Desmopolitan Quilty

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor (2016), Drink

After a decade long hiatus, Australian Survivor finally made a return to the our screens.

Channel 10 bravely took up the mantle hoping to make an improvement on the dismal seasons produced by 9 and 7 … which isn’t hard given that the first season’s first boot voted herself out in blatant disregard of the rules and the second robbed its rightful final two of a win.

Anyway, rant over … for now.

We started with my ex-lover’s little brother welcoming the contestants to the island with a rugged, island sex appeal second only to Jeff Probst – obviously Skarsy as Tarsy counts as jungle in this ranking. So at this point, the season is off to a good start.

Team that with the beautiful production value, interesting challenges – who could forget the first season’s nail biting guess the time challenge! – and the use of Ancient Voices and I am quietly confident in the season, even without my on location support.

My little Jon Jon didn’t waste time putting that sensuality to test, throwing the tribes straight into their first challenge harkening back to the days of snakes, rats, nudity and casual homophobia in Borneo with a quest for fire … which also included my challenge wet dream – a mid game choice for supplies before going for the fire.

We spent a lot of time bouncing around between the tribes getting to know the castaways starting with Aganoa where Kat, my favourite of the first twenty minutes, took her island wardrobe seriously in head-to-toe Resort Report much to the chagrin of my walking stereotype Des.

Over on Vavau they weren’t exactly sure what was happening, leaving the poor high school teacher to corral the tribe to keep them all alive. While on Saanapu they were concerned about making fire, despite having just won it. Thankfully we were introduced to Kylie who made the shame of their misguided concern disappear. (Kylie FTW).

We spent the remainder of the episode watching the many failings of Aganoa with Des refusing to help, their camp being washed out by a wave and then a disaster in the challenge – again involving Des – leading to their unsurprising trip to tribal council.

Once there Des and Kat’s feud intensified resulting in Des’ strategy to be useless for the first two days and to become helpful the morning of tribal council to backfire, resulting in him being the first person voted off the island.

I first met Des about five years ago when I ran a courier parcel theft scam in Brisbane, stealing items out of other courier’s trucks and holding them ransom. While I was quite successful, it was Des who ended up catching me and getting me sent to prison.

As you know, I am reticent to hold a grudge when someone dobs me in – it comes with the territory of a scam filled life – and Des was so sweet, visiting me in prison and working to help me get my life back on track.

Despite him really having no one else to blame after not letting his tribe see that softer side, I still felt the need to  – probably because I was being housed in luxury digs on Channel Ten’s purse – whip him up a Desmopolitan as he ran into my loving, drunken embrace.

 

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While he was a bit annoyed that his drink is better suited to Kat and the rest of the cafe latte set in Manly, he appreciated the joke … and the generous way I pour my booze.

Enjoy! Who will be joining me tonight?

 

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Desmopolitan Quilty
Makes: 1.

Ingredients
2 shots vodka
1 shot Cointreau
1 tsp lime juice
½ cup cranberry juice
crushed ice, to serve

Method
Shake vodka, Cointreau, lime and cranberry juice in a cocktail shaker. Strain into an iced glass. Garnish with a segment of lime. Devour and go again … responsibly, obvs.

 

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Carrie Fisher’n’Chips

Main, Seafood

Oh my goodness – my stomach is in agony! No i’m not into some odd masturbatory technique, I just haven’t stopped laughing for the last 24 hours.

It was such a treat to have Carrie over and reenact a good / funny version of SaTC with the part of New York dutifully played by my kitchen / television.

As you know, we met in rehab and were bonded instantly due the fact we were both poised to be celebrated writers and we had complex relationships with our Hollywood mothers. While my issues stemmed from the fact that I was generally running a scam at their expense, Carrie grew up in the limelight of the Reynolds-Fisher dynasty and drama which gave her a very different childhood … and me a reason to befriend her to get to Debs to form an alliance against Liz.

Obviously she stole two of her husbands from me … but that is another story for another time.

So back on track, I quickly ingratiated myself with the Reynolds-Fishers (often despite Caz’s better judgement) and have been a confidante to Caz ever since, filling each other’s lives with so much joy and laughter.

I can’t say enough about how beautiful and close our friendship is.

As I mentioned and I’m sure Star TrekWars fans would be aware, Caz just wrapped on the latest movie and was completely pooped so relished the opportunity to pull up a seat next to me in our twin recliners and make sassy, forced, attention grabbing statements about the semi-clad swimmers who were dutifully flooding our basements.

To get us in the mood – or to be more accurate, out of it – I whipped up a batch of her favourite / my famous Carrie Fisher’n’Chips.

 

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I assume I’ve mentioned it ad nauseam, if not, I fucking hate seafood. Hate it. I mean, they live in their filth (even though someone rightfully argued that they live in a purifying saline solution). Anyway, Carrie loves a good ole Fish and Chips and given that she just wrapped her time in London, I had to make something to help her acclimate back into the real world.

With that, I went heavy with the chilli, lemon and lime to drown the flavour of fish and served it with crispy chips and a delightful harissa mayo that had me *shudder* liking seafood.

Enjoy!

 

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Carrie Fisher’n’Chips
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
8 pieces of hoki portions (I hate seafood, of course I’m going to buy pre-portioned)
2 eggs, whisked
1 cup plain flour
2 cups panko breadcrumbs
¼ cup flat-leaf parsley, finely chopped
1 tbsp chilli flakes
zest of one lime
vegetable oil
One serve of the chips from Friza Minnelli … I don’t think the Dolognese would help the chips

Harissa mayo
1 clove of garlic, finely minced
3 tbsp mayonnaise
4 tsp harissa paste
1 ½ tsp rose water

Tartare
1 cup mayonnaise
zest of one lemon
2 tsp capers, drained, finely chopped
2 gherkins, finely chopped
2 tbsp flat-leaf parsley, chopped

Method
Probs make a start on the chips first. Then when they are in the oven, whisk the eggs in a shallow bowl, the flour in a second shallow bowl and combine the breadcrumbs, parsley, chilli and lime in the third shallow bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper.

Dry the hoki pieces with some paper towel. Working piece by piece, coat the fish in the flour, dip in the egg and coat in the crumb. Rest on a plate and continue until they are all sorted.

Heat a good lug of vegetable oil in a large frying pan over medium heat, when it is nice and hot reduce the heat to low and fry two pieces at a time, 4-5 minutes per side. Remove to some paper towel and repeat until the fish is sorted.

Turn off the oven when the chips are done and place the fish on the lower shelf to keep warm while you quickly whip up the sauces … which are super easy. Place all the ingredients in separate bowls – obviously – and stir to combine.

Serve up the fish and chips with a fat dollop of the sauces and the cut up zested citrus. Devour.

 

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Michael Flatley Bread

Baking, Bread, Side, Snack

While I know this may shock a lot of you but Michael Flatley is the best Irish dancer in the world (Sharon Strzelecki is a character and therefore ineligible).

Well was.

As you know, Flats broke all of his bones or something – surprisingly I wasn’t involved in anything to cause it – and had to hang up the dancing shoes.

I want to call them clogs, I know they aren’t clogs, but I so desperately want them to be clogs. Could you imagine an Irish dance with people wearing clogs – majestic! Like Bootmen, but less boges.

With Flats off his feet, I decided to reach out and surprisingly he took my call despite the years of smearing his name and character in the tabloids.

(And Heather Mills thought she had bad press).

Anyway, Flats said he only took my call as retirement was making him feel nostalgic for the good old days – when hair was big, we were friends and the dance fiery.

It took a while to warm Flats up to me again but it is always hard to ignore my epic, extended apologies … particularly when they involve dance and end with it raining Michael Flatley Bread.

 

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Like our relationship once was, these breads are warm, soft, spicy and comforting. It is bread, need I say anything more? Delicious!

Enjoy!

 

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Michael Flatley Bread
Makes: 8.

Ingredients
3 cups plain flour
2 ⅓ tbsp baking powder
3 cups natural yoghurt
1 tbsp chilli flakes
zest of 1 lime

Method
Mix all the ingredients together in a bowl with a good pinch of salt.

When it comes together, remove to a floured surface and knead for a couple of minutes. Divide the dough into eight pieces and roll into 2mm thick circles.

Place a skillet over medium heat, brush with olive oil and cook each for 2-3 minutes, turning once or until they are golden and crisp. Devour … alone with something. But what ..?

 

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Condoleezza Rice and Beans

Side, Snack

What a day to catch up with Condy! Despite our different political views, joining together to watch Hillary become the first woman secure to a major party’s presidential nomination in the US was so exciting for feminist, political scientists like us.

As you know, Condoleezza and I first connected in university and have stayed in close contact ever since. Yes, GBJ is the worst but that shouldn’t take away from the brilliant mind and kind heart that Condy possesses.

I haven’t shared much about my past in politics but amongst my stints in rehab, the arrests and my fluctuating periods of fame, I became a fierce political animal and have been involved in all major political decisions in the US, the EU, Canada and the Cook Islands in the past three decades, in an advisory or dictatorial capacity.

But a great political mind like mine can’t do it alone and that is where Condy and I work so well together, discussing the issues and generally being dominant bosses.

I hadn’t seen Condy since the email scandal broke – full disclosure, I told Hizza to use her personal email AND dob in Condy and Colly – and was a bit nervous about how my betrayal would be received.

I was also very nervous as I hadn’t brushed up on my Russian and that is the only language we communicate in. Again, like bosses.

Thankfully I had nothing to worry about with Condy giving me the warmest of embraces when she arrived, so excited to watch the results roll in / discuss War and Peace, again / devour a bowl of our college era favourite, Condoleezza Rice & Beans.

 

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Being a poor student, you have to get creative with your meals if you want to eat well. I had just come off a stint coaching the Jamaican bobsled team to victory – yes, I inspired Cool Runnings – when I connected with Condy, so I was very into creole flavours.

The rice and beans are brought together with the silkiness of the coconut milk and the sharp kick of spices. Condoleecious!

 

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Condoleezza Rice & Beans
Serves: 2 pals, or 4-6 as a side.

Ingredients
400ml coconut milk
1 jalapeno, finely sliced
3 spring onions, sliced
2 tsp salt
1 tbsp creole spice (who doesn’t trust Emeril?)
4 garlic cloves, crushed
3 sprigs thyme, leaves removed
1½ cups brown rice, rinsed, drained
400g kidney beans, rinsed, drained
lime, quartered to garnish and taste

Method
Place coconut milk in a large saucepan with a cup of water, the chilli, spring onions and salt, and bring to the boil.

Add the creole spice, garlic, thyme leaves, rice and kidney beans, cover, reduce heat to low and simmer for 20 minutes or until the rice is tender.

Remove from the heat, season with a whack of pepper and squeeze of lime and devour.

Or serve it with … well that is another catch-up for another time.

 

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Mai Tai Trang

Drink, Survivor: Kaôh Rōng

After Cyd went out in, well technically without, flames, we returned to camp – after spending a bit of time with Cyd’s buff mum – where Aubry discussed her ability to pull it out and Michele was concerned about Tai’s decision to save Aubry and what that means to her potential victory.

Echoing the audience at home, Tai questioned whether it was a final two or a three given Probst’s cryptic wording.

Ultimately though it was classic Probst just being classic, as a new twist was unleashed where the final three competed for the right to vote out a juror. After a tight race, Michele continued her low-key – is that her motto? – string of challenge wins and after hearing Aubry and Tai’s compelling arguments, sent a guaranteed and persuasive Aubry voter, Neal, packing.

Ultimately though, it didn’t impacted the outcome as my dear friend Tai continued in the hallowed tradition of Becky Lee by getting zero votes at final tribal council.

I first connected with Tai while staging my own one-man, zero audience, independent adaptation of A Midsummer Night’s Dream in San Fran’s Golden Gate Park. Given his gentle, loving spirit Tai would offer me support as he went about his job. You could argue that his kindness is responsible for my excessive, irritating self-confidence.

Tai was upset after final tribal, not because he lost but because he had just said goodbye to his dear friend and surrogate son #MarkTheChicken. After assuring him that he should be proud of his game – and that I had no chicken recipes for the top two – he started to perk back up.

My miracle, liquid elixir – which is just butt-loads of alcohol, dressed up with tropical mixers – may have had something to do with that though. Either way, my Mai Tai Trang was just what doc-Tai ordered.

 

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I was very depressed by the lack of audience for my performance back in San Fran, which resulted in my downing a morning mai tai to give me the courage to continue with my dreams. After connecting with Tai, I started to double the batch as a way to say thank you … for being a friend.

Give the light, fresh flavours and a good whack of booze, it is also the perfect way to down your sorrows after snagging no final tribal council votes.

Enjoy.

 

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Mai Tai Trang
Serves: 1-2, depending on the mood.

Ingredients
60ml spiced rum
25ml freshly squeezed lime juice
20ml orange curacao
10ml orgeat
crushed ice
mint sprig, to garnish … or if you forgot, a lime wedge

Method
Combine all liquid in a cocktail shaker, shake.

Place some crushed ice in the base of a glass, top with the booze, garnish with mint … or the aforementioned lime wedge and wash away your sorrows.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Joe Del Campho

Main, Soup, Survivor: Kaôh Rōng

Yeah, yeah – previously on Survivor, Jason couldn’t pull off the impossible and was sent to Ponderosa despite everyone in the alliance trying to turn on each other. But this episode, seriously? Again! Another freaking medevac!?

Poor little Joey, Joe-Joe aka Rudy 2.0 found himself experiencing some severe #GastrointestinalDistress and was swiftly pulled from the game in fifth place. Confirming to Tai that, despite his fears, he goes home with his idol in his pocket.

Game, set, match editors – well played!

Anyway, let’s rewind. We got back to camp and again Joe spoke, before Michelle and Tai butted heads over Tai’s late-game villain turn after he once again flipped on his alliance for the third time.

We then headed straight to reward where Joe shocked everyone and won the reward, proving that slow and steady wins the race, and ended his anti-Anglim streak in the process.

Damn straight he #GetsItDoneAt71!

I first connected with Joe about four decades ago when we worked for the FBI together. Joe is an absolute gentleman and acted like a mentor to me, despite my questionable relationship with the law.

We stayed close throughout the years – despite my many scandals, arrests and stints in rehab – and Joe has remained a constant in my life and has always tried to help me be the best version of me. Could you imagine how bad I would have been without him?

Anyway, poor little Joe overindulged in the delicious meat at his Hef reward, despite not being a big meat guy, and sadly that was his downfall.

We heard all about Cydney upping her game (by downplaying the fact that she could literally crush everyone left in the game), Joe, Cyd and Aubry formed a final three alliance, Tai and Michelle joined forces, Aubry and Tai reconnected while Michelle and Cydney solidified their bond … all for nothing after Joe was done in, I assume, by an extreme case of meat sweats!

Having zero respect for the fact that he was just medically evacuated for stomach issues – and the fact that he is 71, to boot – I decided to go with a (potentially) digestively aggressive Joe Del Campho to welcome him to post-hospital Ponderosa.

 

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In my defense, pho was Joe and my go to meal after cracking a case / defeating the bad-guys / whatever it is we did in the FBI back in the day (I was way too high to remember those days) – it was to us, what shawarma is to the avengers, you know?

So yeah, onion, par cooked-meat and chilli isn’t a good thing on paper – but it was the ultimate comfort food for my dear old friend. Despite that, the fresh flavours, delicately cooked meat and the kick of heat and lime work together to bring you a pho that dances in your mouth.

Plus, ginger is good for you … so there is that, right? Enjoy!

 

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Joe Del Campho
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
5 cups beef stock
3cm piece ginger, finely grated
2 star anise
1 tsp fennel seeds
cinnamon quill
1 tbsp fish sauce
2 tsp soy sauce
dried pho noodles, softened in boiling water for a couple of minutes
250g beef sirloin, finely sliced across the grain
1 onion, finely sliced
4 shallots, green part only, finely sliced
⅓ cup chopped coriander
black pepper
lime wedges, to serve
sliced chillies, to serve
Thai basil leaves, to serve
bean sprouts, to serve
sriracha sauce

Method
Place stock, ginger, spices, fish sauce, soy sauce and 2 cups of cold water in a large saucepan over high heat. Cover, bring to the boil and then reduce the heat to low and simmer uncovered for 5 minutes.

Place a handful of pho noodles in a large bowl and cover with boiling water. Allow to rest until cooked through or about fifteen minutes, drain and leave to rest.

Thinly slice the steak – it helps if you freeze it for about 20 minutes before.

Remove the spices from the stock mixture with a slotted spoon.

To serve, place pho noodles in the bottom of a bowl, layer the raw steak and onion over the top and cover generously with the piping hot stock. Season generously and sprinkle on some coriander.

To eat, season to taste with lime juice and chilli and add in some basil and sprouts. As I like heat and disregard Joe’s health, I topped it up generously with some sriracha.

The heat may have got things moving?

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Brian Austin Green Curry

Donna Martin graduates, Main, Vegetarian

Like David Silver, Brian Austin Green is an under-appreciated talent in the Hills. I mean, who else married Megan Fox slashed worked with the future Cersei Lannister (a character who I continue to argue is a product of the patriarchal society in which she lives/is a feminist icon)?

I first met Bri in the 80s when we both worked on Knot’s Landing and joined Nicolette Sheridan’s entourage of young, brunette male cheerleaders. I was working as a writer/fight choreographer at the time and I was blown away by his immense … talent.

Again, I don’t mean to gloat … but as you probably guessed, I also got Bri the job at Bev Hills. Realistically, I think I am going to have to sue the estate of Aaron Spelling for unpaid wages as I was single-handedly responsible for casting all of the teenagers!

As you should be aware, Bri has been going through quite the difficult time with separating from Meg Fox but thankfully they had some exciting news that we were able to celebrate (while he attempted to help me get Annelie’s memory back) – yes, I’m going to be godfather to another Austin Green Fox spawn!

FYI my obnoxious Instagram is coming – game on Swifty!

It was such an honour to once again be asked to provide spiritual and moral guidance to one of his children (Vanessa Marcil blocked me taking on the role to his first child). And what better way to celebrating an upcoming birth slash militant support, than a Brian Austin Green Curry?

 

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I decided during my yogi dietician phase that vegetarianism was best for Bri – whether he is or not, I don’t care. Either way, whenever we catch-up I ensure that I’m serving up solely vegetarian meals to not let slip that I was strung out on bath salts during that phase of my life.

Thankfully this curry is so delicious, even a staunch meat eater (and who doesn’t love to eat some meat) would fall for its charms. The sweet pumpkin and coconut combination works perfectly with the kick of the curry, provided a delicate dish that hits all the right places. I know it goes without saying, but just like Bri!

Enjoy!

 

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Brian Austin Green Curry
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 tbsp coconut oil
300g firm tofu, drained and thickly sliced
270ml coconut milk
½ cup water
3 tbsp green curry paste
700g kent pumpkin, deseeded and cut into large pieces
250g beans, topped and halved
3 tbsp muscovado sugar
juice of a fresh lime
brown rice, to serve
fresh coriander leaves, to serve
roasted cashews, roughly chopped, to serve

Method
Heat the oil in a large frying pan over medium heat. When as hot as the handle on the door when Kelly and misc D-character-to-horribly-disfigure got stuck in the bathroom during a fire at a house party, add the tofu and cook for a couple of minutes until golden. Remove to a plate.

Add the curry paste and the coconut milk, stirring, and cook for a minute or two. Add the pumpkin and the water and give a good stir to combine. Reduce the heat, cover and cook for about 10 minutes, or until the pumpkin is tender.

Stir through the beans and sugar, cover and cook for a further couple of minutes, until they are bright, crisp and perfectly cooked.

Remove from the heat and stir through the tofu and lime juice, season and allow to rest for a couple of minutes.

Serve on a bed of rice and garnish with coriander and cashews.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Tim Rice Paper Rolls

Main, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold MMXVI: Gold Interrupted, Side, Snack

After being reminded of my once close relationship with Elton – yep, you know we went there – I thought I would reach out to one of our favourite outside-the-boudoir collaborators, Tim Rice.

Yeah, I should have also won for Can You Feel the Love Tonight but Elton had my name struck from the record – maybe that is why our feud started?

My friendship with Timmy pre-dates Elty, having first met working as law clerks in London in the 60s. Our mutual love of music and my passion for theatrics, meant writing musicals was something we were born to do culminating in our first collab with David Gest’s doppelgänger ALW on Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat.

While I got into huge feud with ALW after he refused to focus on Doll’s coat over Joseph’s – our feud inspired the rivalry between Sheff and ALW in The Nanny – my close relationship with Tim was unbreakable and has lasted through all of my later feuds.

Timmy had far fewer aggressive opinions about this year’s Original Song nominees, wanting them all to win(!), but eventually caved to agree with me that Lady Gaga and Sam Smith are the absolute worst and have no place on the Oscars stage … and that Fifty Shades of Grey was a film full of nuance, that was understated, elegant and cerebral.

Needing to fuel such a spirited conversation (to help me firm up my bets), I opted for my Tim Rice Paper Rolls.

 

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Fresh, delicate and delicious – these rice paper rolls hit all the right notes without making you feel like death afterwards. I mean, Mac and Cheese is great but it is hard to focus on your gambling, on such a full stomach.

Good luck nominees – hopefully Gaga doesn’t rob someone more deserving again (K-Dunst forever)! How good would it be for The Weeknd to do something that his ex-future-father-in-law D-Bag Foster hasn’t been able to?!

Enjoy!

 

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Tim Rice Paper Rolls
Makes: 12.

Ingredients
500g chicken breast
1 lime, zested and juiced
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1 tbsp olive oil
1 cup wombok, finely shredded
1 small red capsicum, thinly sliced
1 carrot, grated
2 shallots, sliced
1 lebanese cucumber, cut into matchsticks
¼ cup mint leaves
¼ cup crushed peanuts
1 tsp fish sauce
1 tbsp sweet chilli sauce, plus extra, to serve
12 rice paper rounds

Method
Heat the oil in a non-stick frying pan over medium heat. Add the chicken breast, cooking for five minutes on each side or until cooked through. Remove from the heat and mix the garlic and lime juice through the still hot pan and stand to until it is cool enough to handle, then shred the meat.

Place the shredded chicken, lime zest, wombok, capsicum, carrot, shallots, cucumber, mint, nuts fish sauce and sweet chilli sauce into a large bowl aka everything excluding the wrappers, and mix to combine.

To assemble the rice paper rolls, soak a sheet of rice paper in warm water for 30 seconds, until it softens.

Place the rice paper onto a flat surface and place about ⅓ cup of the mixture halfway between the bottom and the centre, then turn up the bottom of the wrapper to cover the filling. Holding the filling in place, fold in the two sides, then roll up. Repeat until you’re out of wrappers. Any leftover filling goes alright as a salad.

Devour slathered in sriracha, hoisin or soy.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Alicia Keys Lime Pie

Dessert

It is fitting that we caught-up with Alicia during week of the Grammys; fitting and awkward, as she iced us out of winning one with her in 2011 in favour of Blue Ivy’s dad. Thankfully she opened up with an apology, as we kindly opened up our home and hearts to her in the hopes of rekindling our friendship.

Despite the recent animosity (and ourselves), it felt like no time had passed and we were those young ingenues on the set of The Cosby Show once more. We caught each other on what has been happening since we last spoke; she had two kids, we have once again taken the world by storm and have been thrust into the limelight.

We laughed about Kanye’s idiocy at The Grammys and apparent love for Beyonce (move on Kanye, she already has a husband that ruined our lives) and discussed Bill Cosby’s recent controversy before serving Alicia with a slice of humble Alicia Keys Lime Meringue Pie.

 

Alicia Keys Lime Pie_1

 

The tart kick of lime acted as a symbol for our pain over the, well you know what, and the period in her life when she didn’t have us (baby), while the sweet, delicate meringue was an offering of hope that our friendship could continue as sweetly as it used to.

Enjoy!

 

Alicia Keys Lime Pie_2

 

Alicia Keys Lime Meringue Pie
Serves: 8

Ingredients
375g can sweetened condensed milk
4 large egg yolks
½ cup plus 2 tablespoons key lime juice

Crust
1 ½ cups digestives, crushed
2 tbsp caster sugar
5 tbsp unsalted butter, melted

Meringue
4 egg whites
1 pinch cream of tartar
2 tbsp caster sugar

Method
Preheat oven to 170°C.

Stir together digestive crumbs, sugar, and butter in a bowl with a fork until combined well, then press mixture evenly onto bottom and up side of a 9-inch glass pie plate (quiche dish will do in a pinch). Bake crust in middle of oven 10 minutes and cool in pie plate on a rack.

Increase heat of oven to 180°C.

Whisk together condensed milk and yolks in a bowl until combined well. Add juice and whisk until combined well (mixture will thicken slightly).

Place egg whites and cream of tartar in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment. Beat egg whites until soft peaks form and then gradually add sugar and continue beating until stiff peaks form, approximately 1 to 2 minutes. Use to top lime filling.

Pour filling into pie crust and top with meringue. Make sure meringue completely covers filling and that it goes right up to the edge of the crust. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes or until meringue is golden. Cool pie completely on rack (filling will set as it cools), then chill covered overnight.

Serve by fallin’ face first into the pie and devouring.