Drew Bastachio & Plum Danish

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 45, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Austin and Dee were slowly but surely falling in love, forming an unbreakable alliance in the process alongside their fellow Rebas. When Drew decided it was time to get rid of Julie, he told Austin, reiterating that Dee can’t find out in the process. Obviously he told her, given he is smitten, and she immediately told Julie, directing Julie to play the idol she stole from Austin to get out Emily. And while Julie was tempted to take a shot at someone else and solidify her game, she ultimately stuck to her bestie Dee’s plan and eliminated Drew’s second bestie and our queen, Emily.

Back at camp everyone was awkward AF until Katurah congratulated Julie for saving herself. Julie meanwhile was trying to contain her excitement, though pretending to be annoyed at Dee for ‘blindsiding’ her to keep their closeness hidden. Austin meanwhile was glad that he didn’t have to waste his amulet, meaning he has guaranteed safe this episode. So swoon. Dee on the other hand was giving an Oscar winning performance, pretending to be gutted that Julie played her idol and was now worried she would now be Julie’s target. Dee and Austin caught up, with her assuring him she never told Julie, before they locked in a final three alliance. Drew dropped by, happily believing Julie’s reads are on point and that somebody’s acting wasn’t. Julie then arrived and made things awkward, questioning when they gave up on the Reba 4 and while it was cute, Drew couldn’t even look her in the eye. So goodbye Drew, I guess?

The next day Katurah got up early to make a start on finding the replaced idol to block Julie from getting it. Sadly for her, Dee and Austin realised she was awake and as such got hunting themselves. And while she didn’t find an idol, Austin found her and made things super awkward. Despite her explaining she was just trying to make sure Julie couldn’t find anything, he cautioned that spooking Julie could lead to her hunting even harder. Everyone returned to camp with Drew and Julie catching up to clear the air, as Drew pretended Reba 4 making it to the end is still viable, while she pointed out that she just doesn’t know how to trust him. Drew, on the other hand, told us that he is just swallowing his rage and still plans to get rid of her next. After delivering Drew back to camp, Julie asked to talk to Dee and both of them acted angry as they scurried away from camp before they started laughing at how well they managed to pull off the blindside. Dee laughed about swearing on everyone in her life and how she is still close with everyone, assuring Julie that Drew is the one coming for her and as such, they need to rally new numbers to get rid of him. Immediately.

The tribe met up with Probst for an epic reward challenge where they would race from the ocean and then barrel roll through a course to collect keys which they use to unlock a slide puzzle. With the first person to win scoring an epic picnic on a sandspit in the middle of the ocean. Which they will arrive at by helicopter. Austin powered out to an early lead with everyone nipping at his heels to varying degrees of success. Drew was first to close the gap, leaving the besties to fight it out on the puzzle, as everyone slowly made their way to fighting with them. Before Austin solved the puzzle out of nowhere and snatched reward. Obviously Probst asked him to select a friend to go with him, opting for Dee before Probst gave him one other person, which was Katurah, to keep Drew and Julie back at camp to guarantee nobody starts throwing out his name. Given they’re focused on getting each other out.

Back at camp, the world’s most awkward throuple popped on a pot of rice and lamented how shitty it was to miss out. Even though they all understand why Austin didn’t choose them. Julie awkwardly told Drew she could go grab some peppers with Jake to make sure Drew’s babysitting isn’t ruined. As Drew tossed the lid of the pot into the shore, the duo were busy hunting for idols and causing chaos and yeah, I love that for them. As they returned to the shelter, the helicopter did a flyby to prove they weren’t on reward, with Drew continuing to be salty.

On the helicopter, the trio were giddily enjoying the ride as Katurah realised she was third wheeling as Dee and Austin held hands and rubbed knees, and ugh, it was sweet and I love this story and am a little shocked it took so long for us to get here. Was the love story happening from the first episode? I want to know and I want them to get married, Boston Rob and Amber style. Just as they decreed. I mean, the supercut of the two of them blushing, talking about how much they love each other was adorbs, and I love love, ok?

Back at camp Drew was still miserable as they finally got to work cooking the rice, as Jake pretended to be going to get changed so he could hunt for an idol. Sadly for him, he found something, however it was just a clue. Directing him to find the idol in a secret compartment of the raft. He then stripped down to his underwear to keep his story up as he finally grabbed the idol, vowing to leverage it to earn him votes at the final tribal council.

The tribe came together with Probst for the latest immunity challenge where they would use a leg to balance a ball on a long paddle, with the last one standing guaranteeing themselves a spot in the final five. And given the paddle has a lip, I honestly don’t see how this is that difficult. And as soon as I wrote that, Julie and Jake dropped back to back within minutes. Katurah was next to go, followed by Drew after an epic save around the seven minute mark, leaving Dee and Austin to battle it out. With the lovebirds being shady about how easy they are finding the challenge. After surpassing the dreamteam’s winning time of 21 minutes, Austin started to wobble and dropped while Dee just did not move, earning herself immunity as Austin hobbled over to congratulate his girlfriend.

Back at camp the tribe congratulated Dee on her epic victory as the lovebirds joked about being desperate to beat each other in every challenge. As Julie wandered off, Drew and Austin locked in Jake and Katurah on the Julie vote. Sadly for the boys, Jake knew he needed to do something bigger if he wants to win and as such, pulled Julie aside to float a Drew blindside instead. Which she was obviously thrilled about. Julie knew that Dee would also be down to write Drew too, though had to pretend it would be a harder sell to get majority. Jake quickly looped in Katurah who was down and while Katurah was confident she could convince Dee to join them, Jake didn’t want to get her onboard until after a tie, so she can’t claim the move as her own. Sadly for him, however, Katurah went to Dee and suggested that she would love to get rid of Drew giving her yet another feather in her cap.

Dee then pulled Drew aside to talk about how cleanly the merge has gone for him, loving how closely he and Austin have worked together, looking towards greats like JT and Stephen, and Tyson and Gervase. As he hoped it would all stay together so they can make it to the end. Dee and Austin caught up by the shore, with Dee worried about whether she should loop him in on the blindside, given he could easily play his idol for Drew and pull off the move she did just last week. Leaving her to battle between her head and her heart.

At tribal council Austin spoke about how grateful he was to not get much blowback for picking Katurah to go on reward and leave the kids to babysit. Julie joked about her kids turning on her, while Katurah spoke about how well the tribe are compartmentalising given they like each other but are all fighting hard to win. Drew and Dee spoke about how the relationships are also making things more difficult, as everyone is also lying to each other. Drew meanwhile shared that if he makes it through tonight, he feels like he has a very clear path to the end. Which Julie pointed out was a blessing, given she can’t even see how she could possibly get to the four let alone three. Before Drew gave a lovely analogy about how difficult Julie’s path is to the end, while Julie made a plea for everyone to play smart. Talk turned to how people are now thinking about who they want to face at the end, with Dee admitting she has a plan but knows that it is unlikely for anyone to get the exact final three they’re hoping for.

With that the tribe voted, Austin played his idol for himself and his closest ally not called Dee, Drew found himself blindsided from the game. As Austin looked on at Dee, heartbroken. Before we could find out whether it was the end of my favourite lovers, I ventured to Ponderosa to try and cheer up Drew because he was, in a word, pissed. Super pissed. I tried to pull him in for a hug to assure him that going out just before the finale is generally better to being cut first in the finale, however given he was so confident in his path forward, he wasn’t having it. That is until he had a Drew Bastachio & Plum Danish or five.

The earthy pistachio and tart, juicy plums work perfectly to counteract the crisp, fresh pastry. Flavourful, decadent and melt in your mouth, these danishes have the power to turn around even the worst of moods.

Enjoy!

Drew Bastachio & Plum Danish
Serves: 4-8.

Ingredients
250g pistachios
250g unsalted butter, at room temperature
250g raw caster sugar
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 eggs
2 sheets good-quality butter puff pastry, quartered
8 davidson plums, pitted and sliced

Method
Preheat the oven to 200ºC. Pop the nuts on a baking tray and toast in the oven for 5-10 minutes. Remove from the oven and allow to cool (though leave the oven on).

Once the nuts have cooled a little, pop 200g of them in a food processor and blitz until they have formed a meal-like consistency and no further. Add the butter, sugar, vanilla and eggs and blitz until well combined.

To assemble, cut the squares of pastry into circles, spoon a dollop of the pistachio mixture in the middle and top with some plum, leaving a 2cm rim around the edge. Roughly chop the remaining nuts and sprinkle over the top. Pop in the oven and bake for twenty minutes, or until golden, puffed and crisp. Then, obviously, devour.

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The Girlfruitmince Piexperience

Baking, Canada's Drag Race 4, Canada’s Drag Race, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls went into marketing mode as they hosted their own little spots on QVShe. And let’s just say, it was freaking damn terrible. Like bomb after bomb, except for Venus in her skit and the duo of Kitten and Melinda. Who ironically were the ones everyone else avoided. Despite being a strong duo, it was ultimately Kitten that took out victory. After Brooke warned all the other dolls they were lucky they had to stop at the bottom three, she announced the new twist of the season, the Golden Beaver. Where the winning queen would be able to save one of the bottom three from lip syncing. With Kitten wielding her power to save The Girlfriend Experience. Leaving Luna to send Sisi home, giving the ultimate that’ll do.

Backstage Luna was shell shocked to have survived the lip sync, while Denim was already missing her Montreal sister. Vowing to win the whole competition in her honour. Aurora meanwhile was thrilled her Toronto sister had survived. Before Aimee decided it would be a wonderful idea to verbalise that she wasn’t vibing with Luna’s lip sync performance. Kitten meanwhile directed things to the big old twist, talking about the potential for alliances helping people make their way to the end. She explained to Luna that she didn’t save her as she just was closer to Girlfriend. While also hoping Girlfriend would return the favour in the future. Luna however did vow to return the favour, and suggested she would save only people that would benefit her making it further.

The next day Girlfriend was thrilled to not be a Porkchop – when it is clearly Juice Boxx – before Melinda led the girls in congratulating Kitten on her win. Again. Denim meanwhile wanted to find out how everyone else would vote with the power of the beaver, with Kiki wanting everyone to stick with the judges critiques. Nearah on the other hand wanted everyone to try their hardest to get rid of the threats. To help her get to the end.

Traci dropped by to put them through their paces in a press junket mini challenge. Complete with 20 minute quick drag. First up to promote The Godmotha 3 was Melinda who was so messy and patronising, and I loved it. Venus was obviously polished and demented, while The Girlfriend Experience just bomb, bomb, bombed again. While Kitten gave Liza, Aurora was shrill, Kiki was horny and Denim was detached. Obviously Melinda won, given she was the only one committing to a bit. And for winning, she was a team captain in this week’s girl groups maxi challenge. While Luna, as the survivor of the lip sync, was the other.

Melinda quickly jagged Kiki, Kitten, The Girlfriend Experience and Aimee for her band while Luna grabbed Venus, Aurora and Nearah, leaving Denim to round out group two. Giving us a battle of the oldies and the younguns. And given Denim was last to be picked, she got to select the songs, opting for Heartbeat, a love song. Giving the old gals Heartbreak. As is tradition, they would write lyrics and put together choreo and looks, all under the mentorship of pop star Rêve.

The dolls split up to figure out their genre and how best to serve their songs. The oldies locked on the band name Vixens, while the dolls went with Love Bugs. Before promptly pulling together an alliance. The bands started to listen to their songs and got to work on their lyrics, with Aurora dropping line after line, while at the other end of the pack, Girlfriend just struggled.

The Love Bugs were first up to record with Rêve, with Denim slaying albeit a little slowly. Luna meanwhile was positively glacial, as poor Rêve desperately tried to get her to give even a hint of energy. Aurora meanwhile spit bars like it was nothing, Nearah went for some money notes before Venus, once again, was perfect and damn, am I stanning? They traded out with The Vixens with Melinda actually a diva, Kiki meanwhile struggled and got stuck in her head and Kitten gave old cabaret. Nothing more, nothing less. While Girlfriend slowly got more comfortable throughout the record, before Aimee gave sass in a Bebe Zahara kinda way. We ventured to the mainstage where The Love Bugs got to work on the choreography where Nearah and Aurora took control and absolutely slayed, while Denim struggled. When The Vixens hit the stage, Melinda took control and immediately got under everyone’s skin.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone splitting up to beat their mugs and get ready to slay the house down boots. Denim meanwhile opted to be shady, asking why she was picked last. While Aimee opened up about getting in her head about the fact she was singing in her second language, though she is super proud of herself. Nearah meanwhile opened up about her zaddy fiance, before Denim spoke about her husband and how thrilled it is to be with another trans man. Kitten meanwhile opened up about her boyfriend and how supportive she is of Kitten. Aimee spoke about getting divorced just before coming to the show and that she is ready to turn it out.

Brooke, Brad and Traci were joined by Rêve on the panel as The Vixens debuted their hit song Heartbreak and let’s just say, this was the Melinda Varga show and I 100% stan her. Kiki meanwhile couldn’t lip sync to her own lyrics, Girlfriend struggled with the choreography and Kitten was a little flat. Aimee meanwhile was a surprise, giving attitude and charm and ugh, I love to see it. When it came to The Love Bugs performance of Heartbeat, it was polished, cohesive and oh so stunning. The moves were camp and silly, yet still a little sickening. While Luna didn’t have the same energy as the rest of her sisters, it still kinda worked. Though maybe that is just because the others really got a star moment.

On the Sunglasses at Night runway Aurora was stunning in fiery red and black, all hanging from her shades. Luna gave ruffle pleather crow, Nearah gave purple hooded dame, Denim was bright, beaded and wearing all the sunnies while Venus gave terminator drag diva. Aimee was glorious in green and blue, like a denizen of Oz. Girlfriend gave full dominatrix, Melinda gave Madonna Frozen with face-shield glasses, Kitten gave goon sack daddy before Kiki closed the show looking perfect in a mariachi ghost demon look, complete with big ol’ bow.

Aimee, Kiki, Denim, Girlfriend, Kitten and Aurora were deemed the tops and bottoms, as the rest of the girls were dismissed backstage. Aurora received wall to wall praise for each and every thing she did this week, from the killer lyrics, the on point choreography and most importantly, giving the best runway of the night. Denim too was absolutely beloved while the judges lived for everything Aimee did this week, particularly since she woke up the song and finally had her breakthrough. Girlfriend meanwhile was praised for showing a little more of herself, particularly on the runway, however they clearly hated her performance during the song. Kitten was read for being a little bland and not being connected to the performance. And while Kiki’s runway was absolutely perfect, she was read for not giving enough in the challenge.

Aurora was deemed the winner of this week’s challenge and named the holder of The Golden Beaver, while Denim and Aimee were deemed safe. When they arrived backstage Melinda was busy talking about how gutted she was to see her bandmates make up the bottom. Aurora giddily shared that she took out the first win of the season, while everyone was shocked to hear Aimee was in the top. Talk turned to the power of the beaver, with Kiki disappointed that she isn’t giving the judges enough, assuring Aurora that if she is saved, she will bring the fire and make it worth it. Kitten meanwhile spoke about the judges thinking she was tired, while Girlfriend was disappointed to once again be read for being herself.

Ultimately Aurora opted to save Kiki, leaving Kitten and Girlfriend to battle for the last spot to Rêve’s Tongue. And while the song kinda felt like it would be up Girlfriend’s alley, Kitten was hungry for the win and absolutely demolished, giving camp, as she hit every lyric and used every inch of the floor. Which was enough to let her fight another day, as The Girlfriend Experience was sent out the door. As Girlfriend arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that she is talented and a star, and as such, she shouldn’t let a competition make her feel any less. Which cheered her up, a lot quicker than expected, and as such, we toasted her success with a fresh batch of The Girlfruitmince Piexperience.

I always hated fruit mince pies as a kid, as like Rachel Green making a trifle, I thought they used mince. But then I got a taste of Fruit Mince Pylie Jenner and it was the gateway to the majesty of the traditional kind. Rich, spiced and sweet, they are the perfect festive treat to get you to the end of the year.

Enjoy!

The Girlfruitmince Piexperience
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
225g cold butter, diced
350g flour
100g raw caster sugar
¼ tsp kosher salt
300g mincemeat
1 egg, beaten
raw sugar, to sprinkle

Method
Using your fingers, rub the butter into the flour until it resembles wet sand. Then mix in the caster sugar and salt, kneading with your hands until it just forms a ball. Form into a disc, wrap in cling and pop in the fridge to chill for an hour.

Heat the oven to 180C.

Remove the dough and roll out until it is 3mm thick. Cut into 5-10cm discs and place half into mini pie pans. Spoon in some mincemeat, store bought is fine. Top with the other discs, pressing the edges to seal. Brush the tops with egg and sprinkle with the raw sugar before slicing a small vent in the top of each.

Pop the pies in the oven and bake for 20 minutes or so, or until golden. Remove to cool in the tin for 5 minutes before popping out and placing on a wire rack to cool completely. Or devouring, no judgement.

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J. Gayatime Pudding

Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 45, Sweets, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Survivor Drew, Austin, Julie and Dee formed a tight alliance on original Reba, however were now split down genderlines on new Belo and Reba. After Sean opted to quit, the Reba women focused on telling Sifu that it was J that cast a vote against him, rather than Dee. Which made sense for everyone not named J. Thankfully it didn’t reach its crescendo as the new (which is also just old) Reba won immunity and sent Belo to tribal council. Austin, J and Kellie went on a little journey and were forced to pick between amulets and sandwiches, with Austin desperate for the food though outvoted by the girls. And you best believe he was already plotting revenge before he made it back to camp. At said camp, Kendra went full Drew Barrymore and felt all the feels, while Emily was in the driver’s seat. Ultimately siding with the Rebas to get rid of Brando. And leave Kendra all by herself.

Back at camp the trio tried to assure Kendra that she is solid with them, with her wisely telling them that she completely understands why she wasn’t told. And vowed to work with them moving forward. That was all a farce, however, with Emily squarely in her sights, should she ever get the chance to go full Arya Stark. Because while she believes in karmic retribution in her real life, trust and believe she will be letting her petty flag fly on the island. And this is exactly why I live for her.

The next day we checked in with Lulu where the tribe were busy hunting for idols, with Kaleb leading the charge to guarantee that if he doesn’t have it, he at least knows who does. Right on cue, Bruce found the Beware Advantage directing him to dig under the centre of the shelter. And since Katurah was wandering aimlessly around the shore, Bruce got to digging. Well, until Katurah interrupted him. Everyone stood around awkwardly until Jake went full thespian, pretending to have dropped his ring to justify further digging. Sadly for him, a boat arrived announcing that they would soon be merging and as such, Bruce lost his chance to reclaim his vote.

Wait, no, he had ten minutes to dig and finally, FINALLY, he jagged it. Just before getting on the boat. Like a quote, unquote celebrity.

Lulu and Belo arrived at the former Reba beach to come together and jubilantly celebrate the non-merge. Kaleb meanwhile was hopeful that he and Emily were now in a power position, able to pick which original tribe to go with. But before that, they had a collection of fish to devour which led to Kendra malfunctioning and almost breaking down in tears. She was thrilled to have reconnected with Belo, quickly filling them in on Emily aligning with the Rebas. Emily meanwhile knew she may be in trouble, so pulled Bruce aside to apologise and explain she was just playing devil’s advocate on the boat when they were marooned. After talk turned to the Brando vote, they both agreed to be friendly but it was clear they were against each other.

Austin meanwhile was bitching to Julie and Dee about losing his sandwich, immediately suggesting they target J or Kellie as soon as possible. Knowing Austin needs to sacrifice his vote at the upcoming tribal council to extend the life of his idol, they got to work figuring out someone they can rally the group behind so his vote doesn’t matter, willing to throw J under the bus to weaken their broader target should it get to it.

After a torrential downpour, Sifu, Austin and Emily went for a walk to collect firewood. Before Sifu broke off and was way too much to way too many people. Emily and Kaleb meanwhile caught up to reaffirm their undying loyalty to each other before Kaleb went on a friend making tour, catching up with everyone and winning hearts and minds wherever he goes. Bruce meanwhile was left right out, worried that nobody was talking strategy with him which made him very, very nervous, given Kaleb is friendly with everything. He then confronted Kaleb due to being jealous, and while he tried to pretend he was calm, the relationship with Kaleb is clearly done. Kaleb in turn caught up with Kellie, asking for advice about navigating Bruce, however, it sadly only ended up making Kellie keen to get rid of Bruce at the earliest opportunity too.

The tribe caught up with Probst for the latest immunity challenge where they would be split into two teams to earn the merge. Because ugh, gimmicks. The groups would crawl under a muddy net to a cart, push it through the field to collect sandbags, use the sandbags to climb a tower, collect keys, then climb a boulder to ascend a platform to unlock part 1 of the 2 part puzzle. With the first group to finish the second puzzle merging, having a feast and being immune at tonight’s tribal council. And since there are an odd number of players, the odd one out would back one of the teams and join in their fate. Said unlucky soul turned out to be Katurah, who ultimately backed Sifu, Drew, Bruce, Austin, Julie and Kendra in blue.

Right out of the gate it was clear Katurah made a wise choice as the blue team got out to an early lead at the net. As they got to work pushing the cart, poor J became stuck in the net before finally making it through. It did, however, give blue an epic lead as they collected all their sandbags and released their keys before the other tribe had made it off the course. The blue team got to work on the puzzle and TBH, made it look way too easy as the red team desperately tried to make their way up the boulder, winning themselves and Katurah immunity. And tragically leaving both Lulu’s at risk.

We followed the victors to the sanctuary where they joyously got to work smashing their meal, and awkwardly waited for someone to throw out a name. Well, that is after gushing about butter, which is relatable. Who wouldn’t fuck butter?! Sifu eventually kicked things off, throwing out J with his fellow Rebas agreeing they’d be happy to get rid of her. As a counterpoint, Julie suggested Kaleb could also be a safe vote, with Kendra and Bruce quickly jumping on board, agreeing he is a massive risk and needs to go ASAP. Katurah meanwhile, wasn’t thrilled by the idea pointing out Emily is more of an island, so if they want to get rid of a Lulu, it should be her.

Back at camp, Jake was feeling very anxious about finally attending tribal council. As such, he approached J and suggested they work together, with the duo agreeing that a Lulu needs to go ASAP. While Emily looked to be the easier idea, J was more focused on getting rid of Kaleb as the bigger threat. She looped in Dee, who then caught up with Jake and gagged him by throwing out J as a potential option. The game of telephone began as Dee then looped in Kaleb, while Jake filled in Kellie, who was obviously keen to super power her amulet.

The two groups finally came together where all hell broke loose. The Belo women caught up and immediately locked in J or Kaleb, with Katurah continuing to point out that getting rid of Kaleb tonight is a bad idea, given J weakens the other alliance. Which should be their focus. It then bounced back and forth between the two and ugh, please do not let us lose King Kaleb so soon. The Rebas caught up with Emily and told her it seems like Kaleb would likely be going home, with her cautioning them that it was too soon and that they could use his gratitude to move forward. Emily then looped in Kaleb and told him he really needs to play his Shot in the Dark before going to the Rebas and pledging his undying loyalty to them, given he now hates Bruce and wants him gone. So much so, he told everyone that Bruce has the idol.

At tribal council the remaining castaways collected their torches before Drew spoke about the information dump that was everyone coming together and how uncertain everyone was in the new group. Emily opened up about squashing the beef with Bruce, J spoke about being overwhelmed by all the new people to navigate while Sifu felt like it was chaos as everyone was inundated by a bunch of noise. Julie meanwhile felt like not everyone was strategising too hard, while Katurah was just worried about people voting for her eventually and how ultimately she feels badly for the six possible options. Kaleb spoke about continuing to be hopeful, despite knowing that he is clearly a target tonight. Emily agreed that she and Kaleb are clearly a little cursed, merge, or non-merge, be damned.

J opened up about spending the day just trying to make sure she doesn’t burn all the bridges as she moves forward. Kaleb meanwhile went the hail mary route and spoke about how while he is a physical threat, he isn’t the biggest strategically and as such, the group should band together to get rid of J. He spoke about how the Reba women have been together for two weeks, pointing out that Dee and Julie would be smart to sacrifice J if for no other reason than lowering their own threat levels. This irked Dee, asking him to potentially outline a few more threats and while he didn’t want to, Dee pointed out that what he said hardly makes her interested in working with him.

With that the tribe voted, except for Austin who wanted to power his idol up until the final five. And Kaleb, who opted to play his Shot in the Dark. And not just play it, but play it successfully, as he pulled the scroll that read safety and jagged himself immunity as the shocked tribe cheered on. In, I repeat, shock. Particularly as Jeff tallied the votes and every single vote came in for Kaleb, breaking Kelley’s record in the process. Given there were no eligible votes in the urn, the tribe started to scramble with J and Katurah floating Emily, Emily and Bruce locking in J and everyone stopping in with Kaleb to congratulate him for finally getting some luck.

After everyone seemingly locked in the vote for Emily, they once again voted and with no tricks left to save anyone, J found herself exiting the game. As she arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled her in for an epic hug and told her she did a good job and to hold her head up high. She then thanked me, assuring me she knows that going out at a wild tribal council is always a win. I then explained that I actually was congratulating her for her ability to bite her tongue every time Sifu said he was a songwriter. We then laughed and laughed, at the hilarity of our faux pas – and the jam sessions – before we toasted her epic departure with a delicious J. Gayatime Pudding.

This glorious little pudding is just as glorious as it is easy to make. Velvety and sweet, with the perfect set of salt and a gorgeous – albeit store bought – crumb, it has it all. And has you coming back for more and more.

Enjoy!

J. Gayatime Pudding
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
6 gelatine leaves
400g Dulce de Nick Lachey
500ml custard
3 egg whites
3 tbsp caster sugar
1 tsp kosher salt
600ml double cream, whipped to a soft peak
½ cup Gaytime crumbs

Method
Soak the gelatine in cold water for a few minutes to bloom. Squeeze out the water and add to the bowl of a stand mixer with the dulce de leche and half the custard. Whisk together on low for a couple of minutes.

In another bowl, whisk the egg whites on high until stiff peaks form. Add the sugar and salt and mix until just combined. Fold the egg whites through the toffee mixture, followed by the whipped cream, until just combined. Divide the pudding between serving glasses, cover and pop in the fridge to set for at least 4 hours.

Once set, remove from the fridge, sprinkle with the crumbs and devour. Like a damn icon.

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Brando Meyer Lemon & Blueberry Donut

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 45, Sweets, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Survivor, after three long, losing weeks, the last Lulu’s caught a break as two of them were guaranteed to avoid the next tribal council. Because, yes, for the first time in the new era, Jeffrey switched up the tribes. And fate opted to keep things spicy for them, splitting them out across the new tribes. Emily got lucky as the swing vote between Austin and Drew, and Kendra and Brando on the new Belo. Kaleb meanwhile was stuck with the rest of the Belos on Lulu, leaving Sean with the rest of Reba on new Reba. After they lost the immunity challenge, the girls were ready to loop Sean in to blindside Sifu however at tribal council, Sean delivered the ultimate blindside by engineering a quit and bouncing out of the game. While Dee, for reasons, still voted for Sifu.

Back at camp Sifu was, in a word, pissed. Reba sat around the fire in silence until he admitted it was a massive surprise to see his name come up and while the girls didn’t want to talk about it, they eventually tried to pass it off as Sean’s vote. Sadly for them, Sean’s parting gift was to tell Sifu he did not vote for him and just like that, he cursed our queens to a rocky road to merge. Which is very un-queer of him, as us gay men should all be stanning this trio as our potential final three.

The next day we checked in with Belo where everyone was hungry, lethargic and talking about the food they would love to be snacking on. Instead of chocolate, chilli, chicken and peanut butter, Kendra found a worm and despite feeling torn – as a Libra – tried to eat it for some protein. Instead she choked on it and spat it out. Drew meanwhile was living for her energy, given she is silly, charming and keeping their spirits up.

Over at Lulu, Jake tried to keep spirits up by playing his gut as a bongo. Sadly, though, when he stood up he passed out again and ugh, this is not fun to watch. Jake meanwhile was frustrated that it kept happening and feared he would get pulled from the game. Thankfully Kellie assured him it is just that he is standing up too fast when they are starving and seeing her kindness was lovely. As was Jake opening up about overcoming an eating disorder to be here and ugh, I guess I now love Jake?

After perking up, Jake and Kaleb went for a wander to get water, Kellie and Bruce disappeared, leaving Katurah by herself. And like any worthy survivor, she immediately went hunting for idols. Sadly for her, everyone returned to camp at the same time and spotted her, and while she tried to downplay it, everyone decided she was too much of a risk to take any further. Except for Kaleb, who continues to be an icon. Though given he is aligned with everyone but Kellie, maybe Katurah isn’t as safe as I’d like. Knowing Kellie was the key to lasting longer, Kaleb approached her about forming a tight alliance. And yeah, I love him.

Back at Reba the girls were still angry, rightfully, about Sean outing them to Sifu, wishing he had just had the backbone to quit, rather than making them go through the process. We then got a beautiful moment from Dee, who opened up about her family immigrating from Cuba and I’m not sure if it is just me, but this is a winner’s edit. But back to the Sifu of it all, as the women are right to be pissed at Sean, as Sifu opened up about being a volcano ready to explode. And that he will use a fake idol he fashioned to spook the women into keeping him safe. He then caught up with Julie and J, teaching them about tai chi and pushing people, and yeah, he is an-gry.

Returning to Belo, Kendra continued to burp and entertain the people, except for Brando, who felt like out of the people on OG Belo, she was the one he had the least in common with. Thankfully for him, he found a fellow nerd in the form of Drew. After bonding over pokemon, Brando floated the idea of a nerd alliance, however Drew continued to be an icon, and told him it just doesn’t feel like a good idea, given Belo have the upper hand. Reading that as the threat it was, Brando went to bond with Kendra and the duo agreed the focus needed to be on aligning with Emily. Sadly for them, Emily had already been courted by the Rebas and TBH, I love this power position for her.

Back at Lulu, Katurah was delighting in Bruce continuing to Bruce, given he is making himself a target. Well, at least in her eyes. Luckily for her, as my fave, he was too much and everyone started to join her in rolling their eyes. Though Kaleb for one is playing it smart, trying to keep him close so that when he makes a move against him, Bruce does not see it coming.

Over at Reba, J told the girls they need to downplay their closeness, offering to go to Sifu and admit that she was the one to cast a vote against him. So that they lull him into a false sense of security, and then strike. Sadly for J, though, Dee decided that maybe it is just easier to vote J instead when they go back to tribal council. Once again though, Julie cautioned it wasn’t a great idea.

The tribes finally caught up with Jeffrey for immunity where they would race through an obstacle course to collect keys, unlock a hook and use it to collect sandbags and then shoot said sandbags and targets with the first two to knock them out jagging immunity. And a glorious or basic seafood basket. Kaleb got Lulu out to an early lead with Kendra and Sifu nipping at his heels. J closed the gap for Reba and got them out in front before Bruce snatched it back for Lulu. Julie then found the right key on her first go, allowing her to release the sandbags well ahead of the other tribes as J was first to take out a target. Lulu joined in the fun as Dee knocked out Reba’s second target. Lulu knocked out their first target before Sifu snatched immunity for Reba as Katurah took out Lulu’s second target and Kaleb their third, handing Lulu immunity and sending Belo to tribal council.

Oh and this week, there would also be a little journey and since Reba won, they got to decide who would go. J won the rock off for Reba, before sending Kellie to make up for missing out on competing and then Austin, given he may be able to give them information in the game. Much to his frustration.

Back at camp Kendra was in her feels, nervous about potentially going home. The group then opted to take a respectful approach to scrambling, so paired off one at a time to pitch their cases, with Brando and Kendra keen to target Drew with Emily, while Brando tried to convince Drew that he would hand over his Shot in the Dark if he would cast his vote for Kendra, rather than him. Sadly it all started to fall apart for Brando when Emily and Drew caught up and they compared notes, and while Brando tried to throw Drew under the bus when he caught up with Emily, I still feel like Emily is more likely to stick with Reba.

Over at Journey Island, the trio were delighted to bond as they hiked up the mountain before they came to the pinnacle to discover their choice: sandwiches or an amulet each, which they would need to work together to use. A single amulet being an idol, two a steal a vote and all three would act as an extra vote. Austin was hungry, and knew the amulets were kinda shit as it just paints a target on his back, so voted for sandwiches, while J was firm in wanting an amulet. Forcing Kellie to break the tie, ultimately siding with J as the trio locked in an alliance to work together until the top seven. Whether Austin was interested or not, who secretly wants to get rid of them ASAP.

Returning to Belo, Emily and Drew caught up about the Kendra vote with Drew firm that it was never his idea. Emily, like an icon, told him that she doesn’t actually trust that is the truth, and while he tried to assure her that he is innocent, I’m not sure it is enough. Austin returned and bitched about missing out on sandwiches, though pretend they had to do a challenge to get an advantage. And failed. After Austin filled Drew in on the truth, Drew shared that the OG Belos are coming for him. Austin and Emily caught up, with Austin quickly assuring her that Drew is not lying to her. Particularly after he shared his newest advantage with her, highlighting that he and Drew are trusting and open with her in general.

At tribal council Brando spoke about how excited he was to finally be at tribal council, despite what it symbolises. Emily spoke about being numb to it at this point, ready for a break. Brando spoke about how powerful he thinks new Belo can be, given they’re the only tribe with connections across each of the original tribes. Drew tried to point out that more relationships mean he can’t trust he has a place in everyone’s games, while Kendra admitted she just worried about where the truth was in all of their actions. Giving off big Drew Barrymore energy in the process. Emily spoke about the importance of just surviving each and every vote – like Sandy D – while Austin admitted strength isn’t important to him, just loyalty. Which Drew agreed with, given the merge is imminent and that is where the battle would become a problem. Emily meanwhile ran the numbers and wanted to figure out the best strategy to take her to the end game.

With that, the tribe voted – Austin sacrificing and reinstating his vote to extend the life of his idol to the merge – before Emily opted to stick with the Rebas as Brando was booted from the game. As he arrived at Loser Lodge I pulled him in for a hug and told him to hold his head up high. I mean, nerd on nerd crime is hard to take (as is all intra-community trauma) but Drew has proven to be quite the enigma, giving dude bro and nerd as needed. And while that isn’t the most reassuring thing for Brando to hear, smashing a Brando Meyer Lemon & Blueberry Donut sure worked.

While you don’t technically need to use a Meyer lemon, they do have a nice sweetness to cut through the tart blueberry. But TBH, who really cares if it is a little tart when it comes in the form of a donut.

Enjoy!

Brando Meyer Lemon & Blueberry Donut
Serves: 2 dear friends.

Ingredients
1 batch Tate Doughnutvans
1 cup raw caster sugar
200g cream cheese
½ cup Lemon Kurd Cobain (specifically meyer lemon, but no judgement)
¼ cup Blueberry Jam Hugh

Method
Cook the donuts per Tate’s recipe and once they have cooled slightly, toss through the sugar to coat.

Pop the cream cheese and curd in a stand mixer and beat with a paddle attachment until well combined.

Pipe each donut with the lemon mixture, leaving a dollop on top. Pop a little spoon of blueberry jam on top. And then, devour.

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Missionfruit Naomeringue Cartouign-amann

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, Snack, Sweets

Previously on Drag Race UK the dolls were gagged to have a week one reprieve from eliminations. Sadly for them, there was no such safety net when it came to using pet supplies to pull together a gown. Edward Enninful and dog Ru dropped by to kiki with the dolls which led to an epic fight between besties and flatmates, Cara and Tomara. And while they managed to squash the beef, it feels like they are here to keep us fed. Banksie slayed the runway from start to finish and took out her first win. While at the other end of the pack Naomi was a mess and Alexis made questionable choices, leading to the latter being defeated by the northern queen and sent out as the Gothy of the season.

Backstage the dolls toasted their fallen sister Alexis, with everyone wishing she could see the star that she is, because if she had just a little more confidence, she could have stayed. They sat down to kiki, congratulating Banksie on a job well done with her becoming a monster, ready to win any and all challenges. DeDe meanwhile was just thrilled to get some positive critiques, as did Tomara who was shocked to land in the top thanks to hot glue and a prayer. Talk turned to Cara and Tomara’s fight and how Ru even brought it up on the runway, with Cara admitting she is now chill and just needed to get it out. And while Vicki and Banksie tried to keep the drama alive, the housemates kept things chill as they assured everyone they may fight, but that is family.

The next day the odd framing miraculously ended as we got to enjoy full group shots as the sisters spoke about their excitement for the week ahead. Naomi meanwhile opened up about how a tit-bang went wrong and she now has knee troubles. Like many a queen before her. Ru dropped by before she could go the way of Victoria, Eureka and Silky to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge, they’d be forming girl groups. And rocking their new singles – Don’t Ick My Yum – on the mainstage. Oh and the dolls had the power to select their own groups, meaning Cara, Tomara, DeDe, Michael and Vicki ran to each other, leaving Kate, Ginger, Banksie and Naomi as the leftovers. Despite feeling a little unwanted, Ginger joked that they give brunch. And werk, I live.

The bands split up to work through their lyrics with the popular dolls feeling very confident, while Michael warned them that underdogs and funny people are something Ru loves and they need to not lose sight of things. While the other dolls were excited to lean into the comedy and for Kate, read the other band for filth since they’re made up of only icks. Apparently. The popular dolls then named themselves Fierce Force Five, while the northern gals named themselves the M-52s in honour of the highway north. And rock lobsters, obviously.

Fierce Force Five were first up to record with the voice – Ru’s words – Michelle Visage and TBH, they were all very good. As were their demented icks, though who would have guessed DeDe would be the relatable icon that hates loud chewers on account of her being a loud chewer. Even Cara, who was struggling through her second puberty, but please, she is all energy and we know she will slay. They traded out with the M-52s, with the dolls just having so much fun. Full of jokes and um, which one is the fake out edit because they all seem good?

They reset the mainstage as the dolls got to work on their choreography with Cara taking the lead and making it dead serious as they hit every line and lived their girl group fantasy. And she ruled with an iron fist and while there was almost a full blown fight, Tomara assured Cara that she will get the moves down and that Cara just needs to calm down. Meanwhile the M-52s realised how much pain Naomi’s knee was in, with the dolls trying to figure out a way to help her out. Despite not feeling confident, Banksie took the lead as Cara kindly offered advice from the wings while the rest of her team begged her to keep quiet.

Elimination Day arrived with Fierce Force Five full to the brim with confidence, while the M-52s were clearly nervous. Given they were already struggling before Naomi had to pop herself on a couch as she couldn’t stand on her knee. Talk turned to the pop icon runway with everyone excited to pay homage to the musicians that made them feel good about themselves as young queer people. Cara meanwhile opened up about realising she was trans and how Nicole Schwerzinger was a beacon of hope for her growing up and who she aspired to be. She then gave an impassioned speech about education and the importance of visibility and knowledge, and how different her journey could have been if it was available and ugh, crown her now as she is an icon.

Ru, Michelle and Graham were joined on the panel by Queen Sophie Ellis-Bextor as Fierce Force Five debuted their version of Don’t Ick My Yum and yeah, they were good. Everyone had energy and hit every damn lyric, but it was clearly Cara and Tomara’s show as they gave sultry songstresses, complete with a powerful message for the latter. Backstage the other dolls were proud of their rivals, though clearly nervous about landing in the bottom. That being said, The M52s slayed and TBH, the use of the couch was iconic. I mean, Ginger played Naomi’s foot as a saxophone, damn it. Plus, they were legit good and leant into the fact they couldn’t exactly dance and that is something I admire.

On the Night of 1000 Pop Icons runway, Vicki was a star as Freddie Mercury, serving sex and camp in equal measure. DeDe was an icon as my dear friend Nicki Minaj – she was funny, too – Cara was perfection as Beyonce at Coachella, Tomara was so damn sexy in honour of Elvis – by way of Demi, according to Ru – while Michael was just so good as a frankensteined version of the Spice Girls. Banksie was glorious as Bowie – and oh so perfectly self-cast – Naomi slayed as Lemonade Beyonce, Ginger was a camp showgirl in honour of Elts before Kate closed the show in honour of Shania Twain. And let’s just say, that does impress me much.

The M52s were deemed safe and sent to untuck before Ru congratulated the Fierce Force Five. They were then gagged to learn that despite the win, only one of them will snatch a badge and it would be decided by a lip sync between the top two. Vicki received praise for her stunning vocals and bringing pasties to music. And they loved the glam of the outfit. DeDe meanwhile was praised for being so much fun through the performance and on the runway, for giving the Baby Spice of the group. Cara rightly received wall to wall praise for carrying the dolls through the performance and being, well, the Beyonce of the group. Tomara too was beloved, for giving slutty and sass on stage, though was read for not dragging it up enough on the runway. They lived for everything Michael did, though cautioned her to put down the glitter. Though they did love her demented take on the Spice Girls.

Backstage the safe girls were shocked and excited to be safe, speculating whether the other group had won or whether they were a combination of tops and bottoms. After they came together, DeDe shared how thrilled she was to be in the top again, as the rest of the dolls wanted her to focus on someone else. The top dolls spoke about how disappointed they were not to be able to share the win like Girl Groups of seasons past. Talk turned to The M52s with everyone praising the couch-ridden Naomi before talk turned to how shady Banksie is.

Ultimately Cara and Tomara were deemed the best of the week, battling it out for victory to Becky Hill and David Guetta’s Remember – aka a bop from my pilates classes, FYI. And damn, it was easy to see why they were the top two divas, continuing their epic run and turning a show. Though rightly, victory went to Cara who was dripping joy and talent all over the stage and again, ugh, she is a star and I stan.

Backstage Cara and Tomara were feeling all of their oats, though DeDe was growing just a wee bit sick of the non-eliminations. To which I say, preach, but knowing the circumstances, I’m ok. Vicki led the dolls in congratulating Cara on victory as DeDe spoke about how close she has come to winning multiple times. Tomara meanwhile asked if anyone felt like they were coasting, with everyone looking directly at Kate Butch and while she assured us she wasn’t pressed. She was. Though I do agree that it is better to coast than be stuck on the rollercoaster like some of the other dolls. Like say, Tomara and Cara.

The next day the dolls were energised and thriving, with Michael focused and ready to finally get her win. Before Banksie could knock any of the dolls down a peg, Ru arrived to put the dolls through their paces in a mini challenge to become the face of new nut-based yoghurt S.P.N.K. And the icon herself, Raven, would be taking the photos. Maybe. The dolls got into quick drag before Michael slayed with smut, Naomi was ratchet, DeDe lost her wig – again – while Ginger was demented. And glorious. Kate was a rabid grot, Cara got physical, Tomara was packing while Banksie was adorably hilarious and Vicki showed hole. Almost. So that is a win to me.

Despite that, it was Tomara who took out the win, which allowed her to pick teams for this week’s maxi challenge where they would be hosting RuPaul Disasterclasses. Wisely, she grabbed Michael and Ginger for herself, then grouped Naomi, DeDe and Kate together, leaving Banksie, Vicki and Cara as the third group. Michael and Co were talking Party, Naomi and Co would tackle Werk while Banksie’s babes would advise on Love.

The dolls split up to talk through the plan with Michael oozing charm and confidence, with Tomara admitting she knew Ginger and Michael were her best shot at the win. And TBH, she doesn’t care about how the other dolls go. Vicki meanwhile pointed out they were team winners, before Vicki spoke about meeting her partner on the apps and Banksie opened up about her partner who is a trans woman. And while they didn’t appear to have much cohesion, Vicki felt she needed to focus on not controlling and as such, stayed silent. Kate meanwhile was trying to help her girls find their confidence and knock it out of the park.

Ru dropped by to check-in with her daughters with Team Party explaining that they will teach bringing the north-east spirit to wherever you are in the world. Team Love were congenial AF, feeling comfortable talking about their own lives and encouraging people to define themselves. Though Ru was concerned they would struggle to find the jokes. Ru meanwhile learnt Yorkshire slang as the dolls spoke Werk, though Kate was the one doing the learning, as Ru questioned her drinking habits. After Ru departed the teams were confident in their ability to be funny, except maybe Cara. Tomara meanwhile checked if the dolls were happy with the teams, before admitting she chose her team because she isn’t dumb.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone splitting up to beat their mugs as Banksie and Vicki bonded over their relationships, with the former beautifully sharing how her understanding of sexuality changed as part of the process of her girlfriend’s own coming out process.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by Suranne Jones on the panel as Team Werk took the stage and while DeDe dripped charm, Naomi was a little eaten up by nerves – the rambling – and forgot her jokes, while Kate, obviously, was light and fun, keeping things moving and ugh, she was good. Team Party meanwhile were all perfect all the time, dropping genuine pearls of wisdom amongst the wall to wall jokes. Making fun of themselves and having the time of their lives. While Team Love were a bit of a bomb, despite all of them desperately trying to bring the energy. Vicki, however, did have some solid jokes and that should count for something. That is until she couldn’t even tell her sisters apart.

When it came to the Slaycation runway, DeDe gave demented dame in the American south. Kate served scuba chic, Naomi gave ski Barbie realness, Tomara gave snow skank in all the right ways while Michael was a work of art on the beach. Ginger gave intergalactic traveller, Vicki was a camp cowgirl, Cara gave sexy Storm before Bakisie closed the show giving fur and animal print and ugh, it was wild. And stunning.

Tomara, Ginger and Michael were deemed the winners before they were sent to untuck. DeDe was praised for being solid in the challenge and looking stunning on the runway. And for trying to soften her make-up. Kate rightly was beloved for being a stunning host and bringing all the jokes in the challenge. And for thinking outside the box on the runway, despite it being a little boring. And the blonde being a mess. While Naomi was read for lacking all the jokes and bringing no funny in the challenge, though they loved her runway. Vicki meanwhile was praised for the energy in the challenge and the runway, before throwing her sisters under the bus. Particularly Banksie, given she hated the moderation. Cara meanwhile was praised for almost being funny, though read for giving nothing of herself. Though her runway was beloved. Banksie on the other hand was deemed the highlight of the team and praised for her look.

Oh and she was not happy with the other dolls for throwing her under the bus. Opening up to Ru about the fact she made two mistakes, reclaiming the shade and making the others looki petty. And oh so pressed.

Backstage the dolls were thrilled to jag their badges however they couldn’t even talk shit before the bottoms joined them. DeDe quickly admitted she was safe, as was Kate while Naomi was prepared to be in the bottom. Cara meanwhile spoke about feeling disappointed before Vicki tried to school Banksie about throwing her under the bus, for throwing her under the bus and well, it was glorious. The duo then went in on Banksie and while Cara felt she was not worse than Banksie, the latter was fed up and stormed out. Cara then tried to explain to the other girls, with Kate wisely pointing out Cara is being a dick. And well, it was wonderful.

Ultimately DeDe and Kate were sent to safety as Naomi landed in the bottom two. Ru then sent Vicki and Banksie to join the safe girls, leaving Cara to battle Naomi. And prove that Cara truly was worse than Banksie. Despite what she felt. As soon as Yazz’s The Only Way Is Up kicked off, however, it was clear that the panel was going to be Cara’s only stumble this week as she knocked it out of the park, giving camp comedy, every lyric and even air drum. And while Naomi held her own despite her knee injury, there was no eliminating Cara as Naomi found herself exiting the competition. Before uttering the greatest exit line of all time – see you in a bit, dogshit, indeed.

As she arrived backstage, I scooped her up in my arms and gave her a massive hug to thank her for being such a sweet icon. I carried her over to the couch to avoid ruining her good knee before explaining that while usually the first boots are the only ones we remember, after so many non-eliminations this season, she will always be remembered. Plus, her voice is so beautiful that she has won hearts all over the world. And that, my friends, is all it takes to earn a Missionfruit Naomeringue Cartouign-amann.

This glorious little pastry may be a lot of work, but TBH, the feeling of satisfaction of knowing you pulled it off is half as good as the taste. And the taste is simply glorious. Flaky and melt in the mouth, with a velvety meringue and a tart kick of passionfruit, it is perfect.

Enjoy!

Missionfruit Naomeringue Cartouign-amann
Serves: 12.

Ingredients
1 recipe David Croissant
2 cup raw caster sugar
1 tbsp kosher salt
4 egg whites
pinch of cream of tartar
3-4 passionfruit

Method
Prepare the pastry as per David’s recipe, all the way up to the final shaping, at which point switch out to this one.

Preheat the oven to 190C.

Sprinkle raw caster sugar over the bench and top with the pastry. Rotate 90 degrees and sprinkle with more sugar. Fold in half, roll flat, sprinkle with sugar and fold again. Sprinkle more sugar and roll the dough out to be half a centimetre thickness. Cut the dough into 8cm squares and, you guessed it, sprinkle it with more sugar.

Grease a 12-hole texas muffin pan with butter and sprinkle with 1 teaspoon of salt and a pinch of salt to coat. Press each square into the muffin holes and pinch the corners to meet in the centre. Leave to stand for 15 minutes before popping in the oven to bake for 30 minus, or until golden and crisp.

Remove the pastries from the pan and transfer to a wire rack, upside down, for 15 minutes to let the sugar set.

Meanwhile combine 200g of sugar and 200ml water in a small saucepan and bring to the boil, stirring continuously with a wooden spoon until the sugar dissolves. Reduce heat to medium and brush down sides of pan to remove sugar crystals. Leave to boil undisturbed until it reaches 115C.

Start whisking the egg whites and cream of tartar in a stand mixer on medium, until soft peaks form. Once the syrup hits 121C, increase the speed of the stand mixer to high and still running, slowly pour the syrup into the meringue. Reduce to medium and cook until cooled to room temperature and the meringue is thick and glossy. About 15 minutes or so.

Pipe the meringue into the centre of the pastries, top with some passionfruit pulp and leave to rest for about half an hour to set. Then, finally, devour.

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Cider Mimosabiyah Broderick

Drink, Survivor, Survivor 45, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Bruce was still all energy, at an 11 at any and all moments, which continued to drive Katurah absolutely mental. And given it was annoying me through the TV, I love her even more. Kellie and Brando meanwhile were busy playing in the middle of Belo, given both the girls and boys wanted to take control with them. If they ever go to tribal council, that is. At Reba, Austin had the beware advantage and secured a majority with Drew as he emerged as an icon, against everything I was expecting. Over at Lulu, Sabiyah released the idol from the tree only to learn she had to melt it out of wax to activate it. And while they didn’t have fire, it wasn’t necessary as after Emily was reborn thanks to Kaleb’s advice, Brandon was booted.

Back at camp Emily was grateful to have been spared, with everyone agreeing that she at least contributes in challenges and as such, that is why she was kept. Sabiyah admitted she also liked her and as such, she returned her Shot in the Dark and the four agreed they could now move forward with trust. That is until Emily quickly ran the maths and realised that only three people voted and asked if one of them didn’t vote. Before she went one step further and questioned Sabiyah about whether she was the one that didn’t vote. And while Sabiyah denied it and Emily kinda let it go, it is clear that these two still have a ways to go if we want them to make it to the end.

The next day Jake was trying to breathe like into the fire and then collapsed and had a mild seizure and yeah, it was scary to watch and I don’t like it. Kendra, thankfully, was way more zen, sitting him down and making sure he was ok before grabbing him some water. The duo bonded over how much they were loving being on Survivor, before Kendra admitted that she was initially nervous of him and wanted to target him for being a lawyer. They continued to bond and be adorbs, TBH, making me feel like this womens’ alliance is over before it began.

Over at Reba, the starving tribe were contemplating what they would eat, as a crab literally hung out in their pot. Austin meanwhile was focused on jagging his idol, pulling Drew aside to stand watch. As Austin dug about and Drew loitered in the shrubs, Dee was busy asking Julie if she felt something was off between Austin and Drew. Right on cue, the ladies walked up on Drew digging and while he awkwardly wandered off, Drew expertly threw out a lie that they caught Sifu digging and as such wanted to jag whatever it was before he did. Dee being an icon, however, was wary and knew to keep an eye on the boys, lest it ruin their alliance before they even attended tribal council.

The tribes caught up with Probst for the first reward challenge of the season where they would race into shore and toss a ball into a trough before running through an obstacle and catching it. Once they get through, they would release rings and then land them on a post for massive plates of fruit. And the victors would get to loot something from one of the losing tribes. Lulu miraculously got out to an early lead and despite Emily axing herself on the first run of the obstacles, they managed to stay in front and landed all their rings before anyone even started tossing. As they celebrated, the other tribes desperately fought for second before Reba snatched it, leaving Belo with nothing.

After Reba and Belo were sent away, Lulu locked in Kaleb as their representative as he ventured off to raid. Only for him to discover he also had a Goodwill Advantage to give to one of his new friends, which grants them the power to restore a lost vote at a single tribal council. As the other tribes speculated about their plans, Kaleb arrived at Reba and quickly got to work bonding with everyone, as Sifu and J. Maya put on a little show. Kaleb then snatched their fishing gear before asking to talk to each of them one on one, before deciding to hand the advantage to Drew given he has already proven to be a gamer as he participated on the journey. Oh and then he assured them he will tell Lulu to work with them should there be a swap before he departed.

As Drew quickly looped in Austin, Dee and Julie on his new advantage.

Back at Lulu the tribe joyously smashed their fruit, thrilled to finally have a taste of victory and hopeful to be vibing with energy at the next immunity challenge. And after a full belly, Sean and Sabiyah loved Emily’s newfound energy and as such, decided they could bring her in on their alliance and potentially get rid of Kaleb if they have to return to tribal council, given he is so strong in challenges and would dominate if he is allowed to get to the final three. They then pulled Emily in to float the idea and while she knows she is on the outs and therefore would vote for anyone if they go back to tribal council, I still think she is more likely to stick with Kaleb.

Over at Belo the tribe were zen as the boys fished and lived their best lives, while the girls remained at camp and discussed Jake and whether they could work with him. Katurah obviously suggested that he would be a way better person to work with rather than Bruce. Kellie meanwhile was torn, given she and Brando are the swing votes and as such, approached him to see which way he was leaning.

Meanwhile at Reba, Austin admitted to Julie and Dee that he just found a Beware Advantage and as such, they all went hunting for the idol to help him get his vote back. Thankfully Dee and Julie found a rope, leading them to a hammer which directed them to smash a rock near the water well. Before they handed it off to Austin who finally jagged the idol and learnt it is only good for one tribal council, unless he sacrifices a vote to make it last to the merge. And if he sacrifices another vote, it would be good all the way up to the final five. And while Dee wanted to keep it for herself, she was glad they got to prove trust, as a strong alliance is worth so much more.

The tribes came together with Jeffrey for the latest immunity challenge where they would race through a course to release keys and collect puzzle pieces before using them to solve a massive cube puzzle. Belo and Reba got out to an early lead before Lulu closed the gap and started to overtake Reba. As is oft the case, the puzzle was the great equaliser as everyone grew more and more confused. And Bruce grew more and more frustrated, annoying even the rival tribes. Before Reba got the puzzle out of nowhere, quickly followed by Belo, sending poor Lulu back to tribal council yet again.

To the strings of heartbroken music, no less.

Back at camp things were well and truly flat, as everyone was angry about the fact they are the only ones that even know what attending tribal council is like. Kaleb quickly locked in the vote against Emily, as Sabiyah and Kaleb agreed to suggest the other to keep her calm enough to not play her Shot in the Dark. Oh and Sabiyah plans to melt her idol in the fire at tribal council to get her vote back. She then caught up with Emily, telling her about her idol plans and while that was done to try and build trust with her, it actually made Emily nervous about the fact she kept it a secret from her for 4 days. As such, Emily caught up with Kaleb and let him know that he is the actual plan tonight. Sadly for her though, he isn’t exactly sure about that, given that is the plan he and Sabiyah planned to tell Emily and as such, he isn’t sure who to trust.

At tribal council Sabiyah immediately got to melting her idol free as she filled Jeff in on what was going on. And damn, this is camp as hell and is 100% why I love this show. Kaleb meanwhile spoke about the camp raid and how they got fishing gear, though can’t actually cook anything yet, so at least he got information too. Emily spoke about feeling responsible for being back at tribal council, and while she would love to stay, she still feels like she is on the bottom of the tribe. Which Sabiyah agreed with, either truthfully or to lull Kaleb into a false sense of security. She then pulled her scroll off the grill to cool down as Kaleb admitted Emily spent the afternoon trying to find a way to stay, with everyone agreeing that she could have painted anyone as a target. Before Sabiyah packed her idol in her pocket.

With that the tribe voted and Sabiyah learnt about the fact she would have to risk her vote if she wanted to extend the life of her idol, which she obviously chose to do. Sadly for her, Kaleb heeded Emily’s warnings as the duo banded together to blindside Sabiyah from the game with a still active idol in her pocket.

She followed the sound of my sobbing cries all the way from tribal council to Loser Lodge before sweeping me in for a massive hug and assured me that everything would be fine. Despite only lasting a few episodes, Sabiyah well and truly left a mark on the game and arguably, will go down as one of the most iconic pre-mergers of the new era. Recency bias, be damned. After drying my eyes, I thanked her for her televisual service and toasted her return ASAP with a Cider Mimosabiyah Broderick or two.

Given we’re on a literal slay ride to Christmas, I am well and truly in the festive spirit and this little cocktail is a perfect way to start. Light and spicy, it is perfect for a Thanksgiving or Christmas brunch. Or afternoon tea. Or lunch. Or just because, hey, it’s Wednesday, no judgement.

Enjoy!

Cider Mimosabiyah Broderick
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
¼ cup raw caster sugar
2 tsp cinnamon
120ml spiced rum
240ml apple cider
480ml chilled sparkling wine
apple, sliced, to garnish

Method
Combine the sugar and cinnamon in a bowl and wet the rim of two glasses with cider. Dip in the cinnamon sugar to coat.

Pour half the rum in each glass, followed by half the cider and then top with sparkling. Add a slice of apple to the rim then, most importantly, down.

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Apple & Almond Cinnamoon Bun

Baking, Dessert, Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France the dolls got into the dirtiest of quick drags before popping the hands in jars of, well, dirty stuff, to find keys. After using the keys to unlock the Pit Crew’s package, Keiona took out victory which gave her the power to cast this week’s maxi challenge, the rusical – Le Bossu de Notre Drag. Despite being filled with an overwhelming sense of dread after another stellar performance, Keiona finally took out her first, very well deserved win of the season. At the other end of the strong pack, Ginger and Punani landed in the bottom. And after spending Untucked fighting with Cookie, rather than practising, Ginger found herself booted while sweet Punani lived to fight another day.

Backstage the dolls farewelled their fallen sister, though were more focused on how disappointed they were that she had left the competition angry. Cookie obviously felt very emotional, given they are friends and just wished they could have talked in the moment rather than her holding it in until Untucked. Things got more positive as they turned their attention to Keiona finally getting her win and well, like her, I am feeling it and look forward to her getting many more. While Punani was just feeling energised after being in the bottom and ready to dominate the rest of the season. And since I love her, I support it.

The next day the dolls rolled in in a mime car and spoke about their track records, with Cookie and Moon ready to ride their upward momentum to a victory. Forgetting that I am already busy willing Keiona to another, but I digress. After a signature cocorico, Nicky dropped by to put the dolls through their paces in a live lip sync mini challenge. Featuring Bilal on the mic, while they would be rocking their best 15 minute quick drag. And while it was wild and confusing, Keiona and Cookie slayed it all, Punani was a silly delight, Sara was demented, Moon was smutty, Mami lost her wig and well, it was fun but I’m not sure what exactly the criteria was. Though Punani won, so I am happy.

And with it, came a minor advantage in this week’s maxi challenge, the Time Ball. Category One would see them design an outfit in honour of their heroines, the second would serve futuristic chic while the third would see them design an outfit for prom out of items from a child’s bedroom. With the aforementioned advantage being an extra 10s to loot items before the other dolls joined the brawl. And while she grabbed a tonne in that time, it didn’t stop things from quickly dissolving into chaos as the rest snatched anything in sight.

Nicky and the Pit Crew departed as the dolls split up to go through their hauls with Punani just vibing, Keiona thrilled to go fully fluffy while Sara luxuriated on her mattress. Thankfully Nicky made a speedy return to check in on her girls, with Keiona sharing her plans for a stunning gown, while Nicky was concerned about her fabric. Punani on the other hand was worried she would be a failure, Sara was going to literally have a mattress on her back, Cookie was confident while Moon was trying to bring euphoria after the dysphoria she experienced during the previous challenge. Oh and Mami was planning to bring full glamour. After Nicky left, Keiona and Mami started a conversation about how we as queer people often live in fear of violence. And the fact they all had a personal experience shows just how prevalent it is.

We immediately arrived at the ball where Nicky, Daphne and Kiddy were joined on the panel by Christian Louboutin and Léna Situations. Punani opened the Héroïne du passé category in honour of her grandmother as a pink and green beauty queen and well, it was a slay. Mami also slayed in a suit in honour of Grace Jones and ugh, it looked GOOD. Moon slayed as a gypsy queen, Sara gave sexy writer realness, Cookie was polished as her flamenco dancer grandmother, before Keiona slayed as a stunning Josephone Baker, complete with a little strip moment.

On the Futuristic Chic runway, Punani served as a cyborg CEO, complete with QR codes to her own instagram filter. Mami gave bridal, floral robot, Moon gave future rocker, Sara gave glamour toad from Super Mario, Cookie was a shiny, sparkling fighter and Keiona slayed in a yellow gown with the world’s longest ponytail. When it came to their Reine du bal looks, Punani gave a pastel patchworked dream, Mami too was patchworked, though rocked it in blue and with a train. Moon meanwhile meant from gloom to glam with her yellow gown, Sara was a neon, colour blocked, well, something. Before Cookie slayed as a punk rocker in all the right ways before Keiona slayed her third of three looks, giving anime and shimmering in silver.

Punani was praised for showing all the versatility across her three looks, as did Mami, though mainly for slaying her made look. Moon was beloved for living everything she sold on the runway. Sara’s first two looks were beloved, though they hated the look she whipped up. Cookie meanwhile got us back to wall to wall praise as did Keiona, but honestly, are we even surprised by that at this point?

Before sending the dolls to untuck, Nicky asked them who they would send home, with everyone clearly wanting to make the most of Sara’s run at the bottom, and singling her out in front of the judges. Backstage she was pressed to be the one the dolls wanted to go, until Moon started to break down about being in the bottom and having to lip sync against her bestie Sara. She tried to hold back tears as she realised that she could not possibly stay any longer; emotional and spent, she just wanted to go home and look after her mental health. Which is oh, so valid.

After praising all the dolls for slaying the ball, Nicky announced that both Keiona and Cookie took out the win. With both scoring a pair of Louboutins. Mami and Punani were then sent to safety before Moon stepped forward to announce that there would be no need for the lip sync as instead, she would like to go home. And ugh, it was heartbreaking to see her go, but empowering to see her make the choice to look after herself. Unlike Down Under, however, the top five lip synced after giving Moon a standing ovation as she made her way out the door.

As she arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and thanked her for not just slaying the competition, but doing it with so much heart. And while I was sad we wouldn’t get to watch her slay any further, I was happy to know she was listening to herself and knew when to prioritise her health. And that is truly iconic. Iconic and more than deserving of a piping hot Apple & Almond Cinnamoon Bun.

How do you improve upon the majesty of a cinnamon bun? Add apples and almonds, of course! Gloriously sweet, with a subtle nuttiness, this fluffy little buns will have you comes back for more and more and more.

Enjoy!

Apple & Almond Cinnamoon Bun
Serves: 8-12.

Ingredients
325g unsalted butter, chopped
2 cups milk
7g sachet active dry yeast
150g raw caster sugar
1 tsp kosher salt
1 tsp almond essence
6 cups flour
2 tbsp ground cinnamon, plus extra to sprinkle
2 granny smith apples, grated
½ cup flaked almonds
2 eggs
raw sugar, to sprinkle

Method
Melt 175g of the butter in a saucepan over low heat before removing from the heat, and stirring in the milk and leaving to cool to just under 40°C. Stir in the yeast, half the sugar, the salt and almond essence, and leave to foam for about five minutes.

Transfer the liquid to a large bowl of an electric mixer and slowly add the flour, stirring by hand with the dough hook. When it is starting to come together, attach the dough hook and turn the mixer on medium speed until smooth, a couple of minutes.

Remove the dough to an oiled (second) large bowl, cover with a tea towel and leave to prove until doubled in size, or about an hour and a half.

Preheat the oven to 225°C.

While the dough is proving and the oven is heating, mash the remaining butter in a bowl and mix with the remaining sugar, cinnamon, apple and flaked almonds until smooth.

Once the dough is ready, knock it back, turn it out onto a floured bench and roll it out until it is a large ½cm rectangle. Smear the apple, cinnamon and almond butter very liberally over the top and roll the dough lengthways to form a long cylinder.

Slice the cinnamon, doughy sausage in half, half again … and half again, and half again (or just evenly, depending on how tall you want them to be) until you reach the magic number – I prefer mine to be fat, so cut the 8 into 3 to make 24.

Place each disc in a square of baking parchment and leave them to sit, a couple of centimetres apart on baking sheets. When they are all lined up, cover with a tea towel and allow to prove a further 30 minutes.

When they are ready to roll – pun obviously intended – whisk the eggs and brush the buns before coating liberally with sugar.

Bake for 10-15 minutes or until golden and glorious. Then devour, like a sweet, iconic, boss.

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Ginger Beerch

Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Drink, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France the dolls played le Snatch Game, which I believe is a perfect translation, despite my middling grasp of the French language. As is oft the case with the foreign seasons, I may not have been completely across the celebs they were playing, but I could tell when people were landing and tragicaly, when they weren’t (mainly due to rattlesnake cues). Moon, Keiona and Punani were the former and absolutely slayed – the latter in front of the person she was playing – while Ginger, Sara and Piche bombed. And tragically, despite winning a challenge, Piche was somehow eliminated over Ginger. I assume because she couldn’t do shit in the lip sync wearing that (killer) runway.

Backstage the dolls were feeling just as heartbroken as I was to see Piche exit so soon, with Punani toasting her for being a sickening performer, despite her shyness. Ginger meanwhile was proud of how hard she fought in the lip sync, despite the gown, though was grateful to have another chance to shine this week. Which did not bother Keiona one bit, who was ready to escalate from high to a win, finally. Everyone came together to praise Punani for an absolute breakout week and seeing her grow in confidence, despite being quieter than some of her sisters, was a delight. But when they started to shade Keiona for being high yet again, you know it was the final bit of petrol on the fire and she is ready to demolish each and every one of them. Like a damn icon.

This week the dolls played hide and seek as they returned to the Werk Room with Sara hilariously winning that too. Because she is what? A winner. The clock struck cocorico, signalling the arrival of sweet Nicky, to send them to Fort Boyard for a little mini challenge. And after a cheeky little wikipedia, I am excited. The dolls joined the zaddy Pit Crew to find keys to unlock their cock cages by dipping their hands into random crap. Cookie dipped her hand in shit – or nutella, I hope – Punani got hair, Sara squealed through thick slime, Moon got toy snakes, Ginger got the wet sponge in honour of Monet, Keiona bossed some spiky toys and Mami fingered pasta. One by one the dolls tried their keys, with Keiona coming out victorious. Winning a puffer vest which is clearly bad in France, so let the private school kids and Queen St cowboys know asap.

With that out of the way, Nicky announced that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would star in the rusical, Le Bossu de Notre Drag. And for winning the mini challenge, Keiona had the power to assign the roles, making her even more popular with her sisters. They sat down to listen to the musical, with all the dolls excitedly vibing with the script before coming back together for Keiona to wield her powers by letting everyone list their top three preferences and filling the roles that way. She ultimately kept the lead role of Quasimolo for herself, giving the narrator to Cookie, Boulangère to Mami and Moon got Malo. Ginger meanwhile got pressed about Sara and Punani working together – and taking a role she wanted – while Cookie sided with the quiet duo, leaving Ginger with the role that nobody wanted.

Jour d’elimination quickly arrived with everyone stressed about performing live on the mainstage, though thankfully, they felt more united amongst the chaos. As they beat their mugs, Keiona opened up about cutting her father off for being judgemental though hilariously just hoped to make him regret it now that she is a star. Punani meanwhile spoke about how her parents came around to drag when realising it is more than just dressing up. This turned conversation to the perception that it is a hypersexualised profession and how it is great that Drag Race has changed how it is viewed. Well, except in America but don’t get me started on that. Moon meanwhile spoke about how she fought to play a man in the rusical to fight against the fact she had to break out of the male coded body to finally live her truth and ugh, I love her too.

Nicky, Daphne and Kiddy were joined by Barbara Butch and Juliette Armanet on the panel as the dolls put on the opening and closing night of Le Bossu de Notre Drag. And like Spain before them, it was loooooonnnnngg. Though also very good. Not Season 6 Adore vs. Courtney good, but it was good. Particularly Keiona, Cookie and Moon who were pitch perfect in each and every moment. Nicky meanwhile was crying from the panel, grateful to all of them for working so hard and delighting each and every one of them. Daphne was crying, Juliette was crying and ugh, it was beautiful to see the full cast get their roses.

On the Excess Couture runway Cookie was stunning in a little black dress with a big, pink train and ugh, did I mention it was stunning? Even if the pink looked like a scrunchie. Sara was stunning as she served seamstress chic, Keiona slayed in a stunning, voluminous, deep teal floral gown – just give her a win finally, damn it – Punani served wire hanger and a cute green gown, Ginger was wrapped in a giant belt in honour of Gaultier, Moon slayed in a camp cowgirl showerpuff number, and Mami slayed in a pastel pink, puffy bowed jumpsuit.

The judges praised everyone for slaying the runway ahead of lavishing Cookie for being absolutely stunning on the runway and a star in the rusical. Sara was praised for working so well with Punani and for giving such a creative, camp runway. Keiona was beloved for everything she did this week, from the ballroom inspired runway to getting gritty and warm in the rusical, making all of the judges truly feel something. Punani was praised for a strong performance in the rusical and for looking good on the runway, though they admitted they felt she was outshone by Sara. Ginger’s runway was beloved and while they felt she did well in the rusical, they needed her to change her makeup to avoid looking like a villain. Moon got us back to more wall to wall, overt praise; beloved for taking a risk and pulling it off. While they lived for Mami’s runway and for her being so much fun in the rusical.

Backstage the dolls were thrilled about how well received they all were this week, though unsure what it meant for the lip sync, since they were so good. As they spoke about how well cast the rusical was, Ginger spoke out and said she wasn’t happy to have been left with the dud role and as such was worried it would land her in the bottom. This fired up Cookie – who got the role she wanted – with her frankly calling her bitter as they bickered back and forth. Thankfully Keiona reminded her she was still great in the role, but was immediately shut down by the feuders to let them continue.

Ultimately Keiona rightly took out her first win of the season to the delighted applause of her sisters. Cookie, Moon, Mami and Sara were then sent to safety, leaving Punani and Ginger to lip sync for the lives. Because despite the judges agreeing the dolls were all perfect in the challenge, someone must go. Punani then said it was her second lip sync for her life, curiously, as Le dernier jour du disco by Juliette and while Punani wasn’t confident as a lip syncer, she felt each and every moment and absolutely slayed, giving all the drama. Ginger meanwhile was camp and fun, though tragically similar to last week’s performance, which was enough to save our dear Punani and send Ginger to the house. Bitch.

As she returned to the Werk Room, I pulled her in for a massive hug and praised her for being such a delightful, uplifting icon. While she may not have made it as far as she would have liked, she made an impression on our hearts and I reminded her that TBH, that is all that really matters. Which was a super half-arsed peptalk, but it was also highly effective and as such, we simply toasted her run with a cool glass of Ginger Beerch.

I know, I know – why make a ginger beer when you could just by one. But honestly, you haven’t lived until you’ve had it fresh; warming and zingy, it is the perfect beverage for curing what ails ya’.

Enjoy!

Ginger Beerch
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 cups raw caster sugar
300g fresh ginger, peeled and thinly sliced
1 cup lemon juice
1L soda water
ice, to serve

Method
Pop the sugar and ginger in saucepan with a litre of water and cook, stirring over low heat, until the sugar has dissolved. Bring to a simmer and cook for about 20 minutes, or until a gloriously pungent syrup has formed. Strain and leave to cool.

Once the ginger is chill, pour into a jug with the lemon juice and give a good stir. Then stir in the soda water and serve over ice. With or without a sprig of mint, for extra freshness. Then down.

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Pichuan Pork Dumplings

Drag Race France, Drag Race France 2, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France Nicky took a page out of UK-Ru’s book and tasked the dolls with hosting a little morning show. Part acting challenge, part skit, like in the UK it was a little hit and miss. But when there were hits, they were fantastic. Specifically Moon’s weather report, which was robbed of victory like she was Keiona – who was also perfect yet again – as Sara took out another win. Which was well deserved too, but I digress. At the other end of the pack, Mami once again narrowly avoided the bottom as Cookie slayed the lip sync and sent sweet Kitty packing.

Backstage the dolls gathered round the ‘ol mirror message to toast their fallen sister, with Moon in particular sad to have lost her closest confidante. Cookie meanwhile was glad that if she must keep landing in the bottom, at least she is coming across as an assassin. Everyone turned their attention back to Sara, praising her for earning her second win. Though don’t pretend they were back to back because Zaddy Piche is right there and will gladly send you home if you forget she won week two, Cookie! With the two bottoms.

The next day the dolls were focused on literacy as they ran through their spelling, before Mami assured us that this week, she will stop being a bottom. Even though we’re all bottoms. They speculated what they could possibly face this week, with Mami scoffing at Cookie’s wish for Snatch Game. Right on cocorico, Nicky arrived to pop the dolls down on their knees in front of each other. For a little wedding mini challenge, sickos, mind out of the gutter! The couples paired up and then split off to get into matrimonial quick drag before Drag King Elvis was wheeled out to marry the dolls. First up were Ginger and Piche who gave ‘80s rocker in all the right, messed up, trashy ways and I love it. Mami Watte and Keiona were bright, ditsy and silly, Cookie and Moon were nerdy delights while Sara and Punani looked like low rent Princess Di and Fergie and TBH, it makes me wish those two got married and were able to live happy lives.

THEN the dolls had their legs tied together and had to play a three legged race to collect items from the Werk Room and return to their seats, musical chairs style. Because why stop at the quick drag silliness? Punani and Sara were first out after failing to jag a red or pink shoe. Two tights cost Mami and Keiona before Ginger and Piche couldn’t find the flowers themselves – Dalloway style – leaving Cookie and Moon to take out victory and a prize of wedding cake. Sadly though, that was it for the reward as for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would, in fact, be playing Snatch Game.

After Nicky departed Punani shared with the dolls that she had been planning on playing Amanda Lear in Snatch Game, who tragically is one of the guest judges this week. Filling everyone with nerves on her behalf. Sara and Cookie meanwhile realised they both brought the same character which led to an epic fight between the frontrunner and the queen of the bottoms, with the latter wanting her star moment and to break out of her funk. While Sara, like an icon, was just happy with the two of them to commit and see who comes out on top.

Nicky dropped by for a kiki with Cookie locking in her plans to play Johnny Hallyday, while Sara shared that in addition to him, she also had Françoise Sagan as a back-up. With Nicky sweetly telling her to just do what she thinks is right, rather than changing because she thinks she should. Nicky was gagged again to learn of Punani selecting Amanda Lear, Ginger would be doing Victoria Silvstedt, Moon brought Brigitte Fontaine, Keiona would be playing Afida Turner, Piche was locked in on Geneviève de Fontenay and Mami was playing Shauna Sand.

We did an immediate pivot to the set where Eddy de Pretto and genuine Amanda Lear took their places on the panel as the dolls kicked things off. Cookie was having an absolute ball as Johnny, Punani was perfection as Amanda in front of Amanda, Keiona was all energy and jokes as Afida Turner, Ginger was a vampy icon while Piche was a little subdued. Moon was hilarious as Brigitte by way of Ozzy Osbourne – I think – while Mami was so silly as Shauna while Sara was solid but a little lost, despite not being able to do her first choice. Punani, Moon and Keiona went from strength to strength throughout the challenge, while Ginger and Sara faded, while Piche was tragically thus there.

Jour d’élimination arrived with the dolls thrilled to have made it through Snatch Game, with only Moon, Keiona and Punani (rightly) confident about how they went. Piche meanwhile realised it was a shit show and how much she hated it, instead mulling over who would be lip syncing against her as they beat their mugs. Sara was confident it would be her, given her fight with Cookie had really gotten into her head. Talk turned to the protests around marriage equality ten years ago, with Ginger talking about how it united the community and allowed them to have fun along the way, with everyone just grateful to now have the same rights as the rest of France. And ugh, it is both triggering and exciting all at once.

Nicky, Kiddy and Daphne were joined by Eddy and Amanda again, this time on the judging panel, as Piche kicked off the Under the Sea runway giving Kate Winslet in Titanic complete with the door which, TBH, should earn her safety for that alone. I mean, she even had Leo frozen in her back! Punani gave technicolour swamp thing amoeba in all the right ways, Moon stunned as a sexy pink and pearl fish, Sara went from floating trash to a golden fish gown, Ginger served sea slug realness by way of Roz from Monsters Inc, Mami slayed as sexy Spongebob – not the ick that is the Broadway version, FYI – before Cookie served drama as an epic wave and Keiona gave glamour jellyfish, which also reminded me of Kate Winslet’s hat in Titanic. Which is a compliment.

Cookie and Mami were sent to safety before Piche’s runway received wall to wall praise while her Snatch Game was read. Wall to wall. Punani meanwhile was beloved for each and every thing she gave this week, particularly for being brave enough to play Amanda in front of Amanda. They loved everything Moon did from the runway to Snatch Game, before poor Sara was read for not being in the moment for Snatch Game, though they (mostly) loved her runway. While Ginger was read for just rocking a gown on the runway and for crumbling under the pressure of being a funny girl on Snatch Game and Keiona, obvi, received only positives. Particularly for her stunning runway and once again, surprising with a dominant comedy performance.

Backstage the safe dolls were thrilled to be out of their slump before Mami pointed out that Sara is probs in the bottom, questioning if Cookie felt bad. And spoiler, she didn’t. The tops and bottoms dropped by with Piche still sure she’d be lip syncing despite that killer runway. Sara on the other hand felt like she would definitely be lip syncing in her place, due to the outfit, while Ginger assured them that everything she did was hated and as such, they only have one spot left in the bottom. While poor Punani just assured them all that they should still be proud of themselves, despite how they feel they went.

Ultimately it was Punani who took out a very well deserved win, leaving Keiona to once again finish in the top, this week alongside Moon. At the other end of the pack, it was Sara’s track record that saved her from the bottom, leaving Piche and Ginger to battle for safety. And while I was sure Piche was going to absolutely dominate, as soon as Je vais vite by Lorie kicked off, it was clear Ginger was not going down without a fight. After stripping off, she got all the energy while Piche started to struggle to make it work in a gown. Which was tragically all it took to eliminate her from the competition, as the robbed goddess of the season. And ugh, I am angry.

It was easy for Piche to find me backstage, simply following my rage-fuelled howling as I sobbed over all that we lost. Aka the trade of the season who is also super talented. As soon as I saw her enter the Werk Room, I ran into her arms and sobbed as I told her how frustrating it was to leave her so soon. Given she has been nothing but stunning each and every week, and had an absolutely winning runway. Eventually I got my breathing under control and reminded myself that being a robbed goddess generally works out better for anyone other than the winner and as such she’ll be doing just fine. Which allowed me to make a pivot as hard as Ross Gellar’s and toast her success with a piping hot batch of Pichuan Pork Dumplings.

Spicy and sweet, these glorious little dumplings are the perfect way to distract from pain or feelings of existential dread – but do you guys ever think about dying? – and leave you feeling both satisfied and wanting more.

Enjoy!

Pichuan Pork Dumplings
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
300g pork mince
100g wombok, finely chopped
1 tbsp finely chopped chives
3 garlic cloves, minced
2 tsp minced ginger
1 tbsp tamari
2 tsp fish sauce
1 tsp Chinese rice wine
1 tsp raw caster sugar
1 tsp ground white pepper
½ tsp ground szechuan peppercorns
40 gow gee wrappers

Method
Combine everything but the gow gee wrappers in a large bowl and mix together with your hands. Cover, pop in the fridge and leave to marinate for an hour.

Lay out the wrappers on a bench and place a tablespoon of filling in the centre of each. Dip a finger in water and wet the edges before folding, pleating and mashing them closed – depending on skill level or care for the aesthetic. Repeat the process until they are all gone.

To cook, get a steamer going over high heat and cook the dumplings, 5-10 at a time depending on the size, for about 5-10 minutes, or until the wrapper is gorgeously soft and silky and the filling cooked. Repeat until all dumplings are done, replenishing the water as needed.

Devour immediately with whatever sauce you fancy. Though I obviously advise a spicy little mayo.

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White Chocolate and Jimboconut Bundt

Baking, Cake, Dessert, RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on All Stars, Ru assembled 12 queens in need of some form of redemption, either for themselves or in the eyes of the fandom. And well, they came to race! Well, except for Jimbo, of course, who was frank about the fact she solely came to cruise. One by one the dolls were eliminated – or quit, we miss you Heidi! – before Kandy booked her place in her second top two alongside the iconic, cruising Canadian import, Jimbo. Friends from the start, the duo were thrilled to have made it to the end together to compete for the crown. Only to be put on pause for a week – as many a housewife has claimed (love you Dorinda!) – as the eliminated queens returned and performed in talent show to enhance their Fame Games vote. Ultimately it was Jaymes and Lala that slayed both the performances and the lip sync, earning Jaymes a vote double while Lala likely won herself the secondary crown after trebling her score.

Backstage the duo were well and truly feeling their oats, Jaymes in particular, given it also acted as her first ever win across her seasons. Being congenial – one of Lala’s other titles – the duo praised their sisters for turning a show before celebrating that it kinda means they are one step closer to $60k. Talk then turned to the actual top two of the season though, with everyone praising them for making it to the end and being stellar representatives of the season and ugh, it has been a long season, but I love seeing the dolls all celebrating each other and their different styles of drag.

The next day the entire cast returned again, where Lala showed off the filthy Spanish that Monica had kindly taught her. Kandy then tried to trick the girls into believing she and Jimbo were actually the ones that picked the top two for the talent show, but could barely get it out without giggling. After Darienne and MKD reiterated how fun Jaymes’ performance was, Naysha jumped in to point out she liked it, but thought others were better. Which left us the shot of Jaymes looking like Ralph Wiggum when Lisa broke his heart. Before she could break Jaymes any further, Ru dropped by to focus the dolls on the final challenge, where Jimbo and Kandy would have to perform original solo numbers on the mainstage. With full choreography, obviously filling Jimbo with dread.

After a tic tac luncheon with Ru and Michelle of course!

Up first was Ru’s favourite Canadian – did I lie? – with Ru and Michelle absolutely gushing over how much they love her. Jimbo opened up about growing up the child of alcoholics before her mother got sober and moved herself and the kids out of the house, and how it shaped her into becoming the silly, happy clown that we love. She spoke about how much winning would mean to her, as it would make her a beacon for weird kids all over the world. Kandy meanwhile admitted she had been super nervous about coming back, but how grateful she is to have come back and grown as much as she did. She admitted she relied on friends to make it through the competition, because she is ready for the crown damn it, and she knows she deserves it. And seeing her breakdown about how much she wants it, I feel bad, because it still feels like this is leading to the (rightful) Jimbo victory.

Meanwhile backstage the eliminated queens were sticking their hand in Ru’s big, pink box and giggled through a quiz before MKD won $1k and gifted some to Monica. This sent off a gold rush as they all pulled cards earning tips and holidays and I live, I guess.

Everyone came together to meet with Miguel Zarate and learn the choreography, so you know Jimbo was already bricking it. Thankfully Kandy was first up, reminding us she has been both in the bottom and won a rusical under Miguel’s guidance, so she hoped to err more towards victory for their latest dalliance. She appeared to be having fun though, giving sex and sass and living her best life. Jimbo meanwhile may not be the best dancer, but you best believe she was focused as hell and had so much heart, that she just may pull it off. I guess proving that grit and determination can take you all the way.

Coronation Day arrived with Kandy and Jimbo hoping to focus on celebrating their runs, rather than putting too much pressure on themselves. Darienne meanwhile jumped in on the love, telling them how excited she was to see them do battle and star. After a brief Sunday Riley commercial – CEO glow is great, so Jimbo was not lying – the dolls started talking about the tic tac luncheon with Kandy excited that Ru said she was her biggest fan. Which obviously made Jimbo nervous, given she didn’t get that feedback. Thankfully though, she focused on sewing a special outfit for the lip sync to give everyone a little surprise. Which I obviously hope is a Shirley Temple ruveal.

The rest of the dolls were busy kiki-ing, with Jaymes talking about not realising how much she wanted to win something, Jessica thrilled to have snatched some coin before Kandy was gagged about the eliminated queens winning money from Ru’s box. Alexis meanwhile tried to get everyone in their feels, with everyone gushing over their sisterhood and it was sweet, sweet filler.

We finally ventured to the mainstage where it was family only as Ru, Michelle, Carson and the hilarious Ross Mathews took their places on the panel. Before one final bit of filler as Ru performed ASMR Lover, sadly with long shorts on the back-up dancers, rather than the booty kind we all love. Eventually it was time for Jimbo to perform her delightfully camp number I Remember Being Born and while Jimbo wasn’t confident during rehearsal, she sold the hell out of it, leaning into all the stupid and fun and I live for every moment of it. Kandy’s Pay Me with Money was just as perfect for our finalist – and had back-up dancers in speedos! She was living her Gaga fantasy and proved to her lingering haters that she is nothing short of a star. We also got an epic gospel interlude with the entire cast and well, it was great so i’ll let this filler stay.

On the Finale Fabulosity runway Monica slayed in a regal, puffy, purple gown with a perfect mug. Naysha followed it up with an architectural blush and blue gown, MKD was a black and white stunning old dame, Darienne shone in a lime and black nude illusion while Jaymes gave dra-MA in an orange showgirl number. And it was PERFECT. Kahanna gave sunflower goddess realness, complete with a mirror cape – stunning – while Lala lived in a red, rosy number. Alexis served classic drama in a red satin gown, while Jessica looked so rich in a pretty, perfect pink gown. When it came to the finalists, Jimbo served as a sexy rocker demon queen – it was good – while Kandy looked stunning in a yellow feathered gown.

The top two took their places on the stage as the judges lavished Jimbo with praise for literally all that she did, including in the final performance as she committed to the story and stole the show. And as always, gave them something that only she could. Jimbo in turn thanked the judges for importing her from Canada by way of the UK, and letting her shine on drag’s biggest stage. They lived for how much Kandy grew between her seasons and for always knowing who she is, and committing. Kandy spoke about how she left it all on the floor for a chance to win the crown, before praising all the dolls for offering hope for the queer community.

Backstage the dolls joined together to toast their missing sister Heidi before Jimbo thanked them for how much they helped her and Kandy get to where they are. We then got an extra 20 minutes of sister on sister love and while it was lovely, let’s not waste any additional time on filler, ok?

The eliminated queens were wheeled out first to learn who would take out the Fame Games, with Lala hilariously earning yet another title. They were quickly wiped off stage as Jimbo and Kandy made their returns looking sparkly and bright, and of course, ready to ruveal. As soon as Do You Wanna Funk? kicked off, both of the dolls came out strong. Jimbo was silly and camp and had titties bouncing all over the stage – front and back – while Kandy was fierce and focused. Sadly though, that could only take her so far, as Jimbo’s massive titties and titty-buns shook her all the way to a very deserving crown, leaving Kandy to join Raven as a dual runner-up (which is impressive).

As the confetti settled, I snuck backstage and as soon as I saw Jimbo’s breastplate turn the corner, I pulled her in for a massive hug and congratulated her on a very deserving victory. I mean, from the very first moment she stepped into the Werk Room, it was clear that she had levelled up from her already sickening turn in UK vs the World and it was highly unlikely anyone would catch her. And week after week, she proved they couldn’t. Always on brand, always entertaining and constantly radiating joy, she learnt from her first two runs and applied them into a dominant performance that made sure she was the only possible victor. And that alone is worthy of the recipe of the season, a White Chocolate and Jimboconut Bundt.

This is one of those cakes that just screams winner. A copycat of the cake Tom Cruise sends to his friends at Christmas – I assume the only reason non-Scientologists answer his calls – it is so decadent and delightful. Just like Jimbo.

Enjoy!

White Chocolate and Jimboconut Bundt
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
300g unsalted butter at room temperature, plus excess for the pan
3 cups flour, plus excess for the pan
¾ tsp kosher salt
½ tsp baking powder
3 cups raw caster sugar
6 eggs, at room temperature
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp coconut extract
1 cup sour cream
3 ½ cups shredded coconut
1 cup white chocolate, finely chopped
115g cream cheese, at room temperature
2 cups icing sugar
2 tbsp double cream

Method
Preheat the oven 180C, and grease and flour a 10-inch bundt pan. Combine the flour, ½ tsp of the salt and baking powder in a large bowl.

Meanwhile in a stand mixer, cream 240g of the butter and raw caster sugar in a bowl on medium for about 5 minutes, or until light and fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time, waiting until the mixture comes back together until it comes together. Next, beat in half the vanilla extract, the coconut extract and sour cream until just combined. Remove from the mixer and fold through the flour mixture, 2 cups of the coconut and the white chocolate. Pour the batter into the bundt, pop it on a baking sheet and into the oven to cook for about 90 minutes, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean. Allow to cool in the pan for 20 minutes, before removing to a wire rack to cool completely.

Toast the remaining coconut in a dry saucepan until golden. Remove from the heat to cool.

Once the victorious cake is nearly completely cool, combine the cream cheese, remaining butter, vanilla extract and salt in a stand mixer and beat on medium for a couple of minutes or until smooth. Reduce to low and add the icing sugar, half a cup at a time, followed by the cream and beat until smooth.

Smooth the icing over the bundt and press with the toasted coconut to cover. Then slice, serve and devour. Because mama, we’re all hungry.

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