Red Capsicum

Pineapple and Morglamb Mitchellow Curry

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Main, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the Postgraduates were well and truly in control after avoiding a rockdraw. After Kaelan won immunity, they decided to stay silent against the OG Brawn girls to make sure they couldn’t find a crack. Thankfully the Brawns were not keen on going down without a fight, soKristin got to work trying to woo Zara. Though she clearly wasn’t budging. At tribal council, Kate shared how frustrated she was knowing there were cracks, so made one final attempt at flipping Zara by changing the vote to Myles. Sadly for them, Zara stayed firm with her alliance – mainly because Kate is her biggest competition – as poor Kristin was sent out the door.

Back at camp everyone celebrated making the final six, before the majority went for a walk to congratulate themselves for sticking to their OG plan for the first time all season. Back at the shelter, Morgan and Kate decided that the only thing left to do was be iconic, so snacked on rice. Myles meanwhile was thrilled by how solid his alliance was, so asked everyone who should go next, with Zara quickly suggesting Kate. And while they all seemed solid, Myles admitted to us that Kate isn’t his biggest threat and as such, if their alliance comes undone, you better trust and believe it will be because of him.

The next day everyone woke up bright and early, looking super paranoid about how they will get to the end, given there are just days remaining. Kaelan was downplaying his progressive rise in power to Myles, saying the more challenges he won, the more scared he became. While AJ and Zara were busy talking about how paranoid Myles and Kaelan are. Particularly the latter, given he has won so many immunity challenges he is now convinced he will be booted the instant he doesn’t win. AJ assured Zara he is finally ready to get rid of Morgan and Kate, before going to catch up with the boys and while they quickly locked in said Kate vote, Myles reiterated to us that he has an idol and will gladly use it to blindside Kaelan should the opportunity arise. The wrinkle being that he would need Morgan’s help.

As such, Myles caught up with Morgan who promptly figured out that he would be looking to get rid of Kaelan ASAP. She immediately jumped onboard his plan, happy to make peace and get him out. Though given he had no answer when she asked what happens if he wins immunity, Kaelan is totally winning immunity right? Myles then shared his ideal final three is him, AJ and Zara, given they would both take him to the end. As such, he also floated the Kaelan plan with Zara, with her happy to get rid of him, given he clearly has no intention of letting her get near the final challenge and as such, she was onboard with Myles and Morgan’s plan.

With all that talk, the tribe met up with JLP for the immunity challenge – where Kaelan will break the individual immunity win record, right? – where they will leap off a platform in the water and race through a series of obstacles to collect balls before arriving on shore and using a stick to push all the balls up a ramp and into a basket. Kaelan obviously got out to a massive lead, while AJ, Morgan and Myles worked hard to close the gap. While Myles’ bold strategy helped him close the gap, Kaelan quickly got his eye in and landed his first ball. Myles tied things up just before Kaelan almost landed his second ball, before dropping and handing Myles the lead. The pressure then started to get to Kaelan who dropped a few more times, before Myles dropped, allowing Kaelan enough time to catch up and score himself his record-breaking sixth individual immunity.

Back at camp everyone congratulated Kaelan on his historic win. Well except for Kate and Morgan, who realised that there was now no chance that both of them would survive the night. While the plan was firmly set on getting rid of Kate for being a threat, AJ shared with us that Morgan was the bigger threat to his game and as such, he wanted to get rid of her instead. He pulled Zara and Kaelan aside and tried to point out their best move was for Kate and Morgan to vote for each other, hoping that Morgan would go. Sadly he said that out loud, which made Zara nervous, given Kate is her biggest threat and she needs her to go ASAP. Despite being told not to say anything, AJ obviously caught up with Kate and told her that the only way to guarantee her safety tonight was to vote for Morgan. Sadly for him, it made her burst into tears at the thought of turning on her ally.

He obviously realised he screwed up, so caught up with Kaelan by the well and tried to convince him that Myles came up with the Kate plan. Hilariously, though, Kaelan pointed out that he and Zara actually wanted her out, given she can beat them in endurance challenges. Though bless AJ, he quickly pointed out that Myles thinks he can beat Morgan at final tribal council and as such, they need to get rid of her so he has no other option but to stick with them. Kaelan then pulled Zara aside to get her onboard with getting rid of Morgan. Zara being Zara, she immediately shut Kaelan down and pointed out that AJ consistently changes up the vote last minute to benefit his game and his alone, so she was not having it. And that seemed to calm Kaelan.

AJ meanwhile was busy talking to Kate, assuring her that he is desperately trying to save her over Morgan. Sadly for him, Kaelan and Zara were watching him talk to Kate. This made Zara irate, approaching AJ and telling him that she is not voting for Morgan tonight and Kate has to go. She pointed out all the reasons why she found her to be the biggest threat, before adding that she is also concerned that when Kate is emotional, AJ just does what she wants. AJ pointed out that Morgan going home is the only thing that keeps Myles from flipping on them and in turn, keeps Kaelan safe. Which Zara hilariously pointed out wasn’t best for her. They both eventually landed on the fact that Zara is more concerned about Kaelan being in the game at the final four, while AJ can only focus on Myles. And finally, things are clearer.

Myles caught up with Kate, telling her that he is sad Kaelan won immunity today, while Kate started to cry about potentially voting out Morgan. The duo then caught up in the hammock, sobbing to be broken up, as Morgan encouraged Kate to just vote her out as it will ruin their plans, which is a win in itself. Kate was confused about what she was saying, with Morgan astutely pointing out that she can’t win and as such, she’d rather fuck with the Brains’ plans and help Kate make it one more round. That was enough, however, to inspire them to make one final pitch to get rid of Myles, with Kate pulling Kaelan aside to point out that he needs to make a big move if he wants to win the game. And blindsiding Myles could just be that big move.

At tribal council Kaelan shared how proud he was to take out his sixth immunity and most importantly, keep his alliance strong by keeping it out of their rivals’ hands. AJ wanted to see the streak run longer so the record could never be broken, while Kate pointed out that Kaelan is beatable – she has proven it multiple times – though he is clearly well rounded. Myles spoke about how close he came to winning and as such, isn’t concerned about Kaelan winning every single challenge. Because now people are more hungry to target him should he lose. Kaelan agreed it is stressful to think about losing, though is planning to ride the momentum as long as he possibly can. Myles mentioned that at some point, Kaelan winning immunity could become an inconvenience for his game, though it isn’t a problem yet. And his focus is still on getting rid of Morgan and Kate.

Morgan hilariously pointed out she spent the afternoon napping, given she and Kate are willing numbers, and it is honestly up to the others to make use of them at this point. Kate then accused everyone of playing it too safe to get to the top five, pointing out it is easier to make a big move with two extra votes rather than one. And they will end up losing the chance to actually make a move if they waste time. Zara cautioned that they have all made so many moves to get here, while Myles suggested the timing isn’t right for a move. This time the yet was implied. AJ mentioned it only makes sense if you want to make the chessboard look different, otherwise, they shouldn’t make a move and just ride it out.

Kate spoke about feeling like a sitting duck, which led to JLP announcing that tonight would be a little different. Someone would be voted out, but not before the remaining five vulnerable people competed in a second immunity challenge. No doubt to improve the odds for the Brawns. With that, everyone pivoted to the challenge where they would hold a rope to balance a platform and walk along a balance beam to build a house of cards on the rickety platform. The first to reach a marker winning, or whoever was highest after 45 minutes. AJ was the first to have a big stack, while Myles powered ahead with Kate nipping at his heels. The duo were neck and neck for the rest of the challenge, centimetres from the marker when Myles dropped, opening it up for Kate to slowly work away before she too dropped. Morgan was then in the lead before she dropped, putting AJ in front, with him dropping right on cue. While Kate and Zara quietly worked away and just hoped to be the highest at the end of 45 minutes, slowly backing behind the line before Zara dropped a single block at the very last minute, handing Kate the second immunity.

They returned to tribal council where the jury were delighted to see Kate take out immunity, though she was smart enough to know that while she is safe tonight, she will go back to the bottom tomorrow. And this time it will be worse, as she will be without Morgan. Myles admitted he just wanted to win to keep immunity out of their hands, while Zara suggested she would happily make a move if it was good. Kate once again whispered to Zara about who she would vote for, with her suggesting Myles would be her choice. Morgan meanwhile was confident they just wouldn’t make a move, while AJ reminded us that there were also advantages out there that everyone was being mindful of.

With that the tribe finally voted and despite hope that the women would once again come out on top, the Postgraduates everyone stood firm as Morgan was booted from the game. Despite forgoing final words and Jury Villa, Morgan was thrilled to see we waiting for her before she jumped in a cab to the airport home. I pulled her in for a massive hug and told her how proud of her I was, and while the audience wasn’t shown how much of an icon she was, the fact she left on her own terms, kinda proves it right? In any event, she loved her pre-departure Pineapple and Morglamb Mitchellow Curry.

Pineapple is one of the more controversial things to include on pizza, so I assume the stigma carries over to curry – but hear me out, this is incredible. While I only tried this recipe because I had some lamb lying around after the spitroast reward – not the kind I was thinking – the earthiness of the lamb and the sweet-sour pineapple just work.

Enjoy!

Pineapple and Morglamb Mitchellow Curry
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, sliced
⅓ cup yellow curry paste
750g lamb, diced
2 cups chicken stock
1 red capsicum, seeded and sliced 
2 cups pineapple, diced
400ml unsweetened coconut milk
2 tbsp fish sauce
1 tbsp muscovado sugar
rice, coriander and shallots, to serve

Method
Heat the oil in a dutch oven over medium heat and once nice and hot, add the onions and sweat for five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the curry paste and cook it off for a minute before adding the lamb and browning for a couple of minutes. Stir in the chicken stock, bring to the boil, reduce to low and simmer, covered, for 30 minutes.

Once the meat is nice and soft, uncover and return to medium heat. Stir in the capsicum, pineapple, coconut milk, fish sauce and sugar, and simmer for 5 minutes to allow all the flavours to come together and the sauce to thicken slightly.

Serve over a bed of rice, with a sprinkle of coriander and shallots, and devour your way, in honour of Morgs!


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Logan Gojuchannisen Beef Bowl

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Main, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Kaelan pretended to be dumb and even roped in JLP and his biceps to help sell the lie that he couldn’t solve puzzles as he powered ahead to win his third immunity. Which was convenient, given he was finally ready to make a move and take out Karin.But before that he and Logan were invited on AJ and Kristin’s reward where Logan floated getting rid of Karin too. Back at camp, they looped everyone in except Myles, who started to spiral and decided to target Zara, given it was clearly not going to be an easy vote. Sadly for everyone, Kristin warned Karin about said plan. At tribal council, Karin blew it all up, telling everyone everything. And while she wasn’t going to tell where she heard the information, Kristin admitted that it was her, but Karin just took a giant dump on her plan on her way out the door. Oh and we were again reminded Logan told the jury it was her plan, meaning it is clearly important.

Back at camp Zara confronted Kaelan about turning on her, wondering why he chose the Brawn girls over her. He expertly pointed out that she and Karin turned on Myles, so he and AJ felt it could easily happen to them. She was pretty calm, pulling everyone together in the shelter and sharing how sad she is for Kristin too given she was just as close with Karin as she was. And of course Logan, who was also her ally. Logan, bless, then told Zara that she was actually the one leading the vote, so told her not to worry about feeling bad for her. Despite what I thought, AJ wasn’t pissed about Logan taking credit for the move, pulling Myles aside and talking about how great it is that Logan is taking the heat, because with that and the fact people think they’re feuding, they can continue to quietly work together without being targeted.

The next day everyone was shocked to realise they only have nine days left in the game. Kristin meanwhile was feeling a little awkward given Karin blew up her game on the way out, so pulled AJ and Kaelan aside to explain that lots of people wanted Zara and she just thought that was the new plan and got confused. And while AJ was quick to forgive and buy her story, Kaelan was quite pissed at her for ruining the blind side. As such, their alliance was done-zo. At the shelter, Myles was chatting to Morgan, Kate and Zara about the fact that a quarter of them will be in the final two. He then took Zara aside to give her a pep talk, teaching her the ways of the power bottom and assuring her that now she is able to play her best. That gave her the idea of bringing the Graduates alliance back together, taking control and making it all the way to the final four. The only issue being that AJ is super close to Kate and Morgan, and they aren’t quite sure whether his loyalty will lie with them or his OG Brains in the long term. Zara pulled Kaelan aside to clear the air, with him assuring her that his issue was with Karin, not her and as such, he is keen to ride it to the end.

JLP made his debut for the episode for the latest reward challenge where they would each have to balance on progressively narrow footholds over water with the last person standing scoring a night away at the Ikea overnight retreat, complete with shepherd’s pie and not Ikea meatballs, which feels like a choice. AJ couldn’t even last a minute. Everyone else moved through the next two narrower footholds, with Myles finally dropping after ten minutes. He was quickly followed by Kaelan and Morgan, while Logan narrowly avoided disaster. The remaining four managed to last another fifteen minutes before then transitioned to the narrowest footholds which cost Zara and Kate, while the others continued to struggle before Logan finally dropped, handing Kristin the win. As is oft the case, she was given the opportunity to invite someone along, picking Morgan. Much to her shock. She then got to select one other, going with Logan. And let’s just say, the rest of the tribe did not look happy.

Back at camp Kate was super disappointed to miss out on reward, while Zara was focused on making amends and locking in plans, given she would happily go to all the spas when she returns to Brisbane. To which I say, take me with you Hermes, queen – can we be besties?! After winning over Myles and Kaelan, she pulled AJ aside with both of them agreeing that the Graduates need to stick together, as Zara knows that AJ would have been trying to save her. He then told her that Kristin’s choices for the reward have actually scared him, given she and Logan were hoping to get rid of Kate, and as such, they were clearly planning to woo Morgan to get the plan moving. He then assured Zara that he would gladly vote out Kate when the time comes because he knows she and Morgan will always take each other to the end, so he has no option not to. The duo went back to camp and when they realised Kate was far away, they locked in their post-Graduates alliance before going to hunt for idols. Because while they were close, Kaelan was still worried that Myles and AJ could do something stupid just for the drama of it at tribal council.

Sadly for Kaelan, it was Myles that found the idol – his fourth of the season to boot – and rather than keeping it quiet, once again he took the information back to AJ and while he said that he was super happy for him, it was clear that he was also very jealous. Though bless, he was happy to technically have an idol too, given it is clear Myles would play it for him if he needed it.

We finally checked in on the gals at the Ikea spa – thank you, Ikea, wink – with everyone delighted to see the food, champers and a bed. After smashing some pie, Logan jumped in the shower and was gagged by how dirty she was. After they were done scrubbing up, Logan floated the idea that Kate is the biggest threat and needed to be dealt with ASAP. Kristin, however, felt Zara was the bigger threat and pushed them until they locked in an alliance to get her out next. All that Logan and Kristin need to do to get it over the line was to convince AJ and Kaelan to join them, and they can take control. After a very good night’s sleep.

The next day things were still pretty zen back at camp as Myles and Zara spoke about how great it will be to make the final four. AJ meanwhile was focused on making it through the next vote to ensure it happens, realising that Logan is the next biggest threat and as such, she needs to go. One by one he locked in his allies to get rid of Logan, with him then finally admitting to us that he also wants to get her out for taking credit for the Karin vote.

My love Jonathan and the reward winners returned for the immunity challenge where they would be divided into teams to race through obstacles, carrying a locked teammate to collect a key and unlock them. The winning team would then face off tossing sandbags at a target, with the first to knock theirs off, taking out the win. Kaelan, Kristin, Myles and Kate faced off against AJ, Morgan, Logan and Zara, with AJ valiantly carrying Zara through the course while Kaelan straight up dropped Kate on their team. Zara, AJ, Morgan and Logan got out to a very hefty lead, though the others picked up the pace and closed the gap. And then took over and moved to the final round, much to Logan’s rage, begging the question, is AJ back in his challenge throwing era? The final four then raced to the top of the tower to toss their sandbags, with Kaelan powering through and jagging himself immunity just ahead of Myles.

Back at camp everyone quickly shared a meal before Kristin pulled Kaelan aside to try and woo him to her Zara plan, though she could tell he was lying and was clearly against her. She then pulled Kate aside and suggested that they just need to load all their votes on Zara, and hope the other four split their votes. Kristin, however, was super nervous about them playing an idol for whoever they were targeting, so suggested they just need to float a fake plan and hope that they will jump onboard a split between Kate and Morgan. Logan approached Myles to loop him in, while Kristin took it to AJ and Kaelan and just like that, all the girls were feeling good. WIth AJ and Logan once again talking through a plan that both of them knew was not going to happen. 

AJ found the Postgraduates and told them it is clear the girls are clearly trying to get them to split their votes so they should just band together. Sadly, that was their plan. Meaning they locked in the four votes for Logan, and instead hope they can push one of them to flip in the revote. Or just go to rocks. AJ started to get nervous, obviously, and suggested to Zara that he should maybe tell Kate to lock in a solid majority. Which Zara promptly shut down. AJ is AJ though, so pulled Kate aside and told her their plan and that Logan was actually targeting Kate and Morgan tonight. While the Graduates were all kind of excited by the prospect of going to rocks and going down in history.

At tribal council Kristin was thrilled about her time on reward, though was starting to get quite nervous about everything she missed back at camp. Myles was confident that they made the most of their time back at camp, while Logan pointed out that everyone is just starting to get paranoid. AJ shared that he was just hoping to find people with common goals to alleviate their paranoia, while Kate admitted that she is happy to continue making new alliances every day until the game ends. Kaelan and AJ spoke about the importance of having the full picture. With just that little bit of preamble, the tribe voted and shock horror, it was a four-four tie between Zara and Logan. With that the tribe voted once again, with it finishing in a three-three tie.

It was at this point it became clear why there was so little content before the votes, as JLP explained that the tribe now needed to come to a unanimous decision about who to send home. And if they couldn’t, Zara and Logan would join Kaelan as immune, while the remaining five would go to rocks. AJ and Myles quickly pointed out that they have zero qualms about going to rocks, given the numbers are on their side. Kristin pointed out that she wants Zara out because she has so many connections. Logan then jumped in, saying that she would not demand anyone go to rocks for her, while Zara may demand it of people. Zara pointed out that they were all actually ready to go to rocks, as they weren’t sure who would be the target heading into tribal council. Everyone tried to assure everyone else that they would all happily work together moving forward. While Logan tried to point out that people willing to go to rocks for each other are clearly locked.

JLP reminded them that it needs to be a unanimous decision and when it was clear her allies were nervous, Logan told them it was fine for them to flip and with that, everyone verbally agreed to send her to the jury. As she arrived at the villa, I pulled her in for a massive hug and thanked her for serving for as long as she did. Because look back on the season and while the mean have steamrolled the confessionals, Logan carried the actual narrative. And as a Pilates gay, I will always support a pilates and wine mum, meaning it was fate that I celebrate her with a glorious Logan Gojuchannisen Beef Bowl.

This reworked little Half Baked Harvest number is oh-so-good. Sweet, spicy and somehow creamy, it is the perfect mid-week meal to wash away the trauma of the work week.

Enjoy!

Logan Gochujannisen Beef Bowl
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
750g beef mince
salt and pepper, to taste
2 tbsp butter
2 red capsicums, sliced
6 shallots, sliced
6 garlic cloves, minced
1 tbsp ginger, grated
½ cup tamari
4 tbsp gochujang
4 tbsp rice vinegar
⅓ cup beef stock
2 tbsp maple syrup
¼ cup sesame seeds, toasted
⅓ cup roasted peanuts, chopped
2 lebanese cucumbers, cut into half coins
2 tbsp Thai basil
rice, to serve

Method
Pop a large skillet over medium-high heat and brown the mince for five minutes, breaking up with a wooden spoon as you go. Season with a pinch of salt and a good whack of pepper before adding the butter, capsicum, half the shallots and the ginger, and cooking for a couple of minutes.

Stir in the tamari, three tablespoons of the gochujang, half the rice vinegar and a stock. Bring to the boil before reducing heat to low and stirring in the maple syrup. Cook for a minutes or so, or until the beef is caramelised and sticky. Remove from the heat and stir through the sesame seeds.

While the beef rests, combine the cucumbers with one teaspoon of salt and the remaining gochujang, rice vinegar and shallots. Allow to stand for 5 minutes.

To serve, layer your bowl with rice, followed by a generous heaping of the mince, followed by the spicy cucumber and a sprinkle of peanuts, before devouring. Like a queen.


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Frasausage Melack

Keeping it Kardashian Khristmas, Main, Sandwich, Snack, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Gerry joined the Villains as a spy, though after being welcomed so warmly, he embraced his new tribe and well, rose to the top with George and Shiz. After the Heroes narrowly took out immunity – thanks to Benjamin and Paige slaying with some signing to stealthily solve the puzzle – Simon was ready to finally take the shot on George, given he has an immunity idol – lol – and a group of allies behind him to seize power. Sadly, Shonee realised she, Liz and George couldn’t trust Sarah and as such, whipped everyone into a frenzy to take out the swing vote instead of taking a shot, Sarah, who definitely didn’t push Miss Greece down the stairs.

The next day the Heroes were talking about how small their tribe feels without Gerry, while Sharni in particular was still annoyed at how things played out. Despite Sharni loving the idea of playing with loyalty, I live for how annoyed she is at the tribe. Realising she was annoyed, Sam checked in with her with Sharni talking about how desperately she was hoping Gerry survived, knowing it spoke to how strong a game he can play. And how kind he is.

Speaking of Gerry, he was living his best life at the Villains camp, smashing some rice in awe of the waves on their beach. And TBH, he did not really want to go back to his old tribe anymore, given they are so kind and he just clicked with Shonee, Liz and George. This glorious foursome were hunting for wood as Gerry grew more and more nervous about returning to the Heroes, given they stitched him up. Despite the initial purpose being to get goss for the Heroes, he pointed out to his new besties – he is Old Spice in the alliance, FYI – that Simon needs to go ASAP as if he makes the swap, he will immediately align with the alphas running the Heroes and as such, he is down to get rid of him. Though sadly George spoke about it in front of Simon.

As Simon prepared to go for a swim, he could barely hide his disdain for George who was trying to make conversation. As he was chilling out, Liz called his bestie Jordie over to point out what happened, with him realising that his ally is getting way too toxic for the tribe. And that night under the cover of darkness, Jordie and George caught up about how to navigate the escalating tensions, while Jordie shared with us that now just might be the time to play Simon and George off against each other and give the rest of them a break.

The tribes reconvened with Jonathan for the immunity challenge where the Heroes were delighted to see Gerry had survived the previous tribal council. Well, until JLP got cheeky and offered him the choice between sticking with the Villains and returning to the Heroes in which case they got super awkward, until he opted to return to them. While the Villains were left reeling, Jonathan explained that to win immunity they would face off in trios to push a ball into a goal in the water with the first tribe to two securing victory. First up were Shiz and Simon opposite Flick, Hayley and Shaun, with the Heroes obviously taking out the first point, despite some heroic fighting from Shonee. As George whispered from the sidelines that Simon’s desire to face Shaun is hurting their chances. Jordie, Fraser and George then faced off against Sam, David and Matt with the Heroes quickly scoring immunity despite some epic fighting from George. As Stevie muttered about getting rid of George on the sidelines.

Back at camp the tribe spoke about how disappointed they were to lose Gerry before everything descended into absolute chaos. Simon’s faction were thrilled to be able to take out their biggest nemesis, George. With Simon feeling particularly confident, given he has the idol – he doesn’t – and a loyal bestie in Jordie – debatable. He caught up with Stevie who was thrilled to jump on board getting rid of George while Simon coached him on how to sell his desire to get rid of him to Shiz and George. After thanking Stevie for protecting him after all he has done to protect him, Stevie came up with some codes before they split up to scramble. Stevie went to George to tell him how he is over Simon bossing him around, while Simon caught up with Shiz who questioned why George and Stevie were even talking.

Jordie meanwhile continued to question what is the best path forward given Simon is abrasive and rubbing everyone the wrong way. He approached Fraser and outlined everything, telling him that they now have a decision to make. Ready to lock in with George and Shiz – knowing that joining the alpha alliance would be his undoing – Jordie told them about Simon’s idol, telling them they need to make sure he has no clue about the vote to guarantee he doesn’t play it. After getting Fraser over the line, the group locked in their plan as Liz worried about Simon crying once he is blindsided with an idol. Again. Feeling uber confident, Simon then caught up with George to assure him that he knows they need each other and that Stevie will be going home tonight.

While Shiz spoke about how much they are looking forward to Simon going home.

At tribal council George spoke about how disappointed he was that Gerry left them, despite the Heroes voting him out previously. That being said, he accepts the fact he felt safer amongst a tribe of athletes that consistently win challenges. Which obviously annoyed Simon. As George spoke about wanting to focus on getting rid of the weak, Simon angrily told him he can’t exactly vote for himself, while George calmly thanked him for calling him weak. Liz spoke about being sick of the tension, while Stevie felt something needed to be done while Jordie cautioned everyone needed to come together otherwise they will all be screwed. George meanwhile spoke about how much he achieved in his first seasons and as such, he doesn’t feel like he needs to build a legacy because he already has one while not every returnee can say that.

Growing more irate, Simon sassed out George, asking why he doesn’t want to win, rubbing salt in his wounds for Hayley beating him. Jordie grew more and more exasperated, assuring everyone to trust in the last conversations they had, with Shonee agreeing it was for the best. As they seemingly tried to wrap things up, JLP decided to throw a spanner in the works, announcing that tonight’s tribal council will be a little different as while they are still booting someone from the game, it won’t happen until after they have competed in a little individual immunity challenge.

With that Jonathan and the Villains relocated to a field outside tribal council  where they would each race to build poles long enough to release a flint from a post before building a fire big enough to burn through a rope. Simon quickly built his pole, though failed to release his flint as he and George started to bicker. While quietly working away, Shonee made her first attempt before failing as Simon tried again and jagged his flint. As George and Shiz looked ready to murder him, Liz quietly cheered on Jordie, willing him to close the gap and keep the plan from falling apart. Though it was all for nothing as Simon built a large fire and jagged immunity, while George turned his attention to scrambling. As Simon tried to squeak out a tear over how proud he is to win immunity.

After returning to tribal council, George and Shiz went to one corner of tribal council while the rest of the tribe went to another. George told Shiz to join the boys and act like he is going home, while he intended to create war and chaos amongst them. When Shiz approached them however, Simon loudly told them all to go sit down and open it up to the floor instead. While Liz requested he calm down. Simon spoke about his pride at having immunity, particularly since he knows he was likely copping votes tonight. George piped up and said that he was told that Stevie was going home, meaning the plan had clearly changed multiple times. Stevie said that came as a shock to him, while George asked Simon why he was told that plan.

Simon said that he told multiple people different things to keep things from blowing up, while George doubled down on how much Simon throws out way too many options. Stevie questioned why Simon threw out his name ahead of the second tribal council, while Simon desperately tried to assure him they were close and how much he values their friendship. George pointed out that Simon’s attitude shows he takes the game way too personally and he really needs to correct if he wants to last much further. Before ominously pointing out that the numbers will speak loudest tonight.

The groups split up to lock in their plans, with George filling Shiz in on the fact he has an idol and that he will be playing it but making things as uncomfortable as possible before the votes are read. While Simon forced the boys to lock in on George. After returning to their seats, Simon attempted to apologise to Shonee and Liz, with the later pointing out he clearly has no respect for them or their games before he and George grew more and more hostile with each other. That led to Jordie jumping in and reminding them that this is a game and it is meant to be fun, rather than them speaking to each other like absolute trash. To which Jonathan agreed, as George ominously shared that he is looking forward to a little bit of fun.

With that the tribe voted – Simon of all people telling George to treat people with respect – as George pulled out his idol as the last person – Stevie – stood up to vote, leading to laughter from Jordie and Fraser as Simon asked him who was going home, then. He then started taunting Simon, asking if he would be playing his idol to save Stevie and prove whether he is a hero or a villain. Sadly he took it one step further though, pointing out that Jordie is coming for him and told everyone about his idol. Which is worse than what Dani did in their first season, given Jordie pretends to be his bestie. He then told Simon to play his idol for Stevie and prove he is good, before Simon asked Jordie what was true. Jordie admitted to everything, knowing the numbers were against him and shared that he voted against Stevie.

George then double down, telling Simon his smartest move was to play the idol for Stevie and guarantee that one of the people that have been disloyal to him goes home and wake up tomorrow in power with him and Shiz, a clean slate between them and the knowledge that he only has one more traitor to get rid of before they swap. Simon held firm, pointing out that somebody needs to go while George turned his attention to Stevie, apologising and pointing out he desperately wanted to wake up with him tomorrow morning. Simon then offered a heartfelt apology to Stevie who was flabbergasted that Simon had turned on him while George pointed out that he will know who he can trust when he wakes up the next morning.

Which should have been a clue that all was not as it seems as two votes piled up on George – which did not count – and a pair came in for Stevie before George, Shonee and Liz’s votes piled up on Fraser. Brilliantly ruining Simon’s game and locking in Stevie as a number for George. And ugh, it was hard to watch for most of the time, but that was an epic tribal council. As was Stevie telling Simon they are not friends as he tried to apologise.

By the time Fraser arrived at Loser Lodge he was relieved to be away from the drastically escalating tensions, disappointed to be out of the game and a teeny tiny bit excited to be the person going home after such a memorable tribal council. I pulled him in for a hug and assured him that there was honestly nothing he could have done amidst the chaos that had unfolded over the course of the night and as such, he should still be proud of the game he had played. Oh and of course, rest easy knowing that being the person eliminated after the biggest tribal council of the series pretty much guarantees him a second shot. Which cheered him up almost as much as the piping hot Frasausage Melack I whipped up.

While I know a melt is nothing more than a toasted sandie, there is something so soothing about them that I instantly put them on a pedestal over a classic toastie. Though maybe it is because they focus even more heavily on cheese, which is essentially my personality and life at this point. Add in a little sausage and you know I’m in heaven.

Enjoy!

Frasausage Melack
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
2 onions, thinly sliced
1 red capsicum, seeded and sliced
2 tsp chilli flakes
salt and pepper, to taste
500g Italian sausage, casings removed
8 slices sourdough
¼ cup Shayonnaise Swain
1 cup provolone cheese
1 cup mozzarella cheese
¼ cup butter

Method
Pop the oil in a large skillet over medium heat and saute the onions and capsicums for about ten minutes, or until nice and soft. Add the chilli flakes, season and cook for a further minute or so before removing from the heat.

Shape the sausage meat into four thin patties and add to the still hot pan and cook for a couple of minutes each side until cooked. Remove from heat and wipe out the pan.

To assemble the sandwiches, smear the mayo on each slice of bread before dividing half the cheeses on four of the slices. Top with the onion and capsicum, followed by the patties and the rest of the cheese. Close the sandwiches with the remaining bread and smear some butter on the top of each.

Pop the clean skillet over medium heat again and place the sandwiches buttered side down on the pan and cook for a few minutes. Butter the tops of the sandwiches before flipping and cooking for a further couple of minutes. Serve immediately, cut in half of course, and devour.


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Tofu Sani Choyadi Bow

Main, Street Food, Survivor, Survivor 43, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Survivor the tribe competed for an epic overnight reward complete with snacks, a shower, a bed and the added surprise post-challenge of letters from home. Despite Noelle falling behind the pack on the balance beam, she powered through tears and her leg almost falling off to pull off the most epic come from behind win ever seen on Survivor. After taking half the tribe with her for the reward, those left behind started to plot, realising that while she keeps getting knocked down, she always bounces back and finds new allies. And as such, the tribe banded together to blindside Noelle for being too big of a threat to win.

Back at camp Sami was disappointed to be left out of the vote, feeling like his game is going to be difficult to salvage. But bless him, did he try! He tried to pretend that Gabler wrote down Karla’s name at tribal council and then when everyone told him that no, that was not the case, he eventually admitted he did it, but only to try and flush the idol. Gabler meanwhile was busy filling in Owen on what happened, assuring him that he still plans to go to the end with him and has a plan to take out the biggest threat/s – the duo that is Jesse and Cody. And while it sounded great, Owen was still frustrated, given once again he keeps being left out of votes and is essentially the joke of the season.

Which again, is why I would suck at Survivor because I am not this resilient and would totally have this happen to me.

The next day the tribe were feeling a bit more chill as Sami got the fire going, while Cody laughed about not wanting to participate in the fire challenge against him. Which totally means Cody is coming fourth or winning, right? We then had a deep dive with Sami who opened up about how desperately he wants to make his family proud and as such, he would hold his head high and fight. He approached Karla to apologise for voting for her, asking that they move past it and be open to working together. As such, he lied and told her that Cassidy was the first person to float her name and despite the fact she and Karla were solid, she immediately wanted to target her. We then learnt that Karla had told Cassidy about her idol and as such, she decided Sami knowing about its existence made Cass guilty. The girls then caught up, with Cassidy rightly flagging the fact she is nervous about Sami trying to sow distrust between them.

And while she was correct, I’m worried Karla isn’t vibing with her anymore.

We fast-forwarded an entire day when a boat arrived at sunrise advising them all to run into the jungle to find a hidden advantage. So they obviously did as told and immediately went hog wild trying to find the needle in the haystack. Sami literally walked past it multiple times before Cassidy dropped by and missed it too. Gabler then suggested they band together to try and find it war style, this time with Owen and Gabler also missing it. As Jesse, Karla and Cassidy spoke about giving up, Owen stood in front of it alongside Gabler and Sami before Cody straight up leant against the advantage. Before he eventually noticed it, quickly grabbing it off the tree and pocketing it without anyone noticing.

He learnt that to win immunity at the upcoming tribal council, he would simply have to guess who would win the next immunity challenge, the infamous last gasp! Meaning he can either just win the challenge himself, or guess the one least likely to panic as water lapped at their face.

The tribe pivoted to Probst in the ocean where they took their places under the grate in the ocean to wait it out as the tide rapidly made things more difficult. Well, after Probst explained the challenge to everyone but kept the person Cody bet on secret from everyone. Gabler was the first to drop out of the challenge before the swell became too much for Sami and he followed. Jesse was next to drop before Cody fought valiantly for a couple of minutes before ultimately exiting. After two hours of absolute hell, Cassidy exited leaving Karla and Owen to battle it out and well, they were insane. So good at the challenge that after three hours the tide literally started to turn, meaning the challenge would either have to go for another 12 hours or they could both have immunity. Which is obviously the option Probst and Co. went with. While Cody looked on with a big, telling grin.

Back at camp Sami was very nervous about there potentially being three people immune at the upcoming tribal council. As Karla and Owen spoke about how proud they were for making history, Cassidy felt heartbroken about the fact she tried so damn hard and still came up short. She was also very nervous about the fact people may target her to weaken Karla, given she is immune. She approached Karla to float the idea of getting rid of Sami and while she said she was on board, Karla immediately went to Sami and locked in the vote against Cassidy. We then got a supercut of telephone as Sami locked in Cody, Cody went to Jesse and then Jesse spoke to Gabler.

Sadly for the plan, Jesse wasn’t so sure it was best for his game and after confirming with Karla that she wants Cassidy gone, he immediately decided that getting rid of Sami is safest given he is so good at making fire. As Jesse filled Owen in on the plan, he floated the idea of flipping it on Sami instead, given it would have Cassidy and Karla fighting each other in the final six and make it easier for them to go to five. Which is genius. Owen agreed to go talk to Gabler while Jesse caught up with Cody, who agreed that making Karla look silly would be good though he still finds Sami more trustworthy than Cassidy.

Oh and Cody told us that he is immune after correctly backing Owen in the challenge.

At tribal council Probst gave a monologue about tides before Gabler spoke about the importance of the final seven tribal council at setting up the end game. And given three people are immune, it is even more terrifying than usual. Karla admitted the dance is both confusing and scary, while Owen was even more nervous, though maybe because he is always left out of the plans. Sami spoke about clearly being on the bottom and he reiterated he is a free agent, while Jesse mentioned it is crucial to never rule out someone as an option. Cassidy felt like the closer they got to the end the game changed to not just who needs to go but who you can beat, which makes every decision even harder.

Sami then straight up told everyone he would be playing his Shot in the Dark tonight and that if everyone told him the truth, his vote wouldn’t matter anyway. This irked Karla who called him out and told him it was offensive, while Gabler gave zero fucks and literally said he was planning to vote the way he was going to either way, so doesn’t care if Sami is performing. While Jesse reminded everyone he could also just be bluffing. With that the tribe voted and it wasn’t a bluff, as Sami played his Shot in the Dark – which didn’t give him safety – Cody announced his immunity to the tribe which was unnecessary as the tribe banded together to boot young Sami from the game. Meaning their gamble paid off.

As Sami arrived at tribal council, I licked a handkerchief and started wiping the dirt off his face as my long-lost parental instincts kicked in. I assured him he is a very good boy and that me and his family are so proud of not just the young man he has grown into, but the game that he played. While like young Julia from Kaoh Rong he got run over for playing in the middle, the fact that he managed to make it that far was impressive. As such, I gave him a pat on the back and toasted his run with a fresh and healthy Tofu Sani Choyadi Bow.

This vegetarian version of san choy bow is jam packed full of veggies – hidden for the kids, obviously – and even more so with flavour. Plus, you can feel super smug when you eat it since it is so healthy. Which is a personal fave flavour enhancer.

Enjoy!

Tofu Sani Choyadi Bow
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 ½ cups long grain white rice
1 tbsp vegetable oil
450g firm tofu, crumbled
1 medium carrot, peeled and diced
1 red onion, sliced
2 celery stalks, finely diced
10 fresh shiitake mushrooms, finely sliced
1 red capsicum, sliced
3 cloves garlic, finely sliced
1 tbsp palm sugar
2 tbsp soy sauce
3 tbsp oyster sauce
1 tsp sesame oil
3 tbsp shaoxing rice wine
1 iceberg lettuce, leaves removed
1 long red chilli, sliced
small handful coriander, leaves picked
sriracha hot sauce or hoisin, to serve

Method
Pop the rice and 2 ¼ cups of water in a medium saucepan and bring to the boil over medium heat. Once rollicking, reduce to low, cover and simmer, stirring occasionally, for 15 minutes, or until the liquid is absorbed and the rice is tender. Set aside, covered for 5 minutes to steam.

Heat the vegetable oil in a large frying pan or wok over high heat and add the tofu and cook, stirring for about five minutes, or until golden brown. Add the veggies and cook for a couple of minutes or until just tender. Add palm sugar, soy, oyster sauce, sesame oil and shaoxing, and cook stirring for a couple of minutes, or until the sauce thickens slightly.

To serve, divide the lettuce leaves among plates, top with rice, followed by the tofu mixture and a sprinkle of chilli, coriander and any sauces you like before devouring.


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Pancetta and Black Peppa Piperade

Breakfast, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK 4, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race UK the top four were tasked with their final, epic challenge for the crown. Writing and recording verses on a Ruple mega mix and performing it live on the mainstage alongside their fallen sisters Just May, Starlet, Copper – yep, it’s happening – Sminty, Baby, Le Fil, Dakota and Pixie. After a cheeky kiki with Ru and Michelle, obvi. Despite all four of the dolls killing the final challenge and serving stunning looks on the runway, the judges decided the final lip sync would be a two horse race and as such, kept Danny and Cheddar to fight for the crown and eliminated Jonbers alongside the iconic, lip sync assassin Peppa.

While I was heartbroken to miss out on one final lip sync from Peppa, I understand why the judges kept the final two around given their track records were so evenly matched. That being said, it didn’t make losing Peppa any easier.

Peppa exploded out of the gate in the very first episode, giving an iconic entry, an artistic photoshoot and perfection on the runway. And while she landed in the bottom a couple of times, she was never really bad, leading me to question whether Ru just wanted to see her turn out another show just like Alan and myself.

After shooing Jonbers away to finish off his pity burger, I pulled Peppa in for a hug and thanked her for not just being an icon, but also for gracing us with her presence. Because that honestly feels like the only appropriate way to react to seeing her perform. As such we laughed, held each other tight and toasted her run with a piping hot Pancetta and Black Peppa Piperade.

This little basque brunch number almost is almost the personification of Peppa herself, a little bit fiery with surprises dotted throughout – pancetta, in this case – and ultimately a positively lovely way to spend your time. Though instead of watching her perform, you eat.

Enjoy!

Pancetta and Black Peppa Piperade
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
olive oil
200g pancetta, cut into strips
1 red onion, diced
1 green capsicum, diced
1 red capsicum, diced
1 yellow capsicum, diced
800g can diced tomatoes
2 tbsp tomato paste
salt and pepper, to taste
4 eggs
¼ cup basil leaves, shredded
crusty bread, to serve

Method
Heat a small lug of olive oil in a deep frying pan or dutch oven and cook the pancetta and onion for about 10 minutes, or until the onion is soft and the pancetta crisp. Add the capsicums, tinned tomato and tomato paste with a good whack of salt and pepper. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for about 15 minutes, or until it has started to reduce slightly.

Make 4 wells in the stew and crack an egg in each. Cover and cook for 5 minutes or so, or until the whites are set and the yolks are to your liking. Sprinkle the basil over the top and serve immediately. Before devouring alongside a tonne of bread, because duh!


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Rice Paper Meroll Szolkeiwicz

Main, Poultry, Snack, Street Food, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Return of the Outcasts, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor South Africa the OG Masus continued to fight it out for power, unaware that the Yontau boys appeared to be quietly playing them off against each other. After an epic reward and immunity challenge which left Dino cursed from winning the game while taking out a car, the gloves came off as Meryl, Steffi and Marian’s alliance splintered. While the latter two had rallied the troops to get rid of Meryl, she had managed to charm enough people – or scare them due to her copious amount of advantages – as the tribe narrowly blindsided Steffi from the game.

Back at camp the mood was very tense as Marian well and truly felt left out and stupid for not taking the idol when she had the chance at the Outpost. Meryl meanwhile was busy trading off the advantage to Tejan as promised, with him thrilled to split the alliance up. As he anticipated, Marian was cussing out Phil for blindsiding her before going person to person to throw Meryl under the bus by outing all of her advantages. And while it was hardly news to Felix, it definitely was to Dino as he questioned whether he should have taken the other shot at the last tribal council.

The next day Meryl was feeling a little nervous after breaking up with her original alliance and joining with the people willing to save her. Marian caught up with Dino to find out what the vote was about and whether he would be willing to work with her, rather than Meryl. With Dino admitting that Meryl’s advantages really change things, and to us, now that Marian is isolated, he felt that they have far more to offer each other moving forward. Dino then showed her the advantage and offered to hand it over to her to build trust, before him sharing that he would be so proud to see her win the season and to be the ambassador of the game, rather than a goat floating along and sneaking out a win despite not doing anything.

Tejan and Meryl meanwhile were busy bonding over being the biggest threats, agreeing that now they only really have each other. Tejan asked how she felt about Dino, Phil and Felix, with her grateful to have been saved though that she was wary given they have been aligned from the start. We then dropped by the trio, who were catching up about the state of affairs within the tribe and to quickly prove that Meryl’s trust was misplaced as they immediately locked in a plan to get rid of her next. Knowing that everyone will be willing to join them. As such, Phil and Felix would stick to her like glue while Dino would keep things casual while rallying everyone else on the plan.

Back at the shelter Shane and Marian were catching up, with the latter trying to convince him that Dino can be trusted to get them further. While Shane was still focused on getting him out ASAP, given he is the only other truly strategic player outside of Marian. Though given he is kinda volatile, Marian girl, you’re in danger. Meryl and Phil dropped by camp, where Marian continued to give her the silent treatment which started to make Meryl upset given it is clear that their friendship is over. She approached Marian and asked what was going on and why she hadn’t looked her in the eye, which Marian denied while noticing that Meryl’s facade is starting to crack and that other people have also noticed.

Killarney was busy whispering to Dino saying that she was disappointed by the Steffi blindside, but was ready to make a move on Meryl. Which obviously puzzled him, given she is a good 18 hours late. Killarney then dropped by Tejan and Shane to tell them the plan is to get rid of Meryl and trust and believe, she is the one driving it. While Shane worried who the hell he is aligned with.

The next day Marian was still nervous about the state of all the shattered alliances. Particularly since her one consistent ally, Shane, is still focused on getting rid of Dino before Meryl. Marian tried to calmly explain that Meryl is feeling comfortable right now and as such, now is the time to blindside her, while Shane was just worried about her potential naivety in trusting Dino’s lies.

We finally got a sighting of sweet, zaddy Nico as the tribe reassembled for the latest immunity challenge where everyone would start behind a locked gate and manoeuvre a key through a peg puzzle before unlocking said gate and completing a block puzzle. Dino made quick work releasing his key and started work on his block puzzle in an instant. Felix and Phil soon joined him before Meryl and Shane broke through the gate and started on the second puzzle. After releasing her key, Marian casually sauntered through the gate before casually solving the block puzzle in no time at all and won individual immunity. While Killarney remained locked behind her gate and everyone was dumbfounded how she did it some quickly.

Back at camp Marian was giddy with her newfound safety, though was nervous about the prospect of Meryl playing her tribal council pass and ruining the blindside. Though she admitted that getting rid of Tejan wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Tejan meanwhile knew that he was also on the block, catching up with Felix to assure him that there are far bigger threats to worry about than him. Meryl meanwhile was floating playing the tribal council pass to Phil, who casually reminded her that they need her as a number which lead to her suggesting they send Marian back to camp without her vote instead. She quickly caught up with Phil, Dino and Tejan to talk about the genius plan, while Dino felt very awkward about being so active against her.

Killarney meanwhile was sauntering about, worried about all the whispering, while Tejan was loving being part of the plan. Sadly for him, it wasn’t the actual plan, which made Dino worry about whether they should let him be involved. Despite the fact he is a big risk of screwing up whatever the plan is. After Meryl filled Felix in on the plan, he caught up with Phil and Dino, with all of them feeling a little bit awkward about how easily things have come together for them given it makes them think something is wrong. Oh and then Phil told Marian about the tribal council pass plan and she was so excited to see it all come together, while Meryl started contemplating playing her 50/50 coin to exhaust all her little trinkets. And presumably lessen her target.

At tribal council Tejan was feeling confident in his place in the game given Marian and Meryl are now feuding. Meryl admitted that she has been a target for some time now, while Marian was sick of her pretending to be the victim when she could have just spoken to her allies if she was concerned. Marian spoke about how happy she was to save herself by winning immunity, particularly given the duo have so much tension between them now. She continued to play up being left out and having no strategic conversations today, while Meryl admitted she didn’t really talk to anyone either.

Talk turned to blending in, with Killarney hoping to slink through rather than stick out, while Dino spoke about them needing to outlast more than anything else in the motto. Though he would also like to see someone worthy take out the title this season. Meryl spoke about playing like a goat being a proven strategy, though that there is so much time left in the game that those who are deemed a goat now, could quickly make a name for themselves. Killarney brought up the fact that everyone values different things, while Meryl opened up about thinking about the jury while Marian said you should be mindful, rather than worried.

Before they headed off to vote, Meryl stood up and played the tribal council pass to send Marian back to camp. Sadly for Meryl, Marian then bequeathed individual immunity to Shane on her way out the door which is not something anyone considered. With that the tribe finally voted and despite her initial nerves before tribal council, Meryl stood firm and held on to her 50/50 coin, which sadly became a memento, as the tribe banded together to blindside her from the game.

Thankfully she took the exit on her chin, thrilled by the excitement of it all and kinda knowing her days were numbered anyway given she was far and away the biggest threat in the game. That being said, I didn’t take it with as much grace, screaming and crying that my dream final three had broken up, with two of them exiting the game back-to-back. After sweet Meryl pulled me in for a hug, she reminded me it is just a game and she holds no ill will. Which was enough to eventually dry my eyes and whip her up a victorious batch of Rice Paper Meroll Szolkeiwicz.

There is nothing better than a fresh rice paper roll. While it works essentially with any and all ingredients you want, these little Peking duck numbers are some of my faves. Sweet, spicy and packing a herbaceous punch, they are the perfect way to eliminate post-boot pain.

Enjoy!

Rice Paper Meroll Szolkeiwicz
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
12 rice paper rounds
80g vermicelli, soaked, drained and roughly chopped
¼ iceberg lettuce, finely shredded
¾ cup coriander, roughly chopped
¾ cup mint leaves
1 lebanese cucumber, sliced
1 carrot, peeled and grated
1 red capsicum, sliced
¾ bunch chives, sliced
2 peking duck breasts, sliced

Method
Start by prepping everything you need first as you’ll need to power on once you get started. Working one at a time, dip a rice paper round in a shallow bowl of warm water until soft before transferring to a dry, clean tea towel.

Place a small amount of vermicelli in the centre, followed by lettuce, coriander, mint, cucumber, carrot, capsicum and chives, before layering a few slices of duck. Roll one edge over, fold in both of the ends and continue to roll until it is sealed. Repeat until done.

Then devour, slathered in sriracha, hoisin or soy.


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KJ South Waustin Chicken Pizza

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Blood V Water, Main, Pizza, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Jordie somehow continued to evade certain doom and levelled up by going all in with Josh. Unaware that Josh was gladly riding the middle to get as far as possible. At the immunity challenge, Chrissy completely gave up on her own chances and instead coached Josh to win yet another immunity challenge, making Mark super nervous given everyone would clearly want to flush the idol. You know, should they ever believe he had that second one. After lying to literally everyone and telling them once more that he didn’t have an idol, he then had made an elaborate song and dance of playing said idol to send Jordie home. Only he never received a vote as the tribe piled them on Jordie instead, meaning it was a waste. And damn was Sam pissed.

Back at camp the final five celebrated making it as far as they have, while Chrissy frankly was just shocked to still be in the game. Which honestly, same, because she thought tribal council was called tribunal at the start. Chrissy meanwhile was thrilled to not only be free of Jordie but also that Mark burnt his idol for no bloody reason. She then explained how everyone left in the game absolutely loves her and wants to work with her, meaning she will gladly continue to stroll all the way to the top three. Meaning she either wins or is getting blindsided as the biggest threat tonight.

The next day the tribe had a joyous sleep in with everyone a little shell shocked to still be sleeping on the ground after 45 days. Mark meanwhile was feeling a little nervous and very stupid to have made such a massive blunder with the idol, admitting that he would be devasated to make it this far only to go home. As the tribe laughed at their luck that he burnt his idol, we got an emotional package about how he only left his son at home to earn the win and yeah, he is winning. Shut. It. Down. He caught up with KJ, Josh and Chrissy with them agreeing that they need to make sure Shay doesn’t win immunity and so they can get rid of her lest they want to be beaten at the final immunity challenge. 

After Josh reiterated just how desperate he was to win, particularly now that his partner is pregnant, we checked in with KJ who knew that Josh and Mark would both be gunning for her next round and as such, got to work locking in an all women alliance. While Chrissy wasn’t sure that she would be able to trust Shay to take her over the boys, KJ reiterated that there is no way either of them wins if the boys are at the end with them and as such, they need to at least try to move forward with Shay. Speaking of Shay, she knew her number would be up unless she wins immunity and as such, she was ready to fight. Because she can’t trust Chrissy to ever turn on the boys.

Just like that, the final five joined up with Jonathan for the second last immunity challenge of the season where they would each have to run up and down some stairs dropping balls into a ramp and catching them at the end before they smash their tile and eliminate them. With the last person standing scoring immunity. Everyone was obviously a-ok only having to manage a single ball, leading to Jonathan to add their second as Shay quietly ran the numbers in her head and damn I hope her maths gives her the win. 

Everyone was still in it on the third before a lapse in concentration led to KJ missing one and dropping out of the challenge. Josh’s bad maths eliminated him, leaving Mark, Shay and Chrissy to battle it out. Chrissy then cooked it as she dropped in her fourth ball, watching two roll back-to-back and eliminate her from the challenge before Mark straight up dropped a ball after catching it, handing Shay immunity. As Mark looked enraged and threw a ball at his tile in frustration, ignoring Shay and not even congratulating her.

Back at camp Shay was thrilled to have managed to save herself while everyone gave her their half-hearted congratulations. Chrissy laughed about how she was a hot mess, while Mark and Josh were straight up enraged to have to come up with another plan. Shay meanwhile told us that the person she does not want to face at final tribal council is Josh and as such, she was going to wield any influence she has left to get rid of him tonight. Josh meanwhile was feeling the pressure and while he knows Mark needs to go, he also would prefer to keep him around at the final four because it makes him the target instead.

Nervous of an all women’s alliance, Mark and Josh suggested their only path forward would be to pull Chrissy in and take out KJ instead. With that Josh pulled Chrissy aside and while he was firm that they need to get rid of KJ, she pointed out that she needs to finally pop something on her resume and as such, needs to make a move on one of the boys rather than follow them. KJ and Shay meanwhile were unsure whether they were able to trust Chrissy to turn on Josh and as such, KJ approached Mark to float the idea of getting rid of Josh. Which he readily agreed to, despite planning to stick with Josh and Chrissy to get rid of KJ instead. Which is bad for one of the boys games, though I’m not sure which one. Feeling uneasy about how quickly Mark jumped to their side, KJ then caught up with Chrissy to float the idea of turning on either of the boys. And while I have little faith, she continued to talk about how important it is for her to make a move and maybe, just maybe, she will finally jump ship and give us the winner we deserve. Ladies and gentleman, her.

Chrissy then caught up with Mark, admitting that Shay hasn’t even spoken to her since the challenge. While she was stuck firmly in the middle between the boys and the girls, Josh was confident he’d be able to convince her to stick with him. Josh and Mark went for a walk in the bush, with Josh admitting to being nervous about trusting in Chrissy this round. Which made Mark more and more nervous. And more and more likely to jump to Shay and KJ to get rid of Josh as the only way to guarantee his safety. Josh started to pop up every time KJ and Shay spoke to Mark, with KJ masterfully asking Mark what Sam would tell him to do at this moment. With Mark rightly pointing out that Sam would want Josh gone immediately.

While Shay still didn’t care who went out of the duo as she just wants all the women to make it to the end.

At tribal council Josh admitted that Shay winning immunity did ruin everyone’s plans, while Shay was obviously thrilled to only have one more endurance challenge – her favourite – between her and the final tribal council. While Mark admitted to being terrified now that he doesn’t have his idol. Chrissy mentioned there is always time for a blindside while Shay opened up about being quite popular back at camp. She then got distracted as Josh and Chrissy whispered behind her, with Josh working overtime to remind her they need to stick together should they have any chance of making it to the end. While Mark whispered to Shay and KJ to just stay firm and not worry.

KJ spoke about how they need to think about the jury management, as Josh reiterated to Chrissy that KJ is far more likely to get votes at the end over Mark. Josh then started whispering to Shay, leading to KJ opening up about feeling nervous though kinda being used to it since she is constantly a target. KJ then whispered to Shay, assuring her that she feels like Mark will stick with them while Josh tried to point out that everyone is a threat going into the final immunity challenge. Though in a sexist way. Chrissy tried to talk to the jury before admitting that there is still time to build a resume, which appeared to make Mark more and more nervous, admitting to Jonathan he will be voting with his gut tonight.

With that the tribe voted and thanks to Chrissy voting for Mark by herself, things were tied up between KJ and Josh meaning Chrissy, Shay and Mark had to revote. And given Chrissy was angry about KJ and Shay changing the vote from Mark and not telling her, she joined Mark in sending KJ from the game. As Josh smugly laughed at the jury.

I was obviously heartbroken to see KJ enter the Jury Villa, given she would have made such a compelling winner. I mean, do I wish she made some moves a little earlier than she did? Sure! But at the end of the day, she has fought from the bottom from early in the game, overcame the chaos of Sophie’s game, voted OUT her sister and then pivoted just one spot up whenever she needed to move herself from being the target. It was a hell of a story and a strong game that played into her strengths, which was more than enough to earn her a KJ South Waustin Chicken Pizza.

Though once again, I felt super guilty that a stinkin’ (great) pizza cost one of my faves the game! That being said, it is packed full over flavour and is oh so calming, it is hard to be angry for too long.

Enjoy!

KJ South Waustin Chicken Pizza
Serves: 2 dear friends.

Ingredients
2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
⅓ cup passata
oregano and basil, roughly chopped, to taste
olive oil
400g chicken breast, cut into strips
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 tsp chilli powder
1 tomato, diced
1 red onion, sliced
½ red capsicum, diced
2 tbsp jalapeños
½ cup corn kernels
½ cup black beans
⅓ cup sliced black olives
a small handful coriander, to taste
mozzarella, to taste

Method
Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions. Heat a lug of olive oil in a frying pan and cook the chicken for five minutes, turning, or until golden and crisp. Add the cumin, smoked paprika and chilli powder, stir and cook for a further minute before removing from the heat.

Preheat the oven to 180°C.

Smear passata over the prepared bases, sprinkle with the herbs, tomato, red onion, capsicum, jalapeno, corn kernels, black olives and coriander before topping, generously, with mozzarella.

Transfer to the oven and bake for fifteen minutes, or until bubbly and golden.

Serve and devour immediately, hopefully without burning your mouth.


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June Jambalaya

Main, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 14, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race the second batch of queens arrived to discover a half-used Werk Room before they were put through the same paces as their already-moved-in queens. Complete with a second first elimination. From start to finish, Angeria slayed more than Camden’s heart, oozing charm, personality and most importantly, all the damn polish. As such, she kicked off her debut with back to back mini and maxi challenge victories. At the other end of the spectrum, Daya and DeJa struggled with their performances and letting the judges know who they were, ultimately ending with sweet Daya being eliminated.

Backstage DeJa was shellshocked post lip sync, though was glad to have well and truly filled the dolls with nerves over her assassin ways. As they tried to process the loss of Daya, Alicia Keys popped up in the mirror to announce the arrival of the other six queens. And just like that, it was on. Kornbread was thrilled to see her seamstress DeJa was in the room, while Jasmine was thrilled to see Kerri given she is a superfan of her mother. The dolls spoke about who went home from each group with Kornbread talking about Orion’s short story while nobody batted an eyelid at the name Daya Betty from the Methyd dynasty. Most importantly, Willow was gagged to see a child other than Willow in the competition in the form of Jorgeous.

The next day the dolls were still trying to get to know each other while Bosco was just hoping to continue her streak of highs, despite the fact there are more girls. Ru dropped by and immediately welcomed Orion and Daya Betty back to the competition and well, I’ve been bamboozled!? Orion was thrilled for a second chance while Daya was just ready to prove all the girls wrong and let them know that she is a threat. Ru then followed this twist with another twist, where each doll would select a RuPaul candy bar and sign their name on it. Should the queens lip sync, the dolls are to take their chocolate bar to the runway and should they be eliminated, they open their choccie and if it is just that, they go home but if they grab a golden one, they get to remain.

So Survivor, does Willy Wonka, does Ru.

One by one the girls selected their bars before Ru announced that this week, the queens would be throwing a ball with each group getting a theme of their own. Group One would be running the Hide and Chic Ball, serving Zebra Print Resort, Leopard Evening Gown and serving a final Wedding Gown Eleganza, aka a self-made animal print delight.Meanwhile Group Two would be serving looks in the Red White and Blue Ball, rocking the rival runways of Red Hot Resort, Evening Gown Down – All In White – and Wedding Gown Eleganza in red, white and blue.

As soon as Ru departed, the dolls pillaged the supplies and quickly got to work on their final, showstopping looks. Bosco meanwhile was thrilled to be assigned animal print given it speaks to her on a deep level. She then kikied with Maddy about her heterosexuality, with Kornbread joining in and learning more about her girlfriend. Kerri then eavesdropped and only just  realised Maddy was straight and ugh, I love her.

Jasmine meanwhile was ready to prove her killer design skills, given she turns a new home-made look each week back at home. June on the flipside was starting to spiral, given she is not a crafty queen despite knowing how to style an outfit. And based on Bosco’s assessment of her ideas, she should be worried. DeJa meanwhile was feeling confident, ready to show the judges everything she’s got. Kerri meanwhile had no idea how to sew, but thankfully Jasmine is so starstruck by the Colby name that she was willing to do anything for her. While the outfit looked a mess, Kerri was feeling her oats and that was enough to make Bosco happy.

Then the dolls found a dead dragonfly on the floor, which Kornbread offered to pay Daya $1000 if she would eat it. AND SHE DID.

Willow meanwhile was struggling with the sewing given her fingers were too cold but thankfully, Kornbread is a delight and helped her with her pinning and got her a warm cup of water to help get the feeling back to her feelings and UGH, I love them both so much. Jorgeous meanwhile was giving a sexy silhouette in the hope of finding a man while Daya was hoping to dazzle the judges with frills and an ‘80s bridesmaid inspired look. Maddy was inspired with an old fashioned American wedding look, while Willow felt she was more inspired by Colonel Sanders.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to get ready as June pulled Orion aside to welcome her back to the competition, by explaining she wasn’t thrilled to see her return. But is now ok with things. Angeria meanwhile was busy flooding Lady Camden’s basement with her accent as she bonded with Willow and spoke about their drag styles. Orion opened up with Daya and Jasmine about her mom taking her own life a few years ago, admitting that she took up drag because of her mother and how she is dedicating her ball looks to her. And ugh, now I want Orion to win.

Kerri, Kornbread and Angeria meanwhile were talking about Kerri’s coming out journey. As Kerri spoke about being kicked out of home as a child, Kornbread started to sob as she shared that she too had to move out of home during high school. Kornbread went outside to compose herself before opening up with her sisters about how she is still trying to process her childhood traumas, though admitted that it would have to wait because they need to focus on the runway.

Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined on the judges panel by Christine Chiu from Bling Empire. Alyssa opened the Zebra Print Resort runway giving me ski-sexy though was allegedly a jockey. Bosco thankfully slayed in an apres ski bodysuit. Willow meanwhile was a pastel delight as a mum heading to the hotel bar. Kerri was a stunning teenage belle while Kornbread slayed in a balck and white pantsuit before Orion slayed as an extra from Heathers. And June was perfect as a rich, sexy socialite. For the Red Hot Resort looks, Daya Betty slayed as a cross between a Simpsons character and Cindy Brady. Angeria was perfect in a red, mod number while DeJa was perfect in a floor length gown. Jasmine was beautiful as a lobster pin-up, Gorgeous was a Miami party girl while Lady Camden looked straight out of Studio 54’s resort off-shoot. Maddy meanwhile slayed in a jumpsuit, complete with a very white attempt at a twerk.

On the Leopard Evening Wear runway, Alyssa was an architectural dame, giving all the curves. Bosco gave clashing patterns and looked like a dream while Willow was a 90s delight in black on black leopard print. Kerri had a spinning fascinator and was a stunning CEO in a purple pantsuit while Kornbread was a vamp in black leopard. Orion was the sexiest hunter to take the stage before June was gorgeous in her too flowy gown that had her tripping down the runway. Daya slayed the Evening Gown Down runway in an all white, sexy choir outfit. Angeria gave the sexiest pastor known to man, DeJa gave a similar vibe though sadly following Angeria, didn’t stand out. Jasmine meanwhile was a delight in a frilled and fringed mini, while Jorgeous was an absolute goddess in a simple, fitted gown before Lady Camden was tied up in bows. And then Maddy was perfect in a dramatic moon and star gown and headpiece.

For the Animal Print Bridal Couture runway, Alyssa was a hoop-skirted delight in golden animal print. Bosco slayed, giving Betty Page does Cruella de Vil, while Willow gave clashing prints in a bridal pantsuit. Kerri meanwhile was feeling her oats despite the sloppy outfit. Kornbread was a sexy, snake print delight despite it also being a little sloppy. While Orion gave a polished outfit, giving the perfect hourglass with Peggy Bundy does the Flintstones. And June was a jungle delight, though literally hid behind a bouquet the entire walk. On the red white and blue Bridal Couture, Daya stepped out of Crystal’s shadow by making a replica of Crystal’s promo look. Angeria was perfect in a tight red gown with a white snowflake on the front. DeJa was stunning in a textured red mermaid gown, while Jasmine served stars and stripe realness. Gorgeous was a sequined delight while Lady Camden was a clash of fabrics, a little tacky but totally hilarious. While Maddy gave a literal Americana gown, thrilled to finally get married.

Alyssa, Bosco, Kerri, Kornbread, Daya, DeJa, Jasmine and Lady Camden were sent to safety backstage where they immediately agreed that they were grateful to be safe on the ball, despite some of them thinking they should have done better. Jasmine was the first to admit she felt she should have been in the top, annoying Daya who felt she definitely shouldn’t have been in the top. Alyssa meanwhile was disappointed because she came into the competition, desperate to win the Ball. Jasmine praised Camden for doing such a good job on the runway, though Camden admitted she really felt she was lucky to be safe. Kerri spoke about just wanting a little bit of feedback, while returnee Daya just wanted everyone to be happy and for them to kinda calm down.

Daya opened up about how happy she was to be in the competition and as such, was overjoyed to be safe. Kerri praised her for bringing such a different vibe into the competition and encouraged her to believe in herself. Though then the dolls opened up about being annoyed to see two extra dolls come back into the competition, Kornbread admitted she was frustrated, though still believes they all deserve to be there. Kornbread spoke about how good her outfit turned out despite her skills, before DeJa and Jasmine jumped in to claim their help. Kerri meanwhile was just thrilled to make it through the ball, while Jasmine said she would need help writing lyrics when they get to those challenges, given that is where she struggles.

Which surprised Daya, since she doesn’t shut up.

Talk turned to who would land in the bottom with Kornbread worried for her sister June, while Alyssa essentially wanted everyone to lip sync for their lives.

Meanwhile on the mainstage, Willow received universal praise for everything she served this week. Particularly given how strong her final look was and how perfect her workmanship is. Orion was praised for serving a beautiful mug and boy did she know it. Sadly, Michelle wasn’t thrilled by the lack of diversity in her looks while Ru just wanted her to give a little less. Which TBH, is the opposite of this show, but I digress. June meanwhile received praise for her first look before being read for filth for her second and third, particularly given she was clearly ashamed of her final look.

Angeria received praise for everything she did this week, with the judges particularly thrilled by her styling skills. Jorgeous too received universal praise for her first two looks, though the judges weren’t thrilled by the Evil Kenevil look she made as a wedding gown. Oh and she is winning the season, because Ru said she is born for drag, so I guess we can just pack this up?. Maddy was read for being a bit too pedestrian in the first category and not giving enough personality in her second look. While they lived for the personality she gave in her final look.

The two groups reconnected with Willow opening up about how much the judges lived for her. On the flipside, the dolls worried it would be a rematch between June and Orion in the lip sync. Kerri shared that she was worried June was feeling defeated all episode, as Kornbread jumped in to give her a pep talk before all her new sisters surrounded her with love. June opened up about how June has given her the power to embrace all the parts of herself and feel whole. Maddy opened up about her fears being in the bottom before Jasmine told any nervous girls to get prepping for the lip sync. 

As June demanded Alyssa take off her shoes and started to break down, Maddy calmly downed her drink in the corner while Orion watched on. Though given Angeria told her she wouldn’t be lip syncing, maybe she is right to just chill. Oh and then Maddy fired up in front of the mirror as she got ready for battle.

Ultimately Jorgeous was deemed safe before Willow took out a well earned victory, meaning Angeria too, was safe. At the other end of the spectrum, Orion found herself narrowly avoiding the bottom as June and Maddy were tasked with lip syncing for their lives. To our Kylie’s I Love It. Maddy was cute and energetic, giving loved-up diva while June was fierce and ferocious. She gave wig reveals and pulled her outfit apart, while Maddy just felt her oats and turned out a show. As she avoided the trip hazard that was the remnants of June’s outfit. Ultimately Maddy was able to save herself, leaving June to open her candy bar and tragically comie up chocolate. Making her the third first boot of the season, though the first one to officially stick.

While June was heartbroken by the time she made her way into my arms backstage, I had well and truly got my ‘being the first boot is better than coming anywhere outside of the top 6’ line perfected and her mood quickly lifted. Though this time I also included the fact that doing what she was able to do in her two episodes while still a baby drag queen is super impressive and she needs to focus on the path ahead. Because her future is oh so bright. I know, I know, it was so kind of me even I was confused by who was speaking, as such, I served her the only thing I could, a delicious June Jambalaya.

Jambalaya is one of the easiest, tasty meals you can throw together. I mean, sure, this is probably not the most authentic you can have, but when you’re slapped in the face with flavour half an hour after you start making it, you won’t be complaining.

Enjoy!

June Jambalaya
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
olive oil
1 onion, diced chopped
1 red capsicum, cored and cut into strips
5 garlic cloves, minced
1 tbsp cajun seasoning
2 chorizos, cut into thick coins
500g pork steaks, sliced
4 cups chicken stock
400g can crushed tomatoes
1 ¾ cups long-grain rice
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Heat a good lug of olive oil in a large frying pan over medium heat and when hot, saute the onion and capsicum for about five minutes. Add the garlic, cajun spice and chorizo and cook, stirring, for a couple of minutes, or until fragrant and the chorizo is releasing its spicy juices.

Add the pork and cook, again stirring, for five minutes, or until cooked in the gorgeously red oils. Stir through the stock and tomatoes before bringing to a boil. Add the rice, reduce heat to a simmer and cook for up to 20 minutes, or until the liquid has almost all absorbed.

Then devour immediately, thinking how well you will go in your second season.


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Serena ChaChagine

Main, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 5, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on … hang on, wait a minute. Why do I always do this?! I mean, the ads even told us it was a Ru dawn and a Ru day. And now, well, that day is here. At midnight in the US, which honestly is perfect for me Down Under. 

But I digress.

A’Keria C. Davenport was the first to ru-turn to the Werk Room looking like a vision in all gold, she was joined by Jiggly and ugh, I live for her and am so glad she is back, fully embracing herself as a strong, gorgeous woman, in a little black dress to boot. Next up was Jan, living her Jantasy despite the jandemic and I hate myself for loving her and her jan-do spirit as much as I do. Particularly since she knows she was an 11 at all times last season. She was joined by Ra’Jah O’Hara in a gorgeous purple and blue jumpsuit and she is happy, friendly and ready to prove that she is a damn icon. Then Ginger Minj arrived looking a mess as a toad, but damn am I thrilled to see her back after her sub-par performance in All Stars 2.

Particularly for her warts joke.

Yara Sofia arrived for her third turn, manic, crazed and barking like a dog and OH SHIT, have I missed her. Despite not loving Silky very much, her entry was iconic with a full glass of milk in her titties and ugh, will I actually love them all this season? Supporting that theory, my love Pandora Boxx returned looking stunning, complete with butt puns and gah, it is so good to have her back. Particularly if Rob Anderson manifested her being paired with Serena and there being no other pairs. Scarlet Envy was next to join the fray, with her season 11 nemesis Ra’jah living and well, it makes me so happy. Oh and speaking of Serena, she is back and damn, did she have a glow-up because it is time to cha-cha bitch. 

Sonique finally arrived and owned the entries, quoting the transphobic entry line and reclaiming it as her own. It is powerful, she is funny and damn, I am SO glad to have her back. Next up was Trinity K Bonet, still charming and ready to slay, with Bianca’s encouragement playing in her head this go around rather than her inner saboteur. Last up was Eureka for her sixteenth attempt at the crown, this time with All Stars lips. And thankfully, still serving killer looks.

With that, Ru finally arrived to inform the largest All Stars cast EVER that they would still be a democracy this season, with everyone voting. And then alluding to a game within a game. But then changed the subject to the 14th queen, who it turns out was just the legendary Miss Piggy, who would be overseeing the reading challenge.

Kylie Sonique Love kicked things off reading A’Keria for being another losing Davenport, TKB went in on Ra’Jah for being an early out and Silky for being a mess, Jiggly destroyed Pandora for having no fans and Serena for being an alternate. Ra’Jah then arrived and savaged former-nemesis Scarlet’s beard, Eureka went in on Ginger’s relationship and then Pandora killed reading Eureka for being there. And then Ginger rightly got a supercut of destroying all of them. Serena was given the rattlesnake edit before Yara was demented and delightful, Jan tried to read Sonique but was read back in return before A’Keria was mean about Ra’Jah’s chances in the competition, Scarlet went for A’Keria butt implants and Silky was confusing but eventually got one in on Eureka.

Obviously Ginger took out victory, before Ru announced that they would be competing in the traditional premiere variety show. Which saw them all quickly split up, snatch a station and kiki. Ra’Jah and Serena were both ready to rewrite their narrative this season and prove that they are stars, before Ra’Jah celebrated the diversity of the cast. Besties Ginger and Jiggly caught up and were delightfully ridiculous, with Ginger knowing that she shouldn’t join the bitter old lady brigade again. Silky meanwhile praised Serena’s glow-up and celebrated her return, while Ra’Jah admitted her strategy was to get to the top and then stay there. And I am living for this version of Ra’Jah.

Elimination Day arrived with Eureka sharing that she’d be doing a song about her mother, while Sonique was doing a song to reintroduce herself to the fandom. Meanwhile Trinity K Bonet was just hoping to break the comedy show curse, given it was her choice to do stand-up. As they got ready Scarlet and Sonique spoke about what the game within a game could be, with all the girls derailing it by talking about whether they have a strategy. Silky laid out that she is not planning to play games and wanted to be fair, while TKB was nervous about being a bit of an island in the cast since everyone had friends or former castmates joining them.

At the variety show Jan mocked her face crack moment after being announced safe, then slayed her vocal performance about living her Jantasy. Pandora was charming and stupid and ugh, THIS is the Pandora I love, as she lip synced like a maniac, complete with titty confetti. Jiggly’s song and dance, to her own Jiggly-centric rap was a bop, Kylie was GORGEOUS as a golden burlesque singer – sans Wagon Wheel Watusi.

Oh AND THEN RA’JAH SEWED A DRESS IN 60s, I SHIT YOU NOT. I CAN’T GET OVER IT.

A’Keria gave a technicolour lip sync that had Michelle gagging, despite the green lighting. And then, ugh, Trinity bombed her comedy show. Badly, despite reading her grandma for filth. Eureka had a surprisingly good voice while singing live, complete with projections on her dress. Scarlet then dazzled with a bubble burlesque number which was both fresh and iconic. Silky then straight up played piano and sang gospel, Serena promoted her wig line, Ginger gave a poppy performance of perfection and then Yara was ridiculous as she bounced her titties all over the stage. Which was iconic, despite nobody knowing what was happening.

After Ru reiterated the rules, Eureka, A’Keria, Jiggly, Jan, Kylie, Scarlet and Ginger were sent to safety. As the dolls untucked backstage, Jiggly was thrilled to have survived the first week while Ginger was happy to at least have won the reading challenge and to prove herself. Again. Jan threw out another Jan pun, while Eureka asked the girls to help her strip off to take a seat. She then charmed the girls by saying that she was shocked they weren’t the tops, while Ginger expected Silky to win despite Scarlet being sure it was Yara’s on lock, giving how much Ru was living.

Jiggly identified TKB as a bottom, while Eureka felt Pandora would be joining her along with Serena. Ginger loved that she got a plug in for her wig line, before Jan celebrated that she wasn’t even annoyed about being safe. And Scarlet was thrilled to be feeling joy this time, as was A’Keria. Kylie shared that she was sprialling before starting the competition, though was ready to show that she had grown thanks to Ru. Eureka then broke down about losing her mum and was so endearing, leading to Jiggly talking about how much Eureka’s tribute to her mum meant to her. 

Jiggly then spoke about how she spent so long doing sex work to survive, that she didn’t even realise that she was broken on her first season. She and Kylie told the group about growing after coming out as trans and it was such a beautiful, loving conversation to have and I am so glad they are so open to sharing. Ginger spoke about how she didn’t even recognise who she was on Season 7, talking about how much hate she got that she still doesn’t even know how she processed it. Eureka praised her for being a trailblazer for big girls, before Sonique gave them all a pep talk about how them being so vulnerable and open is what makes them special. 

Oh and Ginger then spoke about the positives of meeting fans, with Scarlet admitting that she was one such fan of Ginger’s in the past. And then Jan reminded us that season 12 really had the worst experience, given she hasn’t even toured as a Ru girl so is still waiting to meet fans.

Back on the mainstage,  Silky was read for not fully taking it there in her performance, despite looking gorgeous and literally playing the piano live. Trinity’s look was praised though she was read for her obvious bomb. Ra’Jah received universal praise for her dress in 60 seconds number, as did Yara for her ridiculous tiddy-shaking performance. And I am so happy for her. Pandora’s joyous brand of ridiculous was praised for serving comedy, while poor Serena was read for not exactly executing the performance given everything else looked so beautiful and polished. Ultimately Yara took out the first victory of the season, while Pandora and Ra’Jah were deemed safe, as was Silky. Meaning either TKB or Serena were going home.

Talk turned to the voting backstage, with the girls talking about their strategies with Kylie admitting that she knows well enough not to share her strategy. They were interrupted by the tops and bottoms returning from their critiques, with Yara giddy to announce her victory to the safe girls, before Trinity and Serena shared they were in the bottom. Yara pulled Serena aside, with the latter sharing that she is heartbroken to be in the bottom after all these years. Meanwhile TKB shared that she doesn’t even know what happened at the variety show, though plead her case to the girls, reminding them she is here to prove herself. The bottoms switched places – how versatile – with Serena telling the girls she is here to fight too, while TKB reminded Yara about how much she wants to be there.

And Yara was just straight up confused. 

With that, the dolls voted and Yara made her way to the mainstage where she learnt that she would be facing off against Coco Montrese and oooooh, gurl – you in danger Yara! As soon as Bruno Mars’ Uptown Funk started, both the dolls were ready to fight, but honestly, Coco is just SO good at lip syncing. Even while Yara was stripping and bouncing her titties, Coco was hitting every letter and proving why she is arguably THE lip sync assassin of the franchise. Again, she is just so good. With that, she took out victory and had to reveal that the group had voted to eliminate the delightfully redeemed Serena ChaCha.

Serena was crushed to unanimously be booted from the game by the group, particularly since Yara voted for Trinity and could have changed things with her victory. That being said, my dear Serena was delightful as she wrote her farewell message, before breaking down to discover the other queens’ notes praising her for her growth and charm. Oh and seeing the massive Serena ChaChagine I had waiting to celebrate her rudemption.

Rich and hearty, despite not having a meat in sight, this tagine is a pure delight. And while that was an accidental rhyme, you know I deliberately left that in. Because like the tagine, it is fun and full of flavour. Right?

Enjoy!

Serena ChaChagine
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
1 pinch of saffron
olive oil
6 garlic cloves, minced
2 tbsp ginger, minced
1 tsp ground cumin
½ tsp ground cinnamon
2 tsp ras el hanout
1 tbsp tomato paste
¼ butternut pumpkin, diced
1 eggplant, diced
2 carrots, sliced into coins
1 onion, cut into segments
1 red capsicum, cut into strips
1 yellow capsicum, cut into strips
1 potato, cut into eighths
salt and pepper, to taste
400g tin diced tomatoes
400g tin chickpeas, drained and rinsed
100g dried apricots, roughly chopped
couscous, mint, flaked almonds, yoghurt and harissa, to serve

Method
Place the saffron in a cup measure and infuse in 1 cup of boiling water.

Meanwhile, heat a lug of oil in a tagine over a medium heat and sweat the garlic, ginger, cumin, cinnamon and ras el hanout for a minute or two, or until nice and fragrant. Add the tomato paste and cook it off for a few minutes before loosening with the saffron infused water.

Stir in the myriad of diced and sliced veg before adding the tinned tomatoes, chickpeas and apricots with a good whack of salt and pepper. Give a good stir, bring to the boil, cover and reduce heat to low and simmer for half an hour or so, or until the veg are tender.

To serve, layer your bowl with a dollop of couscous, followed by the tagine and whatever combination of herbs, yoghurt, harissa and almonds float your boat. And then devour, like a rudeemed champion.


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Jason Porkstein Chow Mein

Main, Street Food, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Immunity Island, TV, TV Recap

After the longest, darkest off season Survivor is back. No not the Jiffy Pop brand of Survivor but a Survivor, and since Nico my love is super hot, you’re going to buckle in. Whether you like it or not, ok? Because this is Survivor SA.

We opened with my dear Nico, perilously close to a cliff face on the southern tip of Africa, filling me with fear and dread since we’ve all lived through enough in the last 18 months. I mean, that was worse than the Game of Thrones series finale. Anyway, my mood perked up when we met Tyson who is a babe and just like that, I love him. We followed him with Jason who is thrilled to have a homeground advantage being in SA, despite everyone having the same advantage. Though it turns out Amy kinda proved Jason may actually be correct, since she has no idea what to fear IN HER OWN COUNTRY.

Though maybe that is because in Australia, we just assume all bugs and snakes will kill you.

My hair twin Qieän was living for lady Rupert who we learnt is called Santoni. She in turn is scared by how built Marisha is and Anesu was intimidated by a shirtless old zaddy called Shaun. Nicole is looking forward to being underestimated, shirtless zaddy was shirtless so I didn’t absorb much information aside from his passion for backstabbing while sweet Pinty was pumped to be honest – no Queen Pinty. Nico then introduced us to the conceptImmunity Island which appears to be the same as Island of Secrets, which was fun and not overpowered, so I’ll let it slide.

Oh and Thoriso is ready to win, Wardah is ready to practice her mindfulness and Renier is excited to prove himself. And Tyson swung back around to tell us he will win. So I’m going to say he actually will win. As much as I love most of the cast.

The castaways finally joined Nico for an official welcome to the game where Santoni spoke about her weird and whimsical ways and damn, I love her. Tyson again reminded us he is here to win and again, I’ll listen. Until I realised Chappies was showing off his beautiful gams because now he has won something. My heart. Oh and Marisha the strong was charming and iconic, and I feel deep within my waters that I’m really going to enjoy her.

Nico explained that someone will head to Immunity Island after losing an immunity challenge. Once there they will be faced with a challenge offering them advantages and disadvantages. But that is all he was willing to share at this stage.

Nico instead announced that they would be split into two tribes based on random draw with Amy, Anela, Dino, Jason, Marisha, Nicole, Qieän, Renier, Shaun and Thoriso landing on Zamba and Vuna made up of Anesu, Carla, Chappies, Kiran, Mike, Pinty, Paul, Santoni, Tyson and Wardah. Nicole was thrilled to be on the tribe with buff queen Marisha, while Paul was annoyed to be the only buff guy on the weaker looking Vuna tribe. Though Anesu thinks orange is a colour of abundance and therefore, didn’t care. And now, I vote for her to win. Oh and Thoriso was annoyed to be with the buff squad while Amy was thrilled to be with them, as Wardah was loving the energetics of her tribe. And then Jason talked smack about his rivals’ chill ways.

But enough set-up, the tribes were immediately tasked with running into the jungle to grab as many supplies as possible in two minutes. Oh and to make things more complicated, there were two immunity necklaces for each tribe that are good for their first tribal. As they ran off Renier knew not to go for immunity and instead to look out for an advantage amongst the loot, while everyone ran around like mad for the fruit and snacks. While Dino it turns out, was the one to make a run for his tribe’s immunity necklace. And nobody from Vuna snagged one. Dino was thrilled to not become the first boot, though was nervous about what it could potentially mean for his game. Nico then announced that there was also a brown envelope with a tribe advantage in it, but the person had to reveal who they were to receive it. With Renier thrilling his tribe by the fact that he grabbed it, but I can’t help but feel the secrecy may come back to bite him. And you guessed it, I love him.

Particularly since Nico told them that Renier is a game player. Though he did win the tribe camp comfort supplies, so maybe they won’t worry too much.

With that the tribes grabbed their maps and headed off to their camps, ready to start the game. We first checked in with Zamba where Dino was apologising for grabbing the immunity necklace before the tribe went on a group trip through the jungle to get water and to get to know each other. Meanwhile at Vuna they was far more chill about things as they got to work and hanging as a pack, talking about not working too hard and just doing a temporary shelter to get them going. Chappies meanwhile was wooing me as he rubbed two sticks together in his undies to try and make fire.

We bounced back to Zamba where Renier was happy to let other people take a leadership role in the tribe and paint a target on their backs. And given how the tribe grew more and more frustrated as they attempted to build their shelter, Jason girl, you’re in trouble. Well other than Shaun and Qieän who were desperately searching through the supplies for a flint or an idol. Which Amy noticed and immediately reported to Renier, Dino, Jason and Anela. And all of them were thrilled to have a target on someone else’s back. Oh and during the conversation we learnt that Nicole and Marisha were also aligned, apparently.

At Vuna Pinty and Chappie waded in the shores and quickly aligned, Kiran and Anesu aligned in the shrubs due to attending the same university before Kiran roped Carla, Mike and Tyson into their alliance. Oh and Anesu was quick to align with Wardah, given they are both influencers and Wardah thinks Anesu should keep her career as a doctor secret. And then Wardah caught up with Tyson and aligned with him too as Chappies and Pinty tried to recruit Anseu. But let’s be honest the main take away is that everyone wants to align with Anesu. And who wouldn’t because she is now my winner’s pick.

That night Zamba were sleeping under their shelter on the ground while Vuna struggled to stay dry in the rain. Though Carla proved herself to be a damn icon and that truly matters to me.

Zamba woke up dry and comfortable on day two, ready to finish their shelter and make things more comfortable while Thoriso worried about getting herself up from the bottom of the totem pole. As such, she set her sights on Shaun and his brash lack of people skills and turning people against him.

Before she could get to that, treemail arrived tasking each tribe with sending one champion to go and battle creating fire using a flint, with the winner securing a fire making kit for their tribe. Chappies and Jason were each nominated, with Thoriso quickly surmising that by nominating Jason the tribe appear to trust him and as such, she had another target in her sights. In any event, Jason and Chappies joined Nico with the latter trying to intimidate Jason by pretending they already have fire. Which Jason rightly called bullshit on. But more importantly, I think they should date. In any event, both of the boys were quick to get a flame but Chappie ultimately smoked the competition and secured reward for his tribe.

Oh and then Nico gave them diplomatic immunity, meaning both of them now have the power to mutiny from their tribe after losing immunity but only before the merge. Which could be really interesting.

Back at camp Chappies was quick to share his victory with the tribe though wisely kept quiet about his power to defect, should he need it. While Mike pondered whether something else happened at the challenge, Chappies invoked Zaddy John and got naked and ran into the water as a dick-straction. So basically, I love Chappies and would die for him. Meanwhile at Zamba, Jason was heartbroken to have lost and he too kept his mouth shut about his immutinity. Queen Thoriso meanwhile was frustrated by the fact the loss won’t really change anything for Jason and right on cue, he wandered off to align with Shaun.

That night at Vuna, the tribe joyously gathered around fire and basked in the warmth and victory as they roasted their veggies.

The next day Nico returned for the first immunity challenge of the season where the tribes would swim out to retrieve rope rungs from buoys before using them to build a rope ladder to get to a second level of a tower where they would need to solve a rope ladder puzzle and then venture to the top floor and wait wait wait, I’ve missed this, solve a puzzle. Renier got Zamba off to a slight lead over Chappies, which Paul quickly closed as Jason was felled by knots. Vuna continued to hold on to their lead, building their ladder while Zamba desperately tried to close the gap. Until Santoni struggled and the tribes became neck and neck. Zamba got their start on the second ladder first, getting to the final level while Vuna languished on the second. But then the puzzle happened, as Vuna smoked them and snatched the first immunity thanks to Queen Anesu. As Dino begged Paul to save him and send him to immunity island.

Sadly for him, the tribe went with my Queen Thoriso. Which is the only answer I was willing for them to make.

We followed Thoriso off to Immunity Island where she learnt that she had earned immunity for herself, as well as food, shelter and fire. But obviously there was a cost, where she could face a challenge for another advantage and risk losing her vote at the next tribal. Though if she doesn’t play, she has to return to the tribe and hand over the immunity necklace to someone else. Obviously she opted for the challenge and got digging in a sandpit to find a red ball within a couple of minutes, which she sadly failed at and ended up losing her vote.

Back at camp Shaun was annoyed by Dino trying to align with the other tribe while Amy languished over being the reason they lost the challenge. Dino acknowledged that he was trying to woo the other tribe and Rinna it (aka owning it) to his advantage. Thankfully for him, Amy, Nicole and Marisha didn’t care as they desperately wanted Qieän gone first and were willing to join him. Meanwhile Jason and Anela – aka Smash – were catching up about who best to target and focused on the scramblers, which made Jason nervous given he is aligned with Shaun. In fact, it made Jason so nervous while trying to protect Shaun that Anela started to think Jason needed to go. 

Shaun meanwhile was busy searching everywhere for the idol.

Renier joined Jason to talk plans and while they were aligned, Renier grew nervous about Jason’s unpredictability. And immediately got to work turning the vote on Jason. The girls quickly got on board, but only if Smash was willing to join them. Then Jason and Renier spoke to Dino about the vote, with Renier earning icon status by pointing at Jason to let Dino know to vote for him. While Jason was confused as to why he was holding his hand up the entire conversation. Meanwhile Shaun was desperately trying to get Anela to protect him, surmising that since nobody has given him a name, he is clearly the name. Which really upset Qieän, given it was a sign that she will be an early boot.

At tribal council Thoriso rejoined her tribe, completely unaware that even without immunity she would have been safe tonight. Shaun spoke about the nervousness caused by the backstabbing of the previous day as people were looking to build their alliances. Jason spoke about the beautiful friendships they are already forming, before Shaun cut in to tell them that friendship is nothing and they need strength to make it to the merge. Amy spoke about focusing on trust as her deciding factor while Shaun continued to try and cut in, this time talking about working hard and being above board with everything. With Anela cutting him off to point out the target was on his back because he was searching through the food for an advantage.

Shaun said he was actually trying to find bad fruit to dispose of it before it ruins the rest of their food. Shaun told them that if they felt he had an idol, they should have gone through his bags or at least asked him. Because that is how you build trust. Thoriso was thrilled to have immunity amongst such uncertainty, while Shaun pointed out that he would always be the target. And then instead opted to remind everyone that Dino is trying to build bonds with people on the other tribe. Thankfully that was brushed over as Thoriso was forced to announce that she doesn’t have a vote at tribal, which didn’t bother Jason because one vote doesn’t really matter should you have the numbers.

Which he tragically learnt he didn’t as he was blindsided – genuinely, I might add – as the first boot. Much to the shock and delight of Shaun, who didn’t receive a single vote. He was gutted but delightful, given he is such a babe and as such, I was thrilled to fill me, hard, to the brim with some Jason Porkstein Chow Mein.

Spicy, sticky and oh so sweet, these noodles are near perfection. A little bit of hit, full of fresh veggies and packed with my other other favourite white meat. Noodles and stir fry are always a winner, particularly if you’re the first boot.

Enjoy!

Jason Porkstein Chow Mein
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
5 garlic cloves, crushed
1 tbsp minced ginger
¼ cup shao hsing
⅓ cup oyster sauce
¼ cup soy sauce
¼ tsp ground white pepper
1 tbsp vegetable oil
500g pork mince
1 onion, sliced
1 red capsicum, sliced
400g tin baby corn
1 cup snow peas, trimmed
2 tbsp minced chilli
440g fresh chow mein noodles
1 cup wombok, sliced
4 shallots, sliced green

Method
Mix the garlic, ginger, shao hsing, oyster sauce, soy sauce and pepper together in a jug and leave to rest.

Place a wok over medium-high heat and add half the vegetable oil and quickly stir fry the mince until cooked through. Add half the sauce and cook until sticky and browned. Transfer to a bowl to cook.

Heat the rest of the oil in the wok and add literally everything but the noodles, wombok and shallots. Stir fry for a couple of minutes and then add the remaining ingredients and cook for a few minutes.

Remove from heat, serve immediately and devour. Joyously. Because a Survivor is back and Jason is as gorgeous as a stir fry.


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