Previously on Australian Survivor the tribes switched things up leaving four Brains and Brawn as the minority on their new tribes. After finally clawing the majority back on OG Brains, Myles and Zara were particularly disheartened to be with Laura and Max, who weren’t exactly their closest people. Meanwhile after losing the immunity challenge the new Brawn majority were chaos; Rich wanted Logan gone, AJ was happy to join him, though not vote her out and Logan was just annoyed to be voting someone out. The OG Brawns were not much better as Ursula’s feud with Noonan created more chaos and when Ursula wouldn’t vote for anyone else, the two tribes had to join together to take out Rich instead. While Ursula fired a warning shot at Noonan, for reasons.
The next day the new Brains tribe were miserable as their terrible shelter got inundated by rain. Thankfully this introduced us to Ben, who finally arrived on screen in Episode 8 to bitch about how shitty it was, before leading the tribe to pull together an epic shelter so they can actually get some rest. As Myles chatted away with him rather than helping. He then went to Jesse to talk shit about Max playing chaotically at their final OG Brains tribal council, and just giving them all the intel. Leading to Zara pulling Myles aside to beg him to stop flapping his gums and give them some secrecy so they could find a crack in the Brawns. As the girls seemingly came together over his madness.
Over at the Brawn, Kaelan was living his best life, living in warm, dry, luxury. AJ too was loving himself sick, given he got rid of Rich and won the hearts and minds of many. The one wrinkle being that Ursula is still there, but totally miserable. He pulled Kristin aside for a chat to figure out what she was thinking, with her pledging her undying loyalty, suggesting they need to get rid of Paulie as he is the actual threat. And ugh, I want to stan her, but don’t come for my Paulie. We then got a close-up on Kaelan’s nips as Noonan tried to make conversation with Ursula who promptly shut her down as they sat in silence. Knowing she and Paulie could be in danger, Noonan pulled AJ aside to gauge how he was feeling, with him obviously suggesting they get rid of Ursula ASAP. And that the two of them and Paulie will be the best of friends once they merge.
But realistically, AJ has all the power.
JLP made his triumphant return for the next immunity challenge, where they would hold onto numbered pegs dotted along the wall, while two people from the rival tribe would toss sandbags at numbered coconuts to remove the corresponding pegs. Brains knocked out a couple in their first round, while Brawn got none. Another three pegs dropped for Brains in the next round, while Brawn got nothing. Again. Brains knocked another two in the next round before Brawn finally got the single peg Zara was standing on, and took one out from Kate. Finally, it became a showdown as AJ’s strategy to focus on the footholds knocked Zara off the wall. Karin soon followed, as did Myles and Kaelan, tying things up. It was at this point, AJ suggested the Brains should just throw the challenge, given they have the numbers advantage, while Brawn is tied up and anything could happen if they go back to tribal council. Jesse and Ursula then dropped, as did Kristin and Logan leaving Paulie as the only hope, literally hanging there like Jesus. Until he was literally hanging on by a single peg for two rounds before he finally dropped, handing Brains immunity.
Back at camp AJ was positively buzzing for the vote ahead, pulling Karin aside to see what she was thinking, with the duo feeling they needed to split the rival duo of Paulie and Noonan up with the former being the bigger threat, rather than Noonan. That being said, AJ also wanted to get rid of Ursula ASAP, as she is immovable which is even more annoying to work around. AJ explained that keeping Paulie and Noonan around will also spook the OG Brawns over at Brains into thinking they’re hostages and trick them into throwing some challenges. As AJ locked in Paulie and Noonan to vote with them to get rid of Ursula, Karin tried to woo Kaelan who put his foot down and said that Paulie is the one they need to deal with as Ursula will always upset someone, while Paulie is likeable. And since Logan was also in to take out a threat – noooooo – they just needed to convince AJ.
After Karin found a maggot in her food, we followed Paulie as he tried to convince Ursula that they can take control if she and Noonan stop coming for each other. As Ursula used the age-old excuse for targeting Noonan, being that Noonan came for her first. Noonan and Kristin joined in, with the OG Brawn agreeing to put it all to rest and convince the Brains to split their votes, so they can load their votes on Karin and boot her instead. With Ursula and Noonan apparently united, it was Noonan that flipped first, going to Karin and Logan to throw Ursula under the bus as the mastermind. And while it is suss, it could keep Paulie safe and as such, I stan. Karin, AJ and Logan caught up with Kristin and Paulie, with OG Brawn denying ever hearing about said plan. AJ obviously saw right through it, knowing the plan clearly came from Paulie. While Kristin told Ursula what Noonan did, instantly ending the truce. For good.
The OG Brains tried to make a decision who to get out as Noonan dropped by to find out what they were planning, leading to Ursula dropping by and blocking her from making any inroads. The Brains were worried that Ursula’s unpredictability was more dangerous than Paulie’s likeability, so locked in the plan and thankfully decided to keep Paulie. Just as he dropped by to check if he should be worried. AJ then went to each Brawn duo to tell them the Brains were split in their decision, so they would be able to decide who to vote for at tribal council. He then straight up clocked one of Noonan or Paulie had an idol, and told them if they did have one, he would signal for them to play it if needed.
At tribal council AJ said that the old tribes are dead to him, though his plan was to create the optics of hostages in the OG Brawn to force the new Brains tribe to throw challenges. This was a surprise to his allies, as Kaelan suggested he just wanted to win some challenges, while Karin shut it down, wanting to make friends rather than force people into being friends in a non-consensual way. Paulie meanwhile was keen to play hostage for AJ, if it saves him, while Ursula had no intention of playing hostage and doesn’t see any of the Brawn throwing a challenge. Ever. Karin meanwhile pointed out that they may have to throw challenges, though, if they want an advantage at the merge.
With that the tribe voted, Paulie held onto his idol despite a look from AJ, and everyone except Kristin came together to boot Ursula from the game. As Ursula arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled her in for a massive hug and applaud her on navigating her feud with Noonan as long as she could. I mean, sure, both of them could have not been petty and worked together for their own goods, but you see, I’ve known Urusla for years as she went to school with my cousin. And I was the one that taught her everything I know about pettiness. As such, it was kinda my fault, so I glossed over it as we shared a comforting Lemon Chicken Orzula Rose.
Lemon, parmesan and chicken are kind of like the holy trinity of flavours. And this gloriously tart orzo paired with this crispy, classier version of a chicken shnitty just proves it.
Enjoy!
Lemon Chicken Orzula Rose Serves: 4.
Ingredients ¾ cup flour ¾ tsp kosher salt 1 tsp freshly cracked black pepper 2 eggs 1 cup panko breadcrumbs ½ tsp garlic powder 1 cup parmesan cheese, grated 2 chicken breasts, sliced in half horizontally olive oil 1 tbsp butter 6 spring onions, sliced 6 garlic cloves, minced 1 cup orzo 2 cups chicken stock 1 lemon, zested and juiced ¼ cup double cream
Method Preheat the oven to 160C.
Combine the flour in a shallow bowl with half a teaspoon each of the kosher salt and black pepper. In another, whisk the 2 eggs, and another, combine the breadcrumbs, garlic powder and three quarters of a cup of the parmesan.
Dredge the chicken in the flour, then dip in the egg before coating in the cheesy breadcrumbs. Pop on a lined plate and repeat until the schnitzels are prepped.
Heat a good lug of olive oil in a large frying pan over medium heat. Once nice and hot, add the chicken and cook for 5 minutes, before flipping and cooking for a further five minutes. Pop on a lined baking sheet and place in the oven to keep warm.
Pop a lug of olive oil and butter in a large skillet over medium heat. Once melted and foamy, add the spring onions and garlic and cook for a minute before adding the rest of the pepper. Mix in the orzo and cook for another couple of minutes, before stirring in the stock and bring to the boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer, stirring frequently, for about 15 minutes or until cooked through.
Remove from the heat and stir in the lemon zest and juice, remaining parmesan and double cream until the cheese has melted.
Serve immediately, dividing the orzo between four bowls and topping with a piece of chicken. Before devouring, greedily.
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Previously on Australian Survivor AJ became public enemy number one at the Brains after his failed attempt at getting rid of Logan. Unlike the poker players that came before him, however, he didn’t lay down and die. Instead, he went to Rich to let him know that Logan was actually out for him, inspiring him to take charge and lead a rival, all male alliance. All that set up was for nothing – yet – as the Brawns went on a losing streak, in no small part thanks to the golden foot of pole dancing king Myles. Knowing he was in danger, Nash pretended to find an idol right in front of Paulie in the hopes of scaring up a split vote he could take advantage of. Sadly for him, his social game wasn’t as on point as he thought, leasing to the tribe calling his bluff, sending him home and freeing us of the other, obnoxious camera hog.
The next day the Brawn tribe were as gloriously harmonious as the Brains were after booting Kent. Everyone was well slept and vibing by the fire, and even people that weren’t getting along previously, were getting along and living their best lives. Not everything was roses though, specifically Ben, who admitted that he stank. And Ursula was super salty to have had her name written down a second time. She and Noonan caught up to clear the air, with Noonan assuring her that she doesn’t intend to vote for her again and that she was only copping votes because of Nash. But trust and believe Ursula was not convinced, and she still intended to come for her at the first available opportunity.
We checked in on the Brains where we finally heard from Zara as the tribe were once again fireless and hungry. Because the boys miscalculated their rations. As Ally threatened to kill them all with the machete, we learnt that Zara is a luxe queen and ugh, I knew I loved her for a reason. The second one being that she hates Rich. She caught up with Karin to talk it out, realising that Laura and Logan were protecting him and as such, suggested that if they don’t get on board at the next tribal council, the Coven is over. AJ meanwhile was feeling great about his place in the tribe despite his faux pas, and was now going to lay low and let Ally bury herself given she has such a big mouth. While he was sulking by the ocean, Ally complained about him ignoring her, while Zara explained that he is clearly annoyed that she threw him under the bus. Despite briefly considering apologising to him, she started to berate him for being immature and told him she wanted to remember him more fondly once he was gone, so he should just get in line and smile. He then laughed to us about the fact that he actually had a good bond with Myles and Kaelen, and along with the other boys were planning to take a shot at the girls, so he isn’t down and out yet. Nor are the Brains, as they finally built a roaring fire.
Jonathan arrived for the reward challenge where the tribes would jump into a pool of mud, cover themselves in it and carry it down a path to fill a crate. They would then pull said crate to the end of the path before forming mud balls and using them to knock over targets. And given it was for an epic trip to the Survivor spa, everyone had a laser focus. Kalaen and Max got out to an early lead for the Brains, but the Brawns were wearing more clothes and were able to use it as a scoop, dumping in huge load after huge load. Of mud, that is. The Brawn tribe had a hefty lead to start forming and tossing balls, while the Brains desperately tried to close the gap. Sadly nowhere near quickly enough, as PD secured reward for their tribe. And ideally give us a gorgeous Paulie nude scene. Hopefully. Before sending the Brawn tribe away, JLP told them to pick someone to join them and while Logan was literally in tears wanting some glam, they selected Ally to join them given she wanted to give them the snags yesterday.
And just like that, Ally, Logan is coming for you.
Brawn + Ally arrived at the spa, quickly sitting down to their meal and pouring champagne, as Ally thanked them for their kindness and got to know them. Kristin casually tried to fish for intel before Ally went all in oversharing. She started with shading Myles and Kent, before straight up telling literally the tribe who to watch out for and outlining every single alliance and Ally, you’re an absolute moron. Goodbye, I can’t wait for Logan to take her revenge. Oh and we didn’t even get Paulie naked because of her stupidity, so boo.
Back with the Brains, the tribe were far more demure as they washed off in the ocean, assuring themselves that Ally is smart enough to keep her mouth shut and be sensible. And ugh, I wish. AJ meanwhile was growing more and more nervous that Rich and Max’s chaotic energy will blow up his game, and as such, went hunting for an idol. Wanting to protect themselves, Zara, Logan and Karin joined him on the hunt in the hope that they would find it first. Sadly for them, they were not quick enough as he snatched it out from under them and gave him the hope he was looking for.
The tribes reunited with JLP for the immunity challenge where they would race to build a fire on a see saw while the rest of the tribe would build a cube to release a key, use the key to unlock a net and then use that to transport coconuts to a platform which they would use to toss them into a bucket to weigh down the see saw and light a flag with the fire. Well, not until after the Brawn tribe heavily implied Ally had the loosest of loose lips. After throwing her under the bus, the Brains whipped through the puzzle and got out to a massive lead, releasing their nut sack – JLP’s words – and lining up their coconuts, as Laura and Ally struggled to make fire. While Brawn’s fire was roaring, the tribe managed to close the gap and started tossing their nuts. While Ally and Laura continued to not even get a spark. Meaning Brawn easily took out victory and sent Brains back to tribal council.
Back at camp the boys were all well and truly pissed with Ally and Laura for choking, quickly locking in a plan to take a strike at one of the girls before the alliance could actually jag the numbers. Specifically they would blindside Ally for her presumed loose lips, bossing everyone around and most annoyingly, screwing up the challenge. Zara and Karin, meanwhile, were hyper focused on getting rid of Rich. The challenge being making sure all the girls were onboard with the plan. Laura continued to defend Rich which frustrated Zara and Karin, while Laura told them they were being illogical and emotional, rather than listening to them. Zara calmly explained why they’re so focused on him and that they’re sick of always talking about Rich, but not actually being allowed to take a shot because of Laura always getting her way. With Logan and Laura still wanting to save Rich, our good witch approached him to let him know that he was the girls’ target. Rich wisely pointed out the boys were voting for Ally and as such, she could easily just join them to get rid of her with them.
Zara and Karin checked in to make sure Ally was actually still wanting to get rid of Rich. They all agreed it was likely that Laura will stay with them, despite not being happy about it, so they should hold firm. Ally went to coach AJ once again, lecturing him about the fact he is likely safe but that he will exit soon after. She then told him that one wrong vote would get rid of him, so he should be extra careful tonight. As he laughed to us about the fact that Ally clearly has no idea about her surroundings and how much people want her gone. Zara tried to check in with Laura and Logan, and while Logan was keen to smooth things over, Laura ran off angrily. Sensing the alliance may not have much life, Zara and Karin went to find new allies, with Zara quickly pulling in Myles to take out Rich and form a meaningful, collaborative alliance.
Myles then went to AJ to pull him over to their side, as AJ shared that he was a little worried about Zara and Karin being too stubborn. Which feels like a false narrative from Laura, but whatever. Thankfully his trust in Myles proved stronger than his desire to get rid of Ally, so he locked in with them. Karin once again tried to make sure Laura was on board with them, who assured them she was. Zara and Ally then joined them with the latter thinking she made a killer move on the previous reward, telling everyone she assured the Brawns they could trust the girls. And that all of their alliances were locked and loaded, particularly the all girls one, which again is stupid. As is telling the girls about said stupidity.
At tribal council AJ spoke about how tribal council will finally draw a line in the sand for the tribe, given the last votes were pretty easy. Ally said that all the alliances were pretty solid, though the votes should confirm them, yes. Zara spoke about the challenge of needing to have alliances that operate as a democracy, with Logan agreeing that the vote should be pretty straightforward whether she is happy about it or not. Rich admitted he was nervous, given this vote is far less obvious than the last ones. But trust, he isn’t keen on going. Laura meanwhile shared this is one of the most pivotal votes, to her. AJ referenced his alliance, talking about wanting to find loyal people to go to the end with. A bomb squad if you will. This spooked the girls, who seemed to clock the name, with Ally obviously very vocal about being concerned about AJ.
JLP promptly announced that we’re in for a very different tribal council tonight and that instead of voting someone out of the game, they would be voting someone out of the tribe and over to Brawn. With a little scroll they would only be able to read after they left. AJ immediately volunteered to switch tribes, which Laura shut down just as quickly. Ally too was keen to go, no doubt because she told them everything about the tribe and she believed she would be in charge. She then had the nerve to say that AJ runs his mouth too much, and lol. AJ said he wanted to go because it is likely a clue to an idol and as such, he can use it to survive another night. Rich too offered himself up, leading to the girls having a group meeting to chat through the merits. After landing on Rich, they joined Rich and the boys who all locked in the vote as Ally tactlessly told AJ majority will rule and he has no say. With that the tribe voted and as expected Rich was sent packing with a Brawn buff in one hand, and the scroll in the other. As soon as the tribe exited tribal council, he pulled open the scroll where he learnt he had won safety without power for two people at the next tribal council. No matter which tribe goes to tribal council.
We checked in with the new Brawn tribe the next day where Rich was vibing, thrilled to be living in a superior camp, complete with a fire. He reassured them that he is definitely part of the tribe and won’t be going back Kelli style. And while everyone was thrilled to have a new person to hang out with, trust and believe Noonan was happy to get rid of him at the first opportunity. If he doesn’t get sent back to Brains before the next tribal council, that is. Unaware that if she pulls a Nash, he will be able to save himself and another person. Worried that his job may be to sabotage them at the next immunity challenge, they decided it was smartest to sit him out of the next immunity challenge, just to be safe.
We checked in with the Brains tribe where everyone was living for the new zen mood. Well, everyone but Karin, who was annoyed that Rich managed to survive, despite her wanting him gone, given he was the cause of division within the coven. She realised that Laura and Logan were too emotional and reactionary for her liking, so got to work locking in a more zen alliance. She and Zara caught up with Myles, who floated the idea of them working together with him and AJ for more than just taking out Ally. With the girls catching up privately to lock it all in as their main alliance. Laura and Logan meanwhile caught up to lament their losses at tribal council, though felt they played it all perfectly and that Zara didn’t. And as such, they wanted to target her. Even though they literally got their way every tribal council until the Rich vote. Logan and Laura, on the other hand, were planning to work with Max and Kaelan to take control. Logan approached Max with the idea, who was obviously thrilled, as they quickly locked in the vote against AJ. And while it looks like we’re locked in 4-4, Kaelan appears to spend more time with AJ and Myles, so it feels like we’re being sold more of an even playing field than there actually is, no?
JLP returned for the latest reward challenge where the tribes would face off in a game of Sumo at Sea. With the victors getting a little interior design pack from Ikea, including cushions and rugs. First to face off were Myles and Zaddy Paulie, with my king making quick work of our pole dancing king. Noonan and Ally were up next, with Noonan too, making quick work of the Brain. Ursula and Karin, meanwhile, gave us a legit battle as neither woman was willing to give an inch. While locked in battle for 20 minutes, Karin told Ursula to not trust Rich under any circumstances and ugh, I love it. Sadly, it ended in a draw for both of them and while it was iconic, the challenge continued. This time, in duos to speed things up. Max and Kaelan then faced off against Rich and PD, with the Brawns snagging victory after Max dropped almost instantly.
We followed the victors back to camp where Kristin rejoiced to have a little comfort in her life. They then discovered tea, coffee and biscuits, and letters from home hidden at the base of their haul. Everyone poured a drink before reading their letters one at a time, as the tribe descended into tears. None more than Paulie, who’s dad literally called him a hero for surviving the bullying he went through at school and wrote that he is so proud of him for not just overcoming but thriving. We then learnt a little more about Zaddy Paulie and ugh, I love him so damn much. Give him the win right now, you cowards!
Over at the Brains tribe, the new alliances were busy locking things in as Zara requested Myles come up with a name ASAP today. Well, after locking in his closest ally AJ, that is. AJ thankfully was keen to work with the girls, given they give him good vibes. Not wanting to rest on his laurels, Myles decided he would even potentially loop in the other girls to get rid of Max too. Worst case, though, they needed to get Kaelan on board and while he doesn’t talk much strategy, Myles was confident he would work with him, given he warned him that Kent was out to get him. Kaelan and Myles caught up at the well, thrilled to work with Karin and Zara to get rid of Max. Sadly for them, Ally, ugh, was wandering around the jungle and overheard the conversation, so immediately took the information back to Max. Who was, in a word, livid. While Max gloated to us about having an army behind him, before straight up telling Myles he is watching him.
My love JLP returned for the latest immunity challenge where the tribes would race to swim out and collect a wooden grid before climbing up a slide to retrieve puzzle pieces and then solve the aforementioned puzzle. After Rich was forced to the sit out bench, the tribes were whisked out to the ocean to commence their swim, with the Brawns getting out to the tiniest of leads before Brains overtook them at the shore. After setting up their grids, the Brawns took back the lead as Rich tried to whisper to his bestie Max to throw the challenge as he has a massive advantage for him to use. Whether the Brains intended to throw it or not, the Brawn tribe continued to pull ahead giving Noonan and Morgan a decent advantage at the puzzle. As Myles and Logan diligently worked to close the gap, Rich kept muttering bomb squad to Max despite him having nothing to do with the success or otherwise of the challenge. Both tribes got stuck until Logan thought she had it, only to be wrong. Thankfully after Noonan figured it out, Brains almost snatched the win out from under them, until Myles dropped a tile and sent them back to tribal council.
Before returning to camp, Rich passed off the advantage to Max, giving him the express instruction to save Logan. And then muttered bomb squad multiple more times for dramatic effect. On the way back to camp, AJ whispered to Karin that he saw Rich hand over an advantage, while Ally too was terrified, given she heard him telling Max to continue their work. Which she took to mean the boys’ alliance, not his one with Logan and Laura.
Back at camp things got pretty chaotic pretty quickly, as Max summound everyone to tell them about the advantage, given everyone saw it go down anyway. He then went full Ally, sharing that Rich told him to use it to secure the alliance of boys, but he has a bigger issue he wants to deal with by taking out Myles. And to make sure he gets it done, he is going to exit tribal council with AJ, which is literally the worst decision he could make as then he can’t even vote him out. It also pissed off Logan, who thought they were aligned and the plan was to get rid of AJ, so making him immune means he has crossed her. AJ, Karin, Zara and Myles got together to figure a way out of the mess, with the girls happy to get rid of Ally given she is immovable but also runs her mouth at the drop of a hat. Plus, they think Kaelan will be thrilled to get rid of any woman, so it will be easy to get him on board.
Oh and Myles named themselves the graduates, because they’re above the high school drama. But Zara pointed out they also have the most degrees, so it makes sense for multiple reasons. After Myles pulled Kaelan into the alliance, he then caught up with Max, Logan and Laura where Max became the second person to pitch an Ally blindside to him in as many minutes. And while he thought their alliance was solid once more, the girls were pissed about the thought of getting rid of Ally. Instead, Laura now wanted to take out Zara. Presumably for reasons other than the fact Zara shops at Hermes and she is a witch. Which is now a read, given she is coming for Zara, when I would traditionally stan a witch on Survivor.
Laura’s logic was that Zara is too emotional and not logical, even though it seems like she is having quite the emotional response. Max caught up with the girls, with him completely fine with Zara going home. And to get it done, he was now planning to send Karin and Myles away from tribal council. Laura floated the plan with Kaelan and while he pretended to be onboard with the plan, he admitted to us that he is sick of being thought of as someone else’s number and as such, he was ready to make the decision that was best for him. Zara and Karin meanwhile realised something was up and that the girls were well and truly ready to put an end to the coven. So worried about Max and the advantage ruining their plans. Logan too knew Max was chaotic and his behaviour could screw things up for lots of people, and as such, vowed to just vote for whoever he wants at tribal council. As she begged him to just make a decision and stick with it, essentially. While he was just overjoyed to be the centre of attention.
At tribal council Laura spoke about the tribe being far more relaxed with Rich gone, despite being on edge. Logan admitted that Rich still looms large over the tribe given he handed Max an advantage. Very loudly, in front of everyone, AJ confirmed. Max then continued to showboat talking about how powerful he is and that he is looking forward to having some fun. He then handed the scroll over to JLP immediately with Zara talking about the fact they have plans for tribal council, but they need to see what Max actually does with the advantage before they know what they can actually pull off. Ally was confident Max would do what is best for the tribe – ugh – while Logan was worried that he would make a decision for the drama, rather than strategy and that frankly, she wished it was up to her instead.
Max then continued to be infuriating, talking about being at war with Myles because he is a snickering jungle rat. And that he would love to use the advantage to get his revenge (Side note, while calling Myles a rat seems super problematic, Myles has assured us on social that Max asked him permission before calling him any names). While Myles reiterated that the one thing about rats is that they survive. Zara suggested that Max seems to be playing emotionally, rather than strategically. He then got smarmy, talking about thinking he has something special tonight and as such, he wants to look after his alliance. While Karin told him to stop playing schoolyard games and send the damn people away.
Finally he was forced to play his advantage, sending Laura and Karin out of tribal council which is a combination that literally shocked each and every person. None more so than Logan, who was completely pissed at Max and damn, Max, you’re in danger, girl. Logan and Zara then appeared to reconnect, as Max told all the girls to vote for Myles. While Max gloated about being super confident he knows exactly what is going to happen and he is thrilled to be safe, despite being left at tribal council. With that the tribe voted and while Max was safe, he didn’t get his way, as he and Ally were gagged to see her booted from the game.
As soon as Ally arrived at Loser Lodge, she pulled me aside to let me know about the state of every relationship back at camp. In addition, she lectured me on how badly AJ had been playing that game. And while I wanted to scream, I had to admire her consistency, so pulled her in for a hug, thanked her for the comedy and celebrated her short run with a batch of Buffally Chicks in Blankettle.
Pigs in Blankets and buffalo chicken are two of my favourite things, so it is an absolute no brainer to combine them. The comfort of the sausages and flaky pastry are perfectly offset with the little bit of zing from the hot sauce. And frankly, it is perfection.
Enjoy!
Buffally Chicks in Blankettle Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 sheets puff pastry, defrosted ¼ cup Frank’s RedHot, plus extra for serving ½ tsp garlic powder ½ tsp onion powder ½ tsp paprika 16 chicken chipolatas 2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted Blue Cheese Dressing, to serve
Method Preheat the oven to 180C.
Cut each sheet of pastry into squares, and then the squares in triangles. Like the superior primary school sandwich cut. Brush pastry with half the hot sauce and sprinkle with the garlic and onion powders, and the paprika.
Working one at a time, wrap the sausages in a triangle of pastry and transfer to a lined baking sheet, seam side down. Combine the melted butter with the remaining hot sauce and brush over the pastries.
Pop them in the oven to bake for 20 minutes, or until golden and crisp. Serve immediately drizzled with extra hot sauce and a vat of blue cheese dressing. Before devouring greedily, but also in a way that felt like you were lecturing someone.
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Previously on Australian Survivor everything was on the up and up for the Brawns after winning their first immunity challenge. After a little scene with Zen talking about his hunger, the tribes arrived at the reward challenge where JLP announced that despite it only being episode three, it is a doozy. Eleven individual bowls of fries, ready for the loading. The Brawn tribe dominated the challenge 5-0, however Zen appeared to do something with his hand while wrestling Kaelan. Back at camp, Paulie found a clue to the hidden immunity idol in his bowl, so quickly went hunting while the rest of the tribe went swimming. It was then that Zen realised his hand had doubled in size. We then fast forwarded to the immunity challenge where both tribes were gagged to see him return from medical leave with a cast on his hand due to a badly broken finger, which sadly meant he was being pulled from the game.
As everyone wiped away their tears, we did a hard pivot and turned our attention back to the immunity challenge where they would race over a series of obstacles to collect rope and bamboo. They would then use said rope and bamboo to fashion a big ol’ stick to knock a bottle off a shelf to release a key. Next, they would use said key to unlock coconuts and then use said coconuts to knock out tiles. On the first obstacle Kent almost became the second medevac as he took a hard fall on his head. Both tribes were neck and neck – no pun intended – with Kent working at a feverish pace, clearly knowing his terrible game hasn’t made him many friends. Brawns started to pull away as the Brains descended into chaos, with Rich barking orders and annoying the hell out of all the women. Somehow things got closer with both tribes shooting coconuts, as Kent proved himself valuable to the Brains knocking tile after tile. Just sadly not as quickly as Ben for the Brawns, who secured their second immunity challenge.
Back at camp Kent immediately got back to work targeting Myles, lecturing him in front of the tribe, which only made him more dislikable. As such, the dolls rightly got to work locking in a plan against Kent instead, and immediately looped in Myles. After assuring him to not worry about any other plan he hears. The Coven joined the rest of the tribe to lock in the Kent plan, which frustrated AJ, who felt it was a waste of time given he will always be a target. But given AJ is literally wearing a different outfit in his confessional, I think he will be on the wrong side of the vote tonight.
AJ pulled Myles aside to float a plan to get rid of Logan instead, given she is popular, likeable and influential. Like Shonee, remember. With Myles apparently open to it, AJ went to Kaelan before finding a potential woman to flip to his side. Deciding Ally was the most likely to jump, he checked in with her and while she was open to it, he didn’t actually name names. Sadly she went straight to Logan assuming his plan was Rich, and floated getting rid of him instead. Which Logan, obviously, was 100% fine with. She then ran the plan past Laura, unaware that she was really the plan. While Laura tried to talk her out of it, she doubled down on hating Rich so much that getting rid of him would be best for her mental health. They then hilariously caught up with AJ, who had to pretend the plan was still Kent.
AJ finally pulled Ally and Max aside, who were gagged to learn that Logan was his actual target and as such, pulled the pin in the plan and went back to getting rid of Kent. As Ally assured him she is fine to get rid of Logan, just not yet. Despite AJ begging Ally to not say anything, she immediately took the information back to Logan, who was rightly pissed and looped in Laura, begging her to flip the vote on AJ and send him home instead. Which is 100% what would happen to a poker player, no?
We finally ventured to tribal council where Kent spoke about how much easier this tribal council will be compared to their first. Logan admitted she has an idea of who is potentially aligned, but still isn’t confident in knowing who to trust. Myles spoke about being a free agent and just wanting to prove himself as such to downplay the perception that he is playing too hard. Rich shared that there are multiple people on the block tonight, with Logan coyly pointing out someone may not even know they’re on the block. As she whispered to Laura about how much she wants to see AJ go. Kent then spoke about having an exceptional read on the situation and felt it was unlikely he was being blindsided. AJ spoke about the fear of making the wrong move and not getting your target out. Which Logan laughed about, admitting she is struggling to decide whether to go for instant gratification of getting someone out or planning three steps ahead. While Laura tried to caution everyone to think their moves out carefully.
With that, obviously, the tribe voted – Kent even more obviously for Myles – before the tribe stuck to the original plan and the votes piled up on Kent. Much to his shock and the utter jubilation of everyone at home. None more so than me. As Kent arrived at Loser Lodge, however, he was actually kind of sweet, so instead, I commiserated with him about his loss. Because as a super fan, that is one thing I can relate to. As such, I toasted him living out his dream, however short it may have lasted, with a gorgeously rich Kent Miller-Feuillendle.
Like the man himself, this little treat is oh so rich. But in this instance, it is a good thing. The custard is velvety and smooth, the pastry is crisp and light, creating the perfect quick and easy dessert. Only because this is a cheats version, obviously.
Enjoy!
Kent Miller-Feuillendle Serves: 8.
Ingredients 1 tbsp custard powder 1 cup milk, plus extra for glazin’ 1 tbsp raw caster sugar 1 tbsp vanilla extract 1 ½ sheets puff pastry, thawed ⅔ cup thickened cream 1 cup icing sugar 2 tsp glucose syrup 2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted 1 tbsp cocoa powder
Method Preheat the oven to 200°C.
Combine the custard powder and a quarter of the milk in a saucepan until well combined. Whisk in the sugar, vanilla and remaining milk and cook over medium heat for about five minutes, or until the custard thickens. Remove from the heat and transfer to a bowl, covering with a piece of cling film directly touching the surface and chill for a couple of hours for an hour or so.
While the custard is chilling, place the pastry on a lined baking sheet and top with a second piece of baking paper, followed by a second baking tray, and bake for 20 minutes. Remove the top trays and bake for a further five minutes, or until golden and crisp. Transfer to a wire rack and allow to cool completely.
To make the glaze, whisk the icing sugar, glucose and melted butter in a bowl with a little bit of milk, one tablespoon at a time, until you have a thick but pourable glaze. Remove a quarter of the glaze to another bowl and whisk in the cocoa.
When you’re almost ready to start assembling, whisk the cream until stiff peaks form and fold it through the custard mixture. Cut the pastry in half using a serrated knife and place one piece on a platter. Spread with half the custard cream, top with another sheet of pastry and the remaining cream before topping with the last piece of pastry. Pour over the white glaze, spreading evenly with a spatula. Drizzle lines of chocolate glaze lengthwise along the strip, before using a skewer or toothpick to create a pattern.
Pop in the fridge to set before devouring, greedily, thinking about burning the hats of teachers.
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Previously on Australian Survivor after starting the game strong, the Brawns took a backseat in the challenges before finally jagging a second win, this one for immunity, after Nash finally stopped trying to play the hero. With the Brains now forced to scramble, Kent got to targeting Myles in earnest, while the Coven hoped to take control and get rid of Rich instead. Indy, sadly, felt she was included in the alliance too late, so instead ran to Rich to let him know about the plan. Which led to even more, unnecessary chaos. At tribal council, Kent admitted to burning Max’s hat, before still trying to get rid of Myles, despite rendering his argument about Myles moot given he never burned the hat. Luckily for him, Indy misplayed it way worse and went from an easy vote with the girls to a quick ticket out of the game and back home.
We checked in with the Brawn tribe where Nash had decided he was wasting away despite it only being a week. Zen opened up about being angry about how much of a flop their meals had been. Meaning they’re totally winning a hearty meal at the next reward, right? Or is he busy coming for my gig with a rice and beans cookbook?
Back with the Brains, Kent was busy barking orders and acting like he is in charge of the tribe, while the rest of them bitched and moaned – rightly – about how much they hated his attitude. Logan lamented how annoying it was to see Indy ruin their majority, so pulled the Coven aside to figure a way to claw it back and free themselves of Kent. Oh, we also learnt about her life as a WAG and yeah, I am stanning Shonee 2.0. Zara meanwhile brought up Rich as their backup option and while he also annoys me, Kent is the worst. And when Max joined them to specifically beg them to get rid of, and I quote Max here, the little hobbit man, it seemed like a done deal for Kent.
So what could fuck this up? AJ. AJ, who I was just about to say was oddly hot, until he suggested he needed to keep Kent safe and take advantage of the girls being in the minority for a round or two. He went man to man to point out that the girls have been talking a lot of strategy together and as such, they needed to focus on them first. And as a poker player, he would know, apparently. Despite poker players historically doing terribly at the game.
The tribes met up with JLP for the latest reward challenge where they would face off 1 on 1 by racing over a floating net to collect a flag from the rival platform before their opponent. And TBH, given the winners would get loaded fries, I would literally give up my first born. The first battle was between Ally and Ursula with the latter making quick work of getting the Brawns out in front. Ben versus Rich was as equally disappointing as Rich fell flat on his face, handing Brawns another win. Followed by PD quickly besting Max, before Kaelan finally gave Zen a run for his money before he too jagged the Brawns yet another point. Though not without a close up on his hand and crunching sound, which feels very ominous. Karin then fought valiantly to save it for the Brains, before Noonan proved too strong, powered through and scored reward for the team.
Back at camp the Brawns were overwhelmed by the sight of their individual bowls of hot chips along with a literal buffet of toppings for loading. After they loaded them sky high, they sat down to smash their food before Zaddy Paulie discovered a map painted on his napkin. After stuffing it into his crotch – oh to be a napkin – Noonan started hunting around the reward table to see if she could find a clue, knowing that there should be something hidden amongst it. Paulie meanwhile was excited to try and figure out a way to sneak off from camp without being noticed, given he doesn’t get to do anything sneaky in the real world as an ambo. Being a King, he suggested he needed to find some sun to hang his jumper, so wandered off by himself to see if he could jag it.
While he was camply wandering around to find the perfect patch of sun for his jungle washing line, he was rewarded for being focused on the game with a big, fat immunity idol. While while the rest of the tribe had a breath holding contest in the shallows. Except for Noonan, who quickly figured out that he had found a clue so sidled up to him to confirm it. And while he tried to lie, he quickly admitted that he found the clue, though not an idol. Meanwhile in the ocean, Zen realised his hand was now double its size after the challenge and began to worry that he did something to it.
We fast forwarded a day to reunite with JLP for the immunity challenge where both tribes were gagged to see Zen return from medical leave with a full plaster cast on his arm. This immediately upset Kaelan, who ran to hug him and apologise for hurting him. I was then completely shocked to learn that Zen was being pulled from the game and well, shit, I was just growing to unashamedly love him. Everyone started to cry, pulling him in for a hug and talking about how heartbroken they are to see him go. And the only thing as sad as watching him trying to hold it together while talking about being strong, was seeing how guilty Kaelan was feeling.
As he wandered away from the challenge and the game, I pulled him in for a hug and told him how heartbreaking it was to see him be medevaced. Though hopefully he will follow in the footsteps of Nina and come back triumphantly, rather than Ross and Jackie, who tragically never got their rudemption. Sorry, redemption. Thankfully, he has way more resilience than I do, happily smashing a Chip and Chickzen Santon and heading on his way.
So yeah, this is a pretty quick and dirty recipe, but we were surprised to see Zen go so soon. But just because something is super easy, doesn’t mean it isn’t delicious. I mean, fried chicken and crisps on a sando? Sign. Me. Up.
Previously on Drag Race, hang on, hold the phone Mabel – where have we been?! We missed Nymphia snag a crown on the mothership and *checks notes/the edit* Lemon get her non-Ru rudemption on Canada vs the World 2, but we’re back for a farewell tour? Well, the answer is yes. Because if Ru is going to assemble a single iconic queen from 12 franchises around the world, well I am seated. Or in the words of Ru, my pussy, like the world’s, is about to be set on fire. Exactly like my girls Lady Gaga and Celine did in Paris for the Olympics.
But that is the other opening ceremony, and I’ve digressed.
Forgoing entries into the Werk Room, the dolls went straight to the mainstage to met with Ru, Michelle and Jamal. And first to strut the runway in her Opening Ceremony Extravaganza Eleganza was Athena Likis from Drag Race Belgique serving sexy milk maid and sassing Ru for being old. Miranda Lebrão from Brasil was silly and living her best life while simultaneously giving Sasha Velour. And requesting four vaginas. Canada’s Pythia – the icon herself – arrived ready to cluck outside the box. Kween Kong chuckled her way onto the international stage ready to do Jamal, which is relatable. Soa de Muse gave burlesque and continued to charm through acting and lip syncing all the way from France, in the hope that Jamal fucks her. Nehellenia gave sweet, space glamazonian and ugh, I love her. Germany’s Tessa Testicle was a shimmering floral delight ready to marry Michelle, proving she is smart.
And has balls. Geddit? Well, one. I’ll show myself out.
Gala Varo joined us from Mexico looking stunning and ready to serve sex. Eva Le Queen from Philippines – Marina’s sister – packed her lip gloss and was ready for a crown. Alex’s bestie Vanity Vain arrived serving forest moose, representing Sweden. Kitty Scott-Claus scratched her way back onto the teev, ready to camp it up to the end before Alyssa arrived and reminded us that always and forever, she is an icon and is hands down the one to beat.
All twelve returned to the stage for their official welcome into the competition, and learnt that not only will the winner head to Daytona Beach to inaugurate the international pavilion of the Hall of Fame, but they’d also score a cheeky $200K. US dollars. Which is honestly sickening, no? Better yet, nobody would be going home this week, in the spirit of world peace. Just like the Olympics proper. Athena, Miranda, Kween, Soa, Kitty and Alyssa were then called forward as the first contestants in the two-part Global Glamazon Talent Extravaganza, while the other dolls would just watch on from the sidelines and take a little wander down the runway.
Finally, we entered the global Werk Room where the dolls were gagged by how stunning it was. Kween was quick to welcome Alyssa back, while she looked at herself in the mirror as she greeted her international sisters, who were all rightly delighted to be amongst greatness. We then got a flashback to Alyssa’s first two iconic seasons, with her admitting she is ready to snatch the crown on her third time, knowing exactly what Ru and Michelle expect from her. As Kitty and Kween helped her de-drag, she met her new sister Tessa Testicle. Noting it is singular, in honour of her torsion.
Tessa then caught up with Soa and Athena to talk about how sexy Jamal is, which again, duh. Athena then moved on to Pythia, with the Greek duo excited to go from touring together to competing. We then learnt how Athena became an icon in her first season, ready to go from runner-up to the winning ambassador from Belgium. Miranda, Pythia and Eva meanwhile spoke about how weird it was to be in front of Ru, though questioned how much of an advantage Kitty, Kween and Alyssa have from already being known entities. Before Kitty broke the wardrobe, ruling her out from winning, given she cost Ru money.
Dia de Talent Show Part Une arrived with the performers splitting off to beat their mugs, as those who stupidly slept on France got to learn who Soa is. And who she is, my friends, is my favourite and I hope she is winning the crown. Kitty meanwhile told Gala and Nehellenia how excited she was to perform her talent before we were reminded that Ella was robbed in UK Season 3, though Kitty well and truly deserved her place at the end. Gamed out or not. Miranda meanwhile was busy opening up to Alyssa about how nervous she is to perform, with Alyssa agreeing that she is terrified to make her debut as she desperately wants Ru to see that she has applied herself. While Miranda explained she was nervous actually just nervous as she is doing something kinda dangerous. We then learnt that she made it all the way to the end of Brasil Season 1 and damn, she looks like an icon.
Kitty then got thirsty, leading the dolls in decreeing Gala the trade of the season. Which adds nothing, but is very important.
Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by Adriana Lima as Kween opened up the show with an iconic dance performance to her original song where she straight up lifted one of the back-up dancers and carried him around on her shoulders. Then, THEN, used leaf blowers as a wind machine and sassed them out for being colonisers. So crown her. Miranda was hilariously stupid before she jumped on a trapeze and while it was absolutely iconic, I was also so anxious about her falling, I couldn’t enjoy it as she flipped her sisters off. Plus, Ru looked scared about how much she’d have to pay her if she fell and cracked her skull, so we know she isn’t winning the challenge.
Kitty then sang live and damn, she has the pipes but the audio is kinda a flop this episode, no? But looking at the back-up dancer’s midriffs, I am anything but. Athena gave camp burlesque baby, complete with windmill nipple tassels. And wacky, waving inflatable arm Michelles. Soa too sang live and ugh, I love her so damn much. She was sultry, moody and Ru, please give her the flowers she so rightly deserves. Speaking of flowers, Alyssa gave a jazzercise lip sync performance and she just knows why she was invited back and this already feels like a victory lap. As she was a star. And so stupid. Which is just what we want from her.
On the Garden of Eden runway, Athena was stunning as a bound Eve, complete with apple in her mouth. Miranda was eaten by a snake and so beautiful, Pythia was a rotten apple – right to the core, right – Kween went with tree of life realness, Soa gave Lilith and was stun. Tessa gave neon bondage as she ate the apple, Nehellenia went from angel to devil and ugh, she is fun. Gala gave them original sin, tempting the judges in addition to her sisters. Eva went with the colourful version of the tree of life, Vanity gave the street-snake to Voldemort pipeline before Kitty showed her rosebud. Alyssa then stole the show in a shimmering garden-green beast of a gown.
Ru then announced that this week’s top two would lip sync for the win and a $10K cash tip. After sending the other dolls backstage, the judges lavished Athena with praise for being silly and fun in the show and looking gorgeous on the runway. Miranda is clearly a fave of Ru’s, from the stunning runway to the difficult madness of runway trapeze. Kween was praised for kicking the opening in the dick – thanks Hannah – and slaying the talent show, and looking moody on the runway. Soa’s runway received wall to wall praise, as did her cabaret performance. Kitty was praised for being fun and charismatic, before Alyssa got all of the praise, from her perfect talent to her glorious runway. Making Ru hold back tears – or pretend to – as she told Alyssa how proud of her she is.
Backstage Nehellenia was talking about how nervous she is to perform next week, given they have a lot to live up to, as they praised everyone for a job well done. The performers joined their sisters, talking about how great their feedback was. Everyone agreed Alyssa will definitely be in the top, with Alyssa thinking that Miranda will be joining her, on account of how challenging her performance was. Miranda then opened up about how she suffered from burns as a child which will lead to muscle wasting as she ages, and how the performance was a farewell, given she will likely lose the skill and ugh, I’m crying.
The dolls returned to the mainstage where Ru announced that it would be our very own Kween Kong that would face off against Alyssa for the win. And, yeah, we know this is going to be quite the lip sync. As soon as Rhianna’s Only Girl in the World kicked off, the dolls were fire. And yeah, it felt good to see Alyssa killing a lip sync again in 2024. She hit every lyric and every line, while Kween reminded us why she is considered the lip syncing assassin of Down Under, barrel rolling mid-air once again, overshadowing an Alyssa death drop in the process, before they finished hand in hand. Which rightly earned them both the win, splitting $10K in the process.
Backstage the dolls were gagged that Kween and Alysssa shared the win, while the duo were just excited to have a seat in the peanut gallery for the next week and relax and watch their sisters dominate.
The next day Eva was looking forward to getting the chance to show off her talent, while Vanity was pumped to redeem herself, given she bombed her first season. We then learnt more about Tessa who may not have had the longest run, but her mirror message was just her smooshing her bum on the mirror, so she is an icon. Plus, she is desperate to be adopted by Alyssa, so I love her. Gala opened up about doing pole dancing for her talent, with Kween valiantly volunteering to be the pole, should it be needed. Nehellenia admitted that she is very nervous about the talent show, given she was never in the bottom in her season of Italia. And she worried she wouldn’t be able to keep the streak going.
Ru dropped by to kiki with her daughters, by way of a little photoshoot for the cover of Quick Drag Magazine. Obviously the Werk Room descended into chaos with everyone hoping to avoid looking like a BEAST while slapping on their quick drag. They got in a soul train line for the zaddy pit crew member who was playing the photographer, with Pythia cute and fun, Kween was an absolute mess, Eva gave middle aged drunk, Alyssa served stoopid, Miranda was wacky, Gala gave arse – swoon – Kitty gave drunk Geri Halliwell, Vanity gave gogo cutie, Athena gave straight up cartwheels, Nehellenia served actual dancing diva, Soa was hilarious and Tessa rocked titty balls before Ru stopped the line, for the sake of dignity. Given she was actually a stunning dancer, it was Nehellenia who took out the win and earned herself $2,500 in the process.
After Ru disappeared, Kween dropped by to congratulate Nehellenia for being an absolute icon in the mini challenge. Alyssa meanwhile went to kiki with Gala who we learnt was an actual professor and met his deceased husband at an Alyssa Edwards show and ugh, I am crying again. Alyssa then moved on to give Nehellenia a pep talk about believing in herself before she opened up about her journey with her father, who went from someone that didn’t want little Nehellenia to dance to being her biggest supporter and best friend. Vanity meanwhile opened up about being a lone wolf in Sweden without a drag family, though admitted she was ready to show off her stunning singing voice. And hopefully not her temper, unlike last season.
Performance day arrived with Pythia realising this is literally the last time they will all be safe. Eva spoke about how hungry she is for a win, given she made it to the end of her original season without claiming one. Kinda like Cheryl, you know? Tessa meanwhile was just hoping to show that she was stupid and flexible in her talent show, while Alyssa opened up to her sisters about how she never went on a plane until she started doing drag. Talk turned to the diversity of the drag scenes, with Kween opening up about how Australia is super homogenised – because it is – and that she is so grateful to be among her new sisters and is able to find that universal language together.
When it came to Talent Show 2: Back in the Habit, Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by Danna as Pythia opened up the talent show with a demented clown bedtime story. Finishing by literally pulling a crown out of her bum. Nehellenia then slayed, singing an original song and dancing, live, and um, is this a new frontrunner emerging? Tessa then gave a comedy burlesque number, and given she continued to add Pit Crew members throughout the song, I live. Even if Kitty didn’t. Eva then taught us how to cook rice in a rice cooker before stripping down and sword fighting the Pit Crew and then slayed an inflatable dragon. Sooooo, crown her now, ploise. I mean, she finished screaming SON OF A BITCH, when she learnt the rice cooker was unplugged. So stupid. Gala then served all of the sex in her pole dance, while all of her sisters marvelled at how hot she is. Vanity then closed the show with a live performance and oh god, please don’t punish her for being a good singer Ru, because this was good.
On the Money Makes the World Go Round runway – local currency edition – Nehellenia gave a camp mille into euro barbie and ugh, I love it. Tessa gave coin warrior , Kitty was a shimmering delight, dripping in pounds. Pythia served Lady Britannia realness, Kween was a golden glamazon, Alyssa was the expensive version of Kween’s look, Eva went from piggy bank to a shimmering delight, Gala gave bohemian peso diva, Athena was a delight in silver chainmail, Soa gave historic finances in shell before Vanity was perfection giving krona realness and Miranda closed the show giving golden animal.
Nehellenia received wall to wall praise for her talent show, and they loved how fun her outfit was on the runway. While Tessa’s performance was messy, they loved that it was meant to be, while Ru was delighted by her look. Pythia was praised for thinking outside of the box, gagging Michelle that she literally makes all of her outfits. Eva was praised for being absolutely demented and looking gorgeous, and Gala was beloved for being so sexy and focussing on all the details. While Vanity was absolutely adored for all that she gave, particularly since her song was a bop.
Backstage the viewer dolls were proud of their runways and rather confident theirs was the better talent show, with all of them agreeing Eva, Gala and Vanity were the standouts. And they were kinda ready for Tessa to go. The other queens joined them to talk through their critiques, with all of them still mainly just shocked to be in Ru’s presence. Returning to the mainstage, it was ultimately Eva and Vanity were deemed the top two of the week, and lined up to lip sync for the win to Danna’s Paranoia. And yeah, it was a slay from both of the dolls. Eva was polished and turned a show, while Vanity was frankly captivating, leaning into the emotion as she hit every lyric. And while both were strong, it was Vanity that took out her first win of the season
Given Kitty was feeling it was high time to send some dolls home, I decided to pull her aside and remind her that while she knows how good it is to receive culinary comfort from moi, not all of her sisters have experienced that same luck, so be respectful of their nerves. Plus, nobody went home for two episodes, so I had to choose someone to celebrate early and as such, it was her. And I was kinda, sorta craving a big fat piece of Nutella Biskitty Scott-Clauscake Bars.
Biscoff has been having her moment for the last 5 years or so, and if every little treat you can make with it tastes this good, I am cool with her taking the mantle from nutella. These little bars are sticky, spicy and oh so sweet, though like Kitty’s humour, pack a little bite. And I love it.
Method Combine 200g of the crushed biscuits with the melted butter, stirring until well combined. Press into a square cake tin to form a base, and pop in the fridge to chill while you prepare the filling.
Equally as easy, pop the cream cheese in the bowl of a stand mixer with the icing sugar, nutella and 100g of the biscoff spread, and beat with the paddle attachment on medium for a couple of minutes, or until well combined. Pour on top of the base, smooth out the top and return the cake to the fridge.
Finally, melt the remaining biscoff and pour over the filling and smooth out. Sprinkling the top with the remaining biscuits crumb however inspires you creatively. I went with a pole, in honour of Gala, obviously.
Return the cake to the fridge and allow to set for at least four hours before carving into bars and devouring, to distract yourself from Gala and the zaddy Pit Crew member, pacifically.
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Previously on Australian Survivor twelve people at the top of their games – aka Titans – were pitted against twelve wildcards – yep, you guessed it, Rebels – where the Titans lead the way in getting absolutely demolished by the Rebels as Tobias did the L on his forehead as often as possible. The Titans lost Frankie and Jessica back-to-back before the Rebels lost an immunity challenge. While the buff, alleged hotties thought they had control, Feras rallied the troops to take out Peta and Tobias back-to-back, sadly without the latter’s signature L. Kelli then was sent over to the Titans as a saboteur, failed, and then they lost Nathan before the tribes switched up for real.
Kelli upped the ante on the chaos – oh damn, Kelli was wild – before Caroline realised she needed to get rid of Viola to ensure Mark stayed loyal to her. Drawing the ire of Valeria in the process. Viola was followed out the door by Sarah and Garrick before Charles got rather screwed by a twist. Though it kept the Rebel minority strong, so whatever. Before the tribe finally grew tired of Kelli and sent her packing before the merge.
After the merge the stress of the game got to Scott as he quit the game, soon followed by Winna and Eden before Aileen became the Queen of the Jury. She was soon joined by Jaden and Valeria, before Alex put a massive target on Kirby’s back before he exited the game. Kirby’s closest ally Ri followed Alex out the door, before Caroline accidentally idolled her closest ally Kitty out of the game. The threat of Kirby winning finally spooked everyone enough to boot her, before Ray lost the fire challenge and became the Fourth Place Robbed Goddess of the season.
Despite winning the last two immunity challenges, Mark was the first to drop in the final immunity challenge. Despite being the perennial bridesmaid, Feras finally took out the win and promptly sent Mark to the jury. At the final tribal council, despite Caroline playing an extremely strong game, it was Feras that absolutely stole the show, answering everything with heart and grace before being named the Sole Survivor. Unanimously. With a big, hot Breakferas Basandwich to celebrate.
If there are two things I love with all my heart, it is breakfast and sandwiches. So yeah, this blog is full of different variations of breakfast sandwiches. Essentially a BEC but on sourdough, this one is glorious, easy and worthy of victory.
Enjoy!
Breakferas Basandwich Serves: 1.
Ingredients 4 rashers streaky bacon 2 tsp butter 3 eggs, whisked salt and pepper, to taste 2 slices sourdough 2 slices American cheese
Method Heat a skillet over medium heat and fry the bacon until glorious and crisp. Remove to some paper towel, and keep warm.
Add the butter to the still hot pan and once melted and foamy, add the eggs to the pan and use a spatula to scramble by sweeping across the pan until set. Remove from the heat, season with salt and pepper, and remove from heat.
Toast the sourdough and transfer to a plate. Pop a slice of American cheese on one of the slices of bread, followed by two pieces of bacon, the eggs, the remaining bacon and American cheese. Close the sandwich with the remaining bread and devour, victoriously.
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Previously on Australian Survivor the final four were well and truly locked down tribal lines with Middle-Aged Mafiosos Caroline and Mark locked in against our star actors, Ray and Feras. With immunity kind of deciding who had the upper hand. After Feras was pipped at the post by Mark in another immunity challenge, Mark and Caroline got to work convincing Feras to stick to his word and vote out Ray. Sadly for them, however, Feras was nervous and knew that if he and Ray split their vote, Mark and Caroline could do something spicy and get rid of him instead. This led to a deadlock between Caroline and Ray, with the fire challenge resulting in King Ray joining the Fourth Place Robbed Goddess of the season, which both sucks and feels right.
The next day, Feras was emotional and tired as he reflected on losing his closest ally and best friend in the game. Caroline and Mark, meanwhile, were thrilled to have made it to the end together despite their rocky journey. Despite his pain, Feras knew that everything came down to the upcoming immunity challenge and that if he doesn’t win, he is out. And while he hasn’t won an immunity challenge yet, he is looking for his rudemption. Sorry, redemption. Given he had been quite successful in challenges, Mark was feeling confident in his chances of taking out the hattrick. Caroline on the other hand knew that she had been underestimated all season long and was ready to prove it one final time.
Given it is all we’ve heard about so far, we met up with JLP in the jungle to see three massive torture wheels set up for the final immunity challenge of the season. They would stand on narrow pegs on each wheel, which would spin at regular intervals, forcing them on to narrower pegs, with the last person standing going straight to final tribal council and getting the choice of who to face off against. But first, loved ones. Mark’s wife Saskia came out in a red dress in honour of Queen Shonee – but seriously, what an icon for that move – she was followed by Caroline’s husband Murray and Feras’ wife Iman. After they wiped away their tears, the final three took their places on the wheels and strapped in for the pain.
Everyone was joking about their various attempts to blindside each other for the first 40 minutes, until JLP made the first crank of the wheel to narrower pegs. They survived the live transition before Feras spoke about how he knows that if he loses the challenge he is out, with Mark teasing him and talking about definitely having the taste for the win, and was looking forward to winning again. While Caroline reminded them that she gave birth to three children, so arguably, she is best placed to win this one. Which is as true as it is iconic. After an hour, JLP gave the wheels another crank, followed by one at 90 minutes before Mark opted out of the challenge after two hours. That left Feras and Caroline to face off after one final crank before Caroline stepped out, handing Feras final immunity. And let’s be honest, the game.
We pivoted straight to tribal council where sweet Ray was delighted to see his bestie wearing the immunity necklace, while Kirby looked on with pride and ugh, am I crying? Feras spoke about how much has changed in the last 24 hours, going from being heartbroken over having lost his two closest people back-to-back, but proud that he was finally able to push through and get the win and guarantee his place at the end. Mark and Caroline kindly congratulated Feras on killing the challenge, with Feras admitting he is now stressed about making the right decision of who to take to the end, particularly since he is single handedly deciding who to send to the jury.
Caroline spoke about coming so close to victory, though hoped that Feras wanted to battle it out with the best, in her, tomorrow night. Mark agreed that he would love the chance to battle with Feras, but cautioned Feras that what Caroline can say and do at final tribal is unknown and as such, she is far more of a risk. With that Feras voted and despite a clever plea from Mark, he made the wise decision to send him out of the game as the final juror.
As Mark arrived at the Jury Villa I pulled him in for a hug and congratulated him on a game well played. Despite the fact he and Caroline were frequently at each other’s throats and trying to blindside each other, I loved that neither of them held it against each other and were always willing to try again. It is iconic and makes for a fun season – I mean, who can believe we had them and Kirby and Feras feuding with each other all season long? As such, I thanked him for the drama and mess, and toasted his eventual return with a piping hot Mark Warnorkchop & Salsa Verde.
While pork chops are normally a first boot thing, when slathered in a spicy, punchy salsa verde, they are more than worthy of a final boot. That being said, Porkchop is a glorious icon, so this is worthy of her too.
Enjoy!
Mark Warnorkchop & Salsa Verde Serves: 4
Ingredients 4 garlic cloves 2 tbsp pickled capers, drained generous handful of mint ⅓ cup olive oil, plus extra 1 lemon, zested and juiced salt and pepper, to taste 1 tbsp butter 4 thick pork chops
Method Combine the garlic, capers, mint, olive oil, lemon juice and zest, and a good whack of salt and pepper in a food processor and blitz until well combined. Taste and adjust seasoning, and leave to rest.
Pop the butter and a lug of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat. While the pan gets nice and hot, season the chops. Add them to the pan and cook for 5 minutes, before flipping and cooking for another 5 minutes, or until cooked through.
Remove from the pan and leave to rest for five minutes before slicing and serving with a generous slathering of salsa verde. And devouring.
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Previously on Australian Survivor with the clock ticking on his advantage, Ray looped in Kirby and Feras to help him convince everyone to pile their votes on him so they could super-mega idol someone from the game. Which obviously delighted both of them. With their sights set on Valeria, Kirby powered through immunity to keep it out of her hands. Ray meanwhile was busy acting super depressed to try and execute the mercy kill plan. At tribal council, Kirby gave up immunity to a nervous Rianna, which spooked Feras given it should have been irrelevant. It was all for nought, though, as Ray apologised before playing his advantage, allowing his single vote to send Valeria home.
Back at camp everyone praised Ray for such an epic move, particularly since he was able to act so upset for two days. Surprisingly, though, nobody got angry about the fact he was feigning depression particularly given Scott quit to look after his mental health. Feras meanwhile was super happy to be involved, though was hoping to avoid anyone being angry with him, so pretended to not be involved. Mark and Alex caught up, realising they now had nobody, so had to stick together. But even better, if they could pull in Feras and Ray for an all male alliance, they could take control. Though given everyone wants to work with Feras, he is definitely the belle of the ball and that isn’t as likely as they would hope.
The next day Alex and Caroline were delighting in the glow of a rainbow as Kirby was calmly swimming by herself, vibing and living her best life. And oh god, she’s getting blindsided, isn’t she? Feras joined her as they joked about how far their relationship has come, while Alex got to work trying to bond with Ray. Well, until he just upped and walked off on him. Alex wasn’t deterred, however, given he is so close to Mark. By default, given all of his other options had now gone home. Knowing the men’s alliance is still not a majority, he got to catching up with Kirby to see why they haven’t worked together for 30 days. And instead of forming a bond, Kirby kinda read him for filth for being a floater and ugh, it is iconic. But also doesn’t bode well for that sick feeling that Kirby is heading home today.
Jonathan made his triumphant debut for an epic reward challenge where they would race to collect water in a leaky bucket and then run to the shore to fill a tube. With the victor getting a trip to the Survivor spa, including a bed, lasagne, wine and chocolates. So yeah, everyone was very, very keen for victory. Alex and his speedos got out to an early lead, as Kitty nipped at his heels. Mark and Feras joined the fun, though let’s be honest, this was well and truly Alex’s challenge as he continued to pull ahead before everyone just kinda gave up. He then started filling up Mark’s tube for a bit as everyone started speculating who he would be taking on reward with him, worried about who would also be left back at camp. Oh and then he returned to filling his tube and put everyone out of their misery. After JLP gave him his choice, he followed Mark’s advice and asked Ri to join him, given she hasn’t eaten in three weeks. When he had one more choice, he selected Caroline, followed by Kirby. Which gagged each and every one of those left behind.
We followed the victors off to their reward and ugh, it truly looked delightful. They sat down to smash the food and crack the champagne before Alex had a delightful shower scene and honestly, I don’t even know what his plans are, because I was transfixed. As he shaved his chest – roughly – he asked Kirby and Ri who they felt were their biggest threats, and when they wisely kept quiet, he pointed out that he thinks Feras and Kirby have been playing the best game so far and as such, he wants to play with them and make it to the end together. He got out of the shower and smashed a little more lasagna, which ended up making him sick and with him gone, Kirby told Ri that maybe they just tell him whatever he wants to hear. Because while he hasn’t played a good game, he doesn’t need to know that.
Back at camp Mark was making the most of his time with Feras and Ray to lock in a vote against Ri, given she keeps winning endurance challenges. And is a massive support to Kirby. Mark meanwhile was more concerned about Kirby – for obvious reasons – so decided to go with the bold play, straight up saying that he would prefer Kirby go first. And while Feras still wasn’t keen, he did offer that they go for her next. They caught up with Ray, with them all agreeing that if Ri wins immunity, they will target Kirby.
Back at the spa, the women watched on as Alex struggled not to vomit before talk turned to the game. They all agreed that getting rid of Ray should be their priority, and when they suggested Feras would be angry, Kirby suggested that they just tell Feras that the vote will be a split between him and Ray so he has no choice. However when Alex went to bed, the three women agreed that getting rid of Alex is what they truly needed to prioritise.
The tribe reunited at the beach with Jonathan for the immunity challenge, where they would each have to stand on narrow pegs over the water and hold on to sandbags, with the last person standing jagging immunity. After a minute, Ray’s intrusive thoughts overcame him as he tested whether he could lean and promptly fell. At the ten minute mark it started to pour down with rain, leading Caroline and Kirby to drop out. Kitty then tapped out before the remaining four transitioned to the narrower pegs. That immediately cost Mark his spot, leaving Feras and Alex to struggle as Ri just blissed out. Meaning she is essentially going to win every second immunity challenge at this point, given they keep wheeling out this frame. After Feras dropped out, Alex and Ri continued to zen out, as Alex miraculously saved himself from falling backward at the 20 minute mark. Ri then started to talk about the fact she is a physical threat, so she may as well win the challenge given they will still think it. Which she did, as Alex dipped out.
Back at camp the tribe quickly split up, with Ri and Kirby whispering for everyone to vote out Alex. Even Alex, who straight up heard Kirby and Ri talking about him while they were in the spa on the reward. The women all got together to regroup after the reward with them all keen to get rid of Alex, particularly since they think he wants everyone to split the votes between Feras and Ray. Kirby suggested they loop in Feras, given he probably wants to get rid of Alex ASAP too. She and Ri went to tell him, as Kitty and Caroline hung back to talk about their own plans. Mark and Alex meanwhile were busy locking in a Kirby plan, with Mark just worried that Alex was too busy spiralling to think straight. Feras caught up with the boys, with everyone joyfully planning to get rid of Kirby. Though Feras cautioned that they need one more, however, the risk is that Caroline and Kitty have seemingly been growing closer with Kirby. The boys suggested talking to Caroline about growing her resume is their best hope, so sent Mark off to get to work.
While that was happening, Kirby pulled Feras aside to see if he’d be keen to join the women to get rid of Alex. She opened up about how desperate he was at the reward, which Feras assured her has made him feel confident. Ray soon joined them, with the trio agreeing to get rid of Alex, though she was worried about what Caroline would do. Which is exactly what Feras needed to hear to decide the Kirby plan really makes the most sense. We ventured back to the shelter where Alex then caught up with Caroline and Kitty, though he desperately wanted Kitty to leave them alone so he could float his real plan. Which made both Kitty and Caroline super nervous, given it is clear he was being evasive.
Caroline checked in with Mark to see why Alex was being weird, with him facilitating a sit down between Alex and Caroline. With Alex pointing out his issue with giving her a name was Kitty, given she is close with Kirby. He then pointed out that being the deciding vote for Kirby would be a huge move, but they desperately needed to keep things quiet from Kitty if it is going to work. Caroline then checked in with Feras to make sure he was definitely keen on the plan, meaning Alex’s nerves were the only thing in the way. Well, that and the fact Caroline headed off to the well with Kitty. As she assured them it was just that they desperately needed water, nothing else. Though Alex vowed that no matter what, he will be pushing for people to turn on her before they vote.
At tribal council Alex spoke about how he selected everyone to go on the reward in the hope of building relationships, though spoke about how clear it was that Ri and Kirby had zero interest in working with him or anyone else. Kirby pretended she was keen to go with their discussions at the spa, before Alex pointed out that her plan was to split the vote on Feras and Ray. She then agreed it was true, before he turned his attention to Feras, asking if he was truly planning to get rid of Kirby tonight or if he too is lying to them. Feras pointed out that Alex’s outburst could be the reason he doesn’t vote with him tonight, which only made Alex sassier, calling him delusional if he thinks Kirby has a place for him in her end game. Feras agreed that Kirby is a massive threat, though strong-arming someone into voting for her won’t actually help.
He then went in on Caroline as a superfan, pointing out she clearly needs to make a move worth getting the jury to vote for her. Kirby tried to defend herself, pointing out that while Alex views her as a threat, not everyone may agree with him. He then continued to tell Caroline that she hasn’t made a move, which annoyed her and damn, I think he has officially, single-handedly offended everyone into booting him. Kirby spoke about how Alex has been floating and as such, playing now is too little too late. Kirby started to get a little sassy, and while she told Alex he is clearly more nervous, her relaxed attitude appeared to spook people. Before Alex gave a last ditch pitch for everyone to just write her name down, while Ri, famed for botching multiple votes this season, sassed him about being able to spell. With that, the tribe voted and everyone banded together to send Alex out of the game. No doubt because of his mistakes.
Given we’re now without a speedo king, Alex followed my sobs all the way to the Jury Villa where I jumped into his arms. And stayed there, quietened and reassured for an hour or so before I could pull myself enough to thank him for a game well played. And while that is questionable, he served looks – well, one really good one – all season and as such, he deserved praise and a piping hot Alex Bacoe & Pecorino Danish.
Just like Alex, this danish is 100% delectable and has you coming back for more. And more. The delicate pastry melts away under the sharp pecorino and the salty bacon, along with the pain of realising our speedo king has fallen.
Enjoy!
Alex Bacoe & Pecorino Danish Serves: 6.
Ingredients 1 batch David Croissant dough 1 large egg, whisked 8 rashers streaky bacon, diced and cooked 1 tbsp butter 1 tbsp flour 1 cup milk 1 cup pecorino cheese 1 tsp kosher salt 1 tsp ground black pepper thyme, to serve
Method The day before you want these babies, get to work prepping the David Croissant dough as per his recipe. Then fast forward 24 hours, and line two baking sheets with parchment paper.
Roll out the dough into a 40x30cm rectangle and cut into 12 rectangles. Cut an oval out of the centre of half of them. Transfer the whole rectangles to a baking sheet and brush with the whisked egg followed by the hollowed out pieces. Cover loosely with plastic and leave to rest for half an hour.
Preheat the oven to 180C.
Next up, melt the butter in a saucepan over low heat. Once foamy, add the flour and whisk to combine and cook for a minute until the flour is cooked off. Remove from the heat and whisk in the milk until combined. Return to the heat and bring to the boil and cook, stirring, for a few minutes or until thickened. Add half the cheese, salt and pepper, stir until melted and remove from the heat.
Top the rectangles with the cheese sauce, followed by pecorino and then some bacon and pop in the oven to cook for 15-20 minutes, or until gorgeously puffed and cooked through. Serve immediately, with a sprinkle of pecorino and some thyme and devour. While salivating.
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Previously on Australian Survivor Ri’s bandage helped her win a second immunity. But seriously a bandaged hand protecting her from getting rope burn as to help the situation, no? Anyway, with Aileen gone, Kirby and Feras finally locked in a solid alliance with Ri and Jaden, and decreed Val their first target. Seeing that moves were happening without him, Alex jumped ship to the Titans to form a new majority, sadly unaware that Kitty was busy switching allegiances to the Rebels. At tribal council, Raymond also decided now was the time to make a move, though was rather obvious about it, leading to the Rebels switching the vote to Alex instead, who played his idol for Val. And was only saved by Ray switching his vote to Jaden. Which is both a blessing and curse.
Back at camp Feras confronted Ray for flipping the vote, while Ri and Kirby talked about shit about him for being a weasel. They joined the boys, with Ray explaining that all he cared about was keeping the Rebels safe and as such, when Mark assured him that all would be good if he voted for Jaden, he felt it was a good idea to flip. Which seemed to calm them all. Meanwhile the other alliance were busy debriefing, with Kitty copping to targeting Val, apologising and admitting she understands if they want her gone now. Which just feels so calm and mature.
The next day Alex, Caroline and Valeria were joking about making breakfast, while the Titans crew marvelled at how lucky they are to have him in their alliance. Particularly given Kitty now has a massive question mark against her. She caught up with Mark, sharing that while she made a mistake, she was hopeful that the general back and forth of this season’s alliances would mean they could forgive her. Because she was willing to do whatever it takes to stay in the game, given she is clearly on the bottom and has zero other options. Meanwhile Caroline, Rianna and Mark caught up, wondering if something was wrong with Ray, who admitted he just wasn’t feeling it. Which he admitted to us was all an act, knowing he has to pull the target his way if he wants to use his advantage to build his resume. As he sulked, Feras supported him by talking up how disappointed he was by the previous tribal council and as such, Ray just wanted out. In the hope that everyone will pile the votes on him out of sympathy, and he could use the advantage to take out their biggest threat.
The tribe met up with Jonathan for a very shady little reward challenge where they would race to transport coconuts through an obstacle course and then slingshot them at tiles to eliminate their competitors until only one person is left on the board. For an epic high tea reward. Feras and Mark got out to an early lead, while Ray deliberately wasted his time, highlighting how dejected he is to attract that pity vote. It took a while for people to get their eyes in, before Mark took out Ri’s first tile, Alex took out one of Caroline and Kitty’s before Kirby knocked out Alex’s first. Feras shot at Ray, Alex got Kirby’s tile before Mark took out his own tile on the way to eliminating Kirby from the challenge. Feras then eliminated Caroline, Kitty got Val’s first while Mark got Feras’ before Alex eliminated Raymond. Ri then almost took herself out, before Alex officially did the honours. Feras then took out Mark, Alex then eliminated Feras before Valeria waited it out for Alex to eliminate her and snatch the reward.
As is oft the case, JLP gave Alex the chance to invite two people to join him on reward, going with Val and Feras. Bringing together his old and new loves. JLP then let him go with another person, opting for Kitty, given nobody understands why she tried to flip. At the reward the crew quickly took their places at the table and immediately loaded up their plates. After filling up a little, talk turned to the game with Alex and Val now besties, and he was obviously hopeful to win Feras back over. Obviously Feras assured everyone that he will be happy to work with anyone at any time, assuming that they have mutual interests. Though told us, he is over Alex. Feras started to run the pre-work for the advantage, pointing out that Ray is close to quitting the game and he is quite worried for him, so is thinking they need to look at voting him out next and getting back to the game later. While back at camp Raymond continued to play disappointed, refusing food and water and all round making Caroline, Rianna and Mark super concerned for his wellbeing.
Everyone came together that night as Ray continued to hang in the hammock by himself as Feras asked if anyone has even checked up on Ray, as he chuckled to us that their plan just may come together. Feras caught up with Ray to congratulate his glorious acting, laughing up how funny his plan is and how gutted Caroline in particular will be when she learns it is a scam. Feras went back to the shelter to talk to the tribe, with Caroline and Kitty quickly offering to vote him out if he is too upset by the game. With Ray giggling when Feras confirmed it was afoot. Ray rightly told Feras they need to loop in Kirby if they want to move forward with her, so they pulled her aside as she delighted in the drama. And they locked in a blindside on Val, given the rest of her alliance just aren’t powerful.
The next day Ray went back to his acting masterclass, as everyone tried and failed to see whether he was ok. Kirby decided she will win immunity today, like Annette Benning and selling a house, while Valeria wondered whether things were too simple going with a mercy kill on Ray, so felt it may be the right time to use it as a cover for a blindside.
Sad Ray and the rest of the tribe met up with Jonathan for the immunity challenge where they would race to manoeuvre a ball through a multi-level maze without dropping. With the first to the end jagging immunity. Ray straight up just leant on the wobbly table and acted sad while everyone else struggled to get their eye in. Kirby was first to make it down to the second level of the maze before she once again dropped, sending her back to the start. Kitty then did the same, followed by Mark. As Ray continued to deliver an acting masterclass. Alex then made it to the second level and dropped before Caroline and Valeria seemed to survive the transition and made it to the final level. It was then a race for immunity, before both of them dropped. This allowed Kirby to take the lead and power to immunity before Val could close the gap.
Back at camp Ray pulled everyone together to ask them to all vote for him as his head is just no longer in the game. He then said he was pretty embarrassed, so ran aside to sit by himself. Feras was feeling confident in his plan coming together as everyone seemed keen to grant Ray his wishes. He was so convincing and charming even Kirby was moved, and she was aware of the plan. Feras then pitched that they all yell out something nice when voting for Ray, as he’ll love the humour. With everyone vibing and happy to see another day, Valeria pulled Mark aside and floated the idea that Ray’s heartbreak could be the perfect cover for a blindside. Specifically, Rianna. Mark too liked the plan, though was worried they didn’t have the clear numbers to do it and as such, cautioned that they think about the jury and what keeping Ray in the game could mean in the long run. Kirby meanwhile felt nervous about leaving Rianna in the dark, so pulled her aside to loop her in and rightly, for once, she grew nervous about handing him all the power.
She is right to be nervous, but obviously I don’t like the fact that her lack of trust in Ray could be his downfall. Feras, girl, we may need that idol!
Mark checked in with Caroline to see how Ray was doing, while Rianna started to spiral. She caught up with Kirby in the ocean, asking whether they can really trust Ray will vote Valeria, and suggested that instead, they should just let Ray go but voting for another person. Kirby assured her they will be fine, so checked in with Ray to make sure that the plan is definitely Val. With him promising that he wants to make up for screwing the last tribal council and make amends with them. Mark, Alex and Feras caught up with Ray, with Alex giving a last ditch effort to pitch Ri before Feras leaned hard on the fact that Ray would love the record for the largest unanimous vote post-merge.
At tribal council Mark spoke about how everyone has worked with most others on the tribe, because they all just want to survive. Kitty spoke about the emotionally taxing vibe, given there had been feuds but then everyone was making up at rewards. Feras turned things to the task at hand, talking about everything being so difficult but tonight, there is clearly one person that they can all get behind voting out in Ray. He spoke about how sad he is and that he knows he is bringing the vibe of the season down, before Val spoke about how they have all had ups and downs, but he just can’t seem to get back up. Caroline agreed she is super worried about Ray and as such, she is happy to vote him out. Kirby then quietly took the immunity necklace off and handed it over to Ri, before talking about how stressed she has been feeling watching Ray get upset.
JLP then pointed out that Kirby handed immunity over to Ri and while they downplayed things as just the usual nerves that something may go wrong, it seemed to spook the Titans. Feras tried to point out that Ray desperately wants a unanimous vote, so he’d be so upset should someone use Ray’s wellbeing to execute a blindside. While Val pointed out it would make sense to try something, despite how sad they all feel for Ray. With that the tribe voted, Ray gave a little giggle and played his advantage, as everyone was gagged by its power. JLP then got to counting with the first eight piling up on Raymond, making him immune, before Valeria was sent to the jury with only a single vote. Despite the plot being a little bit messy, particularly given the circumstances surrounding Scott’s departure, Valeria took the blindside on her chin. And while she was disappointed, she was thrilled to go out in an iconic tribal council. Which made her as happy as a gloriously fresh Valeria Katsizova Sando.
There is nothing better than a fresh katsu sando. Melt in your mouth bread, hot and crunchy meat and the fresh crunch of some cabbage work together perfectly to cheer you up after even the most crushing defeats.
Enjoy!
Valeria Katsizova Sando Serves: 2.
Ingredients 2 x 200g pork loin steaks, about 1-2cm salt and pepper, to taste 1 ½ tbsp flour 1 egg, whisked 1 cup panko breadcrumbs vegetable oil, for fryin’ 4 slices white sandwich bread 4 tsp butter softened ½ – 1 cup cabbage, shredded 3 tbsp tonkatsu sauce
Method To prep the pork, trim any connective tissue between the meat and fat. This will help stop it from curling up while frying. Sprinkle both sides of the meat with salt and pepper, before dredging in flour, the egg and finally, the breadcrumbs.
Pop the oil in a pot over medium-high heat and once it hits 170C, add the pork and fry for about 2 minutes. Turn over and fry for another minute or so, or until golden and crunchy. Flip a final time to even up the colour before removing and allowing to drain on some paper towels.
To make the sando, spread the butter on two slices of bread, top with the tonkatsu, cabbage and the tonkatsu sauce before closing the sandos. And devouring, greedily.
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Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World the dolls were tasked with throwing a little Happy Endings Ball. By Michelle, no less, given Ru was busy recovering from the flu, or something. I am not a doctor. In any event, the first two categories were generally slays across the board. However the third and final category required them to pull together a look from scratch, and that is where things went a little wild. While LGD and Keta dominated and created beautiful gowns, Hannah had to rely on charm to carry her dress through, while Choriza just chose a hideous fabric and Arantxa was basic. Ultimately a recovered Ru decreed that LGD dominated the lip sync, and despite concerns about a UK alliance, opted to be fair and send home the iconic Arantxa. Breaking all of our hearts in the process.
Backstage LGD was thrilled to have her first badge, though gutted to have been the one to send sweet Arantxa home. Choriza, meanwhile, was heartbroken that her best friend’s run was cut so short, though grateful that the world would get to know who she is. Whether they could pronounce her name or not. Everyone congratulated LGD on her win, with her explaining that she didn’t save Arantxa as she felt she did worse in the challenge and that is how she is playing. While Tia was concerned Choriza rallying against her friend means they need to watch out for her. Talk turned to who Keta voted for, with her revealing she had Choriza’s lipstick, given without Arantxa, she wouldn’t have even had an outfit. Though everyone just assumed she was voting because she was more of a threat. Which Scarlet argued is how they should all be playing. Which obviously made everyone nervous.
The next day Gothy was thrilled to be continuing to break records by surviving two eliminations. After briefly admiring LGD’s new hardware, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be designing immersive experience attractions in Drag Race World, and then starring in a commercial to sell it to us in teams of three. As the tops and bottoms of last week, LGD, Keta and Choriza were deemed team captains, with LGD selecting Hannah and Jonbers, Keta opting for Tia and Marina, while Choriza selected Scarlet and was left with poor old, record-breaking Gothy.
After Ru departed they split up into their teams to come up with concepts. Team Choriza got to it after she and Scarlet gave Gothy a pep talk about going from being the last pick to winning the challenge, which both of them managed on their OG seasons. Choriza had bigger fish to fry, though, as the green screen in UK Season 3 was so bad it resulted in nobody winning the challenge, which is yet another Drag Race record. Scarlet meanwhile took control, ideating and executing like an advertising icon, thrilled to finally get a chance to put her advertising degree to good use. Over at Team Keta, they were hoping to highlight their different countries as Tia tried to get them to potentially do the challenge instead. Team LGD learned about Hannah’s slutty ways, as she suggested Hannah’s Cove as an option, given that was what they called the back-room at the clubs. Jonbers was leaning into Ireland, while LGD was filling her attraction with her entourage, giving people the chance to meet someone that has met her. Which is iconic.
Ru made her return to kiki, with Team Keta talking through their two-thirds travel ad, complete with trauma from Tia to bring it back to the franchise. With Tia putting her UN experience to good use, it seems. Team Choriza, meanwhile, were completely on track, as they clocked this challenge as being all about branding, as Scarlet wisely found out how Ru sees her and opted to lean all the way into that. And is she the winner and the drama? Team LGD meanwhile had Ru giggling from start to finish, thanks in no small part to Hannah talking about feeling comfortable in the UK because you are what you eat. And her husband is British. Begging the question, did I love her in Down Under or is she just killing it this season? The teams regrouped to go through the feedback and figure out how to enhance their concepts. While LGD and Choriza’s gangs were thriving, Team Keta began to spiral, as Tia desperately tried to pull them together and get them to deliver on the task.
Team Choriza were first up to film with Michelle as Scarlet got it all done in one shot, slaying the game and feeling her oats. Gothy too was loving herself sick, giving the Brit Crew a bukkake party, despite Michelle cautioning they don’t need another cum joke in the franchise. While Choriza was just kiking with the girls. Team Keta went with an airline theme, with Tia terrified about her fellow dolls. And while Marina got a few chuckles, Keta was a bit of a mess. And by a bit, a lot. Thankfully, Tia was a star, nailing every moment and being an all around delight. Team LGD meanwhile brought a little chaos as LGD struggled with her lines, which is fair, given English is her second language. Plus, the scenes were weird and I love them. Given she ran over, Hannah powered through on the fly leaving Jonbers a little more time for her scenes, which are either terrible, or the fake out. But either way, she wasn’t happy with LGD.
Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to beat their mugs as Hannah ockered it up as she told Tia about having to cram in her time filming. LGD told the dolls that she really struggled and knows she took up a lot of time, which clearly bothered Jonbers, who wished she had way more. Keta whispered to Marina that she thinks they did well, with Marina just blindly hoping, given she hasn’t had those sort of immersive experiences, given the queer community isn’t supported or even protected in the Philippines. LGD opened up about being a victim of a hate crime in Nice and given the police did nothing about it, she opted to move to a bigger city, Paris, for safety. Because even when the law is with us, getting justice is really hard. Which feels that little bit more poignant to hear after the tragic murders in Sydney. Leading to Jonbers reminding the world at large that it is easier to love than it is to hate, as Hannah begged them all to never get complacent.
Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined on the panel by the iconic Kim Petras as the dolls stomped the Ruveal Yourself runway. Which LGD owned from the first moment, going from Miss France to Miss Piss. Choriza went from Marge Simpson to slutty Marge Simpson, complete with blue bush. Tia went from Ru to Ru to Ru and hot damn, she looked good. Marina gave a dramatic erupting volcano before revealing a lava gown and yes, it was another slay. Keta went from pantsuit to pantsuit, to a burning purple witch, Hannah gave pope to showgirl and yeah, it was fun, before Jonbers gave the full rainbow to pot of gold journey. Scarlet went from white coat to orange shimmering gown before Gothy slayed in a quilted pink, mod mini, before stripping down to show off the twins. Literally.
When it came to the Drag World commercials, Team Keta’s was an absolute mess, well, Keta, anyway. As Marina and Tia arrived to serve the task and had the judges giggling, despite the Keta confusion. Team LGD’s was far more cohesive, as the dolls played off each other, had a narrative and TBH, were delightful. Hannah in particular, who was demented, doing the most with the absolute lack of time she had to film. While Jonbers closed the ad with a fizzle, sadly. They saved the best for last, however, as Team Choriza were lucky to have Scarlet’s expertise, as they gave fun, leant into the show and to quote Law Roach, did, what needed, to be done. Each and every one of them.
Marina, Hannah and Choriza were sent to safety at the back of the stage before the judges praised everything Tia did this week. Particularly given she was the star of her ad, Alan finally gets her and she leans into her brand at all times. Keta on the other hand was praised for her runway, though read for being a mess in the challenge, despite the fact she lived for her own ideas. LGD was read for being too awkward in the challenge, which I would argue was the point, proving she is the best person on the cast. Thankfully, they also lived for her pissing pants reveal runway. Jonbers was read for being too confusing in the experience and for not having any jokes, though they lived for the runway. Scarlet received wall-to-wall praise for the immersive experience and for dragging her team through, despite them wishing the reveal was more of a reveal, though they agreed it was stunning. While Gothy finally got her roses for zigging when they expected her to zag in the experience, and for giving a fun look and presentation. Which again, they loved.
Tia and Scarlet were named the top two of the week before Gothy and LGD were sent to safety, leaving Keta and Jonbers up for elimination. Backstage the dolls grabbed their drinks and toasted Tia and Scarlet on their success, as they worried about having to send someone home. Keta was obviously gutted, while Jonbers continued to complain about not having enough time to shoot. LGD hilariously just told her that her material wasn’t great. Before it exploded, the tops took a bottom each, as Keta praised Scarlet for being so stunning and lovely, joking that villains should stick together. While Scarlet worried she should send home the bigger threat, which would be Keta. Jonbers, meanwhile, was crying as she asked Tia to save her because she desperately wants it. As Tia mentioned she just wants to compete against the best, whoever that is. The safe girls talked through what they would do, with everyone saying it is Keta’s time, except for LGD, given they were in a team.
The bottoms switched places as Keta charmed Tia, despite her gut telling her that she would always save Jonbers. Tia told us that while Keta was a dud leader, she did brand herself, which was the task, so to her, she wasn’t the worst. Scarlet meanwhile praised Jonbers for being a fashion queen and looking gorgeous, though it also sounded like she was praising her as a consolation prize. Tia and Scarlet selected their lipsticks and made their way back to the mainstage to do battle. To Kim Petras’ own, Future Starts Now. Both the dolls gave a very classic Drag Race lip sync performance, though it was clear Scarlet had a fire in her, so that by the time she air-kicked Tia, it was only fair she took out the win. Before promptly sending Jonbers out the door and back to Northern Ireland.
As Jonbers sadly arrived backstage, I probably shouldn’t have screamed out “JB in the house ya’ll” like I was at a football game. But I did. And after apologising for a couple of hours, Jonbers eventually forgave me and we were able to toast a fun little run. While she may have only lasted a few episodes, I assured her she still showed growth and honestly, going out a little robbed is still better than lasting long enough to become the villain. Which, TBH, happens to the best of us. Thankfully, that was all it took to get our friendship back on track and allow us to have a craic. Whilst also smashing a delicious batch of Salted Peanut Caramel Jonbars Blonde.
Part caramel slice, part snickers, this glorious little treat is oh, so decadent. Viciously sweet with a glorious earthy crunch of the salty peanuts, it is the perfect snack to dull any and all pain. Like going from the Top Four to the third out.
Enjoy!
Salted Peanut Caramel Jonbars Blonde Serves: 6-8.
Ingredients 1 cup flour 1 cup muscovado sugar ½ cup desiccated coconut 185g butter, melted 395g sweetened condensed milk ¼ cup golden syrup 2 tbsp crunchy peanut butter 100g unsalted butter 1 cup salted roasted peanuts
Method Preheat the oven to 180°C, and line a 3cm deep slice pan.
Pop the flour, half the muscovado sugar and coconut in a bowl and stir in 125g of melted butter, until well combined. Transfer the mixture into the pan, press into the pan to form and base and pop in the oven to bake for 15 minutes.
While that bakes, combine the remaining melted butter in a pan with the condensed milk, half the golden syrup and the peanut butter. Cook, stirring, over medium heat for 8 minutes, or until golden. Pour over the base when it is cooked, return to the oven and bake for a further 10 minutes. Remove from the oven and leave to rest.
Finally, while the filling sets, place the remaining sugar, golden syrup and unsalted butter in a pan over medium heat. Cook, stirring, for 5 minutes, or until the sugar has dissolved and it has started to thicken. Remove from the heat, stir in peanuts and pour over the base. Return to the oven and back for another 10 minutes, or until golden and cooked.
Remove from the oven and allow to cool completely before slicing. And then devouring, like an icon.
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