Previously on Australian Survivor after nearly four weeks of hard-fought battle, the tribes finally merged, with the OG Brains having a lovely little numbers advantage. Despite that their many dynamics made things quite challenging. After Logan won the first individual immunity with a hidden immunity idol in her pocket, she was feeling confident. Her first step was to confront sometime ally, sometime enemy Zara to get her on board with taking AJ out. Eventually. AJ meanwhile was busy schmoozing his way around camp to try and get rid of Paulie, falling into Kate’s eyes and sucking up to PD. Poor zaddy Paulie on the other hand had his back, warning AJ that the two of them just needed to lay low if they wanted to protect themselves. Despite all the chaos, none of the big moves came together as all the alliances came together to boot Jesse from the game, much to Paulie’s surprise.
The next day Paulie shared just how gagged he was to still be alive in the game, particularly since it came down to just a single vote. Despite the joy, he was feeling all alone, with nobody even checking how his head was! Tragically Zara was busy planning to take him out, as he continued to sulk. Sulk and watched all the duos that had formed around camp, realising that as the odd man out, he could find some power yet. And if he can’t make inroads, best believe, he was going to find an idol. As he hunted, AJ, Logan and Kristin caught up, talking about how much they didn’t want Paulie on the jury given he would never vote for them to win, and is persuasive enough to turn people against them. AJ then caught up with Kaelan, as our violent, nipple king whispered to AJ that Logan has an idol. And ugh, Kaelan, no – don’t screw Logan! AJ immediately ran to tell Myles with our pole dancing king letting him know that he conveniently has an advantage allowing him to steal an idol. And he is totally taking Logan’s, isn’t he?
Jonathan made his triumphant return for the latest immunity challenge where the tribe would each have to pull down on a bar to hold a spool in place with the last person standing scoring immunity. Oh my god, how much easier is it to explain individual challenges? I live. Anyway, PD obviously took his place on the sit out bench as Zara and Logan started to speculate who could beat Paulie. That distracted Zara enough to be the first person to drop, shockingly followed by Paulie, much to the delight of her and everyone else. This led to a mass exodus with AJ, Laura, Kate and Logan dropping in quick succession. Morgan and Myles were next, followed by Karin leaving Kaelan and Kristin to fight for more than fifteen minutes before Kristin had her first wobble and saved it. Sadly it wasn’t much longer before the momentum became too much as she dropped, handing nipple-god Kaelan immunity.
Back at camp everyone congratulated him on taking out the win before agreeing that tonight would be an easy Paulie vote. While Logan was happy to bring everyone together with this plan, AJ, Zara, Kristin and Kaelan caught up to discuss the merits of loading all the votes on Paulie or doing a split, just in case. After agreeing that it wouldn’t be an issue, AJ suggested to us that he felt now would actually be the best time to blindside Logan instead. Laura meanwhile was also thinking that keeping Paulie around could be a good idea, so caught up with Myles to point out that Paulie would work for them and as such, they could use him to get rid of someone who wouldn’t. Like say, PD. Plus, it would free up Kristin to work with them.
With them agreeing to save our zaddy, Myles went off to loop in AJ and see what he was thinking, before assuring Paulie that there may be hope and to just relax. That left Laura with the more difficult job of convincing the girls, and while Morgan and Kate were keen, they were concerned about Kristin finding out. Right on cue, Kristin appeared and put an end to the conversation. Laura then approached Logan and Karin, with the duo telling Laura that Paulie was too dangerous to leave in the game any longer. Laura tried to calmly explain that a desperate Paulie is more likely to help them get further, than a relaxed and settled PD, but it all fell on deaf ears. Logan then threw a tantrum, enraged about Laura being inflexible, just like she accused Zara of being, and dare I say it, maybe Logan is the one that is inflexible? That being said, I obviously live for the drama and love that she is threatening to vote out her closest ally for suggesting they get rid of PD.
But she is on thin ice, TBH.
Laura was rightly terrified of her tantrum, so ran back to Kate and Morgan to call the plan off, just as they were telling Paulie to vote for PD. She pulled Myles and Kate aside to let them know how angry Logan was, with her assuring them that she cannot afford to take out anyone but Paulie. But kind of inferred she was happy with them powering ahead. Karin and Zara joined the chat, with them agreeing it is smartest to stick with the plan, while Myles desperately complained to us about wanting to make a move. He caught up with AJ to let him know that the PD plan was dead, just as PD walked up to talk about how paranoid everyone was. And while they were able to assure him the plan is still Paulie, the fact that everyone ran round and round the island, you know this tribal council is going to be chaos.
Myles and Laura talked through Logan’s issues, and hearing that it was just Logan complaining that she ‘never’ gets her way, Myles was pissed. As the resident power bottom. While Logan assured us that she would be playing her idol for herself if Paulie pulled one out to save himself. Zara and Karin meanwhile caught up with PD and Kristin, with the former Brains warning PD that he will likely cop some votes today. And when they found themselves alone, Kristin promised PD that should Paulie play an idol, she would 100% play hers for him. Soooo basically, Myles is stealing Logan’s idol, playing it for Paulie and PD is going home, based on the last couple of minutes, no?
At tribal council Morgan spoke about how hectic their afternoon had been, though admitted she was glad to be there and was ready to vote. Logan spoke about feeling comfortable that she knew what would happen tonight, though admitted she was worried about how it could change moving forward. Talk turned to all the pairs that had formed in the tribe, while Kristin freely admitted that she was looking for multiple buddies, so to not put her in a box. While zaddy Paulie would be happy to just have one buddy and ugh, stop bullying my speedo king. He admitted that he realised he was buddy-less, though tried to remind everyone that being alone also made him useful and as such, people should make the most of using him. Logan agreed that being alone could be useful to others, though suggested that Paulie isn’t the right person as he has proven himself untrustworthy. While our power bottom Myles reiterated that he just needs to prove himself trustworthy over time, if given a chance.
Paulie assured everyone that he has taken notes and plans to grow from this, and prove himself to the tribe. And should someone save him, he would owe them his life in the game and he would never forget it. And I know I am biased – and a little bit horny for him – but he was swap screwed and was just trying to save himself, move on. As Jonathan tried to send them off to vote, Myles whipped out his steal an idol advantage and suggested that people are scared enough to burn theirs tonight, so to save a needless idol plays, he would be stealing Kristin’s. Immediately proving my earlier prediction wrong. With that out of the way, the tribe went to vote before Myles became the hero of his queer community, playing Kristin’s idol for Paulie and sending her closest ally PD out of the game.
Like Jesse before him, not much was shown of PD on the show, but it was very clear when he arrived at Loser Lodge that he is an absolute sweetheart. And maybe the editors just didn’t want us to get too attached to someone that was kind of screwed by his injuries. Despite it all, PD was glad to have had the opportunity to have played and didn’t hold his bicep against the quiet-killer Kaelan. But who would focus on holding grudges when you’ve got a delicious Paul Spanakopdee Quiche sitting in front of you.
This little copycat number is frankly delicious! The saltiness of the jatz base perfectly cuts through the rich, creaminess of the cheesy, spinach filling. Plus, it is super easy, which always makes things taste just that little bit sweeter.
Enjoy!
Paul Spanakopdee Quiche Serves: 4-6.
Ingredients 225g Jatz crackers 150g butter, melted 2 tsp olive oil 4 garlic cloves, minced 250g frozen chopped spinach 2 green shallots, thinly sliced 2 tbsp chopped fresh mint 250g cream cheese, at room temperature ⅓ cup sour cream ⅓ cup milk 4 eggs 80g feta, crumbled 1 cup vintage cheddar, grated
Method Pop the crackers in a food processor and blitz until finely crushed. Still on, pour in the butter and mix until combined. Transfer the mixture to a quiche dish and press into the base and sides to form a shell. Transfer to the fridge for 15 minutes to set.
Preheat the oven to 160C before baking the crust for 10 minutes, or until golden. Leave to cool slightly.
While the base is baking, pop the oil in a skillet over medium heat, and cook the garlic for a minute or until nice and fragrant. Add the spinach, shallots and mint, and cook stirring for five minutes, or until it has defrosted and all the liquid has evaporated. Set aside until required.
Next, beat the cream cheese in a stand mixer until smooth. Reduce to low and slowly add in the sour cream, followed by the milk, until combined. Add the eggs one at a time, waiting until it comes together before adding the next. Turn off the mixer and fold through the spinach, shallots and mint, before seasoning with a good whack of pepper.
Pour the filling into the baked crust, top with the eta and cheddar, and bake for 20 minutes, or until setting. Leave to rest for ten minutes before serving and devouring, like a quiet king.
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Previously on Australian Survivor the Brains smashed parmies and pints, while Myles continued to piss off Zara and Laura as he ran his mouth trying to make friends. Despite the ladies assuring him that the OG Brawn will not move for any of them. At the immunity challenge, Laura and Logan caught up and agreed that both of their tribes were clearly trying to throw the challenge, rather than Ben and AJ just being flops when it came to shooting … baskets. Back at camp an injured Noonan was irate that AJ didn’t tell her he was throwing, given she could have saved herself the injury by not participating. She then told Logan that AJ was coming for her and continued the chaos at tribal council where Paulie played his idol, which in turn spooked AJ into playing his – infuriating Karin in the process due to him keeping it from her – before Noonan sadly went home.
We followed them back to camp where AJ congratulated Paulie on his correct idol play before begging Paulie to tell everyone the truth, that he didn’t throw out Logan’s name. Which led to the duo arguing back and forth about semantics, given AJ didn’t directly say to vote her out but he clearly, heavily implied it. Practically via sky writing. Seeing this for what it is, the tribe grew tired of it so all disappeared, as Karin congratulated Paulie on his successful idol play and assured him that she trusts him. This upset AJ, who asked her to stick around and talk to him, while he tried to explain that he kept the hidden immunity idol secret because that is what you do on Survivor. While Karin argued that she just felt that if they were aligned, there wouldn’t be any secrets between them. As Logan and Paulie giggled off to the side, absolutely living for the drama. Mama.
Things were slightly less tense the next day as AJ watched the sunrise before checking in with Karin as she tended the fire. Though given their conversations were all pleasantries, he should still be nervous, despite whatever assurances she may or may not have offered. He then joined Kaelan hunting for idols to thank him for working together and being a constant in the game. Karin, Logan and Kristin caught up to talk about the former’s very emotional reaction to the idol play, before it descended into swapping stories about how AJ is telling them all the same thing. And his robotic attempts at connection are giving them the ick. And ugh, I feel bad for him now!
Paulie meanwhile was leaning into his strengths, wearing his speedo and looking like a gorgeous King. He then floated to the OG Brains that going to the merge together would be best for everyone, so they should just replace AJ with him instead. As he desperately wants to work with him, and that he is trustworthy and has integrity. Rather than AJ’s shiftiness. And he drastically improves their odds moving forward, given he has friends over on Brains. And while it was a good pitch, Karin knew Paulie was a snake oil salesman. But all of his sales come with a kernel of truth, and he is so damn likeable, that she kind of wants to see where things go anyway.
Over at the Brains Kate and Morgan were hanging by the shore and absolutely vibing, given they have the numbers advantage and don’t have to stress about anything. At all. Except for the fact that Ben and Jesse feel like they’re in control, and they aren’t feeling it, so would prefer to explore new opportunities. Jesse called everyone together for a snack, suggesting that this new tribe should be the new majority alliance rather than the OG Brawns, so they can all share margies at the Jury Villa. And while everyone smiled at the idea of having an alliance with everyone in the tribe, the girls had had it. Officially. They ventured down to the beach to wash off, reading him and his idea for absolute filth. We then got a proper introduction to Kate and ugh, she is an icon, she is the moment. She and Morgan pulled Laura and Zara aside at the well, assuring them that they want to work with them on this tribe and after the merge, despite their alliances on the other side. And just like that, Girls Gone Wild was formed and please, let this damn all women alliance stick as I need it in my life. Like, yesterday.
My love JLP returned for the immunity challenge where the tribes would face off using poles to hold a trough up. Aka the tribal version of When It Rains It Pours. Well, after a little kiki between the tribes about the mass of information that was dropped. Specifically between Zara and AJ, through mime. After Kate and Zara took their place on the sit out benches, the challenge was on. Well, for a brief moment, after Brains dropped out of nowhere in the first five minutes. With the surprise loss, everyone started to question who threw the challenge. With Morgan, in particular, irate. Obviously AJ did remind them it could have been a complete accident, but not a single Brain believed it. Particularly Laura. Though Logan was grateful to learn Zara and Laura felt safe.
Back at camp things were very, VERY, tense, as Jesse spoke about how the challenge was just so hard, aye. Happy to be done with said new Brains strong alliance and ready to get rid of one of the OGs. Myles took Laura and Zara for a walk to lock something in. And by lock in, went hunting for an idol. Meanwhile, Ben and Jesse and the former Brawns were busy locking in all their votes for Laura. With a single vote on Myles for safety. Morgan and Kate offered to go talk to Laura and Zara, with Jesse telling them it is finally time for them to get some dirt on their hands. Which obviously pissed them off, just before they ran off to talk to them. Meaning the girls promptly re-confirmed the newly formed Girls Gone Wild alliance, with Laura hoping to loop in Myles. And when she learned she was Jesse’s target, she decided to target him instead. Kate and Morgan caught up about how they navigate around PD and Ben feeling betrayed, while Laura and Zara told Myles that he and Laura are the split vote. But if they all vote Jesse, they just may take control.
Jesse and Ben, however, were feeling a little bit spooked about how much the girls were getting along. And as such, thought about looping Myles in and getting the men to load all their votes on Laura. Hilariously talking about potentially talking to Myles IN FRONT OF MYLES. Ben and Jesse were feeling super confident about their new plan, but the more they spoke, the more Myles realised that they have no idea how the game is played, and as such, ensured he will stick with the women. Despite naming the men’s alliance the Hunkz based on one of Jesse’s tatts. The bobbsey twins then pulled PD aside to loop him in, as they happily wandered off thinking 4 was a majority in a tribe of 5.
While everything felt settled, Laura started to get nervous about whether Kate and Morgan are actually with her, so pulled Kate aside to confirm. Sadly, in front of the boys. After sending Kate off, telling her to tell them she is desperate and just throwing out plans, Laura went idol hunting. And while she didn’t jag an idol, she did jag an advantage. One so good, she felt like she would be on top. Zara stumbled upon her, with the duo locking in their trust as she shared the as yet unknown advantage. Which seems kinda dicey, given Zara’s angry fuck. Despite being current besties, Zara had had it. Officially. As she just can’t catch a break and felt like the advantage was actually a disaster. Laura pointed out it is a solo game and as such, was going to play it. Not to be out done though, Zara vowed to spill the information far and wide.
We pivoted straight to tribal council where Zara refused to vote for Laura, which kind of gave a hint of what the advantage was. Jesse spoke about struggling with the poles, and that is why they dropped, not him throwing the challenge or anything. Zara meanwhile whispered to Laura that she is a rat. And once JLP called it out, Laura tried to save face, by pointing out that whoever received the most votes tonight won’t be going home and instead they would join Brawn. Zara and Myles suggested it go down to an open forum, with Laura and Zara both putting their hands up. Myles asked what the goal would be of them going, with Zara and Laura sharing why they would be best placed to foster relationships heading into merge.
Ben suggested Laura just wants to go over to reunite with her bestie, with her countering that Zara’s bestie Karin is also there. Though when Ben and Jesse pointed out Karin is working with Kristin, things looked more hopeful. Well, for Zara. As Laura congratulated her on a game well played. Ben asked Zara if she would get rid of AJ if she were to go, with her assuring them she has no interest in playing with chaotic players. Leading to the former Brawns whispering about which one was the right decision. With that the tribe voted and Zara, narrowly, came out on top. And after eventually gathering her things, she wandered off to reunite with Karin. As Laura simmered with rage, telling everyone that she wouldn’t have done that to Zara.
We followed her off to her new tribe where Karin and Logan were absolutely delighted to see their former ally. She then regalled them with the tale of how she made her way there, with her conveniently saying that she and Laura found the advantage together. She assured Logan that while the OG Brains were on the bottom of the tribe, they had all worked their arses off to make some inroads with the tribe. She then asked if they could catch her up on what she had missed, though was unsure she should do that in a group setting, given it sounds pretty feisty.
The next day Laura was still simmering with rage at Brains, talking about how angry she was that Zara stole her exit to Brawn. And when Jesse apologised, not realising Zara was hijacking it and that he would have voted differently if he did, she assured him that all her anger is directed towards Zara. Kate too was frustrated, though at both Laura and Zara, because they were about to blindside Jesse. And still could have done that, if only they didn’t find the damn non-advantage. And now that they have to wait longer, their plans could leak before they have the chance to get him. As such, Kate caught up with Jesse to talk through plans post-merge, with him rightly clocking that their alliance could crumble and suggesting that they need to figure out their next moves. With him pitching they take out Zara at the merge.
Myles meanwhile was having a good laugh, given he once again copped votes at tribal council, even though he wasn’t part of it. Thankfully, though, he assured us that he wasn’t serious about aligning with the boys, given they are idiots (my words, not his). What he was serious about, though, was finding an idol, so he scurried away to go hunting. With him once again making easy work of it, pocketing the idol and keeping our pole-dancing bi king alive for another day.
Also Ben is nowhere to be seen around camp, which feels odd, no?
We checked in with the Brawns where Zara realised she was now living a life of luxury, while Karin was just delighted to have her bestie back in the game. And hopeful that she would be able to use Zara to get rid of AJ. He obviously knew it, following them around like a bad smell every time they tried to chat, with Kaz eventually storming off, enraged with him. AJ used the time to loop Zara in on the fact that he didn’t tell Karin about her idol and how that was the final straw, after his theatrics. Though he was now hopeful Zara would be able to help him smooth things over. He told her not to trust anything Paulie says. Which she agreed with, suggesting that once he is gone, she would like to turn their attention to Logan, as they cannot risk her and Laura reuniting at the merge. Which was music to AJ’s ears, as he felt he could finally claw his way back to the top.
My love JLP returned for the reward challenge where the tribes would face off 1 on 1, sliding down a ramp to collect a ring and then wrestle it to their pole. With the first tribe to three scoring a trip to the Survivor Spaghetti Shack. Just a reminder, they would be slipping a ring on their poles, which is important. Logan and Kate were first to battle, with the icons fighting hard before Logan scored the first point for Brawn. The twink and twunk faced off again, with Paulie dragging Myles and the ring to put Brawn further in front. Morgan then destroyed Karin before Ben, who apparently was just on the toilet earlier, tied things up over AJ. Who literally just gave up. PD and Kaelan then faced off for the win, with Kaelan once injuring someone, as medical were called in as PD’s arm made a cracking sound.
As he received care, Kaelan ran to the side in tears, heartbroken to have injured someone. Again. As everyone assured him it was an accident. PD was moved off to a seat where JLP – a qualified doctor, need I remind you – and the doctor decided he may have just torn a tendon, given he could still move his arm. As everyone was focused on making sure Kaelan didn’t stress about his latest victim, Laura pulled Logan aside to warn her that Zara hijacked the non-advantage and not to trust her. Rather than calling off the challenge, JLP called that battle a draw and instead Zara and Laura would end their feud for the win. While JLP begged everyone to be gentle from now on. As they made their way to the top of the ramp, Zara apologised profusely and while it appeared that everything was all good, neither gave an inch during the challenge and after 10 minutes, Laura took out victory for the Brains. After JLP handed the Brains a scroll to explain how their feast would work, PD assured Kaelan everything was all good before he was taken off for further assessment, and ugh, seeing Kaelan break down in tears again was so heartbreaking.
We followed the Brains off to their reward where they read the scroll outlining they would each visit the shack solo. Being fair they all drew sticks, with Jesse first and Kate forced to go in last. Jesse ventured and absolutely demolished the entire set while going to town on some balls. After finding nothing, Ben went in to try, followed by Laura before Myles got to have his turn. And unlike the rest of the tribe, he emptied the bowl to discover a note telling him to check the shelf. Or so he thought, given the note actually said to check the shelter. And while he turned the place apart, he didn’t realise his mistake. Nor did Kate, who went last.
Back at camp the Brawn tribe were heartbroken to have missed out on the spaghetti, though didn’t have time to dwell, as Kristin asked if anyone managed to get information from the other tribe during the challenge. Logan obviously stayed awkwardly quiet, given Laura told her that Zara threw her under the bus at the last tribal council. Logan pulled Karin aside to see whether they can trust Zara, particularly given she is close to AJ and may just let him get away with voting her out. Logan and Karin agreed they now have the ick with AJ and while they tried to float getting rid of him with Kaelan, the quiet killer still wanted to take out Paulie first. As such, the trio went idol hunting as Logan was convinced that AJ would be the death of her. She then immediately found the idol, thrilled to have some power. And can be assured that neither AJ or Paulie don’t have it. Oh and she managed to build a little trust with Kaelan and Karin in the process, which she hoped could help her take control at the merge.
Meaning PD is definitely not coming back and this episode is now just dedicated to setting up merge plot lines, no? Though watching Karin and Logan cackle about accidentally sending home AJ on a split was fun.
We checked in with the Brains where Kate held onto a massive bag of food for PD’s return, presumably to distract herself from how irate she was with Jesse for eating all the meatballs. While Myles was angry at himself for not finding the idol on the shelf. Thankfully he perked up after finding the scroll in the shelter, and this one was actually good, the power to steal an idol before JLP sends people off to vote at tribal council. Aka Knowledge is Power.
The tribes reunited for the latest immunity challenge where PD joined them with his arm in a sling. Again, the second person to become Kaelan’s victim. Thankfully for Kaelan’s guilt, PD was allowed to stay, Missy style, as his bicep was just torn. Though JLP cautioned that he may not be able to compete in every challenge. PD promptly sat out for the Brains meaning AJ had to sit out on Brawn. Which was wise, as it was a challenge that one person could throw. Everyone would hold a rope to balance a disc while they worked to build a stack of blocks on top. With the first to ten scoring immunity. Logan ran the Brawn tribe like it was a military operation, getting out to a huge lead as the Brains struggled to figure it out. Until Brawn dropped after loading their ninth block, opening things up for Brains. Brawn caught up and then dropped again, before Kate put everyone out of their misery, saving the Brains stack while placing the final block.
Back at camp Paulie and AJ were both feeling anxious, pulling their people aside to find some allies. Paulie tried his luck with Kristin, while AJ, Karin and Kaelan caught up, with AJ pretending he will be fine to be the split vote to apologise for playing so crazily. He, Karin, Zara and Logan caught up by the well with Zara telling AJ to pull his head in and make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid. As she will not tolerate his bullshit. Karin, meanwhile, wanted to make AJ sweat a little to punish him for his theatrics. As such, she caught up with Paulie with our zaddy reiterating that she can not trust AJ and he clearly isn’t going to help her make it to the end. And as such, she needs to jump on board his plan to get rid of AJ before he gets rid of her. Paulie pulled Kristin aside to float the idea of her playing her idol for him tonight to send AJ home instead. He made a very wise pitch, suggesting that if she saves him, at the merge they just need to pull PD over and then they can play the middle for the first few votes. Which Kristin found hilarious given she now holds all the power, and PD is actually her ally anyway.
AJ started to get nervous as Paulie and Logan kikied in the shelter, so pulled Kaelan aside to talk through the vote and make sure he didn’t need to worry, given Paulie seemed way too comfortable. AJ was confident that Kristin and Zara wouldn’t turn on him, but was concerned about Karin and Logan. And given he was nervous about a Paulie idol play, he wondered whether they should be talking out Logan instead. He clocked that Kate and Morgan would join Logan and Laura at the merge and become a dangerous foursome, while Paulie will always be a target. And while Kaelan tried to talk him off the edge, Zara joined the boys to confirm with them that the Paulie plan is still on. Kristin and Karin joined the fray, with Kristin telling them everything and shutting it all down. Though trust, Karin was kinda hoping for some drama or an idol play, so she could see AJ accidentally heading out the door.
When the Brains arrived at tribal council, the tribe – along with us – were gagged to learn that none of them would be going home tonight as tribal council was cancelled. Ben had opted to quit the game, off screen, leaving us with no clarity or final words. After an assurance that one of them just got a second chance, they all got sent back to camp as I made a beeline for the airport hoping to catch Ben. And while he was already through customs, I wasn’t able to get answers about his mysterious exit – let’s pray the producers give us something tonight – I was able to lob a Peanut Butter and Chocolate Bendt Bylett Cake to him for the flight home.
Despite leaving no impact on the season, Ben lucked out with arguably the best recipe – a NYT copycat – as this cake is God tier. I mean, you can’t go wrong with the combination of peanut butter and chocolate. And when we slather it in two glazes, it is even better.
Enjoy!
Peanut Butter and Chocolate Bendt Bylett Cake Serves: 12.
Ingredients 240g smooth peanut butter 115g cream cheese, at room temperature 75g muscovado sugar 5 eggs, at room temperature 1 tbsp vanilla extract 430g flour ¾ tsp sea salt, plus a pinch for the icing 95g cocoa powder 240ml boiling water 240ml cold natural yoghurt 225g unsalted butter 120ml vegetable oil 400g caster sugar 1 ¼ tsp baking powder ¾ tsp baking soda 140ml thickened cream 60g smooth peanut butter 60g icing sugar pinch of sea salt 55g dark chocolate
Method First in a stand mixer, cream 180g of the peanut butter with the cream cheese and muscovado sugar using a paddle attachment on medium speed for five minutes, or until light and fluffy. Egg one of the eggs and a teaspoon of the vanilla, and mix until fully incorporated. Reduce to low and gently add three tablespoons of flour and ¼ teaspoon of salt and mix until just combined. Transfer to a bowl while you work on the chocolate cake.
Speaking of which, preheat the oven to 170C. Lightly butter a bundt tin and dust with cocoa to fully coat.
Pop the 95g of cocoa in a small bowl and whisk in the boiling water to form a nice, chocolatey slurry before adding the yoghurt and whisking to combine. Leave to rest.
Meanwhile combine the butter, oil and caster sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer and cream with a paddle attachment on medium for five minutes, or until light and fluffy. Reduce to medium and add the remaining four eggs one at a time, allowing the mixture to come back together after each addition, before adding the remaining vanilla. Whisk the remaining flour in a bowl with the baking powder, soda and salt. Reduce the mixer to low and slowly add a third of the flour until it is all combined. Add half the cocoa-yoghurt, and once it is combined, follow with a third of the flour, followed by the remaining wet ingredients and then the remaining flour until the batter comes together.
Pour about two-thirds of the chocolate batter into the lined bundt, spreading to form an even layer, before carving a little moat in the middle of the ring. Spoon in the peanut butter batter, before covering with the remaining chocolate batter, once again smoothing the top. Pop the bundt on a lined baking sheet and pop it in the oven to bake for 60-75 minutes, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean. Transfer to a wire rake to cool in the pan for ten minutes, before flipping and allowing to cool completely.
While the cake chills, get to work on the glazes. First, heat 60ml of the cream in a small pot and combine the remaining peanut butter with the icing sugar and a pinch of salt in a small bowl. Once simmering, pour the cream into the peanut butter and stir until combined.
Repeat the process with the remaining cream, this time pouring it over the chocolate in a separate bowl and stirring until it is melted and combined.
To decorate, transfer the cake to a baking sheet and spoon half the chocolate glaze over the top, allowing it to drip down the sides. Follow with half the peanut butter glaze, before repeating the process, swirling the glazes with a spoon to make it nice and pretty.
Allow the glaze to set for half an hour before carving and devouring, solo. While it’s namesake flies away from the island with no context.
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Previously on Global All Stars the top four took a back seat as the eliminated queens returned for the chance to be crowned the global lip sync assassin. Tragically, to only RuPaul songs. Two by two they battled off until only Soa and Gala remained. And while Gala continued to serve sex all over the stage – flooding all of the basements in the process – it was the iconic Soa who dominated, taking out the title. And most importantly, the $50k she so rightly deserved.
The next day the top four were primed and ready to compete for the crown, with Kween overwhelmed, hungry, horny and ready for the crown. No doubt because of Gala’s lip sync. Kitty was focused on the cash, ready to buy some wigs and go on holiday, while Nelly would like to help her family and make a difference. While Alyssa just mentioned she has been doing it for 23 years, which reminded Nelly that she is very old. Ru then dropped by to announce that for the final challenge of the season, the finalists would star in the music video for new drag anthem, Dance Like The World Is Watching. After writing and recording verses, and catching up over a tic tac lunch.
After Ru disappeared, the dolls split up to work through their lyrics with Kitty charmed by her own, Kween Kong was feeling like she was finally in her lane while Nelly was just bricking it about singing in English. Talk turned to the video clip with Alyssa opening up about loving performing with her kids at Beyond Belief and how she wants the choreo to be something they could do. She and Nelly spoke about how much they were looking forward to making their debut while Kween was just grateful to finally believe she deserves to be a finalist. Nelly started to break down, overwhelmed to be the last international queen standing and proud about how hard she has worked.
We pivoted to the tic tac lunches where Kitty opened up about feeling like she deserves to be here because she has had to fight hard to make it through every challenge. And that she is now ready for whatever is next in her career. She spoke about how much lip syncing lit a fire under her, never believing it whenever she heard that from other contestants. Nelly on the other hand was a ball of sweetness, hoping to be an inspiration for kids in Italy and proud to push through her nerves and self-doubt to make it to the end. Kween was so excited to have had a second chance at the competition, given she felt like the first season is what shaped her into the queen she is now. Before straight up bribing the judges with hand-made jewellery from her mum and aunties. Rounding out the chats was the one and only Alyssa Edwards and honestly, it felt like a victory lap. She admitted that she was worried that she would be competing against the judges expectations of what 23 years of experience should look like. Ru then started to break down calling her a star and yep, condragulations Alyssa, condragulations.
We pivoted to filming the TikTok numbers where Alyssa gave an OG Haus of Edwards dance, Kitty was keeping it simple, Nelly was hoping to challenge the children before Jamal helped remind Kween that she is a dancer, though the people at home are not, so she should keep it simple.
Coronation Day arrived with the top four splitting up to beat their mugs for the final time, with Alyssa giddy to have finally made it. Kween spoke about how shocked she is to be competing with Alyssa, while Kitty shared she would be happy with any of them winning. But happier for her, obvi. The eliminated queens then dropped by one final time, with Kween opening up to her sisters about how emotional she is given how far she has come since her first season. Nelly admitted that while she is an underdog for the crown, she is not going down without a fight before it all just became a love fest TBH.
Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by the iconic Ariadna Gutiérrez-Arévaloas the eliminated queens opened the Best Drag On Earth runway. Athena was absolutely stunning in a couture white gown and yeah, she ate as the sexiest jellyfish. Miranda was stunning in a vibrant blue feathered gown, Eva was a golden goddess phoenix, Soa was a gorgeous musketeer, Gala was a beautiful volcanic mess, Pythia was a glamorous three-headed dog, Vanity was a stunning, studded icon and Tessa looked like a pretty version of the ugly step-sisters. The top four then arrived to devour, with Alyssa giving a glamorous purple ruffled gown, giving all the leg. Kitty wore an ill-fitting pink vinyl gown inspired by Barbie, Kween gave Polynesian Princess and looked glorious, before Nelly closed the show in a sweet, puffy, lavender gown.
In the film clip, the inclusion of the Pit Crew made me super distracted but as usual, it was kinda cringe. Though they all did a solid job of the dancing, except for Kitty.
The judges heaped Alyssa with all of the praise, reminding her that she set the bar back in week one and has met it every one since. And she did the best at creating a dance that people would be able to mimic at home. Kitty was praised for how much she has grown and elevated since her first season, and for having fun in the video. Kween was praised for giving all the swag on the video, and for being so open and vulnerable throughout the entire season. And for doing her family proud with her kindness and the way she wants to help the next generation. Nelly meanwhile was encouraged to always believe in herself because she proved, week after week, that she is a star.
Ru then challenged the girls to answer why the world needs drag more than ever. Alyssa spoke about how she wanted to inspire queer small town kids to believe. Kitty spoke about the freedom that comes from self-expression and how it opened up her world and filled it with so much joy. Kween spoke about the fact it builds a safe world for people like us, while Nehellenia spoke about the power it has.
Backstage the dolls were shocked to have done all that they could to make it to the final lip sync, with Alyssa toasting them for being such incredible competition and being on the journey with her. Though admitted this was her time. The eliminated queens joined them, with Kween talking about being in tears all day, given how kind the judges have been. Nelly was thrilled to be strong enough to make it to the end, while Kitty spoke about how hard it is to hear all the compliments.
Before we got to the final lip sync, we learnt that the eliminated dolls had one final crown to win – Miss Congeniality. Now known as Miss Global Peacemaker, which once again went to Soa De Muse, earning her another $10k. And honestly, it is what she deserves. After pushing the eliminated quens off stage, Ru announced that everyone in the top four would be lip syncing for the crown, solo, and damn were Alyssa and Kween fired up for that crown. As soon as my girl Gaga’sBad Romance kicked off, they were spitting fire and hitting every line. While Kitty gave comedy and Nelly was busy stripping, it was clear the choreographers were desperate to win the crown. And win a crown one of them did, as the one and only, always and forever Alyssa Edwards was crowned. Leaving Down Under’s own Kween Kong to settle for being a double runner-up like her sister Hannah.
As she arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and congratulated her for making Australia and New Zealand proud. While she didn’t snatch the crown, she truly did dominate the season week after week – which is not something all of the finalist’s can say, despite placing in the top all season. She didn’t love me trash talking her sisters, but gave me her signature chuckle and thanked me for once again supporting her. I told her how great it was to see her so relaxed this season, and how it made her perform so much better. And more than earn a big, fat Kweensland Do(n)g.
While the name makes it sound super smutty, this is simply a hot dog. Which I guess is kinda smutty, but once again, I digress. The sticky, sweet chilli pineapple works perfectly with the smooth cream cheese and rich pork, warming your soul in the process.
Enjoy!
Kweensland Do(n)g Serves: 2-4.
Ingredients 1 tbsp olive oil 400g can sliced pineapple slices, juices drained and reserved ½ cup muscovado sugar 2 red chillis, trimmed and sliced 1 tbsp apple cider vinegar salt and pepper, to taste 4 hot dog rolls 4 thick pork sausages ½ cup cream cheese 2 shallots, sliced
Method Pop the oil in frying pan over medium heat and cook the pineapple for a few minutes each side, until nice and charred and caramel. Remove from the heat and roughly chop.
In the same pan, add the sugar and pineapple juice, and stir until the sugar dissolves. Increase heat, bring to the boil and simmer for 5 minutes, or until it thickens and is a rich caramel. Add the chilli and stir for a minute, before adding the pineapple and vinegar. Remove from the heat, season and set aside.
While the pineapple rests, cook the sausages a few minutes each side over medium heat or until cooked through.
To assemble, split the buns, smear with some cream cheese, top with the sausages and a good sprinkle of the chilli and the shallots. Then wrap your lips around it and go to town. Also known as devouring.
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Previously on Global All Stars the dolls had to partner up with their best Judy to share a cocktail. And by cocktail, switch supplies they had prepared prior to departing for the show and whip up a cocktail gown using their sisters’ goods. Obviously this created excellent television, as while Tessa lucked out and jagged a suitcase full of Alyssa’s finest, Nehellenia was pressed by the expensive fabrics supplied for her by Kitty. Which obviously didn’t sit well with Kitty. As could be expected, Tessa’s luck helped her pull out her first win as she put the luxe goods to exquisite use. Alyssa’s attempt with Tessa’s literal scraps somehow kept her out of the bottom, as poor Soa’s floppy edges and Gala’s gorgeous albeit very high-necked look landed them in the bottom. With the queen of my heart, Soa, tragically felled from the competition.
Backstage everyone was heartbroken to have lost Soa, particularly Kween, given she felt like Soa had become her older little sister. The eulogising didn’t last for long, however, as Alyssa turned the attention back to Gala, praising her for her stunning lip sync and now being the assassin of the season. As Gala and Vanity spoke about the need for them to rise to the top this week and cement their places in the competition, Alyssa praised Tessa for taking out the win and growing each and every week. With Tessa suggesting that Alyssa is now part of the Haus of Testicle, rather than her joining the Edwardses as she first thought. So it is now Alyssa Edballs, if you will.
The next day everyone did a quick win count, with Nehellenia and Gala disappointed to be the only dolls that haven’t cut through for a win yet. Gala opened up about the fact she almost quit last week due to the inner saboteur, with Kween once again jumping in and encouraging her to harness the voice to push herself, but to also know when to tell it to shut up. Like you would Tessa, for instance. As Gala broke down, Alyssa encouraged her to have the tears and feel what she needs to, but know that she is making her country proud.
Ru stopped the love fest to announce that they would be continuing the vibes by posing for profile pics for the queer male dating app Archer. Serving thirst trap quick drag. Kitty was a slutty Patsy Stone, Tessa was a literal blow-up doll, Nehellenia was delightfully demented, Gala was rich and stunning, Kween gave butch Beyonce, Pythia gave hairy Lisa Rinna while Alyssa was just glorious and gorgeous. Oh and then Vanity stole the show giving plumped perfection. Well, until she popped. Given Gala serves sex at all times, she rightly took home victory. The love didn’t stop there, though, as Ru announced that for this week’s maxi challenge they would be playing the Snatch Game of Love trying to win the hearts of Supremme’s boys, Los Javis.
After Ru exited, the dolls split up to talk through their characters while Vanity and Kween speculated who would struggle in the challenge. Both in agreement that Gala could run into problems, given she was in the bottom in her original season. While Alyssa tried to get her to remember all she needs to do it make Ru laugh, not to a killer impression. Just like that, Ru was summoned as Tessa shared that she would be playing Susanne Bartsch, Kween was considering doing the Rock OR an undisclosed mystery character. Nehellenia spoke about being nervous about the challenge, with Ru encouraging her to ignore the questions and just be fun. Alyssa was rocking Annie Oakley like All Stars 2, Vanity was planning to do the euphoric Loreen – much to Ru’s nerves – while Gala was planning to do Mexican icon Laura Leon. Pythia was going with Arnie despite Ru wanting her to play a Greek or Canadian icon, while Kitty was going to play Princess Di, may she rest in peace.
As is oft the case, Ru’s visit got a few of the queens in their heads with Pythia thinking about pivoting to Zeus. Despite the fact she would need to build a look from scratch and find the character in 10 minutes.
We pivoted to the Snatch Game of Love set where the first four dolls got ready to face off for Javier Calvo’s affection. Kween Kong as Kween Schlong, Gala was sticking with the drama of Laura Leon, Kitty stuck with Di and Nehellenia was cute as Valentino. Not to be confused with Valentina. Kween was surprisingly funny, poor Gala was one note after following Ru’s advice to lean into the telenovela and Nehellenia was on point. The first panel was owned by Kitty, however, playing glum Princess Di to perfection. Which was all it took to win Javi’s heart. Javier Ambrossi traded out with his husband as Vanity’s Loreen, Alyssa’s Annie, Tessa’s Susanne and Pythia’s frat-bro Zeus jumped in to fight for his affections. Alyssa was full Alyssa, Vanity was demented, Tessa was silly and fun, though in my opinion, this was Pythia’s panel, giving toxic masculinity perfection. Sadly though, Javi felt Alyssa deserved the win.
Oh and then the Javis made out, which was glorious.
Elimination Day arrived with Tessa disappointed to not own the challenge, though felt ok, given it is the hardest challenge. Alyssa meanwhile gushed over Pythia’s performance, particularly since she pulled it together in ten minutes. Vanity meanwhile was worried about the entirety of Sweden hating her. Meanwhile on the other side of the room Kitty opened up about sleeping with a fan, as Alyssa suggested they should have paid a booking fee given that is what they wanted. Vanity opened up about falling in love with her teenage crush and ugh, it is so sweet and I love everything about it. Kitty was not sure if she would end up with a DBE or be banned from returning home, as Pythia suggested she could actually be assassinated.
Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by Los Javis as Kween Kong opened the Eat Me runway serving Mother Hubbard does Pavlova. Gala was a gorgeous candy confection before stripping down and serving skin, so yeah, that’s a win. Kitty gave full English breakfast – aka a full geezer – Nehellenia was a Bowie-esque cassata, Vanity was a rotted Swedish Fish, Alyssa gave Barbie sundae, Tessa was a stunning swiss cheese while Pythia closed the show as a gorgeous spanakopita.
Kween and Alyssa were sent to safety backstage where Alyssa was gutted to once again be safe. Particularly since she was the snatchelor’s choice. Back on the mainstage, the judges read poor Gala for filth given she gave no jokes at all. Despite looking and sounding perfect. That being said, her runway was gorgeous. Particularly her body. Kitty on the other hand was praised for giving no-stop laughs during Snatch Game and looking stunning on the runway, Nehellenia was praised for picking a hilarious character and leaning into her strengths. And for being so versatile on the runway. Poor Vanity was read for filth for giving nothing more than a look on Snatch Game. Tessa was read for giving no character on Snatch Game, though she was praised for looking stunning. Albeit a bit cheesy. Pythia, meanwhile, was beloved for being so stupid on Snatch Game. To quote Michelle, she was fucking brilliant, pacifically. And once again looking perfect on the runway. Despite the wig, IMO.
Backstage Pythia was on cloud nine after her stunning critiques, with Tessa saying she got the best of the season. Despite Kitty being equally beloved. Talk turned to the bottoms with Gala and Vanity confident it would be them, with Tessa hoping she had done enough to skate by another week. Before poor Vanity suggested that she is just a boring queen, with her sisters assuring her that she is funny.
Ultimately Kitty snuck away with the win as Pythia was deemed only safe – robbery – alongside Nehellenia. While Gala and Vanity were set through to the lip sync, Tessa slid by just as she hoped. I then thought it was a Drag Race France 1 music rights situation, as The Muppets’ Mah Na Mah Na kicked off for the lip sync, but alas it was real. And given there was no possible way to make it sexy, Vanity owned the show, giving equal parts stupid and attitude. And while Gala put in a valiant effort, her run of luck ran out as she sadly exited the competition.
Inspired by Ru’s now questionable advice, I leant into the telenovela drama of Gala’s exit. As she walked off stage, I pulled her in for a passionate embrace, and dramatically assured her that she is a star. Whether she wins a crown or not. Because, dun dun DUN, she won my heart, my loins and a glorious Hamburgala Varo Steak.
Hamburg steaks are one of my favourite dishes from Japan. They are so homey and cute, but mostly unexpected. In no small part thanks to the tart wine glaze and the gloriously smooth cheese.
Enjoy!
Hamburgala Varo Steak Serves: 2 dear friends or lovers.
Ingredients olive oil 1 onion, diced 500g beef mince 250g pork mince ¾ cup panko breadcrumbs 1 large egg 3 tbsp milk 2 tbsp soy sauce 200g cream cheese, cut into 8 cubes ¼ cup beef stock ¼ cup water 2 tbsp unsalted butter ½ cup red wine 3 tbsp ketchup ¼ cup Worcestershire sauce
Method Heat a good lug of oil in a frying pan over medium heat and cook for 5 minutes, or until sweet and soft. Transfer to a large mixing bowl and allow to cool for about 10 minutes. Add the minces, breadcrumbs, egg, milk and soy, along with a good whack of salt and pepper. Scrunch with your hands until well combined before dividing into 8 patties. Make a dent in each pattie, fill with the cheese and close to seal it in similar to how you would a Juicy Lucy Liu. Pop on a lined plate and pop in the fridge to set for about half an hour.
In the same frying pan, heat a little more oil over medium heat and once scorching, add the patties and gently flatten with a spatula. Cook for a few minutes before slipping and cooking for a further few minutes. Add the beef stock and water, pop on a lid and let it steam for another five minutes to cook through but keep nice and juicy.
Once cooked through, remove the patties from the pan to rest. With the pan still on, add the butter, red wine, ketchup and Worcestershire and simmer for 2 minutes, or until rich and glossy. Serve the patties immediately with some rice, green and a generous drizzle of the sauce. And devour, ravenously.
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Previously on Drag Race, hang on, hold the phone Mabel – where have we been?! We missed Nymphia snag a crown on the mothership and *checks notes/the edit* Lemon get her non-Ru rudemption on Canada vs the World 2, but we’re back for a farewell tour? Well, the answer is yes. Because if Ru is going to assemble a single iconic queen from 12 franchises around the world, well I am seated. Or in the words of Ru, my pussy, like the world’s, is about to be set on fire. Exactly like my girls Lady Gaga and Celine did in Paris for the Olympics.
But that is the other opening ceremony, and I’ve digressed.
Forgoing entries into the Werk Room, the dolls went straight to the mainstage to met with Ru, Michelle and Jamal. And first to strut the runway in her Opening Ceremony Extravaganza Eleganza was Athena Likis from Drag Race Belgique serving sexy milk maid and sassing Ru for being old. Miranda Lebrão from Brasil was silly and living her best life while simultaneously giving Sasha Velour. And requesting four vaginas. Canada’s Pythia – the icon herself – arrived ready to cluck outside the box. Kween Kong chuckled her way onto the international stage ready to do Jamal, which is relatable. Soa de Muse gave burlesque and continued to charm through acting and lip syncing all the way from France, in the hope that Jamal fucks her. Nehellenia gave sweet, space glamazonian and ugh, I love her. Germany’s Tessa Testicle was a shimmering floral delight ready to marry Michelle, proving she is smart.
And has balls. Geddit? Well, one. I’ll show myself out.
Gala Varo joined us from Mexico looking stunning and ready to serve sex. Eva Le Queen from Philippines – Marina’s sister – packed her lip gloss and was ready for a crown. Alex’s bestie Vanity Vain arrived serving forest moose, representing Sweden. Kitty Scott-Claus scratched her way back onto the teev, ready to camp it up to the end before Alyssa arrived and reminded us that always and forever, she is an icon and is hands down the one to beat.
All twelve returned to the stage for their official welcome into the competition, and learnt that not only will the winner head to Daytona Beach to inaugurate the international pavilion of the Hall of Fame, but they’d also score a cheeky $200K. US dollars. Which is honestly sickening, no? Better yet, nobody would be going home this week, in the spirit of world peace. Just like the Olympics proper. Athena, Miranda, Kween, Soa, Kitty and Alyssa were then called forward as the first contestants in the two-part Global Glamazon Talent Extravaganza, while the other dolls would just watch on from the sidelines and take a little wander down the runway.
Finally, we entered the global Werk Room where the dolls were gagged by how stunning it was. Kween was quick to welcome Alyssa back, while she looked at herself in the mirror as she greeted her international sisters, who were all rightly delighted to be amongst greatness. We then got a flashback to Alyssa’s first two iconic seasons, with her admitting she is ready to snatch the crown on her third time, knowing exactly what Ru and Michelle expect from her. As Kitty and Kween helped her de-drag, she met her new sister Tessa Testicle. Noting it is singular, in honour of her torsion.
Tessa then caught up with Soa and Athena to talk about how sexy Jamal is, which again, duh. Athena then moved on to Pythia, with the Greek duo excited to go from touring together to competing. We then learnt how Athena became an icon in her first season, ready to go from runner-up to the winning ambassador from Belgium. Miranda, Pythia and Eva meanwhile spoke about how weird it was to be in front of Ru, though questioned how much of an advantage Kitty, Kween and Alyssa have from already being known entities. Before Kitty broke the wardrobe, ruling her out from winning, given she cost Ru money.
Dia de Talent Show Part Une arrived with the performers splitting off to beat their mugs, as those who stupidly slept on France got to learn who Soa is. And who she is, my friends, is my favourite and I hope she is winning the crown. Kitty meanwhile told Gala and Nehellenia how excited she was to perform her talent before we were reminded that Ella was robbed in UK Season 3, though Kitty well and truly deserved her place at the end. Gamed out or not. Miranda meanwhile was busy opening up to Alyssa about how nervous she is to perform, with Alyssa agreeing that she is terrified to make her debut as she desperately wants Ru to see that she has applied herself. While Miranda explained she was nervous actually just nervous as she is doing something kinda dangerous. We then learnt that she made it all the way to the end of Brasil Season 1 and damn, she looks like an icon.
Kitty then got thirsty, leading the dolls in decreeing Gala the trade of the season. Which adds nothing, but is very important.
Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by Adriana Lima as Kween opened up the show with an iconic dance performance to her original song where she straight up lifted one of the back-up dancers and carried him around on her shoulders. Then, THEN, used leaf blowers as a wind machine and sassed them out for being colonisers. So crown her. Miranda was hilariously stupid before she jumped on a trapeze and while it was absolutely iconic, I was also so anxious about her falling, I couldn’t enjoy it as she flipped her sisters off. Plus, Ru looked scared about how much she’d have to pay her if she fell and cracked her skull, so we know she isn’t winning the challenge.
Kitty then sang live and damn, she has the pipes but the audio is kinda a flop this episode, no? But looking at the back-up dancer’s midriffs, I am anything but. Athena gave camp burlesque baby, complete with windmill nipple tassels. And wacky, waving inflatable arm Michelles. Soa too sang live and ugh, I love her so damn much. She was sultry, moody and Ru, please give her the flowers she so rightly deserves. Speaking of flowers, Alyssa gave a jazzercise lip sync performance and she just knows why she was invited back and this already feels like a victory lap. As she was a star. And so stupid. Which is just what we want from her.
On the Garden of Eden runway, Athena was stunning as a bound Eve, complete with apple in her mouth. Miranda was eaten by a snake and so beautiful, Pythia was a rotten apple – right to the core, right – Kween went with tree of life realness, Soa gave Lilith and was stun. Tessa gave neon bondage as she ate the apple, Nehellenia went from angel to devil and ugh, she is fun. Gala gave them original sin, tempting the judges in addition to her sisters. Eva went with the colourful version of the tree of life, Vanity gave the street-snake to Voldemort pipeline before Kitty showed her rosebud. Alyssa then stole the show in a shimmering garden-green beast of a gown.
Ru then announced that this week’s top two would lip sync for the win and a $10K cash tip. After sending the other dolls backstage, the judges lavished Athena with praise for being silly and fun in the show and looking gorgeous on the runway. Miranda is clearly a fave of Ru’s, from the stunning runway to the difficult madness of runway trapeze. Kween was praised for kicking the opening in the dick – thanks Hannah – and slaying the talent show, and looking moody on the runway. Soa’s runway received wall to wall praise, as did her cabaret performance. Kitty was praised for being fun and charismatic, before Alyssa got all of the praise, from her perfect talent to her glorious runway. Making Ru hold back tears – or pretend to – as she told Alyssa how proud of her she is.
Backstage Nehellenia was talking about how nervous she is to perform next week, given they have a lot to live up to, as they praised everyone for a job well done. The performers joined their sisters, talking about how great their feedback was. Everyone agreed Alyssa will definitely be in the top, with Alyssa thinking that Miranda will be joining her, on account of how challenging her performance was. Miranda then opened up about how she suffered from burns as a child which will lead to muscle wasting as she ages, and how the performance was a farewell, given she will likely lose the skill and ugh, I’m crying.
The dolls returned to the mainstage where Ru announced that it would be our very own Kween Kong that would face off against Alyssa for the win. And, yeah, we know this is going to be quite the lip sync. As soon as Rhianna’s Only Girl in the World kicked off, the dolls were fire. And yeah, it felt good to see Alyssa killing a lip sync again in 2024. She hit every lyric and every line, while Kween reminded us why she is considered the lip syncing assassin of Down Under, barrel rolling mid-air once again, overshadowing an Alyssa death drop in the process, before they finished hand in hand. Which rightly earned them both the win, splitting $10K in the process.
Backstage the dolls were gagged that Kween and Alysssa shared the win, while the duo were just excited to have a seat in the peanut gallery for the next week and relax and watch their sisters dominate.
The next day Eva was looking forward to getting the chance to show off her talent, while Vanity was pumped to redeem herself, given she bombed her first season. We then learnt more about Tessa who may not have had the longest run, but her mirror message was just her smooshing her bum on the mirror, so she is an icon. Plus, she is desperate to be adopted by Alyssa, so I love her. Gala opened up about doing pole dancing for her talent, with Kween valiantly volunteering to be the pole, should it be needed. Nehellenia admitted that she is very nervous about the talent show, given she was never in the bottom in her season of Italia. And she worried she wouldn’t be able to keep the streak going.
Ru dropped by to kiki with her daughters, by way of a little photoshoot for the cover of Quick Drag Magazine. Obviously the Werk Room descended into chaos with everyone hoping to avoid looking like a BEAST while slapping on their quick drag. They got in a soul train line for the zaddy pit crew member who was playing the photographer, with Pythia cute and fun, Kween was an absolute mess, Eva gave middle aged drunk, Alyssa served stoopid, Miranda was wacky, Gala gave arse – swoon – Kitty gave drunk Geri Halliwell, Vanity gave gogo cutie, Athena gave straight up cartwheels, Nehellenia served actual dancing diva, Soa was hilarious and Tessa rocked titty balls before Ru stopped the line, for the sake of dignity. Given she was actually a stunning dancer, it was Nehellenia who took out the win and earned herself $2,500 in the process.
After Ru disappeared, Kween dropped by to congratulate Nehellenia for being an absolute icon in the mini challenge. Alyssa meanwhile went to kiki with Gala who we learnt was an actual professor and met his deceased husband at an Alyssa Edwards show and ugh, I am crying again. Alyssa then moved on to give Nehellenia a pep talk about believing in herself before she opened up about her journey with her father, who went from someone that didn’t want little Nehellenia to dance to being her biggest supporter and best friend. Vanity meanwhile opened up about being a lone wolf in Sweden without a drag family, though admitted she was ready to show off her stunning singing voice. And hopefully not her temper, unlike last season.
Performance day arrived with Pythia realising this is literally the last time they will all be safe. Eva spoke about how hungry she is for a win, given she made it to the end of her original season without claiming one. Kinda like Cheryl, you know? Tessa meanwhile was just hoping to show that she was stupid and flexible in her talent show, while Alyssa opened up to her sisters about how she never went on a plane until she started doing drag. Talk turned to the diversity of the drag scenes, with Kween opening up about how Australia is super homogenised – because it is – and that she is so grateful to be among her new sisters and is able to find that universal language together.
When it came to Talent Show 2: Back in the Habit, Ru, Michelle and Jamal were joined on the panel by Danna as Pythia opened up the talent show with a demented clown bedtime story. Finishing by literally pulling a crown out of her bum. Nehellenia then slayed, singing an original song and dancing, live, and um, is this a new frontrunner emerging? Tessa then gave a comedy burlesque number, and given she continued to add Pit Crew members throughout the song, I live. Even if Kitty didn’t. Eva then taught us how to cook rice in a rice cooker before stripping down and sword fighting the Pit Crew and then slayed an inflatable dragon. Sooooo, crown her now, ploise. I mean, she finished screaming SON OF A BITCH, when she learnt the rice cooker was unplugged. So stupid. Gala then served all of the sex in her pole dance, while all of her sisters marvelled at how hot she is. Vanity then closed the show with a live performance and oh god, please don’t punish her for being a good singer Ru, because this was good.
On the Money Makes the World Go Round runway – local currency edition – Nehellenia gave a camp mille into euro barbie and ugh, I love it. Tessa gave coin warrior , Kitty was a shimmering delight, dripping in pounds. Pythia served Lady Britannia realness, Kween was a golden glamazon, Alyssa was the expensive version of Kween’s look, Eva went from piggy bank to a shimmering delight, Gala gave bohemian peso diva, Athena was a delight in silver chainmail, Soa gave historic finances in shell before Vanity was perfection giving krona realness and Miranda closed the show giving golden animal.
Nehellenia received wall to wall praise for her talent show, and they loved how fun her outfit was on the runway. While Tessa’s performance was messy, they loved that it was meant to be, while Ru was delighted by her look. Pythia was praised for thinking outside of the box, gagging Michelle that she literally makes all of her outfits. Eva was praised for being absolutely demented and looking gorgeous, and Gala was beloved for being so sexy and focussing on all the details. While Vanity was absolutely adored for all that she gave, particularly since her song was a bop.
Backstage the viewer dolls were proud of their runways and rather confident theirs was the better talent show, with all of them agreeing Eva, Gala and Vanity were the standouts. And they were kinda ready for Tessa to go. The other queens joined them to talk through their critiques, with all of them still mainly just shocked to be in Ru’s presence. Returning to the mainstage, it was ultimately Eva and Vanity were deemed the top two of the week, and lined up to lip sync for the win to Danna’s Paranoia. And yeah, it was a slay from both of the dolls. Eva was polished and turned a show, while Vanity was frankly captivating, leaning into the emotion as she hit every lyric. And while both were strong, it was Vanity that took out her first win of the season
Given Kitty was feeling it was high time to send some dolls home, I decided to pull her aside and remind her that while she knows how good it is to receive culinary comfort from moi, not all of her sisters have experienced that same luck, so be respectful of their nerves. Plus, nobody went home for two episodes, so I had to choose someone to celebrate early and as such, it was her. And I was kinda, sorta craving a big fat piece of Nutella Biskitty Scott-Clauscake Bars.
Biscoff has been having her moment for the last 5 years or so, and if every little treat you can make with it tastes this good, I am cool with her taking the mantle from nutella. These little bars are sticky, spicy and oh so sweet, though like Kitty’s humour, pack a little bite. And I love it.
Method Combine 200g of the crushed biscuits with the melted butter, stirring until well combined. Press into a square cake tin to form a base, and pop in the fridge to chill while you prepare the filling.
Equally as easy, pop the cream cheese in the bowl of a stand mixer with the icing sugar, nutella and 100g of the biscoff spread, and beat with the paddle attachment on medium for a couple of minutes, or until well combined. Pour on top of the base, smooth out the top and return the cake to the fridge.
Finally, melt the remaining biscoff and pour over the filling and smooth out. Sprinkling the top with the remaining biscuits crumb however inspires you creatively. I went with a pole, in honour of Gala, obviously.
Return the cake to the fridge and allow to set for at least four hours before carving into bars and devouring, to distract yourself from Gala and the zaddy Pit Crew member, pacifically.
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Previously on Survivor, after three long, losing weeks, the last Lulu’s caught a break as two of them were guaranteed to avoid the next tribal council. Because, yes, for the first time in the new era, Jeffrey switched up the tribes. And fate opted to keep things spicy for them, splitting them out across the new tribes. Emily got lucky as the swing vote between Austin and Drew, and Kendra and Brando on the new Belo. Kaleb meanwhile was stuck with the rest of the Belos on Lulu, leaving Sean with the rest of Reba on new Reba. After they lost the immunity challenge, the girls were ready to loop Sean in to blindside Sifu however at tribal council, Sean delivered the ultimate blindside by engineering a quit and bouncing out of the game. While Dee, for reasons, still voted for Sifu.
Back at camp Sifu was, in a word, pissed. Reba sat around the fire in silence until he admitted it was a massive surprise to see his name come up and while the girls didn’t want to talk about it, they eventually tried to pass it off as Sean’s vote. Sadly for them, Sean’s parting gift was to tell Sifu he did not vote for him and just like that, he cursed our queens to a rocky road to merge. Which is very un-queer of him, as us gay men should all be stanning this trio as our potential final three.
The next day we checked in with Belo where everyone was hungry, lethargic and talking about the food they would love to be snacking on. Instead of chocolate, chilli, chicken and peanut butter, Kendra found a worm and despite feeling torn – as a Libra – tried to eat it for some protein. Instead she choked on it and spat it out. Drew meanwhile was living for her energy, given she is silly, charming and keeping their spirits up.
Over at Lulu, Jake tried to keep spirits up by playing his gut as a bongo. Sadly, though, when he stood up he passed out again and ugh, this is not fun to watch. Jake meanwhile was frustrated that it kept happening and feared he would get pulled from the game. Thankfully Kellie assured him it is just that he is standing up too fast when they are starving and seeing her kindness was lovely. As was Jake opening up about overcoming an eating disorder to be here and ugh, I guess I now love Jake?
After perking up, Jake and Kaleb went for a wander to get water, Kellie and Bruce disappeared, leaving Katurah by herself. And like any worthy survivor, she immediately went hunting for idols. Sadly for her, everyone returned to camp at the same time and spotted her, and while she tried to downplay it, everyone decided she was too much of a risk to take any further. Except for Kaleb, who continues to be an icon. Though given he is aligned with everyone but Kellie, maybe Katurah isn’t as safe as I’d like. Knowing Kellie was the key to lasting longer, Kaleb approached her about forming a tight alliance. And yeah, I love him.
Back at Reba the girls were still angry, rightfully, about Sean outing them to Sifu, wishing he had just had the backbone to quit, rather than making them go through the process. We then got a beautiful moment from Dee, who opened up about her family immigrating from Cuba and I’m not sure if it is just me, but this is a winner’s edit. But back to the Sifu of it all, as the women are right to be pissed at Sean, as Sifu opened up about being a volcano ready to explode. And that he will use a fake idol he fashioned to spook the women into keeping him safe. He then caught up with Julie and J, teaching them about tai chi and pushing people, and yeah, he is an-gry.
Returning to Belo, Kendra continued to burp and entertain the people, except for Brando, who felt like out of the people on OG Belo, she was the one he had the least in common with. Thankfully for him, he found a fellow nerd in the form of Drew. After bonding over pokemon, Brando floated the idea of a nerd alliance, however Drew continued to be an icon, and told him it just doesn’t feel like a good idea, given Belo have the upper hand. Reading that as the threat it was, Brando went to bond with Kendra and the duo agreed the focus needed to be on aligning with Emily. Sadly for them, Emily had already been courted by the Rebas and TBH, I love this power position for her.
Back at Lulu, Katurah was delighting in Bruce continuing to Bruce, given he is making himself a target. Well, at least in her eyes. Luckily for her, as my fave, he was too much and everyone started to join her in rolling their eyes. Though Kaleb for one is playing it smart, trying to keep him close so that when he makes a move against him, Bruce does not see it coming.
Over at Reba, J told the girls they need to downplay their closeness, offering to go to Sifu and admit that she was the one to cast a vote against him. So that they lull him into a false sense of security, and then strike. Sadly for J, though, Dee decided that maybe it is just easier to vote J instead when they go back to tribal council. Once again though, Julie cautioned it wasn’t a great idea.
The tribes finally caught up with Jeffrey for immunity where they would race through an obstacle course to collect keys, unlock a hook and use it to collect sandbags and then shoot said sandbags and targets with the first two to knock them out jagging immunity. And a glorious or basic seafood basket. Kaleb got Lulu out to an early lead with Kendra and Sifu nipping at his heels. J closed the gap for Reba and got them out in front before Bruce snatched it back for Lulu. Julie then found the right key on her first go, allowing her to release the sandbags well ahead of the other tribes as J was first to take out a target. Lulu joined in the fun as Dee knocked out Reba’s second target. Lulu knocked out their first target before Sifu snatched immunity for Reba as Katurah took out Lulu’s second target and Kaleb their third, handing Lulu immunity and sending Belo to tribal council.
Oh and this week, there would also be a little journey and since Reba won, they got to decide who would go. J won the rock off for Reba, before sending Kellie to make up for missing out on competing and then Austin, given he may be able to give them information in the game. Much to his frustration.
Back at camp Kendra was in her feels, nervous about potentially going home. The group then opted to take a respectful approach to scrambling, so paired off one at a time to pitch their cases, with Brando and Kendra keen to target Drew with Emily, while Brando tried to convince Drew that he would hand over his Shot in the Dark if he would cast his vote for Kendra, rather than him. Sadly it all started to fall apart for Brando when Emily and Drew caught up and they compared notes, and while Brando tried to throw Drew under the bus when he caught up with Emily, I still feel like Emily is more likely to stick with Reba.
Over at Journey Island, the trio were delighted to bond as they hiked up the mountain before they came to the pinnacle to discover their choice: sandwiches or an amulet each, which they would need to work together to use. A single amulet being an idol, two a steal a vote and all three would act as an extra vote. Austin was hungry, and knew the amulets were kinda shit as it just paints a target on his back, so voted for sandwiches, while J was firm in wanting an amulet. Forcing Kellie to break the tie, ultimately siding with J as the trio locked in an alliance to work together until the top seven. Whether Austin was interested or not, who secretly wants to get rid of them ASAP.
Returning to Belo, Emily and Drew caught up about the Kendra vote with Drew firm that it was never his idea. Emily, like an icon, told him that she doesn’t actually trust that is the truth, and while he tried to assure her that he is innocent, I’m not sure it is enough. Austin returned and bitched about missing out on sandwiches, though pretend they had to do a challenge to get an advantage. And failed. After Austin filled Drew in on the truth, Drew shared that the OG Belos are coming for him. Austin and Emily caught up, with Austin quickly assuring her that Drew is not lying to her. Particularly after he shared his newest advantage with her, highlighting that he and Drew are trusting and open with her in general.
At tribal council Brando spoke about how excited he was to finally be at tribal council, despite what it symbolises. Emily spoke about being numb to it at this point, ready for a break. Brando spoke about how powerful he thinks new Belo can be, given they’re the only tribe with connections across each of the original tribes. Drew tried to point out that more relationships mean he can’t trust he has a place in everyone’s games, while Kendra admitted she just worried about where the truth was in all of their actions. Giving off big Drew Barrymore energy in the process. Emily spoke about the importance of just surviving each and every vote – like Sandy D – while Austin admitted strength isn’t important to him, just loyalty. Which Drew agreed with, given the merge is imminent and that is where the battle would become a problem. Emily meanwhile ran the numbers and wanted to figure out the best strategy to take her to the end game.
With that, the tribe voted – Austin sacrificing and reinstating his vote to extend the life of his idol to the merge – before Emily opted to stick with the Rebas as Brando was booted from the game. As he arrived at Loser Lodge I pulled him in for a hug and told him to hold his head up high. I mean, nerd on nerd crime is hard to take (as is all intra-community trauma) but Drew has proven to be quite the enigma, giving dude bro and nerd as needed. And while that isn’t the most reassuring thing for Brando to hear, smashing a Brando Meyer Lemon & Blueberry Donut sure worked.
While you don’t technically need to use a Meyer lemon, they do have a nice sweetness to cut through the tart blueberry. But TBH, who really cares if it is a little tart when it comes in the form of a donut.
Method Cook the donuts per Tate’s recipe and once they have cooled slightly, toss through the sugar to coat.
Pop the cream cheese and curd in a stand mixer and beat with a paddle attachment until well combined.
Pipe each donut with the lemon mixture, leaving a dollop on top. Pop a little spoon of blueberry jam on top. And then, devour.
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Previously on All Stars, Ru assembled 12 queens in need of some form of redemption, either for themselves or in the eyes of the fandom. And well, they came to race! Well, except for Jimbo, of course, who was frank about the fact she solely came to cruise. One by one the dolls were eliminated – or quit, we miss you Heidi! – before Kandy booked her place in her second top two alongside the iconic, cruising Canadian import, Jimbo. Friends from the start, the duo were thrilled to have made it to the end together to compete for the crown. Only to be put on pause for a week – as many a housewife has claimed (love you Dorinda!) – as the eliminated queens returned and performed in talent show to enhance their Fame Games vote. Ultimately it was Jaymes and Lala that slayed both the performances and the lip sync, earning Jaymes a vote double while Lala likely won herself the secondary crown after trebling her score.
Backstage the duo were well and truly feeling their oats, Jaymes in particular, given it also acted as her first ever win across her seasons. Being congenial – one of Lala’s other titles – the duo praised their sisters for turning a show before celebrating that it kinda means they are one step closer to $60k. Talk then turned to the actual top two of the season though, with everyone praising them for making it to the end and being stellar representatives of the season and ugh, it has been a long season, but I love seeing the dolls all celebrating each other and their different styles of drag.
The next day the entire cast returned again, where Lala showed off the filthy Spanish that Monica had kindly taught her. Kandy then tried to trick the girls into believing she and Jimbo were actually the ones that picked the top two for the talent show, but could barely get it out without giggling. After Darienne and MKD reiterated how fun Jaymes’ performance was, Naysha jumped in to point out she liked it, but thought others were better. Which left us the shot of Jaymes looking like Ralph Wiggum when Lisa broke his heart. Before she could break Jaymes any further, Ru dropped by to focus the dolls on the final challenge, where Jimbo and Kandy would have to perform original solo numbers on the mainstage. With full choreography, obviously filling Jimbo with dread.
After a tic tac luncheon with Ru and Michelle of course!
Up first was Ru’s favourite Canadian – did I lie? – with Ru and Michelle absolutely gushing over how much they love her. Jimbo opened up about growing up the child of alcoholics before her mother got sober and moved herself and the kids out of the house, and how it shaped her into becoming the silly, happy clown that we love. She spoke about how much winning would mean to her, as it would make her a beacon for weird kids all over the world. Kandy meanwhile admitted she had been super nervous about coming back, but how grateful she is to have come back and grown as much as she did. She admitted she relied on friends to make it through the competition, because she is ready for the crown damn it, and she knows she deserves it. And seeing her breakdown about how much she wants it, I feel bad, because it still feels like this is leading to the (rightful) Jimbo victory.
Meanwhile backstage the eliminated queens were sticking their hand in Ru’s big, pink box and giggled through a quiz before MKD won $1k and gifted some to Monica. This sent off a gold rush as they all pulled cards earning tips and holidays and I live, I guess.
Everyone came together to meet with Miguel Zarate and learn the choreography, so you know Jimbo was already bricking it. Thankfully Kandy was first up, reminding us she has been both in the bottom and won a rusical under Miguel’s guidance, so she hoped to err more towards victory for their latest dalliance. She appeared to be having fun though, giving sex and sass and living her best life. Jimbo meanwhile may not be the best dancer, but you best believe she was focused as hell and had so much heart, that she just may pull it off. I guess proving that grit and determination can take you all the way.
Coronation Day arrived with Kandy and Jimbo hoping to focus on celebrating their runs, rather than putting too much pressure on themselves. Darienne meanwhile jumped in on the love, telling them how excited she was to see them do battle and star. After a brief Sunday Riley commercial – CEO glow is great, so Jimbo was not lying – the dolls started talking about the tic tac luncheon with Kandy excited that Ru said she was her biggest fan. Which obviously made Jimbo nervous, given she didn’t get that feedback. Thankfully though, she focused on sewing a special outfit for the lip sync to give everyone a little surprise. Which I obviously hope is a Shirley Temple ruveal.
The rest of the dolls were busy kiki-ing, with Jaymes talking about not realising how much she wanted to win something, Jessica thrilled to have snatched some coin before Kandy was gagged about the eliminated queens winning money from Ru’s box. Alexis meanwhile tried to get everyone in their feels, with everyone gushing over their sisterhood and it was sweet, sweet filler.
We finally ventured to the mainstage where it was family only as Ru, Michelle, Carson and the hilarious Ross Mathews took their places on the panel. Before one final bit of filler as Ru performed ASMR Lover, sadly with long shorts on the back-up dancers, rather than the booty kind we all love. Eventually it was time for Jimbo to perform her delightfully camp number I Remember Being Born and while Jimbo wasn’t confident during rehearsal, she sold the hell out of it, leaning into all the stupid and fun and I live for every moment of it. Kandy’s Pay Me with Money was just as perfect for our finalist – and had back-up dancers in speedos! She was living her Gaga fantasy and proved to her lingering haters that she is nothing short of a star. We also got an epic gospel interlude with the entire cast and well, it was great so i’ll let this filler stay.
On the Finale Fabulosity runway Monica slayed in a regal, puffy, purple gown with a perfect mug. Naysha followed it up with an architectural blush and blue gown, MKD was a black and white stunning old dame, Darienne shone in a lime and black nude illusion while Jaymes gave dra-MA in an orange showgirl number. And it was PERFECT. Kahanna gave sunflower goddess realness, complete with a mirror cape – stunning – while Lala lived in a red, rosy number. Alexis served classic drama in a red satin gown, while Jessica looked so rich in a pretty, perfect pink gown. When it came to the finalists, Jimbo served as a sexy rocker demon queen – it was good – while Kandy looked stunning in a yellow feathered gown.
The top two took their places on the stage as the judges lavished Jimbo with praise for literally all that she did, including in the final performance as she committed to the story and stole the show. And as always, gave them something that only she could. Jimbo in turn thanked the judges for importing her from Canada by way of the UK, and letting her shine on drag’s biggest stage. They lived for how much Kandy grew between her seasons and for always knowing who she is, and committing. Kandy spoke about how she left it all on the floor for a chance to win the crown, before praising all the dolls for offering hope for the queer community.
Backstage the dolls joined together to toast their missing sister Heidi before Jimbo thanked them for how much they helped her and Kandy get to where they are. We then got an extra 20 minutes of sister on sister love and while it was lovely, let’s not waste any additional time on filler, ok?
The eliminated queens were wheeled out first to learn who would take out the Fame Games, with Lala hilariously earning yet another title. They were quickly wiped off stage as Jimbo and Kandy made their returns looking sparkly and bright, and of course, ready to ruveal. As soon as Do You Wanna Funk? kicked off, both of the dolls came out strong. Jimbo was silly and camp and had titties bouncing all over the stage – front and back – while Kandy was fierce and focused. Sadly though, that could only take her so far, as Jimbo’s massive titties and titty-buns shook her all the way to a very deserving crown, leaving Kandy to join Raven as a dual runner-up (which is impressive).
As the confetti settled, I snuck backstage and as soon as I saw Jimbo’s breastplate turn the corner, I pulled her in for a massive hug and congratulated her on a very deserving victory. I mean, from the very first moment she stepped into the Werk Room, it was clear that she had levelled up from her already sickening turn in UK vs the World and it was highly unlikely anyone would catch her. And week after week, she proved they couldn’t. Always on brand, always entertaining and constantly radiating joy, she learnt from her first two runs and applied them into a dominant performance that made sure she was the only possible victor. And that alone is worthy of the recipe of the season, a White Chocolate and Jimboconut Bundt.
This is one of those cakes that just screams winner. A copycat of the cake Tom Cruise sends to his friends at Christmas – I assume the only reason non-Scientologists answer his calls – it is so decadent and delightful. Just like Jimbo.
Enjoy!
White Chocolate and Jimboconut Bundt Serves: 6-8.
Ingredients 300g unsalted butter at room temperature, plus excess for the pan 3 cups flour, plus excess for the pan ¾ tsp kosher salt ½ tsp baking powder 3 cups raw caster sugar 6 eggs, at room temperature 2 tsp vanilla extract 1 tsp coconut extract 1 cup sour cream 3 ½ cups shredded coconut 1 cup white chocolate, finely chopped 115g cream cheese, at room temperature 2 cups icing sugar 2 tbsp double cream
Method Preheat the oven 180C, and grease and flour a 10-inch bundt pan. Combine the flour, ½ tsp of the salt and baking powder in a large bowl.
Meanwhile in a stand mixer, cream 240g of the butter and raw caster sugar in a bowl on medium for about 5 minutes, or until light and fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time, waiting until the mixture comes back together until it comes together. Next, beat in half the vanilla extract, the coconut extract and sour cream until just combined. Remove from the mixer and fold through the flour mixture, 2 cups of the coconut and the white chocolate. Pour the batter into the bundt, pop it on a baking sheet and into the oven to cook for about 90 minutes, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean. Allow to cool in the pan for 20 minutes, before removing to a wire rack to cool completely.
Toast the remaining coconut in a dry saucepan until golden. Remove from the heat to cool.
Once the victorious cake is nearly completely cool, combine the cream cheese, remaining butter, vanilla extract and salt in a stand mixer and beat on medium for a couple of minutes or until smooth. Reduce to low and add the icing sugar, half a cup at a time, followed by the cream and beat until smooth.
Smooth the icing over the bundt and press with the toasted coconut to cover. Then slice, serve and devour. Because mama, we’re all hungry.
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Previously on Drag Race España – well, before everyone returned for a cheeky reunion, that is – the dolls were tasked with turning cleaning employees, into drag Cinderellas in the annual makeover challenge. For winning the previous challenge, Pitita was able to pair up the dolls with their new sisters and given she is the clear frontrunner, opted to keep things rather fair. As such, everyone did a solid job, though Hornella was read for giving no story, while the judges felt like Clover fell into the trap of only dolling herself up and leaving her sister as the ugly step-sister. Vania meanwhile received wall to wall praise and snatched the final victory of the season while Pitita and Kelly joined her in the finale, leaving Hornella to earn her spot by sending Clover home.
Backstage the top four were gagged to officially have made it to the end, none more so than Hornella who felt like she had snuck in despite not having any wins under her belt. After toasting to Clover, Hornella praised her sisters for being so sickening, proud to have made it to the end with them. After they sat down they kept the mood jubilant, celebrating being finalists while it should be obvious to everyone involved that this is Pitita’s season and they’re just living in it.
The next day the dolls were feeling equally part silly and focused, reflecting on their journey from being in the same girl group before making it all the way to the end. Supremme dropped by to stop the reflection and after reminding the dolls of the prizes on offer, announced that their final maxi challenge would see them star in her new film clip, in adission to writing and recording a verse. Oh and kiki on her podcast too. So basically, like every finale ever filmed.
First up to record was Vania, who opened up about how she lost all her confidence after arriving at the competition however slowly but surely, she has gotten out of her way and been the icon she is on the outside. Pitita meanwhile was thrilled to have made it so far and then gagged me with the fact she injured her finger before coming to the competition. Like, how did that get lost in translation over the last three months? She opened up about not believing in herself until she won her third challenge and while her sisters grew to think she was favoured, she learnt to stay proud of what she has achieved. Kelly meanwhile was just gagged to come back to the competition, let alone make it to the end and just hoped to make her hometown proud. While Hornella spoke about how she entered the competition confident in her skills but as the week’s progressed she started to doubt herself as she saw her sisters shine. We then got a supercut of why every queen thought they should win and while I love them all, come on, this is Pitita’s crown, right?
With that out of the way the dolls split up to listen to their Sup-remix and write their verses, with Vania and Kelly quickly devolving into slutty gags and singing about rimming. Before Kelly settled on STI education. Pitita and Hornella were a little more focused, with the former planning to stamp her status as the frontrunner. Hornella on the other hand just wanted to be true to herself. They then piled around each other in front of the mirror to praise their sisters and ugh, it was sweet, but also a little bit too much padding, no?
Loved up the dolls dropped by the mainstage to work through the choreography for the performance and while Vania struggled the entire time, she appeared to be having so much fun. And that should matter. Pitita was focused and committed, despite not being the most comfortable while the others weren’t really focused at all.
We skipped any other work room action and pivoted directly to the mainstage where it was family only on the panel as Supremme, Ana y los Javis took their places at the desk. We then got to see the premiere of Supremme’s new film clip Fever and TBH, it makes me so, so jealous about how little budget Down Under has comparatively. Because it and the dolls looked good. It then pivoted to the mainstage for a live performance including the eliminated queens and it was just so joyous and fun.
On the Mejor Look Drag runway, Vania served a stunning red, Chinese dragon gown and looked absolutely perfect. In a Jessica Rabbit kind way. Pitita served opulent, vintage dame in black and white – again, stun-ning – while Kelly gave drama in red and black as she skated around the stage and into my heart while Hornella was a pink, puffy delight.
Vania received universal praise for her runway though read for struggling in the choreography. That being said, she was a consistent icon all throughout the competition. The judges lived for everything about Pitita’s run, from always serving a fashion moment to being creative and funny, she never put a foot wrong. And while that made the other girls feel resentful, she slayed and there is no denying it. Kelly meanwhile was praised for serving stunning looks, while also having a delightful attitude and the wonderful ability to laugh at herself. Hornella on the flipside was praised for always making the judges feel something, while giving sickening, creative looks. Particularly her final look, which is perfection.
Backstage the dolls were thrilled by home much the judges loved everything they did, particularly since Ana deemed them iconic. Talk turned to who they think will be lip syncing for the crown, with Vania suggesting she’d love to do it alone, but if that isn’t the case, she’d rather it be all four of them. Which is sweet, but unlikely.
The eliminated queens then stomped the runway in their finale gowns and honestly, they all looked lovely and it was wonderful to see. When it came to the top four, Vania ultimately didn’t get her wish as Kelly and Hornella were cut, leaving her to battle Pitita for the crown to Punto de Partida by Rocio Jurado and ugh, it was perfect (and oh so long). The drama of the song suited the moment as the dolls served all the emotion, feeling every lyric and building throughout the song. And given they both were solid, it should be no surprise that when Sharonne appeared to pass on the crown, it went to the season-long frontrunner Pitita.
As Vania arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and praised her for such a solid run. I mean, were it any other season, she would have been the clear frontrunner however Pitita came in and Pitita-ed the shit out of the thing, leaving her to have to setlle for being an icon. And most importantly, the recipe of the season, in the form of this Vania Vainilla Cake.
Not just any vanilla cake, this copycat of Milkbar’s Birthday Cake (which to complete the inception, is a copycat of a funfetti cake) is near perfect. Balancing the sweet with the salty, this light, fluffy cake is packed full of flavour to celebrate any occasion. Like a future All Stars winner, for instance.
Enjoy!
Vania Vainilla Cake Serves: 1 iconic runner-up and her equally horned friend.
Ingredients vegetable oil spray 2 ¾ cups flour 2 ¼ tsp baking powder 1 ¾ tsp kosher salt ½ cup rainbow sprinkles, divided ½ cup buttermilk ⅓ cup and ¼ cup grapeseed oil 3 tbsp vanilla extract 1 ¾ cups raw caster sugar ⅓ cup and ¼ cup vegetable shortening ¾ cup unsalted butter, room temperature 5 tbsp light brown sugar 3 large eggs 60g cream cheese, room temperature 2 tbsp light corn syrup 1 ¼ icing sugar ⅛ tsp citric acid ¼ cup milk
Method Preheat the oven to 180C and line a half baking sheet with parchment paper and coat with the vegetable oil spray.
To start, whisk two cups of flour, 1 ½ teaspoons of baking powder, ¾ teaspoon of salt, and ¼ cup sprinkles in a large bowl. Then, combine ½ a cup of buttermilk, ⅓ cup of grapeseed oil, and two teaspoons vanilla in a jug.
Beat the 1 ¼ cup raw caster sugar, ⅓ cup veegatble shortening, ¼ cup unsalted butter and 3 tablespoons light brown sugar in a stand mixer on medium until light and fluffy, about 4 minutes. Add the eggs one at a time, qllowing the mixture to come back together before adding the next. Reduce speed to low and add the buttermilk mixture, followed by the dry ingredients, beating for a minute or so or until it all comes together.
Pour the batter into the prepared pan, sprinkle with the two tablespoons and bake for about half an hour, or until golden brown and cooked through. Remove from the oven to cool completely on a wire rack.
Reduce heat to 150C and line a baking sheet with baking paper.
Combine the rest of the flour, raw caster sugar, light brown sugar, rainbow sprinkles and grapeseed oil with half a teaspoon each of baking powder and kosher salt and 1 tablespoon of vanilla extract in the bowl of a stand mixer. Mix on low for a couple of minutes or until it comes together into clusters. Transfer to the baking sheet and bake for 10-12 minutes, or until golden and crisp. Remove from the oven and allow to cool completely.
While everything else gets chill, combine the remaining butter and shortening in the bowl of a stand mixer with the cream cheese and beat on medium for 3-4 minutes, or until smooth and fluffy. Scrape down the sides before beating in the corn syrup and one tablespoon of vanilla for another few minutes, after which it will be glossy and white. Scrape down the sides again and on low, add the icing sugar and remaining salt, baking powder and citric acid. Increase to high and beat for another few minutes until it is light, fluffy and oh so bright.
To assemble, turn out the cake and cut out two 6-inch rings, which will form the top two layers. Place a 6-inch cake ring on a lined cake stand and line with a strip of acetate. Break up the excess cake, pressing into the shape of the ring to form the base layer. Combine milk with the remaining vanilla and brush over the cake to bring it all together.
Smear the cake with three tablespoons of icing over the cake, followed by ⅔ of a cup of birthday crumbs, pressing them into place. Top with another three tablespoons of icing before adding another layer of cake and brush with some milk. Repeat the frosting-crumb-frosting process, followed by the final round of cake. Cover with the remaining frosting, smoothing with a spatula, before topping with the remaining crumbs.
Pop the cake in the freezer to set for three hours, followed by a three hour defrosting period before unveiling the cake, carving and devouring. Triumphantly.
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Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race the producers once again proved to be shady little icons, as the top six starred in Wigloose! The Rusical, mere moments after Anetra sent Marcia Cubed home in the lip sync of the season. After everyone kind of knocked it out of the park and slayed the runway, leaving Ru to jump on the shade train and task his dolls with identifying who should go home for him. Luxx gave an elaborate Ted Talk about how wonderful and unique everyone is except for Loosey, Loosey and Anetra said Salina, Salina returned serve and identified Loosey while Mistress wanted to put an end to Sasha’s meet and greet. Sasha on the other hand wanted to cut Luxx or Loosey for being her biggest threats. Ultimately though another emerged as Anetra took out her second victory, before Loosey defeated Salina and sent her back to WeHo.
Backstage the dolls were disappointed to have lost Salina, well mainly just Sasha, who considers her a friend and shared how proud of her she is. They discovered her mirror message was about her deserving to go home, which obviously made Loosey feel a certain way, given her name was said multiple times too. And you know she felt it just sucked. As they sat down, Mistress laughed about how she could have been mean but didn’t, so hello congeniality era, yet again. Luxx meanwhile doubled down on EVERYTHING she said, with Loosey trying to be calm as she said she will obviously disagree. She bit her tongue as best she could, with Luxx shutting it down, reminding them the end is in sight and that she will be doing nothing but focusing on making it.
The next day the tension was put aside as Mistress assured them she will be winning this week before Ru dropped by to briefly distract them with a little Spill The Tea mini challenge, complete with Norvina. Basically it is a quiz where they have to answer questions guessing who the group thinks will be the most likely answer. If that makes sense, because I really struggled to think that one through. In any event, it was a little bit shady and a whole lot of fun, with everyone kinda feeling their oats and laughing it up, with Loosey even saying she will be the next to go home just to guarantee her victory in the challenge.
After Norvina was swept away, Ru announced that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would makeover teachers in honour of his High School drama teacher. And as the winner of the mini challenge Loosey had the power to pair up the queens with their teachers and while she had the opportunity to be shady, she literally paired them up with their most similar person. Well everyone except Luxx, meaning she is either winning or sending Loosey home and there is no in between.
The duos split up to get to know each other with Anetra’s teacher – Mrs Mahoney – a Drag Race superfan absolutely adorable, despite being nervous to walk the stage. Loosey praised Mrs Wallace for being so smiley and happy and they are super similar, so this should be easy for Loosey. Mistress and Miss Tang were essentially twinning and I love that for them, particularly as her teacher broke down as Mistress thanked her for living proudly and vibrantly for her students. Sasha and Mrs Marchbanks – who watches Drag Race with her husband – were ready to go OTT and pad for the Gods, while Luxx just seemed a little awkward, despite Mrs Reyes giving her full control over everything. While Luxx worked on the outfits and completely forgot they needed to form a relationship too. Mistress’ daughter quickly learnt to be as shady as her mama, challenging Loosey’s daughter to a walk off. And while I’d love to say Mistress and her baby won, Loosey’s daughter kinda served. But trust, Mistress was focused on winning when it counts.
Ru dropped by to kiki with the queens with Sasha first up introducing her daughter Ferocity Colbybanks and talking through their sexy Hawaiian looks. Mistress rightly played on her daughter’s name, christening her Madame Thang, with her sharing she will also be whipping up two velvet gowns. Which will be super easy to hide a kitten heel under, just in case Madame can’t walk. Oh and Madame Thang is adorable and I love her. Anetra and her daughter were awkward and giggly, and I love them. As does Ru, so lets hope they both walk that fucking duck. Luxx and Mrs Reyes – aka Asia Azul – were very mismatched and while I want Mrs Reyes to kill it because she is adorbs, I have a bad feeling. While Lala and Loosey LaDuca were going with the vibe of rich ladies at the beach, with Ru getting shady and asking Loosey how she felt about queens saying she should go home. And what do you know, she would have Ru believe that she is completely unbothered.
Oh and before Ru departed she announced that in addition to walking the runway, the newest queens would also be lip syncing. So they have even more work to do. Loosey and Lala were first up to talk through lip syncing and Mrs Wallace is such a delight, I want only good things for her. Sasha was delighted her daughter knew who Leiomy is, Mistress went full Abby Lee on her daughter while Anetra tried to help her find her duck walk. And well, poor Luxx’s teacher was giving mum dancing and it was so sweet and she needs to win just because of that.
Elimination Day arrived with everyone split up to get their daughters in drag, wth Anetra proud hers wants a resting bitch face. They then bonded over wanting to find a place to escape reality, before Anetra asked if she believes people can unlearn bigotry and even just hearing Mrs Mahoney talk about how she definitely thinks things can always get better, I am filled with hope. Luxx’s teacher asked if she had experienced homophobia, with her opening up to Luxx that she left her church because she couldn’t stand them not accepting her children. Like a damn boss. Mistress’ daughter was nervous about walking the runway but distracted herself by getting shady, asking everyone to talk about their track records. With Loosey continuing to believe mini challenges matter. Mistress pointed out that Lala looks exactly like Loosey before they taught the dolls some slang. While poor Asia Azul looked bored and sad. While Loosey felt Mistress’ teacher looked like a Disney Villain, which is basically Mistresses vibe, so win.
Ru, Michelle and Ross were joined on the panel by Hayley Kiyoko as Sasha and Ferocity Colby walked the runway looking absolutely perfect. They were twinning, they were glam and oh so confident, and I love it. Loosey and Lala gave girls-trip realness, Mistress and Madame were full on glamazons before Luxx and Asia looked beautiful but gave zero family resemblance. And well, then Anetra and Alektra gave sexy Dr Evil and Mini Me realness and well, crown them now.
The judges gave Sasha nothing but praise for giving complete family resemblance and clearly vibing. Ferocity meanwhile loved being padded. Loosey was praised for looking alike, though Michelle felt they weren’t on the same page on the runway while Ross wished that Lala’s shoes had been stoned for the occasion. Mistress was beloved for dripping in chemistry and attitude, before Luxx was praised for making Asia look so stunning – and giving off Jennifer Coolidge – before being read for doing absolutely nothing to give resemblance. Oh and then Anetra was praised for knocking everything this week completely out of the park, particularly for inventing the arm foreskin. And by the time she praised her teacher for bringing all the queerness to the classroom, it was clear it was another win for her.
Before sending the queens backstage, Ru put the teachers through their paces in their first lip sync for their lives to Ru’s Champion and well, they were all so amazing and living their best lives. And yeah, I love them. Particularly since Mrs Reyes is basically Jennifer Coolidge when she moves too.
Backstage the dolls toasted themselves for making the top five before Luxx announced that she knows she will be lip syncing. But trust and believe, she is ready for a fight and good luck to whoever she faces. She then pointed out Loosey is likely lip syncing with her, with Loosey agreeing, though quickly pointing out that she disagrees completely with the judges opinions and thinks she doesn’t belong in the bottom. Luxx accepted all of her critiques, though pointed out her teacher was living and having star quality is clearly their family resemblance. She then asked Loosey why she was shady with the allocations, with her trying to say it was because she was competition before admitting it was also because she was rude to her, leading to some epic tension. For ages. Before Mistress turned things positive, praising Anetra and Sasha for doing so well.
Talk turned to the teachers with Luxx living for how lovely Asia is as a parent, protecting her queer kids and supporting them to live their authentic lives. Loosey asked her sisters about their drag families, with Sasha pointing out they can provide all the love and support that queer people often miss out from their bio families. Sasha then got a call from the iconic Kerri Colby and ugh, I love her so much. And how much she is riding for Sasha to take out the win, which is correct. Loosey was up next with a call from her family and friends, breaking down as she got the unconditional love and support she had clearly needed. She then opened up how hard it is to be away from her family, apologising for being robotic due to being so focused on the competition.
The teachers dropped by to join their mothers who brought a lovely energy to the room, with Mistress explaining why Loosey and Luxx were rehearsing. Sasha’s teacher thanked her for making her dreams come true and then asked to stay in touch and ugh, I am so damn jealous she gets to be Sasha’s friend.
Ultimately Mistress and Sasha were sent to safety before Anetra rightly took out her third win of the season, leaving Loosey to lip sync for her life against her nemesis Luxx. And well, maybe she shouldn’t have set up Luxx, because she can turn it. That being said, you know that Loosey felt she didn’t belong in the bottom and was angry. So angry, she was ready to demolish Hayley Kiyoko’s For the Girls. As Loosey fought valiantly, giving camp and sass, Luxx was all fire, giving tricks, energy and all the sex and ugh, it was good. But sadly, once again track record took precedence as Luxx was sent to safety leaving Loosey to exit. In tears.
As she found me back in the Werk Room, I pulled her in for a massive hug and praised her for giving such a dominating performance across the season. While her sisters – and maybe the producers – kinda trolled her or didn’t give her the flowers she often deserved, there is no denying she is a killer queen. Just sadly sometimes she was a little too polished, which appears to be triggering for Ru. I assured her that she did an amazing job throughout the season and reminded her that while queens like her often get trolled in regular seasons, they are usually the ones that dominate All Stars. Which is something I definitely see in her future, like a young DeLa for instance. And with that reference of BenDeLaChrist, she was once again her happy bubbly self and ready to tackle the world with a belly full of Loosey LaDucanut Cake.
Coconut has a very special place in my heart and I’ve spent years hunting for the ultimate coconut cake recipe, with this coming the closest to perfection I personally can muster. Sweet and flavourful, with a gorgeously light icing coated in chewy coconut, it is truly glorious.
Enjoy!
Loosey LaDucanut Cake Serves: 2 dear friends, 1 being a future All Stars winner.
Ingredients 550g unsalted butter, at room temperature 2 cups raw caster sugar 5 eggs, at room temperature 3 tsp vanilla extract 1 tsp coconut essence 3 cups flour 1 tsp baking powder ½ tsp baking soda ½ tsp kosher salt 1 cup milk 300g shredded coconut, toasted 450g cream cheese, at room temperature 1 tsp almond extract 450g icing sugar
Method Preheat the oven to 180C and grease two round 23cm cake tins.
Using a stand mixer, cream 350g of the butter and the raw caster sugar on medium speed until light and fluffy. About five minutes. Add the eggs one at a time, allowing the batter to come back together before adding the next, followed by 2 teaspoons of the vanilla extract and the coconut essence. It may look curdled at this point, but keep calm and carry on.
Remove from the stand mixer and sift in the flour, baking powder and soda, followed by the salt – which probs won’t sift – before folding into the batter, slowly adding milk as you go until it is all just combined. Return to the mixer and beat on low for a minute or two to ensure it is all together. Remove again, fold through 120g of the shredded coconut until just combined.
Divide the batter between the pans and transfer to the oven to bake for 45 minutes, or until golden and an inserted skewer comes out clean. Transfer to a baking rack to cool for half an hour before turning out and cooling completely.
As the cake gets chills, cream the cream cheese and remaining butter with the remaining vanilla and almond extract for a couple of minutes. Slowly add in the icing sugar and mix until smooth and combined.
When the cakes are cold enough to not ruin your hard work, pop a cake on a serving platter and spoon some icing on top to give about ½ centimetre layer once the second cake is stacked on top. Ice the top and sides of the cake before pressing with the remaining shredded coconut (and any extra, if desired) to coat the cake. Then devour, greedily.
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Previously on Survivor 18 castaways were once again marooned in the islands of Fiji for a season of shenanigans and scheming. And while Jesse and Karla kinda dominated everyone, they were eliminated back-to-back resulting in a wild final tribal council where Cassidy was robbed and the jury awarded Gabler victory. Before he promptly gave all the money away to charity, which was lovely, but also kinda ended the season in an odd way. So basically, it happened and we were there.
But that is then and this is now, and I am obviously going to roll right past things and embrace more Probst time. We kicked things off with Carolyn learning a little bit about how to deliver confessionals and while it was all about herself, she seemed a little confused about what she was meant to do, so I love her already. We then cut to three boats speeding to a shore where we learnt young Carson has been studying for a shot to play for years and years. A lady named Claire meanwhile was hoping to translate being a venture capitalist into winning the money, while Jaime will use her yogi skills to build bonds while Yam Yam just can’t wait to shit in the ocean. Oh and Frannie loves tests, while Bruce is exploding with excitement.
But more importantly, Yam Yam is pumped for aqua dumps.
The boats arrived on a beach to meet Jeff where Jaime immediately fell in the ocean, while Matt and Frannie were shocked by how real it felt. And well, everyone was just a tad bit excited. Jeff gave us some flashbacks to past maroonings and victories, reminding them they have to both build a society and be strategic enough to make it to the end and convince people to give them money. Yam Yam was first to speak officially, saying he wants castaways to bring it and give it their all and that he is just pumped to hold their puke bags as they’re family now. Frannie agreed that they’re bonded for life while Matthew was just anxious, rather than fearful. Which is relatable AF.
After introducing Ratu in orange, Soka in green and Tika in purple, Jeff explained that their first reward challenge would see pairs from each tribe race through obstacles to collect puzzle pieces, then two people will solve said puzzle before three people would each release a ring from a pole – swoon – with the first tribe to finish getting supplies and second place getting to pick whether to do the sweat or swoon challenge back at camp, while last place would have to suffer through the other. On the second obstacle, Bruce smacked his head on a piece of wood and started flowing blood as Probst told him to let him know if they needed to pause the challenge. The other tribes continued to power ahead, as Tika pulled up the rear while Bruce was completely covered in blood.
Everyone was working on their puzzles before Bruce fell to the ground as Probst finally called pause on the challenge as medical checked his vital signs. Everyone cheered as he sat up and gave them a sign and ugh, it was beautiful to see. He then called the challenge back on as the tribes powered through the puzzles, with Tika somehow first to finish theirs. The other tribes then cheated on the puzzle as Carolyn struggled to release the rings, leaving Soka to power through the rings and win their supplies. Before Ratu burnt through theirs, handing them the choice of the additional challenges while Carolyn was just exhausted and the tribe was left with the dregs. After handing out maps to their camps, Probst ominously advised Bruce that the medical team would continue to monitor him over the next day.
We followed Soka to their new camp, where the tribe were still super excited about literally everything. Matt meanwhile admitted to us that he was a little bit nervous to hit the beach, since he is fresh out of a break up and wanting to find himself. They went into the ocean to wash off the mud and make introductions with everyone vibing and having a nice time and ugh, I love it. Despite the fact Danny wished there was an asshole that would make it easier to get rid of people when the time comes. Josh, Frannie and Claire went for a walk looking for firewood as they came across a locked birdcage with an idol – or at least, something – in the middle of the jungle. They pulled everyone aside to show them and well, just the sight of it seemed to make everyone a little nervous.
At Ratu the tribe read the challenges in front of them where they would either have to work collecting 100s of coconuts at opposite ends of the beach in under 4 hours, while the savvy challenge would be to solve a puzzle in 15 minutes. Matthew pointed out the other tribe were kind of down and out already with Bruce’s injury, so sweetly suggested the brawn challenge makes the most sense for them. Matthew and Brandon got to work on the coconut challenge as the other four started sorting their camp. We bounced over to Tika where Helen was delighted to learn they jagged the puzzle with Carolyn and Yam Yam quickly dapping out. As such Carson and Helen stood up to the puzzle and straight up solved it within a matter of minutes, as the rest of the tribe wandered around and discovered their cage. And while Yam Yam knew it was an advantage, he desperately wanted it to be candy. While Carolyn wanted to break in without a key.
And I ship both of them already.
Back at Ratu Brandon and Matthew were straight up exhausted by the challenge, though continued to power ahead in the hope of getting their supplies. The rest of their tribe came across the cage, which they quickly agreed to ignore and do as much work as possible for the duo working hard for their supplies. And while they were cramping up and ready to quit, the duo managed to finalise it with a matter of minutes remaining. And well, they were just overjoyed.
Carson and Yam Yam were busy trying to make fire back at Tika, with Yam Yam proving to have done more practice as he ignited a roaring blaze. He opened up to us about how thrilled he is to be from Puerto Rico, given he is used to living in humidity, meaning he is ready to live on an island for a month. Everyone then got to know each other with the biggest takeaway being that Carson gained 30 pounds to come out here and oh god, was he a child?
Over at Soka it was Heidi that quickly got a fire going, surprising and delighting her tribe with her boss behaviour and ugh, I love her and look forward to her dominating. Ideally with Yam Yam and Carolyn. Speaking of love, Matt and Frannie were weaving palm fronds and being all cute and flirty, and ugh, I ship these nerds so hard.
That night as Tika was getting ready for bed they noticed that Bruce was very lethargic and quiet, prompting them to call medical back to camp. He told them that he had developed a massive headache, which had gotten progressively worse over the course of the afternoon, which was unfortunately a sign of concussion. Which sadly pulled him from the game as Jeff arrived at camp to talk him through the process. He was crying, the tribe were crying, I was crying and ugh, I need him to get another shot ASAP. While Yam Yam assured him that they will bring it home for him.
After getting discharged from hospital, I pulled him in for a massive but gentle hug, assuring him that we will see him get a real shot at the game into the future (which has been confirmed by Jeff even). Given I didn’t have much to go on from his 10 minutes pre-injury, I focused my attention on running through strategies for his return, so if he wins, I can take credit. That or my Briuce Sperreault Cheesecake, that is.
A little bit cheesecake, a little bit bread and butter pudding, this spicy little number is an absolute delight. The smooth cream cheese and rich brioche work perfectly to create a decadent dessert which is surprisingly easy.
Enjoy!
Briuce Sperreault Cheesecake Serves: 8.
Ingredients 250g cream cheese, at room temperature 250g sour cream ⅓ cup raw caster sugar 1 tbsp vanilla bean paste 3 eggs ½ cup milk ½ cup hazelnuts, roughly chopped 100g chocolate, roughly chopped 1 ½ tsp ground cinnamon 400g brioche, cut into thick slices 100g butter, at room temperature
Method Preheat the oven to 160C and line a square baking dish with some baking paper.
Using a stand mixer, beat the cream cheese and sour cream with half the sugar until smooth. Add the vanilla, followed by the eggs, one at a time and then the milk, in a slow steady stream, waiting until everything has come together before making the next addition.
Combine the hazelnuts, chocolate, cinnamon and remaining caster sugar in a small bowl. Butter the brioche and gently sprinkle with a little bit of the nut mixture before sandwiching together and repeating the process until you have a series of the sweetest sandwiches around. Then cut the sandwiches into triangles.
Arrange the sandwiches cut-side down in the lined dish before pouring over the cheesecake mixture. Cover with cling and leave to soak for about 15 minutes. Transfer to the oven and bake for 50 minutes or until the cheesecake is set and golden. Remove to cool in the pan for about 15 minutes before dusting with icing sugar and serving, ideally with some vanilla ice cream, before devouring.
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