Previously on Australian Survivor seven iconic Aussies were marooned in the Samoan wilderness, alongside seven icons from around the globe for the ultimate battle. 25 years in the making. There were people calling themselves gods and kings, there were black widows and icons and some unknowns from smaller franchises, destined to become modern legends. From the very first moments, things were kind of wild as David approached South Africa’s Rob to form a cross tribal alliance at the very first challenge. Tragically for David, it didn’t go far, as after the World tribe lost the immunity challenge, Parvati tried to bond with Rob by telling him David mentioned wanting to work with him while filming DONDI (the month before). Which Rob tried to use to get rid of her.
Sadly for him, Parvati is a legend and gave a dominating performance at the first tribal council and showed him the door. Though did kind of spoil DONDI for poor Lisa.
The Aussies then went on a losing streak, and while Shonee was keen to snip George as quickly as possible, Kirby took control and led the charge against David. Then the tribe, minus Luke and Janine, joined forces to get rid of George. Which was kind of tragic, as this was George at his most likeable. A surprise double tribal saw Sarah and Cirie compete in a fire challenge for immunity, sending the Aussies back to camp, while World turned on themselves. Knowing it was him or Tommi, Tony went to town and target Parvati as the head of the women’s alliance, despite the fact Parv desperately wanted to keep Tony around as a shield. Like Rob before him, however, Parvati dominated him when under attack, sending him out of the game just before the merge.
To celebrate the merge, JLP hosted a sweet little auction, with Luke winning the power to boot someone without any prizes. Which he promptly used to send Parv back to camp, where a vote steal advantage was waiting for her. With both tribes split 5-5, it looked like it was going to be a tied vote, until the Sarah/Kirby feud reached its peak, leading to Kirby and Shonee to give us the shontent we were craving by aligning with Parvati and Cirie to send the model from the game. The international trio then turned things on Kirby and sent her out the door, before a wild double tribal council sent Kass and Tommi out the door back-to-back.
Lisa was the last one standing and tried to cause a little chaos, but when it didn’t work, tried to put in the work to set Cirie up a little better by pointing out to Shonee she should work with Parv and Cirie to get to the end. Sadly when it came down to five, Shonee lost immunity and the two duos decided to band together and send our best to never win from the game. After Parvati won her first final immunity, votes were deadlocked between Luke and Cirie before the worst history repeated itself and Cirie finished in fourth due to fire. Like her very first season.
Despite Janine and Luke putting up decent performances in final tribal council, it was clear that Parvati’s game was on another level this season. Completely. She walked into the game with a bigger target than two-time winner Tony, but was in control of every single vote and frankly dominated every aspect of the game. And given it was her third time at final tribal council, it was clear she was able to articulate it with ease. Which guaranteed her enough votes to finally jag her second win.
As she exited the final tribal council, I jumped into her arms and broke down in tears. Despite being a massive Sandra fan, I love them both equally and to now call them both two-time winners is frankly too much for me to take. She truly put on her best performance this season, and I am so grateful that she is the final person that JLP crowned before his tragic axing. And my final recipe on the blog, in the form of my Parvzerotti Shallow.
There is frankly no better way to wrap up the blog by officially killing off the Survivor Pizza Curse via a technicality. Essentially just a fried calzone, these little pockets fill me with nostalgia for childhood tuckshop pizza pockets. But a more elevated and grown up version, kind of like the masterclass Parv just put on 17 years later. Ugh, they are delicious, so just go make them before I cry.
Enjoy!
Parvzerotti Shallow Serves: 2 dear friends, one of whom just joined the Two-Time Survivor Winner club.
Ingredients 210ml warm water, about 38C 1 tbsp raw caster sugar 7g dry yeast 2 tbsp olive oil, plus extra for greasing 2 ½ cups 00 flour, plus extra for kneading 2 tsp kosher salt 225g mozzarella cheese 1 cup passata ¾ tsp dried oregano 75g salami, roughly chopped ¼ green capsicum, diced ¼ cup black olives, sliced vegetable oil, for fryin’
Method To start, combine the warm water, sugar and yeast in the bowl of a stand mixer and leave to get nice and foamy for about five minutes. Add the olive oil, flour and two teaspoons of the kosher salt, and knead using the dough hook on the lowest speed for 5-10 minutes, or until a soft dough forms. Lightly oil a large bowl and pop in the dough, cover with cling and allow to prove for an hour or two, or until doubled.
While the dough gets proving, combine the mozzarella, passata, oregano, salami, capsicum and black olives in a bowl. Form into 8 equal portions and pop on a lined plate and place in the fridge until you’re ready to cook.
When the dough has doubled, punch it back and split into 8 equal portions. Working one at a time, roll on a lightly floured surface until they form a smooth, springy dough ball. Pop on a lined baking sheet and repeat the process until they are all done.
Working one at a time, use a rolling pin to flatten into a 15cm wide disc. Pop a portion of filling in the centre, and fold the dough in half, pleating the seams together to form a semi-circle parcel. Repeat the process, placing them on the lined baking sheet as you go.
When they’re all ready, pop an inch of two deep worth of oil in a dutch oven and heat until it reaches about 180C. Once hot, fry the panzerotti two at a time for a minute or so, before flipping and cooking for a further minute. Transfer to a wire rack and repeat the process until done.
Leave to rest for five minutes, before devouring like an icon. In honour of redemption, JLP and all the celebrities that have graced the pages of the interwebs before us. Even the two that asked for their recipes to be pulled xx
Oh, and thank you for the support – it has been a blast!
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Previously on Australian Survivor seven of the best Aussies were thrown into battle against seven of the best from around the globe, with us seeing big names go out back to back to back in the form of Rob, David and George. JLP then decided to spice up the Mother convention by switching things up with individual immunity for each tribe, as both tribes would attend the next tribal council. With Shonee months out from giving birth, she couldn’t jag victory in one of her signature challenges, leaving Sarah to take out victory for the Aussies. While all the internationals were still fighting until Parvati narrowly snagged victory for the World over Kass. Back at camp, Shonee found herself the Aussie target while the World tribe were torn between Tony and Tommi. At tribal council, Jonathan explained that one tribe would only be at tribal council temporarily, as a fire making challenge would decide which stays. Repeating history, poor Cirie was defeated, this time by Sarah, leading to an explosive World tribal council where Tony and Parv went to town, before the Black Widow felled the two-time champ.
And jagged the hidden immunity idol as everyone exited, even getting JLP to mind her torch while she looked.
Back at camp the new Black Widow Brigade were delighted to have survived tribal council, particularly one that was as wild and chaotic as Tony with his back against the wall. Parvati in particular was thrilled to have been able to jag the hidden immunity without anyone even noticing. Cirie was quick to remind them that while they were glad to see Tony go, she would still far prefer to be going into the merge with a 6-4 advantage, rather than being even with the Aussies. Though Kass didn’t really mind, given she, Tommi and Lisa had the power in their current tribe. And even though she knows she can’t trust Parvati long term, she will fight tooth and nail to stay in the numbers at the first merge vote.
Right on cue, the tribes met up with Jonathan the next day for a cheeky little auction, with a side of merge buffs because they have officially merged. Everyone dropped their old stinky buffs and popped on with their new ones, with Parvati immediately nervous about being the biggest target left with Tony gone. Shonee meanwhile was thrilled to be the first Aussie to make the merge four times in a row, even though she knew that the Aussies were intending to get rid of her last night, and as such, wants anyone to go except for Kirby.
JLP checked in with Lisa, who broke down about how excited she was to make the merge again. She didn’t really elaborate though, as the auction kicked off – sweet Tommi’s first! The first item was a scroll, with him quickly bidding all of his money. Kirby grew nervous and was going to buy in with rocks, and while she declined, Lukewas in. With the King of the Jungle coming out on top of the rock draw, opening the scroll in front of the merge tribe and learning that he just bought himself the power to send someone straight back to camp, promptly booting Parv and putting a massive target on his back. With her promising that it will definitely come back to bite him. She then counted down from 5 to allow him the chance to change his mind, however he didn’t, and just like that, an enemy was made.
With the iconic Black Widow alone at camp to simmer in her rage, JLP pulled out a rack of ribs and a beer which went to Shonee for $480. A heavy covered item went to Kirby for $500 after a bidding war with Sarah, which was revealed to be a big glass jar of popcorn. Similar to Ray’s famed one from Kirby’s OG season, which resulted in a massive advantage for the owner. Though seemingly had nothing this time. A club sandwich and a coke almost went to Shonee for $20, before Lisa jumped in and won it for $40. Another heavy, covered item went to Sarah which was a massive chocolate cake which she could not share. Oh and then it was over, just like that.
We followed Parvati back to camp where she was continuing to rage about Luke coming for her, feeling like he targeted her for being the biggest threat. Things quickly got better, however, when she found a massive jar of cookies, giving her the option to share them with the tribe or keep them to herself. With her grateful to keep them a secret. Well, until she tried to bury them and shattered the jar in the process. Though that did prove to be helpful, given an advantage was hidden amongst them, granting her the power to snatch someone’s idol at tribal council.
The tribe joined her just as she had finished disposing of all the evidence, allowing plenty of time for everyone to get to know each other. Tommi shared that he was hoping to get a win for Finland, while Luke wasn’t too concerned about making an enemy of Parv as the Aussies will stick together and have his back. Right on cue, we checked in with Kirby who was busy making friends with all of the World players. Luke then praised Cirie, while Parvati told Shonee she loves following her on Instagram, and honestly, this still feels like an absolute fever dream. Kirby finally caught up to Parvati, promising her that she is still keen to work with her, with the Black Widow pretending she is on the outs of her tribe and only survived because she was immune. Kirby assured her that unlike Luke, she isn’t scared of her, and wants to play with the best and as such, she wants to work with her and Cirie. With both of the US girls promising they were equally keen to work with her. Cirie threw out that she would love to work with Shonee, before Kirby said that is great, but she doesn’t think they can work with Sarah anymore as she is clearly threatened by the big players.
Kirby pulled Shonee aside to see how she was feeling about Sarah, with them agreeing that she clearly has no interest in working with them, and as such they were both keen to jump ship to Cirie and Parvati. Though Shonee cautioned that they need to make sure Sarah doesn’t get to them first. As such, we pivoted to Sarah telling Parvati that Kirby can’t be trusted and she doesn’t like threats and as such, they need to get rid of her ASAP. Parv and Cirie compared notes, realising that one of them was lying to them and while Parv wanted to work with Kirby – who she thinks is a Black Mamba – she got the vibe that Sarah’s story had more truth. Or at the very least, she was a mutual friend of David’s and mentioning him may have played into some biases. But I digress.
The newly formed Moorditj tribe met up with JLP for the first (true) individual immunity of the season – the iconic Last Gasp. Aka the one where they would each hold onto a grate in the middle of the ocean as the tide rises, with the last person left underwater winning. As the tide rose, the rain started to pour down, costing Lisa her place after just 10 minutes. She was quickly followed by Cirie, before Kirby and Parvati pulled the plug after 15 minutes, with Shonee not long after that. After 30 minutes the rain started to pelt down as a wild lightning storm raged around them. This cost Sarah her place, while the sitouts huddled under JLP’s platform and willed the challenge to just end. Which it did at 40 minutes, as the storm became too wild and production had to step in and send everyone back to shore as the lightning had started inching towards them in the water.
After the storm cleared, JLP announced that because they couldn’t finish the challenge, the four that were still in the game had two options. Agree to draw rocks for the necklace and one of them gets it, otherwise nobody is immune at the merge tribal council. And given it isn’t really a choice, they all drew rocks resulting in Tommi winning immunity. Technically.
They returned to camp just as the rain kicked back in, and while Tommi was delighted to be immune, he admitted that he definitely would have preferred to win it outright. Luke made jokes asking everyone to not vote him out, pulling Janine aside to come up with a plan to stick Aussie strong and take out Kass as the safest option. With that, they pulled Sarah and Shonee aside to float the idea, with Sarah begging them to say Lisa instead to safeguard around an idol play. While telling Lisa that Parvati was the target in the hope that she’d like to take out a massive threat and split from the World tribe. Speaking of Lisa, she was struggling to strategise, given the rain didn’t give them any opportunity to talk privately. Thankfully she, Kass and Tommi were able to make a run to throw out a plan, with World wanting to stick together and target someone that most of the Aussies wouldn’t want to go to rocks, settling on Janine. Which Cirie was equally keen on.
Sarah and Shonee caught up with Parvati and Cirie, with Sarah floating getting rid of Lisa. And while they all agreed, after Cirie and Sarah disappeared, Shonee lingered back with Parvati to give the public what they want, locking in an alliance and assuring us that she doesn’t care for the Aussies and is happy to take control. With Kirby joining them and throwing out Sarah’s name instead. And while Parvati was a little confused about Kirby turning on her former ride or die, she was also happy to vote out anyone that wasn’t her. Despite it being a massive red flag to blindside an ally. Cirie returned, happy to go wherever the numbers are, particularly after Shonee assured her that she would be down.
Cirie told us that all she really cares about is protecting the World tribe, so she looped in Lisa, Kass and Tommi on the plan, with the internationals concerned about doing whatever Kirby is saying because it could just as easily be a trap. Which Cirie agreed with, though pointed out that if Kirby is telling the truth and votes for Sarah, and the World tribe stick together, they can dictate who goes either way. Kirby meanwhile caught up with Luke and admitted that Parvati and Cirie are planning to go for Sarah, and she would be tempted to join them. Which panicked Luke, assuring her that when Sarah tries to turn on her, he will know and he will protect her, so she needs to hold firm with the Aussies for now. Finally, the Aussies came back together, agreeing to vote together and that they would be willing to go to rocks should they need to.
At tribal council Luke spoke about how hard it was to lose immunity due to mother nature, while Kass was excited they were all finally together. Despite hearing way too many names back at camp, begging the question, are the Aussies full of cracks or full of liars. Sarah meanwhile was just hopeful that the people she was speaking to were telling the truth. Kirby spoke about making new friends because it is a new game, and that they all should be looking at options if they want to make it to the end. While Janine reminded everyone how important tonight is at setting up the end game. Cirie suggested that it is less about choosing who to ride with and more about weeding out the toxic relationships. While Parv spoke about how desperately nobody wants to go to rocks, and as such, everyone has been struggling with the choice, given the OG tribes were even.
Shonee spoke about how great a merge is at saving people that were seemingly on the outs and admitted that she could be popular with the new people. Kirby spoke about the vote being about building trust, while Parv was happy to go to war with a rival alliance, should there be one. Lisa started to get spooked that the Aussies would play an idol for Sarah based on the conversations, with her, Cirie and Kass debating the merits of voting Kirby or Sarah, worried about the idol which is actually in Luke’s pocket and will only be played for him. With that the tribe voted and after three votes piled up on Janine, three landed on Kass before the rest came in for Sarah, sending her from the game as the Queen of the Jury.
Despite the heartbreak of finding herself booted from the game, the Aussie’s resident superfan took it in her stride, admitting that she didn’t play her best game this season and as such, wasn’t surprised Kirby turned on her. I pulled her in for a massive hug and thanked her for finally coming back to the game given, IMO, she was a glaring omission from every single returning player season we’ve had thus far. And while she was felled early, she more than proved me right. As such, we toasted her Mother status as we smashed a big ol’ Schnitzzarah Tilleke.
While I think I cursed her on a technicality, this is so damn good – and massive, it was hard for her to hold a grudge. You could argue it is kind of a mega parmi, given it is simply a bunch of schnitzels pushed together to form a base, slathered in sauce and topped with pizza fixin’s – to quote Jeff. But whatever name you choose to use, all that matters is that it is delicious.
Enjoy!
Schnitzzarah Tilleke Serves: 2 former models slash best friends.
Ingredients 1 cup panko breadcrumbs 1 cup flour salt and pepper, to taste 2 eggs, whisked 2 chicken breasts, cut in half lengthways olive oil 1 cup Amber Marinara Sauce 1 cup mozzarella cheese, grated ¼ cup pineapple pieces 3 mushrooms, sliced ½ a capsicum, sliced ½ a red onion, sliced 3 tbsp olives, sliced shallots, to top
Method Preheat the oven to 180C, and place the breadcrumbs in a dish, the flour in another with a good whack of salt and pepper, and the eggs in a third. Working one at a time, dip the chicken in the flour, followed by the egg and finally the breadcrumbs to full coat.
Pop the coated chicken onto a pizza tray and press together to form a circular disc, and spritz with some olive oil. Transfer to the oven and bake for 30 minutes, or until crisp and cooked through.
Once the schnitzel is cooked through, remove from the oven and smear with the marinara sauce. Sprinkle a little bit of cheese over the top, before dotting with the pineapple, mushrooms, capsicum and red onion, before giving another generous sprinkling of cheese. Transfer to the oven to bake for a further 15 minutes, or until the cheese is golden and crisp. Sprinkle with fresh shallots before devouring, like the Queen that you are.
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Previously on Australian Survivor the Postgraduates were well and truly in control after avoiding a rockdraw. After Kaelan won immunity, they decided to stay silent against the OG Brawn girls to make sure they couldn’t find a crack. Thankfully the Brawns were not keen on going down without a fight, soKristin got to work trying to woo Zara. Though she clearly wasn’t budging. At tribal council, Kate shared how frustrated she was knowing there were cracks, so made one final attempt at flipping Zara by changing the vote to Myles. Sadly for them, Zara stayed firm with her alliance – mainly because Kate is her biggest competition – as poor Kristin was sent out the door.
Back at camp everyone celebrated making the final six, before the majority went for a walk to congratulate themselves for sticking to their OG plan for the first time all season. Back at the shelter, Morgan and Kate decided that the only thing left to do was be iconic, so snacked on rice. Myles meanwhile was thrilled by how solid his alliance was, so asked everyone who should go next, with Zara quickly suggesting Kate. And while they all seemed solid, Myles admitted to us that Kate isn’t his biggest threat and as such, if their alliance comes undone, you better trust and believe it will be because of him.
The next day everyone woke up bright and early, looking super paranoid about how they will get to the end, given there are just days remaining. Kaelan was downplaying his progressive rise in power to Myles, saying the more challenges he won, the more scared he became. While AJ and Zara were busy talking about how paranoid Myles and Kaelan are. Particularly the latter, given he has won so many immunity challenges he is now convinced he will be booted the instant he doesn’t win. AJ assured Zara he is finally ready to get rid of Morgan and Kate, before going to catch up with the boys and while they quickly locked in said Kate vote, Myles reiterated to us that he has an idol and will gladly use it to blindside Kaelan should the opportunity arise. The wrinkle being that he would need Morgan’s help.
As such, Myles caught up with Morgan who promptly figured out that he would be looking to get rid of Kaelan ASAP. She immediately jumped onboard his plan, happy to make peace and get him out. Though given he had no answer when she asked what happens if he wins immunity, Kaelan is totally winning immunity right? Myles then shared his ideal final three is him, AJ and Zara, given they would both take him to the end. As such, he also floated the Kaelan plan with Zara, with her happy to get rid of him, given he clearly has no intention of letting her get near the final challenge and as such, she was onboard with Myles and Morgan’s plan.
With all that talk, the tribe met up with JLP for the immunity challenge – where Kaelan will break the individual immunity win record, right? – where they will leap off a platform in the water and race through a series of obstacles to collect balls before arriving on shore and using a stick to push all the balls up a ramp and into a basket. Kaelan obviously got out to a massive lead, while AJ, Morgan and Myles worked hard to close the gap. While Myles’ bold strategy helped him close the gap, Kaelan quickly got his eye in and landed his first ball. Myles tied things up just before Kaelan almost landed his second ball, before dropping and handing Myles the lead. The pressure then started to get to Kaelan who dropped a few more times, before Myles dropped, allowing Kaelan enough time to catch up and score himself his record-breaking sixth individual immunity.
Back at camp everyone congratulated Kaelan on his historic win. Well except for Kate and Morgan, who realised that there was now no chance that both of them would survive the night. While the plan was firmly set on getting rid of Kate for being a threat, AJ shared with us that Morgan was the bigger threat to his game and as such, he wanted to get rid of her instead. He pulled Zara and Kaelan aside and tried to point out their best move was for Kate and Morgan to vote for each other, hoping that Morgan would go. Sadly he said that out loud, which made Zara nervous, given Kate is her biggest threat and she needs her to go ASAP. Despite being told not to say anything, AJ obviously caught up with Kate and told her that the only way to guarantee her safety tonight was to vote for Morgan. Sadly for him, it made her burst into tears at the thought of turning on her ally.
He obviously realised he screwed up, so caught up with Kaelan by the well and tried to convince him that Myles came up with the Kate plan. Hilariously, though, Kaelan pointed out that he and Zara actually wanted her out, given she can beat them in endurance challenges. Though bless AJ, he quickly pointed out that Myles thinks he can beat Morgan at final tribal council and as such, they need to get rid of her so he has no other option but to stick with them. Kaelan then pulled Zara aside to get her onboard with getting rid of Morgan. Zara being Zara, she immediately shut Kaelan down and pointed out that AJ consistently changes up the vote last minute to benefit his game and his alone, so she was not having it. And that seemed to calm Kaelan.
AJ meanwhile was busy talking to Kate, assuring her that he is desperately trying to save her over Morgan. Sadly for him, Kaelan and Zara were watching him talk to Kate. This made Zara irate, approaching AJ and telling him that she is not voting for Morgan tonight and Kate has to go. She pointed out all the reasons why she found her to be the biggest threat, before adding that she is also concerned that when Kate is emotional, AJ just does what she wants. AJ pointed out that Morgan going home is the only thing that keeps Myles from flipping on them and in turn, keeps Kaelan safe. Which Zara hilariously pointed out wasn’t best for her. They both eventually landed on the fact that Zara is more concerned about Kaelan being in the game at the final four, while AJ can only focus on Myles. And finally, things are clearer.
Myles caught up with Kate, telling her that he is sad Kaelan won immunity today, while Kate started to cry about potentially voting out Morgan. The duo then caught up in the hammock, sobbing to be broken up, as Morgan encouraged Kate to just vote her out as it will ruin their plans, which is a win in itself. Kate was confused about what she was saying, with Morgan astutely pointing out that she can’t win and as such, she’d rather fuck with the Brains’ plans and help Kate make it one more round. That was enough, however, to inspire them to make one final pitch to get rid of Myles, with Kate pulling Kaelan aside to point out that he needs to make a big move if he wants to win the game. And blindsiding Myles could just be that big move.
At tribal council Kaelan shared how proud he was to take out his sixth immunity and most importantly, keep his alliance strong by keeping it out of their rivals’ hands. AJ wanted to see the streak run longer so the record could never be broken, while Kate pointed out that Kaelan is beatable – she has proven it multiple times – though he is clearly well rounded. Myles spoke about how close he came to winning and as such, isn’t concerned about Kaelan winning every single challenge. Because now people are more hungry to target him should he lose. Kaelan agreed it is stressful to think about losing, though is planning to ride the momentum as long as he possibly can. Myles mentioned that at some point, Kaelan winning immunity could become an inconvenience for his game, though it isn’t a problem yet. And his focus is still on getting rid of Morgan and Kate.
Morgan hilariously pointed out she spent the afternoon napping, given she and Kate are willing numbers, and it is honestly up to the others to make use of them at this point. Kate then accused everyone of playing it too safe to get to the top five, pointing out it is easier to make a big move with two extra votes rather than one. And they will end up losing the chance to actually make a move if they waste time. Zara cautioned that they have all made so many moves to get here, while Myles suggested the timing isn’t right for a move. This time the yet was implied. AJ mentioned it only makes sense if you want to make the chessboard look different, otherwise, they shouldn’t make a move and just ride it out.
Kate spoke about feeling like a sitting duck, which led to JLP announcing that tonight would be a little different. Someone would be voted out, but not before the remaining five vulnerable people competed in a second immunity challenge. No doubt to improve the odds for the Brawns. With that, everyone pivoted to the challenge where they would hold a rope to balance a platform and walk along a balance beam to build a house of cards on the rickety platform. The first to reach a marker winning, or whoever was highest after 45 minutes. AJ was the first to have a big stack, while Myles powered ahead with Kate nipping at his heels. The duo were neck and neck for the rest of the challenge, centimetres from the marker when Myles dropped, opening it up for Kate to slowly work away before she too dropped. Morgan was then in the lead before she dropped, putting AJ in front, with him dropping right on cue. While Kate and Zara quietly worked away and just hoped to be the highest at the end of 45 minutes, slowly backing behind the line before Zara dropped a single block at the very last minute, handing Kate the second immunity.
They returned to tribal council where the jury were delighted to see Kate take out immunity, though she was smart enough to know that while she is safe tonight, she will go back to the bottom tomorrow. And this time it will be worse, as she will be without Morgan. Myles admitted he just wanted to win to keep immunity out of their hands, while Zara suggested she would happily make a move if it was good. Kate once again whispered to Zara about who she would vote for, with her suggesting Myles would be her choice. Morgan meanwhile was confident they just wouldn’t make a move, while AJ reminded us that there were also advantages out there that everyone was being mindful of.
With that the tribe finally voted and despite hope that the women would once again come out on top, the Postgraduates everyone stood firm as Morgan was booted from the game. Despite forgoing final words and Jury Villa, Morgan was thrilled to see we waiting for her before she jumped in a cab to the airport home. I pulled her in for a massive hug and told her how proud of her I was, and while the audience wasn’t shown how much of an icon she was, the fact she left on her own terms, kinda proves it right? In any event, she loved her pre-departure Pineapple and Morglamb Mitchellow Curry.
Pineapple is one of the more controversial things to include on pizza, so I assume the stigma carries over to curry – but hear me out, this is incredible. While I only tried this recipe because I had some lamb lying around after the spitroast reward – not the kind I was thinking – the earthiness of the lamb and the sweet-sour pineapple just work.
Enjoy!
Pineapple and Morglamb Mitchellow Curry Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 tbsp olive oil 1 onion, sliced ⅓ cup yellow curry paste 750g lamb, diced 2 cups chicken stock 1 red capsicum, seeded and sliced 2 cups pineapple, diced 400ml unsweetened coconut milk 2 tbsp fish sauce 1 tbsp muscovado sugar rice, coriander and shallots, to serve
Method Heat the oil in a dutch oven over medium heat and once nice and hot, add the onions and sweat for five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the curry paste and cook it off for a minute before adding the lamb and browning for a couple of minutes. Stir in the chicken stock, bring to the boil, reduce to low and simmer, covered, for 30 minutes.
Once the meat is nice and soft, uncover and return to medium heat. Stir in the capsicum, pineapple, coconut milk, fish sauce and sugar, and simmer for 5 minutes to allow all the flavours to come together and the sauce to thicken slightly.
Serve over a bed of rice, with a sprinkle of coriander and shallots, and devour your way, in honour of Morgs!
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Previously on Australian Survivor Kristin, Logan and Morgan enjoyed a luxe night away and while pampering themselves in the hope of becoming luxe Brisbane icon Zara, instead set their sights on Her. Sadly for Kristin and Co, Zara used her time stuck at camp with her former allies to heal wounds and lock in a rock solid final four alliance. Emphasis on rock. After Kaelan took out immunity, they were feeling confident in sticking together. Sadly for them, so were the others, and after two deadlocks, it looked like rocks were actually incoming. Until, Kate, Morgan and Kristin lost their nerve – or learnt what it meant for them – and sent Logan home instead.
The next day, things were positively delightful back at camp as Myles showed off his pole dancing skills to the screaming delight of the girls. He was also super happy that his threat to go to rocks paid off and they now have an easy path to the end. Kate meanwhile queried whether they were actually keen to go to rocks, with the boys promising they would have had no regrets. Kaelan and Myles caught up with Kaelan assuring him that it makes sense for the four of them to work together, so they just need to avoid falling into paranoia. And then they cut Zara in fourth and battle it out from there. Talk turned to the upcoming vote with the boys realising that Kristin is the biggest threat left, quickly deciding that they need to get her out next. The only threat being an idol, so all they need to do is keep quiet and not tell the OG Brawns how they vote. And while Zara agreed with that, the fear was AJ running his mouth. Obviously.
We checked in with Kristin and Morgan who were living their best lives in the hammock, where Kristin opened up about being proud of her social game though a little bruised about how her strategic moves keep getting botched. But bless, she dusted herself off and decided that the best case moving forward would be to work with Zara to get rid of Kaelan, given he is an immunity threat. And is literally in every single person’s planned final three. As such, Kristin got to work bonding with Zara over a little hair braiding. Zara pointed out that her biggest fear is the boys knifing her in fourth place, but I worry she is just making conversation rather than actively planning to side with the girls to take them out. Zara was worried enough about being an endurance threat for the final challenge though, so went to Morgan to assure her that while the sides were locked last night, it doesn’t mean they will always be and as such, she would be open to making a move if needed.
My love Jonathan arrived for the immunity challenge where they would each hold until a bar over their head on a progressively steeper ramp, with the last one hanging on taking out the win. After ten minutes AJ dropped, followed by Myles at twenty. It then started raining – from the sky and a hose placed above each of them – making things infinitely more difficult as they lost their grip. That was enough to cost Kate, Zara and Morgan, leaving Kristin and Kaelan to battle for the win. And given our newest zaddy was zenning out like a statue and Kristin was struggling, it wasn’t a shock when she dropped and handed Kaelan his fifth immunity win.
Back at camp everyone congratulated Kaelan on his record equalling win before the Postgraduates locked in their vote for Kristin. She meanwhile asked Kaelan whether she would worry, with him telling her that he has been placed on a chat lockdown and as such can’t tell anything. But assured her he would advocate on her behalf. Kristin then approached Myles and Zara to let them know that there are three votes sitting there waiting, should they want to make a move, but they too stayed quiet. AJ meanwhile was keen to overcomplicate things and bring in Kate and Morgan to do a split vote on Kristin and one of them. Thankfully when the boys floated it with Zara, she pointed out that a split would actually result in one of them going home, given the three Brawns would stick firm.
Sadly for Zara, her frustration with the boys was written all over her face, so Kristin pulled her aside to try and work her one final time. Zara, like a boss, said that if the Brawn girls float a name, she will at least be able to consider it, otherwise there is nothing. As such, Kristin named AJ as a target and suggested they then go for Kaelan as soon as he doesn’t win immunity, given he is in everyone’s end games. Which prompted Zara to point out that he definitely wasn’t in hers. Sadly for Kristin, despite AJ being annoying, he was also Zara’s closest remaining ally and as such, she wasn’t sure she was able to pull the trigger just yet.
AJ and Myles were busy chatting by the fire, with AJ questioning why Myles didn’t like his new plan. And while Myles explained that given he had an idol, it was unlikely anyone had another one, so they shouldn’t spook Zara and Kaelan for no reason. Kate, meanwhile, was frustrated to have no information leading into tribal council, so pulled AJ aside one final time. With him essentially spilling that Krisitn is the target and while he kept dancing around saying it outright, Morgan chose to exit stage left. While he tried to spoon feed things to Kate who just wasn’t getting it. He then pulled Zara aside to try and convince her to complicate things, and while he thought he was playing smart, he was actually just pissing off his allies. And losing himself the game in the process. As he went to float it with Myles yet again, Zara aired her frustrations with Kaelan while she debated whether it actually made the most sense to align with the girls.
At tribal council Morgan spoke about how the lines seem to be locked in following Logan’s departure, with Kate upset that she was unable to take advantage of any cracks. Particularly given that everyone spoke about wanting to make big moves. Zara and AJ spoke about the importance of always keeping their ears open, though AJ was worried about shuffling the deck when he was in power. Kate continued to pitch directly to Zara, talking about it being the time to make a big move if you haven’t. Myles wisely mentioned that the best case scenario for anyone flipping would be fourth place of a different alliance. Bless, Kate and Kristin continued to work hard, pointing out that should they have similar goals, that would not be the case.
Morgan was salty that Myles never named a name, while he assured her that if she was still there tomorrow, he’d be interested in working together. Which didn’t work for her. She and Myles then argued, with Kristin suggesting that Zara could still flip. As such, Kate and Morgan suggested flipping the vote to Myles to help win her over. And when Zara got up to chat to Kate, the boys started to grow a little nervous. Despite Myles promising he wasn’t. With that the tribe voted and despite the whispers, Myles held onto his idol as the OG Brains stuck together to send Kristin from the game.
As she arrived at the Jury Villa, I pulled Kristin in for a massive hug and thanked her for bringing so much joy to the season. Despite how Paulie may have felt when confronting her later that night, Kristin has been a kind, happy player and when things got salty throughout the season, she was kind of a calm, steady force which is needed to balance things out. So between that moment of praise and Greekristin Salaston Pasta Bake, she wasn’t disappointed to have had her torch snuffed for too long.
Combining all the best bits of greek salad – cheese and olives, obvi – and trading out the healthy bits of pasta is honestly such an iconic move. Salty and rich, this quick little bake is the perfect meal as we head into the winter months.
Enjoy!
Greekristin Salaston Pasta Bake Serves: 4-6.
Ingredients 500g penne 2 tbsp olive oil 1 onion, diced 2 garlic cloves, crushed 2 tbsp tomato paste 800g canned diced tomatoes ½ cup chicken stock ½ cup black olives, pitted and sliced ½ cup chargrilled capsicum, sliced 1 tbsp oregano, roughly chopped 150g feta, crumbled ½ cup mozzarella, grated
Method Preheat the oven to 180C and get a pot of salted water over high heat. Once the water is boiling, cook the pasta per packet instructions and drain.
While that is happening, heat the oil in a large pan over medium heat and cook the onion for five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the garlic and tomato paste, and cook for a further minute before adding the diced tomatoes and stock. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for five minutes.
By that point the pasta should be done, so combine the sauce and pasta in a baking dish along with the olive, capsicum, oregano and feta. Sprinkle with the mozzarella, and pop in the oven to bake for 15 minutes, or until the cheese is gooey and golden, before devouring.
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Previously on Australian Survivor Alex invited Kirby on reward to try and finally win her over. I’m not sure how almost slicing off his nipples factored into his plans, but while shaving his chest, he sure gave it a red hot go. After Ri narrowly beat him at the third endurance immunity challenge, he tried to rally the boys to come together to make a move against Kirby, deciding they needed Caroline on board to take her out. Though specifically not Kitty, given she had grown close with Kirby. There was also a plan to take out Ray which was born at the reward, though TBH, I’m not sure how close that ever was to eventuating. Alex then read everyone for filth at tribal council and in the process, turned everyone against him, so they banded together to boot him. Either as planned, or instead of their other blindsides.
The next day Ray, Kirby, Ri and Kitty hung out by the fire in silence, with Kirby in particular feeling stressed, given she can no longer fly under the radar. Kitty and Kirby spoke about how aggressively Alex played at tribal council, and as such, nobody wanted to work with him because of it. Kirby and Ri went for a walk to talk about their exact level of being screwed, with them deciding that the only way to get the target off themselves is to give everyone a better option. Quickly deciding Mark needs to go. As such, Kirby caught up with Caroline and suggested she would gladly do whatever she wants at the next tribal council. And when Caroline offered up Mark, what do you know, she was super keen. Caroline told us that she truly is concerned about building her resume, and knew that partnering with Kirby could be the ticket to making hers unbeatable.
Kirby meanwhile went to check in with Feras, with him asking if she is nervous after everything Alex said. Feras straight up told her that he doesn’t think he needs to get rid of her yet, though in two episodes, he will probably have a crack. Feras wisely, and calmly, spoke about happily voting out Mark, before talking about how they need to figure out whether they want to move forward with their allies, or whether they should look at who they could beat. With Kirby straight up suggesting her ideal final two would be her and Feras, given it would be the biggest competition and she could then say she beat the best. Feras then went for a wander with Ray, who wisely cautioned that Kirby is obviously going to say that to him, given she knows she is the one to beat. So she won’t care who she sits next to. And just like that, operation take down Kirby was back on.
As Mark, Kitty, Ri and Kirby frolicked in the ocean, Caroline got back to Pat Mullins-ing, telling us that she and Kitty are focused on keeping Ri and Kirby close enough so they will be able to get rid of Mark, given it is all she has wanted since the swap. Feras meanwhile was busy fishing, talking about how it is clear that Kirby is nervous and as such, he is confident that she is busy building a female alliance. As such, he pulled Caroline aside to run interference, telling her that Kirby told him about the all women alliance, but cautioned her plan was to get rid of Caroline next. And while it wasn’t true, it worked and Caroline was ready to chop Kirby and/or Ri. Feras then looped in Mark and Ray, while Kirby took over the watching game from Caroline, and seeing all the chats made her super nervous. Caroline then caught up with Kirby and was so friendly and high-pitched, it was clear to her that Caroline was just lying to her to keep her placated.
That night Kirby lay awake, overwhelmed by how much she is loving the game and how she will do anything to stay. As such, she woke up Feras and said that she would happily vote out Ri if it means he will keep her around. He then admitted that he has definitely heard her name being thrown around, and sadly, doesn’t see a way to stop it. Unless everyone loads up on Ri, obviously!
The tribe met up with JLP for the immunity challenge where they would race to stack a series of blocks on a plank and get them to fall like dominoes at the end. Sadly, they would also be holding a weight the entire time, and if they don’t keep it high enough, it would knock over the blocks. Almost instantly Ray and Feras knocked over their first block, as everyone struggled to get their eye in. As is oft the case the challenge was back and forth as people would start to make progress and then drop, or in Feras’ case, the wind would just blow over his blocks. Ri got out to a lead before she dropped, allowing Kitty and Kirby to power ahead, until one of Kitty’s ended up on the ground and she thought she was out of them. Which was all it took for Kirby to finish her stack, however sadly for her, they weren’t close enough, causing her to rebuild. This led to Ray, Ri and Kitty closing the gap before Kirby rebuilt and ended up falling just one short. Kitty then tried and failed, Ray tried and failed before Kirby tried one final time and finally jagged immunity.
Before she broke down in tears, wandered off to the shore and we skipped JLP popping the necklace around her neck.
Back at camp Feras and his allies quickly pivoted and locked in the plan for Ri, while Kirby tried for one last ditch attempt at getting rid of Mark. As such, she pulled Feras aside to point out that Ray and Ri just follow whatever they do but haven’t actually done anything. And as such, it is unwise of them to get rid of Ri or Ray yet, given they need them to stop the Titans from picking them off. The Titans all disappeared from camp at the same time, with Ri telling Kirby and Feras she knows she is at least copping a few votes. Ri then caught up with Kitty who straight up flubbed and told her that she would be voting for her. She then asked Caroline, whose voice went up an octave, which was the tell that it was a lie. Kirby then caught up with Kitty and Caroline, with them once again assuring her they would like to get Mark. However this time, it inspired her to flip, given the Ri vote is following the group, but she desperately wants a move on her resume, and as such, was thinking Mark was the smarter choice for her.
At tribal council Feras spoke about how busy Kirby has been back at camp after Alex’s explosive exit at the last tribal council. Caroline spoke about how it broke the tribe apart, with literally everyone reassessing how they would make it to the end. Kirby spoke about feeling the need to win immunity today, and literally all the others, as she is on display, but trust and believe, she will always fight to stay whether she has a necklace or not. Ri spoke about how happy she was to see Kirby win, though was disappointed to know it meant she is likely copping votes. She then pointed out that while she is a challenge threat, people should also look at what people are doing back at camp. Which Mark agreed was the case, going so far as to say challenges won’t win the game. This led to a little back and forth between them, trying to get the target off themselves.
Kirby turned everyone’s attention to resume building and how hard they are all working, not just to get to the end, but to be in a winning position. She then doubled down, talking about how she firmly believes that she wants to face off against the best at the end, and while it was heartfelt, Feras laughed about wanting a fun resume and that anything can deliver a win. Mark pointed out that the tribe is well and truly full of threats, though they really need to articulate things well. Ri then whispered to Kirby that they’re good, with Kirby whispering to Feras to write down Mark’s name. And while JLP called it out, they moved on as Caroline spoke about focusing on making it to the end. With that the tribe voted and despite her confidence, the tribe banded together to boot Ri.
As she arrived at the Jury Villa I pulled Ri in and shook her hand, congratulating her on aligning with an icon and killing the endurance challenges. Specifically the ones in that frame contraption. While I’m sure she did a lot more than we were shown, poor Ri was just kind of there and while I’d love to praise her game, I just don’t know what hers was. And as such, I gave her a pat on the back, served her some Vietnamese Riannoodle Bowleys and moved on.
Unlike Ri’s edit, these bowls pack a punch and are in your face. Spicy, fresh and oh-so-more-ish, they’re the perfect thing to whip up when you’re starving and can’t decide what you want to eat.
Enjoy!
Vietnamese Riannoodle Bowleys Serves: 4.
Ingredients 1 tbsp minced lemongrass 4 garlic cloves, minced 2 tbsp coriander, roughly chopped 3 tbsp soy sauce 1 tbsp honey 1 tbsp muscovado sugar 3 tbsp fish sauce 500g chicken thighs, sliced ½ cup water 3 tbsp caster sugar 1 lime, zested and juiced 1 bird’s eye chilli, thinly sliced 4 Bruce Springsteen Rolls 200g rice vermicelli noodles sesame oil 1 head butter lettuce, roughly chopped 1 carrot, peeled and julienned 1 cucumber, julienned 1 capsicum, sliced ½ cup roasted peanuts, roughly chopped coriander and mint leaves, to taste
Method Combine the lemongrass, garlic, coriander, soy, honey, muscovado and 1 tablespoon of the fish sauce in a large bowl with the chicken thighs. Cover and pop in the fridge to marinate for a few hours.
While the chicken is getting juiced, combine the water, caster sugar, lime juice and bird’s eye chilli with the remaining fish sauce in a jug. Whisk, cover and pop in the fridge to come together.
When you’re getting hungry, cook the spring rolls as per Bruce’s recipe and the rice noodles per packet directions, and prep the veg for the bowls.
Heat a large skillet over medium heat and add a good lug of sesame oil. When shimmering and fragrant, add the chicken and stir fry for a few minutes, or until cooked through. Add all the marinade and continue to cook until it is sticky and caramelised on the outside.
To assemble, pop some lettuce in the bowl, topped by the noodles. Arrange the veg together, cut up the spring rolls and place next to the veg before popping the chicken in the final third. Sprinkle with peanuts and herbs, followed by a generous splash of the dressing. And then devour.
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Previously on Australian Survivor Mark was ready to do revenge against the Middle Aged Mafia for blindsiding Viola. Despite the fact they all felt it would force Mark into being closer with them. After the new Rebels lost yet another immunity, he convinced them that everything was all good and that he was all in on their plan to get rid of OG Rebels. He calmly suggested that they once again split the votes between Rianna and Sarah, given Alex has zero connections. He then went to said OGs and told them to join him in loading up the votes on Caroline to take control of the tribe officially, rather than just being on the bottom of the alliance. Tragically a series of blunders from Sarah and then Rianna screwed the plan, leading to a chaotic tribal where Mark wasted his idol, Ri flipped her vote to Mark and Sarah was shown the door.
The next day the mood was, once again, a little sombre as Mark tried to clear the air with Caroline about the vote. She agreed things were super messy, as he explained that the dynamics of the four are the reason why he had tried to lead the charge against them. He apologised for his actions, with her assuring him that she is happy to move past it and continue to work together. Though she warned him that the only way they can move forward is if he is able to prove trust. Which at this point is just a bit of a lol, you know?
Over at the Titans things were far more jovial as Ray was busy trying to take his undies off without removing his track pants. Accidentally flashing Valeria in the process. He then went for a swim with Feras, yelling to each other about strategising and playing idols as the tribe watched on giggling. Well, the tribe minus Kelli, who was being suspiciously quiet and calm. Which immediately made Feras worry that she found an idol. Feras and Raymond caught up with Kirby, who decided to play into things by admitting that Kelli did have an idol, hoping the spectre of it keeps them safe. Kirby looped in Kelli, who found it super funny that they thought she had an idol and she agreed it would be fun to use it to her advantage. Leveraging her psychology, of course. As such, Raymond, Feras and Garrick decided they needed to lock in the vote against Kirby with the help of the OG Titans.
The tribes reunited with Jonathan for the reward challenge where they would race into the water to collect coconuts with letters on them and spell words in a little spelling bee. Best out of 3 scoring an epic Mexican feast. Caroline and Alex faced off against Kelli and Garrick in round one to spell salsa, with the Titans taking out victory despite Kelli struggling to spell the word. Even though she hilariously assured the tribe that she can spell before the round. No joke. Mark and Rianna made things physical with Feras and Winna as they powered ahead to spell chilli, buying them enough time to tie things up for the Rebels. Winna fought hard against Kitty and Alex, as Valeria calmly worked on writing out tortilla, scoring victory for their tribe.
Back at camp the new Titans were positively delighted to discover their Mexican feast awaiting them. Everyone sat down and started smashing all the food, with Winna, Charles and Valeria in particular thrilled to finally have something to eat for the first time in three weeks. After pressing pause on the game for a little, both Feras and Kirby got to work trying to woo the OG Titans. Charles, Winna and Valeria caught up in the water debating the merits, with Charles wisely pointing out that aligning with Kirby, Scott and Kelli makes the most sense, as at least they have an even playing field, rather than going with a four. That night, Charles pulled Kirby and Scott aside to talk through their plans, with them agreeing Feras is so concerned about Kelli having an idol, he isn’t thinking about much else. Wanting to play both sides, Charles and Winna then joined up with Feras and Raymond to hear their plans, with Feras reminding them that whichever way they decide to go, they need to make sure they aren’t picked off afterwards.
Which feels a little ominous, no?
JLP made his triumphant return for the immunity challenge where the tribes would each hold up heavy barrels with the first tribe to drop a single barrel losing and joining Jonathan at tribal council. Things started out pretty zen, with only some minor adjustments to everyone’s hands before Caroline tapped out and handed her barrel to Jaden. After ten minutes, Jaden passed his second barrel over to Alex for a little bit of a break. That took its toll on Alex, trading back after ten minutes before the Titans lost their first person in Valeria. Winna was like a statue as he held onto two barrels before Aileen started to get dangerously close to dropping, forcing her to pass it off to Kirby. She needed a break, so handed her second to Garrick who immediately passed it to Feras. Winna started to get tired, passing one off to Charles and while it looked bad, both tribes were still fighting after 50 minutes. Garrick then dropped out, requiring some shuffling on Titans to save Kirby from dropping, before the tribe admitted defeat and dropped in unison, sending themselves to tribal council.
Back at camp the tribe reconvened around the fire lamenting their loss before splitting up to come up with their plans. After splitting up, Valeria was confident she, Winna and Charles will be able to pick who goes home. Sadly Aileen realised that the Rebels need to stay together for at least one vote, rallying them together and asking Feras and Kirby to put down their guns to assure themselves that OG Rebels have the advantage when they merge. By getting rid of Charles, ideally. And after a little bit of back and forth, they agreed to stick together. Garrick reluctantly, who felt it was the right time to make a break as they already have the numbers. As he simmered in his jocks, he approached Winna to see what the OG Titans were thinking, with him obviously assuring him that they are locked on Kirby. This emboldened him to go back to Feras and Aileen to make one final, hard push for Kirby. With them eventually agreeing. Again, somewhat reluctantly.
Meanwhile Raymond and Kelli were busy talking through the drama, with him telling her there will no doubt be a lot of last minute whispers as rival plans pop up. He then asked her not to play her idol for Kirby, given he wants her to be safe. This made Kelli nervous, so she approached Kirby who then looped in Scott, and just like that, they got to work locking in a rival plan to not take out Feras, but his second in command Garrick. The OG Titans disappeared to talk through their options, with them all agreeing that Kirby is more trustworthy and that is nothing else, they have the power tonight. And once each faction is down to three, they can reassess. They caught up with Kirby who looped them in on the Garrick plan, as they whispered it throughout camp. All the chatter made Feras nervous, who pulled Winna aside to talk about the possibility of Valeria flipping on them. With Winna assuring him that Valeria won’t flip on them, begging the question, which them is he talking about? They then turned their nerves to Kelli and her (non) idol, and how to navigate it. With Kirby assuring us that she will be trying to make everyone paranoid about what exactly Kelli could do. Which will be super easier for Kirby, given the Kelli of it all.
At tribal council Aileen spoke about how the OG Rebels clearly have an advantage, though if the OG Titans stick together, they have so much power. Winna agreed that when there are cracks, they can kind of make the choice, while Charles straight up pointed out that tonight is just about picking a side between the divided Rebels. Kirby pointed out that a true alliance doesn’t need to overdo it and simply have a discussion, and stick to it. Feras spoke about finding the balance between being paranoid and trusting in people. Kirby then called him paranoid, though admitted it is right to be, given he and Aileen pushed to be Rebel strong and then immediately switched. Kirby pointed out they had been duplicitous, leading to Garrick and Feras arguing that she was actually the one that turned on them first and that is why they don’t trust her. Despite her now playing the victim.
Garrick spoke about how disappointed he was in Kirby betraying them and how upset he still is. This led to Kirby denying she did anything wrong, with chaos erupting as Kirby, Feras and Garrick got extremely heated. Kirby tried to take credit for the Peta vote – again, no jury yet, so not relevant – despite not voting for her, which was the sticking point for the boys. Feras put a pin in the fighting as he admitted the divide is so large that there is absolutely no point denying it. Garrick meanwhile was super nervous, feeling like the tribe turned against him, as Feras confirmed with Valeria that the OG Titans were voting with them. And Scott just begged JLP to let them vote so they can finally draw some lines in the damn sand and move on tomorrow.
With that the tribe voted as Aileen begged Feras to play his idol for Garrick, before he held firm and she was proven correct, as the OG Titans joined Kirby’s alliance to blindside Garrick from the game. And let’s just say, he was well and truly pissed. As he arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled him in for a massive hug and assured him all would be ok. Because with such on point reads and a great display (despite going out early), if there is justice, he will make a triumphant return. And between that epic peptalk and piping hot Baked Garreek Meatballdman Pitas, he was feeling better in no time.
This meal looks like hard work, but is truly so simple. Prep everything, chuck it on a tray and you’re good to go. And better yet, it is jam packed with flavour and oh so good. Spicy, creamy and warming.
Enjoy!
Baked Garreek Meatballdman Pitas Serves: 4-6.
Ingredients 500g lamb mince 1 onion, grated 4 garlic cloves, minced 1 lemon, zested and juiced ½ cup parsley, roughly chopped 2 tsp ground cumin 1 tsp dried oregano ½ tsp cayenne pepper kosher salt and pepper, to taste 4 potatoes, cut into 1cm matchsticks 2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil 200g Jaida Essence Halloumi, diced 1 capsicum, diced 1 large avocado, halved and seeded ¼ cup greek yoghurt ½ cup basil 1 jalapeño, trimmed and if you don’t want the heat, seeded 1 tsp smoked paprika ½ tsp garlic powder ½ tsp onion powder 4 Pita Andre Breads, to serve
Method Preheat the oven to 200C and line two baking sheets.
Combine the mince, onion, garlic, lemon zest, parsley, cumin, oregano and half the cayenne pepper in a large bowl, with a good whack of salt and pepper, and scrunch with your hands to combine. Wet your hands and roll into golf ball sized meatballs, popping on the lined baking sheet. Cover and leave to rest.
Toss the sliced potatoes in olive oil and salt and spread over the second baking sheet. Pop in the oven and cook for 15 minutes, before flipping and cooking for a further 20 minutes. Add the haloumi and capsicum to the meatball tray and pop in the oven when you take the chips out to flip.
While they are cooking, pop the avocado, yoghurt, basil, jalapeno and lemon juice in a blender, and blitz until smooth. Season to taste.
Combine the paprika, garlic and onion powders and cayenne pepper in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Remove the meatballs, haloumi and chips from the oven, and toss the chips through the spices.
To serve, dollop some avocado onto plates. Followed by the meatballs, fries, halloumi and capsicum, with pitas. And devour however you see fit.
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Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls put on a suprisingly fun Snatch Game as mother Melinda take out her first win of the season and proved that she was more than just good drama. Returning the favour by saving her friend Kiki and leaving Aurora to dominate the lip sync and send Luna to the house. Brooke then announced that this week would be a little different, as the dolls would compete in a Lip Sync Slay Off Extravaganza, with three people lip syncing and two people going home. In the first round, Melinda defeated Kitten, Aurora sent Denim to the bottom four, Nearah got revenge on her nemesis Aimee and Venua won out over Kiki. And I decided to hedge my bets and assumed Aimee would be one of the dolls going home, I gave her culinary comfort before she did go home.
But I’ve gotten ahead of myself.
In round two, Melinda and Aurora did battle to Boys Wanna Be Her by my queen Peaches. And yeah, it was obviously a slay from both of the dolls. But Aurora played her leg like a guitar and as such, rightly took out the win while Melinda was sent to safety. Nearah and Venus then slayed the shit out of Pull Up by Keys N Krates featuring Haviah Mighty. And yeah, it was a show. But once again, Nearah proved to be an assassin, taking out the win and sending Venus to safety. As such, Nearah stuck around on stage as Aurora joined her in the fight for the win to Black Velvet. And since it is literally one of the best songs of all time, the dolls gave it their all and did it justice. But given it is all sex, Nearah had the upper hand and parlayed it into her first win of the season and gave her the power of the Golden Beaver, allowing her to save one of the bottom four while the remaining trio would fight to avoid being a double boot.
Backstage the dolls came together to contgratulate Neaah on her win, before she asked if anyone wanted to volunteer to earnt their place in the top six and lip sync. Everyone, obviously, kept quiet though. Aimee pretended she didn’t hate Nearah as she wanted to be safe, while Denim was very, very anxious, given she doesn’t feel like Nearah can be trusted to be fair and she is a threat. Essentially. Kitten meanwhile spoke about all her skills, immediately stirking her from being saved by Nearah. While Kiki desperately hoped that Nearah’s passion for stirring the pot would save her. Given it would make it a third time for her.
Ultimately Nearah opted to save Denim, as Kitten, Aimee and Kiki took their places to fight for the final slot to Lara Fabian’s I Will Love Again. And damn, Kiki found her fire as she turned emotions and tricks in equal measure. Kitten meanwhile had emotion, while Aimee was in the pocket, but there is no denying this was Kiki’s show and as such, she was rightly saved and sent through to the top six, while Aimee and Kitten sashayed away.
Given we already covered Aimee’s departure before it happened – hey, we know I’m psychic and invented time travel, after all – I could focus all my attention on the ultimate robbed goddess of the season, Kitten. As she arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and immediately burst into tears. Through sobs, I told her how grateful I was to have a legend actually turn up and slay week after week, as so often the older gals don’t get the flowers they deserve. And TBH, if it weren’t for a double boot, I could easily have seen her making it to the top four. However, tragically, that wasn’t the case and instead we had to eat our feelings with big bowls of Zucchini Chicken Kanoodles.
Yeah, yeah – zucchini as pasta is a thing we’re all keen on now (particualrly in the new year, new me period), but in pasta? Well, that isn’t something we love. Until you try this, that is. Juicy, sweet and oh so fresh, it is the perfect throw-together meal that leaves you feeling nourished and smug, given it is healthy.
Enjoy!
Zucchini Chicken Kanoodles Serves: 4.
Ingredients 250g angel hair spaghetti 1 tbsp olive oil 1 tbsp butter 500g chicken breast, diced 2 zucchinis, halved, deseeded and sliced 1 capsicum, deseeded and sliced 5 garlic cloves, minced 1 tsp Italian seasoning 1 lemon, zested and juiced ½ cup parmesan cheese, grated ½ cup Italian parsley, diced ¼ cup pine nuts, toasted kosher salt and pepper, to taste
Method Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil and cook the pasta to package instructions, reserving a cup of pasta water before draining.
While that is all coming together, pop the olive oil and butter in a medium pan and saute the chicken, stirring, for about ten minutes, or until cooked through. Add the zucchini and capsicum and cook for a couple of minutes, or until tender. Fold in the garlic, Italian seasoning, lemon zest and juice and cook for another minute.
Add the pasta to the pan and stir until well combined, adding water to thin it out as needed. Stir in the parmesan, pine nutes and parsley, and adjust the seasoning and water to taste and desired consistency.
Serve and then devour, like a damn icon.
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Previously on Canada’s Drag Race 12 queens arrived in the Werk Room, ready to join what I would argue is a pretty iconic winner’s circle. And while we lost the Canadian versions of Trixie and Katya way too soon – as is tradition – it was a hard fought battle before Giselle snatched the crown, joining Icesis and what’s her name? Priyanka, in the winner’s circle. And Ra’Jah, technically. That was then and this is now, as Brooke and Co. are back and are packing a new twist. Which we will learn about later, as first we have a ball. But again, getting ahead of myself here, as we’ve got queens to meet.
First to enter Season 4 is the world’s oldest twink Venus and well, her entry look is kinda horrid, think slutty ice skater in velvet. And then, for reasons, she was forced to exit. Denim was next, serving denim anime goddess and I love everything about her. She too then exited before Kiki Coe arrived serving fashion dragon and fun fact, has made some of the best runways to appear on the show. After she bounced, Luna DuBois arrived giving first-season Lala Ri by way of Mayhem Miller, and I love it. Sisi Superstar arrived giving goth Barabarella, Melinda Verga served pride flag drunk aunt, Kitten Kaboodle arrived to rep as the oldest queen in the franchise and well, I stan, as she seems fun. Nearah Nuff served filler icon, in a Marilyn inspired look that literally fell apart, Aurora Matrix served terracotta warrior-Naomi Smalls realness and ugh, crown her now, I already stan. Then The Girlfriend Experience arrived serving stripper anime and well, I stan her too. Aimee Yonce Shannel dropped by giving red latex showgirl chic and yeah, it was a serve, TBH.
Everyone was then corralled back into the Werk Room at once, for reasons. As they sized each other up or giddily pretended they didn’t tell their besties they were on the season. We then learnt that there was only space in alcoves for three queens, instantly forming cliques with the pretty girls and designers instantly finding their friends. Aurora meanwhile was thrilled to see she wasn’t the only queen of asian descent, I assume because she can’t be a first boot like it seems to be the tradition on the mothership, but I digress.
Speaking of Ru, she dialled in to announce the arrival of Brooke who welcomed her newest daughters into the fold. With the help of Brad and Traci. They then warned the queens that there will be twists and turns all season long. The first being that they would be starring in a ball. And the first category is already done, with the entrance looks judged and delivered. Brooke, Brad and Traci all gave a rosebud to their fave looks so far with Brooke snatching Denim, Aimee beloved by Brad and Traci, for reasons, living for Venus. They then shared that the next category was Shimmering Showgirls, while they would stomp the runway in Me Myself and I, aka best drag.
After the judges left, the rosebuddies celebrated being frontrunners for the win. Though Melinda rightly called out Venus for getting one, given her look was so basic. Thankfully they didn’t fight for long, focusing on prepping for the second category. Sisi and Denim were vibing before Kitten gagged the dolls with her age and the fact she has been doing drag for longer than most of the dolls have been alive.
Aurora kicked off the second category giving geisha showgirl in all the right ways. Luna slayed given slutty Marilyn burlesque, Denim gave harlequin clown, Kitten gave polished puffy showgirl, Kiki leant into classic showgirl and lived her best life while Nearah was an orange delight. Melinda gave us a golden bodysuit, Aimee was stunning in a carnival hot pink bodysuit before Venus gave us something different in emerald green as she stripped. Sisi gave a sexy devil, as she hit her head on a lamp and fell off the couch. The Girlfriend Experience meanwhile was perfection as the Ringmaster before getting fully nude.
Backstage they finally got to dedrag with Aurora and Venus living their twink fantasy, while Kitten was hopeful she would be the mama of the group. Denim tried to make things shady, asking who the dolls think will be in the bottom tomorrow with Sisi and Nearah both admitting they were worried. The latter talking about being concerned their inner saboteur is already hard at work. While Venus and her rosebud were thrilled to slay.
Elimination Day arrived with Tegan and Sara just wandering on to set to welcome the dolls and announce themselves as guest judges and fun fact, they are sisters, not dating. That is Tatu, if anyone else forgot. Oh and Tegan and Sara’s mum is proud of them for guest judging which is cute AF, so maybe I stan. With that gag out of the way, the dolls split up to beat their mugs, with Nearah galvanized to redeem herself with the third runway. Talk turned to their pronouns before they turned their attentions to how politicized drag has become. The Girlfriend Experience opened up about being shamed by Marjorie Taylor Greene, famed thundercunt, leading to death threats and her having to close down her social media to keep herself safe. She and Denim then spoke beautifully about what they’ve gone through as trans people.
Brooke, Brad, Traci, Tegan and Sara took their places on the judges panel as Venus opened the Me Myself and I runway looking perfect as a feathered Carmen Sandieg-ho. Sisi gave Y2K goth chic, Kiki was perfect in pearls as a goddess. Lula gave Mugler CEO, Aurora was a stunning teal dragon, Nearah gave neon rocker Cyndi Lauper and Kitten was a stunning old dame. Aimee was an african queen in blue and orange, while The Girlfriend Experience looked gorgeous in beige ruffles. Melinda gave golden glam right out of Studio 54 while Denim was an udderly ridiculous clown cow.
Aurora, Aimee, Luna, Kitten and TGE were deemed safe and shipped backstage to untuck before Venus received universal praise for each and every look. And most importantly for giving diversity, polish and turning a damn show every time she hit the floor. Despite her entry look being so basic, to me. Sisi was praised for looking good not great, though read for being awkward, given they couldn’t tell if she was deliberately trying to bomb the performance in look two. Kiki was beloved for giving three stunning looks, gagging the judges with the fact she makes all her looks. Though Traci wanted her to give some life in her mug. Nearah was read for not being able to work through the fuck-ups in the first two looks, thought they loved the third look for being so damn fun. Though Brad was worried she could only sell corset. Melinda was all energy as the judges read her for not being able to sell any of her concepts, while Denim received 10s across the board.
The tops and bottoms joined the safe girls, with Venus proudly telling them she was completely beloved by the judges. Picking up that not everyone was so happy for her. Denim too was proud to receive top marks, while Kitten just assumed Kiki was a top. Sisi tried to pretend she was beloved, delighting her sisters with the fact she was having fun despite being in the bottom. Denim thanked her for being such a light in their community, no doubt assuming she would be going home. Nearah accepted she didn’t do her best, so agreed with their critiques, while Melinda was sure it would be her lip syncing with Sisi. Venus asked her to explain to the dolls why she has been struggling thus far, with Melinda sharing that her partner had a mini stroke just before she left and watching everyone rally around her was just beautiful, TBH.
Ultimately Kiki was sent to safety, followed by Nearah before Brooke announced the next gag, explaining nobody would be going home tonight and instead, the top two would be lip syncing for the win. That obviously meant Melinda and Sisi were safe, leaving Denim and Venus to battle to Feel it in My Bones by Tiësto feat. Tegan and Sara. And while the song is an absolute bop – remember, I’m a Tegan and Sara stan now, ok? – the lip sync was kinda one sided as Venus is a damn star. Denim was cute, fun and absolutely in her lane, but Venus had that fire that you just couldn’t look away from. And as such, she rightly took out the first win of the season. And I will stop bitching about the entry look.
Backstage the dolls were gagged, gooped and absolutely delighted that nobody went home, while Venus was just delighted to have been able to win the lip sync in front of Tegan and Sara themselves. Sisi and Melinda were thrilled to be safe, with Sisi now ready to redeem herself. While The Girlfriend Experience just wanted them all to lift up the seat when going to the bathroom, as she was sick of sitting on piss.
The next day Melinda appeared to be perked up after her near exit, while Venus was just proud to have done the thing. Angela Basset style. Everyone laughed about how they kinda wanted everyone to go home, while Kitten, bless, was just looking forward to improving incrementally because she is old and wise. So, mother. Brooke dropped by to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge, the doll’s would host QVShe episodes, selling the best and brightest products Brooke kindly provided. Shades, ponchos, ugly flats and pocket bras. And given Brooke is messy, she let them pick their groups with TGE, Aurora and Venus forming one, Nearah, Luna and Aimee another, and Sisi, Kiki and Denim the last trio, leaving Kitten and Melinda to be the only duo. Venus then stole the bra for her group, Nearah went with the poncho, Kitten got the flats and Sisi grabbed the sunnies.
Everyone split up to work through their presentations, with Denim spiralling about having a comedy challenge in week two. Nearah and Luna were worried about Aimee having English as a second language and how they could help her shine. Melinda meanwhile was cut the dolls didn’t want them. Oh and TGE was doing the old man voice from Family Guy and just like that, the dolls had a plan. Sisi meanwhile was swinging for the fences, coming up with lots of camp ideas to stand out and work her way up, while Denim worried she was fading. Kitten and Melinda meanwhile were completely zen, being silly and planning to have fun and yes and their way through, making everyone else a little nervous. Nearah meanwhile was hating her partners, while Aimee worried they kept patronising her when she wants to be taken seriously and is this just going to be a mess?
After quickly beating their mugs the dolls went to set where Denim, Sisi and Kiki got to work selling the shit out of the shade blocker goggles. And by selling the shit out of it, they bombed within 30s and yeah, it was hard to watch. Sisi in particular, despite the fact she was cracking herself up. Melinda and Kitten were the polar opposite, giving cohesion, polish and nailing the assignment. Making all the dolls laugh and wish they didn’t assume the oldies would bomb. Venus, Aurora and The Girlfriend Experience kept things good as Venus and Aorora nailed their southern girl schtick, until The Girlfriend Experience just stopped after coming out of the gate strong. As she kept breaking and left the others to carry her. Nearah, Luna and Aimee then closed the show, bombing, try as Nearah and Aimee might.
Elimination Day arrived with Denim putting all her hopes on her runway saving her, while Kitten and Melinda were thrilled to prove themselves and singlehandedly carry the challenge. While Denim and Co hilariously owned bombing, Nearah, Luna and Aimee bickered over who was the reason for their predicament. After splitting up to beat their mugs, The Girlfriend Experience asked Kitten about the first time she saw drag, leading to a beautiful history lesson. Talk turned to terminology, with Denim and The Girlfriend Experience helping everyone make sure they aren’t offending anyone and ugh, it was sweet. Venus meanwhile asked if anyone was across the Canadian queer history with them admitting they kinda have no clue, accept for Aimee who had to learn to pass her citizenship and of course. Because if we learnt anything from Hamilton, it is that only immigrants get the job done.
Brooke, Brad and Traci were joined by the current pucking reigning, Ra’Jah D O’Hara on the panel and ugh, I love her so. On the Gemstones runway, Sisi Superstar gave purple people eater come queen cosplayer. Kiki was a gloriously emerald glamazonian, Denim served iridescent bluebottle, while Kitten gave warrior queen and looked good and Melinda gave ice queen realness. Venus was a slay in a diamond encrusted bodysuit, complete with diamond headpiece. The Girlfriend Experience was a gloriously pearled ethereal beauty, Aurora was a stunning jade goddess, Luna gave slutty Tigger, Nearah gave rhinestone cowgirl who became the CEO, in red before Aimee closed the show in a shimmering sapphire gown which I can’t tell whether is good or an absolute mess.
Sisi, Kitten, Melinda, Venus, TGE and Luna were deeed the tops and bottoms of the week, though Brooke warned the safe girls some got lucky there could only be three bottoms. Sisi was praised for improving her look, though still read for being a mess. And that was before they got to the challenge, given the judges hated literally everything she did. Kitten was absolutely beloved – as she deserves – for the challenge while everyone also lived for the look. Melinda too received top marks for both portions, though Ra’Jah cautioned her to have fun on the runway. Venus’ runway was the best of the week, though the judges equally loved the character she brought to the challenge. TGE’s runway was glorious, though the judges wished she gave more presentation. While her performance in the challenge gave the judges blue balls. While Luna was read for filth for the challenge, though her runway was deemed fun.
Kitten was then announced the winner of this week’s challenge and told that as the winner, she would hold the power of the Golden Beaver which saves one of the bottoms from lip syncing. With that, they ventured backstage to untuck and loop in the other queens and let’s just say, they were gagged and ready to make lots of new friends. TGE started to breakdown about being in the bottom, leading to Venus giving her a huge peptalk. Luna meanwhile was zen about it, while Sisi admitted she was gutted to be in the bottom yet again and how triggering it was for her. Kitten then asked the dolls to pitch why they should be beavered, with TGE begging through tears. Luna was poised as she calmly spoke about needing to be here while Sisi said it was fair for her to be in the bottom and as such, shouldn’t be saved.
They returned to the mainstage were Kitten got her beaver out and promptly saved TGE, leaving Luna and Sisi to battle for the last spot. As Avril’s I’m With You kicked off both dolls leant into the emotion of the song and ugh, this is taking me back to High School. Sisi slayed the lip sync while Luna was kinda subdued, which it seems like the judges wanted, as she was saved, leaving Sisi to become the Juice Boxx of the season. While Sisi was gutted to go home so soon, I quickly pulled her in for a hug and assured her that her two episode run, specifically falling off the couch, is iconic. So taking that and the fact she is the first boot, she will always be beloved. And that was all it took to cheer her up, as we toasted an epic career with a fresh Couscousisi Superstalad.
This little number is gloriously herby and oh so sweet, swiftly putting an end to the no-friends-with-salad discourse. Though given (pearl) couscous is involved, is it really a shock?
Enjoy!
Couscousisi Superstalad Serves: 8.
Ingredients 1 ½ cups pearl couscous kosher salt and pepper, to taste ¼ cup olive oil 1 tsp Dijon mustard ½ tsp honey 1 lemon, zested and juiced ¼ cup parsley, roughly chopped 2 tbsp mint, roughly chopped 2 tbsp dill, roughly chopped ½ cup cherry tomatoes, quartered ½ cup chargrilled capsicum, roughly chopped
Method Bring a pot of salted water to the boil and once rolicking, add the couscous and cook for 10 minutes, or until tender. Drain and leave to cool slightly.
While that is on the go, combine the oil, mustard, honey, zest and juice with a good whack of salt and pepper.
Transfer the couscous to a bowl, toss through the dressing, herbs, tomatoes and chargrilled capsicum and devour. Like an icon.
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Previously on Australian Survivor as the original Spice Girls decreed, two became one, as the Heroes and Villains came together to form a single tribe. With Simon once again all alone on the bottom. Flick was thrilled to reunite with her bestie Shaun and while she initially wanted to protect the Spice Girls as payback, she ultimately decided to stick Heroes strong after Shaun reminded them they have more than enough numbers to take over. Sadly for them, George roped in Hayley and his former nemesis Simon to take control. After David sketched out Liz by the well, she decided to play her idol for Shonee, though didn’t need to, as David himself was booted from the game. As Shonee whispered to George that Flick is finished and ugh, I have goosebumps.
Back at camp Matt pulled everyone together to admit that he was the one that flipped, with Hayley quickly jumping in to say that she also made the jump to make sure they both got the credit come final tribal council. As Sam and Co. tried to wrap their heads around things, they kept taking little shots at the OG Heroes with George and Shonee iconically telling him to stop undermining their decision to play for themselves. The new power alliance then opted for a trip to the hammock – since the Heroes wouldn’t let them use it the day before – where Matt giggled about being an evil vixen, while Simon was happy to finally have friends again and ugh, is nature healing? Because when Matt suggested they call their alliance the Vigilantes to steal Nina’s suggested tribe name, I almost flooded my basement.
While the four Heroes stood quietly in the dark and sulked.
The next day Shiz were talking about their disappointment that Flick broke the girl code, likening it to a messy breakup. As such, they pulled Flick aside to find out what they did to upset her and while she explained she was just trying to save herself the night before, it obviously meant nothing to them. Though while they accepted the apology, Shonee was still out for blood and if All Stars is anything to go by, Flick is in trouble. Sam, Nina and Shaun meanwhile were busy trying to figure out how to get out of the mess of their own making and while Sam suggested they need an idol, Shaun smartly mentioned they need another way. As such, they decided that Simon was their best option to flip again, so they put Flick to work on winning him back. Or somehow win four immunities for the upcoming tribal.
George, Simon and Matt caught up by the well, with George thanking Simon for putting their issues aside and working together and well, it was wholesome and I love it. Particularly since Simon finally feels like he has friends. Hang on, maybe I don’t love Simon because he still wants to work with Shaun. Given he has lingering uncertainty about whether he can trust the Spice Girls, he caught up with Sam and Flick to talk about how shocked he is to have an alliance while Sam tried to act like he was happy for him to have some power. With Simon reiterating he is ready to make moves at the right time and aligning with George proves he can bury the hatchet, which kinda gives them some hope without saying anything. And again, do I now love Simon?
The tribe joined Jonathan on a beach for the latest immunity challenge where they would each have to hold a barrel containing 40% of their body weight with the last one standing winning. After ten minutes, Shonee asked Shaun how much weight would be in his barrel before George dropped out of nowhere. While Shonee started to struggle, she managed to hold on another 25 minutes before she dropped out. As Shonee and George kikied about getting rid of Flick, the rest of the tribe clocked up an hour before JLP told everyone they had to drop down to only one hand, costing Nina, Gerry and Shaun straight away. Sam was next to go, followed by Flick as Shonee praised her allies for outlasting the Heroes. And while Liz started to celebrate, Shonee told her to cut out the funny business and focus. Matt and Simon then dropped out, leaving Hayley and Liz to face off with Hayley dropping out of nowhere after another 20 minutes, handing the Olympian immunity.
With Flick quickly jumping in to congratulate the girls on being so strong. Which will not save you babes, I’m sorry.
Back at camp George obviously called his allies aside for a pow wow as the 4 Heroes skulked off to the well to figure out if there was anything they could do. George assured the Vigilantes that the only way they don’t make it to the top seven, is if something goes catastrophically wrong. They locked Flick as the target and while Simon suggested they need to split the vote in case of an idol. Everyone explained that they don’t have the numbers to make it work, with George going on step further and pointing out he or Shonee would be the target anyway so let them take the risk. He assured us that while he still doesn’t trust Simon 100%, he will be watching him like a hawk. The Heroes went person to person trying to figure out who the target is in the hope of saving themselves with an idol, though the Vigilantes would not budge. As such, they decided to load their votes on Matt to spook him a little and not upset anyone in power, while Shaun awkwardly danced around having an idol in the hope of them finding a second one to save the group. Given he is holding on to his, to play at the right time to save himself.
While Flick spent hours hunting around the hidden idol, she gave up and decided she needed to at least talk to Simon about making a move on George. She reminded him that the Spice Girls are a solid four, meaning nine is the latest they can make a move to beat them. Shonee meanwhile was watching on, talking to Hayley about how Flick could easily convince Simon to make a move just for the sake of it. Thankfully though, he checked in with Hayley who was super reassuring, reminding him that they want to get rid of more of the alphas first before trying anything and as such, it makes sense to hold firm for now. Hayley was then pulled aside by Shaun, who tried to guilt her into sharing who the target was, with her expertly not budging or even offering assurance. Leading him to speculate to us whether it was a smart decision to actually play the idol for himself or Flick, given she is his number one.
At tribal council Sam spoke about how shocked he was after the previous tribal council, though also knew he couldn’t really do much, before throwing out that nothing that happened at the last tribal council changed anyone’s place for those that flipped. Which drew an audible gasp from George, who pointed out that they are now on the winning ship and that ship has set sail, whether the OG Heroes like it or not. Shaun tried to point out that he is just in a bit of a trough, but the game is all about peaks and valleys with Simon agreeing that his game has only been ups and downs, though he is glad to be working with George and being part of the conversation now.
George pointed out that you should never close the door on any options, or at least, that is how the Vigilantes roll. Which annoyed the hell out of Nina that the tribe name she suggested was co-opted for the alliance working against her. Flick tried to pretend she was swap screwed with George whispering about the fact she actually had a numbers advantage, so that’s a lie. While she doubled down on the fact she was upsetting someone either way she went, which Shonee called bullshit on given she was the one leading the charge against Shiz, which makes it all the more hurtful. Particularly since Liz was willing to use her idol to save her. This clearly got Shaun thinking about doing the same as Matt pointed out he was in the same situation as Flick at the previous tribal, though clearly made the right choice. And well, now one of Flick, Nina, Sam and Shaun are drowning and they don’t have a lifesaver on their side. Which feels extra savage and I love that for him.
With that the tribe voted before Shaun proved himself a little more selfish than the Villains – or well, Liz – as he held on to his idol as his closest ally Flick was shown the door. Though hey, at least she has now been the final juror and the Queen of the Jury in her Survivor career. As she arrived at the Jury Villa, I pulled her in for a hug and reminded her that while I am firmly team Shiz, I was rooting for her and love how effortlessly she plays the social game. Plus, she is sensible and not bitter, meaning we should be lucky enough to have a fair jury on our hands with no toxicity with her as the Queen. Leaving me nothing more to do than toast her success and her new reign with a piping hot bowl of Flick Paellmateer.
While I forgo any of the seafood additions which are commonly placed in a paella, this is still a smokey, salty delight. The rich, spiced tomato bathes the al dente rice, working with the sweet meats to warm your soul and wash away any disappointment.
Enjoy!
Flick Paellmateer Serves: 4.
Ingredients 1 tbsp olive oil 1 onion, diced 5 garlic cloves, minced 1 carrot, cut into rings ½ a bunch flat-leaf parsley, leaves and stalks roughly chopped separately 500g chicken thighs, diced 250g chorizo, cut into rings 2 tsp hot smoked paprika 1 capsicum, sliced 300g paella rice 2 tbsp tomato purée 3 cups chicken stock kosher salt and pepper, to taste 100g peas 1 lemon, for squeezin’ at the end
Method Heat the oil in a dutch oven – or paella pan, ideally – over medium heat and add the onion, garlic and carrot. Cook for a couple of minutes before stirring in the parsley stalks, chicken, chorizo and paprika. Cook for another five minutes or so before stirring in the capsicum and cooking until soft and sweet. About five minutes.
Add the rice and tomato purée to the pan and stir for a couple of minutes, until the rice is coated in all the juices. Stir in the stock and a good whack of salt and pepper, bring to the boil and reduce heat to low to simmer for about 15 minutes. Once reduced, stir in the peas and cook for a further few minutes, or until cooked through.
Adjust seasoning and serve with a good sprinkle of parsley leaves and a squeeze of lemon juice, before devouring.
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Previously on Australian Survivor Gerry joined the Villains as a spy, though after being welcomed so warmly, he embraced his new tribe and well, rose to the top with George and Shiz. After the Heroes narrowly took out immunity – thanks to Benjamin and Paige slaying with some signing to stealthily solve the puzzle – Simon was ready to finally take the shot on George, given he has an immunity idol – lol – and a group of allies behind him to seize power. Sadly, Shonee realised she, Liz and George couldn’t trust Sarah and as such, whipped everyone into a frenzy to take out the swing vote instead of taking a shot, Sarah, who definitely didn’t push Miss Greece down the stairs.
The next day the Heroes were talking about how small their tribe feels without Gerry, while Sharni in particular was still annoyed at how things played out. Despite Sharni loving the idea of playing with loyalty, I live for how annoyed she is at the tribe. Realising she was annoyed, Sam checked in with her with Sharni talking about how desperately she was hoping Gerry survived, knowing it spoke to how strong a game he can play. And how kind he is.
Speaking of Gerry, he was living his best life at the Villains camp, smashing some rice in awe of the waves on their beach. And TBH, he did not really want to go back to his old tribe anymore, given they are so kind and he just clicked with Shonee, Liz and George. This glorious foursome were hunting for wood as Gerry grew more and more nervous about returning to the Heroes, given they stitched him up. Despite the initial purpose being to get goss for the Heroes, he pointed out to his new besties – he is Old Spice in the alliance, FYI – that Simon needs to go ASAP as if he makes the swap, he will immediately align with the alphas running the Heroes and as such, he is down to get rid of him. Though sadly George spoke about it in front of Simon.
As Simon prepared to go for a swim, he could barely hide his disdain for George who was trying to make conversation. As he was chilling out, Liz called his bestie Jordie over to point out what happened, with him realising that his ally is getting way too toxic for the tribe. And that night under the cover of darkness, Jordie and George caught up about how to navigate the escalating tensions, while Jordie shared with us that now just might be the time to play Simon and George off against each other and give the rest of them a break.
The tribes reconvened with Jonathan for the immunity challenge where the Heroes were delighted to see Gerry had survived the previous tribal council. Well, until JLP got cheeky and offered him the choice between sticking with the Villains and returning to the Heroes in which case they got super awkward, until he opted to return to them. While the Villains were left reeling, Jonathan explained that to win immunity they would face off in trios to push a ball into a goal in the water with the first tribe to two securing victory. First up were Shiz and Simon opposite Flick, Hayley and Shaun, with the Heroes obviously taking out the first point, despite some heroic fighting from Shonee. As George whispered from the sidelines that Simon’s desire to face Shaun is hurting their chances. Jordie, Fraser and George then faced off against Sam, David and Matt with the Heroes quickly scoring immunity despite some epic fighting from George. As Steviemuttered about getting rid of George on the sidelines.
Back at camp the tribe spoke about how disappointed they were to lose Gerry before everything descended into absolute chaos. Simon’s faction were thrilled to be able to take out their biggest nemesis, George. With Simon feeling particularly confident, given he has the idol – he doesn’t – and a loyal bestie in Jordie – debatable. He caught up with Stevie who was thrilled to jump on board getting rid of George while Simon coached him on how to sell his desire to get rid of him to Shiz and George. After thanking Stevie for protecting him after all he has done to protect him, Stevie came up with some codes before they split up to scramble. Stevie went to George to tell him how he is over Simon bossing him around, while Simon caught up with Shiz who questioned why George and Stevie were even talking.
Jordie meanwhile continued to question what is the best path forward given Simon is abrasive and rubbing everyone the wrong way. He approached Fraser and outlined everything, telling him that they now have a decision to make. Ready to lock in with George and Shiz – knowing that joining the alpha alliance would be his undoing – Jordie told them about Simon’s idol, telling them they need to make sure he has no clue about the vote to guarantee he doesn’t play it. After getting Fraser over the line, the group locked in their plan as Liz worried about Simon crying once he is blindsided with an idol. Again. Feeling uber confident, Simon then caught up with George to assure him that he knows they need each other and that Stevie will be going home tonight.
While Shiz spoke about how much they are looking forward to Simon going home.
At tribal council George spoke about how disappointed he was that Gerry left them, despite the Heroes voting him out previously. That being said, he accepts the fact he felt safer amongst a tribe of athletes that consistently win challenges. Which obviously annoyed Simon. As George spoke about wanting to focus on getting rid of the weak, Simon angrily told him he can’t exactly vote for himself, while George calmly thanked him for calling him weak. Liz spoke about being sick of the tension, while Stevie felt something needed to be done while Jordie cautioned everyone needed to come together otherwise they will all be screwed. George meanwhile spoke about how much he achieved in his first seasons and as such, he doesn’t feel like he needs to build a legacy because he already has one while not every returnee can say that.
Growing more irate, Simon sassed out George, asking why he doesn’t want to win, rubbing salt in his wounds for Hayley beating him. Jordie grew more and more exasperated, assuring everyone to trust in the last conversations they had, with Shonee agreeing it was for the best. As they seemingly tried to wrap things up, JLP decided to throw a spanner in the works, announcing that tonight’s tribal council will be a little different as while they are still booting someone from the game, it won’t happen until after they have competed in a little individual immunity challenge.
With that Jonathan and the Villains relocated to a field outside tribal council where they would each race to build poles long enough to release a flint from a post before building a fire big enough to burn through a rope. Simon quickly built his pole, though failed to release his flint as he and George started to bicker. While quietly working away, Shonee made her first attempt before failing as Simon tried again and jagged his flint. As George and Shiz looked ready to murder him, Liz quietly cheered on Jordie, willing him to close the gap and keep the plan from falling apart. Though it was all for nothing as Simon built a large fire and jagged immunity, while George turned his attention to scrambling. As Simon tried to squeak out a tear over how proud he is to win immunity.
After returning to tribal council, George and Shiz went to one corner of tribal council while the rest of the tribe went to another. George told Shiz to join the boys and act like he is going home, while he intended to create war and chaos amongst them. When Shiz approached them however, Simon loudly told them all to go sit down and open it up to the floor instead. While Liz requested he calm down. Simon spoke about his pride at having immunity, particularly since he knows he was likely copping votes tonight. George piped up and said that he was told that Stevie was going home, meaning the plan had clearly changed multiple times. Stevie said that came as a shock to him, while George asked Simon why he was told that plan.
Simon said that he told multiple people different things to keep things from blowing up, while George doubled down on how much Simon throws out way too many options. Stevie questioned why Simon threw out his name ahead of the second tribal council, while Simon desperately tried to assure him they were close and how much he values their friendship. George pointed out that Simon’s attitude shows he takes the game way too personally and he really needs to correct if he wants to last much further. Before ominously pointing out that the numbers will speak loudest tonight.
The groups split up to lock in their plans, with George filling Shiz in on the fact he has an idol and that he will be playing it but making things as uncomfortable as possible before the votes are read. While Simon forced the boys to lock in on George. After returning to their seats, Simon attempted to apologise to Shonee and Liz, with the later pointing out he clearly has no respect for them or their games before he and George grew more and more hostile with each other. That led to Jordie jumping in and reminding them that this is a game and it is meant to be fun, rather than them speaking to each other like absolute trash. To which Jonathan agreed, as George ominously shared that he is looking forward to a little bit of fun.
With that the tribe voted – Simon of all people telling George to treat people with respect – as George pulled out his idol as the last person – Stevie – stood up to vote, leading to laughter from Jordie and Fraser as Simon asked him who was going home, then. He then started taunting Simon, asking if he would be playing his idol to save Stevie and prove whether he is a hero or a villain. Sadly he took it one step further though, pointing out that Jordie is coming for him and told everyone about his idol. Which is worse than what Dani did in their first season, given Jordie pretends to be his bestie. He then told Simon to play his idol for Stevie and prove he is good, before Simon asked Jordie what was true. Jordie admitted to everything, knowing the numbers were against him and shared that he voted against Stevie.
George then double down, telling Simon his smartest move was to play the idol for Stevie and guarantee that one of the people that have been disloyal to him goes home and wake up tomorrow in power with him and Shiz, a clean slate between them and the knowledge that he only has one more traitor to get rid of before they swap. Simon held firm, pointing out that somebody needs to go while George turned his attention to Stevie, apologising and pointing out he desperately wanted to wake up with him tomorrow morning. Simon then offered a heartfelt apology to Stevie who was flabbergasted that Simon had turned on him while George pointed out that he will know who he can trust when he wakes up the next morning.
Which should have been a clue that all was not as it seems as two votes piled up on George – which did not count – and a pair came in for Stevie before George, Shonee and Liz’s votes piled up on Fraser. Brilliantly ruining Simon’s game and locking in Stevie as a number for George. And ugh, it was hard to watch for most of the time, but that was an epic tribal council. As was Stevie telling Simon they are not friends as he tried to apologise.
By the time Fraser arrived at Loser Lodge he was relieved to be away from the drastically escalating tensions, disappointed to be out of the game and a teeny tiny bit excited to be the person going home after such a memorable tribal council. I pulled him in for a hug and assured him that there was honestly nothing he could have done amidst the chaos that had unfolded over the course of the night and as such, he should still be proud of the game he had played. Oh and of course, rest easy knowing that being the person eliminated after the biggest tribal council of the series pretty much guarantees him a second shot. Which cheered him up almost as much as the piping hot Frasausage Melack I whipped up.
While I know a melt is nothing more than a toasted sandie, there is something so soothing about them that I instantly put them on a pedestal over a classic toastie. Though maybe it is because they focus even more heavily on cheese, which is essentially my personality and life at this point. Add in a little sausage and you know I’m in heaven.
Enjoy!
Frasausage Melack Serves: 4.
Ingredients 1 tbsp olive oil 2 onions, thinly sliced 1 red capsicum, seeded and sliced 2 tsp chilli flakes salt and pepper, to taste 500g Italian sausage, casings removed 8 slices sourdough ¼ cup Shayonnaise Swain 1 cup provolone cheese 1 cup mozzarella cheese ¼ cup butter
Method Pop the oil in a large skillet over medium heat and saute the onions and capsicums for about ten minutes, or until nice and soft. Add the chilli flakes, season and cook for a further minute or so before removing from the heat.
Shape the sausage meat into four thin patties and add to the still hot pan and cook for a couple of minutes each side until cooked. Remove from heat and wipe out the pan.
To assemble the sandwiches, smear the mayo on each slice of bread before dividing half the cheeses on four of the slices. Top with the onion and capsicum, followed by the patties and the rest of the cheese. Close the sandwiches with the remaining bread and smear some butter on the top of each.
Pop the clean skillet over medium heat again and place the sandwiches buttered side down on the pan and cook for a few minutes. Butter the tops of the sandwiches before flipping and cooking for a further couple of minutes. Serve immediately, cut in half of course, and devour.
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