Previously on Australian Survivor seven iconic Aussies were marooned in the Samoan wilderness, alongside seven icons from around the globe for the ultimate battle. 25 years in the making. There were people calling themselves gods and kings, there were black widows and icons and some unknowns from smaller franchises, destined to become modern legends. From the very first moments, things were kind of wild as David approached South Africa’s Rob to form a cross tribal alliance at the very first challenge. Tragically for David, it didn’t go far, as after the World tribe lost the immunity challenge, Parvati tried to bond with Rob by telling him David mentioned wanting to work with him while filming DONDI (the month before). Which Rob tried to use to get rid of her.
Sadly for him, Parvati is a legend and gave a dominating performance at the first tribal council and showed him the door. Though did kind of spoil DONDI for poor Lisa.
The Aussies then went on a losing streak, and while Shonee was keen to snip George as quickly as possible, Kirby took control and led the charge against David. Then the tribe, minus Luke and Janine, joined forces to get rid of George. Which was kind of tragic, as this was George at his most likeable. A surprise double tribal saw Sarah and Cirie compete in a fire challenge for immunity, sending the Aussies back to camp, while World turned on themselves. Knowing it was him or Tommi, Tony went to town and target Parvati as the head of the women’s alliance, despite the fact Parv desperately wanted to keep Tony around as a shield. Like Rob before him, however, Parvati dominated him when under attack, sending him out of the game just before the merge.
To celebrate the merge, JLP hosted a sweet little auction, with Luke winning the power to boot someone without any prizes. Which he promptly used to send Parv back to camp, where a vote steal advantage was waiting for her. With both tribes split 5-5, it looked like it was going to be a tied vote, until the Sarah/Kirby feud reached its peak, leading to Kirby and Shonee to give us the shontent we were craving by aligning with Parvati and Cirie to send the model from the game. The international trio then turned things on Kirby and sent her out the door, before a wild double tribal council sent Kass and Tommi out the door back-to-back.
Lisa was the last one standing and tried to cause a little chaos, but when it didn’t work, tried to put in the work to set Cirie up a little better by pointing out to Shonee she should work with Parv and Cirie to get to the end. Sadly when it came down to five, Shonee lost immunity and the two duos decided to band together and send our best to never win from the game. After Parvati won her first final immunity, votes were deadlocked between Luke and Cirie before the worst history repeated itself and Cirie finished in fourth due to fire. Like her very first season.
Despite Janine and Luke putting up decent performances in final tribal council, it was clear that Parvati’s game was on another level this season. Completely. She walked into the game with a bigger target than two-time winner Tony, but was in control of every single vote and frankly dominated every aspect of the game. And given it was her third time at final tribal council, it was clear she was able to articulate it with ease. Which guaranteed her enough votes to finally jag her second win.
As she exited the final tribal council, I jumped into her arms and broke down in tears. Despite being a massive Sandra fan, I love them both equally and to now call them both two-time winners is frankly too much for me to take. She truly put on her best performance this season, and I am so grateful that she is the final person that JLP crowned before his tragic axing. And my final recipe on the blog, in the form of my Parvzerotti Shallow.
There is frankly no better way to wrap up the blog by officially killing off the Survivor Pizza Curse via a technicality. Essentially just a fried calzone, these little pockets fill me with nostalgia for childhood tuckshop pizza pockets. But a more elevated and grown up version, kind of like the masterclass Parv just put on 17 years later. Ugh, they are delicious, so just go make them before I cry.
Enjoy!
Parvzerotti Shallow Serves: 2 dear friends, one of whom just joined the Two-Time Survivor Winner club.
Ingredients 210ml warm water, about 38C 1 tbsp raw caster sugar 7g dry yeast 2 tbsp olive oil, plus extra for greasing 2 ½ cups 00 flour, plus extra for kneading 2 tsp kosher salt 225g mozzarella cheese 1 cup passata ¾ tsp dried oregano 75g salami, roughly chopped ¼ green capsicum, diced ¼ cup black olives, sliced vegetable oil, for fryin’
Method To start, combine the warm water, sugar and yeast in the bowl of a stand mixer and leave to get nice and foamy for about five minutes. Add the olive oil, flour and two teaspoons of the kosher salt, and knead using the dough hook on the lowest speed for 5-10 minutes, or until a soft dough forms. Lightly oil a large bowl and pop in the dough, cover with cling and allow to prove for an hour or two, or until doubled.
While the dough gets proving, combine the mozzarella, passata, oregano, salami, capsicum and black olives in a bowl. Form into 8 equal portions and pop on a lined plate and place in the fridge until you’re ready to cook.
When the dough has doubled, punch it back and split into 8 equal portions. Working one at a time, roll on a lightly floured surface until they form a smooth, springy dough ball. Pop on a lined baking sheet and repeat the process until they are all done.
Working one at a time, use a rolling pin to flatten into a 15cm wide disc. Pop a portion of filling in the centre, and fold the dough in half, pleating the seams together to form a semi-circle parcel. Repeat the process, placing them on the lined baking sheet as you go.
When they’re all ready, pop an inch of two deep worth of oil in a dutch oven and heat until it reaches about 180C. Once hot, fry the panzerotti two at a time for a minute or so, before flipping and cooking for a further minute. Transfer to a wire rack and repeat the process until done.
Leave to rest for five minutes, before devouring like an icon. In honour of redemption, JLP and all the celebrities that have graced the pages of the interwebs before us. Even the two that asked for their recipes to be pulled xx
Oh, and thank you for the support – it has been a blast!
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Previously on Australian Survivor after the tragic loss of Cirie the night before, the final three were delighted to wake up on the beach to find their celebratory final three breakfast. Parvati was conflicted, proud of playing such a dominant game, but disappointed to not have her soulmate sitting alongside her at the end. After fuelling for final tribal council, the trio congratulated each other on playing such strong games and shared how grateful they were to become friends along the way. Which tragically is the win Janine had to settle for, as she was completely shut out of final tribal council and finished in third place.
Rewinding back to after opening statements, Lisa kicked off the Q&A portion of the game, talking about how much of a superfan she is, because Survivor just makes her happy, so her question was asking Luke to tell her what makes him happy about Survivor. He talked about how much he loves living in the jungle and catching crabs, and that it makes him as happy as Parv and Janine must be to be sitting next to him. Cirie asked Parvati why she was so upset to see Cirie’s torch get snuffed, with Parvati breaking down in tears again, talking about how miraculous it is to be as close as she is to Cirie and how she would do anything to give Cirie a shot in the end, because she took a shot from her in Micronesia. And she wanted it so badly for Cirie.
Tommi asked Parvati if she ever intended to play with him, with Parvati talking about being World strong at the merge. But when he followed it up, she laughed and said, well, she could tell he was close with Lisa and Kass, and as such, she invested her time with World, then the women and not necessarily Tommi. Luke joked that he wanted to work with Tommi, leading him to ask Luke why he should vote for someone that spoke about being Aussie strong all season. Luke defended himself, telling Tommi that he was ready to flip to the World players, alongside Shonee, blaming not being taken on the spa reward as the reason for opting out and joining Janine to work with Cirie and Parv, rather than forming a majority with them. As he played a calm game this time, rather than bouncing around each vote.
Kass pointed out that they needed four votes to win, so asked Parvati who she thinks would vote for her and why. She pointed out that she and Kass were fierce rivals all season, so she assumed Kass would vote for her, because she would if the tables were turned. She felt Lisa and Cirie would also vote for her, and she was hopeful that Kirby would also reward her. As she was also in control of all the votes, despite having the biggest target on her back from Day 1. Sarah meanwhile asked Janine to clarify her very loyal game, given she was the reason that (stoked the flames that) broke up the Aussies. Which led to Luke laughing about it being Janine, while Sarah pointed out that her alleged flawless game clearly had a flaw, as she played herself into the minority. Janine explained that she felt she had to pick between the two of them, as Sarah doubled down, saying that was not the time. Repeatedly. And her messiness made it a harder path to the end for her and Luke. Janine then pointed out that she never actually knew Kirby was voting for Sarah, and when the jurors argued semantics between them, it was kind of iconic.
Shonee asked Luke when he felt the most vulnerable, with him mentioning just after Kass had been voted out and how desperately he wanted to win immunity. He spoke about how convincing Parvati to rip up her advantage only benefitted his game, with her interjecting that not playing the advantage was the power, as it guaranteed her a final four, which was better than just getting another idol. Kirby wrapped things up, talking about how much she desperately wanted to play with Parvati, as two queens side by side. Parv agreed that she really wanted to work with her and she believed her, 100%, however she already had a solid alliance and as such, she had to go with the move that had momentum, when it was clear she couldn’t change their minds. And while she wanted to save her with her idol, she knew that she had to be smart and keep her idol for herself and set up her end game.
Parvati then reiterated that she was on the right side of every single vote, as she either knew about every plan, or came up with it. Despite being the biggest target in the game, she didn’t even have her name written down once, which is frankly unbelievable. With that the jury voted – Cirie and Tommi proclaiming Parvati the greatest Survivor player of all time, to boot – and after a single vote for Luke – from Sarah – the rest of them piled up on Parvati, handing her the win. And proving her the ultimate champion.
Luke was understandably heartbroken to finish in second place, though I pulled him in for a hug and congratulated on playing such a strong game. While I would argue Janine did a bunch of the heavy lifting, Luke has grown each time he has played the game, and this season he expertly delivered flashy moves and went toe to toe with the best in the form of Parvati, while also building relationships with everyone on the island and laying low as required. It was impressive, just not as impressive as the masterclass we witnessed from the third two-time winner. Though impressive enough to toast being runner-up with a piping hot bowl of Luke Discoki Fries.
While this is kind of like a bogan poutine, like Luke, the fries are so charming, you can’t help but like them. Better yet, they are way easier to make. Crunchy chips, gooey mozzarella and gravy, sign me up.
Enjoy!
Luke Discoki Fries Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 batches Jud Beerza Battered Fries 4 tbsp unsalted butter 2 shallots, minced 3 garlic cloves, minced sea salt and pepper ¼ cup flour 3 cups beef stock 2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce 250g mozzarella, grated parsley, for serving
Method Cook the fries per Jud’s recipe until they are golden and crunchy.
While that is happening, melt the butter in a saucepan over medium heat and saute the shallots and garlic for a couple of minutes. Season with a good whack of salt and pepper, before adding in the flour and cooking, stirring, for a further couple of minutes. Reduce heat to low and slowly whisk in the stock, followed by the Worcestershire. Season as required, and simmer for 5 minutes, or until rich and thickened.
To serve, pop your seasoned fries into a bowl and top with mozzarella, before pouring over the gravy. Sprinkle with parsley before devouring, greedily.
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Previously on Australian Survivor Luke faced off against the individual immunity challenge that cost him his spot in the last game. You know, the one that Janine dominated alongside the iconic Pia Miranda. But I digress. Feeling safe, Luke approached his ride or die Janine and pushed hard to get rid of Lisa, given it would force Cirie to stick with them and Parvati moving forward. As that was happening, Cirie and Lisa were busy catching up, heartbroken by the turn of events. Luke caught up with Parvati to further cement their trust, convincing her to rip up her advantage in the process. Before sending the forever reigning Queen of Survivor NZ out of the game with her second last bucket tick, having her torch snuffed. Assuming her last is voting for the winner.
The next day the tribe was delighted to have made the final five. None more so than Parvati, given she had a final four deal with Cirie, Luke and Janine and still had an idol in her pocket, should things go south. The latter joked about wanting to win immunity to guarantee some praise from her sons this season, with Shonee telling everyone that she’d also love a win before she goes. As she washed off, the remaining four hung around the shelter and spoke about the importance of guaranteeing Shonee does not win immunity. Talk turned to idols, with Parvati joking about how much glee she will take to play hers that night. Either for her orCirie.
Cirie and Parvati caught up and spoke about how grateful they were to be reunited after 17 years, with Parvati desperate to head to the end with Cirie and make up for the surprise final two in Micronesia. As they were reminiscing and being the best, Luke and Janine were busy pledging their undying loyalty to each other and while their first option is to go to the end with the Americans, they planned to pull Shonee aside to convince her that the plan is to get rid of Cirie. While I kind of assumed that Janine was playing the season to help Luke win, she caught up with Parvati and told her that they are solid in their final four alliance, but when it comes to four, her preference is to go to the end with the girls. And THIS is why I love Janine.
Shonee finally made a meaningful appearance as she told us that her best shot making it to the end is to join with Parvati and Cirie. Her first step was to catch up with Parvati and Janine, effortlessly getting Janine to talk about how successful she is and share that she routinely does keynote speeches – aka, would be great in front of a jury – while Shonee joked about her biggest fear being public speaking. And hot damn, is Shonee actually going to pull off a miracle and get out of this mess without even winning immunity?
Speaking of which, Jonathan arrived for the final five immunity challenge where they would use a pole to carry a monkey fist through obstacles before crossing a balance beam and using the monkey fist to release a second balance beam. Finally, they would walk through a trip obstacle to build a tower of blocks on a wobbly table at the end. Luke got out to the earliest of leads, with Shonee calmly nipping at his heels, followed by Parv, Janine and Cirie. Luke dropped on the balance beam allowing Shonee to take over, until Luke closed the gap and landed the monkey fist on the first go. Giving him a nice lead placing his blocks. When Parvati caught up with Shonee, Shon used it as an opportunity to float them going to the end together and uniting the eras. This gave her the motivation to make it to the final obstacle, as she worked overtime to close the gap with Luke. Parvati joined them just as Luke lost his stack, giving our Queen the lead and the space to take it slow and steady. The wind picked up and caused chaos, as Luke closed the gap while Shonee’s stack dropped. Parvati nipped at his heels, as he desperately tried to place his final block. Which he did, guaranteeing his place in the final four.
Seemingly dooming Shonee in the process.
Back at camp Janine was quick to congratulate Luke on his hat-trick, while Parvati seethed about him heading to tribal council with immunity and an idol. That being said, the final four all caught up and locked in their vote for Shonee and all seemed easy. Janine caught up with Parvati and Cirie without Luke, with the business icon fairly confident that Luke couldn’t lie and as such, he mustn’t have an idol. With Parvati hilariously telling her that she has a Survivor sense that maybe he does have one and suggested that she should go check. They caught up with him vehemently denying having the idol and when Janine gave up and let it go, they agreed to convince Shonee to throw a vote on Cirie to guarantee their safety.
Shonee meanwhile was confident that Parvati wouldn’t play an idol for Cirie this close to the end, and as such, decided that they needed to vote for her. Though she admitted to us that she doesn’t actually trust either Aussie, but can’t be choosy as to who she votes with as she is solo. She then caught up with Luke and asked whether he had an idol as he didn’t seem to actually care about his win. Sadly for them, this conversation occurred under the watchful eye of Cirie, who started to worry about what the Aussies could be planning. Particularly after Parvati dropped by to let her know that Luke has an idol and Janine doesn’t know about it, making them worry his plan was to play it for Shonee.
Luke and Janine were off washing the dishes, leaving Shonee to charm the US girls and joke about going to the final three together. She assured them that she is a lone ranger and as such, they can use her to guarantee their spots in the final three. Whereas should the duos go to the end together, they are likely to end up in a fire making challenge with the others. And she knows how shitty it feels to be in the final four with a bad set-up, and reminded them they need to play smart. After she exited, the Americans agreed that she isn’t wrong, however Cirie admitted to us that she would love to go to the end with Janine and Parvati, so is still voting Shonee.
Shonee then caught up with Luke, pointing out how close Janine is to the Americans and that going to the final four with them, he needs to win immunity to get to the end. After Janine reiterated to Parvati and Cirie that Luke definitely does not have an idol, she caught up with the Aussies, while Cirie spiralled about Luke doing something with it. As such, Parvati caught up with Luke, with him pretending he lied about having an idol to build trust and while Parvati joked that he tricked her, she admitted to us that she now wasn’t sure whether he was lying about the idol or not having one. While Luke told us that all the chaos has him thinking that maybe a wild play is the smartest and he should play his idol for Shonee and guarantee a loyal ally in the final four, rather than sticking with his alliance.
At tribal council Cirie admitted she wasn’t shocked that the final five were icons only, giving the entire merged tribe were icons in their own rights. And they likely would have eaten a goat if one was around. Luke spoke about needing to figure out who played a different game to his, given it would help him decide who to take to the end. After Parvati whipped out her idol, Luke pulled Janine aside and asked her to promise him that she will give him the opportunity to go to fire at the final four. And after she promised, he handed her immunity and pulled out his idol. Leaving Cirie and Shonee to feel mighty naked with no tricks up their sleeves. Parvati interrupted to let everyone know her idol is for both she and Cirie, and she intends to play it to guarantee they both make it to the end. With Luke pointing out that he could easily play his for Shonee too.
Janine admitted that she had no idea about Luke’s idol, but they have been aligned from Day 1, so isn’t concerned. Cirie agreed that the Aussies being up looked bad on paper, but she was confident in the trust she has built with them. While Shonee reminded everyone that as a loner, she is the perfect person to take to final four to guarantee them a place in the final three. Before Cirie, shockingly, suggested that this game is about proving that trusting people can get them all to the end. This spooked Luke, who started to whisper to Parvati whether everything is the same and while she assured him it was, he clearly looked ready to vom a little bit.
With that the tribe voted and while Luke was absolutely torn about what to do, he ultimately played his idol for himself as Parvati played hers for herself – well technically, they played them for each other but same same, no? – as poor, sweet, iconic, legendary Shonee was felled just before the finale. Breaking the heart of every Australian.
She followed my heaving, guttural sobs all the way to the Jury Villa where I pulled her in for another heartbroken hug. Given this is our fourth rodeo, Shonee knows exactly how to make me feel better, as that is yapping and being an icon. Something she does effortlessly. Just in case it isn’t a fact universally acknowledged, Shonee is indisputably the greatest Australian Survivor player to never win and as such, takes the number one slot in our Mount Rushmore. I mean, she has never gotten lower than a single digit and arguably could play 1000 times, and always make a deep run. Because she is likeable, funny and incredibly smart. But it is the first two which make her successful, because sometimes just wanting to be around someone is enough to dull the pain when you’re living in the jungle. As powerful as dulling the pain as a bowl of Shonudi Bowtell.
I had hoped this glorious recipe would be one dedicated to marking her victory, because honestly, it is just so damn good. Soft, pillowy gnudi pairs perfectly with the earthiness of the sage and salty goodness of the bacon. Making this perfect for a busy mum slash icon.
Enjoy!
Shonudi Bowtell Serves: 4.
Ingredients 375g smooth ricotta 50g parmesan, finely grated, plus extra to serve 2 eggs salt and pepper, to taste 150g flour, plus extra for dusting 4 rashers streaky bacon, diced 80g butter 12 sage leaves 1 tsp chilli flakes
Method Combine the ricotta, parmesan and eggs in a bowl until smooth. Slowly stir in the flour, along with a good whack of salt and pepper, until a sticky dough forms. Adding extra flour one tablespoon at a time.
Dust some flour on a flat surface and knead the dough until combined. Divide into four, and roll each into a 2cm wide sausage. Cut each sausage into 2cm pieces, getting about twenty per sausage. Plan on a lined baking sheet and leave to rest.
Get a pot of water on the stove to boil, and pop a skillet over medium heat.
While you wait for the water to do its thing, cook the bacon in the skillet until golden and crisp. Remove to drain on some kitchen towel. Add the butter to the pan and cook for a further few minutes, or until it starts to foam and turn golden. Add the sage and chilli, and cook for a minute or so, or until the sage is crispy.
By this point, the pot of water should be boiling. Working in four batches, cook the gnudi for a couple of minutes, or until they float to the top. Using a slotted spoon, transfer the gnudi to the butter and continue cooking until they are all done. Toss the gnudi and bacon through the butter mixture, and serve slathered in extra parmesan. Before devouring, like a GOAT.
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Previously on Australian Survivor the Aussies were well and truly on the bottom, with the internationals dominating immunity challenges and even venturing to the spa together. Speaking of which, while the latter trip was taking place, the trio broke the locked box and realised the internationals also held an idol, making them even more on the bottom. After Tommi won immunity, they appeared to be locked in to get rid of Shonee. Until he, Lisa and Kass floated getting rid of Parv instead. Whether the plan was ever true or not, it led to absolute chaos at tribal council as Luke left everything on the table as he outed all the secrets. After 1000s of chats, they eventually voted with Parvati pretending she could steal Kass’s idol after the vote, though let her play it when she was told she was playing it for Lisa. Allowing Parvati and Cirie’s switch to the Aussies to land, with Kass shown the door instead.
After Kass departed, JLP gagged the tribe by telling them that the pace of the game was not letting up, as tonight, they would be voting out another person from the game. And he had a little immunity challenge set up next to tribal council.
As such the tribe pivoted to the challenge where they would hold onto a rope to steady a wobbly table while racing to balance five balls on top. Shonee was quick to get her eye in, until JLP praised her and she lost balance. The same thing happened to Parvati, before Luke seemingly got his eye in and wasn’t distracted by JLP, as he got to work on his second ball. Tommi then started to nip at his heels, before he dropped. As everyone else continued to struggle, Luke stacked his third and fourth balls, while they all grew more and more frustrated. As JLP reminded them to not give up, as Luke could still drop. All while making plenty of ball puns, of course, because JLP is the best of us. After placing his fifth ball, Luke anxiously stepped back a centimetre at a time until he made it to his table and guaranteed his place in the final six.
Back at tribal council the rain started to pour down as Kass wandered back into tribal council to join the jury. Parvati mentioned that Luke winning immunity didn’t bother her, given that Tommi was clearly leading the blindside against her and as such, she would be voting for him. This fired up Tommi, who pleaded with the Aussies to return the favours he has been doing and get rid of one of Parvati and Cirie. The Aussies stood up to chat and agreed that voting for Tommi is the simplest, safest solution and as such, they needed to stick with him. After sitting down, Luke whispered to Janine that Lisa clearly wanted his head though, so maybe they should take her out instead. Before Tommi stood up and begged Luke to vote for Cirie.
Parvati mentioned that she drew a line in the sand back at camp before tribal council and as such, she was sticking with it for this vote too. Because it didn’t feel like Tommi was just betraying her, but locking in a blindside against her. Which seems like it is the same thing, but Parv is Parv, and I am not worthy enough to question her, TBH. This led to him begging Parvati to work with him. JLP then asked if anyone wanted to say anything, leading to Lisa putting up her hand and telling Jonathan that she regretted not sticking by her people in her winning season and as such, she wanted to do that tonight and would like to quit. Which honestly infuriated JLP, who couldn’t understand why she would want to do that with only five days remaining. Lisa explained that her main goal is for an international to win the season and that she honestly doesn’t think she has the best chance, Tommi does, and she would like to guarantee him one more shot.
Jonathan then pointed out that if she quits, she isn’t on the jury and they would still vote tonight, meaning Tommi could still go home. Which quickly made her change her tune. Tommi then whispered for him to vote for Cirie before the tribe voted. And despite Tommi’s best attempts, the Aussie/US coalition stuck together to send our sweet Fin Tommi from the game.
Given he was going by the name Tom(mi) of Finland, as soon as he arrived at the Jury Villa, I pulled him in for a massive hug, thanking him for playing such a solid game. And most importantly, for being an absolute babe. Despite not being shown much of the icon in the edit, it all makes sense, given he exited at the tail end of a chaotic double boot episode and they couldn’t break our hearts if we loved him more. What was clear from the season, however, is that he was clearly beloved by his tribemates, and like Kass before him, he won himself a fan and I desperately hope to see him again. And until then, we’ll always have Tommurice Manninen.
There are so many things that are magical about Japan – honestly, can someone fund my early retirement, so I can move there? – but the spectacle of omurice is among the greatest foods. Well, foods that aren’t sold in a konbini. Soft, jiggly eggs, spicy fried rice and a rich sauce – it is probably not the fanciest food, but it is definitely among the tastiest.
Enjoy!
Tommurice Manninen Serves: 2.
Ingredients 1 tbsp unsalted butter ½ an onion, finely diced 1 chicken breast, thinly sliced kosher salt and pepper, to taste 6 tbsp ketchup 1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce 2 tbsp soy sauce 1 tbsp mirin 2 cups cooked Japanese short-grain rice ⅓ cup peas 3 ½ tbsp vegetable oil 1 tbsp plain flour 1 tbsp tonkatsu sauce 1 tbsp honey ¾ cup water 6 tbsp milk 6 large eggs 2 tbsp double cream
Method Pop the unsalted butter in a large frying pan over medium heat and sweat the onion for a few minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the chicken, along with a good whack of salt and pepper, and cook for five minutes, or until cooked through. Stir in one tablespoon of the ketchup, Worcestershire, soy and mirin, and bring to a simmer. Reduce heat to low, stir in the rice and peas, and cook until heated through and the rice is perfectly coloured. Cover and leave to rest.
Meanwhile, combine the remaining ketchup and soy with the tonkatsu sauce, honey, water and two tablespoons of milk in a bowl. Heat one and a half tablespoons of vegetable oil in a saucepan over medium heat and once warm, whisk in the flour, and cook until a nice, brown roux forms. About five minutes. Reduce heat to low and slowly whisk in the jug and cook for a further five minutes or so, or until rich and thick. Set aside.
Whisk the eggs with the remaining milk, cream and a good whack of salt and pepper. Add the remaining oil to a clean frying pan over medium heat. Once shimmering, add the egg mixture and vigorously stir and scramble with chopsticks for about a minute, or until half cooked. Give the pan a shake to even out the curds, before allowing the base to set for 15 seconds or so, before immediately using the chopsticks to gently roll the eggs on top of themselves to form a thick parcel. Cook seam side down for 30 seconds, before removing from the heat.
To serve, portion the rice in the middle of a plate, top with the soft omelette and then drizzle generously with the sauce. Before devouring with your newest bestie.
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Previously on Australian Survivor the tribes finally merged, with lines drawn neatly down the middle with five a piece. They celebrated the milestone with a classic Survivor auction, where Luke won the power to send someone back to camp before it even truly began. And despite Parvati giving him ample opportunities to change his mind and not make an enemy of her, she was the unlucky individual. Or as she thought, as she arrived at camp to find a large jar of cookies. And when she accidentally smashed them while trying to bury them, was even more delighted to find a Steal a Vote advantage. Despite all that excitement, the immunity challenge was cancelled due to a wild lightning storm, so the last four standing drew rocks with Tommi the lucky one to ‘win’ the first individual immunity. Back at camp Luke desperately tried to keep the Aussies together, though Kirby had other ideas, flipping to Parvati and Cirie with Shonee, and blindsiding her former ride or die Sarah in the process. Officially making her the Queen of the Jury, as she – and the audience, TBH – deserves.
Back at camp Luke quickly congratulated everyone on the spicy little blindside, despite clearly being pissed about the turn of events. Kirby pulled him aside to tell him that she had actually told him she threw out Sarah’s name, so he shouldn’t be shocked or upset, which only made him angrier. Leading he and Janine to catch up over their mutual rage, confirming the Aussie alliance is dead and that they will work with whoever it takes to carry the two of them to the end.
The tribe awoke the next day to more rain, as Kirby and Parvati flirted and couple-dressed. Kirby told us that she is all in on her alliance with Parvati, as she desperately wants to go to the end with the best of the best. The duo then caught up in the jungle with both of them playfully talking about not being sure if the other trusts them, though Kirby continued to assure her that she’d love to go to the end with her and Cirie. Which was music to Parvati’s ears, as she just wanted to get to the end, given it is so unlikely as the biggest target remaining. Parvati then caught up with Lisa, whispering about not wanting to be seen talking to each other in front of Luke and Janine as the duo were way too shifty. While pissed off Lisa, as she caught up with Kass about feeling like they have been cast aside for Shonee and Kirby.
Janine meanwhile was pissed about Kirby putting all the Aussies on the bottom, well her and Luke at least, so they split up to find a crack in the World tribe. First Janine got to work on Parvati, assuring her that she would love to work with her and Cirie, before casually digging for intel on Kass and pretending that Kass had been laying the groundwork to pull off a Parvati blindside. And whether it is true or not, the fact that Janine is orchestrating it makes me so happy. Particularly since George was saying she didn’t deserve to be here, when she does. She is an ICON.
The tribe met up with Jonthan for the latest immunity challenge where they would each have to stand on a box and hold up two weighted beams with the last person standing jagging individual immunity. And a mystery scroll. Everyone tried to take their places, with Shonee and Lisa struggling to even get started given they were so heavy. Surprisingly they lasted a minute, which is not something Cirie can say as she became the first to drop. She was followed by Janine and Lisa, as Shonee continued to struggle before finally dropping at the two minute mark. Luke was squirming and moaning for ages, though managed to hold on for five minutes, dropping just after Tommi. Kirby, Kass and Parvati continued to fight, with the latter two literally just standing like statues. While Lisa sweetly praised Parvati for being so strong. After ten minutes Kirby dropped, leaving the battle of the challenge beasts with Kass super chill, while Parvati squirmed back and forth before dropping at 15 minutes, handing Kass immunity. And the scroll, which JLP told her she wasn’t allowed to read until tomorrowmorning.
Back at camp everyone praised Kass for being so strong, questioning where she has trained to become such a beast. Parvati meanwhile was devastated, worried about Kass being immune and potentially coming for her. Thankfully she pulled her aside, telling her that she is so nervous to not be immune because she has heard that Kass had been throwing her name around. After Kass assured her it was all a lie, they agreed to stay World strong. Parv immediately caught up with Kirby, with the latter pledging her undying loyalty and assuring her that she hasn’t heard anything. And will protect her, promising to never write each other’s name down. They then locked in a plan to get rid of Lisa and Tommi, before Kirby approached Luke and Janine to loop them in. Which they were obviously keen on.
Shonee meanwhile was thrilled to have given the public what they wanted by voting with Parvati last tribal council, though could see that Kirby’s fan girling over Parv was getting a bit much. As such, she caught up with Luke and agreed that she would be thrilled to work together to get rid of Cirie instead. After giggling about having a little bit of fun, Luke pulled Lisa and Kass aside to see if they would be interested in working with them. Skillfully telling them he would happily get rid of Kirby or Cirie, whoever they preferred. Janine meanwhile was disappointed that Kass was now immune after all of her maneuvering, so caught up with Cirie and Kirby to lock in a Lisa vote instead. Before Kirby disappeared and the duo quickly started talking shit about her, before agreeing that it would make more sense to get rid of her instead. Though Cirie admitted she was nervous about missing the shot, because Kirby would clearly target them instead if she survives.
Before she admitted to us that she is frankly just terrified of all of the Aussies as they play hard.
Lisa and Kass caught up with Cirie, with the latter telling them about Janine’s plans, while Kass told her that Shonee and Luke were throwing out her name. Cirie then went to loop in Parvati, assuring her that she trusts Janine wholeheartedly, particularly since Kirby has already voted out her number one in Sarah. While Parvati was concerned about whether she could trust Kass moving forward. And the fact she promised not to vote Kirby out. Kass then caught up with Parvati, throwing out Kirby as an option and just as Parvati looked to be locking in the plan, Kirby arrived and pulled her aside. She then got a little paranoid about Parv turning on her, before confirming she won’t come for her. Though admitted to us that she feels like she is going to betray one of Kirby or Cirie, and that makes her nervous. And when Kirby mentioned that she has trust issues after Feras went back on his promise to play his idol for her, it gave Parvati the idea to do the same, as she would then have a very grateful and loyal ally in her corner.
At tribal council Lisa spoke about how chaotic it was on the beach that afternoon, with Cirie agreeing that she is even finding things moving way too fast and this is her fifth rodeo. Luke then explained everything that happened at the last tribal council, outing Kirby for blowing up the Aussie alliance and for being the reason that Sarah is on the jury. To her credit, Kirby backed her move and said you have to make a move when you can, more importantly, before the other person does, and she knew Sarah would strike eventually. With Janine agreeing that it did make sense. Cirie meanwhile wasn’t sure whether you can ever trust that conversations are true in the game, given people could be trying to play you. While Lisa joked that she tries not to lie, just flim flam. While Kass admitted she definitely cannot lie in English.
As talk went back to Kirby turning on her ride or die, she joked everyone should stop talking about it. She admitted she was hopeful that Sarah could still reward a good move if she made it to the end, because she could have easily made it against Kirby first. Cirie meanwhile was hoping to get some clarity after the vote, while Kirby was committed to doing what she said to her allies back at camp, while Parvati was just wanting to solidify her trust with someone and, ideally, clear a path to the end. With that the tribe voted and after a couple landed on Cirie and Lisa, Janine banded with the World tribe – Parvati included – to send Kirby out of the game to join her former ride or die on the jury.
To say that Kirby was emotional to be voted out, particularly by Parvatai, was an understatement. But to her credit, she took it in her stride and knew that she was fast becoming one of the biggest targets. And that is in no small part due to the fact that she plays hard, always opts to take the big move and frankly, is deadly. In all meanings of the word. So I pulled her in for a massive hug and tried to wash away the bitterness with a big batch of Brookirby Bentley.
Yeah, yeah – this is kinda, sorta a cheats recipe. But when it is this good, you can’t be made. Simply a brownie dotted with cookie dough, combining the two seems to elevate them to somewhere godly. And oh so delicious.
Enjoy!
Brookirby Bentley Serves: 8.
Ingredients 3 cups flour ½ tsp kosher salt 125g dark chocolate, roughly chopped 250g unsalted butter, at room temperature 1 ½ cup muscovado sugar ¾ cup raw caster sugar 3 eggs 1 tbsp vanilla extract 2 tsp baking powder 200g milk chocolate chips
Method Preheat the oven to 160C and 1 cup of flour and the salt into a large bowl and leave aside.
In a double boiler, melt the dark chocolate and half the butter until smooth and glossy. Remove from the heat and stir in half the muscovado sugar and all the caster sugar until combined. One at a time, whisk in two eggs until the mixture comes back together before folding in the flour and salt.
Pour the batter into a lined 25cm square cake tin and leave to rest while you prep the cookie dough.
Place the remaining butter and muscovado sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer and beat until thick and creamy. Add the egg and vanilla and continue to beat for a further minute, or until it just comes together.
Remove from the mixer and fold through the remaining flour and baking powder. Again, when just together, fold through the chocolate chips.
Dot the cookie dough over the brownies, spreading and smooshing to your heart’s desire. Pop into the oven to bake for 20-30 minutes, or until just set in the middle. And by just set, just set. Remove from the oven to cool in the pan for an hour before carving and devouring.
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Previously on Australian Survivor seven of the best Aussies were thrown into battle against seven of the best from around the globe, with us seeing big names go out back to back to back in the form of Rob, David and George. JLP then decided to spice up the Mother convention by switching things up with individual immunity for each tribe, as both tribes would attend the next tribal council. With Shonee months out from giving birth, she couldn’t jag victory in one of her signature challenges, leaving Sarah to take out victory for the Aussies. While all the internationals were still fighting until Parvati narrowly snagged victory for the World over Kass. Back at camp, Shonee found herself the Aussie target while the World tribe were torn between Tony and Tommi. At tribal council, Jonathan explained that one tribe would only be at tribal council temporarily, as a fire making challenge would decide which stays. Repeating history, poor Cirie was defeated, this time by Sarah, leading to an explosive World tribal council where Tony and Parv went to town, before the Black Widow felled the two-time champ.
And jagged the hidden immunity idol as everyone exited, even getting JLP to mind her torch while she looked.
Back at camp the new Black Widow Brigade were delighted to have survived tribal council, particularly one that was as wild and chaotic as Tony with his back against the wall. Parvati in particular was thrilled to have been able to jag the hidden immunity without anyone even noticing. Cirie was quick to remind them that while they were glad to see Tony go, she would still far prefer to be going into the merge with a 6-4 advantage, rather than being even with the Aussies. Though Kass didn’t really mind, given she, Tommi and Lisa had the power in their current tribe. And even though she knows she can’t trust Parvati long term, she will fight tooth and nail to stay in the numbers at the first merge vote.
Right on cue, the tribes met up with Jonathan the next day for a cheeky little auction, with a side of merge buffs because they have officially merged. Everyone dropped their old stinky buffs and popped on with their new ones, with Parvati immediately nervous about being the biggest target left with Tony gone. Shonee meanwhile was thrilled to be the first Aussie to make the merge four times in a row, even though she knew that the Aussies were intending to get rid of her last night, and as such, wants anyone to go except for Kirby.
JLP checked in with Lisa, who broke down about how excited she was to make the merge again. She didn’t really elaborate though, as the auction kicked off – sweet Tommi’s first! The first item was a scroll, with him quickly bidding all of his money. Kirby grew nervous and was going to buy in with rocks, and while she declined, Lukewas in. With the King of the Jungle coming out on top of the rock draw, opening the scroll in front of the merge tribe and learning that he just bought himself the power to send someone straight back to camp, promptly booting Parv and putting a massive target on his back. With her promising that it will definitely come back to bite him. She then counted down from 5 to allow him the chance to change his mind, however he didn’t, and just like that, an enemy was made.
With the iconic Black Widow alone at camp to simmer in her rage, JLP pulled out a rack of ribs and a beer which went to Shonee for $480. A heavy covered item went to Kirby for $500 after a bidding war with Sarah, which was revealed to be a big glass jar of popcorn. Similar to Ray’s famed one from Kirby’s OG season, which resulted in a massive advantage for the owner. Though seemingly had nothing this time. A club sandwich and a coke almost went to Shonee for $20, before Lisa jumped in and won it for $40. Another heavy, covered item went to Sarah which was a massive chocolate cake which she could not share. Oh and then it was over, just like that.
We followed Parvati back to camp where she was continuing to rage about Luke coming for her, feeling like he targeted her for being the biggest threat. Things quickly got better, however, when she found a massive jar of cookies, giving her the option to share them with the tribe or keep them to herself. With her grateful to keep them a secret. Well, until she tried to bury them and shattered the jar in the process. Though that did prove to be helpful, given an advantage was hidden amongst them, granting her the power to snatch someone’s idol at tribal council.
The tribe joined her just as she had finished disposing of all the evidence, allowing plenty of time for everyone to get to know each other. Tommi shared that he was hoping to get a win for Finland, while Luke wasn’t too concerned about making an enemy of Parv as the Aussies will stick together and have his back. Right on cue, we checked in with Kirby who was busy making friends with all of the World players. Luke then praised Cirie, while Parvati told Shonee she loves following her on Instagram, and honestly, this still feels like an absolute fever dream. Kirby finally caught up to Parvati, promising her that she is still keen to work with her, with the Black Widow pretending she is on the outs of her tribe and only survived because she was immune. Kirby assured her that unlike Luke, she isn’t scared of her, and wants to play with the best and as such, she wants to work with her and Cirie. With both of the US girls promising they were equally keen to work with her. Cirie threw out that she would love to work with Shonee, before Kirby said that is great, but she doesn’t think they can work with Sarah anymore as she is clearly threatened by the big players.
Kirby pulled Shonee aside to see how she was feeling about Sarah, with them agreeing that she clearly has no interest in working with them, and as such they were both keen to jump ship to Cirie and Parvati. Though Shonee cautioned that they need to make sure Sarah doesn’t get to them first. As such, we pivoted to Sarah telling Parvati that Kirby can’t be trusted and she doesn’t like threats and as such, they need to get rid of her ASAP. Parv and Cirie compared notes, realising that one of them was lying to them and while Parv wanted to work with Kirby – who she thinks is a Black Mamba – she got the vibe that Sarah’s story had more truth. Or at the very least, she was a mutual friend of David’s and mentioning him may have played into some biases. But I digress.
The newly formed Moorditj tribe met up with JLP for the first (true) individual immunity of the season – the iconic Last Gasp. Aka the one where they would each hold onto a grate in the middle of the ocean as the tide rises, with the last person left underwater winning. As the tide rose, the rain started to pour down, costing Lisa her place after just 10 minutes. She was quickly followed by Cirie, before Kirby and Parvati pulled the plug after 15 minutes, with Shonee not long after that. After 30 minutes the rain started to pelt down as a wild lightning storm raged around them. This cost Sarah her place, while the sitouts huddled under JLP’s platform and willed the challenge to just end. Which it did at 40 minutes, as the storm became too wild and production had to step in and send everyone back to shore as the lightning had started inching towards them in the water.
After the storm cleared, JLP announced that because they couldn’t finish the challenge, the four that were still in the game had two options. Agree to draw rocks for the necklace and one of them gets it, otherwise nobody is immune at the merge tribal council. And given it isn’t really a choice, they all drew rocks resulting in Tommi winning immunity. Technically.
They returned to camp just as the rain kicked back in, and while Tommi was delighted to be immune, he admitted that he definitely would have preferred to win it outright. Luke made jokes asking everyone to not vote him out, pulling Janine aside to come up with a plan to stick Aussie strong and take out Kass as the safest option. With that, they pulled Sarah and Shonee aside to float the idea, with Sarah begging them to say Lisa instead to safeguard around an idol play. While telling Lisa that Parvati was the target in the hope that she’d like to take out a massive threat and split from the World tribe. Speaking of Lisa, she was struggling to strategise, given the rain didn’t give them any opportunity to talk privately. Thankfully she, Kass and Tommi were able to make a run to throw out a plan, with World wanting to stick together and target someone that most of the Aussies wouldn’t want to go to rocks, settling on Janine. Which Cirie was equally keen on.
Sarah and Shonee caught up with Parvati and Cirie, with Sarah floating getting rid of Lisa. And while they all agreed, after Cirie and Sarah disappeared, Shonee lingered back with Parvati to give the public what they want, locking in an alliance and assuring us that she doesn’t care for the Aussies and is happy to take control. With Kirby joining them and throwing out Sarah’s name instead. And while Parvati was a little confused about Kirby turning on her former ride or die, she was also happy to vote out anyone that wasn’t her. Despite it being a massive red flag to blindside an ally. Cirie returned, happy to go wherever the numbers are, particularly after Shonee assured her that she would be down.
Cirie told us that all she really cares about is protecting the World tribe, so she looped in Lisa, Kass and Tommi on the plan, with the internationals concerned about doing whatever Kirby is saying because it could just as easily be a trap. Which Cirie agreed with, though pointed out that if Kirby is telling the truth and votes for Sarah, and the World tribe stick together, they can dictate who goes either way. Kirby meanwhile caught up with Luke and admitted that Parvati and Cirie are planning to go for Sarah, and she would be tempted to join them. Which panicked Luke, assuring her that when Sarah tries to turn on her, he will know and he will protect her, so she needs to hold firm with the Aussies for now. Finally, the Aussies came back together, agreeing to vote together and that they would be willing to go to rocks should they need to.
At tribal council Luke spoke about how hard it was to lose immunity due to mother nature, while Kass was excited they were all finally together. Despite hearing way too many names back at camp, begging the question, are the Aussies full of cracks or full of liars. Sarah meanwhile was just hopeful that the people she was speaking to were telling the truth. Kirby spoke about making new friends because it is a new game, and that they all should be looking at options if they want to make it to the end. While Janine reminded everyone how important tonight is at setting up the end game. Cirie suggested that it is less about choosing who to ride with and more about weeding out the toxic relationships. While Parv spoke about how desperately nobody wants to go to rocks, and as such, everyone has been struggling with the choice, given the OG tribes were even.
Shonee spoke about how great a merge is at saving people that were seemingly on the outs and admitted that she could be popular with the new people. Kirby spoke about the vote being about building trust, while Parv was happy to go to war with a rival alliance, should there be one. Lisa started to get spooked that the Aussies would play an idol for Sarah based on the conversations, with her, Cirie and Kass debating the merits of voting Kirby or Sarah, worried about the idol which is actually in Luke’s pocket and will only be played for him. With that the tribe voted and after three votes piled up on Janine, three landed on Kass before the rest came in for Sarah, sending her from the game as the Queen of the Jury.
Despite the heartbreak of finding herself booted from the game, the Aussie’s resident superfan took it in her stride, admitting that she didn’t play her best game this season and as such, wasn’t surprised Kirby turned on her. I pulled her in for a massive hug and thanked her for finally coming back to the game given, IMO, she was a glaring omission from every single returning player season we’ve had thus far. And while she was felled early, she more than proved me right. As such, we toasted her Mother status as we smashed a big ol’ Schnitzzarah Tilleke.
While I think I cursed her on a technicality, this is so damn good – and massive, it was hard for her to hold a grudge. You could argue it is kind of a mega parmi, given it is simply a bunch of schnitzels pushed together to form a base, slathered in sauce and topped with pizza fixin’s – to quote Jeff. But whatever name you choose to use, all that matters is that it is delicious.
Enjoy!
Schnitzzarah Tilleke Serves: 2 former models slash best friends.
Ingredients 1 cup panko breadcrumbs 1 cup flour salt and pepper, to taste 2 eggs, whisked 2 chicken breasts, cut in half lengthways olive oil 1 cup Amber Marinara Sauce 1 cup mozzarella cheese, grated ¼ cup pineapple pieces 3 mushrooms, sliced ½ a capsicum, sliced ½ a red onion, sliced 3 tbsp olives, sliced shallots, to top
Method Preheat the oven to 180C, and place the breadcrumbs in a dish, the flour in another with a good whack of salt and pepper, and the eggs in a third. Working one at a time, dip the chicken in the flour, followed by the egg and finally the breadcrumbs to full coat.
Pop the coated chicken onto a pizza tray and press together to form a circular disc, and spritz with some olive oil. Transfer to the oven and bake for 30 minutes, or until crisp and cooked through.
Once the schnitzel is cooked through, remove from the oven and smear with the marinara sauce. Sprinkle a little bit of cheese over the top, before dotting with the pineapple, mushrooms, capsicum and red onion, before giving another generous sprinkling of cheese. Transfer to the oven to bake for a further 15 minutes, or until the cheese is golden and crisp. Sprinkle with fresh shallots before devouring, like the Queen that you are.
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Previously on Australian Survivor Kaelan had a record breaking win at the immunity challenge, unwittingly ruining Myles’ plan to blindside him in the process. AJ meanwhile was growing more and more aware that Kaelan wasn’t in anyone’s endgame but his, so tried to convince him that Kate needed to stay to guarantee that he and AJ have the numbers, as Kate will always be more of a target. Sadly for AJ, Zara put her foot down and wouldn’t budge as Kate is her only remaining competition in the endurance challenges. Like say, the final immunity. At tribal council, JLP surprised everyone with a second immunity challenge, which was obviously won by Kate thwarting their plans and forcing Morgan out the door. Basically.
The next day the final five awoke, once again thrilled to be so close to the end. Zara in particular was proud to have made it so far. Though was also aware that this is where the Postgraduates would likely have to break up, given they could pair up and work with Kate to take control and get to the final three. Right on cue, Myles joined her by the shore to float the idea of getting rid of AJ next, given they would easily be able to get Kaelan to work with them to get rid of Kate at the final four, given he already wants her gone. Though given he mentioned the jury’s face when he betrays AJ, it is unlikely Zara would get onboard as it isn’t a move for her. Wait, no, she confirmed to us that she needs a big flashy move, so was happy to follow Myles’ chaos. Sadly for her though, Myles was pitching the plan to Zara for no other reason than he can beat her in the final two.
Let’s pause here to say that given we’ve locked in a plan in the first five minutes, it is clear AJ is winning immunity tonight, no?
Back at camp Myles got to work making a fire, opening up to us that he wanted to use his idol to guarantee his place in the final four, as it expires tonight. He then talked to AJ about the fact that Morgan going home put an end to his plan to get rid of Kaelan, so was all in on getting rid of Kate tonight. AJ then went straight to Kaelan to let him know that he was clearly the target, and as such, Kaelan and AJ needed to pull in Kate to take Myles out instead. AJ then caught up with Zara, with him pointing out that he knows Myles is gunning for Kaelan and as such, they just needed to get him out instead. Filling Zara and Myles with confidence that nothing will get in the way of their plan, given AJ was so focused on Kaelan being in trouble that he couldn’t see what was right in front of him.
You know that that means, right? JLP arrived for the immunity challenge where they would have to use a pole to carry blocks over a trip obstacle and build a tower of 12 blocks. Simple, but oh so difficult. And also a little boring to recap. Despite being ripped and therefore huge when squeezing under an obstacle, Kaelan got out to an early lead. Though his size eventually got in the way, as he just as quickly dropped. AJ too was struggling, while Kate, Myles and Zara made the most of their smaller frames. Kate continued to power ahead until she lost them all, allowing Kaelan to close the gap and take the lead once again. While Zara continued her slow and steady approach from each and every challenge. Kaelan dropped while placing his eleventh block, putting Myles and Zara back in the lead, while AJ – who I predicted twice would win immunity, just kept dropping. The duo raced to place their final two blocks, with Myles dropping on the final one allowing Zara to gently place it, finally having her slow and steady strategy jag her the win.
Back at camp Zara continued her episode of vibing, thrilled to be immune and ready to use that safety to make a major, resume building move. Despite the nerves. She and Myles caught up, locking in their vote for AJ, and asking Kate to vote Kaelan so they can throw her under the bus at four and keep Kaelan voting with them. Zara went back to camp while Myles went to talk to Kate, asking if she would be keen to vote Kaelan. And given the other option was herself, she obviously agreed. His plan, however, was for things to end up tied between Kate and AJ with a random vote for Kaelan, and on the revote, they would take out AJ. But it feels like something will fall apart, right? Zara then caught up with Kaelan, who begged her to save him in return for him protecting her at four. Kaelan’s plan was to get them to split between Kate and Myles, and try to bait Myles into playing his idol incorrectly to get rid of him instead. Knowing that Myles had an idol, AJ knew that he needed to have Kate onboard, so pulled her aside and locked in her vote for Myles.
AJ and Zara then caught up by the fire, with AJ still completely sure that Kaelan was in trouble. She agreed he should be nervous, though assured AJ if they just stay calm, all will be okay. Zara then disappeared to talk to Kate, who said that Myles had told her to vote for Kaelan, so she would. Rather than be happy that the plan looked to be coming together, Zara realised that everyone was planning to vote for someone different and as such, she could literally decide who to vote out at tribal council. Meaning we’re actually getting a boring Kate vote, aren’t we? Zara, I was rooting for you!
Zara went to Kaelan to talk through his plan, before catching up with Myles who admitted he is actually kind of sad about voting out AJ. He then confirmed with Zara that he told Kate to vote Kaelan, and while that appeared to calm her, she started to get paranoid about how she could get to the final two. AJ and Myles finally caught up, with AJ begging him to just play the idol for himself, then making a joke about Myles not voting for him. And seeing the unconditional trust and support from AJ made Myles breakdown in confessional, upset about putting an end to his allies’ dreams. But he knew he had to, if he wanted to live out his.
At tribal council the jury arrived sans Morgan who JLP shared had opted to quit the jury and head home, explaining her terrible edit. Zara quickly got us back on track, talking about how thrilled she was to take out immunity and have some free time on her hands. Kate on the other hand was terrified about going home. Myles mentioned that tribal lines don’t mean anything anymore, and that they were all focused on making it to the end. Zara agreed that they’ve all run all of the numbers, while Kaelan admitted he is super nervous to be without immunity for once. Zara spoke about how her game has focused on different skills, though it has left her without a shiny move to pitch to the jury. And she is done playing babysitter to Myles and office manager to AJ. Though trust and believe, JLP, she didn’t decide to make the move she is making tonight just because she is immune. Kaelan agreed he wouldn’t be shocked if people made a crack at him, while Myles believed tonight’s vote would ultimately be a 500K decision for someone.
AJ was more hopeful though, sure that there are multiple different paths to the end, while Kate quoted Chenbot from US Big Brother and told everyone to expect the unexpected. Myles mentioned it is important to know who you want to sit next to at the end, though it doesn’t mean you need to get those that you don’t want to sit next to out tonight. Plus, some people already have some solid resumes and as such, sticking with the plan could actually be the best move. Though the plan was to get to four and from tomorrow, they’re there and will need numbers. With that the tribe voted – everyone for a different person – before Zara cast the deciding vote, which after Myles played his idol, we were gagged to learn was Kate. Much to the shock and disappointment of the jury, everyone at home and Myles, who showed his cards with AJ.
Given Kate is an absolute ball of joy and energy, she was still a vibe queen as she arrived at the Jury Villa. I pulled her in for a massive hug and thanked her for bringing the lightness and fun throughout the season. While it was kind of boring to see the Postgraduates steamroll after the Logan vote, the last few rounds have still been interesting as Kate never gave up and was throwing everything at the wall. Which is how an icon behaves, TBH. And that alone is all it takes to earn her bodyweight in Kate Gloueerchis.
I first learned of beer cheese from Vanderpump Rules’ very own Kentucky Muffin Brittany Cartwright. And while I firmly question her taste in men, her taste in comfort food is on point. Rich and gooey, this may not be meemaw’s recipe, but it is still delicious on just about anything.
Enjoy!
Kate Gloueerchis Serves: 2 good friends. No, 2 *best* friends.
Ingredients 3 tbsp unsalted butter 3 tbsp flour ½ tsp garlic powder ½ tsp chilli powder ¼ tsp smoked paprika ¾ cup milk ⅔ cup beer 1 tsp Worcestershire sauce 1 tsp dijon mustard ¼ tsp salt pepper, to taste 2 ½ cups vintage cheddar cheese, grated
Method Pop the butter in a medium saucepan over medium heat and once foamy, add the flour, garlic powder, chilli powder and smoked paprika, and whisk together until it forms a paste. Remove from the heat and slowly whisk in the milk, before returning to the heat and cooking for a minute. Whisk in the beer, Worcestershire, dijon, salt, and a good whack of pepper.
Remove from the heat and stir through the cheese until combined. Serve immediately and devour with crudités. Or my personal choice, some Buffally Chicks in Blankettle.
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Previously on Australian Survivor to make up for the sea of Kaelan related medevacs, we had one final – hopefully – non-elimination round, where the tribe were split into two ahead of the next immunity challenge. Think new-era earn the merge, but fractionally less stupid. For winning immunity, Morgan immediately landed on the lush Bounty tribe and brought along her bestie Morgan, while the tribe voted Paulie and Logan to Barren. The remaining players then had to draw rocks to learn whether they’d be miserable or living it up. Kate and Zara made the Bounty fivesome immune, so literally everyone decided now was time to get rid of Myles. AJ, obviously, warned him to play his idol, while Karin grew suspicious about how zen AJ was prior to tribal council due to the fact he always spirals and comes up with 100 new plans in the hours ahead. As such, she led a split on Paulie which tragically cost our zaddy his place.
Back at camp everyone congratulated Myles on another successful idol play, while Logan pointed out she really needed to catch up with him, reminding everyone she also is an idol queen. Despite being back on the bottom, Myles’ spirits were high. Zara and Karin, meanwhile, were irate, talking to Kristin about how infuriating it is to come up with a gameplan and then every single time they get back from the immunity challenge, the boys grow paranoid and decided to flip things up arbitrarily, confusing and infuriating all of their allies. And while as an audience member, I say suck it up, it would also be driving me mental if I was on the island.
The next day things were moderately more zen as everyone sat around the fire and cooked breakfast. Kristin and Kaelan continued to vibe, before we continued to learn more about Kaelan’s under the radar game. He shared that while Zara and Karin, Kate and Morgan and AJ and Myles were all obviously paired up, he is essentially paired up with three people and as such, is now the most powerful person in camp. He caught up with Myles, and then AJ, to talk about how dangerous Karin is, given she is the one that pushed for getting rid of Myles and is growing to be too confident. And oh my god, is Kaelan actually playing a strong game?
Not to be outdone, Karin was feeling confident in her ability to make moves without being noticed, but given she listed wanting to get rid of Kate, then AJ, then Myles to Kaelan, it feels like Karin is now in trouble. Particularly given she thinks Kaelan is just as tight with her as Zara and Kristen. Knowing she needed to get some people onboard to get rid of Kate, she sent Zara to float the idea with AJ who immediately agreed that she is too good at challenges and is too likeable. Though obviously AJ wasn’t actually keen, given she and Morgan were effectively his shields. He looped them in that Zara and Karin are still coming for them, and told them they need to get rid of Karin to free up her allies and protect them all the way to final tribal council.
My love Jonathan arrived for the reward challenge where they would be paired up to hold a rope to keep a platform stable while stacking blocks with the first to stack their blocks and make them fall like dominoes getting a spit roast and ugh, I miss Paulie so damn much. I mean, Paulie and a spit roast are literally goals, but I digress. Oh and someone would just be sitting out and that someone was Logan after drawing the odd rock. Kinda proving that she is being kicked while she is down just as often as our zaddy. But back to the challenge. Kaelan and Morgan seemed like early favourites, while Kristin and AJ appeared to be screwed given he dropped on his first block. Zara and Kate meanwhile were playing it slow and steady, while Myles just continued to chatter while Karin ignored him. AJ dropped a block by his foot and for some reason, Logan talked him through picking it up and are they now friends?
In any event, Kaelan and Morgan were first to line up their blocks, before Kaelan knocked a single one off, allowing Karin and Myles, and AJ and Kristin to close the gap and secure their ropes before triggering the dominoes. It was literally the slowest race ever before they ran up and then lost, allowing Kaelan and Morgan to knock their stack and miss just at the end. Karin then lost all her blocks before Myles whispered to her and knocked off his. Zara and Kate meanwhile continued to take their time perfecting their placements, allowing AJ and Kristin to try one final time, knocking them all and putting everyone out of their misery. Obviously they were allowed to pick two people, selecting Kaelan who hasn’t had many rewards and Logan for surviving Barren beach.
And while Karin was disappointed to miss out, she was also confident that lamb wouldn’t be enough to woo Logan to AJ’s side. Meaning lamb will totally woo her, no?
We followed the victors back to their feast and ugh, it looked kind of delicious. I mean, lamb and wine? It was perfect. Kaelan spoke about it being the best experience of his life before he and Logan shared how grateful they were to be brought along. Kristin was just focussed on the wine, while AJ waited for someone to float an idea for the next vote, with Logan – maybe emboldened by the wine – suggesting they should all band together and get rid of Karin, given she is playing all sides and more controlling than Kate and Morgan. And while Kristin was concerned about Kate being a threat, she agreed they were right to get Karin out first. They agreed Myles should not be told about it, so locked in three of them voting for Karin, while Kristin, Kate and Morgan would vote for Zara, so Kristin could pretend that she was still with Karin should she play an idol.
Oh and then they locked in a final four alliance.
That night they went back to camp with Kaelan showing off his full tummy – genuinely, hot – before AJ pulled Kate and Morgan aside to loop them in on the new plan. While Kaelan told us that he has been playing the long game all season and while people think he is an idiot, he has actually been accumulating all the information and allies and as such, he knows that if he and AJ just keep their numbers in place for the next two votes, they are free to ride it out to the end.
The tribe joined Jonathan by the jungle for the latest immunity challenge where they would each balance on a barrel and roll it along a track before standing it up and landing three sandbags on top, with the first five moving on to stage two. In that round, they would have to land a monkey fist and use the rope to help them across a balance beam. Only three would move on then, climbing over a wall and then solving a puzzle for the win. Logan and Kaelan quickly pulled ahead on the first phase, with AJ and Kristin soon joining the fun. AJ was first to land a sandbag before Kaelan scored a hatrick. He then moved on to the second phase with AJ and then Morgan nipping at his heels. Kaelan finally got his eye in and landed her monkeyfist, powering over the balance beam and the wall, and getting to work on the puzzle. Logan and Kristin rounded out phase two, while Kaelan continued to work on the puzzle by himself, whispering to JLP that he doesn’t want him to talk about how quickly he is solving the puzzle as he doesn’t want anyone to know he is good at them and damn, is this a winner’s edit emerging? Morgan finally joined him with only a few pieces left to place. And while AJ also joined them, it was kinda pointless as Kaelan placed his final pieces and secured immunity.
Back at camp Kaelan was feeling his oats, proud to be protected and able to strike on his biggest threat in Karin. She, sadly, was equally as confident, though hers was based on her closeness to the Graduates and their apparent excitement to take out Kate. She was concerned about AJ doing something silly, given that is what he always does, blissfully unaware that Kaelan is the one she should be more concerned about. Karin and Kristin were by the fire, realising that everyone had disappeared. Kristin used the opportunity to tell us that she found Zara more threatening than Karin, so wanted to take her out instead. But when she floated the idea with Kate, she calmly told her Karin would be angry if she survived, while Zara would just suck it up. Myles too could clearly see something was up, asking AJ and Kaelan whether they have anything else planned, with him pretending he has his own plan, so he will try and make it work and let AJ know if he manages to get it off the ground.
Myles pulled Logan aside by the well to start working on said plan, asking if she would like to join him to take out Zara instead of Kate, to split up the more powerful Karin and Zara duo. Which she was obviously keen for, so took it back to AJ and Kaelan to see what they were thinking. This obviously pissed off AJ, given Myles and his antics could potentially send home Zara instead, who is far better for his game than Karin. They then figured out one of them needs to switch their vote to stop Myles cooking it, and instead of it being Logan, they pulled Kristin aside, who definitely wants to keep Karin in the game. Myles meanwhile approached Kate and Morgan to see what they were thinking, with them telling him that they will be voting Zara anyway but not giving him any additional information. Myles then went to AJ to let them know they have the same exact plan, with AJ telling him that they actually don’t, but to just keep his vote on Zara anyway.
Oh and then Kristin caught up with Karin by the fire and let her know that the plan was to get rid of her, and that the only way to save herself was to vote out her closest ally Zara. Just as they were heading out.
At tribal council Paulie was hot as hell on the jury – shirtless with a jacket, swoon – while Karin spoke about how the tribe was a simmering pot and she felt like things were finally about to boil over. AJ agreed that it was feeling more and more intense, with Karin cutting him off and telling him that it is no longer about buddies and instead AJ is using Morgan and Kate as shields. While Karin was hoping to weaponise it, Kate agreed he is, but pointed out that they could also be treating AJ as a shield too, so don’t see the point in getting him out. Karin and Kristin spoke about a lack of clear alliances, while Karin agreed that maybe now was the perfect time to lock in a solid alliance. Karin then requested that Zara, Kaelan, Kristin and Logan stand up and talk to her. And while Zara was confused, Karin let her know that they were the plan tonight and as such, she would like the five of them to load on one person and worst case, if an idol is played, she goes home. AJ then started whispering to Kate and Morgan about what they should do, with poor Myles just left right out.
Karin then addressed the entire tribe telling them she would be happy to play Russian roulette with her game, while Morgan just shrugged and told her to load the gun and get it over with. As they all sat down, Logan, AJ and Kaelan wondered who leaked the information as Kristin sat quietly. Karin then continued to play her mind games and theatrics, telling them she was told to vote for Zara and get rid of her closest ally. And while Karin refused to tell who told her that, Kristin fessed up to it and spoke about her unwavering loyalty, which was proven by leaking to Karin, though given Kaz just shat on said loyalty, she wasn’t really feeling it anymore. And damn, is Kristin playing a strong game, because nobody was even angry with her?! Karin reiterated that there is no way that she would ever turn on Zara and she’d rather go home with her head held high than vote for her.
With that the tribe voted – Karin, shockingly for Zara, who stuck with voting for Myles – before the rest of the tribe stuck with their plan and split between Karin and Zara, before Karin was sent home. As Logan mouthed to Laura and Paulie that it was all her plan, which AJ and Kaelan spotted. As Karin arrived at Loser Lodge, I ran into her arms and broke down. I mean, I wasn’t as sad to see her go as say, Paulie, but Karin has been an absolute force this season and if the women were just able to take out AJ when Logan wanted, I truly believe she would have taken out the win. But alas, she had to settle for a fresh, crunchy Korokkarin Gunatilake.
Full disclosure, these korokke are not as good as the glorious ones I ate in Takayama last year, but I tried my best to meet the majesty. Shame we don’t raise our cows indoors like they do in northern Japan, but alas. All that being said, these are still pretty good – gooey, rich and oh so warming, they are like a culinary hug.
Enjoy!
Korokkarin Gunatilake Serves: 2 dear friends, or 8.
Ingredients 1kg potatoes, peeled and quartered 1 tbsp unsalted butter 1 tsp kosher salt ½ tsp black pepper 1 tbsp olive oil 1 onion, finely diced 500g beef mince ½ cup gruyere cheese, grated ¼ cup flour 3 eggs, whisked 120g panko breadcrumbs neutral oil, for fryin’
Method Pop the potatoes into a large saucepan, cover with water and bring to the boil over medium heat. Once it is bubbling, reduce to low, leave the lid slightly ajar and simmer for 15 minutes or so, or until soft and tender. Drain the potatoes, and return them to a low heat, shaking frequently to cook over the remaining moisture. Remove from the heat and mash with the butter and half the salt and pepper. Leave to cool slightly while you prepare the rest of the ingredients.
Heat the olive oil in a frying pan over medium heat and saute the onions for about 15 minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the mince and cook, breaking up with a wooden spoon, until it is browned. When cooked, drain off the fat and stir through the remaining salt and pepper, before combining the meat and potatoes, alongside the gruyere.
While the mixture is warm, shape into rissole sized patties, pressing together to ensure there are no air pockets. Pop them on a lined plate, cover and pop in the fridge to chill for an hour.
When they are chill and you’re almost ready to cook, pop the flour, breadcrumbs and eggs in three separate bowls. One at a time, coat the korokke in flour, followed by the egg and then the breadcrumbs.
Heat a few inches of neutral oil in a stock pot and when nice and hot, cook the korokke a couple at a time for 3 minutes, or until golden and crisp. Transfer to a lined plate and repeat the process until they’re all done. Then devour, greedily, with your favourite Japanese condiment.
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Previously on Australian Survivor things got chaotic. And by a little, a lot. After Myles made a massive play of stealing Kristin’s idol and using it to save Paulie and send home PD instead, Logan was positively irate. Not at Myles, however, but her frequent sparring partner AJ. Myles on the other hand found unwavering loyalty in his newest ally Paulie. When it came to tribal council, Logan tried to target AJ, while the Graduates decided it was time to come back together to take out Logan. Hopefully sending her home with an idol in her pocket, to boot. Karin though had other plans, whispering to Logan to play her idol and while Karin was able to pull the rug out from under the boys, it still resulted in Logan’s bestie Laura going home. As Queen of the Jury.
Back at camp everyone was basically okay with the outcome of tribal council, except for Logan, who was angry to have lost her closest ally and her idol. Like Paulie before her, she was ready to pledge her undying loyalty to Kaz though, and take control. Sadly for them, Kaelan was busy telling AJ and Myles that he overheard Kaz whispering at tribal council and as such, they should not trust her. As such, their plan was now to eliminate some of the girls to weaken Kaz’s game, first being Logan followed by Kate. Sadly for them Kate was right behind them when they were discussing it. Whether she heard it or not.
The next day Paulie’s buff fell into the fire giving him a rough new bankrobber look. As rough as Logan was still feeling, given she had no friends left in the game and felt super hurt. Zara pulled her aside to attempt clearing the air, and when that failed, Zara traded out with Kristin and TBH, Logan kinda just needs to calm down. Particularly given she has now decided that Karin only warned her because it benefitted her game. And while, yeah that is what Kaz wanted, it still saved her. Logan then questioned whether she and Kate are still even friends, while Kaz told us how she plans to now use Logan’s volatile nature to get what she wants.
Like the boys last night, Kaz was hoping to weaken her rival, AJ. And to her, the best way to do that would be to split up Kate and Morgan, given he has clearly befriended them and they will always side with him. She caught up with Myles, who wisely reminded her that he had stuck his neck out over the last few days and as such, he is happy to jump on any plans that pop up but would be leading the charge. So yeah, he will happily join the Kate plan. Not to be outdone, AJ and Kaelan caught up to talk through a potential blindside of their own, with Kaelan happy to let AJ take all the credit for the move – aka get his hands dirty – while he would slide to the end and then make a show of everything he was involved in. And damn, is this the start of a winner’s edit?!
The tribe joined Jonathan in the jungle for the Survivor Auction. Or so they thought. Instead, they would come up one at a time to choose between two covered items. They would then flip a coin for the chance to reveal one, but if they lose, they would be choosing blind. Paulie was hoping for pizza, pasta, booze, biscoff and nutella. Instead, Myles went first and chose a loaf of bread, blind. Paulie went next and after winning his coin toss, happily passed up the opportunity for a phone call home and instead got the covered item which was a pickle. Which, gays love, right? (No, he raged, hard). Kaelan then got a bowl of rice as his blind item, Morgan went blind for a coconut, Karin got a lemon meringue pie blind, before Zara got to reveal a huge steak dinner, which she happily took. Much to Paulie’s simmering rage, as Myles offered him some bread. Kate then revealed a scroll, which she obviously took despite some hesitation. She revealed that she was now able to steal any item of her choosing after it was revealed. Kristin then won her coin flip revealing lasagne and beer, which Kate promptly stole. AJ then revealed pizza and promptly took it before Logan took her place at the table, losing the coin flip but winning the phone call home. She then called her husband and promptly broke down in tears and ugh, she was starting to frustrate me, but now I love her again. Plus, she is a mum who is also mother. And just like that, we’re back in the game Logan.
The next day everyone turned their attention back to the actual game, with AJ hoping to foster his relationship with Morgan and Kate to go to the end. Starting with getting rid of Karin first, given she is clearly out for splitting up one of the pairs. AJ and Kate then caught up with Myles, confident their plan was foolproof and that he definitely won’t turn on them. Sadly for them, Myles knows he can work with Karin, she will always be a threat and kinda sucks at endurance challenges, and as such, he was planning to play along to their face but keep Karin around.
Jonathan made a speedy return for the immunity challenge where they would each balance a ball on the end of a plank using a single leg, with the last person standing winning. Which is obvious, so I don’t really need to say that, right? Anyway, it is pretty boring to write about so let’s just list things out! Kaelan dropped out of nowhere, quickly followed by Zara, Karin and AJ within five minutes. After struggling for what felt like hours, Myles eventually dropped, followed by Paulie and Morgan, the latter out of nowhere. Kristin manoeuvred a miraculous save, while Kate was like a statue, as Kaelan whispered to Karin that this challenge is a bad one to show your cards in, given the final immunity challenge is always endurance. After 35 minutes, Kristin dropped leaving Logan and Kate to battle it out. And given Kate didn’t move within the first 55 minutes, she asked if they could make it harder, so the girls had to put their hands behind their head. They still went at it for another 20 minutes before Logan spotted a spider on her shoe, forcing her to lose her balance and hand Kate immunity.
Back at camp everyone quickly congratulated Kate on her win. Well, everyone except for Karin, given her plan had now fallen apart. Well, kinda, given she was happy to flip it to Morgan instead, and just move on. Karin, Myles and AJ caught up by the shore, quickly locking in a split vote between Morgan, Paulie and Logan, with the plan being for Morgan to go home. Obviously as soon as Karin left, AJ called bullshit on the plan as she was being too kind to him, deciding that it meant someone had told her he was targeting her. Morgan and Paulie joined the duo with Morgan agreeing with Myles that she has no interest in getting rid of Karin yet, and instead locked in a vote to get rid of Logan given she dominated the immunity challenge. At that very moment Karin and Kaelan were assuring Logan that she is safe but warned that she will cop a couple of votes tonight. While Myles pulled Paulie aside to let him know that the way the split was playing out, they could just pick a side and send whoever they wanted home.
Despite being told not to let Zara or Karin know that Logan is the target, AJ pulled Zara and Kristin aside to float just switching up the vote and getting rid of Logan without Myles knowing. Which obviously annoyed the shit out of Zara, given the game has been defined by men playing chaotically moments before tribal council. She and Kristin took the intel back to Karin and Kaelan, who then immediately ran over to AJ to put an end to this new plan. And while Karin was happy to do whatever the boys wanted, Myles was completely enraged because AJ shouldn’t have run his mouth at all. Once again everyone came together to lock in the split vote and once they were all sure of what they were doing, AJ and Karin caught up to discuss the fact that the move is logical, however she wished they just spoke things through, rather than making the choice later and running to them in a panic, which is shady. And while Karin was happy to get rid of Logan, she was sick of playing along and considered doing some whispering at tribal council.
Speaking of which, at tribal council everyone learned that the evening’s proceedings would be a little bit different. Instead of voting someone out of the game, they would be splitting the tribe in two for the next cycle with the winner of the upcoming immunity challenge winning immunity for their entire tribe. Oh and the tribes would be split by Barren and Bounty, with the former having nothing, while everyone else would get their camp, a fully cooked breakfast and an advantage at the next immunity challenge. Oh and Kate would automatically be on the Bounty tribe, as will someone she chooses. The two people with the highest votes tonight, however, would automatically land on the Barren tribe, while the other six would draw rocks.
Everyone was rightly a little nervous about how things would play out, and hopeful that they at least landed on a tribe with numbers. Zara was sick of leaving it to chance, so stood up and asked the girls what they were thinking, with Kristin simply focussed on wanting someone to have a shitty sleep. While at the other end, Myles was fixated on making sure Logan was on the Barren tribe. AJ spoke about it being clear that Kate would pick Morgan, and as they all joked, Karin, Logan and Paulie agreed that AJ needed to be split from them, so decided to load their votes on him. With that, the tribe voted with Paulie immediately landing on the Barren tribe, as the remaining votes tied up between AJ and Logan, before Logan officially joined our zaddy king. The rest drew rocks – after Logan cussed out Kaelan for voting her, despite him explaining he wanted to even up the skills – with Myles, Kaelan and Kristin going to Barren, while Zara, Karin and AJ went to Bounty.
Obviously we followed the temporary Barren tribe back to the empty beach they would call camp, and let’s just say the mood was low. Really low, as the skies opened up and drenched them. Kaelan still had a smile on his face, though, despite the miserable experience. Paulie meanwhile was acting like me, completely heartbroken to be kicked while he was down. As he quietly sulked, Logan was cussing people out again, talking about how she was being kicked while she was down. While Paulie threatened to get revenge on everyone when they’re reunited.
The next day the Bounty tribe were living their best lives, cooking up a full breakfast and getting primed for a win at the immunity challenge, given they will be fed and have an advantage. Karin meanwhile wasn’t all smiles, as she was stuck in a group with three people that she was wanting to get out and as such, if they win, she can’t. And if they lose, she won’t have the numbers. But hey, they have eggs, right? As they speculated how angry Logan would be with them, we checked in with the Barren tribe where they were desperate to try and crack a coconut. While poor Paulie continued to sulk by the ocean. Myles checked in with him and our zaddy was not buying his apology, telling him he doesn’t need to lie because he will still work with him, given he really has no other options.
Back at Bounty, Morgan and Kate were doing their hair in the well water and while they were living the life of luxury, they were still feeling awkward given they were stuck with Karin and Zara, and it is clear they were out to get them at the last tribal council. Morgan was concerned about them losing, so suggested they need to start acting as one to make it through the immunity challenge. Though Kate did suggest that they should use the time to bond with Karin and Zara to float getting rid of Myles when they’re reunited, because he continues to survive. Conveniently, Karin and Zara were keen on that plan and as such when Kate floated it, the foursome became the best of friends. Sadly, Kate also felt the need to loop in AJ to avoid pissing him off. Despite being aware that he could easily leak the intel and ruin it, he was actually on board as he had been feeling that Myles was now actively hurting his game. And if they win, the five of them can control the vote if they just don’t budge at tribal council.
Things were still pretty dire over at Barren as Paulie spoke about having zero reason to trust anyone on his tribe, so felt like a dead man walking. Kaelan, bless, continued to try and keep spirits up, cracking coconuts and trying to trauma bond with the people left. Kristin joined the fun as she and Kaelan practiced each other’s final tribal council speeches before pulling Logan and Paulie aside to float working together at the next vote and sticking together as a foursome. Paulie, hilariously, told Logan he doesn’t trust her and that the other two just do as they’re told, so what incentive does he actually have? Logan reminded him that she is equally screwed and has no other choice, so they should all band together and pitch to the others that they get rid of Myles should they lose. And once they pulled together a fire, Paulie was back to being a happy delight, dancing by the flames and ugh, he is so happy and I have a bad feeling he is about to be kicked again. Because we can’t have nice things!
Jonathan finally returned for the big immunity challenge, the classic, where they would all have to hold onto a pole with the last one hanging on winning. And given the Bounty peeps got an advantage, they would start at the top while Barren were in the middle. After ten minutes everyone was gagged to see Logan become the first to drop, quickly followed by Kaelan, Morgan and Karin, the latter two due to heights. At fifteen minutes the Bounty trio were forced to the narrower footholds, which cost AJ at the 20 minutes mark, quickly followed by Kristin. After Paulie spoke about being motivated to snatch the win, Myles dropped, leaving it all on Paulie’s broad, glorious shoulders. Sadly for him, at the 30 minutes mark he, Kate and Zara transitioned to the narrowest foothold and given the Bounty girls were tiny and he had huge feet, it wasn’t easy. They continued to fight for another twenty minutes and while Kate struggled, Zara managed to talk her through the pain long enough for Paulie to drop.
Back at camp the tribe were thrilled to be reunited, with both groups seemingly happy to get rid of Myles. Karin, however, was feeling a little confused about why AJ was all of a sudden happy to get rid of Myles, and started to panic that Logan was the actual target. Given Logan was better for her game. As such, she rallied the troops to split the votes between Myles and Paulie to guarantee she gets rid of someone she can’t work with. Which was smart, given AJ straight up pulled Myles aside and told him to play his idol, as it would force some separation between the two of them if he voted against him.
Myles obviously wasn’t vibing that, so pulled Logan and Paulie aside to let them know that he has an idol and if one of them is the split vote, they are screwed. So instead, the three of them could work together to vote out Kristin instead. They just need to pull in AJ, despite his entire plan being to distance themselves. Myles tried to talk to AJ thinking he would be on board, with AJ pointing out that he thinks he can work with Kristin, so doesn’t want to ruffle any feathers, before Myles pointed out that everyone thinks they can work with Kristin, which actually means she is a threat. Paulie was super frustrated to be forced into working with Myles, so caught up with Logan and they realised that it was kinda their only option.
Paulie caught up with Kaelan and Kristin, who promptly told him that everyone is loading on Myles with a few votes thrown on him for safety. This led to an absolute meltdown, as he cussed out Karin and then AJ, trying to convince them to vote for literally anyone else. He then tried his luck with Zara and ugh, my zaddy, people are not going to change their vote with this approach. Logan meanwhile was surprisingly zen, and while she didn’t want to work with Myles, she instead went looking for her own idol. And then, for safety, went to Kaelan and Kristin to let them know that Myles has an idol and as such, whoever is the split will go. Oh and that he wants to target Kristin. This led to Kristin pulling Paulie aside to give him one final chance to be honest with her and let her know about the idol, which he tragically did not, instead asking her to vote for Logan. Which seemingly convinced her and Logan to stay targeting Paulie.
At tribal council Zara spoke about how exposed she felt by the split tribal and that is why she was focussed on taking out victory. Despite conversations during the split offering hope, Paulie was concerned that everyone was too happy to stick with their OG allies. While Myles was just wondering if tonight would be the night where someone draws a line. Kaelan joked about checking if he could vote for himself – Lucinda is triggered – so was going with the majority, while Logan was just resigned to seeing her name come out of the urn. While she was immune, Karin still felt the vote had some risk, as AJ agreed that there is a right and wrong person for everyone to send home tonight and as such, they had to find some common ground among themselves.
Kate meanwhile was focussed on keeping her allies happy. Myles was planning to vote with people that he thinks he can work with, and to just put trust in the conversations he has had. This spooked Karin, who checked with AJ that he is 100% voting Myles tonight, which he promptly agreed with. While Logan hoped to not just vote to survive tonight, but to give her options for the next few tribal councils. With that the tribe voted, Myles played his idol for himself before a vote piled up on each Paulie, Kristin and Logan each before the last two came in for Paulie and tragically sent our zaddy home.
As Paulie arrived at the Jury Villa I ran into his arms and immediately broke down into heaving sobs. I then held him for a gull six hours before I was strong enough to pull back, look him in his gorgeous eyes and tell him how much I loved watching him play. Emphasis on watching. While it looked like we would lose Paulie pre-jury for a while there, I told him how grateful I am to be able to see him serving looks on the jury. And that little, accidental reminder was all it took to turn things around. As we toasted his run with cakes. Our own, and a big, fat slice of Coffee and Paulienut Michake.
This mildly tweaked Nigella number is truly perfection. Earthy, sweet and with a nice coffee kick, it melts in your mouth and have you wanting more. And more, and more. Just like Paulie.
Enjoy!
Coffee and Paulienut Michake Serves: 8.
Ingredients 50g walnuts or walnut meal 225g raw caster sugar 400g unsalted butter, softened 200g flour 2 ½ tbsp instant espresso powder 2½ tsp baking powder ½ tsp bicarb soda 4 eggs 2 tbsp milk 350g icing sugar walnut halves and chocolate coated coffee beans, to decorate
Method Preheat the oven to 160C, and line two 20cm sandwich tins with parchment.
Combine the walnuts or meal with the raw caster sugar in a food processor and blitz to form a fine powder. Add 225g of butter, the flour, 1 ½ tablespoons of espresso powder, baking powder, bicarb, eggs and milk, and blitz until smooth. Divide the mixture between the sandwich tins and transfer to the oven to bake for 25 minutes, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean. Remove from the oven and cool in their tins for 10 minutes, before transferring to a wire rack and cooling completely.
While the cakes – swoon – chill, get to work on the buttercream. Blitz the icing sugar in the food processor to get rid of the lumps before adding the remaining butter and the remaining espresso powder dissolved in 1 tablespoon of boiling water, and blitzing until combined.
To assemble, pop one of the cakes on a cake stand and spread half of the icing on the top. Add the next cake, followed by the icing before decorating with walnuts and chocolate coated coffee beans and devouring. Like the zaddy king of the season.
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Previously on Australian Survivor the Brains smashed parmies and pints, while Myles continued to piss off Zara and Laura as he ran his mouth trying to make friends. Despite the ladies assuring him that the OG Brawn will not move for any of them. At the immunity challenge, Laura and Logan caught up and agreed that both of their tribes were clearly trying to throw the challenge, rather than Ben and AJ just being flops when it came to shooting … baskets. Back at camp an injured Noonan was irate that AJ didn’t tell her he was throwing, given she could have saved herself the injury by not participating. She then told Logan that AJ was coming for her and continued the chaos at tribal council where Paulie played his idol, which in turn spooked AJ into playing his – infuriating Karin in the process due to him keeping it from her – before Noonan sadly went home.
We followed them back to camp where AJ congratulated Paulie on his correct idol play before begging Paulie to tell everyone the truth, that he didn’t throw out Logan’s name. Which led to the duo arguing back and forth about semantics, given AJ didn’t directly say to vote her out but he clearly, heavily implied it. Practically via sky writing. Seeing this for what it is, the tribe grew tired of it so all disappeared, as Karin congratulated Paulie on his successful idol play and assured him that she trusts him. This upset AJ, who asked her to stick around and talk to him, while he tried to explain that he kept the hidden immunity idol secret because that is what you do on Survivor. While Karin argued that she just felt that if they were aligned, there wouldn’t be any secrets between them. As Logan and Paulie giggled off to the side, absolutely living for the drama. Mama.
Things were slightly less tense the next day as AJ watched the sunrise before checking in with Karin as she tended the fire. Though given their conversations were all pleasantries, he should still be nervous, despite whatever assurances she may or may not have offered. He then joined Kaelan hunting for idols to thank him for working together and being a constant in the game. Karin, Logan and Kristin caught up to talk about the former’s very emotional reaction to the idol play, before it descended into swapping stories about how AJ is telling them all the same thing. And his robotic attempts at connection are giving them the ick. And ugh, I feel bad for him now!
Paulie meanwhile was leaning into his strengths, wearing his speedo and looking like a gorgeous King. He then floated to the OG Brains that going to the merge together would be best for everyone, so they should just replace AJ with him instead. As he desperately wants to work with him, and that he is trustworthy and has integrity. Rather than AJ’s shiftiness. And he drastically improves their odds moving forward, given he has friends over on Brains. And while it was a good pitch, Karin knew Paulie was a snake oil salesman. But all of his sales come with a kernel of truth, and he is so damn likeable, that she kind of wants to see where things go anyway.
Over at the Brains Kate and Morgan were hanging by the shore and absolutely vibing, given they have the numbers advantage and don’t have to stress about anything. At all. Except for the fact that Ben and Jesse feel like they’re in control, and they aren’t feeling it, so would prefer to explore new opportunities. Jesse called everyone together for a snack, suggesting that this new tribe should be the new majority alliance rather than the OG Brawns, so they can all share margies at the Jury Villa. And while everyone smiled at the idea of having an alliance with everyone in the tribe, the girls had had it. Officially. They ventured down to the beach to wash off, reading him and his idea for absolute filth. We then got a proper introduction to Kate and ugh, she is an icon, she is the moment. She and Morgan pulled Laura and Zara aside at the well, assuring them that they want to work with them on this tribe and after the merge, despite their alliances on the other side. And just like that, Girls Gone Wild was formed and please, let this damn all women alliance stick as I need it in my life. Like, yesterday.
My love JLP returned for the immunity challenge where the tribes would face off using poles to hold a trough up. Aka the tribal version of When It Rains It Pours. Well, after a little kiki between the tribes about the mass of information that was dropped. Specifically between Zara and AJ, through mime. After Kate and Zara took their place on the sit out benches, the challenge was on. Well, for a brief moment, after Brains dropped out of nowhere in the first five minutes. With the surprise loss, everyone started to question who threw the challenge. With Morgan, in particular, irate. Obviously AJ did remind them it could have been a complete accident, but not a single Brain believed it. Particularly Laura. Though Logan was grateful to learn Zara and Laura felt safe.
Back at camp things were very, VERY, tense, as Jesse spoke about how the challenge was just so hard, aye. Happy to be done with said new Brains strong alliance and ready to get rid of one of the OGs. Myles took Laura and Zara for a walk to lock something in. And by lock in, went hunting for an idol. Meanwhile, Ben and Jesse and the former Brawns were busy locking in all their votes for Laura. With a single vote on Myles for safety. Morgan and Kate offered to go talk to Laura and Zara, with Jesse telling them it is finally time for them to get some dirt on their hands. Which obviously pissed them off, just before they ran off to talk to them. Meaning the girls promptly re-confirmed the newly formed Girls Gone Wild alliance, with Laura hoping to loop in Myles. And when she learned she was Jesse’s target, she decided to target him instead. Kate and Morgan caught up about how they navigate around PD and Ben feeling betrayed, while Laura and Zara told Myles that he and Laura are the split vote. But if they all vote Jesse, they just may take control.
Jesse and Ben, however, were feeling a little bit spooked about how much the girls were getting along. And as such, thought about looping Myles in and getting the men to load all their votes on Laura. Hilariously talking about potentially talking to Myles IN FRONT OF MYLES. Ben and Jesse were feeling super confident about their new plan, but the more they spoke, the more Myles realised that they have no idea how the game is played, and as such, ensured he will stick with the women. Despite naming the men’s alliance the Hunkz based on one of Jesse’s tatts. The bobbsey twins then pulled PD aside to loop him in, as they happily wandered off thinking 4 was a majority in a tribe of 5.
While everything felt settled, Laura started to get nervous about whether Kate and Morgan are actually with her, so pulled Kate aside to confirm. Sadly, in front of the boys. After sending Kate off, telling her to tell them she is desperate and just throwing out plans, Laura went idol hunting. And while she didn’t jag an idol, she did jag an advantage. One so good, she felt like she would be on top. Zara stumbled upon her, with the duo locking in their trust as she shared the as yet unknown advantage. Which seems kinda dicey, given Zara’s angry fuck. Despite being current besties, Zara had had it. Officially. As she just can’t catch a break and felt like the advantage was actually a disaster. Laura pointed out it is a solo game and as such, was going to play it. Not to be out done though, Zara vowed to spill the information far and wide.
We pivoted straight to tribal council where Zara refused to vote for Laura, which kind of gave a hint of what the advantage was. Jesse spoke about struggling with the poles, and that is why they dropped, not him throwing the challenge or anything. Zara meanwhile whispered to Laura that she is a rat. And once JLP called it out, Laura tried to save face, by pointing out that whoever received the most votes tonight won’t be going home and instead they would join Brawn. Zara and Myles suggested it go down to an open forum, with Laura and Zara both putting their hands up. Myles asked what the goal would be of them going, with Zara and Laura sharing why they would be best placed to foster relationships heading into merge.
Ben suggested Laura just wants to go over to reunite with her bestie, with her countering that Zara’s bestie Karin is also there. Though when Ben and Jesse pointed out Karin is working with Kristin, things looked more hopeful. Well, for Zara. As Laura congratulated her on a game well played. Ben asked Zara if she would get rid of AJ if she were to go, with her assuring them she has no interest in playing with chaotic players. Leading to the former Brawns whispering about which one was the right decision. With that the tribe voted and Zara, narrowly, came out on top. And after eventually gathering her things, she wandered off to reunite with Karin. As Laura simmered with rage, telling everyone that she wouldn’t have done that to Zara.
We followed her off to her new tribe where Karin and Logan were absolutely delighted to see their former ally. She then regalled them with the tale of how she made her way there, with her conveniently saying that she and Laura found the advantage together. She assured Logan that while the OG Brains were on the bottom of the tribe, they had all worked their arses off to make some inroads with the tribe. She then asked if they could catch her up on what she had missed, though was unsure she should do that in a group setting, given it sounds pretty feisty.
The next day Laura was still simmering with rage at Brains, talking about how angry she was that Zara stole her exit to Brawn. And when Jesse apologised, not realising Zara was hijacking it and that he would have voted differently if he did, she assured him that all her anger is directed towards Zara. Kate too was frustrated, though at both Laura and Zara, because they were about to blindside Jesse. And still could have done that, if only they didn’t find the damn non-advantage. And now that they have to wait longer, their plans could leak before they have the chance to get him. As such, Kate caught up with Jesse to talk through plans post-merge, with him rightly clocking that their alliance could crumble and suggesting that they need to figure out their next moves. With him pitching they take out Zara at the merge.
Myles meanwhile was having a good laugh, given he once again copped votes at tribal council, even though he wasn’t part of it. Thankfully, though, he assured us that he wasn’t serious about aligning with the boys, given they are idiots (my words, not his). What he was serious about, though, was finding an idol, so he scurried away to go hunting. With him once again making easy work of it, pocketing the idol and keeping our pole-dancing bi king alive for another day.
Also Ben is nowhere to be seen around camp, which feels odd, no?
We checked in with the Brawns where Zara realised she was now living a life of luxury, while Karin was just delighted to have her bestie back in the game. And hopeful that she would be able to use Zara to get rid of AJ. He obviously knew it, following them around like a bad smell every time they tried to chat, with Kaz eventually storming off, enraged with him. AJ used the time to loop Zara in on the fact that he didn’t tell Karin about her idol and how that was the final straw, after his theatrics. Though he was now hopeful Zara would be able to help him smooth things over. He told her not to trust anything Paulie says. Which she agreed with, suggesting that once he is gone, she would like to turn their attention to Logan, as they cannot risk her and Laura reuniting at the merge. Which was music to AJ’s ears, as he felt he could finally claw his way back to the top.
My love JLP returned for the reward challenge where the tribes would face off 1 on 1, sliding down a ramp to collect a ring and then wrestle it to their pole. With the first tribe to three scoring a trip to the Survivor Spaghetti Shack. Just a reminder, they would be slipping a ring on their poles, which is important. Logan and Kate were first to battle, with the icons fighting hard before Logan scored the first point for Brawn. The twink and twunk faced off again, with Paulie dragging Myles and the ring to put Brawn further in front. Morgan then destroyed Karin before Ben, who apparently was just on the toilet earlier, tied things up over AJ. Who literally just gave up. PD and Kaelan then faced off for the win, with Kaelan once injuring someone, as medical were called in as PD’s arm made a cracking sound.
As he received care, Kaelan ran to the side in tears, heartbroken to have injured someone. Again. As everyone assured him it was an accident. PD was moved off to a seat where JLP – a qualified doctor, need I remind you – and the doctor decided he may have just torn a tendon, given he could still move his arm. As everyone was focused on making sure Kaelan didn’t stress about his latest victim, Laura pulled Logan aside to warn her that Zara hijacked the non-advantage and not to trust her. Rather than calling off the challenge, JLP called that battle a draw and instead Zara and Laura would end their feud for the win. While JLP begged everyone to be gentle from now on. As they made their way to the top of the ramp, Zara apologised profusely and while it appeared that everything was all good, neither gave an inch during the challenge and after 10 minutes, Laura took out victory for the Brains. After JLP handed the Brains a scroll to explain how their feast would work, PD assured Kaelan everything was all good before he was taken off for further assessment, and ugh, seeing Kaelan break down in tears again was so heartbreaking.
We followed the Brains off to their reward where they read the scroll outlining they would each visit the shack solo. Being fair they all drew sticks, with Jesse first and Kate forced to go in last. Jesse ventured and absolutely demolished the entire set while going to town on some balls. After finding nothing, Ben went in to try, followed by Laura before Myles got to have his turn. And unlike the rest of the tribe, he emptied the bowl to discover a note telling him to check the shelf. Or so he thought, given the note actually said to check the shelter. And while he turned the place apart, he didn’t realise his mistake. Nor did Kate, who went last.
Back at camp the Brawn tribe were heartbroken to have missed out on the spaghetti, though didn’t have time to dwell, as Kristin asked if anyone managed to get information from the other tribe during the challenge. Logan obviously stayed awkwardly quiet, given Laura told her that Zara threw her under the bus at the last tribal council. Logan pulled Karin aside to see whether they can trust Zara, particularly given she is close to AJ and may just let him get away with voting her out. Logan and Karin agreed they now have the ick with AJ and while they tried to float getting rid of him with Kaelan, the quiet killer still wanted to take out Paulie first. As such, the trio went idol hunting as Logan was convinced that AJ would be the death of her. She then immediately found the idol, thrilled to have some power. And can be assured that neither AJ or Paulie don’t have it. Oh and she managed to build a little trust with Kaelan and Karin in the process, which she hoped could help her take control at the merge.
Meaning PD is definitely not coming back and this episode is now just dedicated to setting up merge plot lines, no? Though watching Karin and Logan cackle about accidentally sending home AJ on a split was fun.
We checked in with the Brains where Kate held onto a massive bag of food for PD’s return, presumably to distract herself from how irate she was with Jesse for eating all the meatballs. While Myles was angry at himself for not finding the idol on the shelf. Thankfully he perked up after finding the scroll in the shelter, and this one was actually good, the power to steal an idol before JLP sends people off to vote at tribal council. Aka Knowledge is Power.
The tribes reunited for the latest immunity challenge where PD joined them with his arm in a sling. Again, the second person to become Kaelan’s victim. Thankfully for Kaelan’s guilt, PD was allowed to stay, Missy style, as his bicep was just torn. Though JLP cautioned that he may not be able to compete in every challenge. PD promptly sat out for the Brains meaning AJ had to sit out on Brawn. Which was wise, as it was a challenge that one person could throw. Everyone would hold a rope to balance a disc while they worked to build a stack of blocks on top. With the first to ten scoring immunity. Logan ran the Brawn tribe like it was a military operation, getting out to a huge lead as the Brains struggled to figure it out. Until Brawn dropped after loading their ninth block, opening things up for Brains. Brawn caught up and then dropped again, before Kate put everyone out of their misery, saving the Brains stack while placing the final block.
Back at camp Paulie and AJ were both feeling anxious, pulling their people aside to find some allies. Paulie tried his luck with Kristin, while AJ, Karin and Kaelan caught up, with AJ pretending he will be fine to be the split vote to apologise for playing so crazily. He, Karin, Zara and Logan caught up by the well with Zara telling AJ to pull his head in and make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid. As she will not tolerate his bullshit. Karin, meanwhile, wanted to make AJ sweat a little to punish him for his theatrics. As such, she caught up with Paulie with our zaddy reiterating that she can not trust AJ and he clearly isn’t going to help her make it to the end. And as such, she needs to jump on board his plan to get rid of AJ before he gets rid of her. Paulie pulled Kristin aside to float the idea of her playing her idol for him tonight to send AJ home instead. He made a very wise pitch, suggesting that if she saves him, at the merge they just need to pull PD over and then they can play the middle for the first few votes. Which Kristin found hilarious given she now holds all the power, and PD is actually her ally anyway.
AJ started to get nervous as Paulie and Logan kikied in the shelter, so pulled Kaelan aside to talk through the vote and make sure he didn’t need to worry, given Paulie seemed way too comfortable. AJ was confident that Kristin and Zara wouldn’t turn on him, but was concerned about Karin and Logan. And given he was nervous about a Paulie idol play, he wondered whether they should be talking out Logan instead. He clocked that Kate and Morgan would join Logan and Laura at the merge and become a dangerous foursome, while Paulie will always be a target. And while Kaelan tried to talk him off the edge, Zara joined the boys to confirm with them that the Paulie plan is still on. Kristin and Karin joined the fray, with Kristin telling them everything and shutting it all down. Though trust, Karin was kinda hoping for some drama or an idol play, so she could see AJ accidentally heading out the door.
When the Brains arrived at tribal council, the tribe – along with us – were gagged to learn that none of them would be going home tonight as tribal council was cancelled. Ben had opted to quit the game, off screen, leaving us with no clarity or final words. After an assurance that one of them just got a second chance, they all got sent back to camp as I made a beeline for the airport hoping to catch Ben. And while he was already through customs, I wasn’t able to get answers about his mysterious exit – let’s pray the producers give us something tonight – I was able to lob a Peanut Butter and Chocolate Bendt Bylett Cake to him for the flight home.
Despite leaving no impact on the season, Ben lucked out with arguably the best recipe – a NYT copycat – as this cake is God tier. I mean, you can’t go wrong with the combination of peanut butter and chocolate. And when we slather it in two glazes, it is even better.
Enjoy!
Peanut Butter and Chocolate Bendt Bylett Cake Serves: 12.
Ingredients 240g smooth peanut butter 115g cream cheese, at room temperature 75g muscovado sugar 5 eggs, at room temperature 1 tbsp vanilla extract 430g flour ¾ tsp sea salt, plus a pinch for the icing 95g cocoa powder 240ml boiling water 240ml cold natural yoghurt 225g unsalted butter 120ml vegetable oil 400g caster sugar 1 ¼ tsp baking powder ¾ tsp baking soda 140ml thickened cream 60g smooth peanut butter 60g icing sugar pinch of sea salt 55g dark chocolate
Method First in a stand mixer, cream 180g of the peanut butter with the cream cheese and muscovado sugar using a paddle attachment on medium speed for five minutes, or until light and fluffy. Egg one of the eggs and a teaspoon of the vanilla, and mix until fully incorporated. Reduce to low and gently add three tablespoons of flour and ¼ teaspoon of salt and mix until just combined. Transfer to a bowl while you work on the chocolate cake.
Speaking of which, preheat the oven to 170C. Lightly butter a bundt tin and dust with cocoa to fully coat.
Pop the 95g of cocoa in a small bowl and whisk in the boiling water to form a nice, chocolatey slurry before adding the yoghurt and whisking to combine. Leave to rest.
Meanwhile combine the butter, oil and caster sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer and cream with a paddle attachment on medium for five minutes, or until light and fluffy. Reduce to medium and add the remaining four eggs one at a time, allowing the mixture to come back together after each addition, before adding the remaining vanilla. Whisk the remaining flour in a bowl with the baking powder, soda and salt. Reduce the mixer to low and slowly add a third of the flour until it is all combined. Add half the cocoa-yoghurt, and once it is combined, follow with a third of the flour, followed by the remaining wet ingredients and then the remaining flour until the batter comes together.
Pour about two-thirds of the chocolate batter into the lined bundt, spreading to form an even layer, before carving a little moat in the middle of the ring. Spoon in the peanut butter batter, before covering with the remaining chocolate batter, once again smoothing the top. Pop the bundt on a lined baking sheet and pop it in the oven to bake for 60-75 minutes, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean. Transfer to a wire rake to cool in the pan for ten minutes, before flipping and allowing to cool completely.
While the cake chills, get to work on the glazes. First, heat 60ml of the cream in a small pot and combine the remaining peanut butter with the icing sugar and a pinch of salt in a small bowl. Once simmering, pour the cream into the peanut butter and stir until combined.
Repeat the process with the remaining cream, this time pouring it over the chocolate in a separate bowl and stirring until it is melted and combined.
To decorate, transfer the cake to a baking sheet and spoon half the chocolate glaze over the top, allowing it to drip down the sides. Follow with half the peanut butter glaze, before repeating the process, swirling the glazes with a spoon to make it nice and pretty.
Allow the glaze to set for half an hour before carving and devouring, solo. While it’s namesake flies away from the island with no context.
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