Salt

Nova Peris Peri Chicken Burger

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Champions vs. Contenders (2019), Burgers, Main, Street Food, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor young, underestimated Baden had a hero moment at the reward challenge, proving himself to his tribe and helping them snatch their first reward. Things continued to get better for the Contenders – no doubt due to John’s nude scene – snagging another win at the immunity challenge. In no small part thanks to Janine’s idea to dig and trench over a hole. Which everyone agreed to, and don’t you forget it! Thankfully for JaQueen and her fellow outsiders, Luke and David found an idol, and then followed it up by working overtime to convince Abbey and Ross to flip on the athletes alliance, which worked, sending Susie out of the game and handing control of the tribe over to them.

The next day the new majority were living it up at Camp Champ, making jokes and having a great time. While Steven, Nova and E.T. sat around the shelter, sulking about the fact they were outplayed at tribal and wouldn’t be steamrolling their way to the merge. At the end of the rainbow the Contenders were still riding high on their back to back victories, none more so than Sarah who was overwhelmed by the beauty of Fiji and getting into the groove of island life. The tribe sat around the fire, roasting Sarah Harris and Studio 10 while flashing us back to John’s nude scene – how many times do you think I can bring this up, I wonder. There was an extremely hard pivot, with my Queen Sarah then talking about her experience surviving the Boxing Day tsunami. Honestly, just give her the money because she is the greatest and I’m sad we haven’t seen enough of her in the first three episodes.

We returned to Camp Champ where Nova was still running a tight ship in the kitchen … or protesting, I can’t tell. Though she was auditing bananas, then telling Ross he could cook his own damn rice (which is fair). We then followed Ross and Pia into the jungle who were snacking on ants, no doubt because Nova banned them from eating as she was seething after Susie’s blindside. As was Steven who was well and truly feeling the heat as the instigator of the athletes alliance, though he reminded us that he does not give up, ever, and will not go down without a fight. Given he talked about almost dying at least five times, I won’t make any jokes about winning Gold simply for not going down.

My love Jonathan returned for the next reward challenge – which coincidentally is a water challenge – aka Monika’s tower of belly flopping doom where people would jump off the tower one by one and snatch a flag, swim to a pontoon and then dive down to retrieve letters which they will use to solve a word puzzle … for HOT BLOODY CHOCCIE! Before Jonathan even asked the Contenders to sit someone out, Casey dived for the bench leaving tsunami survivor Sarah to face off against a huge body of water. When the challenge rolled around, Matt and David were neck and neck, while Hannah and Abbey both missed their attempts, while poor Sarah worried about screwing it up for their tribe. Luke got the Champs to a lead, before Harry closed the gap leaving Janine and Baden to arrive with the third flags neck and neck.

Daisy than followed in Monika’s footsteps and did a killer belly flop before John got the Contenders out to a lead. The Contenders then tried to coach Sarah through her trauma and TBH, I think the Champs should forfeit for her. Eventually it came down to just Sarah and Pia on the top of the towers, with Pia grabbing her flag on her third attempt while the Contenders gave up on trying to win and instead pushed Sarah to make the jump to prove it to herself and overcome her fear. Zaddy John then swam back to the tower to help Sarah, offering to hold her hand and jump with her. Matt too swam back, while the Champions slowly made their way to victory as the trio hugged at the top of the tower, agreeing not to push her outside her comfort zone. After the challenge Jonathan asked Sarah about her fears, giving her tribe the chance to publicly praise her and her bravery. Oh and then Jonathan gave the champs the chance to invite a contender to share in their reward, with them giving John a sweet treat for having Sarah’s back like the bloody icon he is.

Back at camp Sarah was still feeling guilty about losing the challenge and called the tribe around to explain what happened in the moment during the challenge and damn, all I want to do is give her a big hug as she is so much stronger than she is feeling. Shaun being the most beautiful man in the world, supported her and everything she’s been through and if John wasn’t John, I would be rooting for just Shaun.

Speaking of John, he was living it up over at Camp Champ, meeting new friends and most importantly, his childhood crush Pia aka the star of his fave movie, Looking for Alibrandi. I mean, does he get any better? While everyone was smashing marshmallows, Janine noticed a clue on the beach near the table, so slyly reached down to grab it, with only ally David catching her at the last minute. JaQueen wandered deep into the jungle where she learnt that she had picked up a clue, leading her back to the well where she snatched an idol … for the Contenders. The note explained that the idol was only good for a Contender to play at a Contender tribal council and that a Champion idol sits in the same location at the Contender beach. Given the highly specific wording, I assume a swap is a coming and this could be very good for her should she find herself becoming a Contender. She then debated whether it was a good idea to give the idol to John and hope he’d return the Champion idol to her, before ultimately deciding that patience is her best bet. It didn’t add anything to the narrative, but John returned to his tribe and then got down on one knee and gifted Sarah with a marshmallow for everything she has done for the tribe, and damn I love him so much.

Jonathan’s gun show returned for the immunity challenge where eight members of each tribe are tethered to ropes, wrapped around obstacles before releasing themselves and a pack of balls, which the final two have to roll up a curved wall and land them in a bucket. Hannah and Shaun got the Contenders out to an early lead over Abbey and David, much to Nova’s chagrin. While they managed to close the gap on the second obstacle, the Contenders still maintained a slight lead which only extended when Daisy and John hit the course, despite a killer run from Pia and Luke … until they tangled themselves on the second obstacle, alloying Baden and Sam to lap them. Casey and Matt started the course before the third Champion pair made it to the wall, until Casey started to fade and Janine and Simon slowly started to close the gap. Andy and Harry had a huge head start figuring out how to roll the balls in the bucket, landing three before the Champions even made it through the gate. While Nova’s hockey past helped her land her first roll, it was all for nought, as Harry landed the final ball, handing the Contenders third third immunity win.

Back at camp Pia was feeling extremely nervous after stuffing up the challenge with Luke and while they apologised, Nova looked like she wanted to kill them both. Steven went out into the ocean to cool down, both figuratively and literally, before assuring us that Abbey or Ross are the athletes target, rather than Pia or Luke. Abbey approached Simon to explain why she flipped, pointing out that Steven hadn’t bothered to ever talk to her. While he wanted her to join back with the alliance, she explained it was too hard. She then went to talk to Steven and Nova, with Steven making the situation worse for himself, cussing her out and calling her weak. Completely ignoring the point of Survivor, wondering why she dared not to tell them she was jumping. She then stood up for herself, explaining that he is the reason she flipped, given he never gave her the time of day.

She and Pia then walked down the beach where Abbey started to break down over the way Steven spoke to her. Janine, Ross, Luke and David stumbled upon them and asked what happened before going back to camp, asking Steven what the hell he said to her. While he was quick to deflect from the way he spoke to her, with Nova backing him up, the tribe rallied around Abbey. Steven eventually tried to smooth things over, finding her by the shore to apologise before returning to camp to joke about needing to pack his bag, knowing only a miracle will save him.

At tribal council E.T. seemed at a loss trying to explain how they lost yet again, while Nova pointed out that true Champions keep getting back up when things go wrong. Pia addressed the elephant in the room, saying that tensions flared after losing the immunity challenge before Abbey jumped in to rescue her, explaining that someone cussed her out – which Luke jumped in to point out was Steven – for flipping at the last tribal council. He admitted to it and reiterated his apology before Nova explained that she thought booting Steven was a bad, emotional idea and was salty about it. David explained why he defended Abbey so vehemently before Nova completely downplayed Steven’s behaviour. While Pia explained that he did get in her face, Nova continued to defend her friend while Pia pointed out that she too was there and saw everything. E.T. went back to talking about the initial alliance before Steven said that the tribe will be weakened without him, should he actually go home and no matter what, the divide will still be there if they don’t fix things.

With that the tribe voted and – to steal Jonathan’s joke – Steven lived up to his reputation and skated through once again, with his closest ally Nova getting the boot instead. While Nova was shocked to get the boot, she took her blindside like the legend that she is as she pulled me into a big hug. As you know, I’ve been involved with many an Olympics and while my specialty was swimming – hey Lisa and Steph! – like Nova, I was able to cross over and actually coached the Hockeyroos in ‘95-’96 which is where I first met the Australian hero. I always knew Nova was destined for greatness, and to see her going from strength to strength is one of the greatest joys of my life. That and celebrating her many victories with a big, juicy Nova Peris Peri Chicken Burger.

 

Nova Peris celebrating her fourth boot Nova Peris Peri Chicken Burger.

 

Hot, spicy and packing a real punch, there is no better way to honour the Queen of the Kitchen, dual-sport Olympian, Gold medalist, former senator and all around icon Nova. The burn of the chicken mixed with the creamy mayonnaise and sharp cheddar, honestly, is the only joy I can derive from seeing this hero booted.

Enjoy!

 

Nova Peris celebrating her fourth boot Nova Peris Peri Chicken Burger.

 

Nova Peris Peri Chicken Burger
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
6 small bird’s-eye chillies (seeds in for additional heat, if you wish)
½  teaspoon chipotle chilli powder
4 cloves garlic
1 lime, zested and juiced
2 tbsp paprika
2 tbsp oregano
¼ cup olive oil
¼ cup champagne vinegar
salt and pepper
2 chicken breasts, sliced into 4 fillets
4 Kirsten Bunst
½ cup Shayonnaise Swain
1 cup lettuce, shredded, washed and dried
1-2 tomatoes, sliced
4 slices cheddar cheese

Method
Blitz the chillies, chilli powder, garlic, lime zest and juice, paprika, oregano, olive oil and champagne vinegar in a food processor with a good whack of salt and pepper. Transfer to a bowl and rub over the chicken pieces. Cover and place in the fridge to marinate for 2 hours.

Preheat oven to 180°C.

When you’re ready to rock, transfer the chicken to a lined baking sheet and cook for 20 minutes, or until cooked through and starting to blacken around the edges.

Split the buns, smear each side with the mayo and top with some lettuce, tomato and a slice of cheese. Add the piping hot chicken, close the burg’ and devour, greedily.

 

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Lamby Slidaris

Lamby Slidaris

Burgers, Main, Tapas

What a way to kick off my triumphant return to this anthropological study slash international fashion lifestyle brand!

Ames arrived in full Ronnie Vino look and attitude, dancing her way through my door and into my arms, before launching into a rapid fire greeting as she poured us glasses of wine I swiped from a hotel minibar and left at her house.

“Ben! Thank god you agreed to come back, I was worried about you after your tragic loss but always knew that coming back to you fans would help you heal.

“And to return with a date with me? What an honour!”

But truly the honour is all mine. As you know, I first met Amy through her brother Dave – Annelie and I were department store elves with him. It was this point I invented twerking, which I taught to Miley. Eventually he took us back to Raleigh where we immediately fell in love with the broader Sedari clan, none more than dear Amy.

And that, my friends, was the beginning of our beautiful friendship.

Amy’s career has deservedly gone from strength to strength over the years, and while she didn’t hook me and Justin Theroux up after his split from Jen-An and is yet to cast me on At Home, nothing will ever come between us. I mean, at the very least, we will always have Lamby Slidaris.

 

Amy Sedaris preparing to devour a delightful Lamby Slidaris

 

Inspired by her Greek heritage, though not necessarily Lou Sedaris – or Loudaris, as I’ve tried to turn into his nickname – approved, these little babies are melt in your mouth perfection. The earthy lamb, salt haloumi and the sweet, sweet hit of beetroot work together for a tops tapas treat.

Enjoy!

 

Amy Sedaris smashing a delightful Lamby Slidaris

 

Lamby Slidaris
Serves: 2-6.

Ingredients
500g lamb mince
3 garlic cloves, minced
2 tsp oregano, roughly chopped
2 tsp chilli flakes
1 tsp mint, roughly chopped
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp ground coriander
salt and pepper, to taste
100-200g Halloumi Holbrook, sliced into
10 Briocher Bünsberg in slider form
¼ – ½ cup Beetrootina Wesley Tzatziki

Method
Preheat oven to 180C.

Combine the mince, garlic, oregano, chilli, mint, cumin and coriander in a large bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Scrunch until well combined, divide into 10 little patties and flatten on a lined baking sheet. Transfer to the oven and cook for 10-15 minutes, or until cooked through.

Spread the halloumi slices on a second lined baking sheet and pop them in the oven for the last 5-10 minutes, or until starting to crisp on the outside.

To assemble your sliders, split the buns – my favourite pastime – lather with beetroot tzatziki, top with the pattie and cheese, and close before smashing. Greedily. Immediately.

 

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Geoffrey Vetkoeke-Tonnesen

Bread, Side, Snack, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Island of Secrets, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor South Africa the merge proved a trying time for Nicole, who was reunited with her amigos straight after blindsiding their dear friend Nathan. While she tried hard to win them back over, they all had their doubts and had moved on to new alliances. Dante and Meryl tried to pull back Jacques and Cobus, while Mike was reunited with Mmaba and Geoffrey and hoped to be able to work together. After Steffi snatched immunity and sent herself to the Island of Secrets, the spitshake crew rallied together to split the vote between Meryl and Geoffrey, ultimately sending Meryl to become the Queen of the Jury without upsetting Dante, who they may need further down the road.

Back at camp Rob was thrilled at the perfect execution of their plan, while Geoffrey was nervous about how many people were against him despite being thankful to have stayed. He tried to clear the air with the tribe, assuring them that he holds no ill will, though since Jacques was making jokes about trying to vote him out twice, I’m not sure he will be getting very far. The next day the tribe were miserable as the rain hammered their camp. Well except for Rob, who was sitting pretty in the seven, though decided that pulling Durao in would also be a good idea for him. They went for a walk down the beach, with Rob pledging loyalty to him and while it is good for Durao, I’m not sure Rob bringing everyone in is a great idea. He then approached Nicole to fill her in on the alliance and vowed to protect her, now extending the alliance to nine which is extremely shortsighted.

Nico made a relatively early return for the reward challenge where the tribe would be split into three teams, run through a series of obstacles while collecting bags of discs which they slide up a curved wall and attempt to land it in a basket. It was for a spa reward, complete with snacks, sandies and drinks, so everyone was desperate for the win. 

Geoffrey, Durao, Dante and Mmaba got out to an early lead with Rob, Nicole, Mike and Jacques, while Steffi, Laetitia, Seipei and Cobus brought up the rear. Rob, Nicole, Mike and Jacques made quick work of the second and third obstacles, gaining a slight lead, landing the first two points before anyone was on the board. Dante closed the gap and took the lead until Rob clawed it back. They were neck and neck, going point for point until Dante scored their tenth point and secure immunity before Seipei, Steffi, Laetitia and Cobus even scored a point. With Queen Laetitia particularly pissed, since Nico kept pointing out that she was the reason they lost. Before the victors headed out to the spa, they decided to send Jacques to the Island of Secrets, hopeful that they can trust him to fill them in on what happens while he’s away.

Back at camp Laetitia was still upset about letting her team down, feeling like she is losing her dignity and pride so requested that they vote her out at the next tribal council. While everyone was supportive, Mike preferred that she quit rather than waste being able to get rid of someone they want. Thankfully she changed her mind however, vowing to stay and honestly I’m a little confused slash suffering from whiplash. At reward Dante was feeling left right out so decided it was the right time to make friends, telling Geoffrey, Mmaba and Durao that he would rather align with the three of them rather than the other group and given Geoffrey was trashed, he was receptive to the idea. Particularly since he can pull in Laetitia and Cobus to snatch the majority. Finally we checked in with Jacques on the Island of Secrets who was gifted another advantage, this time a reward steal which he was giddy to use at the family visit. Whenever it may be. Back at reward Durao and Dante went to shower, tragically alone, while Mmaba and Geoffrey ran the numbers before they traded out, all got massages and basically were loving life.

The next day Rob and Steffi caught up with Durao to find out what happened on the reward challenge, with Durao spilling the beans on Dante’s attempts at making allianced and despite scrambling being the nail in Meryl’s coffin, Rob didn’t seem to be too scared about Dante. Instead finding it endearing. Geoffrey and Mike then caught up with Geoffrey pointing out the Durao is shifty and tried to convince Mike that working with Dante would be in their best interests.

Nico returned for this week’s immunity challenge where the tribe would be submerged under a grate as the tide rises, with the last person to stay underwater snatching immunity. Before throwing them underwater, Nico advised that not everyone had to compete and if people were feeling safe, they could opt to sit out and smash some Nachos, with Cobus, Seipei and Jacques preferring to eat instead of compete. Almost immediately Mmaba dropped out, no doubt regretting the choice not to smash some nachos instead. Durao and Mike quickly followed, with Laetitia dropping after half an hour before Dante and Nicole joined her. After an hour it was down to Rob, Steffi and Geoffrey who were all completely submerged with the latter dropping first, before Steffi eventually couldn’t hold on any longer, handing Rob immunity.

Back at camp the tribe congratulated Rob on his crazy performance in the challenge before Rob doubled down on his plan to get rid of Geoffrey. Meanwhile Zadante approached Jacques to figure out what their plan is, with Jacques worried that he needs to cut ties with Zadante ASAP. Seipei and Cobus caught up to lock in their votes on Geoffrey, with Seipei approached Jacques and Steffi to make sure they were on the same page. Rob and Mike agreed to get rid of Geoffrey, which made Mike feel upset given he was aligned with Geoffrey and if he backs out of the vote, his new alliance will no longer trust him. He approached Geoffrey who was hopeful about his ability to pull someone else in. Rob tried wooing Zadante back at camp, pointing out what his vote would say to try and get him into the fold. Dante took that intel directly to Geoffrey and neither of them could seem to get on the same page, with Dante wanting him to vote out Nicole despite it being one of Geoffrey’s closest allies. Geoffrey and Nicole caught up, with the former vowing to never write her name down, while the latter deliberately ignored returning the favour.

Geoffrey then approached Durao to find out which way his was leaning, unaware that he too had been swept up into Rob’s group. This left Geoffrey with only Mike and Mmaba left to trust, with Mike concerned that there is no way that he can continue to play with both of his alliances. Durao and Rob caught up again, with Durao laying out where all the votes lay and hot damn, Durao is low key the best social player right now. Rob and Geoffrey got together to clear the air, with Rob concerned that Geoffrey was targeting Nicole. He desperately tried to convince him of his loyalty, pointing out that Dante was trying to get her out instead however it doesn’t actually look like Rob is buying it.

At tribal council Steffi pointed out that the tribe is clearly divided into multiple alliances, which Dante agreed with and pointed out that anything is enough to become a target at the moment. Cobus said there is scheming going on all over the beach and while you can see some of it, there is a hole lot that people are missing. Durao talked about the lols of seeing Geoffrey and Dante buddying up at reward, given they straight up hated each other mere episodes ago. Durao then continue to dig Geoffrey and Dante’s hole, pointing out that the boys talked about aligning and suggested targets. This led to Geoffrey coy outing someone that is clearly Dante for trying to get him to betray Nicole before Rob reminded people that they need to stop looking too far ahead, given it could burn potential bridges later down the road. Jacques admitted that if other people are locking in final fours, the other eight need to come together to get rid of them before likening the hierarchy to that of upper management. I assume, like a board of directors. Geoffrey brought up the importance of trust which Jacques agreed with, though said that in reality, allegiances will shift after each vote and people need to accept that.

Talk turned to the vote ahead, with Rob saying he is sticking with his alliance, Dante going with individuals that he trusts and hopes to earn theirs in return before Mike shared that he hates tribal, which is inevitable and he needs to just get over it. Meanwhile Geoffrey is sticking with his heart. With that the tribe voted and sadly nobody’s heart was with him, sending Geoffrey from the game as the second juror.

It feels like nobody is going to wake up to the fact that the amigos will always stick together until it is too late and while that – and the fact I still miss Tania – has me feeling hella bummed, I was ok to welcome Geoff into Ponderosa. I mean, at least it wasn’t Dante, you know? Obviously I didn’t mention that as we toasted his game and smashed a bunch of Geoffrey Vetkoeke-Tonnesen.

While these are essentially just rolls, the fact that they are fried make them something special. Extra crispy and crunchy on the outside, still soft, fluffy and warm on the inside – they make a strong case for just eating bread as is. No ifs, ands, butters or condiments.

Enjoy!

Geoffrey Vetkoeke-Tonnesen
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 ½ tbsp muscovado sugar
1 tsp kosher salt
7g yeast
2 ½ cups flour
vegetable oil, to fry

Method
Combine the sugar, salt and yeast in a jug with 1 cup of lukewarm water and leave to rest for five minutes.

Place the flour in the bowl of a stand mixer, add the yeast mixture and knead for about five minutes. Transfer to an oiled bowl, cover and leave to prove for a couple of hours.

Once doubled in size, transfer to a floured surface and punch back. Break into small ½ cup sized balls and place on a lined baking sheet.

To cook, heat 10cm worth of oil in a dutch oven and bring to 180C. Once hot, add the dough a couple of balls at a time and fry for five minutes, or until golden and crisp. Transfer to paper towel and leave to drain. Repeat until done and then devour, happily.


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Rusk-Lee Smith

Baking, Bread, Side, Snack, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Island of Secrets, TV, TV Recap


Previously on Survivor South Africa sweet, sexy Rocco was blissfully unaware that Laumei – minus Queen Laetitia, obviously – was out to get him, while Seipei was officially welcomed to the amigo alliance at Sa’ula and they became a tight little group. So tight that they finally managed to snatch immunity and avoid the third tribal council. So did Ta’alo’s Tania, who went to the Island of Secrets and was given the chance to select which tribe she joined after the upcoming swap. With their obvious target out of the way, they set their sights on Ting Ting instead. However she and Jacques concocted a plan to idol out Cobus instead. However, again, Jacques got cold feet and instead played the idol for himself, saving Cobus, and sending his ally Ting Ting from the game and making himself four enemies in the process.

Back at camp Jacques was feeling the heat as his tribemates questioned why he didn’t trust them and unleashed their rage, while he awkwardly tried to get out of it and pray for a swap. The next day Jacques was still feeling the heat, with Felix and Cobus vowing to ice him if he dared cross them again. Proving, I guess, why he should flip ASAP. Meanwhile over at Laumei Wendy must have paid them a visit, as the chickens were freely wandering around camp as the tribe desperately tried to get them back. We were also reminded there is someone called Durao playing the game. Finally we checked in with Sa’ula where they were still riding the high from winning a challenge, hopeful that they could kick off a winning streak and stick together until the end.

Right on cue the tribe met Nico where they learnt the tribes would be swapping and Sa’ula won’t in fact be able to stick together. With that, Nathan and Steffi stayed on Sa’ula and were joined by Mmaba, Geoffrey, Mike and Cobus while Nath’s love Rob joined Nicole, Laetitia, Rocco, Dante and Meryl on the new Ta’alo and Seipei was all alone on new Laumei with Rose-Lee, Durao, Felix, Jacques and Tania, who opted to join Laumei given she holds Seipei responsible for saving her by going to the Island of Secrets. Oh and more importantly, she had a Coach-esque stick. Which I love. Give her the win immediately, TBH.

Back at the new Laumei camp Seipei was feeling the pain, having lost her comfort with only chickens to dull the pain. We continued to meet Durao who was feeling nervous given his only former tribemate is Rose-Lee. Instead of blending in, Tania opted to berate Felix for voting out Ting Ting and using the excuse that she wasn’t as strong as Meryl. Clearly highlighting their fractured relationship, giving those without numbers hope. We dropped by the new Sa’ula where Steffi and Nathan showed everyone around their plush digs and while they are now in the minority, they are hopeful of pulling in Cobus and saving themselves. They then offered up some peace bananas before disappointing everyone with the news that Rob keeps their flint in his pocket and as such, they now have no fire. Speaking of Rob and his flint, he made instant friends on his new tribe with that information. He and Nicole then lied about Paul and his idol, hopeful that they could throw everyone off the scent and snatch the idol at this camp. Sadly for them, Dante gave them a tribal council play by play, clueing them in that the idol had already been claimed and their plant was a bust. Though let’s be honest the biggest loser here is Meryl, who wished that Dante had kept his beautiful mouth shut.

We returned to new Sa’ula where talk turned to the clue or flint dilemma of episode one, as Mike questioned why Paul didn’t give them an idol. Nathan and Steffi then explained that the idol wasn’t used and went missing, and TBH they just lost their target because they seem way too trusting. Almost as soon as Mike realised that there was an idol sitting under the Laumei well, we returned to find Jacques finding his second idol of the season. Thankfully instead of seeing him gloat, we saw Seipei and Tania go for a walk and pledge their loyalty to each other and hot damn, Tania and the Sa’ula five for final six please! Rose-Lee and Durao were also catching up, lamenting just how screwed they are, hoping that they could figure out the second-hand clue that Rocco stole from Paul to snatch the idol … that Jacques just found.

My dear Nico returned for this week’s immunity challenge where the tribes would traverse a course with planks, collecting tribe members at various stages and adding planks to their little train. Once at the end, they would use the aforementioned planks to build stairs and then land sacks on boxes. Oh and in addition to immunity, the victors would get a massive Steers feast while second place gets a rack of ribs. Rob got new Ta’alo to an early lead before he and Dante made the sexiest train I’ve ever seen. Though Cobus and Nathan looked pretty hot on Sa’ula, to be fair. In any event Laumei struggled from the start and Durao hadn’t even picked up a friend while the other two tribes started work on their stair puzzle. Given Rocco is an Olympian, he made swift work landing the first sack … until Laetitia proved to be a beast and land the next two. Steffi managed to even things up as Laumei finally arrived at the stairs and tied things up as everyone started to panic. Ultimately it was all for nought as Rocco snatched victory for Ta’alo, while Mike snatched second for Sa’ula after a pep talk from Steffi.

Before Ta’alo went back to camp to smash their ribs, Nico reminded them that they need to send someone to the Island of Secrets and keep them safe from the vote tonight. And given how much they hate Tania, Dante and Meryl suggested Seipei to force them into voting out Tania instead. Oh and then Rob asked Nico if he could return the flint he stole to Sa’ula and got a sweet, sweet hug from his beloved Nathan.

Ta’alo returned to camp to see the spoils of their victory, joyously throwing the ribs on the grill and rivalled Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally as they smashed rack after rack. Over at Sa’ula they too were thrilled to find their comparatively measly rack of ribs, though they still carved them up and went to town on them. Though let’s be honest, this is probably better as they didn’t have to compete with giant flames. Nathan then casually dropped that old tribes were dead to him and everyone now has new allegiances, however Mike wasn’t buying it, given Rob and Nicole saved Seipei by sending her to the Island of Secrets. So you know there is going to be some drama there. Speaking of Seipei, she was glad to finally visit the Island of Secrets, though wished it didn’t come at the expense of a feast of ribs. She then learnt that she doesn’t even get an advantage thanks to her semi-immunity, further irritating her as she wanted to prove the loyalties she had already teed up.

Speaking of Laumei, Durao was apologising for choking at the challenge while Tania assured him it didn’t matter as they managed to catch up. Rose-Lee addressed the elephant in the tribe, questioning whether they will stick together and vote her or Durao out. Speaking of the duo, they gave up on finding an idol and instead got to work making a fake one that they could hopefully leverage to secure themselves safety. Jacques then caught up with Felix and shared the news of his legit idol find to try and lock in his loyalty, before Felix suggested that that will only happen if he can hold on to the idol at tribal council. This pissed off Jacques, who was aghast at the thought of handing over his idol and while they agreed to vote together, I don’t see this having a happy ending.

They then joined Tania to confirm who they would vote for, agreeing that Rose should go tonight and while they may not feel close, they have no choice but to stick together. While Jacques wandered away to simmer in his juices, Felix filled Tania in on their drama and explained what happened at the last tribal. And just like that, Tania is finally in a power position. Durao opted to talk to Jacques, hopeful that he could pull him to his and Rose’s side with the allure of their fake idol, tragically unaware that he was talking to the owner of the real idol.

At tribal council Felix spoke about feeling mildly confident, given he, Tania and Jacques at least have the numbers from their OG tribe. Tania agreed it was important with Jacques agreeing that this is a great opportunity to whittle away at some of the Laumei numbers. Durao agreed that since Laumei had the numbers, it would be good to align with Durao given he has friends. Jacques explained that if Rocco and Laetitia liked them, they would have saved Durao or Rose-Lee rather than letting them attend tribal council. Jacques then detailed why the decision was stupid, suggesting he or Felix would have given them the best hope because at least then they would have Seipei as a swing vote, while Rose just argued about all the ways Rocco liked them. Talk turned to the idol before Durao casually mentioned that he had it, though TBH, it looked like no one believed them. And Queen Tania gave zero fucks, saying that either way one of them is going home and as such, they should take a chance. Jacques and Tania spoke about staying Ta’alo strong and sending the message to their former tribe that they will stick together at the merge.

Everyone grew tired and asked to vote, except for Duraro who instead just wanted to give Rose a hug since they are screwed. Then they voted and Durao’s hug proved to be the kiss of death, as Rose was sent from the game with only the love and support of Rocco as consolation. Sweet Rose-Lee took her boot on the chin, knowing that there wasn’t really anything she could do to change her fate. Which was kind of my pep talk, so instead I gave her a hug and sent her on her way with a fresh batch of Rusk-Lee Smith.

While they may not look like the most exciting thing, these sweet little scone-biscuit hybrids are near perfection. Particularly dunked in a fresh coffee on a cold day.

Enjoy!

Rusk-Lee Smith
Serves: 4-8.

Ingredients
1kg self-raising flour
250g butter
1 cups raw caster sugar
1 tsp salt
2 eggs, whisked 
1 ½ tsp vanilla extract
3 cups buttermilk

Method
Preheat the oven to 160C.

Grate the butter into the flour in a large bowl, and using your hands, rub them together until it resembles wet sand. Knead in the sugar and salt, followed by the eggs and vanilla, followed by the buttermilk, little by little, until it comes together like a scone dough. Aka soft and sticky, but not wet.

Using wet hands, form the dough into half cup-sized balls, and pop on lined baking sheets. Transfer to the oven and bake for 45 minutes to an hour, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean. Transfer to a wire rack and allow to cool slightly, while reducing the oven to 80C. 

While still warm, use a bread knife and slice into thick biscotti-esque shapes and return to the oven to dry out completely, or about two hours. Before removing and allowing to cool completely. 

Then, and only then, devour them with a fresh cuppa.


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Paulerewors Smulders

Main, Party Food, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Island of Secrets, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor South Africa we were introduced to the Island of Secrets which seems to be the love child of a threesome between Exile Island, Ghost Island and Survivor NZ’s The Outpost. While we’re yet to know which parent it takes after most, the first visit offered three competitors to take a reward for their tribe or a clue to the hidden immunity with Cobus and Paul opting to serve themselves while one of my top three crushes, Rocco took a flint for his tribe. And stole said clue when Paul had dropped trou. Rocco’s only downside appeared to be his desire to form an all male alliance – surprisingly a boner killer for me – on Laumei, with Mike my only hope for ending the plan. On Ta’alo we met the instantly iconic Tania who is bae, except to literally everyone on her tribe who she was driving completely nuts. Over at Sa’ula Paul tried to use his hidden immunity idol clue to further their tribe, though it did sweet FA when they didn’t have fire to keep them warm and sustained ahead of the immunity. Which they promptly lost, zaddy Nathan was injured and a shy Lee-Anne became the first boot.

Back at camp Seipei was thrilled to have survived tribal by the skin of her teeth and was fired up to use her powers of persuasion to get further. And keep the tribe together. The next day we dropped by Ta’alo where Cobus was sharing his immunity idol clue with Jacques, and the two of them went hunting around the well before the tribe awoke. Cobus was terrified that he would be an idiot that had the clue but couldn’t find the idol, before Jacques promptly found the idol, pocketed it in secret and made pocket zaddy Cobua look stupid. We ventured back to Sa’ula where Nicole continued to win her tribe over, cooking them breakfast and working hard. She and Paul then went for a walk to figure out who would be in the top of their five person alliance, with Paul wanting to lock in a three with Nicole and Steffi, though Nicole was more interested in focusing on Seipei and worrying about the rest when they need it. Nathan was still smarting over his injury, and while Rob vowed to carry him all the way if required, Nathan wanted to be independent like one Ms. Kelly Clarkson.

Meanwhile over at Laumei the tribe were complaining about the cold, while Mike was confident that Laetitia would be the first boot. Though given Geoffrey and Rocco are close to her and want to keep her safe, I am hopeful. The boys got together in the ocean and discussed Laetitia being the obvious target however Mike was concerned that Rocco was more interested in taking out Mmaba, which made Mike interested in getting out Rocco first. With that, he approached Rose, Geoffrey and Mmaba about forming a strong four, which they were all thrilled to agree to.

We returned to Ta’alo where Cobus was working his way up into my heart, though was sadly getting sick of Tania’s constant focus on strategy as it was doing his head in. Felix and Jacques caught up to bitch about Tania’s attitude, before branching out and realising that everyone wants her out. To make matters worse, she stole Felix’s dry spot in the shelter and refused to get out. They then had a blow-up about the pitch before she tried to play the hero and move to a different spot, which did nothing but drive everyone mad.

My boy Nico returned for this week’s reward and immunity challenge, with only one tribe coming out victorious. To secure victory one person from each tribe would be tethered to a tower and required to collect pieces to form a tower made out of balls and discs. The winner would get the option of fishing gear or chickens in addition to immunity, while the losers would return the next day to battle it out for the second immunity. Oh and second place gets the booby prize. Rocco – looking great in lycra – got out to an early lead for Laumei, with Jacques close behind for Ta’alo while poor Steffi was on struggle street for . Jacques dropped, followed by Rocco … and then Steffi, resetting the entire challenge. Eventually Rocco and his lycra buns took out victory, followed by Jacques and Ta’alo, handing Sa’ula another loss. Nico then gave Laumei another advantage of selecting who goes to the island of secrets, sending Rob and temporarily breaking up his romance with Nathan.

When Rob arrived at the island of secrets he was disappointed as it meant that he was epically failing at blending in. He then discovered a table with three boxes, offering him the chance to select to send someone to the island of secrets at a later date with the risk of his vote at the next tribal council. Given he is in a strong alliance, he gave zero fucks about risking his vote … so rolled the dice and lost his vote at the upcoming tribal council.

Meanwhile Laumei were thrilled to welcome the chickens into their camp, giddily naming them lunch and dinner. Giving me whiplash, we pivoted over to Ta’alo where they too were joking about what to eat for dinner before Dante stripped down to his speedos and proved that he is the ultimate snack. He then grabbed the spear, caught a gaggle of fish and served everyone sushi. Though sadly not on his naked body, Samantha Jones style. We then checked in with Sa’ula and let’s just say, the mood was not great. Steffi apologise for losing the challenge and then went and cried by the shore by herself. Wait, no, she went and found her pals and cried in their arms and it turned out far more heartwarming than expected. The next day their moods were slowly turning around, waiting for Rob’s return and trying to get their head in the game for the immunity challenge. Nathan was rocking a South African flag speedo and well, he and Dante are winning at life, so neither needs to worry.

The tribes arrived at the site of the immunity challenge where Nico explained that working in pairs, each tribe will run out into the ocean and battle to grab a ring and get it back to their pole before the other. Needing one hand on the ring and the other on their pole to secure victory. I’m not even going to say it because I feel the cast is making me to thirsty, so you’re welcome for me not making a comment and about the rings and poles. Until then. First up were Rob and Paul facing off against Dante and Felix, with the boys are writhing around with the ring until Dante slapped his pole and took out victory. Next up Cobus and Tania battled Nathan and Seipei, with Nathan not letting his injury hold him back by quickly grabbing the ring … until queen Tania and Cobus managed to pull them over for an explosive finish. Steffi and Nicole made quick work of Meryl and Ting Ting before Felix and Dante went out to face off against Paul and Rob, while Nathan was pulled from the challenge by medical. Despite getting out to an early lead, Rob was caught up by Felix and Dante, giving them enough room to slide the ring over to their pole and take out immunity, sending Sa’ula back to tribal council.

Back at camp Paul started to worry about following through on a Seipei vote, given Nathan is falling apart. Before they could discuss it, Rob filled them in on what happened at the Island of Secrets before Paul explained that they decided he could wear the idol tonight so that he can feel safe. Steffi and Nicole went to fetch water to discuss getting rid of Nathan to try and keep the tribe as strong as possible, despite liking him. They then discussed how good Seipei performed at the last tribal council and instead of being intimidated by her ability to talk her way out of situations, they viewed it as a strength and damn I need the three of them to align and run the game. Despite Nicole feeling like Steffi could be too devious to trust long term. Apparently, because she then floated her earlier discussion with Paul about forming a final three alliance and seemed to be on board with her again.

To make things more interesting, Paul arrived and was decidedly more non committal about said alliance which did make both the girls distrustful. He then tried to make them swear not to turn on him, which was quite hypocritical. Paul then tagged out with Rob to see how he felt about getting rid of Nathan, leading to Rob approaching Nathan to see how he was feeling and they both started to break down about him potentially leaving. Nathan then asked him to make sure that he is voted out tonight, because he doesn’t want to be an albatross around Rob’s neck. They then cried, hugged and went wandering through the jungle in lycra and I ship them. So hard.

At tribal council Rob spoke about the island of secrets and said he was upfront about his experience because he trusts them all implicitly. Steffi spoke about feeling down and starving, and hoped that they can use the humility to regroup. Paul argued it was more important to be confident going into challenges, rather than being defeated. Nathan addressed his injury and how humiliating it is before talk turned to trust, with he, Steffi and Rob talking about the need to find people you can trust, while Paul argued they need to focus on strength at the moment instead. This made Nicole, Steffi, Rob and Nathan start to get nervous and whisper, while Seipei agreed that they need to stay completely strong but danced around whether that was based around physical strength. Talk returned to Nathan’s injury with him pushing to be voted out before Nico interrupted him and told him that they medics are happy he can continue in the game, asking him to look at what else he brings to the tribe other than his foot. And I love Nico for shipping Nathrob too. Paul then danced around his plans for the endgame, which all but sealed his fate as the tribe locked in the vote against him and sent him packing as the second boot.

Poor Paul was shocked and heartbroken to find himself booted by his fellow amigos, but honestly, after wearing that teen cosplay, it was the right decision. Which I told him as he walked into my arms in Ponderosa. I mean, why hide your silverfox ways dressing like a High School douche? In any event, I looked past his fashion faux pas and focused on what I love most – sausage! In the form of a Paulerewors Smulders.

 

 

There is nothing more South African than a long, juicy, coiled boerewors. Packing so much flavour it will take your breath away, this sausage is the perfect thing to fill your mouth. Or a big, warm bun. (Lucky I found a recipe online here, as Samoa didn’t have a South African butcher close by).

Enjoy!

 

 

Paulerewors Smulders
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1kg brisket, minced
500g pork shoulder, minced
1 tbsp ground coriander seeds
1 tbsp salt
½ tsp ground allspice
½ tsp ground pepper
¼ tsp ground nutmeg
pinch of ground cloves
¼ cup malt vinegar
sausage casing

Method
Place the freshly minced meat in a large bowl with the spices and vinegar and mix until well combined.

Rinse and prepare the sausage casing as per the packet instructions. Thread onto the end of our sausage stuffing attachment – assuming you’re using a Kitchenaid like the dignified people you are – leaving about 10cm hanging off the end. Tie a knot in the end of the casing.

Turn the stuffer on – swoon – and load the casing as per the machine’s instructions, coiling into shape on a plate as you go until all the mixture has filled the casing and you’re left with a gloriously large coil. Insert two skewers through the centre to form an X to hold the sausage in place. Cover and refrigerate for at least 12 hours to allow the flavours to adequately meld.

When you’re ready to cook, preheat the oven to 180C.

Transfer the sausage to a lined baking sheet, brush with some olive oil and baking for 20 minutes, or until cooked through.

Serve immediately and devour greedily with your zaddy friends.

 

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Sosatie-Anne van Renen

Main, Party Food, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Island of Secrets, Tapas, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor South Africa wait, no, I’ve only dreamt about being alone in a tropical fantasy with Nico. We haven’t done this before. Deep in the South Pacific, Nico was was looking bae as he was about to dump 21 new castaways on the islands of Samoa. First up we met the Sa’ula tribe’s Nathan who was also a total babe and who was totally keen to play into his banging looks and pretend to be a dumb jock. Which I am here for if he is in on the joke, and preferably, is wearing a legit jock. On the Laumei tribe, typical first boot bait Laetitia was concerned about being an early target due to her age. Congratulations Laetitia, you’re immediately my favourite. Meanwhile the Ta’alo tribe was home to Jacques the superfan, who had a man bun but did not appear to be a total douche, making me wonder, maybe I actually can pull off a man bun if I can commit beyond the Rizzo phase my hair will go through?

Jacques’ tribemate Felix wasn’t feeling confident in their collective physicality and was concerned about their challenge prowess, despite them having a guy who’s guns and thighs were so built I would happily suffocate under them. Sorry, this is too much … but damn they have cast some banging men. On the flipside Geoffrey could see that the cast was stacked, but hoped to be able to navigate through them all given they look like the have throbbing … egos. Beauty Queen Nicole was clean to shed off the shine and get dirty, while Lee-Anne was confident her pageant past will help out her social game, Mike was interested to see just how rugged he will become, Steffi looked forward to winning and Rob was fearful about his passion to trust way too easily.

Oh and did I mention there is now an Island of Secrets which sounds like Ghost Island and New Zealand’s The Outpost had a child?

Finally the tribes arrived on shore to meet Nico where Ting Ting immediately won my heart by putting everyone into their stereotypical boxes of hotties and notties. Rob was feeling confident in Sa’ula’s prospects given they’re all built, which immediately makes me fear for their chances while Cobus was confident he will be able to dominate his tribe despite diplomatically saying how much he loves them all on site. Durao was happy to be on a tribe with the hulk, aka Rocco who was concerned that given he is so built he will be targeted as soon as the merge hits. And Laetitia was channelling Lisa, thrilled to tick off an item on the bucket list and with a full heart for the people sharing the mat with her. She is an icon and I stan her. Paul too was thrilled to be on a tribe with buff dudes, though was concerned that his age might put his on the outside straight away.

Not wasting any time, Nico asked each tribe to select a leader prior to the first reward challenge, with Paul, Rocco and Cobus immediately identified. Being a messy bitch, Nico then asked the three thrown under the bus upon taking the leadership mantle to identify their tribe’s weakest member with Paul giving Sa’ula’s title to Seipei, Rocco branding Laumei’s as Laetitia – because she’ll take the least offence – and Cobus giving the mantle to Jacques on Ta’alo. Nico then complicated things further by sending the leaders off to the Island of Secrets for the first day, while the weakest members were given the hero roll in the reward challenge, guiding their blindfolded tribemates to a bounty of supplies.

Given that he isn’t an idiot, Jacques noticed that there was a single item at the end of the course and realised it must be an advantage so sent Felix and Ting Ting to fetch it for him while everyone else focused on supplies. Given everyone is winners and losers, I will just focus on the fact that their weren’t really enough crotch smacks on the obstacles.

We quickly checked in with the zaddies of the Island of Secrets where they discovered a note which informed them to find a coloured station for each tribe offering them with a choice between flint or a clue to the hidden immunity idol back at camp. Rocco opted for the flint, while Cobus and Paul decided it was more important to focus on their own safety and went for the clue. Wait, no, Paul planned to find a tribe idol which you know is going to end terribly. After Paul stripped down, Rocco searched through his pants to read the clue giving him both rewards and damn, I love him.

Over at Ta’alo Ting Ting was thrilled to be playing the game, while Jacques wanted to do introductions. Tania though had no interest, desperate to get some water instead. We also but a name to the fine face that is Dante, who loves the ocean as much as I love the site of him. Meanwhile back at the well Tania was fast becoming my favourite, berating Jacques for getting married before 30 and then awkwardly hung around as Meryl casually dropped the fact she got married at 22. Oh and she is a proud rock climber slash stoner, and is the self-appointed strongest woman in the game. And yes, she is my favourite. Jacques quickly disappeared to learn that his advantage turned out to an extra vote that was only valid for the first tribal council after the merge.

We dropped by Sa’ula where they were all introducing themselves and Seipei was proving to be the icon of the tribe, explaining the pronunciation of her name as see it, you pay for it. Sadly her confidence was starting to wear on her tribemates as she directed them in building their shelter. While she and Lee-Anne were lugging supplies around, Nathan, Rob, Nicole and Steffi used the opportunity to form a tight alliance. We then learnt that Lea-Anne and Nicole had prior beef with each other as Nicole beat Lee-Anne in the Mrs South Africa pageant two years ago, and that she was out for blood now that she is the current reigning. Nicole wasn’t feeling as badly though, given that she was a winner. Oh and Steffi too is a beauty queen too. Lee-Anne and Seipei watched the four bond and despite the fact it should worry her, Lee-Anne wasn’t concerned about their obvious closeness on day one.

Finally we ventured over to Laumei where the tribe appeared to be getting on quite well, celebrating their wins and laughing about the absurdity of camp life. Geoffrey and Laetitia went to get water for the tribe, with the iconic Laetitia quickly checking for an idol without him noticing.

Back at Ta’alo Tania proved to be South Africa’s Debbie, working on fire and quickly annoying Felix, Ting Ting and Jacques giving that she doesn’t actually deliver on her promises. That night she continued to list an elaborate resume and background, including a bank-robber father. The next day Tania was confident about her mature brain, pulling the girls in to form an alliance as she has no interest in vote out women as she needs to further womankind. lInstantly Tania reneged on that deal, pulling Ting Ting aside to point out Meryl as their weakest and potentially icing her out and going with the strong boys that Tania is confident will want to align with her. Which obviously made Ting Ting nervous as you literally can’t predict what she will do. Before we could learn anything further, Cobus arrived to the delight of his tribe – until they discovered he didn’t come bearing a flint – as he covered the fact he took an advantage. Sensing a psychic link, Tania pulled Cobus aside to assure him that they will be allies if he can pull in Dante. And giving Dante is wearing speedos, I really need to pull … well, you know. Despite Tania’s intensity being a boner killer for Cobus and Dante. But those read jocks? No boners killed here.

Paul returned to Sa’ula and immediately shared the clue for the hidden immunity idol and suggested it be used to further their tribe when needed. Which Seipei loved, given it shows he isn’t the most cut-throat competitor. Rob, Nicole and Nathan pulled Paul aside to assure him that he is part of their alliance with Steffi. The tribe were busy hunting for the idol, with Lee-Anne feeling insecure as Nicole ultimately snatched the idol. The alliance of four and Paul were thrilled to have discovered the idol, however were annoyed that Lee-Anne was around and they couldn’t keep it a secret. They then handed it over to Paul for safe keeping, which is quite possibly the worst decision. But whatevs.

Rocco arrived at the Laumei tribe and immediately threw Cobus and Paul under the bus, pulling out his rock-hard flint and letting everyone know that the others selected a clue to the hidden immunity idol. Rocco continued to be swoon worthy, saying he loves Laetitia because that is his mum’s name and then asked everyone what they’d like him to help out with. He then followed Mike and Durao to collect supplies and float the idea of an all male alliance before sharing the  clue to the hidden immunity idol with him, which immediately makes me question him. Just like Mike, who knows all male alliances suck. Rocco then approached Geoffrey who was more keen on an alliance, not caring who the other members are as long as they’re in the majority. Mike and Geoffrey then caught up in the ocean, with Mike airing his concerns about aligning with Rocco since her wants a four with Rose, Mmaba and Geoffrey given it has the potential to be more stable. Sadly Geoffrey feels left right out in Mike’s alliance and would prefer to be with Rocco, which TBH is totally my vibe too.

Nico finally returned for the first immunity challenge of the season where the tribes would start by disassembling a puzzle on a pontoon in the ocean and bringing the pieces to shore over obstacles, including a fuck-off-tall a-frame, before solving the puzzle on the beach. More importantly Dante was wearing speedos, so he is currently my favourite. Laumei got out to an early lead, with Ta’alo close behind while the physically stacked Sa’ula bringing up the rear. Ta’alo arrived to build the puzzle well ahead of the other tribes, while poor Laetitia struggled to cross the balance beam, sending Laumei into last place. Eventually all three tribes arrived at the puzzle stations, while Nathan appeared to have injured his ankle. The puzzle proved extremely difficult, as the tribes continued to work for over an hour and a half before Ta’alo finally put us out of our misery and took out the first immunity before Durao secured the second one for Laumei, sending the stacked Sa’ula to the first tribal council of the season.

Rob carried an injured Nathan back into camp, assuring him that he is not going to be targeted and he is still not the weakest person on the tribe. The tribe then handed off the idol to Nathan as a sign of good faith, filling Seipei with dread given she and Lee-Anne are clearly on the outs. She approached Nathan to assure him that she wants to stay in the game and will do what it takes. Steffi and Lee-Anne caught up by the well, with the latter throwing Seipei under the bus and suggesting Nathan as an option because of his injury. Lee-Anne then mentioned that she wanted to go to the final three with Steffi and Nicole given their shared pageant history, though Steffi questioned her as to why it took her until day three to actually talk to her and damn, Steffi is good. Real good. We then learnt that Paul was doing some teenager cosplay as he caught up with Nicole and Rob to debate the merits of keeping Lee-Anne or Seipei, with Nicole scared that she can’t trust her. Lee-Anne approached them to explain why she hasn’t spoken to them, as she was busy babysitting Seipei the first few days. Steffi broke things up and pulled Nicole, Rob and Paul to talk to Seipei about why they should target Lee-Anne rather than balls terrible attempt at modern streetwear. While Steffi didn’t like Seipei’s bossy, chatty approach, Nicole still wasn’t sure whether she could trust Lee-Anne. Lee-Anne was laying it on thick, breaking down talking about how much she looks up to her and that she will be loyal to the end. Which Nicole agreed with, neglecting to mention the ‘loyal to the end’ part.

At tribal council Nicole was quick to point out how much the bonds are already meaning to her, while Steffi pointed out that Lee-Anne has been struggling to bond with people which made her feel nervous. Lee-Anne sold it as adapting to her current situation, while Steffi, Rob and Nathan started whispering to each other about turning on Lee-Anne as she spoke about her struggles. Nico called out Nathan, who defended himself by saying it is just such a difficult decision. The whispering continued as Seipei spoke about the importance of diversifying their options, Rob admitted to being confused about the vote given everything has changed by the whispering.

Lee-Anne wanted to know what she did wrong, Steffi felt everyone needs to fight for their life at tribal and stay strong to avoid coming back, Nicole and Nathan admitted to being confused about the vote ahead before Nico opened the floor for everyone to discuss who to take out. Steffi laughed as no one spoke up, Seipei pointed out that she wanted to have these discussions back at camp before Nathan assured everyone that his vote hasn’t changed. Lee-Anne tried to convince everyone that she should stay as she lifts everyone up and wants to get to know everyone before Rob cut her off and just requested to vote. And vote they did. For Lee-Anne, who was heartbroken to find herself becoming the first boot.

While Lee-Anne was gutted to become the first boot, she was thrilled to hold the distinction of being the first South African castaway to join the party that is this here patch of cyberspace. Conveniently she is also a dear friend of mine, after we met on the pageant circuit. She hired me to coach her after her first Mrs. South Africa competition and under my tutelage, she finally snagged the crown. In no small part thanks to a diet of solely Sosatie-Anne van Renen.

 

 

Did I mention that this season is full of South African delicacies? Well it is. And thanks to this sweet number, I am well on my way to becoming a fan of the cuisine. Rich, tasty lamb, sweet apricots and a kick of spice are the perfect way to welcome Survivor SA to the fam.

Enjoy!

 

 

Sosatie-Anne van Renen
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 cup apricot jam
¼ cup champagne vinegar
1 lime, juiced and zested with extra wedges to serve
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 tbsp ginger, minced
2 tsp ground coriander
4 whole cloves
1 tsp ground chilli
½ tsp ground allspice
½ tsp ground cumin
salt and pepper, to taste
1kg lamb, cut into 2.5cm cubes
24 dried apricots
2 red onions, cut into thin wedges
mint sprigs, to serve

Method
Combine the jam, vinegar, lime zest and juice, garlic, ginger, coriander, cloves, chilli, allspice, cumin and salt and pepper in a large bowl. Toss through the lamb and transfer to the fridge to marinate for 3 hours.

Preheat oven to 180C.

Once almost ready to assemble, place the apricots in boiling water to plump up for half an hour and then drain completely.

Now to assemble, thread the lamb on a skewer, followed by apricots and onions, alternating until the skewer is full. Transfer to a lined baking sheet and repeat the process until done. Place the skewers in the oven and bake for half an hour, brushing with marinade every five minutes or so, and cook until golden and glorious.

Devour with a good squeeze of lime and some mint leaves.

 

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Gazpachjoe Anglim

Main, Snack, Soup, Survivor, Survivor: Cambodia - Second Chance, Survivor: Edge of Extinction, Survivor: Worlds Apart, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Survivor, nothing evidently happened despite Kama winning immunity again – and Joe avoiding pre-merge tribal council for another season – sending both Lesu and Manu to tribal council to vote out one person, like the tragic Game Changers tribal that cost my love Malcolm his place in the game. While both tribes were locked down tribal lines on the first vote between Lauren and Wendy, the OG Kamas decided Wendy wasn’t worth rocks and flipped to send her to the Edge of Extinction.

But again, nothing happened because we’re going straight to a damn challenge.

Probst brought the three tribes to a field with six challenge set-ups instead of three and quickly welcomed them to the merge. While Gavin was excited to have made the merge, he was nervous about what was waiting for them around the corner … before Probst teased an iconic moment, sharing that they literally need to worry about what is around the corner as Reem, Keith, Chris, Rick, Aubry and Wendy were brought back in. Jeff then filled the merged tribe in on the Edge of Extinction and everyone, hopefully, felt super stupid for not realising something was up given the name of the season.

But we’re not here to make them feel stupid, we’re here for a challenge and damn what a challenge the losers face. They will each climb over an obstacle, complete a jailbreak and then guide a ball through an upright snake puzzle. We then learnt that Keith in fact did choose to disadvantage Chris with extra knots, giving him the advantage and disadvantage on top of potentially tripping on his package. Chris got out to an early lead with the extra knots proving zero difficulty, while Aubry, Rick and Wendy were right behind him. Aubry dominated the jailbreak, making it to the puzzle first, while Chris, Rick, Wendy and Reem followed. Oh and the knots were this section, so everyone got to practice the puzzle, while Chris untied the knots and Keith still struggled with his pole. Wendy was dominating the puzzle and close to the end before her tourettes started to act up, as she dropped just before snatching victory. Chris almost won and then dropped at the last moment before Rick snatched his win and a place on the merged tribe.

The losers rallied around to congratulate him while breaking down over their losses, before Probst filled the merge tribe in on the fact that Extinction would be resetting and they will all have a shot to return. The five remaining losers remained to chat with Probst, as Aubry shared how much Survivor has given her and helped her grow over the years. Reem shared that Survivor was her dream and how hellish extinction was, but how proud she was to not raise the mast. Keith spoke about his pride in not giving up, Wendy felt bad that she didn’t spend as long at extinction while Chris spoke about how he had always wanted to be perfect and extinction taught him that it doesn’t matter and he can just be himself. And now my heart swells like my pants whenever I look at him. They all held each other close before Probst gave them the opportunity to return to the Edge of Extinction and wait for another shot to return, making them all giddy as they accepted the offer once again and I am so glad I can make more jokes about Chris raising my mast. Because he can get it and I need to see him in every damn episode.

We returned to the merge camp where the tribe discovered the feast, which filled Julia with so much joy because of the epic majority and the abundance of food. The tribe found out about life on extinction while Kelley lamented the pain of having Rick, of all people, back despite the fact Reem hated her so much more. On the flip side Julie found a bond with Rick and wanted to work with him and help him avoid going back to extinction, since she never wants to go there herself

Speaking of extinction Chris, Aubry and Reem huddled together as Keith and Wendy approached the flag and HOT DAMN WE HAVE SOME QUITS! After arriving back, they realised that they could not be fucked waiting around for another three weeks and as such, officially became the first and second boots. The other three however, were galvanised and vowed to continue to fight.

Back at the merge tribe Kelley and Lauren caught up to worry about Rick’s return and the fact they need to find some cracks if they want to survive. Speaking of cracks, Kelley pulled Joe aside to see whether this will be the season they can actually pull off an alliance. She questioned whether the Aubry boot made him nervous, with Joe admitting that he, Aubry and Aurora were on the bottom which given basic maths, would say the Manus plus Joe and Aurora should have the majority if they can work together. But hold Kelley’s beer, because she doesn’t trust Rick and David and thinks they will go with the majority. As such, she wants to see Rick go straight back to extinction and approached the Kama women to float the idea. Sadly Julie had zero interest in sending him straight back, so while everyone seemed open to splitting the vote between David and Rick, Julie doesn’t seem like she will play along.

The next day we learnt the tribe settled on Vata as a name before Devens discovered a parcel in his bag, which is a best friend idol which he has to give half away and if they both survive the upcoming tribal council, the pieces join together to form a legit idol. And I think I made it sound more complicated than it is. That night, he approached David and passed off his half of the idol.

My boy Probst returned for the first individual immunity challenge of the season where they would each stand on a narrow beam and balance a statue on the end of a pole. Ron dropped before Probst even finished intro-ing the challenge. He was quickly followed by Gavin before the tribe transitioned to a thinner part of the beam which cost Wardog, Devens and Victoria their shot at immunity. Aurora was taken out by a huge gust of wind before the third phase of the challenge which eventually took out Wentworth. Eric, Julia and David dropped as their transitioned to the narrowest point of the beam, leaving Julie, Joe and Lauren to battle it out for immunity. Out of nowhere Joe dropped, though it appeared quite theatrical … almost like he was throwing the challenge to appear less threatening. In any event Lauren finally dropped after struggling for much of the challenge, handing Julie immunity and damn I have a new Queen to root for.

Back at camp the tribe got to work scrambling, with Kelley continuing to push for Devens and Julie feeling safe enough to instead go for Kelley. She pulled in Victoria who was keen to get another vet out, before Julie approached Devens to say that he and David are safe while everyone else on his OG tribe were desperate to get rid of him. Devens filled in David on the betrayal and that Julie will tell them who to target but that someone from Lesu is likely to go. Ron and Joe caught up, with Joe asking Ron to follow Eric, Julie and Victoria to make sure his name doesn’t come up. His calm demeanor made Ron feel like he was planning to betray him and as such, he wanted the Kama 6 to band together to instead take out Joe as it may be their only chance. While Victoria still though Kelley was the safer option, she floated Ron’s plan with Eric and Gavin and they tried to decide who was best to get rid of first between Kelley and Joe. Julie was the voice of reason, sharing that whatever it is, the six of them need to come to a consensus as the vote will dictate the rest of the came.

At tribal council Joe, Julie, Julia, Ron and Aurora finally got their torches before Probst announced that Reem, Chris and Aubry stayed on extinction and as such would sit on the jury while they await their next bid to return. Julie shared that the game has finally begun for the five people that stayed on Kama, Ron admitted that he will always be Kama strong which made Kelley feel nervous, given she is back on the bottom. Again. Rick admitted that he was confused about the dynamics after being out of the game, while Victoria shared that sending him straight back would be evil and that there are bigger targets to focus on first. This made Joe very nervous as a challenge threat, which she said wasn’t the only threatening thing in the game. Ron felt there were no idols in the game, which Wardog said generally means four will pop up at tribal before Rick felt it was weird back at camp while they should have been scrambling, since Kama was calm and Joe lazed around painting the tribe flag. Ron pointed out that having the majority means you don’t need to scramble, which made Kelley remind them she is used to playing from the bottom which was ominous as they went to vote.

Once again both Lauren and Wentworth held strong and opted out of playing their idols as the first seven votes rolled in between Rick, David and Wentworth, before the final six landed on Joe and he found himself voted out of the game, much to Reem’s chagrin given her shot at returning just got that much worse. Because obviously Joe chose to go straight to extinction and for what feels like the first time in his three seasons, he is angry and has a fire to come back. Which is what I told him to do after jumping out from behind the sign and handing off a thermos of Gazpachjoe Anglim.

 

 

While the residents of Springfield find this chilly soup to be a total failure, this should prove just how majestic it can be. Fresh, zingy and packing a tonne of punch, there is no better meal to sip on whilst waiting on an island while getting abused by Reem.

Enjoy!

 

 

Gazpachjoe Anglim
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
½ cup olive oil
1.5kg tomatoes, halved
3 garlic cloves, crushed
½ tsp ground cumin
½ tsp ground coriander seeds
salt and pepper, to taste
½ cup crustless white bread, cubed
½ tsp demerara sugar
2 tbsp red wine vinegar
1 lebanese cucumber, diced
1 green capsicum, diced

Method
Preheat oven to 200C.

Toss the tomato and garlic through the olive oil, cumin, coriander and a good whack of salt and pepper, and place in the oven to scorch for ten minutes. Remove from the heat and transfer to a blender. Soak the bread in some water for a couple of minutes, before squeezing out the excess liquid and added to the blender with the sugar and vinegar. Blitz until everything is smooth.

Strain the soup into an airtight container and transfer to the fridge to chill for a few hours.

Once ice cold, serve with a sprinkling of cucumber and capsicum and a sprinkle of cumin. Devour.As you can probably tell, we are very

 

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Paulnapple Wupside Downs Cake

Baking, Cake, Dessert, Four and Three and Two and Done: A Farewell to Broad City, Snack, Sweets

After catching up with Abbi, Arturo, Hannibal and John, I am almost coming around to the idea that Broad City is coming to an end tomorrow, despite the fact it breaks my heart. Thankfully I am trying to focus on the positives, like Abbi doing Ilana at the co-op, Jaime becoming a citizen, Lincoln being Lincoln, Bevers literally being the worst and the discovery of Trey’s past as Kirk Steele. And damn did it make me fall even harder for my dear Paul W. Downs.

Like Abbi I started of hating Trey and episode by episode fell in love with him, which comes down to the comedic work and total charm of Paul.

While I didn’t meet him until Broad City, we fast became friends and I’m honoured that he came to me for advice on how to block the Kirk Steele scenes. While my infatuation made our friendship awkward for a brief period, I am thrilled that I was able to cool down and he never let it get in the way of our bond.

Paul being the absolute best, he arrived at my door with the inflatable pool toy and a visor and told me how grateful he was to be celebrating the show, and how much he wanted me … to have the props.

I mean, can you believe? He is a sweet angel. Just like my Paulnapple Wupside Downs Cake.

 

 

TBH I have always looked at this cake as kitsch krap, but somehow it defies my expectations and further proves that the ‘80s get a lot of unnecessary hate. A sweet and tart top, with melt in your mouth fluffy sponge, there is nothing better to while away an afternoon with a dear friend.

Enjoy!

 

 

Paulnapple Wupside Downs Cake
Serves: 8-12.

Ingredients
¾ cup unsalted butter
½ cup muscovado sugar
8 canned pineapple rings, juice, reserving ½ cup for the cake
12 maraschino cherries
1 ½ cups flour
1 tsp baking powder
¼ tsp salt
1 cup raw caster sugar
2 eggs

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C and spray the base of a 23cm cake pan with cooking spray.

Combine ¼ of a cup of butter with the muscovado in a saucepan and cook over medium heat until combined and slightly darkened. Remove from heat and pour directly into the cake tin.

Arrange the pineapple rings in the caramel and dot the maraschino cherries as artfully as you desire. Set aside.

Meanwhile whisk the dry ingredients together in a bowl, and cream the remaining butter and raw caster sugar in a stand mixer until light and fluffy. Agg one egg at a time, beat well after each addition. Add the dry ingredients and pineapple juice in thirds, alternating between each until it is well combined.

Spoon the batter over the fruit and gently smooth the top, being careful not to move or break the fruit. Transfer the cake to the oven to cook for 45 minutes, or until golden brown and an inserted skewer comes out clean.

Leave the cake to cool for ten minutes before flipping onto a serving plate … and devouring like it is Kirk Steele.

 

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John Gemburgerling

Burgers, Four and Three and Two and Done: A Farewell to Broad City, Main, Street Food

We’ve reached the halfway point of my farewell to Broad City – sniff, I love you Abbi, Arturo and Hannibal – and TBH, I am starting to overstay my welcome like Bevers. So obviously I got John Gemberling to drop by and allay my fears, and celebrate him the way that poor Bevers never really has.

While I’ve known John for quite some time form the ol’ UCB days, we didn’t grow close until he started working on Broad City. After the gals asked me to coach him on how to be as annoying as possible. Which would be a slight, if I didn’t know how loveable they find me.

John’s career has really taken off over the last few years and I am so proud of everything he has achieved. Particularly since, no doubt, my coaching helped him reach the pinnacle of success that is a part in the greatest animated program of all time, Big Mouth.

Back on topic though, I am so happy that John was able to fit me into his busy schedule and free-load off me in honour of the finale, by smashing a John Gemburgerling or seven.

 

 

While I didn’t invent the concept of a gem burger, I will take ownership for the majesty of this little baby. Crispy potato slabs work well with In’N’Out sauce, bacon and sweet, sweet onions to create one of the greatest burgers of all time, right Kanye?

Enjoy!

 

 

John Gemburgerling
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
80 Potato Jems
olive oil
2 onions, diced
¼ cup Shayonnaise Swain
2 tbsp ketchup
1 tbsp gherkin relish
½ tsp champagne vinegar
500g beef mince
salt and pepper
8 rashers streaky bacon
American mustard, to taste
4 slices American cheese

Method
Heat a waffle iron over medium heat, and assemble 10 gems per plate. Press to close and cook for five minutes each side, or until you have golden, crisp waffles. Repeat the process until you have 8 waffles.

Meanwhile heat a lug of oil in a saucepan over medium heat and sweat the onions for five minutes before reducing to low and caramelising for half an hour or so, adding a small amount of water if needed to deglaze the pan.

Next mix the mayo, ketchup, pickle and champagne vinegar in a jug and whisk to combine.

Squeeze as much liquid out of the mince as possible and place in a large bowl. Add a generous whack of salt and pepper and combine with your hands. Divide into 4 patties, place on a plate lined with cling, cover and place in the fridge for about an hour or so.

Heat a large pan or griddle and brush with oil, and cook the bacon until crispy. Remove to some kitchen paper.

Brush the pan with some more oil, if needed, and when searingly hot place the patties on the pan, pushing down with a spatula until they are roughly 1cm thick. Squeeze some mustard on the top and cook for a few minutes. Flip the patties and cook for a further minute.

To assemble, smear some sauce on a waffle and top with bacon, followed by caramelised onions and the pattie. Top with cheese and another drizzle of sauce before closing with one final waffle. Devour immediately.

 

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Chickwendy Empanadiaz

Main, Party Food, Snack, Survivor, Survivor: Edge of Extinction, Tapas, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor, two became three but the OG Manu’s still couldn’t seem to catch a break, with Wendy isolated with only her chickens for comfort, while the rest were shipped off to a new island and promptly continued their losing streak. When all hope appeared lost, David managed to snatch a come from behind immunity win, sending NuManu back to tribal council. And while it appeared Big Wendy was down for the count, Victoria pulled off an epic blindside by sending Queen Aubry to the Island of Extinction with an extra vote and idol in her pocket. And quickly ascended the throne to become Queen Victoria.

Or Queen Vicky, I can’t decide.

On the Island of Extinction Aubry was feeling the pain of following in JT’s footsteps, by being blindsided with some many advantages in his pocket. Despite being broken, she was hopeful as the only way is up for her, and she is going to wait around and get back when she can.

Before we could learn anything else, Jeff returned for this week’s reward challenge where the tribes would leap over tables, release some sandbags and then throw them at a target until flags are released. Given it is for coffee and snacks, I would literally destroy everyone if I was on that island. Surprisingly all three tribes were neck and neck by the time it came to tossing the sandbags, though hold Wardog’s beer, because he cannot throw and Lesu are back in last. Obviously Joe snagged Kama first place, while Gavin just snatched victory for Manu despite a late push from Lauren.

Back at Kama the tribe continued their vacation courtesy of Joe with Julie really struggling to comprehend what it would mean to lose. She then praised him for being so damn amazing, though reiterated to us that she has zero interest in working with him and is just blowing smoke up his arse. Speaking of Joe, he was breaking down about Aubry being voted out, knowing that the returnees are public enemy number one and he feels super alone. Unlike at home, where fan favourite, game changer SDT is waiting for him. Joe caught up with Julia and pointed out that he isn’t the only threat and that all the strong people will need to band together if they want to have any hope of staying around. Particularly since their winning streak has no doubt pissed people off.

Speaking of which, Lesu were lamenting their loss and wishing that they could be Joe for just one minute. While David was keen to go try and kind food, Lauren and Wardog opted to sit around and complain about being starving and over their shitty camp. If only they could muster enough energy to help him get the massive clam that is on the shore! Instead of helping, Wardog pulled Kelley and David aside to talk about getting rid of Lauren, which made the returnees nervous given he just won’t pick a lane. The only glorious thing to come out of it, is the fact that Kelley and David are now aligned.

Back on the Edge of Extinction, Chris discovered a basket with five maps full of holes. Reem requested everyone stay calm which Keith agreed to however it is Keith, so who knows. After folding the maps, the tribes wandered up the hill before Rick figured out that the reward was back on the beach and that they’ve wasted their time. Despite his location was wrong, Reem discovered the reward in the beach … only for Keith to snatch it from under her, earning him the chance to penalising someone in the upcoming returnee challenge. Pray circle (jerk) for Chris. Particularly after he pointed out that Reem gave the reward away, setting her off on a tirade against him which may get physical. All I know is, I feel sorry for Rick, Chris and Aubry.

Probst returned for this week’s immunity challenge where the tribes would be required to climb a ladder, manoeuvre a bag through a frame, open said bag, release a ball and open a gate. Then solve a puzzle, obvi. Oh and only one tribe would secure immunity, and the other two forced to attend tribal together and get rid of a single player. I have Malcolm PTSD. No surprises Kama snatched an early lead however they all eventually caught up at the puzzle. Despite David thinking he was close to victory, Joe proved adept at puzzles too and solved it just in the knick of time, handing Kama immunity and sending the other tribe to tribal council.

Back at Manu Eric was feeling the loss hard, concerned about the potential for a tied vote and no doubt, concerned Wendy will flip back to her original tribe. Victoria rallied the troops and told them to stick together, while Wendy suggested they don’t target David since he doesn’t have any allies and as such, they should go for Lauren, Kelley or Wentworth. Eric then changed his no rock stance, and told everyone to stick together and threaten to go the rocks, since returnees aren’t likely to waste their shot. Eric and Gavin then went for a chat, reconfirming their relationship and locking in the rocks option. Sadly for them, Victoria is less inclined to go to rocks for these bozos as she is a Queen and wants to win. But thankfully for her, no one appears to have figured that out yet.

Meanwhile over at Lesu Kelley was confident that the other tribe would stick four strong and while targeting the big guys is the best idea, Victoria could be the safest move given they won’t expect it. Wardog had other ideas however, saying that they should vote Wendy because in the event of a time, the others will likely flip on her given they haven’t been together that long. While this is the only correct move for the tribe – outside of pulling Wendy over to their side – Kelley was annoyed that Wardog continues to ignore everyone else and push forward with his ideas. David suggested that he should tell Wendy to vote for someone and hope that it doesn’t go to rocks, while Lauren was confident that they will vote for her and as such she was worried. Even though being the person locked in the tie is literally best case for rocks, which the tribe were keen on.

Wardog went to relax by the beach and questioned going to rocks for Lauren, who is clearly breaking down and as such, went hunting for an idol. The other three figured it out and grew more frustrated with him, deciding they needed to find the idol first. Which Wentworth did, while right next to Wardog. Kelley ran back and filled in Lauren, while Wardog continued to climb trees desperate for the idol. Lauren too wanted to share some intel, sharing that she won’t go to rocks for Wardog and will flip if it comes to it.

The tribes arrived at tribal council and both admitted that they all planned to stick with their tribe, Wardog reiterated that he is ready to battle for his group while Eric admitted that neither knows the others dynamics and as such, it is going to be unpredictable. Kelley offered Manu loyalty were they to flip, which Gavin too offered. Wendy shared that she feels trapped in the middle, with David talking about his love for Wendy while Eric mentioned that Wendy told them otherwise. Kelley started whispering to Wardog while David reminded everyone that he has no qualms going to rocks, which Victoria thought was bullshit. Wendy whispered to David that if he flipped, he’ll be safe, Wardog whispered to David, Gavin whispered to Eric and David asked Wendy to go aside for a little chat. With that the tribes voted and despite all the whispers, the votes rolled in four a piece for Lauren and Wendy. With that the whispering started again, this time with Eric joining Lesu while Kelley and Lauren spoke to Victoria and Gavin to come up with a plan, while poor Wendy sat alone in the middle. Before being booted unanimously.

While she was upbeat upon discovering the Edge of Extinction sign and discovering that she would get a meal to accompany her boat ride, her mood soon deflated.

“This is delicious Ben, what are we eating?”

“Well Big Wendy, I wasn’t sure what to make you originally however I found three chickens wandering the island and was hit with a brain wave.”

You could pinpoint the exact moment her heart broke, and while I kind of feel bad that her rescue was only temporary, when it tastes as good as my Chickwendy Empanadiaz, she can’t really hold a grudge. Right?

 

 

In my defense, since Annelie got cage-fight induced amnesia, I have been unable to make another empanada, but when I stumbled upon this recipe, I knew I had to make some tweaks and move past my fears. And oh how glad I am that I did, smokey, sweet and packing a hell of a punch, they’re the kind of thing you can’t stop eating. Ever.

Enjoy!

 

 

Chickwendy Empanadiaz
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
olive oil
2 large onions, diced
3 garlic cloves, minced
1kg chicken thighs, diced
2 cups chicken stock
3 bay leaves
1 green capsicum, diced
1 red capsicum, diced
¼ cup tomato paste
1 tbsp sweet paprika
2 tsp smoked paprika
1 tbsp dried oregano
½ tsp cayenne pepper
salt and pepper, to taste
4 sheets puff pastry
1 egg, whisked

Method
Heat a good lug of olive oil in a large saucepan and sweat the onions for five minutes, or until translucent. Add the garlic and chicken, and cook for a further five minutes. Add the stock, bay leaves, capsicum, tomato pastes, paprikas, oregano and cayenne, with a good whack of salt and pepper, and bring to the boil. Reduce to a simmer and cook for half an hour, or until the sauce is thickened. Leave to cool.

Preheat oven to 160°C.

Cut each piece of pastry into 9 equal squares.  Place 1 tbsp of filling in each and scrunch the egse to form little half moon pockets. Place on a lined baking sheet, brush with the egg and place in the oven to bake for 20 minutes, or until golden, puffed and crisp.

Devour immediately, in honour of those poor, briefly freed chickens I cooked.

Don’t tell Sia.

 

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