Previously on Drag Race Down Under ten new dolls arrived in our baby Werk Room ready to gift the world further flavour from our neck of the woods. After putting the dolls through their paces in the traditional photoshoot – this time, with sausage – Ru tasked the girls with making outfits from natural or recycled materials. Faúx Fúr sang and generally added a cacophony of sounds while rocking black granny panties under a sheer skirt, while Spankie, potentially distracted, just forgot to work panties into her design at all. While Yuri’s look was a work of art, she couldn’t walk in it on the runway and as such, Molly, who also nailed the challenge, took out the first win of the season. Meanwhile Spankie and Faúx’s own version of the Erika Girardi pantygate landed them in the bottom with Spankie sending sweet Faúx home.
Backstage everything was feeling a little more real after seeing their first sister go home, with Spankie heartbroken to have been the one to have officially done the deed. While everyone, unsurprisingly, was just gagged by how quiet things were now that Faúx was gone. Minnie was proud of Spankie for turning the lip sync for the old girls – despite her being in her 30s – while Spankie was just focused on rising from the ashes and proving to everyone that she is not to be fucked with.
The next day Kween was also ready for a little bit of a comeback, while Yuri was just hoping to be able to walk in whatever look she pulls out this week. Aubrey meanwhile was happy to be safe for the challenge, before Minnie jumped in and apologised for the drama between them about their safe-ness last week. Before we could dwell on it further, Ru dropped by and promptly announced that since Molly won the first challenge, she would be able to rate her competition with the help of the zaddy Pit Crew. And well, were we paying attention to anything but the Bonds packages? Yuri Gaii was crowned Greatest Competition, not Good Cunt as Spankie thought. Daggiest Drag was given to Spankie, You Beauty was obviously Kween Kong as trade of the season while the final winner – Taking the Piss aka Next to Go – was Beverly Kills. Mainly because Aubrey looked stressed and Molly was way too scared to give it to Minnie.
For this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be starring in a Prisoner parody – Caged Queens – with those winning a title and wearing a sash forming Team #1 with Molly, while the rest would form Team #2. As soon as the sash dolls got together Molly admitted that she actually wanted to say Minnie was the next to go and while they started kiki-ing about it, Kween cut them off and told them to put some respect on Minnie’s name and well, I love Kween for standing up for the icon. Speaking of Minnie, she and Aubrey assured their team they will gladly put their former issues aside. Minnie opened up about being dyslexic and requested they run through the scene orally and ugh, I love her. We ventured back to Team Sash where Spankie was nailing rehearsal, while literally everyone else was bombing.
Team Sashless were first up to film with Michelle and Rhys where Aubrey looked like Baby Willam and appeared to be struggling. Pomara meanwhile was iconic in a Casey Donovan wig and well, it made me moist and I love her and her power hungry ways as a prison guard. Minnie and Molly were demented and so much fun as prison hooch producers. Spankie meanwhile knocked it out of the park for Team Sash while Yuri was apologetic to everyone for how bad she was doing. Rounding things out, Kween was ditsy, Molly was funny and Beverly was awks.
Elimination Day arrived with Kween showing off a nip, so yeah, I’m wet. Team Sashless were ready to take out victory, while Minnie wanted to publicly thank her team for being so understanding about her dyslexia which the other team hadn’t known. This led to Pomara trying to hide her laughter as she had heard it multiple times this episode, which obviously set off a new feud between Minnie and her. Once it was resolved that Pomara was laughing about it not being a secret, rather than Minnie having dyslexia, everyone split up to beat their mugs with Kween and Pomara feeling uncertain about how they went in the challenge but hopeful about improving on last week’s performance. Yuri opened up to Spankie about how her family offered to help fix her gayness and how they don’t support her drag, with Spankie going into mumma mode pulling her in for a hug and telling her that she is enough and is always welcome in her family. And ugh, I’ve had too long a week to process this emotion because that was beautiful.
Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined by the iconic Lucy Lawless as Molly slayed the Fly Girls runway as a neon green prey mantis. Kween Kong was perfection as a sexy black and white moth, Aubrey was gorgeous in Etcetera Etcetera’s entry-slash-promo look and Minnie was stunning as a 50s glam butterfly. Beverly was the sexiest latex mozzie, Pomara was stunning in an iridescent blue cicada gown, Spankie was a Cabaret style fly and looked a treat while Hannah was a glamorous ‘20s golden dame bug. And well, then Yuri Gaii was an acidic prey mantis and well, sorry Molly, Yuri did it better. Like the one you ordered, versus what you get.
When it came to Caged Queens, Hannah and Minnie were right in the pocket and gloriously, Home Alone-esque in their delivery. While Pomara and Aubrey were kinda-sorta just there. Spankie was delightfully demented, Yuri was sexy, Molly and Kween were fun and Beverly was a little awks. But given her character was being executed for writing all the RuPaul’s Drag Race acting challenges, so yeah, I appreciate a self-aware show.
Molly, Beverly and Pomara were deemed safe and sent to untuck before the judges praised Kween for looking stunning as all hell. Though read for kinda just being there in the challenge. She admitted that she hated the challenge and is embarrassed to have bombed in front of Lucy Lawless, before opening up about her depression and assured Ru that she will do better and ugh, I love her. Aubrey was read for being weak, though they praised her for fighting through the struggle of being first on set. Oh and while she looked good standing still, her gags on the runway all fell flat. Minnie received all around praise for everything she did in the challenge and on the runway. Yuri was declared the fashion queen of the season, though read for filth for her performance in the challenge. And then Spankie received wall to wall praise for being silly, leaning in to the joy and being fun. And then Hannah was praised for her Marlene Dietrich runway and for nailing the performance.
Backstage the safe girls were shocked that Kween and Aubrey were in the bottom, while Kween assured Yuri that she wants her baby sister to bring it in the lip sync. Minnie and Pomara then unleashed their issues, with Minnie offended about what happened this morning, while Pomara called her out for saying she didn’t deserve to be paid as a performer to other queens in Sydney. Oh and Minnie told her that she was entitled and difficult to mentor. But then they buried their issues and moved on, causing whiplash for everyone on the sidelines and watching along at home.
Ultimately Spankie took out her first win of the season while Hannah and Minnie were deemed a very deserving safe. As was Yuri, thanks to her perfect bloody outfit. As soon as The Divinyls’ I Touch Myself kicked off, Kween absolutely came alive and commanded all the attention, proving she is a damn star. She was cartwheeling and splitting and while Aubrey had a fire and gave camp comedy, Kween made sure she was not going home any time soon. Which meant poor Aubrey had to go, ironically – maybe, who knows thanks to Alanis – to a song featured in Austin Powers, which birthed her name.
Backstage Aubrey was understandably disappointed to be going home so soon, but thankfully was still proud of how skilled she is despite still being a baby-queen. Do I feel like a part of her started drag for the sole purpose of getting on the show and getting a recipe named after her? Sure. But can you really blame her? Thankfully like me, she is an icon and I pulled her in for a massive hug, congratulating her on being so damn talented, winning over hearts during her short stint and getting into a memorable fight. Which, in my eyes, makes her more than worthy of a piping hot Bluebrey Hainish.
Tart berries, sweet, velvety cream cheese and the glorious crunch of almonds work together to create a pastry so decadent and life affirming that all your troubles are solved. Kind of like Marge’s banana bread.
Enjoy!
Bluebrey Hainish Serves: 6-8.
Ingredients 2 sheets puff pastry 400g cream cheese, softened 2 tsp vanilla extract 1 tsp almond extract ¼ cup raw caster sugar 2 cups blueberries 1 egg, whisked icing sugar and flaked almonds, for dusting and sprinkling
Method Preheat the oven to 180C and cut each sheet of puff pastry into four squares. Divide the squares between two lined baking sheets.
Combine the cream cheese, caster sugar and extracts in a bowl and smear in the centre of each square of pastry, leaving a 2cm rim around the perimeter of each. Divide the blueberries between the squares and gently press into the cheese.
Brush the edges with a little bit of egg and transfer the baking sheets to the oven to cook for 20 minutes, or until golden and puffed.
Remove from the oven and transfer to a wire rack to cool for five minutes or so, before dusting with icing sugar and sprinkling over the flaked almonds. Then devour, lukewarm.
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Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls were paired up to put on some cheeky little lip syncs to RuPaul classics. While Vivian tried to be fair by pairing people up with people they vibed with, Fiercalicious obviously felt like she was being set up by being partnered with Bombae. Though maybe that was because she kinda got lost in the performance, landed in the bottom with Chelazon as Jada took out her first win of the season. Thankfully Fiercalicious found her fight in the lip sync that counted, leaving everything on the floor as she sent Chelazon home. Or out the door, if you want to rhyme.
Backstage Kaos was heartbroken to lose her fellow prairie sister, while everyone was grateful to get to know her and for all that she taught them in her time in the competition. Kaos opened up to her sisters about how much Chelazon meant to her, with Bombae loving how much intent she puts into everything. Fiercalicious tried to act all sad, which made Jada laugh about how silly and insincere she sounded. Everyone then toasted Jada on her first victory, though my favourite performance of hers is that she just can’t get Irma Gerd’s name right.
The next day everyone was upbeat and ready to fight, with Kaos feeling fired up while Vivian and Fiercalicious made up. Sadly though, Fiercalicious confronted Jada for not being friendly enough to her in the competition, giving they are close outside of the competition. And well, it is hilarious, given everyone just feels like she constantly has beef with people. While Giselle just rolled her eyes at the camera before Jada apologised so they could all move on.
Traci dropped by to put the girls through their paces giving oral … presentations, lecturing in quick drag. On a topic that they won’t learn until they take the stage. After barely beating their mugs in quick drag, Jada took the stage for her Tuck Talk about The Raw Truth: My Journey From Single to Soulmate. She was charming and confident, Bombae was silly, Boom Boom was chic, Kaos a literal confused, Giselle was adorbs as she giggled and offered gobbies, Fiercalicious was perfectly dumb and Vivian was just a star. While poor Irma and Kimmy were confused by the more absurd graphics that kept popping up. Despite Vivian slaying, it was Jada that took out yet another victory.
And as the victor, she was given the power to allocate everyone a box of design materials for this week’s Maxi Challenge. Kaos got spooky, Giselle got crusty, quirky went to Kimmy, Bombae was old fashioned, Irma was given sporty, crafty went to Boom Boom, she snatched fiery for herself, giving Flirty to Fiercalicious while Vivian got Basic. And well, they were some shady allocations for their runway looks. Sadly for Jada though, every box actually had the exact same contents and well, it was shady and fun of the producers. And you know Fiercalicious was pressed about it. But was she ever not going to be?
Everyone quickly split up to start working on their outfits with Vivian ready to slay a spider lady look, in all its 80s glory. Irma was going down the club kid route, while Fiercalicious approached Boom Boom to drag her through the challenge again. Giselle meanwhile was hoping to destroy the sewing challenge, given it is her passion. And well, her drawing looked amazing. Boom Boom meanwhile was feeling the pressure given she took out the first design challenge, while Kimmy was worried about being read for being basic.
Traci returned to kiki with the girls, with Jada sharing she would be very alien, galaxy, wait no, futuristic. And gurl, you’re in danger. Giselle was confident in her Valentino/Versace inspired look, ready to break through and stamp her place in the competition. Bombae was ready to tell the story of her journey and breaking out of her head while Boom Boom was getting more and more nervous about pulling it off. Fiercalicious was just hoping to avoid the bottom, while Kimmy wanted to make Mama Icesis proud. But yeah, maybe she won’t? Kaos was worried about being too crafty, Vivian was going busty 80s cowgirl and Irma was going balls to the wall. Well, head.
After Traci exited everyone started work glueing their outfits, while the other side were calmly sewing. And huffing the glue fumes wafting over. Bombae kikied with Vivian and Giselle, glad to have some serenity rather than hearing them complain about it. Fiercalicious and Jada meanwhile were kiki-ing about their futuristic looks and while Jada was ready to top, I just don’t see it.
Elimination Day arrived with Irma opening up about her journey to drag, slowly working her way up to be the biggest queen in the province. Kimmy spoke about starting drag because nobody could dance and while they didn’t want to book her as a woman, she pretended to be a man and started her career. Talk turned to the concept of gender and how the drag scene needs to be open to all genders and people need to wake up. Irma spoke about fighting with a fellow queen for drag being about mocking women – it is not – while Kimmy didn’t want to be expected to educate everyone all the damn time about being trans.
Brooke and Traci were joined by the iconic Jimbo and Sarain Fox on the judges panel, complete with Jimbo throwing bologna at Brooke. Bombae opened the Bitch Stole My Look runway in a striped silver and purple bodysuit looking like Storm. Vivian was glamorous and ready for the Oscars, Giselle was dripping glamour in a grecian goddess number, Kimmy slayed as a warrior princess, Fiercalicious was an architectural delight in silver while Irma Gerd gave the most glamorous clown known to man. Boom Boom was a frilly, layered delight while Jada was a slutty, silver English guard slash nutcracker before Kaos gave paper-spike Ru promo look realness.
Giselle, Irma, Kaos, Bombae, Kimmy and Jada were deemed the tops and bottoms of the week, with the rest of the queens heading backstage to untuck. Bombae was praised for giving a lovely final look, though everyone felt the reveal was pointless. Giselle received universal praise particularly for boning the corset herself backstage. Kimmy was praised for nailing the walk and looking like a warrior princess, despite giving a similar silhouette before. Irma too was beloved for giving all the fun on the runway, despite it being sloppy. Jaida meanwhile was read for absolute filth. Particularly for doing way too much. Kaos’ mug received praise, despite her look being kind of a staple of all design challenges. And not being able to walk in it.
Brooke then got shady and asked who should go home with Bombae suggesting Kaos is the weakest with her repetitive looks. Giselle identified Jada for her ugly look, as did Kimmy and Irma, which immediately made her cry. She then identified Kaos, while she returned the favour.
Backstage the dolls were feeling it as Irma broke down in tears over having to say who should go home. Kaos meanwhile was annoyed by Bombae saying she should go home, which obviously made Fiercalicious jump in and pile on Bombae for not telling her her outfit was ugly in the first week. Bombae cut off Kaos and told her she wouldn’t have given her a wig if she didn’t love her before reading Fiercalicious as difficult to be around and that is why she didn’t critique her. Jada felt like the judges felt she and Kaos were on the same level, which Giselle disagreed with given the judges straight up laughed at her. While Kaos and Fiercalicious were shocked Bombae was in the top. Jada then confronted Kimmy for calling her out on stage, with Kimmy reiterating she had the worst critiques.
Fiercalicious then asked Kimmy about her upsetting her way back in the second week, apologising for making her feel bad. And then continuing to fight. Thankfully though Boom Boom turned the attention on Jezabel, sorry Giselle, and her killer look.
Ultimately Bombae was deemed safe before Giselle took out her first win of the season, leaving Kimmy as safe. When it came to the bottoms – yes, yes, we’re all bottoms – Irma narrowly avoided the lip sync, as Kaos and Jada took their places in the bottom two. As soon as Stranger in my House kicked off, Jada got to work pulling off her outfit and lit a fire underneath herself as she slayed the performance and gave all the attitude. While Kaos channelled all the emotion, Jada was splitting and pounding her pussy into the stage and well, that is just something no one can compete with. As such, Jada once again saved herself as Kaos exited the competition.
As she made her way backstage, I pulled sweet Kaos aside and assured her that despite leaving early, her talent shone through and the world had fallen in love with her. Or at the very least, should have. Kaos is such a kind, gentle soul and I was heartbroken to see her go, but was glad to toast that success with a big tuft of Kafloss.
So, who knew you could make your own floss at home without a spinner? I mean, sure, it is well and truly an arm workout. But for eating a bowl full of sugar without having to eat a bowl full of sugar, it is well and truly worth it.
Enjoy!
Kafloss Serves: 2 dear friends.
Ingredients 1 ½ cups raw caster sugar 5 tbsp corn syrup 2 tsp water 3 drops food colouring, red or pink (or whatever you want)
Method Pop everything in a saucepan and stir together over medium heat until it hits 160°C. Remove from the heat.
Dip a whisk in the syrup and quickly wave it over some baking paper, back and forth, to mimic a fairy floss machine, until strings of sugar form. Repeat as necessary, heating again as needed, until all the syrup is gone and you’re left with a glorious mound of floss.
Then devour.
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Previously on All Winners the dolls were challenged with creating viral TikTok dances to sell their brand. Before that star-rich Trinity joked about wanting another star to poor single-starred Shea and Monet. While the last girl without being blocked Raja just desperately wanted to join the club. While everyone was strong in selling themselves and their brand, it was Jinkx with the least dance moves that stole the show as she hilariously made a sandwich. After following Ru’sMonet shone brightly, while Yvie gave moves that will totally be going viral. And obviously Raja was an icon. Because she is. Ultimately though it was Jinkx and Monet that landed in the top before they slayed the iconic spoken word lip sync from Designing Women. Monet’s usual schtick was enough to snatch the win over her sister before she gladly blocked an equally happy Raja.
Backstage the dolls were living their best lives, none more so than Monet who was just excited to finally have another star. And ever the competitive optimist, now she was looking to finish with the most. The Viv was proud of her sisters for serving spoken word, with Trinity more jealous that she couldn’t participate rather than not jagging a win. Talk turned to how Raja would take the fact there is no plunger secret, which obviously cued her entry. And damn was she hilarious as she entered pissed, frustrated and so cute as she called them all cunts. I feel like a broken record, but the moment was iconic. Trinity then pointed out that Jinkx and Jaida are now in front with three stars each before congratulating Jinkx on winning 4 mother tucking challenges. Shea and Monet meanwhile were talking about their uphill battle to make it to the end before Jinkx sweetly dropped by and told them that if anyone could win the last two challenges and make it, it is Shea.
And Monet, which obviously made Shea feel less special.
The next day Kennedy Davenport hijacked Rumail to announce that the Kennedy Davenport Center Honors nominees were about to be named. Which was all explained when Ru arrived, as for this week’s Maxi Challenge they were all tasked with roasting their fellow nominees – or sisters – in honour of the iconic Kennedy Davenport. In front of Ronan Farrow, no less. More importantly, the order would be decided by fate as the pit crew arrived for a little mini challenge where the queens would have to pop a balloon against one of the zaddies bums. With the colour of the confetti in their balloon deciding their position. In the challenge, obviously.
Jaida topped her way to 7th place, Trinity thrust into 5th, Jinkx struggled her way into 4th – insert they’re all bottoms joke here – Monet quickly fucked into 6th, Yvie jagged 2nd, Shea busted into 3rd, while Raja brought sexy back before dominating her man into first. Leaving The Viv to close the show without even needing to pop her cherry. Though bless, she was still allowed.
After everyone had a cigarette and calmed down, they split up to work on their sets with Jinkx confident to be playing within her wheelhouse. Though kindly asked her sisters if there was anything off limits she should avoid. Jinkx admitted she was struggling to write for The Viv, while The Viv was more concerned about her jokes getting lost in translation. Shea, Trinity, Yvie and Jaida caught up, with Shea scared about getting enough stars by the finale, while Jaida and Yvie were terrified about popping their roast cherries. Though Yvie was ready to do her best. Jinkx and Monet joined the fray, with the latter reminding everyone she won the All Stars roast. And that Trinity lost. Badly. She meanwhile was nervous about overcoming one of her weaknesses, with Jinkx offering to pay her back for her design challenge kindnesses and help her out in any way possible.
Shea was first to run through her set with Ross and Solomon Georgio and was so damn charming. While Jaida just tried to flatter her way through it all, Monet was in her element, Raja was cruel and totally silly and I love it. The Vivienne unwisely looked to be reading Ru, while Jinkx was having the time of her life. Trinity slowly started to get out of her head and power through the nerves, while Yvie was just being Yvie. In the highest of all compliments.
Performance Day arrived as everyone split up to beat their mugs, with Yvie ready to be read though unsure what people will be able to find to say about her. Monet meanwhile wanted everyone to go in on her, hard, while Shea was just terrified given if she doesn’t win this challenge, it is highly unlikely she has a path to get to the end. Monet and Trinity meanwhile pulled themselves aside to strategise who to block and while they thought they were being super subtle, everyone knew what was up. And well, Jinkx was thrilled to call them out about it. Again. Raja and Yvie meanwhile wanted to catch their way up, while Jinkx grew panicked about potentially being blocked tonight, given it could cost her making it to the end. And she really wants to beat her competition bestie Monet in the end.
Ru, Michelle and Ross were joined by Ronan Farrow on the judges panel as the dolls made their way to the stage to open the Kennedy Davenport Center Honors Hall of Shade. Where icon Peppermint’s daughter Wintergreen gave the introductory address, a monologue delivered by Kennedy herself during her runs on the show. Which was everything. Raja opened the show and as usual, she was absolutely delightful and living her best life, as she just straight up vibed. Yvie went low and was oh so good and Shea was stunning as she charmingly destroyed her sisters before Jinkx absolutely dominated from start to finish, weaving big dicks and incest into an epic set. I mean, that timing! Trinity meanwhile did a killer job with zinger after zinger before Monet read her for filth for it, and then eviscerated all of her sisters. And it was so damn good. Jaida was cute and charming, despite her nerves. Well, until she just started reading herself, then she was gold. Before The Viv closed the show in brutal fashion. And it was perfect.
On the All Glowed Up runway Raja was stunning as an iridescent butterfly, Yvie was perfection as an illuminated mushroom patch, Shea was a gorgeously shimmering sunflower and Jinkx was a gloriously burning witch and ugh, it was amazing. Trinity was a neon carnival delight, Monet served sexy solar system realness, Jaida was a beautiful mermaid, though after dark, before The Vivienne closed the show as a gorgeous rainbow angel.
Before critiquing the dolls, Ru announced that this week the rules would be changing and nobody would be getting blocked. Since they want everyone on a level playing field for the final challenge. More importantly, the judges lived for how mean Raja was in the roast and for looking architectural and stunning on the runway. Yvie received praise for sticking to her vibe and serving a gorgeous runway. Shea meanwhile received universal praise for her stunning runway and for bringing power to her roast. Jinkx was obviously universally beloved, even though the judges had epically high expectations for her. Oh and they lived for her concept on the runway. Trinity too was universally beloved, from the roast to the runway and well, this was redemption. The judges lived for everything Monet gave them in the roast and for serving something classy and creative on the runway. While Jaida was clearly nervous in the challenge, they lived for how she powered through but more importantly, they thought her runway was absolutely perfect. Oh and the obviously adored The Viv for being dominant in every facet of the week.
Backstage Trinity was thrilled to finally deliver in a roast on the show while Wintergreen straight up shot the show in drag. Until the girls convinced her to join them for a kiki, and encouraged her to take Wintergreen out on the road. Wintergreen in turn praised the girls for all that they do and how hard they work. Everyone donned their dressing gowns, grateful to be out of the runways given they were so uncomfortable. Yvie thanked everyone for being such killer artists and making them all better. Everyone praised Trinity for finally turning things around, while she pointed out that everyone is great. Particularly Shea, who didn’t even have notes. Shea in turn pointed out that while she is last place when it comes to stars, she has had such a fun journey with everyone that it doesn’t even matter to her.
Ronan Farrow then dropped by and well, I want his suit so badly. It was killer. As was Jinkx wanting to bone him. So badly.
Ultimately it was Jinkx and Trinity that landed in the top before battling it out to Ava Max’s Kings & Queens. And well, Jinkx was a camp and poppy delight and it was oh so unexpected, I lived for every damn minute out it. Trinity was obviously on point with the comedy and all the lyrics, but there was no taking your eyes off Jinkx. I mean, she even did a damn cartwheel. Almost. Which proved to be enough to give her the ultimate win and net her another $10K.
Given how well she did in the challenge, it was kind of awkward to pull The Vivienne aside for some commiserations. Given she did THAT. That being said, she was disappointed to not land in the top, though the sight of her favourite scouser – me – made her feel so much better. I reminded her that like Raja, Shea and Monet before her, the number of wins and stars really don’t matter, given she has been so damn strong all season. I mean, the level of talent has been insane and The Vivienne has been the one to shine brightest. Which gave me the perfect excuse to reward her fire with equally fiery The Vivikorean Fire Pockets.
Another Brendan Pang number from Masterchef, these barely tweaked delights are the ultimate snack. Earthy, sweet and oh-so-spicy, they are the perfect snack for a cold rainy day or with an ice cold beer in the sweltering heat. So, like, whenever, I guess?
Enjoy!
The Vivikorean Fire Pockets Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 cups plain flour, plus extra for dusting 1 cup water salt, to taste 500g chicken mince 4 shallots, finely chopped 2 garlic cloves, minced 2 tbsp gochujang 1 tbsp light soy sauce 1 tsp rice wine vinegar 1 tsp ground white pepper 1 tsp Korean chilli flakes ½ tbsp minced ginger ½ tsp raw caster sugar ½ tsp sesame oil 1 cup grated vintage cheddar vegetable oil, for fryin’
Method Combine the flour and water in a bowl with a good pinch of salt, mixing with a fork until it has all come together. Transfer to a lightly floured surface and knead until nice and elastic. Transfer to an oiled bowl, cover and leave to rest for about half an hour.
Pop the chicken, shallots, garlic, gochujang, soy, vinegar, pepper, chilli, ginger, sugar and sesame oil in a larger bowl and scrunch with your hand until well combined.
Divide the dough into 8 portions and working one at a time, roll them out into a 20cm round. Place a couple of tablespoons of filling into the centre and top with a tablespoon of cheese. Working with your index finger and thumb, fold the dough towards the centre on top to enclose, pleating as you go until sealed. Place on a lined plate or baking sheet and repeat the process until done.
When it comes time to cook, heat a couple of tablespoons of the vegetable oil in a large frying pan over medium heat. Once nice and hot, place half the pockets in, pleated side down, and cook for about five minutes, or until golden and crisp. Flip and repeat the process for another five minutes. Transfer to a lined plate and add a little extra cheese to gently melt over the pleats and repeat the process with the remaining pockets.
Then obviously, serve immediately with a drizzle of Korean chilli oil. Before devouring. Greedily.
Previously on Survivor the final five appeared to be neatly split into two pairs or Jonathan and Mike on one side and Lindsay and Maryanne on the other with Romeo left right out. Before heading to the immunity challenge, treemail arrived with a puzzle which they had to solve for a clue to an advantage in the challenge and while Lindsay jagged it, it didn’t help as Mike powered through the puzzle and snatched it out from under her. Back at camp Maryanne was confident Mike would play his idol for her despite the fact he literally promised everyone by Romeo the exact same thing. Ultimately though, his idol play for Maryanne – who sat on hers – didn’t matter, as she joined with the boys to take out the biggest threat left in the game, Lindsay.
The final four arrived at the final immunity challenge where they were all feeling exhausted and nervous about what lay ahead of them. Speaking of which, the challenge is the iconic simmotion one that famously cost Wentworth the game in Second Chances, and many other icons throughout the years. The tribe would each have to drop balls into a metal contraption, slowly adding more throughout the challenge with the last one still juggling balls taking out the win.
Everyone spoke about what was driving them to take out the challenge, though it was Maryanne who gave us all the heart, opening up to Probst that she is just grateful to be there in that moment, because she knows it means that everyone in her family will be watching along at home, cheering her on. And since there is a bit of a feud in her family, she is hoping the power of Survivor brings everyone back together, and that would mean more to her than a million dollars. And well, give her the money too please.
Almost as soon as the challenge got under way, Mike dropped his ball out of his hand in a lapse of concentration. Everyone else made it to their second ball before Maryanne tragically dropped hers. As she broke down in tears, Romeo and Jonathan continued to fight through as they added a third ball followed by a fourth, which was enough to end Jonathan’s game, handing Romeo – yes, ROMEO – individual immunity. Like a damn icon. He opened up about how his entire game has been completely exhausting, constantly on the bottom and everyone’s plan B, but not only is he now safe, he has made it to the final tribal council.
Back at camp Romeo was well and truly feeling his oats, ready for everyone to finally treat him with a bit of respect as they tried to make their way to the end. Mike pulled Romeo aside to assure him that he knows he will be making fire, but it is important that he makes the right decision of who exactly he needs to face, given Maryanne is more of a threat to win than Jonathan. Speaking of the duo, Maryanne was coaching Jonathan on how to make fire, given she would far prefer to sit next to him than Mike in the final three.
Mike and Romeo returned, with Mike taking Jonathan to the shore to convince him that it is critical that should Romeo offer to take him to the end, he takes it. Because he needs to take his place in the final however he can get it. Which Jonathan could tell was just him trying to get into his head before the unsafe trio split up to continue practice making fire.
The jury were shocked as Romeo arrived at tribal council wearing the immunity necklace before he spoke about finally having his star moment and how proud he is to take out immunity. Maryanne admitted that she is very much ready to vom, despite how confident she is in her firemaking skills. Jonathan too was busy hyping himself up while Mike admitted he knows he is making fire, though is worried about who his opponent may be. Romeo meanwhile spoke about second guessing himself and worrying about who to save, though that he ultimately is sticking with his gut, taking Maryanne along for the ride and leaving the boys to battle it out in fire.
With that, Mike and Jonathan took their place at the fire making stations and while Jonathan made fire with ease back at camp, he struggled to get a meaningful flame. Mike meanwhile quickly got his flame and started to build a stack, burning through all the husk as he built an epic teepee. Jonathan soon got a flame and quickly worked to close the gap as Mike’s flame started to lick at the ropes. While Jonathan was methodical as he built his fire, Mike literally threw everything on the table and despite the chaos, he managed to burn through the rope and secure his spot at final tribal council.
Jonathan was very zen about his exit, accepting that there is nothing he could do to change the outcome and he reiterated that loves everyone in the tribe very much. He held his head high as he became the final juror to enter Ponderosa for the season and I quickly pulled him in for a hug to congratulate him on making it so far despite his massive target. Which coincidentally is why I pulled him in for a massive hug, because I wanted to feel the warmth of all of that man mountain. And then smash a celebratory Cinnamon Bunathan Young Pie, shirtless in each other’s arms.
Like everything else that comes out of Milk Bar, this little number is near perfection. Kinda like Jonathan’s body? Delicate creamy filling, earthy browned butter and super spicy, it is the ultimate celebratory dessert. Which is good for all occasions.
Enjoy!
Cinnamon Bunathan Young Pie Serves: 8.
Ingredients ‘Mother Dough’ 3½ cups flour 1 tbsp kosher salt 1 ¼ tsp active dry yeast 1 ¾ cups water, at room temperature Liquid Cheesecake 250g cream cheese 150g raw caster sugar 1 tbsp cornstarch ½ tsp kosher salt 2 tbsp milk 1 egg Cinnamon Streusel ¼ cup flour ¼ cup rolled oats 1 tsp cinnamon ¼ tsp kosher salt 2 tbsp brown sugar 2 tbsp butter melted ¼ tsp vanilla extract Assembly ¼ cup brown butter ¼ cup brown sugar tightly packed ¼ tsp kosher salt 1 tsp cinnamon
Method To start, get to work on your mother dough by combining the flour, salt and yeast in the bowl of a stand mixer. Add the water and stir with the dough hook by hand until just combined before transferring it to the mixer and kneading on low for 10 minutes, or until a smooth, soft ball forms.
Transfer to a large oiled bowl, cover with plastic wrap and leave to prove for an hour or until doubled.
Preheat the oven to 160C.
Next, get to work on the liquid cheesecake – which you will learn about its sole majesty very soon, I promise – by popping the cream cheese in the bowl of a stand mixer and beating on medium for a couple of minutes. Add the sugar and beat for an additional couple of minutes and scrape down the sides. Combine the cornstarch, salt, milk and egg in a jug and whisk together until smooth, before adding to the mixer and beating for another 3 or 4 minutes, or until beautifully smooth. Pour into a lined square cake pan and bake for 15 minutes, or until the outside is just setting, but it is still jiggly in the middle. Remove from the oven to cool.
While that is chill and the dough is busy proving itself, turn your attention to the streusel by tossing the flour, oats, cinnamon, salt and brown sugar until combined. Fold through the melted butter and vanilla until clusters start to form.
Turn the oven up to 180C.
Punch down the dough, dust a surface with some extra flour and roll it out to form a 25cm disc that is about 1.5cm thick. Press into a large pie pan and place said pie pan on a lined baking sheet. Brush half the brown butter over the dough before pouring half the liquid cheesecake over the top in an even layer, followed by the remaining brown butter and the brown sugar, gently pressing into place. Sprinkle with the salt and cinnamon, followed by the remaining cheesecake and finally, the streusel.
Transfer the pie to the oven to bake for 40 minutes, or until the centre is slightly jiggly while the edges have set. Transfer to a wire rack to cool for fifteen minutes or so before serving. And devouring, thrilled to be back in the land of 6000 calories a day.
Previously on Survivor Jeffrey gagged the castaways with the fact that they would be split up into two groups ahead of the next tribal council. With both groups having someone win immunity and both groups voting someone out. After Jonathan won his group – with Maryanne, Tori, Lindsay and Drea – reward and the chance to be the second tribal council of the evening, the all male group headed off to scramble on a second beach. And while Rocksroy thought it was an easy Romeo vote ahead for them, Omar and Hai flipped things and blindsided Rocksroy from the game and straight over to the jury bench.
Travelling back in time a wee bit, the victorious group returned to camp, quickly frying up their kebabs and devouring their feast. Lindsay meanwhile shared how thrilled she was to be grouped with Jonathan and Maryanne, meaning the former Taku’s would be able to control the upcoming vote. And given Drea has an idol, Tori is clearly the easy vote. Jonathan meanwhile was desperate to blindside Drea with the idol in her pocket, with Maryanne thrilled to be a part of the plan, given she has been on the outs since the merge. Sadly for him however, Maryanne didn’t appreciate the way he spoke to her though was willing to suck it up if she gets further. But best believe she ran straight to Tori with the Drea plan, despite him forbidding her.
Meanwhile Jonathan caught up with Drea, telling her the fake plan to take out Maryanne to flush her idol. Which would be fine, except for the fact she also has an idol and that is something that would clearly come back to bite her. Jonathan then caught up with Lindsay, with her quickly point out that the plan to put a vote on Maryanne is stupid, given if Drea plays the idol, they are screwed. As such, she tried to convince him they need to loop in Tori so she and Drea put their votes on each other instead, so that if an idol is played, they have nothing to worry about. Though Jonathan just would not listen. At all.
At their tribal council, everyone was shocked to see Rocksroy was the one voted out by the first group. Drea wasn’t sure what exactly it meant, while Lindsay admitted that seeing him on the jury has made her question whether their current plan is the right one. Drea then pointed out that seeing two African American people voted out back-to-back made her nervous, while Tori was thrilled to be able to play in a little group as it gave them an opportunity to play with different people and try different things. Maryanne and Drea spoke about the previous tribal council playing on their minds, with Drea admitted that unconscious bias is likely leading to the African American contestants going out back-to-back-to-back and as such, she was playing her idol tonight.
This made Jonathan nervous and ask what her plan would be, with Drea throwing Tori’s name out there. While everyone got on board, Maryanne started whispering to Tori that she literally can’t vote out Drea and continue the cycle. And when the whispering was clearly heard by all, she gave an impassioned speech to the group about taking a stand for who she is outside the game. Jonathan then got defensive and said that he is not racist and then called Drea agressive and well, that is unconscious bias, but as a white heterosexual male, he struggled to see that. Both Drea and Maryanne spoke passionately about how they are not calling people racist, but are shining a light on the fact that they do have a harder path forward, particularly since they always have to be ‘on’ and have a lot of pressures that other people in the game do not.
The pressure of being a representative for their community got to Maryanne who admitted that she too would be playing her idol, not because she thinks she will receive votes but because she knows some idiot on the internet will say she only survived the episode because of race. Which is very true and so damn sad. Lindsay stepped in and praised the duo for being so brave, assuring Drea that she was not being aggressive and that she appreciates they have a harder experience that they don’t understand. Maryanne then summed things up by giving an impassioned, well-argued speech about how every minority has to play the game differently and ugh, I love her so much.
Given the raw emotion, the group opted not to officially vote and as such voted in the open. After Drea and Maryanne played their idols, Tori quickly deduced she would be the one going home and after getting them to give her a reason, she went to play her Shot in the Dark, which did not give her safety, sending her home while a teary Lindsay lived to see another day.
While Tori was overwhelmed by all the emotions of tribal council, she was happy with the fact there was little she could do to avoid being the boot given it came to only her and Lindsay in danger. And as such, she quickly moved on and was back to laughing it up and regaling me with tales to avoid giving me free therapy. When it became clear I wasn’t getting any freebies, I quickly plated up some Torikish Meelight and toasted a game well played.
The turkish delight chocolate bar may be the reviled snack-size left in the bag, but genuine turkish delight is straight up delightful. Floral and fruity, super sweet and melt in your mouth, it is the perfect way to turn around a day.
Enjoy!
Torikish Meelight Serves: 8-12.
Ingredients 4 ½ cups caster sugar ¼ cup powdered gelatine 1 cup hot water 1 cup cornflour ¼ tsp red food colouring 1 tbsp rosewater 1 cup icing sugar
Method Oil a lamington or slice pan and line with baking paper, pressing it into the edges and leaving a couple of centimteres overhang.
Once that is prepped, pop the caster sugar in a large saucepan with 1 cup of room temp water and stir to combine over low heat. Cook, stirring infrequently, for about 20 minutes or until the sugar has disolved.
Grab a candy thermometer and pop it in the pan. Increase heat to medium and bring to the boil without stirring, simmering for about 20 minutes or until it reaches 116C or the ‘soft ball’ phase. Reduce heat back to low and continue to simmer for five minutes, maintaining the heat at 116. Remove from the heat.
Meanwhile whisk the gelatine in a jug with the hot water. Pop the cornflour in a bowl and whisk the gelatine mixture in to combine, avoiding any lumps forming before whisking in the red food colouring to give a pale pink colour.
Slowly whisk the cornfloured gelatine into the hot syrup until smooth. Return to the heat and simmer for an additional five minutes or so, or until it is translucent. Strain into a heatproof bowl, removing any foam or scum in the bowl before whisking in the rosewater. Pour into the prepared pan and leave overnight at room temperature to set.
Once set, lightly dust a chopping board with icing sugar and turn out the turkish delight. Using an oiled knife, cut into large cubes, dust with icing sugar to coat and then devour. Greedily.
Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race the dolls bombed Snatch Game, putting on the most awkward version the show had ever seen. While I would argue Angie’s version of Tammie Brown was delightful and Camden’s smutty Skakespeare had its positives, DeJa was the only queen that truly managed to shine. As such, everyone but DeJa had to lip sync for their lives in a lip sync lalaparuza smackdown. One by one, Daya Betty, Willow and Jorgeous managed to save themselves before Camden defeated Bosco and Angeria bested Jasmine. In the final round it came down to Bosco and Jasmine with Bosco getting a song that played into her strengths, slaying the performance and saving herself as one of the lip-sync assassins, Jasmine, was finally felled.
The next day the dolls were thrilled to still have a place in the competition but were emotionally exhausted after everything they went through after disappointing Ru and Detective Visage. And Bosco more specifically was exhausted after having to rub off Jasmine’s extensive mirror message, which is very on brand for the chatty queen, TBH. While Daya was still enraged by Jasmine. This time because she was rooting for her friends, which did not include Daya. Surprisingly, since she is a delight and was always kind to her sister with such lines as, I want to hit her head on the sidewalk.
Before Daya could have a full meltdown, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge they’d be starring in the romantic musical Moulin Ru! Which obviously had Camden excited, given that is 100% what she does. The dolls would star as Saltine the fading showgirl, Mama Z the bearded queen owner of the club, the Green Fairy aka Kylie Minogue as an absinthe trip and the four Moulin Ru girls, Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent. Oh and they’d once again have to fight for their parts amongst themselves, rather than anyone assigning roles.
After Ru departed, Bosco was confident in her abilities, before Daya snatched Uniqueness without any battles. DeJa took the role of Nerve, Willow went for the Green Fairy while Angeria and Jorgeous fought over Talent with Angie backing down and taking Charisma instead. Saltine then came down to a battle between Bosco and Lady Camden, with them both digging their heels in until Bosco started reminding Camden that she has the skills to pull off Mama Z as well, while she does not. After DeJa suggested they were just wasting everyone’s time, Camden suggested flipping a coin before Bosco suggested the queens vote which they ultimately went with leading to Bosco getting the part. After a torn Willow was forced to break the tie.
Leading to Camden threatening Bosco that she has to turn it out, otherwise she will be pissed. And damn, both of the girls are fired up!
Things were very tense after the battle, with Jorgeous telling everyone that they need to get rid of the bad feelings because taking that energy into the rehearsal will ruin things for all of them. Bosco and Camden each went into their corners to sulk, with Bosco getting eaten up by guilt before Angeria joined Camden and encouraged her that she also didn’t get a part she wanted. Which did nothing more than fire Camden all the way up to slay Mama Z, as she realised that she really could turn any damn role.
The dolls headed to the mainstage where they learnt Leslie Jordan was their extra special director and argh, he is so cute and I love him! After regaling them with tales of her time as drag queen Baby Wipes in a time before even Ru had started drag, Bosco stayed on stage where she nailed rehearsal as Camden looked on angrily while also trying to stifle a smile. Angeria meanwhile was on struggle street but got there in the end. Willow was starting to regret her choice when she realised how quick her moves were going to become while Jorgeous and Leslie compared height before she slayed the moves. While Daya, obviously, questioned Joregous’ skills. At dancing. Because she hasn’t proven to be one of the best all season.
Oh and then Camden slayed from start to finish.
Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to beat their mugs while Angeria assured us that she had well and truly rehearsed and was ready to slay. Camden meanwhile was opening up to DeJa about how embarrassed she is over how tense she let things get the day before, though given she was feeling her new role pretty hard, that is a very easy feeling to have. Daya opened up about being a theatre queen, while Jorgeous read her (and musicals in general) for filth for being boring, OTT and too happy rather than ratchet like she likes. Angeria asked Bosco if she is nervous, with her opening up about learning to dance through her grandma who is a former (almost) rockette. Jorgeous admitted that she learnt how to dance from watching Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, which Daya had never heard about. While DeJa admitted she also had never taken a dance lesson in her life, with Jorgeous joking that it showed.
Ru, Michelle and Ross were joined on the panel by the iconic, Academy Award nominated musician-actress Andra Day for the premiere of Moulin Ru! Angeria, Daya, DeJa and Jorgeous started the show strong, though I was honestly more focused on the sexy dancers in corsets with exposed nips. Camden then joined them and bought all the fire; she was camp, giving perfect lines and was a little demented. On the flipside, while Bosco started super strong, Leslie Jordan arrived to play the Duke and well, then my eyes were pulled in only his direction. Oh and Willow stole the show as the green fairy.
On the Mirror Mirror runway Camden was a perfect star nymph, Bosco was an intergalactic, spiky sex-pot tin wo-man. Willow was a ‘70s rock goddess, Angeria was a stunning, shimmering blue mosaic, Daya looked like Lady Kiss – in a good way – while DeJa was a nude-illusion, shimmering, caged Queen as Jorgeous was a shimmering ribcage and looked a dream.
Camden received universal praise for elevating the MC role and totally stealing the show, while her outfit was great, Ross didn’t love the bottom. Bosco meanwhile was read for not taking the roll as far as it needed to go while Michelle just wanted Bosco to show diversity on the runway, despite looking perfect. Willow received universal praise for everything she served this week while Angie was beloved for doing a lot with a small part. Oh and she looked perfect on the runway. Daya was praised for combining performance and energy, and for slaying the runway while the judges felt DeJa started slow, she came to life in the rap. And well her look didn’t meet the criteria. Jorgeous meanwhile was read for losing energy throughout the performance though they loved her runway.
Ru then got shady and asked everyone who should go home this week with Camden casting her vote for Bosco for being the weakest in the rusical, while Bosco suggested Jorgeous should go home for her track record. Before everyone else voted for Bosco to go home. Particularly because she fought so hard for the role and didn’t deliver. Oh and Jorgeous then doubled down and reminded Ru that Bosco was in the bottom three times in a single episode, so maybe they should take that into account too.
Backstage Bosco opened up about being shocked to be in the bottom, though didn’t have any issue with her sisters saying she should have gone home. Before she ran off to prep the lip sync, Angeria and Daya just told her they only said her because of the critiques, while Joregous reiterated she voted for her for how she treated Camden to get the role. She then pointed out that her runway was actually on task, which is what Jorgeous identified as the reason that she too would be lip syncing. Though DeJa felt she could also be there.
Angeria meanwhile worried she would somehow land in the bottom – um, no – while the dolls congratulated Camden on a job, very well done! Though Angeria felt Daya could snatch victory for making the most out of such a small role. While Willow was thrilled to once again be in the top, but knew she wouldn’t be taking out the win. Camden then opened up about the fight with only Daya telling her she was a little bratty, which, lol girl. She was interrupted by a video from her mother who was equal parts creative and sweet, which gave Camden that much needed boost for the rest of the season.
The nervous girls split up to get prepped for the lip sync, leaving the tops to kiki. With Camden wanting them to come up with a strategy for not making things awkward again when assigning roles. Jorgeous asked everyone who they felt was their biggest competition, with DeJa scared of Angeria, Jorgeous and Angeria were nervous about competing against Willow, while Camden was threatened by Bosco – which was reciprocated – though Camden was also nervous about Jorgeous. Distracting from the potential rage from Daya for not being viewed as a threat, Andra Day dropped by to chat with the girls and ugh, she is just so damn cool.
Ultimately Daya and Willow were sent to safety before Camden was handed her second win of the season. Much to her absolute delight. Angeria too was deemed safe before DeJa’s performance saved her from the bottom, leaving Bosco and Jorgeous to battle it out. To my dear Whitney Houston’s Heartbreak Hotel, no less! While Bosco had all of the fire and turned it out, Jorgeous knew she was fighting an uphill battle and well, she scaled said hill and back. Gagging her sisters as she eliminated Bosco from the competition. Well, until she unwrapped her chocolate bar and we finally, FINALLY, struck gold as everyone celebrated her second chance. While she broke down with joy.
Backstage Bosco was thrilled to have been saved by a candybar, particularly since she truly believes she deserves to be here. While she was thrilled, DeJa was annoyed that none of them have a shot at immunity while Jorgeous was just annoyed that there are still so many girls to send home. Bosco assured everyone that she holds no ill will against them for suggesting she should go home, before apologising to Lady Camden for the drama between them. With Camden thankfully copping to her part too and once again, all was harmonious.
The next day Daya continued to be horned up while Angeria praised Jorgeous as the lip sync assassin of the season which for some reason, enraged DeJa, who felt she was the one true assassin. But before we could get answers to who would truly be the best, Ru arrived with Norvina from Anastasia Beverly Hills for a mini-challenge where they would each paint Ru’s face. On a brick wall. Not her mug. Oh and Dolly’s, with DeJa, Gorgeous and Angeria together painting Ru, while Willow, Daya, Camden and Bosco would paint Dolly. And well, they benefited from having an extra person because theirs was drastically better. While Ru was gagged by how busted the girls made her look.
Before departing, Ru announced that for this week’s maxi challenge, the dolls would be roasting the one and only Bossy Rossy. And for winning the mini-challenge, Bosco, Willow, Daya and Camden would decide the order. Which did nothing to ease Jorgeous’ nerves. Trying to make up for last week, Bosco asked the losers where they would like to perform, wanting everyone to do their best. After taking their requests, the victors pulled themselves aside to decide the order with Bosco offering to go first, letting Joergeous have second like she wants with Willow taking third, knowing she would look better after Jorgeous. They then put Angeria in fourth, Daya fifth before Camden debated about risking it and going last. Particularly since DeJa didn’t want that place. Ultimately, she decided to risk it for said biscuit, which made everyone very happy. While Bosco was just glad no one could complain.
The dolls split up to work on their roasts with everyone feeling particularly terrified except for Bosco, who was quietly righting away. Willow threw out some hilariously bad jokes, Daya was charming – gay gasp – as she wrote nothing while DeJa reminded them all to go in hard, then wrote terrible jokes while cracking herself up.
Bosco was first up to rehearse with Dulce Sloan and Michelle with her struggling through with both of them reminding her to go hard and come out guns blazing. Though I hope it is all a massive fake-out and she slays. Willow was too rambling for their liking while Angeria was charming as hell despite the girls not loving all of her jokes. Daya’s fears were allayed as the judges chuckled at the few jokes she had written while DeJa’s jokes were not landing with anyone but herself. Oh and then Camden proved it was the right choice to take a risk as she was hilarious before Jorgeous tried to win them over with compliments rather than telling any jokes. But she was living her best life over her own jokes, despite pretty much just being ready to lip sync.
Backstage Jorgeous opened up and explained she was well and truly over things, and while her sisters tried to remind her she is talented and just needs to get out of her head. She truly just felt defeated and it was hard to watch.
Elimination Day arrived with Camden feeling her oats, focused on trying to keep her confidence and deliver a good set. Bosco meanwhile opened up about feeling good about opening the show while Daya was hoping her second half would be as successful as the half she rehearsed while Jorgeous was only getting further in her head. Bosco tried to remind her that she has proven herself to be a star and as such, she needs to take that energy into the challenge. While DeJa was confident that her track record would continue to improve. Oh and Bosco borrowed one of Daya’s sponges which straight up looked like a chopped off testicle.
Ru, Michelle and Ross were joined by Dulce Sloan on the judges panel for the Ross Matthews Roast, with Bosco slaying from start to finish, reading anything and everything in sight. Jorgeous was iconically bad from the very first moment. It was incoherent and bizarre and I LIVED for every second. Willow was hilarious, smart and such a star, Angeria was solid and super charming, Daya took so long to get anywhere it was an absolute mess before DeJa said hold my beer and was even worse. Which only made Camden funnier than she already was, slaying from start to finish.
On the Tu-tu Much runway Bosco was a star as a bladesaw ballerina covered in blood. Jorgeous was a mess as a biker ballerina, Willow was a camp, judgemental old queen and OH SO PERFECT. Angeria was rocking a beautiful gown made of tutus while Daya looked stunning as a rose gold stilted ballerina – though only because she is so damn tall – while DeJa looked like an extra from the Season 8 promo before Camden was perfection as a classic ballerina.
The judges lived for everything Bosco served up this week, from slaying the jokes and giving such a bold runway. Jorgeous received praise for her runway though was read for struggling in the roast, despite giving a good energy. Willow’s look was beloved and while they loved her roast, they felt she could have gone even further. Angeria was praised for having fun on the roast despite not being the best. Though they lived for her runway. Daya’s look received universal praise though she was read for being bad in the roast. DeJa meanwhile was read for everything she did this week and then when she tried to explain her at-home schtick she was even worse. Thankfully Camden received praise for everything she did. Except for the echo arsehole joke.
Backstage DeJa was ok with the fact she would clearly be lip syncing, though felt bad for putting in jokes that Michelle and Dulce told her were shit. She broke down over messing up so badly and for not delivering what the judges see in her, though more so she was heartbroken to clearly be lip syncing against Jorgeous. Despite the fact that Daya is right there and bombed just as badly. Jorgeous reminded everyone how hard the challenge is though was feeling good given it is over. Angeria meanwhile was worried that Jorgeous was losing her confidence and starting to fade away.
As DeJa continued to sob, Camden tried to remind her how good she is and how she has appreciated how hopeful she has been throughout the season. This snapped DeJa out of it, thanking her sisters for being so kind and grateful to have gotten to know each and every one of them.
The dolls congratulated Camden on clearly making it to the end while looking like such a star on the runway. Angeria meanwhile felt it was awkward to not really know how you were going on stage while Jorgeous just hated every moment of it. Willow was thrilled to have performed ok and for looking amazing on the runway, despite the fact she could barely speak due to her lip prosthetics. She then received a video message from home and ugh, her family are so damn cute and charming, praising Willow for being a star and just making them all so happy and proud. While she laughed and cried, she couldn’t move her face at all because of her lips and it was great.
Dulce dropped backstage to talk to the dolls, congratulating them on performing so well and reminding them that they are lucky to be here. And to just celebrate making it. She then immediately bounced as Willow kissed everyone with her massive lips.
Ultimately Camden was sent to safety before Bosco took out her third win of the season before Willow and Angeria were sent to safety. Ru then gagged Daya, Jorgeous and DeJa with the news that they would all be lip syncing for their lives and not just that, only one of them would be surviving the lip sync. Despite looking terrified, as soon as Olivia Rodrigo’s good 4 u started Daya was ready to save herself. She sold all the emotion, had the lyrics down and made sense with the song. Jorgeous meanwhile gave her usual performance though the style didn’t seem to work with the song while DeJa was just kind there. Despite reminding us she was the only one Ru called a lip sync assassin. As such Daya was deemed safe, leaving both Jorgeous and DeJa to sashay away.
Things started a wee bit more awkward than usual, as DeJa questioned how the lip sync assassin and her apprentice – Jorgeous is nobody’s apprentice – were felled by Daya. And while yeah, we all hated Daya until this very episode, the judging was fairly on point this week. Which is obviously not what I told her, as I cried about them being robbed of their place in the rumix and begging them to come back and slay on All Stars (which both DeJa and Jorgeous could easily win). After perking her back up, I distracted her with a delicious Dejate Skye Loaf and all was right in the world.
I once started a cafe at home in the middle of the suburbs when I was five after whipping up a packet mix version of date loaf. While I literally fled the business before seeing whether it was a success, date loaf won my heart and as such, I dedicated my life to perfecting a recipe. And well, this is it! Sweet, moist and oh so moreish, there is nothing better!
Enjoy!
Dejate Skye Loaf Serves: 6-8.
Ingredients 250g pitted dates, roughly chopped 1 cup boiling water ⅓ cup butter, melted ¾ cup raw caster sugar 2 tsp vanilla extract 1 egg 1 ½ cup flour 2 tbsp baking powder 1 tsp bicarb soda 1 tsp mixed spice 1 pinch kosher salt
Method Preheat the oven to 160°C and line a loaf pan.
Pop the dates in a large bowl and pour over the boiling water, leaving to rest for 5 minutes or until nice and plumped. Stir in the butter, sugar and vanilla before quickly beating in the egg.
In a second bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, bicarb, mixed spice and salt. Fold into the wet ingredients until well combined and pour into the lined loaf tin. Tranfer the cake to the oven and bake for 30-40 minutes, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean. Remove from the oven and leave to cool for five minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool complete.
Or, serve a little bit warm with a thick smear of butter.
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Previously on Australian Survivor 22 people were forced to trek their way into the Australian bush with a loved one, ready to battle in the adventure of a lifetime. Upon meeting Jonathan by a watering hole, a chopper emerged and deposited the undisputed queen of Survivor, Sandra Diaz-Twine and her daughter to join the frey. One by one, they were voted out starting with Andy, Brianna and Kate. The tribes then swapped to stop the decimation of Queenslanders, before Alex and his sister’s now-ex Jay followed back-to-back.
There was then a genuine swap which tragically culminated in my least-favourite Survivor curse having its three-peat, as Sandra was voted out on Day 16. She was then followed out the door by Sophie and Amy, before tragedy struck as Princess Nina injured her leg in a challenge and was pulled from the game. After another cheeky swap, Croc and Ben were then felled before the tribes were no more and the Lava tribe – vom – was formed.
Tragically the merge cost us Khanh, though he then became the King of the Jury, which is super important, if you ask me. He was followed by Mel, Jesse – after Sam stole his idol – Michelle and Jordan before Sam, again tragically, was blindsided from the game. With that, Dave was felled, followed by Jordie, KJ and Josh, leaving Shay, Chrissy and Mark to battle it out at tribal council.
While I wish the jury were more receptive of the game the girls played, there is no denying that Mark and Sam dominated the season from start to finish. More importantly, they came into it with a very clear plan on how to play as a duo. While I would have found Sam to be a far more exciting winner, it was clear she would have had a harder time making it to the end and winning over the male-dominated jury. As such, they cut her at the right time, reducing Mark’s threat level at a key moment to help propel him into the end game.
By the time it came to perfectly articulating his game and winning over the jury with the right mix of praise, self-awareness and confidence, there was no denying he was more than worthy of the title of Sole Survivor. And the freshly made Markscapone Wales that goes along with it.
There is nothing better than cheese. I mean, I am fairly certain I am lactose intolerant, but I will live my life in gastrointestinal distress for any and all cheese. And given how easy and tasty fresh mascarpone is, that distress will likely become my standard state. Smooth and creamy, it is, like Mark, an absolute winner.
Enjoy!
Markscapone Wales Makes: 1.
Ingredients 450ml cream 2 tsp lemon juice
Method Stir the cream in a large-ish saucepan over medium heat with a wooden spoon until it reaches 85C on a candy thermometer. Remove from the heat and continue stirring until it drops to 60C. Return to the heat and bring it back up to 85C before stirring through the lemon juice, maintaining the temp for a few minutes. Continuing to stir, remove from the heat and bring the temperature down to 60C.
Pour the mixture into a glass bowl, cover with cling or a tightly fitted lid and insulate with a tea towel. Sit at room temp for a few hours.
Once chill, pop a sieve over a clean bowl and line with 4 layers of cheesecloth. Pour the cooled cream through the cloth and cover with plastic and a clean tea towel. Transfer to the fridge to set for at least 24 hours. Before devouring, victoriously!
Previously on Australian Survivor 24 people were dumped in the middle of the Australian bush, with a single loved one. Who they were immediately separated from and forced to compete against for 47 days. After battling it out on the edge of a cliff for final immunity, Shay took out the challenge leading to Josh’s demise before Chrissy, Shay and Mark argued their case in front of the jury. Despite all playing markedly different, deserving games, the jury weren’t a massive fan of Shay’s challenge beasting her way out of the bottom and she was left without receiving a single vote and finishing as the co-runner-up of the season.
Alongside queen, icon, legend Chrissy Zaremba.
Despite not knowing anything of the game before landing in the bush, Chrissy’s personality overcame every obstacle, winning hearts until she found her feet and became an absolute power player.
While I would have loved her to flip on alliances sooner, that only would have made for exciting TV, rather than really serving her game and as such, I was shocked to see her miss out on picking up any votes at tribal council. I mean, she routinely was making decisions on who to vote out, set herself up well with everyone and eliminated people that were threats to her game.
And more importantly, she articulated it perfectly at final tribal council. As such, I pulled her in for a massive hug, apologised she didn’t get the respect put on her name that she deserves and toasted her success with a piping hot Chipsy Zarembutty.
There is nothing I love more than a hot-chip sandwich. I mean, fresh soft bread, butter dripping down your fingers and gorgeously seasoned chips are the ultimate combination. Add in a little smokiness – thanks, Masterchef! – and you’re in heaven.
Enjoy!
Chipsy Zarembutty Serves: 2.
Ingredients 4 slices bread 200g butter, softened 50ml buttermilk smoking gun and smoking chips, to taste 2 cups thick-cut Jud Beerza Battered Fries, still nice and warm and heavily salted
Method Preheat the oven to 60C.
Combine the butter and buttermilk in the bowl of a stand mixer and beat until soft and fluffy. Cover with cling and fill the bowl with smoke from the smoking gun. Set aside for five minutes to infuse before repeating the process again, twice if required, depending on desired taste.
Cook the chips as per Jud’s recipe, though thicker.
To serve, smear the bread with the smokey butter and generously heap the chips on the bottoms. Close the sandwiches with the remaining, thickly butter bread, and devour. Like a queen.
Previously on Australian Survivor the final four met Jonathan on a cliff over a watering hole in the middle of the outback, ready to hang over the edge for their final immunity challenge of the season. Because surprise, as we’ve expected, there was going to be a final three this year! As everyone has speculated throughout the season, Shay took out the final endurance challenge of the season, leaving the boys and Chrissy at risk. Despite assuring Chrissy that she had her back, the boys tried to run interference and confusion. Or at least Josh did, as Mark quietly joined the girls to eliminate Josh as the final juror AND Fourth Place Robbed Goddess of the season.
The next day Chrissy was heartbroken to discover that she had burnt her socks while trying to dry them on the fire before Shay interrupted her bickering with Mark to pull them aside for a walk. Mark admitted that he is proud to have made it to the end though is super grateful to Sam, given she played a massive part in him making it all the way. And PREACH, because she was an absolute powerhouse this season. Mark then opened up about his time in the military and how tough it was and that living in the bush had reminded him of some of the situations he had encountered, leading to him breaking down.
And again, congratulations Mark. But damn, Chrissy was so sweet as she told him that he will now have memories of his time on Survivor when he sees a creek, rather than the trauma of war, and helped him process his emotions. So he can win the competition and Chrissy just gets our hearts, I guess?
The trio headed back to camp where they discovered a huge basket of food for the traditional final three feast as we heard from Shay, who was proud to show that women can be strong icons and ugh, I love her. While Chrissy was just completely shocked to have made it to the end, she reminded us that her name has never come up and that proves that she has played a strong game, though the fear is that a jury may not value it enough to reward her with a vote. Though trust and believe she was ready to tell Khanh how bloody good he has looked, rocking his fashions on the jury.
The final three arrived at tribal council where Jonathan introduced the jury and ran through how this evening’s proceedings would go. Each member of the final three would get to make their pitch, followed by the jury asking questions followed by an open forum. Oh and then they will vote for a winner.
Mark kicked things off talking about how stepping out into Samoa changed his life, though lost the game of Survivor, making him and Sam enter this game with a steely focus. He highlighted that he has been playing a strong strategic game from the very first tribal council by taking out Andy as a threat. He then chose to stay away from Sam at the swap before ruining the season for me by taking out Sandra. He then praised Khanh for playing such a strong game which is why he blindsided him at the merge before praising Jesse as one of the biggest threats, which is why he had to go. He then continued the praise game, explaining he has been pumping Josh up all season to have a meat shield at the end of the game and as such, his departure is why he is sitting there.
Shay meanwhile spoke about how she has fought hard throughout the entire season, losing her allies before merge came and at her lowest after being sent to Purgatory. She then fought her way back and has pushed herself all season. Oh and she also won the most immunities throughout the season. Chrissy went a different route, telling the jury that she has played a far stronger game than any of them even realised, relying on her biggest strength, her personality. One by one she formed bonds with everyone in the tribe, before she went against Croc to save Jesse post-swap which ultimately cost him his place in the game, leading to her taking out Ben. She then said that while she loves Josh and sees him as her family, getting rid of him was her big move.
She then finished it off by praising the jury for being icons that taught her a bunch too, just for good measure. And damn, may she will actually take it?
Jonathan then opened the floor to the jury with Khanh questioning Mark over how he felt about screwing his wife over to get to the end with him admitting that they were always playing the game for one of them to win and they had to do what they had to do. Jordie jumped in to question why he made Jordie feel like shit for sending Jesse from the game when he did the same thing, which led to Mark apologising for making him feel a bit shit to get himself further. KJ meanwhile asked Chrissy whether putting the needs of those she loves in the game ahead of herself ruined her game with Chrissy explaining she did end up turning on Josh. In no small part thanks to her kids.
Michelle asked Shay how she would rate her game with Shay giving herself a solid 8 – no 8.5 – explaining that she always played from the minority and as such, she couldn’t pull the big moves like everyone else but she fought tooth and nail to get to the end. Josh meanwhile cussed out Chrissy for voting him out despite the fact he voted against her too. She explained that things felt off with him after the immunity challenge and as such, she knew he was making a move against her. He then asked Mark why he also turned on him with Mark essentially giving him the, too bad so sad, it was what I had to do to give myself the best shot at the win. Since that is why he is here, for his family.
Speaking of family, Sam was up next, who spoke about how much the jury loves the game and while it is obvious she is voting Mark, she wants to know what winning would mean to Chrissy. She opened up about coming into the game having zero clue about the journey she was signing up to and well, yeah, the jury didn’t like it. Jesse followed it up asking Mark how managing his threat level got him to the end, with Mark opening up about trying to make as many friends as possible and then essentially laying as low as possible. And then when Jordie identified him as a threat, he just agreed that he was so that it kind of disarms the issue. Leading to Jordie praising him for being a role model to him and his brother and damn, they really are telegraphing this win, no?
With that the jury voted before Jonathan wheeled out a TV to Skype with their loved ones with poor tired little Harry just wanting to go to sleep while Sam and Mark held back tears over how much they missed their son. Jonathan then wheeled out his dad and stepmother in the flesh before the tears really started flowing. Shay’s parents and Ben arrived on the scene with her mum rocking pink hair like an icon and well, her dad is adorbs, so I love them too. Chrissy’s daughters were then wheeled out and once again, I am crying. I’m also crying to see Croc again, given he was the iconic alpha male winner that we deserve. Most importantly, her daughter Lulu is a Jonathan stan too and well, I love her. Particularly since she felt sad for Chrissy having to sleep in the dirt for almost 50 days.
Chrissy admitted that it is what it is at this point, while Mark was grateful to have his parents here while Shay would be honoured for the jury to crown her as their winner. Sadly for her though, they did not, as the votes all piled up on Mark and handed him the win.
As soon as she wandered out of tribal council, I pulled Shay in for a massive hug and congratulated her on a job well done. While the jury clearly didn’t appreciate her gameplay, there is no denying that she dominated physically and when nobody is willing to play with you on a strategic level, what else do you do? As such, I toasted her success and celebrated her with a piping out Shayelle Larbjoie.
Piping hot and packed with flavour, there is nothing quite like a perfectly cooked larb. And while I may not be perfect (at cooking larb, at least), this is still a glorious punch of flavour. Hot, salty and sweet, it fills your palette with joy. Basically.
Enjoy!
Shayelle Larbjoie Serves: 4.
Ingredients ¼ cup jasmine rice 2 tbsp vegetable oil 6 shallots, sliced 500g chicken mince 1 tsp muscovado sugar 2 tbsp fish sauce 2 limes, zested and juiced 1 tsp lemongrass 2 bird’s eye chillies, sliced ¼ cup coriander, roughly chopped ½ cup mint, roughly chopped salt, to taste
Method Place a wok over low heat and toast the dry grains, stirring frequently, for about five minutes, or until golden and fragrant. Transfer to a mortar and pestle, grind and set aside to cool. Add the oil to the wok and fry half the shallots until crisp. Scoop out and transfer to a sheet of paper towel.
Crank the heat to medium and once scorching, add the chicken and cook until browned and crisp. Add in the sugar, fish sauce and lime zest and juice and stir until sticky. Add the ground rice, raw shallots and herbs and cook for a further minute before seasoning to taste.
Serve immediately, with a sprinkling of fried shallots and then devour.
Previously on Australian Survivor 12 pairs made up of 20 new castaways, 3 veterans and 1 very special imported queen were marooned in the Australian Outback. The paris were split up from their loved ones and forced to compete as the hilariously named Blood and Water tribes. Sandra was obviously an icon, as was her daughter Nina who tragically got injured and medevaced from the competition like she was Khanh’s pants, as he repeatedly got dacked in challenges. Alliances were made and broken, daughters voted out mothers, sisters voted out sisters, Sam straight up stole an idol from someone’s pocket. One by one they were eliminated – most recently, the iconic KJ – until only four remained with Mark, Shay, Josh and Chrissy ready to battle it out for the win.
The tribe awoke on Day 46 with Shay excusing herself from camp to centre herself ahead of the final immunity challenge. She opened up about fighting hard to make it to this point, almost grateful that she lost Ben so early so she could fight all on her own. And damn, I’m as proud of her as she is of herself. We next heard from Josh and while it took us ten episodes to hear from him, his post-swap game was quite dominating and he truly has played a strong strategic game. However, given we haven’t been shown too much of that, I feel his fears about Shay winning final immunity may come to fruition and prove to be his spoiler.
Chrissy reflected on her time in the game, shocked by how much she has changed, particularly since she is well positioned to make it to the end. And given she has played far and away the best social game, she truly is well positioned to take out the win if she can articulate her game to the jury. If. Mark meanwhile reflected on how much Survivor has shaped his life, given it is how he met his wife, so thanks to the game, he has his son. Mark spoke about how proud he is to have completely flipped his game on its head from his first season to the second and as such, he is ready to take out the win.
The final four met with Jonathan on a cliff over the water where they learnt that this is officially the final immunity challenge of the season and that this year, they will have a final three. Jonathan then pulled out a phone and gave them all a taste from home with Chrissy’s kids promising to pop the cordials on ice, Mark broke down to hear Harry tell him that he loves him before Sam’s mum told him that his mum would be watching over him today and ugh, why am I bloody sobbing?! Like me, Shay sobbed as soon as she heard Ben and her parents voices and well, it was so damn pure. And then Josh spoke to his pregnant fiance and damn, Jonathan, there better be an ad before this challenge because I need to work through these tears.
But back to the challenge, the final four would each have to hold on to pegs hanging over a waterfall, moving further and further down them until there is only one person left standing. Who would progress directly to the final three, while one of the remaining trio would become the final member of the jury later that night. After breezing through the first level, all four moved on to the third peg as Chrissy wondered how in the hell any of them would reach the final one. While everyone appeared to struggle, Shay stood like a statue and honestly, I can’t tell if the outcome is just that obvious or, somehow, she is going to drop despite people fearing her winning this one since the merge.
Everyone made it to the fourth peg after an hour with Chrissy chatting away to Jonathan about how talking to her kids has made her focused on winning the season and as such, the boys should be nervous. Essentially. Since she spoke about needing to go with her head over her heart. After moving to the fifth peg, the pain really started to get to Chrissy though she managed to push through until the sixth peg before she ultimately dropped after more than 90 minutes. Mark started to struggle while Shay calmly stretched and breathed through the pain before Josh dropped out of nowhere mere minutes after Chrissy. After progressively getting more and more uncomfortable, Mark lost his grip and fell into the water handing Shay final immunity.
Just as everyone has been predicting all season.
Back at camp the tribe gave the usual half-hearted congratulations to Shay who was thrilled to be guaranteed to make it to the end. Given she is super kind, she apologised to everyone for ruining their plans before the boys went away for a chat. Which confused the hell out of the girls, given they are both going to the end. Shay and Chrissy caught up to decide who was the lesser threat out of the boys. Josh meanwhile was feeling like an absolute mastermind, telling Mark that they should both vote for Chrissy and hope that the girls don’t come up with a consensus and as such, they win out. Or, worst case, they go to fire.
Mark went back to camp to pitch voting out Josh to Shay while Josh moped to Chrissy about how they were both accepting of their fate and as such, they weren’t even going to try to get rid of her. Sadly for Josh, Mark had zero interest in going to the final three with him and as such, genuinely pushed for Chrissy and Shay to join him in voting Josh out. Particularly since he has a strong resume and is genuinely likeable. Sadly for common sense, the thought of voting out Josh breaks her heart and as such, Chrissy was unsure whether she can bring herself to do it. Despite knowing that sitting next to him essentially guarantees she loses.
At tribal council Shay admitted she was thrilled that everyone tried so hard in the challenge despite obviously destroying them. Chrissy attributed her performance to talking to her kids, with Mark agreeing how amazing it was to speak to his son as Sam quietly sobbed from the jury bench. Talk turned to the fact both Josh and Mark were in danger, with Josh admitting that he is well and truly bricking it. Mark meanwhile acknowledged that there really isn’t much any of them could do today, so he is hopeful that the bonds he built throughout the season will keep him safe.
Chrissy said that she is heartbroken to have to vote out one of the boys while Shay admitted that she is looking forward to seeing things implode a bit. Which is exactly what was happening as Josh started whispering to Chrissy that she needs to vote for Mark in the hope of confusing her. Which didn’t happen as Chrissy finally made the right move, banded together with Mark and Shay to boot Josh from the game as the final juror.
While Josh was obviously super disappointed to miss out on a place in the final tribal council, he was thrilled to join the iconic Australian Survivor Fourth Place Robbed Goddess club. And, you know, to be going back home to a pregnant fiance. As such, the visit was less about sorry you lost and more, congratulations for all you’ve got ahead of you. Most importantly, a big batch of fresh Josh Karaagate Chicken.
Karaage chicken is one of those things you can eat no matter what the time or your mood. A little sweet, a hint of spice, a gorgeous crunch and a big punch of juicy chicken; it is, to me, perfect.
Enjoy!
Josh Karaagate Chicken Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 tsp grated ginger 5 garlic cloves, minced 2 tbsp dry sake 3 tbsp soy sauce 2 tsp raw caster sugar 500g boneless chicken thighs, cut into large bitesize chunks peanut oil, for fryin’ 1 cup potato starch ½ tsp kosher salt ½ tsp black pepper 1 lemon, cut into wedges
Method Combine the ginger, garlic, sake, soy and caster sugar in a large bowl, and toss through the chicken until well coated. Cover and pop in the fridge to marinate overnight.
When you’re ready to cook, pop a few inches of oil in a deep pot and place over medium heat until nice and hot. Take the chicken out of the fridge and combine the potato starch in a bowl with the salt and pepper. Working a few pieces at a time, toss the chicken in the starch and then gently pop in the oil to fry for a few minutes, or until golden and crispy and cooked through. Transfer to a baking sheet lined with paper towel to drain and repeat the process until done.
Then, serve piping hot with some lemon wedges and wasabi mayo. And devour.
Fame Hungry 