Vanilla Extract

Mikey Sparrokey Ice Cream

Dessert, Snack, Survivor NZ: Nicaragua, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor New Zealand, a new challenge beast emerged in Barbs getting her head back in the game … briefly, before joining Avi and Tom to get rid of Nate and hand victory to one of the boys. Nate buried the hatchet with Mike and Jak on redemption island, which may come in handy since Jak dropped his coins and Nate returned to the game with Mike.

Back at camp the weather was hella gloomy, probably mirroring the feelings of Avi and Tom … which Mike picked up. Tom was feeling safe after surviving the previous tribal council without immunity, while Nate was feeling nervous – obviously – since he was booted by three of the five remaining players less than 48 hours ago.

Tom and Avi hung out playing cards on a blanket, while Barb perched in place in the hammock. Tom was glad Jak didn’t return to the game, which is obvious since that is one vote he has locked up. Avi then threw a curveball and mentioned that maybe going to the end with Tom and Mike would be a good idea, since they would split the boys votes. Which makes me super angry because it would come at the expense of queen Barb.

Nate and Mike were rightfully feeling on the outs, knowing that they’re only hope was Mike winning immunity and them somehow convincing Barbs to flip on the boys she is trying to help win. Which is obviously super unlikely, but goals hey?

Matt decided to join the fray for the immunity challenge, requiring the final final five to stand a series of blocks on a teetering tray held stable by them on the end of a rope – you know it, it is in most seasons of Survivor. Queen Barbs got out to an early lead … until she wasn’t, Mike then took the lead … until he wasn’t. Tom then closed the gap and overtook the serial droppers, taking out his US record equalling fifth immunity win. Hopefully that doesn’t foreshadow him becoming a runner up like Colby, Ozzy and Culpepper.

Back at camp Barb and Avi were quick to congratulate Tom, while Mike was feeling a wee bit more dejected. Mike approached Barb in her hammock throne and proved that 17 days on redemption haven’t helped his ability to scramble. He then bitched and moaned about her gameplay and age in confessionals, inciting my rage despite dem nips.

He then tried his luck with Nate who honestly just didn’t seem to give any fucks. He still hopes to win though, he is just bored with Mike.

Mike continued to talk about convincing Nate and Barb to join him in voting out RV, which I think he actually believes is Avi’s name. He then had a crack at trying to sway RV, though I don’t think it will happen … SINCE HE DOESN’T KNOW HIS NAME. Though realistically, it is in Avi’s best interests.

Avi then caught up with someone who knows his name, Tom, and spilled all the goss, terrifying Tom and me. Because let’s be honest, Tom is the only hope we have if Barbs doesn’t win. Everyone then gave some ambiguous grabs as we heading to tribal, though the outcome is still somewhat obvious.

Matt pointed out that Mike has spent most of the game on redemption island before the latter took the opportunity and ran with it, giving an arrogant monologue that highlighted how little he knows about the tribe’s dynamic. He derided Barb’s game, saying she rode the coattails of Tom and this fictitious player RV, and would never win. Barb then went in for Mike and pointed out that once again, she is the one casting the deciding vote and berated his stupidity. Essentially. Tom then support Barb, again carrying her I assume, before Barbs returned to berating Mike, highlighting that being disrespectful isn’t the best way to win her over. Mike then tried to backpedal, before Barb told everyone she does not give a fuck about how the jury perceives her game … because she knows she is the dominant queen of Survivor NZ.

Nate and Avi then said some stuff, Barb was sassy before Mike continued to trash Barbs’ game and tried to force Tom to give up immunity with the power of his mind. Thankfully Tom wasn’t moved by his powers, keeping immunity as everyone joined together to vote out Mike.

But let’s pause a second to acknowledge that … HE DID IT, HE VOTED FOR RV. HE LITERALLY THOUGHT HE WAS NAMED AFTER A RECREATIONAL VEHICLE FAVOURED BY RETIREES.

While I oft swing between loving Mike (‘s nips) and hating him, his domination of redemption island was extremely impressive. As was his ability to win everyone over on their way to the jury, which probably would have worked if he made it to the end. Which he didn’t, thoughe he did earn some Mikey Sparrokey Ice Cream.

 

 

Hokey pokey is a New Zealand icon, kinda like how mIke was the icon of redemption island. Though with the whole fresh ice cream with an insane vanilla punch, paired with a tonne of honeycomb … can you really blame the Kiwis?

No, you can’t. Enjoy!

 

 

Mikey Sparrokey Ice Cream
Makes: 1L.

Ingredients
600ml double cream
375g condensed milk
3 tbsp vanilla extract
2 cups broken up honeycomb

Method
Combine the double cream, condensed milk and vanilla extract in the bowl of a stand mixer, and whisk on low until soft peaks form.

Remove from the mixer, fold through the honeycomb, transfer to a container and freeze overnight.

The next day, remove it from the freezer and devour.

 

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Leekoumaden Haan

Dessert, Snack, Survivor NZ: Nicaragua, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor New Zealand, the least fun sausage fest – because of Jak, obvi – decided to throw the challenge and eliminate Shay to protect Shannon and Mike’s girl Georgia, who was a sure thing to beat Shay at redemption island. Sadly though, that didn’t actually happen with Georgia’s house of cards crumbling just before the end of the challenge, sending her out of the game and Shay back into it.

With Georgia exiting stage left, Matt announced that the recently returned Shay would be joining the newly formed Casar tribe with the 9 remaining contestants – yep, that is the roundabout way of saying that the tribes had merged!

Shay was feeling pretty proud to have reached the milestone and confident that her OG alliance would be able to regain control. While Mike was thrilled to snag some fries, he was still heartbroken about Georgia’s exit and was fairly confident that he was well screwed. Avi was thrilled to have Shay back, giddily hugging her on the way to the well as she caught him up on the awkwardness of the least sexy sausage fest and spill the t that Tom’s plot to pretend to be on her side did not actually fool her.

Back at camp, Jak continued to prove that he is the least funny person on the cast. Not allowing him to have any more screentime, Shannon reconnected with Mike to weigh up  her options and talk smack about Barb. Speaking of Barb, she and Nate continued their rise to power players, taking in everything that was going on.

Shannon and Avi joined up on the beach to discuss the boys trusting her, Jerk coached Tom on basic strategy and how best to win Avi over and Lee looked pretty in a tree. Tom and Avi then joined together to discuss the former’s faux-plan to take out Shay before turning on Mike and Lee, which Avi was not buying for a second.

The next day, Sala and an underwear clad Avi went from a stroll along the beach making me wetter than the waves on the shore. This made Tom and Jerk nervous, though the latter was super confident about his dear ally Shannon so was feeling ok. Showing a continued lack of self-awareness, Jak approached Shannon and Avi to outline all of their plans and lock in the fake final four alliance with them and Tom. On the other end of the spectrum, Sala, Barb and Nate were feeling relaxed and confident and sounded like they were ready for happy hour.

Dragging out the period between the merge and the first post-merge elimination, Matt returned for the first individual reward challenge where competitors are required to remember sequences of images for chocolate cake. Nate quickly fell out of the competition, followed by Barb, Lee, Avi – or RV if you talk to Mike – Jak and Sala, before Mike took out victory. He was then given the opportunity to share it with two people, giving it to Shannon and Shay who tied for second with Tom. While Tom told the girls to take the cake over him, Sala wasn’t buying that it was a kind gesture and continued to be suspicious of his ex-tribemate.

Trying to be helpful, Lee decided to fix the shelter so that the tarp would provide more coverage. While Sala appreciated the fact he was working hard, he found it rude that he decided to do it while Nate was sleeping. I however would argue that Nate sleeping and being lazy is probably the bigger sin, though I do think Lee is a total babe, so maybe I’m just being defensive? Despite the fact that it provides more coverage for the entire tribe, Barb and Nate were also pissed about Lee’s handiwork and continued the selfish narrative.

Poor Ange-Lee the spoke about how he just wants to provide for the tribe and help keep the camp running. He then had his longest confessional to date, about want to play with integrity and coast through with his allies making me extremely anxious that we are approaching the fall of my lover.

Avi and his undies – boy is he trying to take my heart away from Lee, or what – joined Shannon by the shore to discuss their plans, enjoying their place in the middle though if we learnt anything from Julia and Aubry, sometimes the person in the middle gets run over. Proving my fears correct, the sausage fest grew concerned that Shannon wasn’t actually with them.

Barb then continued to bitch about Lee for cooking an eggplant looking thing for the entire tribe, without consulting them first. I mean, I get it could be annoying but he is just trying to help. Seriously, this is making me sympathetic to the sausage fest.

After a brief pow-wow between Shannon and the sausage fest to complain about the complainers, Matt arrived for the long-awaited first individual immunity challenge where the tribe had to balance their balls on a disc, held up by ropes which is where we find out how smutty Matt can be. Shay, Avi and Sala quickly fell out of the challenge before Matt had even said anything about ball play. Jak and Tom soon followed before the second round commenced, still without a ball pun. After round three, Nate and Lee dropped their balls before my balls were reminded that Mike is actually kinda hot. Barb dropped out, leaving it to Mike and Shannon to fight for immunity before the wind picked up and lead to the latter dropping her ball, handing immunity to Mike.

While Shannon was talking about her experience in the challenge, Barb suddenly fainted  – I assume from expelling too much energy complaining – with Matt opting to send the tribe back to camp while she received treatment from the medic.

Not dwelling on her potential medevac, the tribe quickly got to work locking in their sides for tribal with the boys targeting Shay and Hermosa 2.0 targeting Lee, with Avi and Shannon in the middle with the ultimate decision. Thankfully for the olds, Barb returned to camp giving them the upper hand as they headed off to tribal … depending on who Shannon and RV actually decide to vote with.

At tribal, Nate and Shannon spoke about the importance of trust which is something the latter is about to break with four people. Lee said that the tribe was all over the shop and that he was just trying to stay out of the drama. Matt confirmed that everyone was guaranteed to make the jury, before asking Tom and Shay if that means that big moves will start to occur to win people’s votes in the end. Mike was thankful to have won immunity, confident that he was likely to have received votes otherwise. Little did he know how lucky he actually was, with RV and Shannon sticking with Hermosa 2.0 and Shay to vote out my babe-town Lee. Who was pissed, though thankful to be heading to redemption where he could easily Ozzy his way to victory.

Not wanting the remaining nine to feel too confident, Matt announced that they would be competing in their next immunity challenge then and there, before voting out another person from the tribe. He quickly stripped Mike of immunity before tasking them with remembering some very easy – what does fire represent in the game – and some completely fuck off hard – how many times has Matt worn a green hat. Thankfully Matt butchered the pronunciation of Nicaragua again before Jak sadly took out immunity.

Without so much as second to scramble, Matt tried to send the tribe to vote before Mike did his best Hali impersonation, stopping the vote and trying to woo people to his side and get rid of Shay. Shay then pointed out that Mike had won two of the three individual challenges this season and anyone would be mad to flip. Which was a compelling enough argument as Mike was sent to Lee’s arms on redemption island.

After a brief interlude of Lee and Mike suffering in their jocks on redemption island and blaming Shannon, we returned to camp where Nate and Barb were feeling smug for taking down the boys while Shannon was feeling nervous about ever going to redemption and having to deal with their rage. Oh and Tom got a glimmer of hope with Barb whispering to him that she’d keep him in the game as long as she can. Maybe she will win me over?

The next day, Shay was feeling nervous after barely surviving the first two post merge tribals, despite being in the majority. She joined Nate and Sala by the ocean to discuss next steps, with Tom being the obvious target despite Nate not thinking he is a problem that needs to be dealt with yet. While that is going on, Tom was correctly predicting that Nate and Barb would not sit idly by as Shay and Sala took control. Nate then zigged when I thought he was going to zag and suggested that getting rid of Shannon and throwing her to the wolves is always a possibility.

Meanwhile Jak was not having a good day and proceeded to bitch to himself about the olds taking his cool friends out of the game. Sucking up his pride, he then approached Barb to see what she was thinking and whether there was any hope for him. The most shocking part of the segment is that both of them were quite likable and seemed to be stepping up their games. She then got tea-bagged and I finally got her.

Not wanting to leave me hanging for long, Matt returned for the reward challenge – the infamous coconut chop from the Marquesas – for five Pizza Hut pizzas for four people, because that allegedly is too many for one person? I love you … but fuck you, Matt. Shay was out first, immediately followed by Tom, then Jak, Shannon, Sala and Avi, leaving Nate and Barb to battle it out, with the latter taking out the win. To make the challenge more controversial, Barb then had to select three people to share the pizza with, going with Nate, Jak and Sala – to keep the latter feeling safe so that she can take him out.

After the brief break for product placement and Shannon to chop a coconut, she and Sala went for a chat where Sala told her that Tom and Jak were telling everyone they couldn’t trust either Shannon or Shay.

We then checked in with Lee and Mike who were still feeling sad about Shannon’s betrayal, though at least Lee is still killing the hair game.

Back at camp, Barb approached Shannon to float the idea of getting rid of Sala which delighted Shannon who also wanted him out next. Barb then took this information to Jak, who took it to Tom … which definitely means Sala wins the next immunity challenge, right?

But before we get to the issue of the next tribal, we have to actually get rid of someone from the game – yep, the babe-off duel has arrived! While Lee is far prettier, Mike is more ripped, so I don’t even know who I want to see take out the win. After a bit of smack talking about Shannon, the boys got down to the challenge – which sadly wasn’t naked greco roman wrestling – where they had to balance a beam, empty some sacks and put the contents of said sacks into holes. The last part being a puzzle, obvi.

Sadly for my first love Lee, Mike and his nipples got out to an early lead that never really dissipated – even when some of his bits weren’t in the right spots – with him taking out the duel and sending Lee out of the game and into my loving arms at Pounderosa. While he was completely gutted to be out of the game, I’ve long known the way to his heart,  which like all men, is through their stomach. More specifically though, my Leekoumaden Haan.

 

 

While he never really warmed to the idea of being calmed my little honey puff as a nickname – nor was he into making me his creampie – he was always keen to down a few of these Greek delights. Lightly spiced and pillowy, the puffs are then drowned in honey and fill you with joy.

Enjoy!

 

 

Leekoumaden Haan
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
7g active dry yeast
1 tbsp muscovado sugar
2 cups warm water
3 cups plain flour
¼ tsp salt
pinch of freshly ground nutmeg
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1 tsp cinnamon
vegetable oil, to fry
½ cup of honey, for puff drowning purposes

Method
Combine the yeast and sugar in a jug with the water. Stir and leave in a warm place to get all foamy for about five minutes. Once ripe and puffed, pour into the large bowl of a stand mixer and slowly stir in the flour, salt, nutmeg, cinnamon and vanilla. Chuck in the dough hook and mix for a couple of minutes, or until the dough is smooth. Cover with cling and leave to prove for a couple of hours in a warm place.

Pour enough oil into a pot to fill it 2 inches – you don’t need more, but then again frying scares me. Do what you think it right? Place it over medium heat until hot. Working in batches, slide a few tablespoon sized dollops into the oil, making sure not to crowd the pan. Flip the puffs a couple of times, cooking for about five minutes total or until golden. Remove the puffs with a slotted spoon and allow to drain on some paper towel while you repeat the process until the batter is done.

Once all the puffs are cooked and crisp, heat the honey in a large frying pan over high heat. Toss the puffs through the honey, serve immediately and devour.

 

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Macarooney Mara

Dessert, Snack, Sweets

Honestly – there aren’t enough kind words in the sixteen most common languages in the cosmos to describe how wonderful Rooney is. I mean, I don’t want to be off brand and sound like i’m gushing … but damn, she is simply the greatest.

Roons and I met each other in the early noughties while attending Fox Lane High School, and quickly bonded over our similar familial backgrounds. She is one of four siblings, I am one of four siblings, in both our cases, there is also an even split of genders … I mean, we’re essentially the same with just that. But let me tell you, it doesn’t stop there – Roons is the heir to the Pittsburgh Steelers / New York Giants dynasties, I was the heir to a fruit and vegetable empire that supplied the food to the production company that does I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here.

Oh – you’re welcome for feeding the (all too brief) love of Peter Andre and Jordan.

To top of the similarities, she is from a football family and my dad was – for some reason – on a football card. So yeah, we had a shit tonne in common at school before we even realised that we were both hella cool, artistic and destined for Hollywood greatness.

As I’ve already mentioned, we did have a brief period of nastiness when I found out she was working on Lion with my then nemesis Nicky Kids but not only did she win me back, she sorted through mine and Nicole’s issues and made us the best of friends.

Given she is now eligible for sainthood despite being alive, I wanted to make something as pure and sweet as my girl to say thanks. And there is nothing more pure and sweet than my Macarooney Mara.

 

 

Macaroons are quite possibly the easiest thing you could possible make which I think adds to their deliciousness. I mean seriously, if you ever have an extra egg white you can throw together a batch in less than twenty minutes. Plus, they are sweet, toasty coconut – the BEST … like Roons.

Enjoy!

 

 

Macarooney Mara
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
2 egg whites
⅓ cup raw caster sugar
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1 cup desiccated coconut
1 cup shredded coconut

Method
Preheat oven to 140°C.

Whisk the egg, sugar and vanilla until the sugar dissolves. Add the coconut and stir until well combined.

Divide the mixture into golf-ball sized little mounds and place on a lined baking sheet.

Place in the oven and bake for 12 minutes, or until golden and firm.

Remove from the oven and cool completely on the tray before serving … or resign yourself to eating it with a spoon.

 

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Chocolate Creampie Trang

Baking, Dessert, Pie, Snack, Survivor: Game Changers – Mamanuca Islands, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor, Brad won immunity again and Aubry felt everyone was against her. Which they were, booting her in fifth place.

Once again, Probst was quick to return for the final immunity challenge of the season – an epic obstacle, water slide, puzzle combo. I mean sure, it looks pretty simple but after starving for 38 days, this is guaranteed to be a struggle.

Brad got out to a an early lead, which was just as quickly taken by Sarah with Troyzan hot on her heels. Sarah continued to extend her lead, while Troyzan struggled with his second bag and fell out of it. Then out of nowhere, Brad overtook Sarah snatching the last bag of puzzle pieces and made quick work of the puzzle, equalling the record by snatching his fifth individual immunity.

Turns out he was able to do what Monica would do, going from a pre-merge boot to a finalist on his second attempt.

Back at camp, Troy jumped straight into Brad’s arms knowing that as the biggest goat remaining, he too was guaranteed to be a second runner-up. They quickly agreed that getting rid of Tai was the best plan, particularly since Brad is confident the jury will reward his challenge prowess and his experience as a lawyer guarantees him a better performance in front of the jury.

Tai made a last ditch plea to Sarah to vote for Troyzan and force a firemaking challenge between one of them and Troy. Sarah appeared to be swayed, knowing that she could potentially beat everyone remaining and a successful win in the challenge is yet another point as far as the jury are concerned.

We returned to tribal council where Aubry made a play to snatch the jury facial expression crown from Michaela. Brad was proud to be guaranteed a spot in the final but was concerned about who would be joining he and Troyzan in the final tribal. Sarah and Tai agreed that it was one of them and that if they want to go to the end together, they had to try and force a tie.

Tai started a smear campaign against Brad’s bullying, before Brad gave the jury a live show. Troyzan was quietly confident, but given how most of the tribals have gone this season couldn’t bring himself to feel safe. Sarah kept looking back at Brad and Troyzan nervously, clearly confused as the headed to vote … luckily for her, the odds were in her favour with her joining the boys to boot Tai from the game.

As you know, I met Tai when he supported my one man, nude version – did I mention it was nude, because it was – of A Midsummer Night’s Dream in Golden Gate Park. While it wasn’t as celebratory as our previous Ponderosa pow-wow, Tai was still the most upbeat and positive person in the room.

That being said, who doesn’t like a nice wet creampie? That sounds dirty. Who doesn’t love a  chocolate-y creampie? Still off. I gave him a Chocolate Creampie … Trang.

The Trang saves it from being smutty, right?

 

 

Sweet, slippery, sticky and altogether delicious, this is the second best creampie a guy could ask for.

Enjoy!

 

 

Chocolate Creampie Trang
Serves: 8-12.

Ingredients
1 ⅓ cups chocolate biscuits, blitzed to a crumb
75g unsalted butter, melted
¼ cup plus 1 tbsp raw caster sugar
⅔ cup muscovado sugar
¼ cup cornstarch
pinch of kosher salt
4 egg yolks
3 cups milk
30g unsalted butter
200g dark chocolate, melted
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup double cream

Method
Preheat the oven to 160°C.

Combine the biscuit crumbs, 75g melted butter and the ¼ cup of raw caster sugar in a bowl until combined. Press the base into a pie dish and bake for 15 minutes, or until crisp. Remove and allow to cool.

While that it chilling like Tai finding idols, whisk the muscovado sugar, cornstarch, salt and yolks in a heavy-bottomed saucepan until combined and slowly stir in the milk. Bring to the boil over medium heat, while whisking, reduce heat to low and still whisking, simmer for a minute or so or until it is thick. Sieve the custard into a bowl and slowly whisk in the chocolate, butter and vanilla. Cover with clingwrap and cool for a couple of hours.

Once cooled, transfer to the crust, smooth over, cover and place in the fridge to chill for a few hours.

When you’re almost ready to devour, lightly whisk the double cream with a tablespoon of raw caster sugar until it forms soft peaks. Spoon over the pie, slice and devour.

 

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Will Horcharnetta

Cinco de Cuatro Celebration, Drink

While Lucille isn’t fond of Gob in the slightest, Will Arnett is one of my closest friends and I’m so glad that he could take the time out of his busy Lego Batman-ing schedule to reconnect.

As you know, his ex-Amy Poehler is one of my best friends and while their divorce was tough on their children and I, they both put in a concerted effort to ensure that we all knew that they both still loved us and nothing will ever change the way they feel about us.

I feel like it may appear like I sided with Amy in the divorce – given the fact I passionately ride her (and Teen’s) coattails – but I will always hold my boy Wills dear to my heart. We first met on the set of SATC and were bonded by a mutual disappointment in how dated the show would be in but a few years.

Wills has been hella busy lately promoting The Lego Batman Movie – which my nephew has given many rave reviews for FYI (don’t tell Will I haven’t seen it yet) – and so it was such a treat to hang out and celebrate Cinco de Cuatro / find ways to ensure the second season of Flaked is better received and less about a man child / get a role on BoJack Horseman.

Obviously that is so pretty rugged terrain to traverse – and since we’ve both had a past with alcohol – I thought I’d whip us up a fresh batch of Will Horcharnettta.

 

 

There is nothing better than rice pudding and cinnamon … but mix them together and turn them into a drink, and you’ve got a holy elixir. Spicy, refreshing and joyous, it is the perfect thing to help reconnect friends and celebrate a fake holiday.

Enjoy!

 

 

Will Horcharnetta
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 cup rice, aggressively rinsed
1 ½L water
1 cinnamon stick, broken in half
1 tsp vanilla
½ cup muscovado sugar

Method
Combine the thoroughly rinsed rice in a saucepan with the water and cinnamon and leave to rest overnight.

The next day, bring the rice to the boil over high heat. Reduce to low and allow to simmer for half an hour. Remove from the heat, stir in the vanilla and sugar, and allow to cool.

Once cool, remove the cinnamon and blitz everything with a stick blender until smooth. Strain through cheesecloth and chill in the fridge for an hour or two.

Then down, over ice.

 

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Haylie Duffoutis

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Sweets

Ok – so let me start by clearing up the family connection Annelie and I have with the Duffs, and by that I mean that yes it is a scam … but the Duff girls, as yet, are unaware. Ipso facto, this week’s date was all about us sisters, doing it for themselves.

Which coincidentally is the song that I convinced Hayls to record as a girl-group with our younger twin sisters Hizza and Annelie. Oh … and for some reason, Hayls thinks I’m genderfluid and it may be because that was the only way I could convince her to finally join forces on the forthcoming album Up the Duffs.

I should get on with this though, shouldn’t I?

As you know, I thought I got my now-faux-sister fired from 7th Heaven as a way to bed Simon Camden both on and off screen … but turns out, she actually stuck around until the end. And here I was thinking she had the patience of a saint! Despite the fact she didn’t forgive me for the sacking that didn’t occur, she is still the absolute sweetest and it just seems like the kind of thing she would do.

Hayls was so excited to be catching up and desperately tried to braid my inch-long hair, pillow fight and swap clothes, in an attempt to make up for the sister time we’d missed out on in childhood.

I mean, it was so adorable and delightful that I almost felt bad for continuing the scam … but then I whipped up a Haylie Duffoutis and came to my senses on a full stomach.

 

 

Like her sister, Hayls is so sweet that I can’t bring myself to cook her anything but dessert and this one takes the cake. Despite, ironically – maybe, I don’t know, ask Alanis – the fact this is not a cake … but something far, far better.

Clafoutis may not be classy – some would argue it is peasant food – but who cares about class when you have sour cherries dotted into a baked custard-esque dough/cake/batter/however you’d describe it.

In any event, enjoy!

 

 

Haylie Duffoutis
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
1 cup milk
4 eggs
⅔ cup raw caster sugar
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 tbsp butter, melted
½ cup plain flour
2 cups pitted morello cherries, drained

Method
Preheat oven to 160°C.

Whisk together the milk, eggs, sugar, vanilla and butter until well combined and the sugar dissolved. Add the flour and whisk until smooth.

Pour the batter into a 30cm pie dish, scatter over the cherries and bake in the oven for 30-45 minutes, or until puffed and golden.

Serve immediately with a dusting of icing sugar or some fresh cream.

And obvi, devour.

 

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Rachel Bilsonta Hats

12 Days of Chrismukkah, Baking, Cake, Dessert, Snack, Sweets

You can’t celebrate the 12 Days of Chrismukkah without my dear friend, the pocket-rocket portrayer of the gloriously rage-filled Summer Roberts … Rachel Bilson.

Deep breath – what a freaking (long/terrible) sentence, amirite?

I first met Rach – and spotted her talent – in early 2003 on the set of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I was part of SMG’s entourage at the time but was taken in by Rachel’s spunk. As soon as I saw her perform, I knew that she was the only person that could play the role of Summer and do just to her season 1 catch-phrase “ew.”

While we had a brief falling out after I tried to set her trailer on fire after she began dating Adam Brody (I had fantasised about us becoming a twincesty couple), she understood my complete lack of logic/basis in reality and forgave me within a week.

The girl, it needs to be said, is a damn saint.

(Her sweet, forgiving nature is the only way I could forgive her for marrying Hayden Christensen, who broke my heart on the set of Life as a House when he wouldn’t play sweet dixie with my behind… but that is another story for another time. Plus I worked that line into Hart of Dixie, so how could I stay mad?).

I haven’t been able to see much of Rachel since Hart of Dixie was egregiously axed – which is actually about my life as a small town Alabama doctor falling for a myriad of similar looking men – given how busy she is with my dear god-daughter Briar Rose Christensen, so it was such a treat to be able to reconnect over some festively appropriate Rachel Bilsonta Hats!

 

rachel-bilsonta-hats-1

 

Sweet, delicious, kind-healthy (yay whole strawberry!) and completely kitsch, these little babies are the perfect festive bake for those dreaded office Christmas morning teas.

Or as a gift for people you actually like. Like the Bilson-Christensens – enjoy!

 

rachel-bilsonta-hats-2

 

Rachel Bilsonta Hats
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
2 cups plain flour
¼ cup valrhona cocoa
1 tsp bicarb soda
1 ½ cups raw caster sugar
¾ tsp cinnamon
½ tsp ground ginger
¼ tsp nutmeg
¼ tsp cloves
¼ tsp allspice
1 cup buttermilk
200g unsalted butter, melted
2 eggs
1 tbsp white vinegar
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tbsp red food colouring
Icing
500g cream cheese, at room temperature
2 cups icing sugar
120g butter, at room temperature
1 tsp vanilla bean paste
strawberries, tops sliced off

Method
Preheat oven to 170°C and line muffin muffin pans with paper cases – quantity will depend on the size you want, but I can make 8 Texans.

Sift all the dry ingredients into a bowl and whisk the wet ingredients in a large jug until combined.

Make a well in the centre of the dry ingredients and stir through the wet ingredients until just combined. Then stir through the food colouring. You can use a stand mixer – like I do, because I’m lazy – but just remember that the best muffins are the ones that are barely mixed, so just do it on the lowest setting and only for as long as it needs.

Divide the mixture among your pans and bake for 20 minutes or until a skewer inserted into the centres comes out clean. Remove from the oven, transfer to a wire rack and allow to cool completely.

While they are getting chill, combine the icing ingredients – sans strawbs – in a stand mixer and beat until smooth and fluffy.

To assemble, smear each cupcake generously with icing, top with an upturned strawberry and top said strawberry with a dollop of icing. Ta dah – bilsonta hats!

Devour.

 

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Melissa McPumpkin-Pecanthy Pie

Baking, Dessert, Oy with the turkeys already!

It is without a doubt that my dear friend Mel has had the most stratospheric rise since Gilmore Girls tragically came to an end.

I mean yes Loz had Parenthood, Ed now lives on in our heart, Yanic opened a spin studio, Scott appeared on 90210 (he is definitely her closest competition), Kelly had Bunheads, Keiko guested on Shameless and Liza is getting away with murder, but Mel was nominated for a damn Oscar so it is no competition.

As you can probably guess, I played a huge role in Mel landing the role after Alex had to vacate after the pilot. We had met at one of her cousin Jen’s parties and quickly became friends because we are hilarious, charming and are both future Oscar winners. Obviously only I knew that at the time.

Given Mel has been super busy – so busy she almost missed out on filming the revival … although I’m gutted the scandal wasn’t all an elaborate lie to hide her involvement – we haven’t been able to see each other as often as we would like.

Oh and there was that little fight we had when she wouldn’t let me on the set of Ghostbusters due to “making Chris uncomfortable.”

Thankfully, the holidays cure all and allowed us to heal the wounds, celebrate the revival and more importantly take some time to remember why we are such damn good friends. Obviously all of those things require splitting a delightful Melissa McPecanthy-Pumpkin Pie.

 

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So you know that awkward moment when you buy all the ingredients to make a Pecan Pie only to remember that AJ McLean vowed to disown you if you ever made one for someone more famous than he? Well this little festive gang-bang is sure to act as a perfect loophole.

Plus … the only thing better than a pumpkin or pecan pie, is a pecan-pumpkin pie. Just don’t tell Vandy.

Enjoy!

 

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Melissa McPecanthy-Pumpkin Pie
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
Pastry
125g unsalted butter, cold and diced
225g flour
2 tbsp cocoa powder
pinch of salt
1 ½ tsp icing sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
60ml cold water
Filling
250g pecans
1 cup pumpkin puree
340g muscovado sugar
generous pinch of salt
1 tsp cinnamon
70g unsalted butter
1 ½ tsp vanilla extract
115ml cream
6 eggs

Method
Combine the flour, cocoa, salt and icing sugar in a bowl before adding the butter and pressing with your fingers until the dough resembles wet dirt – not sand due to the cocoa, obvs. Mix in the vanilla extract and water, bit by bit, until the smooth dough just comes together.

Shape the dough into a disc, wrap in cling and refrigerate for an hour.

Preheat oven to 180°C, spread the pecans over a lined baking sheet and cook for ten minutes while the oven is coming to temperature. Remove and allow to cool.

Combine the puree, sugar, salt, cinnamon, butter and vanilla in a large saucepan over low heat and whisk until combined, butter melted and sugar dissolved. Remove from the heat, whisk in the cream and allow to cool for about ten minutes. Once cool, whisk the eggs through, one at a time, whisking to combine after each addition.

Get the dough out of the fridge and roll-out between two pieces of baking paper until it is 3-5mm. Press the dough into a 26cm pie dish, trim the edges, line with baking paper, fill with baking weights  and blind bake for about fifteen minutes. Remove the weights/paper and bake for a further five minutes. Remove from the oven and rest for about ten minutes.

While the crust is settling, add the pecans to the filling, stir thoroughly and add to the crust. Smooth out the top and bake for about 45 minutes, or until set and browned.

Remove from the oven, allow to cool for about half an hour and devour with ice cream.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.