Second Boot

David Genutella Sundaes

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: All Stars, Australian Survivor: Champions vs. Contenders (2019), Dessert, Snack, Survivor: Australia V The World, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor, seven icons from Australia lined up against seven legends of the game from around the world. With six wins between them. Seven if you count DONDI, which is kinda-sorta cannon, now. In any event, given Shonee and Kirby weren’t overly connected on the Aussie tribe, they quickly aligned. With Shonee focused on getting revenge against George (and probs David, given she loves a revenge arc). Knowing he was screwed, George proposed working with David and Luke, however the duo had zero interest. And after David beasted his way to victory in the immunity challenge, it didn’t really matter. Yet. The global players were out for blood with the US players, with Rob bossily pushing for Parvati to go. Sadly for him, Lisa wanted to work with Cirie and convinced the global faction to band with the US to get rid of him instead, making sure Parvati’s birthday was saved.

The next day we checked in with Luke who was busy being a millenial, telling everyone that he has taken up bird watching. While he said that, however, he was obviously hunting for idols. And dishing out his stolen bananas to his new bestie Shonee and perma-bestie David. Even though he knows he can’t actually trust the latter. In any event, he jagged the idol and just like that – RIP, you terrible masterpiece – he became the most powerful player in the game. Well, for now. We all saw Parv Parv at tribal council, so an idol can’t really stop her.

Speaking of which, we checked in with the World tribe where everyone was rather sombre post tribal council. Wait, no, it was just that they hadn’t had their coffeeeeee. Everyone was thrilled to have blindsided Rob and to have created some peace. And Parvati was ready to take advantage of the murky alliances to officially take control. As such, she took the girls off to bathe in the ocean – aka align – while Tony and Tommi were busy working away at camp. Tony admitted that he knows that Parvati and Cirie work best when rallying the women, and as such, tried to figure out a way he and Tommi could save themselves. While the women vibed and ugh, crown Parv now.

Back at the Aussie tribe, David was busy talking about having the biggest target in the game, though was grateful to have three really tight friends on the island in the form of Luke, Janine and Sarah. Not wanting to rest on his laurels though, he caught up with Kirby to see what she was thinking in the hopes of wooing her to his side. And take out George and Shonee first. Sadly for him, Kirby’s closest friend in the game is Shonee, so she caught up with the duo with George suggesting Janine is probably the one that needs to go first. Which instantly spooked Kirby, who felt David was the bigger threat. He then explained that David is too well insulated and his friends will protect him, so taking out Janine will weaken his numbers but not scare him.

Kirby continued to shine, catching up with David’s friends one by one, with Luke talking about going for him eventually, while Shonee reminded her and Sarah that getting rid of George is always an option. Sarah opened up about knowing David outside of the game, both modelling in Western Australia. That being said, she wanted to play things differently this time by having a solid single ally rather than playing both sides. That night, she caught up with Kirby by the fire to not necessarily lock her in as her number one, though to admit that she had come around to getting rid of David first.

Obviously this manifested JLP for the immunity challenge where the tribes would face off using a battering ram to smash a wall, carry it through a keyhole, load it with blocks and walk it through a course before stacking them on an A frame and knocking them off with sandbags. The tribes both started smashing their wall at the same time, while Tony dominated the wall strategically and got the World tribe out to a hefty lead. Lisa then coached them through the keyhole, as the Aussies finally made it through the wall. The Aussies tried to close the gap as Tony continued to MVP the challenge for World, who had all their blocks stacked before the Aussies even made it to the end. Sadly, he kinda sucked at throwing, though thankfully, he had plenty of time to get his eye in. After he fatigued, Tommi jumped in and quickly knocked off a couple of blocks. The Aussies finally joined the fray with David coming close to closing the gap. Sadly for him and Luke, however, the lead was too much to overcome as Tony secured immunity for the World tribe.

Back at camp David quickly got to work trying to lock in an alliance with Kirby, suggesting George as the target instead. George meanwhile was talking to Sarah about feeling like he has to bend the knee to David. Luke and Janine caught up with David and Kirby, with him suggesting they split their votes between George and Shonee. Sadly for the alleged Golden God, Kirby knew David had the numbers while Geroge had none and as such, she wanted to get rid of David instead. She caught up with Shonee, George and Sarah to talk through the options, with them all keen to get rid of him because yolo, big moves are more fun. No joke. Sadly while George was feeling this alliance, he pulled Luke and David aside to let them know that David is on the block. And that the only way to save him is working together with Janine to get rid of Shonee instead.

This sent David in a little bit of a spiral, while Sarah desperately tried to keep her distance from him to make sure her loyalty was clearly with Kirby. That being said, she felt bad and pulled Janine aside to let David know that he is in trouble and there is nothing more she can do. Unless he has an idol. The madness continued as George told Kirby that he threw out Shonee’s name to the other side, with her hilariously dunking on him and letting him know the actual plan was to split between him and Shonee. As he started to simmer, David approached and the duo awkwardly got more and more frustrated with each other as Kirby hilariously smirked at the drama.

Even after George threw her squarely under the bus to David, right in front of her.

When it was just the two of them, Kirby confronted him and fired up, making her realise that maybe George did need to go instead. David meanwhile was lamenting his place in the game with Luke, before confronting Kirby in the shallows, as she hilariously chilled out by herself. He asked why she is leading the vote against him, while she pointed out that she is not leading anything. David started talking about his physical strength and how desperately they need him for them to have the numbers at the merge. Sensing it wasn’t going well, he spoke to Janine who assured him Kirby is definitely leading the charge against him. As such, he focused on wooing Sarah to his side. Bless her, however, she was not interested in voting with anyone but Kirby, so did the hail mary for him, and suggested flipping it to George. Which she swiftly did, it seems.

After Sarah told them the vote was now on George, Shonee caught up with Kirby to find out what was happening. And while she was surprised, she was more than happy to snip George. George and Sarah joined them, with George suggesting they get rid of Janine instead to guarantee they all survive the night. And when Luke joined them and assured them he’d happily vote for Janine, a third plan seemed to be locked in.

We finally arrived at tribal council where George admitted he was disappointed to not be having the night off. Kirby said that while her OG season was chaotic, that was amateur hour compared to the afternoon she just had, which was an absolute nightmare. While she is just a newbie. David called her out for playing just as hard as everyone else on the beach, and that she isn’t giving herself enough credit. As she is really in control of the vote tonight. George spoke about the competing priorities amongst the tribe before talking about the fast pace of the game. Shonee and Kirby started to whisper, confirming the vote was still for David before they looped in Sarah and George. And ugh, you could almost see Sarah’s heart break as she realised her promise to David would be broken. Luke joked about Survivor being like riding a bike and that he loved the mess.

As that was happening, David and Janine whispered about potentially convincing George to work with them to get rid of Shonee instead. They then got called out for whispering, with Janine sending David and George aside to talk. While David was warning him that they are truly screwed without each other, the other five spoke about potentially locking in a George vote instead. As George, ugh, quickly agreed to get rid of Shonee with David.

The boys returned to their seats as Kirby looked on at George irate. David then filled Luke in on the plan, as Janine let her boys whisper. Shonee rightly started to get nervous as Kirby tried to assure her that she is safe and they will all get rid of David, so she just needed to relax. Shonee then spoke openly about her fear that the two people that voted her out previously could be working together. David then suggested he, Janine and Luke flip back to George, Luke told George they were voting Janine and fucking hell, I actually have no idea how this is playing out. With that the tribe voted and hilariously, things were split evenly between George and David, with a single little outlier for Janine from George. Which thankfully didn’t bite him in the bum as the tribe re-voted – this time without David and George – and the girls stuck together to send the Golden God from the game.

Despite announcing his retirement from playing, David took his boot in stride, knowing that as the only winner on their beach, he was always kinda, sorta screwed. That and he won millions and millions of dollars on DONDI, so yolo. As such, I pulled him into a hug, feeling his rippling muscles against my chest as I shed a surprising tear that we will never see David in his sarong again. As such, I toasted his demise and wished him luck in his future endeavours – in a hollow, still team JLP manner – with a glorious David Genutella Sundaes.

The first thing I think of when I think of David is nut. Nutella, that is. I also think of how good he would look in the Chris Evans version of the whipped cream bikini, so tried my luck by whipping him up a sundae. And if it went nowhere, at least we got something delicious. Velvety nutella ganache, sweet cherries and the warm crunch of nuts, this is truly delightful.

Enjoy!

David Genutella Sundaes
Serves: 2 dear friends, that could be lovers, because you can’t be lovers if you can’t be friends.

Ingredients
⅓ cup double cream
60g dark chocolate
½ cup nutella
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 cups Vanilla Ice Cream
⅓ cup toasted hazelnuts, roughly chopped
whipped cream, to taste
4 maraschino cherries
hundreds and thousands, for sprinklin’

Method
Pop the double cream in a saucepan over medium heat and bring to heat until it is almost boiling. Remove from the heat and whisk in the chocolate until it has melted and the sauce is smooth. Stir in the nutella, followed by the vanilla, and remove from the heat.

To assemble, divide the ice cream between two bowls, sprinkle with some nuts, pour over the ganache, dollop the whipped cream and dot with the cherries, before topping with sprinkles. And devouring.


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Kardashindy Salad

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II, Salad, Side, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Nash found an idol in the opening moments of the game and immediately became the most insufferable person on screen. As the rest of the Brains and Brawn got out to battle, a group of iconic women led by a witch and PTA vice-president took control of the Brains tribe. While Kent was busy trying to rival Nash by doing too much, and burning poor Max’s hat in the hope of being relevant – I mean, toxic. – and getting rid of Myles. For reasons. When Nash caused the Brawns to lose immunity, the goal quickly became to flush his idol or get him out. And tragically for Candy, it was the former, as she became the first boot.

We opened by checking in with the Brains, where we met cute little Kaelan who was serving up coconuts and winning hearts. Along with mine, because he is hot. And smart. And cares about the environment. And is doing something about it. I stan him and will have 20 of his babies. Meanwhile over at the Brawn tribe, Nash continued to make a play for screen time as he turned his shorts into speedos and gloated about surviving tribal council. He was wise enough to figure out that somebody from his alliance flipped on him though, so got to work finding out who the culprit was. And it literally became the quickest hunt, as he spoke to Zen first, who immediately admitted it and shared he only wanted to flush the idol. While admitting to us that he looks forward to blindsiding Nash at the first opportunity.

Back at the Brains, Indy was weaving a new hat for Max to make up for Kent burning his on night one. Just as I was about to make a pun about his name and certain c word, Kent broke down in confessional about how desperately he has wanted to be on the show and while it gives rich people problems, I won’t kick him while he is down. Wait, no,  he is still coming for Myles in the cruellest way possible, saying he lacks EQ and is playing too hard, which is exactly what I’d say about the millionaire who is currently bullying a pole dancer king and burnt a teacher’s hat. Thankfully I wasn’t the only person to notice, as Rich pointed out Kent was being a bit weird. We then met Indy who spoke about her plans to lay low and watch what everyone was doing to position herself well, quickly deciding that she would like to hitch her wagon to the Coven. Which is 100% what I would do, as a gay man.

The Coven too were thrilled to be in a coven, with Laura delighted by how her game was playing out so far. We learnt that her number one is Logan and honestly, I live because again, this is giving big Shonella energy. Knowing the girls need a few boys to make a majority, Laura and Logan quickly got to work finding a man to join them. Sadly, Rich became target number one as he sidled up to them to take control. Sadly for them, he was also playing them and his plan was for him and Max to pretend they’re riding their coattails before cutting their throats. And just like that, Rich and Max are dead to me.

My love Jonathan returned for the latest reward challenge where they would race down a slide to collect sandbags, which they would use to knock over puzzle pieces and then run out into the ocean to solve the floating puzzle. Oh and the victors would either get a big old fish or a big ol’ set of fishing gear. Everyone was neck and neck on the slide until Karin missed her bag. Thankfully Queen Logan grabbed a double and tied it up. It remained tight as they tried to knock the puzzle pieces free, but who really cares, given half the men are in speedos and they look glorious. Including my boyfriend Paulie. The Brawns got out to a massive lead until Nash wanted to step in and toss some bags, and absolutely flopped allowing the Brains to power ahead. For some reason, they left Nash playing, allowing the Brains to methodically work through the puzzle until Ben finally stepped in and caught them up. And then Zaddy Paulie happened, calmly guiding the Brawns through the puzzle until the gap closed. Though sadly not quick enough as the Brains narrowly secured reward.

Back at camp the Brains were thrilled to see their options with Kaelan pushing for them to take the fishing gear while Rich was the lone voice wanting to have a huge meal today and then starve for the rest of the game. As he was telling us they would never catch any fish in their bay, Kaelan snagged one right on cue and yes, he remains my icon. Karin and Logan, meanwhile, were hating how much of a flop their shelter is. Being proactive, Ally tried to lead the tribe in some repairs, while the boys joked around and complained about working and not relaxing. Specifically one of my new least favourite people, Rich. Ally took Zara for a little walk in the jungle to formulate a little plan to get rid of him and free up some of the nicer boys to work with them, and just improve all the vibes around camp. That night Karin and Ally looped in Indy on the plan and while she was thrilled to be part of an alliance, she did question whether she would have been told if she hadn’t asked and ugh, Indy, please don’t do anything silly.

JLP made his return for the latest immunity challenge where the tribes would race to untie and roll a giant spool through a course with someone perched on top to collect sandbags before setting up some targets before two people try to land four sandbags on top from a far away tower. Brawn got out to a very early lead until the Brains got their eye in and snuck ahead. Despite having a massive lead by the time they got to tossing, the Brawn tribe quickly got their eye in as Ben landed bag after bag and snatched victory, sending the Brains to tribal council. All because Rich is an absolute flop.

Back at camp he tried to distract from his flop ways as the tribe focused on how close they were in the challenge, ignoring how much of an epic lead they had. Kent meanwhile was on an island by himself, pumped to be getting rid of Myles at the first opportunity. While AJ was ready to get rid of Myles, Kaelan was not so sure given he is good at challenges which Kent weakly pointed out that they are the same height, which means absolutely nothing. He then grew worried about scrambling and making people doing stupid things, so went into the jungle for a nap. Thankfully Kaelan looped in Myles, letting him know that people are getting scared that he is playing too hard and want to eliminate him before he can make a move against them.

While the boys were feuding amongst themselves, the girls continued to focus on getting rid of Rich. Except for Indy, who wasn’t thrilled to just be a number and not in control. Zara calmly pointed out that not everyone can get their way this first vote given there are literally 12 different motives, which appeared to calm Indy a little. Until it didn’t, given Laura was more focused on protecting Rich as her puppet. The other issue was Indy, who wanted to be in a power position, so decided to approach AJ, and then Rich and Max to let them know that Karin had rallied the women to get rid of Rich. And ugh, Indy, I was rooting for you. Now, I’m not. She then threatened to come for them if they threw her under the bus and well, you know that means they’re going to do just that.

As soon as she went away, the boys decided that she was making it all up and instead decided to turn their attention to her instead. As that was happening, Laura was telling the girls that going for Rich could be a bigger problem if he stayed and as such, they should just vote for Myles to lull him into a false sense of security. While her logic is solid, Zara and Karin were not sold. Until Rich joined the girls and told them that Indy said they’re all coming for him, and as such, the girls quickly got on board with his plan to get rid of her instead. Giving us another tragic episode with Rich, but thankfully keep pole king Myles around another day. The tribe seemed to have come together until Kent woke up and told everyone to vote Myles, and TBH it was complete and utter chaos as they prepared to head off.

At tribal council Karin spoke about how the Brains had made the most of the first five days, laying the groundwork of alliances and getting to know each other. But it is all untested without a trip to tribal council, so they’re about to cash some cheques. Myles spoke about how the tribe had appeared to sour on him for being too excited to play the game, with Kent quickly jumping in to point out he was working to poison the tribe against him. With the first thing being to burn Max’s hat. And while he thought it was a fun story, I’m not sure what he was planning to achieve as everyone now thinks he is an arsehole. Things then went crankier, as Indy started to throw shade at the girls, with Ally trying to defend them and Rich started to talk over her.

The fight flipped to Karin and Indy, as Karin pointed out that she wanted a man to go home first for no other reason than to protect Indy. Karin and Zara methodically tried to calm Indy down with her ultimately thinking she was right, after they admitted the girls’ alliance is not a thing. Because of her. Rich then started talking about being aligned with his Victorian castmates, which made Laura and Logan nervous that their secret had been found out. And more importantly, unsure about which way Karin was voting. With that the tribe voted – Kent, obviously, for Myles – as everyone else came together to snip Indy out of the game before she could create more chaos.

She was in tears as she walked into Loser Lodge, so I quickly swallowed my rage and instead of telling her that she only had herself to blame, I pulled her in for a hug. And then pulled a Tyra-lite, by telling her I was rooting for her and all the women to get rid of man after man … and that she only has herself to blame for going out too soon. To her credit, Indy was well aware that she should have just gone with the flow so early in the game, so I pulled her in for another hug, as we sobbed together and manifested the female domination commencing in her honour. All while devouring a Kardashindy Salad.

This little copycat of the famous, shaken Kardashian salad, is as simple as it is delicious. Plus, when a salad is jam packed full of as much meat and cheese as this one, it turns out you can make friends with salad.

Enjoy!

Kardashindy Salad
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 baby cos, thinly sliced
400g tinned chickpeas, drained and rinsed
200g Italian salami, thinly sliced
1 cup mozzarella cheese, grated
¼ cup olive oil
2 tbsp red wine vinegar
1 ½ tsp dijon mustard
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp black pepper
2 tbsp parmesan cheese, grated

Method
Combine the lettuce, chickpeas, salami and mozzarella in a bowl and toss to combine.

Whisk the remaining ingredients together in a jug before drizzling over the salad, tossing said salad, serving and then, devouring.


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Whipped Miranda Lebrie Dip

Cheese, Condiment, Dip, Party Food, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars 1, Snack, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Global All Stars the dolls starred in the International Queen of Mystery Ball. And let’s just say, a ball with 12 queens in 40 minutes means it goes quickly. Very quickly. Pythia was this season’s token helper, kindly supporting all of her sisters and making sure they made it down the runway in something half-way decent. Thankfully for her, it didn’t blow up in her face as it so often does, as she slayed each and every category. Alyssa got her design rudemption, despite her first two looks saving her no matter what. Because they looked expensive. Despite not feeling as confident in her third look, Athena vowed to sell it while Soa got by on a hope and a pray. Pythia rightly won, while Soa and Athena found themselves in the bottom – despite some more questionable looks, IMO – before Soa dominated to save herself, making sweet Athena the Porkchop of Global All Stars.

Backstage the dolls were feeling that shit is getting real, given one of them – finally, for Kitty – went home. Pythia was heartbroken to lose her fellow Greek sister, though sweetly assured Soa she was glad that she was safe. Eva turned things positive, sharing how grateful she was that Pythia’s kindness was rewarded with the win. The next day Soa was feeling her oats to have survived, with Pythia trying to cheer her up pointing out that some people made uglier looks out of combining shit they had, so Soa should hold her head up high for trying something. And yes, that was a Tessa read. Alyssa jumped in to defend her own corset and hot glue number, pointing out she knows how to sell and that, my dolls, is what a winner does.

Ru dropped by, by way of Cher’s Believe era, to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be forming girl groups and singing the new anthem Say Love. And to decide the team captains, Ru would be diving deep into the census archives – topical in Australia, no? – with the dolls Price is Right-ing the population of their countries, with the three closest without going over jagging the power. Kween Kong, Miranda and Vanity won, with the latter literally within 100K. Hilariously, bless, Alyssa tipped the USA had 100 billion people, wishing she had phoned a friend instead of counting the multiple personalities of her fellow Americans.

I will take this moment for the weekly reminder to crown her. For the love of drag, crown her.

Vanity selected Kitty, Gala and Nehellenia, Miranda went with Alyssa, Eva and Tessa while Kween selected Soa and Pythia. Ru then explained that the dolls would have to write a verse dedicated to love, thankfully in any language. They would then pull together sickening girl group looks and choreograph their debut performances on the mainstage. Oh and they would each have different genres, with Kween’s group assigned LatinX, Vanity assigned Europop and Miranda scoring KPop. Followed by the Colour My World runway, featuring a minimum of two reveals.

The dolls split up to come up with a game plan, with Kween and Soa primed for a second Girl Groups victory, as Pythia quietly worried about keeping up with them. Casually throwing shade at the Canadian girl groups in the process. Alyssa meanwhile was throwing it back to Read U Wrote U, and how disappointed she was to miss it by a single episode. Miranda meanwhile admitted she was nearly in the bottom for her girl groups, while Kitty was hoping for some rudemption after her team let her down on her season. Not the genres, like it actually was. Alyssa meanwhile realised her team’s initials were MEAT, so baptised them Fresh Meat, Kween’s team named themselves D’Vybe, while Kitty suggested they should be the Backdoor Girls.

Talk turned to the lyrics, with Nehellenia planning to talk about loving any man while Vanity wisely would focus on cock. Kitty on the other hand was going with cheesy chips and Kween wanted to go the earnest route, selling her best ass-ets and planning to empower the people.

Team Miranda were first to work on the choreography, with Alyssa running things like a drill sergeant, knowing that they are only as good as their weakest links. And while they appeared to be strong, Alyssa was still hoping to be judged individually. Team Kween was up next, with Kween and Soa vibing, while poor Pythia started to get nervous about picking everything up in time. Though thankfully Kween pivoted on the fly and tried to simplify to help her sister out. Rounding out the segment were Team Vanity with Nehellenia confidently in her element, though not up to Kitty’s standards, who jumped in and pulled together something that was killer and easy. Not letting the dolls let her down.

Elimination Day arrived with Alyssa’s sisters gushing about how she took them under her wing and made sure they were prepared for their performance. Vanity and Miranda, meanwhile, opened up to Eva about how nervous they were to perform on stage and while Miranda struggled with some pain from all the rehearsal, she was proud to have pushed through. Alyssa and Kween caught up about working with dolls that aren’t dancers, and hearing them speak about how proud they are of their sisters melted my cold, dead heart. Gala and Kitty meanwhile were stressed about Vanity’s stress, with Kitty talking about how she just doesn’t want to lose another girl group when she is literally in a drag girl group. While Nehellenia was just hoping to show the dolls that she is just as good as them. Alyssa and Kween, specifically.

Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by the hilarious Ross Mathews as Kween’s D’Vybe opened the show and damn they were good. Despite Pythia not having the confidence of her sisters, and them getting out of sync throughout. Because it was fun and silly. Which you know Ru loves. Fresh M.E.A.T. then arrived and absolutely demolished, despite it really being a Destiny’s Child situation with Alyssa playing the role of Beyonce. Closing out the show, Kitty well and truly got her rudemption as the Backdoor Girls clearly understood the assignment, with Kitty smutty, sexy and in the pocket from start to finish.

On the Colour My World runway, Gala went from Frida to bondage, Eva gave Maleficent to Evil Queen through to Cruella and yas, werk Disney gay, werk. Miranda gave soccer nun, to babydoll through to non-binary love. Tessa took us through a jester burlesque journey, Alyssa went from sun to moon to stars and once again, was perfect. Soa was stunning going through the Gods as she found her colour. Pythia was the Monster from under her bed, through to the evil eye ending on a club kid rag doll number. And again, stunning. Vanity was a series of pride flags, Kween went from yeti, to frog prince green through to gorilla realness. Nehellenia went from coral cape to jellyfish on her way to Dory and Nemo, giving us another Disney gay. Kitty meanwhile went from pink to yellow to blue and orange as she tried to pick her outfit for a night out with the dolls.

Ru announced that they’d be judged individually before Eva, Tessa, Alyssa, Soa and Gala were sent to safety. Miranda’s runway was read for being a mess and giving a different energy in the performance, despite her clearly having fun. Pythia was read for letting them know she was flubbing the dance moves in the performance, though they loved her runways. See: fashion queen of the season. Kween was praised for owning the performance, hitting every beat and smartly serving humour to help her sisters out. While two out of three looks were killer. The judges could tell Vanity was nervous, though Ross loved her passion for sucking dick. And for her dedication to showing off all the flags. Nehellenia was beloved for being lovable and joyous on the stage, and giving fun on the runway. While Kitty, rightly, received wall to wall praise for every moment this week, owning the performance and giving all the energy and charisma.

Backstage Alyssa was disappointed to be safe as Gala tried to assure her that her team let her down, given she is a star. Alyssa admitted that she desperately wants to be judged on her performance and hers alone this season (justice for her and Alaska’s comedy win). Gala proclaimed her group as the best, as they couldn’t figure out if Pythia or Vanity would be joining Miranda in the bottom. The tops and bottoms joined them, with them guessing Kween or Kitty would be taking out the win, while they were debating whether Nehellenia would be in the top or bottom, which drove her insane. Pythia started to break down, feeling bad for letting Kween and Soa down, as her sisters rallied and assured her she did her best and they had a blast with her. As Kween suggested some other people should be in the bottom over her, while Alyssa begged Pythia to just give herself grace. While Miranda sweetly spoke about her own pride, despite clearly being in the bottom. Vanity on the other hand was annoyed by her own bottom.

Nehellenia jumped in to tell her sisters the judges respect her and she got only positive critiques, so she doesn’t care if her sisters don’t love her. Miranda quietly removed herself to prepare for the lip sync, while Soa got sick of hearing Nehellenia pop off about being in the top. Vanity was upset that she kept saying all of them hated her, so angrily removed herself with Soa. Kween tried to put it into perspective, explaining that people are annoyed as she is saying they’re all picking on her, but then saying it is only some and not naming names. While they just want to focus on lifting up their sisters who are about to lip sync. 

We pivoted back to the mainstage where Kween and Nehellenia were sent to safety as Kitty deservedly took out her first win of the season. At the other end of the pack, Pythia’s runway managed to keep her safe as Miranda and Vanity lined up to lip sync for their lives to the iconic Spice Up Your Life. While Vanity served spicy, sexy icon from start to finish, it was hard not to fall in love with Miranda’s clown performance. She was living her best life as she gave silliness and just vibed. Sadly though, it was not enough to save her, as Vanity lived to fight another day and Brasil’s Sasha Velour was tragically sent packing.

As sweet Miranda arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and told her how proud of her I am. Despite being an early boot, Miranda was a polished star from start to finish, giving a daring talent and serving look after look. And that makes her another robbed goddess, though maybe that is just the calibre of the dolls this season? Obviously I said she was the only robbed goddess, because I wanted her to feel as good about her departure as she could. Which she did, after smashing a massive bowl of Whipped Miranda Lebrie Dip.

There is nothing more comforting than cheese. Although it does turn out you can make it even better, just with a bit of a whip. And bacon. And honey. Then, it is stunning. And hard to stop eating.

Enjoy!

Whipped Miranda Lebrie Dip
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
100g streaky bacon, diced
600g brie, rind removed
thyme leaves, to sprinkle
hot honey, to drizzle
sourdough, sliced and toasted to serve

Method
Pop a frying pan over medium heat and fry the bacon for a few minutes, or until golden and crisp. Remove from the pan and pop it on a plate lined with paper towel.

Dice the rindless brie and pop into the bowl of a stand mixer. Using the paddle attachment, beat the brie for 10 minutes or until pale and fluffy.

Spoon the cheese into a bowl, sprinkle with the bacon and thyme, and drizzle with hot honey. And then devour with bread. You can use crackers if you want, but bread is just perfection, IMO.


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Arantxa Castilla-La Mash & Fries

RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World 2, Side, Snack, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World 11 queens from across the globe descended on the UK, ready to prove themselves to be the fairest of them all. Or, you know, the second best of the top four, but I digress. Immediately Ru threw down the gauntlet, making them star in a little Queens’ Variety Show. I assume to mark Chuckie’s coronation, but again, I’ve digressed. When it came to the performances, Mayhem found herself hilarious and forgot the rest, Marina was an ICON, Gothy lacked power as she literally ate fire while Le Grand Dame was stupid in the best way. When Gothy and Mayhem landed in the bottom, it was up to Marina and LGD to choose who to send home before Marina won the ultimate power. And promptly sent Mayhem straight back to Riverside, ending the run of all US dolls making it to the end of Vs the World seasons.

Backstage Tia was shocked that Mayhem was gone, despite the fact she clearly bombed the talent show. Funny and iconic, but a total bomb. After the dolls congratulated Marina, she explained that she sent home the legend because she just wants to give Gothy the chance to actually shine, given they have all had the full experience. Oh and then she made a joke about how poor taste it was to wipe off the message, given she is a Filipina cleaning a mirror in the UK. Again, she is an icon. Gothy meanwhile was on cloud nine to have made it to the second episode and ugh, her joy truly is super cute. Hannah, being Australian, asked LGD to share who she had voted for, with her agreeing she voted to get rid of Mayhem as she wants the world to get the chance to fall in love with Mayhem. Like Arantxa, who spoke about how emotional she is to be among this cast, as LGD reminded her it may be her hormones.

Oh and then the UK dolls caught up to strategise, with Hannah loudly and hilariously pointing out the alliance was meeting. As the holiday makers pointed out they outnumber the UK girlies, warning that they best be careful.

The next day Marina unveiled her gold badge and while LGD was a little jealous, she assured us she will be the next to jag one, so wasn’t overly bothered. Scarlet pointed out that given four UK girls are around, they should be nervous about being the targets. Though Choriza pointed out that the first elimination actually calmed her, given it is clear they are playing fairly. Tia meanwhile was too happy about having walked the runway in front of Ru in a nice outfit for the first time to care. Which, lol, is iconic. Michelle then dropped by to put the girls through their paces in an itty bitty quiz mini challenge with the most glorious of Brit Crew members. Everyone decreed Marina the Fairest in the Land, Shadiest was named as Hannah – doing Down Under proud, obvi –  Mightiest (aka Biggest Competition) was also named Marina while Neediest was Arantxa, aka most in Need of some new Drag. Which pissed off Jonbers, given she got three votes, which she obviously felt wasn’t fair.

But over to the maxi challenge, which Michelle announced was the ball. And not just any ball, but The Happy Endings Ball. First category they would walk in their Lady Prince Charming looks, in category two they would serve She-vil Queen, while finally, they would walk in Drags to Riches Eleganza, which they would make using scraps of fabric left behind by the Brit Crew. Since the dolls felt Arantxa was needy, she got an extra 10 seconds to grab at it before the rest of the dolls joined the fray. And as is tradition, create absolute chaos. Choriza was busy hoarding literally everything, leaving Tia was next to nothing. Which obviously made her nervous, given sewing challenges are really not her jam. 

Hannah pulled together a bunch of knitted mice, hoping they would help her through, given she is a hot glue gun queen. She then caught up with Jonbers, who eventually admitted she was pressed, so put it to the crowd. WIth Marina straight up admitting to it, before Gothy eventually zoned-in and claimed the second one while the third person stayed silent. Until they all started listing their votes, forcing Choriza to admit it was her. With a laugh. Everyone got busy working away and bartering fabrics, as LGD opened up about coming so close to winning the ball in her first season – thanks Paloma – that she is looking for redemption. She caught up with Tia, flirting hard to try and get fabric, while Tia was just wanting her to get it.

Michelle interrupted before it became BBC after dark, with Marina sharing she would make a shimmering mermaid gown and while it is a big task, she is confident in herself. And hot glue. While Scarlet was going classic Cinderella. Hannah was excited to go with something shimmering and neon, while Keta was going dark and moody, Gothy was looking forward to putting her fashion background to use to serve pastels, LGD was the polar opposite, going with futuristic shimmering gold and ugh, I love her. Arantxa meanwhile was looking forward to serving Wednesday Addams at the prom realness, opening up about how her style is missing because she never got the chance to trial as a teen girl, in honour of the woman she has always been, given she missed out on those milestones after transitioning as an adult. Tia meanwhile was going full glamour in cherry red velvet, Choriza was looking forward to another owl shitting in her eye and Jonbers was vibing on an 80s Lacroix inspired number.

Michelle then asked if the UK dolls will be sticking together, with Jonbers straight up saying they will. Sadly for her, in front of everyone. After Michelle left, Tia opened up about her design being dedicated to Cherry Valentine, given she knows that if she was still here, she would be an All Star by now. And ugh, I just want to hug her and Cherry, as the entire situation is tragic. But Tia slaying the ball in her honour is all I care about now.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone splitting up to put the finishing touches on their looks. Except for Hannah, who felt she was done. I assume emotionally, as the gown is straight up trash, so hopefully her charm sells it. Arantxa’s look was held together with safety pins and a prayer. Scarlet obviously put being a third timer to good use, giving the dolls a pep talk to sell the garment, if nothing else. Even if their looks are mediocre.

Ru recovered enough to appear on the panel alongside Michelle, Graham and Adwoa Aboah as the dolls opened The Happy Endings Ball in their Lady Prince Charming looks. Hannah was camp as hell, giving Better Midler as Prince Charming in Shrek 2, Jonbers was a glorious plaid prancer while Arantxa was a cute Bowie. Tia gave glam Robin Hood realness, LGD was stunning in a high fashion blue suit giving the silliest faces and sound effects as she ran the railroads in Gaultier, Scarlet was a half-stripped warrior in white and Keta was a glorious knight. Gothy served a stunning twink in a little floral number, Marina was perfect as an underwater prince before Choriza gave a moody matador Dali. And yeah, it was a slay.

On the She-Vil Queens runway, Hannah cackled away in a classic black and navy gown serving nothing but drama. Jonbers was glorious in a slutty dragon look, Arantxa gave Mean Girls devil, Tia’s gown dedicated to Cherry’s promo look was perfect, emotional and ugh, she should really be proud of herself. LGD then came out as an alien queen, obviously serving wacky noises, Scarlet was green, moody and powerful, before Keta literally rode the dragon all over the runway and ugh, it was funny. And I love it. Gothy was monochromatic and glam as Daphne Guiness, Marina served Dugong realness and lets just say, it was so weird and I love it. While Choriza was smoking and purple, as the upcycled owl from Season 3. Obscuring all the views in the process.

Closing it out with their Drags to Riches Eleganza, Hannah was a total mess, though TBH, not as bad as I was expecting. Jonbers looked good in a shimmering ruffled number, Arantxa was a cute goth teen, Tia gave glamour in a gown, which honestly is above adequate and LGD was a straight up golden goddess and just give her the win now, please! Scarlet revealed her gorgeous Cinderella gown, complete with the Season 1 filter reveal, Keta was a gorgeous dame, kinda giving Narcissa Malfoy. Gothy was puffy pink perfection and damn, this is the rudemption she was looking for, and I love it. Marina was beautiful in her gown which honestly looks better made then her first look before Chroiza closed the show as the ugly step sisters, complete with dead owl in a cage.

Jonbers, Tia, Scarlet and Gothy were sent to safety at the back of the stage before the judges praised Hannah for her charm and personality, though read the final look for being ugly. Despite feeling it was a little fun. Arantxa was essentially read for not giving enough when it came to the details, though she was proud to have a chance to bully for once and ugh, I love her. LGD received wall to wall praise, obviously, because she is perfection. Keta too was absolutely beloved for giving glamour, polish and jokes, finally letting the judges see her personality. Marina once again was beloved, despite the judges feeling like the first look didn’t exactly make sense for the category. And they had no idea who Dugong was. Choriza meanwhile was praised for having all the ideas, though read for a bunch of fit issues. Particularly the last one, which was just too basic.

Ultimately Le Grand Dame and Keta Minaj were named the top two of the week, Marina and Hannah were safe, leaving Arantxa and Choriza up for elimination. Backstage the queens congratulated the top two, with Keta joking it just feels correct. Even though it is simply a fact. Keta praised all the girls for doing a good job, before Choriza and Arantxa spoke about how much it sucks to be in the bottom with their bestie. Keta caught up with Arantxa, thanking her for giving her the pattern for her dress. Arantxa spoke about how excited she is to represent the trans community, not wanting it to end. Meanwhile Choriza opened up to LGD about how she is friends with Arantxa, though knows she did better than her sister. LGD meanwhile only cared that if a UK queen lands in the bottom and deserves to go, Choriza would send the right girl home. 

The safe girls were kikiing, with Scarlet hoping Choriza goes given she is more competition. Once again confirming she is the drama. Arantxa really drove home the potential UK alliance to LGD, while reiterating how close they have gotten. Choriza took her no alliance message to Keta, reiterating she has nothing to worry about. While neither doll really could tell where Keta stands, given she has an epic poker face. Or doesn’t care.

After selecting their lipsticks, Keta and Le Grand Dame took their places on the stage. As Cascada’s Everytime We Touch kicked off, it was clear LGD was desperate to jag her first win, hitting every letter, giving all the energy, drama and camp and ugh, again, I love her. How is someone that perfect also so damn stupid and weird?! While Keta was a killer lip syncer, just as she promised, Ru loves to laugh and as such, LGD rightly took out victory. And then promptly sent sweet Arantxa home. After sobbing in Choriza’s arms, that is.

She then followed the sound of my sobs backstage before I jumped into her arms. Arantxa held me for the hours it took for me to calm down, before I was finally able to spit out how proud of her I was. Despite being the second boot and robbing us of a season full of joy, Arantxa’s two episodes showed how much of a delight she is, and hopefully, earned her a spot on a future All Stars season as you know that glow up is going to be epic. And until then, we have Arantxa Castilla-La Mash & Fries.

Credit to this delight goes to Antoni Porowski, who was brave enough to think, there isn’t enough potato if you have mash or chips, so why not combine them! And ugh, it is perfection. Particularly with a hearty kick of sour cream and chives.

Enjoy!

Arantxa Castilla-La Mash & Fries
Serves: 2 dear friends slash icons.

Ingredients
1 batch Jud Beerza Battered Fries
500g russet potatoes, peeled and cut into 2cm chunks
3 tbsp unsalted butter
120g sour cream
120ml milk
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
2 tbsp chives, finely sliced

Method
Prep the fries as per Jud’s recipe.

While those are underway, pot the potatoes in a large pot of salted water and bring to the boil over high heat. Once rollicking, reduce slightly and boil for 10-15 minutes, or until tender. Drain and return to the pan, cover with the lid and place over the turned-off hob to steam for a minute.

Add the butter to the pan with a good whack of salt and pepper, and mash until smooth. Stir in the sour cream and milk, and return to a low heat to cook through, adjusting the seasoning as required.

To serve, dish the mash into a bowl, top with fries and a sprinkle of chives. And then, devour.


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Blueberry & Jessicustard Pienaher

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Baking, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor 24 new castaways were dumped on the islands of Samoa. Split based on whether they were rule makers or breakers, Titans faced off against the Rebels to find which approach would prove superior. And if the first episode is anything to go by, the Rebels are going to demolish, as the Titans struggled to listen to each other, allowing the Rebels to expertly work together and win back to back challenges. At the Titans, Nathan, Frankie and Jaden were keen to take control given they identified themselves as cool and strong. Sadly for them, three does not a majority make, leading to Eden and Mark orchestrating a coup before they could even try to take control, icing Frankie and leaving Nathan without any friends.

Though still, he looks good in a speedo. And that matters.

The next day things were still delightful over at the Rebels as Alex rocked out in his speedo and the tribe were frankly just vibing and living their best lives. Despite the fact Kelli is at an 11 at all times, though to be fair, she was focused on Alex and how good he looks in said speedo, I relate to her on a deep level. Even if she is so irritating, everyone wants her gone ASAP. The tribe caught up around the fire to brush their teeth with charcoal and while it looked like they literally ate shit, they were feeling fresh and lovely. Tobias and Sarah meanwhile were slowly falling in love, chatting as they worked on the shelter. After learning about her career as a firefighter, she told us that she, Tobias, Peta and Alex have quickly locked in an alliance. While Raymond was busy running around the jungle, making things awkward and being all around sketchy. Which I hate, as he is adorbs. And to reiterate, works in DVDs, which is a dying market, so he needs this.

Over at the Titans things were still well and truly a mess as Nathan opened up to Winna about feeling left out after Frankie’s blindside, talking about how much he just wished he knew it was coming. And yeah, I’m sure he and Frankie wish they knew. While he was heartbroken to have lost someone he knew for two days, everyone else tried to act like they cared. Thankfully we pivoted to Eden and Mark, who joyfully reflected on taking control by orchestrating Frankie’s demise. Despite the fact Jessica had convinced herself it was all her idea. She well and truly started to feel her oats, and while she thinks she is in charge, it is clear Mark and Eden won’t let her believe it for long.

The tribes came together with JLP for the reward challenge where the tribes would compete in rounds playing tug of war over a huge crate. With the victors jagging the item within the crate in each round. Nathan and Jaden faced off against Alex and Feras, and while the Titans kinda made quick work of things, it was mainly because of Mark’s coaching from the sidelines rather than their strength. As the Titans celebrated jagging fishing gear, Peta and Aileen lined up opposite Caroline and Valeria. And quickly found themselves in a stalemate for 10 minutes before Mark, once again, coached the dolls into another win. This time just a couple of bananas, which honestly doesn’t seem worth it. Tobias, Sarah, Scott, Rianna and Kirby made quick work of Jess, Mark, Kitty, Viola and Winna, jagging the Rebels supplies to make smores. Before the final round saw Garrick and Raymond battle Eden and Charles for a massive tarp. And despite the Rebels starting strong, they quickly faded and found themselves overpowered as the Titans took out victory.

Back at camp the Titans were on cloud nine to finally have a win under their belts, vibing over the tarp, bananas and fishing gear. Mark in particular was thrilled to have a bestie in Eden and that they found another dynamic duo to align with, the Super Vs. Winna meanwhile almost choked while eating his banana after finding a clue hidden inside. He went for a swim with Jaden and shared it with him, kinda, though was a little bit too vague for Jaden to be able to do anything with the information. Thankfully he was pretty sure he knew where the idol was hidden, so planned to make a beeline for the palm tree the next day. Which totally means someone else will grab it today, right?

The next morning Winna woke up nice and early, so went for a walk to collect his idol and surprisingly it was still there! Once again proving that if Australian Survivor is going to do one thing consistently, it will instantly shut down my predictions.

The tribes reunited for the latest immunity challenge where they would race to climb a very tall frame, crawl through a twisted net and release coconuts from a shoot above their heads. And then shoot said coconuts in a basket held up by the rival tribe with the last tribe standing taking out the win. Once again the Rebels got out to an early lead after powering over the frame, before Aileen got stuck in the net. Jess then snatched the lead for the Titans before Raymond tied things back up as both tribes got the hang of the obstacle. When it came to the coconuts, the Titans started to struggle, allowing the Rebels to snatch back the lead which gave them a head start to weigh down the bag. Sadly Nathan was kinda an icon, weighing down the Rebels basket far quicker and giving Viola and Jaden more time to hold one. Though it was all for nought, sadly, as Alex got his eye in, loading up the Titans before they dropped out of nowhere, handing the Rebels another immunity.

Back at camp the tribe were heartbroken to have come so close to taking out victory but choking at the end. Speaking of choking, Nathan once again was winning me over in his speedo. As he went to wash off, Eden and Mark caught up and decided they needed to get Jess to identify a name so they used that to rally the tribe against her. Sadly for that plan, Jess approached Nathan to see what he was thinking, with Jess admitting she wants to focus on strength. And when Nathan floated Eden, she was on board, so the duo split up and got to work floating that name.

Sadly for Jess, she evidently didn’t realise how close Mark was to Eden and after catching up with him by the well, it was clear her confidence is likely going to bite her. After splitting up, Mark quickly got to work rallying the tribe against Jess, but hoped to keep it secret from Eden, as he is likely to spiral if he knew he was a target. And that would actually help convince them to get rid of him instead. Sadly for him, Valeria chose honesty, warning Eden that Jess was coming for him and as predicted, he started to spiral. He went person to person, floating a vote split between Jess and Nathan, just in case she has an idol and would get him out with a single vote. And while people seemed keen to protect him, the panic made Mark nervous.

At tribal council Caroline spoke about the early votes being easy as the relationships are all fresh and there is less need to lie. While Viola felt everyone was on the same page, she admitted she was always nervous for a surprise before Nathan shared he is more confident about this vote than the last. Despite also being confident about it last night, just wrong. Eden opened up about knowing his name had been thrown out today and as such, he is feeling far more nervous about the vote ahead. While both Nathan and Jess looked on nervously. Jess spoke about how it is important to stay a couple of steps ahead of the game, while Nathan reiterated his confidence. This time adding in the fact he hadn’t heard a name.

Jess then came out and spoke about her running the plan against Frankie, thinking it would win hearts and minds. Sadly, though, it only seemed to annoy Nathan, Jaden and Winna. Eden then asked Jess if she threw out his name, with her doubling down and arguing that she was always happy to hear other names, but nobody spoke up. While Mark ominously mentioned that the performances at tribal council really highlighted who he wanted to work with moving forward. With that the tribe voted and despite Jess feeling like a baller, it was clear her performance did not do what she thought it would, as the tribe rallied together to boot her from the tribe.

As she arrived at Loser Lodge, Jess was very confused about how it turned on her. And given I am kind of that guy, I outlined that being smug and performing for a jury that doesn’t start for a literal month, probably wasn’t the smartest move to make alliances. Particularly since she (thinks she) used Frankie, Nathan and Jaden being smug to rally the troops last episode. To her credit, Jess copped the brutal assessment on the chin and admitted she struggled to make connections, so the smugness came from the fact she was proud of overcoming that initial difficulty. Which made me feel super guilty as I plated up a Blueberry & Jessicustard Pienaher and toasted that accomplishment.

This pie gives off classic bakery treat energy in all the right ways. The crust is short and crumbly, the custard smooth and velvety and the blueberries tart and plump. And together, it is simply heavenly.

Enjoy!

Blueberry & Jessicustard Pienaher
Serves: 4-8.

Ingredients
250g flour, plus more for dusting
50g icing sugar
155g cold unsalted butter, cubed
3 eggs
1 ½ cups milk 
½ cup double cream
¾ cup raw caster sugar 
⅓ cup cornstarch 
4 tsp vanilla extract 
¾ tsp salt
500g blueberries 
1 tbsp lemon juice 
1 tsp lemon zest 

Method
Place the flour and icing sugar in a food processor and blitz to remove any lumps. Add 125g butter and blitz some more until it just starts to come together. Add an egg and blitz again. If it doesn’t come together, add a tablespoon of ice cold water, blitzing after each addition, until you have a smooth dough that just comes together. Once formed, shape into a disc, cover in cling and place in the fridge to chill for an hour or so.

Preheat the oven to 180C.

Dust a clean bench and a rolling-pin with flour and roll out the pastry until it is 4mm thick. Cut into 4-8 rounds and line pie pans. Trim off any excess dough and prick the base with a fork. Transfer to the oven and bake for ten-fifteen minutes, or until lightly golden and cooked through. Remove to a cooling rack until completely cooled.

While things get chill, combine the milk and cream in a medium saucepan and place over low heat until steaming. In a large bowl, whisk the remaining eggs with a quarter of a cup of cornstarch, half the vanilla, half a cup of sugar and ½ tsp salt until combined. Still whisking, slowly pour in the hot milk until it is all combined before transferring back to the saucepan.

Increase heat to medium and cook, whisking constantly, until the mixture boils and thickens. Remove from the heat and whisk in the remaining butter to combine. Divide the custard between the pie cases and pop them in the fridge to set for an hour or two.

In a medium saucepan, combine 2 tablespoons of cold water with the remaining cornstarch, and mix into a slurry. Add the blueberries, remaining sugar, lemon juice and zest, and the remaining vanilla and salt. Pop the saucepan over low heat and cook, stirring regularly, until the mixture thickens and loses its cloudiness. Remove from the heat and allow to cool for ten minutes before scooping on top of the pies and return to the fridge to set overnight.

Then, and only then, do you devour.


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The Girlfruitmince Piexperience

Baking, Canada's Drag Race 4, Canada’s Drag Race, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls went into marketing mode as they hosted their own little spots on QVShe. And let’s just say, it was freaking damn terrible. Like bomb after bomb, except for Venus in her skit and the duo of Kitten and Melinda. Who ironically were the ones everyone else avoided. Despite being a strong duo, it was ultimately Kitten that took out victory. After Brooke warned all the other dolls they were lucky they had to stop at the bottom three, she announced the new twist of the season, the Golden Beaver. Where the winning queen would be able to save one of the bottom three from lip syncing. With Kitten wielding her power to save The Girlfriend Experience. Leaving Luna to send Sisi home, giving the ultimate that’ll do.

Backstage Luna was shell shocked to have survived the lip sync, while Denim was already missing her Montreal sister. Vowing to win the whole competition in her honour. Aurora meanwhile was thrilled her Toronto sister had survived. Before Aimee decided it would be a wonderful idea to verbalise that she wasn’t vibing with Luna’s lip sync performance. Kitten meanwhile directed things to the big old twist, talking about the potential for alliances helping people make their way to the end. She explained to Luna that she didn’t save her as she just was closer to Girlfriend. While also hoping Girlfriend would return the favour in the future. Luna however did vow to return the favour, and suggested she would save only people that would benefit her making it further.

The next day Girlfriend was thrilled to not be a Porkchop – when it is clearly Juice Boxx – before Melinda led the girls in congratulating Kitten on her win. Again. Denim meanwhile wanted to find out how everyone else would vote with the power of the beaver, with Kiki wanting everyone to stick with the judges critiques. Nearah on the other hand wanted everyone to try their hardest to get rid of the threats. To help her get to the end.

Traci dropped by to put them through their paces in a press junket mini challenge. Complete with 20 minute quick drag. First up to promote The Godmotha 3 was Melinda who was so messy and patronising, and I loved it. Venus was obviously polished and demented, while The Girlfriend Experience just bomb, bomb, bombed again. While Kitten gave Liza, Aurora was shrill, Kiki was horny and Denim was detached. Obviously Melinda won, given she was the only one committing to a bit. And for winning, she was a team captain in this week’s girl groups maxi challenge. While Luna, as the survivor of the lip sync, was the other.

Melinda quickly jagged Kiki, Kitten, The Girlfriend Experience and Aimee for her band while Luna grabbed Venus, Aurora and Nearah, leaving Denim to round out group two. Giving us a battle of the oldies and the younguns. And given Denim was last to be picked, she got to select the songs, opting for Heartbeat, a love song. Giving the old gals Heartbreak. As is tradition, they would write lyrics and put together choreo and looks, all under the mentorship of pop star Rêve.

The dolls split up to figure out their genre and how best to serve their songs. The oldies locked on the band name Vixens, while the dolls went with Love Bugs. Before promptly pulling together an alliance. The bands started to listen to their songs and got to work on their lyrics, with Aurora dropping line after line, while at the other end of the pack, Girlfriend just struggled. 

The Love Bugs were first up to record with Rêve, with Denim slaying albeit a little slowly. Luna meanwhile was positively glacial, as poor Rêve desperately tried to get her to give even a hint of energy. Aurora meanwhile spit bars like it was nothing, Nearah went for some money notes before Venus, once again, was perfect and damn, am I stanning? They traded out with The Vixens with Melinda actually a diva, Kiki meanwhile struggled and got stuck in her head and Kitten gave old cabaret. Nothing more, nothing less. While Girlfriend slowly got more comfortable throughout the record, before Aimee gave sass in a Bebe Zahara kinda way. We ventured to the mainstage where The Love Bugs got to work on the choreography where Nearah and Aurora took control and absolutely slayed, while Denim struggled. When The Vixens hit the stage, Melinda took control and immediately got under everyone’s skin.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone splitting up to beat their mugs and get ready to slay the house down boots. Denim meanwhile opted to be shady, asking why she was picked last. While Aimee opened up about getting in her head about the fact she was singing in her second language, though she is super proud of herself. Nearah meanwhile opened up about her zaddy fiance, before Denim spoke about her husband and how thrilled it is to be with another trans man. Kitten meanwhile opened up about her boyfriend and how supportive she is of Kitten. Aimee spoke about getting divorced just before coming to the show and that she is ready to turn it out.

Brooke, Brad and Traci were joined by Rêve on the panel as The Vixens debuted their hit song Heartbreak and let’s just say, this was the Melinda Varga show and I 100% stan her. Kiki meanwhile couldn’t lip sync to her own lyrics, Girlfriend struggled with the choreography and Kitten was a little flat. Aimee meanwhile was a surprise, giving attitude and charm and ugh, I love to see it. When it came to The Love Bugs performance of Heartbeat, it was polished, cohesive and oh so stunning. The moves were camp and silly, yet still a little sickening. While Luna didn’t have the same energy as the rest of her sisters, it still kinda worked. Though maybe that is just because the others really got a star moment.

On the Sunglasses at Night runway Aurora was stunning in fiery red and black, all hanging from her shades. Luna gave ruffle pleather crow, Nearah gave purple hooded dame, Denim was bright, beaded and wearing all the sunnies while Venus gave terminator drag diva. Aimee was glorious in green and blue, like a denizen of Oz. Girlfriend gave full dominatrix, Melinda gave Madonna Frozen with face-shield glasses, Kitten gave goon sack daddy before Kiki closed the show looking perfect in a mariachi ghost demon look, complete with big ol’ bow.

Aimee, Kiki, Denim, Girlfriend, Kitten and Aurora were deemed the tops and bottoms, as the rest of the girls were dismissed backstage. Aurora received wall to wall praise for each and every thing she did this week, from the killer lyrics, the on point choreography and most importantly, giving the best runway of the night. Denim too was absolutely beloved while the judges lived for everything Aimee did this week, particularly since she woke up the song and finally had her breakthrough. Girlfriend meanwhile was praised for showing a little more of herself, particularly on the runway, however they clearly hated her performance during the song. Kitten was read for being a little bland and not being connected to the performance. And while Kiki’s runway was absolutely perfect, she was read for not giving enough in the challenge.

Aurora was deemed the winner of this week’s challenge and named the holder of The Golden Beaver, while Denim and Aimee were deemed safe. When they arrived backstage Melinda was busy talking about how gutted she was to see her bandmates make up the bottom. Aurora giddily shared that she took out the first win of the season, while everyone was shocked to hear Aimee was in the top. Talk turned to the power of the beaver, with Kiki disappointed that she isn’t giving the judges enough, assuring Aurora that if she is saved, she will bring the fire and make it worth it. Kitten meanwhile spoke about the judges thinking she was tired, while Girlfriend was disappointed to once again be read for being herself.

Ultimately Aurora opted to save Kiki, leaving Kitten and Girlfriend to battle for the last spot to Rêve’s Tongue. And while the song kinda felt like it would be up Girlfriend’s alley, Kitten was hungry for the win and absolutely demolished, giving camp, as she hit every lyric and used every inch of the floor. Which was enough to let her fight another day, as The Girlfriend Experience was sent out the door. As Girlfriend arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that she is talented and a star, and as such, she shouldn’t let a competition make her feel any less. Which cheered her up, a lot quicker than expected, and as such, we toasted her success with a fresh batch of The Girlfruitmince Piexperience.

I always hated fruit mince pies as a kid, as like Rachel Green making a trifle, I thought they used mince. But then I got a taste of Fruit Mince Pylie Jenner and it was the gateway to the majesty of the traditional kind. Rich, spiced and sweet, they are the perfect festive treat to get you to the end of the year.

Enjoy!

The Girlfruitmince Piexperience
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
225g cold butter, diced
350g flour
100g raw caster sugar
¼ tsp kosher salt
300g mincemeat
1 egg, beaten
raw sugar, to sprinkle

Method
Using your fingers, rub the butter into the flour until it resembles wet sand. Then mix in the caster sugar and salt, kneading with your hands until it just forms a ball. Form into a disc, wrap in cling and pop in the fridge to chill for an hour.

Heat the oven to 180C.

Remove the dough and roll out until it is 3mm thick. Cut into 5-10cm discs and place half into mini pie pans. Spoon in some mincemeat, store bought is fine. Top with the other discs, pressing the edges to seal. Brush the tops with egg and sprinkle with the raw sugar before slicing a small vent in the top of each.

Pop the pies in the oven and bake for 20 minutes or so, or until golden. Remove to cool in the tin for 5 minutes before popping out and placing on a wire rack to cool completely. Or devouring, no judgement.


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Missionfruit Naomeringue Cartouign-amann

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, Snack, Sweets

Previously on Drag Race UK the dolls were gagged to have a week one reprieve from eliminations. Sadly for them, there was no such safety net when it came to using pet supplies to pull together a gown. Edward Enninful and dog Ru dropped by to kiki with the dolls which led to an epic fight between besties and flatmates, Cara and Tomara. And while they managed to squash the beef, it feels like they are here to keep us fed. Banksie slayed the runway from start to finish and took out her first win. While at the other end of the pack Naomi was a mess and Alexis made questionable choices, leading to the latter being defeated by the northern queen and sent out as the Gothy of the season.

Backstage the dolls toasted their fallen sister Alexis, with everyone wishing she could see the star that she is, because if she had just a little more confidence, she could have stayed. They sat down to kiki, congratulating Banksie on a job well done with her becoming a monster, ready to win any and all challenges. DeDe meanwhile was just thrilled to get some positive critiques, as did Tomara who was shocked to land in the top thanks to hot glue and a prayer. Talk turned to Cara and Tomara’s fight and how Ru even brought it up on the runway, with Cara admitting she is now chill and just needed to get it out. And while Vicki and Banksie tried to keep the drama alive, the housemates kept things chill as they assured everyone they may fight, but that is family.

The next day the odd framing miraculously ended as we got to enjoy full group shots as the sisters spoke about their excitement for the week ahead. Naomi meanwhile opened up about how a tit-bang went wrong and she now has knee troubles. Like many a queen before her. Ru dropped by before she could go the way of Victoria, Eureka and Silky to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge, they’d be forming girl groups. And rocking their new singles – Don’t Ick My Yum – on the mainstage. Oh and the dolls had the power to select their own groups, meaning Cara, Tomara, DeDe, Michael and Vicki ran to each other, leaving Kate, Ginger, Banksie and Naomi as the leftovers. Despite feeling a little unwanted, Ginger joked that they give brunch. And werk, I live.

The bands split up to work through their lyrics with the popular dolls feeling very confident, while Michael warned them that underdogs and funny people are something Ru loves and they need to not lose sight of things. While the other dolls were excited to lean into the comedy and for Kate, read the other band for filth since they’re made up of only icks. Apparently. The popular dolls then named themselves Fierce Force Five, while the northern gals named themselves the M-52s in honour of the highway north. And rock lobsters, obviously.

Fierce Force Five were first up to record with the voice – Ru’s words – Michelle Visage and TBH, they were all very good. As were their demented icks, though who would have guessed DeDe would be the relatable icon that hates loud chewers on account of her being a loud chewer. Even Cara, who was struggling through her second puberty, but please, she is all energy and we know she will slay. They traded out with the M-52s, with the dolls just having so much fun. Full of jokes and um, which one is the fake out edit because they all seem good?

They reset the mainstage as the dolls got to work on their choreography with Cara taking the lead and making it dead serious as they hit every line and lived their girl group fantasy.  And she ruled with an iron fist and while there was almost a full blown fight, Tomara assured Cara that she will get the moves down and that Cara just needs to calm down. Meanwhile the M-52s realised how much pain Naomi’s knee was in, with the dolls trying to figure out a way to help her out. Despite not feeling confident, Banksie took the lead as Cara kindly offered advice from the wings while the rest of her team begged her to keep quiet.

Elimination Day arrived with Fierce Force Five full to the brim with confidence, while the M-52s were clearly nervous. Given they were already struggling before Naomi had to pop herself on a couch as she couldn’t stand on her knee. Talk turned to the pop icon runway with everyone excited to pay homage to the musicians that made them feel good about themselves as young queer people. Cara meanwhile opened up about realising she was trans and how Nicole Schwerzinger was a beacon of hope for her growing up and who she aspired to be. She then gave an impassioned speech about education and the importance of visibility and knowledge, and how different her journey could have been if it was available and ugh, crown her now as she is an icon.

Ru, Michelle and Graham were joined on the panel by Queen Sophie Ellis-Bextor as Fierce Force Five debuted their version of Don’t Ick My Yum and yeah, they were good. Everyone had energy and hit every damn lyric, but it was clearly Cara and Tomara’s show as they gave sultry songstresses, complete with a powerful message for the latter. Backstage the other dolls were proud of their rivals, though clearly nervous about landing in the bottom. That being said, The M52s slayed and TBH, the use of the couch was iconic. I mean, Ginger played Naomi’s foot as a saxophone, damn it. Plus, they were legit good and leant into the fact they couldn’t exactly dance and that is something I admire.

On the Night of 1000 Pop Icons runway, Vicki was a star as Freddie Mercury, serving sex and camp in equal measure. DeDe was an icon as my dear friend Nicki Minaj – she was funny, too – Cara was perfection as Beyonce at Coachella, Tomara was so damn sexy in honour of Elvis – by way of Demi, according to Ru – while Michael was just so good as a frankensteined version of the Spice Girls. Banksie was glorious as Bowie – and oh so perfectly self-cast – Naomi slayed as Lemonade Beyonce, Ginger was a camp showgirl in honour of Elts before Kate closed the show in honour of Shania Twain. And let’s just say, that does impress me much.

The M52s were deemed safe and sent to untuck before Ru congratulated the Fierce Force Five. They were then gagged to learn that despite the win, only one of them will snatch a badge and it would be decided by a lip sync between the top two. Vicki received praise for her stunning vocals and bringing pasties to music. And they loved the glam of the outfit. DeDe meanwhile was praised for being so much fun through the performance and on the runway, for giving the Baby Spice of the group. Cara rightly received wall to wall praise for carrying the dolls through the performance and being, well, the Beyonce of the group. Tomara too was beloved, for giving slutty and sass on stage, though was read for not dragging it up enough on the runway. They lived for everything Michael did, though cautioned her to put down the glitter. Though they did love her demented take on the Spice Girls.

Backstage the safe girls were shocked and excited to be safe, speculating whether the other group had won or whether they were a combination of tops and bottoms. After they came together, DeDe shared how thrilled she was to be in the top again, as the rest of the dolls wanted her to focus on someone else. The top dolls spoke about how disappointed they were not to be able to share the win like Girl Groups of seasons past. Talk turned to The M52s with everyone praising the couch-ridden Naomi before talk turned to how shady Banksie is. 

Ultimately Cara and Tomara were deemed the best of the week, battling it out for victory to Becky Hill and David Guetta’s Remember – aka a bop from my pilates classes, FYI. And damn, it was easy to see why they were the top two divas, continuing their epic run and turning a show. Though rightly, victory went to Cara who was dripping joy and talent all over the stage and again, ugh, she is a star and I stan.

Backstage Cara and Tomara were feeling all of their oats, though DeDe was growing just a wee bit sick of the non-eliminations. To which I say, preach, but knowing the circumstances, I’m ok. Vicki led the dolls in congratulating Cara on victory as DeDe spoke about how close she has come to winning multiple times. Tomara meanwhile asked if anyone felt like they were coasting, with everyone looking directly at Kate Butch and while she assured us she wasn’t pressed. She was. Though I do agree that it is better to coast than be stuck on the rollercoaster like some of the other dolls. Like say, Tomara and Cara.

The next day the dolls were energised and thriving, with Michael focused and ready to finally get her win. Before Banksie could knock any of the dolls down a peg, Ru arrived to put the dolls through their paces in a mini challenge to become the face of new nut-based yoghurt S.P.N.K. And the icon herself, Raven, would be taking the photos. Maybe. The dolls got into quick drag before Michael slayed with smut, Naomi was ratchet, DeDe lost her wig – again – while Ginger was demented. And glorious. Kate was a rabid grot, Cara got physical, Tomara was packing while Banksie was adorably hilarious and Vicki showed hole. Almost. So that is a win to me.

Despite that, it was Tomara who took out the win, which allowed her to pick teams for this week’s maxi challenge where they would be hosting RuPaul Disasterclasses. Wisely, she grabbed Michael and Ginger for herself, then grouped Naomi, DeDe and Kate together, leaving Banksie, Vicki and Cara as the third group. Michael and Co were talking Party, Naomi and Co would tackle Werk while Banksie’s babes would advise on Love.

The dolls split up to talk through the plan with Michael oozing charm and confidence, with Tomara admitting she knew Ginger and Michael were her best shot at the win. And TBH, she doesn’t care about how the other dolls go. Vicki meanwhile pointed out they were team winners, before Vicki spoke about meeting her partner on the apps and Banksie opened up about her partner who is a trans woman. And while they didn’t appear to have much cohesion, Vicki felt she needed to focus on not controlling and as such, stayed silent. Kate meanwhile was trying to help her girls find their confidence and knock it out of the park.

Ru dropped by to check-in with her daughters with Team Party explaining that they will teach bringing the north-east spirit to wherever you are in the world. Team Love were congenial AF, feeling comfortable talking about their own lives and encouraging people to define themselves. Though Ru was concerned they would struggle to find the jokes. Ru meanwhile learnt Yorkshire slang as the dolls spoke Werk, though Kate was the one doing the learning, as Ru questioned her drinking habits. After Ru departed the teams were confident in their ability to be funny, except maybe Cara. Tomara meanwhile checked if the dolls were happy with the teams, before admitting she chose her team because she isn’t dumb.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone splitting up to beat their mugs as Banksie and Vicki bonded over their relationships, with the former beautifully sharing how her understanding of sexuality changed as part of the process of her girlfriend’s own coming out process.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by Suranne Jones on the panel as Team Werk took the stage and while DeDe dripped charm, Naomi was a little eaten up by nerves – the rambling – and forgot her jokes, while Kate, obviously, was light and fun, keeping things moving and ugh, she was good. Team Party meanwhile were all perfect all the time, dropping genuine pearls of wisdom amongst the wall to wall jokes. Making fun of themselves and having the time of their lives. While Team Love were a bit of a bomb, despite all of them desperately trying to bring the energy. Vicki, however, did have some solid jokes and that should count for something. That is until she couldn’t even tell her sisters apart.

When it came to the Slaycation runway, DeDe gave demented dame in the American south. Kate served scuba chic, Naomi gave ski Barbie realness, Tomara gave snow skank in all the right ways while Michael was a work of art on the beach.  Ginger gave intergalactic traveller, Vicki was a camp cowgirl, Cara gave sexy Storm before Bakisie closed the show giving fur and animal print and ugh, it was wild. And stunning.

Tomara, Ginger and Michael were deemed the winners before they were sent to untuck. DeDe was praised for being solid in the challenge and looking stunning on the runway. And for trying to soften her make-up. Kate rightly was beloved for being a stunning host and bringing all the jokes in the challenge. And for thinking outside the box on the runway, despite it being a little boring. And the blonde being a mess. While Naomi was read for lacking all the jokes and bringing no funny in the challenge, though they loved her runway. Vicki meanwhile was praised for the energy in the challenge and the runway, before throwing her sisters under the bus. Particularly Banksie, given she hated the moderation. Cara meanwhile was praised for almost being funny, though read for giving nothing of herself. Though her runway was beloved. Banksie on the other hand was deemed the highlight of the team and praised for her look.

Oh and she was not happy with the other dolls for throwing her under the bus. Opening up to Ru about the fact she made two mistakes, reclaiming the shade and making the others looki petty. And oh so pressed.

Backstage the dolls were thrilled to jag their badges however they couldn’t even talk shit before the bottoms joined them. DeDe quickly admitted she was safe, as was Kate while Naomi was prepared to be in the bottom. Cara meanwhile spoke about feeling disappointed before Vicki tried to school Banksie about throwing her under the bus, for throwing her under the bus and well, it was glorious. The duo then went in on Banksie and while Cara felt she was not worse than Banksie, the latter was fed up and stormed out. Cara then tried to explain to the other girls, with Kate wisely pointing out Cara is being a dick. And well, it was wonderful.

Ultimately DeDe and Kate were sent to safety as Naomi landed in the bottom two. Ru then sent Vicki and Banksie to join the safe girls, leaving Cara to battle Naomi. And prove that Cara truly was worse than Banksie. Despite what she felt. As soon as Yazz’s The Only Way Is Up kicked off, however, it was clear that the panel was going to be Cara’s only stumble this week as she knocked it out of the park, giving camp comedy, every lyric and even air drum. And while Naomi held her own despite her knee injury, there was no eliminating Cara as Naomi found herself exiting the competition. Before uttering the greatest exit line of all time – see you in a bit, dogshit, indeed.

As she arrived backstage, I scooped her up in my arms and gave her a massive hug to thank her for being such a sweet icon. I carried her over to the couch to avoid ruining her good knee before explaining that while usually the first boots are the only ones we remember, after so many non-eliminations this season, she will always be remembered. Plus, her voice is so beautiful that she has won hearts all over the world. And that, my friends, is all it takes to earn a Missionfruit Naomeringue Cartouign-amann.

This glorious little pastry may be a lot of work, but TBH, the feeling of satisfaction of knowing you pulled it off is half as good as the taste. And the taste is simply glorious. Flaky and melt in the mouth, with a velvety meringue and a tart kick of passionfruit, it is perfect.

Enjoy!

Missionfruit Naomeringue Cartouign-amann
Serves: 12.

Ingredients
1 recipe David Croissant
2 cup raw caster sugar
1 tbsp kosher salt
4 egg whites
pinch of cream of tartar
3-4 passionfruit

Method
Prepare the pastry as per David’s recipe, all the way up to the final shaping, at which point switch out to this one.

Preheat the oven to 190C.

Sprinkle raw caster sugar over the bench and top with the pastry. Rotate 90 degrees and sprinkle with more sugar. Fold in half, roll flat, sprinkle with sugar and fold again. Sprinkle more sugar and roll the dough out to be half a centimetre thickness. Cut the dough into 8cm squares and, you guessed it, sprinkle it with more sugar.

Grease a 12-hole texas muffin pan with butter and sprinkle with 1 teaspoon of salt and a pinch of salt to coat. Press each square into the muffin holes and pinch the corners to meet in the centre. Leave to stand for 15 minutes before popping in the oven to bake for 30 minus, or until golden and crisp.

Remove the pastries from the pan and transfer to a wire rack, upside down, for 15 minutes to let the sugar set.

Meanwhile combine 200g of sugar and 200ml water in a small saucepan and bring to the boil, stirring continuously with a wooden spoon until the sugar dissolves. Reduce heat to medium and brush down sides of pan to remove sugar crystals. Leave to boil undisturbed until it reaches 115C.

Start whisking the egg whites and cream of tartar in a stand mixer on medium, until soft peaks form. Once the syrup hits 121C, increase the speed of the stand mixer to high and still running, slowly pour the syrup into the meringue. Reduce to medium and cook until cooled to room temperature and the meringue is thick and glossy. About 15 minutes or so.

Pipe the meringue into the centre of the pastries, top with some passionfruit pulp and leave to rest for about half an hour to set. Then, finally, devour.


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Chickandon Cordonlon Bleu Balls

Main, Party Food, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 45, Tapas, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor we welcomed 18 new castaways to the still glorious islands of Fiji. Well 17 and Bruce, given his first-minutes-of-44-concussion pulled him from that game and since Jeff Probst is a kind and merciful zaddy, he was brought back with another batch of newbies. While he denied having any sort of advantage, this season’s queen Emily called out him on it, pointing that while he didn’t get to play, going through the preparation and knowing players surely set him in good stead. Meanwhile Zaddy Austin found the beware advantage at Reba, which yes, is a tribe name. At tribal council Emily moved on to calling out Kaleb and Sabiyah for being a tight duo in an effort to save herself. That proved unnecessary, however, as Hannah, who was going through it with nicotine withdrawal opted to up and quit instead, allowing our icon to live another day.

Back at camp the tribe reflected on Hannah opting to bounce, with Sean kinda getting it, given they straight up have nothing and are miserable. Emily meanwhile was turning over a new leaf, apologising to Sabiyah and Kaleb for calling out their alliance. She explained she didn’t mean to come from an angry place, while Sabiyah calmly explained that while it wasn’t her intent, it did upset her and as such, Emily’s abruptness led to her isolation. Emily, to her credit, tried to figure out a way to apologise, however Sabiyah wasn’t vibing and instead took herself to the shore for some alone time to breathe.

AND THEN THE THEME SONG FINALLY RETURNED.

After the glorious opening theme finished, we checked in with Reba the next morning where Sifu was rocking some tai chi and living his best life. Which is kinda the polar opposite of how Lulu was feeling. He then jumped around being wild, cutting and punching trees and well, if there is a medevac this season, let’s pencil it in for Sifu. J Maya meanwhile was busy trying to crack the code on the tribe flag and while she openly tried to figure it out, Austin bided his time for everyone to leave so he could whip out his advantage. Which told him to look for an X on a fallen palm tree.

Things were just as good over at Belo as they made fire and lived their best lives. Bruce in particular, who was making a tonne of noise and exuding energy. Sadly for him, only Jake was loving his fun uncle act while the rest of the tribe were growing annoyed by it. And would probably prefer he just admit to being the leader he wants to be. 

We went back to Lulu where Emily was focused on hunting for an idol or clue, desperate to find some form of protection, given she had burnt all the bridges. That spurred the rest of the tribe into action, searching high and low to find the idol instead of her. Sabiyah caught up with Emily to let her know everyone was hunting if they wanted to do it together, which Emily called bullshit on, admitting she knows it just means they don’t want her to find it. As everyone hunted, Brandon was ultimately the one that found the Beware Advantage and immediately passed it over to Sabiyah to open. Methodically, she worked through the clues which directed her to the top of a tree. Sadly, though, the idol was at the very tippity top of said tree, so it remained hidden.

Back at Reba we learnt that Dee has an especially long big toe and for some reason it is now a killer plot point. Julie and Dee caught up by the beach and formed a tight bond. Though being the oldest on the tribe, Julie leant into her mama role and tried to parent her way into an alliance with her. Which she quickly did, with Drew and Austin in tow. Oh and Drew is still convinced he is going to be a dominant power player and ugh, it is funny. Because no.

Over at Lulu, Emily was making in-roads with Kaleb who encouraged her to spend less time focusing on strategy as it is making everyone nervous. He calmly explained to us that he knows it is important to always be open to people in the game, even if you’re not working together, and just like that, she got a second wind. She once again apologised to Sabiyah who returned serve and admitted they were both in the wrong, followed by praising Brandon for his lush hair and assuring Sean she would temper her anxiety. She then had a powerful confessional about how she is learning to overcome her core anxieties and fears and ugh, I love a redemption arc.

The tribes received a note inviting someone to jump on a boat to Journey Island with Drew, Brandon and Bruce heading off, much to Katurah’s absolute irritation. The trio caught everyone up on where things stood at each tribe. Well, now Bruce as he was cagey, while Brandon overshared and Drew wisely offered up minimal information but enough to look like he was deliberately being cagey. The boys split up to find their shot at an advantage, the key being they had to solve a puzzle in three minutes. If they win, they jag the advantage but if they lost, they can’t vote at the next tribal council. Bruce immediately opted out, Brandon was all in while Drew smartly thought through all the risks and TBH, maybe I’ve been too tough on him. Sadly for Brandon he failed, while Drew snatched the advantage and well, I guess I’m now a fan.

Oh and Drew’s advantage is Safety Without Player, which only lasts until Final Ten.

Brandon returned to camp and filled them in on how badly he did during the challenge, with Sean wondering if Brandon has anything to offer the tribe at all, given he hasn’t exactly performed yet. Meanwhile Reba hid from Drew to surprise him before he too opted to give out the full truth and again, I think that is a wise move given it doesn’t really last long. More importantly, it won over Austin who pulled him aside to let him know about his Beware Advantage and I live for this modern JT and Stephen. Meanwhile over at Belo, Brando and the girls rocked their buffs as tops and I love that for him and look forward to him making it to the end with the girls. Sadly Jake and Bruce were aware of the growing alliance and immediately planned to form a counter. Bruce then went person to person trying to get intel. And somehow Brando and Kellie are now the swing votes.

We finally caught a glimpse of Jeffrey as the tribes lined up for the latest immunity challenge where they would climb up a tower and jump off to collect a key, swim to and walk across a balance beam, release puzzle pieces and solve said puzzle. Which has been updated, due to Carson. Oh and the first place tribe would also get a massive fishing kit while second would earn a few bits of gear while the losers get nothing. And the sit out rule has changed and no one can sit out back to back challenges at all, meaning Claire is also living rent free in Jeff’s mind. Emily got Lulu out to an early lead at the balance beam before everyone caught up on the swim. Reba started to pull ahead with Lulu nipping at their heels before Kendra smashed her koochie on the balance beam and fuck, that looked painful. Everyone, obviously, caught up at the puzzle as Brando and Kellie powered through and closed the gap for Belo as Reba jagged immunity just ahead of them, sending Lulu back to tribal council. Thanks to Brandon bombing yet another challenge.

Back at camp Brandon quickly apologised to the tribe for costing them immunity, though assured them he wants to stay. Emily pointed out that it is clearly between them tonight and as such, it is up to the other three to figure it out and left them to come up with a decision. As they tried to jag the idol so Sabiyah could hold on to her vote. Which they finally finally got. Except it is tragically encased in wax, meaning she can’t melt it free and now she needs to win a challenge and get flint before she can get it.

Sabiyah filled Brandon in on what was going on, who praised himself as a social icon and as such, wasn’t too concerned to be heading to tribal with only three votes. Emily meanwhile handed over her Shot in the Dark to Sabiyah to try and form a bond with her and build trust, knowing Emily won’t being trying anything which could risk her. Sadly Sabiyah still wanted to cut her throat before Emily got a chance to turn on her, while the boys tried to remind her that given they will never win with Brandon on the tribe, it makes sense to get rid of him and at least give them a shot.

At tribal council Sabiyah spoke about the feeling of blue balls after Hannah opted out of the game. Brandon admitted he knew it was between him and Emily last time, and that it is still the case tonight. Sean spoke about the fact the duo let them go off to the side to figure things out before Brandon opened up about how he has never been part of a team, though knows he bombed. Talk turned to Emily turning around and making an effort to work better with the tribe. Brandon spoke about the fact he thinks he has just been unlucky and thinks he can be an asset in the next challenge, which Probst called bullshit on, pointing out that he should pitch himself as a waterboy instead. Emily meanwhile spoke about the trauma of watching herself on TV when she gets home, before Brandon opened up about desperately loving Survivor since childhood and how he just hopes that if it comes to an end, he was able to get what he needed out of it.

The tribe then voted and tragically for Brandon, the tribe opted to at least try to jag victory in a challenge and banded to send him home. Allowing Queen Emily to see another day. While I was thrilled by that part of the outcome, I kept my mouth shut as he arrived at Loser Lodge and pulled him in for a massive hug and assured him that his trajectory is 100% how I would do in the game. Plus, in just two episodes Brandon served all the content and as such, he is definitely memorable enough for the inevitable early boots season. Which was enough to earn him a toast in the form of some Chickandon Cordonlon Bleu Balls.

There is really nothing better than a cordon bleu – cheese, ham and crunchy chicken, werk – until you put it in ball form. More crunch, more gooiness and more mobile, making it a win for everyone.

Enjoy!

Chickandon Cordonlon Bleu Balls
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
500g chicken mince
2 cups panko breadcrumbs
kosher salt & pepper, to taste
50g mozzarella, grated
50g parmesan, grated
50g ham, diced
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 tbsp fresh parsley, roughly chopped
½ cup plain flour
1 egg, whisked
olive oil spray

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C.

Combine the mince and a cup of breadcrumbs with a good whack of salt and pepper, and scrunch until it comes together. Divide the mixture into tablespoon sized balls. Meanwhile stir together the cheeses, ham, garlic and parsley in another bowl.

Working ball by ball, make a little indent and fill with the ham and cheese mixture before folding the chicken around to enclose and form a ball.

Pop the flour in a bowl, the whisked egg in another and the breadcrumbs in the last. Coat the balls in flour, followed by the egg and finally the breadcrumbs, and pop on a lined baking sheet. Repeat the process until done.

Give the balls a spray with the olive oil and pop them in the oven to bake for 20 minutes, or until golden brown. Before serving and devouring.


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Diavory Glazalami & Burrata Pizza

Main, Pizza, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 3, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under ten new queens tied their kangaroos down and moved on into our teeny, tiny Werk Room. Forgoing any form of opening photoshoot – which sucks, TBH – the dolls put on an epic Mardi Gras welcome performance. To a megamix of Ru’s hits, no less. Ivory was confident with her uplifting lyrics, until Hollywould and Flor cautioned her to focus more on selling herself. They were then followed by sweet Gabriella, and while the advice was 100% correct, it was enough to make her spiral. Coincidentally, the trio that gave her the advice made up the tops – leading to a well deserved Hollywould – while at the other end of the pack, Amyl too got stuck in her head. With it tragically sending Amyl out of the competition as the Jojo Zaho of the season.

Backstage while Ivory was completely gagged by the fact she won the lip sync, she was glad to be able to prove to both herself and her sisters that she can perform. She congratulated Hollywould on taking out the win before Ashley jumped in and immediately turned the attention to herself, gagged by the fact she was in the bottom but glad her ill fitting outfit was so beloved that it saved her. Rita hilariously jumped in herself, reading it as fugly, which upset Ashley.

The next day things were far less tense, with Ivory vowing to be as loud and gay as possible and show the judges confidence. Aka the thing she lacked in the performance. Flor asked her if she and Hollywould actually got into her head, with Ivory doubling down admitting they did. But before a fight could break out, Ru dropped by to put the dolls through their paces in a sexy selfie boudoir mini challenge. Bumpa Love was up first and well, I love her thunderdome, slutty vibes. Ashley Madison was a mess, but rocked the staging, Flor gave slutty Dora the Explorer like an icon, Gabriella was demented and stunning, Hollywould was just sexy, Isis gave awkward old dominatrix, Ivory was a trainwreck in the best way possible, Ivanna Eiffel Towered her way into my heart and Rita gave shitting the bed. Literally.

After Gabrielle was handed victory – justice for Flor – Ru announced that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be attending Muriel’s Wedding. And they’d need to design their outfits using the bedding on set for their pictorials. It descended into chaos as everyone snatched whatever they could, while Gabriella just flicked through and thought it was all shit. 

As they split up to look through their hauls, Ivanna was confident to not fall prey to Anita’s sewing curse and survive a design challenge. Isis meanwhile was vibing, given she is a very good sewer, Bumpa felt she could safely be middle of the pack, Rita was wanting to stand out while Ivory was ready to have her moment. While Gabriella, ugh I hate it, was spiralling. Though her idea to call her dress Muriel so it could be deliberately terrible and save herself was an iconic idea. Ivanna and Isis were busy working away which started to make Flor nervous, given she has no skills in the area. But unlike her sisters, she knew that she needed to stay confident.

Ru dropped by with Raven to kiki with the dolls, with Isis confidently speaking about her history in bridal design. Which Raven pointed out put a target on her back. Ivory was selling confidence, despite being unable to sew with her gorgeous red fabric. Bumpa Love had Ru in stitches as she sold drunk aunt energy, Ashley threw shade as she shared she was using the exact same fabric as Ivory. But with sewing skills. Obviously Ru and Raven lived for the drama, which didn’t really kick off until they left, as Ivory read Ashley as a tasteless bitch.And like their sisters, I love it. Flor meanwhile was spiralling over the outfit, leading to Isis stepping in to help her. Followed by helping Ivory and then all her sisters, begging the question, is she going to be able to finish her outfit? Gabriella didn’t want to bother anyone though, however sadly it meant she just quietly spiralled. While Ivanna knew she should line her gown, but was worried about having enough time.

Oh and Hollywould decided she hated her fabric and decided to start again.

Elimination Day arrived with rumours swirling that Isis had made a completely new outfit for Hollywould. Which they both emphatically denied – just some hemming – before Hollywould pointed out that they should hope she doesn’t land in the bottom anyway, given she would murder them in a lip sync. As they split up to finish, Bumpa and Rita meanwhile were frustrated that other queens were getting help when they did everything themselves. Meanwhile Ashley asked if Hollywould felt she could best three people, with her hilariously pointing out Flor as one of them, who was right behind her. Talk turned to their relationships, with Bumpa talking about being married for 10 years – with Gabriella hilariously pointing out you get less for murder, which is such an ockerism – before Isis shared a touching story about how much weddings and marriage equality went to making her feel whole.

Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined by Maria Thattil on the panel before Ivanna served bitchy mother in law realness, in white for emphasis. Rita gave cutesie flower girl as she flashed the judges, Ashley’s jealous sister looked ok but her hair was a mess. Sadly Ivory’s dress was such a mess though, it made Ashley look great. Bumpa Love meanwhile sold the hell out of her horny, mother of the bride realness, Hollywould looked SO good as a glamorous flower girl supermodel – thank you, Isis – Gabriella slayed as a fringed showgirl waitress at the wedding, Isis served a draped, gown – though looked dead, according to Rhys – before Flor closed the runway as she sold the party. And I love it. 

Ashley, Gabriella and Flor were sent to safety – with a “thank you so much,” from Gabriella – before Ivanna was praised for her sewing, though read for not lining the dress. Or steaming the garment. And kind of not sharing enough energy. Rita meanwhile was read for not having flowers, though praised for hemming, despite a lack of shape to the gown. While the judges loved Ivory’s presentation, they read her outfit for absolute filth. Specifically the wonky tits and pregnant vibe. Bumpa meanwhile received universal praise for the details and the energy, while Hollywould’s outfit was beloved, thanks to Isis, though so was her energy. Isis meanwhile received wall to wall praise for the look, though Michelle cautioned her to tone down the eye makeup.

Oh and then Rhys offered some important advice, “Why talk about anal beads? Use them!”

Backstage Ashley was thrilled to be safe, though shocked to be there alongside Flor and Gabriella. The tops and bottoms joined them, with everyone agreeing Isis is taking out the victory, while Gabriella agreed with Ashley, shocked that she was safe. Hollywould admitted she is in the top, while Ivanna started to break down, disappointed to be in the bottom and potentially going home on a sewing challenge. Just like Anita. Rita too was in her feelings, while Ivory tried to cheer them up. Ashley asked if that meant she thinks she is safe, with Ivory talking about how she got opposite critiques to last week. Admitting that she is mainly annoyed that she is in the bottom when people literally had their garments made for them.

Ultimately the doll’s suspicion was correct as Isis jagged her first victory, before Bumpa and Hollywould were sent to safety. At the other end of the pack, Ivanna – thankfully – narrowly avoided the bottom, leaving Rita to face off against Ivory. Well, eventually, as Ivory fainted and had to go outside to recover, leaving poor Rita to sit there on stage wondering what the hell was going on, with sweet Gabriella ra-ing her up from the back of the stage. As a wonky Ivory returned to the stage, Ru decided enough was enough and told them that NOBODY would actually be lip syncing tonight. Instead, due to the medical episode, the dolls would have a night to rest before lip syncing at the top of the next episode.

Given the extraordinary circumstances, I decided to bring forward Ivory’s culinary comfort. As she wobbled off stage, I quickly took her under her wing, and while she continued her sassiness, pointing out she is still in the competition, I figured that given she almost went over the edge of the stage, she should be happy. Plus, in her two, soon to be three, episodes, she already proved to be an icon and as such, that is worthy of a celebration. Whether she lives – poor choice of words – to fight another day, or exits as the second boot. And conveniently, Diavory Glazalami & Burrata Pizza is perfect for either situation.

The hot and fiery salami – think week two Ivory – pairs perfectly with the light, creaminess of the burrata – week on Ivory – to give you a nearly perfect pizza. Even if it means she will likely go out next, on account of the pizza curse.

Enjoy!

Diavory Glazalami & Burrata Pizza
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
½ cup passata
2 tbsp italian herbs
¾ cup mozzarella, grated
20 slices diavola salami
1 tsp dried chilli flakes
1 ball burrata, torn

Method
Prep the base as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 200°C. 

Roll out the dough and spread with passata, then scatter with mozzarella, salami and chilli flakes. Transfer to the oven to bake for 20 minutes or so, or until golden and bubbling.

Remove from the oven and top with burrata. Before devouring, like an icon.


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Vespeach and Haloumi Pitas

Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Main, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race France Nicky reminded us – again – how popular the first season was resulting in Paloma’s triumphant victory. Begging the question, is that going to open every episode? Because I both live, and lol. We then pivoted to the actual recap, which was that last week 11 new queens arrived and immediately dropped an absolute banger as they wrote and recorded a new Drag Race France anthem. While there were a trio of iconic performances, Sara Forever took out the first win of the season – justice for Keiona and Punani – while Rose and Kitty Space were deemed the weakest, landing them in the bottom. Being a dancing queen, Kitty was able to turn a show and save herself, sending Rose out of the competition first. As the La Kahena of the season.

Backstage Kitty was holding back tears as she returned to read the mirror message, heartbroken to lose such a sweetheart like Rose. And, you know, to realise that the competition is real. Punani meanwhile was truly gutted to have lost her best friend, while Sara just felt intimidated about what she will be facing each week as they are all so fierce. Despite proving herself fiercest as the winner of the first challenge. 

The next day the top ten had wipes their tears and marched in ready to slay another week. As they speculated what the next challenge could be, they were interrupted by the cocorico signalling the arrival of Nicky. And this week’s mini challenge, where they would get into panda drag in just 15 minutes and they boots the house down to Pandi-Panda which I think was all translated correctly. Thankfully the zaddy Pit Crew were wheeled out with a few supplies and after the queens ravaged their box, they got to work getting Pandafied. Well, Mami did, the rest just looked hilarious. One by one the dolls got up – and off – and slayed their pandied self, dancing in the most unhinged ways until Moon was deemed the victor. I assume for being the most unhinged. 

Before departing Nicky announced that for this week’s maxi challenge they would be throwing a little old talent show. In front of the cast of Season 1. The dolls immediately split up to prepare for the show, with everyone confident they’d be able to impress their Season 1 sisters. Keiona, obviously, was excited to bring some legit vogueing to the mainstage, while Mami opened up to the doll’s that her family doesn’t know she does drag due to how religious they are. To the point her mother signed her up for conversion therapy, and how she still speaks about her mother with so much love in her heart, says all you need to know about Mami. Because that is some fucked-up, horrid behaviour yet Mami continues to be kind. Moon admitted that conversion therapy is still a thing in Switzerland too with some of her friends having had ECT as part of it and oh god, fuck the world and just let everyone live.

The conversation turned more broadly to parents and hearing Moon talk about how parents have a job to accept their kids and make their lives easier sounds so simple but for some people, they just seem to get it so, so wrong.

We did a hard pivot from the trauma bonding of the queens to the mainstage where Nicky, Daphne and Kiddy were joined by Zahia Dehar on the panel before the dolls of Season 1 were bused in to join the audience. And then, and only then, did Keiona take the stage to open the show and absolutely demolish as she vogued the house down and showed just why she is a legend. Punani then was adorable as she gave the stupidest, camp ‘80s workout routine. It was absurd and just perfect. Vespi meanwhile was trollied in with a disco ball on her head until it split in half half-way through, ruining her reveal during a camp robot dance number. Sara Forever then gave demon moan realness before busting out opera lip sync and well, I live. Because they are all ridiculous. Ginger then went a more traditional route, serving comedy with a messy wig and had the judges in stitches. Kitty then bombed with a skit before it pivoted into a sexy dance number.

Well, I think. She was carried a lot?

Mami then gave a powerful dance in honour of her African heritage, complete with a living gown and yeah, it was iconic and I love her, so I don’t care what the judges think. Cookie then did a puppet show and again, it was unhinged, so I love it. Moon then did a lip sync to reveal a claw fingered creature with paint on its fingers which she used to paint a portrait. And again, I live. Piche then stuck with something more traditional, showing off her pipes with vocal runs and all the notes before giving a full R&B performance in the cutest damn tracksuits and yeah, give her the win because it was good. Really good. Whether I am crushing on her or not. 

On the 2 in 1 runway, Cookie went from suit to evening gown however the suit was still visible, so I’m not happy. Keiona went from sexy zebra to a red gowned vixen. Sara served penis to vulva, lika a damn icon, before Punani went from winter to spring and Kitty went from the caged bird to glamorous phoenix. Moon went from Gen Z influencer to boxing bra, Ginger gave Jackie Kennedy to Marilyn – eventually – Mami went from bug to artist’s canvas, complete with her buns out before Vespi went from virgin bride to goddess. But again, struggled with her headwear. Piche then went from Arlesian to a stunning flamenco gown and again, give her the win. 

Ginger, Cookie, Sara, Mami, Vespi, Keiona and Piche were summoned forward as the tops and bottoms, with the Punani, Kitty and Moon heading backstage to untuck. Cookie’s talent show was read for being too safe and for being stuck in her head. Keoina obviously received universal praise for her performance and the runway, leading to her breaking down over how happy she is to be cutting through with the judges and respresenting ballroom. Sara once again was beloved for her – unhinged – performance, Ginger’s runway received top marks as did her killer comedy before Mami was read for having a strong start in the talent show, though going nowhere after that. Vespi meanwhile was praised for her outfit though read for offering no reveal and for the general mishaps in the talent show. Piche on the otherhand received universal praise for the perforamnce and for giving a full moment on the runway.

Backstage the dolls reconvened with Piche very excited by how much the judges love her, while Keiona was worried her runway would cost her the win. Mami meanwhile was in her feels, worried about potentially lip syncing as the dolls rallied to remind her how much they loved her runway. Vespi too was sure she was lip syncing as Cookie felt like her inner saboteur had gotten her tonight.

Ultimately Keiona’s fears were correct as she was sent to safety alongside Sara and Ginger before Piche took out her first win of the season. As she deserves. Vespi was then sent straight through to the bottom before Mami was sent to safety, leaving Cookie to join the battle for survival. But as soon as Lara Fabian’s Tout kicked off – again, gagged we’re hearing thisin Australia and not hold music – it was clear that she was not going anywhere, feeling all the emotions and hitting every lyric. Not to say Vespi didn’t slay, as she did, destroying her garment as she stripped off, but sadly, this is the kind of song that lends itself to a legend and Cookie knocked it out of the park, saving herself and sending Vespi out of the competition.

Backstage, sweet Vespi was in her feels, heartbroken to be out of the competition so soon. Particularly since a lot of it came down to things going wrong for her, rather than the concepts. I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that she still got to show off her talent and given the hijinks, it kind of made her more iconic and as such, she should be able to benefit from it. Kinda like the French version of Farrah Moan. With that, she was pretty chuffed – I mean, hello All Stars – and gladly sat down to celebrate her brief run with some Vespeach and Haloumi Pitas.

Sweet, sticky and salty, these little veggie kebabs are such a surprising delight. Everyone’s favourite squeaky cheese works perfectly with the peach to provide a surprising, delicious summer BBQ treat that will have you coming back time and time again.

Enjoy!

Vespeach and Haloumi Pitas
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
540g haloumi, cut into 2cm strips
4 yellow peaches, pitted and cut into segments
60ml olive oil
8 sprigs thyme leaves
⅓ cup honey
1 tsp chilli flakes
1 lemon, juiced
salt and pepper, to taste
¼ cup basil leaves
8 Pita Andre Bread

Method
Pop a griddle pan over medium-high heat as you thread haloumi and peach onto skewers, alternating as you go, until you fill the skewer. Brush the skewers with oil and once the pan is scorching, add the skewers and cook for a few minutes each side until they are crisp and have a little bit of char about them. Remove from the heat and keep warm.

Combine the thyme, honey and chilli flakes in a saucepan and cook over medium heat for a few minutes, stirring as you go, until it is caramelised. Stir in the lemon juice and immediately remove from the heat. Season to taste.

Pour the syrup over the skewers and serve with the pitas and a generous helping of basil.


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