carrying the entire performance and they enjoyed her runway while Ginger received universal praise for each and every thing she gave this week, from chewing up the scenery and giving a stunning look that made the judges laugh so hard. While Michael was beloved, though sadly for her, just that little bit less than Ginger.

Backstage Carmara were disappointed to only be safe, regretting handed over their first choices to the other girls. Particularly when the tops and bottoms joined them and Ginger and Michael were clearly battling for the win. Banksie and DeDe were clear they would be lip syncing tonight, though got great critiques, so it kinda, sorta sucks. And while they all did great, Tomara admitted that if they have to have bottoms, it was definitely them. Vicki spoke about the win being between herself and Michael, while Kate and Ginger looked on quietly. Before sharing how beloved they were by the judges.

Ultimately Kate was deemed safe, as were Vicki and Michael as Ginger took out her second win of the season. Which she capped off with a thumbs up reveal from her iconic, armless gown. Leaving DeDe and Banksie to battle out for the last slot to SuBo’s I Dreamed a Dream. And hot damn, DeDe absolutely demolished, hitting every lyric and burning with drama, complete with air strings section. While Banksie tried her best giving an understated performance, DeDe felt it all and played it for the back of the theatre and the cheque cashing place down the street. So while we expected her to exit, she stole the final slot out from Banksie who gagged us by exiting so soon.

She followed the sound of my heaving, guttural sobs all the way back to the Werk Room where she pulled me in for a hug and assured me she was fine. I then realised that was my job, so started yelling at her before I realised what I was doing. I then took a deep breath and just told her how sad I was to see her go so soon, though I look forward to her rudemption arc on All Stars because she will get that rudemption, trust. And until then, she will always have a piping hot Harissa Steaksie.

Even if you’re not a massive steak fan, like me, this Antoni number will swiftly make you a believer. Spicy, sweet and melt in your mouth, the harissa cuts through the perfectly cooked steak – which I guess is on you – to make any meal a winner.

Enjoy!

Harissa Steaksie
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
90g unsalted butter, at room temperature
2 tsp Harissa Oleynik
¼ tsp lemon zest
⅛ tsp kosher salt, plus extra for seasoning
2 x 300g sirloin steaks
freshly ground black pepper
2 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil

Method
Pop the butter, harissa, zest and salt in a bowl and stir until well combined.

Season the steaks with salt and pepper, and heat the oil in a heavy based skillet over medium-high heat.

Add the steaks to the pain and cook for five minutes before flipping and cooking for a further five minutes, or until cooked to your required doneness.

Remove from the pan and allow it to rest for five minutes. Slice and top with butter before serving and devouring. Gloriously.


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