Vegetarian

Chickpea & Tophie Clarry

Main, Survivor, Survivor: Winners at War, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Survivor Jeff decided to thank his collection of winners by rewarding them all with a full family visit each, without even needing to compete. Both in the game and on the Edge. And ugh, it was honestly so sweet and beautiful. Sadly, the lovefest couldn’t last forever and after Tony took out immunity, things returned to chaos. Sophie and Sarah were deemed too close, Kim was too much of a threat and, Sarah and Tony didn’t like that Jeremy targeted her, so wanted him dealt with ASAP. Sadly for them, he used his Safety without Power advantage to leave the tribal council thwarting their plans. Sarah in turn stole Denise’s vote, Kim played her idol for Denise and it was all for nought, as Tyson was booted from the game once again.

Koru returned to camp where Jeremy was patiently waiting to find out who had been voted at the tribal council he bailed on, disappointed to discover that his ally Tyson had, once again, been voted out. Tony and Ben put pressure on Jeremy, questioning why he up and left despite openly wanting to take him out at the tribal council. Ben told us that he was happy to ride to the end with the five he voted with, while bickering with Jeremy in the present at camp. Meanwhile Michele and Kim were catching up, unsure what and who to believe any more. Michele rightly deduced that they are on the bottom and that they need to figure out how to get out of the mess, if they want any chance at winning. And given she has been playing from the bottom this entire game, I think we can all put to bed the fact that she didn’t deserve her first win. Winchele has game and honestly, is a modern icon.

While everyone proceeded to sleep, Tony was sitting up and decided that now was the right time to bring out a little of his Cagayan self again. He had successfully played a quiet pre-merge and managed to be the last remaining threat in the game, and now he could actually start to strike. Obviously that started with idol hunting under the cover of darkness, however sadly, he didn’t find anything before dawn when Nick joined him. Tony smartly sent him to search an area he had already checked, pretending to work together, which thankfully allowed him enough time to find his first idol of the season. Much to his boyish bloody delight. And again, I love him too.

As sun rose over Koru, Sarah was trying to find her new passion now that she has been a cop and a criminal, ultimately settling on fashion designer. And oh my God, is she actually funny and super charming. I mean, is this season just further proving why each person won their respective seasons. She had the tribe in stitches as the fellow girls modelled her stitches and craft. Well, everyone except for Tony, who felt it was a bit lame. As such, he decided to play the other side and bonded with Jeremy, Michele, Denise and Kim to figure out what they were planning by lulling them into a false sense of security. His play appeared to be working on Jeremy, however Michele appeared to be warily optimistic and Kim – classic Kim – saw right through him. She shared her fears with Denise, who strongly agreed. And as such, they both decided that getting rid of Tony should be their priority.

Over at the Edge of Extinction Tyson was talking to everyone, wondering if they were strong enough to handle losing the game. Given he has lost three – or four – times now, he was confident he would be ok, but worried about the newbies. Speaking of newbies, Natalie was bonding with Parvati on a walk before they stumbled upon a message in a bottle. The icons vowed to keep it secret and got to work searching the island before they realised the latest advantage would be hidden under the bed. Where the rest of their friends were hanging. At sunset, Parvati charmed everyone to go watch it with her on the other side of the island leaving Natalie to snatch the advantage. Giddy, the girls caught up away from everyone and discovered that they had found an Extortion Advantage, which gave them the chance to demand as many Fire Tokens as they want from someone in the game and if they failed to pay up, they’d be blocked from playing in the immunity challenge AND voting at the next tribal council.

They weighed up the options of whether they genuinely wanted Fire Tokens or simply to screw up somebody’s game, though Parvati suggested that they need to target someone totally chaotic who would refuse to back down. Obviously we then cut straight back to Tony, where we learnt that the icons – I wish they aligned – had charged him six tokens to retain his options. Oh and Nick spoke about the internet calling him a vampire and while it is not important to the plot, I feel it needs to be documented. At first Tony was thrilled about his advantage, until he realised that the extortion was against him and he had to pony up six tokens before the next immunity challenge.

Right on cue Denise appeared with treemail advising them of the upcoming immunity challenge, leading to Tony approaching his fake allies and asking for their tokens so that he can help them take power. He first approached Michele who expertly lied about spending all her money on an advantage in the return challenge on the Edge of Extinction, to avoid him knowing the truth. Tony obviously bought this hook, line and sinker and offered to go talk to Jeremy on his behalf. Jeremy freely offered up one of his tokens, meaning Tony had 4 in his possession. He then approached Nick, who offered one up with barely a thought. As did Ben, getting Tony out of the mess and proving why he is a bloody legend of the game. 

At the immunity challenge the tribe would balance on a narrow beam and try to hold a statue on the end of a long pole. Tragically Kim was the first to drop her statue, while everyone else survived until the final section of the beam. Which took Denise, Michele and Sarah out in the quickest of succession. Tony started to struggle, however it was Nick and Sophie who were the next to drop, leaving Tony, Ben and Jeremy to battle it out. Well, until Ben and Jeremy dropped out of nowhere, handing Tony his second individual immunity ever.

Back at camp Kim wasn’t thrilled that Tony had won immunity, though was glad that he had painted a larger target on his back until she could find numbers to get rid of him. As such, she approached Sarah, Sophie, Nick and Ben – none of whom she trusted – to formulate a plan to split the vote between Jeremy and Michele at the next tribal council. With that intel, Kim and Denise approached Jeremy to see what he was planning to do and the three suggested voting out Ben instead. When in actuality, Denise and Kim were planning to blindside Jeremy. Speaking of Jeremy, he was hating on Ben, annoyed by literally everything he does, so approached Michele to lock in the vote.

With everyone calm and locked in, Tony decided that now would be the time to cause chaos and make a move, still wanting to target Sophie and free up Sarah, so that he is the only one she is loyal to. He lay in wait until just before tribal council before pulling Nick aside to see if he would join him in blindsiding Sophie, with Jeremy and Michele. While Nick was keen on the plan, Jeremy felt like Tony was lying and wasn’t open to the idea, given he was more interested in getting rid of Ben. Unaware that Tony truly was trying to save him.

At tribal council Sophie spoke about the distrust caused by everyone playing their advantages and idol last tribal council, given nobody had shared the information with everyone. Ben agreed that it put everyone on edge, with Jeremy succinctly selling it as everyone telling half truths. Sarah said now was the time to start building resumes, while Nick countered it is the hardest thing to balance; making a move to build your resume without becoming a target. Sophie spoke about the importance of building a strong resume without it looking like padding. Jeremy said that they need to remember that getting to the end is something else they need to focus on, because a resume is nothing if you are fourth. Jeremy, Ben and Sophie all spoke about how quiet it was back at camp, while Michele was just happy to lock in a plan quickly while Tony tried to turn it around and say that everyone was just exhausted from the previous scramble. Before Sarah spoke about the majesty of a blindside and pulling it off against such strong competition.

That obviously led to everyone voting and oh fuck, I am sad. Poor Sarah realised that she wasn’t the best, as Tony blindsided her and Sophie, sending the latter from the game with an idol in her pocket and leaving Sarah as an irate island. While Sophie took her exit in her stride, she admitted to me she was rather shocked and pissed as I pulled her in for a hug outside. I let her in on the fact that this season has kind of proved why everyone won their first season, and even when blindsided, they have cemented their legacies. And I would say none more so than Sophie (and Winchele, but that is an aside) – she dominated the pre-merge, was smart and flexible and damn I hope the Chickpea & Tophie Clarry gives her the energy to win the return challenge and take out the game.

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times – there is nothing better than a curry. And given this one is vegetarian, it also gives you that smug feeling that it is healthier than usual. Though, when it tastes this yummy, that probably wouldn’t even cross your mind.

Enjoy!

Chickpea & Tophie Clarry
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 tbsp olive oil
400g firm tofu, cut into a 3cm dice
1 onion, diced
400g can chickpeas, rinsed and drained
½ cup korma paste
400ml coconut milk
½ cup vegetable stock
1 ½ cups frozen peas

Method
Heat a tablespoon of oil in a large skillet over high heat, and stir-fry the tofu for a few minutes or until golden and crisp. Transfer to a plate.

Pop the remaining oil in the skillet and release to a medium heat and cook the onion, stirring semi-frequently, for five minutes or until soft and sweet. Add the chickpeas and brown for a couple of minutes before adding the curry paste and cooking out the flavours before finally stirring in the coconut milk and stock. Stir to combine, bring to the boil, add the peas and simmer for 15 minutes, or until gloriously reduced.

Once the sauce has come together, add in the tofu and cook for a further minute or two before serving one a bed of rice and devouring.


As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Fried Davioli Genat

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: All Stars, Main, Snack, Tapas, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor, 24 players returned to the game looking for revenge, redemption or both. Or in Shane and Jericho’s case, to prove they’re the Sandra Diaz-Twine of Australian Survivor. Sadly neither earned the title this go around as Shane and Jericho went out back-to-back, echoing the US All Stars. Once the former winners were out of the way, Daisy was the first to be brutally blindsided from the game with an epic play between David and Mat. She was then followed by Season 2(/4) icons Michelle and Henry.

After those tragic eliminations, Shonee kicked off an epic revenge arc, destroying all the people that thought she was weak, starting with Lydia followed by Abbey and my love John. After that arc finished, Mat fell followed by Phoebe, Flick and Nick, who narrowly missed becoming the first juror for a second time.

Once the tribes came together, David pretended to be on the outs with his swap tribe before blindsiding Locky and taking control post merge. While Harry was the next to go, the game took a heartbreaking turn as Lee was pulled due to a family emergency. His exit was followed by the most overly-complicated non-eliminations before Zach was officially (eventually) felled. Jacqui was then cut for turning on her allies, followed by the tragic exit of our Queen Shonee. A.K. was the next to exit before Brooke’s immunity run cost Tarzan his place before Queen Brooke was also cut. 

After winning the final immunity challenge, David eliminated his biggest competitor Moana, setting the stage for him to battle against former runner-up Sharn. While she improved on her previous performance in front of the jury, Sharn’s messier game wasn’t respected as everyone but her bestie Moana joined together to crown David the Sole Survivor.

Which given he managed to play one of the most dominant, American-series-esque games of Australian Survivor with a massive target on his back, it is what he deserves. David came in with his loss and Pia’s subsequent win fresh in his mind, with him clearly learning from her game to perfect his own. Not just a showy gamer this time, David worked on perfecting his social game which ultimately protected him and made the jury want to award him the prize. And me, some Fried Davioli Genat.

The only thing I love more than a Golden God nude scene is fried food, so these little morsels were the perfect way to honour his victory. Glorious cheesy pasta, coated in crumb and fried until the inside is gooey? Sign. Me. Up.

Enjoy!

Fried Davioli Genat
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 cup buttermilk
1 tsp freshly ground pepper
2 cups panko breadcrumbs
500g packet cheese ravioli
vegetable oil, to shallow-fry
1 cup Spicy TomaJones Sauce, to serve
½ cup freshly chopped parsley, to serve
¼ cup grated parmesan, to serve

Method
Place the buttermilk in a bowl and the breadcrumbs and pepper in another. Dip each ravioli in the buttermilk,  followed by the peppered crumb. Transfer to a lined plate and repeat the process until they’re all good to go.

Pour about 3cm deep worth of oil in a dutch oven oven medium heat until nice and hot. Working a few at a time, add the ravioli and cook for a couple of minutes each side, or until golden (god) and crisp. Transfer to a paper towel lined plate and repeat the process until done.

Serve immediately with some Spicy TomaJones Sauce by its side, covered with a winning sprinkle of parsley and parmesan. Then devour, victoriously.


As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Lydia Lassila 2.0

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: All Stars, Australian Survivor: Champions vs. Contenders (2018), Drink, Snack, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor after Shonee and Zach were booted to exile, Jonathan decided to switch up the tribes. Before the icon and her newfound friend returned to the game, with each being sent to one of the new tribes. Filling Abbey with dread, given she was reunited with Shonee. New Mokuta won the first reard challenge after the swap, where they won an enigmatic Pandora’s Box. Which they took back to camp and learnt that two keys were hidden on the island, with the first person to find one and open it claiming the ultimate advantage inside. Everyone was off and racing before Nick found the key, roped in Phoebe to be his lookout and grab the extra vote advantage before anyone noticed. Mokuta once again proved unstoppable in the immunity challenge, leading to a showdown between Abbey and Shonee. With Locky, Brooke, AK and Flick firmly planted in the middle. Thankfully fellow fourth-placed robbed goddess Flick chose to side with Shonee, and the tribe blindside Abbey from the game.

We checked in with Mokuta the next day where Moana and David were bonding over their improved surroundings. However the uncertainty about who opened Pandora’s Box was driving David mad, and as such, he got to work trying to find the culprit and in turn, find out the advantage they claimed for themselves. While he listed the potential thieves though, he conveniently missed Nick … who was at that very moment doing a David impersonation with a really cute scarf. That I need now, please and thank you Nick.

Over at Vakama Shonee was living for her breakfast, flying high on the killer tribal council the previous night. Like Arya Stark, she was thrilled to cross a name off her list and was ready to keep going. Knowing that she gets by on her personal relationships, Shonee continued her charm offensive and bonded with her season-mate Mat. I mean, he even made the Queen a friendship bracelet – I live! Mat too was trying to make as many friends as possible, knowing that he was reunited with Lydia, who is out for her own revenge from their original season. When he and Shane blindsided her. Speaking of Lydia, she was trying to do a complete 180 on her game, targeting the strong, athletic Mat. With that, she tasked John to go make friends and why isn’t he doing a nudie run? That is the John I love.

Returning to Mokuta, Zach was giving me the goods, washing off, flashing his buns and OH MY GOD, do I love Zach?


Before I could explore my feelings or boner, Nick was feeling nervous about the state of play on Mokuta, given they haven’t been to tribal and he isn’t sure where the loyalties lie. He was confident in his alliance with Sharn and Lee, knowing that David and Phoebe were together and Tarzan, Moana and Jacqui were close, and as such, he needed to snap up one of the other groups to take control. And use his extra vote if needed. Feeling less nervous, Moana was thankful to have two of her closest allies with her, loving the new beach and fired up to make some moves and get back to her dear friend Mat. Unlike her besties however, she was nervous about David and as such, wanted to get him out ASAP. Mo approached Sharn to share her fears about David and suggested splitting up his pair with Phoebe. She then approached Nick to point out that David and Phoebe have been spooning, and as such, are aligned and need to be dealt with.

The tribes arrived to meet Jonathan and were shocked to learn that tribal immunity was placed on pause and that today, each tribe would compete amongst themselves for individual immunity and both tribes would go to tribal council tonight. Said challenge would require everyone to stand on a pole, holding two discs between a hand and the side walls. With the last ones standing on each tribe taking immunity. After a matter of minutes, John and Locky became the first two out of the challenge – nudie run? – quickly followed by Harry, while nobody from Mokuta had even dropped. Well, until I jinxed them and Moana dropped, while everyone by Jacqui looked close to death. Lee was the next to go, followed by a distraught Phoebe, Shonee, Mat and David.

Taking a leaf out of Shane’s book, David started to strike up a conversation with Moana, assuring her that he won’t target her tonight. Nick was eliminated from the challenge as the duo spoke about hooking up, with Moana keen to be his new Luke. Tarzan dropped out to give Jacqui a better shot at the Mokuta immunity, before Lydia lost her chance at the Vakama one. Not very athletic, no? Zach was the next to drop, leaving Sharn and Jacqui to battle for Mokuta’s immunity, while Brooke, AK and Flick were still alive for Vakama. Until I jinxed them and AK was eliminated, leaving the ladies all to dig. Ultimately Jacqui proved unbeatable, as Sharn finally dropped her discs. Meanwhile the Vakama challenge proved more interesting as Brooke and Flick continued to fight, neither wanting to give up given the fact Flick blindsided Flick in their first season. Not that we’d know, since Flick hasn’t spoken all season. One thing she has done is drop though, handing Brooke immunity.

Back at Vakama Shonee was thrilled to get rid of another two of her enemies, looking forward to getting rid of Lydia. And I assume, hoping Lee or Sharn go on the other. Lydia decided now would be the time to try and befriend Shonee, which she immediately shut down given they have no relationship and Lydia needs to exit her beach. Shonee, Locky, AK, Brooke and Flick caught up to lock in the plan, with everyone more than ok to stick with Lydia. Speaking of Lydia, she was desperate to find a way out of the situation and decided her best chance would be to pitch a Mat blindside to flush his idol … and get revenge for Champions vs. Contenders I. With that, she approached AK and Harry and wisely appealed to their egos, telling them a vote for her is boring and blindsiding Mat would be great for their resume.

AK was keen to go with the plan, but only if Lydia could convince John – easy – Brooke and Locky to join with them. Lydia approached the latter to see how they were feeling and despite it being risky, knew it was her only shot. Sadly for her, however, it didn’t go unnoticed by Mat, who quickly deduced that he was her target and was working overtime to convince people to join her. Begrudgingly Mat approached Locky to see what was going on and pledged his allegiance to his former nemesis to stay safe for one more vote.

Side note, everyone reminded us that this is All Stars about 1000 times and I hate it.

Meanwhile over at Mokuta Jacqui was thrilled to have secured individual immunity before David scurried off to see whether he could convince Zach to align with him. They met up in the shallows and when Zach seemed open to voting out Nick – the OG snake – David commenced rallying the troops, pulling in Lee and Sharn, knowing that Phoebe would also be keen if it saves themselves. Not resting one his laurels, David reached out to Moana to see whether she can bring herself, Tarzan and Jacqui in on the vote, working together long enough to keep Mat happy if they reunite. With Mo and Co. keen, everything seemed to be done and dusted.

But damn, the Moana that slayed Russel is back and I am so thrilled to see her again. She caught up with Sharn and suggested that instead, they target Phoebe to weaken David’s alliance and free up Nick. And she has zero qualms about it, given she told Dave that she would be loyal to him at the merge … but they haven’t merged yet. I mean, that is low-key iconic. Speaking of icons, Phoebe was nervous about losing Nick and as such, pulled him and Sharn aside to catch them up and find another vote. Sadly for Nick, however, he suggested Moana as the next best option. The same Moana that is a dear friend of Sharn outside of the game.

Both tribes arrived at tribal council before Lydia spoke about the pain of Abbey being thrown under the bus and booted last tribal council. She then smugly spoke about there being cracks in the tribe, insinuating that she had been successful in using them enough to make a move. Mat admitted that he was nervous after receiving votes the night before, AK spoke about the ever-changing dynamics on the tribe and John admitted to being completely left out and just dragged along by the rest of the tribe. Lydia said that she was even further behind John, which makes no sense, given they are calm and dependable. And there are people sitting quietly on the tribe, waiting to fuck, shit up. Locky admitted to the tensions in their tribe, though wouldn’t commit to any one person being more of a threat than any other. Talk turned to cars, with Mat saying he is in the car, but not driving it before AK decided to just claim the wheel and then told Jonathan that the vote won’t change a thing. But will give them more room in the shelter. Which made Mat just a little bit nervous.

Jonathan turned his sights to Mokuta, with Jacqui sharing how thrilled she was to finally feel safe at a tribal council. David admitted that everyone was wary of tribal council, given the tribe hasn’t had the chance to solidify their allegiances. Moana spoke about how lovely the new tribe was, glad to take some time to chill, bond and move past the dramas on the previous tribe. This annoyed Phobe, who said the issues were clearly still there since she wasn’t invited to go swim and bond, and as such, she was nervous. Nick spoke about exploiting the cracks in the alliance, David said he was trying to plan for the future and Moana said she was confident and just wanted to vote.

While Phoebe and Sharn started to whisper, David agreed with Moana that he was feeling confident in the vote ahead. Which Sharn and Lee agreed with, all seemingly putting a lot of weight on this vote for dictating the rest of their games. Moana suggested someone will be surprised by the outcome of the vote, which made Nick feel nervous, reminding everyone that only Jacqui is safe. Speaking of Jacqui, she too … was confident in the plan going ahead.

Jonathan decided to add one more twist to the proceedings, announcing that while each tribe will be voting somebody out, only one would be exiting the game as the duo will face off in a fire challenge, leaving the victor to return to their tribe, desperate for some Shonee style revenge.

With that, the Vakama tribe kicked off the vote-a-palooza, followed by Mokuta, before Jonathan revealed that Lydia was narrowly voted out of the former ahead of John. Much to Shonee’s slyly, smug delight. While the more confused Mokuta narrowly settled on Queen Phoebe over Nick and Moana. With that the women approached their fire stations to prepare for battle, with Phoebe nervously checking in on Lydia’s fire-making ability. Which she self rated with a half-hearted, “yeah good.” But, yeah, nah, they weren’t so good, as Phoebe quickly got a spark – under Dave’s guidance – while Lydia focused on building a tee-pee before focusing on the flame. With Phoebe first to get flame, she desperately worked to build it up. Her kindling quickly lit up, but just as quickly went out, giving Lydia hope. Though it was misplaced, as Phoebe relit the flame and got a roaring fire before Lydia even managed a spark, returning herself to the game and sending Lydia home.

Despite openly complaining about Lydia for most of the season, I was sad to see her arrive at Loser Lodge. Until I learnt that the other option was Phoebe, though I didn’t tell her that. The fire she showed this entire episode reminded me of how great a villain she was in the first episode, so I decided to finally take her in my arms, apologise for our ongoing feud – she got me banned from the Olympics because I cheated, or something – and make her a kinda, Lydia Lassila. 2.0.

 

 

Like Lydia’s slightly improved game this season, I decide to see her previous Lydia Lassila and change it just enough to be new, fresh and exciting. Out are the juicy, juicy mangoes and in are the strawberry and rose water. The latter of which gives a very feminine, glamorous edge, in honour of Queen Shonee who is out for athletic blood.

Enjoy!

 

 

Lydia Lassila 2.0
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 cups frozen strawberries, defrosted
2 cups natural yoghurt
½ cup milk
2 tbsp honey
¼ tsp ground cardamom
¼ tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp rose water

Method
Chuck everything in a blender or food processor.

Blitz for a couple of minutes, or until well combined.

Pour into a glass and down, like an Olympic Champion that was bested by our queen, icon, legend Shonee.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Daisy Porrichardson

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: All Stars, Australian Survivor: Champions vs. Contenders (2019), Breakfast, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor 24 All Stars returned to the game, bringing out the best version of Lydia, which coincidentally is a gloriously petty villain. She landed on a tribe with Shane, quickly cutting her, leaving Shonee to be the one true queen of All Stars. Who was currently planning to partner with Nick and Harry to cause some chaos. Meanwhile the other tribe were less dynamic, though mainly because Locky is a babe and Dave is charming and not much else happened. Though Locky did almost get naked in a challenge again? Despite making fire without a flint, Vakama’s luck quickly ran out and they attended their first tribal council, where they too cut the throat of the only former winner on their tribe, Jericho.


The next day Vakama seemed relatively unfazed to have lost Jericho. Particularly Daisy who was feeling her oats in the mega majority, planning to partner up with Locky and form a power couple. Which you know is going to come back to bite her. Particularly since Phoebe and Brooke are also single and interested, and he only has eyes for Brooke. Mainly because she is not a bogan like Daisy. They then played a jungle version of The Bachelor which ended in Locky picking nobody. BECAUSE HE IS IN LOVE WITH ME.

Probably.

Meanwhile over at Mokuta, the tribe were loving their lives after a night off. They jushed up the camp, Shonee was an icon, Lee couldn’t throw and John was an iconic … before we finally checked in with Sharn, who was trying to play a low key game. That being said, she was growing close to both Lee and John, particularly the former as he is the only other person in the game that knows what it feels like to make it to the end and come up with nothing. The poor thing then started to cry in her confessional talking how hard it is to lose by one vote and hot damn, I hope she doesn’t come up just short again. Unless they give out a second place prize. Hint hint.

Back at Vakama, Jacqui was reminding us that she and the olds plus Moana are well and truly on the outs, however she trusts Mat implicitly and as such, feels like they will be able to work their way out of their shitty position. Particularly since Mat is so fired up to find a way to save them and as such, he planned to approached Henry if they lose the next immunity challenge  and ask him to hand over his expiring idol. Though he may not need said idol, since David is holding a Lydia sized grudge against Daisy and was itching to get his revenge against her, despite being part of a majority alliance. For the first time. With that David approached Mat to float the idea of controlling each side of the tribe and work together to knock out the people that would benefit them the most. Which Mat loved the sound of, since it will save him and also is so unexpected

My love Jonathan arrived for the latest reward challenge where the tribes would complete three mini-challenges from previous seasons, with the first tribe to win two winning coffee. The first challenge required two people to build a puzzle wall and then toss bags to knock them over with Mokuta putting up Henry and Lee – looking for some episode one redemption – against Locky and AK from Vakama. Right out of the gate Henry and Lee powered ahead, tossing bags and knocking down half the puzzle before the others had even finished the puzzle. So yeah, Mokuta 1, Vakama 0.

The second mini-challenge required some to hold up a net while another two toss coconuts in their rivals sack, the last one standing scoring the point. Zach and Locky faced off holding their sacks, while John and Lee tossed their nut at Locky’s sack and David and Mat aimed at Zach’s. Despite a strong strategy from Locky to shake his sack about, the weight quickly piled up – because Locky was taking nut after nut, obvi – and my sexy zaddy dropped his load, handing victory to Mokuta without even needing to play the final stage of the challenge.

Oh and Mat asked Henry to give him the idol should Mokuta win the next challenge. Which Henry loved as he can’t get enough of making a big move.

We followed the victorious Mokuta tribe back to camp where they giddily discovered their coffees, complete with a magazine on the history of Australian Survivor. Lee got to work making the kids a cuppa, while the tribe sat around reading the magazine and learning about everyone’s sneaky past. With Harry and Nick feeling particularly nervous, given it makes them look super sneaky. Thankfully it reminded us of Sharn’s idol shitting moment and hot damn, it hurts to laugh so hard.


Shonee’s story was iconic, classic Shonee. Abbey’s reminded us of her fight with Steven, Lydia’s rubbed salt in the wounds of her blindside, Michelle was reminded of losing the fire making challenge and we finally heard from Zach, who we learnt was trying his hardest not to be a misogynistic pig.

Back at Vakama Mat was still hopeful the Henry would give him the idol, though wasn’t resting on his laurels, pulling David aside under the cover of darkness to see whether David would tell him where the votes are going, so that he can play said idol and vote someone out of his alliance. Which David was all in on IF Mat’s alliance all vote for Daisy.

Sweet, ripped Jonathan returned for the immunity challenge where the tribes would face off in groups of three to push giant wooden balls around a pen to shoot a goal, with the first one scoring a point for their tribes. First up were Tarzan, Locky and AK vs Henry, Harry and Nick, with Tarzan showering Henry with kisses like an icon, while Locky manhandled Nick and Harry while AK desperately tried to score a goal. Henry pulled himself away from the love fest, leaving Tarzan to make a dash for it until all hell broke loose and everyone was randomly running and tackling each other – sadly keeping their pants – until Vakama snatched a win. Next up Lydia, Michelle and Abbey destroyed Flick, Brooke and Daisy, in large part thanks to a beast performance from Michelle, if you ask me. The last battle featured Dave, Tarzan and Mat facing off against Lee, Henry and Zach, with Zach and Tarzan taking time to have a little meet and greet before they started to grapple. Oh look, John is in speedos on the sidelines – swoon! Eventually Henry and Zach managed to overpower David, allowing the former villain Zach to score the winning point, and immunity, for Mokuta by a matter of seconds.

After the challenge multiple people caught up with their pre-game alliances on the other tribe, allowing the perfect cover for Henry to hand over the idol to Mat without anyone noticing. Wait, no, AK definitely saw him and shit, this plan isn’t going to work, is it?

Vakama returned to camp to commence scrambling, with Mat growing more and more annoyed by the majority’s arrogance around camp. With that, he looped Jacqui and Moana in on the plan to play the idol on whoever they plan to load the votes on, and they just need to get good intel from the majority. On the flipside, AK shared what he saw at the challenge with them all agreeing to load the votes on Jacqui, put a couple of Moana and tell Mat that the latter was the target to blow his idol. One by one they diligently informed Mat that they were targeting his closest ally. Well except for David, who let him know that Jacqui is the real target and as such, Mat locked in his plan to play his idol on her. Mat looped in all his allies and told them that they must vote for Daisy and honestly, the plan can’t actually come to fruition, can it?

Meanwhile David was feeling nervous about his plan falling through and as such, pulled Daisy aside to share how nervous he is about the upcoming tribal council to make her feel like he is the target. As they were catching up, however, Tarzan started openly searching for an idol and as such, the majority decided that they needed to hunt for it first. Everyone was openly looking around camp before Locky and Brooke spotted a tree stump with a hole in it, with Brooke running up to it and snatching the hidden immunity idol, making tribal council super interesting. Particularly since David planned to make them so nervous about him going home so that when Mat plays his idol, Brooke wastes her idol to protect him. Which led to Mat running around to the majority to give a last minute plea to them to target David.

At tribal council David acknowledged the very large and very clear division in the tribe, though admitted that as the majority, he is thrilled about everything. Moana got to work painting a target on Dave’s back, calling him the leader of the alliance, though admitted she is still happy with her little four. Mat piled on the David-is-our-target plan – making Locky sad that he isn’t viewed as the leader – while David masterfully played up his fau-paranoia into the mix, whispering to his allies to confirm their plans and make them nervous. Jacqui joined the fray talking about the futility of searching for cracks when their minds are made up, leading to some sass looks from Daisy. Talk soon turned to idols, leading to Mat commences whispering to Locky and Phoebe that now would be a good time for them to flip to his side.

After Jonathan called him out for whispering, Mat decided to play defeated leading to some amazing faux-sass at David. This then angered Daisy who called him out for not fighting and told him that things change and he needs to start trying hard. With that the tribe voted before all hell truly broke loose – Sue’s Big Move, this was not – as Mat pulled out his idol before Jonathan even grabbed the urn. He then played it for Jacqui – after a brief psych out – leading to Flick placing her head in her hands, showing him that he made the right decision. David then started whispering to Mat asking if the votes were piled on him, leading to a nervous Brooke reaching into her bag to grab her idol and play it on Dave. As such, Jonathan read the votes, with five votes for Jacqui negated, two votes counting for Moana and the other four piling on Daisy and sending her from the game.

Poor Daisy really had the worst luck of anyone this season. I mean, I was watching her get sent to Exile on her last season in Loser Lodge when I was interrupted by her getting booted for the second time. I pulled her in tight and assured her that she was always going to have a target on her back coming from the most recent season, and that she is and always will be, an All Star. After realising I clearly was channelling RuPaul, I pulled myself together and whipped her up a big bowl of Daisy Porrichardson as she headed out to the airport to do post-game press for her OG season. Which just felt so savage.

 

 

But what is the cure for a cruel blow? A warm, comforting bowl of freshly made porridge. It may not be the most complex dish to make, but with a sprinkling of sugar and the potential addition of some sultanas, there is nothing better.

Enjoy!

 

 

Daisy Porrichardson
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
1 cup steel cut oats
1 ½ – 2 cups milk, eater’s choice
muscovado sugar, to taste

Method
Combine the oats and 1 ½ cups of milk in a saucepan over medium heat and cook, stirring, for five to ten minutes.

Adjust the milk depending on whether you like your porridge runnier or thicker, and stir to heat through.

Serve in a heaping pile in a bowl, covered in a heavy sprinkling of muscovado sugar. Or whatever topping you prefer.

Enjoy!

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Jericho Maloo Bonda

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor (2017), Australian Survivor: All Stars, Side, Snack, Tapas, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor 24 giants of the game returned to the island to get revenge, redemption or to detain their crown. John still loved speedos, Shonee is still a queen and Locky is still bae. After a gruelling opening reward challenge the Mokuta tribe got to claim a pre-built luxury camp, leaving Vakama to suffer through their first day. Thankfully though it lit a fire under them, or more specifically Locky, as he dominated the challenge and secured immunity for the flailing tribe. Back at camp Lydia quickly got to work getting revenge on Shane, rallying the numbers to take out our queen despite her valiant efforts to save herself.

The next day Mokuta were decidedly more upbeat, though mainly because Shonee was telling an iconic story where she pulled over an uber to pat a dalmation, bonding with its owner and then getting employed as his personal assistant. I mean, thank you Shonee. And thank you editors for making up for the severe lack of Shontent leading up to the season.

While everyone was falling under Shonee’s spell, Henry went slinking through the jungle to take a look at his latest idol. Rather than trying to make inroads with his tribe after isolating himself by aligning with Shane. He returned to camp and immediately started chatting to Harry by the fire, hoping to throw him off the scent that he voted for him the night before. Speaking of Harry, he got to work wooing Shonee, suggesting that the two of them should align with Nick. And just like that, I like Harry because he has exquisite taste and I want to be their best friend.

We finally checked in on Vakama where poor Locky was still rubbing his stick, desperate to start a fire while Jericho was like a phone when it is out of battery. Meaning, obviously, that he is running on empty. What a wordsmith?! While Phoebe didn’t call him out and calmly sat chatting, AK and David joined Locky to work on the fire. While once again AK grew tired of the calmness, hoping to lock in some allies and cause some chaos. The battle lines, apparently, were drawn by age lines with the old hags aligning, while the hotties – like him – all wanted to work together. Which was great for David, given he is super pretty but also almost 40. So I assume he is the swing vote, and honestly, I want to swing on him like a big old vine.

Adding to his beauty, he continued to rub his stick well into the night until finally, he got an ember and started a fire for his freezing tribe. I mean, what a beautiful provider?!

My boy Jonathan arrived for the reward challenge where three people at a time from each tribe would face off on a platform at sea, working to push the others off until only their tribe remains. It was for the chance to shop at the Survivor store, getting the choice of a range of critical items to make their camp life a little bit easier. In the first round Lydia, Abbey and Sharn were shockingly destroyed by Daisy, Moana and Brooke, thanks to Daisy crushing Lydia in an iconic scene. Zach, Lee and Nick were net to wrestle Locky, Mat and David, and honestly I didn’t care who won, only that they were all writhing around with each other. After Locky pulled Mat into the water, the round was halted as Zach heard his knee pop leaving Nick to battle against Mat and David all by himself. Which was adorable, particularly when David refused to battle to give Nick a fair shot.

I mean, fucking swoon.

Queens Shonee and Michelle eventually climbed onto the platform with Abbey to battle against Jacqui, Phoebe and Flick. With Flick and Jacqui quickly taking out our Queens, Abbey and Phoebe battled for over 20 minutes, with Abbey twerking in Phoebe’s face like she was angling for a rimjob until Phoebe freed herself from her clutches. After pacing around each other, Abbey lunged at Phoebe’s jugular leading to yet another epic battle before Abbey eventually scored a point for Mokuta. The boys made a return to the fray with John, Henry and Lee facing off against Locky, David and Mat – again – leading to another stunning sight of shirtless men wrestling, with Henry showing some crack and John trying to dack his opponents before going into the drink with Mat. Locked in a hug, Henry and David decided to chat about their positions in the tribe. Much to Moana’s – who I keep forgetting is in the cast – chagrin. Ultimately David pushed Henry in, leaving Lee to fight for his tribe’s survival, ripping Locky’s shorts off to stay alive. Unaware that Locky has zero qualms about getting nude in a challenge.

After securing victory, Jonathan surprised Vakama with the twist that only two of them will be going to select their reward from the shop. With the tribe selecting Phoebe – who had never, ever won a reward – and Locky, who took off his shorts to score the win.

With the duo off shopping, the rest of Vakama returned to camp and quickly congratulated Daisy for embarrassing Lydia and Abbey in a physical challenge. Focusing on the wrong things, Jericho asked what the shop would look like before suggesting that since they were split up, they likely will be getting a dilemma. And oh my goodness, have I been too hard on Jericho because that is the perfect thing to point out after seeing the only other winner of the cast just became the first boot.

Meanwhile over at the shop Phoebe was just excited to actually win a reward before they discovered they were able to snatch five rewards, either for themselves or the entire tribe. With that, they selected the chance to invite 2 people to a reward that their tribe loses – for themselves), a flint for the tribe, a bowl of cookies … which they cracked before leaving the store like a tantruming toddler, and then a boring old tarp and some potatoes. Trust solidified, the sneaky duo returned to camp with Phoebe wisley choosing to stay quiet and let Locky tell the story. Well until Daisy, AK and Jericho started to see holes in their story, crunching the numbers and making them nervous. Which led to Locky and Phoebe relenting and telling their allies that they also received cookies, which they stashed to share with the rest of the Heathers.

Before we could find out whether they would be sprung with the cookies, my love Jonathan returned for the immunity challenge where each tribe was required to run under an obstacle, up a tower and release six barrels which they would race like Sierra-Dawn Thomas Anglim before standing them on discs and tossing sacks on each of them. Once they stand them up. As prophesied by Queen Michelle, Mokuta took an early lead, motivated by their loss at the reward challenge. Mokuta continued to slowly pull away, until Vakama’s final barrel got stock in their chute. Allowing Mokuta to push further ahead, with Queens Michelle and Shonee riding a barrel like it was their throne. Vakama slowly started to close the gap until Moana slipped off her barrel, meaning Mokuta could start the sack tossing before the others had even finished the course. Despite flailing in the previous throwing challenge Lee redeemed himself, scoring the first two points, with Henry scoring another before Vakama finally joined the fray. While Mat and AK desperately tried to close the gap, the lead proved too much to overcome, with Lee and Henry scoring immunity by the skin of their teeth.

And proving Queen Michelle to be a trusted psychic.

Back at camp the tribe quickly smashed a meal before everyone started to scramble, with the Heathers excusing themselves to scramble while the olds were left back at camp to find a way to save themselves. Jericho suggested they eat all the food while they were away, which takes away from his earlier wisdom. Meanwhile over with the young’uns, they were locking in the vote against Moana who was terrible at the camp with the bonus being that it would break up her close alliance with Mat. David however wasn’t sold on the idea, feeling it was way too obvious for them and as such, suggested they too get rid of their tribe’s previous winner. The group quickly locked in the vote and split up, before Phoebe shared that she didn’t want to vote for Jericho but also didn’t want to rock the vote earlier.

Speaking of Jericho, he was rallying the minority group, suggesting that they join together to vote out Daisy. With that done and dusted, Mat and Jericho bid adieu to Jacqui, Moana and Tarzan and got to work trying to woo AK and Phoebe over to their side instead. And while Phoebe was sold on their pitch, knowing she and Daisy have no plans to work together long term, like Nick last night, she didn’t want to put her neck on the line.

At tribal council Phoebe was nervous to be back at tribal council after her losing ways on Aganoa. David felt like no time had past since his last stint at tribal council before Flick put her foot in it, saying that she is voting for who is best for ‘us’. Jericho quickly questioned who the ‘us’ are before Moana straight up pointed out the 7-5 split amongst the tribe. Phoebe tried to downplay alliances before Mat played up his loyalty, reiterating that you need strong allies to make it to the end. AK shared that he was just keeping an ear out to the answers at tribal council before making his decision, making everyone in his alliance nervous and poor Phoebe look like she wanted to throw up. Phoebe changed tact and reminded everyone that she came from the worst tribe on her season and as such, she was really focused on staying strong to avoid losing again.

Jericho played the emotional card, trying to squeeze out some tears and sharing how much he loves everyone and how sad it will be to see someone go. Surprisingly the tears made Phoebe start to feel guilty, and as such, question if she was making the right decision. With that, Moana saw hope – get it? – and told Jonathan that the tribe would be going to vote before the opportunity passed themselves by. With that, Jonathan heeded her advice and the tribe voted, with the Heathers winning the battle and sending the only remaining victor from the game.

While I wasn’t his biggest fan in his first season – I mean, he was competing for my affections with Locky so never stood a chance – I truly felt sorry for him as he wandered into Loser Lodge. I mean, as soon as he saw Shane had gotten the boot you could see that he knew he would be following her straight out the door. As such, I pulled him in close, apologised for being harsh, threw out a confusing metaphor and then whipped out a big ol’ plate of Jericho Maloo Bonda.

 

 

Essentially the Indian equivalent of his first season’s victory meal, bondas are gloriously crisp balls of fluffy, spicy potato. Do you even need me to say anything else to convince you? Get thee to a kitchen, stat!

Enjoy!

 

 

Jericho Maloo Bonda
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
6 potatoes, peeled, boiled and mashed
olive oil, to taste
2 onions, diced
2 green chillies, diced
2 tsp ginger
1 tsp chilli flakes
2 lemons, zested and juiced
2 cups rice flour
salt and pepper, to tase

Method
Preheat oven to 180C.

Heat a good lug of olive oil in a large saucepan and sweat the onions for five minutes, or until semi-translucent. Add the ginger, chilli and chilli flakes and cook for a further minute. Remove from heat and stir through the lemon zest and juice.

Place the pre-mashed potato into a large bowl and add the zesty onion mix and rice flour. Season and stir with the wooden spoon until it is well combined.

Form into balls, somewhere between the size of golf balls and tennis balls, and transfer to a lined baking sheet until all the mixture is done.

Drizzle with oil and transfer to the oven to bake for 20 minutes, or until golden and crisp.

Devour with some raita, in a state of mixed-metaphor bliss.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Baga Chipz

RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK 1, Side, Snack, Street Food, Tapas, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race UK the queens were tasked with making over their mums and sisters, with Cheryl read for being basic, Baga reading her mum for being old and blind. Divina and her sister meanwhile turned it out – power of three – taking out the win, while Baga and Cheryl fought valiantly, with the latter finally bottoming out of the competition.

The final three returned to the Werk Room positively over the moon to make it to the end thought admitted to missing Cheryl. With Baga opting to toast to Cheryl by imitating her accent. The Vivienne praised her for being so charming and kind and was glad to get to know her better. Baga was thrilled to make it to the end with the others, admitting that lip syncing has put a fire under her. Which Divina jumped on, mocking them for bottoming when she has never had to lip sync for her life. The trio praised the performances of their families, with Baga issuing a statement to apologise to her mother and forgive her.

Oh and all three of them are rightly confident in themselves taking out victory.

The next day the trio returned to the Werk Room, still buzzing to have made it to the end. After admiring their matching collection of badges, Baga threw some shade at Divina before Ru arrived to announce that the final three would be put to the test writing verses on the ru-mix of his hit single Rocket To The Moon and performing it live on the mainstage in front of the judges in full Strictly Come Dancing cos-play. Oh and then appearing on a podcast and lip syncing for the crown. You know, something lowkey and casual.

The trio split up to write their lyrics, with Baga inspired by Gaga to be a little bit serious and have a message. Oh and she is nervous about the choreography. The Vivienne admitted that she is terribly nervous, given this is pretty much the girl group challenge which was her only weakness.

Baga was first to join Ru and Michelle on the podcast, admitting she was just hoping to make it to the third week. Things quickly got serious when Baga explained why she has a difficult relationship with her mum, having grown up with her nan and not really having the same connections others would. She spoke about hiding behind comedy and thanked Ru for giving her the polish she needed to go out and take over the damn world. With Ru and Michelle sharing how much they love her.

Divina was next, positively jubilant, sharing that she visualised getting this far. Ru praised that she made it this far because she works hard and is talented before Divina admitted she struggled with her need to be perfect and how the show helped her get over that. She spoke about letting The Vivienne get into her head but explained that they moved passed it and she knows that she shouldn’t have been distracted by Viv not noticing her growth. Divina spoke about working hard for her mum, husband and ultimately, audience and damn I love her. Particularly since her one question was to ask for the crown.

Rounding out the chats was The Vivienne, with her giving Ru some dialect training before talk turned to her journey with sobriety and how falling into her K-hole made her life harder. Then she travelled overseas for work and didn’t touch anything and started to find herself, ultimately finding herself and snagging herself a fiance. The Vivienne praised Ru and Michelle for embracing the UK style of drag and doing them justice before praising her sisters for being sickening performers.

The group ventured off to learn the choreography with Curtis and AJ Pritchard with Divina serving Katya flex, doing the splits and showing her skills while the others were terrified. As Baga struggled through the choreography, The Vivienne vowed to never do Dancing with the Stars … until their dance partners arrived and all our basements flooded in unison. Baga was tasked with a tango dance break and she was shitting herself like she was Scaredy Kat. Divina was given the cha cha and well, she completely slayed the choreography, complete with partnered cartwheel. The Vivienne meanwhile got the samba and worked her arse off to get the steps down and redeem her performance in the girl group challenge.

Coronation Day finally arrived with the girls excited to get ready for their final performance. Talk turned to the worst outfit of the season, with everyone crowning Vinegar’s paper look as the absolute worst. Divina was proud of everything she has achieved in the competition, while Baga admitted that she is shocked by how hard it was but thrilled that she got to show a different side of herself. Meanwhile The Vivienne knew she would do well, but still felt like top three is a dream. The trio admitted that they’re thrilled to be standing at the end together and most importantly, couldn’t tell who the biggest competition is.

On the mainstage the trio positively killed their performance with Baga working through her nerves and hitting every move, serving comedy and nailing her verse. Divina served acrobatic moves and proved why she is adam star as she was splitting over the stage while hitting every damn note. And well The Vivienne, did she make-up for the girl group challenge. Rocking out every step and running every note with ease.

On the Final Three Eleganza Extravaganza runway Baga served Rose Nyland realness, despite going for a Marilyn inspired mint number as she soaked up her final turn on the runway. Divina served Union Jack realness with gloriously warm make-up, which you know is going to thrill Michelle. Finally The Vivienne arrived in a glorious champagne coloured sequined realness and well, this look truly sends the message that she is here to take out the win.

The judges praised Baga’s performance throughout the season and loved her ability to inject comedy into everything she does. Oh and apparently she missed some steps, but I didn’t notice. Maybe because I’m not a dancer? The judges loved everything Divina did in the challenge and praised her for exceeding their already high expectations. But Michelle didn’t praise the make-up, which shocked me. By the time it came to The Vivienne, the judges continued their glowing praise telling Viv that she proved without a doubt that she is a complete star. Dancing be damned.

Ru then grabbed the baby pics and got the girls to give their younger selves some advice with Baga reminding herself to work through the pain and know that life gets better and you’re going to be a damn star. And it is important to show your emotions and to maybe cut down on the ciggies and booze. Divina told herself to remember to not take on anyone else’s problems and to try and relax and enjoy the moments. While The Vivienne spoke about how great her family is and while you may make the wrong decisions throughout your life, focus on what you want to do and work hard to get there.

And rounding out the panel, Baga was asked why she deserves to win over the other two with her avoiding the questioning by praising her sisters and admitting to just be thrilled to make it this far. Divina meanwhile spoke about her wealth of talent and how she hasn’t really faltered throughout the show. And The Vivienne spoke about how strong of a queen she is and more importantly, she is personable and able to be a strong ambassador for the show and make others feel good about themselves.

Backstage the girls were gagged to see the eliminated queens who quickly praised them for making it to the end, before Sum Ting announced they would be deciding the top two. Which was a lie, but let’s focus on how cute they all are? The queens praised Vinegar for not being hodge podge, Baga spoke about missing Cheryl, with Chez admitting that she is proud of them and knew they deserved to make the end over her. The Vivienne asked whether everyone felt they deserved their eliminations, with Gothy sad she didn’t get to show off more while Scaredy was still ok with the performance given it was her first gig. Crystal admitted to being jealous she wasn’t still competing before Blu brought some shade, telling Baga she should have gone given she wasn’t prepared to lip sync. Before getting genuine and telling them that they inspire her and she is so proud of them and Crystal echoed the sentiment, telling them that if they have any doubts about their star power they need to get over it because they’re amazing.

When the trio returned to the mainstage, Ru gagged them all by announcing that only two of them would be lip syncing for the crown with Baga sadly being eliminated in third place. While poor Baga had to suffer the indignity of being pushed to stage right (or left, I don’t know which side is which, thanks GPS) despite a killer run in the competition, she was proud to have made it to third place. And thrilled to see me sneak up behind her side of stage and pull her aside to catch-up while The Viv and Divina battled it out. We laughed, we cried and we had a very very good time reconnecting and toasting to her killer run on the show. While smashing a big ol’ Baga Chipz.

I know, I know – it is far easier to buy your own chips but when they taste this good, you soon find they are worth the effort. Fun fact, these chips are so damn crunchy that Ru had to stop the music and yell at us to stop eating like they were masks to our Valentinas.

Enjoy!

Baga Chipz
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
5 potatoes, washed and dried
1 tbsp kosher salt flakes, plus extra for seasoning
vegetable oil, for fryin’

Method
Using a mandolin, slice the potatoes wafer thin – about 2-3mm – and place in a bowl of iced water. Once they’re all done, drain and rinse and return to the bowl with fresh water and the salt. Leave them to soak for an hour or so. Drain, rinse and drain again.

When you’re ready to go, get oil heating in a large saucepan until it comes to 180C. In batches, fry the slices until they’re golden before draining on paper towels. Repeat until all the potato is done.

Season with salt and devour, in a baga or not, I don’t mind.


As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Couscous Crystalad

RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK 1, Salad, Side, Snack, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race UK the queens participated in the inaugural UK Snatch Game, with politics taking the focus as The Vivienne and Baga Chips stole the show as Donald Trump and Maggie Thatch. While Sum Ting and Crystal bombed as icons David Attenborough and my dear Rue McClanahan before the former was sent from the competition. Much to the pain of one Ms. Geri bloody Halliwell.

Back in the Werk Room Cheryl was sad to lose her friend, though felt that Sum Ting’s time had well and truly come. Crystal meanwhile was heartbroken that she had to beat sweet Sum Ting to stay, though was glad to be able to prove herself in a lip sync. The queens started to untuck and congratulated Baga and Viv on their win, despite Cheryl and Blu questioning whether it was worthy of a double victory. Though sadly neither were willing to say who they thought should have had it by themselves. Crystal brought it back to Divina and asked her who she felt talks over her all the time, with Divina telling Baga and The Vivienne that they keep talking over everyone and she feels like they are trying to throw everyone off their game.

The next day Cheryl was excited for another week of mediocrity, while Baga and The Vivienne tweaked their double badge nipples. Talk turned to Cheryl’s passion for bottoming, before Ru arrived to open the library and task the girls to read each other for filth. Baga kicked things off by accusing Cheryl of using the Eiffel Tower as a dildo and Blu being the prostitute love child of Casper and The Milky Bar Kid. Divina got revenge on Baga and The Vivienne for being trash, Cheryl called Divina a horse, The Vivienne called Crystal vapid, Crystal slayed with poo jokes – The Vivienne proving you can polish a turd – and sweet Blu called out Cheryl’s overbite and backrolls like her hero Alyssa Edwards, and still slayed, despite breaking a prop covering Baga’s face. Ultimately though, it was Crystal’s scat play that took out victory.

Before Ru departed, he announced that this week’s Maxi Challenge would see the girls split into two girl groups to record their debut and farewell track Break Up (Bye Bye) under the tutelage of MNEK. As she won the Mini Challenge, Crystal was given the chance to select her team, snatching The Vivienne and girl group superfan Cheryl. The teams split up and Cheryl was thrilled to be forming a girl group, while The Vivienne was looking forward to working with Cheryl and getting to know her better. Cheryl meanwhile was super confident, given her major moneymaker was in a Girl’s Aloud covershow. Over at the other side Baga was nervous about working without The Vivenne, though looked forward to throwing herself in with her fellow Frock Destroyers. And they vowed to destroy their competition, Filth Harmony.

Each team started to write their songs, with The Vivienne nervous as she is the only one that can sing on her team. While the Frock Destroyers gossiped about their rivals and how badly Crystal will be overshadowed on her team.

Filth Harmony arrived to record their song, with MNEK proud of how well The Vivienne sang though were very concerned about her lack of spelling ability. Cheryl was totally in her element as the personification of the ba-ba-ba-baaaooooouu noise, which is beloved by Pitbull. Cheryl then did some ad libs for inclusion throughout the song and honestly, she alone should make the other team nervous. Well, until I heard Crystal’s singing, which got some awkward silence from MNEK. Cheryl though was living, calling herself the Beyonce of the team. Which is honestly true.

The Frock Destroyers owned their recording from the moment they arrived dressed in matching turbans. Baga then showed off some impressive pipes, Blu surprised herself with how strongly she sang and then impressed me with her smut. And Divina, well, she fucking can do whistle tones and holy shit, give her the damn badge right now. Sorry Filth Harmony, you’re fucked.

Speaking of Filth Harmony, Cheryl was hard at work on the choreography and had no interest in taking any feedback. And honestly, I am team Cheryl on this one, as she is carrying them this challenge. When it came to the Frock Destroyers, Divina was less of a choreog-tator and made sure everyone was comfortable with their moves and could nail everything. Back in the Werk Room both teams tried to get in the other’s head, though the Frock Destroyers confidence seemed far less misplaced than the other team.

Elimination Day rolled around and Cheryl was still thrilled by the challenge before Crystal brought the mood down and asked how school was for everyone. Blu and Crystal said that it sucked, despite not being outright bullied. Divina spoke about all her insecurities coming from her formative school years. She then taught us about Maggie Thatcher’s abhorrent law which made it illegal to ‘promote homosexuality’, meaning teachers couldn’t step in and as such, erased the queer community. To warm our heart though, she broke down telling a story of how her own students cussed out a girl in his class that called her a faggot, knowing it meant life was better for future queer kids. She then reiterated that idiot’s beliefs are just that, but their lives are reality and they are all worth it.

And just crown Divina now, because I love her.

Ru, Michelle and Graham were joined by Little Mix’s Jade Thirwall, as Filth Harmony made their farewell debut and while The Vivienne started out strong, she faded fast. On the flipside Cheryl was living her best life, nailing every syllable and keeping the judges in hysterics. And while Crystal was good, it was clear that Cheryl owned this performance. Then Frock Destroyers happened, coming out in matching outfits to the opening bars of Divina’s whistle tones. And they owned the week. Baga quoted herself to the delight of Michelle, Blu gave her best performance yet and Divina, as previously mentioned, is a global treasure and has more talent in her pinky toenail than we could ever dream of having.

On the Day at the Races runway The Vivenne slayed as Alexis Carrington and Pretty Woman’s love child, Cheryl stuck with her Essex roots and I loved it, while Crystal was the best of the group in a skin tight floral outfit from toe to gimp mask. Baga was quintessential Baga with a ball of flowers for hair, Blu was stunning with a horse head for hair and Divina stole the show as the sexiest jockey with a horsetail pony.

The judges felt The Vivienne stumbled for the first time, with that cracking her armour and allowing her to show some heart. Cheryl broke down before the judges even told her how much they loved her in the challenge, explaining that this is the first time she has felt like herself in the competition and was thrilled to do well. Despite Michelle hating her outfit. Crystal received universal praise for her runway despite it not nailing the brief, though they all felt she faded away in the performance. Once again Baga received universal praise, though was happy to share it around and lift up her teammates and let Blu take full responsibility for the killer band name and attitude. Baga broke down because of how great the praise was, feeling like she isn’t the front runner. Blu too received universal praise and the judges were thrilled to see her finally arrive at the competition. And then Divina got the most glowing praise of all, with the judges loving everything about her. Though Michelle was concerned about her ashy make-up.

Backstage The Vivienne and Crystal looked like they’ve come back from war, with Vivienne breaking down and showing her human side finally. Blu tried to remind her about everything she has achieved in the competition, while Cheryl assumed they would put her in the bottom just because of her runway. She then asked Crystal how she was feeling … and then spoke about her passion for girl groups and again, I love Cheryl. And her inability to read a room. Divina steered things back to Crystal and gave her the chance to work through her feelings, while The Vivienne brokedown, gave them a farewell message and pulled everyone in for a friends forever hug.

The girls returned to the mainstage where for the first time in Drag Race herstory, the Frock Destroyers were given a three-way victory. Which honestly just feels right. Cheryl was congratulated for owning her performance and was sent to safety, leaving The Vivienne and Crystal to battle it out lip syncing to Power by Little Mix. Despite fading away during their earlier performance, there was nothing holding The Vivienne back, hitting every letter and owning the entire stage. And that is no shade to Crystal, who also slayed the lip sync. But there was no way that The Vivienne was willing to go home and that passion and fire showed. As such poor Crystal was eliminated and The Vivienne lived to fight another day. And I pity anyone that has to lip sync against her in the future.

Crystal being Crystal she was bummed to leave the competition but took it all in her stride, simply grateful to be given the opportunity to show off her talents. As you probably could have guessed from my thirst, I first met Crystal while stalking her. I saw her in the street one day and was overwhelmed by her beauty, immediately enrolling in the same course at University and trying to endear myself to her. While it failed, we did become the best of friends and as such, I knew that the only way to cheer her up would be with a Cous Cous Crystalad.

I know you don’t make friends with salad, we all know that, but somehow this one manages to defy the odds. Fluffy cous cous, sweet sundried tomato and creamy feta join together to wipe away the post boot pain.

Enjoy!

Couscous Crystalad
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 ¼ cups vegetable stock
1 ¼ cups couscous
2 garlic cloves, minced
400g can chickpeas, rinsed and drained
½ cup flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped
1 red onion, diced
½ cup sundried tomatoes, cut into strips
½ cup baby spinach, roughly chopped
1 cup broccoli florets
2 lemons, zested and juiced
2 tbsp olive oil
½ cup feta, crumbled
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Bring the vegetable stock to the boil and pour into a bowl with the couscous. Stir and cover with cling wrap and leave to cook for five minutes.

Fluff couscous with a fork and leave to cool.

Add everything else to the bowl, stir to combine and devour.


As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Abbean Holmes Soup

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Champions vs. Contenders (2019), Main, Side, Snack, Soup, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Luke and Abbey were playing the middle of the two duos, with the former unaware that everyone – but Abbey – was plotting his demise. When he took out immunity and saved himself, Harry pivoted and put the target back on to his nemesis JaQueen. This put Luke and Abbey back in the middle and try as JaQueen and Pia might, they were unable to swing them back to their side, and JaQueen was tragically beheaded. Not literally, but it felt hard to watch. As Janine is a bloody icon.

Back at camp Pia was disheartened to have lost Janine though explained to the tribe that as an award winning actress, she could tell that it was coming since they’re shit actors. Abbey was proud to make it to the final five, and have the chance to show the jury that she can pull off a big blindside in getting rid of Janine. And since she has grown to enjoy a cheeky blindside, looked forward to rolling Pia next. Which can’t happen as my heart just couldn’t take it.

The next day Harry was thrilled to have Janine’s scalp in his collection like a munted Hannibal Lector. The rest of the tribe lazed about – Abbey not keen on having another bean, don’t tell John – while Harry decided that Luke is the last person left that could beat him in the final two, and as such, needs to go. He pulled Abbey and Baden aside to lock in the vote against Luke, and then quickly lined up the back-up target of Pia should he win another immunity. Given they can all see that she was the mastermind behind the boss lady. Speaking of Pia she wasn’t feeling it after losing her island bestie, though focused on her family who she was fighting for. She then put a smile on her dial, pretended to be happy and got to work winning people back without them noticing that she is coming for revenge.

She knew that Luke was her best shot, so huddled with him in the shelter and assured him that she has no desire to vote him out and as such, is his best bloody shot at staying in the game. He assured Pia that she has nothing to worry about as he knows he will be booted the moment he doesn’t have immunity or an idol. As such he went searching for another idol and after days of meandering the jungle, finally spotted a clue hidden in the tree. It led him to the other end of the beach where another clue was hidden within a coconut. This in turn led him back to camp to grab a machete before heading back to the coconut where he learnt that he didn’t find an idol and instead, won the power to send someone out of tribal council before the vote which makes them safe and robs them of the right to vote. At the final five. Which is fucking huge.

My dear Jonathan and his guns of steel returned for the latest immunity challenge where everyone would stack dominos along a beam tethered to a trip obstacle, with the first person to stack their dominos and have them clang – is clang the right word? – into a gong snatching immunity. Harry and Abbey got out to an early lead, while Luke trailed closely behind. Luke dropped three blocks, followed by Harry dumping a bunch handing Abbey the lead, with Baden close behind. Everyone kinda caught up, while Abbey, Baden and Pia tried to respace their blocks to give them a shot at victory. Baden then knocked all of his off the beam, allowing Abbey the chance to snatch victory however she didn’t space hers enough bringing it down to a fight between Luke and Pia, with Luke actually snatching a record equalling individual immunity.

Back at camp Harry was super grumpy about Luke’s winning streak, knowing full well that he and his fake son don’t stand a chance against him in the final two. He and Abbey went for a walk to lock in the plan B to take out Pia, with Harry sure that there is no way she will win anything and as such, will not help them get rid of Luke. Baden joined the duo and they all locked in the plan, worried about getting caught and then straight up giving each other pinky promises under the watchful eye of Pia and Luke. Pia laughed about them clearly planning to vote her out, though vowed not to go down without a fight. Unaware that she was charming the shit out of her biggest hope.

Abbey caught up with Luke, completely unaware that he knows she is gunning for him and Pia. He assured Baden, Harry and Abbey that he was with them until the end, though he was hopeful that he would be able to swing something to save Pia. He approached her and promised that no matter how it looks at tribal council, to trust him and she will be safe. He told us that his plan is to send Baden back to camp and force Harry into turning on Abbey with him and Pia. Knowing they needed to lull her into a false sense of security, Pia and Luke approached Abbey to float getting rid of Harry. Pia said she would be putting her acting skills to use at tribal, Abbey was unaware of the plot against her and Luke was honestly so far down a rabbithole that he worried that he would end up blindsiding himself.

Again, like a fucking icon.

At tribal council Luke interrupted Jonathan’s praise of his immunity streak by standing up, handing over the note and immediately sending Baden straight back to camp. He exited in utter confusion, thrilled to make it to the final four but shocked about what will go down in his absence. Abbey and Harry were shocked about the turn of events, while Pia pretended to be disappointed that he didn’t choose to save her. Luke then started whispering to Pia, which made Harry and Abbey nervous, though Harry admitted that it is unlikely that Luke would leave his plan to the very last minute and as such, it was all for show. Jonathan tried to rub salt in their wounds about being left out, leading to Luke whispering to Abbey while Pia whispered that Harry was awesome.

Sensing his imminent doom, Harry started to burn everything down and told them all that Luke is in control and unbeatable. He then mentioned that there is one way that they can save themselves, unaware that he is only burning himself given Luke isn’t going to flip on Pia to keep a fellow immunity threat around. Pia reminded everyone that staying focused on Luke is forcing others to make stupid decisions, while Luke said that only one person needs to worry this tribal council and it is about time they take the garbage out. Pia admitted that she is kind of shocked to potentially making it through the tribal and Harry tried to remind everyone that he is not the biggest threat left in the game.

With that the tribe voted and Luke and Pia’s hail Mary plan worked perfectly, with Abbey voting Harry, Harry voting Pia and Pia and Luke banding together to blindside Abbey from the game. And impressing the hell out of the jury with their flashy move. While she was overshadowed by her former closest allies Pia and Janine’s dominant games, she formed one third of Australian Survivor’s answer to the Black Widow Brigade and that is something that makes me immensely proud. Particularly after she blindsided her childhood hero and one of the aforementioned closest allies slash queens. In any event, she did me proud and surprisingly I told her that, took her in my arms and gave her a clearly island appropriate bowl of Abbean Holmes Soup. Despite the fact she wished to never eat another bean.

 

 

Essentially flavoured just like a can of refried beans, this isn’t going to be something that everyone loves. But if you love refried beans like Ab (used to) and I, roll right up. Earthy, spiced and pack with simple charm, this baby proves that sometimes plain(ish) can be your favourite flavour.

Enjoy!

 

 

Abbean Holmes Soup
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
olive oil
2 onions, diced
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 tomatoes, diced
2 chipotles in adobo
800g canned pinto beans, rinsed and drained
1L chicken stock
1 tbsp thyme leaves
a small handful coriander leaves, roughly chopped
salt and pepper, to taste
100g queso fresco, crumbled

Method
Heat a good lug of olive oil in a dutch oven and place over medium heat. Add the onions and sweat for five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the garlic, tomatoes and chipotles, and cook for another couple of minutes. Add the pinto beans and cook off any excess liquid from the rinsing before adding the chicken stock. Bring to the boil, reduce to low and simmer for half an hour, stirring infrequently.

Once the liquid has reduced to be just under the solids, add the herbs and cook for a further five minutes. Remove from heat, season and blitz until smooth.

Return to the heat and cook for another five minutes, adding some extra stock if it is too thick. Serve, top with queso and devour through the tears of your life.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Mattella Farrownies awaiting a crestfallen Matt Farrelly after he became the eleventh boot of Australian Survivor.

Mattella Farrownies

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Champions vs. Contenders (2019), Baking, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor David and Luke were left alone on the new Champions tribe and while they navigated some early tribals, Shaun was stolen to their tribe and reunited the Contenders. This meant the boys had to both play their idols at the next tribal council and while thankfully David found another one, that doesn’t guarantee both of their safety for very long. Meanwhile the new Contenders tribe was dominated by Champions with Harry pitting himself against JaQueen, which is a more rookie mistake than anything Andy comes up with. This lead to the Champs throwing the immunity challenge to flush his idol out and knock him down a peg, which meant poor Casey sadly became collateral damage.

We checked in with Champions that night with John talking non-stop about the erotic nature of a mexican parmigiana, filling Daisy and Shaun with joy and my basement. Well, let’s just say it was well and truly flooded.

The next morning Harry was casing the Contenders beach in the hopes of finding himself a second idol, while Ross and Abbey watched the sunrise. JaQueen checked in with Harry to see if he ever slept, not so subtly letting him know that everyone can see through his searching. The tribe then sat around to have breakfast while Harry commenced his hunt once again, with Ross thankfully deciding it was critical to follow him to ensure that he doesn’t find it. Ross returned to the Holy Trinity of Pia, Abbey and JaQueen to share that he sadly lost Harry, while Simon walked right past the idol clue completely unaware. As Harry continued to search without a care in the world, he finally spotted the clue and mother fucker, it directed him to it being hidden high up in the shelter. Matt stumbled upon the scene and Harry asked that he help him get the tribe out of camp so that he can snatch the idol and try and use it to save themselves.

Back at the Champions tribe David was tucking his idol in like the total zaddy that he is, thankful that he has had a tumultuous run, as it will mean a great story should he make it to final tribal. While he and Luke hung out at camp, they watched the rest of the tribe shamelessly hunting for the idol in the shore, laughing at the futility of their search. While he was confident with his idol, David knew he had to smooth things over with Shaun so pulled him aside to float the idea of working together after the merge due to the fact they will quickly become the targets. Shaun shared this intel with Andy and John, before vowing to us to slit Dave’s throat when he least expects it. Which sounds super aggressive when you write it, so let’s go with take him out. Oh and Harry snatched the idol back at the Contenders beach. Womp womp.

Jonathan, his guns and the Tower of Terror returned for the latest reward challenge where the tribes would be blindfolded at the top of the tower, walk a plank, snatch a ring, dive into the ocean and chuck their ring on a peg. First tribe to three snatching victory in the form of a pub visit, complete with a parma and pint. Luke and Harry went first with Luke making quick work of the beam, diving in and landing his ring just as Harry belly flopped Monika style. Janine and Baden were next to face off with JaQueen tragically missing her shot, giving Baden another chance to score a point for his tribe. Abbey started to break down atop the tower while Andy and Ross faced off, with Andy axing himself as he belly flopped and King Ross slightly closing the gap. Pia and John went next with the Looking for Alibrandi icon struggling without the ability to see as John secured victory for the tribe, and more importantly, parma for himself. As is oft the case, Jonathan then gave the victors the chance to steal someone to share the spoils with them tragically giving Harry a feed to go with his second idol.

Back at camp the Contenders were feeling miserable, with Matt realising that he is the Michael Jordan in this twisted version of Space Jam. And just like that, I love him again. The OG Champs sat around eating some beans while poor Matt loitered around waiting for his one, albeit shitty friend to return. Meanwhile over at the reward site, the Champs were giddy to find a couple of freshly tapped kegs and a table full of parmas. This made Zaddy John the happiest he has ever been, though sadly not happy enough to strip off for a celebratory nudie run. While I sulked on my coach, Harry filled everyone in on what went down at the previous tribal council and pointed out that the Champions are impenetrable. Which made Luke and David super awkward. Harry continued to charm his former friends, suggesting they all start calling JaQueen the godmother to piss her off. Harry and Shaun then caught up by the shore with Daisy and a loitering Andy, with Harry keeping the intel about his idol quiet to get them thinking about throwing a challenge to secure the numbers ahead of the merge.

Speaking of thrown challenges, Jonathan returned for next immunity challenge with Andy super smug about taking control for his fellow Contenders. The challenge involved the tribe sliding from a tower to collect numbers, then using said numbers to release a hammer which they use to smash four targets to release bags of puzzle pieces … which the remaining pair use to solve said puzzle and snatch immunity. Matt got the Contenders out to an early lead snatching two while Daisy barely snatched one. Simon too grabbed two leaving the rest to just enjoy the slide while the Champs tried to close the gap. When it came to smashing the targets the Contenders only extended their lead, despite the valiant efforts of David and John. Pia and Harry commenced work on the puzzle with Baden and Andy trying to close the gap. Well Baden was at least, as Andy desperately tried to waste his time and throw the challenge with the subtlety of his arrogant confessional style. As Pia and Harry powered ahead, Baden tried to work against Andy’s obvious lack of interest. He then started throwing pieces on the ground and started to piss off his own allies too while Baden valiantly overcame the deficit and somehow managed to secure immunity singlehandedly for the tribe.

Back at camp the tribe were lamenting their losses, while JaQueen was pragmatic about it, grateful that at least the loss meant that they could get rid of the threat in the form of Harry. Particularly since he is targeting her. Sadly for her, she didn’t believe that Harry has an idol so planned to load all the votes on him and get rid of him. Meanwhile Harry and Matt caught up at the shelter with Harry letting him know about the idol, and after deciding that Janine has an idol, he decided to target Pia instead. He and Matt then decided that they need to try and get Simon and Ross on board to avoid burning their idol. Matt approached Simon, who admitted that before the tribe swap he was a sitting duck which lead to Matt pushing hard for him to make a move before he ends up in fifth place. Sadly for him though, he has made it obvious he is very anti Champion, so I don’t know that he is an enticing proposition.

Harry then worked on Ross, with the King wanting to know what the hell Harry offers any of them. While Ross did admit to wanting to shake things up, Harry wasn’t convinced so he started to fake cry by the shore about losing the shot at his dream. This obviously touched sweet Ross, who felt bad about screwing Harry’s idol find, or so he thought, and even offered to get voted out instead. Ross approached JaQueen and Abbey to let them know about Harry’s (fake) breakdown, with the girls feeling far less sympathetic than Ross. As it grew closer to tribal council Pia started to get nervous about the vote ahead, since she isn’t feeling nervous and I hope she knows that she should feel nervous. You follow?

At tribal council Matt and Harry each popped a stick in their mouths before the latter spoke about his love for Janine and wanting to play against her as one of the strongest players in the game. JaQueen deflected his compliment, before Pia admitted that they are frenemies and that she may not want to go up against him yet. Janine spoke about the different ways in which all the members of the alliance lead and shared that she is really gutted that they lost the immunity challenge. Matt piped up to talk about how frustrating it is to be back at tribal council given the former Champions have an easy path to the merge, while he and Harry are kinda screwed. JaQueen pointed out that Harry is a cockroach, which is a compliment, before the Champs agreed that if everything goes to plan, Harry will finally be exterminated. Matt then said that that still doesn’t make him feel very safe, which made the girls feel nervous.

Harry then interrupted proceedings to ask the boys to come aside and identify one of the girls to vote out and become an alliance of four with no one on the top. Matt jumped in to point out that he spoke to Simon and found out that he is definitely on the bottom of his alliance, while Ross appeared to almost be convinced given his love of Harry’s socks. With that that tribe voted as Ross kinda loudly whispered that Matt and Harry would be voting for Pia, while Harry was super cocky while playing his second idol which then lead to JaQueen pulling her idol out of her pocket. The votes rolled in with Harry negating three and the remaining piling up on Pia and Matt. The tribe then revoted and thankfully – because I am passionate about Pia – poor Matt found himself exiting the game.

While he is full of bravado, Matt is straight up one of the sweetest men I have ever met. Speaking of met, we’ve known each other for years crossing paths at a wrestling match. I was drawn to see someone going by the name of Wahlberg hoping for a bit of Boogie Nights action in some lycra and while it was far less sexy that I hoped, I found a true friend as we bonded over a love of history. Given how close we are, I knew there was one thing that would take him straight out of his post-boot funk – Mattella Farrownies.

 

Matt Farrelly hoping that a tray of Mattella Farrownies will dull the pain of becoming the eleventh boot of Australian Survivor.

 

This Nigella number is quite possibly the quickest, easiest sweet you could possibly make. Add to that, the fact that it is insanely delicious and you’d be mad not to whip it up if your friend is heartbroken to not make the jury. Even when you reassure them that you would still date them, despite the loser status.

Enjoy!

 

Mat Farrelly hoping that a tray of Mattella Farrownies will dull the pain of becoming the eleventh boot of Australian Survivor.

 

Mattella Farrownies
Serves: 1 sad wrestler and his friend that wants him to love him.

Ingredients
8 large eggs
kosher salt, to taste
500g Nutella
1 tbsp icing sugar, to dust

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C.

Crack the eggs into your stand mixer with and a good pinch of salt, and beat until stiff peaks form. About five minutes or so.

Meanwhile, decant the Nutella into a microwave dish and heat for a minute, or until it is lightly warmed and a bit more malleable. Still whisking the eggs, pour the nutella into the bowl in a slow, continuous stream until it is just combined.

Transfer the batter into a lined 30x30cm baking tin, and cook for 15-20 minutes, or until dry on the top but set-yet-tender in the middle.

Leave to cool completely in the tin before carving up, dusting with icing sugar and devouring. Preferably off the torso of a tall, bleach blonde man.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

A delicious Andrew Ettinghacai Bowl waiting for our sixth boot.

Andrew Ettinghacai Bowl

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Champions vs. Contenders (2019), Breakfast, Main, Snack, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor the poor Champions weren’t really living up to their name, nailing the reward challenges and bombing the immunity challenges. This sent them to three of the first four tribal councils, and while the athletes alliance took early control of the tribe, Queens Janine and Pia, along with David and Luke masterfully played to Abbey and Ross’ sensibilities and flipped them, taking control and sending Susie and Nova out of the game. Janine and Shaun found idols on their respective beaches however they sadly were only good for the other tribe. Janine shared the intel with David who asked to take her note, made a fake idol and traded it with Shaun’s real one, giving him and his two allies idols and poor, beautiful land mermaid Shaun with none. Once again the Champions lost immunity and despite David’s overconfidence grating on his tribe – allies and enemies alike – he managed to convince everyone to get rid of Steven.

We dropped in on the Contenders the next day where John was flooding my basement in a speedo, playing cricket – handling a bat and ball with imense skill – twerking (kinda) and being fucking hot. And that is before he got nude again and oh god, I can’t take it – I love him.

Back at the Champions tribe Ross too was being a total cutie, running around in the shore entertaining the tribe – I think trying to fish – showering by the well and receiving offers to sleep with Janine. Since she loves his smile, which is the oldest line in the book. He continued to make everyone laugh with his positive attitude, and that is before literally burning Steven’s spirit out of his jocks. Not as jovial are poor E.T. and someone called Simon we’re yet to hear from, fetching food and trying to prove their worth while seething about David’s control over the tribe given he is a babe. As attractive as he is, why am I still more turned on by John? Swoon.

But back to E.T. and Simon, they vowed not to give up and to get in with the other Champs to try and find a way out of their predicament. E.T. then went fishing with Ross and oh shit, I hope that isn’t all that he has planned. We then got a little break with superfan icon Queen Pia, who is so proud of everything that she has achieved in the game so far, despite missing her family. She also outlined her women’s alliance within her larger majority and oh damn, I didn’t think I could love her any more than I do now.

Over at the Contenders tribe Shaun was looking beautiful, even while getting his eyebrows plucked by a random girl who I think is Casey but has been too buried by the edit. Sadly poor beautiful Shaun was so proud of his perfect idol trade out and I worry that is going to come back and bite him. Because he and John need to get together.

Jonathan arrived for the first reward challenge of the week – where David’s nips were looking great – with the tribes playing tug-o-war, with the first tribe to three securing burgers. However not a Nova Peris Peri Chicken Burger, which is really a pivot. The first round saw David, Luke and Abbey face off against Shaun, Matt and Sarah, with the Champions taking the first point. Harry, Hannah and Sam were then defeated by Pia, Janine and E.T. before Shaun, Harry, Sarah and Sam got their first point on the board, crushing E.T. Janine, David and Janine. Harry, John, Matt and Shaun – who looked so damn good – evened things up with a hard fought battle against David, Ross, Simon and Luke. It came down to Shaun versus Ross and TBH, I am worried for poor Ross’ health and I hope he is ok. Wait, no, Shaun tripped and Ross won the reward and seeing him lifted over his tribe’s shoulders is honestly the most pure thing I’ve ever witnessed. To make things even more heartwarming, Jonathan allowed them to invite a Contender to join them selecting Baden … who was allowed to select a friend to go with him, rewarding Shaun for his killer effort. Oh and THEN they got beers too.

The Champions arrived at camp, giddy at the site of the burger supplies – and all the fixin’s – except for David who was worried that his lies were all about to come crashing down. Baden was completely adorable, cheering for the Champions and then trying to explain to Ross what he studies … and dare I say it, a new ship is born. Luke then quietly seethed about Shaun getting fed and potentially leading his tribe to victory at the next immunity challenge. Back at the Contenders the tribe were lamenting their loss and missing out on yet another reward, though were thankful that Baden rewarded Shaun for his efforts. Knowing that he will be an asset in the immunity challenge.

We returned to the Champions tribe where Shaun continued to unwittingly terrify David, with the latter deciding to double down on his lies by saying the idol is the only reason that he is still in the game and Steven is out. Poor Shaun truly believed his idol is real, and I am so concerned about his safety. Wait, no, maybe David should be nervous, given Abbey noticed him buddying up to Shaun and thought that maybe he should go sooner rather than later. With Queen Pia backing it up and ready to strike while his ego is at its biggest.

Seriously? Queens.

The tribes arrived to meet Jonathan on a beach where the Tower of Terror was making a return, meaning Casey is about to tap out of the challenge in three, two … wait, what? She is competing as one of the two members standing on a plank over the edge of the tower, with three people tasked with holding each of them up one-by-one with the last tribe to have someone perched atop the tower winning. Harry and Sarah kicked things off for the Contenders, keeping Casey and Baden on top of the tower while David and E.T. were busy keeping Pia and Simon up. Sarah was the first to trade out, giving her rope to Shaun while Harry soon followed, trading out to Daisy who soon gave it to Zaddy John, who tragically found boardshorts. Meanwhile at the top of the tower Casey was trying to get to know everyone, chatting away to Baden and Pia while once again, Simon’s voice was completely ignored.

David then swapped out with Abbey while poor Zaddy John struggled with his rope. Abbey passed off to Luke before Zaddy John couldn’t hold out any longer, dropping poor Baden into the drink. Who was super happy about it, despite the reminder that Kiwi Jeff has moved on to another show while Survivor NZ has been cancelled. Anyway E.T. finally handed his rope off to Janine, who quickly passed it out to Ross leaving the Champions on their last legs, while Shaun still had Matt to support him. Back at the top of the tower Casey was being iconic, asking Pia and Simon whether David actually played an idol at the previous tribal council, outing his lies and making things awks for the Champions. Shaun finally passed off to Matt before Ross dropped Simon in the water mid chat, leaving Matt and Luke to battle it out to keep Casey and Pia up top to gossip. Despite almost dropping, Luke dug deep and pulled Pia up before ultimately dropping handing the Contenders yet another immunity. Though Matt didn’t make himself any friends over at the Champions with his arrogant celebrations.

Back at camp the Champions were well and truly over losing yet another challenge, though did rally around to give each other a hug and congratulating them on trying so hard. Everyone started to feel bad for poor E.T. and Simon, except for David who thought it was hilarious. David then wandered around chatting to his allies, locking in their votes for E.T. and making jokes about him going home. Get it? E.T. going home.

Sadly for him E.T. wasn’t going to take his exit lying down, approaching Abbey to see whether she would be willing to switch back to him and Simon to get rid of anyone else. She then sat with Pia, upset to have to vote out one of the two delightful men that are on the outs before talking to David who tried to keep her calm and then pivoted to suggesting they get rid of Pia instead. This spooked the girls who spoke about turning on David, with Pia not wanting to take a strike at him unless she was guaranteed at him going home. And given how damn confident he is heading off to tribal, he really should be worried.

At the aforementioned tribal David and Abbey were lamenting how strong they were all feeling going into the challenge however still ended up here. E.T. spoke about being on the chopping block, leading to Jonathan pointing out that David said they’d be having a fresh start after booting Steven, making him feel like a liar. E.T. then gave his last pitch to the tribe, highlighting how bloody lovely he is and how he wants to have the chance to prove his leadership to the tribe by giving them the direction in the immunity challenges. David agreeing challenge contribution is important, how given they’ve been losing with E.T. here, it clearly isn’t making a difference and as such, he needs to focus on other things. Jonathan got shady, asking Ross and Abbey whether they’re going to be good foot soldiers and vote out either Simon and E.T. leading to Abbey breaking down about how much both men mean to her.

Simon then got his first monologue, pointing out that he is strong in challenges and would love the opportunity to be a foot soldier for the alliance. Janine then spoke about their alliance being stronger than the athletes because theirs wasn’t thrown together in a rush. Janine than admitted that she trusts people to different extents, while Ross agreed that there would definitely be smaller groups within their alliance while Jonathan finally for David to utter the phrase ‘do as you’re told’ as they headed off to vote. Where poor E.T. was given his marching orders, or escape, if you will.

As you may know, I am quite a big deal in the rugby league community – my dad played three, yes three, first grade games for the Roosters and I am the marketing genius who suggested bringing out Tina for a series of ads with Zaddy E.T. running around in a speedo. Given it was the ‘80s, I never acted on my feelings for E.T. but during the shoot he took my breath away and I did what every closeted kid did, befriended him and became his biggest supporter. While there was a period of a few years when I stopped talking to him as he started Escape – I hate seafood and fishing bores me – we reconnected and have been the best of friends ever since. E.T. was thrilled to see me working away in loser lodge, ran into my arms and gave me the biggest, warmest hug I can remember. He then noticed a purple stain on his shirt and honestly, the smile that appeared over his face was too pure for this world as he realised I had whipped him up a delicious Andrew Ettinghacai Bowl.

 

Andrew Ettinghausen demolishing his Australian Survivor sixth boot Andrew Ettinghacai Bowl

 

While I generally subscribe to the Ron Swanson, all the bacon and eggs breakfast school of thought, I will give E.T. a pass – footy pun, mate – and let him have an acai bowl. I mean, it is delicious after all, despite being healthy, and he is such a sweet, sweet man. Like an acai bowl.

Enjoy!

 

Andrew Ettinghausen demolishing his Australian Survivor sixth boot Andrew Ettinghacai Bowl

 

Andrew Ettinghacai Bowl
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
200g acai berry puree
2 bananas, frozen
½ cup Greek yoghurt
berries, bananas, coconut etc. to garnish

Method
Chuck the puree, bananas and yoghurt in a high powdered blender and blitz until completely smooth.

Pour into a bowl, top with whatever fruit/berries you desire and devour. Smugly, knowing you’re being super healthy.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.