Wholegrain Mustard

Mushroom Cream Gnoccott Butler

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, Pasta, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor the tribes were given the options between enjoying a feast together or returning to their camps with a clue with the easiest to find immunity idol known to man. Knowing things were dire with no easy target, Ri, Mark and Eden opted for idols at Rebels, as Ri pipped the boys at the post and jagged it. While Alex grabbed the Titans one after Feras spotted it and left it for a few hours until Alex could figure it out. But hey, he was better than Aileen. While at the feast, Kelli was busy spilling all Kirby’s secrets to Kitty. After Rebels stormed away with immunity, the Titans all decided Kelli was too chaotic and needed to go, finally forcing Feras and Kirby to put down their weapons. Kirby though decided to keep things just that little bit messy, trying to spook the boys into playing their idols at the same time. Sadly for her, both of them held firm as Kelli was shown the door. But did it ruin relationships? Who knows.

The next day things were very chill at the Titans camp as Kirby slowly woke up and spoke about how gagged she was that Kelli was blindsided. Pointing out that it is potentially the biggest of the season. Alex, obvi, was thrilled his nemesis was gone, while Kirby and Feras were just happy to be on the same page, knowing they need each other for the next phase of the game. She was also grateful to have Valeria and Mark onside, thinking her relationship with V is the key to not just moving forward but making the end. Alex and Valeria caught up, with Alex keeping his cards close, though admitted Mark is definitely on the outs of the OG Titans, which was all she needed to hear to take over this week’s iconic Shonee revenge arc.

The skies opened up as JLP and the tribes came together by the beach where they were gagged to learn that they would be merging. Meaning the Middle Aged Mafia is about the go, no? Eden was thrilled to have made the merge, not just due to now being dateable, but also to rocket up his game. Mark was excited to see what happens, while Valeria ominously mentioned that things are about to get murky and people best keep their wits about them, lest they be blindsided.

Instead of sending everyone back to camp, JLP put them through their paces in the first individual reward challenge where they would stand on a thin bar and hold an upturned bow and balance a ball. With the victor winning $60K, a bed for the night and the title of spectator at the next tribal council where they can watch and vibe, knowing they are safe. Powerless, but safe. Caroline was the first out of the challenge before everyone moved down to narrower sections of the beam after 10 minutes. That claimed a few more scalps as Ray, Winna and Kirby all dropped in quick succession. After 20 minutes, they moved on to the narrowest section which led to Mark falling on the transition before Feras, Kitty, Jaden and Alex soon followed. Aileen was next to go, followed by Eden, who made the odd choice to squat. After 35 minutes, Ri dropped out of nowhere, finally followed by Scott, handing Valeria victory. Which tragically meant she wouldn’t be able to personally get her revenge tonight.

The merged tribe made their way back to camp, delighting in how beautiful Valeria’s bed looked. Scott meanwhile was feeling a little odd and emotional, worried about how the next phase will play out. And given he named the merged tribe Tasi, I am hoping he will thrive. He started to get to know some of the newbies, particularly vibing with Kitty. Ri and Kirby caught up by the fire, with Kirby telling her she will catch up with Scott before telling her any plans. While Caroline and Kitty were desperately whispering to Jaden that they need to keep the Titans together. Feras meanwhile was making lots of friends, which made Caroline nervous. As such, she pulled Alex, Ri and Kitty aside to try and lock in a majority, and while he sounds like he is interested, I think Alex is definitely non-committal.

Caroline then decided that she needed to catch up with Valeria and make sure she doesn’t realise that they orchestrated Viola’s downfall. She and Kitty lay it on thick, talking about how Mark doesn’t deserve to make it to the end and isn’t trustworthy, so they are glad to have her back on their side. And oh ladies, you’re screwed. Mark and Feras caught up to talk about plans, though instead of locking anything in, Mark wandered off to find Winna and Valeria to loop them in on what actually happened on the second Rebels tribe. With both of them living for his attempts at revenge, and looking forward to working together to achieve it. Eventually. Valeria then scrubbed up and made herself comfortable in her bed, offering to take people’s confession and all around living her best life. And yes, I love that for her.

The next day the tribe reconnected with JLP for the first individual immunity challenge where they would each have to hold a bar up using their legs, to keep a chute holding a ball upright. With the last one holding their ball jagging the win. Kirby was rather confident that wouldn’t be her, so opted to rest instead. She was followed out by Raymond, Kitty and Caroline, with the last two delighting the hell out of Valeria. Mark was shaking out as Kirby told Scott and Ri to just drop, given they aren’t at risk. And I feel like Scott isn’t loving this arrogance. Eden, Aileen and Rianna all dropped in quick succession, before Scott eventually followed. Feras then dropped out of nowhere, as everyone started to whisper about needing anyone but Alex to win, making me feel like we’ve missed some key scenes. After ten minutes, Mark finally put himself out of his misery by dropping, followed by Alex, as Jaden and Winna started doing crunches for fun. The duo were still battling after 20 minutes before Jaden dropped, given he didn’t like the look of the necklace and felt it would look good on Winna instead.

Back at camp everyone was feeling super nervous, unsure how things would play out at the first tribal council. The OG Titans were feeling quietly confident however, given Winna is immune and Valeria has safety without power. Ri joined them as they quickly locked in a split vote between Raymond and Feras, with Eden suggesting King Ray needs to be the one to go to weaken Feras. So bye Eden, I now hate you. They split up to lock in extra votes with Alex happy to do whatever as long as it isn’t him – swoon, just like Sandra! Mark and Ray caught up on the shore, while Eden continued to loop in OG Rebels, as Kirby and Feras watched on, laughing about how silly they were.

Ri and Valeria caught up with Kirby to tell her the plan, and while Ri thought it felt right, Kirby thankfully put her foot down. As such, Valeria threw out the possibility of blindsiding Kitty instead, given she is the most likely person from the Middle Aged Mafia to win immunity and ruin their future plans. The wind then got super intense, blowing an absolute gale and almost destroying the shelter. Scott meanwhile was struggling under the pressure, not wanting Kitty to go, given they had formed a bond. While also being super worried about Kirby growing too close to Valeria, and handing her the power instead of them. Sadly for the OG Rebels, he then told Kitty that the votes were actually coming for her, as Kirby watched on in shock. And promptly pulled him away for a walk to talk about life outside of the game.

The Titans started to panic, wondering where he heard that name and as such, decided to find out directly from him.They cornered poor Scott, along with Alex and Ri, before Scott eventually named Mark and Valeria as the source. Caroline and Kitty then angrily went to the shelter to confront them, getting rather hostile with them before Valeria eventually just decided to lay the blame with Feras. Which calmed them all down and lulled them into a false sense of security. Mark caught up with Eden and Ri, pointing out that Caroline and Kitty confronted him when he didn’t even do anything. Eden tried to broker peace, getting them to abandon the split vote and instead load their votes on Raymond. Before telling Alex to vote with them and play his idol for Kitty, because ok Eden, sure. That will happen. Caroline then yelled at Valeria for wearing Nathan’s jacket, given she had claimed it and damn, the old gals are spiralling.

At tribal council Valeria took her place on the jury bench as Winna spoke about how grateful he is to have immunity, given the camp was super chaotic all afternoon, with multiple plans and agendas. Suggesting others should have tried harder in the challenge. Raymond spoke about feeling like he knows what is happening, though is also sure he is missing out on a lot of things. Alex spoke about how the sheer size of the tribe made coming up with a plan all the more difficult. Eden mentioned that the first merge tribal council is one of the biggest, given it draws the line in the sand and sets the agenda moving forward. Caroline agreed it would help clarify where everyone stands, as Kitty mentioned that her name came out there. Talking about how people underestimate her, but she is actually smart and successful and as such, if she is still in the tribe tomorrow, she will be gunning for the person that threw her name out. Which is more incentive to get rid of her, TBH.

Kitty grew more and more fired up, as Scott spoke about how his innate empathy is really making the game really hard right now. And while making the merge is a dream come true, he has been struggling with his mental health and as such, wants to quit, to let the people wanting to stick around and fight have that shot. He opened up about how he has always been an optimist, despite his mental health, and in the game, he hasn’t exactly had a reprieve. At all. Kirby spoke about how she has noticed how Scott has started to struggle and she supports whatever he needs. Eden spoke about how proud of him he is, for doing what is right for him. Alex started to cry, Caroline told him how brave he is before he sadly stood up, grabbed his torch and headed out.

As he arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled him in for a massive hug and then promptly broke down in his arms. Scott was such a delight to have on this season, and while I support him leaving to look after himself, I am equally heartbroken to not see a fellow queer person thrive. And ideally win, because trust, he has all the skills to make it to the end. After reminding him of all those things, I reiterated that I am so proud of him before pulling him in for a final hug as we joyfully smashed a warm Mushroom Cream Gnoccott Butler.

This dish combines two of my favourite, warming things – potato and cream. And hot damn, is it good. Earthy, rich and packing a hidden punch, this quick and easy meal (assuming the gnocchi is already set) still feels decadent. Which is always iconic, no?

Enjoy!

Mushroom Cream Gnoccott Butler
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g gnocchi
3 tablespoon unsalted butter
2 cups mushrooms, thinly sliced
4 shallots, minced
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 tbsp rosemary, roughly chopped
1 tsp chilli flakes
1 cup chicken stock
1 tablespoon wholegrain mustard
1 cup thickened cream
1 cup parmesan cheese, grated
kosher salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Bring a pot of salted water to the boil, and once rollicking, cook the gnocchi per packed instructions.

Pop the butter in a large skillet over medium heat and once foamy, add the mushrooms. Cook, stirring, for 10 minutes or so, or until they are browned and all their liquid has been reabsorbed. Add the shallots and cook for a further few minutes, before stirring in the garlic, rosemary and chilli and cooking off for a minute.

Stirring all the time, slowly pour in the stock, followed by the cream and then the parmesan. Cook, stirring frequently until the sauce comes together. Season to taste and stir in the gnocchi.

Before stirring and devouring.


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Jessiclaw Wild

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, Salad, Side, Snack, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on All Stars Alexis alluded to an alliance with Kandy as a way to explain why she chose to eliminate Lala, despite her promise to never forget her saving her the week before. Sadly though, it only made Jessica and Jimbo more nervous about the NYC producer. The top four then roasted Carson, with Alexis getting a few laughs, Jessica a complete delight, Kandy going in hard and Jimbo, well, Jimbo’ed. Absolutely perfect as she roasted Carson in pitch-perfect character as Joan Rivers. She then faced off against THE lip sync assassin Silky Nutmeg Ganache and somehow won her first ever lip sync. And promptly sent Alexis home. In full bologna clown character, which makes the win make so much more sense.

Backstage the dolls were feeling their oats, none more so than Jimbo, who was just thrilled to have won a lip sync. Kandy tried to bring her back down to earth, reminding her that she lost three this season alone. After they sat down Jessica looked into Jimbo’s box – exposing balls – before opening the other box, gagging everyone with the fact they all voted against Alexis while she in turn voted for Jessica. Kandy admitted that she knew that Alexis was never pulling her name, admitting that she believed they were aligned, however in Kandy’s mind, they were never aligned because she couldn’t trust her after Lala gate. And while it is hilariously iconic, Jimbo still worried whether she could trust Kandy should she take out the next challenge.

The next day the top three were giddy to have made it so far before Ru dropped by to announce that they still have a couple more challenges to get through if they want the crown. But first, the mini challenge, where they would have to transform their torso into the next JPG fragrance. After getting into quick drag and hot glueing their designs, Jessica slayed her Forbidden Juice and I love that for her. Kandy was stunning as she sold My Muse, while Jimbo – obviously – was hilarious selling Lady Nightshade. Sadly though, it was nothing to compete with the charm of Jessica Wild who took out victory. Ru then announced that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be making over three of our lesbian sisters and after Amanda-Faye, Angie and Lisa introduced themselves, they dove into a box to pull their very own lipsticks. With Jimbo and Amanda-Faye pairing up and Angie pulling Kandy, leaving Jessica and Lisa. 

After Ru departed the dolls got to know their new sisters, with Angie opening up to Kandy about how nervous she was to go back into playing with femininity. But damn, hearing Kandy talk about her love for her mothers and how she uses drag to love herself and that she hopes to be able to do that for Angie, I am all in on the Kandy train. Kandy then unveiled her ‘50s inspired looks before naming her sister Kookie and well, I love them. Jessica and Lisa meanwhile were busy being adorable, with Lisa happy to do whatever is needed despite being shy. They spoke about how hard it was to grow up being bullied throughout high school and watching them trauma bonding was just so sweet and I would do anything for them. Jimbo and Amanda meanwhile were laughing it up and heaping each other with praise and well, I love it too. 

And the fact Jimbo packed her Canada’s Drag Race entry look like a thrifty icon.

Despite having the easiest person to work with, Kandy started to spiral about having to rely on someone else to make it through to the finale. Ru interrupted the spiral to kiki with her and Kookie, with Kandy getting top marks for their concept and Kookie, some tips for walking in heels. Jimbo and Amanda-Faye had Ru laughing as they caught up, before they locked in their slutty concept. While Lisa – aka Kitty Wild – thrilled to finally be able to own her femininity and no longer be triggered by it. And ugh, I love Jessica and her desire to just make Lisa feel confident.

And then Ru announced that in addition to the makeover, the duos would each have to perform a lip sync performance to Ru’s new mash-up single. Jimbo and Amanda-Faye were first up to work through their lip sync and while Jimbo told her to let go of her nerves and have fun. That statement though made her very nervous. Jessica and Lisa meanwhile were on the struggle bus, while Kandy and Kookie were killing, thanks to Kandy acting like a stage mother. And yeah, this feels like it is her episode.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to get their newest sisters ready for their mainstage debut. Lisa opened up about how nervous she was to talk to Ru yesterday, while Jessica was thrilled at her confidence growing. And again, I love them. Jimbo meanwhile was assuring her sister that she is glad they’ve gone the fem route rather than clowning, given she just wants her to have a good time. While Kookie broke down over how grateful she was to embrace her femininity and work through her lingering trauma about it. The dolls opened up about how they identify before they discussed who can use the D and F words, with them all agreeing that the most important thing is the intention behind the way they are spoken within community. Oh and then there was an absolute mad panic to finish their mugs.

Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined by the one and only Zooey Deschanel as Jessica and Kitty Wild opened up the runway looking so confident and stunning and serving all the family resemblance. Jimbo and Sissy Delicious were shiny, slutty and camp as hell, having the absolute best time. Kandy and Kookie then served perfection from start to finish. They were stunning, cute and camp and damn, Kandy can PAINT. Jessica was praised for the closeness she and her new sister served and how alike they looked, though the judges wished their shoes looked more alike. Jimbo was praised for how adorable they were, despite the simplicity of the looks. While Kandy received wall to wall praise for the entire concept and delivery and yeah, congratulations Kandy! 

But before Ru could make any official announcements, the duos took the stage back-to-back-to-back to serve their lip syncs. And damn they were all so much fun, but again, Kandy and Kookie were far and away the stand outs and ugh, I live for it. Obviously Kandy took out a very well deserved victory, leaving our frontrunner and the people’s queen in the bottom. Oh and Ru explained that no matter what happens in the lip sync, Kandy gets to decide who goes home. Essentially, given it is guaranteed to finish in a tie.

Backstage the top three and their sisters spoke about how exciting it was to take the stage together, heaping each other with praise for all they achieved. And ugh, I just love hearing all this queer on queer love as we truly are stronger together. Jessica led the dolls in congratulating Kandy, with her in turn telling her new sister that she never feared working with her given she was just so open. Jessica and Jimbo meanwhile were disappointed to be in the bottom, though accepted that they really are only there because they are down to three. As Kandy pointed out this is the first time they’d go down to a top two for an episode, Zooey dropped by untuck and damn she is as sweet as she is in Elf and I love it.

After she and the newest queens departed, Kandy and the dolls kikied with Kandy admitting that she could easily be a bitch and eliminate Jimbo, given it would make it easier for her to get the crown. With Jimbo trying to massage Kandy’s feet to live another day. When it came for Jessica’s turn, she instead focused on their latina roots and the fact that she is a veteran that has been working since Kandy was a kid. 

With that Jessica and Jimbo voted for each other before Kandy made her decision and ventured to the mainstage before Priyanka was revealed as the final lip sync assassin of the season. And bless, she finally got to meet Ru! And as soon as Destiny’s Child Jumpin’ Jumpin’ kicked off, it was clear that she was not blowing her chance of appearing on All Winners 2 as she split, flipped and all around slayed the show. And while Kandy was hilarious and sexy – I mean, you can see her lisp when lip syncing – it was clear Priyanka won Ru’s heart and rightly scored victory. After Kandy was sent to the back of the stage, Priyanka then promptly pulled both Jimbo and Jessica’s lipsticks from her titties, meaning Kandy had to leg it back to the front of stage before she stayed loyal to her ally and sent the iconic Jessica Wild home.

Ideally to win the Fame Games.

Backstage Jessica timidly tip toed her way to the corner of the Werk Room where I was screaming and throwing shit at the wall. She pulled me in for a hug and reminded me that while it isn’t Taco Tuesday, both she and I will be fine and that she had the best time. After a few hours of talking me through my rage, I admitted that like Katya before her, being a robbed goddess of All Stars is often more lucrative than the actual win and knowing that, I instantly perked back up. And then toasted her success with a Jessiclaw Wild.

While I know that the conventional wisdom is that you don’t make friends with salad, this sweet, vibrant slaw may just be (yet another) exception to the rule. Creamy and rich, tart and flavourful, it is the ultimate accompaniment to a little fried chicken or pulled pork. Which would make wonderful tacos, no?

Enjoy!

Jessiclaw Wild
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 cup Shayonnaise Swain
1 lemon, zested and juiced
2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
2 tbsp wholegrain mustard
1 tsp celery salt
salt and pepper, to taste
½ head red cabbage, very thinly sliced
2 carrots, julienned
1 red onion, diced
2 sticks celery, thinly sliced
¼ cup flat leaf parsley, roughly chopped
1 tbsp thyme, finely chopped
1 tbsp rosemary, finely chopped

Method
Whisk together the mayonnaise, lemon zest and juice, vinegar, mustard and celery salt in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper.

Fold through the cabbage, carrots, onion, celery and herbs and mix until well combined. Cover and pop in the fridge for a couple of hours to allow to chill and the flavours to come together. Then and only then, does one devour.


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Divina de Campo Boy

Burgers, Main, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK 1, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race UK the final three were tasked with writing a verse in the ru-mix to Rocket to the Moon and then lip sync to it and dance on the mainstage, with the trio all slaying the performance and looking like a million bucks on the runway. They were joined by the eliminated queens who returned to watch the lip sync for the crown, but record scratch only two would be performing as Baga was eliminated from the competition in third place.

With that The Vivienne and Divina took their places to lip sync for the crown to Wham’s I’m Your Man and I know I say this a lot, but damn did they turn it out. Divina hit every syllable, The Vivienne served comedy and both of them positively glowed as they ate up the stage and proved why they earnt their places in the top two. And why this race was so damn close. They criss-crossed the stage and had the judges in hysterics before The Vivienne glided to the front of the stage on her knees in a full on ball gown.

Which I would argue is what pushed her over the edge, ultimately handing The Vivienne the inaugural crown.

While Divina was bummed not to take out victory, she was thrilled to have pushed herself out of her comfort zone and get to showcase her skills to a whole new audience. Plus, she truly owned the season with her whistle tones, which is a true win.

I’ve been friends with Divs for years, going to school together and trashing on Thatcher while we whispered about boys and hid our identities thanks to her hideous policies. It wasn’t a good time nor am I making light of it, but having a friend to go through all that with was a godsend and really forged our friendship. And I’m so grateful to be able to congratulate her on her success with our Divina de Campo Boy.

Spiced sausage, the tang of mustard and pickles and the kick of sriracha work together to create a glorious sandwich. Add to that the crunch of the roll with the delicate bread and creamy lettuce, this true is a holistic taste sensation.

Like Divs well rounded bag of skills.

Enjoy!

Divina de Campo Boy
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g andouille sausage
½ cup Shayonnaise Swain
¼ cup wholegrain mustard
1 tbsp Sriracha sauce
salt and pepper, to taste
4 6-inch crunchy baguettes, split in half lengthwise
8 butter lettuce leaves, torn, washed and dried
6 bread and butter pickles, sliced
1 onion, thinly sliced
fries, to serve

Method
Bring a skillet up to temperature over medium heat and once scorched, cook the sausages turning every few minutes or until cooked through. This should take about ten to fifteen minutes. Once cooked, remove to a paper towel to rest.

While you’re working the sausage, combine the mayo, mustard and sriracha with a good whack of salt and pepper and stir to combine.

To assemble the sandwiches, slather each split bun with a generous heap of sauce. Layer the lettuce on the buns, top with pickles and onions and then cut the sausages into chunks and add those too.

Then devour, with or without the prize. Wait, I mean fries.


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Lamb Cassarahole & Ayles awaiting my dear Sarah Ayles to eat while I rant about Andy surviving.

Lamb Cassarahole & Ayles

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Champions vs. Contenders (2019), Main, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Jonathan threw a spanner in all of the works, forcing everyone to drop their buffs – sadly not John’s speedos, though – and switched up the tribes. The three Champion women lucked out and stayed strong together in a Champ majority on the new Contenders tribe, while David and Luke were royally screwed as the only OG Champs remaining on the Champions tribe. Oh and Daisy and Shaun’s alliance was also split up, though that only became relevant after the new Champions continued in the tradition and lost immunity. You see Shaun had told Andy about his idol, who then spread the information to the rest of the Contenders on the Champions tribe, with Daisy overhearing and deciding that he is no longer to be trusted. With that, she approached  John and Baden to flip to David and Luke with her and blindside Sam – who never got a freaking confessional – which they did, leaving the OG Champs alive for another episode with an idol in each of their pockets.

We opened up with at the new Contenders tribe where Abbey, Ross and Pia were still lamenting the downgrade of facilities from what they were useful at Camp Champ. While the girls struggled in the squalor, sweet angel Ross tried to find the bright side and honestly he is too pure for this world. I just get the goofiest grin whenever he is on screen and I hope he knows how much I appreciate him.The tribe sat around bonding and downing coconuts, while Janine was thrilled to have the majority on her new tribe. Though was struggling big time when it came to remembering Casey’s name. Or was it Cassie. Talk then legit turned to eating Harry, despite his fake child at home. Pia’s serving suggestion was to turn him into a kebab. Harry then vowed that he will be taking control of the tribe and was thrilled that Luke or David likely went home at last night’s tribal.

Speaking of the new Champions tribe, Andy – who looks more like Sonic the Hedgehog than the original movie version that they’re currently fixing – was still shell-shocked by the blindside while David was thrilled to have found his way into the new majority so quickly, thanks to Daisy’s vendetta against Sam. Desperate Andy approached David to pretend that he was trying to protect David at the last tribal and honestly, the desperation reeks of insincerity and I need him out ASAP. And if that performance keeps up, I think I’ll get my wish. Sarah too was seething after the previous vote, so approached Hannah to float the idea of wooing Baden back to their side to get rid of Daisy in a revenge plot which sadly seems shortsighted given the Contenders early domination. Shortsighted but good TV.

Jonathan summoned the tribes to a rolling river where the Contenders were shocked to find Sam was booted the night before, none more so than Harry who had just felt confident enough to get arrogant. But back to the challenge where someone from each tribe who swim against the flowing river, with the last person staying in the marked zone winning a point for the tribe. First to three winning a Survivor cafe experience, so everyone was as thrilled as I was given swimming calls for speedos. Once again Luke and Matt faced off against each other, with Matt making quick work of Luke. Again. Leading to even more arrogance from Matt. Ross and Baden went next and despite starting strong, poor Baden wasn’t a chance against the surfing champ. Janine got out strong against Andy, until the current washed her away and Andy – urgh – got the Champions on the board. Abbey and Daisy proved an interesting match up, with both women working hard as Daisy drifted into Abbey’s lane and Abbey almost wiped Daisy off the course before ultimately, Daisy won the point and tied things up. The final match-up between Hannah and Casey was far less interesting, as Hannah washed right out of the field giving Casey the point and handing victory to the new Contenders.

The Contenders arrived at their cafe reward where Shaun was thrilled to finally take out a reward, Casey got her first confessional and Matt was struggling to understand why he wasn’t miserable. While everyone was frothing over the food, King Ross smashed four coffees and quickly started to lose his mind before having a power spew and coming back for seconds. Harry meanwhile wasn’t so thrilled and couldn’t move past the fact that Sam was voted out, while Abbey and Janine quickly got all of the information out of Harry and Casey, finding out Sam and Daisy didn’t get along, meaning Harry likely won’t work with Daisy or her ally Shaun. While Harry desperately tried to make in rounds with the former Champs, he didn’t look to be having much luck and felt on the outs with his new closest ally Casey. The latter however had other plans, leaving him for dead and buddying up to Janine, Pia and Abbey to try and save herself while Harry wandered around until he found the damn idol.

And while it is exciting for him, I just want to know what happened to his eye and if it is what happened to Benji’s last year as it looks angry.

Jonathan returned for the immunity challenge where two people from each tribe would be placed in chambers while their remaining tribemates would race over balance beams to collect buckets of water from the ocean to fill up the other tribe’s chambers. Given poor Sarah can’t catch a break, she was submerged in one of the Champion chambers with Hannan in the other while Casey and Pia were the potential drowning victims for the Contenders. It is pretty hard to tell who is leading at any given moment, so let’s focus on the fact Hannah seems super fun and entertaining and I hate that she is the last person remaining without a confessional. Pia was the first to be completely submerged, followed closely by Hannah while the two desperately tried to keep their noses above water before Hannah and Pia dropped out one after the other, leaving Casey and Sarah to battle it out. Tragically Sarah fought valiantly however it wasn’t enough as the Contenders kept a steady flow of water going into her bath forcing her to bow out, handing victory to the Contenders.

Back at camp the Champions assured each other that they did all that they could at the challenge before Andy tried to find a way to live to see another day. He then approached David as, to quote him, David is smart for a model and he himself is scary smart, so he thinks they will make good allies. Sadly for Andy, David could see through all of his lies though given he holds the power, he doesn’t really mind. Yet. He rallied his allies and suggested they get rid of Sarah, given she isn’t as agile as Hannah with everyone jumping on the plan quickly. Andy left the group and approached Sarah to see what she was thinking, with Sarah suggesting going to the top of the totem pole and get rid of Daisy. Andy then ran back to the shelter, lay next to Daisy and told her what Sarah and Hannah were planning, filling the icon with rage.

Sarah then wandered over to Baden and Luke at the well, telling them that Andy threw her under the bus before David and Hannah joined them. Sarah asked David what his plans were, with him admitting that he was going to vote her out … though would happily turn on Andy instead. David then said Andy was playing so badly he was planting landmines, forgetting where they were and then blowing himself off all up the beach and I LIVE. Daisy and Sarah then caught up with Daisy suggesting that she would be willing to get rid of Andy instead. The only certainty as they headed off to tribal council, is that once again David and Luke are safe and their two idols will remain in the pockets for another episode.

At tribal council Andy tried to downplay how shocked he was by Sam’s blindside before Jonathan congratulated David on surviving the insurmountable odds. David downplayed the OG tribes, reminding everyone it is a new game and they are one unit. Sarah admitted that the lines were well and truly blurred, while Daisy reminded them it is eat or be eaten. Hannah admitted it is too hard to trust anyone in a long term way, while Sarah alluded to Andy continuing to play the middle and Luke blurted out that there was some madness back at camp. Andy tried to be coy about the situation, where he shoved his hole leg in his mouth which everyone was aware of, before Sarah verbalised that she is the one that walked up on Andy’s dick move with the Sonic impersonator getting more and more nervous. Wait, no, cocky, as his fuck-up is only an issue for Sarah. John told everyone to pull their heads in, Andy spoke about the importance of trust – much to John’s disgust – while Sarah sounded defeated, warning them to all keep one eye open.

With that the tribe voted and despite me crossing everything in my body, praying to a wide range of deities and promising not to cuss anyone out tomorrow for asking stupid questions, it was my dear Sarah who was booted from the game as low-rent Sonic sped to smug another day.

Once again, I was a giant ball of rage as Sarah entered Loser Lodge and fearing that I was on the brim of freaking out, she took me in her arms and told me to breath through the pain. She assured me she was proud of the game she played, and glad to prove herself and while I fought back tears thinking of all the ways the game has tried to bring up memories of the tsunami for her and the fake that yet another woman was booted over a smug, beige male, I realised that all we needed – Sarah, I and the world at large – was a big comforting Lamb Cassarahole & Ayles to dull the pain.

 

Sarah Ayles joyfully eating Lamb Cassarahole & Ayles while I rant about Andy surviving.

 

Thankfully this rich casserole is glorious enough to wipe away some of the pain of seeing this icon leave the game. Earthy lamb, the tang of ale and the sharpness of some gruyere work together in perfect harmony to honour the ultimate survivor of this season who deserved so much better. #Justice4Sarah

Enjoy!

 

Sarah Ayles joyfully eating Lamb Cassarahole & Ayles while I rant about Andy surviving.

 

Lamb Cassarahole & Ayles
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
olive oil
1 onion, sliced
4 garlic cloves, minced
2 celery stalks, sliced
1 carrot, sliced
1.5kg lamb shoulder, diced
2 tbsp flour
200g mushrooms, sliced
2 tbsp wholegrain mustard
2 tbsp tomato paste
345ml bottle ale
2 cups beef stock
2 bay leaves
1 tbsp muscovado sugar
1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
salt and pepper, to taste
1 baguette, sliced
100g gruyere cheese, grated
¼ cup flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped, to serve

Method
Heat a good lug of olive oil in a dutch oven and sweat the onion, garlic, celery and carrot for five minutes, or until your kitchen is hella fragranced. Add the lamb and cook for a further five minutes or so before adding the flour and cooking off for a couple of minutes. Add the mushrooms, mustard, tomato paste, ale, stock, bay leaves, muscovado sugar, Worcestershire Sauce, and a good whack of salt and pepper. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for two hours, stirring occasionally.

Preheat oven to 180°C.

Once the casserole is thick and gloopy, top with the baguette and all of the cheese. Transfer to the oven and bake for fifteen minutes, or until the cheese is golden and glorious.

Sprinkle with parsley, serve and devour.

 


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